#what am i doing to deserve this like please give me a valid answer so i can fix it im so tired of being sad and mistreated and bullied :(

[b1mbodoll]

repeating “jealousy is a disease get well soon bitch” in my head every time i block rude anons and delete hatemail so i can try to brush it off but i am not ur strongest soldier so can you all stop being mean 🩷 please

[leah-lover]

Comfort. Mapi x Ingrid x reader.

Smut 18+

You loved your job. Being a surgeon brought you glory, validation, the opportunity to help others, and make your environment proud of you. However, it introduced a great amount of fatigue, grief, and mental overstimulation.

Today was especially hard, you had lost 2 patients in the span of 3 hours. Once your shift was done, you hurried home to find any sort of comfort.

When you got home, you showered and curled up in bed immediately. Your girlfriend wasn't home yet, they still had a few hours of training. You didn't realize you had fallen asleep, you woke up gently after you felt a dip in the bed. You felt mapi’s soft touches on your hair before you opened your eyes to look into hers.

As soon as you saw her you moved closer, persuading her to open her arms for you and hold you. You situated yourself on her chest, and she positioned herself on the head board.

“ Rough day amor?” She whispered softly.

“ 2 died.” You respond.

“ Nena, it's not your fault, okay. You did your best.” She reassured you by giving small kisses to your temple.

“ Need Ingrid too please.” You ask .

“ She will come up any second now.” She responds.

She didn't lie, it only took Ingrid a couple minutes to come to your bedroom. When she enters the room you feel mapi mouth something to her. She then comes to the other side of the bed and lays next to you.

“ I am so proud of you for pushing through the baby.” She says before she too kisses your temple.

You needed more than they were giving you, but you were too shy to ask for it. Ingrid noticed you open your mouth and close it a couple of times.

“ Baby what is it?’ she asks while looking you in the eyes.

“ Nothing. It's nothing.” You say trying to shut her down.

“ You know I don't like lying.” She claps back with a stern look.

“ I don't want to be too much. I already bought this gloomy mood on you and I didn't ask you how you were doing it.” You say hesitantly.

“ Baby I won't repeat it again, what did you want to say?” She asks again without losing her serious expression.

“ I need more of you. I want more from you.” You say looking in her eyes.

“ Maria, I think our love doesn't know how much we love her.” Said Ingrid to Maria.

“ Yeah the hesitation to ask us for attention isn't something that should happen again I don't think.” Answered Maria from behind you.

“ I think she deserved to be taught a lesson about how much we love her, no?”

You see the world flying between them without any of them opening their mouths.

You then feel mapi slide from behind you leaving only the pillows to support your body. You reposition yourself only for Ingrid to hover on top of you.

“ Hi.” She whispers before giving you small sweet kisses. She knew that when you were in this state it was easy to overwhelm you. She wanted to move as slow as possible at first.

She gradually moved faster, more dominant, and hungrier for you. You moved at her pace tugging her body more on top of yours needing something to grind on as your core becomes more greedy.

Ingrid then moves to your neck leaving bruises and pink spots all over it. She helps you strip off your shirt and bra before moving to care for your breasts, giving each one as much care as you wanted. She doesn't leave any part of your body unmarked, or kissed, or touched. Your mouth hadn't been closed since she started, allowing for the smallest moans and whimpers to escape your lips.

Ingrid noticed your back starting to arch so she asked you her usual question.

“ What do you want, baby.” She asked looking up at you.

“ You.” You whisper breathlessly.

“ More words Nena.”

“ I want your mouth on me and your fingers inside me.” You whisper shily.

Inggrid didn't wait any longer doing exactly as you say.

She put her mother on your clit and pumped 3 fingers inside of you. With both being on the same rhythm you were quick to become a mess. Your moans were getting louder by the minute. “ Can I come please please please?” You ask Ingrid.

“ Don't ask me “ she responds before resuming her actions.

You look over the room trying to find maria. You find her on the couch adjacent to your bed. She was naked, her hand massaging her breasts, her legs wide open, and her core dripping. She was laser focused on Ingrid who was between your legs while touching herself.

“ Mapi, please can I come please.” You beg her.

“ Only if you moan my name while coming.” She demands.

After hearing that Ingrid sped up her pace. You start to uncontrollably moan Maria's name louder and louder before you come.

You were blissful when you came back down from your high. When you opened your eyes you found Ingrid making out with Maria. Maria wants to be as loud as you. She quietly.

You noticed mapi putting her strap on after she was done and started to look at her with worried looks.

“ I know you are sensitive today baby. This is for the princess.” She resured you.

Feeling cold you put on Ingrid's shirt which was tall because she was.

You moved to the side allowing for more space to the couple.

They start making out again In Front of you, Maria playing with Ingrid's hair after releasing it from the ponytail it was on.

They were both standing on their knees, whispering words to each other you couldn't hear. You loved seeing them act like the couple they were before you came. They have a deep sense of understanding of one another without letting you feel left out.

Maria then flips Ingrid so that her strap lines with Ingrid's ass. Ingrid throws her head on Maria's shoulder when she starts inserting her strap in her. Ingrid went loud either she just moved her mouth without making any sound as mTia worked her way inside of her. Your eyes never left them as Maria worked her way harder and faster inside Ingrid soliciting a few moans from her.

“ Enjoying the show amor.” Asks maria.

“Uhmm.” You respond, your mouth open.

“ I want to come mapi '' Ingrid didn't bed Maria but when she demanded to come the former allowed her.

“ Look at our baby while you do.” She said,

Ingrid looked eye contact with you as she fell forward after her orgasm hit her.

Maria them disposed of her strap and next to you. She opened her arms for both you and Ingrid. You both simultaneously lay on her chest.

“ Are you okay?” Ask you, Ingrid.

“ Yeah.” You respond.

“ I love you “

“I love you too “ they both say at the same time.

[sstarlessstay]

seeing each other after a break up: bang chan

this post has been requested as a continuation to the short concept i wrote, you can find it here, so you will understand the plot. also thank you @iwaplant and others anonyms in askbox for the request. i hope you will love it.

author's note: take napkins and forgive me for such a slow hurt comfort.

before becoming his partner you were his friend. one of those who stayed aside, watching him loosing other friends when they debuted, watching him getting angry and upset and working even harder. that is why even after your break up, it was not the end for you. you didn't even feel that is was a break up. you felt that there were too many things unsaid and you waited him to clear everything up.

coming back to the dorms where you two and others used to spend time turned out to be harder, as it was too quiet. chan greeted you with the smile on his face, though there were no hugs, kisses and headpats.

you simply worked on the tunes that bangchan wanted to show you. among the unususal and rather hurting things, the positive one remained, chan still asked your opinion and advice with tunes and music. however, everything else beside became painfuly awkward.

"chris, can we talk?"you finally asked breaking an awkaward silence.

"yeah, sure." chan answered cheerfully.

"i mean, can we talk about us?" you asked again and he silently nodded, hiding his eyes down, looking at the floor.

"chris, just look me in the eyes and say that you don't love me anymore." you decided to ask him directly. you raised you eyes to look at him.

"i can't do that." he shook his head, avoiding your eye contact.

"okay, then... did you meet someone else and fell in love with them?" you asked again, hiding your hands in your sleeves.

"no-no, baby." he looked at you and froze for a moment, realizing he called you baby. just like in old times. bangchan felt stupid.

"okay, I am just trying to understand, why we broke up? don't tell me that it is company policy, I won't believe it, you've told me the rules." you asked looking at him. betraying feeling of giving up to tears clenched yourt throat as if waiting for you to burts in tears. "did I do something wrong?"

