#wanted to capture the feeling of being a little kid and wanting to use every crayon in the box

[nightshade962]

Once again here we go with a dcxdp Tim / Danny as I have said before I have a list I'm working down it and things get added when I think of one I might start doing danny/jason as well but I say I don't know that I mean dead on Main is pretty thriving

This one is where maybe team Phantom( which for this consists Valerie Sam Tucker Wes and Danny and sometimes jazz) decide to take like a gap year or do online schooling and just travel around the world and different dimensions and planets Danny's ghost King as long as he has a place to do his paperwork once in awhile he's good and between Sam's wealth and Danny's riches and let's be honest some blackmailing Vlad they don't really have to worry about money all that much

We all know jazz went to Ivy League so on her breaks when she doesn't have extra stuff to do she travels with them

Let's say maybe jazz is doing a internship at Arkham so while she's there team Phantom decide to visit her and I'll be there for a while.

Somewhere along the way they get mixed up with the Wayne's maybe Sam's parents and Vlad bribed them to go for them in their Stead and they're just pure chaos there that kids just love it and find them funny Tim and Danny hit it off let's say maybe dick and Jazz hit it off as well( I know it's usually Jazz and Jason but I kind of like dick and Jazz a little bit more then read and or write what you want)

Maybe Sam convinced is the rest of Team Phantom to participate in a protest feel like every animal rights or the plants somebody Poison Ivy and or Damien are there and they're just pure chaos there's some of the loudest voices there cuz if they're going to fight for something they're going to fight for it hard and loud

Tim ends up finding out that they travel around all around the world if they are doing schools usually online or they're just having fun being young adults cuz sadly let's face it they had to grow up pretty quickly

Maybe at some point one of team Phantom is captured by a rogue in Gotham and Danny loses his absolute s*** because they are his people him and Valerie pretty much take this person down before the bats get there and maybe was something with like ectoplasm has tainted them and they have like an Ecto signature or maybe you could go the route of Lady Gotham claiming them as her nights and Danny just knows

Anyway it gets out that Valerie and Danny were both once vigilantes Sam and Tucker helped Danny Jazz knew and Wes figured it out they pretty much tell the bats they know who their civilian identities are and they found it by the giw and everything like that maybe team Phantoms already dealt with giw completely or they haven't I'll let you decide

Eventually team Phantom is going to carry on go about their business and eventually they're going to leave Gotham maybe Tim wants to be like a young adult like his other peers and travel and I kind of want good bat family and so Tim proposes the idea to travel with them he's pretty much head over heels for Danny already then it's just the same the bat family supports him they can still get in contact him over calms and get his ideas and he can go over cases out in line especially since he doesn't have to hide out from these people anyway they know what it's like it's already a team Phantom is Chill about it like yeah come travel with us see the world without having to be on a mission or there are for publicity

Now I know at the end it's a little rushed and this is kind of jumbled this is my after a long day at work thoughts so I'm tired so it's a little rambly and I know it's a bit out of character for Tim but I kind of like that feel free to add on

[canonkiller]

do it all for love

[gojosprettyprincess]

₊˚ෆ HOW TOJI DEALS WITH OTHER MEN LIKING YOU <3

Tw- breeding, mentions of violence (not towards you), video recording. Not proofread

“Nuh uh don't hide this fucking pussy, show him how much you're creamin’ on my cock, don’t go all shy on me darling”. Toji laughed mockingly, his large hand effortlessly clasping both of your wandering wrists above your head to prevent any escape while using your phone to zoom in on the icky view of the mess between your mellowed thighs.

A streak of milky wetness glistened all over his massive cock, cascading down to his aching balls that were being captured in the filthy mess anyways because of how it's continuously slamming against your asshole that was coated with the cream that seeped out your gooey cunt.

"Fuck yeah, ya see that? See how this cute little pussy is wetting my dick? She sure as hell must be fucking loving it to be making this hell of a mess," he declared proudly. His deep, husky laugh resonated throughout the room, leaving no doubt that Toji was most likely losing his mind over the situation.

A few minutes earlier you told him about the guy from your class who confessed his feelings to you and you’re very uncertain about how to respond so you asked your boyfriend for some advice and well he decided to matters into his own hands.

“Tojii.. l-let go!” You cried out, attempting to dig your nails into his wrists as if that would make any difference, considering how fucking strong he is that it made your efforts almost laughably worthless.

“Nah don't think I want to darling, this fucker needs to know who the hell you belong to” he gritted his teeth at the thought of the guy even having the audacity to think you'd date him. You're all his and he would go to extreme lengths to ensure it remains that way.

The two of you were undeniably meant for each other and there was no fucking way in hell Toji would let some random fucker take you away from him.

“You wish this was you huh? Too fucking bad it's all mine to stuff and fuck, she belongs to me. Keep texting her and I’ll find you and bash your stupid fucking head in. Ya hear me?”. His brutal words cut through the air with a sharp edge, conveying possessiveness and veiled threats. It reverberated loudly, ensuring every detail was captured in the recording that the guy will be listening to soon after this.

His voice was deeper and harsher than normal, making your little cunt flutter even more around his stiffened shaft.

Which he obviously picked up on. “Ohhh you're such a slutty fucking whore baby, who am I kidding.” his grip on your bruised hands tightened. Threatening to leave more red, angry marks as he buckled his hips harshly into your ruined pussy. The force of his hips as he pushed into you aggressively showed literally no mercy.

“You’ll never fucking leave me, you're too fucking obsessed that your little cunt is twitching around me to the thought of me killing another man for you huh?”.

“N-no—” you stammered, turning your head away to look the other direction which made his grin widen even more as he playfully licked the faded scar on his lips because it had always been an indication of you lying whenever you looked away from him like that.

“Aww, that's fine doll," he murmured softly, his gaze unwavering as he directed the phone towards your fucked out face. His body sank deeper, inching downwards until his face hovered mere inches from your own. "you know what I'm thinking?”.

You peered your eyes at him and held contact in sheer curiosity.

“I’ll just breed this pretty fucking pussy and fuck a baby into you, how's that sound? Huh? You'll be such a good Mommy to our kid” his breath is now fanning against your face. Your body quivered at the thought, a deep longing stirring within you.

The thought of his suggestion made you moan, not just a normal moan. There's no particular way to describe it but the thought of that made your mind blurry and hazed. You and Toji always talked about having children in a few years but there's no harm in one now.

His possessiveness drove you crazy. Sure you knew Toji wasn’t a saint or an angel because at the end of the day, he murdered people for a living and because of that alone— he knew about the lonesome dangers of the world so he’s extremely overprotective and you’d loved every bit of it.

The thought of Toji even thinking you’d leave him for anyone else was an insult towards you because both of you were perfect for each other in every way possible.

“Y-yes! yes please, wanna carry your baby!” you babbled over and over, nodding your head like some stupid bitch as he proudly smirked at your reaction in amusement. “Yeah? Want me to make you a mommy? Get you pregnant so you'll be all full and swollen? Then everyone is gonna fucking know who you belong to”. The glint in Toji’s eyes was so dark, that it almost had you scared for a moment.

“Yesyesyes, please, m’so desperate Toji, fill me up–” you whimpered, tears glistening in your eyes as you pleaded fervently.

“Yeah fuck that, y’know what—” he mumbled to himself with a brief pause to stop the recording on his phone and swiftly hitting the "send" button to the guy that’s currently and patientlyyy waiting for your response in the chat. He casually tossed the device to the side and embraced you tightly, his strong arms enveloping you and wrapped around your neck to hug you before vigorously slamming his hips into you in an intense pace.

Unfortunately, the poor guy never had the chance to witness the adorable blessing you and Toji shared several months later because your boyfriend assassinated him on his way home the very next afternoon because he tried to speak to you again in person.

[levi-4uckerman]

just a lil something I’m working on…………….

TW: pregnancy, secret pregnancy

“Oh,” was all you could say, breathless at the little figure—; black and white and barely visible on the screen in front of you. It just barely resembled a human, with a too-big head and little nubs on the side that you could hardly even call arms. It was so stupid, so ridiculously not-real looking, but when the tech moved her wand just right, goddammit, it almost looked like it was moving and if it was moving then it was alive and if it was alive— 

“Is it real?” You asked dumbly. “Is… is this real?” 

She didn’t laugh at you, surprisingly. She merely smiled and said softly, “Yes, it is. It’s real.”

You tilted your head at the screen, trying to contain your increasing heart rate. “Is it… is it moving?” 

This time, she laughed. “It sure is. At this gestation, they’re able to float, bounce, and even swim around a little. You might feel intense twitches every now and then deep in your belly where the fetus is hanging out— that’s totally normal, and just it moving around inside its little sac,” she explained nonchalantly, as if she didn’t just confirm to you that not only were you pregnant, but you were pregnant with a real, tangible, moving *thing* inside of your body that was put there by—

“Would you like extra copies for Dad? Grandparents, maybe?”

“Yes,” you said, without thinking. You had no intention of sharing this with Gojo. You had no parents to share it with. But a part of your mind, something so deep and instinctive, wanted every moment of this little creature’s existence captured— on film, on paper, on everything. 

Before this day, you’d never once considered having children. Until you knew that those little twitches deep in your stomach had arms, legs, and a heartbeat. 

Maybe it was the fact that you lacked a purpose. Since the death of Suguru, your role has caused nothing but unrest amongst your colleagues. Unlike Satoru, you weren’t a teacher. You didn’t take the kids on missions. You fought well, but it felt like a performance these days— when was the last time you truly used your combat skills? You knew the fight was never really over, but… maybe this was the beginning of something. 

Something new. Something different.

Your hands went to cup your tummy, the being inside non-palpable, of course. This was… incredible. In all of your life as a sorceress, nothing felt quite as magical as the little thing growing inside of you. 

You tried not to think about its potential to throw the entire jujutsu community into chaos. 

Gojo Satoru. It always came back to Gojo.

hey! did you like this? it's based on this fic i'm writing! come take a look („ಡωಡ„)

[inkskinned]

it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.

it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.

you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.

it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.

your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?

it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.

your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.

it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.

literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!

it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.

but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!

get moving.

[velocesainz]

Hii!

Could you possibly do a Percy Jackson smut with Percy fucking the brat out of reader, his rival? Rough sex with degrading and praise pls and ty 🫶🏼🫶🏼

A/n:This was quite an interesting request for me to write, thank you for the idea! All character have been aged up (19-20)

More than rivalry

Percy jackson masterlist | Main masterlist |

Summary: Percy gets jealous seeing you (his rival) with another boy and decides to fuck you to make sure you remember that you are his but you end up being too cocky for his liking

Warnings: smut, degradation

Pairing: Percy x daughter of Zeus! Reader

Reader pov:

I was practising my archery skills with some Apollo kids and we were actually having a lot of fun

Over the time I had spent Robert over the past few days perfecting my archery we both really grew close together

He was one of the very few people at camp who were actually friends with me for me and not because I was Zeus’s daughter.

While we were training I clumsily fell over a rock and was about to go crash into the ground but Robert caught me in time.

We stayed in the position for a little bit not knowing what to do.

We looked at each other with soft and gentle eyes, like how friends would rather than people who like each other though it seemed otherwise to most.

It was a sweet moment we both were trying to savour when a bellowing voice split us apart

“Oi thunder witch! What are you doing, let the poor guy out of his misery and do some practising on your own yea?” Yelled the voice that I really didn’t want to hear right now

Percy motherfucking Jackson

“Ocean ass how about you go bother someone else. He’s here with me at his own will for your kind information. Care more about your friends yea?” I retorted

I wanted to leave the arena as fast as possible so I bid Robert goodbye and left for my cabin

Percy pov:

Crisis averted.

I didn’t let Robert and y/n have their moment.

Why the fuck out of all the girls here does Robert have to go for y/n?

He has like a hundred girls dying for him.

Doesn’t he know she’s mine?

I know we seem like enemies but I wish to fuck like every second of the day at this point

She’s just so beautiful and that attitude damn.

I had a plan to get y/n away from every other guy, not just Robert.

