#if only I could show this to my past self

[alinathinkstoomuch]

COMFORT IN YOU

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader (ex!reader, i suppose) summary: even though the two of you are no longer together, hotch can't help the fact that he still has the need to comfort you. warnings | an: lil hurt & comfort, two exes making soup together but they're still blatantly in love with one another, also pretty sure this is not the correct way to make soup i was really just saying shi to make them busy, yearning i suppose?? word count: 2k

✧ masterlist

You were having what you could only describe as a series of bad days. There were no particular causes or events for them, just the uncomfortable feeling of a heaviness in your chest. There wasn’t anything glaringly wrong, but there wasn’t much that felt right, either.

For the past week, you’d been snoozing your alarm until the last possible second. Mornings turned into rushed scrambles - brushing your teeth and hair the only boxes you’d managed to check before bolting out the door. You hadn’t bothered with makeup or a decent outfit in days, simply because nothing seemed worth the effort.

You knew the feeling would pass eventually, it wasn’t a constant thing. Every now and then, you just felt…off. Like you were watching yourself from the outside, going through the motions but not really present.

You were sure there was a word for it. Something detached and clinical - Spencer had once mentioned it on a flight home from a case. The memory hovered at the edges of your mind, but you couldn’t find the energy to chase it down just to label what you already knew.

You just didn’t feel like yourself.

“You’re not seriously staying here past five on a Friday night, are you?” Penelope asked, using your desk as a dumping ground to sort through her large purse.

You glanced up with a tried smile. “No, Pen. Just finishing up. I’ll be out of here soon.”

“Okay, sugar,” she said in what was supposed to be her warning voice – though, like everything Penelope said, it came wrapped in warmth and sweetness. “Promise me you’ll go home, take a nice hot bath, light some candles –” she fluttered her fingers animatedly, “–and show yourself some love.”

You arched a brow. “Is this your subtle way of telling me I look like shit?”

She gasped, swatting you lightly with her pink glasses case. “I would never use such language. But also…yes. A little bit.”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes, giving her a full performance of your pretend annoyance.

Penelope just grinned, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Text me when you get home. And take care of that beautiful face, okay?” She reached out, giving your chin a playful squeeze before blowing you an air-kiss. “Self-care, my love. Don’t make me come over there and enforce it.”

“Yes, boss,” you said, standing from your seat. “Have a good night, Penny.”

Once she was gone, you stacked the last forms for your report into a folder, quietly relieved that Hotch wasn't in his office to hand it in to. It had taken you far longer to complete than usual - in fact, you were pretty sure yours was the only report he was waiting on to close out the case.

He wouldn't have given you a hard time about it – he never had – but still, you didn't want him thinking you couldn't handle your workload. Not when you both agreed the job was too important to let anything, especially your relationship, interfere with it.

You made your way into his office, the lights still on despite the fact that he'd stepped out for a meeting hours ago. It should've felt strange being in his space. Working with him. Seeing him every day, even after the two of you had mutually agreed to call it quits. But it didn't feel strange at all.

If anything, your relationship with him had stayed almost exactly the same. The only real difference was that you couldn't crawl into his arms at the end of a long day - and that was okay, or at least you had spent a lot of time trying to convince yourself that it was. You were both adults. Mature. Maybe a little too career-hungry.

You'd given it your best shot for almost a year, and it just didn't work. That was it. There wasn't anything more either of you could've done – or, if you were honest, wanted to do. Maybe if you'd both been accountants, or if one of you had decided to transfer out of the BAU, it might've worked. But neither of you wanted that.

You both loved the job exactly as it was.

So you let go.

And maybe that was love too, in its own way.

You left the report neatly on his desk, then made your way back to your own. After packing up your things, you headed out, the building quiet behind you.

On the way home, you stopped by the grocery store near your place, telling yourself you'd pick up something for a proper dinner. But somewhere between the fluorescent lights and the half-empty shelves, you settled on a frozen meal instead. Very high-nutrient of you, truly.

