#much more comfortable to have plausable deniability while not rly forcing myself into the closet | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fardf150 · 10 months ago

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ig my problem is that when ppl who ive never spoken to who dont and will never have a reason to refer to me ask my pronouns it feels too much like the "are you a boy or girl" question. like im cool when theyre asking everybody bc they plan on knowing and talking to all of us. but when they approach me and only me and i dont know them it's like Oh youre just uncomfortable with the fact that i confuse you and you need to be able to classify me

#also it's always cis ppl who do this. lol #ik they dont mean it like that and ik they think theyre being Progressive and Accepting #but it makes me feel unsafe. tbh. like theyre jst telling me that they Know #and i need to either out myself or lie and misgender myself #kind of why i dont tell anyone unless weve spoken before and they ask #much more comfortable to have plausable deniability while not rly forcing myself into the closet #i present the way i do for Me not so you can come up and say 'hey youre confusing and weird what should i call you'#like leave me aloneeee #and it's kind of insulting bc im as much a butch girl as i am a trans guy and it feels like i cant rly be that first one anymore??#like i Am trans but not every percieved girl who isnt feminine is and same with nonmasculine percieved boys #and unless that person tells you they are or someone who knows the person refers to that person that way then you shouldnt assume #idk. like it feels too close to those 'transvestigators.' even with the best intentions why are you looking so close?#like my cis dad actually made a rly good point abt it once #he was @ an orientation when he went back to college and everybody had to write their pronouns on their name tag #and obv he had the whole Old Cis Dude thing of 'im a dude cant u tell'#but also he was like 'why do you need to talk about me. when im talking to you my pronouns are you/yours and i/me'#like yeah!! why ARE you talking about me???#teachers i kind of get bc sometimes when bringing up a point someone made or saying whos in a group they use the 3rd person #but fucking Stacy sitting behind me in chemistry or some shit doesnt need to know #if u rly need to refer to me idk maybe ask what my name is??? or just say 'that person.' it's not hard.#like this last bit is just a Me thing bc both r technically correct. but id rather have someone assume one way or the other #They'ing me w/o me telling u to when u dont do that to other ppl might as well be outing me w/o us ever speaking #like i dont like being theyed for other reasons and generally i do think it's one of the more respectful options if you dont know someone #but dont!!! only refer to visibly trans/gnc ppl that way!! ur not being nice and depending on the place u cld even be putting us in danger #fred.txt

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