Reader pov:

I was sitting in my cabin reading a book when I heard a knock on my door

That’s odd, I thought

Nobody was usually free at this hour in the evening

Everyone was too busy scheming for capture the flag except me of course

I wasn’t allowed to participate along with Percy since we were a tad bit overpowered

I walked over and opened the door and before I could figure out who it was they shoved me against the wall and started kissing me

I pushed the figure away and tried to run but they caught me

“Don’t try to run bitch. You need to be taught a lesson. Now be a good little slut and listen to what I say or the consequences will be severe for you” the figure whispered in my ear.

Then I realised who it was

Percy.

I was feeling cocky today so I decided to tease him a little

“You sure you can be intimidating and dominating seaweed brain? I don’t think you can even satisfy me forget punishing me”I replied with a smirk gracing my features

“Oh you asked for this whore. By the time I’m done with you you will be so dumb for my cock that you won’t even remember your name. Just you wait “ he said in a Husky voice which turned me on more than I would like to admit

He started removing my clothes as fast as he could and I couldn’t help but sneak in a cheeky comment

“Desperate are we?” Boy oh boy was this a bad decision

“I’m going to fuck that cocky attitude right out of you. You really just can’t keep your mouth shut can you whore?” Percy said and threw me in my bed

Undressing himself he got on the bed and made his way towards me like a predator approaching its prey

He moved my panties to the side and roughly shoved his cock inside me without any warning

“A-ah p-p-Percy that hurts sto-“ I was cut off by a slap I received

“Shut the fuck up slut. You were the one who was acting all cocky just a few minutes ago. Bitches like you don’t deserve to be cared for” Percy panted as he continued thrusting in and out

His pace was ungodly. He kept thrusting in and out of me letting my pussy drink up his cock

I felt like I was losing my mind as he hit my g-spot repeatedly completely abusing it

“O-oh fuck your pussy is tight. G-gods I’m going to come. Ah yea just like that” He whispered huskily

“I am going to cum too Percy” I told him

“No no. You don’t get to cum you little slut. You’ve been a really back whore for me. You don’t get to cum today, deal with it yourself” Percy said as he came in me

He got dressed quickly and left leaving me a panting and unsatisfied mess

Goddamit jackson.

A/n: let me know if you guys liked this fic or if you have any feedback! Requests are still on hold unfortunately but they’ll be opened soon. Kissies ✨

[kaiser1ns]

#. PINK BOW, MY HEART GOES POW !

featuring 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 ıllı. takiishi chika, endo yamato

fluff + slight suggestive. just you wrapping a pink ribbon bow around their bicep, the sight makes you insane.

TAKIISHI CHIKA

You have been dying to try this trend, even had a dream of your boyfriend being all adorned with cute little bows in his hair. But, now you sit in front of him with pleading hands and eyes, holding light pink lace as he just stares at you, a little blankly as he sits on the couch with his arms outstretched and the tank top he's wearing doesn't help at all. You try not to jump on top of him and start kissing and hugging him because he looks so hot, so incredibly hot.

"Please, please, please." you would never beg to a man, but right now your needs were getting the better of you, you had to do it and see it. It would look so cute, with him having a pink ribbon around his bicep. "I will let you do whatever you want, just please make my dreams come true!"

"Fine," he put one of his shoulders forward to you, not the first time you touched him there, nor would it be the last, but right now you just wanted to die. For some reason, you really loved his arms, especially at night when he was holding you close and couldn't let you go, nor did he want to. Once you enter his world, you can't leave. That was the golden rule in your relationship, as strange as it was at times.

You almost couldn't believe that he let you do such a thing, he is like a genie granting you the greatest wish in your whole life.  Quickly moving to sit beside him, unable to stop the squeaks and the giggles, you carefully placed the ribbon against his skin, smoothing it out as you started tying it into a bow. The sight of that pink ribbon on the muscles of his arms was so cute that you could hardly contain yourself.

He watched you, without any visible emotion on his face, as you fussed over getting the bow just right. To him, it was just a piece of fabric, nothing special. But to you, it was a symbol of how the most innocent and smallest things could make your heart swell with love for him.

“Oh my God, you look so cute!” you literally screamed, hands over your mouth, sitting back to admire your piece of art. Grabbing your phone immediately to start snapping pictures, capturing every moment from every possible angle. “Baby, you are just so adorable, I’m going to cry.”

He was so confused, just a ribbon can make you behave like a little kid with a sugar rush, obsessing over something as small as a bow.  “Why is this making you happy?” 

“You don’t get it, do you?” you teased, setting down your phone aside and leaning closer to him, heart beating so loud and so fast to the point it may burst at any given second. Poor Chika doesn't know that he can give his girlfriend a heart attack, just by being him. “It’s just my way of appreciating you and your beautiful and strong arms that keep me safe, day and night.”

“It’s just a bow, wrapped around my bicep.” he let out a sigh, shaking his head slightly, “It's nothing special, but if you say so.”

But you weren't paying attention to his words anymore, instead, you focused on how close you were to him now, just inches apart but you could feel the heat and the warmth radiating from his body. You wanted to do more than just look at him and without thinking, you sat on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder. You didn't miss seeing the tattoo, on the back of his arm as you smiled softly when you turned to look at his face now, the need to be close to him was overwhelming.

“Why don’t we just cuddle?” you whispered, looking him through your lashes, nibbling on his cheek. If he was cute, then he didn’t know what you were. “Just you and me, and that pink bow that ties us together.” 

What magic did you put on him to soften around you? The arm with the ribbon, wrapped around your waist as he relaxed. It ties us together, you say. He smirked, then he should also tie you later, to see what's so exciting about this lace, to show you how much he loves you too.

ENDO YAMATO

It was his idea for you to tie a ribbon to his bicep, and it's probably the best thing he has come up with. Endo didn't have such sculpted and tight muscles before, yes he was strong, but now... You were drooling at the sight of his buffy and tattooed arms. He knew what he was doing, he always did. Sitting on the kitchen counter, he was between your legs and you took a deep breath — you just had to tie two ribbons to both of his biceps. How easy is that, right? Wrong. It wasn't easy at all, especially the way he looked at you, so smitten like you were the only person in his world, knowing full well you weren’t but you sure took a large of his heart and mind.

“Doll, you just have to tie them, take a photo, and make it your new wallpaper,” he says like it's that simple, yes you're going to make the photo your new wallpaper, you can't help but do it. He smiled sweetly at you, a little playful even, and you took the two pink laces from his hands without hesitation. "I'll make the prettiest ribbons so you won't want to take them off."

"Your wish is my command," you first grabbed his left hand giving it a light squeeze before tying the lace into a cute ribbon. You met his eyes for just a moment and blushed slightly as you began tying a ribbon around his right bicep. "You have very gentle hands, you know that?"

Yes, of course, you do. ”Do I? Maybe I’m just extra careful because I don’t want to ruin this perfect canvas,” you replied, cheeks warming at his compliment, trying to focus on the ribbons and not how his muscles tensed beneath your touch.

Once you were done, he couldn't resist flexing his muscles again, and you could see the lase straining, almost ready to snap. “First, let me take a photo, then you can flex as much as you want,” you said, quickly grabbing your phone. You took a couple of photos, capturing the contrast of the delicate ribbons against his inked arms. But then you had another idea. “Yamato, hug me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, wrapping his arms around you, the bows stood out even more. Only your face was visible, his was resting on your shoulder, but you smiled for the camera as you took a selfie. And just like that, you had your new wallpaper.

“You can let go now,” you teased, but Endo had no intention of letting go. Instead, he swept you off, lifting you in a bridal carry like you were some feather. “Wouldn't dream of it, sweets,” he murmured, eyes now telling you something else. “Now, how about I show you just how strong these really arms are?”

You were shocked by how easily he handled you, but you trusted him completely into letting him take the lead. His strength wasn't just physical—it was the way he could make you feel safe and excited all at once, just by telling you sweet nothings like it was his second nature. Your heart raced, cheeks getting ever redder as he carried you towards the bedroom, knowing full well that he was just getting started.

taglist :: @maruflix

©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work

[luvhughes43]

sweetener | jack hughes

au masterlist⭐️ (apart of the journalist! au)

the previous part is linked here !

word count: 5.8k

⋆ ★

Three hurried knocks sound out from my front door and I rush out into the entry way as if whoever is behind that door will dissipate at a moment's notice. Of course I know that wouldn't happen, because Jack Hughes is standing on the other side of my door and all week he’s been updating me on his schedule and when he’d be able to meet our daughter. 

He’s been saying that a lot, our daughter. Which, he’s right. Leighton is our daughter but the word our feels so completely foreign to me that my mind reels and my heart races every time I hear him say it. Which is another thing, because Jack is a serial texter and yet, every night this past week without fail he’s called me to talk. He’s completely committed to being a father, and now that the paternity test came back telling us what we already know, Jack is coming to meet Leighton. Our daughter. 

Jack knocks again, and I quickly comb through my hair with my fingers before slowly opening the door. 

“Hey,” Jack waves awkwardly, unsure of what to do when you’re about to meet your secret baby for the first time. We both shuffle around my entryway awkwardly, before I gesture for Jack to sit on my couch. 

“Do you want water or anything to drink?” I ask lamely, twisting a lone baby blanket that was sprawled across the back of the couch in my hands. Jack shakes his head and then rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

What were you supposed to say to someone who was meeting their baby for the first time? Somebody that you had so much history with? Somebody who, despite everything that happened, still has a prominent place in your heart? You wouldn’t know. 

Jack opens his mouth, before quickly shutting it again. 

“I’ll go get Leighton,” I nod dumbly, as if that wasn’t the whole reason that we were both here. I’m not normally this awkward around Jack but… under the circumstances any sort of social queues I know have gone right out of the window. I don't let Jack reply before I shuffle out of the room. 

Leighton is dressed in a pink one piece onesie which was a gift from Jack’s mother, Ellen. Who for the last week has been texting me and sending things over to the apartment. 

As soon as Jack hears my footsteps, he's rushing to his feet and facing us. “Oh wow…” he murmurs as soon as he lays eyes on our daughter. “This is so much better than the pictures and videos…” he trails off again, referring to the numerous videos I've sent him of our daughter this past week. 

“Do you want to hold her?” I ask, to which Jack immediately nods. I gesture for him to sit back down on the couch and he happily obliges. 

“She’s gorgeous,” Jack awes as I shift Leighton to rest into his arms. I’m not surprised that I don’t have to tell Jack how to hold a baby properly, he’s always been so well versed with children. Even when we were dating babies and kids just seemed to gravitate towards him, making it easy for him to handle kids.

Tears rush to Jack’s waterline as he holds his daughter for the first time. He doesn’t bother to wipe them away as they freely run down his cheeks. “I have a baby,” he whispers, gaze soft as he stares at our little girl. “Hi Leighton,” he says again, voice slightly louder as he tries to get the young girl's attention. She smiles up at him gummily, before reaching a chubby hand out and latching onto one of her dad’s fingers. 

I silently pull my phone out of my pocket and capture the sweet moment between the two. I had imagined this moment for months, but no dream would ever compare to what was sitting before me. Jack softly cooing at our daughter, completely in awe of her would be something that I would never forget. 

⋆ ★

When Jack looks back on the past year, he can’t help but wince. If he was more mature maybe he wouldn’t have let you walk away so easily - maybe he would have seen through Vivienne's deceptions and would have realized that he wasn’t truly happy with her. After meeting his daughter and getting to spend time with you in person today he made a promise to himself that he would do better for himself and for his family. 

His family. Whom he had just fully met a few hours ago and yet his happiness still hadn’t slowed or ebbed away yet. It was all so incredibly surreal.

“Like I'm telling you, that was the most.. Like the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Jack spoke hurriedly on the phone to his older brother Quinn. “I have a daughter, and she’s real, and I held her today,”

“That’s really great,” 

“She grabbed a hold of my finger! She has a really good grip, probably going to be better than all of us at hockey,” Quinn only laughed in response. 

“When can I meet her?” he asked. 

“I don’t know, I'll have to talk to y/n about everything. We’re taking it slow right now you know? Just trying to get me comfortable with the baby and all that,” Jack answers, excitement still laced in his voice. “Mom sent Leighton some things though which… Leighton… What a pretty name? Like I have a daughter”

“I’m really happy everything's starting to work out for you,” Quinn responded. After all the dramatics of the past few weeks, the future was finally starting to brighten.