By the time you got home, you didn't even bother unpacking your haul. You just dropped the bags on the countertop and left them there, your keys landing beside them with a dull clink. You headed straight for the bathroom, aiming for a quick shower and could practically hear Penelope rolling her eyes at your refusal to take a proper bath.

It couldn’t have been later than eight when a knock echoed through your home. Your slippers dragged softly across the wooden floor as you made your way to the door, unsure of who you were about to find on the other side. Perhaps it was Penelope, coming over to check whether the bath salts she had given you for your birthday had finally been put to use.

But when you opened the door, it wasn’t Penelope standing there.

It was Hotch. Still in his work clothes, with a brown bag tucked under his arm.

“Well, fancy seeing you here,” you greeted, opening the door wider to let him in.

He stepped inside without a word, moving through the space like he’d never left it. Like it still belonged to him, at least in some small way. And maybe it did. For a while, this had been his second home.

You watched him cross to the kitchen, settling the bag down beside your still-unpacked groceries.

“No Thai?”

“Not tonight,” he replied, slipping off his jacket. “I thought I’d make soup.” His sleeves were rolled up before you could even respond and he was at your sink, using your soap to wash his hands to make you dinner.  

You really couldn’t make this up.

You took a seat on the bench, folding your legs beneath you as you watched him unpack the contents of the bag. “Did you read my report?”

He didn’t look up as he pulled out a bundle of parsley, a container of chicken stock and various vegetables. “I did.”

“Am I going to have to redo it?”

He glanced at you then, the faintest trace of amusement crossing his face. “No,” he said. “It was good. A little rushed, maybe – but not wrong.”

You gave dry laugh. “You can tell me to redo it, I promise I won’t get mad.”

“I know you won’t, but I also know when you’re not at your best. And I’m not going to punish you for having an off week.”

You nodded slowly, watching as he moved to grab a cutting board.

After a moment, you spoke again – softer this time. “You won’t be able to do this forever, you know.”

His eyes met yours again, but he stayed silent.

“I’m serious,” you went on, offering a small smile. “What happens when you start dating again? You’re just going to keep showing up at your ex-girlfriend’s house with soup ingredients?”

“I don’t think dating is in the cards right now.”

You tilted your head, teasing gently. “Why not? Did I leave you that emotionally wrecked?”

He shook his head with a quiet laugh. “No, you didn’t. It’s just…not where my focus is.”

You clicked your tongue, reaching for an orange from the fruit bowl. “Well, that’s a shame. Because dating is in my cards,” you revealed, digging your thumb into the skin and starting to peel.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Thinking of going for a broker this time,” you mused, not looking at him as you pulled off a strip of peel. “You know, mix it up. Maybe someone who doesn’t alphabetize their spices.”

“And you’d be happy with a broker?”

You shrugged, glancing up at him as you popped a piece of mandarin into your mouth. “Who knows.” You chewed slowly, then added with a smirk, “I can easily picture you with a nurse. Or maybe a doctor. Wouldn’t that be fun? We could do double dates, your nurse-doctor, my broker. Very grown-up of us.”

“I don’t think I’m built for double dating.”

“No,” you agreed. “You’d probably scare my broker away.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

You paused, taking the time to eat your second piece of mandarin. “Depends.”

“On?”

“How much I like the broker."

He didn’t respond right away, turning back toward the stove. “Where’s your big pot?”

“Exactly where you left it,” you replied, watching as he moved toward the lower cabinet, like he still remembered this kitchen better than his own.

And the truth was, this – whatever this was – probably wasn’t the healthiest of situations, and it wasn’t making moving on any easier for either of you.

But it was what you knew. What you remembered.

And if this was the version of him you were allowed to keep, you’d take it. You weren’t ready to go back to a life without him, not yet. Not when he still offered pieces of himself and not when you still kept saying yes.

“Do you need any help?” you asked, rising to your feet, your knees clicking in protest.  

“Always need your help,” he responded – just a little too casually. You knew he hadn’t meant for it to land as heavily as it did.

