#if only gameplay would let me become a sequencer

[viric-dreams]

Born in a Welsh mining town to a working class family, Euros was determined to escape the life set before him and to scrabble up the societal ranks, however possible. He had no desire to spend his life underground.

As soon as he was able, he ran away to London to try to make a new life for himself. London, however, was less than kind to a boy from the valleys, with a strange lilt to his imperfect English. He spent his nights in pubs near the harbour, listening in and imitating the sailors occupying them. At the age of thirteen, he signed on with the Royal Navy, listing his name as Elias Roberts and gaining the rank of cabin boy. He grew particularly fond of the officer he served, one of the first to treat him like the other English boys. Elias decided that he would follow this officer to the ends of the earth, should he be asked.

And then London fell.

Elias’ devotion never wavered. Not even when his officer split from the Admiralty, renaming himself The Commodore. Elias sailed with him to their new port of call, the Grand Geode, and dutifully helped to build the Dawn Machine, embracing the New Sequence.

Decades passed in the Neath. Then one day, the Commodore called him into his office. He had a task for Lieutenant Roberts: He should sail to London and infiltrate a group of revolutionaries trying to bring about the Liberation of Night. With the group’s name and his alias scrawled onto a piece of paper, he took to zee.

London, however, had changed much since his departure decades before. Its denizens were not the cheerful, smiling sort he was used to back at his port of call. It wasn’t long before Elias found himself set upon by a group of criminals, intent on robbery. In the scuffle, however, his dark glasses broke, revealing his dazzling golden eyes. The next thing he knew he had a bag over his head.

He woke up bound in a Benthic basement laboratory, half a dozen scientists watching him intently. He was a Sequencer, they said, clearly controlled by a master he was forced to serve against his will. But they had a cure—one that would free him from his slavish dedication to the sun the sun the sun the sun the sun the sun the s—

Nicholas Nite came to in an alley in Ladybones Road with nothing but a scrap of paper with what he presumed was his name, and an address.

Nicholas followed the address to what turned out to be the meeting place of a group of anarchists. These revolutionaries, he’d learned, were set on the Liberation of Night. Enraptured by their words, Nicholas devoted himself to the cause. At the recommendation of one of his newfound colleagues, he found an inn for the night and settled down to his new role.

Elias woke up with no memory of why he was in London.

There is no set time or indication of what might bring about the change. Usually Elias/Nicholas will feel poorly, and have to excuse himself. Neither man is aware of the other’s identity or activities.

Whilst they both share a deep devotion for the cause in which they believe, Nicholas is more likely to look outside of the box or to bend the rules to achieve his goals. He is unconcerned with decorum. Whereas Elias initially appears far more cheerful and therefore approachable, Nicholas is by far the politer of the two, more likely to kindly talk his way through a solution, rather than Sequence-sanctioned force. And whereas Elias is perfectly content to stand in the proverbial shadow of the Dawn Machine, Nicholas has a bit of a showmanship streak, at least to his fellow revolutionaries.

Bonus:

Nicholas spent several months haunted by mysterious words lurking in the back of his mind. The word he was seeking would be lost, suddenly replaced by foreign consonants. He eventually went to his fellow anarchists with this information, concerned that between this and all of his missing time, that the Correspondence had somehow infected him and that he was losing his mind. Instead, one of his associates simply laughed. “Fy mrawd yng Nghrist, siwd wyt ti ddim yn gwybod bo ti’n Gymro?”

[withered-blossoms]

➠LAY YOUR GAZE UPON ME: PROLOGUE

A/N: Banners by @cafekitsune. SPOILERS FOR GAME CONTENT. This is gonna be a series, so buckle up. Yes, this is a new writing style that I am experimenting with. Think of it as an experiment to see how patient my readers are, if you will. The chapters will be released in the sequence of the brothers’ birth orders. As for the dateables and finally the new undateables, I'll consider giving them their own chapters as well once I've familiarised myself with their character. As usual, if Luke's chapter is written, it will be strictly platonic. Anyways, enjoy the prologue!

What makes you think that the world is exactly how you see it?

What makes you so sure that the truth is composed of what your eyes send to your brain?

Dear little human, it will do you only good and no bad to remember that nothing is definite. Life is full of changes at every corner. Those seemingly set now may very well fade away later. Anything can turn into sand the moment your eyes land on another object.

This concept applies to fictional works as well. Who is to say that your favourite characters do not exist? How can you all, as measly humans, guarantee that a character is fictional?

Give it some thought, my precious little mortal. How do you know for sure that the characters you make up are not memories of loved ones from the past? Who can guarantee that the tragic backstories you “came up” with are not the tales that your beloved partner, romantic or platonic, divulged to you, perhaps under a starry night with the breeze gently brushing against your cheeks?

I suppose I should apologise for making you waste your time on the contemplation of such matters. As beings with a limited lifespan, it would most likely be better for you to bring those long-forgotten memories back to life once again, while you still have the chance to. Grant them, bless them, gift them, breathe life into them once more, so that they may live under your loving gaze.

Only in your memories will they truly live.

So boldly tell their tales. Spread the word, invest time into their “creation” and pen out the details personally.

Because this is the only way they can make you remember them again.

…….

Apologies become meaningless when they are spilled repeatedly from one’s lips. To make it up to you, let me direct your attention to the new game in the market. I’ll be sure to give you, my dear little lamb, an unforgettable tour. Think of this as a little gift from me for the time you wasted trying to understand my delusion.

Obey Me’s the name, and your memory’s the game.

Those advertisements with weird dialogues, game characters with characteristic hair colours and ridiculous “choices” certainly do ring a bell, don’t they? It makes me wonder why the developers choose that specific advertising style when the real gameplay is nothing of that sort. Or well, its quality is a lot higher.

God, even Solomon can’t give them reliable advice when to comes to humans huh? Where is Leviathan when we need him to roast the choices made by the others on the committee?

Come now little lamb. All you need to do is to push that download button and you’ll be able to see who I’m referring to again. You’ve got plenty of storage after all; it wouldn’t be wise to lie to my face now, would it?

So that’s what you do. Download the game, and immerse yourself in its plot. Weren’t expecting for “your vessel” to be kidn– invited and whisked away, pardon me, to Hell on the first episode now did you? Well, it would seem that the darling lamb does not have a choice, since you were summoned under the personal orders of the heir apparent after all. Just go along with the flow, won’t you? They won’t harm a single hair on your head. You have the word of the first-born, the Avatar of Pride, Lucifer, as he is named. Besides, you’re under the protection of Diavolo and by extension, Barbatos, steward of the Crown Prince who you will meet later on. Their names sound familiar? You must be imagining things; just ignore that feeling of déjà vu. The human mind can be incredibly deceitful after all, so see to it that you fall not for its traps.

As we go down memory lane the storylines, you are introduced to the brothers one-by-one. Some are currently present, some are not. Worry not though, eventually you’ll get to know them again. To sum it up for your sheepy brain, you’ll be living with the seven Lords of Hell, who serve the Crown Prince. We have Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor. Find it hard to remember? It’s alright, perhaps you’ve already known it before my introduction. You just have to dig a little deeper and –

Alright alright, I’ll take your word for it and stop squawking. After all, I’m just a little crow, what would this bird-brain know?

[lulu2992]

My (spoiler-free) opinion on Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix

It was very good.

Seriously, I enjoyed it a lot! This “remix”, as the name suggests, is basically a big mashup of Ubisoft franchises, in a style that resembles Japanese animation (but by a French studio), and with a hint of arcade games. Some names, faces, or events may be familiar, but the story is set in 1992 in its own world with its own rules and people, so don’t expect anything or anyone to be exactly the same as what you’re used to.

For example, among the existing characters featured in Captain Laserhawk, we have Pagan Min, who still wears pink, has bleached hair and eyebrows, and is a villain, but isn’t a dictator, doesn’t seem to have the same backstory, and is more exuberant and carefree than he is in Far Cry 4 (he reminds me more of the young version of him we see in the Control DLC). Marcus Holloway, on the contrary, is older and more serious than his canonical Watch Dogs 2 self, but he’s still part of the series’ version of DedSec.

Visually speaking, it’s very rich, and the animation manages to be simultaneously “simple” (because of the low frame rate) and impressive. Sometimes, the show temporarily becomes a retro game, which I thought was really cool, not to mention a clever way to move the story forward. Not only are those “gameplay sequences” very well done and look like actual games, but various styles are also represented (platformers, shooters, even a dating simulator), so they really are a nice, original touch.

The soundtrack is reminiscent of the music we could hear in Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, and I don’t have much to say about it except that it was good and worked well!

As for the story, it was well-written and engaging; I watched the show in one sitting and never got bored. There’s at least one plot twist in each of the six episodes, and while the series is inspired by and references a lot of existing pieces of media, it still feels unique and manages not to fall into easy tropes and clichés. It’s funny, but it knows how to be sad. It’s colorful, but it can get really dark. It’s animated fiction, but it also tackles very real issues. Captain Laserhawk does it all, at it does it well. It’s made for an adult audience, so it contains violence, blood, drugs, vulgar language, nudity, and (implied) sex. That said, those mature elements, much like everything in the series, are well-dosed and don’t feel gratuitous, in my opinion. It’s appropriately inappropriate, I would say.

In general, I thought the actors were good and that the characters were compelling. My favorite is probably Bullfrog because he has some great scenes and I think he encompasses all aspects of the show: he’s here for comic relief but has solemn moments, he’s a cute cartoonish frog but also a skilled Assassin, etc. On a side note, as a French person, I really appreciate that his accent, although very strong, is real and not a caricatural imitation. Even when he lets out things like “ok, d’accord”, “et merde”, or even just “oui”, it sounds spontaneous and natural.

In conclusion, Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix is great. Both esthetically and narratively, it’s super creative, there’s always something happening, and you’re constantly surprised. This show is a lot but, strangely, it’s never too much. I think it’s obvious by now, but I recommend watching it (if you’re over 18... or just 16 in my country for some reason), even if you’ve never played a single Ubisoft game in your life and just want to see a good animated series. In the end, the thing I dislike most about it is that... there aren’t more episodes!

