#we should not work together
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i hate group work i hate group work i hate group work i hate group work i am 23 i should not have to do group work anymore this is awful please ughhhhh
#it's not even started yet we're just at the stage of choosing groups#but like#there is the one person that i've already seen how they work#(i.e. they don't)#and they asked to be in my group#and low key#if we want to stay friendly#we should not work together#like lowkey they've already been like i don't want to say leeching off me but like#they never go to any of the classes#ask me for all my notes#they can't even bother to check the online portal to see the readings or the slides or if there are any assignments#and i'm sorry but thats just not the kind of person i want 70% of my grade to depend on#personal#uni
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Another year has passed, and with it the opportunity to reflect back on all that has happened. While my growth was not as dramatic as last year, I can still see lots of positive change.
I'll never have enough ways to say thank you for all the love and support you have given me this year. On to 2025!
(2023 summary here!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#Since last year's independent variable was PD-WWX; this year I used Lan Wangji.#Unfortunately his appearances were not very evenly distributed this year! Lots of LWJ's early in the year#then a dead period in the middle. He is forever my silly rabbit. I love drawing him!#If I have to put a label on this year; I'd describe it as 'experimental'. I pushed myself to do llots of new things!#I drew lots for dungeon meshi and that really boosted my growth. More body types -clothing details - expressions!#Ryoko Kui is a great artist to learn from and It made me realize that I had a lot to gain from doing more studies.#I also started working on a whole new genre of art! While it has taken a backburner spot - I'm working on a game now!#Digital art was my enemy last year but I have been getting a feel for it now.#Goals for this year is to 1) keep working on my personal projects 2) finish PD-MDZS! and 3) practice animation!#I didn't (couldn't) draw as much as I did last year...but I had to take a lesson in humility and taking care of myself.#Drawing is something I do 'for fun' but there were many times it became more stressful than it should.#I'm still learning how to find and maintain balance with everything life throws at me.#We are all works of progress and I am trying very hard to love the process and the journey! I don't really know my destination!#But I will keep taking steps forwards. I never want to be stuck and lost as I once was.#If 2024 was a rough year for you too; We're in this together. Let's keep taking steps together. No matter how small.#Love you all so very much. You've given me strength on the darkest days. Thank you thank you thank you.
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do it all for love
#wanted to capture the feeling of being a little kid and wanting to use every crayon in the box#before learning restraint and method and expectation#something warm and exciting and familiar even though its new and strange and unlimited#i love dancing. its an art form i cant physically take part in especially not to the degree i would like to#but i love it. i love watching dancers move together. i love knowing the work that goes into being that faithful#and the smiling breathless exhilaration after it ends - i know that feeling. and i want to carry it for as long as i can.#what else have we got but love?#if i can impart any lesson. provide any truth. it is that i think you should be happy. and i hope you make sure thaf you are.#my art#my ocs#lion#anthro#cws:#bright colots
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THUNDER FORCE 5: THE OMEGA CONTINUUM
The insidious GLUMLOCK CONTINGENT has taken control of an object of unimaginable power: the OMEGA CONTINUUM. Our heroes are in hot pursuit when a black hole combines with a CRYON CLOUD to transport our heroes to EARTH, 2025.
Join Tallis Jan, Dink Blastar, Snarky Bobo, Jack Sensation, Big Hork, and actor Jonathan Frakes on a rip-roaring temporal adventure as they stand against enemy forces... including the enemy WITHIN?
Pre-order tickets for a chance to win your VERY OWN Big Hork plushie. In theaters never.
#this is perhaps the most effort i have ever put into what was originally supposed to be a goof#i want campy thunder force sci-fi flicks to be real SO bad you don't understand#i have faith that if we work together we can goncharov this thing#mbmbam#naming of the year#thunder force 5#my brother my brother and me#tummy buddy life: dare to care#tummy buddy life#mcelroys#art#green's art#should i tag the characters#eh what the heck#tallis jan#dink blastar#snarky bobo#jack sensation#big hork#thunderforce five
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oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#nandermo#look im a reasonable guy#i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits#hell i even liked season 4#but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015#‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’#‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’#‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’#also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me???#jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010#and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship#like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want#instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration#nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing#not…this.#like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused#this has left a bad taste in my mouth
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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tbh I don’t think therapy would have fixed Jayce and Viktor lmao. maybe would have softened their self-destructive tendencies but there’s no fixing that co-dependent relationship. Heimerdinger Mel and Sky are told “yeah, I can help treat their individual depressions but nothing is gonna reduce their co-dependency. I’m pretty sure separating them makes it a lot worse for not only them but much worse for everyone else. for everyone’s safety I suggest they’re not allowed to be more than a buildings length away from each other and even that is pushing it.” That therapist then quits on the spot cause now they’ve literally seen everything.
