#like there were weeks i saw him every day. aint no way... i could handle the awkwardness of that

[bangcakes]

.

[ask-carmenpondiego]

Chapter 23: Not the Sharpest Lightbulb in the Crayon Drawer

The next morning, Molli stood on the doorstep and adjusted her outfit, trying to look presentable. She changed her body color to be her more natural color of such a deep red, it almost looks black. She wore a blue jumpsuit with a gold belt with a rose buckle. She hesitated a moment and knocked on the door. A few moments went by and the door was opened, revealing a surprised Waldo. The two stared at each other for a moment, “Holy moley! Molli! I haven’t seen you in forever! Does M know you’re here? Lemmie get him for you..” she tried shushing him frantically as he called out for his brother. Both M and Carmen came to the door, wondering what the commotion was, and one look from M had him rolling his eyes, “What the fuck are you still doing here?” Molli straightened up and smiled nervously, “Well, I was just about to tell your brother here about me thinking of joining… here. As a henchman-woman.. person.” Wally raised an eyebrow, “You were?” M crossed his arms, “Bullshit. You still have that hit on Red.” Carmen looked at M a bit surprised, “She what?” Molli waved her hands defensively, “No no I swear! I cancelled that contract. After I got free from that spear, I came over and saw how happy everyone, like Skaedfryd, was to be here! I mean, if people are happy, the boss must be doing something right.. right? Oh.. and I wanted to give this back too. Its still so cold, its weird..” she handed the spear back to M and put her hands behind herself, twisting anxiously. “I wanted to have a fresh start, I promise to try not to be a pest or a weed to you. I want to help out.” M snatched the spear and leaned on it like a wizard staff. “I will say it again. I do not fucking like you and I want you to get off this fucking island.”

Carmen puts her hand on his arm, making Molli’s eye twitch for a brief moment, “I personally think we should give her a chance. I mean, if we don’t help her out somehow, she could go back to doing worse things than we do. First sign of broken trust, I’ll let you send her off. How’s that?” M narrowed his eyes at his ex, putting the spear tip to her throat, “One whiff of deception from you and I will make sure you never find every single piece of your body to stitch back together..” Molli gulps and gingerly pushes the spear away from her neck, “Good to know, lover boy. So when can I start?” Carmen shows her inside, and has her follow her to her office. M gripped the unicorn’s arm and whispered, “Keep yer door open. I don’t want you alone with her. I don’t fully trust her yet.” She smiled and patted his hand, “You worry too much. I’m sure it will be fine.” M growled as the two girls went up to her office, the door stayed open much to M’s relief. Wally scratched his head, “Did I miss something?” M shadowed the spear back to Lekir’s room and he shoved a cigarette into his maw. “Red’s bleeding heart is gonna land her in more trouble than she can handle.. she’s already dealing with different body parts and powers up her ass, I don’t think she realizes she still fucking vulnerable. It aint like those superhero movies where they automatically good at things. Example, she took weeks to learn to walk again without aid. These powers?? She’s NEVER had magic. Her horn is.. is as good as shattered. You knew that, but it got worse when you were gone. Its completely dead in the water.” Wally rubbed his neck as M paused to take a drag. “We tried to do simple shapeshifting the only way I know how. She could barely muster the focus to grow a single hair on that piece of metal. She couldnt even change the color. She needs training and actual progress before she’s as invincible as she feels. And with Molli showing up last night and tellin me she has a hit on Red? Then joins us the next day? It don’t taste right.” Wally sighs, “Maybe she’s being truthful though. You may not see or even want to admit it but I can see you are happy here. Maybe she wants that. And who knows, maybe you can get together again. Don’t let the past breakup ruin the future bonds. Its an open opportunity to move on and possibly gain a new friend if anything.” M strode off, grumbling.

He passed Lekir who had watched from the other room, but didn’t get to hear much. “So, who was that, Bugboy? And why does she look familiar?” M groans and rubs his face, “She’s…. My ex. I stabbed her last night with your spear.” Lekir nodded, “So thats why it was returned with dirt and blood on it.. so if you stabbed her, why did you welcome her in?” M turned and snapped, “I wasn’t the one to welcome her. Yer fuckin wife and her fuckin bleedin heart did. And I stabbed her because she is a crazy dumb bitch who is horny for me seven ways to tuesday.. last night she said she was assigned a hit on Red but then this morning said she had a change of heart and canceled it to become better like me.” She gave a concerned look at him and at the ceiling where Carmen and Molli were in a meeting. Lekir sighs, rubbing her temples before looking back at M. “She's gonna turn on us one day you know that right? She's just waiting for the right moment. And if she is anything like you powerwise, Carmen can't win with her current state, neither can I because you can overtake me. You need to tell me and the others exactly what you know about her in its entirety. Leave nothing out.”

M rolled his eye with a groan, “Fine.. when Red gets out of her meeting I’ll call the rest of the group and give a full situation report briefing without my ex present.” Lekir nodded, “I definitely think a sit-rep is very much needed. Especially that threat of a hit. Why did she tell you about the hit? Didn’t she know you were security here? Or did she not read her own report?” M snickered, “Thats the thing, she does things half assed, probably only saw the target and location and when I saw her last night, she thought I had the same job and spilled the beans before I told her what I am here. She really isn’t too bright. She’s durable, like me. Hard to fully kill, but her powers are plant based and not very expertly controlled. Her emotions get in the way and her attacks are weak. She does excel in the knowledge of poisons and many of her thorns are laced with a decent cocktail. But she has never been known to finish a job.” Lekir raised an eyebrow, “And her job is to kill the world’s second biggest pacifist next to her himbo husband..”

Carmen came down from her office after supposedly showing Molli her room. “Hey Lekir. M, mind if you gather the other agents, other than Molli to the war room, I need to give a bit of a sit-rep briefing for everyone asap.” Lekir and M looked at eachother with a slight air of relief. Lekir turns to Carmen, “Please tell me we didnt just adopt a stray cobra..” Her wife chuckled, “More like a cartoon coyote. She’s still in my office, asleep.”

Lekir tilted her head, “What do you mean asleep?” The mare smirked, “I left my coffee on the desk unattended as a test. I had my back turned while at my file cabinet, you know, beside the mirror? I saw her put something in my coffee, and stir it with my spoon I had near it. She then licked the spoon. And now she is face-planted at my desk.” Lekir furrowed her brow with concern, “Is she a complete moron?!”

M lit his cigarette, “Its like I’ve been trying to tell you two. She COULD be formidable if she wasnt a dumb bitch.” Carmen smirks, “I think we should stick to my plan of treating her with kindness, though heavily restrict her from the more advanced things like heists and access to 079 fully. I’ll tell more at the briefing.” Carmen headed off to the war room when Lekir suddenly pinned M to the wall, holding an ice blade to his face, “You better handle this because if she ever succeeds in even hurting Carmen, I will make you pay! I spent 6000 years regretting not being able to save my husband from death. Make sure this is plenty preventable.. and prevent it before I prevent you from ever finding your head. Got it?!” M growled and shoved her back, straightening out his leather jacket, “You say this like I wasn’t going to already! News flash! You ain’t the only one who would go absolutely apeshit ballistic if Red were hurt! Now back the fuck off so I can do my fucking job!” M snorted as Lekir stormed off, brushing past Carmen who had a concerned look.

M flicked his cigarette angrily and checked in on Molli, who was still face-planted and out cold with slight foam to the mouth. He still felt her neck and wrist, disappointed at feeling a pulse but glad he didnt have to dispose of a body. He was about to reach for the coffee to pour it down the drain and his eyes caught on some of the paperwork they were working on for her hiring. Looking closer he noticed her signature, “Mali Negatta” and hmmed. He’ll need to ask when she had changed her name. She groaned a bit trying to lift her head. He remembered nights she used to get drunk off some of her lighter concoctions because alcohol didnt touch them as far as drunkenness. He sighed and shadowed a handkerchief to help clean her face from the drool and foam. He pulled her back and her head somewhat rolled on her shoulders, she slow blinks her eyes open as he gently cleans her face. “Hey you.. we should totally bang on the deshk here.. office sexssis soooo sexy..” she slurred. He paused silently and took the coffee cup, “Here, have some coffee, sober up..” he knew full well what she did, and wanted to know if she even remembered. Which she did not and eagerly took the cup and downed the whole thing. After a moment, she hiccuped and face-planted on the desk again. “Oooh I smell a new fuckin betting pool with this one.” He chuckled, patting her back and leaving her there to set up the meeting. “Fuckin lightweight.”

The meeting was very detailed, strategies were put into place and betting pools were cast, a bingo sheet for the kinds of attempts, and how she would fail, and how long until she either quits trying to kill or quits VILE itself. It was a mix of extreme seriousness and mockery. They knew the severity of the situation if she should actually succeed. But given her track record already, that severity was guarded by cautious ridicule and vice versa. And thats how it went from then on, although many heists were placed on hold while they tried figuring out a new cure for Wally’s condition.

Carmen searched all her books on afflictions and curses, minerals and crystals, and even diseases and illnesses. She felt she barely had anything on the subject and the internet didn’t come up with much either. She shut the large book she was looking in and sighed, taking off her purple glasses to rub her eyes. “Alright..” she said to herself, “Looks like I’ll need to take a trip to Canterlot.. they may have the book I need in the royal library. Might get a new hat too while I’m there..” She was sad when her hat had fell into the acid during the whole stone pillar incident but it was better than losing her life. She headed to the mech lab where M had been hooking up some new device to the chronoskimmer. She didn’t see him around and checked in with 079. “I haven’t seen the rude one today, he’s probably being harassed by that stray twig you brought in.” Carmen tsked, “You shouldn’t say things like that! Yeah she’s pretty thin but you dont know if its her metabolism or an eating disorder! I’m working on helping her gain a bit of meat either way. But I’m not judging her. Now can this thing still take me to current day Canterlot?” The ai sighed as if asked a huge burden, “Does Canterlot exist?” Carmen raised an eyebrow, “Yes.. thats a silly question.” The ai just looked at her, “Exactly my point. Just set the dials and be on your way..” Carmen wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes, “Just tell M that I’m popping out for a book. And I’ll be right back.” She set the dials to open a doorway to right inside the castle, by the stained glass windows. She’ll be able to get to the library with ease from there providing no guards had seen her. She stepped through and closed the doorway back, knowing that she’ll be able to dial it back if she needed on her phone. She looked around and stood back, admiring the stained glass craftponyship of the multiple pieces. “I need to come back for one of these eventually. I always forget how beautiful they are in person.” She mused quietly to herself.

[darylsgirl]

Hes just like the Sun Part 2 Daryl x Reader 18+

Summary: Reader goes missing, Daryl gives up the search after only a few weeks and starts getting closer to another woman. When he finds sign of the reader again but rick is the one to save you. Daryl cant handle seeing you broken and pulls away.

Warnings: A lot of cussing, Domestic violence, Assault

*Hello my lovelies! This was meant to be one long chapter but I've split it into two parts so expect a part 3 :) As always please let me know what you think of this chapter and if i can improve! As always i hope your having a lovely day!*

Part one                            Part Three

It had only been 4 months since that glorious night with Daryl, Since he had professed his love to you and you to him. 

He had spent every waking moment since then showing his love. Proving he would protect you against anything, He couldn’t have known that he would be away when you needed him most… 

You had just been to the gates and waved Daryl goodbye. He had left on a run with Rick, Rosita, Sasha and Abraham. Sniffing slightly you headed back to your home ready to just get in bed and have his smell engulf you for a few hours before you needed to go to work. 

You knew it was silly he would only be gone a week tops he said but that may as well been a century to you. 

You also knew for the next week you would lay awake at night worried out of your mind wondering if something was going to stop him coming back to you. The thought crushed your chest. You couldn’t be without him now, He was your sun, Your every breath. 

You made it back to your’s and Daryl’s bed wrapping your arms around yourself snuggling into his pillow, It was so strange how the smell of Motor oil could be so Damn comforting! You prayed silently to yourself that the first lead they were going to check out would pay off as that would mean he would be back to you within 2 days.

You lay there hugging yourself tightly for a few hours before begrudgingly dragging yourself into the shower and heading to work. The infirmary was bustling that day fortunately for you, unfortunately for your neighbours. There seemed to be a bug going around the town, Which is why Daryl had to leave you in the first place to go and get life saving antibiotics.

It was ironic that illnesses that could be cured with one pill before could cause so much death now when antibiotics are becoming so difficult to find. You looked around the room and silently pleaded with god to let them find something quickly! 

It was pushing 10pm when you were finally on your way home after a final check on one of your elderly patients. You couldn’t wait to get in the shower and scrub the day away and knowing Carol she would have dinner waiting for you. You smiled thinking of Carol you really did love that woman, She had become like your mother taking care of you and always being there. 

Distracted by your thoughts your guard was down and you hadn’t noticed him dart out of the darkness between the houses. 

You looked around wildly fighting the arms that had clamped around your mouth and chest dragging you backwards. You froze,You knew the sound of that breathing anywhere, You could feel the ice in your veins. It was fucking Spencer. 

Daryl’s POV. 

It had been 8 days since he had left. Y/N was going to kill him for being too long and worrying her. He pushed his bike to the limits just like the first night he had met her racing back towards the gate, Where he knew she would be waiting. Grinning from ear to ear with excitement bubbling in his chest he saw the gates come into view. 

When he got close he only saw Carol waiting for him, He never expected the news she was about to give him. The second the words “She’s….gone….Missing” crossed her lips he ran towards their home screaming for her. Carol hot on his heels, He charged into the house straight to their room “Y/N? Y/N?” he ran from room to room in the home screaming still for her before going outside and collapsing at Carol’s feet. 

His fingers were ripping at his hair and face desperately trying to cling to anything he could. “WHERE IS SHE” He screamed up at Carol. She silently joined him in the middle of the road pulling him into her arms while he sobbed.

Y/N pov

You watched him through the hole in the black paint, It had taken you a while. The paint was thick but you had finally managed to make a hole big enough to see out of but small enough for Spencer not to notice.

Your heart broke watching your man screaming for you, You’d have given anything to be able to rush out of there and wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was ok, Just as he had done for you so many times. You had never seen him so distraught and you hated yourself for being the cause of that. You tried to scream but only a rasping whisper came out of you, It was like the nightmare you always had being so close to help but not being able to call out. 

Then you heard it, The boots coming down the stairs you flung yourself into the corner hands covering every inch of skin you could. You heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open, Footsteps were closer now. He approached the door of the laundry room you were being kept in. The light hurt your eyes as the door flew open.

Daryl Pov

Once Carol had gotten him to calm down a little with the help off Rick and the others who had been on the run they pulled him into the house and to the kitchen Island settling him on a stool whilst Carol hurriedly made tea. 

Once everyone had a cup, Rick finally spoke up “C’mon Carol your killing us here. What do you mean Y/N is missing. What happened?” 

Daryl met Carol’s eyes now and listened intently as she started her explanation, Choosing to give just the facts as she didn’t think Daryl could handle much more. 

“We realised she was missing around midnight on the day you left, When she still hadn’t come home. I went to find Denise who said that she had left work at half 9 and would be stopping in to see Mrs Turner on her way home. I asked Mrs Turner who said Y/N had left around half an hour later.” 

“I’ve spoken to everyone in the town, Most were asleep at the time and No one has seen her since. So we know she went missing within those two blocks around 10pm that night. There is also no gear, weapons or food missing from anyone’s home so we know she didn’t just choose to leave” 

Rick put his hand on Daryl’s shoulder, sighing “You should go get some rest brother, Leave it to us” 

Daryl growled throwing Rick’s arm from him “I. Aint. Goin. Fuckin.Nowhere” He spat through gritted teeth. Rick looked over worried before deciding to let it go, God knows if it was him he wouldn’t have left either. “Ok so tell us Carol, Where have you searched so far?” Daryl had never paid more attention to anything in his life. 

After formulating a plan between the six of you, Daryl pushed himself up from the island feeling grateful for a moment that you had arrived not too long after sunrise and you had a good few hours of sunlight left to search. He silently made a promise to her that he wouldn’t stop till she was back in his arms again. 

Y/N 

You woke in your basement cell shaking from the dreams of the night you were taken. The first few weeks had been the worst. He had inflicted every punishment imaginable on you trying to break you. He laid off those when he realised that wasn’t going to happen. As long as you knew Daryl was out there looking for you, You could keep going too for him. You had to keep hope in your heart he was going to find you. Spencer still took you everyday but you had stopped fighting it now and just became numb as you knew you had to just lay silent or face the cattle prod. He really seemed to like that thing.

You still saw Daryl in the street sometimes, At night sitting on the porch alone with a whiskey and a cigarette looking haunted staring into the night. 

There was one day you dared to believe you could have been saved. You woke to hear him outside of your blacked out window, He had fought with Spencer and pinned him on the front lawn while Rick had searched the house. Finding nothing, She couldn’t understand how they had completely missed the basement! Every house in Alexandria had one! You knew if Daryl hadn’t been out there with him he would have known to check here, he would have found you. Every part of her was screaming for her to call out and scream Daryl’s name and begging him to save her. 

She had tried a few times to scream but only a quiet rasping breath left her, Her throat was red raw and no matter how hard she tried nothing would come out. 

Daryl had let Spencer back up still glaring at him While Rick explained “Look man we had to check, You’re the only person in this town that could of possibly wanted to hurt Y/N We had to be sure” 

Spencer replied “I haven’t even looked at Y/N since that day. I did as I was told and kept to myself. I’ve done my job for Alexandria. I didn’t do anything, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep him away from me and leave me alone!” At that Daryl lunged for him again with Rick stopping him before he got to Spencer. 

“Fair is fair now we’ve checked your house we’ll leave you be” Rick grabbed by the shoulders and walked him back to your house and inside to calm him down. 

Spencer’s Pov

He watched them leave and darted back into the house, Stupid fuckin hillbilly he thought to himself, Walking into kitchen he grabbed a water and let his mind wander. 

He had kept his head down and bided his time, Deanna, his mother had finally gotten rick to agree to let him move back into his home. Almost immediately he had set to work in the laundry room downstairs, Moving the machines out, Moving a mattress in, Adding a deadbolt to the top and bottom of the door. Perfect, Now he just had to wait a little longer for his revenge.

 He was going to get that little bitch back for the humiliation, She didn’t get to make a fool out of him and then be happy! Making him watch them both across the road night after night all on each other. 

He bet she knew what she was doing too, Teasing him like this. Flaunting herself all over town with him! What she was even doing with the dirty redneck he would never know when she could have him. He was better for her, She needed him and he was going to make her see it. 

Two months, Two months he had waited and watched pretending to have no interest. When finally the opportunity presented itself, He was walking the back way home trying to avoid the eyes people now made at him when he saw her. 

She was leaving Mrs Turners and walking alone down the empty dark street, He waited until she was about to turn onto their street where the houses were either unoccupied or all the lights were off when he sprinted towards her wrapping his hand around her mouth and dragging her backwards through the back gardens and into his, She started fighting again when she saw he was taking her into the house. He overpowered her easily taking her down the stairs and into the laundry room, He threw her on the mattress on the floor and left bolting the door behind him. She could scream all she wanted, No one would hear her now. 

Daryl’s Pov

After a few weeks it was just Him, Rick and Carol still searching. They were all sitting on his front porch, His eyes scanning every blade of grass as he had been for weeks. 

Rick cleared his throat “Brother you can’t keep this up anymore and I know what you're gonna say so don’t rip my head off but you need to rest. You need to sit down and eat a real meal or you will be in no condition to keep searching. We’ve looked everywhere in a 100 mile radius and there is no sign of her. I’m not sayin give up on her brother but you need to start taking care of yourself Y/N would hate it if she knew you weren’t” 

Daryl felt the sobs coming up his throat, Rick was right there was nothing to go on. No tracks. No sightings. No sign of any trouble or walkers. She had just vanished into thin air. 

Carol was at his side again consoling him “Ya right Rick, I hate ya but ya right” He let Carol guide him back into the house and to the spare bedroom, He hadn’t been able to set foot in their room, It just wasn’t the same without her. 

She lay him on the bed and left to go grab him some of one of the many crock pot dinners the housewives of Alexandria had dropped off for him, Now they knew he wasn’t gay they were circling him like vulchers all vying to be the one to take Y/N’s place if she didn’t return. He had ignored all of their pity, They could keep it. He didn’t need it. 

The only solace he had found over this time was Nicole, She was the one he had saved a few months back when they had stumbled across her alone in the street and brought her to the infirmary where Denise & Y/N had patched her up before the Town had decided to take her in. 

He can’t remember how his unlikely friendship with her had come from she was just there always at his side, The only one to not look at him like a degenerate to be pitied. They sat in comfortable silence at first before they had started opening up to each other, She was pretty he guessed she had nothin on Y/N but he was still flattered when she had asked him for help with combat. He knew it was probably just an excuse to distract him but he was grateful for the distraction nonetheless. 

Y/N pov

You couldn’t believe he had given up, for weeks he had heard him shouting her name and heard them sitting on their front porch discussing how they would find her tomorrow.. But Tomorrow never came.

He still sat on the porch every night but now he was no longer alone, He no longer looked haunted. You guessed you were happy that he looked happier, more relaxed and even sometimes laughed. You just couldn’t stand that Spencer was right. You had probably just been a passing fling to him, The memories you had of Daryl were becoming warped with you spending your days analysing everything to try to find a moment where that seemed to be true, You were a fool and fell hook line and sinker.

Now you knew he had given up on you, Spencer didn’t need to try and break you any more, You were already broken. 

He had started letting you out of the room for longer. At first it was just to use the bathroom and then to make you cook for him. Soon you were out the entire time he was home and only locked up at night he would make you lie in the bed with him all night pawing at you or subjecting you to monstrosities you couldn't even fathom or dare to think about then lock you up in the morning before he left. This was the only time you could actually sleep, safe from him knowing he wasn’t here to bring you back out again. 

Throughout you had refused to even give him the satisfaction of speaking to him or making a noise during any of this. 

The routine became monotonous. Leave the cell, take birth control, make his dinner, sit on the floor by his chair, Wait to see if he gave you any scraps. Go to bed, Lie awake all night crying. Back to cell. Cry some more and then finally sleep before the routine started all over again. You had stopped trying to see him or anything outside, You just couldn’t take it. 

You took a particularly bad beating this morning for burning his breakfast, Hugging yourself on the bare mattress you passed out from the pain.

Daryl’s pov

He still felt guilt for giving up the search but Rick was right, There was nothing to be seen. It didn’t stop his eyes from constantly searching for some clue that she had ever been here. 

He looked down from the tower and saw Nicole approaching waving at him to come down. He took one last look out over the walls before climbing down to her

“Hey D.. Spencer’s been put on guard duty straight after you, Do you want me to take over?” 

“Nah Girl i’m fine. His face won’t be if he tries to talk to me though” 

She smiled up at him and reached forward giving him a lingering hug, Daryl cleared his throat starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She backed her head away from him slowly looking into his eyes and kissed him gently before pulling away fully and looking at her feet. 

Daryl was still frozen in place not knowing how to react when she mumbled “Okay then, Well i guess ill see you later?” He just nodded and rushed back up to the tower. Guilt back in his chest. He hadn’t known that Nicole had felt like that about him and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. His heart still fully belonged to Y/N and he didn’t think he would ever have room for anyone else, not at least until he knew what had happened to her. 

Daryl resumed his aimless search beyond the gates searching all the faces of the walkers who had been put down recently to see if any of them could have any of Y/N’s features. He heard Spencer talking to Rick and figured his watch was probably up.

Daryl climbed down from the tower and faced them both waiting for them to finish their conversation, He noticed Nicole heading over and tried to ignore her. He looked Spencer over and that's when he saw it.

Rushing Spencer grabbing him by his neck and throwing him against the gate. “WHERE IS SHE” Rick tried to pull Daryl off of him. “Daryl c’mon brother we searched his place he had nothin to do with it” 

“Oh yeah? Then what’s this?” He reached forward ripping your sunflower from the lapel of Spencer's coat and offered it to Rick. 

“This could be anyone’s Daryl, Let’s not jump to the wrong conclusion” Rick mumbled 

Daryl Growled back “Turn it over, It’s got mine and hers initials on the back.”

Rick turned the pin over and saw it did in fact have the initials on the back. Giving the pin back to Daryl.

“Spencer, Why do you have that?” Rick said, pulling his gun out and training it on Spencer's head.

Spencer had gone sheet white “Yeah it’s hers, She left it at the house when she left me” He shrugged “Couldn’t have meant that much to her” He smirked slightly causing Daryl to jab him in the throat. 

Rick pulled Daryl away “She were wearin it when I left Asshole, The day she went missin, Na tell me WHERE IS SHE” 

Spencer was silent now, Holding his throat and gasping. Daryl turned to Rick “We needa search his place again, Naw!” 

They both lunged forward and grabbed Spencer dragging him between them towards his home, On the march over a few of their original group followed. “What’s going on?” Rosita asked

“We found proof he knows where Y/N is” Rick replied shortly, still dragging Spencer. The group followed more urgently now. They threw Spencer on the ground in front of the house, “Watch him” Daryl growled at Abe who nodded in response. 

They tore through the house searching again. “There’s still nothin here Daryl, We need to interrogate him get some answers'' 

“Nah she's here, I can feel it. Were missin somethin” Daryl’s eyes scanned the hallway “Wait, That bookcase... It aint meant to be there, Help me move it” They both grabbed a side and shifted it. “The basement, This has to be it” Rick said excitedly. They opened the door and ran down the stairs, Eyes instantly locking on the dead bolt on the laundry room door. “There” Rick pointed towards the door Daryl ran over “Y/N” He yelled.

Daryl unlocked the door and what he saw brought him to his knees. “Y/N” He said softly this time. Crawling over to you and shaking you. “Y/N Please Y/N Answer me” He sobbed. He stood up and backed out of the room into Rick. He couldn’t look anymore; he didn’t want to remember her like this. Naked and battered. Dead on a thin mattress on the floor. He was too late, She was still human so this could have only just happened. He was so close.  She had been here only a few houses away all this time, He would never forgive himself for this “It’s ok, I’ll take care of it. Get outta here Daryl” 

Y/N

Daryl? You tried to open your eyes but they were just too heavy. You were sure you heard him and it sounded close. You fought your eyes for a few minutes begging them to open when you felt something being dragged over you, Your hand instinctively reached up to protect yourself. 

Hands grabbed at your shoulders and shook you. “Y/N...Y/N? Can you hear me?” You nodded your head slowly, finally managing to open your eyes. Your eyes roamed the room looking for Daryl. You were sure you had heard him. You tried to speak to ask where he was but all that came out was a painful croak. 

Rick pulled you into his arms softly “It’s ok, It’s ok now. You’re safe. I got you” He muttered softly pulling you closer to him. “I’m going to carry you outta here now, Is that okay Y/N?” You nodded and let him lift you into his arms gently feeling his skin against yours as he had used his shirt to try and cover your nakedness. He adjusted the shirt so it was covering you more fully and carried you through the house to the front porch. 

You saw Daryl now he was on his knees on the floor hands covered in blood, His head in Nicole's arms and in front of him was Spencer he wasn’t moving his eyes were wide, He was dead. 

You tried to call out to Daryl again reaching your arm out slightly. “Shh Y/N Don’t try to talk. We gotta get you to Denise” Rick looked at you and saw the blood staining the shirt he had used to cover you. “Shit, We gotta go now. Stay awake for me Y/N Just stay awake” 

He took off running with you still in his arms “DENISE, DENISE GET OUT HERE NOW” “Stay awake Y/N. Don’t you dare go to sleep on me” You gripped rick tighter with your arms trying to reassure him that you were still conscious. 

Daryl looked up tentatively not believing what he was seeing, Two minutes ago he was so sure you were dead and now Rick was rushing you away, It made no sense. 

They placed you on the examination table in the infirmary Denise quickly removing and assessing your wounds. “Rick grab me some morphine from that cabinet, I also need a needle, wire and some gauze should all be in there” 

He hurriedly put them all on the table next to you and watched her start work, He looked down at you and realised you were naked again. “Uhm Denise if there's nothing else you need. I’ll go and update the guys waiting” You looked at him panicked now grabbing his hand and shook your head no at him. 

“Ok Y/N, OK. I got you, I’m not going anywhere” He sat with you and held your hand the entire time Denise was working you over only letting go to help her or grab something. 

“We’re done, Would you take her through to the other room and get her in a more comfortable bed? And I'll go grab her some food and water.” He nodded at her and mumbled an apology to you before putting his arms around you and lifting you back to his chest again. 

You were shocked by how comforting it was feeling his skin on yours, You nuzzled your head into his chest as he carried you, Finally feeling safe in someone’s arms, Rick tried to put you down on the bed but you couldn’t face this feeling being gone, You knew if he did you would wake up and it would all be a dream. 

