#ruthless the desert can be in terms of survivability makes it that much more believable for me that two people would only really-

[jasiper]

golden

fine line series 1/12

you’re so golden

i’m out of my head

i know that you’re scared

because hearts get broken

A golden state of mind. That’s the California dream, isn’t it? The place where dreams come true, where fleeting thoughts can transform into a tangible reality. The place where the sun never seems to set. The place where nobody is sad—and if someone is sad, there are the means to not feel sad anymore.

Piper’s life seemed to begin—and end—in the golden state. Her dad was living the golden life, making money and walking the red carpets and flashing his pearly whites on the big screen. When she went to the store, his face was plastered on every other magazine cover. He was what the famous people called a California dream. He made something out of nothing. His daughter? Well, she was trying.

But even trying is a generous word for her. California is the place where her dad found his career but lost Piper in the frenzy of the media. This was the place she felt the most alone. This is the place she found herself in the backseat of a police cruiser. This is the place she appeared in court. This is the place where her dad told her she shouldn’t be. She found herself forced across state lines and as she stared over the desert, she saw that Nevada had golden sunsets. Just like California. Only there was no water to reflect the light—only miles and miles of dry land and broken dreams and white walls where bad kids like her resided. But Piper wasn’t a bad kid. She just couldn’t find a place in the golden state.

Dreams came true in California. Only her dream didn’t.

Most people found heartbreak later on in life. Piper felt her first heartbreak as a kid. She should have been tucked into bed by her dad after a bedtime story with a kiss on the forehead. She fell asleep alone, clutching a teddy bear to her chest because her dad was off shooting another movie. Dance recitals meant that she looked out at the audience without a familiar face in sight. She never attended a daddy/daughter dance. Her first heartbreak was due to her own father’s negligence. She promised herself that no one would ever hurt her the way her dad did.

As Piper expected, she didn’t experience a golden state of mind in California. She felt that anticipated bliss in the middle of the winter in New York.

After a whirlwind December, everything Piper thought she knew turned out to be false. Her entire world flipped upside down. It took her the whole month of January to learn the ropes of being half-god. Turns out, there are a lot of things to be taught when your mother is the Greek goddess of love, including how to fight with a dagger, how to detect monsters, and how to come to terms with the fact that an evil earth entity is waking up. Maybe Piper would never achieve the California dream her dad was living; how could she? Everything she ever knew was a lie. Even if she had believed in God or whatever before all of this, she isn’t sure she’d be able to handle the real truth well.

If not for Leo, Piper probably wouldn’t survive this. Not with her life in jeopardy. Not with the knowledge of being a charmspeaker. And certainly not with the fact that her boyfriend wasn’t really her boyfriend at all.

It seems shallow, even to Piper. Her dad almost died and she almost died and the world almost ended but the Mist incident was—and still is—the lowest blow in this entire mess. The closest thing to a golden state of mind was just a hallucination, an illusion, a dream. So ironic since her mom is Aphrodite; shouldn’t her one success be in the romance department?

It took two months for them to kiss (for real this time). It happened so fast, it felt like a dream. Piper was being her usual nervous self, fiddling with her own fingers and she was babbling away and suddenly Jason leaned in to kiss her. The warm feeling in her stomach didn’t go away for a whole week after the kiss. She was smiling like an idiot even while training. Leo gave her shit for her grin and Annabeth rolled her eyes, but she didn’t care. The boy she liked kissed her after everything she endured—Jason didn’t have to like her after the Mist gave her fake memories.

But Piper stopped smiling when reality sank in. Sure, she and Jason were now exclusive, but when did things ever go right for demigods? She heard of the tragedy of her late older sister, Silena, and her boyfriend Beckendorf. Things ended horribly for them. She looked to her new friend, Annabeth, and her tired grey eyes, defeated from dead ends in the search to find her missing boyfriend. There were picture frames lining the walls of the Big House. Half of the faces were strangers to her even though the picture was recent, and although Chiron would never say it, she knew they were dead. How many people really achieved a happy ending here? Camp Half-Blood was the self-proclaimed safe place for Greek demigods, but she felt like she was walking on a gravesite.

And even if Piper somehow were to beat the odds and live through this war, love was never kind. Anyone could see that, not just a daughter of Aphrodite. She grew up in Hollywood’s backyard—she saw the headlines reporting that celebrity couples were divorcing. Love, as powerful as it is, is cruel. It’s ruthless and even has gods at its mercy. Her mother is feared for a reason.

If her own father had the ability to break her heart, what was stopping Jason from doing the same thing?

The walls go up. Piper feels like a child again, staring at her darkened bedroom wall, wishing more than anything that she could live her life without fear.

Unlike her past, someone recognizes that her walls are up.

It must have been hours upon hours of sparring. A sidestep, a parry, a kick to the dummy’s chest. When the dummy fell, Piper would wipe her sweaty forehead, take a breath, pick up the dummy, and start again. A mindless, tedious routine. Anything to get the image of her bedroom wall out of her mind. Anything to chase away the irrational fear dormant in her chest. 

By the time she kicks down the dummy again, she looks up mid-forehead wipe and sees Jason. He stands about five feet away, frustratingly dashing in his black tank top with the sleeves cut off. His sword hangs from the sheath on his hip and by the look of his own sweaty brow, Piper can only guess he had been training as well. When he runs his fingers through his hair—which is glistening in the sun, may she add—she can see his tattoo, forever a reminder of the Mist.

“You’ve been out here for a while,” Jason finally says after several moments of silence.

Piper sheaths her knife. When she finally allows her body to relax, she notices how her arms feel like jello. She’s more exhausted than she thought. “Not too long. I’m still a little shaky on my technique,” she answers, voice hoarse.

Jason bends down and grabs her water bottle. He extends an arm and she gratefully takes it, taking a swig. As she’s drinking, he says gently, “Pipes, you’ve been out here for hours. Annabeth was ready to drag you away from the dummy herself, but I didn’t think you’d appreciate that when you’re so, uh, on edge.”

On edge? Am I on edge? Piper wants to ask, but she can see Jason’s concern even though he tries to hide it. There’s that crease between his eyebrows that develops when he’s worried. She saw it when she broke her ankle and got hypothermia. She doesn’t like how he’s worried. He shouldn’t be worried, right?

“I’m fine,” Piper replies, though she doesn’t sound so sure.

The crease only deepens between his eyes. “Really? Fine?”

Piper’s knuckles are white around her water bottle. Jason’s looking at her with a concerned, almost bewildered expression. This should comfort her; someone with the intention of breaking her heart shouldn’t be this worried about her, right?

But Jason is a good person. Break him down to his soul and that’s what he is: a good person. He’s the kind of guy who offers up half of his sandwich if someone forgot to pack lunch. He’s the kind of guy who holds the door open for a crowd of people even if they’re ten feet away. He’s also the kind of guy who jumps into the Grand Canyon for a complete stranger.

What’s stopping a good person from realizing he made a mistake and leaving and unintentionally breaking Piper’s heart anyway?

“Pipes?” Jason’s voice snaps her out of her reverie. “Are you okay? You look like you’re about to be sick.”

“I’m fine,” is her instant reply. Her voice wobbles and she winces because she does not sound fine. Jason’s look of concern grows more apparent and she clears her throat to try speaking again. “Really. Just… Wow, I am so tired. You’re right, I’ve been out here for a while and I’m tired and probably dehydrated—”

“Piper—”

Piper sidesteps away as Jason moves forward. She turns so she’s walking backward, careful not to turn her back on him to assure him she’s alright. “I really need to shower and probably lay down. I’m fine, really, I am, I just—”

Her ankle snags on something on the ground as she backpedals. She tries to balance her weight a moment too late, her body too exhausted to keep herself upright. She braces herself for impact as she trips ungracefully—pun not intended— over the mysterious object on the ground.

Before she can hit the ground, a hand wraps around her wrist and tugs her forward. The momentum of the pull sends her flying and she crashes into a warm, firm body. It takes her a few seconds to realize she’s in Jason’s arms, his hands gripping her biceps. She turns her head to see that she dripped over the dummy she had been sparring with a few minutes ago.

“Piper,” Jason begins slowly, worry laced in his words, “what is going on?”

The worry in his voice isn’t enough to free Piper from her fear. She looks into his eyes and irrationally sees the end to a very recent relationship and it’s all too much to handle. It’s dumb, it’s irrational, it’s flat-out stupid to think about nonexistent relationship problems with her perfectly kind boyfriend when she’s probably destined to die from Mother Nature herself but here she is, in Jason’s arms, and it’s all too much.

Piper pushes her perfectly good boyfriend away and tries to ignore the hurt flashing to his eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to—I can’t—”

A crowd has formed. The volleyball game between some Apollo and Athena kids has come to a complete standstill. Annabeth is in her usual spot for this time of the afternoon, perched in front of her cabin, a book in her hands, and even from several yards away Piper can see those disappointed grey eyes. The only thing making this situation less embarrassing is the fact that Leo isn’t there; he’s busy with his siblings working on the Argo II. If Leo had to see Piper like this…

“Pipes?” Jason makes one last attempt. “What’s going on? Talk to me. Please.”

“I can’t, Jason,” Piper manages, voice shaky, and the edges of her vision blur together as tears prick her eyes. “I can’t.”

It takes all of her willpower not to sprint back to her cabin. She lowers her head and tries to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest—the same sinking feeling she felt when she boarded a plane to Nevada—as she walks away.

***

“You’re going to have to talk to him, you know.”

“I know I do. I just… can’t right now.”

“You already missed dinner last night. And breakfast this morning. Are you really going to let your embarrassment keep you from eating and talking to Jason?”