“Thank you,” Jack replied honestly, mind still reeling from the day's events. “I have a family.” 

⋆ ★

ynuser

liked by jackhughes, claudia, and others

ynuser my whole world🤍

jackhughes added to their story !

⋆ ★

“Are you okay? Why are you smiling so hard?” my best friend said to me as I finished doing my makeup. 

“What? I’m fine!”

“No seriously, what’s going on?” Claudia continues, easily seeing past my poorly constructed lies. 

“Jack’s coming over to see Leighton tonight,” I can’t help the smile on my face as it grows. Jack’s coming over. How long have I waited to say that? Now that this whole mess is behind us, we’ve really started to carve out a routine for ourselves. Jack would make the trip to NYC as much as he could within his schedule, and he’d come over and spend time with Leighton and I. Everything is finally starting to fall into place, and so sue me for getting a little excited that he had the whole evening free to spend time with Leighton and I. 

Claudia rolled her eyes, “You’re moving fast,”

At her words, my forehead scrunches. I don’t like the way she said it, moving fast, it sounds like she disapproves of Jack and I starting to co-parent.

“Well, we already have a kid together so I think it’s a little too late for ‘moving fast’” I remark, busying myself in my makeup bag so she doesn’t see the clear displeasure coating my features. 

Claudia studies me for a minute and I wish she wouldn't. I understand that Jack’s and I’s situation is completely out of the ordinary and that we were childish and immature before. But honestly, how else are we supposed to go about this situation if not barrel straight ahead? We waited for him to meet Leighton until the paternity was settled, we created a clear schedule for his visits and we’ve spent hours discussing how we would go about co-parenting. 

“Nothing I guess,” she shrugs simply. I reach for my powdered blush and messily reapply.

It’s tense for the next five minutes it takes for me to finish my makeup.

 “Well, how “fast” should we be going? Because, I know I'm trying the best that I can here. We have a history, and we have a baby, so i’m sorry if you think things seem to be going “too fast” for you,” 

“You're right, I'm sorry” Claudia immediately apologizes, probably not realizing how her words had offended me earlier.

Ever since Jack started making a reappearance in my life Claudia’s had an attitude about it… always wanting to sprinkle little comments here and there. I get that she’s overprotective, but she takes it too far with Jack. It wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t here for my pregnancy and the first few months of Leighton’s life. 

“I’m sorry,” I sigh. “Things have been… nice recently and I just need this to work out.” 

Claudia nods in understanding, and it makes me want to take my apology back.

When Jack comes over two hours later, any sense of annoyance or stress I was feeling immediately dissipates. We do our usual, watch over Leighton and play with her. She’s only a few months old and so there’s not much that she can do yet besides smile and play peek-a-boo, which I'm learning Jack excels at. 

“And… peek-a-boo!” the hockey player enthuses for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening to an excited baby. Leighton face scrunches up as she lets out another round of loud laughs, which immediately causes Jack and I to giggle.

“We have the cutest kid!”

“We really do,” Jack replies, eyes trained on our daughter who's smiling up at him. I leave the two to play as I make my way into my kitchen. It’s already getting quite late and since Jack’s keeping Leighton entertained… I might as well make dinner before he has to leave and I have to watch over her again. She always gets fussy closer to her bedtime, making it essentially impossible to cook dinner before she’s asleep. 

I pull out all of my necessary ingredients before pausing. “Jack?”

“What?” he calls out. 

“Are you staying for dinner? I’m making pasta” I respond, walking back into the living room so we don't have to yell. 

“Ohh can I? I’ve missed your cooking so much,” 

He missed my cooking… it was such a simple task and yet my heart melted… There was so much we seemed to be missing of each other these days.

Dinner coincidentally ends up being ready just as soon as Jack finishes putting Leighton to bed.

“It’s crazy to think that we’re parents,” Jack voices his thoughts aloud in between bites of his dinner. “Like, really. Were mother and father… like that's insane,”

“Are you having doubts?” I joke, knowing that he’s fully committed to being a father. His amazon cart alone proves that with all the toys and outfits he has ordered for our daughter. 

“No never! Are you kidding me? Being with you two… it feels right,” 

I giggle and end up having to cover my mouth with my hands. 

“What?”  

“I’m sorry that was just really cute,” I explain myself, lowering my hands so that Jack could see my wide smile which he immediately reciprocates with his usual gorgeous smile. 

Jack leans his head on the palm of his hand, and things finally feel like they used to. If I wanted to I could reach my hand out and hold his, but just knowing that he was here was enough. For so many months I wished that what I was seeing now would become true and now everything had finally turned out. 

“I’m really happy y/n”

“I’m really happy too,” my face tingles, but unlike my smile I make no move to cover the redness that was no doubt coating my cheeks. 

⋆ ★

Now that I am back from maternity leave, it seems like my boss is trying to punish me. I’m constantly getting all of the shitty news stories, and I've been getting less opportunities to get out on the field. Therefore, I've been stuck in the office all day writing fluff pieces about influencers and brands that “you need in your life!”. 

So, when I got the call that there was an important story that I could work on but it would mean I had to come into the office on my day off… well… I was going into the office. 

Now usually I had somebody to watch Leighton on the days that I work, but there was just no way that I would be able to find somebody to watch her on such a short notice. So, I did the only thing that I could think of and asked Jack if he was willing to watch Leighton by himself… for the first time. 

The day started out simply enough. Jack had come over to y/n's apartment early with breakfast and some coffee for the both of them. He listened dutifully to y/n explaining Leightons morning routine, and he prepared the baby a fresh bottle with no stress. Even after y/n had left for work, Jack had been running the place smoothly and without any hiccups. Which is why around mid-afternoon when Leighton refused her bottle that Jack had panicked.

“Okay, please just eat. I know you're hungry,” he cooed to the small girl who was cradled tightly against his chest. She squirmed, tears running down her face at a rapid speed. 

He had rocked Leighton, burped her, walked around the apartment with her bundled in his arms all in hopes of her quieting down. When nothing worked he had checked her diaper, changed it although it was clean, and warmed up her bottle again in case that may have been the issue. She continued on wailing.

“Please Leighton, eat for daddy please. Settle down, it's okay!” He tried his hardest but nothing was working. He debated on calling his parents but ultimately thought it was pathetic that he didn’t know how to take care of his own child. He had missed out on so many months with his girl, what if he fucked today up and was never allowed to take care of her again? Jack started to spiral. 

Another painstakingly long hour went by, and Jack felt as if he had truly lost his mind. Nothing was helping Leighton settle down, and now Jack was so far behind y/ns schedule that he was feeling beyond hopeless. 

“Just- okay just eat!” Jack tried again, but every time Leighton got close to the bottle she would shift her head away and cry. “I don't know how to help you!” he rocked his daughter in his arms. “Please, help me help you,” 

It was to no surprise that Leighton kept crying. So Jack did the only thing that he could think of doing next, he walked swiftly to Leightons crib and left her there. Once she was confined in her crib, he simply walked out of her room and back into the living room where he fished his headphones out of his bag. 

Jack's shoulders sagged in relief when the first few chords of some country song played. 

I’m not a good dad

I don’t know what to do

How am I supposed to be a father?

After two more songs played in their entirety, Jack called his mom. 

“Are you okay…?” I ask as soon as I catch sight of Jack whose shoulders were sagging. 

“Listen, everyone has already asked me that tonight so I don't need to hear it again. you don’t need to lecture me”

“Excuse me? I don’t even know what’s wrong?” “It was my first time watching my daughter, and I fucked up, I know”

“Jack… I'm not mad at you?” 

“Right, whatever” he says, gathering all his belongings that were scattered throughout my apartment and stuffing them in his bag. 

I stare at him in confusion, “Can we talk about this?”

Jack continues stuffing shit in his bag, and I walk towards him and place a firm hand on his shoulder. He shrugs it off, twisting towards me. “I don't want to talk about it,” 

I scoff, patience truly wiening thin. “Well, I’m Leighton’s mother and I would like to talk about what happened”

“I can’t do this with you tonight” Jack sighs, running a hand through his messy hair. 

“Do what? Communicate?”

“Look, i’ve had a rough week at work and i’ve been a shit dad tonight so I really don’t need to hear you bitch at me right now”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t talk to me like that.” 

“Like what!” Jack says defensively. 

“Saying I'm going to bitch at you! I want us to talk through things. You getting upset over a few minor mistakes isn’t going to get us anywhere. Leighton is fine, you’re fine, so tell me what’s really going on so that we can get past this”

Jack scoffs, “there's nothing going on”

“Well, you’re being all rude and defensive so there must be something” I snark, truly fed up with Jack’s behaviour. I understand that today was a lot for him, and maybe it wasn’t the best idea for him to watch Leighton for a full day when he’s only used to a few hours but he can at least try and speak nicely to me. 

“You know what? I don’t need this right now” Jack says, breaking his stance and making quick steps towards the door. 

I’m hot on his heels and he yanks the door open. “Jack?”

He slams the door, and i’m left reeling with whatever the fuck just happened. 

⋆ ★

3 weeks later...

DEUXMOI

liked by vivienne, and others

deuxmoi Jack Hughes seems to be a topic of demand recently…. But don’t worry! Viviennes new podcast episode will cover everything you need to know and more! Stay tuned

view all comments

user19 vivienne sending her own “tip” into deuxmoi just so she can get views on her new podcast episode… deuxmoi hits a new low every day

user20 this is actually so embarrassing omg

user21 nhl players on deuxmoi is my worst nightmare tbh

user22 theyve been on here for awhile lol its nothing new

user23 ohhhh i’ll be tuned in!

user23 he definitely cheated on her omgggg😭😭

⋆ ★

Pretty Girls Podcast EP 22: Mr. NHL Man

[audio] timestamp: 24:33 - 1:13:03

Co-host: Okay maybe we should address the elephant in the room!

Vivienne: The elephant in the room? I’m crying… [laughs], but yes everybody is here to know about my ex-boyfriend situation so let's just get into it

Co-host: Right so… 

Vivienne: Okay so Jack Hughes!

[both laugh]

Co-host: Oh we're just coming right out and saying it!

Vivienne: I mean everybody knows

Co-host: Right, so let's get into it. What's the story? Because you’ve only told me parts of the story but I don't-

Vivienne: I haven't really gone into detail with anybody yet so this is like, an exclusive

Vivienne: But anyway… as we all know… Jack and I were seeing each other for a while and we were pretty official by the time I did the podcast with Alix Earle. So there was this whole bit of Alix calling her boyfriend “mr. nfl man” and so I teased Jack by calling him Mr. NHL man.

Co-host: Right as one does! And I just want to add, Vivienne and Jack were - you guys were kind of serious at this point. Like your relationship wasn’t just a fling like there’s a reason you're talking about it on the pod. 

Vivienne: Yeah we were fully dating by that point. Like he was staying over at my apartment and things like that. 

Co-host: How did you guys get together? You should tell the whole story, like I'm already sensing the hate comments you’ll get if you don’t tell this right.

Vivienne: Okay. So, I met Jack through a mutual friend of ours and that's how we started talking. We went on a few dates to bars and things, and we really got along well, or at least I thought we did. 

Co-host: Were there any warning signs?

Vivienne: Honestly… 

Vivienne: Things were really good between us and we had a “normal” relationship for the first few months. Like we got together around the beginning of the hockey season, and we broke up like, right before he went on personal leave if you guys keep up with the NHL side of things.

Vivienne: But basically we were doing completely fine and it wasn’t until people started catching on that Jack and I were dating that things became rocky. 

Co-host: I've also seen a lot of things about an ex that he had? Like I'm just going to come out and say it, did he cheat on you?

Vivienne: Honestly, till this day I don't really know. 

Co-host: What? What do you mean?

Vivienne: He didn't tell me why we broke up. Like, I'm being so serious. One day he came over to my apartment and just broke up with me and then unfollowed me on everything. 

Co-host: Oh my god??

Vivienne: Honestly, I think it's because of his ex. Like, the amount of times I caught him searching through his photo albums of her is insane.

Co-host: What an asshole oh my god?? Do you know if they got back together or if they were talking while you two were still together?

Vivienne: No they weren’t talking

Co-host: How do you know?