[summerlycoris]

Actually yeah i wanna talk more about this.

So if Chica reported to Vanessa after Gregory gets banned from daycare that 1. She saw Gregory hop into Freddy's stomach hatch and 2. That they seem to be working togerher, it could fix tne whole showtime sequence from 2-4am.

Let me explain.

This actually starts at 1am, but 1am-2am doesnt need to change much. Regardless of which route you take, Gregory ends up seperated from Freddy. During this time, Vanessa takes Freddy down to the maintenance area downstairs, and locks him into the tube, just like she does later on in the regular story.

How does Vanessa do this? She could lie to him that she has a battery upgrade to install. Freddy doesnt have much of a reason not to trust her at this point- except Gregory's word. And while he's willing to help Gregory, he does try to convince him that Vanessa could help him earlier.

Or she could just wait for the 2am recharge cycle and send Moon to drag him away, while shes dealing with Gregory.

Heck, she could even send an alert out to any animatronics that arent currently on Gregory's tail to come help her capture Freddy. That would be dramatic, and could lead to some interesting character developement from Freddy, seeing his friends take him down earlier in the story.

Gregory probably realises halfway through El Chips or Loading Dock that somethings happened to Freddy. He hears it happen over the fazwatch, or just realizes Freddy isn't answering anymore. FORESHADOWING!

Anyway, White Woman Jumpscare happens as normal. Gregory manages to get in contact with Freddy again in the elevator, miraculously. And Freddy explains- he's stuck in the maintenance tube, and can't help Gregory. Unless Gregory can help him, first.

Backstage can mostly continue as normal, except Freddy doesnt stack some boxes on top of a bridge, before somehow collapsing under it lol. The boxes are just left there by staff or something. The only thing that really needs to change is the E Room (backstage office) because, well, Freddy isn't there to save Gregory.

Instead, Vanessa shows up. Not to save Gregory, but to catch him again. (At least, if he succeeds. If he runs out of time to clear the shutdown or whatever the hell hes doing in there instead of opening doors, Vanny kills him.) And Gregory has to escape Vanessa in a chase sequence. The chase sequence would lead him through to the Atrium, where he gets more advice from Freddy.

OR- Vanny does show up, regardless of whether he wins or looses. But heres the kicker!

She breaks through the fucking window. Like it's implied was cut from the backstage office. Coolest shit ever, and now Gregory has to escape through the window she broke, scale the sides of the backstage office until he can get down into the cut backstage area and find a way to the atrium. Meanwhile, Vanny is hunting him down.

Regardless of options, he finds a way to hide and disorientate Vanessa/Vanny, who lose track of him. And he ends up in the Atrium. Apologizing to Freddy for not getting the elevator working, so that he could get downstairs to free him. But he did get the showtime disk...

Showtime continues as usual. Except Freddy isnt there for the moon segment. Gregory just hunkers down in a recharge station. Could include an interesting cutscene, where he looks up to see Moon trying to pry open the recharge station and nearly getting inside, before the lights come back on.

Endos are as usual. Though Sun/Moon could report theyd seen Gregory downstairs in the maintence hallways, leading to Vanessa becoming a problem during endos, if you want to switch up the endos gameplay.

Heck, if you believe Notarealname Notatall (and I do.) This could lead into a Moon section, where it's his boss battle- defeat Moon, and you get the battery upgrade that Vanessa tricked Freddy into thinking she had earlier.

Vanessas dialogue to Freddy after endos would need to change. She's had like 2 hours to figure out that Gregory is... Gregory. Its not new info to her anymore. Shed probably just be venting to him about her failing to catch him, and blaming his interference, wondering out loud how this kid always knows exactly where to go... 'Freddy you dont happen to have anything to do with that, do you?' Leading into threats to dismantle him, once she finds that kid.

Anyway now i've exorcised those particular brainworms. This would, in my mind at least, make more sense than showtime and backstage currently make.

It means we lose the sweet section of Freddy ssving Gregory from the backstage office. But there could be a scene like that later in the game- maybe after Chica or Monty's shattering, he shows up to help Gregory get away (by opening the gate from the silo, or breaking the fence keeping Gregory from Monty Golf, as examples. Someone who has more beain can probably figure out something cool for these segments.)

But it also means we get to see Vanessa and Vanny take a more proactive role in apprehending Gregory- they're explicitly trying to prevent Gregory from having an ally who can help him! And they're chasing him down a lot more than in regular showtime.

It also shows the lengths Gregory will go to help Freddy. He still doesnt know Freddy very well at the start of the sequence- and might justify doing this as self interest- without Freddy, he's toast! But over time he's doing this not just for his own sake, but for Freddy's sake. He could feel guilty over Freddy being taken away, because it was only through Chica's report that it happened. He could just like Freddy and not want him to get hurt by Vanessa or his friends anymore.

Anyway, I'm done. Bye!

[aces-and-angels]

final thoughts on the ilw finale: jocelyn edition (ch 23 spoilers below) @itlivesproject

---

I will admit that Jocelyn’s post took a bit more time for me to complete. After doing several deep dives, I found myself unable to figure out what exactly I wanted to say about her conclusion. It was also my first real attempt at tackling an interpretation of a Shadow ending. Tying that in with how I think it works with Jocelyn and Rowan’s story... needless to say, I felt somewhat overwhelmed lol.

It is inevitable that the end to a beloved story will feel bittersweet. The urge to hang on to the journey, to delay reading that final line before you’re forced to close the book once and for all- that’s natural. To quote power!Rowan: 

It hurts to say goodbye. And with the end of ILW, we as players are left to deal with more than a few of them. That being said, I can understand why it is difficult for people to pursue the Shadow path + have it be their farewell for the characters they grew to love so dearly. But beyond that pain lies a story that is as beautiful as it is tragic. One that I think is worth exploring. 

As always, gotta flaunt the stats 😎

If you’ve been following along with my other posts, you know that my Jocelyn route was the only one to ‘organically’ achieve a Shadow ending. After spending some time to marinate in my thoughts, I realized that having Jocelyn’s path end this way works incredibly well, narratively speaking, when paired with Rowan’s journey to becoming one with the Power. 

However you play as Rowan impacts everyone they interact with throughout the series. @professor-abeloved ​did a wonderful job explaining the game’s mechanics. For anyone interested, you can read their full post here. To quickly summarize, ILW goes above and beyond with ensuring that the choices you make matter by varying the difficulty of raising a character’s nerve/relationship score. This aspect alone adds more depth for the gang and makes achieving a successful relationship with them far more rewarding. 

Jocelyn has a unique element to her character progression throughout the game. Several moments arise where players are met with a choice to have MC (ILITW and ILW) forgive Jocelyn for her past actions. Whether you choose to have these characters forgive her is entirely up to you. I should note that upon entering ILW, I only had a vague impression of the events in ILITW and ILB from my original gameplay years ago. Maybe that’s why it was easier for me to let these characters choose to forgive Joss for her less than stellar past. Others may not share the same sentiment, and that’s totally valid. ILW does a good job addressing these concerns players may have with Jocelyn. However, whether these characters forgive her isn’t what I want to focus on. What matters to me: By the end of ILW, can Jocelyn forgive herself? Players get that answer depending on her outcome after her nightmare sequence. The theme of self-acceptance is ever-present in Jocelyn’s arc. Rowan’s as well. Their issues may differ, but the root of the matter is the same. 

Upfront and rough around the edges- this is how Rowan first meets Jocelyn. Her abrasive attitude may turn people away, but it doesn’t take long after their initial meeting for Ro to come to this conclusion:

Rowan: If you think you deserve to be punished for anything, you don’t.

Jocelyn: Hmph. You say that like you know me. 

Rowan: I do know you. You’re a protector. I know you don’t want to admit it, but you keep us safe.

A protector- that is Jocelyn’s core essence. To quote a line from her Blood route ending:

Jocelyn: After everything with Cody, after everything I did, who I was, I convinced myself I didn’t deserve to live my own life. To fully move on from the Power. I didn’t deserve to be happy. 

Jocelyn’s self-sacrificing nature is a key component to her motives throughout the series. She is someone who is willing to cross any line necessary if it means that no one else would get hurt. An over-correction for the pain she has caused others. Rowan’s choice to merge with the Power is the ultimate sacrifice. They give up every earthly tether- their body, their friends, everyone, and everything that they grew to love- forever. But in Rowan’s case, their sacrifice doesn’t come from a place of self-hatred, but rather self-love. If returning to the Power is Rowan’s greatest desire, then their merge with it is a glorious experience. Something that just innately feels right. 

Rowan: I am the Power. I used to think that I was just a regular person, but ever since I learned my origins -- how I was created -- I know that’s just not true.

Loha: Interesting response. You do not feel human? You do not have desires to live as a human?

Rowan: All I want is to protect the people I care about. But once that’s taken care of... no. I don’t think I could live as a human. If I survive today, I want to continue learning about the Power. I want to continue protecting people from it.

...

Rowan: I want to go back to the Power, to finally belong, and if doing so protects the world I love and the people in it, then why would I choose anything else?

What happens when two people who are hellbent on saving the world fall in love with each other? Turns out, one of them is gonna save it. 

Along with choosing to have Rowan be forever separated from everyone they’ve ever grown to love (such a fun time lol), there’s also a choice on whether to leave a gate open between the world and the Power dimension. In the end, I chose to keep the gate open. While there is the possibility of another Matthias-like situation arising, Rowan leaving some tie to the Power on Earth makes sense when viewed through the lens of having a romantic relationship with Jocelyn. 

Rowan: The Power is beautiful and has blessed this world in many ways. I believe the two dimensions can coexist. We shouldn’t lose its goodness just because of one horrible person.

The world is inherently flawed. Even if Rowan were to cut its ties to the Power, it won’t solve all its problems. There will still be those who suffer. Injustices from the cruelty of man. So why leave the gate open? Why not eliminate at least one of the world’s many problems? The answer is simple: love

I don’t think it’s too cheesy to say that love is the answer. It’s love that brings Jocelyn and Rowan together- that helps Jocelyn grow to be a better person. It’s their love that makes their last goodbye so damn painful. And it’s love that allows Ro to think that while there is darkness in the world, there’s also light.