Piper risks a look at Annabeth from under the pillow she has covering her face. Although Annabeth’s voice is a bit condescending, there’s no hiding the worry on her friend’s face.

“I just don’t understand, Piper,” Annabeth continues. “You chased after him for two months, hoping he’d like you back and within two weeks you’re, what, pushing him away?”

“It’s not that simple,” Piper protests, burying her face deeper into her pillow and rolling on her side to face away from Annabeth. “I’m not trying to do this.”

“You’re not trying to stop it from happening,” Annabeth says softly. “You’ve had every chance to go talk to him since yesterday and you’ve locked yourself in your cabin. You won’t even talk to Leo.”

“Leo won’t understand this.”

Annabeth’s hand, calloused from hours of training, rests on Piper’s arm. It moves down to rub her back. Annabeth isn’t one for physical comfort but she must sense Piper needs it. “Why won’t Leo understand? He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”

“Leo’s never been in a relationship,” Piper mumbles, her voice mumbled by her pillowcase. “I’m sure if I tell Leo how I feel, he’ll look at me like I’m crazy.”

“You’re pushing away the guy of your dreams. You are a little crazy,” Annabeth weakly teases.

Piper lowers her pillow and stares at the cabin wall. She stares at the picture of her and her dad in front of her face and her chest tightens. “Maybe he’s not the guy of my dreams.”

“You literally called him that after he kissed you for the first time.”

“Yeah, well, I was stupid and I wasn’t thinking straight,” Piper retorts. “I’m fifteen. What do I know about love?”

Annabeth sighs. “You’re the daughter of Aphrodite. I feel out of my element here. I’m not one for relationship advice.”

Piper chews on her bottom lip. She wonders if Annabeth would understand her crazy, irrational fear of Jason breaking her heart. If her dad, the person who raised her, could break her heart, what was stopping Jason from doing the same? Good guy or not, he has a history he still doesn’t remember, a family of Roman soldiers across the country who might change his mind. The uncertainty of her relationship—and her life—had been eating away at her sanity for weeks.

Before Piper could come up with a response to Annabeth’s comment, a knock sounds from the door. Annabeth calls out, “Who is it?”

“Uh.” Piper sits up because she recognizes that voice. “It’s me, uh, Jason.”

Annabeth looks over at Piper, eyebrows raised. Piper shrugs so Annabeth asks, “What do you need?”

“I know Piper’s in there,” Jason says through the door. “I need to talk to her. Piper? Can I please talk to you? Alone?”

“We’re not allowed to be alone in a cabin together,” is Piper’s pathetic reply.

Jason sighs. “Okay, then we don’t have to—”

Annabeth stands and quickly crosses the room despite Piper’s noise of protest. She opens the door, revealing a crestfallen Jason, and says, “I’ll keep watch. You guys need to work out whatever’s up, I don’t really know what’s up, but if we’re going to go on a quest in a few weeks, we can’t have miscommunication. Got it?”

“Understood,” Jason replies obediently.

“Piper?” Annabeth’s grey eyes flash.

“Yes,” Piper mumbles, still clutching her pillow to her chest.

“Perfect. I’ll be right outside. Yell if you need me.” Annabeth sends Piper one last stop being a baby look and shuts the door behind her.

A long silence follows the door closing behind Annabeth. Jason stands just inside the cabin, staring down at his feet, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Piper’s heart races inside her chest and she grips the pillow like a lifeline.

I just don’t understand, Piper, Annabeth’s voice echoes in Piper’s head. You chased after him for two months, hoping he’d like you back and within two weeks you’re, what, pushing him away?

“You can sit down, if you want,” Piper offers softly. Jason lifts his head and she pats the bed mattress beneath her. “I promise I won’t bite. Or yell. Or push you off.”

Jason cracks a smile and he chuckles. “Promise?”

“I promise. Come here.”

Jason finally walks over and sits on the edge of her bed. He turns his body to face her and for a moment, he studies her face. Her heart races and she wonders what he’s thinking. Although she’s getting better at reading his face, sometimes it’s impossible to know what he could be thinking.

“What… happened yesterday?” Jason asks quietly. “I noticed something was wrong a few days ago, but I didn’t… I just thought you were a little down, which is totally understandable. But yesterday you really worried me. Did I do something wrong?”

It takes Piper a few seconds to realize Jason blames himself. She blinks and rapidly shakes her head. “What? No, no, of course not. You haven’t done anything wrong. I mean it. If you did, I would tell you.”

“Are you sure?” Suddenly Jason isn’t the son of Jupiter, or Zeus, or whatever. He’s not the guy who fought the king of the giants with a piece of scrap wood. He’s not the guy who jumped into the Grand Canyon to save her. He’s a scared, insecure fifteen-year-old boy who looks worried about messing up.

If only he knew the only one messing up was her.

“Jason.” Piper pushes away the pillow and scoots closer to him. She takes his hands into his, threading her fingers through hers. She looks up to meet his eyes and she sees the fear. She has to swallow her embarrassment from yesterday’s blowup as she says, “You are… perfect. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I feel like I have,” Jason whispers. “You’ve been so distant. So quiet. I thought you were overwhelmed with the upcoming quest and the fear and everything because I’m scared, too. But yesterday it seemed like you were distant from me and me only.”

Her stomach twists into knots. The hurt in his voice is so evident and it’s her fault. Her irrational fears have forced a perfectly good guy, a guy who likes her, to doubt himself. Some girlfriend she is.

“I’m… scared,” Piper breathes. Jason leans in closer, staring at her with such an intense gaze that she forces herself to look away. “I didn’t realize how scared I was until we got together.”

“Scared?” Jason asks. “Scared of… me?”

“No,” Piper assures him. She squeezes his fingers and he brings their intertwined hands up to kiss her knuckles as he sighs out a breath of relief. “Scared of… this.”

“This?” Jason keeps her knuckles against his lips. “Our relationship?”

As Piper hears it out loud, she realizes how stupid she’s being. She nods miserably, staring at her knees. “Scared of trusting someone this much.”

“Is it me? Or just in general?” Jason asks. His voice is so kind and understanding that it makes Piper want to cry.

“In general… and a little bit of you,” Piper admits. “I know that Hera’s meddling wasn’t your fault, but the Mist really messed me up.”

Jason kisses her fingertips this time. “Gods, I know. It would mess anyone up. I am still so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. The Mist and my dad and the whole demigod thing… It was a lot to swallow at once, you know? That and all of my baggage.”

“Baggage?” Jason sounds confused.

“You know. The relationship with my dad. Not having a mom.”

“Oh.” Jason tightens his grip on her hand. “Yeah. Not having a mom… sucks.”

Piper realizes how insensitive she sounds—she has a mom. Sure, Aphrodite is a goddess, but she’s still alive. She’s there in her own weird, annoying, immortal way. But Jason… His mom was abusive and she gave him away when he was a toddler and now she’s dead. At least Piper had her dad, which is more than what Jason could say; Jason has never met Zeus and judging by the tallies tattooed on his arm, his dad has had more than enough time to pop in and say hi. If Piper has it bad, Jason has it worse.

“It’s… so stupid and it’s unfair of me to be taking it out on you,” Piper continues. “But I thought I knew you and then it was all the trick of the Mist. I’m still getting to know you. And trust me, I like what I know. I really, really do. But my own dad broke my heart, Jason. He neglected me for years, thinking he was providing for us. He was gone for days and weeks at a time. He missed every dance recital, every parent-teacher conference. He didn’t see me graduate from middle school. He didn’t come to my first soccer game. My dad missed everything. I know it sounds so unfair because I had a dad, I had a pretty normal life and you didn’t, but my dad… I was a kid and he broke my heart. My own dad did that. If the person who raised me could do that much damage, what’s stopping any other person from doing the same thing? Is something wrong with me? Are you going to wake up one day and realize I’m not the person you want and leave?”

Jason is quiet for a long time after she finishes speaking. Her heart hammers uncomfortably in her throat and she’s afraid that she just drove him away. He probably sees the fifty shades of crazy she is and doesn’t want a part of that—who would want this? A BMW stealing girl who got sent to court for wanting attention? Someone who is pushing away a perfectly good person just because her dad wasn’t around? If he wants to run for the hills, she wouldn’t be able to blame him.

“My mom’s name was Beryl,” Jason says softly. “She was an actress. Hollywood’s starlet. Attracted Zeus himself not once, but twice. And when he left, she lost it. Drowned herself in every bottle she could get her hands on. I don’t remember this, but Thalia says she raised me. She was a kid and making my bottles and changing my diapers. I wouldn’t want anyone to be raised the way I was, but then to make matters worse, my mom abandoned me in the forest? She left a two-year-old in the forest with a wolf goddess to fend for himself. I didn’t even know any of this until a few weeks ago. I… I didn’t even know my mom broke my heart until recently, and I’m so angry about it.”

Piper’s chest tightens. “Jason, I’m so sorry.”

“No. I’m sorry. I’m so upset and I don’t even remember this woman. You know your dad. Your dad has recently hurt you, Pipes. You have a right to be upset. You have a right to be afraid of me. I don’t think I get that right because I hardly even know who I am.”

“I don’t accept that,” Piper argues. “You can be upset over something you don’t remember. Your mom changed your whole life. She forced you away from your sister. I’d be angry, too. I’d be furious. You’re allowed to be furious and you’re allowed to be afraid of me, too.”

Jason’s eyes are frustratingly soft when he whispers, “But I’m not afraid.”

“How?” Piper murmurs. She leans in even closer and when she does so, Jason raises one hand to cup her cheek. “How are you not terrified that I’m going to break your heart like your mom broke yours?”