Vivienne: I uh… 

Co-host: Did you go through his texts or something?

Vivienne: Well… [short pause].. No I didn’t- well- I know he wasn’t

Co-host: Okay…

Vivienne: But it was clear there was something going on there [weak laugh]

Co-host: Damn…

Vivienne: But anyway, he broke up with me unexpectedly and I just don't know why

Co-host: To be honest it sounds like he cheated on you and just didn't want to own up to it.

Vivienne: Yeah… I mean possibly. The ex thing was..

Co-host: He was just using you as a distraction and that really sucks for you.

Vivienne: It's just an awful situation. Like it was clear that he was still hung up on his ex and now I look like an idiot in front of everyone for making our relationship public.

Co-host: I don't think you look like an idiot. You thought the relationship was going to work out and now people are flooding your comment section begging to know what happened. Plus, it's Jack's fault anyway. Like he's no stranger to cheating allegations so what are you supposed to do?

Vivienne: Yeah… my dms are full of his fans basically blaming me for the breakup when they don't even know what happened. 

Vivienne: So, I just want it to be clear that I did nothing. Like I didn't want us to break up. 

Co-host: Even though you knew about the ex?

Vivienne: Yeah… I just felt so… like our relationship was really good I think I would have put up with anything. But now that it’s over i'm stuck looking back and… well it’s clear he maybe wasn’t always faithful or he had commitments with his ex. 

Co-host: Gosh…

Vivienne: But that's honestly it. After this episode is over I'm not talking about this. It's honestly really hurtful…

[end of snippet]

⋆ ★

“y/n i’m so sorry,” Jack's words are fast as he paces the floor of my entryway. He had a game in a few hours which he would no doubt be late for, seeing as he’s all the way in New York City instead of Newark.

“What are you doing here? You have a game?” I wonder aloud, Leighton softly cooing from her spot on my chest. 

Jack pauses at the sound of his daughter and his eyes visibly soften. “I’m really sorry,”

“I wasn’t mad at you,”

“I’m just afraid to mess things up again,”

“Jack…”

“And I'm sorry for snapping at you. It wasn’t your fault that I got upset,” 

I walk towards Jack and place a comforting hand on his arm, mindful of our daughter that was strapped to my front.

“I should have stayed,” he says into my hair, his arm coming around to hold onto me. 

I turn my body to hold him properly, and Leighton babbles away as she’s wedged between her parents. “You were overwhelmed. You're not used to watching her all the time and that’s okay,”

“I should be okay watching her while you’re at work I just-”

“You have to be kind to yourself,” I start, slowly pulling yourself away from Jack to lead the two of us into the living room. “It took me a long time to learn Leightons needs and how to read her. With more time you’ll learn and become more comfortable,”

Jack nods reluctantly, ultimately realizing that what I was saying was the truth. We sit in silence for a while, both wanting nothing more than to move on from this situation. 

“Come to my game tonight?” Jack breaks the silence. “You and Leighton? Please?” 

“You want us to come… tonight?” I question. Was this a good idea? 

Jack nods and takes Leighton out of my hands. “I think she should come to her first game,” 

“Okay….” I’m slow to agree. When Jack and I were dating, I barely went to his games. He never really invited me, and I had always felt weird about asking. With our relationship so private, we usually just appreciated each other’s careers from afar. 

Jack looks away from our daughter and back up at me, “I've talked to management about our… situation and they’re okay with you sitting in the box with Nico since he’s out” Jack explains. “It’ll be completely safe, and if you're worried about the drive to the stadium I’ve got my car and I can drive you” 

“What about afterwards?” 

“I can drive you back here after the game or you can stay at my place… I've… i've bought a bassinet for Leighton and some things if you guys want to stay the night,” 

“Okay,” I agree easily now. “Let me pack some of our stuff and we’ll stay with you tonight,”Jack looks beyond relieved at my words.

njdevils

Liked by jackhughes, _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, and others

njdevils Jack is back and meeting some fans 🔥

tagged: jackhughes

view all comments

jackhughes ❤️

_quinnhughes Love to see it

user24 jack and quinns comments… okay….

user25 jack is such a girl dad ugh! so cute!

user26 jack would be such a good dad im crying

user27 hold on is that his ex gf?? she looks like the same girl from the fan pics

user28 omfg wait???

⋆ ★

nhl.drama

liked by hughesl0ver43, and 351 others

nhl.drama jack hughes ex gf, vivienne aiden, reveals in her podcast that jack seemingly broke up with her for no reason. she also claims that he would constantly look at pictures of his ex gf while they were together, and he may have possibly cheated. what are your thoughts?💭

-

#jackhughes #nhl #vivienneaiden #confession #nhldrama

view all comments

user29 this is honestly just ridiculous like she clearly made this all up

user30 ? what how do u know

user29 she kept rambling on, couldn't confirm if Jack cheated or not, and just started bringing up his ex gf? And also, if she really didn’t know why he broke up with her/would still go back to him.. why would she make a whole podcast about it? it fr doesn't make sense

user31 They said Jack has a history of cheating? How would they even know that i’m so confused

user32 viv was his ex lmao im sure somebody warned her about him.

user33 i think it’s so weird that some of u guys are sticking up for jack… like vivienne sounded so sad / upset during the podcast… like he obviously did something wrong regardless of if shes telling the truth or not.

user34 she did not sound upset at all… she was legit laughing throughout the whole podcast and she could not make up her mind on which “story” she was gonna tell. she clearly lied and i hope jack sues her ass🤷‍♀️

user35 the timeline of this whole thing is so interesting tbh. like what ex are they talking about? also, i wish viv confirmed why jack took a personal leave lol. she left out all the interesting bits

user36 “ex gf” …. do yall think it was the girl from last year ? istg they refollowed each other after vivienne and jack broke up

user37 this whole drama is so lame IMO. just another girl looking for her 5 seconds of fame… nobody should care if jack cheated or not because his job is to play HOCKEY. honestly who gaf about his personal life

user38 his personal life is bleeding into his game lol. 

user39 LEAVE HIM ALONE MY GOD!!!!! U KNOW NOTHING. 

⋆ ★

Vivienne's podcast episode about her breakup with Jack had gone viral overnight. Everybody online was speculating about their relationship, as well as trying to prove each side right. Some of Jack's fans were trying hard to prove that Vivienne was lying and well, gossipers around the world were sticking up for Vivienne and trying to confirm that Jack is a serial cheater. 

Thankfully for Vivienne, she just had to sit back and enjoy the show. She knew that there was absolutely no way that Jack would come out and deny the cheating rumours, plus she knew y/n was private on everything and wouldn't come forward either. The drama would run its course for a few days until something better came along, and then Vivienne would be completely off the hook for everything. 

Alix E: just watched the pod! i hope you’re doing well❤️

Tana M: HE CHEATED ON YOU?? that's actually crazy. youre so fucking pretty. ugh, men are awful. If you ever wanna come on the cancelled podcast you're always welcome!

Alex C: Men are the worsttttt. Youre absolutely winning life though so make him regret it!💋

Everything seemed to be falling right into the palm of Viviennes hands. While Jack finding out about the whole y/n thing was a colossal nightmare, the support from her peers almost made up for it. She now had deals lining up the block, and she knew her career would only sky rocket from here on out. 

While being with Jack had pulled in massive numbers, the breakup was just insane for her social blade. She had gained soo many more followers across all platforms after posting Jack on her story, plus naming him in her podcast was just… it was honestly too good. A pr dream… It was going to be Viviennes year. 

⋆ ★

As soon as the small family made it back to Jack’s apartment after the game, they were all exhausted. Leighton had fallen asleep well into the second period, and had surprisingly stayed asleep despite how loud the arena was.

Jack quietly guided his girls into his bedroom. He set Leighton in her bassinet, and then helped me organize some of the things I brought over.  

“I haven’t been here in so long,” I mumbled as I pulled my toiletries out of her bag. 

“Well you're always welcome,” Jack whispered back as he silently watched me fumble around in the darkness.

“Shit, I forgot pyjama pants and all I have are jeans…” 

Jack immediately stands from his position in bed, mindful of the fact that Leighton is peacefully sleeping in the recently purchased bassinet. “You can have a pair of my sweats if you want?” he whispers as he walks over to his dresser and pulls out options. 

“It’s okay,”

“I’m not letting you sleep in jeans that's foul,” Jack says quietly as he gives me a pair of his sweats.

“Thank you,” my face heats up. If I wasn’t thinking about our history before, now I am. Everything was becoming a little too much… if I closed her eyes I could still picture the way things used to be. How we’d stay in his apartment and well… yeah.

Jack turned away just then, settling himself in his bed so that I could finish getting ready. He hadn’t thought too far ahead in their sleeping arrangements, and just as he started to worry that y/n might’ve found her way to the couch he felt a dip in his mattress. 

“Do you mind if…?”

“No I uh- No I don’t” Jack stuttered, completely caught off guard by their newfound closeness. 

“Thanks for tonight,” I whispered, snuggling into all of Jack’s blankets and excess pillows, all of which were bought when we were still together. 

“No worries,”

“I mean it though. Thanks for talking to me in person earlier and for driving us to the game” I continued sleepily. “And for letting us stay here tonight,” 

“Of course. Anything for my girls,” 

When there was no answer, Jack looked over to y/n's side of the bed only to find that she was already fast asleep. He checked the bassinet afterwards to find his daughter sleeping peacefully as well. Jack sighed in contentment before drifting off to sleep himself. 

My girls,

My girls, 

My girls..

Life was sweet.

next part

-

-

-

[xanasaurusrex]

comforting clarisse after breaking her spear

clarisse la rue x reader (any godly parent) a/n: i promise this was supposed to be a drabble but i got carried away (:

clarisse was stomping through the camp after capture the flag. everyone was practically jumping out of her way, no one wanting to face her very clear wrath.

by now, everyone knew what had happened right before the blue team won capture the flag. percy, the new kid, and clarisse had been in a pretty heated fight. the ares kids that usually followed clarisse around had backed off, realizing that the fight was a little bit more heated than they anticipated.

percy and clarisse both had a hold on the spear, and when clarisse threw him over her shoulder, the spear had snapped in two.

nobody had seen clarisse this angry in a really long time.

clarisse knew that she hadn't been this angry in a long time. honestly, she couldn't remember the last time she had wanted to rip the world apart half as much as she did right now.

clarisse had spent enough time being forced into therapy by her mother to know that being this angry wasn't good. she was determined, even in her rage-induced haze, to not approach percy jackson right now, because she would only make things worse. yes, she hated the kid more than anything right now, and yes, if the opportunity arose, she would twist his arms right off his body, but again, that would only make things worse.

there was only one person right now who clarisse knew could calm her down enough so that she wouldn't go on a killing spree.

y/n.

clarisse didn't know exactly where she was, but she had a pretty good idea. if y/n wasn't there already, she would be soon.

clarisse completely bypassed all of the cabins and headed straight for the woods. a few people looked at her in curiosity, but a quick sneer from clarisse got them to mind their own business.

the second clarisse had passed the initial wall of trees into the woods, she took a second to take a deep breath of the pine-scented air. just taking a break from practically stomping through the camp, she felt a lot of the tension in her body relaxed. she was here, she was away from the prying eyes and nosiness of the other campers, and most importantly, she was away from percy jackson.

that was a big step in the right direction.

she looked up and to her right, and caught sight of the first tree. it had a circle carved into it. she walked past it, and a few feet later saw another tree with a circle carved into it.

she followed the trail of circle-carved trees into a clearing that she'd found during her first summer here at camp.

originally, clarisse never planned on sharing this area with anyone. it was only hers. it was her safe place from the world, from all the stresses and anxieties that plagued her day and night, an escape from camp.

the clearing was mostly used as her calm down spot, where she came when she was so angry all she could see was red.

like right now.

but then she met y/n, and at the end of their first summer together, clarisse took her here, and showed it to her. and so now, whenever they needed to, they met up here. to just... be for a few hours.

together.

when clarisse finally pushed past the tall grass that was closing off the clearing, and she stepped foot on the grass that clarisse cut every once in a while, she finally caught sight of y/n.

just seeing her made everything feel as if it was going to be okay.

clarisse felt her muscles relax completely, and all the angry thoughts were quieted as thoughts of her girlfriend climbed into her mind, took root there, and made themselves comfortable.

clarisse was okay with that, because thinking about y/n was much more pleasant than thinking about that punk percy jackson.

clarisse stood there for a few more seconds, admiring y/n. the way the sun shone on her hair. the rings that glittered on her finger, every single one of them gifted to her by clarisse. seeing y/n wear them always made her happy, made her feel like she could climb a mountain and barely break a sweat.

she was sure that she had never loved anyone as much as she loved y/n.

it was at that moment that y/n turned around. at first, there was a slight look of alarm on her face, but it calmed as soon as she realized it was clarisse.