Rowan: You’re worthy of friendship and love and compassion. Never forget that. 

Jocelyn: I won’t. 

The world Rowan grew to love was one tied to the Power. In that world, they found someone flawed, but beautiful. Fierce and brave. They saw the good in the bad and loved her with everything they had- so much that they ended up saving the world for her. Rowan enters the Power realm knowing that there will be people like Jocelyn to protect the world long after they’ve gone. We leave Jocelyn sitting alone on the same Ferris wheel she rode with Rowan (happier times 😭)

Jocelyn: You know what makes you a real asshole? The fact that you made me want to be better. I... I want to... be kind. And you’d say that it wasn’t you, you just gave me a push but... I know it’s you, at least a little, because I was terrified of you, terrified enough to want to kill you, and you... you made me want to be kind to you.

Rowan leaves the world in a better state than when they found it- a protector’s dream. They help Jocelyn realize that she is worthy of greater things, capable of being a good person. What a poignant end for ILW’s resident badass. 

---

Blood Route: 

Jocelyn: I think the only person you need to worry about right now is you. You have some serious baggage, and you should deal with it the way that’s best for you. It’s okay to put yourself first, Rowan.

Having Jocelyn say this by the end is a testament to her growth throughout the series. It’s wonderful to see her helping Rowan the same way they helped her. I fear these two, esp. with the nature of their characters, will both have a lingering case of hero’s guilt by the end of this route- always thinking that there is more that could’ve been done. However, they will have each other to rely on to help them continue to live for themselves, not others. 

Mixed Route: 

In terms of being able to align with an LI with this route, Jocelyn wins as she is the only one out of the gang who expresses any desire to stay in Westchester. If Rowan doesn’t romance her, she is guaranteed to do so. My initial fear of pursuing a Mixed route stems from Joss’ motivations for staying in Westchester in her Blood route. She admits that she feels like she can’t move on from the Power. That she has to stay to fix the wrongs she’s caused. Thankfully, my concerns were addressed with this line alone:

Jocelyn: You’re right. I deserve to be happy. I can choose the kind of life I live, whether that’s to keep fighting or choose something different. If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I could have seen that.

Not to be witty, but giving Jocelyn the power to decide how she lives the rest of her life is *chef’s kiss* immaculate. Her motives, once clouded by guilt and fear, are now of her own volition. Seeing that level of self-assurance from her by the end of the series is nothing short of amazing. 

---

And now for some good ol’ fashioned keyboard smashing:

Joss’ love language: linking pinkies 😭

Joss x Abel are BFFs confirmed pt 2 🎉🎉

I’m telling yall if you haven’t played the non-nsfw scenes in your LIs epilogue- go out and play them- I love seeing the little in-between moments with them

Alright now that I have seen everything- I get why we had Ro give a cake to Abel. It makes up for the fact that we can’t see Moss in his route LMAOO

Anyways, back to Jocelyn

I love her

so much

her spice scene: 5 stars 

Ro worshipping her scars- plsss my heart can’t take it 

“I’ve been called hot or sexy before, but I’ve never really felt beautiful. Not until you.”

COME ON 

imma leave now before I ramble any further 

[chromonym]

hi

wanna write for a while about something you love? or just find interesting? it'd be fun to read

genuinely difficult to decide what to talk about bc i have so many things uhhhhhhhh let’s do OneShot. i’ll try to avoid spoilers for this first bit.

OneShot is one of, if not my absolute, favourite games of all time. the story can and will absolutely break you, and even though it’s been years since i’ve played it i still miss Niko (the main character).

the gameplay itself is… eh, let’s be real, it’s an rpgmaker game with no combat. at the very least there are some quite interesting puzzles - nothing overly difficult, but their main purpose isn’t that. they serve to immerse you (for want of a better word) in the game.

the immersion and the story are the absolute highlights, although again ‘immersion’ might be the wrong word to use. i’m trying to word this without spoilers in case you or anyone else reading this hasn’t played the game, but you’ll be able to tell within the first few minutes of gameplay what i’m talking about. for similar reasons, i’d recommend the steam version over the console version (‘world machine edition’) despite the latter having quite a few quality of life improvements.

the story, aided by the ‘immersion’, can and will make you cry. i played the game after watching a playthrough (something that i would strongly recommend against!), and i still cried over it. it’s pretty simple, your job is to guide Niko to the centre of the world of OneShot to replace its “sun”, a giant lightbulb. well, okay it’s not really that simple there’s some other things that become apparent right near the end. :)

also, the Solstice route (think of it as a new game plus) will ruin you emotionally in a completely different way! if you haven’t played it yet, say hi to Rue and TWM for me.

oh also the music is great and certain tracks (pretty, i’m here, thanks for everything, etc) still make me emotional

but i’m not done. only look under the cut if you’ve played the game, and if you haven’t, go play it!!!

so: SPOILERS FOR ONESHOT (not including Solstice).

the funniest thing about OneShot is that it’s just a glorified trolley problem. with the main difference, of course, being that the entire game has been setting you up to have Genuine Emotional Investment in it, and it. fucking. works.

i absolutely love the way that it does this, too. throughout the tutorial area, you kind of expect to be playing as Niko - that’s how it is in almost every other rpg, after all. but immediately after you’ve made this assumption, the game refers to you and Niko separately - and it says your name before you’ve even had a chance to input it. (this is also part of why i recommend steam over console, because this is a lot more unexpected there)

this is then expanded upon when you meet prophetbot, who gets Niko to talk to you directly! you then kind of get to know Niko through these chats (as well as Niko talking to other characters in the game), which makes the final decision so much worse. they’re just a kid.

the meta puzzles are quite fun (and again another reason that i recommend computer over console), but saying they immerse you in the game world isn’t exactly right - they immerse the game world in reality. they, along with things like Niko talking directly to you, utterly demolish the fourth wall while simultaneously bringing direct attention to it. obviously there’s still a necessary amount of suspension of disbelief, but you can almost imagine that the program OneShot is an actual simulation of a digital world undergoing corruption.

i also love the tower sequence, because of what you can’t do in it. you can’t talk to Niko. it’s a very simple limitation, but it’s absolutely fucking destroying given that you’ve been able to for the entire rest of the game. and even though you’re still in full control, it feels like you’re not.

and then! once you are finally able to speak to Niko again! you need to tell them that the entire journey has been for naught and you can’t save both them and the world at the same time! look, there’s a reason that the song Pretty (the one that plays in the final elevator ride) is in a playlist of songs that make me emotional.

god i fucking love this game so much

(i’ve decided that i’m not going to write anything about Solstice because. i don’t think i can do it justice. just play it. you’ll know.)

[miloscat]

[Review] Wario Land 2 (GBC)

Oh yeah, Wario time.

After the boom of Wario spinoffs, things slowed down for him and Nintendo R&D1 in term of raw releases. When Wario Land 2 arrived a few years later, it represented a new direction for Wario Land. Six months to a year after that—depending on region—the series stepped into full colour for the first time with a rerelease for the GBC. This would be the definitive version if not for the lovely Super Game Boy borders that the monochrome release came with.

This is a sequel full of callbacks, to Super Mario Land 2 with Wario living in his ill-gotten castle, and to Wario Land 1 with the return of Captain Syrup and her pirate gang out to steal Wario's treasure. But in gameplay terms it's a clever reinvention of Wario's platforming mechanics. The levels are even more about exploration and nabbing filthy lucre, while Wario has become an undefeatable powerhouse: no more powerups, lives, or timers... and it's about time too.

Virtual Boy Wario Land dabbled in exploratory stages and destructible terrain, but WL2 takes that further to the point where you can consider it a puzzle platformer. A big new mechanic is Wario being affected by enemy attacks and taking on temporary forms or conditions, like being on fire, becoming a zombie, being flattened. These are a double edged sword: they can be carefully succumbed to as fun methods of interaction and traversal for reaching new areas and treasures, or they can set you back or force you to reset a room.

Since Wario can't die, the only penalties the game can enforce on you are a small loss of coins (important for playing the repetitive between-stages minigame and treasure minigame) or a wasting of the player's time. Backtracking through the branching levels is bad enough, but this game makes an art form of tedious setbacks. Now lacking the patience of a child, I was thankful that emulator features let me minimise interruptions of this nature.

This is the dark side to the new gameplay paradigm, but the bright side is the novelty of this fresh take on the brash comedic anti-hero, the level of environmental interactions and puzzle-solving that called to mind Yoshi's Island, and the integration of the story. Wario's quest to regain his pilfered loot takes him to various locations—a dank forest, cities and factories, a haunted house, undersea ruins—all contextualised with cutscenes far better than VBWL's slapdash whimsical mishmash, and letting new concepts breathe over a number of levels.

The branching narrative, with alternate exits to new sets of levels, seemed intimidating at first but an initial playthrough takes you on a straightforward path, and after the first credits (you'll see them at least five times if you go for 100%) you get access to a user-friendly level select that shows you where new branches can be found, so there's minimal need to replay stuff you've done already. This menu screen also shows you which treasures you've found—one per stage—although I wish there was a pause screen within a level that did the same, as I sometimes forgot if I'd nabbed it already. The sidestories are fun alternate takes on the adventure that also change the final credits sequence appropriately, which was a nice touch.

Wario Land 2 is the closest thing to what I was already familiar with: its direct sequel, Wario Land 3, so of course I loved it. But there's more to it... it's where the series really comes into its own; focusing on interactability, streamlining Wario's moveset with a permanent shoulder barge and butt-stomp while adding a bunch of gimmick transformations that can both help and harm, depending on the situation. It really works. The GBC refresh also makes the environments really pop, although it shows its nature as a "retrofit" with the palette limitations imposed on sprites, as Wario's forms and enemies only have a couple of shades each. Some minor growing pains and bland minigames drag it down a bit, but this is easily the best Wario game yet, and I already know the next one along takes it to another level!