It’s like that scene in Brooklyn nine nine where all the physiatrists are observing and talking with Gina but instead it’s a whole crew of therapists and neurologists and physiologists trying to find out how these two men literally mind-melded together. They go to couples therapy but it’s literally just individual therapy held together because why tf not it’s the only way to get them to go.
#in therapy like well Viktor doesn’t sleep well and I think it’s because he keeps dreaming about that time when he was 12 and got sick#the therapist is like well does Viktor tell you this and Viktor is like no I didn’t tell him that recently but that is why I can’t sleep#this is how their therapy is paid for btw that team dealing with them is getting research papers and grants and funding#their award winning paper is about codependency and the end of the world and shit#one therapist suggests they spend a few days apart and the next time they come back talk about it#and all those two can do is just info dump to each other about random shit they did and thought about while they were apart#they didn’t even do the same things but for some reason complete each others sentences#the therapist is like how did you know????? and they’re like well it’s so obvious what he did while I was away#and it’s just science and science and science#that therapists just quits and leaves Piltover#gets tf away from those two#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayvik#jayce was like well last time I was separated from Viktor he almost died and the second time I teamed up with a random girl and killed a ki#Viktor is like no way last time we were separated I experimented on myself with runes shimmer and the hexcore#AU sky doesn’t die btw#and they’re just like lmao oops too bad you weren’t there you probably would have stopped me#honestly they should have been exiled with the caveat they have to go together#these two get handcuffed together and their only problem is that it’s now harder to work in the lab
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ok like 3 ppl said yes heres the animatic wip i promised last night! lotta stuff to add & change, but shes coming along pretty well for the first time ive actually bothered working on an animatic thats haunted me like a prophetic vision !!
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#my art#art#fanart#wip#HATEEE some of these panels n how ive put em together but...thats why we go back later and work on it further😼😼😼#i wanna go back n make transitions nicer & actually /animate/ some bits but. perhaps i should get more base panels done before all that 😁#much like every1 earth i imagine far too many blorbo animatics and never make them but this one was so vivid that i was compelled#yall remember. the. Binghe Is Ur Shizun Single post? that was just a pretty sqq?#thats one of the later bits of this :)
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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Something I really like about Raph and Leo’s relationship is that Raph noticeably doesn’t hold back with Leo nearly as much as he does with Donnie and Mikey, and it’s really nice to see that from him.
Leo too would frequently fall into a natural strategist and second-in-command role of sorts, often actually giving his worries and thoughts to Raph where he wouldn’t normally.
Then the Shredder happens and this dynamic is thrown into a loop where they both stay solidly in their own camps of “we’re heroes, it’s our duty” and “we’re teens, who cares?” And during this, Raph not holding back from Leo is cranked up to an eleven and Leo flips around to mask more with Raph than he ever had before and deliberately riles Raph up so that fights are all but guaranteed.
Post-invasion, it’s clear they’re (mostly) back to how they were before for the most part, with an added level of respect and maturity (and trauma) there too, and it’s great to see because they’re an amazing duo when they’re on the same wavelength.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#I love their dynamic a lot actually#it is funny to see Raph be all ‘hey buddy ☺️’ sometimes to Donnie and Mikey but Leo he’s like nah it’s on sight#and Leo for his part is like okay we should probably not trust the spider lady right Raph? RIGHT Raph??#they work really really well together tbh and cover each others weak points amazingly#strong and defensive Raph and quick and strategic Leo#lethal combo#I could say more but that essay is for another time#codependency mention below /#okay but *eyes my post-invasion codependent Raph & Leo idea because the movie could so easily lead to that*
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I love you, and us, and I wanted to celebrate our awesomeness as a couple. NCIS: HAWAI'I | 2x20: NIGHTWATCH TWO
#ncis hawaii#ncis hawai'i#kate x lucy#kacy#ncishawaiiedit#wlwsource#wlwgif#kacyedit#lucy tara#kate whistler#photoset#yes you absolutely SHOULD celebrate your awesomeness as a couple!!#deserved!!#I completely thought that she was covering for something with that random anniversary story though#but no.. she is just that weird#such a good episode for them though#the flirting the sweetness the working together the over protective kate#the re-do of their first meeting we never got to see!!#beautiful stuff#and kevin ryan was here dating tennant#the ep had it all
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My boss always chooses saturdays when I've agreed to work extra to pull me into her office and discuss in detail how her enemies plotted against her. meanwhile my other boss is there adding helpful asides like "what we can learn from this is to trust no one". is this a mailing company or game of thrones
#you know what i think? i think we are all getting worse together on account of working a 60 hour week#why is this how we are spending our time? do i have to care? should i find a different job?#<- questions i have asked myself today
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PLEASE STOP HARASSING DECK NINE DEVS AND LIS PLAYERS WHO DON'T AGREE WITH YOU.