"clarisse," y/n murmured, and just that one utterance of her name felt like a siren's song for clarisse, immediately drawing her to her.

y/n was sitting on one of the large boulders in the clearing, a thin blanket already spread out over the surface of it so she could safely sit on the rock without burning her legs.

y/n stood up, and walked towards clarisse. clarisse took a step closer to her, and then they were right in front of each other, faces just a few inches apart.

"hi," clarisse muttered.

"hi," y/n smiled.

the two looked at each other for a few more seconds, before y/n opened her arms, and clarisse immediately fell into them. clarisse's face buried itself in y/n's neck, and y/n didn't hesitate to start stroking clarisse's hair in the way that she knew she loved. the way her mother had always done when she would get overwhelmed as a kid.

clarisse let out a heavy breath, one that y/n suspected she had been holding for quite some time.

"do you wanna talk about it?" y/n asked quietly.

clarisse shook her head harshly, and then hugged her arms tighter around y/n's waist. "not yet."

"okay." y/n responded.

the two stood there hugging for a few minutes, clarisse's tight hold on y/n never wavering. clarisse's breathing was labored and heavy, and y/n knew it was because she was holding back tears.

clarisse was the kind of person who didn't like to cry. even though y/n knew that there were probably tears glistening in her eyes, clarisse was going to refuse to let them fall, because clarisse was determined to be as tough as possible.

y/n couldn't even begin to imagine the pain clarisse was feeling right now. her spear, the one gift clarisse had from her father, was now snapped in half and unusable. that spear had been clarisse's prized possession, the thing she regarded with utmost love and care, and never allowed anybody but her touch.

there had been one time that clarisse had allowed y/n to hold it for a few minutes, but even then clarisse was anxious at the idea of not being in complete control of it, even for a small amount of time.

y/n had heard clarisse's scream as her and the rest of red team chased after luke with the flag. she had been so close, ever so close, and had run even faster when she heard the scream clarisse let out.

when she stumbled onto the beach and saw the snapped spear, she immediately knew what happened.

y/n didn't stay to find out what happened after that, she just saw the way clarisse stomped off in anger, and she immediately rushed away to get to the clearing, knowing that clarisse would need to be calmed down.

and now the two of you were here, standing in the middle of your clearing, holding each other.

finally, after a long time of just standing there in an embrace, clarisse whispers, "that was the only thing i ever got from my dad,"

y/n pulled away to look at clarisse, and felt the small patch of wetness that clarisse had left behind on her shoulder. "i know, honey," she whispered. she took hold of clarisse's hand and pulled her towards the boulder that she had been sitting on previously.

once the two were sitting, y/n directed clarisse to lay her head in her lap. she began stroking her hair again, and occasionally stroking her cheek.

"i'm so sorry this happened," y/n whispered in clarisse's ear. "i love you,"

"i love you too," clarisse whispered back.

clarisse closed her eyes, wanting to block out the visuals of the world, and focus only on the way y/n's hand felt when it was stroking her hair and her cheek, and the comfort she felt whenever she was in y/n's presence.

she loved this. she loved that she had a person who she knew she was safe with, safe to tell anything to.

clarisse was sure that she had never loved anyone as much as she loved y/n.

[ma1dita]

BABEEE happy birthday!! (i'm so terribly late i'm so sorry) congrats on 23💖

🐥 so i'm having thoughts right now about luke x reader and physical affection. like maybe one of them being touch starved and always craving the other person's touch and the other person noticing it and doing it more? maybe from platonic (i will go down with best friends to lovers) to romantic, i'm just on this brainrot tonight

🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

luke castellan x reader

a/n: back from the klerb but here with a classic 4am post 🥂 but the hangxiety wont let me rest until this is out! ill edit this in the morning... or not 😗

wc: 1.1k

—

It’s hard to miss what you’ve never had.

Luke Castellan was never a touchy guy. Sure, he’ll hold a new camper’s hand during welcome tours (especially the little ones who can barely keep up with his long legs; if they’re lucky they get a piggy back ride), and he won’t shy away from a clap on the back when his strategies for capture the flag bring his team to victory (they always do, mind you), and when he feels like it, he’ll even shove Annabeth playfully to show her he adores her (but she packs a punch now that she’s older).

It never really goes past that, and he’s never had to think too hard about it—physical touch.

He’s the one who takes care of others—a part of his nature like it is for Hermes’ cabin to take in unclaimed demigods. But something changed in the months that he’s gotten closer to you. At first, he’d bite his tongue at the way you’re so open to patting his cheek when he does something funny (which he doesn’t try to make a show of, but now…), how you choose to sit so close to him during bonfires that your knees touch (the Apollo kids could be singing about the heavens falling down on them for all he cares but he zeroes in on every word that leaves your lips), and the way you’d lock your fingers with him for a pinky promise after every little thing ‘to make sure it’s real’ (Luke didn’t understand the merit of a pinky promise over whether you could have his dessert for the next week if you took over arts and crafts with the kiddie campers for him; truthfully he’d give it to you anyway). It was unusual for him to have someone comfort him, to show care without a true reason. But he didn’t realize how much more it bothered him now that you wouldn’t even look him in the eye.

Silena and some of the other Aphrodite children had asked you the very defining question of, “Do you like Luke Castellan?” and having never thought of it that way, or being able to put your feelings for him in words instead of fingers in his belt loops or in the muss of his curls—that shit was terrifying!

You spent all Saturday afternoon at the docks with them belly down under the glare of the sun’s rays as they explained to you what the five love languages are. By the end of it, sunburn wasn’t the only reason you felt hot.

“Your love language is physical touch,” one of Silena’s older half-siblings—Connelly, says like he’s explaining that the sky is blue, “And Luke’s not that type of guy! Think he’s more acts of service…”

“Ooh, or words of affirmation….” another one of them muses, but the sound of your heartbeat tunes it all out. Well shit, have you been sending him the wrong signals? Or are there even any signals you want to send him? 

Nevertheless, in the matters of love or even the tiniest whisper of it—maybe there’s no one else you can trust with this stuff besides Cabin 10.

Wrong.

Absolutely wrong. Whatever the hell you’ve been convinced or whatever’s changed since last weekend—Luke just knows he hates it, and he’s angry. He’s angry at how you gasp in surprise every time you brush shoulders during archery practice when you used to let him fix your form, he’s angry at how you’ll squeeze campers’ shoulders to tell them they’re doing a good job carrying the strawberry crates—and all he gets is a mumbled ‘Thanks, Castellan’ when he stacks them up and takes your load.

Luke’s so terribly angry that Travis told him he’s been walking around like a big strawberry, face red and irritated—but not at you. 

He realizes he’s also angry at the fact that he can’t protect you from the onslaught of a rain cloud—or maybe it was the fact that you’re so okay with the rain touching your skin and seeping through your orange shirt like he wishes you’d let him. He’s angry at the way the wind blows your hair into your face and your fingers brush the strands away like he wishes he can. Most of all, Luke Castellan is angry that he didn’t know how good a simple touch could be until he lost it—before he even really got to appreciate yours.

You’re sitting on the opposite end of the row in the amphitheater laughing with your friends and the furrow in his thick brow is a tell-tale sign of his discomfort. Luke doesn’t dare to remember what it’s like before you to be honest—he’d rather give up Elysium instead of having you ignore him like this. He calls your name, a tinge of both anger and desperation until you look over at him, eyelashes kissing your cheeks. The hold you have on him transcends the physical touch of your fingers but he wants, no—needs you next to him.

“C’mere! Why are you so far away?”

Luke hopes it doesn’t sound pathetic, but a crooked grin splits across his face as soon as you make your way over, sitting down and crossing your legs away from him. It’s still too far, even if he can feel your breath on his shoulder.

“Did I do something to make you angry? I…” The words escape his mouth in a jumble—quick wit from his father escaping him, though he knows not to rely on that asshole, god or not. You mutter words that almost escape him too, and he leans in, chasing your hands and putting them in his own until they’re gentle and soft in his lap.

“No, no…. I just… don’t want to push your boundaries. I know you don’t like it when I’m too touchy,” and he thinks his heart clenches a little like how you’re squeezing his hands. Luke shouldn’t feel instant gratification from a subconscious action. He wants to know you mean it with him—that’s what he can’t put into words.

“I….like it when you do.”

You notice the way his fingers tangle tighter with yours, pinkys interlocking with yours. When he lets go, Luke wraps his arm around your shoulders until you’re able to laugh in the crook of his neck. He chooses to place a kiss on the corner of your mouth when your head sways to face him at the silly tune about centaurs and then you realize that Luke loves the way you love him. You wonder if he accidentally missed meeting your lips, but then the noise in your head quiets down when he pulls you closer, lips locking tenderly, intentionally—as they were always meant to.

You both hear a giggle that sounds a lot like tinkling bells belonging to children of Aphrodite. 

For once they were wrong about love. 

Luke’s tongue parts through your lips and meets your own like they’re in a long awaited embrace, dancing and devouring you from the inside out but this, you— are what he can rely on. This, your touch, and how he chooses to let it consume him, never letting go.

[mattslilies]

patience, baby ~ a matt sturniolo fic

or: the one where you test matt's patience a little too much, and he decides to take matters into his own hands.

warnings: smut, nsfw content, dom!matt x sub!reader, degradation, vibrator use/control, edging, a little bit of manhandling (matt holds reader's hands together)

lowercase intended <3

you've always been more talkative than matt. it ran deep in your personality, and you were always a very loud, energetic person. normally, matt didn't mind, as he was content to listen to whatever you had to say.

but today? today was different.

because this time, your consistent chatter had made you end up here, squirming under matt's hold, voice nearly gone from whimpers and cries.

your hips jerked and your head tipped back as matt's hand moved, switching the vibrator sitting directly on your clit to the next setting. your thighs were held open by him sitting between them, making you all the more sensitive.

"matt! it's too much-" your words were cut off by a moan leaving your lips. he didn't even acknowledge the cry of his name, nor your plea, simply using his free arm to hold your hips down as he tormented you.

he felt the sting of your nails digging into the wrist that was gripping your hip, knowing you were fighting the urge to tear the toy away from your oversensitive body. he'd done this twice now, brought you right to the edge, held you there, before cutting all contact.

you let out a choked sob as he flipped the setting up again, adjusting the angle and amount of pressure, and he finally addressed you.

"you just had to interrupt me every time i tried to speak, didn't you?"

he had a small smile on his face, but it wasn't genuine. it had hints of pity in it, but no weakness, no budging.

you tilted your head down to look at him. "i--" your breath hitched, trying to regain control. "i'm sorry!" he just hummed, his eyes looking right back into yours.

"you have no patience, baby. you couldn't let me finish a sentence before you cut me off. "

he noticed the signs of you getting close to the edge again, whatever your response was going to be being cut off by a high-pitched whimper.

"what i had to say was important, wouldn't you agree?"

you nodded frantically, trying to please him, hoping that he would allow you release instead of continuing to toy with you.

"yes! yes, i'm so-- sorry, please!" you were attempting to hide the fact that you were dangerously close, but you were too far gone, and he knew you too well. "matt, oh my god-"

your voice trailed off into a gut-wrenching sob as matt removed the toy from you just before you finished, your hips attempting to follow the stimulation.

in a moment of desperation, your hand that had been clutching matt's wrist moved down to replace the vibrator, but you had no sooner made contact with your clit before matt's hand had snatched your own away.

"are you fucking kidding me? you're in this situation because you couldn't find the patience within yourself to let me finish a sentence at dinner, and you can't even find it to take the punishment? you're pathetic."

the underlying anger in his voice sent a chill through you, and his degrading words caused another whimper to slip through your lips.

he let out a disbelieving laugh, moving to be above you, grabbing both of your wrists and holding them above your head.