"you were beautiful. everything I ever wanted." bangchan said softly. he was still hiding his eyes. aching feelin inside his chest started to spread to all body.

" then, please, ... tell me why did you break up with me? Because not knowing what did I do wrong breaks my heart." your tears started to break through as your voice cracked when you asked. Bangchan immediately noticed it and leaned close to you, as if wanting to hide you in his embrace, however he didn't even touch you, stopping at the last moment. you felt like crying louder when he stopped.

"love..." his voice was soft, as if trying to comfort you. bangchan finally touched you by cupping your face in his warm hands. he tilted his head to look into your eyes. "my feelings are the same, I don't think I will ever stop loving you and I miss you even more now, but every time I keep thinking what you get back." he said softly. his voice trembled. "you know what I mean - stalking, threads and hate. all of this when I can't protect you properly. i can't even show my love properly. I am just trying to let you go. because, baby, you deserve so much more."

"but what if I don't want more?" you asked him, looking him straight in the eyes. Bangchan closed his eyes as he couldn't bare to look you in the eyes. "Why are you trying to decide it instead of me?"

"baby..."

"i've spent all week thinking I am not enough, chris. i've spent all week thinking that you don't want me because stray kids don't need scandals. and that was one of those things I found really valid. because I would never stand between you and your dream, you and boys." you said and somehow it ached painfully in his soul. bangchan didn't understand why first. he opened his eyes.

"i don't care about scandals, but your safety is important to me." he said softly.

"i can protect myself." you nodded, whispering to him. "do you think that when I first kissed you back I didn't know such scenarios can happen? I knew and still chose you. I don't care about hate and death threads as long as I know you love me." you said and his warm hands started to wipe your tears. he smiled but his smile was rather sad. chan closed his eyes and you saw two barely seen streams of tears rolling down his face. you hugged him around his waist and started to caress his back.

bangchan rested his forehead on yours and you could feel his warm breath on your skin. his eyes remained closed and you wondered what is happening in his thoughts.

"i've been around for a long time and I saw you losing people around, i saw you giving up and now you are trying to sent me away too. it's not fair to yourself for you to keep thinking that you are obliged to give something away. if you love me, let me chose you, chris." you whispered, continuing caressing his back.

your words hit exactly where they were supposed to. bangchan recalled each and every time he felt like nothing of what he did mattered, like friends were leaving for their happy times, every time when his dream came true in somebody elses' life and how you were around all the time. your honestly about your fears made his heart melt, he also realized that you were right about him trying to push you away as sometimes even the purest intentions can cause the greatest losses. he stood silently trying to tame his tears. someone really wanted him in their life.

"thank you for saving me. thank you for loving me for who I am, not for who I have become." he whispered and kissed your forehead. at that moment bangchan felt like surrending to you. he felt guilty for deciding instead of you and he really wanted to make you feel safe, instead you both were hurt. "please, keep chosing me and forgive me."

you raised you head and looked at him. bangchan was looking at you with the look full of love and acceptance, just as it was before. once he told you that you have his heart, looking at you like that and you answered that he has yours.

"still got your heart?" you asked, chuckling softly and looking at his eyes and lips.

"it remains yours, under your protection and it likes it there." he chuckled. his eyes were showing how tired he was. "so do i."

you smiled and leaned closer to him. bangchan hugged you closer and stated showering you with soft kisses. the screen of his computer turned off and you stood there almost in complete darkness. only the decorating lights that you bought for the studio were glowing, slightly lighting you two in the middle of the small studio, kissing each other slowly and not letting go.

[idontunderstandchemistry]

Uncomfortable - Tim Drake (1/3)

Summary: [...] "Are you saying you are afraid of me?" "I wouldn't say afraid" Dick said, trying to sound casual "It's just the way you've been talking about everything these days. It makes everyone feel..." "Uncomfortable?" Tim asked, with a bitter grin, finally turning towards Dick "The probable consequences of what you all say and do to me make you uncomfortable, Dick?" [...] Extremely hurt Tim Drake living out of coffee and spite.

Wordcount: 1.5K

Content Warnings: Angst; suicide idealization, mentions of self harm, etc.

Notes: Finally dropping this here, posted the first chapter on Ao3 a couple days ago. Hope you guys enjoy it! Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated ❣️

Part 2 - Part 3

CHAPTER 1 - COFFEE.

Red Robin stared at the screen with sleepy eyes. He'd already found the solution to this case half an hour ago, but pretending he didn't was the only way to avoid being requested at the post patrol circus going on upstairs.

It was always like this, at least it has been since he came back to live in the mansion. There was the patrol, and after, Alfred would prepare a table with many treats for the family to eat while he patched them up. 

What a perfect, happy family, bonding after some quality time kicking criminal ass.

A herd of hypocrites.

Two of them tried to kill him and most of them didn't seem to give a single fuck about the matter.

But what was he expecting, anyway? He was the unwanted child. He crawled his way into this family when Bruce was too vulnerable to deny it, grieving, he was Jason's replacement, after all. The only reason why he was still allowed among the bats of Gotham was his hypercompetence. Or perhaps it was because of how dangerous it would be for them all if he decided to play for the  other team.

If you didn't fear the man who at the age of nine deduced the identity of the world's best detective, you were a fool. Yeah Bruce was a bad, emotionally distant parental figure, but he was no fool, and Tim had to give him the credit for that.

— Drake — Robin said.

Tim felt the ferrous taste of blood filling his mouth. The demon. He pretended not to hear. He wanted nothing with this damn child. This Demoniac being that had tried to kill him multiple times in the last few years. The kid who had never done anything to deserve being Robin, the title for whom Tim has worked so hard for years.

— Alfred asked if you plan on joining the rest of the family anytime soon — The little boy said with his entitled filled tone. Fucking psychopath.

— I am working — Red Robin simply said.

— You're not fooling anyone, Drake — He said, stepping closer to his brother — Staring at a screen isn't working.

— You say like you know anything about working — Tim answered, after a deep sigh — Please, leave me alone. Tell them whatever you want, say that I threatened you with a knife, that I pushed you towards a wall, whatever you want. Just leave me alone.

— You say like they would believe it.

Damian said nothing else, simply left without any other response from Tim, that sighed deeply and continued staring at the screen.

His eyes felt heavier.

“Funny” thing about feeling down: usually, the brain cannot understand the emotional distress and the body intentionally does things to justificate that distress to its brain. 

Some people cut themselves – Tim couldn't do that, Alfred would ask too many questions –; others refused to eat – Tim tried it, but it didn't really fit his lifestyle –; some people drank 'til they tripped and fall — He could do this, but the posterior headaches weren't worth it, even though this is Gotham City and he could easily find a place that sells alcohol to minors – ; some people over exercised until they couldn't stand anymore, hoping the soreness of their muscles would be enough to feel like their pain is valid; some people took dangerous car drives or tried to equilibrate themselves on the edges of rooftops – These were Dick's things –; some people numb themselves with smoke on his lungs – Tim could do this, but refused. This was Jason's thing, and he didn't want to have anything in common with Jason.

So, to try to justify his pain to himself, Tim never slept. Well, of course he slept, he had to, but he always avoided it. This was his way of self punishment. He could almost hear his brain.

“What do you mean your emotions are shit? No, this is not a good reason for all this distress. Here, have a unusual way of self harm and then I'll consider if it is enough or not”

Tim hasn't really slept in the last four days, not more than an hour or two. There were occasional long blinks, but whenever Alfred decided to try to drug his coffee – His best ally in his attempts of making the pain make sense – and sent him to his bedroom, he would only stare at the ceiling. Tim already had it memorised. Then he would close his eyes when he could hear footsteps approaching his door and pretend to be asleep until whoever Alfred sent to spy on him finally left.