“Pipes, even if you did break my heart, I’m sure I’d deserve it,” Jason says. “I was a baby then. My mom was a drunk. What she did… It wasn’t okay. That was neglect. I look at you and I’m not scared. I trust you with every cell in my body. You… you trusted me when I was just an illusion. You kept trusting me when you found out I was a Roman. You keep trusting me. You trust that I’m going to lead us to defeat Gaea and keep us alive. How could someone like you be someone I’m scared of?”

Piper’s heart skips a beat and she stares at him, a lump forming in her throat. “We might die.”

“You’re right, we might.”

“Gaea… she’s capable of killing us.”

“Yep. She is.”

“Aren’t you terrified?”

Without skipping a beat, Jason nods. “I am. But I look at you and it doesn’t seem so scary.”

It’s like falling all over again. She stares into his deep blue eyes and it’s a slow tug, a warm feeling pooling in her stomach, and she’s back at the Grand Canyon; he saved her from a death fall. He’s holding her upright, keeping her from hitting the ground. This boy in front of her is not her father. Even if he wanted to, she’s convinced he couldn’t break her heart. He could try and he’d never intentionally hurt her.

When Piper leans in, Jason meets her halfway. She kisses him softly, his warm hand cupping her cheek and his fingers burying themselves in her hair. His lips taste like strawberries and he smells of Old Spice. She melts against his lips and pulls him closer. He complies, both of his hands on her cheeks, soft and warm and comforting.

By the time they pull away, Jason’s cheeks are red and Piper’s breathless. He presses her forehead to hers and for a moment, they just look at each other.

“Next time you feel this way, can you please tell me?” Jason murmurs. “I’m pretty dumb and I can’t read your mind, even though I wish I could. I know years of abandonment aren’t going to be healed by a talk with me, but I want to help. I want you to know I’m here and I’m not going to leave you, Pipes.”

Piper feels her lips curl up in a tiny smile. “Thank you. You handled my crazy and that’s something I never asked you to do.”

“You’re not crazy, but you’re welcome.” Jason kisses her forehead. “Waking up on that bus… I felt so alone. I didn’t know who I was, and I’m still learning. But you… took control of my fears and you made me less afraid. You make me feel like me if who I am is the person I was before I woke up.”

“I don’t know who that person is either, but if you’re anything like who you used to be, I know I trust you,” Piper whispers. She pulls him in for another soft kiss. “I know you’re probably busy, but I haven’t eaten all day so I am starving. Can we head to lunch before going to Bunker Nine?”

Jason smiles and nods. “Anything for you.” He stands up and offers her his hand, which she takes. “Maybe we can take some strawberries before lunch. Sound like a plan?”

Beaming, Piper presses herself against his side. “You read my mind. Let’s go.”

And as they step out into the daylight, Piper can’t help but admire how the sun makes everything golden.

[inkyardpress]

Celebrate Your Pride with 10 Great Queer Reads

Happy Pride! This month, we’re celebrating the LGBTQIAP+ community with the one thing we just can’t stop talking about: books, books and more books! There are lots of amazing novels out there repping queer voices, telling unique and impactful stories, and filing up bookshelves around the world. These are just a few of our favorite outstanding stories. What are you reading this month?

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens throughout the Ages edited by Saundra Mitchell 

Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. 

From a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood set in war-torn 1870s Mexico featuring a transgender soldier, to two girls falling in love while mourning the death of Kurt Cobain, forbidden love in a sixteenth-century Spanish convent or an asexual girl discovering her identity amid the 1970s roller-disco scene, All Out tells a diverse range of stories across cultures, time periods and identities, shedding light on an area of history often ignored or forgotten. 

Featuring stories from: Dahlia Adler, Sara Farizan, Tess Sharpe, Shaun David Hutchinson, Kody Keplinger, Mackenzi Lee, Malinda Lo, Nilah Magruder, Anna-Marie McLemore, Tehlor Kay Mejia, Natalie C. Parker, Alex Sanchez, Kate Scelsa, Robin Talley, Scott Tracey and Elliot Wake. 

All Out is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley 

Fifteen-year-old Aki Simon has a theory. And it’s mostly about sex. 

No, it isn’t that kind of theory. Aki already knows she’s bisexual—even if, until now, it’s mostly been in the hypothetical sense. Aki has dated only guys so far, and her best friend, Lori, is the only person who knows she likes girls, too. 

Actually, Aki’s theory is that she’s got only one shot at living an interesting life—and that means she’s got to stop sitting around and thinking so much. It’s time for her to actually do something. Or at least try. 

So when Aki and Lori set off on a church youth-group trip to a small Mexican town for the summer and Aki meets Christa—slightly older, far more experienced—it seems her theory is prime for the testing. 

But it’s not going to be easy. For one thing, how exactly do two girls have sex, anyway? And more important, how can you tell if you’re in love? It’s going to be a summer of testing theories—and the result may just be love. 

Our Own Private Universe is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

The Sidekicks by Will Kostakis 

Ryan, Harley and Miles are very different people—the swimmer, the rebel and the nerd. All they’ve ever had in common is Isaac, their shared best friend. 

When Isaac dies unexpectedly, the three boys must come to terms with their grief and the impact Isaac had on each of their lives. In his absence, Ryan, Harley and Miles discover things about one another they never saw before, and realize there may be more tying them together than just Isaac. 

In this intricately woven story told in three parts, award-winning Australian author Will Kostakis makes his American debut with a heartwarming, masterfully written novel about grief, self-discovery and the connections that tie us all together. The Sidekicks is out now. 

Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Runebinder by Alex R. Kahler 

When magic returned to the world, it could have saved humanity, but greed and thirst for power caused mankind's downfall instead. Now once-human monsters called Howls prowl abandoned streets, their hunger guided by corrupt necromancers and the all-powerful Kin. Only Hunters have the power to fight back in the unending war, using the same magic that ended civilization in the first place. 

But they are losing. 

Tenn is a Hunter, resigned to fight even though hope is nearly lost. When he is singled out by a seductive Kin named Tomás and the enigmatic Hunter Jarrett, Tenn realizes he’s become a pawn in a bigger game. One that could turn the tides of war. But if his mutinous magic and wayward heart get in the way, his power might not be used in favor of mankind. 

If Tenn fails to play his part, it could cost him his friends, his life…and the entire world. 

The action-packed follow up, Runebreaker, hits shelves November 27th, 2018. 

Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

What We Left Behind by Robin Talley 

Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They're deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid. 

The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected. Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, but Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. 

While Toni worries that Gretchen won't understand Toni’s new world, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in this puzzle. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together? 

What We Left Behind is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Toil & Trouble: 15 Tales of Women & Witchcraft edited by Jessica Spotswood and Tess Sharpe 

History is filled with stories of women accused of witchcraft, of fearsome girls with arcane knowledge. Toil & Trouble features fifteen stories of girls embracing their power, reclaiming their destinies and using their magic to create, to curse, to cure—and to kill. 

A young witch uses social media to connect with her astrology clients—and with a NASA-loving girl as cute as she is skeptical. A priestess of death investigates a ritualized murder. A bruja who cures lovesickness might need the remedy herself when she falls in love with an altar boy. A theater production is turned upside down by a visiting churel. In Reconstruction-era Texas, a water witch uses her magic to survive the soldiers who have invaded her desert oasis. And in the near future, a group of girls accused of witchcraft must find their collective power in order to destroy their captors. 

This collection reveals a universal truth: there’s nothing more powerful than a teenage girl who believes in herself. 

Toil & Trouble hits shelves August 28th, 2018. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

The Diminished by Kaitlyn Sage Patterson 

 In the Alskad Empire, nearly all are born with a twin, two halves to form one whole…yet some face the world alone.

The singleborn: 

A rare few are singleborn in each generation, and therefore given the right to rule by the gods and goddesses. Bo Trousillion is one of these few, born into the royal line and destined to rule. Though he has been chosen to succeed his great-aunt, Queen Runa, as the leader of the Alskad Empire, Bo has never felt equal to the grand future before him. 

The diminished: 

When one twin dies, the other usually follows, unable to face the world without their other half. Those who survive are considered diminished, doomed to succumb to the violent grief that inevitably destroys everyone whose twin has died. Such is the fate of Vi Abernathy, whose twin sister died in infancy. Raised by the anchorites of the temple after her family cast her off, Vi has spent her whole life scheming for a way to escape and live out what’s left of her life in peace. 

As their sixteenth birthdays approach, Bo and Vi face very different futures—one a life of luxury as the heir to the throne, the other years of backbreaking work as a temple servant. But a long-held secret and the fate of the empire are destined to bring them together in a way they never could have imagined. 

The Diminished is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley 

In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever. 

Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily. 

Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town’s most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept “separate but equal.” 

Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another. 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody 

Enne Salta was raised as a proper young lady, and no lady would willingly visit New Reynes, the so-called City of Sin. But when her mother goes missing, Enne must leave her finishing school—and her reputation—behind to follow her mother’s trail to the city where no one survives uncorrupted. 

Frightened and alone, Enne has only one lead: the name Levi Glaisyer. Unfortunately, Levi is not the gentleman she expected—he’s a street lord and con man. Levi is also only one payment away from cleaning up a rapidly unraveling investment scam, so he doesn't have time to investigate a woman leading a dangerous double life. Enne's offer of compensation, however, could be the solution to all his problems. 

Their search for clues leads them through glamorous casinos, illicit cabarets and into the clutches of a ruthless Mafia donna. As Enne unearths an impossible secret about her past, Levi's enemies catch up to them, ensnaring him in a vicious execution game where the players always lose. To save him, Enne will need to surrender herself to the city… And she’ll need to play. 

Ace of Shades is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Pulp by Robin Talley 

As if we couldn’t pack any more of Robin Talley’s fantastic works into this list, we have one more than needs to be on your radar. Keep an eye out for Pulp in November 2018! 