[np5enkidu]

fate/samurai remnants review (no story spoilers)

as it must be said, i was a newbie to this genre, so from my perspective, i cannot judge whether specific elements are a deliberate genre-adjacent choice or something that didn't live up to expectations. i played the game on the normal difficulty.

my basic score would be 7.5/10

platform adaptation: i play on pc, which had some issues. i couldn't change many keybinds, clearly designed to be played on a controller. frustrating at first, but not too bad after sometime.

performance: i5-9400F + GeForce GTX 1650 Ventus XS. i only encountered a few issues, first around 20 hrs my game crashed (as i was trying to use rogue caster to turn the enemy into a piglet for the first time) and later the game froze and stopped responding. no other issues.

minigames: fine enough, the carving one was the only one i struggled with, since the keys used for it are WASD. fun additions, nonetheless.

movement and camera angle: fine, i only disliked the autolock on enemies. movement around maps was a bit boring and sometimes a bit tedious; they have instant teleport for one mission but never utilise it after that, which i found a bit confusing.

sword equipment: felt very insignificant, i upgraded some parts and switched them around a bit but they didn't feel like a huge difference, this might just be on my inexperience with this type of game.

items: healing items work very straight forward, running around acquiring them was a bit of pain. magical items, etc. were a bit of a pain, mostly since their acquisition felt a bit random at times. not too bad, but it didn't leave a great impression.

autosave: felt like it only noticed story progression and nothing else, not a big deal but i wouldn't rely on it.

combat gameplay: pretty okay, i had some struggles in the beginning, but after that it was fine. not super interesting for most of the time, but it was fine. probably wouldn't play for the love of the game itself.

leyline control gameplay: really fun, i did not expect it to be such a big part, but i liked it. after a few playthroughs, it is inevitably becomes repetetive, but it was still engaging.

skill trees: i liked them, i like the difference between iori + saber + rogue servant trees, it feels well balanced.

maps: pretty cool, i like that they tried to make each visually different, but i feel like many locations were not utilised fully. i like that the digressions take part in different places, though this could've been expanded on.

logbook: the amount of reading surprised me. cool feature, especially the character bios and glossary. i wish it was accesible through the main menu though.

visuals: still arts, cutscenes and animated sequences were all good. the main visual look wasn't that uniquely appealing, but i understand that the scale and setting of the game doesn't give designers that much stylistic freedom. i also wish mob characters were visually more towards wataru rei's art, as the visual dissonance between the story characters and mob characters is vast.

dlc expectations: i wonder if there are going to be more endings, since there's no direct post-game, as it just ends and you need to start again. i hope this timeframe will give them ample time to work on something cool; i am unsure if it's confirmed for the dlc to bring a new character with it. i am much more looking forward to more story than playable characters, but i'll see.

should you buy it? depends, if you want to legally support more fate endeavours, sure. but for it's hefty price, i would wait for it to drop down. if you're only interested in the story, i think the game works very well in a let's play format, so you can read the story that way.

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

So basically, if you ask me if I like creepypastas (specifically the game-related ones) my honest answer would be mostly no-but kind of yes? 'No' as in pushing away all the usual gunk (mostly based around Sonic and Sonic influence) that repeats the formula of protagonist is now the bad guy- you play as a cast of three usually made up of player 2's and 3's, minor characters, and/or antagonists; going to the right of the screen until they inevitably die. The rare instance of 'yes' extends out to the non-humorous parodies of older franchises that becomes much more than 'recoloring Sonic.exe by picking another franchise from a hat' or 'angry dead sibling of the player haunts the game' plot; and rather works as a twisted character study of the original plot or gameplay.

eugg so basically this is my study and perspective on the right way to twist a protagonist into a compelling and threatening antagonist/villain

I've got three examples of what I think working character studies look like, and I'll list them off from least violent to the most. Just a warning, the last one gets pretty bad. The first one only has one instance of gore that I know of, and it's not in your face at all.

*Spoilers and gameplay links for all. Feel free to play any of them before reading*

1.(Maybe FW? Slight gore and violence, disturbing) To begin, we'll talk about "Q*Bert Arcade" by Tarkan809 on Gamejolt. The game itself is fairly simple and not too far from home from the original arcade game (As the title might allude to and accidently trick you with). There are noticeable differences that will likely throw the player off, such as the fact that you're playing as one of the enemy Coilies(the snake), and the lack of enemies or atmospheric sound effects in the first stage. It's off and isolated, but not a blaring sign of danger. What really throws the game off is the completion of stage 1, as both the music and screen distort in an unsettling matter. Nonetheless, nothing at this point is added, as the majority of what is seen is edited-or enhanced, if you will, from the original material. There's no blaring red flags like unfitting music from another franchise, or the villain being revealed in the first impression of the title sequence. You are given this atmosphere that is built to remain close to 'normal'- allowing for the small differences to be twice as effective in the creep factor.

From the second level onward, we're introduced to the one new element to the narrative; Q*bert. To my knowledge, the game is just called 'Q*bert Arcade' and not something like Q*bert.exe-as every let's play YouTuber calls it; Q*bert's design isn't the typical addition of predatory features. There's no pitch black eyes with red pupils, there's no sharp teeth or claws (although idk how that would work on Q*bert in the first place). Instead, Q*bert's typical look is enhanced with humanoid-like features, with a soulless expression. You can't really tell it off the bat however, as the same glitch effect does fairly well at hiding his design-whether or not you decide to hide away. While I don't believe that hiding the monster's appearance is a mandatory move, but playing with the fear of the unknown is always unique and effective nonetheless. What I really like about this game is that there's no text appearing out of nowhere and explaining the personality and motives of the character right away.

Despite the presence of the character, it's still staying fairly true to the original material. All you hear from the character is his typical jumbled up text-to-speech voice; not being too off from the original use, but being an affective spook-factor in a different setting.

I also just noticed this, but there's a subtle detail between the first level and when Q*bert shows up; as you may notice that the Coily's expression changes from neutral to worried as soon as the stage turns orange (I think. I don't think I'm seeing things. But if it's not, it's doing its job in making me think I'm seeing things)

The death scenes in the gameplay aren't overly violent or out of character, as the voice and screen just distort severely and restart. There's room for gameplay, and nothing (to my knowledge) is removed in the controls for the sake of the enemy magically catching up. The game ends on a level mostly without Q*bert- only showing up when the player completes their part.

What I like most about the antagonist character is that the writing isn't afraid to show it expression emotions. Though it might sound like I'm constantly bashing on the Sonic.exe character, I'm not- but the tropes the character is always associated with often don't leave much room for anything but what he-and others like him- are usually associated with. By most X is shown to have two emotions; Soulless happy/pleased/amused or soulless angry. Either way, the character more often than not gets his way in the end- so it doesn't effect his choices and mannerisms. Q*bert's emotions-however-effect the plot greatly. There's no overpowered god-like presence- as much as there is a theme of human-like emotion and pettiness. While in his somber mood, Q*bert plays fair with the player- even to the point of jumping off if they manage to hide away in time. He's fast, but works by foot and not random supernatural tendencies.

His human-like nature gets to him by the end of the demo, causing him to angrily throw the Coily in a rage-fit- smashing them against the ground and chewing off the tip of their tail. There's no cheap jump-scares and loud noises. There's also no need for fourth-wall breaks to make sure the player feels threatened. The blood and violence is minimized to just one stroke of action. It's not about cramming in the shock factor- its goal is to simulate a fear of what this arcade game is, what has has happened to it, and what it can become.

To my knowledge, there isn't much of an explanation behind this other than the player is likely a kid in an old arcade that sneaks into the backroom while everyone else is on their phones. Someone said it's based on a creepypasta with a cabinet-man-like premise, but idk if that's true.

I think it's neat nonetheless.

2. (Slight gore, loud scares, and FW) The next example is more of a character study of an alternate universe/route than it is a creepypasta attempting to convince you it's a real thing. Gimmick! (Window's 98 Edition) or 'YUME.EXE' by Diplocaule on Gamejolt appears to be a startling but effective route in making the audience fear the original. Taken side-by-side, YUME.EXE and Gimmick! go alongside similar plotlines. Both introduce the premise beginning on a young girl's birthday, opening the gift of a strange and small creature as her special surprise. In the original route, the girl is thrilled with the gift of Yumetaro-likely favoring them over her old toys and making them jealous.

However, YUME.EXE displays an AU in which the young girl isn't pleased with her special gift- and just places it on her cabinet to catch dust. The once magical abilities and origins of the character are turned against the girl- making it clear that she has made a terrible fiend. The other toys are removed, and she is taken to an unfamiliar world twisted from the original material. The traits of the original protagonist being an attention-loving creature with magical powers allowing it to travel between worlds is an excellent trait to be elaborated further upon in another light. The logic makes sense with the established world, and the motives become clear in perspective.

This time, you play as the girl; trapped in a bleak 3-D void-unsure of what is to happen next. The jealous creature catches up eventually. Text and jump scares are used in this one, but tastefully. The theme is brash and intense- simulating a fear of resentment and anger. A aggressive feeling is established and exposed- like a wound rotting terribly the more the player attempts to search around. While it's 3-D and likely an attempt to simulate realism in the player, the environment isn't pulled out of character at all- as the textures are pixelated. The text urges the girl to go back to where she started, revealing a waiting 'YUMI' crawling out of the darkness to lunge at her. It likely impales her somehow, causing her to fall down while slowly dying. The background changes to its usual happy-theme, simulating a feeling of joy in her death as she slowly bleeds out. After a quick jumpscare, the protagonist role swapes back to 'YUMI' and its usual gameplay style. Going forward, the character stumbles upon the poor girl's body, and slowly begins to smile.

To my knowledge; there's no 'real-life' name drops that set this up as another 'real victim stuck in a game' scenario, but simulating the same fear by implying the hidden pettiness and ironic villainy in an already established character if choices are made differently. In that way, the original route is seen as the best choice, as her original toys are now seen as the far-lesser two evils.