Rick looked at you torn but ultimately decided to lie down with you letting you curl into his body. Denise was back then eyeing the two of you before handing over the tray with stew and a bottle of water, Rick nodded his head at her before offering you the tray. The stew was heaven going down you smiled up at Denise gratefully. 

Washing it down with the bottle of water, You tried to speak again. “Daryl..?” Thank god you were scared after two months it may have taken a lot longer for your vocal chords to warm up. Rick just looked at you and shrugged “I thought he’d of been in here by now, I’m sure he will be along soon” 

You took another drink of water “Did he ever love me?” You croaked out desperately. You felt the tears fall down your face, “He never loved me” 

Rick cleared his throat “Any chance you can get her something to wear Denise?” 

Daryl’s pov

He felt Nicole's arms around him dragging him away from Spencer, He had killed her so he had killed him. Daryl had promised him he would, He just wished he had done it sooner, If he had, None of this shit would have happened and he would be lying in bed right now with Y/N happy. 

He was crying into Nicole's chest now wrapping his arms around her and holding on for dear life when he heard a commotion from behind him. He didn’t look. What was the point? Nothing mattered any more. 

Nicole was shaking him then “Daryl, Daryl look” You followed her eye line and saw her, Her eyes were open she was alive? 

He was acutely aware of everything now. He could hear rick screaming for help, Y/N curling arms around his neck as he ran. Carol at his side pulling him to his feet. “C’mon Daryl we gotta get you cleaned up.” He let Carol drag him home in shock. She turned to Nicole “I’ve got him now, I think you should get going. I need to get him to Y/N” She glared at her now, Nicole breaking under the glare “mm okay, I’ll come see you later D?” 

Carol snapped back “I don’t think that’s wise, Bye now” She pulled Daryl into the house with more urgency and sat him down on the same stool she sat him on when she told him Y/N was missing. Carol then brought a wet cloth over and started cleaning his hands, Cleaning the cloth and repeating until the blood was gone, Next she worked on his face and neck removing all signs of the fight with Spencer. 

As she was finishing up there was a frantic knocking on the door, Rushing over to answer she found Denise on the porch. “Hey Carol, Sorry to bother you so late! Any chance you could grab some clothes for Y/N and something for her to sleep in? Oh um also…. Daryl….Could Rick borrow a shirt?” 

Carol smiled at her “Come in Denise, I’ll just be a minute” Carol disappeared down to the basement while Denise made her way to Daryl. 

“You ok?” He briefly nodded back at her. “She is too, you know in case you were wondering?” Was she making it out like he didn’t care? Was she fuckin kiddin? Of course he cared. He just couldn’t face her yet, The shame was overbearing. She had been so close and he hadn’t been the one to save her. 

Carol came back with a handful of clothes and gave them to Daryl. “Go on now, You’ll take these and let poor Denise get some rest!” He just nodded numb knowing better than to even try and argue with Carol. Getting to his feet he shuffled to the door and down to the infirmary. It took him 5 minutes of pacing outside the door before he could get up the courage to go in. 

He knocked on the door Denise had told him they would be in and his heart broke again. There she was still as beautiful as ever, Still naked and wrapped in the wrong arms. It was a nightmare he would have most nights, He threw his shirt at Rick. Glaring at him, Rick tried to move away from Y/N now Daryl was here. “Noo, You said you wouldn’t leave me Rick” She croaked, Rick looked over at Daryl Apologetically before trying to calm Y/N

Daryl knelt on his knees at the side of the bed and tried to hold her hand, Y/N pulled away as if she had been shocked. Fresh tears running down her face. 

She looked up at Rick again. “It’s ok Y/N your safe, He won’t hurt you” 

Y/N’s POV

Daryl was here, He was really here after the last two months desperate to have him see you, You now didn’t know what to do. You were scared he didn’t love you, So why would he be here now. 

You looked at his warily seeing the torment on his face when you pulled away from him and into Rick. Rick said it was safe but was it? You let Rick pull away this time. “Ok, If you say so. Could you uh give us a minute?” 

“Sure Y/N i'll leave you guys too it” 

You nodded a thanks and watched him leave throwing a shirt over his head as he went. You sat in silence watching the door Rick left through. 

“Y/N” His voice was trembling. “Y/N please look at me” “Baby PLEASE” You flinched and wrapped your arms around yourself when he raised his voice. 

“No baby no, Ya aint gotta be scared of me, Please i’d never, I couldn’t. I love ya Y/N” 

Your eyes flared feeling the anger “No you don’t, I could see you. I saw you give up on me. I saw you laughing and getting closer to her. I was made to watch all of it, While he told me how much you didn’t care and all the things you were doing that I couldn’t see…. He said….He said you didn’t love me..,You can’t love me...Look at me Daryl who could ever love me now” 

You felt the bed sink as he climbed onto it with you, You tried to squirm away from him but his arms found you first, He pulled you into his chest and you instantly felt calm...That damn motor oil smell mixed with him was enough to make you melt. You hated that he had this effect on you even now. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I should’ve been here to protect ya, I should’ve been the one to save ya.” He was hugging you tighter and tighter now “I thought ya were dead, I was gonna join ya” He murmured into your hair. 

“I never gave up on ya, not really. I searched every face i saw waiting for ya to come back to me” 

You still stayed silent, too scared to interrupt him you knew he wouldn’t open up like this to you again and as much as your mind was telling you he was lying to you, Your heart was opening up to him again. You wrapped your arms around him suddenly sobbing. 

“I aint ever stop loving you sunflower, Ya my whole heart”

“Why...Look at me i’m ruined” You stuttered

“Ya aint ruined, Ya strong, incredible beautiful” 

“I’m not Daryl, I let him break me. You don’t know the things he did if you knew you’d hate me”

“I’d never hate you Y/N, No matter what he did it wouldn’t change how I feel. Ya can tell me anything.” 

You lay in each other's arms till morning in silence both wide awake just grateful you were in this moment together. When the sun started coming through the windows he broke the silence. 

“Let’s get ya dressed k?” You nodded and let him help you out of bed and pull your pyjamas over you. Once you had finished Denise walked in. “Good morning Y/N How are you feeling?” 

“Sore...Tired… Can i go home now?”

“I’d really like you to stay here for a few more days so i can keep an eye on you but you know your body. D’ya think you will be okay?” 

You nodded quickly to her “Can you took me home? I’d really like to be in my own bed - I mean your bed….If that’s okay?” You looked up at him nervously half expecting him to tell you it was no longer your home. 

He nodded at you. Denise piped up again “Fine but complete bed rest, I’ll be checking on you every few hours i don’t want to catch you on your feet, not even once until you’ve healed more” 

Daryl pulled you into his arms sweeping you off your feet. “Ya heard the lady stay off your feet, Thank ya Doc” 

He strode out of the office quickly happy to have you back in his arms again. It seemed the whole town was out to see you leave waiting on news, Daryl growled at the ones who tried to approach and carried you home as quickly as he could, He paused at the door to the basement. “Ya sure Y/N?” You nodded at him happily “I’m sure” 

He carried you down the stairs and lowered you gently to the bed. You noticed there was a thin layer of dust in here his pillow was even exactly as you had left it. 

Daryl rubbed the back of his head nervously. “Ya uhm i haven’t been in here since well since you were” You grimaced the thought of him in this bed was one of the thoughts that had gotten you through. 

“I’ll let ya sleep Y/N Ya don need me hoverin” 

“Daryl I need you here, I need to know that when I wake up it wasn’t all a dream and you’re still here. Please don’t leave me” Silently he went to his side of the bed and lay down, Arms pinned at his side. You giggled slightly and stopped the feeling and sound so alien to you now, He looked at you curiously as you touched your lips in awed confusion. 

You lifted your head naturally as you always did, This was your prompt for him to squeeze his arm through the gap. You were happy when he followed suit and pulled you to him. 

He breathed in the scent of you “I’m here now baby” This was the moment you had been longing for the entire time you were apart you smiled as you drifted asleep in his arms. 

You had listened to doctors orders for the first time in your life allowing Daryl and Carol to take care of you, You had seen Nicole come around for Daryl a few times with Carol shooing her away. You couldn’t blame her, Even if it did make you a little jealous. He was intoxicating. After the fourth day on bed rest you asked Daryl to help you shower. His eyes grew hard when he helped you undress the pain crossing his face when he saw you fully. He carried you into the shower and left to take off everything but his boxers and vest. He got back in with you and cradled you for a little while letting the water wash over you both before he started to gently wash you.

Feeling his hands run over your body was electric, You couldn’t believe you were capable of feeling such lust for him still. After everything your body had sustained it still wanted him with everything you had. 

He was careful not to touch you too much as he washed your body and then your hair. You could feel him growing hard on your back before he quickly moved his core away from you. 

He left the water on carrying you out of the shower, grabbed a towel wrapping you tightly and brought you back to the bed and leaving you to change. Taking a shirt and some lounge pants with him back to the bathroom. You could hear his wet clothes hit the floor, Knowing he was naked with water cascading down him in the next room was almost enough to send you over the edge. When he came back he was dry and fully dressed again any hint of his growing erection gone. You were sad to see this but also knew you weren’t fully ready for anything to happen yet. 

Daryl joined you in bed again still not speaking a word pulling you into his arms and allowing you to drift peacefully to sleep. 

You awoke suddenly his arms were gone and you could hear rustling on the other side of the room, Allowing your eyes to open slowly you looked over and there he was in all his glory back turned to you looking for a pair of boxers. You couldn’t have stopped yourself even if you had tried, He turned to you as you approached, wrapping your arms around him wanting to feel every inch of exposed beautiful skin. 

He gripped your arms pulling you off of him and quickly dressed. 

Finally he looked at you “Doc says you’re off bed rest now and Rick needs me on guard duty. I’m sorry Y/N but i need to go” You nodded sadly at him, You were being selfish keeping him to yourself all this time. It had probably been killing him being locked away with you not being able to help the group. That was your man. Completely and utterly selfless. 

He kissed you briefly on the forehead before turning and leaving, Calling over his shoulder. “Carol’s waiting upstairs for you, She made breakfast” 

Smiling to yourself it had been too long since you had had some quality time with Carol, Getting changed quickly and lacing your boots up and walking into the kitchen. Your smile grew wider when you saw her and the food on the counter. 

“PANCAKES!” You rushed to the plate “Thank you thank you thank you” You exclaimed digging in immediately. 

You could hear Carol chuckling next to you. “It’s so lovely to see you still love these” 

Then with a wink “I’m still not telling you the secret though” You groaned happily “I’ll get it out of you one day lady” 

She regarded you thoughtfully “Well how about a trade?” You raised your eyebrow at her. “What kind of trade?” You asked with a full mouth 

Carol tutted at you “Y/N don’t talk with your mouth full!” She scolded. You grumbled “Sorry!” 

You smiled at her again, eating the pancakes as quickly as you could, Washing it down with water. 

“Sooooo….What kind of trade?” 

“I’ll tell you my secret ingredient if you tell me what happened down there” You froze panic rising through your veins. She was at your side instantly arms around you comforting you “Y/N i’ve told you about Ed and when i started letting people in and talking about what he did to me it no longer defined me and i was able to move on. I just want the same for you. I won’t push but when you're ready to tell me. I’ll always be ready to listen” 

It was your turn to regard her thoughtfully this time. Sighing you started from the night he took you and forced the words out, Forcing yourself to get it off your chest. Carol looked at you in horror and tears in her eyes when you had finished. 

Pulling you closer she choked out “I’m so sorry Y/N I promise he can’t hurt you any more, He’s with my Ed now. Rotting in hell” 

She had been right once you had spoken about it and shared your horrors. It felt like she was carrying some of the weight for you. Breathing deeply, trying to enjoy the lessening of the pressure on your chest. You spent at least another hour with her just holding you while you both cried. 

Over the next few weeks you found yourself opening up to Carol more and more everyday. You knew that you would never fully be over it especially now things had gone back to how they were before you and Daryl had gotten together the first time. He came home at night wrapping you in his arms and left at first light barely speaking two words to you. 

Your head was wrapped in thoughts of him again when Carol spoke up.

“Ok enough of this now Sweetie, we're getting you out of this house” Carol smiled at you wiping your face with her hand. Jumping to your feet “Yes please!” You left the house arm in arm ignoring the stares from the neighbours and occasionally stopping to say hello to someone or have a quick conversation. You both stopped at the gates looking out. Carol looked up at the tower seeing Daryl was gone. 

“Now for the fun part! We’re going for some smash therapy!” She nodded at Sasha who handed you a bag with weapons, Discussing the small herd on the west side of the fence who were causing a little trouble. Sasha flung the gate open quickly and you both ran out. Laughing, finally feeling free outside of those stuffy gates you quickly turned serious, running after Carol gripping the two machete’s in your hands. 

You worked together drawing a few away at a time and swiftly taking them down. Exhausted but happy you made your way back to the gate knocking on the front. The gate opened sharply. 

Shit… It wasn’t Sasha.. 

Daryl’s POV

All this time he had waited for you to be back in his arms, He was torn. He felt like the luckiest man on the planet and also like the worst one. He felt so guilty every time he saw her face and what that monster had done to her beautiful body. 

When Denise had come to say that Y/N was cleared to resume as normal all he could think about was getting away from those mixed up feelings for a few hours and was even more grateful when Rick had asked him to go back to guard duty. 

He was just about to pull some clothes on when he felt her grab him, He pulled her arms from him pinning them to her side and quickly dressed feeling ashamed. He wanted her more than anything but he knew if he had felt her skin on his for even a moment longer he would give in to his primal urges and after all she had been through he couldn’t risk that now.

He ran out telling her about breakfast nodded to Carol and headed to the guard tower not thinking in his rush. He climbed up to the top and saw Nicole waiting for him “Uhm Hey Stranger” He smiled “Hey yaself” he reached over his shoulder to grab his - Shit. “I’ll be back gotta go get ma bow” Nicole nodded at him and turned her eyes back outwards. 

He climbed back down and ran back to the house. Not wanting to disturb Carol & Y/N he opened the door softly and crept into the hall, He was inches away from his bow when he heard Y/N talking “He forced himself on me night after night Carol and if i fought he made it a thousand times worse, He would cut me or use a cattle prod on me and if they weren’t close enough it was whatever was closest at the time.” Daryl froze in the hall her words washing revulsion over him.

He didn’t want to hear anymore but he couldn’t make his legs move so he stayed in place just listening to her talk wanting to kill the son of a bitch all over again. After what felt like an eternity he heard Carol console her and he was finally able to move his limbs again. Creeping back outside he felt the sickness come over him and darted behind the house loosing his breakfast. 

He made his way back to the guard tower trying to forget all the things he had heard. He found it even hard to look at her now the shame was becoming a part of him tearing him limb from limb every time she looked at him. He was sure she felt it too, How she didn’t hate him for what she had been through he didn’t know Daryl despised himself. 

He kept out of her way only coming home to sleep and comfort her in the night when it was too dark to see those beautiful eyes staring up at him. 

Nicole had become his solace once more, She was easy to be around and made him laugh, Forgetting for a few moments about the hidden guilt he carried with him now.

He was with her coming onto guard laughing as usual with Nicole's hand on his chest when he saw them return. Y/N had to be covered head to toe in walker blood. Seething he ran to the gate pulling it violently open.

Y/N Pov

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N YA TRYING TO FUCKIN GET YASELF KILLED?” He screamed at you. You froze walking back into Carol in fear. 

She walked inside with you covering your body with hers. “Daryl, Enough!” Carol snapped at him. 

He roared eyes dark “NO ITS NOT ENOUGH, YA COULDA OF DIED Y/N. I WASN'T THERE TO KEEP YA SAFE, YA’D BE DEAD AND I WOULD BE HERE” He choked “Alone...Alone again” Nicole walked forward and put her hand on his shoulder.

You were sobbing now, Rick had wandered over hearing Daryl’s shouts. You darted over to him. Instinctively wrapping your arms around him and burying yourself in his chest. Rick had checked in on you everyday since he rescued you and you found yourself being drawn to him, Not in the same way as Daryl he wasn’t quite the sun in your universe. But he was comforting to spend time around, He listened to you and it was only him and Carol that didn’t look at you like a wounded animal. 

Rick wrapped his arms around you protectively. “Daryl quit your hollerin, What's goin on here”

Daryl watched you seek protection from him and it was just too much, He turned and walked away muttering to himself. “C’mon you two, Come tell me what just happened” Rick said once Daryl had disappeared with Nicole following him.

You all walked back to Rick’s home that he shared with his son Carl and infant Daughter Judith. You happily sunk to the floor hugging Judith. There was something so comforting about being around an innocent that didn’t know of this world and its pain yet. You wished you could protect her from all of it.

Carol sat with Rick and guiltily explained what the two of you had done. You could tell Rick wasn’t happy with it but let it go when he saw that you were both completely unharmed. 

You had tried to talk to Daryl after that and he had pretended you didn’t exist. You were grateful that because of your growing friendship with Rick he had let you stay with him and the kids. 

You found yourself spending more time watching Daryl wishing he would just look at you but he never did. 

It was on one of these nights watching him that you saw it and he broke you all over again..

<---- Previous Chapter                                Next Chapter ---->

[sneezy-cheeseloaf]

recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory

because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up

movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable

tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football

holy shit is this how tony dies

“pep” ouc h

oh hey he’s home, dope

The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember

“perhaps i judged you too harshly”

“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”

“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????

steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly

and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did

a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig

i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later

the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause

scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it

somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same

“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”

cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit

oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That

and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel

time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake

“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch

gang leaves dejectedly

peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck

cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember

“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”

“i love you 3000″

Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel

cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does

“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.

thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would

The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next

scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world

and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times

“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”

during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing

“i consider this an absolute win!!”

cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in

“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing

i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is

“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”

“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right

“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”

time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not

somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason

time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator

“NO STAIRS”

tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.

i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it

i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do

thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen

and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways

a mother always knows

"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy

and we have our hammer back

cue sobbing on vormir

“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.

nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin

other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six

“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve

yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now

tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat

Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him

snap rest in peace bruce’s arm

cue every single person in the theater holding their breath

“guys. it worked.”

cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang

but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot

i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”

everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters

and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically

oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there

i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”

cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally

oh shit thor’s about to be killed????

OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER

cue the theater screaming as they should

hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should

shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one

somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing

steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this

our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try

“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”

“steve. STEVE. on your left.”

cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced

the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart

now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war

i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again

cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there

PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN

“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little

and the battle for the ages commences

we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.

this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway

“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”

“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin

“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her

t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care

oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time

somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from

we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute

carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????

carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power

“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”

damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck

somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”

the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen. 

cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger

i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before

oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.

wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky

WAIT HOLDUP

“i am inevitable”

“and i. am iron man.”

the theater, once again holds its breath

all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook

thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot

and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic

oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony

wait

wait hold on

wait hold on a minute

“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”

“pep.”

“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”

i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.

this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears

“proof that tony stark has a heart”

i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.

but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.

“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”

“i love you 3000.”

oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process

steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no

“are you sure about this?” “i have to”

“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie

but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad

bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it

oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there

buck and sam go talk to him as they should

“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”

“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”

sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal

clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies

and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.

and that’s about all i remember

i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin

i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is

[trillgutterbug]

i have Questions about both those narcos fics but call amado maybe... hello 👀

call amado maybe is the result of @lingua-mortua and i (i think she named it actually, because she’s very funny) trying to figure out the sequence of events in canon between amado and pacho first meeting each other at that very fraught summit with miguel, where amado is very clearly uncomfortable and doesn’t like him much, and then their next interaction, which is amado throwing miguel’s crusty ass directly under pacho’s huge oncoming bus. like what happened in there?? how did they decide to trust each other? when did they talk?? how’d pacho even broach the topic? and we determined that a) pacho likes phone sex, b) amado likes attention, and according to the rules of algebra, a+b=69. and in the process of these things being true, there needed to be about 30k of pacho very seductively convincing amado that a lil dick is good for him! needless to say, i never finish anything, so it’s been languishing in my narcos folder for like a year, but. it’s one i poke at every once in a while bc we’ve got a big doc of notes and Thots on the subject, and it’s pretty compelling shit. HOWever, it’s such a clusterfuck of logistics and details, i’d have to rewatch all of mexico and take copious notes, which like. aint nobody got time to suffer through that much miguel angel. anyway, here’s the first scene.

“Amado Carrillo Fuentes,” said the voice on the line. 

Amado blinked. “Hello…?” He knew that voice, the warm, flip familiarity of the words. It made a little alarm bell ring in the back of his head. Belatedly, the pieces clicked. He scowled over his shoulder at Aguilar, who had summoned him for the phone call without saying who it was. Aguilar wasn’t paying attention, whistling as he rummaged in a filing cabinet. Amado was on his own. He braced a hand on the desk, ducking his head. Something told him to keep this conversation quiet. “Señor Herrera.”

Pacho made a soft sound of tutting disappointment. “Are we not on a first name basis?”

“I don’t know, are we?” 

A chuckle. “Oh, I think we should be.” 

Amado resisted the urge to check over his shoulder again. Aguilar was a jackass, and certainly not above eavesdropping, but the defensive prickling of Amado’s nerves had everything to do with who was on the other end of the call, not who was in the room with him. “If you say so.”

The smile was audible in Pacho’s voice. “I do.” 

Although it was cooler in the trailer than out under the noon sun, Amado was still sweating, damp down the length of his spine. He plucked at the open collar of his shirt, trying to summon a breeze. “What can I do for you?”

“Excellent question,” said Pacho. There was an odd noise in the background, shrill, echoey with distance. A whistle? “Your new airstrip in Chiapas, have you broken ground yet?”

Amado hesitated. “Last week.” There was no reason not to answer truthfully, was there? If things went according to Miguel Ángel’s clusterfuck of a plan, all their business with Cali would hinge on Chiapas before long. Much sooner rather than later, in fact. Amado grimaced, rapping a knuckle on the edge of the wooden desk to be safe. "Why? Are you changing the schedule on us?" 

"Of course not." Pacho's tone was so soothing it made Amado scowl harder. “Félix said as soon as possible, didn’t he?”

Amado shut his eyes. They stung with sweat. He pressed the heel of his palm into them, one after the other. “He did.”

“And I promised to deliver.” 

More noise in the background, this time shouts and hollering, although they lacked the edge of implied violence. It was strangely familiar. “Are you at a game?” Amado blurted. 

A second of silence, punctuated by what Amado recognized as another whistle blast. “Just about to go on the field,” said Pacho.

Amado blinked his eyes clear, surprised. “You’re playing?” 

“Center forward.”

Amado tried to picture it. Pacho Herrera - infamous in his slick suits and meticulous hair, his pristinely shining shoes, his reserved cunning - sweating and muddy on a football field. It was probably a vanity project, one of those honorary positions on a purchased team where the defenders kept Don Pacho from getting a scraped knee at the cost of their own heads. “Huh,” said Amado.

“Do you play?”

Amado barked a laugh before he could stop it. “No, man. I have better shit to do.” Too late, he could have strangled himself, but Pacho only laughed as well. 

“Fair enough. But do you watch?”

Amado shrugged. He finally glanced over his shoulder. Aguilar was frowning at a fat folder opened in his hands, mouth moving as he read. “Sure, sometimes.”

More hollering, more whistle blowing. “Chiapas,” said Pacho.

“Yeah, right, Chiapas. What about it?”

“I’m sending someone to liaise with your crew there. He’ll be arriving Wednesday.”

“Uh,” said Amado. A strange, defensively guilty sensation came over him - jumpiness like a teacher had told him to open his locker for inspection even though he knew it contained no contraband. “What for?”

Pacho made a little hmm sound, a dismissive moue. “It’s nothing personal. This is a large shipment Félix will be handling for us, and assuming it goes well, not the last of its kind. Chiapas will be important for both our businesses, going forward. My partners and I would like to have first-hand knowledge of it. We don’t want any easily avoidable incidents, do we?”

Amado frowned. What kind of incident could happen in Chiapas that the Cali cartel could possibly care about? As Pacho had reminded them in Panama, if anything happened to the coke after it left Colombia, the consequences were on Félix’s head alone. Well, not alone. Amado could easily picture the maelstrom of shit avalanching downhill in his direction. On second thought, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for Cali to okay the operation in advance. 

“What are you calling me for, then?” Amado asked. “Have you talked to Félix about this?”

Another hmm, this time loaded in a way Amado couldn’t identify. “I’d much rather talk to you,” said Pacho. 

A concerning little curl of uncertainty coiled itself in Amado’s belly. “Oh?”

“You handle transportation, don’t you? Why concern the king with the business of generals?”

Amado heard the mocking emphasis on the word king. He almost smiled. “Are we generals, you and I?” 

Pacho chuckled. “I understand how things work.” Unspoken, the sentiment that Miguel Ángel did not. 

Amado chewed his bottom lip. “Alright,” he said at last. “Wednesday. But the airfield isn’t ready for planes, yet.”

“Of course. I’m sending a flight to Corazón de María. It’s arriving at noon. He’ll need to be picked up.”

Ah. Amado saw where this was going. “And I suppose I’ll be doing that personally, huh? I might be busy Wednesday, I don’t know if I’ll have time to fly to Chiapas.”

“I wouldn’t dream of telling you how to run your operation, Amado.” 

The uncertainty in Amado’s belly curled a bit tighter at the way Pacho said his name. It was as casual as it was intimate, the menace implied. “Sure,” said Amado. 

On Pacho’s end there came a wild, roaring cheer and a flurry of exuberant sound. A goal, maybe. 

“I’m up,” Pacho said. “It’s been a pleasure talking to you.”

“Yeah.” Amado hesitated. “You too.”

“Oh,” said Pacho. “The man I’m sending. Navegante. Be respectful to him.”

Amado frowned. What the hell did Pacho think he was going to do, ditch his sicario at the airport and call his mother a pigfucker? “I understand how things work,” he echoed. 

“Certainly.” There was a definite edge of humor in Pacho’s voice. “Have a lovely day, Amado.” He hung up before Amado could respond.

Amado stared at the phone in his hand, blinking. “What the fuck, man,” he muttered.

“Good talk?” asked Aguilar.

Amado turned around. He tugged his sunglasses down his nose so he could properly aim a double middle finger. “Funny joke. Give me some fucking warning next time, huh?”

Aguilar squinted innocently, the folder still open in his hands. “What do you mean?”

Amado shook his head. He headed for the door. “Never mind, asshole.”

[irwinkitten]

brat tamer | poly!kayshton

notes: surprise! did u really think i wasn’t gonna post a fic of my mans on my own birthday??? lmao i know that this aint everyone’s cup of tea, HOWEVER it’s my birthday and I’ll post what I want to. I was gonna do another idea however it’s been shelved for now because i just couldn’t get my inspo going. a lot has been going on but this has genuinely been such a joy to write for this week. prompt was picked out by @sexgodashton​ and obvs it’s our faves. this was written more for us than anything and i’m not sorry about that lmao prompts: “Trust me.” | “You could have warned me.”  warnings: smut, use of the word daddy so if it aint your cup of tea, don’t read it.  word count: 2k oops 

donate to my ko-fi here 

(also not using my tagging list for this one as I know that there are more than a few people who aren’t interested and that’s fine.) 

-

Your hands were clasped in front of you as you waited patiently for Ashton to get to the car. His jaw was tense and you kept your gaze on the floor, but Kaykay stood next to you, defiant and beautiful, smug and rightfully so. 

She’d been winding both you and Ashton up, but you’d behaved, not feeling like playing up. Ashton has muttered how you were so docile and good for him earlier and your mind had it ringing around for the entirety of the day, unable to get it out. 

You didn’t want to be his bad girl and he could see that. You’d even snapped back at Kaykay when she tried to push you. She didn’t try a second time. 

The drive home was silent. 

When you were in the house and the door was shut, a firm slap sounded and you tried not to jump at the noise. Kaykays whine made Ashton roll his eyes. 

“You acted like a brat today, don’t think you get out of your punishment just because our little one was so well behaved. Get upstairs and if you’re not stripped when we get there, you will be in trouble. 

This was news to you, but you remained still, waiting until Kaykay made her way upstairs dramatically. 

“You know how you wanted to try and take charge little one?” Your breath caught. 

“Daddy.” The word came out breathless as his hand cupped your face, caressing your skin gently. You leaned into the touch, watching his face soften at the small show of affection. 

“I saw how annoyed you got at Peachy, little one. She managed to push your patience, so what better time? I’ll still be in charge of you, and I’ll direct if you want me to, but you’re handling her punishment today.” And you felt the anxiety disappear. As much as you wanted to try being in control, it was daunting to your mind. Knowing that you still fell under Ashton’s power and role eased any worries as you nodded to him. 

