#if u cant tell i dont know what the fuck im talking about
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kennythetrampvamp · 2 years ago
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love saying shit like "tis not so" my favourite thing
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torahtot · 1 month ago
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you can always tell when someone doesn't have maga men in their life and god it makes me angry.. "if you're nice and compassionate you can be the one woman that makes them realize women aren't mean!" my mom bent over backwards for my dad for 25 fucking years he has plenty of other women kissing his ass and it never changed anything. do you really think that before being radicalized they never knew a single kind woman? they were never friends with a nice girl? alt-right men's problem with women isn't just that they've experienced too many mean women and they need to be shown that women can be nice, it's that they think women are inferior and don't deserve rights and don't understand anything so you can do what you want with them. and it takes a lot more than being nice to show someone that you aren't inferior. this isn't a case of being nice even when it's hard for the sake of deradicalization, it's about spending every fucking interaction with someone trying to get them to see you as a human being with value and a functioning intellect while they just laugh and show you that's never going to happen.
i cannot stress this enough: random women are not just going out and Being Mean to men. ur average guy interacts with plenty of women throughout his life- close women amongst their friends and family, casual interactions etc. most people don't start out being shunned by women, they start out being treated as NORMAL. & when they show their disrespect in normal society, it isn't tolerated, but when they go to alt-right spaces (which they're pushed towards online) they're told they're allowed to be as horrible as they want with no consequences because they're entitled to everything. it isn't "women aren't welcoming and the alt-right is so friendly so i'll become alt-right," it's "women don't let me disrespect them and the alt-right tells me fuck them, do whatever you want, you're entitled to it all" and why would you choose the group where you have to be a normal accountable person when there's a group that will reward you for being a shithead who gives no fucks?
the alt-right can afford to be more friendly and welcoming because they can allow bigotry. this can't work the same way for progressive spaces because we can be as kind & welcoming as possible but at the end of the day we have lines where we have to say "this behavior/speech isn't allowed in this space," and for certain people, that just can't win against a space where you can be as nasty as you want. these posts always end with a disclaimer saying "of course being kind doesnt mean you need to tolerate their bigotries" but what they don't realize and what drives me crazy is that women not tolerating bigotry IS the "women are mean" that radicalized them in the first place. they perceive you pushing back on any bigotry or bullshit as you being a meanie and treating them like they're ontologically evil. the 'kindness' they need to be deradicalized is you letting them walk all over you.
idk what the answer is to deradicalizing them and im sure relationships are part of it but you can be as kind as you want and all it will do is destroy you ime. i cant stand to see people (who have never even successfully deradicalized any man by being nice btw they always speak in hypotheticals and not from experience) double down on telling women to do things that will see no results and only hurt them, especially when any woman who has tried can tell you exactly how it went
#being as nasty as possible & shitting on everyone while giving no fucks makes you popular in certain spaces. that's tempting no matter what#to immature ppl. part of growing up is learning that you cant do that and real relationships need you to not do that#but that sucks. you could just ignore it and join the alt-right to be a manchild forever#if ur an asshole who wld u wanna hang out with: ur wife who says please dont be an asshole to me or ur bros who say she's a hysterical bitc#& u did nothing wrong?#if u had a maga dad/brother/uncle & u heard the way they talk about women its never abt being mean lol#it's abt how women are hysterical & sensitive & get upset at everything they do#im so sorry but a normal guy (i know & am friends with many) doesnt simply become an MRA because his girl friends made 1 men suck joke#if a guy truly has no fulfilling friendships with women or girls to the point where some feminist group 'being too mean' can radicalize him#bc he doesnt have any kind women in his life to prove that wrong. he already had issues.#you reach a certain point in your friendship with these guys where youve been SO kind and so supportive and welcoming and played therapist#for ages and then they turn around and say 'im voting trump cuz i like his personality better lol i dont care about rights and that bs'#even if you can deradicalize someone by being kind thats years of insane unreciprocated energy for ONE guy#who will end up being the person who never posts abt feminism except to say i became alt right because women were mean so be nice girls!#nobody tells anyone else to accept full blown bigots in their spaces either much less BEFRIEND them#bc nobody is expected to do this kind of service except women. <3#eat ass.
