#if we want to stay friendly
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touchlikethesun Ā· 4 months ago
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i hate group work i hate group work i hate group work i hate group work i am 23 i should not have to do group work anymore this is awful please ughhhhh
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hugs-and-stabbies Ā· 9 months ago
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The self-awareness on this guy šŸ˜ž someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT
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cloud-ya Ā· 1 month ago
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my reaction to sonic 3 post credit scene but as shadow because I had my very cool shadow hoodie on lol
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threepandas Ā· 6 months ago
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Bad End: Eve
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You know how most Otome games are vaguely historical? Usually some non-specific mishmash of European countries? But fluffier and with more bows? It had once "gotten" to me, I think. I remember looking for outliers. Non-joke ones. Something that wasn't just "but this time with hats!"
I found one.
And now? Now I'm not sure if I curse that day or thank whatever force of nature lead me there. I guess... I guess it depends. Would I still have ended up HERE? If I had not found it? If so, then I genuinely and actually fucking rue it. Like... like actual "you'll rue the day! Bwahaha!" Type rue it. That's me. Ruing.
But? If it was always going to happen?
Then I guess...
I guess I'm weirdly glad. Because at least I have some fucking idea of what's going ON. Terrible, as it all is. Fucked, as the situation is. At least I'm not... not confused. Blind and at the mercy of those around me. Ignorance truely isn't bliss. All it does is leave you to try an fill in the blanks yourself. Usually with something far worse.
Not that the situation could GET much worse, by much.
I was in an Otome game. NOT a flower, high society, and dragons kind either. No. I? Was in a Dark Sci-Fi otome game. "Fate of man" was thrown around a lot. Power of luuuuv~ and such. Also, you know, HORRIFIC ethical violations. Human experimentation. Cataclysmic events and humanity "starting over".
All the high drama sci-fi concepts you could expect. It was a romp. Had good art. I'd had fun! Which is why I remember it so clearly.
Less fun when you're IN IT.
When you AREN'T one of the characters you KNOW will survive.
In fact, are one of the characters you know WON'T fucking survive. And will probably die MESSY. Horribly. Cause see, our BELOVED Harem collecting Protagonist? She? Was AN Eve. "AN".
Take a wild fucking guess what THAT project is about.
Did you say "breeding a better race of humans"? Ding ding ding! With humanity currently fucked, they want to FIX the problem by FIXING humanity. And of course, fuck ethics! Volunteers? Why use those?! Let's horrifically mad scientist our way to atrocity-ville! Make it all the more "God rightfully punishing us for our unforgivable sins" when we get wiped out!
Fffffffuck YOU, plot! I have to live here too!
You may, in fact, be picking up a slight note of stir crazy. A "wow, this lady rambles like a mother fucker" vibe. You would TOO, if you were stuck in a FUCKING TUBE. All I can do, day in and day out? Is wake, think, observe, then go right back to sleep. I can't even eat! I got a TUBE for that!
I... I miss showers.
Everything is GOO.
I'm an Eve. And if it weren't for the air tube controlng my breathing? I'd laughing hysterically until I died. And no, not in the "oh how funny" way. God. Oh... oh god. What a way to die. NONE of the Eves survive "the program".
Those IDIOTS are so OBSESSED with making bigger and bigger, better and better, FUCKING JUGGERNAUTS? That the Adams? Have long since reached the point of "mindless killing machine". UNSTABLE is putting it lightly. There is sexual dimorphism and then there's literal incompatibility.
But GOD FORBID the scientists admit that THEY are the ones with the inferior product.
It... it was even part of the game's plot. The scientist who made "Eve" HID her while HE made an Adam. I do not have that luxury. Somewhere, there is an unstable BESERKER being told I'm his "wife". That we're going to be HAPPY together. That he'll get to put his bruising, blood soaked hands anywhere he WANTS... just after he WINS me from the other Adam's.
Got to prove HE'S the best specimen, after all.
It makes my skin crawl. All I can hope, is that I can either provoke the bastard enough to kill me before they have a chance to stop him, or? I use my own enhanced strength to snap my neck. Maybe bite my tounge. Like HELL am I letting an Adam get near me.