"and to think, i was taking the vibrator away because i was going to give you an orgasm around my cock, instead of from a stupid toy, but clearly, you don't want that."

processing his words, your head immediately shook side to side, not wanting him to take that offer away.

"no, please-" you whimpered as his thumb connected with your clit, sparks of sensitivity going through you. "i'll be patient, i pro- promise."

he captured your lips with his, easily dominating it, feeling you gasp against his mouth when he sped up his thumb. he broke away, loving the way your eyes closed in pleasure.

"yeah? you won't interrupt me again?"

"no, no, i- i won't, i swear." your thighs were shaking, it not taking much to bring you back to a peak again.

"i know you won't baby. you'll learn patience tonight, this won't be a problem again."

as you heard the low hum of the vibrator turning back on, you knew you were in for a long night.

a/n: this was lowkey ass. sorry guys i thought of this at 1am yesterday

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist <3

@courta13 @bowsandsturniolos @mqroonsturn @emely9274 @lizzyzzn @mattsbows @mattybsgroupie @sophand4n4 @leah-sturniolo @wr1tingsonthewall @sturns-mermaid @immaqulate @sweetshuga @user1smvtysturniolo

if you would like to be added to my taglist, click here!

[number1jeonginstan]

BABE BABE BABE!! MEANEST DOM DILF! JEONGIN MAKING READER SQUIRT MANY TIMES AND BEING MEAN TO HER, BUT TURNING INTO MUSH TOWARDS THE END!!!

A/N: HI HI HI!! I'm so sorry that this is like MONTHS late, but I wrote you a quick little drabble. When I tell you this is straight PORN it's literally straight porn.

pairing: I.N x afab!Reader

warnings: daddy kink (mb guys...), degradation, one slap, squirting, slight sub!space...

wc: .7k (got bored lol)

mdni!! 18+

“Are you fucking kidding me? Already tired from just cumming on my fingers twice?” he chuckled as your tongue lolled out to the side. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he kissed the side of your neck. 

He moved down to your breasts sucking on your hardened nipple as he brought his hand up to give the other one attention, pinching and gripping it. 

“Too much Innie” you whimpered as he continued to abuse your cunt, his fingers repeatedly hitting that spongey spot inside of you that caused you to whine, your walls clenching down on them. “Need your cock, not your fingers” 

“Baby, I told you, you aren’t gonna get rid of me that easily. I want you to squirt on my fingers like a good girl and then maybe I will give you my cock” 

He went back to abusing your poor hole, his fingers thrusting inside of you as he bent down, running his tongue across your cunt, lapping at the essence of your cum as your legs shook around him. 

“Innie, please it’s too much” you whined, but he didn’t listen. 

“Take it like a good girl or else I won’t let you cum for the rest of the month. Is that really what you want baby? To not even be able to be near my cock?” 

“No, wanna be a good girl for you, it just hurts” you whined, writhing underneath him once again, trying to press your legs together to stop him from abusing your poor little cunt.  

“What did I say?” he growled, slapping your face and then grabbing your cheeks in between his hand, forcing you to stare directly at him, unable to look away. 

“You are acting too much like a brat. If you want to cum that bad, then fucking cum” 

That was the push you needed. You squirted everywhere. Covering the bed, his naked torso, and boxers with your essence. 

He laughed as you squirmed underneath him, trying to run away as his fingers began abusing your poor clit, causing more to flow out of you. 

“Fuck baby, who would of that you were just a fucking slut that just needed to be slapped” he chuckled, kissing your lips. 

“Such a good little girl for me” he whispered into your ear as he used his hand to brush your hair back, allowing him to look at your face. 

You couldn’t even respond, your entire body felt like it was floating his voice entering one ear and leaving the other as you sunk deeper into the mattress. 

“My perfect little girl” he whispered into your ear before kissing your cheek, admiring the mess you had made. 

“Ready to take my cock” he grinned, pulling down his boxers. 

All you could do was nod, unable to fully comprehend what was going on as he caressed your thighs, rubbing himself along your thighs and pussy, capturing your mess with his cock. 

He slowly pushed inside of you groaning at how you were tightening around him, your pussy pulling him in like a fucking vice.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good. My princess was made for my cock, wasn’t she?” he whimpered, pulling your legs around his hips, allowing him to fuck you deeper. He slowly fucked into you trying to find a pace that would cause you to squirt once more. 

You simply whined, barely able to process anything other than the way his cock felt inside of you, repeatedly bullying your G-spot with every thrust. 

“Fuck, taking my cock so well, that’s it”

He kept thrusting inside of you, picking up his pace as he reached down capturing your clit in between his fingers, pinching it as he kissed your lips capturing every moan. 

He could feel you were close, your past orgasms allowing you to get to your edge quicker. Your body seized underneath him, his own starting to feel fatigued due to the only support being his knees and forearms.  

“Fuck, there we are baby. Cum for me, cum for daddy” he moaned as he kissed your neck. 

You couldn’t control it any longer, squirting on his cock as he brutally thrust into you, chasing his own high.

“There we go baby, take my cum, take daddy’s cum” he groaned before cumming inside of you, painting your walls white with his seed.

He fell on top of you, his body pressed against yours, his cock softening inside of you. 

“Gonna clean up?” you whispered into his ear, using your last bit of strength to push away his sweaty hair. 

“Later, wanna lay here with you” he whispered back before kissing your forehead, snuggling deeper into you. 

“Okay, later” 

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Ch. 111: Anya's Mama

So many things for such a little chapter, don't you think?

We saw baby Anya and we finally caught a glimpse of Anya's biological mother.

Something to notice is that they're both wearing hospital gowns, which makes me think they were in the lab and, because of that, we can solidify the theory about Anya being born there. It could be that her mom was pregnant when captured or that they experimented on her and she got pregnant while in that lab. A secret third option is that Anya's mom actually volunteered for the experiments (maybe she was a scientist herself or a family member coaxed her into doing it), although I find this unlikely due to her comment about the butterfly. Either way, I have a feeling we won't know for a very long time.

Mindreading or no mindreading?

Endo chose not to let us know about that explicitly. However, look at this panel:

I don't think Anya's mom is talking here. I think she's thinking this. Because of that, I do suspect Anya can read her mama's mind. She doesn't fully understand it but those words are inside her memory.

However, as you can see in the panel below, we don't see her classic mindreading sparkles. So, it' could also be that she saw her mom getting sad or nostalgic and she wanted to hug her. Kids are very perceptive of their parent's emotions.

If you ask me, I think she was born with that ability. Either her mom was also a telepath who was being studied during her pregnancy or she was experimented while pregnant and gained and passed her abilities to her daughter.

All this makes me consider that maybe Anya wasn't experimented on like many of us believed for a long time. Maybe those scientists were just studying her/observing her in order to understand and try to replicate her abilities. I'm really hoping Endo will go this route, it's less cruel. In any case, keeping someone so young as a case study is still wrong and I don't think Twilight and Yor will like this.

Anya's Mama

I'm talking about Yor, of course.

First of all, I think Endo summed up what motherhood is about in this panel:

It's not exactly that a mom can read their kid's mind, but it's something close. As a mom you get to know your child inside and out. When you take care of them, see them grow and love them with all your heart, you simply learn to "read every part of them."

That's how we know that Yor loves Anya and that she is her mom.

I don't know what happened to Anya's biological mom; she could be gone or still be alive. I'm sure we'll find out eventually. However, no matter what happens, I think Anya will always have that unconditional love from Yor.

There's a prevalent theme about motherhood in sxf: a mother as a safe place. Yor has mentioned it several times; she knows her job is to protect Anya and Anya feels safe when her mama is around (even Twilight notices this.)

I think the bond between them will get stronger as the story moves forward. Come on, it's pretty obvious Anya is Yor's baby, she's already head over heels and she decided she wanted to be a good mother since day 1. Also, a big theme in the story are bonds that are forged, and chosen family. In the story, blood ties sometimes are complicated (look at the Desmonds, for example.)

I'm not fluent in Japanese, but I am aware that Anya calls Yor and Twilight, Haha and Chichi, which is an English equivalent of "my mom and my dad", instead of just "mom and dad." In case you are wondering, Anya did call her biological mom, the right way: "mama."

At some point in the story, I think we will see Anya call Yor and Twilight, mama and papa the right way. I suspect this will be the moment when they will realize they're no longer a pretend family, but a real one. And it'll be simply beautiful 💖

A Few Questions

Whenever we learn something about one of the Forger's past, we are usually left with even more questions like:

Where's Anya's mom now?: I think either she's still a prisoner somewhere or she's dead. And if she's alive, does she know Anya lives?

How did Anya escape? She was so little! She must have had help from someone.

Who is Anya's dad? Maybe a scientist? A prisoner of war? Or was artificial insemination possible back then?

Is Anya her real name? I'm wondering if her mom called her differently. Here are some theories about her name. I suspect this will be important and I wouldn't be surprised if Anya is not her real name, almost as a foil of Twilight's name and story.

And also, there's a gap between that scene/memory and when Anya gets adopted by Twilight. We know thanks to Franky that in the year before Twilight adopted her, she was previously adopted by four different families, however, there's still a chunk of time missing.

I estimate she's probably 2 years old in that memory, she was 4 when she was adopted by those other families, and 5 years old when Twilight became her dad. That leaves 2 full years blank. Where was she during that time?

[mihii-i]

CAN I PLEASE REQUEST A MIZU X FEM READERRR

The reader gets captured by Fowler and Mizu rescues her, the reader is basically another medic, very kind and sweet, polar opposite of Mizu, but she knows Mizu is a woman and the two of them fall in love. Meanwhile when she sees the condition that the reader is in (beat up, used, etc) she literally is like for a second "lowkey I don't need his info lemme kill him." But ofc doesn't do it, comforts the reader, taking off her blue kimono and giving it to her, wrapping her in it and picking her up and carrying her out of the castle <3 while whispering words of encouragement to her. This time it's Mizu taking care of the readers wounds, and she like becomes ringos little assistant to help work on her.

If you want to have them have a pre established official relationship you can! And if it's not too much trouble, please work on this as fast as possible. Thank you so much for your time!

animosity of an onryō.

Pairings: mizu x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, wuh luh wuh, mention of injury, violence, blood, gore, tw fowler he will always be a tw in my eyes, reader got fucking crucified my gods, basically like how taigen was being tortured but worse, guys I’m still recovering from the fact that I found out people ship mizu and fowler unironically sendnhelp, mizu goes genuinely insane like she did in ep 6, mikio is mentioned I hate him more than fowler, I should’ve censored that old bitch’s name sorry guys, not proofread.

A/N: I LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE IM CRAFTING A SPECIALLY MADE MEAL FOR A QUEEN IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME PLACED AS A SPECIFIC TIME BASED ORDER YK also this is how well I write when I’m not rushed and don’t have school and enjoy what I’m writing I’m so glad I have the free time and motivation brain blast to write this rn anyway mizu come home the kids miss u 🕯️

Blurry figures writhed in the line of your fogged periphery, the burning ache of your wrists seared into the wooden board being accompanied by screams of pure anguish and rage in the background. You couldn’t utter a single word as you caught sight of the two people pushing against each other with a heightened murderous intent clouding the area, harboring an awful atmosphere of bloodlust in the vicinity. It wasn’t difficult to immediately identify the figure on your left as Fowler, his broad shoulders and bulky stature quickly making him recognizable.

Coughing out, you uncomfortably writhed against the board, back dragging along the splintering wood as each crimson trickle of blood dampened your clothing. The noise in your ears only vibrated in an agonizing ringing sound, reverberating through every fiber of your body, etching itself into the confines of your skull as your head began to spin from the sheer ache tightening your muscles.

“Where the fuck is she?”

You recognized that voice.

It was one which you found yourself bounding through several stages of affection with. One that you feared, yet also adored. You used every bit of strength you had to tilt your head up, focusing your bleary vision onto the leaner fighter looking up at Fowler with nothing but pure hatred. You were far away from the two, yet you could recognize those piercing blue eyes anywhere, taking note of the bloodthirsty glint that always shone in them at the mere sight or mention of her targets.