3. (Very violent, loud jumpscares, FW, disturbing) Alright, so Adventure Island.exe by Anomalocalis on Gamejolt is a gory, but great example both adding a themes and setting an AU to the original story, without being too crowded (albeit it is very overwhelming, but intentionally). Both games start of just about the same- not changing until you approach the enemies. For context (to what I understand) the original Adventure Island is a basic platform game, allowing for the player to occasionally pick up random-but-wacky powerups from eggs, such as skateboard gear-or maybe even Fairies. The spoof removes the cartoonish theme and logic, weighing in on the reality of man becoming a destructive menace in nature -possessed or not. Beginning the game, the narrative establishes personality points by showing the enemies fleeing as soon as the player comes to the screen. The gameplay is slower, and almost simulating a destructive weight that the original Higgins didn't have before. The first red flags aren't scares or glitches, but rather just key detail changes in the enemies behavior. Also another detail is that the points do nothing, but I'm not sure what that could mean other than maybe a theme of gluttony?...

Again, the realistic behaviors in the character set in an expectedly unrealistic environment brings a subtle unsettling feeling, even if when the scares aren't happening.

The level comes to an end, and the mechanism of the egg is finally teased. Going further and collecting the egg, a spirit emerges and potentially possesses Higgins. Themes of Higgins playing along with long awaited tribal rituals and sacrifices is brought to the narrative, as an unnamed narration encourages him to explore it further. This could symbolize man's nature to destroy, establish, and obtain power over the value of life. We often have a natural habit to find gods to praise, or even go as far to attempt to become one. This theme seems very prominent in this character study- as seeing how the original material works off of a semi-implied civilized man (assuming from the ballcap) fighting off wildlife in the jungle.

The game restarts, beginning the second act. The title shows once again, but with the subtle animation of Higgin's face changing and smiling upon the player. The cult-like affirmations towards Higgins are seen again just before the level starts. The level doesn't require anything more than to go forward. Higgins is slow and silently fuming behind the shadows. Enemies flee, but are destroyed by the touch. Likely because of his choice, life is easier- lessening the need for platforms and jumping. However, because of this, he begins to lose his humanity.

A sacrifice is demanded, and he does so by capturing and violently smashing to death one of the fairies. Furthering the power requires no love or remorse, likely being something replaced by asserting authority.

This act likely ends with the 'power' killing him with no pay-off, despite what is promised. He's no longer in the menu. Heaven no longer has its goal or purpose, and is described as something he personally has to obtain-likely through his violent means. The game resumes normally until it ends in a jumpscare. Perhaps displaying that his standards of killing have no exception on another human.

Rather than a playful spoof, or alternate set of choices queuing in the butterfly effect; Higgin's personality is fleshed out by inserting some new elements; displaying a semi-accurate depiction of the narrative, and showing the protagonist submitting to the natural human urge to indulge and assert power over those below them.

Summary: When writing your spook spoof, remember to play with elements that compliment and explore each character; rather than just resorting to what everybody else did, or what's going to create the most shock factor.

(Also, keep this in mind; Sonic.exe is going to work for Sonic because it's often a play on 'what if the fastest thing alive wasn't on the good side'. Doing the exact same thing to, eh-idk, Kirby isn't going to work because speed isn't an element that makes Kirby threatening...) (That I know of. You would go with the fact that he eats people and gains their power, I assume....)

K. Hope my ramblings help out somebody at some point. Anyways, have a great day/night!

[jcmarchi]

The Casting of Frank Stone Preview - How Filmmaking Works In The Casting Of Frank Stone - Game Informer

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The Casting of Frank Stone Preview - How Filmmaking Works In The Casting Of Frank Stone - Game Informer

The Casting of Frank Stone is Game Informer’s cover story this month, and we learned some exclusive details about the upcoming horror game during our trip to Behaviour Interactive’s studio in Montreal. Speaking to Supermassive creative director Steve Goss, he clued us in on the game’s most central and unique mechanic: the Super 8mm camera. 

Set within the Dead by Daylight universe, the game story unfolds in the summer of 1980 in the unassuming small town of Cedar Hills. It follows a group of teenagers who set out to film a horror movie at an abandoned steel mill that has ties to a murderer named Frank Stone. At its core, The Casting of Frank Stone is a Supermassive game through and through. It’s a cinematic choice-driven horror game that sees players making decisions and executing split-second button prompts that can decide whether a character lives or dies. If you’ve enjoyed the studio’s previous works like Until Dawn or The Dark Pictures Anthology, you have a good idea of what to expect. But the experience features some intriguing new mechanics, such as the camera. 

The teens buy the 8mm camera from a store called the Curiosity Shop after dropping and breaking their original Super 8. However, it later becomes apparent that this is no ordinary camera, a fact players will experience first-hand. Given how vital movie-making is to the narrative, Goss says it would have been “absurd” not to lean into the idea of letting players actively participate in filmmaking. “You actually do filming,” he stresses. “You do film. And then it becomes ‘you film’ to ‘you have to film.’”

Goss is cagey about providing too many gameplay details about the camera, and we didn’t get to see it in action during our visit. However, he does reveal that players can freely take it out and film everything around them, which unfolds in first-person view. It’s a fully functioning camera; you have to wind it to record and reload it with more film. The camera is also imbued with some kind of magical energy and will be useful for survival. For example, one section of the game features an invisible enemy that can only be spotted using the camera’s viewfinder, which causes the camera to crackle with energy. The camera’s capabilities evolve throughout the adventure; Goss even teases it may not be the only camera players use. 

The camera is necessary for story and gameplay sequences and serves as the core intersection between the teens. Although the camera brings them together, it also becomes a point of tension. “If you’ve ever been engaged in a kind of a group creative exercise, people do try and vie for the leadership of the group,” Goss teases.

It’s tough not to draw parallels to the 2011 supernatural thriller movie Super 8, and that’s partially by design. The film was cited as one of the reference points for The Casting of Frank Stone more than once during our discussions. Both the game and the movie center on youths creating their own movie before spooky occurrences flip things on their head, which Goss says highlights Super 8’s producer Steven Spielberg’s penchant for creating stories about people making things, often forms of art. He hopes the theme of characters wanting to be the makers of things comes through in The Casting of Frank Stone. 

“When I was a kid […] I bothered my parents until they bought me a camera and then made terrible things that were just absolutely worthless,” Goss says. “But it was the nearest I could get to being creatively kind of significant, I suppose. That’s the thread here: a bunch of kids, probably [in] not the most forward-thinking place in the universe, probably not the most economically exciting place to be, certainly it doesn’t have any kind of cool stuff to do, so they’re making up for themselves. So that���s why this is at the heart of that story.”

The Casting of Frank Stone launches on September 3 for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, and PC. Be sure to visit our cover story hub for more exclusive stories and videos by clicking the banner below. 

[pleasantfinn]

BAYONETTA

My thoughts after playing a game created by teams responsible for Devil May Cry and Metal Gear Rising.

Although I had played a few of the Devil May Cry titles (and love them), Metal Gear Rising, and other similar titles, I never had much of an interest in playing Bayonetta for some reason. It could be that it missed me at launch and I never sought it out, but, after a friend purchased it for me as one of their favorite games, I am happy to say I have been shorting myself for a very long time by not starting this game. This game has absolutely wowed me...

Bayonetta starts off at an absolute rocket's pace - immediately throwing you into gorgeous cinematics, hilarious character banter, mysterious enemies, and the most over-the-top entrance of a protagonist I have ever witnessed. This is directly after a prologue fight where you fall through the sky, fighting tons of enemies with no explanation of control while an ominous narrator gives you the history of the world. The game does not relent after these opening sequences - the game is just full of rapid-fire, stylish hack 'n slash combat, into boss fights, into phenomenally presented story with, respectfully, the baddest bitch of all time dismantling every situation with elegant combat skills and equally as quick and impressive verbal beatings with lightning fast, witty lines. She carries herself in a way that nothing can stop her the whole game, and unlike most games that handle this poorly and makes your character feel like their shit doesn't stink - Bayonetta's impeccably written personality favors this approach perfectly. It would be hard not to fall in love with the powerful, confident, razor-tongued heroin the game lets you fill the shoes of.

The story is presented over the course of the game, rather than up front, and the game gives you pockets of readable lore and collectibles through the game that helps you string everything together until late game when it is finally all pulled together, and this pacing helps keep the game intriguing the entire way, as you learn Bayonetta's forgotten past WITH her rather than before her, which is where other games mess the ol' amnesiac protagonist bit wrong. The only complaint I had in my playthrough was the QTE felt a bit inconsistent in timing window's in the later stages of the game, but this could have been Kamiya's idea of added difficulty.

This game's combat doesn't miss. This game's characters don't miss. This game's story doesn't miss. Where Devil May Cry propelled the Hack 'N Slash genre forward, Bayonetta nearly perfects it, with its stylish, sexy, hilarious and intriguing story and gameplay, making you want to see it through to the end, but alternately okay with playing inside the world forever.

Bayonetta is the culmination of the genre, as well as the golden standard. It easily has become one of my favorite games of all time.

You can pick up the game for Nintendo Switch HERE, or for Steam HERE. Thanks for reading. ilu. I am playing Bayonetta 2 on Twitch currently, check me out there!

logo by Mikalogo

[critical-chris]

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

AKA Avatar: Wait oh Why is it 3 Hours??

Let me take you back to a simpler time, before reality stars were political figures, a decade before a virus shut down the entire world, and when James Cameron was known for directing Titanic, and sequels debated to be better than their predecessors: 2009

When the first Avatar film was released, I was fairly excited given the massive visual undertaking and filmography of its director beforehand, not to mention the positive reviews pouring in from critic and popcorn movie-goer alike. I was also 15 years old, so my childlike wonder had not yet been diminished by adult life (rent sucks, am I right). However, when I finally saw the film, I was left cold.

The visuals were stunning, don't get me wrong, but I felt no connection to any characters and found the storyline recycled and stale. I would have given the movie about a 6.5/10, and have only revisited it once while it was playing on television since. I wasn't surprised there were multiple sequels greenlit given the profits the first film made, but I didn't think this was a series or universe I cared to spend that much more time in.