In 1955, eighteen-year-old Janet Jones keeps the love she shares with her best friend Marie a secret, but when she discovers a series of books about women falling in love with other women, it awakens something in her. As she juggles her hidden romance with a newfound ambition to write her own story, she risks exposing herself—and Marie—to a danger all too real. 

Sixty-two years later, Abby Zimet can’t stop thinking about her senior project and its subject—classic 1950s lesbian pulp fiction. The stresses of her life fall away when she's reading her favorite book. She feels especially connected to one author, a woman who wrote under the pseudonym “Marian Love,” and becomes determined to track down her true identity. 

Pulp hits shelves November 13th, 2018. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

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[blindestspot]

"Aegon, his is the song of ice and fire"

I've come to realize that it is a cop-out to say that bad writing is impossible to analyze and predict. Because for all writing you can ask the question "why it was written this way?" A bad execution doesn't erase the intention behind it.

Of course, Game of Thrones is an adaptation, so one cannot look at D&D and GRRM's writing as ultimately separate things. D&D might take a few detours but you cannot solely use their writing to predict the ending because their ending is supposed be GRRM's ending. But I think looking at those detours and why these detours exists, allows us a glimpse at that ending.

And this is why I want to talk about GRRM's writing first, more specifically how he accomplishes the appearance of a realistic narrative/plot. Obviously world-building and realistic, psychologically sound characterization play a role. But he also uses a trick in order for the plot to appear more realistic than it is. This trick is a combination of two things: the cast of "thousands", in which is a large amount of characters are well-rounded, three-dimensional, are given full backstories and appear to be important to the main narrative; and the random appearance of luck.

The cast of thousands is a hyperbole but GRRM keeps a very large cast and if he loses important cast members, he is quick to replace them with other characters that also look like they will play an important part of the endgame. Aegon from Essos, Arianne, Val, the Greyjoy Uncles, to name a few, come into the story after important characters like Robb, Tywin and Balon disappear from it.

The “random luck” part is that luck for any character doesn't appear to align itself with the character's moral orientation. Good people have both good and bad luck and bad people have good and bad luck as well. This allows the bad guys to even get ahead temporarily, since they're more ruthless in using their good luck. It's a pattern that culminates in the Red Wedding when the good guys take a huge blow and the bad guys win, fostering the Wikipedia-approved impression that the whole ASOIAF-verse is very "grimdark".

But from there on narrative karma begins to catch up with the more villainous characters, with luck deserting them. And then they are dropping like flies: Joffrey, Tywin, Lysa Arryn, Janos Slynt... Going by the spoiler that are the deaths on GOT (which imply that these dead characters will never win/come out on top in the books and are also very likely to end up dead there)... narrative karma will come for many other bad guys as well. In fact, going by the show, only latecomer and Joffrey/Ramsay replacement Euron Greyjoy stands any chance to pull the "villain gets away with it" trope since Cersei, the Night King, Melisandre and Varys are pretty much doomed and no other important villain is left. (And the latter two are even rather morally gray than outright villains.)

No wonder people start to speculate whether a good guy will become corrupted and evil with this shortest of shortlists of leftover karma-evading villains.

Luck works a bit differently for good guys. It doesn't protect some of them but it protects a few of them quite considerably. I believe the fandom term is "plot armor" which a few characters have to the point that the readers have stopped believing in cliffhangers that put their survival in question. They are just "too important" to die. And that's why after ADWD most people speculated about the nature of Jon's stab wounds or the nature of his inevitable resurrection rather than wondering whether Aegon from Essos would take over his narrative.

They were not fooled because GRRM's trick has an expiration date. People catch on, no matter how many "important" characters he adds and how much "bad but survivable" luck his important characters get. Jon is supposed to appear to have the bad luck to get stabbed to death, but in reality we all know that he will have the good luck to be resurrected.

D&D have mostly (but not entirely) abandoned GRRM's trick. Now this is in part because they're farther ahead in the story but it's far from being the only reason.

There are actually multiple reasons to deviate from the books, so I’ll mention the obvious first: time, budget and effort. If GOT wanted to do all these extra storylines/characters that we know amount to nothing important in the end, they would need more seasons, more actors, more time, more money. It is understandable that they might consider that to be a pointless waste of time.

Another reason is that change can snowball, requiring more change. A small change early on and suddenly original storylines do not work quite as they should. Take the Jeyne Westerling storyline, for example. In the books Robb is sixteen and she is his first girlfriend, to use modern terms. Of course, when given the choice between dishonoring a betrothal to an ugly Frey girl or dishonoring his first serious girlfriend, the choice of a teenager is quite obvious.

In the show Robb is ten years older and re-enacting this storyline doesn't really work. He is not a green, dumb teenager, he is an adult man and should know better. It would play out pretty badly on screen and would be terribly strange, dumb and hypocritical for the character to do. It is pretty apparent that Talisa is the attempt to make him look less like an idiot and to prop him up with a great romance instead. D&D turned Jeyne Westerling into this hot, compassionate, witty, intelligent Doctors Without Borders volunteer, the sort of woman that in the real world would be worth losing your head for. (They actually only changed the name to Talisa because GRRM insisted. So yes, "Talisa" was their way of overhauling teenager-appropriate love interest Jeyne.) Talisa didn't quite work out for a lot of the audience but that's besides the point. We are asking why she was there, not why she didn't work.

A similar thing goes on with Shae and her relationship with Tyrion. In the books, despite seeing her pretty much only from Tyrion's point of view, we know she is only with him for the money, she is a selfish person and Tyrion is abusive towards her. So he makes a bad decision for being with a selfish person like that, an idiot for deluding himself about why she is with him and an abusive douchebag on top of that.

In the show, Shae cares about other people besides herself, falls in love with Tyrion and he doesn't abuse her when they are in a relationship. This not only makes him smarter than his book counterpart for choosing to be with secretly kind-hearted Shae and an actual nice guy for not being an abusive jerk. It actually elevates and makes him look awesome for making this cynical woman fall for him with his wit and charm. It's a total white-wash for Tyrion.

But then it's also just another white-wash for Tyrion in a long line of white-washes. As I said, once you make a change  you have to commit to the change. And once D&D decided to make Tyrion the focal point for marketing, promo and everything else for three seasons after they lost Sean Bean, they needed to change book Tyrion in order for him to be a palatable and relatable character. Being a dumb, deluded, abusive douchebag was no longer something he could be. And so a character like Shae was good enough to be used as a prop for that change – to the point of entirely disregarding her original characterization.

Of course that white-washing also encompasses the third reason for abandoning a book plot: sacrificing some plot logic in service of propping up characters. That Shae used to be in love with Tyrion makes her presence in Tywin's bed and her murder kind of way more random than it is in the books. And yet it is just one more of  the many, many plot holes that are created to cater to character. That's why Cersei is the popular ruler of Kings Landing in Season Seven despite blowing up the Westerosi Vatican and pope. (Of course, it helps that she has taken over Aegon from Essos' plot and that Lena Headey can chew scenery like nobody’s business. Sacrificing a bit of story logic to replace Aegon from Essos with Lena Headey playing someone really smart named Cersei is probably the most win-win alteration of the books that D&D have ever congratulated themselves on.)

Sacrificing plot logic for character is also why Arya can give the most fearsome death cult in the world the middle finger without consequence when she finally decides to go back to Westeros. The important part of it is that Arya moves on, becomes Arya Stark again. The show cannot be bothered with the realistic minutiae of that decision, what would be required to be able to leave  the most fearsome death cult in the world. They don't care, they don't want to get bogged down with it, they wave it off.

And then there is the fourth reason, the one that admittedly fueled D&D's desire to adapt ASOIAF in the first place: the "Oh shit" moment. I used to think of them as water cooler moments, but that's too broad and too narrow. D&D love spectacle and they love surprise moments and both can be "Oh shit" moments but an "Oh shit" moment doesn't need to be that. It's just the moment when a storyline resolves itself with the maximum emotional impact.

It allows their actors to chew maximum amount of scenery (and D&D love it when they do that) and gives GOT emotional weight to make it feel more real, more emotionally involving. Perhaps so emotionally involving that you don't notice the plot holes. (That's a fine strategy, by the way, if you’re good enough to pull it off. Because if your audience weeps properly at the end of Romeo and Juliet, they will never notice how unlikely it was for both characters to get to that place where they would be able to commit suicide in that crypt. A great emotional response can absolutely drown out rational plot analysis.)

Anyway, “Oh shit" moments are not just surprises and high-budget spectacles like the Red Wedding or Cersei blowing up the Sept. They can also be intimate, predictable moments that you saw coming from a mile way, like the scene of Sansa feeding Ramsay to his dogs. This is not only the unsurprising culmination of the Battle of the Bastards episode but also the unsurprising culmination of Sansa's entire Ramsay storyline. They spend nearly two seasons of Sansa's storyline on that moment, for that moment.

So what do these reasons for adaptational changes tell us about the future of GOT?

Well, there is one "Oh shit" moment that they've been working on since the pilot. It has become the sole reason why certain characters have anything to do anymore, why other characters are even featured on the show; it's so important that it's teased in completely unrelated contexts and storylines for ages.

To word it differently: You do know where the focus and the narrative weight lies when you get a single flashback to the creation of the White Walkers while every other flashback is about Lyanna Stark and her baby. Because somewhere at the end of those trail of breadcrumbs, flashbacks, foreshadowing and hints is an "Oh shit" moment  that is very, very important to D&D.

Jon's parentage reveal is the most teased about moment of the entire show. There is nothing that comes close to it. It stands to reason that it will be the emotional climax of the show, possibly even outshining the ending.