A solitary life, it was, but he didn't mind. Since his childhood, loneliness was mostly everything Timothy Jackson Drake knew. His most loyal companion.

— Hey, buddy — Nightwing's voice echoed in Tim's ears.

Fucking traitor. 

The man with the kind smile that was responsible for half of the mud in which Tim found himself stuck. The man who took away from Tim the only thing that kept him standing, the only thing that mattered for him in a long time. This was the Dick Grayson, the “good fella”, Bruce's golden child, “The clearer version of what Batman was meant to be”. Dick Fucking Grayson.

Again, Tim pretended not to hear.

— Dames said you were still working. Don't you think it is time for a break?

— I'm not tired — Tim said, though Dick wasn't dumb enough to believe it. Anyone that looked into Tim's face would see how fucking tired he was. Deep and dark eyebags, hollowed expressions in his eyes, cheeks slightly inwards like the corpse of a very thin woman. Dick sighed.

— I know, but B misses you. We all miss you. And we are worried.

— There's nothing to worry about — Tim said, simply.

Dick sighed again and pulled his chair closer to Tim.

Fuck . He had to lecture Tim right now, of course. He simply couldn't deny the urge of being the reasonable older brother, the inspirational hero, the right one, the mediator of the family.

— Let's be honest, Little Wing...

— Don't call me little wing.

— Tim, we are worried about you — Dick said, Tim never looked at his face, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from rolling his eyes if he did. He couldn't stand Dick Grayson's hypocrite smile and kind eyes anymore. He could barely stand his voice — What you said today during patrol... That joke....

— Joke? — Tim asked, furrowing his brows. He didn't remember telling a joke.

— You know, buddy. That one about the metro-narrows bridge.

Oh . That.

It wasn't a joke. More likely a loud thought.

Tim remembered that. He said that if Damian called him “unworthy” again, he would simply throw himself from the top of metro-narrows bridge, towards the cars. 

Tim has been "telling these jokes" for weeks now.

— Even Dames stepped back. Everyone did, actually. The family...

— Are you saying you are afraid of me?

— I wouldn't say afraid — Dick said, trying to sound casual — It's just the way you've been talking about everything these days. It makes everyone feel...

— Uncomfortable? — Tim asked, with a bitter grin, finally turning towards Dick. He could see the surprise in his brother's eyes. Or was it something else? Tim's guts were absolutely soaked in rage now — The probable consequences of what you all say and do to me make you uncomfortable, Dick? You can't bear the guilt? Or you're just worried your Robin will have to deal with the responsibility of the death of his predecessor?

Dick said nothing. Just sighed. Dick Grayson knew the battles he couldn't win. Dick put a mug in front of Tim. His favourite mug, filled with the dark liquid in which Tim loved to drown himself.

— We can talk later — The elder said — Jason made you coffee. He said you wouldn't want to have a break. Guess he knows you better than the rest of us.

— The perks of trying to slit someone's throat — Tim said completely out of spite, just to see Dick flinch in discomfort.

— Just drink before it gets cold, okay?

Dick left and Tim decided to not make another comment.

Red Robin stared at the mug in front of him, wondering if Jason poured poison into the liquid or Alfred poured the sleep drugs. Either way, there was no chance Tim would let it get into his system. He turned off the screen and grabbed the mug, walking towards his bedroom. In his room already, Tim locked the door and poured the coffee into his bathroom sink.

After taking a shower – He wasn't that bad that he would deny himself a simple shower, although he doubted it would take long to reach this point – He verified all the hidden spots in his room. Behind the curtains, his closet, under his bed. After making sure Jason wasn't there hidden with a knife, he slid between his sheets, soft and smooth.

Red Robin stared at the ceiling of the room where some years ago, lived Timothy Jackson Drake.

[illuminatedbyauroras]

New to EDblr?

Some stuff you might not understand or be familiar with when starting out on tumblr for ed content.

OBVIOUS TRIGGER WARNING::: if you’re underaged/“new” to this PLEASE seek recovery and try your best not to trigger yourself on here. You deserve recovery. This is very unsafe and you need to turn back before it’s too late. You DO NOT want this disorder i promise.

abbreviations: a lot of abbreviations are used so people don’t get their accounts deleted. this content is genuinely dangerous and you should seek recovery. however, recovery is hard and i know it doesn’t help to just say “recover”, so i will try to educate! Some common abbreviations are

Ed: eat!ng d!sorder (notice people use characters instead of letters. again so they don’t get their account deleted for the content)

Gw: goal we!ght

Ugw: ultimate goal we!ght

Hw: heaviest we!ght

Lw: lowest we!ght

CW: current we!ght

BMI: body mass index. (This really doesn’t matter because everyone is built different! But body dysmorphia makes you feel like it’s necessary to lower this. It’s not. But if you see it, that’s what it’s measuring)

Ana: an0rex!a

Mia: Bu||em!a

🌧️, 🦋: symbols to help identify others with an ed

3d: eat!ng disorder

Sh: s3lf h4rm

Ed Sheeran: a silly code for ed, or s3lf h4rm.

You may see super low numbers in each category. Some are in kg not pounds, so keep that in mind if a number seems SUPER low. Again, we’re all not doing okay here so never judge someone for the things their brain tells them they need to achieve. It’s a DISORDER.

You’ll see recipes or meal inspiration too. You don’t have to follow any of these specifically. Usually it’s to help give ideas if people need new safe foods. It can help expand your palette if you’re struggling to find something you feel okay consuming.

Th!nsp0: using images of very small build people as inspiration for staying small. Not necessary, and very tr!ggering. Be warned.

F4tsp0: using images of larger people to “inspire” being small. This one is one of the most awful categories. Fat people are valid and should NEVER “inspire” you to be thin. It’s disgusting, but it’s out there.

Sweetsp0: using sweet language and words to inspire you to keep going. I honestly prefer this.

Meansp0: using mean words to inspire you to keep going and be small. This one isn’t effective for me, but it depends on how it’s done.

Fasting: many users state that they are going on fasts. Water fasts mean you’re only consuming water for a period of time. Just fasting usually means just not consuming foods, but you’ll consume liquids like coffee, etc.

When i first joined, i wasn’t sure how people lived every day like this. Am i supposed to be eating a certain amount? What should my ca|or!es for everyday be? How does exercise add on to that??

It’s different for every person. I started with a goal of like 1000 cäls a day. I learned that for me, it takes like 700-900 a day for me to actually lose anything. Again, it is different for everyone so please don’t compare yourself to others. Usually if you exercise or walk through the day, users subtract that amount of calories from their daily intake. It’s not an exact science obviously, but that’s just what you might come across. I usually track myself like that.

You can use apps like Lifesum (my personal choice) to measure meals and calor!es. You can also track your we!ght progress and stuff. It helps me put into perspective how much progress i actually made. It’s hard to see it since you see yourself every day.

PLEASE BE SAFE. This is a mental illness, not a lifestyle. It is dangerous and deadly even if you don’t feel it. Please take care of yourself. Have something to eat daily if possible. Please make sure to drink water. You deserve to be here and be healthy.

((I’ll edit this periodically if i think of anything else. If you’re confused about something or have a question, feel free to comment!! I will answer anything!!))