“Trust me. Tell me what you want to do sweetheart.” The term of endearment was different, but you found that with this power dynamic, you enjoyed it. 

“I want to ruin her orgasms. I wanted to enjoy mine and now I can’t since she’s being like this.” The pout on your lips made him chuckle. 

“Any other ideas? Daddy won’t get mad if you use some of his, sweetheart.” And you felt your face flush at how easily he could read your face. 

“Can we tie her up, use the crop till she cries?” It was a favourite of Ashton’s, to bring you to tears when you’d been bratty. And you were fascinated with the possibility of doing that to her, to see it from his perspective. 

“Of course. It’s your show, and I’m going to enjoy this front seat that I have for it.” And then a wicked grin curved across your lips, making him pause. 

“Wanna ride you, show her what being a brat made her miss out on.” And he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your lips that left you breathless. 

“Oh we’ve definitely pulled out that small sadistic streak. Daddy can do that for you sweetheart. Shall we go see what our brat is up to?” And you nodded, allowing him to lead the way, his hand in yours as the thrill of excitement shot down your spine.

As you entered the room, a frown marred your features as a moan slipped from Kaykays lips, her fingers working herself. Ashton was quick enough to grip her wrist, a whine escaping before falling silent at the look on your face. 

“Gonna punish me angel?” Her voice was sickly sweet and you glanced at Ashton who nodded once. And you allowed a grin to settle on your lips. 

“Since I’m daddy’s good girl, I get to call the shots. Hands and knees, brat.” And the look of shock was worth it before Ashton forced her over onto her stomach. 

“You gonna use the buckle ones or the metal cuffs, sweetheart?” He was giving you options.  

“She’s gonna tug and I don’t wanna hurt her too much. So buckle.” And you watched as he took pleasure in teasing her, the way his hands trailed down her body as she gripped the headboard to steady herself. 

“Daddy.” The whine from Kaykay made him laugh as he climbed off the bed, stripping down and slowly undressing you, his fingers and lips working your skin to get you moaning. 

Then he took a seat that was within Kaykays eyesight if she turned her head, patting his lap. 

“Want me to fuck you now or later?” He asked as you straddled a thigh, edging you closer to your orgasm. And you wanted to say now, but you knew this would be so much better after denying yourself a few times. 

“Later.” You moaned and he stopped, allowing you to catch your breath. Glancing back, Kaykay hadn’t taken her eyes off you as you moved towards her. Your fingers grasped her ass, squeezing the flesh before pulling away. And she groaned in frustration. 

Picking up the crop that was out of sight, you waited till her body relaxed and then you struck her skin, a startled yelp escaping her. 

“Count for daddy, brat.” 

If she wasn’t turned on before, she certainly was now as she started off mumbling the numbers, Ashton silently indicating to hit her harder. And then she was speaking loudly, a few tears trailing from the corners of her eyes. You stopped when you got to twenty five, her knuckles white from gripping the headboard. So you slid a finger into her and nearly moaned at how wet she was. 

“Daddy, she’s dripping.” You gasped and he smirked, a small chuckle falling from his lips. 

“Taste her sweetheart. Taste what you do to her.” And you did, a moan escaping before you dipped your fingers back in, sauntering over to Ashton, holding your coated fingers to his lips. He smiled as he took them into his mouth, his eyes never leaving yours as he cleaned the digits with his tongue, your mind pausing for a second before his fingers squeezed your ass, pulling you back to the present, soft whimpers coming from behind you. 

“Gonna apologise?” You hummed, being met with a few sniffles. Shrugging at Ashton’s curious look, you headed to the toy box the three of you had, pulling out the hitachi and plugging it in. 

She whimpered as you set it to the most brutal feeling setting, trailing it along her back. 

“I’m asking you again, are you going to apologise?” Silence was your answer so you dragged it so that it was resting on her clit. She was immediately squirming, so you smacked the flesh gently, causing her to hold still. You could see her legs begin to tremble as she started getting louder and you counted before pulling the wand away and a frustrated shout escaped her. 

“Gonna apologise?” You taunted but she held firm in her silence. 

So you repeated the process. 

You changed the settings, making her squirm and then denying every single orgasm. 

You got to seven before she started crying, begging you to let her cum and you simply smirked in return. 

“I’ll ask you again, are you going to apologise?” She held her silence and you denied the next orgasm. 

Only when you hit ten, did she break. 

“I’m sorry, please I’m so sorry I’ll be good. Please please let daddy fuck me.” Tears were falling and you turned to Ashton who nodded. 

“Cum all you want to then, Peachy. But daddy gets to fuck me.” You strapped the wand to her thigh, her entire body trembling as her first orgasm washed over her.

Ashton had readjusted the chair so you could watch her as you sank onto his cock, your moan mingling with hers as the wand worked her clit. 

Ashton was ruthless, his hands holding you still as he fucked into you, leaving marks littered all over your body. 

In the time that Ashton sent you over three times before chasing his own one, Kaykay was a quivering mess, you slid to her side, moving the wand once more and she whimpered. 

“One more peachy. Want you to cum for me.” You whispered and she went, her entire body shaking as you turned the wand off, unbuckling her. 

Ashton stepped in, scooping her as he indicated to the bathroom. 

“Run the bath sweetheart. Let’s take care of our girl.” She was babbling her apologies amidst her tears and you felt mildly bad as you did so, Ashton bringing her in and telling you to climb in behind her. 

Holding her body reassured you she was okay as you and Ashton cleaned her up. 

Once all three of you were clean and settled into new sheets, she clung to you, and you simply did what she did with you, running your fingers through her hair before she fell asleep, your eyes meeting Ashton’s. 

“You did good little one.” And you felt yourself settle as you relaxed into the warmth of your girlfriend and slept easily.

When you woke up, Kaykay was still pressed into you, but you could feel what woke you up, her lips on your skin and a soft ‘oh’ escaped you. 

“Angel you were so good last night.” She murmured and you glanced at Ashton who was passed out, returning your gaze to Kaykay who smirked. 

“I’m not gonna be a brat, angel. Daddy knows I wanna thank you for last night. Can I thank you angel? Leave my marks all over you like daddy did?” And you hesitated. 

You wanted her, wanted her to reclaim her dominance and you wanted to submit. But you didn’t want to disappoint Ashton. 

Almost as if he could sense the turmoil in your thoughts, he turned over, hazel eyes studying you carefully. 

“Let daddy watch Peachy thank you, little one. You let daddy appreciate you, now it’s peachy’s turn.” His morning voice was gravelly but you relaxed into the mattress as her lips began to work your chest. 

“You could’ve warned me he was awake and I wouldn’t have hesitated.” You moaned softly, your back arching into her touch.

“Daddy, can I fuck her with the toy you got us? Show her that she does it for me too?” And he must’ve nodded because suddenly his lips were on yours as she got off the bed and rummaged. 

There was a telltale buzz of the vibrator. And then you felt the rounded edge of the dildo and you moaned into the kiss with no hesitation, making Ashton pull away to chuckle.

“Look at our needy little girl daddy.” And you can't help but whimper as your hips rise to meet her thrusts.

“So good for us. Taking control last night. Tell me little one, what do you want peachy to do to you as a thank you? Don’t worry about daddy, he’s just gonna enjoy the show.” 

“Fuck me till I can’t think straight.” You whispered and you felt the vibrations go up a setting, 

“Your wish is my command angel.” And you knew you were a goner as the first orgasm washed over you but she kept going. 

Your body felt like a live wire as you met her thrust for thrust until Ashton held your hips down and Kaykay fucked into you. You could feel your coherent thoughts slipping and Ashton noticed immediately. 

“One more peachy. Fuck one out of her.” And you could only watch as he jerked himself off, his own moans mixed with yours as you felt the euphoria fill your body, eyes falling shut as she kept her movements before shuddering over you, switching off the custom strap on. 

“Thank you peachy.” You whispered as she used her tongue to clean you up, lapping at your pussy before crawling up your body. 

“No, thank you angel. You put me in my place when I needed it. You feeling up to a day of just us?” And you felt yourself cuddling closer to her body, making her chuckle. 

“Day of us it is. I’ll make some breakfast, why don’t you two clean up?” Ashton presses a kiss to your temple as Kaykay held you tightly. 

“Sounds perfect. C’mon angel, maybe if we hurry, we can convince daddy to make some blueberry pancakes.” And the grin that spread across your lips relaxed her instantly. 

-

if you wanna be added to my taglist, fill in the form here!! 

[johnkramer-ismy-killerhusband]

Handmade gifts (Thomas Hewitt x Reader) Smut, Grow Them Big Series

What a prefect night to posted a story about getting and recieving. Here is my gift to all of you ❤

As I have said before, any ideas on where you would like to see this series go let me know.

[[MORE]]

Just like you had thought Tommy had not been letting you out of his site after your attack. He even went as far as making a spot downstairs where you could rest while he worked in his space. But what drove you mad about this arrangement was every time you tried to see what he was working on he would grunt at you and block you from seeing in there.

Around five weeks after your attack you had been dozing off in the makeshift bed when you felt him running his fingers down your back. Turning to face him you gave Tommy a sleepy smile before turning to your side. Noticing that Tommy looked scared you sat up quickly and placed your hand on his face.

"Tommy what is it?"

Pulling on your hand Tommy indicated he wanted you to stand in front of him. As you stood in front of his kneeling form you couldn't help but feel your heart race as you felt Tommys hand wrap around your upper thigh, but before you knew it he removed his hands and was messing with something on the ground. After a few more minutes Tommy was looking back up at you as he held out something that looked like a belt. Reaching your hand out slowly you ran it over the nude color hide before picking it up.  Turning it over back and forth you realized that it was actually a holder of some sort. Looking at Tommy you held it back out to him. 

"Show me?"

Taking it back Tommy wrapped it around your waist before wrapping it around your thigh. Stepping back you moved your leg up and down, feeling nothing but smoothness rub against your leg you looked back at Tommy and smiled. Before you could say anything though Tommy was holding up a hunting knife. It was plain in style but you could see that it had been recently sharpened. Wrapping a hand around your knee Tommy brought your leg closer to him and slipped the knife into the holder. Letting go of your leg Tommy had you stepping back once more. Catching on to what he wanted you moved your leg up and down, and just like when the knife wasn't in the holder you felt nothing but smoothness.

"It's perfect Tommy. "

As you reached down to remove it Tommy placed his hand over yours and shook his head. Pulling the knife from its holder Tommy held it a certain way and acted as though he was pulling it from the holder after a couple of times of showing you, Tommy flipped the knife and handed it back to you. Catching on to what he wanted you to do you placed the knife back in its spot then pulled it out as quick as it felt safe to. Nodding his head with how you handle the knife he took it from you and placed it on the ground before helping you remove the holder from your leg and waist. Before he could place that on the ground next to the knife you held your hand out to take another look at it. Handing it over gently Thomas watched as you took a more detailed look at it. 

Like you had noticed the color of the leather was nude and it was smoother than most leathers you have seen. The stitching Tommy used was a criss cross pattern that was made of multiple color threads. Looking at the holder itself caused your breath to hitch, because on the larger part of it you saw that Tommy had stitched a rough heart and under that was the first letter of your name followed by Hewitt. Looking back at Tommy you saw him looking down at the ground, afraid that you would turn his gift away because he placed his last name instead of yours. Gently setting the holder on the ground you stepped closer to Tommy’s kneeling form. Placing a hand on each side of his face you pulled untill he was looking at you. Smiling at him you placed a kiss on his forehead before moving to his cheek. Running your thumbs over his mask you sighed slightly before placing a kiss on the lips of the mask. 

“I can’t wait till the day you feel safe enough to remove this and allow me to properly kiss your lips.” Almost as soon as those words left your mouth you regretted them because Tommy was pushing you back slightly and whining. As you tried to move back to him you were stopped in your tracks as Tommy looked at you with sad eyes and reached for the buckle of the mask. Instantly you were holding your hands up for Tommy to stop. “No Tommy. I am not saying you have to do that. I promised you a long time ago that I would not force you to show me and I mean that. You take that off when you are good and ready.”

Dropping his hands from his masked Tommy reached down and picked the holder back up. Running his finger over Hewitt he looked up at you and did it again. Smiling at him you reached out and ran your hand over Hewitt before taking it and placing it back on the ground. Stepping back into Tommy’s space you brought your hands up to his face again. 

“Yes Tommy I am a Hewitt, I am your Hewitt. No one and I mean no one has made me feel as safe and loved as you have.” 

Like before Tommy placed his hands on your waist and pushed you back gently before reaching up for his mask. After giving you one more scared look he began to unhook the ever present mask. You knew that Tommy was scared of what he was doing, you could see it in his eyes, so you kept your eyes on him as he pulled the mask off. Looking at the ground Tommy set his mask down and waited for what he thought would be screams or gasps coming from you. Instead you remained quiet as you looked over his face for the first time. You could see the scars he inflicted on himself at a young age as he tried to remove the damaged skin on his face. The first thing you thought about when you saw that he had no nose, was how strange it was going to be to kiss him and not have to watch out for his nose. After stepping back into Tommy’s space, you waited for him to look up at you instead of making him. Once he finally did you greeted him with a smile and slowly brought your hand to the side of his face like you have many times before. 

“Thank you Tommy. This is the greatest gift you could have ever given me, next to the knife and it’s holder.”

Moving slowly you brought your lips to Tommy’s and placed a gentle kiss on them. Without warning Tommy pulled you to him, placing his face into your stomach he held onto you so tight it was becoming harder to breath. Bringing your hands up and around his shoulders and neck you just held him as tight and waited for the wetness that suddenly hit your stomach to dry. Eventually Tommy pulled away just enough so that he could look up at you. Without bringing attention to his tears you ran your thumbs over his cheeks again, wiping them away. 

As you continued to stare at Tommy you could feel his hand slowly climbing up your legs and under your dress to your ass. As his large hands kneaded your ass you dropped your hands down to the bottom of your dress and pulled it over your head. You couldn’t help but moan out when Tommy ran his mouth over your stomach. Threading your fingers into his hair you gradually tilted his head back so that his mouth ran over your covered breast. Eventually you had to pull away, both of you moaning at the loss of contact. 

“Ok big guy. Lose the shirt, but keep the pants on. Lord knows if you strip completely I am so going to break that promise to Mama. Then I want to lay down for me, there is some stuff I want to show you that we haven’t done before.” 

You watched as Tommy stood to his full height and removed his shirt before moving to lay in the makeshift bed. Giving him a smirk you removed your bra before sitting down on his hips. The minute you felt his cock twitch in his jeans you rolled your hips and hummed as pleasure shot through your core. You continued to roll them a couple more times before stopping yourself. 

Moving your hair to one side you bent down so that you could run your mouth over Tommy’s chest like he had earlier. Knowing that he learned best by watching, you moved your mouth to his nipple and began to lap and bite at it as he looked down and watched. You couldn’t help but hiss in pain as Tommy’s fingers dug into your hips and when he tried to move them you looked up long enough to tell him “Don’t you dare.” before moving to the other nipple. Eventually you gave Tommy a break and lifted yourself so that you could whisper in his ear. 

“Did you know that there is a thing we can do that is like having sex? I haven't shown you this yet because I have been dying to have you in me, but a promise is a promise and we aint breaking no promise to Mama. The thing is Tommy you have given me so much tonight I can’t help but want to give you this.” 

Pulling your mouth away from his ear you brought it back to his lips and ran your tongue over them before sealing his lips with yours. Breaking the kiss you licked and nibbled on them like you had his nipples before bringing your lower half back down to his. Moving to rest on his thighs you looked up and watched him as he watched you open his jeans, before you could tell him to help move them down some Tommy was already pushing his jeans down his legs.  

You have never been one to give oral sex, but as you sat there and watched Tommy watching you, his cock leaking and twitching between you both, you couldn’t help but bring your mouth down to him. At the first lick to his underside Tommy was shoving his fist into his mouth to muffle his cries. Knowing that you couldn’t fit all of him into your mouth you sucked on the tip while you ran your hands up and down the rest of him. You only stopped when Tommy’s cries became louder and his hips began to thrust up. Tommy’s cries soon turned to whines when you stopped moving your hands.

“It’s ok love. I wanted to show you something remember? Can’t do that if you cum too soon. I promise you will like this just as much, if not more. Just remember, Mama’s don’t want to hear their son’s like this, so you have to try and be quiet as best you can.”

You knew you were taking a risk, but you had to feel Tommy as much as you could. So you moved your underwear to the side before resting your outer lips on his cock, your juices dripping around him. Placing your hands on Tommy’s stomach you looked up to see that Tommy had no idea where to put his hands. Running your nail over his lower stomach you watched as his eyes met yours.

“You can touch me Tommy. Anything you want to do you can do.”

Not giving him any warning you began to roll your hips and almost instantly Tommy’s hands were digging into your thighs as both of you bit your lips to muffle the moans that slipped from your mouths. Knowing that neither of you were going to make it very long you lifted yourself slightly so that when you rolled your hips, your clit brushed against him. You had wanted to keep your eyes open but as you continued to move the pleasure became much and you couldn’t help but close them. Tommy had been doing a good job at keeping his voice down but his moans soon became grunts as his hands tighten their hold and he began to meet the roll of your hips with his own. Digging your fingers into his stomach it became a race to see who would cum first, the basement filling with quiet grunts and moans mixed with heavy breathing. You knew you were going to have bruises on your hips when Tommy’s fingers dug into you as he pulled you down to his pelvis and held you there as he started to cum. And even though his hold had been tight you were still able to roll your hips just enough to send you over the edge yourself. Biting hard into your lip as you came, you could feel yourself pulsate as you continued to roll your hips slowly. 

Dropping your head to rest on Tommy’s stomach you had been catching your breath when you felt Tommy’s hands move from your hips and to your back. He held onto you as he rolled to his side and pulled you to his chest even more. Sliding up a bit you were able to rest your head just under his chin and brought your hand to his face. You could feel him becoming tense but the tension soon left his body when all you did rest your hand on the unmasked part of his face and run your thumb near his lips. You knew you should probably get dressed but the heat coming off of Tommy’s body kept you nice and warm. Eventually though Tommy became uncomfortable with his face being exposed so he ended up rolling to his back so that he could reach his mask and put it back on. Even as he moved and shifted you held on to him and continued to rest against him while looking to the side and not at him. Just as he was settling down though something on the knife holder caught your eye and you were stretching over him to reach for it. You couldn’t help but smile when Tommy instantly brought his hand up to run down your ass and thighs. 

Once you had the holder in your hands you sat up but rested your arm on Tommy’s stomach as you looked over the holder once more. Seeing something that looked like a spot on the leather you ran your thumb over it to clean it off. As you continued to wipe at it you started to notice even more spots, but they had been so light you wouldn’t have noticed them any other time. When you realized that the spot was not going to come off you took one last look at the holder and that is when everything clicked into place, the color of the leather, the spots, and how soft it was. Keeping your eyes on the holder you spoke quietly to Tommy.

“Um, baby. Is this leather made out of human skin?”

Knowing that you needed to look at Tommy for the answer you looked up and saw him nod his head yes, before wrapping his hand around yours. Gently he turned your hand so that your palm was facing up and ran his finger over the still tender scar that sat there. Realizing where he had gotten the skin you wonder what you would have felt if Tommy had given you this when you first joined the Hewitt house hold, but now all you felt was joy in knowing that Tommy made your new gift out of the man that had tried to attack you all those weeks ago. 

[sapphirestarxx]

Through the Night

Chapter 3

Also posted on my AO3

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@lavendertwilight89 @hnnwnchstr @cstormsinukagblog @ravisk @superpixie42 @fawn-eyed-girl

It had been decided to meet at Sango’s apartment and from there they all would search out the location of the rune with Kagome guiding them. Kagome had said that there was an overwhelming feeling of malice coming from the point of origin...more than had been present at the abandoned ruin they had encountered a week before. While there could be no way of knowing exactly what had occurred at the previous attacks, this was undeniably worse than what they had already come across. Whatever this was it was big.

Miroku had been the first to arrive, armed with his holy staff and sutras, and waited while Sango got dressed in her demon slayer gear. Between the staggering evil Kagome was sensing and what was known about the runes, they all wanted to be prepared for the impending altercation that was sure to take place. 

He hadn’t had too many dealings with the slayers before, seeing as his line of work dealt almost entirely with the spiritual side of supernatural problems. Despite this he knew the outfit was a complicated mix of leather, armor plates at the vitals and joints, with various vials and compacts of poisons and powders tucked away into hidden spaces. While he knew in theory what the outfit consisted of he had never had the pleasure of seeing it worn in person, especially not by someone with Sango’s stunning physique.

When Sango exited her bedroom Miroku sucked in a breath at the sight. That skintight black leather that clung to her every curve...it was beyond enticing. There was something so incredibly sexy about it he couldn’t help but take in every inch of her lush form with his gaze. In that moment he knew he would let her do anything to him she wanted and he would enjoy every second of it. Even if it was just her kicking his ass.

He forced himself to drag his eyes away from her body to her face and saw she was looking at him. Something shifted in her eyes and he could tell she knew exactly where his thoughts had gone. He hadn’t exactly been subtle about checking her out but he was a man with eyes and she was exquisite. 

“I like the pink.” He told her, opting for something safer than what he was really thinking. ‘You’re fucking hot and that leather makes me want to do bad things to you.’ would probably not have gone over well. The plates of her armor were a pretty shade of rose and he wondered if it was a concession to her femininity or if it was just her favorite color.

“It’s my favorite color.” Sango admitted after a slight pause confirming his suspicions, and Miroku knew she had probably expected another one-liner out of him. “I know it sounds kind of frivolous but it makes me feel more confident on the job.”

Before he could respond there was a knock and they could both hear Inuyasha through the closed door.

“Hey! Hurry the fuck up, will ya? Let’s get going!”

“Inuyasha! Would it kill you to be a little patient?!” came Kagome’s admonishment.

Sango and Miroku shared a look at their antics, a small secret smile between the two of them before she went to the door, opening it.

“There ya are. What’s the hold up?” Inuyasha said without preamble. The beads for his human glamour were back around his neck but because they all had seen his true form it had no effect on any of them. The glamour only worked so long as a person was unaware of the reality. Once that illusion was dispelled it no longer had any effect.

Kagome was standing beside him in clothes more practical for fighting than her usual attire - jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. A bow and quiver full of arrows was slung over her right shoulder and a look of determination was on her face. Around her wrist was a bracelet that no doubt was disguising her weapons from view of the average passerby.

“We’re ready.” Sango reappeared by his side, her hair tied back in a high ponytail and he noticed the large weapon hoisted across her back, almost as tall as she was. It was in the shape of a boomerang and if he had to guess he would say it was made of demon bone, with brown leather straps at both ends to grip it. Such a weapon had to be heavy but she carried it with ease. He became impressed with her all over again.

Setting out, they followed Kagome, letting her take the lead as she focused on the location of the rune. She had explained that it gave off a feeling, almost like an aura that allowed her to trace it across the city. Finally, she stopped outside of what looked to be a condemned warehouse in the more run down part of the city just as the sun was setting.

“It’s here. I feel it.” Kagome’s voice was full of trepidation. 

Even without her words it would have been obvious. The sheer evil emanating from the place was palpable. As a whole they all readied their weapons and approached the structure, Inuyasha taking the lead. Considering he was the most resilient of the four of them no one fought him on it. The heavy metal door, rusted with disuse, swung open with a creak. 

“Inuyasha, we should be careful. We don’t know what’s waiting for us.” Miroku warned.

“You think I don’t fucking know that?” The half demon scoffed. “Besides this aint nothing I can’t handle.”

‘I wish I had that kind of confidence.’ Miroku thought, sighing.

Cautiously, they entered. Immediately upon crossing the threshold the scent of blood was unmistakable, even to Miroku’s human nose. Shafts of the remaining light of day crept forward from the busted out windows along the walls, helping to illuminate the emptiness inside. It stretched wide, the remnants of what was probably once a bustling business years ago. But the years hadn’t been kind to the place, cracked concrete and chipped paint accentuated by spots of mold and mildew. And worst of all, the decaying bodies towards the back wall, cast halfway into shadow. Underneath the stench of blood was the fetid smell of rot.

“There’s so much blood. Those bodies...” Kagome said in a slightly horrified voice.

“Yes. Likely killed by whatever demon is currently inhabiting this place.” Sango said, her expression grim.

“Where the fuck is it though?” Inuyasha growled.

As they warily made their way deeper inside Miroku’s eyes adjusted to the darkness and he suddenly noticed the thick cobwebs all around. At first he had discounted them as merely vestiges from the deterioration of the place but there were so many, the strands thicker than anything a normal spider could produce. Now that they were closer he could see the dead bodies were pale and bloated, and almost as white as the filaments of web they were cocooned tightly within. Red stained the floor around them where no doubt the victims had struggled before being overtaken by the spider demon. 

Next to the carcasses were white sacs with bulges that shifted every few seconds, ensconced in more web. There had to be at least twenty of them that Miroku could see and it made his skin crawl. They could only be one thing. Spider egg sacs. This was going to get messy.

“Spider demons. Such nasty things.” Sango commented beside him.

“Ew! Are those…?” Kagome didn’t finish the question but they could all see where her line of sight was. She had also noticed the eggs sacs and was staring at them with revulsion. 

“It’s just some fucking spiders. Big deal. I’ll squash them then hunt down the bastard that’s behind all this.” Inuyasha said with his usual bravado.

About midway into the building they still hadn’t seen any sign of the rune but it was a big place. Wherever it was, no doubt it was feeding all the negative energies straight to the person responsible for orchestrating this carnage. Blood sacrifice was the strongest source of power for black magic so Miroku was hardly surprised but it made the scene no less disturbing.

He felt something wet drip onto his shoulder and, with a bad feeling, turned his head to look. He reached up with his free hand to dip his fingers into the fluid and inspect it although he already knew. Blood mixed with some kind of clear fluid…

Sango glanced his way and noticed what he was looking at then locked eyes with him. Understanding dawned. As one they turned their eyes upward and the scene that greeted their gaze was an even worse horror.

More corpses hung from the ceiling suspended from strands of spider silk, dripping blood and what was possibly the remnants of the demon’s poison. The ceiling was covered with the largest spider web he had ever seen and right in the middle of the net was the mother spider demon. It was huge, her body glistening and black, legs splayed across her massive web. The humanoid head had a mane of black hair and was wearing an ugly sneer full of teeth, red eyes trained right on them.

“Look up! It’s on the ceiling!” Miroku called out.

Sango slung her weapon from her back, preparing to throw it while Kagome yelped and Inuyasha readied his sword. The spider demon scuttled from its perch towards the wall where the other bodies and eggs lay, moving with surprising quickness. 

Sango threw her weapon with a battle cry of, “Hiraikotsu!” and the spider demon leapt from the ceiling to the ground at the same time, narrowly avoiding it. The demon knocked it with one of its legs throwing her boomerang off course and into the egg sacs. It landed with a thud and there was the sound of the sacs ripping. Black bodies began pouring out of them.

“Shit. I had a feeling this was going to happen.” Miroku said in resignation as they watched the spider demon babies crawl towards them. There were hundreds. 

“Get them, my children!” The demon hissed as she used her legs to rend the remaining egg sacs open, and the whisper of thousands of legs and bodies scurrying around filled the air.

“Fuck, if I could use the Wind Scar this would be so damn easy.” Inuyasha griped as he leapt forward to meet the mother spider in battle. Miroku agreed; with the modernization of everything using an attack that powerful risked leveling the entire building they stood in, and possibly part of the surrounding structures. Not to mention exposing demonkind to humanity, which would have serious repercussions.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome called out, running after him while casting her gaze about, no doubt still searching for the location of the rune in the huge place.

“Miroku, we should let Inuyasha handle the mother spider and take control of the babies!” Sango called as she drew her sword, cutting a path through the demon spawns, trying to make her way to where her main weapon, Hiraikotsu, lay.

“I was about to suggest the same thing.” Miroku agreed, swinging his staff as they began to be overtaken by the massive outpouring of spider babies. Hundreds. Possibly even bordering on a thousand...the sheer number of them was overwhelming. Miroku took a moment to wonder what would have happened if they hadn’t discovered the scene...the city would have been literally overrun.

Numbers were against them, that much was becoming apparent as they fought against the press of bodies. Miroku’s shakujo burned with holy power where it struck the demons, but there were just so many. Next to him Sango was wielding her wakizashi with expert skill, her movements smooth and practiced, but for every two she cut down ten more took their place. It was never ending. He reached into the jacket he was wearing and pulled out a set of holy sutras and flung them at the demons, activating them with his spiritual powers. The move took out a considerable amount but it was like a drop in the bucket for how many they still faced.