Now this is going to be a painful moment for Jon. Even GRRM's version of it will not have Jon jumping in joy about the fact that his entire life is based on a lie. There is nothing to suggest that show Jon will feel differently. So if D&D want maximum emotional impact, they need to tighten the screws, they need to make that reveal worse for Jon.

I concur that the obvious way to make it worse is to isolate Jon before, during and after the reveal, to divorce him from all that he holds dear – to divorce him from the North, from his previous supporters, from his family, from his best friend and from his girlfriend. Now obviously, not all of them are going to be upset about the same thing. This is why it becomes quite obvious that D&D used Season Seven to set up a situation in which everyone will be pissed off at him. And this, by the way, perfectly explains why Dany burned the Tarlys, the necessity of Jon/Dany and Jon publicly kneeling in Season Seven. It turns out that it doesn't matter why Jon (and Dany) did these things – if Jon is an honorable fool, a fool in love or someone who figured out that keeping the lady with the dragons happy beats trying to convince untrustworthy Cersei. (Or if Dany is becoming her father.) D&D had him do it (had Dany do it), so the North will hear about him giving up their independence to a “foreign whore” who loves to burn people and hate him for it, and that Sam will be pissed at him for hooking up with his family's killer, and that Dany can feel properly betrayed, thinking her boyfriend only wanted her to usurp her throne. This whole thing is not about the integrity of Jon's character or the integrity of his characterization, or about anyone’s integrity or integrity of their characterization and plot. It's about making Jon’s parentage reveal go as badly as possible for him. It's about creating the ultimate "Oh shit" moment of pain. Nothing matters beyond that, everything is a prop for it. A Watsonian reading of Jon’s motives is as pointless as the theory that Talisa Maegyr was a Lannister spy.

Yes, it’s bad writing to disregard plot and characterization integrity for the emotional impact of an “Oh shit” moment. No one’s denying that. But it’s exactly the type of bad writing that has been with us all this time. If we take bad writing as seriously as good writing, then using previous writing tactics to come to the conclusion that more typical bad writing is awaiting us, is a perfectly legitimate conclusion.

Of course, this begs the question of why D&D  put so much weight on that one moment? Why haven't we got so much foreshadowing and preparation for the moment when Dany plants her behind on the Iron Throne or Jaime strangles Cersei? Or even for the moment the Night King gets defeated? Why is there nothing else that comes even close to the amount of prep that Jon's parentage reveal gets? And why is this, his moment allowed to turn every other character into a prop for his emotional reaction? Why does he matter so much? And is this just D&D fucking up GRRM's vision yet once more?

You know GRRM actually told us the answer to this particular question a long, long time ago in A Clash of Kings: "Aegon, [...] He has a song [...] his is the song of ice and fire." This is the reality that GRRM tries so hard to disguise with his cast of thousands. Jon... Aegon isn't just an important character with plot armor, he is the main character. He is the protagonist. This way too large book series is his song, his story. The Song of Ice and Fire is Jon’s. D&D haven't invented that, they simply refused to conceal it as desperately with Aegons from Essos as GRRM does.

Now, if we assume I am right (which I do), then there are basically two ways that this story can end: either with Jon's death (literal or figurative) or him becoming king. Now the classic self-sacrifice for the greater good is the oldest trope around. This means it always has good odds. But these two options are not necessarily mutually exclusive paths. A figurative death could tie in very well with a kingship and kingship might end up in death. But if we are talking about actual lasting, endgame, Aragon-in-Lord-of-the-Rings kingship, then something really interesting is going on.

GRRM once complained that Lord of the Rings makes Aragorn this ideal, promised king without ever explaining what his ruling looked like. What happened to the baby orcs? What was his tax policy? Now if GRRM plans to have a king in the end who is "Aegon Aragorn with a tax policy" then Jon has gotten some training for that already. He has been Lord Commander in the books and the show and he has been King in the North in the show. Since Robb's will is the unresolved Chekov's Gun that is notably still around, there is some chance that in the books he will become King in the North as well. Both positions allow him plenty of hands-on experience for ruling and allow the reader a pretty good idea about what he will do with the baby orcs and his tax policy should he get in power for a third time. (Third time’s a charm.) So what I see is that he is the only character with a sustainable "tax policy" that could allow Westeros to flourish and a claim. (Nope, "ruling sucks, I am better off conquering" is not a sustainable policy for the long-term betterment of a country.) And he is the protagonist, this is his story, he is good guy, he doesn't want to be king, he is possibly (within the in-universe mythology) the chosen one and he has already died once, making a second death a bit anti-climactic. To be fair though, there are people without claims who would make decent regents for a child with a claim, so the self-sacrificial death isn't off the table. (By the way, the historical precedents for child monarchs in medieval English history, which inspired ASOIAF, are mostly pretty darn depressing.) But for some reason, I keep circling back to something I didn't recall when I first start mulling about this subject. I could remember the "Aegon... his is the song of ice and fire" bit. But I had forgotten how that vision of Rhaegar actually begins: "Aegon," he said to a woman nursing a newborn babe in a great wooden bed. "What better name for a king?"

[thesellamasaintloyal]

In defense of Rey

Alternatively titled, “There’s a shit ton of things wrong with the Star Wars Sequel trilogy but Rey being a so-called Mary Sue isn’t one of them, Jesus Christ guys it’s been four years can we not-“

((This was born thanks to a post which compared The Child aka Baby Yoda’s innate abilities to use the force despite being a literal toddler to Rey’s force abilities despite her ‘lack of training’, and the hypocrisy of the fandom in accepting one at face value and not the other. Obviously, I agreed, but when the fuck boys come out to play so do my twelve paragraphs lol fight me))

———

People love to compare Rey to Luke and Anakin, and claim that she’s a Mary Sue because she naturally awoke to some of her Jedi abilities, such as her ability to fight, fly with expert ease, as well as her innate understanding of the force. What people love to forget is that the circumstances of their lifestyles naturally led to different development rates toward their innate abilities while using the force. I’d like to include Leia in this as well.

On the bottom rung of the “I can use my force powers right off the bat” we have Luke. Luke grew up as a farm boy in middle-of-nowhere Tatooine, who had little to no reason to use any of his force abilities beyond flying, where he developed his famed capacity to be a pilot. He was raised in a relatively safe environment, protected from the war and conflict that was happening throughout much of the galaxy, and his greatest grievances were simply not being allowed to join the rest of his friends at the academy because he had to keep farming. Out of all four characters he had the most ‘normal’ day to day upbringing, and thus many of a Jedi’s abilities were not developed in the slightest- meaning he had the most to train and the most to learn.

Not too far ahead on the rung is Leia. I’d like to examine her as well, because she had a similarly ‘protected’ upbringing as Luke (in some ways even more so, being a princess and all) and thus did not have the chance to develop many of her innate force skills until later in life. However, Leia was not any spoiled princess laying around in riches. Leia was exposed to politics and warfare and the rebel cause her ENTIRE life, watching her (adoptive) parents not only actively participate in the rebel alliance but practically lead it.

She clearly had some training with weapons, knowing enough to be able to handle several firearms throughout the series, and most importantly- she learned strategy, she learned tactical knowledge and leadership skills, she learned patience and focus, self-awareness, and most importantly the ability to think calmly in a desperate situation. The latter of these skills are all absolutely essential to a Jedi and absolutely form part of the training they undergo, which means all she needed to complete her training was the more physical aspect, and which is why historically in the original trilogy she had far more patience and resilience than Luke when things (invariably) went wrong.

Higher up on the rung is Anakin. Anakin was also raised on Tatooine, but his experience of the planet was far different from Luke’s. His Tatooine was a bustling trade center and full of crime- and he was born a slave in these conditions. Exposed to both mechanical knowledge and more hard labor (carrying parts, repairing parts and ships, and so forth) Anakin had the opportunity to build up some more core strength, and his infamous flying abilities (which honed his reflexes) were also given the opportunity to grow thanks to his exposure and participation in pod racing.

For all intents and purposes Anakin is the saga’s Jesus figure, the “one”, canonically conceived by Midichlorians and a singular entity in his strength and potential regarding the force. However, we don’t see his innate fighting abilities as a child because there is simply no reason to within the scope of the storytelling in the films, and no opportunity either. It also makes sense that Anakin would not NEED to worry too much about fighting or defending himself- as a slave he is property, and would not be touched unless the aggressor was ready to pay Watto for his loss of property, or be penalized for “breaking” what was not theirs.

The little we DO understand of Anakin’s personality is that as a slave, he was raised with an understandable self-constraint (in order to perform his duties well and not have himself or his mother punished) which may have also delayed some of his development; once the constraints of a slave were removed, we are shot forward 10 years and we met a nineteen year who is vastly changed and light years ahead in his use of the force and understanding of his own abilities, the same age his children were when coming into contact with the Force.

Obviously, Anakin is the most developed in terms of formal training by this point in time, as Luke, Leia and Rey were only just introduced to the concept of the Force, and had to, as Yoda said, “Unlearn what [they] have learned.” Nevertheless, narratively we are not given much of an opportunity to see his innate force abilities so much as we are told that they are singular and unique- enough to allow him to be trained at what was already considered an ‘old’ age for a Jedi.

Finally, Rey.

Rey is abandoned and orphaned at about the same age as Anakin was when found by Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Unfortunately for her, there was no salvation waiting- we are shown and told that she lived alone, practically enslaved in order to survive. This is a girl who learns to climb massive wrecks of spaceships and learns to not only identify the various complicated components but how to take them apart, clean them, repair them, and reassemble them- because doing so means a better meal and future opportunities to keep eating. This is a girl who is forced to learn how to defend herself, who actively fights for her life- because if she allows others to steal the parts she already risked her life to collect, then she risks starvation. Not to mention the obvious implications of young, attractive woman living by herself in a deserted, practically lawless land. Unlike the other three- Luke, Leía, and Anakin- Rey had no protections and no guarantees when it came to her safety, and thus had to learn to fight and defend herself; honing those natural force abilities from an early age in order to keep herself safe.

