#idk im just
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DNI if you hate dogs I am so genuinely serious
#afraid is okay like you cant help being afraid of something#but people who genuinely have hatred in their heart for dogs#should never speak to me ever#idk im just#rambling
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I think I have just put less and less effort into my art over time bc genuinely I don't think it even matters when it comes to how well a piece is recieved 馃拃 bc yeah I could spend 18 hours making a finished piece.. or I could just draw up a shitty pandering sketch and it will get twice the likes
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okay I am obsessed with both '09 and '22 soapghost, but what has recently consumed my brain is the headcanon that they're one and the same.
After they get together, Soap is promoted to Captain and their dynamic immediately shifts. He thinks Ghost has an issue with him being his superior. He's been quiet, more so than usual, almost appearing small at times. He loves being captain but goes so far as to consider stepping down for the sake of his love... when he finds out it's quite the opposite.
Ghost fucking loves Johnny being his superior. He loves being bossed around and told what to do. Price trusted him to be left to his own devices when on missions, but Mactavish will always have an eye on him, always making sure he wasn't being reckless. Always has him following the rules. Calling him a good boy when he listens. Simon is addicted.
He feels some sort of shame, a weakness, knowing that he enjoys not taking charge. But as soon as Mactavish catches on, he's hugging ghost, kissing all over his balaclava and telling him how happy it makes him. How special he feels knowing Simon could let his guard down, give away his control to Johnny.
In the end it makes their relationship stronger. After a long while of Simon giving his everything to Johnny, he finally lets himself be selfish, take some of his wants in return. And Johnny is more than happy to give it to him.
#idk im just#*them*#you know?#they're so happy together#until...#hahaha#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#ghost#soap#cod#cod mw2#cod mwii#johnny mactavish#simon riley#I just love them so much
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As a lesbian I still find joy in m/m content because holy shit the way men who love men express it is as equally as beautiful as the way women who love women express it. They produce some great art too.
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the difference between tomgreg and tomshiv is that if tom would bite greg but greg would never bite tom back. and shiv would bite tom and wants tom to bite her back. and that is why tomshiv reigns supreme. tomgreg is just tomshiv's shadow.
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im so fucking not okay
#okay to reblog#idk im just#lonely man#i really dont wanna say im suicidal#but#i might be#i really might be#and its so fucking stupid i dont wanna die#but but but haha#im sorry.
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many thoughts
realizing what specifically i disliked abt last life and how its perfectly done in limited life for me
i liked the boogey system, it was very very fun and its an interesting lore bit how each session no matter how careful no matter how kind they become, some lives would get deleted, be it to a boogey kill or refusing the boogey
but what i disliked was 2 things, first the rule that green and reds cant team up, didnt really liked how not much Close close relationships formed in that season, and the other thing was the life share mechanic, it made going red doesnt feel like Going Red, yk?? like when someone got to red youre not panicking bc well. they can get a heart from someone! no worries, which (esp bc at that time we only had 3L to compare it to) really diminished the Scary Worry of going red, like jimmy scar ren etc
BUT! limited life doesnt have either of those stuff, And it has the boogey system!!! and yk, i used to think maybe the boogey mechanic wasnt For Me but nope im really enjoying it in LimLife lmao, also i mean, LimLife has wayyy chiller fun team up vibes (kinda following the fluffy DL vibes) and im having fun :)
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this line in the lokasenna makes me so miserable for no reason. guys i swear to god i'll be having a nice day and then i'll remember that blood siblings are more important that biological siblings, how they're supposed to share both achievements and punishments and drink together and how loki said this to his brother-- the guy who imprisoned his children and later tortured him-- and i'll break down and cry for 4 hours (i know the poem is satire. i just like to be miserable)
#yes i am crying over a post christianization norse poem that was written as an insult to norse gods. what about it#henry adam bellows tl btw.#idk im just#loki and odin make me so emotional. i hate those fuckers#lokasenna#loki#odin#norse mythology#the eddas#poetic edda#mine
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She was just spamming /blowkiss on Llymlaen.
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I don't like that I sometimes lose contact with good friends for a bit bc generally a) it means things aren't going great for either of us so we don't have the time or energy to check in and b) I like my friends and I worry if it's been a while that I've alienated them or we've just drifted too far apart for our friendship to be as good as it used to be
BUT
on the other hand there is very little that delights me more than checking in with a friend after a while and we have both gotten into the same things despite never mentioning it to each other and/or in some cases being out of touch for close to a year. We may not have spoken but our souls were in contact anyway I guess
#with some folks in particular it's.#we've known each other for so long that a lot of the interests we share were enhanced one way or another by the other persons love of it#friend i try to go see perform when I'm in town and they're cast in something is also into Dropout stuff#or like on the surface sometimes things seem like they're out of nowhere but make complete sense after thinking about it#idk im just#something about roots and how if you grow trees a certain way you can get them to spiral up together
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馃檭
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absjhdjshsks i wanna learn a language so bad i want. to learn the words and speaking it but oh god why does it cost so much money why is there no straightforward way
like theres online apps but if you want anything competent its generally pricey and will never be perfect theres textbooks which again. costly and wont teach everything i assume person on person or actual classes in person or online would be the most effective way but then. ppl scary and expensive and. it doesnt seem worth it to spend that much money regularly on smth thats not for a job or a proper reason itd just be bcs i want it n that feels stupid. so im just gonna sit here really wanting to
#LANGUAGES R SO NEAT I WANNA LEARN THEM SO BAD BUT ALAS#its not even the commitment or amount of time itd take#i can do that#its just. the money and the lack of free . ok its mostly just the money#n it doesnt seem worth that#to waste so much money on smth that is only for me#like any of my other hobbies. spending money makes sense#most of my art hobbies you get smth out of (artwork crochet etc)#with spending money on kpop i have physical collections#even with games im spending that money on a game#or with any other hobby id be spending it on learning a skill#and yeah learning a language is. learning a skill but#its not like i could demonstrate it. its not like theres any good reason for it#esp bcs the language i wanna learn is not at all related to my country#idk im just#it feels so wasteful n stupid to want to bcs of how much itd cost#but id kill to#personal
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every transphobic or fearmongering argument about bottom surgery that might otherwise make me nervous fades away so easily lately 'cause every time i think about my surgery for more than a second i get so excited i start bouncing. i think that's a pretty good sign that i'm sure
#sorry i keep talking about bottom surgery its like#the real big thing i have to look forward to#and like. yknow#after all the shit that happened with me being intersex its like#me finally being able to gain control & autonomy over my body#you have no idea how exciting that is#i stopped hurting myself cause i dont wanna mess with my chances/recovery. that's huge!!!!#IDK im just#:o)#meow.txt
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the eeper!!
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I wonder if I left that server anyone would notice
#they didn't seem to last time lol#i mean nobody reached out to me#idk im just#im tired okay#idk i feel like im always left out of everything#i jsut want to matter ugh#monnie rambles
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