The hiss of laboratory doors.
"Perfection at last..." Comes a relieved sigh. "All those HIDEOUS specimens. Why they make me suffer them, I'll never understand. We should have terminated them months ago. My poor project, they really think they're WORTHY of you..."
There's a derisive laugh. The scientist strolling into the lab I've been developing in, familiar. I watch him casually shrug off his lab coat and dump is bag. Hang his coat over the back of his chair. Turn, as he does each day, to STARE up at me. His eyes are a pale, pale purple the likes of which I've never seen before.
They're HAUNTING.
There is almost a red tint to them, though maybe that's the lights. The goo. I can never tell. He always looks ENTRANCED by me. Floating, visored, connected to far too many tubes an' wires. I'd think it was the fact that I was naked if it weren't for the way his gaze doesn't seem to drift lower then my shoulders. Seems more entranced by the way my hair moves, as though under water.
I've never once heard him talk about me lustfully.
But that doesn't mean he doesn't SCARE me.
"Let's begin, shall we? Time for your daily doses, mmm?" He says, voice dangerously affectionate. As though i had CHOSEN to do this to myself. As though he were merely reminding me of my morning medicine and not the hell ahout to come. "Going to be good for me? I know you shall, you always are."
He turned back to his desk, his computer. A few keystrokes... and I could feel the pod above me begin to hum, as it awoke. Oh god. Oh god it never got easier. From the corner of my eyes, bright chemicals slide down thind lines and into my veins. Like lines of lava. Bolts of electricity and pain. It was... AGONY.
My muscles seized. Brain screeched, first to the screaming I wish I could make... then static. With the long practice of daily pain, it took me far away. The click, click, click of keys. The sound of his voice, so terribly PLEASED, as I hung there and just TOOK it. No restraints, no strugging, no damaging myself. Just unbearable fire in my veins and a brain far, far away.
"Good girl~"
Distantly a phone rang. He made an annoyed sound, but picked up regardless.
"What. I'm in the middle of- ...Excuse me? I'm quite sure I did not hear you correctly. I said 'NO'. She's not-....I will NOT BE-...What. Are you out of your god damned MIND? That pile of scraps you call a project is coming NOWHERE near my-! ....you think you're clever, don't you?"
"Fine. You want to TALK? Let's TALK, Anderson. I'll be there in five."
From far away, past the pain, I watched him chance down at something at the screen. Back up to me. He hung up the phone but did not pause the program. Instead, calmly rising from his desk. Shrugging on his lab coat. Rounding the desk and striding towards my bio-tube.
"Hmmm, honestly, it should have been spaced out over a few more days... but you can take it. Endure a bit longer for me, would you, darling? Daddy's going to go deal with something for just a moment, he'll be right back, my perfect girl. Be good."
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to my tank. One hand splayed next to it like he badly wished he could touch. Could stroke skin. Hold his creation close. It was not the first time he had done this. Small, covetous, little actions like he wanted to crawl inside my skin and STAY there. Like he cursed the glass that separated us.
He pulled back. Shifted to the side and kneeled. He... had hidden something behind my bio-pod? When? Apparently before I had become aware. Because I had not known about it. A black shoe box. I watched him open i-GUN. Thaaaat was a gun! Fuck. Well at least? By the time anyone thinks to look in on me? The overdose will probably have killed me?
There is a cold, terrible smile on his face as he rolls to his face. Tucking the gun into an inner pocket. It has a silencer. He leans forward one last time. Lightly kissing the glass of my pod, as though heading off to work and not to very obviously kill somebody. The pain continues. Builds. I watch him leave.
With nothing to anchor myself on... time blurs.
I think? There are alarms? Red lights flash. Then they stop. There is shouting at one point. But then silence. An explosion? Or am I hallucinating? Pain. My nerves are on fire. I don't want to have SKIN. Please... please make it STOP! Calm foot steps? Come to kill me? Please come to kill me. Make it STOP.
The lights died a... time? Ago? Emergency lights on now. Generators in the room are loud. Why can I still hear the feet? Footses? Words. H..hurts. please.