Furthermore, Rey is isolated. We see that she has no viable “friends” on Jakku, and keeps a pleasant but safe distance from others. That sort of solitude invites introspection- which can only help train the meditative aspects that form part of that famed Jedi calmness and mindfulness. I don’t find it hard to believe whatsoever that Rey may have been able to identify something within herself that was ‘different’ - just as Anakin, Leia, and Luke all claimed to have understood at various parts of their respective journeys.

What is also but briefly seen and not explored in the films, but IS explained in the supplementary novels is that Rey possessed an old flight simulator, as shown here:

“She’d jury-rigged a computer using pieces scavenged from several crashed fighters over the years, including a cracked but still-usable display from an old BTL-A4 Y-wing. There were no radio communications to speak of—no way to transmit or receive and, frankly, nobody she wanted to talk to anyway. On the wreckage of a Zephra-series hauler, though, she’d once found a stash of data chips, and after painstakingly going through each and every one of them, she’d discovered three with their programs intact; one of them, to her delight, had been a flight simulator.

So when she wasn’t sleeping or just sitting and listening to the storm or tinkering at her workbench, she flew. It was a good program, or at least she imagined it was. She could select any number of ships to fly, from small repulsor-driven atmospheric craft to a wide variety of fighters, all the way up to an array of stock freighters. She could set destinations, worlds she’d never visited and never imagined she would, and scenarios, from speed runs to obsta“cle courses to system failures.

At first, she’d been truly horrible at it, quite literally crashing a few seconds after takeoff every time. With nothing else to do, and with a perverse sense of determination that she would not allow herself to be beaten by a machine that she herself had put together with her own hands, she learned. She learned so much that there was little the program could throw her way that would challenge her now. She’d gotten to the point where she would, quite deliberately, do everything she could think of to make things hard on herself, just to see if she could get out of it. Full-throttle atmospheric reentry with repulsor-engine failure? No sweat. Multiple hull breach deep-space engine flameout? A walk in the park.”

Far beyond a nine year old instinctively knowing how to pilot a Jet Engine Chariot AND a space fighter (I’m looking at you, Anakin), we see that Rey has indeed received some training in flying, and that she has been diligently training all her youth to be as damn good as she is when we finally catch up to her in TFA. This, in addition to her fighting skills honed from a need to survive, and a meditative self-awareness from growing up practically isolated, means that Rey is uniquely prepared in a way not unlike the younglings were prepared to fully embrace and use her force abilities- once she becomes aware of what they actually are.

Rey is not a Mary Sue. Her abilities did not come out of the blue, but were honed during her entire childhood in order to survive in the ruthless circumstances in which she found herself. Her skills at fighting, flying, and understanding of the force all have a precedent- and once the final piece of the puzzle in the form of recognition that what she’s felt her whole life is The Force, combined with the legacy and legend that comes from knowing the exploits of Luke, Leia and Han, then there is no reason to doubt why she takes to it so naturally. Ultimately, We know that the force not only enhances abilities, but guides their users in how to access them and use them.

[archerrvdz316-blog]

Use Western Pest Control To Help With Ants And Mosquitoes

"Everypest control service provider should understand one unique word that perfectly explains city pests: synanthrope. A synanthropic types is one that previously lived in a wild environment today thrives in city locations. Unlike the huge bulk of animal types, synanthropic animals actually take advantage of human-made environments.

The following is a take a look at why urban pests such as raccoons, mice, rats and pigeons prosper in our cities. It likewise recommends Integrated Insect Management (IPM) as an efficient method of managing the city pest populations around your house. All animals (consisting of humans) need food, shelter and water to survive. Our cities offer these bare needs, along with a few more helpful circumstances for synanthropes, as explained below.

Couple of or No Predators.

Urban bugs delight in a substantial advantage over their nation cousins: There are practically no predators in city environments. Peregrine falcons are among the few predators that actually thrive in cities; researchers think peregrine falcons become more nighttime in cities, where they utilize streetlights to stalk their prey.

One would think that people might be thought about major predators for these bugs, however some cities really prosecute killers of raccoons and other synanthropes for animal abuse. For example, last month a Toronto local was arrested and charged with animal cruelty for striking an infant raccoon in his back backyard with a shovel. (Insect control business can generally rid your house of metropolitan bugs without you needing to stress over being prosecuted for animal ruthlessness.) Even with shovel-wielding human beings about, city insects can breed more freely than they would in the wild.

Plenty of Food.

Your trash is a synanthrope's treasure. Although you might think Carrie Brownstein's efficiency on ""Portlandia"" makes her the queen of dumpster scuba divers, metropolitan insects have her beat. A number of them make it through on human refuse 365 days a year. Some metropolitan insects, such as pigeons, even receive handouts from people. In basic, metropolitan insects don't need to work extremely tough to have their food requirements fulfilled in huge cities.

Insect control professionals who practice Integrated Insect Management understand how various pest types consume; they can use this knowledge to help you eliminate pesky pigeons, rodents and insects.

Excellent Shelter.

Think your home is relaxing, comfortable and captivating? Urban pests agree. Numerous synanthropes utilize buildings for shelter - some are even totally dependent on human construction for nesting premises. Gulls see tall buildings as cliff-sided islands. Pigeons can roost on narrow racks on the sides of buildings, or in storm drains pipes. Home sparrows are professionals at building homes under roofing system eaves. Human building offers city bugs plenty of places to raise their young.

Integrated Pest Management professionals understand insects' shelter needs; pest control service companies who utilize IPM practices can inform you how to change your home to make it less attractive for nesting metropolitan bugs.

Huge Brains.

Biologists have actually discovered that much of the types that are successful in urban environments have big brains. Larger brains allow these animals to quickly adjust to the scenarios they find in the city. Some property owners even wonder if their anti-pest measures are causing raccoons and other city insects to get smarter about things like how to burglarize trash cans. Much of these big-brained animals succeed in the city since they are generalists. Coyotes, for instance, can make it through in a wide array of environments since they are able to alter their behavior according to what they find in cities.

Insect control experts ought to comprehend the insects they handle from the within out. Your pest control service associate must even be able to ""believe"" like a rat or a mouse, for example, in order to identify places where these rodents could enter your home.

Synanthropic Adjustments.

Some animals simply got lucky in the evolutionary draw and naturally have qualities that prepare them for city life. For example, pigeons originate from the deserts of the Middle East. Their feet are perfectly adapted for walking on hot desert sand - and for strolling hot city streets.

Other animals have actually changed their habits to benefit from the city environment. For circumstances, more and more Canadian geese are learning that they save energy for breeding by remaining at golf courses and city parks year-round, instead of moving with the seasons.

Upon very first seeing a raccoon or opossum in the city, one's response may be delight at having a wild animal in such close distance. However, it's best to rid your home of synanthropes, no matter how charming they may initially seem. Urban insects can carry nasty diseases like rabies and even the pester. Moreover, urban bugs can trigger long-term damage to a house if they find a method into your attic, crawl area or basement. Lastly, some of these bugs are so irritating that it's nearly impossible to deal with them. (Bed bugs come to mind).

If you see urban pests around your house, it's finest to seek assistance from a pest control company. Pest control service specialists can use an earth-friendly Integrated Bug Management method to eliminate raccoons, sparrows, bed bugs and other urban bugs without utilizing harmful chemicals that might harm your family or animals."

[sethrcxo154-blog]

Pest Control: 3 Common Ways Bed Bugs Can Gain Access Into Your Home and How To Prevent Them

"Everypest control company need to understand one unique word that completely explains city bugs: synanthrope. A synanthropic types is one that previously resided in a wild environment but now prospers in city areas. Unlike the vast bulk of animal species, synanthropic animals really gain from human-made environments.

The following is a look at why metropolitan insects such as raccoons, mice, rats and pigeons thrive in our cities. It also suggests Integrated Bug Management (IPM) as an efficient technique of controlling the urban bug populations around your home. All animals (consisting of human beings) require food, shelter and water to survive. Our cities offer these bare requirements, in addition to a few more useful circumstances for synanthropes, as described below.

Couple of or No Predators.

Urban insects delight in a big advantage over their country cousins: There are almost no predators in city environments. Peregrine falcons are among the couple of predators that really flourish in cities; scientists think peregrine falcons become more nocturnal in cities, where they use streetlights to stalk their victim.

One would believe that humans might be considered major predators for these pests, however some cities really prosecute killers of raccoons and other synanthropes for animal abuse. For instance, last month a Toronto citizen was arrested and charged with animal ruthlessness for hitting a baby raccoon in his backyard with a shovel. (Bug control business can usually rid your home of city insects without you having to worry about being prosecuted for animal ruthlessness.) Even with shovel-wielding human beings about, metropolitan bugs can reproduce more freely than they would in the wild.

Plenty of Food.

Your garbage is a synanthrope's treasure. Although you might think Carrie Brownstein's performance on ""Portlandia"" makes her the queen of dumpster divers, urban insects have her beat. Much of them survive on human refuse 365 days a year. Some metropolitan pests, such as pigeons, even receive handouts from human beings. In general, metropolitan pests do not need to work really difficult to have their food requirements fulfilled in huge cities.

Pest control specialists who practice Integrated Bug Management comprehend how different pest species consume; they can use this understanding to assist you eliminate pesky pigeons, rodents and bugs.

Exceptional Shelter.