[cowedeakamatsu]

Ahem Ahem. Welcome everyone to yet another cowede peptalk about themselves cos... lets face it i have an issue. (part final)

Now another (shorter digression) ? I have an alter ego for when im in cowede is the fucking best mood. an alter ego that ironically was inspired (and adapted to my vision) of some stuff X did. that alter ego is catichi. catichi is factually a brat, they are so adorable the universe will bend to his will and nobody could ever told him no, so pervy that he will fuck at lightspeed while making the lewdest sounds and faces ever known to man said universe while they bent. he knows it, and he LOVES it. and through him i'm loving it too. basically if i play catichi ? i'm having a total blast, buuuut i'm also probably going to stress overthinking and worry i make it a bad experience for my partner because of what X had on me. so i decide "fuck it, you know what ? this statue quo sucks, ima let out the catichi" coincidently at that time pen decided after realizing that yes, novelai cost money, thers other solution but they even require a veeeery good pc and time to learn how to do it, or have veeeery... subpar quality (or that one thing that @makoto-naegi-stud-and-friends found that i cant quite remember, i'll let you tell them you stud) so they decided to create @filthypen ! and their blog ? pretty damn great! super lewd, stll have stuff to learn but its a fun read and cool funny kinks, we also started rping and while we dont get eye to eye on writing style yet because of a core difference in our writing style, the rp is fun! + it feels like i can teach someone some stuff i learned in my relatively long career of shit smutt writing. so i decided to adopt the catichi persona with them, cos it makes me feel good. aaaand thinking that this status quo suck, i decided to also take that persona with X. trying to share positivity. result ? constant super cold response from X i try to engage in some stuff, give them stuff to say but they dont, which being in my boots is reading like "i dont care that youre having fun, stop doing that, and get back to being the one who does tremendous effort". Since they are overobssesed with cucking, probably because theyre either secretely a boy with a micro penis who needs to be validated as an alpha, or because they suck at anything socialy and wants to be glorified (which i both get and dont judge, to be clear) I decide "hey, lets do a funny thing where i act even more like a brat because catichi mode, and I say that i'm so much better (in a lewd catichi way (if u know u know)) that i'll probably make X get cucked when their thing is cucking people". and they took it bad, like emotionally bad. and at this point ? i was fucking done, I finnaly let out my frustrations in a huge message (not as huge as all those, like... 2000 characters ? around that, it all fit into 1 discord message) and i tell them i wont block them (because they already used 4 times before the "please dont leave me i have fear of abandonement" WHICH SPOILER BITCH, EVERYONE HAS) but that i'll come back when theyre an actual good person that does effort and STFU. it was followed by them writing a total of 48 messages of pure insults (some in russian) and denial that any of this was their fault because "they have dimentia" and how im a stuck up bitch that does no effort because I DARE ask them to do long response, they also go in a sideline about paranoid unrelated stuff like being watched constantly as an excuse for leaving half ass answer all the time and to be fair i just quick read through and didnt care. they also came to my dms and had a mental breakdown before finnally blocking me. And man it feels GOOD. i have just One message to say : if you have really dimentia X ? I am sorry... except i am not, wanna know why ? because youre nothing but a BITCH. a whinny, INCAPABLE, STUCK UP BITCH, that Cant do shit on their own, Will die alone, miserable in paranoia, and will have deserve every single fucking moment. You are not a good person. You are nothing, unimportant, and if what you show is what you are ? nobody will miss you. ever.

[halsteadlover]

I am 28, never had a boyfriend, never had sex or had any guy interested me that wasn’t drunk, I look like Miss Trunchbull from Matilda merged with a widows peak like Mickey Mouse and merger again with Susan Boyle, I kid you not… I have so many wants and desires for my future, I want to marry and have children, I want a good man and true love, I want to have sex with a man who wants me, I want three kids of my own… I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tempted to move to somewhere new, but I am someone who seems to be unlikeable and unable to have friendships like anyone else regardless of hard I try it just seems that everyone ghosts me or leaves me in some way. I’m tempted to get plastic surgery to change how I look, to change my hair and get rid of my widows peak too… I just don’t know what to do anymore

First of all I apologize for answering now but I literally just saw it 😭 this ask really broke my heart, I understand how you’re feeling and I know that you won’t believe any words I’ll say but I’ll try it anyway.

Your feelings are completely valid and you have the right to desire a family, kids, a person who loves you and you deserve to live those wishes and I really wish you’ll get to experience them soon. But trust me please trust me when I say that the right person will see you for YOU. You may ask yourself how is this even possible but what you see as flaws and imperfections, the right person will see them as the most beautiful and most magnificent things they ever seen.

It’s a really hard thing to do and so easy for me to say, but the first step is to learn how to love yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself. Who the fuck cares you’re 28? Nobody cares about age and things like that and you shouldn’t too and the right person I kid you not won’t care. Everyone is different and life moves at its own pace for everyone. Every single person on this planet is waiting for their time and yours will come too I promise.

It’s not your fault if stupid ass people ghosted you I really hope you’ll get to understand it one day. They are shitty as people and please believe me when I say they didn’t even deserve to have you a day in their shitty ass lives.

Like I said I know these words won’t solve a thing and it’s hard, trust me I know, but I hope you’ll love yourself enough that when you look yourself in the mirror you’ll just see someone who is worthy of everything good that god might give you. You deserve it sweetheart!

You’re so beautiful inside and out ❤️

I’m sending you so many hugs and so so so so much love and whenever you want to vent I’m always here❤️

[bonefall]

random question but as someone who's considering trying to do my own rewrite esque thing... is it weird that i want to like. Fix bramble and squirrel's relationship instead of having him continue to be an abuser? Maybe it's just the fact that I liked them as a kid (or that i havent read SqH/past OOTS) but there's this weird disconnect where the bramble in my head is apparently a lot different than other people read in the text lol. figured id ask you since you're The wc rewrite person

You can sort through my tags on Bramblestar if you'd like ideas. I am the king of "Bramble why can't you be GOOD." I talk a lot about how he is abusive, what I enjoy and what I don't enjoy about the idea of an abuse plotline, so on.

I personally won't recommend fixing Bramblesquirrel as a ship though. I think it would be a lot better to rewrite them as adopted siblings... tbh I've never seen a romantic BrambleSquirrel rewrite that didn't keep blaming Squilf as "just as bad" and "pushing each other's buttons" which I think is a really, really uncomfortable implication considering canon

Like... unfortunately, fanfic is inherently a commentative medium. We can fix, we can prune, we can rewrite, but we can't break free of the implications of canon.

I personally feel like the line is so fine that's impossibly razor thin.

So if you are committed to fixing BrambleSquirrel, please try to make sure to treat Squilf as valid. Bramble is constantly downplaying and ignoring her because she's loud and assertive, even though she's nearly always right.

She couldn't trust him with that secret; the second he found out he abandoned his family and acted passive aggressive for an entire year. He trained in the Dark Forest and let Leafpool take the fall for secrets he leaked to Hawkfrost. He throws Firestar's legacy at Squilf while getting pissed off that anyone throws Tiger's legacy back at him, even when they're not.

He holds the fact she wants a new baby over Squilf's head to invalidate her concerns all Squilf's Hope long, screams at her for caring about endangering kittens, and then leads a battle patrol against pregnant women.

Please please keep these in mind. Please either eliminate these, or for fuck's sake, don't "Bothsides" these issues

I think if you're going to fix Bramblesquirrel, you cannot give Bramble power. You'll have to completely change these situations so that he is not the deputy or leader, as these conflicts drive the plot. I can recommend Brackenstar or Thornstar instead, have Squilf lose a deputy position over the secret, Bramble is upset but supportive.