When the release date for Avatar: The Way of Water was announced, and subsequently the trailer was released, I knew I'd see it in theaters (which really is a must for a flick like this) but maintained my same disinterest in the continuation of the original's storyline. Then, when the film was finally released, I became surprised at the positive reactions to the plot in addition to the graphics. All of a sudden, I had newfound hope that this sequel could one-up its predecessor and become a new regular in my sci-fi movie rotation.

Now, I have a real distrust and dislike for Disney based on how they treated the new Star Wars movies and series (I do love The Mandolorian, however) and the fact they're buying out every studio and content producer I once loved. Based on that dislike, I decided to wait a handful of weeks to see this movie so as not to give them the satisfaction of the immediate return on their investment in this series. I realize they don't give a shit, and my $0 paid for this viewing in particular due to my AMC Stubs membership is like handing them a crisp $5 bill, but we have to pretend we have principles. I finally got my ticket, grabbed a large popcorn for myself and myself ONLY, and strapped in for a 3 HOUR AND 12 MINUTE adventure.

I will start with the obvious positive about the film. The visuals are absolutely insane. It is stunning, hyper-realistic, and the most seamless CGI film you will ever see to date. I honestly don't know how you could make a computer-generated movie or game that is more lifelike than Avatar: The Way of Water. It reminded me of all those video games you pop in, and see a cutscene that is so above and beyond more true to life than the actual gameplay. This whole film plays like one of those cutscenes but even better.

The Avatars look like they could be standing right in front of you, the water feels like it is going to splash in your face like being near an out of control toddler on a summer day at the water park, and the action makes you squirm out of the way lest you be bitten by a viper shark whale or whatever the hell you want to call that thing that attacks Lo'ak (the middle son, I had to look up his name). There are only a couple spots that you can really tell this planet is not a place you can take a quick spaceship journey to see.

My favorite sequence occurs with about an hour to 45 minutes left in the movie, and stretches until there are about 15 minutes left. The whale hunting scene right into the final battle between Sam Worthington and his sea peeps and clone Quaritch's goons are peak Cameron action set pieces that keep you engaged and fascinated. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

And with that out of the way (of water), let's get to the gripes. (Spoilers Ahead)

Gripe #1: The New Characters

This movie introduces a whole slew of new characters, most of which I felt were rather flat despite the amount of time dedicated to each of them. This includes Sully and Neytiri's children, the whale hunters, the sea people, and a whale. Yes, a whale.

Sully and Neytiri have 4 children: the eldest son Neteyam, the middle child Lo'ak, their youngest daughter Tuk, and their adopted daughter Kiri who it is implied was immaculately conceived by Sigourney Weaver who only reprises her character in flashbacks. However, Weaver also plays the daughter which I found really odd considering she's supposed to be teenage but sounds like a fully mature woman.

There is no real attention payed to Tuk other than the parents constantly tasking the elder children with protecting her. The eldest son is painted as the brave and good kid who is scolded for letting their shithead middle son act like the rebel he is. Other than backing up his siblings among the family and tribe and acting brave, he's given little to do until he catches a stray bullet because they had to kill one character to get an emotional moment in the first climax.

Lo'ak follows the typical middle child storyline of always falling short of proving himself and being misunderstood by everyone around him. He forms a bond with a mutilated outcast whale I refuse to look up the name for that the others berate him for because even the whale is misunderstood. Snore.

The kids from the sea people tribe are all standard tropes as well, the older kid being stubborn and unaccepting until the new kids prove themselves, the middle kid with the Lil Mosey haircut who is stubborn and unaccepting until the new kids prove themselves, and the daughter who likes the middle child and is the only one who understands him and has a crush on him. Snore.

The patriarch and matriarch of the sea people tribe are your standard tribal chief and shaman characters (I'm not sure why they felt they needed to pay Kate Winslet to be in this role because the character doesn't resemble her at all). All of Quaritch's henchmen are standard goons that are picked off one-by-one in the climactic scenes. Jemaine Clement pops up in this movie as a scientist, but is given little to do and gets off really no jokes which begs the question of why Clement was cast.

Gripe #2: The Monkey Boy

I had to dedicate an entire section of this review to the character of Spider... Holy shit, this was PAINFUL to watch. Right off the bat, when I look at this kid all I can think is that the actor portraying him is Tekashi 6ix9ine without the face tattoos. And here are pictures of them both for reference:

There are about 19 examples of him screaming or hissing at Quaritch and his posse of merry men that made me laugh out loud for how unbelievable and frankly ridiculous they were. Whenever he's on the screen I wish he wasn't. The journey they put him on of reluctantly trying to connect with an Avatar clone of the villain from the first movie, and father he never met, feels hollow and seems to only serve as a means for Quaritch 2.0 to survive at the end. After spending 2.5 hours hating his father's clone and everything he does, he rescues him from drowning only to perform another cringeworthy hiss and swim away. Pardon my Na'Vi, but that was just fucking awful.

Gripe #3: The Storyline

The basic plotline of the movie is that the Sky People (humans) return to Pandora and have made an Avatar clone of Stephen Lang's character who is sent to hunt down Sully, who lives peacefully now with Neytiri and their 3 kids. In order to spare the rest of the tribe from potential death, Sully takes his family to the sea people to hide out and learn the ways of the tribe. Wouldn't you know it, the sea people don't accept them at first but through conflict they learn to live and fight together!

SNOOOOOOOOOZE

The amount of time spent on the sea people mocking Sully's family for not being good swimmers or pulling teenage pranks on each other and infighting is a feature length film itself. It is so painfully slow it removes all excitement established at the beginning of the film when Quaritch's team is hunting Sully's family through the forest. The underwater scenes are cool to look at, but great visuals can only keep me distracted for so long until I start getting impatient by the 3rd example of the sea people teens saying 'Oh look how dumb the newbies look doing the thing we're all so good at.'

Then there's Lo'ak's whale friend. The first time Lo'ak is saved and converses with the mutilated deformed whale through half-ass sign language, I went to the bathroom thinking I might miss some plot building but was willing to take the chance anyways. When I got back, there was another scene playing out exactly the same with the same information being told to the audience. For gods sake, GET ON WITH IT. If you're giving me a 3 hour+ movie, all scenes need to have impact individually, I cannot tolerate retreading the same dialogue over and over again. Honestly, they could have removed 45 minutes from this thing at the very least and would not lose a bit of tension, meaningful dialogue, character-building, or world-building they were looking to achieve.

As mentioned, the Spider and Quaritch side plot is so forced and unnatural it only negatively impacts the overall story in my mind. the Sigourney Weaver character clone is strange and never really clicks to me either. And they overdo it with the middle son's whale friend throughout the second half of the film.

They also shoehorn in a plot point around the motive for the whale hunters. Apparently, the little vial of yellow juice they extract from the whale's brains can be used to stop human aging. WHAT? Where was this in the first movie? They state this discovery is one of the sole reasons the humans are setting up shop on Pandora given the monetary value of such a substance, but it is conveniently never mentioned until the 2 hour 30 minute mark of the sequel movie. Good lord guys, way to bury the lead.

This also may seem nit-picky, but this is why you come to Critical Chris for your review. The movie is frankly over-narrated by Sam Worthington. There are a few instances where Worthington's character is telling us what is happening literally while they are showing us everything we would already need to know. "They accepted us into the tribe and their family." Yeah, we fucking know dude, we just watched a whole ritual of them making you swim-people (I refuse to look up the name of the sea folk). Right there is another 5+ minutes you could've chopped off this thing.

Overall, while the movie's visuals are a spectacle that deserve to be seen on the biggest screen possible and in 3D if available, the story is so unbelievably boring and unoriginal that I cannot recommend anything beyond one watch of this grueling marathon of a runtime.

Avatar: The Way of Water - 6.5/10

There’s something to be said about consistency

[digitalriyasaga]

This is my last post for FFXIII.

I just....Don’t understand why people hate this game so much. I love it.

The gameplay isn’t amazing. The maps are really linear, and the fights can be fairly formulaic. But.....Is it really doing anything previous ones didn’t? The battle system isn’t that much different from what’s come before. And linearity? Final Fantasy X did that years before.

I get why people might not enjoy the gameplay much.....But I really don’t think it can be called a bad game. I enjoyed playing it. I found the paradigm system fun to play with, and enjoyed swapping the party around based on what I needed. And I always wanted to keep at it, because, because the story was so good, I felt like I was moving towards something that mattered. Not just....Grinding to get a number higher.

Maybe it is just because I’m very story-focused, but I absolutely love this game. I’m so glad I pushed through the slog of the first few hours, because it was so worth it. The story has so many amazing, emotional moments. The climaxes of the characters’ arcs are done so well. The scene on Nautilus with Sazh and Vanille must be one of, if not the, highlight of the entire game for me. There were so many moments where I gasped out loud, or found myself yelling “No!” At the screen. So many moments where I felt so bad for the characters, or was smiling and laughing with them. They’ve all become very dear to me. I’m grateful for this game’s existence.

I started out just posting about this for fun, because I like talking about things I’m interested in. The game was so cutscene dense that I thought about just stopping posting my screenshots, but.....It always gave me so much that I wanted to talk about. I wished that people would see this game and give it a second chance, when I heard that a lot of people think of it as a bad one. I couldn’t understand hearing that people thought of Lightning as just a Cloud ripoff, or unlikable, or disliked Hope. They deserve more than to be written off like that. The whole game does. That’s why I kept at it. It kept me wanting to say more about it and share that. Maybe nobody cares, but....I just want to talk about the things I love, and this game completely earned a place on my list of stories I really love. I’m sure that even if years pass and I replay this, I’ll still love it. I only got a few hours in before I picked up FFXIII-2 and Lightning Returns. That’s how much this game struck me. I’m very happy that I have two more games to spend with these characters.

But, you know.....Some things did bother me. Mostly the ending. It felt like it got weak at the end. I didn’t understand some things. Like.....Why did Fang turn on us, exactly? I understood wanting to stop Vanille from being tortured by Orphan, but....She was going to hit Vanille. I don’t get that at all. It didn’t seem to make any sense.