You gathered the orange peel and turned to toss it in the bin, just as Hotch stepped back from the stove. And suddenly, he was right there – in front of you. His eyes found yours and held them, like he was reading something you hadn’t yet decided to say. He’d always been good at that, seeing things before you did. Predicting thoughts you hadn’t even fully formed.

“Have you been sleeping?”

You nodded, brushing past him to rinse your hands. “Like a baby.”

He turned just slightly, enough to catch your expression. “That’s a no, then.”

“It’s hard to get comfortable on a bed that’s broken,” you said, equal parts explanation and blame. And while you wished it was a great sex story you were referring to…it wasn’t. You’d asked him to hang a frame above your bed. The next thing you heard from the living room was a loud thud – one of the bed legs snapping clean off.

“Hey, I fixed what I broke,” he offered.

Ha.

“Not very well,” you muttered, drying your hands. “Where do you want me?”

Hotch paused mid-motion as he added vegetables to the pot, eyes flicking up to meet yours.  

“In terms of helping,” you added, arching a brow like it was his mind that had wandered.

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Right.” He nodded toward the cutting board. “You can shred the chicken.”

You did as you were told, moving to stand next to him. Your elbow brushed his now and then, neither of you bothering to move away.

“You still do this thing,” you said after a moment, not looking up. “Organising everything before you start. Like you’re in a restaurant kitchen.”

“It saves time,” he reasoned, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

“It’s kind of endearing.”

“You used to call it controlling.”

You shrugged again. “I don’t recall.”

“Just like you don’t recall watering the basil?” His eyes moved to a pot on the windowsill, it’s leaves wilted, dropping sadly.

“You’re welcome to take it home with you.”

He raised a brow. “And let it die under my care instead?”

“Seems fair. Full-circle moment.”

Your elbow brushed his again and the two of you fell silent.

“...You okay?”

You didn’t look at him. “Yeah.”

“You sure?” he pressed, gentler now.  

You nodded, still not meeting his eyes. “Yeah. I mean… not great, but – functioning.”

“Is there anything that I can do?”

You glanced up, offering a tired but genuine smile. “Just make sure the soup’s good.”

“It will be,” he assured you. “I know how you like it.”

And he did – because he still remembered all of it. Everything you liked, everything you didn’t. What you tolerated with a tight-lipped smile and what you outright hated. He hadn’t forgotten a thing.

And as you stood there, watching him move through your kitchen like he still belonged in your home, in your heart, you couldn’t help but wonder how many more times the two of you would let yourselves end up in moments like this.

tags - @fandomscombine @dohmeti @pastelpinkflowerlife @hazzyking @bernelflo @risenqueen1521 @jazzimac1967 @camihotchner @abschaffer2 @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @pacmillo-blog-blog @stilestotherescue

(please lmk if you want to be removed from the general tag list & just be kept on the fake finance tag list)

[neeeooon]

hey! can you do barou, karasu, bachira and ness reacting to reader receiving so many valentines chocolates and confessions, like a ridiculous amount … 😭

thank uuuu!

ywwwww thank you for the request!! 💕

when you receive a lot of valentines chocolates

bf bllk x gn!reader who’s popular w the lads

barou shouei

-> barou already knew you were going to receive valentine gifts from people who aren’t him, but he wasn’t expecting the sheer amount of chocolate until picking you up from your final class of the day

-> “woah,” he blinks at the mound of cocoa on your desk, and you flash him a sheepish smile. “most of it is from my friends, trust!” you sift through the confessions with a sigh. “these aren’t, though.”

-> barou scoffs and takes them when you hold them out for him. “‘y/n, you have such pretty eyes. let’s go out.’ they do know you have a boyfriend, right?”

-> you quietly stand to loop your arms around his waist and force him to look at you. “you get this little crease between your brows when you’re jealous or riled up,” you muse before poking the crease. “it’s cute.”