Click.
The pain eases to a stop. Aching but nothing new. Over? Oh, thank god. I can sleep now, right? But... sound? New. At my feet. Gurgling. Wha-? The very top of my head feels cold. Then my forehead. Then my temple's and ears, cheeks, jaw... wait. Is? Is the tube...DRAINING? I open my eyes.
When did I close them?
He's back.
Standing right in front of the tube. Blood staining the hem of his coat, lingering marks of his massacre cleaned but not quite scrubbed from his body. There are little off red stains on his cheek, from what must be blood splatter. They look like tiny freckles.
I'm... I can't...
I reach as the tube down my throat is pulled almost carelessly away by the machine. Choke, suffocate, as the same is done for my air tube. But then it's done... and I can BREATHE under my own power. Gasp and splutter, as the goo sloshes around my knees. Then it's gone. And the tube I've been leaning my weight against is roughly pulled away.
I collapse forward, my muscles having never actually supported me in this life.
Arms catch me. Wrapping me in a possessive hug. A hand immediately burying itself in long uncut hair, even as the other wraps itself around my torso to lean me against his body in a cradle. My face is pressed to his neck by the hand in my hair, cradling my head and neck. I can feel breath against the goo wet crown of my head.
"Finally~" he breaths out, whispering it against me like a sigh. "My beautiful, perfect girl. My darling creation. It took so LONG. Those retrobates interfering at every turn, lusting after you like ANIMALS, trying to keep you from me. Then, worst of all, trying to toss you to some pack of savages? Oh, darling~ Daddy's been so worried for you."
"But we'll be okay now, won't we? I finally have you. All fresh and finally finished. My perfect Eve. You can pick any name you want, of course. You and I will be leaving this ugly little place. Daddy has PLANS. A fresh new world, just for you, sweetheart."
He laughed, his hug tightening in a way that would have left bruises had I been a normal human. Kisses were pressed to my temple. A cheek, rubbed against my hair. He seemed... seemed GIDDY with it. That nothing could stop him now. There was no glass in his way. I could not move yet. My muscles twitched when I tried, but that was it. I wasn't even sure I could talk yet, if I tried.
"Aaah~ā™” Welcome to the World, Darling. My Perfection. My Eve. This time no snakes or Adams to tarnish you. To get in your way. Just you and your Father~"
"FOREVER~ā™”"
Next: ->
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bumblydumbly Ā· 5 months ago
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insane how people act like charles is ā€˜the jealous oneā€™ like edwin didnt spend the whole first episode screaming crying throwing up every time charles looked at crystal and not him
#obv its deeper than that#like after 30 years of almost always taking edwins side on everything#he suddenly leaves WITH SOME RANDOM GIRL while saying he has a poor attitude and hes like? do i? yeah bc the living suck right? right?#and he decides to stay annoyed when they come back bc he LEFT him ugh. for a GIRL. like theyā€™re actually still teens in school#so he really really hopes this is a passing fancy. like a pet or something. a wounded bird that we CANNOT KEEP#and when charles points out that it is in fact jealousy (which by charles time is not at all couple exclusive) it literally takes him aback.#bro said ā€˜jealous?ā€™ so breathlessly like cmon. but b4 he could let that sink in crystal wakes up so he lets it go#probably had a whole internal convo where he reconciled being able to be friend-jealous and then kicked it up. like really up#ā€˜maybe its your outfitā€™ and ā€˜also we are punishing youā€™ and ā€˜are you ready to talk to her shoesā€™#ā€˜you spoke to a demon in this friendly malt shopā€™ and ā€˜oh you love this dont youā€™ and ā€˜saved you one time and now you wont leave eitherā€™#like yes he IS jealous and yes he WILL make it everyoneā€™s problem on purpose#do i even have to pull out ā€˜of course you fell for a living girlā€™ (looks at him through his lashes) help him#90 percent of these are from the FIRST EPISODE okay#episode 1 edwin is THE cattiest bitch so it tracks that the cat king wants him#point is they are both insanely jealous ok#dbda#dead boy detectives#payneland#paineland#bumblysdumbly
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swagging-back-to Ā· 8 months ago
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worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.