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theladyfae · 3 months ago
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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shutup-andletme-go · 6 months ago
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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spacedlexi · 2 years ago
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trying to keep all my clemviminnie thoughts contained until i get to episode 3 but
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its hard
#telltale was CRAZY for this btw!! the drama of it all ALWAYS gets me#violet blaming herself for her gf/minnies death. clem helps her open up again. starts dating clem. finds out minnie is still alive?#saved violet telling clem she has nothing to worry about and she'll fight minnie if she has to to keep clem and her loved ones safe#kidnapped violet getting brain poisoned by minnie into turning against clem after feeling betrayed and abandoned by her#saved vi shooting minnie to save clem!!!!!!!!! but cant leave minnie behind because she already left her once and she cant do it again#vi begging minnie to stop trying to fucking kill them but shes too far gone. the 3 of them fight to the DEATH!!!#now add all that to the parallels and dark mirrors going on between clem and minnie in the A plot like the tension is off the charts#plus the parallels you can draw between clem and vi but those are less “you are my dark mirror” and more “we are the same i understand you”#HOW are the girlies not still talking about this#you know what i partially blame myself i dont talk about it enough either. i forget how many things ive left in my wips folder sometimes#UGH its all so good violets route just ads so much Flavor to the clem/minnie plotline its Delicious i couldnt imagine it Not being there#i neeeeeeeed to draw them fighting and being gay and maybe bloody even#if u cant tell i really want to get back to that wip i posted a few weeks ago but im Trying to Restrain Myself#i love forcing myself to take things slow sometimes really makes the brain shift into overdrive#twdg#violentine#it speaks
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b1mbodoll · 1 year ago
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repeating “jealousy is a disease get well soon bitch” in my head every time i block rude anons and delete hatemail so i can try to brush it off but i am not ur strongest soldier so can you all stop being mean 🩷 please
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cavity-collector · 4 months ago
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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pears-trinkets · 5 months ago
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#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today#i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny#like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you#so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME#and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine#because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors#which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart#my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined#even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives#anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said#early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture#which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire#....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do#like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything#all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma#and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names#my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german#i just want to know idk#but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative#i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl#and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either#although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago#i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this#on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left#my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them#but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever#but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era#his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything#my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else
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bangcakes · 1 year ago
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#personal#keep being like. if Only i had talked to him sooner. if Only i had been Friendlier sooner. but its like#Realistically.... probably wasnt ready. and also like. itd have to happen after school was over anyway bc 1. um i need to focus on school#and 2. how Awkward if i asked him out n he said no. or say we broke up or soemthing#like there were weeks i saw him every day. aint no way... i could handle the awkwardness of that#so ok ok ok. everything is fine JFJFJKFKFKFMFMFMFMFMF#i just have to remember not to get in my own head about it#like if i wanna message him i just should.....#its just..... hhhhHHhhhhh whyd this have to happen to me at 29. i could have been a happy spinster thank u NFJFJFJFJJFJFJFJF#but now ik what having an actual crush is like and oh wow is it painful. but also beautiful n fun. i just...... and lets face it this is#more than a crush. like its definitely Like like but i dont wanna say the Real L Word bc it seems..... idk JDJDJJDJD#but ive definitely um.... fallen. ya. ew JDJDKDJKDKDKDKDKS#but im just gonna follow my gut or whatever the fuck has been guiding me bc things have worked out so far#and like it wouldnt have without his participation. like ya....