You could only watch in your crucified state as Mizu’s elbows dug into Fowler’s push back on her, teeth grinding together as she let out a breaking yell before driving her katana into his shoulder, earning a hiss of pain from his throat. You only found yourself, drowning in the infernal fury of the ongoing fight between them, masking the air with a deathly thirst that could not be quenched.

“You really..really want that damned girl back don’t you? Pitiful little lady wouldn’t even open her mouth no matter what we did, might as well cut her tongue out.” Fowler rasped out, voice morphing into a chuckle gurgling from the blood rising in his throat as he grasped his wounded shoulder. Mizu’s anger only heightened at his degrading words, each movement of her sword against his torso becoming more and more intense as her temper thinned. “Abijah Fowler. You will tell me where (Name) is before I make you regret the very moment you decided to be born.”

Suddenly, a wicked smile quickly replaced the flash of fear in his eyes as soon as it appeared, his head nodding off to the side in your direction as he seemed to raise his eyebrows toward you like some sort of signal. Mizu followed his eyes as she kept her menacing demeanor up, glancing over in the same direction he was locked on. Her eyes widened with nothing but absolute terror.

Her grasp on her sword briefly faltered, almost clattering the metal against the ground as she took in your battered form, loosely hung from the two nails confining your palms into the bloodied wood like a butchered animal. Nearly every single inch of your skin was doused in crimson, various wounds tainting each limb. Whether it was a slash from a knife or a flattened bridge of skin from a hammer, any horrific type of torture that could possibly be conjured up was present across your body.

You parted your lips weakly as you caught sight of Mizu’s racing sights fixed onto you, attempting to call out her name despite the sting that bit at the back of your mangled throat.

“Mi..zu..”

She only felt her heart sink at your brutalized stature, your life barely hanging by a thread as you were practically mauled—rendered to the point of being unable to even scream. A sudden flare of contempt erupted in Mizu’s eyes, feeling a bubbling sensation of fury finally snap within her as she saw you hanging like a ragdoll. Slowly, her head turned back to Fowler, fueled even further by the smug expression plastered across his face.

You couldn’t even register what was happening anymore past the screams, only being able to hear the sodden rips of flesh and blood alongside Mizu’s remorseless onslaught of cries, bashing Fowler in with a blinding wrath which left even her unrecognizable in your view. The well-trained and cold samurai who seemed calculated with every move she performed, no matter how brutal, was now tearing at a man with no coherent thoughts present in her mind—only hate.

The rancorous barrage unfolding before your eyes nearly made your chest ache. Sure, despite your sweet nature completely opposing Mizu’s unfeeling one, you had always acknowledged the importance of her revenge. You knew that she had to kill the remaining three men who had potentially soiled her very existence by bringing a monster into this world, and you were supportive of it.

But this? This wasn’t what she was aiming for. This was just her lusting for blood, seeking to make them suffer more than her own satisfaction required. And it made your pulsing veins nearly run cold and stop.

“Aha. You need me to get to the other two..you can’t get to them without-“

“I don’t care.” She snapped, tightening her hand around the tsuka of her blade to dig through the first layer of his forearm and saw at the bone; earning a scream from Fowler which seemed as if it was elicited from genuine terror and pain this time. You finally hunched your shoulders back to use every drop of energy you had left coursing through you, yelling out for her to stop.

“It’s no..t worth it..stop it, please..”

Your choked out noise almost instantly made the scorching fire within her subside down to a tiny flickering flame, her blade embedded in Fowler’s side pausing at its cut midway. Looking down, it had finally seemed that she had come to her senses, breathing ragged and shallow as she yanked out her katana with a grunt as Fowler toppled to his knees.

Using his immobile state as an opening, she quickly rushed toward you, hands swiftly twisting at the nails hammered into your palms as you whined out hoarsely in pain. Her heart only clenched at your strangled noises, taking your holed hand in hers tenderly as the nails cluttered onto the floor. Mizu wanted to circle her arms around you tightly, squeeze your body against hers and dig her face into the crook of your neck while whispering sweet promises to never let you go again. Yet there was no time to act on what she wanted now. All that mattered was getting you out of that god awful castle where you had been abused past a breaking point.

Your head spun as you focused on Mizu’s face splattered with blood, her worried expression contrasting the violence that she had put on display not too long ago. “It’ll be okay, (Name). Hang on.”

Shrugging off the dark blue kimono fastened by her obi, she scooped your limp body up in the fabric, allowing you to bask in the warmth of her tattered clothing as she held you to her chest.

“I’m sorry.”

She paused, muttering against you once more.

“I should’ve never left you like this. Thank you for being there for me.”

Her uncharacteristically soft whisper brushed over your cheek, hand ghosting the blood seeping through the blue fabric shrouding your wounds, yet she couldn’t care any less about how messy her clothes got. As long as she could get you back.

…

“Now let me be there for you too.”

In one swift motion, Mizu clamped her teeth around the blade of her katana while you were swayed up in her grasp, using her own body to ram into the window and shatter it as the two of you descended down from the ninth level down into the freezing waters below.

Shards of glass flipped through the air, spinning as they scattered in all directions and occasionally grazed your already broken skin. You felt yourself swallowing your own breath in the icy pits of water engulfing both you and Mizu, her arms fastened around you like a lifeline as she held you close. She wouldn’t get caught up in her revenge to let someone precious die. Not this time. Perhaps she had changed from who she once was, transitioning from a cold blooded killer who clear out anything blocking her path, into someone who poured her heart out for a woman who was her polar opposite.

You couldn’t stay awake much longer, the border between life and death currently wavering in and out of sight and disappearing into an uncertain gamble between the two. Eyes shutting as the numbness spread to every inch of your body, you laid back, allowing yourself to be submerged in the blue embrace you had tainted a sickening red.

—

“Is she alive?”

“Master, be patient..she has a pulse but I don’t know if she’s even conscious right now.”

“How can I be? She practically got ripped open by Fowler! Even then these wounds look far too gone to even come close to healing..”

“They’ll heal, trust me.”

Muffled voices exchanged between two people echoed in your ears, a sharp sting interrupting any train of thought you had going on as you became well aware of your consciousness. A sore ache throbbed across every inch of your muscles, contracting tightly as you could quite literally feel the slits ingrained into your body. From what it felt like, they seemed to be stitched up, with a damp cloth pressed against the formerly open wounds.

You slowly blinked open your eyes being met with the dim light of a candle bouncing off the wooden floor. Your back was pressed against a tatami mat as you lay still like a corpse, the biting throb still twitching across your taut muscles. In an instant, you caught the sight of Ringo’s face hovered above yours, his eyes looking off in the distance as his blunt hands were situated on his lap. He was humming to himself while staring elsewhere, possibly waiting for you to wake up.

As soon as he looked back down at you, his expression contorted into one of surprise, delight following up almost instantly. “Master! She’s awake!”

You heard a rush of footsteps thudding across the floorboards, before the silhouette of a lithe woman’s shadow loomed over you, hands planted by her sides. Her slender fingers traced over your battered knuckles, thumb brushing along the torn off ridges of skin still healing before breathing out a long awaited sigh of relief.

“Mizu..?”

She nodded, squeezing your hand a bit and urging you to not strain your voice too much. Her downturned expression harbored a light of vulnerability striking off her cerulean eyes, as if she was mortified at the possibility that she would never see you open your eyes again. Ringo nodded in her direction with a smile, standing up and heading out the front door into the front of the unfamiliar cabin-like structure you were enclosed in.

Wasting no time, Mizu bit at the thread in her hands, pinching the needle between two fingers in the other. “Hold still.” Snaking her hand below your sagged arm, she lifted up with ease, pushing the needle and thread in tandem as you sucked in a breath to endure the searing push of the needle through your skin each time. She carefully stitched up the exposed wound, looking up at your face twisted in pain with her own expression of pity.

Your breathing came out in shallow gasps for air, the wounds still having a profound impact on your body as it was quite difficult to move your limbs without it feeling like being torn apart, much less retain your ability to walk around normally. You found that you were still curled up in her kimono, serving as a sort of padding against your back, layered atop the tatami mat. Honestly, it was a great substitute considering there wasn’t a futon anywhere in sight around here.

Ringo came back in, holding a bowl between his stubby hands as he carefully set it down beside your head to cool, harshly blowing at the steam wafting from the bowl. Once he deemed it was cool enough, he signaled Mizu to lift your head up—to which she did, as he held the bowl carefully, making sure it didn’t slip from his grasp. You swallowed each pour of the soup-like meal down your throat, being able to drink a bit easier after each swig.

—

Ah. What you would do to go back to those times.

You had always trailed behind Mizu with a smile, never leaving her side no matter how many times she had grumbled out for you to leave. Every moment spent with the stoic samurai had held nothing short of your heart racing beside her, as if you were in a realm of bliss no matter how harsh she was with you at times. No matter how many gruesome battles you found yourself walking into at her side, no matter how many times you stood at the brink of death and nearly toppled off the edge, you didn’t regret even an ounce of what you experienced.

For some odd reason, you found yourself captivated by Mizu, drawn in by the cold blue eyed samurai. At times, you even suspected that there was more beneath that ‘unbreakable’ exterior than she was letting on. The two of you had found yourselves closer than you could ever imagine, heart to heart with every wretched and dark secret burrowed in the crevices of your souls, yet still choosing to adore even the most monstrous sides of one another.

Even when you found out that it was a woman who lingered beneath the facade of a man, your view of her didn’t change at all. In fact, your trust only grew, knowing full well you saw a vulnerable side of her that very few had experienced.

You had taken the parts of her she deemed as impure, the parts she kept hidden from others along with the raw hatred engraved into her very existence, and huddled it into the warmth of your affection. Allowing the supposed animosity of an onryō to be hemmed between your arms as you poured our every drop of love you fostered within you to the demon.

You recalled a bunraku puppet show you had once seen, depicting the vexations of a woman who had fallen to once again arise as an onryō. Yet it was clear, that the tempestuous being had only risen from anguish. From the fact that it had been betrayed once, torn apart and trust crumbled right before its very eyes.

Perhaps that’s what you saw in Mizu. A broken woman who seeks nothing but satisfaction, completely shooting down the prospect of happiness at all. Despite how truly shattered she was from the inside, you didn’t mind it at all. You wanted to pick up each shard yourself, piece it back together slowly & carefully. Even if it slit your palms and stained them red.

The supposedly hardened walls she had gradually came down around you, her vulnerability shining through her guarded front. You were right. She had been betrayed by everyone she knew to ever exist, one of them being her late husband.

Mikio. You never knew him, yet his name alone left a bitter taste in your mouth. You promised—no, swore on your own life that you would never betray her in the way that man did. She was your top priority, the only one in this world you would ever feel so strongly towards. So strongly to the point where your bones lit up with a roaring flame of passionate adoration whenever you were in her arms. Mizu was everything to you, and you would rather die than let that change.

Till death do us part was a silly phrase, as you knew that you would grasp onto her, even after your pulse ran cold.

—

“Are you feeling any better?” Mizu inquired, her hand still supporting the back of your head. You mustered up the strength to nod briefly, returning her a smile which made her chest flutter just from the sight. Leaning into her chest, you breathed out a huff of air, clearing up your chest as you were slowly recovering and regaining the ability to breathe. Finally, you were able to speak up, albeit in a strained and raspy voice.

“You know..I never thought that the one whose injuries I always treat ended up treating mine.”

“I suppose that’s life’s cruel way of throwing irony in our face.”

Mizu’s face beholded a somber expression, one that made you tilt your head in confusion as you opened your mouth to ask.

“Hey-“

“I put you in danger. And even then, you endured all that just to stay alive.” She cut you off as if she predicted that you were about to ask her what was wrong, her voice seemingly held up as if it was threatening to break any moment. “I shouldn’t have. I thought that was the last time I could ever tell you that I love you.”

Your still discolored hand reached up to brush against her cheek, to which she was met with a look of surprise.

“(Name)-“

“You know that I would rather die than ever stop loving you.”

Mizu only hummed in response, carefully taking your recovering frame into her arms as she pressed a chaste kiss to your temple. To which you held back onto her with shaky hands, fingers weakly digging into her back.

“Thank you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for my ember.”