(Especially tap into how ThunderClan treats the three differently after this reveal, "i was angry you didn't trust me, but i see why you did it <:/")

Keep the internal arguments between the two of them harmless. Model something like Honeymooners, where in spite of their arguments being loud and blustering, Squilf is clearly never ACTUALLY afraid of him and NONE of these fights end in Big Summer Blowouts.

(And a side note; if your relationships look like that, you deserve better. It is actually not normal to have huge fights every month. I was Shocked but it is true.)

Remember, remember, remember; you have to SHOW me them being a healthy couple in spite of any arguing they do. Imagine that you CANT tell me "they love each other." You can never say that word-- can I still tell they are a loving couple?

If the answer is ever no, reevaluate.

[cherishedproperty]

When Fantasy and Reality Collide

Lately I've been having a hard time reconciling how something can feel so good in fantasy but make me feel so unhappy in reality.

The other night, Monsieur and I were having sex. We were on our sides with my legs over his hip, looking into each other's eyes while he slowly fucked me. He was stroking my cheek and telling me how he owned me. Then the conversation took a familiar turn. He started saying how, after the first of the year, he was thinking of making me anal-only again. Not in the sense of never having vaginal sex, but that I would not orgasm without something in my ass.

Then he said, "I know we have a contract, and it has rules about this. So I'm going to have you decide how long we do this. You don't have to answer now, but think about it."

I nodded. My mind was already spinning in a million directions. How long can I do it? How short can I make it without disappointing him? Don't I want this? If I want this, why do I feel so sad right now?

He asked, "How does that make you feel?"

I didn't know what to say. His cock was still moving inside me. I didn't want to ruin the mood. But I can't lie to him—not even during sex. And the combination of my brain spiral and a few margaritas made it hard to control the feelings welling up inside me. Finally, I said the only words I could manage.

"It makes me feel like a failure." And then I burst into tears.

Here's the thing. I like anal sex. I can have amazing orgasms from anal. I masturbate to anal porn often. But I have to be in the right frame of mind for it. If I've been busy or stressed or haven't had the space in my brain for sexual arousal, anal sex can make me feel worse. It can make me feel used. It can make me want to curl inside myself and not be touched anymore.

Still, I look at anal porn and I think about my Monsieur's desires, and I think, I should be able to give this to him. Maybe if I just plugged myself more so the sensation was part of my everyday life. Maybe if I just committed to being anal only, my body and brain would accept it. It seems so easy when I fantasize about it. But I've tried those things before. I've had plug rules in the past (and hated them). Monsieur and I were even anal-only for the first couple months of our relationship. I know that, ultimately, this emphasis on anal doesn't feel connecting for me. It doesn't make me feel loved and cared for. No matter how much I want to give it.

The thing about fantasy is that I have complete control over it. I can imagine the way I feel when the conditions are perfect for anal. I'm not uncomfortable with the angle or wanting more lube or wishing I'd prepped for it or worrying about the cramping or leakage that could happen on my run later. Maybe if the reality of anal aligned better with the perfect conditions I imagine during fantasy, maybe I'd be more of the anal slut I want to be for him.

So the other night, with tears and snot dripping down my face, with him still inside me, I told him all of that. I told him how stupid it felt that I couldn't give him this thing that I knew he wanted—that, in my fantasies, I want, too. I told him I felt like a bad submissive. He held me and listened. Then he told me he loves my dedication and how much I am willing to give to please him. He told me my feelings are valid and important and thanked me for sharing them. He said his greatest priority is for me to feel pleasure and connection in our sex life—that I deserve those things. And anything that makes me feel like a failure is not the right path for us.

I still hate the disconnect between fantasy and reality. I still feel like maybe I could be the perfect anal-only submissive if I just ____; and all I need to do is figure out what goes in the blank. It's hard to struggle in giving something that part of you really wants. But I am glad to have a partner who wants a healthy, sustainable D/s relationship that works in reality, not the perfect D/s fantasy that doesn't last.

[logicgunn]

🛒, ✨, 💋, 🎶, 🛠, 🍦, 💖, ❌, 🎃, 🎨, 🦅, 🤗, 🎉, 🤯, 💥, 🤭, and 🥰, please?

Thanks for the ask! Phew! *stretches fingers*

💋&🎶answered here!

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Coldness. Domesticity. Whump. Challenging gender roles (according to Bun).

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I've gotten skilled at characterisation and turning "s/he would not fucking say/do that" into something plausible.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

Online: Microsoft Word

Offline: Libre Office.

I am open to suggestions if anyone uses anything other than these and GDocs, which I tried and hated.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Cinnamon Bun (The Language of Love) for sure!

💖 What made you start writing?

Time, boredom, depression and watching Stargate Atlantis for the first time and catching feels for McShep.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I can't imagine ever writing an omegaverse fic. I would have said high school/collage AUs, but I did write a Laura & Rodney teen fic that had a high school setting. Probably a one off though.

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I have written a halloween fic, a christmas fic, and another christmas fic. Holidays are good inspo. I think I have a couple of unfinished valentine's wips in a folder somewhere I should look at.

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

There's some very cool podfic covers of some of my fics that rock my socks!

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Shorter ones just happen, but if they start to expand or I already know they're multichap or a series then I definitely make a plan. Plans change a lot though because sometimes when I write it goes off in an unexpected direction.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Just write. A crap draft can be edited, a blank page can't. Start with the idea that's burning in your mind. Expand on it later, in both directions if you want.

There's a tumblr post going around that says if you are stuck in a scene, go back a few lines, the problem is there, I've found that to be true more often than not.

Sometimes a story is just a single scene, and that's enough. I wrote an OFMD fic that I intended to be a 5+1, but ended up posting as a oneshot instead and it was better for that choice than it ever could have been if I'd struggled on.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Hard to say. I get immmense satisfaction in finishing a fic. Sharing it is nervewracking, but if a few people kudos I'm thrilled. We all want validation on some level. 10 kudos and I stop worrying!

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Genres aren't so much a problem for me, I'm up for most things. Some are easier than others, like angst and whump and fluff, but there's nothing I think of as a struggle. The things I struggle with a more grammatical than thematic.

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

I get asked that a lot so I wrote a thing on my AO3 page.

"Concrit

If it can be fixed in five minutes, let me know in the comments. If I'm skirting the edge of something without the delicate touch it requires, please DM me, I only bite bigots. If you hate everything I've written from present tense to an au setting to queer themes, I might not be the writer for you..."

Most of the "concrit" I've had has been bigotry, and I'm sure everyone already knows my tolerence for that. If something's posted, I'm pretty much done with it, except when I go back and reread it after posting and find a dozen typos that did not exist in my final draft!

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

My most used additional tags are fluff, post-apocalypse and survival, so make of that what you will!

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

Absolutely!

[questionableagonyy]

💖It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by everything that’s going on. Life can be incredibly tough, and sometimes it’s hard to see a way through. Please remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to not have all the answers right now. You’re not expected to carry this burden alone—there are people who want to help, who want to listen. You are worthy and loved. Your life has value, even when it’s hard to see it, and you deserve to have someone walk this path with you💖

whoever you are, i hope good things come your way. i know you mean well, and your words are so kind, and i hope you know that even a simple act like this can really help someone struggling (me included). thank you sm

i also dont want to give you false hope, or myself for that matter. i got diagnosed with depression over five years ago, and i have done nothing but struggle for a long, long time. yes, i am medicated, no, it isnt helping. its an unfortunate situation that i wouldn't wish on anyone, which is partially why my asks are open to anyone, even just to vent.

even so, an ask like this is really nice. it gives me a little more hope, knowing that there are people like anon here out in the world, doing what they can, so thank you

[beethebisblog]

I had to watch the episode in short bursts, because people kept needing me for things.