#im just like... what if he Forgets about me or like everything fizzles out#but then its like i Know if i see him again itll all come back.#bc in the summer i tried so hard to get over him (and kinda succeeded)... only to see him again in class and be like oh fuck oh no and the#n That Dinner. that was the final blow. i was so overwhelmed i got lost on the way home#which... the restaurant we were at is less than 10 mins from my house so you can imagine the uh Overwhelmingness#i cant even remember the original point of this but. i think we'll find a way ....... i say we but i should say 'i' bc until he tells me#that he likes me im gonna have to like Not Assume. hhhh#it doesnt help either that ppl were bringing up 'hes just not that into you' on twt bc Now im like#oh God. am i in that kind of situation???? i doubt it tho. i think hes just reserved. GAH. whatever happens happens
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chiistarri · 7 months ago
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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youngestdaughtersyndrome · 2 years ago
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sitting in bed eating cheese absolutely stewing
#so im doing the dishes and heard a knock on the door right. and bc both my parents r downstairs i answer it#and guess fucking what? its the guy i literally switched out of french to avoid because he kept asking me super invasive questions#so im like What the fuck do u want. and he starts this whole pity story about how he was soooo worried when i kept disappearing from school#and how id sometimes come back with bruises and never explained anything to him so he had 'no choice' but to FIND MY ADDRESS and check in#his words btw. this boy told me to my FACE that me having a private life FORCED him to stalk me to my fucking home#and i just saw RED. good thing is that when i get mad i get icy and brutal so i spent five minutes telling this thick skulled idiot that#he has no right to know anything abt me that i didnt tell him and you know what he does????#this audacious motherfucker says Lets not do this on the porch. and then tries to push his way into my fucking house. thats a hard no for me#so i told him exactly what was gonna happen: he was either going to get off my property and stay away from me or i would call the cops#and remove him by force. id like to say that i literally said he had ten seconds to leave or id start throwing punches#and he goes .... Cant we just talk abt this 🥺??? so i break his nose. and i was within my legal rights to do so bc he was trespassing soooo#yeah anyways i just cannot fucking BELIEVE the entitlement and audacity of some ppl. like its my fucking life i dont have to tell u shit !!!#what the fuck!!! why do they always think im playong hard to get like ffs leave me ALONE#so that was my night 😙✌️ i hope he dies !#l
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tealime9 · 7 months ago
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nuh uh
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seiwas · 1 year ago
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I reached fuxkinf 30 tags 😭
the way he’s shaking oh my god kit he’s so nervous i actually feel like crying just — that whole interaction, the laugh, the tears; everything is so vividly thick with emotion oh my GOD
And he cracks a small smile thinking he might cry too?! OH baby i am 😭😭 then he fucking says it ‘you told me to do it scared’ GOOOOOD KIT THAT FUXKING CALLBACK 😭😭 WHAT IT MEANS 😭😭 how he’s listened to you all this time, how he’s carried that lesson with him for YEARS 😭😭
So he’s asking u to marry him scared. That you’d say no. That he’s stutterz godgodgodgodgod *head in hands*
and when reader asks have you asked me ? And he’s like, he was gonna have a speech THEN GETS CHOKED UP ABT IT ARE U SRS RN I THINK IM IN LOVE W HIM 😭😭😭😭 and he’s like ‘maybe ill have to save it for later’ oh GOOOD he rlly would do that. I think he’s just so the type to prepare these things and have it all he thrown to the side in the last minute 😭
And its so real so true. You not needing anything else but just him asking it. To hear him say it. Ih god the devotion
And and and an ddint even get me started when he takes your hand, still shaky, runs his thumb across ur ring finger 🥺 dont eeeeven get me started there ill cry aksmdkdnn and he says ‘ok ill do it’ oh my fod biggest dork ever i love him
GET ON WITH IT HAJIME 😭😭😭😭
Then he kisses where the ring would be 😭🥺😭😭 then looks up at you even while youre scared 😭😭😭 will you marry me murmured into your knuckles oh my god ig my gohs skisbssinsiensincjrnd im gonna pass oUTTTG
Holding himself uprigjt to kiss u properly? Oh i would rusjsjdjdjdjdndn
And their banTER AFTER. How he places the rinf on you. THE BAAAANTERRRRR
His eyes are so soft that you knkw theyre for you <- ARE U KIDDING ME RN . RU FUCKING KIDDING ME RN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im waging wars for him . Flinging myself across the ocean
KIIIIIT I LOVED THIS SO MICH as you can tell lol im barely coherent but like . I loved this so much i have no words
you told me to do it scared
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Iwaizumi was sixteen when he lost all of his fear.
He doesn’t really remember exactly what it was that the two of you were talking about, or when, but he remembers how his voice echoed in the alleyway home — the shortcut, he called it.
Iwaizumi remembers rambling and he remembers that you let him; you were never one to cut him off. He was a good listener, as it could be especially hard to get a word in around people like his group of friends, but you?
Around you? He couldn’t shut up.
He was rambling on and on about something — he forgets what, but it was big for his sixteen-year-old self. Nerve-wracking.