#yes this is about voltron and it's also about guardians of the galaxy#what james gunn did to gamora in GOTG3 is criminal#i understand why they did it but to end with her GOING BACK TO THE RAVAGERS?#fail end.#seriously#and it doesnt even make sense bc ofc the high evolutionary isnt going to be the last problem they would deal with#in just a few years they encountered 5 people trying to destroy the universe and who were incredibly difficult foes#youre finna tell me there will never be a situation like that for the rest of their lives?#gtfo#and mantis' end was dumb too not even sorry#i can tolerate drax and nebula's ends.#but everyone else?#stupid#even peter's ending was fucking moronic. bro can pop in on the weekends he doesnt need to be a live in nurse for his grandpa#it's just such a major letdown and sucks everytime a director/author decides to split up the found family permanently#at least with voltron you can rationalize it by saying 'oh they never really wouldve hung out with eachother if they werent forced to for#voltron and werent forced to fight a war together.' and i can see it bc none of them DO hang out together before voltron#they barely even hang out AFTER they become voltron#keith and shiro hang out bc of the adoption/fostering/mentoring thing. lance and hunk MIGHT hang out bc they were already teammates#it's important to note that we never really see hunk and lance being bffs. theyre just friendly to eachother.#this becomes even more apparent once hunk and pidge actually become friends. it's very obvious hunk was just being friendly to lance.#just friendly.#(take this with a grain of salt bc ive only watched the whole series one time. i refuse to acknowledge anything after se 2.)#so yeah it does make more sense theyd all go their own ways but not even the small friend groups stay together at the end!#pidge and hunk are in completely different galaxies from eachother. same with keith and shiro#lance is isolated from all of them bc post se 3 writing team genuinely hated him and failed him as a character.#but GOTG3? they CHOSE to band together time and time again. they CHOSE to be a team. they CHOSE to be family#for every single one of them to say 'nah fuck that i want to be on my own bc uhhh reasons!' is a lame ending.#period.#gotg3
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kneworder Ā· 1 month ago
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going to a small nye party w one of my friends from high school and a few of their friends who I havenā€™t spoken to since high school wish me luck
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mylove-thresher Ā· 6 days ago
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Never,imd im fucking crying and I just got home
#My ma rearranged my decor in my room and broke shit while I was away#Specifically my Sanrio collection#Iā€™m going to fucking kill myself I hated today#I keep feeling so jealous of this girl but only bc sheā€™s really cool and it pisses me off bc I wanna be as friendly as her#She did a presentation and everyone was so all over her we wasted 30 minutes instead of what shouldā€™ve been 5 mins#And I also feel so fucking pathetic bc she brought food and everyone enjoyed it while I was disgusted by it#Bc Iā€™m so picky w food and I hated how it looked and I donā€™t even eat vegetables#But everyone was so happy and I just canā€™t get over it bc I wish I took part in it but I just stayed away#While everyone looked at me weirdly for not wanting to eat the food she brought#Iā€™m against myself at this point what is wrong w me shit#I donā€™t want to talk to anyone about anything esp not my parents and ik theyā€™re gonna be annoying as hell#I drew on the blackboard w some chalk and it looked rlly good and then this girl I liked just went ahead and erased it on ourpose#After I told her I drew it all proud and shit like it genuinely hurt me and she was just joking around#Forget whatever the fuck I said yesterday Iā€™m hopeless and I should just simmer in my own misery inside my room#I shouldnā€™t be feeling like this but I canā€™t help it and I really hate it#Iā€™m sorry for making so many vent posts lately but Iā€™d rather tell some strangers on the internet that I kinda like instead of irl people#Iā€™m so scared of being fr w people ik
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jessiesjaded Ā· 10 days ago
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Second time my cousin has bought this girl to a family thing (first my birthday, second his bday) but keeps insisting they're just friends and this time her and I chatted for 2 hours and got along great... Cuzzie you should make your intentions known bc I might be having ideas. Also she said my cupcakes I made last time were the best shes ever had in her life šŸ˜
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luck-of-the-drawings Ā· 9 months ago
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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todayisafridaynight Ā· 5 months ago
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plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned
canā€™t wait to see it in dragon engine :3
mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear
#snap chats#originally i wrote 'funniest character alive' and then remembered. HAH im so funny //throws up//#all my fave charas know how to do is get crazy on planes over men they love its disgusting#utterly hilarious cause after making the last post i went on twitter and they mentioned ANOTHER plane scene i throw up over#diff franchise so not important it is just SIMPLY funny how coincidences work and further confirming I Have A Type#BUT NO BACK TO MINE IT'S STILL SO FUCKIN FUNNY I HAVE TO REWATCH IT#i have to replay it .... all of y3 ...#if anyone remembers my friend from college and how we used to stream she asked me if we could stream#and i was like 'girl i havent streamed in Fuck Ever huh' and yk what maybe i'll stream y3 with her#at the very least ill stream y3 for myself ... legend mode .....#ive beaten y3 legend mode one (1) time and it was the worst experience of my life because if its not shadow the hedgehog#i am not good at the game i am playing !!!!!!!!!!! it'll be funny tho#i remember wanting to do a y3 drinking run but i told myself id stop drinking so i simply think. i will substitute drinking for hot sauce#its an idea im ironing out and i also have to like. properly set up a twitch- or maybe ill stream through youtube#ive always liked youtube streaming more ... at least as a viewer#these are all details for plans i will not be enacting literally any time soon can i stay on topic#the topic being i love mine. i love that plane scene forever the casual Whats Goin On Here :)#and he is the embodiment of :) in that scene casue :] is gen friendly but :) has an underlying aura of Im Going To Kill You#thats him in that scene. and i love him. for the third time. im ending this post now forever and always stan mine#if and whenever y3k comes out i cant wait to see !! but i personally believe that's well and away from us at this point#not impossible since they did mention it but yk. i dont think itll happen within the next year or two#maybe next five or ten realistically. if that jVLAEKJVLAEKJ ok bye fr now
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mad-hunts Ā· 8 months ago
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this is a very specific scenario, i know, but barton trauma-bonding with a hero and vice versa because they got stuck in the middle of the desert together due to the fact that they were both simultaneously betrayed / LEFT TO DIE there, but they managed to survive after they spent some time vehemently refusing to help each other in the beginning. though, they soon began to help each other (albeit reluctantly) because they realized that would be the ONLY way that they would survive this. and barton tries to kickstart their bastardization arcā„¢ by telling the hero to kill the people who dumped them there. and this is because, in his mind, they don't deserve to live. then barton goes on to tell them that he's planning on killing the person who betrayed him so it's fineee if the hero does it,, because he ain't a snitch + won't tell anyone they killed anyone (,: now whether or not the hero actually starts their bastardization arc is up to them, of course, but if anyone is interested in a plot like this... HMU because i think this would be such an interesting dynamic to roleplay šŸ‘€
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ahh. we love... two people that normally wouldn't interact on friendly terms.... trauma-bonding? šŸ«  idk LOL but something-#about this plot satisfied a dynamic that i've been wanting for a while and that is the ' people who hate each other become friends -#through a near-death experience / something that FORCES them to depend on each other ' type of thing and just. Thinking about how-#ruthless the desert can be in terms of survivability makes it that much more believable for me that two people would only really-#be able to stay alive there if they actually start collaborating with each other and set aside whatever differences they may have had-#from before so yeah. plus i just... idk why but i just kind of want barton to be friends with a hero okok though not through traditional-#means ofc because they would hate him which is more than deserved. though just imagining them trying to get 'back to normal' after this-#happens and by that i mean them having the usual 'hero-villain' dynamic BUT it doesn't work especially in barton's case-#bc they showed barton that they could trust him and he actually LIKES them as a person now so they just kind of. Meet in secret-#sometimes now and because they were out there for a while (i'm thinking probably around 2-3 months) perhaps they-#depended on each other for comfort too bc OMG is that a long ass time to be deserted somewhere and so man's will just sort of cuddle-#up to them like they did in the desert with his head in their lap as they run a hand through his hair and basically. Yeah they've got a-#complicated relationship now to say the least šŸ˜…#tw: mentions of murder.