I’m gonna ramble about everything that happened for each character but first I just want to say that I loved hearing more of Tricia’s singing voice this episode, she has been underutilized so far.

-Susan

At the beginning of the show, Susan was very quickly cast as the pretty but mean popular girl jealous that her ex-boyfriend moved on. Then slowly, they did this thing that I REALLY love, where they gave her more depth, more complexity, and more dimension. They have shown us perfect Susan who works hard to maintain the status quo and please her mother (who is encouraging unhealthy relationships with food and slutshaming her daughter, seriously Mrs. St Clair can suck a rock). And now they’ve shown us another level to Susan, acknowledging that rich white families will ALWAYS do whatever it takes to protect their reputations. Her mother holds this over her head, but it was clearly a very traumatic, very difficult thing for her to do in secret without the support of anyone. Sure her parents made it so that she could get the abortion, but based on how we’ve seen her mother treat her, we know Susan doesn’t get any real support and it makes her actions that much more heartbreaking. When she tries to stand up to her mother, and Olivia (who is neither right nor wrong in her reactions) doesn’t want to believe she’s changed, you can see that she accepts that. It isn’t until Olivia is a steps a little too over the line that she reveals the truth about what she witnessed. Susan is 16-17 and she’s hurt and she’s scared and she’s sad and I love her.

-Dot

I don’t have much to say on her, except that she really is a sweetheart who deserves better friends. Honestly, sometimes a pity date with the bad boy of the school is way better than sitting there alone while your friends all have dates. She’s so cute. Her poor nose and eye :(

-Hazel & Wally

Doing them together because they were together in all of their scenes. Hazel was giving Cinderella vibes. I appreciate the fact that while Wally doesn’t understand some of her Hazel-ness, he really seems genuinely interested in learning about her interests and getting her to at least attempt to enjoy his too. I loved their duet. I love that during the utter chaos that was the rest of the episode, they got to be in their little bubble where everyone pointed out that they are seemingly perfect for one another. I don’t normally trust media when it says stuff like that, but I actually really like them together.

-Nancy

I love her so so so much. It’s entirely relatable the way a crush can feel all consuming and irritating all at once. Her (and Cynthia’s) song was very much a highlight of the episode. I love that Nancy is just an all in type of person and she doesn’t really stop to hear a no for the answer. I do wish they would give her a little more depth. They’ve done a good job with Susan and Jane and Olivia and Richie and Buddy. All we really know about Nancy is that she is incredibly headstrong, a very talented seamstress/ designer, the daughter of the owners of the frosty palace who may or may not be an only child, a Buddhist who’s not a fan of reading, “scary” and although she hasn’t had much of a romantic life in the past, she has a big crush on Potato. Which is valid, because he‘s great. But still, I want to see a new dimension of Nancy with this new conflict within the Pink Ladies.

-Cynthia

She is in the “shit I am gay but no one can know, especially not the person who made me realize it’s true” phase where she fights it HARD. Compulsive heterosexuality hurts. She needs someone to talk to, before she implodes further. That moment with Lydia made me so so sad, but that’s just a real part of quiet culture for someone. Cynthia is hurting, and that doesn’t give her a free pass to hurt Shy Guy like she did, but I understand it. She’s gonna have to apologize bug time, when she comes around. Also, as always, I loved Ari’s part in the duet.

-Olivia

I’ve decided that if her and Richie are twins, she’s the older one for sure. The ages are so hazy, or at least their grade levels, and I’m kinda confused. So my head cannon is that she’s the older twin. Which would explain her protectiveness over the Pink Ladies, without factoring in the slightly homosexual overtures to hers and Jane’s friendship that is not present with the other PLs. Olivia hates Susan, and she does have reason for it. But that really doesn’t explain why she wouldn’t let Jane explain. Because people can change, and they can learn. But Olivia does NOT have forgive Susan, but she should’ve given her so-called best friend a chance to explain. No matter what Susan said, Olivia had NO right to do what she did. She knows what the school is like once they realize you are a “slut” and she knew that the consequences always land on the girl (does she not remember the extent of the conversation at Dot’s party??). Sorry that just made me so mad. And then to tell Richie what happened between Buddy and Jane :/Her moments with Gil were really sweet. But her going back to her abuser does not send a good message at all and I hope this is addressed before the season is over.

-Jane

She did the right thing not going with either guy to the dance. She was unsure of her feelings for either and did not want to lead them on or hurt them by choosing too soon, and that was a mature decision. Her budding friendship with Susan is interesting and kind of ironic. Her accidentally confirming Olivia and Mr. Daniels is unfortunate, but also something that would reasonably happen to me because I am bad at de-escalation techniques. Jane is very much people pleaser, even after everything, so it makes sense that she would sort of defend Susan. Her coming home to Olivia’s jacket already on her porch (which like, hello Flash because how did she get there before Jane) was almost the opposite of the scene where Olivia brings Jane’s jacket to her house. She did not even really register what Richie told her about Buddy and the election results (which like, how did he find out?)

-Richie

He is a good guy. He respects Jane’s space; he saw that Dot was devastated about her going dateless to the dance (which also sorta implies she’s never been if they previously had to have a date to register a ticket and she said her friends always had dates but not her). He was very kind to go with her, and go along with her quirks. Teenage jealously makes a person unsteady, and I am just glad someone told Jane the truth about Dick Aldridge.

-Buddy

I am still not his biggest fan, but man was he sad this episode. It seems like everyone is moving forward except him, which is expected when you realize most of your life is a lie. He needs a slap in the face and a hug.

-The others (Shy Guy, Potato, Mr. Daniels)

As for the rest: Potato remains one of my top guys; Shy Guy and Cynthia in the kitchen actually made me cringe because I know she feels nothing what he feels for her; and the predator needs to be imprisoned. I can’t believe he is trying to suck her back in :(

I need my girls back together. I need some proper communication to happen between Lydia and Cynthia.

Also episode 8 comes out the day before my birthday so I hope it’s a good one (they have not let me down so far).

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S1 Ep 12

Ok then, last Episode of Season 1 let’s make this though reaction compilation count!

-We are back in Puqi village folks

-Ooooh pure domestic moments!!!!

-I freaking love how Xie Lian says ‘The Crimson Rain Sought Flower’ Howard Wang’s voice could act as my new sleeping aid

-No he hasn’t called him ‘his highness’ throughout this whole

-Oh yeah San Lang does treasure you dude

-Heck Yeah he was your groom, and I even officiated that ceremony in my first reaction! (I’ll type that iconic quote near the end of this Episode peeps!)

-It’s totally the first possibility ‘nuff said

-Never change San Lang, never change

-It was the lack of the heartbeat in Ep 9

-Hua Cheng didn’t strike fear into my heart as well

-Oh Pot!Yue unintentionally cockblocked em!  Pot + Ban Yue = Pot!Yue

-She’s rolling own her own and he opened the door for her!

-She got herself upright in the pot!

-Ban Yue’s in their custody my heart. (MXTX you probably won’t see this but Hua Cheng and Xie Lian have been through so much in that 8 book series, please let them be parents!!!  That’s just my prayer that probably won’t get answered)

-She still calls him ‘General Hua’

-I don’t think Pei Xiu’s a bad person either

-Ban Yue deserves all the head pats!!!!