“Are you done?” he remembers you asking, side-eyeing him as you walked.
“Uh, yeah. I’m done.”
“Great. What are you even worried about, Hajime?”
(He still doesn’t know what. It turns out that you were right, and it was so insignificant that he can’t even remember what was bothering him to this day.)
“I don’t know. Rejection. Failure—“
“Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Yes, because Hajime Iwaizumi is known for failing.”
He furrowed his brows. “Don’t be mad that I’m nervous.”
“Scared, Haji.”
“I’m not—“
(You gave him a look and he shut his mouth.)
“So what?” he asked then, dropping his hands in his pockets. You never really knew why he was so good with you, why he talked so much — you never dared question it. “How do I get over it and just do it?”
You smile, shaking your head.
“You don’t get over it. You do it scared.”
“What?”
“Fake it ‘til ya make it, Haji.”
(Iwaizumi doesn’t remember what he did, but he knows he did it terrified; he did it well, too. Passed the test, won the game, cleared the hurdle, got the job. Whatever it was.)
Iwaizumi was sixteen when he lost all of his fear. He’s twenty-eight when it all comes crawling back.
By now, he’s more than a decade older with a bunch of fearlessness under his belt, from spiders put back outside to funny noises in the yard. He’s carding his fingers through your hair on the couch you both picked out, and he hasn’t been this scared in a really, really long time.
(Probably not since you told him that he just needed to do it.)
Iwaizumi is scared because, for the first time in the three months he’s been carrying your ring in his pocket, he really wants to fucking give it to you.
He’s always wanted to — no shit, it’s why he bought it — but tonight is the first time he wants to ask you. He doesn’t just want to picture it on your finger, he wants to feel it against his hand when he holds yours.
The same movie you’ve seen four times plays on the TV. You’re leaned right against him; your eyes are heavy, you’ve yawned a few times.
Half of him wants to do it, half of him knows it’s late.
It’s just — it’s you in his shirt, in his sweatpants, in his arms. He has been yours for way too long to not have done this sooner, but neither of you have ever been in a rush to do anything.
Until now, half past midnight on your long weekend and all he wants to do is plan a wedding.
Iwaizumi can’t even sit in his imagination for long, because soon enough you’re sitting up with a look of confusion and you’re lifting his hoodie up, putting a hand over his heart.
“What?” he says, half a breath and half a laugh.
You look … concerned. He can’t tell whether he thinks it’s cute or distressing. “You don’t feel that?”
“Feel what?”
“Hajime, your heart is racing.”
“Is it?” he asks. He sets his hand beside yours. “Nope, don’t feel it.”
You roll your eyes, yanking his sweater back down as you sit at his side. “Well, something is making you two steps away from arresting right here. Spill before I call an ambulance.”
“It’s nothing, seriously. Watch the movie, will you?”
“But I’m nosy, damnit. Don’t you know me at all?”
God, so fucking well. Somehow, not well enough. Tell me more. Tell me everything I already know.
“It’s nothing!”
“Hajime,” you say, and finally your voice is stern. “Whatever you want to say, you know I could never be mad at you for it.”
Iwaizumi takes a deep breath. The box in his pocket feels like it’s made of fucking lead.
“I—“
“Stop. It.”
(He does. He stands up instead.)
“Okay, wait,” you start again, “I didn’t mean leave.”
“Give me a second, damn,” he groans, dusting off his pants, checking it’s still there. Of course it’s still there, but if it wasn’t, this would be bad.
Iwaizumi knows you deserve a thousand flowers and a candle-lit beach, and maybe he’ll give you both. But he’s neck-deep and the water is rising; it’s now or within the next hour, really.
“Hey, are you alright? You’re pale,”
“I’m fine,” he reassures you. Iwaizumi kneels in front of the couch.
“Hajime,” you say again, face contorted in worry. “Seriously, are you—?”
You don’t just trail off, you jump off the road.
In one of his hands is a box. A small one, fitting for a ring. His other hand rests on your knee.
“Are you—“
“—dead serious? Yeah,” he says, sounding way less strong than he looks. “I am.”
He opens the little box, showing you what’s inside. It’s in your colour, a pretty diamond glistening beneath the warm light of your table lamp and the movie. You swear you even mentioned that shape once, probably years ago.