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calla-lilly Ā· 10 months ago
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i am so entertained by this week's eps like we are SO back
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milflewis Ā· 11 months ago
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.
#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isnā€™t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh iā€™m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like sheā€™s hasnā€™t been gone#since iā€™ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesnā€™t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasnā€™t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasnā€™t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isnā€™t. he doesnā€™t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so sheā€™s tired today. donā€™t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late heā€™d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u canā€™t parent them. he didnā€™t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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elytrafemme Ā· 4 months ago
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How do i even fucking answer that. Genuinely. Do i even answer that. I dont really think ic are that much anymore
#shes not really all that#I can just cancel on her tbh#Because like. Literally whats the point#Ok we can hang out sure whatever sure I dont care though? I dont#that's not why i was interested. Like she seems great to be clear and i do love talking to her#but like. Im not even like. A complete person.#Its ok. Im going to just ride out today and tmrw i will probably be logical even though I think i just am going to delte the app#bc Whats the fucking point !#Yeah lets friendly style go to a flea market. Fucking sure. On the dating app. Sure.#and everyone is like that sucks but you know that its good she told you - Yeah but i didnt want to fucking know that#Nobody gets how hard it is to always hear I want to fuck you from people you don't like and hear#I can't be with you because you won't fuck me. from people you do like#WHATEVER it seems like all my friends are having good days and I like did a thing and its not like any of this matters#Because ill cancel on her and that will give me more time to do something productive that day#And all this is good becausei can just get ahead on my fucking work#and instead of me being there my two friends who are dating can like cuddle and I just dont have to be involved at all#and she can just. Whatever. I don't really like her anyway#'lets be friends' in the context of something that isnt that is such an afterthought I understand that culturally.#Ik this is all really amatonormative and i realize im being a dick in that way. I do have more sensible opinions generally i assure u#but like. yeah man nobody will want to date me unless i fuck them. Awesome news. Should i just kill myself.#will mare ever actually have a truly requited relationship? despite having been in three? Stay tuned
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emeraldbabygirl Ā· 7 months ago
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I hate it here. Not like tumblr but yaā€™know. I miss when I was a kid and only thought about how long I had to play with my toys because I was carefree and not of age yet to worry about adult stuff. I want time to just stop. I want it to stop Iā€™m tired of everything I want off this ride and the only way I know how to make it all stop is forbidden. I just want to stay in bed forever and pretend Iā€™m a kid playing with my toys again without a care in the world because I am a kid.
#new anime plot: miagwyn bitches#this was brought to you by the letter p#for PokĆ©mon because went down the nostalgia rabbit hole and now I feel even worse than what I did earlier :)#also I canā€™t play some of my PokĆ©mon games anymore cause the internal battery is dead#like on my emerald and fire red games#and Iā€™m not being dramatic but I want to cry about it#the fact that..like old stuff is disappearing and I hate it#I want the old things to come back just like they were#fuck the new shit I want to go into a store and by a gameboy from the electronics section#I want to buy a 1960ā€™s vw bus from the new dealership if I want#I want rotary phones and land lines to come back#I want to go get ice cream for 50 cents#you see what I mean??#this is why I hate time so much#I hate going forward I didnt fucking ask for this#Iā€™m spiraling as I speak Iā€™m so tired I miss when PokĆ©mon had 150 monsters#I miss Sunday morning cartoons like Mickey Mouse and Tom & jerry#I miss when I could go play outside in the dirt and the neighbor we had was friendly#and trees were everywhere#and the worst thing was bedtime cause I wanted to stay up and play with my toys#I miss when my mum could still see really well#I rember laying on my parents bed one Sunday morning after breakfast thinking about how life was not a game and that Iā€™d die one day#shit freaked me out but now Iā€™m 25 and I still think about that and that day and#I hate it here#I just want everything to stop
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