-> he weakly tries to push you off, though it’s clear he doesn’t want you to go anywhere. “whatever… we’ve got a lot of chocolates to go through.” “i hope you’re hungry!”

karasu tabito

-> he isn’t fazed by your pile of candy and confessions. if anything, he finds it funny that pathetic little boys think they still have a shot with you with him in the picture

-> steals candies off your desk throughout the entire school day. you have to smack him away multiple times, but your shared, secretive grin is enough for him to know you aren’t actually upset

-> by the end of the day, you have to drag a complaining karasu home. “ugh, my stomach aches, y/n!” “maybe you shouldn’t have eaten so much candy, tabito!” “i was checking to see if they’re poison ‘er not!”

bachira meguru

-> when bachira turns the corner to your classroom, he freezes mid-step at the ungodly amount of chocolate and handwritten notes on your desk

-> “uh.. what’s up, y/n!” you hurriedly wave him over, excited to share your goodies with him. “bachi! thank goodness, i saved all the caramel-filled ones for you. if we split these between both our bags, we should be able to carry it all to the bus in one trip!”

-> it warms his heart a bit that despite the amount of people trying to steal you away from him, the only thing on your mind is saving the caramel-filled chocolates for him

-> eagerly shoves half of the pile into his backpack. “here! i’ll carry your bag, too!” you open your mouth to protest, but end up carrying both your and bachira’s notebooks to make room in the bags for all the candy. “we are getting sick, tonight!”

alexis ness

-> he gets so self-conscious, especially when he shows up with a handmade bouquet and matching plushie keychains from a cartoon you watched together. how could he forget to get your chocolate?!

-> he’s about to throw the flowers away when you spot him past your mountain of candies and confessions. “ness! oh? what are you standing all the way over there for?”

-> you crumple the confessions into a tight ball and toss them into the recycling bin before turning your attention to your blushing boyfriend and the items he’s trying to hide behind his back. “whatcha got there, lexi?”

-> he stammers for a reply before giving up and dragging the gifts in front of him with slumped shoulders. “sorry, i forgot the chocolates. you don’t have to keep them if you don’t—“

-> he’s cut off when you fling your arms around him in a tight hug. “the keychains! they’re from our show, right? and the flowers! i love them!” “b-but i forgot the cho—“ “good thing we have plenty right here.”

[bakuhve]

i just. i just think katsuki would be the absolute best boyfriend in the world.

but at the same time… like.. it’s gonna take a fat minute to get to that point. my katsuki and reader are always gonna have the dynamic of she fell first and hard but he fell absolutely harder. like face smashed into the ground, concrete cracked beneath his body, harder.

your story was never mutual love at first sight, no. you fell first. the kind of fall that leaves you breathless and stumbling, but still willing to get up and run straight toward him again.

you admired katsuki in every way imaginable. his strength, his drive, the way he never wavered even when the whole world seemed to be against him. your admiration turned into something deeper, something that made your heart squeeze and stomach flip. and you didn’t bother hiding your crush.

why should you? why would you ever keep your adoration for the man you loved a secret?

so you let it show. you gravitated towards him during class breaks, in the little favors you did for him without him asking, in the shameless way you told him over and over again that you liked him.

but back then, katsuki was an idiot.

a dumbass so hyper-focused on hero training and his own ambitions that he barely spared a thought for anything else. he knew you had a crush on him- how could he not? but at the time, he equated it to nothing more than annoying persistence. some stalkerish, over eager need to be by his side.

and oh, how he wants to throttle his past self for thinking this way.

because somewhere along the line, after countless battles, after seeing you at your highest highs and lowest lows, after realizing that no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t shake you off- he started to not mind your presence.

then he started looking for it.

started craving it.

and like that, he fell.

only by the time he realized it, you weren’t the one constantly chasing anymore.

now it was him hovering near you at all times, subtly making excuses to be closer. he stole glances, catching himself staring at your hands and wondering what it would be like to just hold them.

and when you finally got together, when it turned into something real, katsuki was left fumbling into unfamiliar territory.

because he had no experience being this stupidly and sickeningly in love.

was he doing this right? was he too much? was he not enough? what the hell did a girl like you see in him?

and most of all, were his hands too damn clammy to be holding yours right now?

but then you squeeze his hand. and he squeezes yours back.

and just like that, all his doubts settle. because you’re his person. and he’s yours.

but yeah anyways lovesick reader and even more lovesick katsuki on top

[wbbpls]

Platonic Plus One

Chapter 11

Word count: 4300 another day of them hopelessly falling in love and being dumb about it. Only 2 more days before the wedding day...will they figure it out?