“Miroku, cover your mouth and nose!” Sango suddenly called, and he instantly obeyed, trusting her and creating a barrier with his power to shield them. Without him noticing she had equipped her slayer mask, retrieving a vial of some kind of poison from one of her hidden pouches. She threw it down upon the ground and into the swarm before them. It shattered, releasing a blue cloud that began to spread across the demons. Where it touched the demons started to convulse and cease their movements.

Taking advantage of the momentary reprieve they rushed forward. There were still hundreds attempting to crawl and bite their way at them but they continued to move, Miroku throwing out more sutras and slamming his staff down into the fray while Sango hacked away at them. Even though the situation was serious he still wished he could take a moment to simply stop and watch her. Her movements were so fluid, like a dance of death, and it was captivating.

Just as they had almost reached their goal, the webs all around them shifted suddenly. Shooting out from behind them the strands wrapped themselves around Sango’s leg. Miroku saw it coming and attempted to break the hold with his shakujo, and while it severed part of it, the filaments burning from the holy power, they still held firm. More webs shot out and knocked him to the side. Sango attempted to cut away at the web surrounding her with her sword but more just took their place. As she was dragged upwards more encircled her arms, trapping her movements. She struggled against her bonds and they just gripped her tighter. 

“Sango!!” Miroku cried out, his heart missing a beat.

Kagome had run after Inuyasha when he leapt forward to fight the spider demon head on. Spiders sickened her but she forced herself to concentrate. This was no time to be acting scared. She had a job to do. Besides, she had Inuyasha with her. Even though his attention was being taken up by his fight with the mother spider she trusted that he was fully aware of her safety. Or at least she hoped he was. Preparing her bow with an arrow she stood by and attempted to hone her senses. Where was it…?

There.

“Inuyasha! The marking! It’s back there, on the far wall!” Kagome yelled, already on the move. Almost instinctively she knew she had to destroy it. Break the connection that had been formed between the corruption taking place here and where all that negative energy was flowing. Right now it was a conduit, feeding power to the person at the other end of the spell.

“I’m a little busy here!” Inuyasha shouted back, blocking a strike from one of its legs with his sword while flipping to dodge another one coming at him from behind. With a grunt he sliced his sword to the side and severed one of its legs, diving beneath its abdomen to slash at the vulnerable underbelly. Screaming in pain at the dismemberment, it rose up on its two back legs, the thing faster than it had any right to be, and avoided his attack. 

“Dammit!” Inuyasha cursed, rolling to his feet in one smooth move and vaulting to stand atop it just as webs shot out to surround him. They wrapped around his sword arm, cutting off his downward swing.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome stopped, taking aim with the arrow already notched onto her bow. She fired and the arrow flew true. Leaving behind a trail of pink it shot towards its target and struck right at the point where the strands were connected to Inuyasha, freeing him.

“Cutting it a little close there, don’t ya think?! You almost hit me!" He called to her as he avoided more webs.

“Except I didn't! A simple thank you would be nice!” She snapped back.

Inuyasha didn’t bother to reply as his attention was consumed again by his fight with the spider demon; so Kagome continued on her way to the rune. As a priestess she could take care of herself and clearly Inuyasha didn’t need or appreciate her help anyways. 

She was almost at the back wall where the rune was engraved into the concrete when she became aware of the sounds of scuttling behind her. Looking over her shoulder in horror and already knowing what it was, Kagome saw the demon spider babies advancing on her. With a surge of adrenaline she raced the rest of the way and reached it just as the demons reached her. In one smooth motion she grabbed an arrow from her quiver and notched it as she turned around firing, facing the onslaught. It cut a path through the swarm in front of her and she breathed a sigh of momentary relief.

Her sacred arrow didn’t stop them from coming though, and she found herself firing arrow after arrow. No matter how many she killed there were more to take the place of their dead siblings. The rune needed to be destroyed, she knew this as well as she knew her own name. Finally, with a cry of frustration she stopped in her assault and slammed her right hand onto the rune, her left hand still gripping her bow tightly. Her power flared, engulfing the bow in the pink halo of light with her spiritual power and simultaneously channeling power through herself into the rune to purify it. 

Using her bow as a focus Kagome formed a barrier around herself. Where the demons hit it they burned but that didn’t seem to stop them. They kept pressing in on her until they killed themselves, suicide by purification, and more crawled over the ashes to continue the charge.

Gritting her teeth she maintained her barrier while she turned her attention to the mark her right hand was pressed upon. Again she felt that thick oily sensation of evil coating the back of her throat and she fought against it. It almost seemed to reach within her attempting to taint her with its malevolence and Kagome only intensified her power, refusing to be corrupted. She was gaining ground, but with her focus split between the preservation of her barrier and the purification of the rune she couldn’t destroy it. This would require everything of her, and she simply wasn’t able to do that if she wanted to keep her barrier up.

‘Screw that.’ she thought, ‘I’m stronger than this. I can do this.’

“Sango!!”

Sango heard Miroku’s cry as she was lifted up by the webs wrapping more and more tightly around her. With her arms trapped she could no longer swing her wakizashi to free herself, and it hung from her hand, useless. Dammit. She hated spider demons.  

Triggering the hidden blades at her wrists, the curved knives sprung out and sliced through the strands enveloping her arms. In the same breath she pitched her weight forward and used her now-free sword arm to cut through the remaining webs that had captured her leg. No longer restrained she continued the movement into a somersault as she fell, resheathing her blades in the process. It was a long way down and she risked spraining her ankle but it was better than the alternative; become another sacrifice for the spider demon and her children.

She let out a soft oof as she landed, but it wasn’t the landing she was expecting. Instead of the shock of landing on hard concrete vibrating up her legs as her feet struck the ground she felt strong arms wrap around her and a very masculine grunt rumble through the warm chest she was pressed up against. Miroku must have caught me… she barely had time to think. Before she could fully register the position she found herself in, the spider babies began to encroach upon them.

“Sango! Are you ok?” Miroku’s voice came right by her ear, his breath hot. With one arm still braced around her he used the other one to swing at the demons while setting her down onto her feet. One of the demons managed to avoid his staff and jumped at him, landing on the side Sango was not being held against. Miroku let out a pained sound and Sango quickly slashed down at it with one of her wrist blades but not fast enough. It fell away, the damage done and Sango could see the blood beginning to spread from where its tiny fangs had pierced him. 

“Miroku!!” 

“I’m fine.” He told her as he held out his shakujo and focused his spiritual power on the formation of a barrier. A thin blue shield encircled them, but despite his words Sango could see the beads of sweat forming on his temple and the strain on his face. The spider babies continued to attempt to get at them but with Miroku’s power protecting them they were untouchable.

“I’m sorry but to keep you inside my barrier I have to keep you near.” Miroku told her, still holding onto her and beginning to move them forward. “Inuyasha should defeat the mother spider soon and once we retrieve your weapon you can impress me some more with your slayer prowess.” He joked weakly.

“Miroku…”

The spider bite had to have had some venom to be affecting him this much, and she felt guilty. If he hadn’t taken his attention away from the fight to catch her he wouldn’t have gotten injured. As they made their way to where her weapon lay she could feel him begin to lean more heavily on her. It was concerning. Finally they were at the wall where her Hiraikotsu lay amongst the corpses and empty egg sacs. She lifted her weapon up and turned to Miroku. His entire side was stained red where he bled and his face was pale.

“Keep your barrier up, I’m going to fight them.”

Before he could respond she left him propped against the wall and slipped from his arms to face the demons. In one smooth motion she threw her weapon and cut a swath through the hordes facing them.

‘Stupid fucking modernization of the world and stupid fucking demons.’ Inuyasha thought in irritation as he fought the mother spider. He hated not being able to use his sword’s full power; what use was the thing if he couldn’t even use it like it was meant to be used? Yet again, he would have to rely on himself but that was nothing new.

The damn thing kept chittering at him maniacally every time he missed and it was pissing him off. He was over it. It and all its damn babies needed to die and they needed to die now. Finally gaining the upper hand he leapt upwards, dodging more strikes from its remaining five legs and the gnashing of its fangs. A wave of web shot out at him and caught his left arm in its grip but wasn’t enough to stop the killing stroke of his sword. With one final slash Inuyasha beheaded the mother spider, putting an end to the fight.

“...Ba….kiiii…..” The demon croaked before the life faded from its eyes.

The webs around his arm loosened at the death of their mistress and Inuyasha pulled them off of him in disgust. Mission accomplished, he turned his attention to his companions.

Sango was throwing that giant boomerang weapon around killing spider babies left and right and Miroku had a barrier surrounding him, looking the worse for wear. Inuyasha could smell his blood and the demon poison but his friend was still alive so he figured any worrying could wait until the danger had passed. He turned to them and called out, “Hey! You guys good there?”

“Doing great, Inuyasha. Thanks for asking,” came Miroku’s sarcastic response. 

Sango didn’t bother to reply and just kept slaying demons, and Inuyasha had to admit she was damn good at what she did. She moved like a well-oiled machine.  

Where was that damn girl though…?

“Hey! Where the fuck is Kagome?!” 

Even as he asked the question, Inuyasha could smell her scent coming from the opposite side of the building.

“She followed you when you decided to fight the mother spider.” Miroku answered, his breathing more labored now. 

Inuyasha wasn’t listening anymore, was already running towards the far wall where he could see Kagome. The pink glow of a barrier surrounded her while she held her ground against the horde attempting to break through her defenses. What the hell? It was his job to protect her, his duty and she ran off with a whole host of demons on her tail. Did she have no regard for her own safety? He grudgingly admitted to himself that she was doing a good job of keeping them off of her but she couldn't maintain it forever. She had to know that.

He made quick work of the remaining demons and Kagome released her barrier with a gasp of relief. She opened her eyes fully and he was swallowed up in her gaze for the space of a heartbeat. She annoyed the hell out of him but damn if she didn’t find ways to get under his skin, and not always in an unpleasant way.

“Hey what exactly do you think you’re doing here, huh?” He demanded.

“Destroying the rune.” She answered shortly, turning all her focus onto the aforementioned rune her right hand was placed over. It was a nasty piece of work; he could smell the black magic pouring from it in waves. It was acrid and foul. If Kagome said it needed to be destroyed then he trusted her enough to believe her. Trust…

As he sheathed his sword his thoughts went back to that day she had invited him into her bedroom. She had told him she trusted him implicitly. And she had said it so easily, with no hesitation like it should have been obvious. That wasn’t something he was used to hearing, especially not from someone like her - a priestess. Sure he had an agreement with her family but it didn’t guarantee something like trust. That was something that didn’t come to him easily and it was difficult for him to understand how she could extend something as precious as that so readily.

Kagome’s power flared and she focused everything she had on the purification of the rune. Now that Inuyasha had killed the rest of the demons she didn’t have to split her attention and power in half trying to accomplish two things at once. She had been getting close, but it was definitely taking its toll on her. Her legs were starting to get wobbly from her sustained assault.

With a final burst she poured her all into the rune, purifying it and rendering it useless and inert. As the purity of her power consumed the black mark Kagome heard a scream of outrage echoing inside her head. 

‘You meddling little girl...you and your friends are next…!’ a shrill feminine voice shrieked. And then it was gone and she was alone inside her own head again and she was so tired.

Kagome took a step towards Inuyasha and before she realized what was happening her legs gave out. All at once the exhaustion of the confrontation hit her and her vision went a little fuzzy. She had used more energy than she realized, fighting a battle on two fronts for as long as she had.

Warm arms enveloped and supported her while she struggled to regain her bearings. Inuyasha. With a sigh she buried her face into his chest for a moment. She just needed a moment. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask for. 

“Kagome! Hey, Kagome!! Don’t you faint on me!”

There was genuine concern in his voice and she thought she must really be tired because she had to be imagining it. This was Inuyasha, afterall. With an effort she opened her eyes and lifted her head, pulling back slightly to meet his golden gaze. For a moment she was speechless. He was looking at her in actual worry, brows creased. As she stared he moved one of his hands to cradle her face.

“Hey! You ok?”

“Yes. Just tired...used a lot of power.” She finally replied.

At her answer he removed his hands from her and she felt bereft for a moment at the loss of his touch. Her strength was returning though so she was able to stand on her own two legs again. It was over. For tonight anyways.

Sango finished off the last of the demons with a speed she didn’t know she possessed. There was an ever present worry for Miroku in the back of her mind as she fought and the quicker they killed these demons the quicker they could get him patched up and healed. The guilt continued to eat at her. If she was a more talented slayer the webs would never have even caught her and Miroku would never have been injured.

When the last one lay in its death throes Sango rushed back to the monk’s side as he dropped his barrier, removing her slayer mask while settling Hiraikotsu across her back and kneeling beside him. He looked at her and gave a weak smile and she didn’t return it. There was no way she could smile seeing him like this.

“Hang on, Miroku.” She told him as she wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and stood, helping him to his feet. He leaned on her heavily, his breathing ragged in her ear.

“My dear Sango...is that worry in your voice for me?” He quipped. 

“Yes. And shut up. Now isn’t the time to be making jokes.”

“Sorry.” He laughed feebly. “But I’m honestly touched by your concern.”  

Before she could respond again Inuyasha and Kagome had made their way to them. Sango felt relief at the sight of the rest of their companions. Now they could get out of here and get Miroku the treatment he needed.

“Miroku! What happened?” Kagome gasped as she caught sight of him and noticed his condition for the first time.

“Probably got bit. Idiot.” Inuyasha answered but he said it mildly, no heat in his words. He came around to the other side of Miroku and helped Sango support his weight.

“He’s not an idiot. It was my fault.” Sango snapped, not in the mood.

“First your concern, and now you’re defending me...am I dreaming?” Miroku joked. 

“I swear, if you keep making jokes I’m going to drop you.” Sango warned.

“Like I said-- an idiot.” Inuyasha remarked. Sango didn’t argue with his assessment this time. Miroku sighed in defeat.

“What are we going to do about all these demon corpses? There’s just so many.” Kagome worried. “If someone were to come upon them…”

“I’ll call the slayers in the morning and get them to take care of the removal of the bodies.” Sango replied. “Right now I’m more concerned about Miroku.”

“Of course. He comes first.” Kagome agreed. “Where should we be taking him?”

“Sango’s place is closer than mine.” Miroku input, his voice strained. His hair was damp with sweat.

Night had fallen across the city as they emerged from the abandoned warehouse. They made their way to Sango’s apartment as quickly as they could, avoiding detection from all human passersby. Fortunately thanks to the shroud of darkness night offered it was easily accomplished. Once they walked into her place she and Inuyasha brought him to her bedroom and laid him down onto her bed.

After he was settled Sango removed his jacket and grabbed a pair of scissors from her kitchen drawer to cut off his shirt so they could see the full extent of the damage. She had Kagome go grab her first aid kit while she set about her task. 

“I hope you weren’t too attached to this shirt.” She told him as she began to cut the material away.

“If you wanted me naked in your bed all you had to do was ask.” Miroku joked back weakly.

“I thought I told you now wasn’t the time for jokes.” Sango replied sternly. Inuyasha was right. He was an idiot. Nevertheless, the fact he was still able to crack his one-liners was a good sign and she took a little comfort in that.

Once she was done removing his shirt she took a good look at his chest and grimaced. It was bad. The wound on his left side was still oozing blood, but worse than that and much more concerning were the streaks of purple radiating out from the site of the wound that spoke of the infection from the demonic poison. This would require a purification or it would spread to his heart and likely kill him.

Kagome returned with the first aid kit and got her first real look at the wound. “Oh no. I’m going to have to perform a purification,” she said, confirming Sango’s thoughts.

Inuyasha roused himself from where he leaned against the open bedroom door. “With what power? You’re already wiped out from the fight! You almost fainted, or did you forget?”

Kagome scowled. “I’m not that weak. I’m a Head Priestess, or did you forget? I just needed a moment to collect myself and I’m fine now.”

“Can’t we take him to the shrine and get someone else to do it?” Inuyasha argued.

“There’s no time!” Kagome burst. “Do you want him to live?? Because if I don’t do this now he’s not going to. I know you’re just trying to look out for me because that’s your job but I’m perfectly capable, ok?”

Sango glanced at Miroku and saw his eyes had closed, his breaths coming in short pants. 

“Isn’t Miroku supposed to be your best friend?” She asked, growing a little angry with Inuyasha. She couldn’t fault him for trying to protect Kagome, but at the expense of his best friend?

“Hey, don’t get me wrong. Of course I don’t want him to die. That stupid monk and I go way back and I’ve saved his ass more times than I can count. It doesn’t mean I don’t care what happens to him but my obligation to Kagome and her family comes first.”

“I’m not arguing with you about this.” Kagome told Inuyasha. She knelt on the left side of the bed and placed her hands over Miroku’s wound. Sango sat on the edge of the bed on the other side and before she could think better of it grabbed Miroku’s hand, holding it tightly. It was cool to the touch. 

Memories of a similar situation with her father were surfacing in her mind. Against her will she was starting to become emotional. Miroku had put himself at risk to catch her, to protect her. Why had he done that…? The man had only known her for a week. She barely gave him the time of day and yet he put his life on the line for hers. More and more it seemed she may have misjudged him. 

Kagome set about purifying the spider bite, a pink glow coming from her hands as she focused her power into his wound. Miroku grimaced and Sango imagined it had to be painful. His eyes opened and locked with hers and she couldn’t bring herself to look away from his indigo stare. She wondered what she looked like to him right now. Was her face as open and vulnerable as she was feeling inside at that moment? 

Several long minutes passed and finally the demonic poison from his injury was gone. Finished, Kagome stood unsteadily and Inuyasha came over to help her. Without a word he picked her up and she didn’t protest. She had to be bone tired. Sango noticed how carefully Inuyasha cradled her in his arms and wondered if perhaps there was something there between them after all. As the half demon carried Kagome from the bedroom Sango turned her attention back to the monk lying half naked in her bed. He was still looking at her, but there was the smallest smile playing across his lips now. Swallowing, Sango released his hand and went to get the first aid kit left on her dresser. He let her hand go after one final squeeze.

Carefully, she cleaned the wound and wiped away all the blood. She tried to keep her ministrations professional and definitely tried not to notice how perfect his abs were as she worked. He had an undeniably nice body and she was a woman so she couldn’t be blamed for appreciating it, she told herself. It was perfectly natural.

Reaching a hand under his back she prompted him to sit up while she wrapped bandages around him. He placed a hand on her shoulder to steady himself as she patched him up. When she was finally done she helped him lay back down and she could see the exhaustion on his face. This night had definitely taken its toll on him. 

Without thinking she reached a hand up and stroked his hair, wiping away the sweat and brushing his bangs from his forehead. As she started to withdraw her hand he caught it with one of his own. She glanced at him in surprise.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to continue holding your hand.” Miroku told her. Searching his face she found no trace of his usual humor. It was an honest request. Blushing, she swallowed and nodded her consent before finding her words.

“I suppose. After all, it’s my fault you were injured.”

“Sango. Don’t blame yourself.” He told her seriously, then smiled, “Besides, I had to protect that flawless body of yours.”

“Go to sleep before I knock you out myself.”

“As my lady wishes.”

Sango rolled her eyes but she didn’t let go of his hand. His eyes closed and eventually his breathing evened out into the steady rhythm of sleep. Vaguely she heard the door to her apartment open and close and could only assume Inuyasha was taking Kagome home. Her own eyes began to grow heavy and before she knew it she was asleep as well.

Gradually she began to wake up, and her first thought was to wonder when her pillow became so firm. Not that it mattered, whatever she was resting upon was warm and comfortable and she gave a soft sigh of contentment and burrowed in deeper. A hand brushed through her hair gently and with a jolt of realization the previous night came back to her. She gave a soft gasp as her eyes opened and the hand stroking her hair stilled.

“You awake?” Miroku’s voice asked.

She had passed out next to him, her chest pressed against his side, her head on his own very naked chest, still holding his hand. The intimacy of their positions was not lost on her and she blushed as she slowly lifted herself up to look at him. Hesitantly she met his eyes and her heart began to pound so hard she wondered if he could hear it too. There was none of his usual teasing flirtatiousness present, instead she saw a gentle affection...and heat. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.

“Good morning.” He said, and his accompanying smile made her breath catch.

“M-morning.” She managed. “I’m sorry, I...I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” This was so embarrassing. She should get up right now but she couldn’t seem to make herself move.

“I assure you I’ve enjoyed every second of it.”

“I...I’m...” ‘I’m sure you did’ she wanted to say but couldn’t get the words out.

If she leaned forward just a little more...their lips would touch. It was such a tempting thought. And she knew he wouldn’t mind in the slightest. His lips looked so inviting and she licked her own reflexively. His gaze shifted to her lips at that and Sango held her breath. She couldn’t believe how much she wanted to kiss him. Hadn’t she decided she wasn’t going to give in to him and his flirtations? It was a bad idea but it didn’t make her want it any less.

With an effort she pulled away and although she thought she saw disappointment in his eyes he let her go. For her it wouldn’t be just a kiss and she wouldn’t do that to herself. It was dangerous how quickly he made her forget her self control. Distance. She needed distance.

“I’m glad you’re ok. I need to go call the slayers about the demon corpses. And take a shower. I’m sure you need to get home.” She said and hastily retreated from the bedroom before he could say anything else.

Barricading herself in the bathroom she made the call to her father and when she was done with that she stripped down and turned on the water. She knew she was being ridiculous, not to mention obvious about avoiding him, but she couldn’t face him right now. Her heart was still beating way too fast. Leaning against the wall she waited until she heard the door to her apartment open and close before she relaxed. He was gone.

Good. That would give her time to compose herself. Next time she saw him she would have herself back under control again. Her walls would be back up and she would no longer be thinking about how his lips would have tasted or how it had felt to be pressed up against him. Even if she was starting to...feel things for him, she wouldn’t let it show. She refused to consider the possibility that she was more than just a challenge to him. If she did that she might start hoping for things and that would be even more dangerous.

~☆~

Kagome finished dressing in a navy sweater and a simple gray skirt that landed mid-thigh and exited her bedroom, needing to talk to Inuyasha. He had said he had something important to tell her last night but she had been so damn tired he hadn't had a chance before she passed out. Her heart beat a little faster at the thought of how he must have carried her home and, more shockingly, tucked her into bed. Thinking about it made her blush a little. It was so at odds with the side of Inuyasha she was most familiar with-- brash, gruff, and kind of a jerk.

As she finished her descent down the stairs she heard the voices of her grandfather and Inuyasha. The half demon’s voice abruptly cut off at her appearance.

“Oh, there ya are. Finally.”

“Good morning. What’s going on?”

“Kagome. Inuyasha has just told me something concerning.” Her grandfather said.

“Does this have to do with the thing you said you needed to tell me last night?” She asked.

“Yeah. When I killed the demon it said somethin’ right before it died. ‘Baki’.” Inuyasha replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kagome’s face scrunched up in thought. “Baki? What does that mean, though?” Something suddenly occurred to her. “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. Right when I destroyed the rune I heard a voice in my head. Like it was talking to me through the connection I had made.”

“What?! Why didn’t you say something sooner??” Inuyasha demanded, and Kagome could tell it was out of concern for her but it still annoyed her. She couldn’t help but poke the bear a little.

“I was a little busy passing out in your arms if you recall.”

“In my arms?” 

“That’s right. Or did someone else carry me home and tuck me into bed?”

“I-I--...W--whatever!” He sputtered, reddening a bit. “What did the voice say?”

Kagome couldn’t stop the giggle that came out, earning herself a glare. That was fine. He cared, if only just a little bit and that was enough for now.

“It was a female voice. She called me a meddling little girl and said me and my friends were next.”

“A female voice, you say?” Her grandfather asked, and they turned to look at him. “This only confirms what I have feared.”

“Grandpa, what is it?”

“Years ago there was a beautiful and powerful priestess...but she became too greedy, too vain. She turned dark. After she was found to be practicing black magic she was cast out from her shrine. Her name was whispered about throughout all the shrines as a warning. I believe the spellbook missing from our own shrine was taken by her. It seems she is now consorting with evil demons, but that is hardly surprising.”

“How do you know it’s this dark priestess, though?” Kagome questioned.

“Because Inuyasha told me the last words of the demon. ‘Baki.’ The name of this dark priestess is Tsubaki. It is too much to be a coincidence.”

“If she’s making deals with demons now then how did she manage to steal the spellbook? The aura of the demons on her should have kept her out despite her spiritual powers. They would be too tainted to break through our wards, after all.” Kagome pointed out.

“She must have an accomplice. It would certainly explain how she was able to manage so much chaos in such a short amount of time.” He replied.

Kagome was quiet for a moment. All the pieces of the puzzle they currently had were starting to fit together. 

“Hey, old man.” Inuyasha spoke up. “Do you have any idea what she’s tryin’ to achieve here?”

“Tsubaki craved power as well as eternal life and beauty, or so they say. She is a jealous and vain woman, and very dangerous. I would imagine this is all a means to accomplish her ends. It's hard to say.”

“So how do we find her?” 

“I think I have an idea.” Kagome said. “There’s a location ritual I can perform. I already know the signature of the runes she’s been leaving behind. I can use that and the residual energy left behind from the telepathic connection she opened up with me.”

“She threatened you and you’re just gonna open yourself up to her??” Inuyasha exclaimed. 

“Then what do you suggest?” Kagome shot back.

“Not that!”

“That's not an answer!”

“I don’t like it.”

“Well I’m not going to sit around and let people get hurt when I could do something to help!”

“Listen, it’s my job to protect you. Kinda hard to do that when you keep throwin’ yourself into harm’s way.”

“Then protect me. Stand guard. Do whatever you have to do. But I’m performing this ritual. You can either help me or get out of the way but you’re not going to stop me.” Her tone was fierce. She could tell Inuyasha was surprised at her vehemence, and to be honest she kind of was too, but she wasn’t going to be kept on the sidelines of this fight. She wanted to do her part.

“Fine.” The half demon finally relented. “This is fucking stupid but fine. If you insist. But I’m gonna be with you the whole time.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.”

[arthurflecksgirl]

STOMPIN ON A DREAM *erotic Arthur Fleck short story *

Arthur Fleck and Reader

Involves: mental hospital, mental illness, sex

It was a quiet night in Arkham state hospital.

The only noise that was quietly floathing through the air was someone humming a song. Not loud, but still noticeable from the other side of the door. Doctor Finn didnt payed much attention to it. The patient with the case number 064823 did it since he came here 7 months ago. He always seemed to live in his own world. Most days it doesnt even seem to bother him that he is locked up in here. Thats how it seemed. But you knever know how it looks like on the inside of the patients heads. Especially when it came to Arthur Fleck.

He was very nice most of the time, not paying much attention to the other patients. Unless he wants to tell some jokes he just wrote down in his messy looking journal he carried with him everywhere he goes. Even to the bathroom. The doctors checked the diary daily, to make sure its fine for him to have it with him.  All in all he was one of the most quiet patients, which doesnt mean that the doctors felt comfortable around him. He was still an unsolved mysterie to them. Even to himself. Always in his own world but still observing. Always daydreaming, talking to himself but still having the presence  of someone who can change not only his but your own reality within a second. Some new doctor even left weeks ago because she was so drawn in by his presence, she was afraid to fall in love with him. Even though he never even talked to her or even noticed her. The intense look in his green eyes, the smirk on his face and the scar on his upper lip which made him look unpredictable and vulnerable at the same time was too much for her to handle. He was in his mid 30ies, his face slightly weathered but insanly attractive. You could hear him dancing through the hallways some nights, always playing a song in his head. His slim body moving graceful, light as a feather. Always an undefinable  expression on his face. A very beautiful but somehow broken man with a traumatic childhood. And alone. Always alone.

Arthur was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling in his white room. White exept for the red , big, messy written letters at which he was staring at.

"I thought of quitting baby, but my heart just ain`t gonna buy it"

He was closing his eyes. The red letters were still there. Now with a black background.

"Quitting" stood out now. The letters started to vibrate in his head. He got nerveaus, so he tried to calm himself down by humming the words. "I thought of quitting baby..." his voice as soft as his hands. His lips shaking a bit while trying to concentrate "...but my heart just aint gonna buy it...." his hands checking his chest, if he still had a heartbeat "...and if I´d think it was worth one single try..." he felt his heart beating, so he must have been still alive. "I`d ride on a big bird and then i´d fly". He opened his eyes. The letters were still there on the ceiling. Bt they stopped moving. He wasnt sure if it was a good thing that his heart was still beating. So many times he wished for it to stop. Just to  get rid of all the darkness around him. Of all the blood. Like the blood onthe ceiling which stared down at him. Judging him.