And then we all came back from being Cie’th. Was it an illusion? Barthandelus had demonstrated the ability to modify his appearance, or create illusions, but never to change someone else’s, or lock them away mentally. I thought that what happened was that we really did become Cie’th, and the goddess intervened. Because, after we returned from being Cie’th, our brands looked the same as Fang’s did after she was drained by the goddess and forced into crystal sleep. But if that is what happened...It’s literally a deus ex machina, and it feels weak. And raises more questions, such as why the goddess would let anyone remain a Cie’th if she can intervene. It also felt very trapped by the format there, for me. Why would Barthandelus be trying to kill us if his whole plan was to have us kill Orphan? And then, why would we fight Orphan if our whole plan was to save Orphan to thwart Barthandelus’ plan?

For Vanille and Fang to transform into Ragnarok to save Cocoon.....I liked that sequence, but it didn’t really feel earned. When they talked about creating a miracle, it should have been a miracle by persisting against the odds. Not literally something that shouldn’t have been able to happen happening, or coming out of nowhere.

And for the plot.....The ending is so bittersweet!

I’m very happy that Serah and Dajh came back. I was especially happy for Sazh; I had the biggest smile on my face when he got to hug Dajh! But.....Fang and Vanille are gone. I loved those two. It’s so bitter......They’re in crystal stasis inside the pillar. They’re essentially dead for who knows how long. And then what? If the fal’Cie that made them l’Cie is still out there, they might get a new Focus after that anyway, while we’ve been cured. And in the meantime?

Gran Pulse is colonised by the same people who’ve been demonising them for centuries.

That’s what I hate the most about it! Is that really a happy ending? The people of Cocoon get off practically scot free for their xenophobia, and the only two humans left from Gran Pulse are literally sacrificing everything to keep the planet full of bigots up while the bigots move into ther home. I hate that so much! Is that really all they get after everything? It’s too painful! It’s so bitter.

I’m really happy for the rest of the characters, but fuck, I want a happy ending for Vanille and Fang, too. It’s so unfair that the people who’ve hated on Gran Pulse for centuries now get to shamelessly move there, while the only two survivors get nothing. I hate it so much. I really, really, really hope they can come back and have a happy ending. And I just really want to see them again.

This got really long, and I doubt anybody cares.....But I think that just goes to show how much I loved this game, that I’d care enough to write so much.

In the end.....This game is really great. That’s what I think. It’s my favourite Final Fantasy game. Maybe not the best in every respect, but it’s surely my favourite. I love it. So, I’m going to keep on playing the Fabula Nova Crystalis. I’m going to play FFXIII-2, and post about that, too. I want to see them all again.

[lavaeolus]

Jedi Shadow: beating KotOR with as little killing as possible

For a game with such an array of skills, Knights of the Old Republic is very willing to just let you charge in and clear out dungeons with your lightsaber. There's about one point where Stealth as an option is explicitly acknowledged, and it's on the Endar Spire. From a player's perspective, it's an odd investment: you could slowly sneak in and bypass foes or set up mines... or you could just charge in and collect that sweet, sweet enemy XP in a flash.

Still, it did get me wondering. How viable is sneaking around? And in a game that pats you on the back for mercy and de-escalating conflicts, how much combat is unavoidable? Neither of the Old Republic games would support an outright pacifist run, but how well would the game react to us eschewing its main gameplay? Let's go on a journey together, people, a quest to save the galaxy with a minimum of whoosh-whoosh pew-pews.

Enter my character, a Scoundrel. I wasn't sure what approach would be best for this run, but I figured the class that starts with stealth and gets a buttload of skill points would be a good choice. I decided I'd take the extra effort to grab 14 Intelligence, even though in the harsh world of the first game that equates to a whopping one extra skill point a level. Given the goals of the character, it felt fitting enough to go for a more defensive Dexterity-focused build. Would it be enough? Let's find out.

Oh, and this post is pretty long. Just a warning.

The Endar Spire

Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. For the Endar Spire we're in full tutorial mode, and that means you're gonna learn how to combat. You can mostly leave Trask to it, as you sit in the corner mourning Sith, but your hands will get dirty.

A bloody, bloody time. I counted 16 people in total, including 5 I electrocute with a computer. Keep that number in mind for later! It's a very murdery tutorial.

Taris

Would you believe only 2 kills?

Well, sort of, but that's a charitable count. First, it doesn't count the ships in your first mandatory turret sequence. Second, a specific rakghoul needs to die before Mission will spawn -- but it's the one who attacks Hendar, so if you charge out and take hits he can land the final blow. It's also ignoring Davik, who we technically never lay a hand on: he just gets crushed by rubble mid-combat with us, thanks to the Sith bombardment.

Brejik, then? You win the swoop race, but Bastila (not yet part of our party) breaks out of her own accord... and can easily handle things by herself. You're obligated to kill zilch.

So who are our lucky two victims? It's an assault droid in the Sith Base and the Sith Governer. All other combat kills can be avoided by stealth, by hacking computer terminals to open doors and shut down turrets, or -- more than I would like -- by running away from people while screaming. Let's call it 1 person, 1 droid and 1 creature.

Dantooine

Dantooine doesn't get much time to wrack up a killcount. We talk down Juhani and become a Consular, then head to follow a vision. The only necessary kills are 2 droids guarding the Star Map. Even then, you don't need to take them out in *combat*. You can stealth past them, use the computer to unlock the seal, and then just run back into the main room. Do so, however, and they just... inexplicably explode when you open the door to the Star Map. C'est la vie.

Still, here's something fun. You know the beasts attacking the runaway droid? You can run up to them, lure them away, then break line-of-sight and return to the droid to talk to him. While I don't know if that's intentional, it's cool it works as a solution.

Tatooine

You do need to get a Sand Person disguise, and those are dropped by the Elite Warriors who form part of each desert ambush. Otherwise the game auto-kills you when you pass by the Sand People's turrets. So we kill this Warrior, but let the other two ambushers live.

Since we'll go light-side, you might think that's it: Sand People negotiations done and killing's solved. Alas. We have to take part in a krayt dragon hunt, and that means luring some banthas as bait. To finish luring the banthas, we're forced to kill four more Elite Warriors who attempt to stop us.

That makes 5 people and 1 creature (the krayt dragon) in total. Calo Nord tries to ambush us but we can... literally walk past him without triggering combat? A bounty hunter for the ages.

Korriban

Home of the Sith, and a multiple-quests Prestige system! We sweet-talk our way into the academy and do most of the non-combat stuff: recite the Sith Code, reveal Yuthura's betrayal, get the info from the Mandalorian (and fake his death while we're at it), fetch Ajunta Pall's sword. You might recall in that last one, a Sith student tries to get the relic off you. We refuse to give it to him but run past him; any overt trickery would get him killed.

But count that up. We need five Prestige points, and I listed *four* things. We're left with a sadistic choice. To get our last prestige point, we must either:

Rat out Kel Algwinn to Uthar, which technically keeps our hands clean and avoids combat altogether. But Uthar is implied to kill the young apprentice.

Help the renegade Sith students escape: they just need a Terentatek killed.

Head into the Tomb of Tulak Hord and either let the hermit kill Mekel, or help Mekel turn the tides against him.

In the end, I went with killing the Terentatek. This way we can say with some earnesty that, hey, did you know you only need to kill one person on Korriban? A crack stealth squad of me, Mission and Juhani (remember: she has a stealth ability!) went into the caves, just barely eliminated the beast, and reported its death to the renegade students. It's not an easy task at level 9, but when you're loaded up with determination and adrenals, there's nothing you can't do. (You can get the Qel-Droma Robes without actually killing the beast, for the curious: they're on remains nearby, so you can grab 'em with stealth.)

Technically I cower in a corner, stealth, and just let Yuthura solo Uthar. In this case my character walked in knowing there'd be a conflict, and I did poison him to weaken him, so I'm still going to count that as a kill. Yuthura is spared but, sadly, not redeemed -- we need peace with the academy so we can convince a Sith duelist to free the academy's captives. (He assumes it's all part of a powerplay by an in-hiding Uthar.)

So there you go. Korriban: least bloody planet so far. 1 person and 1 creature.

Manaan

It might seem sneakier to use a passcode or passphrase to enter the Sith Base, but that actually results in a fight the moment you enter. If you go to the Hangar, however, you can just sneak aboard a transport and arrive at the back of their base, avoiding combat altogether. At least initially: we'll still have to trigger the fight when exiting the base, but at that point we can just run through the front door. Sadly, the dialogue doesn't change to acknowledge your relatively softer methods.

Three Firaxan sharks must die to clear us a path in our first sea floor expedition, followed by two more sharks in our second. It's a shame because in principle, these sharks don't need to die -- but I couldn't figure out a realistic way of avoiding their aggro or their attacks.

So that makes 5 creatures. Manaan, with its cold war and courtroom drama, was almost our first pacifist planet completion. Alas.

Kashyyyk

I, er, actually don't have much to say! You're not on Kashyyyk for long, and here's the secret: we're not going to be doing the core of it. This whole Chuundar vs Freyyr civil war thing? Seems like that's something for the wookiees to solve. We just get the Star Map and leave. Sorry, Big Z!

Oh, but the trick with the droid earlier works here as well: we can lead the two Mandalorians attacking him away, peacefully saving Grrrwahrr. Beautiful name. All-in-all, we finally completed a planet without having to kill something and all it cost was one of our companions.

In case you're wondering about my order here: by leaving this planet completion last, we can avoid the Star Map's droid fight without getting any dark side points. But I'm simplifying things. Technically I went to Kashyyyk, picked up Jolee, took him to Manaan and dealt with Sunry, *then* came back to wrap things up. The XP from the Sunry trial is too important to pass up.

0 kills!

Leviathan

Mission's the pick for a bloodless rescue, in my eyes. We invest a point into Carth and Bastila's stealth skill and equip them with basic stealth generators, just barely giving us some wriggle room to work with.

Of course, there's the Saul Karath boss fight and his minions. That's 7 people in all! Weep.