After getting massages, Azzi met up with the wedding party to finish planning the party tomorrow night. Then, the girls spent the rest of the day by the pool. The wedding is in three days, so they’re enjoying the calm while they can before going back to school. Azzi was floating on an inflatable, quietly enjoying herself—almost too quietly. As soon as Azzi started considering why it was quiet and where Paige might be, she was suddenly flipped over into the water. 

When she came back for air, she immediately recognized Paige’s laugh mixed with her brother's. 

“What the hell?!”

“Sorry, baby, we just had to. You looked too peaceful.”

“It was Paige’s idea!” Jon and Jose say in unison. 

“What?! Bro, it was deadass not my idea.” 

“Really, Paige?” Azzi gave her a stern look, trying not to crack a smile. 

“No, no, it was Tim’s idea! I swear on my knee.” Jose and Jon can’t stop laughing, and they can hear Tim cackling in the background. 

“It doesn’t matter who’s idea it was. You still did it. Plus, you got me all wet.” Azzi crosses her arms.

As soon as Paige smirked, Azzi realized the words had left her mouth. “Oh yeah, did I?”

Azzi starts blushing profusely. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“You sure bout that, mama?” Paige puts her hands on Azzi’s waist, pulling her in. 

“Ew, dude, that’s my sister.” Jose splashes water at Paige, getting Azzi even more wet. 

“Okay, that’s it! I’m done here.” 

“Ugh, see what you did?” Paige splashes him back. 

“Nah, just go be your simp self, and she’ll be fine.” Paige rolled her eyes and went to the edge of the pool, watching Azzi walk and sit down on the lounge chair. 

“P, stop staring.” Paige put her head down on the palm of her hands, smiling back at Azzi. 

“Nah, I’m good.”

Azzi couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the flirting and attention she’d been receiving from Paige since their massage. “Alright, Paige, c’mon. Come join me.”

“Gladly, pretty girl.” Paige pushes off the side of the pull, showing off the muscles in her arm, then the tightening of her abs. Azzi couldn't look away even if she tried. As Paige stands up, she notices Azzi looking down her body and smirks. 

“Enjoying the view?”

“W-what, no! Ugh you’re so cocky.” 

“Mhm, sure.” 

Paige grabs a towel, half-dries off, and sits next to Azzi. 

“Paige, you’re getting me all wet again. And don’t be a smart ass.” Azzi throws another towel at her while Paige bends over laughing. 

When she catches her breath, she shrugs and says, “Hey, I guess I just have that effect on you.”

“Not another word, Bueckers.”

“Alright, alright.” 

Azzi picked up her book to continue reading. She got through one whole page before Paige started bothering her again. 

“Hey, Azzzzziiiiiii.”

“Yes, Paige?”

“Wanna do somethin’ fun tonight?”

“Hm, like what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe there’s an arcade or somethin’ nearby. I have felt lost without competition these past few days. I could really use beating you at something.”

“Okat first, rude. But also, that sounds fun, so fine.”

“Aye, that’s wassup.” Paige excitedly stands to gather their stuff and, sadly for Azzi, puts her clothes back on. 

“Yo, Jose and Jon! We goin’ to an arcade tonight. Wanna come so I can beat your asses?”

Azzi mutters under her breath, “Oh god, what did I just sign up for?”

“Nah, baby, it’s gonna be fun. Wanna invite some of the wedding party and make it a thing?”

“Sure, Paigey, I’ll text Jake, and he’ll probably get everything together,” Azzi replies softly, enjoying the term of endearment. 