Death threats are not okay.
Telling people to kill themselves is not okay.
Harassing people over fictional ships is not okay.
Harassing people over their opinion of a game is not okay.
Harassing already overstressed, overworked employees is not okay. ESPECIALLY since it's been documented they've been working under discriminatory and predatory management, been through multiple crunches, and have an unidentified neo-Nazi on their team who management did not properly address and fire.
You can still be critical of a game and not harass the people who made it. Hell, you can absolutely hate a game and still be respectful to the people who made it. I'm sure the creators are far more likely to listen to the fans if we give constructive criticism than if we irresponsibly and cruelly send threats.
I know most people who see this haven't sent hate, and to those people: this post isn't about you. I massively respect you for maintaining your rationality and empathy. But for those who have sent hate or are thinking of doing so, please reconsider. Sending hate isn't going to change anything; it'll only break the fandom even further apart and stress out overworked employees. If you're going to be mad, be mad at the higher-ups at Square Enix for turning the franchise into a cash cow and at the upper management at Deck Nine for overworking and alienating their employees. (Also be mad at that 1 neo-Nazi because seriously, WTF!?)
But please, even to the worst of the worst, do not send death threats or harass people.
#in other news instead of fighting each other i think pricefielders grahamfielders marshfielders and all other shippers should come together#to say that de did a major disservice to their characters#and advocate for better writing and representation and working conditions in their next game#because i seriously feel bad for the employees who received hate after years of trying to create a good game#while dealing with awful working conditions and a discriminatory work environment#also this isn't about lis but I just have to say it:#i am so so sorry to all my fellow americans out there#i will continue to post LGBTQIA+ content here#and be supportive of poc and immigrants (legal and undocumented) and women and everyone else too#the upper class may have failed us but we will not succumb to hate#not incorrect quotes
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cyno: delivery for you.
alhaitham: …this letter is from you
cyno: yes. i’d already written it by the time i realized i didn’t trust anyone else to bring it to you
alhaitham: you could just tell me what it says then since you’re already here
cyno: i can’t say it out loud in your office
alhaitham: ah. so it must be a fairly sensitive case—
alhaitham: cyno.
cyno: what?
alhaitham: this just says that you think i’m pretty
cyno: yes, because i do and - considering the nature of our current relationship - i thought i should let you know.
alhaitham: again— you could just tell me?
cyno, frowning: we’re at work, that would be unprofessional. though i suppose you’ve already breached the line by reading it out loud so please be more considerate next time :/
#haino#cytham#cyhaino#alhaitham#cyno#haino incorrect quotes#genshin impact#genshin incorrect quotes#cyno when they’re in public and off work: *saying every compliment* *physical touch to the max* *mentioning they’re together constantly*#cyno during work hours: grand scribe alhaitham please refrain from asking me personal questions like how my day is going during work hours😐#i think he’d compromise for the occasional note instead#and alhaitham is just constantly wondering how he fell for THE most work oriented man in all of sumeru😔#i am FULLY on the train that thinks cyno gets alhaitham to work way more than alhaitham is able to get cyno to slack#not to say he cant get him to slack at all but i think cyno usually wins lol#and i think alhaitham is obsessed with it#spends all his free time thinking up new tactics to win their daily ‘should we go in an hour late’ argument#tfw you and your partner are equals the only ones who can challenge each other able to meet half way—#they make me crazy fr
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The Chariot and his entourage
[I] [II] [III] [IV] [V] [VI] [VII]
#life series#wild life smp#trafficblr#smallishbeans#grian#rendog#in case it wasnt clear the plan is to eventually have 1 of these for every winner#but anyways! shes finally finished#i wanted to have this done within a reasonable time of the season finishing but ig that didnt work out lol#a couple thoughts before i go:#1. i am now a member of the we should just do tarot cards club. chariot joel ftw#2. maybe this is a hot take but i think analyzing All of the top 3 together can paint an interesting picture on the story of a season#3. if the death injuries seem inaccurate to you dont worry thats on purpose. canon doesnt matter when its cooler-#-if martren was split down the middle clean. i also just dont know how to draw ''doomed to fall''#but i digress. enjoy!#my art
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