After that, though, we can get through without killing any other Sith while on the ship, although leaving begins the second mandatory turret sequence. How many die there? I still don't know. One for each ship at least. Maybe they're drones. We live in hope.

Unknown Planet

Starting this begins our third and final forced turret sequence. But we don't actually have to kill anyone in this One vs Elders war. Rescuing the Elder scout from the One requires he set the beasts on you, but once that cage is open all you need to do is find that Elder and tell him to get a move on.

But we don't manage to complete this planet without some death. In the catacombs, the door to the tile puzzle's room actually won't open until our party takes out the 2 droids in the map. An attempt to proof the tiles against NPCs walking on them, perhaps?

That's it, though. Sorry: we'll be staying on the light-side rather than murdering Jolee and Juhani. I know it'd be funny to do a dark-side pacifist run, but alas, here it's not really viable. Maybe in KotOR II.

Star Forge

This is it. Our journey's complete. No more level-scaling any more and we do have some mandatory fighting. But it's also the last of any significant XP gain from objectives. So where did we end up?

Level 13. That's not good. That's not good at all! Bastila and Malak are level 20, so our Force powers won't work. And it's not that I haven't been completionist, either! If a sidequest didn't require killing, it was done. Oh well.

We run past most of the Star Forge. We have to kill three Dark Jedi to progress, but the first real obstacle is Bastila. Still, give it time and we wear her down. Fortunately, we manage to give her a quick pep talk and avoid having to deal a fatal blow. She is Good once more.

Malak's another matter entirely. Now, I tried various ways to cheese him: my accumulated mines, kiting, etc. But in the end, it's not enough. Maybe if I'd been more prepared: if I'd optimised a little better, if I'd remembered to get that Crit-Immunity belt. Alas. I have to turn the difficulty from Normal to Easy. Importantly, that neuters his crits.

That done, I decide to go the extra mile. On Easy mode, Malak can't realistically kill me so long as I'm pumping medpacs. Thanks to stealthy looting, I have about a hundred of these things. I decide I'll take on Malak out without personally killing the Captive Jedi. It's less impressive than it sounds; Malak makes terrible use of them, draining them when he takes only a bit of chip damage.

And with that, down he goes. Peace in the Republic is restored. The full gang reunited, heroes of said Republic.

Wait, are we missing someone?

Final tally and thoughts

So that's 34 people, 8 creatures and 5 droids. Thank the Force we could spare the droids. But wait. That means just under half the people we killed were on the Endar Spire. I told you tutorials were dangerous! Obviously you can quibble with that count a bit. There's also the ships we blew up, and we turned the tides of a war and were complicit in the Star Forge's destruction. Still, there's the broad strokes of it all.

I really wasn't sure how this run would play out. How much XP would we get on Taris? How many Jedi levels would we be able to get? Had I a more solid idea it would've changed some of the things I took for granted. I managed to fully restore HK-47 before the Leviathan, but only just; I just assumed I'd get Master Valour at some point, but that power's not available until character-level 15! Stealth is more finicky in the early game, and there's a few annoying encounters on Taris who have +60 Awareness. But there comes a point where you can reliably count on it letting you delve through a dungeon, looting what you want.

In hindsight, I wish I'd repaired more droids. I avoided it because I didn't want to start fights, but had I realised that every little XP would matter come endgame, it definitely would've made sense to optimise them but not put them in patrol mode. I did all sidequests I could, but squeezing out the maximum XP wasn't something I prioritised early on. I also avoided XP leeching (e.g. triggering Canderous to fight against the rakghouls), which probably would've bumped my level up... and in turn, given me a free ride from character level 6 to 7 at Dantooine.

But hey. We did it. The constraints proved interesting enough. Did you know you can't access Yavin's shop after you get your fifth Star Map? There's also equipment that's useful -- but only available by killing. Goodbye, my Circlet of Saresh. But with a hundred medpacs and a bunch of drugs, no Sith Lord is completely invulnerable.

Originally posted on my Reddit, I’m now crossposting here for prosperity.

[marginalgloss]

It occurred to me recently that I haven’t posted here for about nine months, and that if you knew nothing about me except for this blog, you might think that it something of a cliffhanger that I ended it on a post about expecting the arrival of my first child. (Or perhaps that would have been an entirely fitting way to end it.) Either way: I am fine, and we are fine, and last November brought the arrival of my son Robin into my life. I have been very busy almost every day since.

There are a couple of cliches about parenting that remain indisputably true. The first is that they grow up so fast. And the second is that nothing prepares you for it. We thought we were entirely ready and pretty well informed but from his delivery onwards nothing went as planned. We thought we’d feed him when he was hungry, and we’d put him to sleep when he was tired; and change his nappies, and play with him, and love him; and what else was there to it, really?

It turns out there is a lot more to it than that. Before Robin I never realised how polarised, how strained and how political people’s feelings are about matters of childcare. We’ve ended up raising him in ways we had never previously considered, partly out of necessity, and partly out of the kind of habits that grow into paths of desire across the days. Consciously or not I judge people who do things differently, and no doubt they judge me too. In spite of the reams of available literature it turns out that for many things — perhaps even most things — there isn’t necessarily a right or a wrong way to proceed.

Here is a third cliche that turns out to be extremely valuable: every baby is different.

The question of literature is a tricky one. In search of assistance I read a few parenting manuals; some of these turned out to be better than others, but I’ve yet to find a good book about what it means to be a father. Most books aimed at new dads are of the ‘pull your socks up’ variety — the kind of thing where the author imagined it thrust upon some feckless deadbeat by a weary spouse. But, being reasonably conscientious, and looking for something with a bit more depth than a guide to how to change nappies, I’ve found most books about parenting have little of interest to say to new fathers.

Being a dad is an odd thing to write about. I’ve read and heard people talk about how new mothers ought to be proud to be joining a kind of grand universal maternal tradition, one which predates even humanity itself. (Animals surely know about babies; witness my cat Louie’s endless patience with Robin’s various attempts to pull his ears off.)

People do not generally talk about the grand traditions of fatherhood in this way. And for good reason: a lot of men today wouldn’t be happy to follow the example of their own fathers, let alone imitate the conditions of detachment and distance that defined fatherhood for centuries. I want to say that expectations of fathers today have never been higher; but this is only because for most of recorded history, we had no expectations of fathers at all. In the space of perhaps two or three generations we have gone from the idea that a father should only have to provide for a child’s upkeep (and not slap them around too much) to a very immediate understanding of dadhood as a central plank of parenthood.

Perhaps a lot of this speaks more to my own insecurities than it does to anyone else’s. Still, I feel like there’s an easy camaraderie between mothers that isn’t apparent between fathers. My wife has developed a little circle of local mums with whom she’s in constant communication, whereas the WhatsApp group we created for the fathers in our NCT group has languished in silence. I don’t really have anyone with whom to compare notes. And what would we say if I did?

The pandemic has put us in an unusual situation. Ordinarily I would have had two weeks’ paid paternity leave, plus any holiday time taken alongside that. So I took three weeks off work — but I’m still working from home every day, as I have been since March 2020. This means that instead of watching me disappear to work five days a week, my son has spent every day of his life together so far with both his parents. I don’t even know where to begin with writing about the way this has changed us; perhaps I won’t know how to talk about it until it comes to an end.

It does mean that parenting feels like it has consumed my life in ways that might not have otherwise been the case. Being at home for so long with a new baby was a remarkable opportunity, and in the early days — through winter and the Christmas lockdown — it didn’t feel like I was missing out on much. Things are a little different now. Every absence independent from my family feels like it requires a negotiation as much with myself as with anyone else. And I don’t only mean literal absences. Someone new has come into my life and they have no tolerance for anything else that might be meaningful to me. So many of the things against which I used to define myself have necessarily had to be neglected.

It goes without saying that I haven’t written much. Whatever free time I have at the moment is normally spent collapsed in an exhausted heap on the sofa, watching TV. I can count the number of books I’ve actually finished in the last eight months on one hand; I have started and set aside perhaps two dozen. I feel very remote from the person who spent several years documenting here every book he finished.

Games have fared a little better. In the early days, when I found myself with some late night hours to myself, I picked up the remastered Bioshock collection. It took me months, but I eventually finished all three: the first game is a masterpiece, the second is a very decent sequel, and the third is probably the greatest missed opportunity in all of gaming. (I ended up writing several thousands of words about the games, over the course of weeks — the only thing of substance I’ve written since Robin was born, in fact — which I since abandoned, in a fit of self-doubt and impatience with my own tortuous style.)

But I mean it when I say that the first game is a masterpiece. I had forgotten just how immensely absorbing it is — a journey into another world that’s less realistic than it is gloriously theatrical. Every time I think about it I feel like I want to replay it again. And it never really occurred to me before that Bioshock is about parenting as much as it is a picture of Objectivism in decay. It hits different now, as the kids say.

While driving over the weekend I passed the word ‘DADDY’ outlined in rich pink flowers, laid in memorial at the centre of a roundabout. It made me flinch. Every time I see that word in whatever context it seems to come with an intimation of departure. And in the same way every time I think about this game it seems laden with the feeling of a dying fall that nobody ever really seems to talk about. You play as a kind of genetically modified clone, returning home to his unwelcoming father and near-absent mother in a demented inversion of the Odysseus tale; and the only good you can do in this world is to rescue the handful of innocents left within it. You have to become a father yourself, in a sense. But your days are numbered.

The ending of the original Bioshock is often written off as a bit of a joke. You fight a deliriously incongruous final boss, and then depending on your actions through the rest of the game, you get to see one of two final sequences. In the bad ending, the denizens of Rapture somehow steal a nuclear submarine, and it’s implied that something very bad follows. But the good ending has more to it than that. You return to the surface, and it’s implied that you adopt some of the Little Sisters you rescued down there as though they were your daughters. There’s a brief montage of scenes from an assortment of lives. A graduation. A marriage. A child reaching for a parent’s hand. And then a death bed. The hands of your daughters reach out for you one last time.

After perhaps twenty hours of gameplay this sequence is perhaps less than a minute long. It feels rushed, awkward, sentimental. But as a coda, it also has the outstanding benefit of being perfectly real.