#thank god maddie was there cause i genuinely started having a panic attack
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#yeah frankly im 100% overreacting to everthing again because im sensitive asl for no reason rn#but like. what happened to change everything#like idk whats going on with me but every little thing that i do wrong has made me so upset i genuinely cant handle it anymore#like on monday i got yelled at and started crying in class . it was so bad i had to go home#and today i accidentally hurt someone and that sent me into a full spiral#thank god maddie was there cause i genuinely started having a panic attack#i felt so bad and i kept trying to apologize again but i was ignored so i like . genuinely freaked out so bad i couldnt even play music#i couldn't breathe and i was shaking so bad#then it only got worse when we were packing up and he wouldnt leave#like i was so paranoid i just started shaking and crying and i just had to hug maddie for a good while before i genuinely passed out from#not being able to breathe#i dont understand my grind AT ALL and its making me so sad#like ok why couldn't i talk to my friends during study hall#what the fuck is this nonverbal grind#im just so incredibly sensitive right now for no reason and it hurts to be hit with so much negativity and then want support from my friends#but i cant ask them because im basically just attention seeking at that point . because i dont want them to complain to me and that makes me#a hypocrite. cause im just telling them about all my problems and then they start acting weird cause they probably dont want to hear about#it either but i need to tell SOMEONE cause what if they just think im being weird cause im acting strange and they dont understand why im so#freaked out or upset and everything and its just like . i wish people could understand exactly whats happening without me telling them#its so hard to tell them . genuinely difficult to get it out and when i do they look at me like im crazy and shouldn't talk to them abt it#so im just . stuck . like i need help someone pls see me im suffocating here i just need someone to tell me its okay and im not worthless#and that everythings worth it and i need to feel it.#and i know im asking for way too much because no one should have to be constantly making sure i dont kill myself but like. i cant help it#i seriously wish i wasnt this way but when u ahve a literal mental disorder its hard not to be#trust me i feel so shit about this i wish i wasnt so needy all the time#maybe i should just shut up and never worry anyone else again
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Things in The Crucible movie I really like
Mary’s cowl
Winona Ryder as Abigail
Mercy being played by the mom from Liv and Maddie
Mercy tries to hit Betty and Abigail skillfully catches her hand mid-swing.
In the scene where Betty exposes Abigail’s ass for trying to make a charm to kill Elizabeth, Abigail shoves Betty onto the bed and yells at her, causing all the other girls to scramble around in a panic, and while they do so, Mary, who is already teary-eyed, cries, “Is she gonna die?!”
Just Karon Greeves’ performance as a whole. I need to make an entire post all about Mary Warren’s character analysis and how she acts in TC, and her actress for the movie will definitely strengthen that. Seriously, Greeves is so good.
The second time Betty tries to jump out the window, her screaming somehow grabs the attention of the people in church, making them all run out to see what the commotion is, and we get a wonderful shot of this whole child halfway out the window with half a dozen pair of hands trying to pull her back in.
Proctor’s pants.
Hale being casted as the gayest looking man possible.
MARTHA AND GILES
Tituba actually gets whipped in the scene where everyone is accusing her and it genuinely made me cringe in pain.
The terror on all of the girl’s faces is great, too. Even Mercy looks horrified. And I love how Mary slowly reached a hand up to cling to her arm.
Also during that scene, Putnam grabs a rope and says, “Let’s hang her!”
The part where all the girls start crying out the names of people they supposedly saw with the devil gave me fucking CHILLS.
Also Mary looks around at everyone before finally joining in on the yelling, which will be another thing I’ll add to the analysis I will do on her.
The way the judges and men are shoved into the smallest house possible to eat is so funny to me.
Mercy poking the ground with some garden tool while staring directly in the direction of the camera from a distance.
A few bullet points regarding the scene where Mary gets in trouble for going to court so here’s one to start us off: Proctor is just....sitting in the dark and Elizabeth is by the staircase like they’re parents ready to bust their daughter for sneaking out to go to a party.
Instead of a whip Proctor grabs...a belt??? What is he, one of the fathers who would threaten to “whoop” their kids with their belt?
The few hurried steps Elizabeth takes forward when Proctor grabs the belt.
Proctor and Mary don’t play ring around the rosary around the table, but Mary does fly out of the house. Like, she fucking BOOKS IT. I don’t think she’s allowed to run away from a beating as a servant, but she does anyway.
Mary’s bonnet falls off and it turns out her hair is in a bun. I thought she actress had short hair, but nope! It’s just tied up. I’m tagging this because I like her having long hair for story ideas.
The second time Proctor tries to whip Mary, she fucking SCREECHES and hightail it again.
When Elizabeth is being arrested, two of her sons come down from upstairs and hug her goodbye and one of them wouldn’t let go.
Also when Elizabeth gets chained in the wagon and Proctor gets riled up because of that, the boys do, too, and start attacking the guards and they’re screaming and crying and it’s honestly so sad.
Right before Proctor starts the monologue that would be at the end of act 2, you can not only hear Mary sobbing in the background, but you can also hear him slapping the whip (errr...belt) in his hands, meaning he’s probably going to beat Mary. I mean, I always expected that’s how he got her to agree to testify against the other girls, since it doesn’t happen onscreen.
How close Ruth and Mercy sit next to each other is really cute to me for some reason.
When the court is called to recess, you can hear someone say, “Thank you, Mary Warren!”
Proctor reaches back and has to urge Mary onwards when they’re switching houses to hear the news about the girl’s lying because she was clearly trying to lag behind.
While Giles is being questioned, Mary is left alone in some empty room, curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth, whispering, “Oh my god” while sobbing. The other girls then slowly enter and stalk towards her and she sprints back to the courthouse.
Proctor tends to and soothes Mary after she stumbles into the courtroom, like drying off her face, which I thought was sweet, but he’s still an abusive asshole.
True to Mary in the script and play, movie Mary spends the entire court scene fucking crying.
Parris grabs Mary by the wrists and yells in her face after she says she can’t pretend to faint.
Mary being unable to speak and explain and getting really choked up to the point where is sounds like she may vomit.
Danforth’s face when this happens.
The way Proctor has to get up and retrieve Mary when she breaks. Also how she hides her head behind him when she’s sitting down again.
Danforth leaning away when Abigail yells at him.
When Abigail starts to shiver and claims there’s a coldness in the air, the other girls kinda look at each other for a moment before joining her.
Abigail falls to her knees at one point and you can see Hale slowly stand up and back away and I thought that was so fucking funny.
Proctor slamming Abigail onto the judge’s table when claiming she’s a whore.
Once the girls start copying her, Mary slowly goes into the fetal position on one of the benches and it’s one of the most heartbreaking things to see.
Also Parris holds her hand for some reason.
#most of these are about mary because I watched her the most the second time around#but still#I love the movie so much!!#go watch it!!#it’s so good!!#the crucible#mary warren#abigail williams#mercy lewis#betty parris#reverend hale#reverend parris#john proctor#elizabeth proctor#judge danforth#tw: abuse
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