A/N: I am deep fried rn this took so long but I love how it turned out I was far too passionate in writing this I’m screaming yippee

I listens to every bes ost while writing this (and ended up crying at some of them) forgive me but this deadass took like a whole ass 5 hours to write but tbf I did take like a 30-40 minute break at some point sooo

Anyway I love this request so much thank you for making a special request too cause that just fuels me to write good ily

[nana-au]

Eren Jaeger Loves Taking Photos of You

₊˚ପ⊹ fluff + smut - MDNI

₊˚ପ⊹ warnings: consensual photo taking, m! masturbation, oral m! receiving,  slight oral f! receiving, p in v sex lol (no protection) 

₊˚ପ⊹ word count: 1.3k

₊˚ପ⊹ not proof read im sowwy

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

Eren loves taking photos of you. 

It reminds him of the first time he saw you - on Sasha’s private snap. You were in pajamas with your hair tied up out of your face. Your hand covered your mouth, obviously mid laugh when Sasha snapped the picture. He felt like he was gut punched, maybe even a little offended Sasha never mentioned you. Why would she? He doesn’t know, but he does feel betrayed. Mikasa was next to you, leaning on your shoulder for the picture. The caption: ‘movie night with these girls’ followed by a heart emoji. Maybe if he wasn’t so enthralled by you he would feel shame for sliding up, asking for your socials. I mean, if you're Sasha and Mikasa’s friend, it was only a matter of time you would be his too. What’s the harm in speeding up the process?

The second photo was a group photo. Jean, Connie, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Eren, and of course you. The group photo wasn’t his idea but he was adament it was taken on his phone. He noted you covered your smile again. He remembered making a mental note at the time that he needed to get you out of your shell. 

More photos followed after the night he convinced you your face was nothing to hide. You two still weren’t together yet, but the tension between you two wasn’t going unnoticed by the group. Your legs would rub against each other when you were sat side by side with him. He found any excuse to touch you. Adjusting your fly away’s, wiping the ice cream off your chin, whispering jokes in your ear to name a few. You did the same, shoving his shoulder when he said something cheeky. Or grabbing his biceps when walking side by side. You swore every time you grabbed him you would never get over how strong he felt. The night he told you he wished you weren’t so camera shy was the night you spilled your feelings to him. How you developed later in life and that you always felt behind your peers. You grew up the odd kid and you still struggled to fathom you weren’t still that awkward girl from high school. It was just the two of you on the loveseat of Armin and his shared apartment. He squeezed your thigh and his genuine eyes spoke to you before his words did. “You are really a sight for sore eyes.”

Even as just friends you felt more loved than you had ever felt from another human being before. Because of this, it felt incredibly natural becoming his girlfriend. The flash of his phone’s camera became more prevelant than before. He insisted taking pictures of you dressed up pretty for your dates or when you were sleeping soundly in his arms.

In the back of his mind he always knew the next step to his new hobby of photography. It came to a head one night with his hands in his pants while he panted against his pillow. His bottom lip was between his teeth and his fist was becoming sloppy imagining you spread open and allowing him to take a picture of it. Afterwards, he wouldn’t be able to get it out of his head, but he was still scared to bring it up to you. He didn’t want you to be uncomfortable - you had only recently stopped shying away from his lense. He couldn’t ruin that for you. But the nights he pondered the mental image of you letting him capture your most delicate moments pushed him to the edge unbelievably fast. His hot cum would shoot onto his stomach and cover his hand. He used to think it was impossible for him to have such a large load until his fantasies started. 

He decided the digital form of your naked body was a no-go. That’s why he bought his first polaroid. He asked for your permission of course,  promising it would be kept between you and him only. He used it during the first time you went down on him. It was hard at first to lift up the camera, he was too lost in the pleasure of your tongue. Your mouth fit him perfectly even though you were nervous he would fit. He knew he would, and he knew you would make him feel this good. He massaged your jaw each time you took him deeper. His fingers lightly stroked your throat as he lined up the camera. Click. He set the photo down next to him, getting ready for the next. “Look at me sweet girl,” he cooed. Your eyes reached his. Click. Another photo joined him on the bed. You were on your knees in front of him, taking him in the back of your throat. You tasted the salty precum every time you ran your tongue against his head. His head lolled back for awhile, basking in the feeling of your tight throat. His hips moved into yours, but only lightly. He didn’t want to hurt you. He wanted to wait till the end to see the developed photos but he couldn’t muster the patience needed. He picked up the last one he took, your doe eyes looking at him with pure love. He groaned, professing his undying loyalty to you and your warm wet mouth. You were such a good girl, wanting to swallow his cum when he came but he knew what needed to happen. He gripped your hair and pulled you off of him, requesting you to close your eyes. He spilled his seed all over your face, cumming loud against your features. When he was done he rubbed his tip against your lips and you opened your eyes, not expecting one final click. He praised you all day about how beautiful you were. That you were meant for the camera. 

You were most nervous for the day he wanted to take pictures of your wet pussy stuffed full with his cock. He spent an hour warming you up for it. Lapping at your clit with his tongue, using his index finger to tease the entrance of your pussy. He wouldn’t give it all to you, making sure to leave restless. Restless and ready. By the time he pushed himself in you were dripping against his cock. If he wasn’t so determined to photograph the moment he could have easily been lost in the bliss of your plush walls. He pushed himself as far as he could go, causing you to mewl out at how deep he was. His hand pressed down against your stomach and he snapped a picture. He allowed to lose himself for the moments it took to development. Skin slapping against skin as you gripped at his thighs. He made sure to praise you through all of it. Your pussy was heaven. You looked so sexy under him. You were such a good girl for letting him savor this for later. He pulled your legs completely over his shoulder, locking you in with one arm. The other lined up for yet another photo of his member deep inside you. He threw the camera down as it developed, going slow and sweet talking you. He needed to let you know how much he appreciated this. He reached down to play with your clit and you were quick to fall apart. You secretly loved the photos as much as he did. Seeing the ones of you taking his cock in your mouth turned you on more than you thought it would. You couldn’t wait to see the ones he was taking and you came hard at the thought of being able to see you stuffed full of him. He rode you through your climax before manipulating your body onto all fours, pounding you hard, determined to cum too. “You were made for me, huh?” He asked and you replied incoherently. Your walls gripped his length at the thought of what was to come; His semen that was about to spill into you.

He thought he would pass out once he finally saw it. His cum spilling out of your folds, you whining at the feeling. He lines up his camera one last time for the day. Click.

[bwat5-blog]

Saying Goodbye: Arcane's Songs Of Grief

**Spoilers For Arcane**

Working on a Jinx post the other day it occurred to me I'd never really delved too much into the music even though it is SO IMPORTANT to the story. This is less critical analysis and more just something that interested me so if you don't care I don't blame you! But I get something out of it every time I get to spend time thinking on and digging into this show, so maybe you will to. This won't be too long as quite honestly I feel that-

A: These are fairly self-explanatory

B: I don't have the mind for lyric/poetry analysis and never have

1. Vi's world falling apart

Goodbye: song by Arcane, Ramsey, and Riot Games Music Team ‧ 2021

So this is the song that plays at the end of season 1 act 1 when we were all collectively saying something to the tune of "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?"

It was a beautiful and tragic moment in the show and seriously set the tone for the rest of the story. I see this song as Vi's perspective as her world is completely falling apart around her.

Vander is dead

Mylo & Claggor are dead

Her possible last interaction ever with her little sister was deeply traumatic for the both of them, leaving her with crushing guilt over her loss of control and hurting Powder

She has literally been kidnapped and imprisoned in an adult prison without cause or trial (there is no pit of hell deep enough for you Marcus)

"I can hear the sound of a heartbeat before it goes out Won't ever leave my memory of bloodshed all around, And I can see a tear on my father's face before it falls out" :

Vi is hearing Vander die and telling us she won't ever be able to shake the memory of all this death and pain. And that comes back around unfortunately...

"Oh, my enemy, how could I have ever let you down?

Oh When all these trees saw us grow Cut our teeth and make our bones right here We'd play with shields made of stone Share our dreams and sit our thrones":

I see this as all about Powder/Jinx and Vi's crushing guilt over how they were parted. The trees watching them grow and the place where they played and dreamed of better days clearly being Zaun. But the line that is so indicative of Vi's trauma here is "how could I have ever let you down". As her guilt over how things happened will go to impact the course of her entire life.

"Be still, 'cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me

Where is my home? I don't recognize the faces anymore, no Where is my friend? The one I've known since I was only just a kid

I think it's time to say goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye, woah":

This entire last section speaks to Vi's future when she returns to Zaun. Her entire world has changed. Powder has become Jinx. Ekko is a rebel leader and a warrior. The demon (don't yell at me Silco people I'm talking Vi's POV) who took her entire world away from her sits in her father's house. And when Vi returns she returns with fury and steel aiming to reclaim what she lost. Until she has no choice but to admit the world she knew is gone. Which takes us into our next song.

2. Jinx loses everyone

What Could Have Been: Song by Ray Chen and Sting ‧ 2021

I'd call this the song that captured the world's attention from Arcane. I mean having Sting alone was huge but this whole sequence was once again so beautiful and horrifying at the same time. Vi spends the whole show trying to get through to Jinx up until this point and you want to believe she is going to pull it off. Jinx is recognizing what Silco took from them, and the Council is starting the vote for Zaunite independence.

But it all falls apart. Silco is dead, and Jinx feels like Vi cannot love her anymore and feels rejected by her after everything that has happened. And this song begins, taking us into Jinx's POV as she lashes out in this moment of terrible grief and loss and angry. I'm not going to do the lyrics for this one like I did above because they are all pretty clear and direct. As Jinx makes the long walk to her destiny and fires the weapon that will destroy her people's chance at independence, she is telling Vi, Silco and the world how they have wronged her.

But the trick with Jinx is to remember she is an unreliable narrator. So when we are with her in this moment seeing it through her eyes we have to remember we cannot take everything at face value. So even though throughout the show we have seen Vi's guilt over what Jinx has become driving her, and after Silco's death Jinx essentially seems to blame Vi for what follows because she cannot "love her like she used to" because they are different. Where does that missile actually go?

I am the monster you created You ripped out all my parts And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw That I needed you more

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been Oh, what could have been

Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been

I am your ghost, a fallen angel You ripped out all my parts I couldn't care what invention you made me 'Cause I, I was meant to be yours

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play

I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play What could have been

3. Death touches Caitlyn Kiramman

I Can't Hear It Now: Song by Arcane, Freya Ridings, and League of Legends ‧ 2024

This song takes us into Caitlyn Kiramman's POV as she is plunged into the darkness of her mothers death at the hands of Jinx. Once again visually and musically it is a stunning moment. There is a notable difference to this one compared to the other two that I wanted to mention.

Vi's song-"Be still, cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands, We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me"

Even with all of the loss and grief and pain in the rest of the lyrics there is a moment of hope. A promise of justice and righteous return

Jinx's song- "I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play What could have been"

Full of anger and blame and hurt . Nothing positive but A LOT of emotion.

Now let's look at Caitlyn's lyrics:

There is an ocean so dark down below the waves Where you watch while these dreams gently float away And there is a silence so soft it's only memory Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me

But I can't hear it now Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning I don't know if I could I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

I just watched as the door closed for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning I don't know if I could I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

Vi and Jinx are full of emotion and pain and loss but they are expressing it, even if it is misguided or negative. Caitlyn is drowning in her grief but trying to force herself to keep going and failing, and blames herself.

"But I can't hear it now ,Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning"-

Caitlyn so badly wants to hear her mother's voice again but she cannot. And she is trying to go on, be the new head of her house, testify before the council and everything else while maintaining her composure when inside she is completely and utterly destroyed. I mean for gods sake, revisit the moment she finally is alone with the person she can show vulnerability with:

it's like she barely makes it to Vi before her legs give out...

"I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open"-

These are the last words of her goodbye to her mother. Not a lament of how the world is changed and she has to say goodbye. Not an angry accusation at those who wronged her. But blaming herself...

Conclusion:

Anyway! I hope you get something out of this. I did by writing it. I love the music of this show, and as a life-long band nerd and music lover seeing a show weave it's music into the storytelling in such an original way was truly special to me. Thank you for reading and take care!