“No,”
“Yeah,” he says, “yes.”
“Are you serious?” you whisper, feeling your tears jerk to the surface, rimming your eyes. You rest a hand on his.
He’s shaking.
“Hajime,” you laugh, wiping a hand under your eye. “You’re shaking.”
He sighs.
“I know,�� he nods. Iwaizumi cracks a small smile — he thinks he might cry, too. “You told me to do it scared.”
Your brows furrow and unfurrow in the matter of a few seconds. Yeah, you did say that.
(You were sixteen and talking about less major things, but you did say that.)
“So I’m doing it,” he finishes. “Scared.”
“Scared of what?”
He shrugs. “That I’d stutter when I ask you to marry me. Or that you’d say no.”
You smile. “Have you asked me?”
“Not yet. I was gonna make a speech, but I,” he slows. He stops — he has to, he’s getting choked up. “I might have to save it for later.”
“I don’t want a speech, I wanna hear you say it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” he says. Iwaizumi takes your hand in his shaking hold, his thumb swiping over the top of your ring finger. “I’m gonna do it now.”
“Get on with it, Hajime.”
You’re unmistakably excited.
Iwaizumi kisses where the ring will be if you tell him yes. Scared and all, he looks up at you.
(He speaks the words you’ve been waiting for into your skin. Will you marry me? murmured into your knuckles.
You don’t even tell him yes. Not coherently, anyway.)
You throw yourself into his chest and he has to hold himself up against the coffee table behind him to kiss you upright.
“Yes,” you answer again, over and over. “Even if you were scared to ask.”
“It just means I love you, doesn’t it?” he murmurs, taking your hand and moving it back in front of him. He slips your ring onto your finger. “Just scared on the off chance you were gonna spit in my face—“
“Shut up,”
“Hey, don’t talk to your fiancé like that.” Iwaizumi hesitates, looking up from the ring to your face. His eyes are so soft that you know they’re for you. “That has a ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“Fiancé,” you repeat. Husband to be.
“Yeah. That does sound pretty good, doesn’t it?”
“Just imagine how I think fiancée sounds, honey.”
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“And look — you didn’t even stutter.”
“Oh, come o—“
“Careful what you say, now. Happy fiancée, happy life, Hajime.”
“I don’t think that’s the saying, but okay.”
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note; tagging @shotorus because this is your man :3 happy late birthday sel!
#pls read this#hq!!#hajime#oh my god kit. oh my god. KIT. the way i cried reading this. and for u to dedicate this to me too oh my god im actually BAWLINGN#the title alone has me by the throat i swear to god!!!!!! i love premises like that.#him rambling and you let him? oh my heart cant take this cANNOT and the idea of exceptions !!! of acting diff around you oh GOD#how he’s a listener w his friends but w you wont shut up ?!?!! IM ACHINF . i love that so much and is such a darling resd on him 😭#i truly think he’d only be super talkative w people hes super close to/feels safe being that way with 😭#i also think he looks calm and put together all the time bur is lowkey a worryrat and srsly considers EVERYTHING. 😭 i think he’s like oikawa#and i love how he cant even remember what it was — bc it was that insignificant !!! EXACTLY !!!#also calling him haji? PRICELESS . my heart will burst and die . my absolute FAVOURITE nickname for him oh my god#whatever it was — he did it terrified <- KIT PLS I LOVE THAT SO MUCH . i looove that . because hajime is an image of tenacity for me#he persists and persists despite being scared . despite it being hard . oh ym fod your characterisation of him here i could actially cry#YOU ARE SO RIGHT about spiders and noises . he is def the guy to call 😭 goes out w a slipper for roaches too 😭😭#but my god seeing him scared now at 28 its !!!!!! doing smth to me !!!!! aching my heart !!!! twisting it#and FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3 MOS HE’S CARRYING THE RING AND HE RLLY WANTS TO GIVE IT TO YOU HelllOOOUGHHHH ?!?!! IM FUCKING CRYINF#no shiTTTY UTS WHY HE BOUGHT IR 😭 he doesnt just want to picture it he wants to feel it <- oh my god kit if i could just . please . CRYING .