-Don’t worry he does forgive you after what you’ve done

-Oh Xie Lian gets flustered at his past dream being brought up in front of San Lang

-Aw San Lang still likes his past goal!

-The way Ban Yue moves in the pot it’s so cute!!!!

-She was so young and innocent AAAAAHHHH!!!

-Honey I don’t even think you were being dramatic for a minute when you were a soldier

-And now she made the pot hop!

-Ban Yue my beloved!

-I love how I’m good at remembering stuff like Ban Yue

-I don’t think it’s nonsense at all honey, I think you’re amazing in whatever personality you display right now the good ones and the bad ones - prolly me and Hua Cheng’s opinions on Xie Lian, for HC it’s romantic, but for me it’s platonic

-Facepalm

-Awwww Baby Ban Yue

-At least it put an end to the war

-What have I been doing all this time either???  Aww man…

-Ban Yue, I think you should keep living despite all the mistakes you’ve made… other than that I also don’t know the answer like Xie Lian

-And Ban Yue’s now watching the moon and stars outside

-Aww San Lang got concerned!

-San Lang is dropping facts people

-San Lang is touch starved again!!! It’s official!!!  I am a Touch starved!San Lang truther TGCF fandom!!!

-Oh yeah it does look nice Xie Lian

-Oh you’ll see the real him, soon enough dude

-Oh no the Vegetable stir fry got overcooked!  I am not even gonna touch it when it’s all purple and blanched!

-Later that night

-And there was only one bed!  Oh my gods there was only one bed!!!!!!

-Ghosts are more freer than Heaven is

-Best boss ever!!!  San Lang obviously

-Hua Cheng really did make a name for himself among the other Ghost Kings

-Oooh he’s giving Qi Rong a bad name and defeated him good!

-More about Black Water later folks

-Aw man the way James Cheek says bologna, Wait a minute how do the Chinese know about bologna sausage, Ah right the Silk Road (I just like to imagine TGCF takes place around the time of the Silk Road capiche?)

-That’s cause they’ve got a ton of officials up there

-Oh yeah San Lang, valid stick it to all those gods

-They really do have the vibes of two concerned fathers (see what’d I tell ya, Hualian is just pure paternal material)

-Aww he liked his goal about saving the world!!!! AAAHH

-Aww and Xie Lian got all embarassed at his compliment

-Oh that was a really good opinion from San Lang!   He doesn’t think his goal is foolish at all!!!

-“What was life?”   My whole ass answer:…42?  (You guys’ll get the reference in the comments)

-Ohohoho now Xie Lian moved in closer!

-Honestly Xie Lian’s quote about him becoming someone’s new meaning in life does speak a lot about us as a society when looking up to famous living people like celebrities and what not

-I think he might be sitting next to you Xie Lian

-Well said, San Lang

-Their interactions added at least 8 years to my lifespan

-Oooohhhh!  Xie Lian talked about setting up boundaries

-Aww Xie Lian will love him no matter if he’s hideous or a monster he really does have the best standards from Ep 9!

-See boundaries!

-“I don’t buy it!  Good night!”  Awwww Xie Lian’s hot when he’s mad

-Oh he withdrew his hand when Xie Lian moved away

-Another Reason why Hualian works so well is that San Lang also Respects!  Xie Lian’s!  Boundaries (Yep still not getting involved with the Helluva Boss drama folks)

-Hua Cheng my beloved

-Oooh it was raining!

-Oh No San Lang’s gone

-Ban Yue’s back inside

-Ooooohhh what’s around Xie Lian’s neck

-It’s official!  That looks like an engagement ring people!

-Dude pass me the Aux cord!  Ya better not be playing mainstream garbage *Puts on Hong Jue at full blast and vibes like no tomorrow!*

-That confirms it he has seen Hua Cheng’s true form

-This line’s from my very first reaction post at the start of this season:  I now pronounce you both husband AND husband you may now kiss the gro-  I mean, bride!  (I should officiate more weddings as a living!)

-Aiaigasa! As a flashback one last time!

-Oh he’s running back to see if he returned inside!

-Get used to it people, this is just how he says ‘Gege’ in English, and honestly it’s kind of grown on me so no judging please!

-I wasn’t kidding when I said the kid Xie Lian saved would be important later on, called it~!

-It’s like they’re running towards each other AAAAAHHH!!!

-He really did paint him in his glory days

-Welp, see you guys later for Season 2!

-Ah the freaking rescue parallels

-*Casually continues to keep playing Hong Jue while wrapping up this whole reaction

-Man this was a long one!

Well that was Season 1.  I’m going to take a long break from doing these reaction posts, because I have an upcoming final project to complete in art, and I’ve got Christmas gifts to make.  So I’ll update the Thoughts I had on TGCF series once Season 2 finishes airing in Chinese and English See ya next time!

[sieglinde-freud]

6) Who's your favorite lord/protagonist?

10) A character you find underrated?

11) A character that deserved better?

12) A game that deserved better?

15) What are your favorite musical tracks?

16) What's your favorite world/setting?

30) Since horse abuse is currently popular on Tumblr, beat up a dead horse with your take on an oversaturated topic🐴

6. Favorite lord/protagonist?

answered already, but briefly its lucina and then the sacred stones twins tied :)

10. A character you find underrated?

i think kjelle flies under the radar a lot because she comes off as just one of those character who just trains all the time and like. im not gonna say thats wrong exactly? she can be annoying to read sometimes, thats true. but i dont know, i personally really like how they took her character. obviously, im biased, awakening second gen is my favorite cast in fire emblem and shes included in that, but the obvious backstory of coming from a ruined timeline already does a lot to elevate her higher up for me if you just. consider her thinking from that perspective. but i also really like her “strong vs weak” mentality she has going on. i dont agree with it, but i like that she has it. obviously shes lost a lot, so wanting to put up a strong front and act like she doesnt need anyone weaker than her as a way to protect herself from losing more is a really fun way to take a character from a backstory like that, and its fun to see how that manifests in her supports with the others. she spends a lot of time looking down on them, which can admittedly be boring to read, but if you dig into her a bit more, is it really because she thinks theyre pathetic? or does she want to cling onto what strength she has and push them away so they dont have to? does she really think theyre weak? or is she jealous of their strength to indulge in frivolity while they have it while shes too scared to do so?

also shes pretty and im not immune to women who could beat the shit out of me

11) A character that deserved better?

NYX…. NYX FIRE EMBLEM… GIRLLL IM GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THAT STUPID DARK MAGE OUTFIT! nyx is honestly one of fates’s best characters, and honestly probably one of fire emblems best characters, but people wont give her a chance because 1) her outfit sucks which is honestly a valid reason considering her gimmick and 2) shes a fates character. a much less valid reason. but its like!! guys please i SWEAR shes not the same as the other characters with the stupid “im older than i look” trope please please please im on my KNEES right now please please please please please please please PLEASE. anyways if nyx has 1000 fans im one of them if nyx as 1 fan i am that fan if nyx has no fans im DEAD and BURIED, probably still hyping her up from the grave.