Believe your home is comfortable, comfortable and lovely? Urban insects concur. Many synanthropes use buildings for shelter - some are even completely reliant on human building for nesting grounds. Gulls see high structures as cliff-sided islands. Pigeons can roost on narrow racks on the sides of structures, or in storm drains. Home sparrows are experts at developing homes under roof eaves. Human construction offers city insects lots of locations to raise their young.

Integrated Pest Management specialists comprehend insects' shelter needs; insect control provider who utilize IPM practices can tell you how to modify your home to make it less appealing for nesting city insects.

Huge Brains.

Biologists have actually seen that numerous of the types that succeed in city environments have big brains. Larger brains enable these animals to rapidly adapt to the circumstances they find in the city. Some property owners even wonder if their anti-pest procedures are causing raccoons and other city insects to get smarter about things like how to get into garbage cans. Much of these big-brained animals succeed in the city due to the fact that they are generalists. Coyotes, for example, can survive in a variety of environments because they are able to alter their habits according to what they find in cities.

Bug control professionals should understand the pests they handle from the within out. Your bug control service rep ought to even have the ability to ""believe"" like a rat or a mouse, for example, in order to identify places where these rodents could enter your house.

Synanthropic Adjustments.

Some animals just got lucky in the evolutionary draw and naturally have attributes that prepare them for city life. For example, pigeons originate from the deserts of the Middle East. Their feet are completely adapted for strolling on hot desert sand - and for strolling hot city streets.

Other animals have altered their behavior to take benefit of the metropolitan environment. For example, increasingly more Canadian geese are discovering that they save energy for breeding by staying at golf courses and city parks year-round, instead of migrating with the seasons.

Upon very first seeing a raccoon or opossum in the city, one's response may be delight at having a wild animal in such close distance. Nevertheless, it's finest to rid your residential or commercial property of synanthropes, no matter how cute they might initially seem. Urban bugs can bring nasty diseases like rabies or perhaps the pester. In addition, metropolitan insects can cause long-term damage to a home if they discover a way into your attic, crawl area or basement. Lastly, a few of these insects are so irritating that it's almost impossible to cope with them. (Bed bugs enter your mind).

If you see metropolitan bugs around your home, it's finest to seek aid from a pest control business. Insect control service experts can utilize an earth-friendly Integrated Pest Management approach to eliminate raccoons, sparrows, bed bugs and other urban pests without utilizing hazardous chemicals that might hurt your family or animals."

[troyalfo743-blog]

What Is An 'Exempt' Pest Control Product?

"Everypest control provider should know one unique word that perfectly describes city pests: synanthrope. A synanthropic types is one that previously lived in a wild environment now thrives in city areas. Unlike the vast bulk of animal types, synanthropic animals really take advantage of human-made environments.

The following is an appearance at why metropolitan pests such as raccoons, mice, rats and pigeons flourish in our cities. It likewise suggests Integrated Bug Management (IPM) as an efficient technique of managing the city insect populations around your house. All animals (consisting of human beings) need food, shelter and water to survive. Our cities provide these bare needs, in addition to a few more helpful scenarios for synanthropes, as described below.

Couple of or No Predators.

Urban insects delight in a big advantage over their country cousins: There are practically no predators in city environments. Peregrine falcons are one of the couple of predators that actually prosper in cities; researchers think peregrine falcons end up being more nighttime in cities, where they use streetlights to stalk their victim.

One would believe that people could be thought about major predators for these insects, but some cities in fact prosecute killers of raccoons and other synanthropes for animal abuse. For instance, last month a Toronto citizen was jailed and charged with animal ruthlessness for hitting an infant raccoon in his garden with a shovel. (Pest control companies can normally rid your home of city insects without you needing to worry about being prosecuted for animal ruthlessness.) Even with shovel-wielding humans about, metropolitan pests can reproduce more freely than they would in the wild.

A lot of Food.

Your garbage is a synanthrope's treasure. Although you may think Carrie Brownstein's performance on ""Portlandia"" makes her the queen of dumpster scuba divers, metropolitan pests have her beat. Many of them make it through on human refuse 365 days a year. Some metropolitan insects, such as pigeons, even get handouts from human beings. In basic, city bugs do not have to work extremely hard to have their food requirements fulfilled in huge cities.

Pest control specialists who practice Integrated Pest Management comprehend how various pest types consume; they can utilize this knowledge to assist you eliminate pesky pigeons, rodents and insects.

Outstanding Shelter.

Think your house is comfortable, comfy and lovely? Urban pests agree. Lots of synanthropes use buildings for shelter - some are even totally reliant on human building for nesting grounds. Gulls see tall structures as cliff-sided islands. Pigeons can roost on narrow racks on the sides of structures, or in storm drains pipes. House sparrows are specialists at developing houses under roofing eaves. Human building gives metropolitan bugs plenty of places to raise their young.

Integrated Bug Management specialists comprehend pests' shelter requirements; bug control provider who utilize IPM practices can inform you how to change your home to make it less appealing for nesting city insects.

Huge Brains.

Biologists have actually discovered that much of the species that prosper in urban environments have large brains. Larger brains permit these animals to quickly adjust to the situations they find in the city. Some house owners even wonder if their anti-pest procedures are causing raccoons and other city pests to get smarter about things like how to get into trash bin. Many of these big-brained animals be successful in the city because they are generalists. Coyotes, for example, can make it through in a large variety of environments due to the fact that they have the ability to change their habits according to what they find in cities.

Bug control specialists must understand the bugs they deal with from the within out. Your bug control service representative ought to even be able to ""believe"" like a rat or a mouse, for circumstances, in order to spot places where these rodents could enter your home.

Synanthropic Adjustments.

Some animals simply got fortunate in the evolutionary draw and naturally have attributes that prepare them for city life. For instance, pigeons originate from the deserts of the Middle East. Their feet are perfectly adjusted for strolling on hot desert sand - and for strolling hot city streets.

Other animals have actually altered their habits to make the most of the metropolitan environment. For example, increasingly more Canadian geese are learning that they conserve energy for breeding by remaining at golf courses and city parks year-round, rather than moving with the seasons.

Upon very first seeing a raccoon or opossum in the city, one's action might be pleasure at having a wild animal in such close distance. Nevertheless, it's finest to rid your property of synanthropes, no matter how cute they might initially seem. Urban pests can carry nasty diseases like rabies or perhaps the afflict. Moreover, city pests can trigger long-term damage to a home if they find a way into your attic, crawl space or basement. Lastly, a few of these bugs are so irritating that it's nearly difficult to deal with them. (Bed bugs enter your mind).

If you see city insects around your house, it's best to seek help from a bug control company. Insect control service specialists can utilize an earth-friendly Integrated Bug Management technique to get rid of raccoons, sparrows, bed bugs and other city bugs without using poisonous chemicals that may harm your family or pets."

[beneathathousandskies]

Hello!

We’re days away from the start of September and the launch of Self-Published Fantasy month (Website| Twitter), so I thought that I would compile my TBR for the event.  It was hard to narrow down the ones I wanted to include as I have a large backlog of indie fantasy that I want to get too, and I keep adding more to the list, and I am hoping that I will be able to read a few more than the ones mentioned here throughout September but decided to keep them as bonuses and focus on this TBR.

However, in addition to these ten I will also be participating in blog tours for ‘The Skald’s Black Verse’ by Jordan Loyal Short and ‘The Jealousy of Jalice’ by Jesse Nolan Bailey so please keep an eye out for those tours.

  THE TBR

  1) Paternus: Rise of the Gods (The Paternus Trilogy #1)- Dyrk Ashton

  Book Summary:

Even myths have legends. And not all legends are myth.

When a local hospital is attacked by strange and frightening men, Fiona Patterson and Zeke Prisco save a catatonic old man named Peter—and find themselves running for their lives with creatures beyond imagination hounding their every step.

With nowhere else to turn, they seek out Fi’s enigmatic Uncle Edgar. But the more their questions are answered, the more they discover that nothing is what it seems–not Peter, not Edgar, perhaps not even themselves.

The gods and monsters, heroes and villains of lore—they’re real. And now they’ve come out of hiding to hunt their own. In order to survive, Fi and Zeke must join up with powerful allies against an ancient evil that’s been known by many names and feared by all. The final battle of the world’s oldest war has begun.

***** *****

2) Blade’s Edge (Chronicles of Gensokai #1) – Virginia McClain

  Book Summary:

Mishi and Taka live each day of their lives with the shadow of death lurking behind them. The struggle to hide the elemental powers that mark the two girls as Kisōshi separates them from the other orphans, yet forges a deep bond between them.

When Mishi is dragged from the orphanage at the age of eight, the girls are unsure if or when they will find each other again. While their powers grow with each season-cycle, the girls must come to terms with their true selves–Mishi as a warrior, Taka as a healer–as they forge separate paths which lead to the same horrifying discovery.

The Rōjū council’s dark secret is one that it has spent centuries killing to keep, and Mishi and Taka know too much. The two young women have overcome desperate odds in a society where their very existence is a crime, but now that they know the Rōjū’s secret they find themselves fighting for much more than their own survival.

***** ****

3) The Heresy Within (The Ties that Bind #1) – Rob. J. Hayes

  Book Summary:

As any warrior will tell you; even the best swordsman is one bad day away from a corpse. It’s a lesson Blademaster Jezzet Vel’urn isn’t keen to learn. Chased into the Wilds by a vengeful warlord, Jezzet makes it to the free city of Chade. But instead of sanctuary all she finds is more enemies from her past.

Arbiter Thanquil Darkheart is a witch hunter for the Inquisition on a holy crusade to rid the world of heresy. He’s also something else; expendable. When the God Emperor himself gives Thanquil an impossible task, he knows he has no choice but to venture deep into the Wilds to hunt down a fallen Arbiter.