#you in everything that is him and him being yours for way too long oUGH i loved that line sk much kit gonna have it tattooed on my ribcage#half past midnight on your long weekend and all he wants to do is plan your wedding 😭😭😭😭😭😭#and how he cant tell whether you look cute or distressing . UR HONOUR HES IN LOVE jakdjd i adore the bits abt his heart racing too😭😭😭😭#its so cute and reader is so sweet and hajime is soooooo hajime 😭😭😭 how he’s so nervous oh my god please give him to me#‘is it ? nope dont feel it’ PFTTTT TKAMSKDJD LOSER snjxjd kit u know how much i love ur dialogue aksnjd their banter and chemistry is so cur#cute* & omg how he knows u so fuckif well. sometimes not enough. tell him more . everythinf he alr knows . oh god#if intimacy could be explained in a single paragraph kit. it would be that. sjznsjd hes so nervous i want to squish him#how he checks if its still there?!?! give me a sec dammit?? ph my god and how he truly wants to give u more bc u deserve more but HE CANT#HE JUST CANT HELP IT . HES SRSLY THINKING FK IT . hes neck deep and the water is rising 😭😭😭😭#and the exchange if disbelief oh my god kit i love love love raw moments snd this feels so real . so unrehearsed . UGH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS#the fuckin BOX WHILE HIS Hnd rests on ur knee oh my fod illc ry ‘dead serious’ he answers too quickly akdjsj less strong than he looks!!!#im crying . the shape the diamond the everythinf akxnjs the thought he put into it for you oh god i could CRY .#the gradual transition to tears !!!!! even when you’re saying the same thinf ‘are you serious?’ oh god i could cry i am actually crying
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fardf150 · 11 months ago
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ig my problem is that when ppl who ive never spoken to who dont and will never have a reason to refer to me ask my pronouns it feels too much like the "are you a boy or girl" question. like im cool when theyre asking everybody bc they plan on knowing and talking to all of us. but when they approach me and only me and i dont know them it's like Oh youre just uncomfortable with the fact that i confuse you and you need to be able to classify me
#also it's always cis ppl who do this. lol#ik they dont mean it like that and ik they think theyre being Progressive and Accepting#but it makes me feel unsafe. tbh. like theyre jst telling me that they Know#and i need to either out myself or lie and misgender myself#kind of why i dont tell anyone unless weve spoken before and they ask#much more comfortable to have plausable deniability while not rly forcing myself into the closet#i present the way i do for Me not so you can come up and say 'hey youre confusing and weird what should i call you'#like leave me aloneeee#and it's kind of insulting bc im as much a butch girl as i am a trans guy and it feels like i cant rly be that first one anymore??#like i Am trans but not every percieved girl who isnt feminine is and same with nonmasculine percieved boys#and unless that person tells you they are or someone who knows the person refers to that person that way then you shouldnt assume#idk. like it feels too close to those 'transvestigators.' even with the best intentions why are you looking so close?#like my cis dad actually made a rly good point abt it once#he was @ an orientation when he went back to college and everybody had to write their pronouns on their name tag#and obv he had the whole Old Cis Dude thing of 'im a dude cant u tell'#but also he was like 'why do you need to talk about me. when im talking to you my pronouns are you/yours and i/me'#like yeah!! why ARE you talking about me???#teachers i kind of get bc sometimes when bringing up a point someone made or saying whos in a group they use the 3rd person#but fucking Stacy sitting behind me in chemistry or some shit doesnt need to know#if u rly need to refer to me idk maybe ask what my name is??? or just say 'that person.' it's not hard.#like this last bit is just a Me thing bc both r technically correct. but id rather have someone assume one way or the other#They'ing me w/o me telling u to when u dont do that to other ppl might as well be outing me w/o us ever speaking#like i dont like being theyed for other reasons and generally i do think it's one of the more respectful options if you dont know someone#but dont!!! only refer to visibly trans/gnc ppl that way!! ur not being nice and depending on the place u cld even be putting us in danger#fred.txt