He tried to remember why he even came here. Why he spent the last months in this room. But nothing came to mind.  He looked at his wrists and noticed some cigarette burns. Maybe he tried to hurt himself. Maybe thats why he got locked up. He checked his wrists for more. No scars. "Who knows" he whispered to himself as the door suddenly opened and Dr Finn came in.

"Good morning Mr. Fleck. Could you please starting to get ready? Today is your day, remember? You can go home."

Arthur kept staring at the ceiling "Maám?"

"Yes Mr. Fleck?"

"Why havent you cleaned the ceiling? The bloody letters made me nerveaus all night"

The young doctor with her long, black hair smiled "Thats no blood, Mr. Fleck. You took a lipstick and wrote it two days ago. We cleaned it so many times but you still keep writing it again"

"I see. Its...its my fave song, you know?"

"Mr. Fleck did you hear what I told you? You can now pack your stuff and go home. But no hurry, just take your time, okay?"

The door closed as Arthurs mind wandered again.

He closed his eyes.

"Hey Arthur, how is it going? Did you missed me?"

He saw you standing there on other side of the room.

"I think I did (YN) ... oh yes.. I did !"

"Good to hear, Arthur. I missed you, too. Its been so long."

He kept staring at the corner of the room. You were beautiful, smiling at him.

"I cant wait to touch you again, Artie. To kiss you"

Arthurs hand was still  lying on his chest, now making its way down. He felt his ribs popping out. His skinny body looking starved. He wasnt eating like he should. All the meds stopped his appetite. His hands sliding over his hollow belly, further down and stopped between his legs.

He could hear your voice from across the room.

"Touch yourself for me, Arthur. I am watching you"

He nodded and grinned at you. Then focused on his own body again.

He was in his underwear only and stuck his left hand in it.

The letters on the wall now a lighter red. Lipstick. Obviously.

"You know this is my lipstick right there" he could hear you say.

"The same lipstick I kissed you with, remember?"

He softly started to play with his dick.

"I`m ...not sure (YN) "

He closed his eyes again. He thought it was the lipstick he owned by himself back from the days when he used to put clown make up on. He was a great party clown. With a huge painted on smile. But maybe that was just a story someone told him.

"Oh sure it is mine, Arthur. And I will kiss you again  with it. Till you`re out of breath. I will smear the red all over your face"

"Yeah?" a smirk on the left side of his lips which lifted up his scar. Made him look even more attractive. His almost shoulder long, brown hair  messy pressed against the pillow.

"Sure. And I wouldnt kiss you on your lips only."

Your voice echoed through his head.

"Where else?"

"Keep on touching youself, Arthur. Its my hand doing it."

"Its your hand (YN). Yeah I....I can feel it"

He softly squeezed and caressed the part between his slender legs, biting his lips.

He imagined you, lying on top of him, petting his sweaty curls. Calling him beautiful. It was your hand between his thighs as he felt waves of lust beginning to floath allthrough his body.

He now got rid of his underwear, his gentle hands around his dick which is getting harder as he imagines you rubbing yourself against his shaking body.

"Arthur, I can feel you all the way inside of me. Pull me closer. Please Arthur! Its could be never close enough!"

His hands up and down faster now.A silent moan coming from his thin lips.

He wanted to come closer. Entering your body, wearing you like a coat that keeps him warm in this cold, dark world.

He wanted to get closer to you, so he pushed himself into you. So gently but with an  almost unbearable intensivity. Just like when he was dancing. His face expression somewhere between pain and bliss.

"Arthur. You`re everywhere"

So were you. Your voice was everywhere. It wasnt only whispering in his ear. It filled the room, echoed from the walls. Your voice was a vibration between his legs, telling him to love you till you can`t breathe anymore.

"Do you love me (YN) he whispered.

All he wanted was to be loved. To be touched. he was graving it all through his life.

All this lonelyness was laying heavy on him, like a straight jacket. Holding him back from dancing with the ones he loved.

"I love you more than anything." your voice came from the letters on the ceiling.

"You have so many different sides. And I love every single one of them"

He masturbated harder now, humming.

"I`ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate a poet"

Your moans echoing through his head.

"...a poet, a pawn and a king"

"No matter how many ups and downs you may have, Arthur. I will never leave your side. We are one! Can`t you feel it? We are one body, one mind"

""I`ve been up and down and over and out..."

His eyes twitching from excitement. He is breathing heavier now, his long, dark eyelashes fluttering like butterflies.

He can almost taste your tongue in his mouth. Feel your hands touching the sweaty curls in his neck.

His voice still  whispering "I have waited so long for this".

He could feel the blood pulsing in his sensitive parts.

You were the girl of his dreams.

The one he thought about in his darkest hours.

All of his sexual fantasies he wrote in his journal were written about you.

His only light in a world of white walls and darkness.

He felt  the weight of your body on his fragile pelvis.

Arthur pressed his head into the white pillows as he was about to cum.

He couldnt take it anymore.

"(YN) *moaning* Oh my god, this is just....fuck me. Please (YN). Love me!"

Red lettering  blurring his vision.

He couldnt read what it says cuz the feeling of being able to cum this hard overwhelms him.

Black out.

Melodies.

So many melodies which don`t fit to each other.

So many colors blurring his mind.

Arthur presses his hands against his ears.

The sound won`t go away.

"(YN) ? "

No answer.

His hands are touching the sheets, so he could check if he was still lying in bed.

He was. Wet sheets.

His eyes wandered across the room.

He was alone.

Arthur touched his forehead to check if he had a fever dream.

He was unsure.

His greasy curls hanging in his tired eyes.

He felt a bit ashamed while he was putting his white underwear back on.

He crawled back under the sheets which he wished smelled like him but they didnt.

Another stare to the ceiling.

Red letters.

Lipstick. Blood maybe.

Someone was knocking at the door.

"Knock knock" he said as the door opened.

"Mr. Fleck, time to wake up. Maybe you will try to eat a bit more today?! You lost some weight again"

Arthur closed his eyes.

"You came earlier and  told me I can go home now"

Dr. Finn picked up the diary from the floor.

Taking a close look through the new written pages.

"More song lyrics, huh Mr. Fleck? I am afraid you can`t go home. Its the first time I visited you today. Have you took your medication?"

"Mhhh hhmmm"

"Did you had some visions again, Mr Fleck?"

The melodies got more quitet now.

The walls looked  bright and shiney.

Even the lettering on the ceiling was gone.

All cleaned up.

He put his finger upon his lips, looking in the doctors eyes. Humming. Silently. But you could still hear the words coming out of his mouth.

"..some people get their kicks, stompin on a dream"

Arthur smiled.

THE END

[saccharine-honnebee]

On Three, We Jump

- Arthur Morgan x Reader - 

Word Count: 5000~ boy howdy

Notes Before the Fic: I think i went a little overboard on this :/

--

It was quite the risk to rob the wealthy family you'd been serving for the past few years, you'd told yourself this countless times. 

You had no prior experience in thievery, no sort of reference to go by, and certainly no guarantee you'd even get five feet away from the Miller estate before being found out. 

All you had going for you was a burning determination, and a few sparks of luck. 

It just so happened that the Miller family was just about the stupidest group of people you'd ever met.

They were far too trusting with their house staff, they told them everything, from where the safe that held their family fortune was kept, to how much was in there, and never seemed to be aware in the slightest that this information could be used against them.

So far it hadn't, and that, more than anything, felt like a sign to seize the opportunity while it was still in your grasp.

All five of them (a mother, father, older sister, and two younger brothers) were leaving for a holiday out in one of their various houses in the countryside, taking with them a few important members of their house staff, and sending the rest away for the week. That left you, one of their most trusted servants, all alone, to take care of their home while they were away.

You were giddy when you were helping the daughter pack her suitcase, and you were practically vibrating as you watched them pile in to one of their carriages, waving farewell along with the rest of the house staff.

By sundown, it was just you, alone in the estate, and after checking and rechecking you had all the supplies your saddlebags could carry, and your horse was safely munching on a pile of hay, hitched to a post you could see from the window of the upstairs drawing room, you finally felt secure enough to begin.

You could feel a slight shake in your hands, from both nerves and excitement as you gripped the handrail of the grand staircase, and made your way towards the oldest daughter's bedroom.

You already knew you wanted to start there. That girl owned more pieces of jewelry than any one person should be in possession of, and you knew several items that you could live off for months that would hardly be missed.

Even so, as you reached the top of the staircase, you found your glee fading ever so slightly as you met the passive gazes of the large family portrait that hung at the entrance of the second floor.

Looking at their painted faces, you couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of guilt dampening your spirits.

You had spent years with these people, getting to know them under the good, steady paying job they had given you. And they had never treated you nearly as bad as you knew other families were to their servants. You could live a decent life here with the Miller’s, if you wanted to.

But that was the thing, wasn't it? You didn't want to.

You didn't want to live the rest of your days living the life of a servant while waiting on a family that had more money than they'd ever spend, not when you could take some of that wealth for and go live the life of freedom and self-dependence you'd always wanted.

You wanted better for yourself, knew you deserved better, and you were going to get it by any means necessary.

You turned your nose up at the portrait and walked right past it. You could feel remorse later, right now you had a job to do.

Finally reaching the eldest daughter's room, you immediately go for her vanity, and quickly opened all the drawers you knew she stashed her jewelry in.

You felt a tingling sense of excitement as you rummaged through the overflowing drawers, and you can suddenly picture yourself as a skilled thief or conman, the kind whose name was known by all but seen by few, and could rob the pants off a man and be half way across the country before he’d even notice they were gone. The kind of person who lived by their own rules, away from the strict hierarchy of civilization.

How childish, to be dreaming about such things while doing something so monumentally real, but you couldn't deny how thrilling that fantasy was when you actually pictured yourself in that situation. 

Once you had taken all the jewelry you dared, you plan to visit the parents room next, you knew the mother had plenty of jewelry as well, and you’d always admired the father’s pocket watch collection- 

Suddenly, the sharp sound of shattering glass cuts through the silence around you, and your heart nearly bursts out of your chest in panic. 

The first thought to pop into your head was that the family had returned, and you'd be caught red-handed before you’d even began. Then you think, of course it isn't them. If the Miller’s were back, they would have simply walked through the front door.

No, whoever was in the house with you (and you could definitely tell there was someone now, you could hear them stumbling about through the shattered window) must be here to do the same thing you were.

Not on your watch.

You weren't about to have your one-way ticket to freedom be stolen or forcibly shared. Whoever was down there was either going to be walking out of here empty handed, or never walking anywhere again. 

You had planned to try to off them with the pistol you knew the father kept under his pillow, but before you could try to sneak out of the room, you hear the footsteps of the intruder start to make their way up the stairs.

You curse, knowing there wasn't anything in this room lethal enough to make this quick, so you pad over to the wardrobe in the corner of the room as quietly as you can and stuff yourself inside. The element of surprise will have to be your weapon of choice.

The sound of heavy footsteps reaching the top of the stairs can be heard from inside the dark cupboard, and as they entered the bedroom, the ominous sound made your heart race and your palms sweat, but at the same time, only fueled your determination. 

You listen for a few moments as they walk further into the bedroom, and thank your lucky stars when for some reason, they pause before the wardrobe. 

Taking a slow, deep breath to steel yourself, you place your hands flat against the back of the door, then shove it open with all of your strength. 

You feel great pride in the sharp smack you hear as the wood comes in contact with the intruder’s nose, and you watch him stumble back from the force of it, clutching his nose in his hands and groaning, before you throw yourself at the man and tackle him to the ground.

He hits the floor with a thud, his hat detaching itself from his head on impact, and looking properly disoriented as you straddle his chest. As much as you'd like to take the time to pat yourself on the back for taking down what you can now see is a very large, well built man, you have a job to finish, and you pull back your fist, ready to deliver what you hope will be another disorienting blow to his throat.

Before you could even try, suddenly it's you who’s on their back, as the man looms over you in a dark silhouette. His big, rough hands have your wrists pinned to the ground, and it seems he's every bit as strong as he looks, any attempt you gave to try to wiggle yourself free was proven fruitless as he held you down with his weight. The bandanna he wore over the lower half of his face forced you to stare directly into his eyes, which were currently regarding you with something you couldn't quite discern at the moment, too blinded by your own frustration at this turn of events.

"Back off," you growl. "This house is mine, find somewhere else to loot."

The look in his eyes changes, brows pinching together as he leans back from you slightly. 

“Aint you a house servant?” 

His eyes flick downward across your body, and you were nearly offended, until you realized he was merely looking at the uniform you were still wearing.

"So?" You spit back.

He’s quiet for another moment, thinking, and you can already tell you wont like what he comes up with as you watch the gears turn in his head. 

“So that must mean you know where everything is around here.”

"And what makes you think I'll tell you?"

He sits up slightly and shifts both of your wrists into one hand, and you watch as his other goes to wraps around the handle of the gun against his hip.

You tense at the sight of it, and just know he's smirking at you under the bandanna.

"That enough to convince you?"

You chew at your lip and seethe, the last thing you want is to admit is that he has you intimidated.

"Listen," he starts again, hand moving up to the piece of fabric covering his mouth and hooking a finger under it. "I didn't come here to hurt you. And so long as you behave we can keep it that way. Now here's what I'm suggesting-"

He undoes the bandanna and brings it down to your wrists, and you would've started squirming again if it wasn't for the sudden realization that hit you as you stare up at his now unobscured face- you seen this man before, on a wanted poster. This was none other than, Arthur Morgan a notorious outlaw with a hell of a bounty on his head, and now he was here, pinning you to the ground and proposing a deal. 

"You're gonna show me where the family's safe is," he continues, voice low and threatening as he secured the fabric around your wrists. "And help me get it open. And if you can do that without causing me any trouble, I'll let you take anything else in the house, and we can pretend neither of us saw the other."

Of course he was after the safe, you wouldn't be surprised if the whole country knew the Miller’s kept all their riches within their home. And sure, they had plenty of nice things that would fetch a pretty penny once you pawned them off, but they couldn't provide a life long support like the money in that safe could. So even though there was a very real fear starting to speed up your pulse as you looked down at your bound wrists, now as the mercy of this incredibly dangerous man, there was also an idea forming on how you could turn this situation back into your favor. 

"Alright," you conceded, trying to make your voice sound small and unassuming, and he nods.

"Good choice."

Finally he gets up off of you, then pulls you up to your feet by the bandanna between your wrists.

"The safe is behind the family portrait at the top of the stairs," you grumble, and he nods, leaning down to pick up his hat and place it back on his head.

"Shoulda guessed," he chuckled to himself. "Thing's too ugly for anyone to keep around without a good reason." Then he grabbed you by your wrists again, and all but drags you back to the top of the stairs.

Now standing in front of the large painting, you watch from behind him as he inspects the intricate frame, before finding the side that unlatches, and swinging it open like a door. 

While he’s distracted, you test your bonds, frustrated to feel that there’s practically no give whatsoever. You might be forced to chew yourself free if you couldn't find something to cut it with. 

“You know the combination?” He asks, drawing you from your plotting. 

You shake your head. “The Miller’s are stupid, but they aint stupid enough to just give away that kinda information to anyone.” 

He sighs, sounding tired as he gets down on one knee so he can press an ear against the safe, then spins the dial a few times to reset it. “Guess we’ll just do this the old fashioned way.” 

You watch him for a moment as he goes through each number on the dial, waiting for a tell-tale click or the feeling of some resistance, while you try to think of some way to incapacitate him once he’d finally gotten the thing open.  

Just as you were imagining strangling him with the bandanna around your wrists, and maybe even turning him in to the law to collect his bounty, you hear Arthur let out a frustrated groan. You’re surprised to see the safe door is open, considering the type of noise he made, until you step closer to peer inside, and see that instead of the overwhelming riches you both had been expecting, there’s a metal box sitting there with yet another lock keeping it shut. 

You make a noise of disbelief, surprised that the Miller's of all people would think to take extra precautions, and suddenly you're very glad you didn’t attempt to strangle Arthur the moment the safe was opened. 

“Don’t suppose you know where the key to this is?” he asks, inspecting the silver padlock for a moment then letting it clatter back into place. 

You shake your head again. “I didn't even know that was in there.” 

He seems annoyed, but not overly bothered by this new hurdle to jump over, as he fishes a small, curved metal tool out of his boot, assuring this was nothing he hadn’t handled before. 

You watch curiously as he sticks the metal piece into the lock, twisting it one way or the other until there's some give, then he turns back to you.

"You think you can find me a hair pin?"

You nod, now feeling almost eager to aid him in this task, and scurry back off to the daughter’s bedroom, in search of a pin without any sort of ornamentation on it. 

You can feel the same tingling sensation in your fingertips from before as you sift through the various drawers. Just earlier this night, you’d been imagining yourself as an outlaw, and now here you were, working side by side with a real one to steal from the wealthy and dole out your own personal sense of justice against a world that had forced you to the bottom of the food chain for far too long. It felt almost dirty to admit, but you like this feeling, going against the law to strike back at the system that held you down in the lowly position you were born into. 

You liked it so much in fact, that it had you dutifully marching back to Arthur, presenting a single, plain hairpin with both of your hands still bound, the thought of attempting to loosen the bonds while you were left unsupervised never even crossing your mind. Not when all that money was so close you could taste it. 

You lower yourself onto your knees when he pats the ground beside him. 

“You're gonna help me with this,” he says softly, plucking the pin out of your hands, then guiding you by the wrists up to the metal tool already stick out of the lock. “Hold that still for me.” 

You do, and you watch him as he slowly works the pin into the keyhole beside the piece you're holding. You watch him work in silence for several moments, his eyes cast off to the side as he envisions the inner workings of the lock and searches for the correct pins that will open it up. You almost assume he’s forgotten you were even there until he speaks up again. 

“So what are you doing, robbing the family you work for?" 

The question definitely takes you by surprise, and you debate for a moment on if you should even answer, if it would be wise to give up any information at all to a man like Arthur Morgan. 

“I just… don't want to be a servant anymore.” 

“And you’d rather be a thief?” You can see him looking at you from the corner of his eye, and the judgment behind his question irks you. 

“I would if it means I get to live freely.” 

He looks away after that, and you do too, suddenly very uncomfortable with the closeness between your bodies, but not daring to try and put some distance between you two, for fear of losing all of your progress if you shift in the slightest. 

“So what does that mean to you?” he starts up again, breaking the stretch of silence that had fallen between the two of you. “Living freely?” 

His question surprises you again, you didn't think a hardened criminal such as himself would care to know these things, and you have to stop and think for a moment to find your answer. 

You think about how you've felt tonight, fancying yourself an outlaw like him, someone who roamed as they pleased, dodging the law and pulling schemes, and never having to dust a piece of ancient furniture in a stuffy parlor for the third time in two days. 

You told yourself that the first thing you would do with your money, if you were successful, would be to buy a nice plot of land and spend time lying low and making it a home, that that would be all you would need in life, but now when you thought of the future, it was clouded by that wonderful spark of adrenaline you felt when you committed acts that would surely have you doing time if anyone were to find out. 

Was that life what you really wanted?

You spend some more time wondering how you would put any of that into words for Arthur, but before you could even begin, he's suddenly turning to you with a triumphant look on his face, as the lock finally clicks open. 

You untangle your limbs from each other as you slide your tools free, and you both leave the previous question unanswered as you crowd yourselves around the metal box in anticipation. 

“Let’s hope there ain't a third box in here,” he says as he grips the sides of the lid, and you would’ve chuckled if the suspense wasn't starting to eat at you.

Loud, theatrical sighs of relief are let out by the both of you as the sight of several stacks of green bills come into view.

Arthur quickly counts through them, and just as you get to your feet, remembering your earlier plans to cross him, hes grabbing you by your satchel, and stuffing a good amount of cash into it. 

"Sixty/forty," he says, when you give him a bewildered look, and you struggle to find your words. 

“I… thank you.” There was definitely much more to this man than you thought.

He just shrugs and goes to stand himself. "You helped get the thing open, s'only fair."

The rest of the money fits into his back pocket, and you watch him for a moment, before blurting out, "I didn't think wanted men cared about fairness."

He pauses long enough for you to begin to question if it was a bad idea to let him know you knew who he was, as you watch multiple emotions flash across his face.

"Decent ones do," he answers after a long, deafening silence, and something about the way he says it sounds loaded.

A moment longer and you wouldn't have been able to stop yourself from asking if he was one of them, but then you hear it- the clatter of carriages coming down the pathway.

You tense, and Arthur frowns.

"That ain't-?"

"It is."

For whatever reason, the Miller's had returned, not even a full day from what was supposed to be a week long trip, and were going to come home to see their entire fortune shared between the pockets of you and a notorious outlaw.

Arthur grabs you by the wrist, and tries to lead you down the stairs, but you stop him, you had a better idea. 

“This way,” you whisper, leading him further down the hallway till you reach the drawing room. 

He throws open the doors, and you both slip inside and out onto the balcony. Over the railing, you could see that thankfully your horse was exactly where you left them, beside a pile of hay that looked cushioned enough to not break the bones of someone hurtling towards it from two stories up. 

“We’ll have to jump,” you tell Arthur, who had no doubt already assumed your plan, as he stared wearily down to the ground. 

“On the count of three,” you attempt to offer as you throw a leg over the railing. But before you could even say ‘one’, Arthur had already jumped, taking the plunge and landing safely in the sea of hay below you.

You watch him shamble to his feet in disbelief, ready to curse him out for what seems to be his betrayal, ditching you to be found by the family and take the fall for everything, only for him to turn back around, arms held out high above his head, looking to you expectantly.

"Come on, I'll catch you," he says, as quietly as possible for it to still reach your ear.

You have to stifle a laugh at the almost... chivalrous act, mainly at how unnecessary it is, but you appreciate the thought behind it. 

You almost wanted to make him wait for a moment, just to tease him, but then the faint sounds of an opening door and confused voices reaches your ears, and you're throwing your other leg over the railing and pushing the rest of your body off of it. 

The fall is short, with little time to panic, and you're safe in the arms of Arthur Morgan before you even registered you'd left solid ground.

Instead of grabbing you by the bandanna around your wrists like he's been doing so far, he chooses to hoist you over his shoulder and carry you over to your horse (you would've scolded him for it if its wasn't over so fast), and tosses you stomach-first onto its back, before unhitching the reins and mounting as well.

He whistles, sharp and pointed and you cringe at the sound of it, knowing it wasn't doing anything to help keep your location a secret.

A second goes by, and then another horse is coming into view, and a beat after- just like you feared, one of the Miller sons.

"Hey!" He shouts, pointing at Arthur with fear in his eyes, and you can only imagine how this must look. One of their servants, bound at the wrists and thrown over the back of a horse with a dangerous looking man dressed in dark colors at the reins. At least you'll be more likely to be remembered as a victim than a suspect.

Without another thought, Arthur spurs your horse forward, and into the surrounding forest, his own horse easily keeping pace, and you watch the house go as pure adrenaline pumped through your veins.

You felt triumphant, a little annoyed by the constant jostling of your body as Arthur rode hard and fast away from your pursuers, but triumphant nonetheless.

You've done it, you actually managed to pull it off. 

Eventually, Arthur comes to a spot in the trees he deems safe enough, and slows both your horses down to a trot, before stopping them completely. 

He dismounts, then goes to grab you around the waist to help you to your feet, chuckling when he catches the look on you face- wide eyed a breathing heavy from the peril, but with a hint of a smile on your face.

"That always gets the heart pumpin’," He laughs, two steadying hands on your shoulders as you find your feet again.

When you're no longer swaying in place, he finally goes to undo the knot keeping your wrists bound, and you watch him with silent admiration for the ease with which he works your free. He rubs at the skin of your wrists with those big, rough hands to get the blood flowing again, and suddenly it's the nicest feeling in the world. You let him work his magic, telling yourself you're simply too tired to wave him off, but really, you know you just like the feel of his hands on you. You almost suspect he knows too. 

When he finally pulls away from you, you’re brought back to the present, and your high starts to fade ever so slightly with his next question. 

“So,” he starts, as his horse comes up to him, and starts to nudge at him until he gave it a few pats. “You know what you're gonna do now?” 

“Well,” you say, slipping your bag off your shoulder and attaching it to your own horse’s saddle. It turns its head to you, and you offer a few reassuring strokes to its coat. “I didn't get nearly as much as i was planning to. I should be alright, though. But I might have to find work somewhere else.” 

When you turn back to Arthur, it's clear he's thinking something over, almost looking like he's about to offer you something, but you continue before he could say whatever was going on in that head of his. 

“That, or I could just pull this scheme again. Being a criminal don’t seem too bad now. You wouldn't happen to need a partner in crime, would you?” you ask, only slightly joking.

He doesn't look very pleased at your words as he shakes his head. 

“Trust me, a life of honest work is better than running from the law. More suited for someone like you.” 

“‘Someone like me?’” you repeat accusingly, and he nods as his hands go to rest on his belt buckle. 

“Don’t mean nothin’ by it. I’m just saying, if you have any other options, you best take ‘em.” 

You take a step towards him, a smirk forming on your lips. “I think you just don’t want any competition.”

“I think you’d be dead in a week if you tried to live the way I do-”

“You're just afraid I’ll be better at it than you,” You tease, taking another step forward. “Robbin’ every homestead before you even get the chance.” And another. 

You're practically chest to chest now, and the glare he's giving you would've been deadly if you didn't like being the cause of it so much. 

“What,” you say, giving him a playful pout. “You don’t think I’d be any good at it?”

“I think you need to appreciate what you have now,” he says in a low rumble of a voice, nodding over to where your satchel rests against your saddle.  

“Oh, well, then let me thank the man who made it happen.”

You weren't sure if it was the last bits of your adrenaline wearing off, or if something really has been awakened in you, but right at that moment, something about being in the presence of Arthur Morgan made you feel reckless and dangerous, yet invincible at the same time. So with almost no thought to your actions(there was very little thinking done tonight), you took a risk and threw your arms around his waist to bridge what little distance there was still left between you, and smash your lips into his. 

His whole body immediately tenses, and even tries to pull away, but you've got a firm hold on him, and after his initial knee-jerk reaction, he seems to relax ever so slightly into it, and you swear you felt him lean into you. But you're pulling back soon after, can’t let him enjoy it too much.

You try to rein in your smile when you see the way he tries to keep his face hard and impassive while blushing bright red like a tomato, the color clear as day even under the shade of night, and you wonder where that big, tough outlaw from before went. 

You drag your hands across his sides, letting one of them crawl up his chest and ghost over the exposed skin at the opening of his shirt, pleased to see him watching it, while the other went to rest behind your back. 

“See you around, Cowboy,” you whispered, finally pulling away to back up towards your horse, taking great pleasure in the way he tries to hide behind the brim of his hat, and fiddle with his belt buckle to avoid looking into your eyes any longer.

Poor fool must not have been kissed in some time, you think as you mount your horse and spur it onward, down the pathway to the new life you’ll make for yourself. He couldn't even tell you'd stolen his cut of the money right out of his back pocket. ‘Someone like you’ he said. Heh.

"Pool fool, indeed," you tell your horse, as you pat the stack of bills now safely tucked away in your own pocket.

"Hey!" You hear Arthur shout. It's faint, you've already put a good deal a distance between you, but you can still hear the rage in his tone, and it makes a smile spread across you face. "Get back here!"

You urge your horse into a full sprint, just about cackling as you tear down the pathway.

"You're gonna have to catch me first!" 

--

AN: Not necessarily a low effort fic, cuz there was an effort made, but it's definitely not meant to be a masterpiece. Just a bit of fun with a silly idea I thought of. So you're gonna have to forgive me if ol Artie is a little too ooc, I did get a bit carried away lol

Also there's not really any romance?? But trust me, I'm gonna make up for the lack of it here with the other fics I'm currently working on

And i think i gave the reader a bit too much of a personality, and for that I apologize, I’ll do my best to keep that to a minimum

I think a ‘I hope someone other than me can get something out of this’ is in order :P

((note to self: don’t ever try to post something when you’ve only gotten 3 hours of sleep. youll end up misspelling the title of your own fic))

[pacifistofpatience]

Again, can't access Masterlist for some reason so kindly ignore this if it's already been done please. Ut, Uf, and Ht Sans who meets said SO by the SO working at Grillby's (weather this is on surface or not depends on you)

((I hope I fixed themaster list thing! But thankfully this is not on it!!

ugh gosh, idk where i wanted to go with this. I started writing out a story for each one but then got distracted and started doing bullet points and it turned into this mesh. I think i may need to stop for the day cause Im running low on my creative energy)) 

Undertale

Sans

The first time you saw him,he had already seen you many times before

Most of your day was spentin the kitchen, cooking away as Grillby served the customers and only coming outwhen you felt like he was lagging behind

(that was rarely an issue,but you also knew business was booming now that monsters were on the surface. Afterthe initial tourists made their rounds to the monster shops you thought things woulddie out. But people quickly gained a taste for the little bar on the outskirtsof town. Enough so that the bar could very quickly get busy) 

Sans saw you in passing,carrying plates of food and rushing to and fro. Despite his aversion to crowdshe found himself going on the busier days, hoping to see you again as you bustledaround the bar 

And gosh, was it weird thathe might have started to get a crush on someone with so much energy? You alwayswere so full of life as you moved around. You chatted with the costumers animatedly, all while keeping pace with Grillby and somehow taking orders at the sametime??? How the hell did you do all of that??? He was getting tired justwatching you!