The Black Thorn is a cheat, a thief, a murderer and worse. He’s best known for the killing of several Arbiters and every town in the Wilds has a WANTED poster with his name on it. Thorn knows it’s often best to lie low and let the dust settle, but some jobs pay too well to pass up.

As their fates converge, Jezzet, Thanquil, and the Black Thorn will need to forge an uneasy alliance in order to face their common enemy.

***** *****

4) Song of Shadow (Ballad of Emerald and Iron #1) – Natalya Capello

Book Summary:

They said she was out of her mind. The dark truth will shake the foundations of the fae realm…

Lorelei refuses to believe her wild visions mean she’s insane. But despite her royal sidhe heritage, she’s banished to a remote priory to prevent her causing trouble. So when a priestess of the Elemental Order urges her to join a risky pilgrimage, she flees her prison and sails headlong into danger.

Traveling to an ancient land imbued with volatile magic, she chokes back her disbelief after unearthing evil sorcery that shouldn’t exist. And now that Lorelei holds the forbidden secrets, she fears it’s only a matter of time before the powerful Elphyne Empire silences her permanently. If the fae church’s ruthless assassins don’t hunt her down first…

Can Lorelei expose the sinister conspiracy before darkness falls forever?

Song of Shadow is the captivating first novel in the Ballad of Emerald and Iron epic fantasy series. If you like strong women, potent magic, and non-stop adventure, then you’ll love Natalya Capello’s enthralling tale.

***** *****

5) The Wrack – John Bierce

  Book Summary:

Plague has come to the continent of Teringia.

As the Wrack makes its slow, relentless march southwards, it will humble kings and healers, seers and merchants, priests and warriors. Behind, it leaves only screams and suffering, and before it, spreads only fear.

Lothain, the birthplace of the Wrack, desperately tries to hold itself together as the plague burns across it and its neighbors circle like vultures. The Moonsworn healers would fight the Wrack, but must navigate distrust and violence from the peoples of Teringia. Proud Galicanta readies itself for war, as the Sunsworn Empire watches and waits for the Wrack to bring its rival low.

And the Wrack advances, utterly unconcerned with the plans of men.

***** *****

6) A Wind from the Wilderness (Watchers of Outremer #1) – Suzannah Rowntree

  Book Summary:

Hunted by demons. Lost in time.

Welcome to the First Crusade.

Syria, 636: As heretic invaders circle Jerusalem, young Lukas Bessarion vows to defend his people. Instead, disaster strikes.

His family is ripped apart. His allies are slaughtered. And Lukas is hurled across the centuries to a future where his worst nightmares have come true…

Constantinople, 1097: Ayla may be a heretic beggar, but she knows one thing for sure: nine months from now, she will die. Before then, she must avenge her father’s murder–or risk losing her soul.

Desperate to find their way home, Lukas and Ayla join the seven armies marching east to liberate Jerusalem. If Lukas succeeds in his quest, he’ll undo the invasion and change the course of history.

But only if he survives the war.

Only if his enemies from the past don’t catch him.

And only as long as Ayla never finds out who he really is.

***** *****

7)  Cradle of Sea and Soil – Bernie Anés Paz

  Book Summary:

The Primordial Wound has festered with corruption since the birth of the world. The island tribes have warred against its spawn for just as long—and they are losing.

Burdened by the same spiritual affliction that drove the first Halfborn insane, Colibrí lives in exile with little more than her warrior oaths and her son. But when Colibrí discovers corrupted land hidden away by sorcery, those same oaths drive her to find answers in an effort to protect the very people who fear her.

Narune dreams of earning enough glory to show that he and his mother Colibrí are nothing like the Halfborn that came before them. Becoming a mystic will give him the strength he needs, but first, Narune will need to prove himself worthy in a trial of skill and honor.

Together, Colibrí and Narune must learn to become the champions their people need—and face the curse threatening to scour away their spirits with fury.

***** *****

8) Blood of Heirs (The Coraidic Sagas #1) – Alicia Wanstall-Burke

  Book Summary:

Lidan Tolak is the fiercest of her father’s daughters; more than capable of one day leading her clan. But caught between her warring parents, Lidan’s world begins to unravel when another of her father’s wives falls pregnant. Before she has time to consider the threat of a brother, a bloody swathe is cut through the heart of the clan and Lidan must fight, not only to prove her worth, but simply to survive.

Ranoth Olseta wants nothing more than to be a worthy successor to his father’s throne. When his home is threatened by the aggressive Woaden Empire, Ran becomes his city’s saviour, but powers within him are revealed by the enemy and he is condemned to death. Confused and betrayed, Ran is forced to flee his homeland, vowing to reclaim what he has lost, even if it kills him.

Facing an unknown future, and battling forces both familiar and foreign, can Lidan and Ran overcome the odds threatening to drag them into inescapable darkness?

***** ****

9) Smoke and Stone (City of Sacrifice #1) – Michael R. Fletcher

  Book Summary:

After a cataclysmic war of the gods, the last of humanity huddles in Bastion, a colossal ringed city. Beyond the outermost wall lies endless desert haunted by the souls of all the world’s dead.

Trapped in a rigid caste system, Nuru, a young street sorcerer, lives in the outer ring. She dreams of escape and freedom. When something contacts her from beyond the wall, she risks everything and leaps at the opportunity. Mother Death, a banished god seeking to reclaim her place in Bastion’s patchwork pantheon, has found her way back into the city.

Akachi, born to the wealth and splendour of Bastion’s inner rings, is a priest of Cloud Serpent, Lord of the Hunt. A temple-trained sorcerer, he is tasked with bringing peace to the troublesome outer ring. Drawn into a dark and violent world of assassins, gangs, and street sorcerers, he battles the spreading influence of Mother Death in a desperate attempt to save Bastion.

The gods are once again at war.

***** *****

10) A Sea of Broken Glass (The Lady & The Darkness) – Sonya M. Black

Book Summary:

Secrets have a price.

After enduring weeks of torture and being convicted of witchery, Ris escapes, only to discover the Darkness and the Lady are hunting her. They need the magic that sings within her.

Creator of all, the imprisoned Lady needs Ris, her last vessel, to find the Heart of Creation. The Darkness seeks to corrupt the vessel and retain his hold on the Lady, and with it, the world.

Ris finds help from a pair of Paladins of Light who aid her in cleansing the evil taint from the lands. As her power grows, so do her questions. How can she restore balance to the world and free the Lady? Should the Lady be trusted or is she as much at fault for the evil in the world as the Darkness? With powerful demons War, Ruin, and Plague at her heels, Ris struggles to stay alive as she tries to unravel the secrets hidden within her before it’s too late.

Secrets that may cost Ris her soul even if she does succeed.

**

Let me know if you’ve read any of these, if you plan to read them and any recommendations (because if I put a dent in the tbr, I have to fill it again – that’s the rule).

Rowena

Self-Published Fantasy Month TBR Hello! We're days away from the start of September and the launch of Self-Published Fantasy month (

[thedancemostofall]

I perceive the world in terms of language, as I think any real writer does. From the time I was a kid, even just through reading, I felt that it was like having two lives, like living twice, as some Japanese poet put it. I had the good fortune to have this second infinity, this second universe, inside of me, which I carried around with me. It's like being in love, like having a wonderful secret. It makes the world radiant. I needed something to make things alive.

I try to write every day. To me, ninety-nine percent of the time that means a confrontation with how stupid I am. When this mood comes over me in which I do my best work, I feel a sense of brilliance and ease. I live for these moments, but they are so rare that if I were to only wait for them, I would write two poems a year. I try to work for several hours a day to dredge up and amass material that might be useful when this mood of inspiration comes over me. But I believe it's a terrible mistake to wait for inspiration. I seek it.

And I've sought it in lots of wrong ways – drugs, sexual promiscuity, all kinds of deplorable behavior. I hope that I am changing, but for most of my life, I used any intense experience as a means to inspiration. Sometimes that worked. Usually it just ended up hurting me and other people, of course. I know now that's not really where inspiration comes from. It comes from somewhere else. All I can do is to be ready for it, to orient myself toward it, to wish for it, to desire it, to try to be worthy of it. There's a tremendous humility that's required, a willingness to fail and fail and fail your way into those fleeting periods of genuine inspiration.

Moments of spiritual and religious certainty, moments of creative inspiration, and intense moments of love for another being or for the world – they all have similar emotional coloring, but I think of them as distinct. When I'm in an artistic state of inspiration, I am very ruthless and selfish. I will do absolutely anything to maintain it. I will sacrifice myself and anyone else who happens to be nearby. It reminds me more of the ecstasy of crime in a way, to tell you the truth. It's a problem. One thing it has in common with spiritual states of exultation is that to get to them you must go through long, arid, terrible, painful periods. You have to go through them with the same joy and willingness and availability that you go through the good periods.

From my own experience, looking back now, it is clear to me that everything that gives the appearance of being a fortunate and good and happy experience is its opposite and leads to disaster. And everything that appears to be a disaster and is painful and horrible leads to a state of spiritual awakening. So I am much more able to accept as a good thing these painful periods in which inspiration seems to desert me altogether. That means that it's on its way.

There has to be some overwhelming experience of love, or of something, that the poem chronicles or records. It cannot be the subject of that love. If it's only that, if it's only language, then the poem is not going to survive. Poems that survive are the ones that come out of human beings who have had some experience that needs to be testified to or recorded or given body. They are not just pleasing in themselves. We need to be able to master and explore and mine the nature of language itself, but it's the degree to which the poem is more than that which gives you real art. Some previous, wordless experience is being given a verbal equivalent. This is what I am looking for: poetry that lets the wordless original experience shine through the words.

http://poems.com/special_features/prose/essay_wright.php