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kn11ves · 11 months ago
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paranoia hell is knowing that you have loved ones who talk to your other loved ones about things you have done or said that hurt them and you Dont Know . You Dont Know
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lateatnewyork · 5 months ago
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GEN Z ON THE TRACK! 001
pairing: f1 grid x antonelli!reader, ollie bearman x reader
summary: the newest addition to the f1 track... is gen z through and through
extra information: kimi antonelli is your younger brother, you're reserve for mercedes, george broke his arm so you're stepping in. you and ollie have rivalry. (you can imagine u raced for any f2 team)
fc: no one
ynantonelli
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liked by kimiantonelli, georgerussell and 503,298 others guess whos on the track for the rest of the season 🥳 view comments
lilyzneimer my favourite driver! ➥ ynantonelli my favourite mclaren person! ➥ oscarpiastri excuse me?? ➥ landonorris i thought we had something yn 😞 kimiantonelli thank god shes gone from here ➥ ynantonelli 🙄 paularon cant wait for the peace olliebearman (we're cheering cos youre gone) ➥ ynantonelli fuck you too this comment is deleted ➥ ynmywife NOT THE PR TEAM COMING FOR YNS ASS mercedesamg so excited! lewishamilton 😎 ➥ ynantonelli cant wait to over take you! logansargeant pls spare me ➥ ynantonelli no one is safe ❤️ yukitsunoda yipee ➥ ynantonelli yipee! charlesleclerc dont run me over ➥ ynantonelli no promises you fraternize with dogs ➥ olliebearman YN IM NOT A DOG ➥ ynantonelli your words not mine ➥ ynantonelli i was talking about leo alexalbon YAYY ➥ alexalbon this is lily i lost my phone ➥ ynantonelli LILY! ➥ ynantonelli leave alex. ➥ alexalbon yn its me again wtf?
f1updates
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liked by ynantonelli, mercedesamg and 349,284 others YN Antonelli retires from the rest of the F2 season to race for Mercedes-Amg in Formula 1. Antonelli is stepping in for George Russell who broke his arm for reasons we still do not know. We wish YN the best of luck in Formula 1. view comments
ynloml wishing luck to the drivers instead ➥ ynmywife FR user09 who was she on top of in the first picture? ➥ user59 nah man yn was holding kimi up ➥ user42 yeah shes crazy strong
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f1wags
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liked by f1updates, f1gossip and 492,481 others yn antonelli seen with a man before her home race in Italy. view comments
kimiantonelli ok what ➥ user09 even kimi didnt know 😭 ynloml NOOOOOOOOOOOOO ynsno1fan this feels like an invasion of privacy
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olliebearman
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liked by paularon, kushmaini and 144,537 others she took these if u care view comments
ynantonelli no one cares ➥ olliebearman no one asked ynantonelli ew ➥ olliebearman says u ynantonelli jumpscare ➥ olliebearman dont u have a boyfriend ➥ ynantonelli cant believe u have a girlfriend charlesleclerc i have a daughter in law?? ➥ oscarpiastri i have a sister in law?? alexanderasaintmleux tell her to come over ➥ kimiantonelli YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS ➥ landonorris pls tell us paularon cutie ➥ ynantonelli oh! ➥ paularon so its ok when u do it to ur friends but not when i do it ➥ ynantonelli yeah? ➥ paularon flipping sexism user09 YN AND OLLIE GONE?! ➥ user48 my ship broke and sank like the titanic ➥ ollieyn what if theyre dating each other ➥ danielricciardo nice try they hate each other ➥ user59 DANIEL?????