Eventually, though, hegets his chance to actually meet you

He had been walking intoGrillby's when he found you outside, sitting on the ground with your chefs hattilted downwards and he just froze up. This was his chance to talk but he didn’tknow what to do??? He couldn’t just say “hey ive been watching you work for thepast few weeks and I really want to get to know you and stuff but please donethink im creepy”

Of course, all thatworrying was for nothing when he heard you let out a loud, obnoxious snore

Were you… Had you just…fallen asleep? The big ball of energy out like a light in the middle of the day?! 

He checked under your capto see your eyes closed. Either waiting for your shift to startor -by how disheveled you looked- probably taking a break after a long day. Hewondered how many times you had worked yourself to the bone just to fall asleepthe second you had a moment. That maybe, more often then not, your boundless energywas diminished by the end of the day

And by accident (or somegod above that wanted to completely embarrass him) you woke up in the middle ofhis staring

“Oh!” you had said, withouta hint of malice, “You’re Tab Guy!”

“I’m the what!"

Underfell

Red

You were pretty sure hewas an alcoholic

The first few times youcame to work, he was already drunk. Bordering on black out. He slurred hiswords and made very… unnecessary comments at some of the patrons. Eitherlooking for a fuck or a fight. Whichever he could get

But never to you, whichwas both relieving and somewhat confidence shattering

(it wasn’t like you wantedto be catcalled (Or instigated)… but from the conversations you had with hisdrunken self when the bar was closing and the last patrons left you learned afew things about him

1: He liked puns

2: he was actually prettydang sweet

3: You were gaining a big crushon him very fast)

Grillby didn’t want todeal with him all that often (Something about a swiftly growing tab and hisbrother refusing to pay it off because he needed to learn responsibility) soyou became the go to deal with him. And it wasn’t like you were going torefuse, mostly because Grillby would handle the whole bar as long as you dealtwith Red for the rest of the night. It was like an all day long break!

Of course, after a wholeof getting to know him you had tried to cut him off. Just once.

“aint nothing…” he slurredto you, “ya see tha-tha alcohol… goes right thru-thro-through me…watch this…”

He proceeded to knock backanother drink, tipping both himself and the stood far enough that he toppledover onto the ground

For a long while he just laidthere, groaning in pain as you practically vaulted over the bar to check on him.Once you were down there you were greeted with his unapologetic snoring

After a quick chat withGrillby, who came out to find you hovering over the skeleton, he sent you offearly given you take Red home. So you slugged his arm around your shoulder andthen one of your own around his waist and headed off (after getting his addressfrom Grills, thankfully)

Most of the walk was spentwith him mumbling nonsense before nodding off, only to wake up a few moments laterand start rambling again

But something did stickwith you

“yer—” he said, all slurredwords and, “yer a gud human…all sweet an’ stuff… ya-ya listn ta me an… and yanever kick me out like grills does…a real sw’et’art. real gud an’ nice and..an...an--”

*SNORE*

Well... now you had to have his number

Horrortale

Jupiter

It’s a long while beforehe goes back to Grillby’s

You heard stories before,about these big skeletons in the underground that one day just came in and… assertedthemselves there. How one named Papyrus was the sweetest thing, even though so muchhe was the light of the town

And.. And then when theytalk about Sans- the other skeleton- it’s always in reverent whispers. Sure,they’ll tell you things like how he’s funny, a real sweetheart once you get toknow him, that he used to spend weekends at MTT resort before the incidenttelling jokes.

But then there’s thethings they didn’t tell you, hushed conversations of with only a whisper of hisname that would die out as you came by. It sent a shiver up your spine, because fromwhat you knew the guy was good but… 

...But there was somethingthey were keeping, some secret the whole Underground refused to let anyone inon, especially the humans

When you met him it was towardsthe end of your shift, on a quiet Wednesday night where it was too early to close,but far too late out for anyone to want to come in. So you were surprised whenyou heard the bell ring

The guy was big, hulkingwith a hole in his head the size of a crater, and you would have been terrifiedout of your mind had it not been for the fact he seemed so small in thatmoment. One big eye light darting every way and only relaxing when he caughtsight of no one except for little old you

He sat at the far end of abooth, and you bounded over to him with the kindest of smiles (Despite thesmall amount of fear still going through you) and spoke to him.

The conversation flowed easilyfrom there. Even though he spoke slowly and with a nervousness you knew well, hewas witty when he wanted to be, and his jokes had you laughing

(He beamed when he got youto snort, eye light flickering to a heart for just a second)

The rest would be dealtwith later but, for now, it was just you and this sweetheart of a skeleton in abar

(That is… until Grillbyfinally exited the back and practically engulfed Sans in a warm ‘welcome home’hug)

[ladymercytaylor]

All In - Chapter 5 (Joe Mazzello x Reader)

Chapter 5 y’all!!! This one is a thicc bitch that took forever and it aint my best but here it is for ya! Hope you enjoy it :) Summary: You and Joe were in a blissful relationship for 4 years. It seemed as though everything was perfect. You’d moved in together and all of your friends were taking bets on when he’d finally put a ring on your finger. That is until it all fell apart. Now, 1 year on you’re thrown together at a mutual friend’s wedding and it changes everything between you. Previous chapter can be found HERE

Chapter 5 – 9 weeks and 3 days

Getting ready for your night out with the boys was a new experience to say the least. Normally you’d chose the best dress in your wardrobe, but the ever steady swelling of your stomach was gradually reducing your clothing options. You knew that you didn’t have much longer before you’d have to start buying new clothes, but every time you tried you found a cold sweat breaking across your brow and gave up. After staring at your closet for a solid hour you admitted defeat and grabbed the same dress you’d worn to Sebastian’s wedding all those months ago and your trusty Spanx. The waist of the dress hit you right under the bust and would probably provide the best camouflage for your little nugget. “Seriously, spanx?” came Flick’s slightly judgemental voice from over your shoulder. “Shit, Flick!” you exclaimed, clasping your clothes over your racing chest as you rounded on her. “Don’t startle the pregnant chick!” “What, like startling you is going to suddenly eject the baby?” she teased, stepping into your room. She flopped dramatically across your unmade bed, stretching her long arms above her head. “And I re-iterate. Spanx, really? Isn’t that bad for the baby?” “I’ve done extensive Googling. Everyone says it’s fine” you explained, moving to your dresser to pick out your jewellery for the night. “And I don’t really have another option”

“The guys all know now, right? You can be pregnant and proud” she giggled and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.  “It’s not just that, Flick” you murmured, sifting through the delicate gold chains in your wooden jewellery box. “Those boys attract so much attention now. Before the film it was different but now they’re just…something else. The last thing I need is some random paparazzi noticing and then having plastered all over the internet” You continued to search through your accessories. You picked out a pair of white stone drop earrings and set them to the side before staring intensely at your necklaces, waiting for one to jump out at you. You were only really half focussed on the task though as you could feel the question Flick was not asking.   “What would that matter, though? You are pregnant. It’s a fact”  A dejected sigh slipped passed your lips. You knew this conversation was coming. Flick had always been on the peripheral when it came to Joe’s life. She saw him when he was sitting around in his stained track pants with 4 day old stubble shouting at the Yankees game on TV. She was never there when your date night was interrupted by a fan. Or when you were getting screamed at by a wall of photographers at the premier of one of his movies.  “Things are different for Joe” your voice was much quieter and tense than Flick had expected and she suddenly felt a twinge of guilt in her stomach. “His life is public property. No matter how hard he’s tried there’s always things that he can’t keep private. We were together for 2 years before I even made it onto his Instagram and even that was just because a fan sent out a photo of us on a date first” you sighed, abandoning your search for a necklace to plop down next to her on your bed. “If anyone sees us together and notices that I’m pregnant they’re going to immediately assume that Joe and I are back together. And I just don’t think I can handle that right now” you murmured, picking absentmindedly at the chipping nail polish on your fingers.  You didn’t notice Flick get up off the bed and cross to your dresser until she stood in front of you, a gold necklace glimmering between her fingers.  “This one” she offered with a smile, stretching out the chain between her hands. Your breath caught in your throat as you recognised the necklace. A small 4 leaf clover dangled from the delicate gold chain, sending flashes of gold light across your face.  “Joe gave me that” you murmured, “when we went to Ireland” Flick chuckled quietly as she leaned forward to secure the clasp behind your neck. “I know”

Your heart was hammering against your chest as you neared the restaurant. Joe was meant to collect you from your apartment, but a late running audition had you making the trip uptown by yourself. You kept your denim jacket wrapped tightly around your middle for the whole journey. You hadn’t had to worry about photographers in such a long time that you were startled by how quickly the paranoia returned. Any time you saw someone with a phone in their hand your heart began to race all over again. Your face flushed with an embarrassed heat when a grandma pulling her phone out on the subway had sent you into a small panic. Like some random grandma was going to know that you were Joe Mazzello’s ex-girlfriend. You shook your head, mentally scolding your ridiculousness and vainly attempting to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones. Fortunately you didn’t have much time to think about is as you recognised three very familiar faces through the restaurant window as you exited the station. A beaming smile broke out across your face as you raced inside, desperate to see three of your best friends again. “Gwilly!” you squealed, rushing over to their table. “Y/N!” Gwil replied, immediately pushing out of his seat to wrap both of his arms around you in a vice-like hug. “Oh it’s so good to see you!” he murmured into your hair and you held him even tighter, tears prickling the back of your eyes. Oh how you’d missed him. “Careful, careful!” Rami warned softly, hoping out of his seat. “You’re going to squash mini-Mazzello!” Gwil set you down with a soft laugh and you immediately spun to hop into Rami’s waiting embrace. “Mini-Mazzello is perfectly well protected, Rami” you smiled, kissing him softly on the cheek as you parted. “And congratulations!” you beamed, grasping his shoulders tightly “you deserved every single one of those awards. Fucking outstanding” “Oh, stop” he chuckled, waving a hand dismissively but the darkening of his cheeks gave him away. “And what am I, spare parts?” came a rather indignant voice from over your shoulder. “Of course not, Benny” you teased, letting go of Rami to fall into Ben’s arms. “Just saving the best until last” “Hmm, I guess I can live with that” he chuckled, kissing your temple softly. “Look at you! I used to think that ‘pregnancy glow’ thing was bullshit but I find myself proven wrong” he grinned. “Please, that’s called highlighter and hormonal acne” you replied playfully. Everyone took up their seats, the one next to you left vacant for Joe. “So, how’ve you been?” asked Gwil, leaning forward eagerly on the table. “Work good?” “Can’t complain” you smiled, fidgeting with the gold charm resting against your collar bones. “Got promoted. I’m one of the senior dentists which is nice” “You’re going to have to explain how that’s different from a normal dentist” Rami chuckled and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Dating an actor and socialising with his creative friends had always left a certain amount of disconnect with careers. “Nothing very dramatic, I just get given some more difficult cases and have to take part in their NYU placement program and mentor a dental student. Mine’s called Nadia. She’s cool” you smiled. You were just about to begin telling them one of your more interesting stories that involved Nadia locking herself in the storeroom for 2 hours when a torrent of apologies flooded your ears. “Sorry, sorry, sorry. Director just would not stop talking!” Joe blabbered as he flopped into the seat beside you. “Sure sure, Joe” Gwil teased, flipping open the menu in front of him. Joe, very maturely, poked his tongue out at his friend. “Why do you refuse to see the best in me, Gwil?” Joe pouted, flipping the menu in front of him with over exaggerated vigour. “Past experience” Rami supplied with a cheeky grin. Chuckles erupted all around the table and your ex-boyfriend rolled his eyes playfully. “You’re all just hungry” he muttered grumpily, turning his hazel eyes to the list of dishes in his hands.

Dinner buzzed passed in a whirlwind of conversation and you were only just realising exactly how much you’d missed in the last year. Gwil told you all the details about his proposal to Sarah (it was so sweet you found yourself tearing up, but luckily for you it went unnoticed by the rest of your party). Rami told you all about his next project. He was so excited to be co-starring with Lucy again that he was practically vibrating out of his seat. It warmed your heart to see him speak of her with such care and affection. You’d been on set the day Rami had asked Lucy out to dinner and you’d never seen him so excited. Ben didn’t have anything in the way of exciting news ‘Just work, you know’ but his bright green eyes began to sparkle when you asked how Frankie was doing. She was perfect, as always. But he’d recently been fighting the urge to get her a brother or sister. Spending so much time away from home he wasn’t sure he could handle the guilt of leaving two babies behind instead of one. Despite his reservations you were quick to tell him to get another dog. Not being allowed a pet in your apartment you’d made it your mission in life to live vicariously through your friends.

“So, bar?” Ben suggested as your party stepped out of the stifling restaurant into the cool breeze. “Isn’t that a bit pregnancy-unfriendly?” Rami pointed out with a quick glance in your direction. “Maybe we should head off?” Joe suggested to you, the orange streetlights above your heads dying his hair even more ginger. You knew he was just trying to be considerate. You did. But something in his tone had your skin crawling. And you found a frown furrowing your brow. “I’m pregnant, not dying” you scoffed, stepping away from him to link your arm with Ben’s. “To the bar!” “God, I’ve fucking missed you” the blonde chuckled, immediately setting off down the street, leaving the other boys to follow behind you. Ben dragged you into the first bar you came across, desperate to continue the night before anyone mentioned going home again. “What can I get you?” he asked, pausing as he stepped towards the crowded bar. “Uh…” you murmured, options quickly running through your head, “Lemonade with a slice of lime in a short glass. It’ll look like a G&T to the unaware” you explained. “Roger that, captain” he confirmed, giving you a mock salute before braving the throng of people swaying to the thumping music. Joe, Gwil and Rami traipsed in behind you. Gwil and Rami immediately copied Ben’s trajectory to the bar while Joe hung back to stand next to you. “I didn’t mean to imply anything earlier” he murmured. The despondent tone of his voice had guilt settling in your chest. You opened your mouth to tell him that you were sorry for snapping at him but Ben returned with your drink and beers for everyone else and the words died on your tongue.

“Oh that’s so much better!” you sighed in relief, stepping out into the cool night air after hours of dancing. You hadn’t realised how hot you were until the breeze blew against your sweaty skin. “Come, darling, there’s some seats in yonder corner!” Gwil proclaimed dramatically before grabbing your hand and dragging you to an empty table in the corner of the patio. You let him pull you as peals of giggles fell from your lips. Tipsy Gwil was one of the best Gwils. “Ah, perfect!” he announced as he folded his limbs into the green metal chair. “You know Ben wasn’t joking, pregnancy suits you” he smiled warmly, “But let me guess, it’s been hell right? I don’t know why they bothered calling it morning sickness when it literally happens all day” he chuckled.  “Exactly!” you laughed, running your fingers along the cool glass of your drink. “Morning, noon and night. It’s torture”  “Oooh, how did your nine week ultrasound go? Do you have the photos?” he asked eagerly, excitement glittering in his blue eyes. You moved to reach into your bag and produce your phone to show him, but something stopped you.  “Gwil” you murmured measuredly, eyes narrowing playfully, “by any chance is Sarah pregnant?” you asked, a knowing smile growing on your lips. His eyes widened in disbelief. “What? Nooooo” he denied, crossing his arms firmly over his chest. “Don’t know what you’re talking about” however a furious red blush swept across his cheeks.  “Mhhmm sure” you chuckled, withdrawing your phone out of your bag to pull up the ultrasound photos. “You should tell her that Vitamin B6 supplements help with the all-day nausea” you murmured as you scrolled through your camera roll, “She’ll still throw up but she won’t feel so crap in between” “Will do” he beamed, but his smile immediately fell when he realised what he’d done. “Fuck, please don’t tell anyone!” he begged, leaning forward to grasp both your hands in his. “It’s so early and we’re not telling anyone til after the wedding” he pleaded, desperation in his shining eyes.  “Secret’s safe with me, Gwilly” you assured, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “Just let her know she can talk to me about it all if she wants. It’s….overwhelming to say the least” “You’re a gem” Gwilym sighed gratefully, releasing your hands to pick up his beer bottle and take a swig. “Oh! Photos! Photos!” he demanded, bouncing in his chair so intensely that some other patrons eyed him wearily.  “Alright! Settle petal” you chided, passing him your phone.  “Aww” he cooed as he took in the black and white photo on the screen. “It’s like a grey gummy bear!” he exclaimed and a burst of laughter escaped your lips. “I’m totally telling Joe you said that” you giggled as he handed the phone back to you. “Gwilym Lee – uncle to a gummy bear” “Oh hush” he scolded with a smile before draining the last of his beer. “Now, who has two thumbs and needs a drink? This guy” he grinned, pointing his thumbs at his chest. “Come back inside with me. We probably need to rescue Ben and Joe from themselves at this point” “I don’t think you’re in much of a state to be saving anyone, Sir Gwilly” you chuckled as he attempted to extract himself from the small chair and nearly tumbled to the floor in the process. Over Gwil’s shoulder you could see a burly bouncer in a far too tight black t-shirt eyeing your friend critically.  “I’m fine! I’m fine!” the brunette insisted far too loudly as you pushed him back inside the bar. “I’m perfectly responsible, thank you” he clipped…before tripping over the uneven floor and staggering into the bar.  It didn’t take you long to find the rest of your party. It’s kind of hard to miss 3 grown men doing what appeared to be their best impression of Magic Mike dancing at the bar. Rami was quite happy bopping along, his eyes glazed over as he danced in his own little world while both Ben and Joe were gyrating along to Rihanna’s Jump like their lives depended on it – lips pursed and eyes closed in concentration.  “I need another drink if I’m going to have to watch that” Gwil shouted into your ear over the music before disappearing into the darkness.  “Y/N!” Ben cried out as he opened his eyes, immediately finding you. “Come dance!” he shouted, not even waiting for your response before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the mass of people. A grin stretched your lips as you let him draw you in, immediately falling in step with their moves. Despite the alcohol that was clouding his brain, Joe watched you with perfect clarity. He felt like he’d fallen into one of his dreams – the kind that had plagued him ever since he let you go. Bringing you on nights out with his friends had always been one of his favourite things. You were so carefree, eyes sparkling brightly under the rainbow lights, nothing but laughter leaving your lips as you watched him pull out his most absurd dance moves. You always liked to say that he was by far the worst dancer you’d ever seen but he knew there was no malice in your words. He only did it to make you smile anyway.  Watching you dance with Ben, the blonde spinning you around and pulling you against him set his teeth on edge. Not out of jealousy – never that. But to Joe you almost felt like a mirage – so close and yet still so far away. Just when he thought things were going okay he’d say the wrong thing and feel like he was right back at square one again, needing to have Ben step in and call a truce. It felt unfair. Nothing had changed between you and his friends. Gwil loved you just as much as ever. There was no shred of awkwardness between you and Rami when you chatted about work and Ben had no qualms about placing his hand in yours. But he, the one who loved you the most, was stuck behind a glass wall he didn’t know how to break.

It was around 2am that you felt yourself begin to lag. The droning music was crushing against your skull and the relatively sensible heels you’d chosen were beginning to cut into the backs of your ankles. But determined not to be the first to crack you continued dancing, letting Gwil spin you around the makeshift dancefloor. Joe, however, was not as far gone as the other boys and saw your growing fatigue. He saw the way your shoulders were sagging and that the smile gracing your face whenever Ben pulled out some ridiculous dance move was slowly diminishing. Checking his watch he decided with a soft sigh that he was going to have to be the one to pull the plug. There was no way you were going to tap out first. Pregnant or not. “It’s nearly half passed 2” Joe yelled to Gwil, taking advantage of a slight lull in the music. “Maybe we should think about heading off?” A grumpy pout pursed Gwil’s lips but he nodded. He’d stopped drinking a few hours ago but Ben and Rami had ploughed right ahead and he wasn’t sure quite how much longer the two of them could stay vertical. Or evade security’s watchful eye. Joe and Gwil spent the next 10 minutes trying to corral their rather inebriated friends. You hadn’t been an issue. The relief that washed across your face at the suggestion of leaving didn’t go unnoticed by Joe and he felt a surge of pride warm his chest. Rami wasn’t a difficult target, Gwil just had to gently push him towards you, who grabbed his arm tightly. He didn’t seem bothered by it at all really, continuing to bop gently along to the music by your side. Ben, however, was not so simple. He recognised that parental look on Gwil’s face and immediately made a dash to the bar. “Ben, no! Enough!” Gwil commanded, grabbing him by the back of the shirt. “You’re so boring!” the blonde shouted back, but the older man was quicker. He took full advantage of Ben’s impaired stability and tugged on the navy fabric, bringing Ben into a weird pseudo-bearhug so that he used to steer him towards the door. “Spoil sport” he grumbled as Gwil lead the group out of the bar, a rather smug smile on his face. The cool summer air enveloped you as you stepped out onto the street. Summer in New York was unbearable to some but you’d always loved those playful summer nights. For a long time they had been spent with Joe. Either strolling aimlessly through Central Park or trying to find the best ice cream place in within a 6 block radius of your apartment. You’d been together for 2 years before you found it – a little family run shop tucked in between a dry cleaner and a 24 hour pizza joint. Your whole body practically melted the first time you’d tasted their sinfully delicious salted caramel ice-cream and it had quickly become your favourite Friday night hangout. But you didn’t go there anymore. “Alright, where are my boys staying?” you asked, slinging your denim jacket over your folded arms. “My place. It’s only a 15 minute walk from here” Joe supplied, swaying on the spot so violently that Gwil had to steady him with a strong hand. “Please look after them for me” you chuckled to Gwil, watching Ben and Rami continue to dance along to the music that was pouring out of the bar’s open windows. “Subway’s not too far from here. I’m going catch the train” you explained, gesturing up the dark street. “You can’t catch the train alone” Gwil interjected, concern furrowing his brow. “And before you interrupt - I’d say that even if you weren’t carrying such precious cargo” he added quickly. You huffed gently, crossing your arms over your chest but stayed silent. Joe was nodded rapidly beside him and you knew better than to argue with them. “You can crash at mine. There’s plenty of space” Joe offered immediately, his cheeks flushing slightly pink. “Sleepover!” Rami shouted gleefully, sending Ben into a peal of giggles. “I dunno, guys” you murmured, your eyes flickering to the chipped pavement. The night had gone so well so far. Spending the night with Joe just felt like asking for trouble. “Please? Oh please please please please” Ben begged, abandoning Rami to wrap his arms around you. “Pleeease? We’ve missed you” he moaned and you felt that tinge of guilt twist your insides again. “Alright, but only if you get off me. You’re all sweaty” you chuckled, trying to prize his thick arms off you. “Picky picky picky” he tutted playfully but retracted his arms. “Onwards!” he shouted, raising his arm like a charging warrior and thundering down the street. “Ben!” Joe shouted after him. “Other way!”

Your intrepid quintet managed to make it 10 minutes into your journey to Joe’s place before the night claimed its first victim. “Guys, I don’t feel so good” came Ben’s slurred moan from somewhere behind you. “Come on, Ben. We’re only 5 minutes from home” Joe groaned, still wobbling slightly from side to side as he walked next to Rami. “I’m serious” he moaned, his deep voice echoing down the deserted street. Rami just rolled his eyes at the blonde but you turned to check on him. The colour was slowly draining from his flushed cheeks and a pained look was wrinkling his forehead. Your eyes quickly flickered around the street before they settled on a dumpster just tucked into the alley to your right. Recognising the slackening of his jaw you jumped into action, grabbing the boy around the chest and steering him quickly towards the grey bin. You got him there in the nick of time, immediately retching loudly followed by a loud, hollow splash. “Oh, Benny” Joe sighed sympathetically, slowly stumbling over to his friend. Ben continued to vomit into the dumpster but you had to step away, feeling your stomach lurch uncomfortably. “You alright, love?” Gwil asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he noticed the stricken look on your face. You didn’t dare open your mouth to respond, instead searching desperately for another dumpster. There was no such luck but there was a rubbish bin a few metres away. Running as fast your heels could carry you, you folded over the metal frame and threw up what was left of your delicious dinner. You were vaguely aware of a presence behind you, their strong hand resting on your upper back. As your thundering heartbeat faded from your ears you could finally make out the words being whispered behind you. “Bad chicken nugget” Joe murmured, his hand still rubbing soft circles on your back. “Making mummy sick” “Don’t blame nugget” you muttered, spitting very elegantly into the bin. “s’not their fault” “Still” he shrugged, his hand not leaving your slightly damp back as you straightened up, the rolling nausea slowly fading away. “Bad chicken nugget” he slurred softly. You laughed dryly before turning to the rest of your group. Ben was leaning heavily against the window of a closed shop, his blonde head pressed firmly against the dark glass. His forehead was slightly shining with sweat and a distinct green tinge coloured his cheeks. “Alright, boys. Let’s get this baby to bed” you commanded, stepping away from the bin. Joe’s heart clenched slightly as you also stepped out of his reach. “And by baby I mean this one” you explained, gently grasping Ben’s hand. The rest of the boys sniggered as he opened his slightly bloodshot eyes. “Come on, lovey” you smiled softly. “If I move I might chuck again” he warned, the corners of his pillowy pink lips twitching down. “Well if you do I’ll hold your hair back” you assured him, grabbing onto his arm tightly so you could pull him away from the window. “I’ll hold yours back if you do too” he slurred, letting you peel him away from the glass and back down the street towards Joe’s house. “That’s a good boy” you cooed gently, rubbing his arm comfortingly. “Practicing for motherhood?” Rami chuckled, twisting around to look at the two of you. It turned out to not be his smartest idea as he stumbled over his own feet and crashed into an unsuspecting Gwilym. “Bunch of children” he muttered playfully, wrapping his arm around Rami’s shoulders. “Are we nearly there dad?” Ben shouted at Joe, who rolled his eyes at Gwil’s snigger. “Almost. Now settle down or I won’t let you have the Oreos hidden in the cupboard” he warned. Ben moaned loudly next to you but you couldn’t help but giggle. It was cute of him to try, but you couldn’t help but snort at his attempt to be authoritative. Joe had always had ‘fun dad’ written all over him.