12) A game that deserved better?

answersd previously, but i said echoes :)

15) What are your favorite musical tracks?

recollection and regret is my favorite support track by far. that is musical perfection right there. huge fan of twilight of the gods for final boss maps. bright sandstorm, dark wastes, and dont speak her name are my favorite map themes. and comrades is my favorite recruitment theme :) my favorite track is probably pulled from one of these

16) What’s your favorite world/setting?

you know worldbuilding is not something i really praise fire emblem for. but i think i’d pick ylisse/whatever world awakening is set (is it still called archanea?? i dont know) just because it feels really homey i think. not biased btw

30) Since horse abuse is currently popular on tumblr, beat up a dead horse with your take on an oversatured topic.

every single side of the edelgard/dimitri/rhea discourse is fucking annoying and i think if you start going after people simply because they have an opinion on one of them that you dont you’re the reason why we’ll never get an attempt at true nuance in fire emblem again. games been out for what, 3? 4 years?? and people still cant manage to say “i like [X character] and think [Y character] was in the wrong, but i respect that you dont and that you have different interpretations of them than i do.” its not that hard you guys. “ohh but edelgard started a war” “dimitri slaughtered people” “rheas corrupt” its not real. its not fucking real. you gonna start going after every fan of julius and ishtar because of their role in fe4? what about all of the villainfuckers in this fandom? you ever seen grima thirst??? (i love yall. btw. good taste) like its just so… stop basing your opinions on real people off a stupid anime game!! its not that deep! its never ever been that deep!!! if someone keeps posting a dumb take you dont like, you know what you can do? block them!!! its so easy!!!! its so fucking easy so how is this even a problem anymore!! godddddd

[sixpennydame]

My Beautiful Bestie ❤️❤️❤️

One year of Tumblr!!! Congrats Sailor!!!

And one year of friendship between us too!!! I'm so so glad I met you here, you're a wonderful woman, kind, smart, funny, caring & an amazing writer! You know how much I love to read your works but I say it again! I'm a big fan & I'm waiting for new great stories or chapters of North Star (no pressure though, just showing some appreciation!)

For the writers asks, 🎉 💝 💌 please!

Love you so so much ❤️🌹😘

Val, my Bestie! I vividly remember you being one of the first people to reblog The Better Man and me messaging you to thank you. We've been friends ever since, and I'm so thankful for it. Here's to many more years to come!

It's my one-year Tumblr-versary! Send me a writer's ask!

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

Hmm...I usually celebrate by closing my computer or iPad, stepping away from social media and taking a long walk. I am very (very) hard on myself, and often think I don't deserve any credit or praise, so doing that is a challenge. But I'm trying to be better!

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Honestly, I didn't think Make.Believe, would be the hit that it was. (There's that low self esteem talking again.) I had had it in my drafts for months, but decided to publish it on a whim. Part 1 is now at almost 1k notes, which is crazy to me! I am a little sad that Part 2 or 3 didn't do as well, but overall I'm happy with the series.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I'm ever so slowly working on Neon Tears, which is another series I've had in my mind for months. I hope that when this semester finishes I'll be able to focus more on writing. Here's a peek of Reader talking to Hange:

“I um..I’m from Earth.” Their eyes go wide. “Earth? That shithole? I didn’t know there were still settlements there. How did you even earn a ticket to get to Mars?” You open your mouth to reply, but they put their hand out. “Don’t answer that - it’s none of my business.” Obviously your planet of birth has made you intriguing; hopefully intriguing enough that they’ll give you a job. They look you up and down like you were a science experiment. “And why would an Earthling such as yourself want to work here, at Club Azure?” “I’m a hard worker and a quick learner. And I need to make money fast.” “Mmmhmmm..and you can definitely do that here, if the guests like you,” they smile, “and you certainly would be a unique curiosity,” their eyes gleam behind their glasses, “but why do you really want to work here?” There’s a silence as you think about what to say, but decide you might as well tell the truth. “This line of work doesn’t require me to have Mars citizenship papers.” “And there it is,” they nod, seeming satisfied with your honesty. “It’s true, we don’t really care about those things here. In return, we expect our employees to be…discreet about our clientele’s  information and other business that goes on here.” “I can be discreet.” “I believe it.”

[faithdeans]

hi you can post this or not ! whatever you’re comfortable with. tw for talk of sa and internalized aphobia

so i was taken advantage of when i was in middle school by another middle schooler (someone who was convinced he was my boyfriend) and suffice it to say, it was not a good experience. i havent really dated since and i definitely havent had romantic or sexual feelings since. i think i had a crush on a kid before when i was in fifth grade, but it was so long ago i don’t remember.

sometimes i wonder if i’m really acearo or if i’m just so put off by relationships and so sex averse because of that. i do like smut but i panic whenever anyone references anything sexual in person in anything but a serious and calm tone. i’m nearly twenty and i still request my friends don’t make overly sexual jokes around me because of how averse i am to it all.

i’ve never understood romance, but i do enjoy romance books and fics. often reading fics i find that the romantic relationship is just a different type of relationship, and that there’s also deeply platonic roots in it. that makes me feel okay about maybe trying romance one day, but i really have no desire other than having a roommate to take care of a dog or cat with.

so yeah, sometimes i wonder if i’m really acearo or if i just need to work through trauma. the sa happened before i even hit puberty, so i really have no idea if i would have still been ace had it not happened, you know?

i don’t mean anything offensive by this, i’m just self conscious and wanted to talk about it with someone who might understand. if you’re not comfortable with this message, please don’t feel pressured to respond in any way. if you’d like to give me a response but not post all of this, i’ll sign it with an anon name to refer to me as :) if you want to post all of this and answer directly, that’s cool too. i’m very okay with having my story out there if you think it could help someone else out.

i know you’re mainly a supernatural blog, so before i go: sickly dean for life <3

-> confused ace anon

first of all hiii! thank you so much for feeling like you could talk to me about this, it means a lot and i will try my best to help. if you ever want to dm me, they're open (if they're not shoot me an ask and i'll turn them on), even if we're not mutuals or anything, i want you to know you can talk to me without any judgement <3

reply under the cut to save space

first of all i am so sorry that happened to you, you did not deserve that, and although it's a valid reason to, i'm sorry it's making you doubt your indentity too.

i want you to know, that even if your aroace identity was cased by your sa, it is still 100% valid. there is actually an entire ace microlabel for this, called Caedsexual, which is for aces who thought they may have been allosexual until the events of their trauma. it might be worth looking into that?

with that in mind, it is also entirely possible for your identity to change over time, and to fluctuate too. for example, i definitely think i was alloromantic for most of my life, but something changed along the way. i can't pinpoint it but i know it did. this is normal and doesn't make the way you currently identify any less real.

what you enjoy when it comes to fiction can be a good indicator of what you want yourself, but i personally disregard it. listen, i'm also sex-averse but i love reading smut. it's so fun. i don't even get off on it, it's just light reading to me. do i want any of that to happen to me?? absolutley fucking not. i don't even like being kissed that much. sometimes enjoying stories can be just what it is: a story. and sometimes it's fun to see characters do things you absolutley wouldn't. kind of the same reason people read horror you know?

so, to sum it all up: if you feel like you are aroace right now and you are comfortable identifying that way, then that's awesome, that's what you are. it can change, and that's perfectly okay too. remember it's a spectrum too, for example i find myself fluctuating between being greyaro and aro. this is all normal and fine.

what you read and enjoy in fiction doesn't always represent what you want. this is also fine!

it doesn't matter how old you are, if people talking about sex makes you uncomfortable, it's completely valid to ask them not to do so in front of you. this does not make you immature and anyone who makes you feel like it does deserves a punch in the face tbh.

all this being said, i 100% recommend you getting help for your trauma, just because you deserve to feel better in yourself. if along the way you discover that you're not actually aroace then ?? that's fine my friend! or maybe you will discover nope yep definitely aroace, and that will also be fine!

it's your life, and your identity, and as long and you're being honest with yourself in the moment, in this very moment in time, you really don't need to stress about it too much my sweet.

sending you so much love, and again, if you ever need to talk about it i'm here! i hoped this helped somewhat <3