livef1updates
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liked by lilymhe, mercedesamg and 239,482 others live from the Imola GP, YN Antonelli's radio comments are disabled
ynantonelli
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liked by maxverstappen, charlesleclerc and 693, 529 others lando we can be world champion i said view comments
maxverstappen can u delete the middle picture pls and thank you ➥ ynantonelli nope ❤️ charlesleclerc the caption 😕 ➥ ynantonelli i told u no ones safe kimiantonelli im telling mama u drank champagne ➥ ynantonelli im telling her about you then ➥ ynantonelli and your actually underage olliebearman congratulations i guess ➥ ynantonelli thanks i guess ➥ oscarpiastri wtf just happened ➥ paularon ^ ➥ kushmaini ^ ➥ arthurleclerc ^ ➥ kimiantonelli ^ ➥ landonorris you guys are gonna ruin their one civil moment lewishamilton good job 😎 ➥ ynantonelli thanks lewis ! maxverstappen cannot believe u beat me ➥ ynantonelli girl are just better ! ➥ landonorris real! ➥ maxverstappen lando you're not a girl alexanderasaintmleux YAY ➥ ynantonelli ILY kellypiquet so proud of u bby ➥ ynantonelli 🥹🫶 lilymhe cant believe how far you've come ! ➥ ynantonelli STOP ILYSM
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ynantonelli
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liked by olliebearman, lilyzneimer and 739,481 others when the plans make it out of the grid (i didnt invite ollie) tagged: kimiantonelli, lilymhe & alexalbon, arthurleclerc, logansargeant, totowolff, lewishamilton, olliebearman, oscarpiastri & lilyzneimer, paularon view comments
user09 i wonder what a grid hangout looks like ➥ ynantonelli it has: kimi almost falling off the boat, alex almost falling off the cart, arthur getting pushed into the sea, logan thinking he got stung by a jellyfish, lewis teaching toto how to ride a bike, ollie being scared of horses, oscar and lily being in their own world, and paul being too busy taking photos to order his food paularon bro posted the worst photo of me ➥ ynantonelli news flash: you look like that all the time lilyzneimer YOU'RE SO GOOD AT TAKING PHOTOS ➥ ynantonelli ur so photogenic its super easy 😍 ynantonelli guys charlesleclerc and alexanderasaintmleux came too ➥ ynantonelli they just had to leave early cos leo didn't like paul ➥ paularon pretty sure he didnt like ollie ➥ olliebearman nah bro pets love me especially cats its prolly kimi lilymhe STOP SO THATS WHY U LEFT EARLY ➥ ynantonelli idk what ur on abt kimiantonelli cant believe both u n ollie left early to go to ur bf/gf ➥ kimiantonelli wait kimiantonelli YN ANSWER MY CALLS ➥ ynantonelli no ❤️
f1updates
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liked by olliebearman, susiewolff and 591,284 others YN Antonelli wins Singapore GP ahead one lap of everyone else. She kept the lead since lap 7 of a 62 lap race. After her win, she jumped out of her car and jumped into F2 driver Oliver Bearman's arms. The two were believed to have shared a rivalry on the track during YN's F2 days, but perhaps that rivalry was all fake. view comments
kimiantonelli nah bro she dead user09 THATS ACTUALLY CRAZY user82 i need time to process this ynmywife so the rivalry wasnt real 😭 paularon ok what ollieyn YES user54 the one race kimi's not in the garage 😭 totowolff what ➥ user58 bro calling the pr team asap landonorris what did i tell you user28 I TOLD YOU ALL
Tiktok:
comments:
user58 ok but she looks so happy ➥ user32 fr user11 the way ollie twists her to hide her from the cameras user41 height difference i need 😣 user53 theyre so hot user92 wait so whos the wag ➥ user42 deffo ollie user43 kimi prolly fuming ➥ user98 what is he gonna do hes like 5'6 😭 user48 they havent said anything yet the interviews are in a bit
ynantonelli
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liked by olliebearman, lilymhe and 729,381 others loverboy ❤️ comments are disabled
olliebearman
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liked by ynantonelli, alexanderasaintmleux and 492,583 others lovergirl ❤️ view comments
kimiantonelli im gonna run u off the track ➥ premaracing no u wont paularon kimi's gonna kill you user09 THE FIRST PICTURE IM FOLDING oscarpiastri who taught u how to take such good pictures ➥ olliebearman yn 😭 charlesleclerc MY DAUGHTER IN LAW ➥ alexanderasaintmleux nuh uh shes my daughter only alexalbon crazy u didnt even tell me logansargeant this is a wild revelation kushmaini im scared for u dude premaracing our favourite driver and wag ➥ olliebearman ynantonelli they called u a wag u gonna take that ➥ ynantonelli pretty sure they called u a wag ➥ premaracing ^ lilymhe YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTEEE lilyzneimer oscarpiastri learn how to take pictures like that pls ➥ oscarpiastri ok 😞 ynantonelli ollie baby u were meant to turn the comments off 😭 ➥ olliebearman oops ynantonelli i love you ➥ olliebearman i love you too
a/n OSCAR WON YIPEEE i lowkey feel bad for oscar tho like the way lando ignore him on the podium, mclarens lowkey messed up for this
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