“Here we are. Home sweet home” Joe grinned, digging into the pocket of jeans and withdrawing his set of keys. The orange light of the streetlights bounced off the silver metal as he opened the front door, but you were transfixed in place, jaw slightly ajar. It was the exact brownstone that Joe had shown you the listing for all those years ago. It still had the same green front door with matching window shutters and a rainbow of flowers blooming in planter boxes under the sills. It was the definition of the perfect home - the exact kind of home you’d been hoping to share with him. The realisation that he’d found it for himself left an unsettling feeling in your stomach. “How the hell did you afford this?” you blurted out rather inelegantly. The rest of the group chuckled as Joe’s cheeks flushed scarlet. “There was a nice bonus for each of us after BoRhap did so well” Gwil explained softly. “Damn” you murmured appreciatively. The lock clicked softly and Joe shepherded the group inside, flicking on the lights. A soft golden glow flooded the entry, bouncing back off the dark polished floorboards. The boys all charged deeper into the house towards the kitchen, Ben’s cries of “Oreos!” barely registering in your mind. An uncomfortable lump settled in your throat as you peered around the corner into the living room. Everything in the room screamed of Joe. He’d hung up all of his posters again and you smiled at the addition of a yellow and purple Bohemian Rhapsody print to the line up. The Jurassic Park one would always be your favourite though. “Cookie, milady?” a soft voice interrupted your thoughts. Joe offered you a small stack of biscuits. You were glad to see that he’d stopped swaying so much and happily took the cookies off him. “The house is beautiful, Joe” “Thanks” he murmured, a shy blush colouring his cheeks, “I was hoping you’d like it” “What’s not to like?” you chuckled, gesturing to the airy entry way and living room. “You bought a house. In New York. That’s the dream” “Well, Brooklyn” he corrected teasingly, nibbling the edge of one of his cookies, “But yeah, it’s pretty sweet” he opened his mouth to say something else, but the dull thundering of footsteps swept into the living room. “Bedtime!” Gwil was ordering, shoving Ben and Rami towards the polished staircase. Sharing a knowing smile you and Joe followed them to the second floor.  “Who’s sleeping where?” Rami asked as the five of your staggered up the stairs towards the bedrooms, cookies still clasped in your hands.  “Well I was going to share with Joe but I think that shan’t be the case now” Ben muttered, nodding to you.  “I can sleep on the couch, I don’t mind!” you volunteered quickly, a guilty heat prickling up your neck.  “No!” all 4 men replied immediately. You could tell from the tone that there would be no negotiating so you leant against the wall and watched them fight it out.  “The couch is too small for me!” Gwil argued when Ben suggested he sleep downstairs.  “Please you’re too big for any bed, you big tree” the blonde shot back playfully, swaying slightly on the spot. Gwil rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.  “Well if we’re using the height logic then Joe should sleep on the couch – he’s the smallest!” he argued. Joe’s mouth dropped open. “I’m not sleeping on the couch in my own fucking house!” he exclaimed, shoving another Oreo aggressively into his mouth, “it should be Rami!” “Uh, don’t think you’re going to be able to move him at this point” you interjected, pointing to the spare bedroom. The remaining 3 boys turned to follow your finger and groaned in chorus. Rami had evidently taken advantage of their bickering to step into the spare room, strip off his shoes and pants and hop under the covers. He was snoring soundly, covers tucked up to his neck.  “Well, Benny, looks like you’re on couch duty” Gwil grinned, slapping him firmly on his shoulder. The blonde groaned but seemed to accept defeat, moving to head back down the staircase. “Wait, I’ll do it on one condition” he stated, keeping his green eyes firmly on you. “You make us pancakes in the morning” “Deal” you grinned. Ben beamed triumphantly before descending down the wooden stairs.  “I’ll grab you some blankets” Joe volunteered, following his friend to the lower level. “Just grab anything you want from my dresser, Sweets” he called up, voice reverberating off the wooden floor, “Spare toothbrush under the sink as well” The second you walked into Joe’s bedroom it felt like being kicked in the chest. You were surrounded by every little thing that you’d missed so much for the last year. The abandoned stack of books on his nightstand that he always promised he’d get around to reading. His framed Yankees jersey hanging over the bed. His old baseball bat placed haphazardly against the wall. And the huge collection of framed photos that lived on top of his dresser. When you were pulling an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts out of the wooden drawer, your eye caught on a very familiar photo that made your heart stutter in your chest. It was a photo of you and Joe, taken on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody. You’d come to visit him for the first week – he’d insisted that he’d feel more confident if you were there. You’d thought that he looked so unbelievably adorable in his Live Aid outfit that you’d insisted on taking a photo. Joe, still a bit self-conscious about the perm, had agreed on the condition that you were in the photo too. You were both beaming at the camera, Joe’s arms wrapped firmly around your waist. If you looked close enough you could see Rami and Ben imitating the two of you behind the drum riser.  “It’s not weird that I still have that, is it?” Joe asked softly from the doorway. You shook your head, not daring to take your eyes off the photo.  “It was a good day” you murmured, clenching the clothes in your hand tightly as you willed yourself not to cry, tears prickling behind your eyes.  “Are you feeling a bit better?” he asked softly, padding across the dark carpet. He reached into the open drawer and withdrew a pair of his own pyjamas. “I’m okay” you assured him with a gentle smile. “Can’t wait for this part to be over though” Joe smirked at your chuckle, leaving you in front of the dresser to head into the en suit. While he was getting ready you swapped your slightly damp dress for Joe’s clothes, taking the moment to fold your dress carefully next to your heels, trying desperately to ignore the comforting feeling of the soft fabric against your skin. “All yours” Joe announced as he stepped back into the room, now clad in his matching blue pyjamas. You murmured your thanks as you scurried passed but it didn’t go unnoticed by Joe that your eyes racked down his figure before the door clicked shut. Sleep took you as soon as your head hit the pillow, but Joe refused. He lay awake, battling the drowsiness that was pulling against his eyelids. He knew he should sleep. It was late and he had a whole day of full of plans with the boys, but he just couldn’t tear his hazel eyes off you. Nothing about you had changed in the last year. You were still just as stunning, your hair splayed out on the pillow, lips slightly parted as you took deep steady breaths. And for a moment, just a moment, if he forced himself to forget about the baby - forget about the break up and just imagine that he’d never walked away from you - everything was right in the world. But reality came rushing back a few moments later, disappointment crushing against his chest.

The soft morning light streamed in through the gap in Joe’s curtains, falling across your face to rouse you from sleep. Groaning slightly you reached for your phone, squinting at the bright light, only to sigh in disappointment. Who wakes up at 7.30 on a Sunday? You were only awake and scrolling through Instagram for a few blissful minutes before you felt that all too familiar roll of your stomach, sweat prickling on your brow. As carefully as you could, you threw off the blankets and dashed out of the room. Stumbling down the corridor, you finally made it to the bathroom where you proceeded to fall to your knees in front of the toilet to throw up what was left of your late night Oreos. “You alright there, bub?” came a gentle voice from over your shoulder. You sat back with a grown, flushing away the evidence. “Just peachy” you muttered, standing to rinse your mouth out at the sink while Gwil watched you, nothing but sympathy in his deep blue eyes. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” you moaned, leaning against the marble counter. You watched him shake his head in the mirror, his messy hair falling across his forehead. “Rami kicked me in his sleep. Figured it might not be a bad idea to duck out and get them all some decent coffee. God knows they’re going to need it” he chuckled. “Did you want to come with? Fresh air always makes Sarah feel better” “Definitely” you grinned gratefully, exiting the bathroom. “Just let me get changed. Don’t think the public of New York are quite ready to see this” you chuckled, gesturing to Joe’s old basketball shorts and ripped Yankees shirt. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Joe wear that exact outfit in public before so I wouldn’t worry” he laughed before heading down the stairs, leaving you to get yourself ready.

“So, how are you really doing?” Gwil asked the second the two of you stepped out onto the sunny street. A few pedestrians passed you but no one gave you a second glance much to both of your relief. “Told you last night, Gwil. I’m good” you replied lightly, keeping your eyes firmly on the concrete path ahead. You could feel his piercing gaze on the side of your face and resolutely ignored it. “Y/N, it’s just me” he said softly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “There isn’t anything you can’t tell me” “What do you want me to say, Gwil?” you asked measuredly as the back of your neck prickled uncomfortably. “I – I just – you’re doing a really good job of acting like everything’s okay. And I almost believe you. But this has to be hard” “Of course it’s hard” you murmured, scuffing your toe against the dark pavement, “You try throwing up 6 times a day. Oh, and pregnancy brain is 100% real by the way. I accidentally put my keys in the fridge and almost threw my phone away the other day” you chuckled. But Gwil could feel the hollowness of your voice. “I didn’t mean that” he replied softly, flapping the sides of his jacket nervously. “I meant spending so much time with Joe” Ice cold panic shot up your veins. For all the support you’d gotten from Flick and your family over the last 9 weeks, no one had articulated that particular issue. “I don’t mean to pry” Gwil murmured, interpreting your silence as offense, “I just can’t imagine it’s easy having him back in your life after so long” “There’s good and bad in it” you whispered after a long silence, letting your gaze drift to the emerald trees hanging over the road. “It’s just a weird reminder, you know?” you murmured, sniffling slightly and the Brit felt an overwhelming wave of sympathy for you. “Having him around just reminds me of how much I loved him and how much he hurt me at the same time. It’s exhausting honestly” “You’re handling it like an absolute champ, love” Gwil murmured as the two of you came to a stop outside the coffeeshop. He noticed the tears glistening in your eyes and pulled you into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around you. “That baby has got the toughest woman I’ve ever met as it’s mum” he whispered into your hair. A few tears dripped down your cheeks as you hugged him back just as tight. “Oh, and I have something to ask you” he added, voice much brighter than a few moments ago and you found yourself desperate for a change of subject. “Would you please come to the wedding? Sarah and I would both love to have you there” “Of course, Gwilly” you beamed into his shirt, giving him a tight squeeze around the middle. “Now, come on. Those hungover boys are relying on us” you chirped, reluctantly pulling out of his embrace. Gwil grasped the metal doorhandle, pulling the door open to let you in first. You smiled happily up at him as he let you pass, scurrying into the cold relief of air conditioning.

Joe slowly blinked awake as the delicious scent of vanilla flooded his bedroom. He sat up to see Gwilym standing in the doorway, a plate piled high with steaming pancakes in one hand while the other wafted the smell into the room. “Breakfast is ready when you are, your highness” the older man teased gently, stepping back out into the corridor. Joe grinned and threw the covers back, tearing out of the bedroom and down the stairs. When he walked into the kitchen he was greeted with a sight that made his heart skip a beat. Two of his best friends in the world were propped up at the kitchen table, both looking a little worse for wear but at least conscious, while his third best friend stood in the kitchen, evidently playing sous chef to you. You had that radiant smile on your face that he’d missed so much while you ladled batter into a sizzling frypan. You were dressed in your own clothes again and he felt his heart pang slightly. Last night he realised how much he’d missed seeing you in his clothes. His heart practically stopped when you pulled on his jersey. “Good morning, sunshines” he beamed at Rami and Ben who only managed grunts of acknowledgement. “Now we’re all assembled – we can eat!” Gwil cried happily, hurrying over to the dining table with three plates of pancakes in his hands. “Not so loud, mate” Ben groaned, slowly sitting up as his breakfast was dropped in front of him. “You young ‘uns. Don’t know when to stop” Gwil tutted mockingly, heading back into the kitchen to grab his plate of pancakes. “I distinctly remember a few nights in Japan that would negate your argument, Lee” Rami chuckled, taking a slow sip of water and wincing slightly. You smiled to yourself as you watched the round disks of batter slowly bubble in the pan. Of all the casts Joe had ever been a part of, there was something undeniably magical about the Bohemian Rhapsody boys. “Sweet mother of mercy, I forgot how good these were” Ben groaned, his lips firmly around his fork. Rami nodded enthusiastically, a droplet of syrup slipping down his chin. You giggled softly, flipping the last of the pancakes out of the steaming pan and onto your plate. “If we come to New York more can we have more pancakes?” Gwil grinned as you sat down opposite him. “I’m deeply offended that you only want me for my food” you pouted, cutting off a small section of your breakfast. “We like you for others reasons too” The laughter bubbling from your lips died as you felt your stomach roll. Oh no, not again. You dropped your cutlery with a clatter on the dining room table before dashing towards the bathroom for the second time that morning, your hand clasped over your mouth. “Shit” Joe whispered, immediately pushing away from the table and hurrying after you. “I’ve missed her” Rami murmured after a few moments, his eyes not leaving the half eaten plate of pancakes in front of him. “He’s missed her too” Ben added quietly, stabbing a square of pancake rather aggressively. A heavy pause passed between the three boys. “You reckon….?” Rami asked, his hand twitching slightly against the metal of his fork. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see” Gwil murmured, his blue eyes still fixed on the hallway his two friends had disappeared down.

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW! Stay tuned for the next chapter! TAG LIST!!

@sunflower-borhap-boys @blushingwueen @briarrose26 @mrsmazzello @escabell @yourealegendroger @sincereleygmg @zvzxs @dramatique-moi @borhapqueen92 @manuosorioh @deakyjohns @rogwhoretaylor

[pinkpoundcake]

DESERT DEVIL

CH. 1 THE HISS

All Might/ Reader as Female OC

NSFW AU ( Yes there’s smut)

4k+ words

Here’s the first chapter of something I’ve been working on during off time at school. I like writing drastically different AUs, because they give me a lot liberties. I intend for this to be a short series, so maybe two or three more chapters after this one. Hope ya enjoy if you read! 

I’m not sure if FF.net will allow second person, so I’m posting it here. I aint got no AO3. I also apologize for any mistakes! I’ll go back an’ fix as I see em. 

EDIT: Went back and fixed some things. Also, I changed the category of this fic. I’m warning the reader that you’re an OC! Kinda like you’re a preset character in a dating sim? If that makes any sense. Those be my only terms of free service. 

I.

Dusk had gone and night finally draped over the still view of the valley. You were a silly girl, really. No one in their right mind would pick now of all times to draw water from one of the wells. Maybe once upon a time they would have. It wasn't impractical to wait until the sun stopped cracking its infernal whip to get things done, but once upon a time, the valley had nothing to fear.

II.

You were walking quickly. You kept your wooly head low as you neared the crudely built structure. Only one bucket of water. No one would mind. You just couldn't go to bed with a clear conscience without finally giving your poor, overworked horse something to drink. You'd take the risk, because glory knows you hated having cottonmouth. It was cottonmouth season...all year round it felt, except for the few praise inducing weeks the sky would show mercy and weep. Dry mouth, dry eyes, dry coat, dry everything. Such is the way of the desert.

You gave your heavy water bag a hard yank to make sure it was sealed before you hightailed it back to your plot. The locust had stopped gossiping in the weeds, and it was making you nervous.

III.

You were the sort of gal who liked to blend in, but your talents made that hard. You had an ability, A Gift, as folks liked to call these sorts of things, that made you incredibly valuable for trade.

You engaged in it as well, because you had to, to get along, but it made you an easy volun-telling target for other croppers and craftsmen and all manners of citizens with business

“Could you chat with this fellow for me? He speaks...sumfin’. The hell if I know. He owes me money.”

“Tell that eastern cheapskate I won't go any lower on price!”

“Hey, goat girl, tell the front counter dame in the Apothecary she's welcome in my bunk any time of day~”

First of all, you were a sheep. Second of all...fine.

IV.

Your Gift was nice for the most part. You had your own upper hand when it came to sale. You could understand anyone, no matter the spoken language. Absolutely essential for such an oddly diverse patch of scorched Earth. You could even help filter a speaker to an entire audience if you held their hand. You didn't like to advertise that though, otherwise the mayor and sheriff and whoever else, would be breathing down your neck even more than they did now.

If no one around knew you, then they usually assumed your appearance was all there was to your Gift. So, what you loved most was eavesdropping. Conversations were mostly mundane in other languages. That's how talking worked, but there were days when you were served some pretty interesting dirt or juicy news by unknowing hosts.

They're going to start rationing water tomorrow. Some serious limits, I reckon.

I didn't think it would be this bad this year?! It rained just enough in the early season, didn't it? I wonder where it all goes.

You wonder the same. It gets worse and worse every year. Every year it's a point of serious tension. They don't call this valley Struggler for nothing. Struggling was this town's first, middle, and last time. Maybe it's old maiden name, too.

The commonality is, is that if you made it halfway through the desert, you stopped in this crowded, little town and clung to it for dear life. You personally knew what it was like. Everyone knew what it was like, to fear that you weren't going to make it to The Oasis at the end of your journey. After the promenade that chewed you up, and spat you out, you don't even try.

We don't have enough water for all the people we keep letting stay here!

But what kind of person could keep a cold heart here? What would it take to let someone waste away elsewhere, or worse, face the beast this desert had to offer.

The Hiss.

More chilling than a rattlesnake's warning.

V.

This broad blue sky. The hard clay and sand beneath his form, the cacti, the dry bones and evaporated watering holes. Every scavenger to circle overhead belonged to him.

The hard, hot wind. The mirages that danced in nauseating ribbons. They were his. He could lift his head, and think about howling to his old lovers, the stars, if he still had the singing voice. But he lost that a long time ago with one of his lungs.  He was getting old, too, but his bloodlust was getting stronger every year, along with a lot of puzzling urges.

He hated that he could only claim his seared kingdom at night, but it couldn't be helped. He was a partial coward who couldn't hope to understand himself. He still had a deep sense of decency. He was a hypocrite, in a sense. He didn't want to be a bother during the day, if he was such a big bother at night. But being a menace at night was to be a nuisance in the day, regardless.

And nuisance was...too light of a word. Far too light. Crows in his sunflowers were nuisances. Locust in his house were nuisances.

Him?

Oh, he was

VI.

“A killer...A fuckin’ killer!”

You watched as the town sheriff swore and covered the body of a, now former, foreman with a bit of canvas. Splotches of blood bloomed in the fabric over the inclines of the older man's face. From what you saw, he was mauled real good. Or...bad. A big bite right out of his jugular, clavicle, and most of his left shoulder. You weren't the only sick one in the crowd. You would have upchucked your breakfast if this wasn't something you were becoming accustomed to.

First it was Mr. Dandy, gnawed out chest, who used to rally up hunting parties with the German twins who could shoot right out of their fingers, no guns needed. Then it was Eclair, you didn't know her last name, who sold pungent perfume from her own sweat out of her tacky little shop. Y'all never found her head. Big Cat Capri from Cameroon, was torn in two. Though he was a menace with a forgettable Gift that wasn't much missed. Then there was another fellow. Japanese you think, but actually he was still limping around somewhere.

The only one to see The Beast and live… The fella's pretty busted up as far as you know.

Anyway, time for another funeral.

VII.

Speaking of that old Japanese fellow…

You didn't give him much of a glance at any given day, but you could see him  out of the corner of your squared pupils, watching you hand off chunks of unwashed wool to craftsmen who were probably going to fashion saddles or boots. It wasn't quite the right time to start plucking from your melon patch, or any of the desert dates, so you were selling off some old stock of your hair. Everyone knew it was your hair, and no one really cared.

God, you couldn't recall his name. You've never actually heard him speak, but the fella always sat at the posts near the trading square and just watched the street; waiting for someone with their hands full to need help lacing up their boots. Or for someone's goat to go astray so he could bring it back to them. Or to help some kid out on errands tether their family horse. You wonder why he would go through those little efforts on a limp. He walked with a cane, bright red like a dragon, with a yellowing cattle horn handle. He wore a big brimmed, leather hat so that he didn't catch perpetual sunburn, thick slacks, a poor fitting button up that used to be white, and strapped riding boots, too, but no spurs.

He was a strange sight, you noted with slight nervousness as he stood, and then made his way over to your shabby booth. He was a tall, tall, tall fella. Tall and skinny, like he didn't fancy eating much. You knew a couple of people who were like that. He had wild, blonde hair, he obviously didn't comb. And honestly, he had the prettiest blue eyes. At least you assumed they were. He was swallow enough that his eyes were sunk deep beneath his brow, but that blue struck out like an aimed double barrel. It made you wonder what he looked like when he was a colt.

“Afternoon, sir,” You cleared your throat. You watched his face to gauge how much he understood you. You didn't want to be rude. “No food. Just some wool today.”

The older man, squinted, seemingly thinking, and then gestured to your freshly sheared head with the handle of his cane.

“It's all mine, yes.” You laughed and scratched one of your horns to release some of your anxiousness.

“How...How much for it?” His accent was somewhat thick, but you were happy you wouldn't have to reach out and grab one of his massive hands to get on some equal ground.

“Five pieces for a small bundle. Ten for the big bundles there.” You watched the fellow consider which size, and then finally he made a decision. Slowly he lifted one of the large cottony wads, and then absentmindedly brought it to his nose. He gently inhaled the intriguing scent there.

You stared, perplexed, and confused. He seemed to pick up on your confusion, and righted himself. He gave you his own awkward smile, almost an apology for…whatever that was. He counted out ten small pieces for you, politely dipped his head with a thank you, and then moseyed along.

Strange…

VIII.

He was drunk. Absolutely drunk, and he'd never had a drop of liquor in his life. Tequila couldn't have been stronger than this. Your scent, your scent was so...He didn't know.

Good.

It made him hungry for things he'd forgotten the name of, forgotten how to describe. He didn't know what he was doing alone in the shack he called his home. Hiding his shame maybe. He'd locked the door with the big expensive chains and padlocks ( that were decor at this point) from the top shelf hours ago as night began to fall. He was paranoid, and feeling ravenous for a completely different, mysterious reason from what he was used to.

He held your wool in one hand, pressing it flush to his nose as he paced from one side of his home to the other. The misaligned floor groaned and weazed beneath his heavy, bare footsteps. His shadow, flickered from a candle or two, and swept the peach papered walls like a dark, lumbering menace.

What was it that he wanted now?!

He didn't understand himself anymore! There was no one to teach him his purpose.

He inhaled again, deep. His exhale emerged with a low rumble.  It rattled the chains strapping the front and back door, and shifted the glass in the kitchen window.

It was happening again much too soon.

There used to be a time when he could command the other half of himself. Where he could be whoever he wanted, whenever, but now he was stripped to nothing but incomprehensible impulses.

His wrath. His hunger. His pride.

Something new. His lust.

IX.

You just finished putting the blanket on Kissy, your horse, when the stars began to rub the long day from their eyes and glint down at you. Though still warm, the wind rolled over your fuzzy scalp and settled in the cooling sweat beneath your dark hide. You rubbed your arms, figuring you could use a blanket, too. Your draft's loud chewing in the stable cover was a calming background noise as it mingled with your thoughts. The flat distance, with it's mountainous levels was a pretty sight, despite being empty.

You've always wanted to roam at night, finally figure out what that fabled Oasis was on the other side of hell. You hoped it was heaven, or something close.  You wanted to explore more than your town, to see what was out there while the sun wasn't scheduling your funeral. You were bored of being too scared. Stressed with not having enough of the bare minimum essentials. Lonely, too. Kissy kept you company, maybe, but he wasn't all that good with conversation or cooking.

He wasn't good at stopping you from taking 'walks’ either. You found all sorts of excuses for yourself to roam at night. Kissy needed more water, or you needed to find some wild aloe for a wound, or you needed to find sand grubs for your greedy gossip of chickens.

Excuses, excuses.

Mr. Aizawa, was another Japanese fellow (you think), who wasn't the sheriff, but probably could have been. He'd tell you you were full of excuses. The town had a curfew of sorts to 'keep people safe’. Under what authority this curfew came from, you had no clue. If you were caught, the runner up sheriff hogg tied you with a lasso and a warning, and dragged your sorry, law breaking ass back home. Or fined you. Something like that.

He had an annoying Gift that kept others from using their Gifts to get away. You didn't know how he did it. Much to what was probably Deputy Aizawa's disdain, he was plucked out of the crowd the day he arrived. He had a scruffy grifter appearance, but the fellow was awfully strict, perfectly bilingual in relation to you, and knew  exactly what your own Gift entailed, so you couldn't pretend you didn't understand any of his honorary demands.

You didn't even give yourself a chance to consider he might be out and about on patrol. You didn't even consider where the hell you were going. All you knew was that you were:

Literally and figuratively hard headed.

And

Dumb as rocks because it was half past night noon, and anywhere beyond the aloe thicket was Hiss county.

The danger zone.

X.

A scent was a scent was a scent. Something to follow to a target. His prey were rotten. He caught the next foul stench on the hit list floating on the western wind. It filled his flared nostrils and made his mouth water with anticipation. His long, thick fingers were still raw and full of splinters from clawing his way out from his pathetic attempts at shutting himself in.

The night was a blur. He was unbothered by the grit he kicked up in his full run. Adrenaline pumped in his veins with the incredible accumulation of power that drove him. There was a roar in his ears. Something he rushed by sliced him; thin little scratches in several places, but he didn't notice. His heart thrashed beneath his ribs as he sensed himself drawing closer and closer.

Wait.

Suddenly, he came to a halt, giving the surrounding weeds severe whiplash.

Everything aside from his heart and his laboured breathing were still. Not a sound from any creature. Nothing was brave enough to disturb him.

There was something... something else on the wind he wanted much, much more that seemed to be coming from the same direction.

XI.

The last thing you wanted to hear was a voice while you were trying to be sneaky. You kept your body low and tucked your tail close to the full round of your bottom. It was going so nicely, your 'stroll’. You were going to take some notes in one of your books, maybe stuff some natural souvenirs in your pocket, and then head back home.

You held still for a while and used a few big, healthy stragglers of agave as your cover. You were hearing the voice again, now two voices. You didn't know what dialect they were speaking, so you closed your eyes, and used your Gift.

He's been shelling out a lot for this reroute. Keeping a lot of people's mouths shut. It's gonna be a lot harder to get this done without the foreman.

Yeah, I thought that, too. It's strange. I'm sorta...spooked. Mr. Dandy and now him. You’d think this whole thing was cursed.

Or someone knows…

They looked mauled, couldn't have been some poor bastard with a pistol.  What do they call the thing that's been chewing people up?

Depends on who you talk to. Yok... something. Yokay? Yokai? Chupacabra, though it's not gettin’ goats, that's for sure. Werewolf. Howler. Beast. Plain old monster.

I just hope it's a coincidence. I don't want to be next…

Now...what in the world we're these fellers talking about? You frowned while quietly slinking around to another perch. You watched your footing and hoped they would talk more, but now they were getting further and further away. Headed…somewhere.

Somewhere you kept your eye on. Might want to check it out next time you take a stroll.

XII.

The air pressure flipped like a coin  and cut through your moment of reprieve.

Bullseye.

You were so shocked you couldn't even scream. It was caught in your throat with a pinch of desert sand. Something massive and unyielding and menacing had ripped the ground from beneath your feet.

The sky was spinning round and round as the earth teetered wild on its axis. The moon was mocking you. The stars cackled as they danced, blurry streams trailing like faded candle lights behind them.

There was a black patch of sky that didn’t budge, and it only held two stars far above that didn't move either. Because they weren't stars,

they were vivid blue eyes.

XIII.

This was it. This was how you were going to die.

You were already nauseous from hitting you head, and now you were nauseous from hitting reality. You couldn't make a sound, could hardly breathe. Your throat burned like a shot of fireball. Your eyes were wide as you tried to make out the Beast's form. It was hard, with hot tears in your eyes, now shrouding the moon’s pale light. You could hear him, though, the hiss of death. It was high pitched, akin to the sizzle of a hot brand.

Would it have ripping fangs when it bit you? We're those its claws digging into your ankles as it dragged you elsewhere? You were in a bit of pain, and you could sense the stickiness of blood on your back, but you were mentally preparing yourself for a lot more. Images of the sheriff draping canvas over your mangled body caused you to wretch.

You were so stupid!!!!! SO GODDAMN STUPID. HOW COULD YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THIS SITUATION? NO WEAPON. NO NOTHING.  THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. HOW COULD YOU-

It stopped.

You stopped.

Confusion boxed you good over the ears.

You were staring up into the face of a man now, and he was staring right back at you.

Your confusion subsided into renewed fear. He was just a man, but the most unnaturally large man you had ever seen. Large was the wrong word. He was...immaculate. A threadbare shirt was struggling to hold itself together as his massive chest flexed. He had a heavily shadowed face and unreadable, though somewhat tense expression. His golden hair stood upright on his forehead head, like a red bat's ears or jack rabbit. Pure, wild, chaotic energy wafted from the heat of his skin. He shifted slightly while sizing you, and your eyes darted to the massive, bear paw of a calloused hand on the other side of your head.

He could sneeze and snap your neck. You believed he could tear a man in two. Oh God in heaven, he did! And you were next!

The Beast made a sudden movement, and you shut your eyes. You clenched everything from your horned head, to your cleft, hooven toes, and waited.

You had no choice but to hold your breath as his big, otherworldly body pressed into yours. It felt like being pressed between something more solid than a rock, and a really hard place. His breath, that you realized was rushed, cooly ghosted your forehead. Was he going to take your noggin like Eclair and mount it over his fireplace?

Greedily, he was drinking in your scent. So much stronger, so much better right from the source. He had to sample more of you. Sip you. Lap you up.

Where was it?! Where was more?!

You didn't think you could tense beyond how much you were tensed now, but you did as his nose left your head to wedge its way up into your neck. You felt the unnatural rumble of his voice in the hollows of your bones, filling your throat and chest. You prepared for hard, life ending bites, but all you received we're moderately painful nips and what could only be described as sloppy kisses. He received the sensation of kissing your fur with intrigue and almost groomed it with a big, wide tongue.

You didn't know what to say, or what to do. He hadn't said a word. You didn't know if the brute mounting you was really human, or …Something. Was all of this even real? Or were you home, wet dreaming about a good rut in your bunk again?

He needed more! More! More! More! Where was more of you?!

He left you one last bite on your shoulder that you were ashamed made you bellow out like the animal you were similar to. You slapped a hand over your mouth, but it was too late, the sound excited him. His nose grazed you, his rapid breaths through his nose like the pumping steam from a piston, a panting dog, frantically looking for more of your tastes and smells. Your clothes were in his way, but he didn't have the patience or current cognition to remove them.

He rubbed his cheeks against your generous chest, nipped your stomach through your tattered apron, and then zipped straight to your crotch. You were shocked as he unashamedly, obliviously, pressed his face there and very audibly inhaled. There was another rumble, loud enough to buzz through your entire body.

“A-Ah!” You cried out. The sharp, pleasurable tingle and sting from his deep voice, the pressure from his cheeks, and the heat of his breath was sudden. You were so…you were…

You could end this year's drought right here, right now.

You bit your lip, desperately wanting to access the situation. To think! To sort out what in the HELL was happening, but he had ripped through your overalls with his teeth and was lapping at your plump pussy through your knickers. He'd sniffed out the wetness that had slickened the fabric and was eager to taste. You moved closer and hissed out a pathetic Yeeessss!

Whimpering, you tried to push yourself up on your elbows. Your shoulders hit some hard, cool clay and the back of your head scraped more of the rough rock there. He was suckling like a thirsty calf, drawing the fabric of your knickers into the heat of his mouth along with your long, throbbing clit beneath. The suction was strong, unrelenting, almost painful.

“H-hey, hey! Easy, partner!” Your thighs  involuntarily snapped around his head, but he was undeterred. You shoved your hands against his brow, trying to get him to release.

“Please!” You were relieved when he finally did, but it was only for some adjustments. The brute drew his hands beneath your legs and dragged you further into the shadow so he could keep his meal all to himself.

His mouth attacked you again and you wriggled and writhed. Your own breath matched his labored huffs. You bit chunks out of your sense of morality while you bit your lip. With a shaking hand, you brought your clawed fingers to your crotch. His thick tongue grazed your knuckles as you worked to tug the fabric aside and reveal your dark, generous lips, and generously engorged clit beneath. He immediately took what you revealed to him, going from hungry to downright glutenous. You couldn't tell if the additional wetness you felt was from your own cyprine or slobber on his chin.

XIV.

“GOD!! Who are you?! What is your name?” Now was not the time to be asking these sorts of questions, but again, you did say you were a silly woman. You gritted your teeth to attempt to contain your cries. He didn't respond at first. The only reply for several deliciously, agonizing moments was the thick, slurping sound of his attention between your legs. This stranger, no demon,  was trying to shove his tongue as far up your womanhood as he could, and at this point, he had your loud, keening permission.

“AH! AHH!” Your slapped the hand that wasn't buried in his hair over your mouth again. You couldn't contain yourself. You'd never felt something like this before. You were a maiden who could only daydream, and you weren't sure if you could consider this that, or a nightmare.

“I said!” Your voice cracked and your back arched from the ground as you racketed up to an orgasm. Your voice was weary and hoarse. You were shrieking “what is your name?!”

He still had yet to respond, but if he chose now, you wouldn't have heard him. You came for the first time in your little life ( bless your heart); your mouth stretched wide open, waiting to catch flies. But all you caught was a big, wet kiss.

You could taste yourself. Taste his breath. Your legs were shaking. You were high like you'd been huffing gasoline, so you didn't put up a fight when he lifted you to his chest.

Someone was coming…

He had to take you elsewhere.

The open night sky. The owl judging you both from the whole it ate out a cactus. The earth beneath his feet. The howl of the wind as he ran and you both became a blur.

And you, clinging to his chest:

Belonged to him.

--

Chapter 1 End

[cryinggameff]

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

[troublemakerfiction]

34.

Millz

“That’s a pretty color; all of our dresses will be like that?” I asked Darnell after showed me what she wanted the bridesmaid’s dresses for her wedding to look like.

We were in the TV room in my house since I wasn’t allowed to leave to be on my feet for no more than an hour. Trouble was out doing whatever he does during the day, the only kid here was Malachi and he was in his little rocker minding his business.

“The bridesmaids yeah, but you’re the maid of honor so your dress will be made different. It’ll be the same color though.”

“I should’ve known y’all was going to have blue and white everything; fake ass crips.”

“Fuck you,” Darnell laughed. “It’s going to be bomb and lucky for you it’s a year away so you’ll have your body to yourself. You won’t be all swollen in my wedding pictures.”

“That’s great to know.” I sat back against the couch letting out a deep sigh.

“What is wrong with you?” Darnell looked at me confused.

“I’m bored; the only time I leave the house is to go to the doctor. He doesn’t let me do anything else, and I’m fucking hungry.”

I’ve been on house arrest oh my bad bed rest for two months now and it’s annoying as fuck, just like I knew it would be. For the first few weeks Trouble stayed with me but it would be unrealistic for him to be here all day every day with me for the next few months. The only reasons I haven’t gone coo coo for coco puffs is because Malachi is here and taking care of him gives me something to do.

“What did you eat today?”

“A nasty ass egg white sandwich, no salt no pepper, no cheese just dry ass egg whites.” I answered her while rolling my eyes.

“You sound upset,” She laughed.

“This shit aint funny, I’m never getting pregnant again. I’m done for real.”

“Oh please, you’re going to pop out that big head boy then get knocked up again. Just watch and see,”

“Shut up,” I chuckled. During my last appointment I found out that I was having another boy and it was a bittersweet feeling. Sweet because the sex really didn’t matter too much to me and it was bitter because it’s enough boys in this house already; another one definitely wasn’t needed.

“Can you have sex?”

“Yeah but he doesn’t want to with his scary ass. He’s really taking this bed rest shit too literal.”

The morning I was released from the hospital the doctor gave me specific instructions about what I can and cannot do. Now I was told that I couldn’t go to work, and I couldn’t be involved in anything that would stress me out.

I don’t know what the fuck Trouble was listening to because he’s on some extra shit. When he is home if I’m on my feet for more than an hour he’s fussing at me to go lay down. He’s too damn scared to have sex, talking about he doesn’t want me doing too much. Mind you I ask my doctor every time I see her can we have sex and she says yes, while he’s standing right there but he’s not trying to hear that shit at all.

“So he’s scared to fuck you?” Darnell questioned then busted out laughing like something was so damn funny. “All of this, is the exact reason Zaria is going to be an only child.”

“Yeah right,”

“I’m dead ass; Xavier and I are completely fine with her being the only child.”

“You don’t want any more kids?”

“Not really, I mean if it happens we’ll be happy about it but we’re not planning on having more. Besides, Trouble has newborn; you and Gianna are both pregnant. Another baby is not needed in the mix right now. Between the mommy and auntie duties I already have I’m good.”

“I feel you; I ended up with this many kids by default. It’s not like I’m just out popping babies out.”

“True, what is going on with baby boy’s mama anyway?”

“Nothing, she meets Trouble somewhere every Saturday to see him and it’s going to continue to be like this until she gets it together.”

After Nicki did all that bullshit at our house Trouble took it to the family lawyer I told him about and filed to get custody of Malachi. He was awarded temporary custody with Nicki only getting supervised visits with him on Saturdays.

I feel bad for a little bit because Malachi is her child and I remember how I felt when Cameron told me he was going to go for full custody. That shit eventually faded away because Nicki brought it all on herself, nobody told her stupid ass to come to my house drunk causing a ruckus.

“You don’t go to their meetups?”

“No, I don’t need to see that bitch. I’m trying to avoid stress not have the shit sitting right across from me.”

“Well I hope y’all get all that baby mama shit worked out. The kids are good right? I know you said Dyce was still acting different.”

“Yeah, that same funk he was in around Christmas time is back and its worse.”

Dyce and Darius’ fourth birthday is this weekend coming up and Dyce isn’t happy. He was fine up until a few days ago then his attitude flipped the script. He acted the same way around the Holidays. The closer it got to Christmas the worse his attitude got. I know it’s because his father isn’t here and I don’t know what to do about it because that’s not something I can fix.  

“You’re still having their birthday party here?”

“Yeah, Trouble’s mother and Alex are going to come over and help me decorate the house that morning while he takes them out to get haircuts and stuff.”

“What’s the theme?”

“Paw Patrol, i got somebody to dress up like the damn dogs to keep the kids occupied or whatever.  I let them both invite five people from their class to be there so it won’t just be family. It’s going to be really cute and annoying at the same time.”

“Aww, those are your babies you know you love spoiling them.”

“Spoil my ass, the most money I’m spending is going to be on decorations and that’s only because of how I am.” I don’t like for things to be half ass, if I’m going to do I’m going in for it. It was going to be like a damn Marvel fest in this bitch when I’m done.

“Hopefully it’ll have Dyce is a better mood.”

“I don’t know what to do about it. I know the hurt he feels about his dad being gone but he’s four years old. Is it weird that I didn’t expect it to hit him so hard?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s weird but some kids are more advanced than others. You’re finding the way he’s taking it weird because Darius isn’t acting the same way.”

“Well yeah, they’re the same age.”

“Yeah but they’re two totally different kids.  I’m not saying Darius is stupid because he’s smart too but Dyce is like another level of smart. How many 3 year olds talk and acts the way he does?”

“I just thought of it as him being too damn grown,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“No he’s smart so he knows what his father being dead means and it’s hurting him. Ooh and look just like you instead of just being hurt he’s turning it into anger.” She said then looked at me with a side eye.”

‘What? Why you looking at me like that?”

“I used to think Dyce was like Uncle Darius but now that I really pay attention I’m seeing that he’s just like you.”

“What?” I looked at her confused.

“Dyce acts just like you nigga, you heard me.”

“I don’t know about all of that.”

“Yes you do Dyce is like you, stubborn, mean, and short- tempered. Darius is just like Prophet, he doesn’t listen to no damn body with his hard headed ass but he’s a good kid.”

“Darnell shut up and just tell me what I’m supposed to about him and his attitude.”

“Talk to him, and I mean really talk to him Millz. Don’t think that because he’s only 3 that he doesn’t understand certain shit. That little boy is far from stupid, he’s smart and he understands the things going on around him. You better recognize that shit.”

***

Looking down at my side I smiled when I saw Karma with her arms wrapped about my leg. The rest of the kids were running around the living room having fun but she was off to the side. I knew it was only because Dyce and Darius were busy with their friends from school and Zaria wasn’t here yet.

It’s been a little over a month since Karma has officially moved in with us. I have custody right now and I plan on going for full adoption pretty soon. One thing about Karma is she’s really shy; it takes her a cool minute to warm up to people. Once she’s comfortable her personality really shines through. Karma literally has to be the sweetest little girl I’ve ever come in contact with and I always wonder where the hell that comes from because both of her birth parents were far from sweet.

Fortunately for me she has a good relationship with her brothers; she’s obsessed with both Malachi and Trouble. If she isn’t up under me she’s following Trouble around the house and he loves every minute of it.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“I want a hotdog,”

“Okay go in the kitchen and tell Siah to give you one.” She nodded then ran out the room.

“She is so cute,” Imani said while she held Malachi in her arms. ”What is a Siah though? Who is that?”

“Trouble, she can’t pronounce Messiah too correctly so she calls him Siah.” I answered her.

“Oh, what do Darius and Dyce call him?”

“His name, well Darius calls him by his name. Dyce hasn’t really been fucking with him too heavy.” I said while shaking my head.

“Why not?”

“He’s not Cameron,” I said simply.

Before Cameron’s death Dyce was fine around Trouble, he would talk to him and everything. After his dad was gone he distanced himself from Trouble; he rarely speaks to him at all and I know it’s because he’s still mourning the death of his father. I leave it alone for now because I understand but the moment his little ass crosses the line we’re going to have an issue.

“Aww poor baby, you need to talk to Dyce. That boy walks around looking depressed.”

“I know I’m going to handle it.” I told her just as the doorbell rang. I got up and walked out of my perfectly decorated living room and went to open the door.

“Hey munchkin,” I smiled when my eyes landed on Zaria. I got down as low as I could and hugged her.   Once I let her go she went running to the living room.

“You got a house full huh? It’s mad cars outside; we had to park around the corner.” Darnell said in a joking tone when she and Xavier walked in.

“Yeah which means I have a few of melanin-deficient people in here so keep it cool. I don’t need these bitches talking shit about me at PTA meetings and shit.” Dyce and Darius invited 10 kids from their class to the party so it was 10 sets of parents in my house right now. 5 out of those 10 were white which is weird because I’m not used to entertaining white folks I’m not making money off of. keeping their cool. As long as they kept it that way we’re good.

“I got you,”

“Where’s Trouble?”

“I put him on hotdog duty, as a matter of fact Xavier you can go help him. Please.” I smiled at him.

“I should let his ass do it by himself but I got you.” He started to walk towards the kitchen patting his pockets then stopped. “Shit I forgot my phone in the car I’ll be back then I’ll go help him.” He kissed Darnell’s cheek then went out the front door closing it behind him.

Darnell and I went into the living room where the other parents were sitting down talking among st each other.

“This is really cute; damn can you do Zaria’s birthday for me?” Darnell asked me as she looked around the living room.

“Or nah,” I answered.

“That’s messed up,” She shook her head at me.

“No it’s not. Oh we can do their parties together; Karma’s is a week before Zaria’s.”

“She’s a Leo too?”

“Yeah, it’ll be way easier that way instead of us both throwing big parties. We can just do one nice cute one; they’re only a year apart and joined at the hip already so I know they like the same things.

“Cool with me, less money for me to spend.”

“Cheap ass,” I chuckled.

“Millz,” I looked up to see it was Kason calling me. “Trouble said are you ready to give out cake?”             

“Yeah,” I looked over at Darius and the boys he was playing with but Dyce wasn’t with him.

“Is Dyce in the kitchen?”

“Nah, he never came in there.”

“Alright, tell him I’m ready but give me a minute.” I got up and went upstairs to see if he dipped off up there.

When I got to his and Darius’ bedroom I opened the door and saw him lying on his bed.

“Dyce,” I said his name but he didn’t move. I went over to the bed and turned him over. When I saw tears on his face I got extremely confused, he was just fine and playing downstairs.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I want my daddy,” He said in a low voice but I heard him loud and clear as if he screamed it at the top of his lungs. Honestly it hurt me because I can’t fix it, there’s nothing I can do about his dad not being here.

I pulled him onto my lap the best way I could despite my stomach poking out.

“I know you want your dad. I want my dad a lot of times too. You know what Uncle Nasir told me when I used to cry for mine?”

“What?”

“That he’s watching everything I do, and he wants to be happy. I know your dad wants you happy too, he wouldn’t want you sad and crying on your birthday.”

“Why is he in heaven?”

“He’s in heaven because a very bad man hurt him; he was too hurt to stay here so God took him back to Heaven with him.”

“Is the bad man going to hurt you too?”

“No, thanks to Messiah and your Uncle Vick he’s never going to hurt anybody ever again.” I answered him then kissed his forehead. “I know you miss your dad and I know it hurts your feelings that he’s not here but I promise it’s going to get better, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded his head. “Is Siah your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, I thought we talked about that already?” I asked with a laugh.

“Is he your husband?”

“No, but he probably will be one day if he plays his cards right.”

“Is he my new daddy? I don’t want a new one.”

“Dyce what are you talking about?”

“Dari said Siah is our new dad,”

“Is that why you’ve been acting funny? You think he’s trying to replace your father?” I asked, it wasn’t even really directed towards him; it was more so a rhetorical question. I figured that’s why he’s been distant from Trouble lately but he’s basically confirming it for me now.

Before I could say anything else the bedroom door closing caught our attention. We both looked up to see Trouble standing there.

Trouble

“How long have you been standing there?” Millz asked me when she and Dyce looked up.

“That doesn’t matter. Let me speak to him for a minute.”

Hearing him ask his mother if I was his new dad really put things in perspective for me. For the last few weeks he’s been acting different. He wasn’t really talking to me or coming near me period. I went in front of her and kneeled down so I was face to face with Dyce. I figured it was because of how he feels about his father so I never said anything; this whole thing just gave me the confirmation I needed.

“Go ahead and speak I’m not stopping you.”

“I mean as is you go downstairs and check on everything while I talk to him.” I could tell she wanted to fight me so she could be nosy but she was taking her ass downstairs.

“Millz, go downstairs.” I said again just to let her know I was dead serious. She took one look at my facial expression then nodded. She eased Dyce off her lap then I pulled her up from the bed.

“Don’t be up here all day,” she said before opening the room door and leaving out.

I sat on the bed then pulled Dyce in front of me so we were face to face. “Listen to me; I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take your father’s place because I’m not. You have a father and he loved you very much; I love your mother and a big part of loving her means loving her children. I’m not your dad, you don’t have to call me dad if you don’t want to but I am going to be here for you, your brother and sister. Okay?”

He nodded looking me straight in my eyes. It was fucking with me a little bit because I didn’t know if he was trying to see if I was serious or if he was the one trying to send a message.

“We good? You alright now?”

“Yeah, we good.” I held my fist out for a pound and he gave me one. I kissed his forehead then stood up.

“Alright come on so you can have some birthday cake.”

“Can I open my presents?” He asked as we walked out of his room.

“After everybody is done with their cake it’s fine with me.”

We went down to the living room with everybody else. Millz lit the candles and turned off the lights so everybody could sing happy birthday to the boys.

After giving out cake I wanted to get to these gifts so these kids could get the fuck out of my house before that cake fully kicks in and they tear some shit up.

***

“Thanks for helping me cleaning up man, I appreciate it.” I told Xavier when we got done getting the living room back to normal. Everyone was long gone but he stayed back to help me clean up.

“It’s nothing; I knew you weren’t going to let Millz clean shit up so I figured I could help while Darnell kept her busy.” He told me.

“Is this really life man?” I asked with a laugh. “I’m living with a woman and four kids with another one on the way.”

He laughed shaking his head. “Aye sometimes life catches you off guard. Look at me; I’ll be a married man come next year.”

“Shit if things work out the way they’re supposed to I’m going to be right behind you.”

“I’m happy you two niggas finally stopped playing, dramatic as a muthafucka but liked each other that whole damn time.”

“Everybody can’t be you and Darnell man,” I said thinking back on how Xavier and Darnell got together. It’s actually finny because he was on her from day 1. I vividly remember him telling her she was going to be his wife, and his ass was right.

“I wasn’t about to play with that girl, I knew what I wanted and went for it. It took you a minute but you got it together so that’s all that matters.”

“You right about that.”

“I’m about to be outta here, I know Z upstairs knocked out.”

“Aight, how’s the thing you put in the basement?”

“Cool, I checked on it a minute ago. Darnell aint said shit to her either so you’re good.”

“Good lookin’ man,” We slapped hands then he went upstairs to get Darnell and Zaria. When they came back down he was carrying a sleeping Zaria in his arms and Darnell was behind him yawning like she had a long day or some shit.

Once they were gone I went upstairs to the bedroom where Millz was sitting up in the bed on her laptop.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“Nothing, I’m just looking at some of these pictures. You’re done cleaning up?”

“Yeah but I got something for you.”

“Something for me?”

‘Yeah, well it’s partly for you and partly for the kids. I’ll be right back.” I went down to my man cave and went over to the cage and unlocked it.

“You ready to surprise your new mama?” I said to the all blue nose pit bull puppy I was holding. “I hope she likes you and don’t kick your ass out.” I went back upstairs but stopped in the hallway right by our room door.

Taking her ring from my pocket I hooked it on his dog collar then put him down. I opened the door just enough to let him inside and give me room to peek.

“What the fuck?” I heard Millz say after a few seconds of silence. “Fuck did a damn dog come from?” She got up off the bed went over to the dog and picked it up. She grabbed the collar and when she touched the ring and looked at it her mouth dropped so I took that as my cue to walk in.

Millz looked up at me with her mouth still wide open as I walked up to her. “Close your mouth baby.” I grabbed the ring off the dog collar, put him down then looked down into her eyes. “I love you, I love the way you take care of my son, I love the way you take care of your kids and I love them with everything in me. I respect you, I respect the woman you’ve grown into and I want you to be the one I spend the rest of my life with so,” I went down on one knee grabbing her left hand. “Will you marry me fat mama?” I asked making us both laugh.

“You get on my nerves,” she laughed wiping the tears from her face. “Yes I’ll marry you.” I slid the ring on her finger then stood up and kissed her on the lips. “You ready to become Mrs. Garnett?”

“Yeah I guess I ‘m ready for that,” she said with a big smile on her face. “I love you,”

“I love you too.”

[lifeafterten]

RtN 02: Sept 02 -Sept 12; Get Me the FUCK Outta Here

I’ve been here for days. Who the fuck stays in the hospital for days?... Fucked up people. And I’m in Fucked-Upville-- Population (points to self) this mother fucker. 

Okay. Okay. I’m turning the drama down.  Honestly though... I’ve been here a fucking while. I have an I.V. tube in each arm, one for fluids, because I’m perpetually dehydrated, the other is for the antibiotics that don’t seem to be working, because I still feel like death. I have to often lay in awkward positions so I don’t tangle myself and make the machines go off. So. Much. Beeping. And I swear to Christ, if they come at you with a little blue bag and claim it’s potassium... RUN--Fucking run, because once they hook your ass up to that shit you’ll feel like they’re injecting fire into your veins and you can’t scream because let’s face it: you’re too damn tired, so you settle for some weird case of facial Tourettes in the form of wincing and hissing. And they turn the drip down enough for the fire to feel like a sting... and you feel that effervescent sting until it’s done. It’s “supposed” to take 30 minutes-- they say. But my pansy ass can’t take the heat so the slowed down version makes it last at least an hour and some change. I pray I’m not stubborn enough today to take the morphine.  Why won’t you take the morphine, Ashley? I’ll fucking tell you why-- I have control issues.  And the morphine feels too fucking good that I need the pain to remind me that I’m still alive and to gauge between dream and reality.

At this point I’m agitated (by pain and impatience). I’ve been stuck by damned needled so many times, because of all the bloodletting I’ve been doing.  These assholes have been taking my life source (no, not coffee, you freak) twice a day. Oh, I’m sorry, they’ve been taking my “blood cultures” twice a day.

Why? They don’t say. They tell me to ask my doctor. My doctor is a pussy.  Soft spoken; pussy footing fucking pussy, who can’t give me a straight answer.

I dismiss my doctor more than a person dismisses alcoholism. Day drinking is not a bad thing. Who cares if it’s barely noon and you’ve been drinking since 9. ... Not speaking from experience-- Anyway!

I dismissed my doctor a lot. I couldn’t help it. I’ve been laying up in this bitch for weeks and you can’t give me some indication of what’s going on; let alone a time frame of when I’ll be able to go home-- on top of a mother fucking reason why I’m being kept in here for so damn long? Yeah. Fuck that shit. Dismissed, mother fucker. I have no fucks to give for useless asshats. Come talk to me when you can tell me what the fuck’s up. 

I’ve been moved to three or four rooms. From the ER bed to Surgery... Then to another room in Surgery... to the Telemetry ward, because my heart rate was too high-- which honestly I’m not surprised... I’ve been on permanent pissed the hell off for quite some time now.  They take my vitals every 30 minutes.  I’ve been counting because I literally have nothing else to do, besides... I only feel that it’s fair that I monitor them while they monitor me. But mostly it’s because I’m bored and there’s nothing on TV.  By now I’ve refused visitors.  I’ve dodged death a couple times.

Homicide via Mio overdose: Backstory: I asked for Mio, because they kept saying I was dehydrated and I thought I needed electrolytes like a muh’fug, so when my friend Kris came by (note she had no idea what Mio was let alone how to use it) and had dumped an entire bottle of Mio (24 servings) into my water jug (16 - 24 oz tops). I take one sip of it and I thought I was gonna die. Chest was on fire. My machines were going crazy, because I was coughing my lungs out and poor Kris is panicked and distraught. Its hard to convey you’re okay if you’re croaking like you’ve been smoking for about 300 years and your vision is obscured by tears. Sidenote: The incident still brings her to tears to this day, she feels so bad. Personally, I think it’s adorable and funny... Now, at the time...? Owie.

Suicide via Mother doth Love too much: I love my mother. I do. I love my entire family. But they like to hover and it was stifling. They’re looking at me with worried eyes when they think I’m asleep and I get it.  It doesn’t look good, kid.  My sister? God love her, she tries to keep the worry and her tears in check because she knows I don’t know how to handle them.  My Dad? Shit, my dad knows what’s up. He knows I’m gonna handle my shit the only way I know how. On my own terms. This is why I’m a daddy’s girl. My brother and sister in law on the other hand? My bother spilled water down the front of my gown (had to change that shit. not fun) and his wife, in her efforts to break my fever, stuffed my fresh new gown with ice packs.. And when I say ice packs, I mean latex gloves filled with ice stuffed in my gown. Stuffed. In. My. Fucking. Gown. That’s it-- I’ve had it! Everyone’s banned.

And it’s also hard to put on a tough front when all I wanna do is cry, but I end up just being angry instead.

The only human interaction I had is when the nurses are taking my blood, or my vitals, or switching my IV bags, or helping me to the bathroom to do bathroom things, or giving me sponge baths because I’m too weak to get out of bed, or shooting morphine into my body to ease my torment; or shoving pills down my fucking throat because nothing is fucking working. I’m still getting fevers out of nowhere.  People are coming in and out every morning to lift my gown up (they do it so much they don’t even ask anymore. A brief thought of charging them crosses my mind, and I allow a small giggle. Because it’s silly, because I’m glad I still had somewhat of a sense of humor.) Still, I think my cooter deserves some ounce of respect. Women’s lib and all that crap. I’ve turned this part of the day into a game (I’m SO fucking bored). I like to spot the face tightening moment when they assess whatever the fuck is going on with my leg (I don’t know. I haven’t seen... I don’t want to see yet). 

It’s fun for me, because they’re medical professionals-- they’re supposed to be used to this kind of thing. But the face tightening? To me that’s a victory. That just means they have to school their expressions to indifference so as to not alarm me. Ah, bed side manner.  They’re so sweet. But I know just by their non-expressions that it looks fucked up. I have to look at the small details; read between the lines of what they’re not telling me.  I’d be in the dark otherwise. What are they not telling me? I know they’re testing for something... But I don’t know what they’re testing for. I stamp down fear, because I don’t have enough data to panic.

My dreams are getting scarier, because of the morphine. No more morphine, I promise myself. Vicodin only.  Yeah, that seems safer. The nurses, I’ve learned, just need someone to listen to them. Since I can’t get a decent night’s sleep because they’re fucking coming in every 15 to 30 minutes all day, every day, all the fucking time... Why the fuck not? I got nowhere else to be. I seem to have opened Pandora’s Box, because it’s 3am and I’m giving life advice to Agnes who has a very rebellious son, whom I point out is 16 years old and he’s going through a phase, it doesn’t mean she’s a bad mother.  Which I reminds me that I need to tell Doris who’s part of the Day crew that Agnes is off on Wednesdays too and that they should hangout together, because I think they would get along. I make a mental note to pass Agnes’ number to Doris later. I really should start charging... This pro bono shit aint working out. 

During my hospital stay I’ve managed the following:

Make only 4 nurse assistants cry

Befriend most if not all the Filipino nurses (they gave me all the apple sauce I wanted)

Make that one stern Indian Night Nurse smile (she gave me yogurt and bananas every time she was on shift)

Counsel only 5 to 6 nurses, mostly 5.. the 6th one kinda got weird. Didn’t take whatever she gave me.

Snob my doctor almost every day. 

Made my main nurse laugh because she thinks I’m a riot. 

Days later it was time for me to go home. I knew this for damned sure.  I saw so many specialists from an infectious disease doctor to a surgeon. I was so fucking bloated from all the fluids they were trying to fill me with that they could barely find veins to stab to get their precious blood cultures from. 

I also decided that with my body like this the Mitchelin tire man was my cousin.

Sidenote: To hell with the Infectious Disease doctor. That heifer made me lay on my side for two fucking days straight. Fat load that shit did for me. With all the extra fluids in my body, it just shifted to one side. All it gave me was a backache and lopsided boobs... and some fucking fluid in my lungs. Fucking devil woman. I got a fucked up leg, I’m the size of a float during the Macy’s Day Parade, and now I got lopsided tits. It’s funny... now. At the time? Not so much. It was September 12.  I had broken out in a rash due to an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics. (Let’s just add that to the list of whatever the fuck else is wrong with my body, shall we?) My “doctor” (doesn’t deserve the title nor respect. Sorry not sorry) was trying to get me to stay a few more days. I’ve had quite enough. I told him to get the discharge papers ready. I’m leaving. My fevers were gone. My leg wasn’t draining so badly anymore (ew, gross. sorry) I felt fine. Despite me constantly checking my hands so they don’t try to scrape my skin off. Fucking hell I was so itchy. I didn’t need to be in here. That’s when the good doctor decided to divulge that I hurt his feelings and that I was his least favorite patient. (Boo freakity hoo.) But I was a good girl and let him talk, said all the appropriate things. ... He’s still a pussy.  He was glad to be rid of me and the feeling was more than fucking mutual. I did not tell him to get fucked. I did not tell him to suck my dick. I did not flick him off. I did not throw shit at him. I was rather proud of myself. I showed great restraint.  But I did point out that just because he had the “MD” attached to his name, does not mean automatic respect. Respect is earned Dr. Pussy foot.  I signed the paperwork with relish. Jessie came to pick me up and I was whisked off to spend my mandatory (couldn’t argue my way outta that one) bed rest at the Joseph’s.  I’m so tired of laying down. TBC...