“Bet.” 

================================================

The girls, Azzi’s brothers, Jake and his girlfriend, and a few other people from the wedding party joined them at a local arcade. This isn’t typically Azzi’s scene, but Paige turns into a happy little kid at arcades, and who is she to deprive her of that?

“Oh, shit they got laser tag!” 

“I call dibs on shooting Paige and Azzi!” 

“Damn Jon, you were a lil too ready go there,” Paige says as she fills out her waiver. 

They all start to put on the vests as they listen to the instructions. Paige leaned over to whisper in Azzi’s ear, “Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll protect you.” 

It’s like Paige has been determined to get Azzi to blush this entire day, and each time Azzi gets flustered, it gives her more and more confidence. Might be time to humble her a little bit.

“Oh yeah? You gonna be my night in shining armour?” 

“As long as you’re my princess.” Okay, yeah, Paige won that one. 

The teams split up, starting on the respective sides of the room. Once the buzzer sounds, telling them to go, Paige screams at the top of her lungs “LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOO!”

It's moments like these that Azzi finds herself falling for Paige. Moments like this tell her that Paige isn’t just a best friend. Paige is sprinting, jumping, and rolling as she dodges and shoots everyone. Azzi will never tell her, but she’s surprisingly good at this. Azzi got both of her brothers out twice, so now they were on the hunt for her. They started to sneak up on Azzi, and then suddenly Paige dove in front of her, shooting both of her brothers and getting shot herself. Azzi runs to kneel down next to Paige.

“Paige! Are you okay? I can’t believe you just dove like that to stop them from shooting me. You could have gotten hurt!” 

“Anything for my princess.” 

Their eyes are locked in as everything around them fades away. Paige’s eyes dropped down to Azzi’s lips. “Do I get that true love’s kiss for saving you?”

“I think that can be arranged.”

Azzi closes the gap, softly kissing her. Paige moves her hand to go behind Azzi’s neck. Before either girl could deepen the kiss, their vests light up red, and they hear a loud beep. When they break apart, Jon and Jose are standing over them with evil smiles. 

“That’s what you get for bein’ a simp!” 

“That’s it. Y’all better run.” Paige books it towards them, and Azzi adds this moment to her list of reasons why it's so easy to be in love with Paige. Azzi froze, realizing the thought she had. She just admitted to herself that she’s in love with her best friend. And for the first time, that didn’t scare her. 

The lights turn back on, signaling the end of their game. Their team won by a landslide, thanks to Paige, giving her an ego boost no one needed. They all split up, playing games until Jose comes up to them.

“Guys, there’s basketball! Bet I can beat you both.”

Azzi laughs, “That’s actually comical. Let’s go beat these idiots.” The girls high-five and make their way over. 

Jose pushed Jon out of the way, “I call takin' down Paige. You can deal with Azzi.” 

“Bro, you know that’s not even equal.”

“I’m literally right here.” 

Azzi couldn't help but laugh at their banter and rub Paige’s back. Azzi grabs Paige’s chin, turning her head to kiss her. “You got this, baby.”

Now flustered, Paige scans her player card to start the game with a dopey smile on her face. She’s still smiling at Azzi and doesn’t even notice the timer started. 

“Distracted over there, Bueckers?” Jon laughs at her.

“Oh shit.” Paige focuses in and starts draining shots, catching up to Jose. In the last second, Paige lost by one point. 

“I BEAT PAIGE BUECKERS AT BASKETBALL!”

“What, no?! You cheated.”

“How did I cheat?”

“I was distracted when we started.”

“It’s not my fault you’re whipped for my sister.”

“Nah, rematch. Right now.” 

“Whatever, fine. Azzi, maybe you should leave so she can actually shoot.”

 “My girl ain’t no problem,” Paige winks as she wraps her arm around Azzi’s waist. “How about another kiss for good luck?”

Although caught off guard momentarily, Azzi got excited by the idea. “I don’t know...that last one wasn’t too helpful.” 

“And?”

Fair point. Azzi leans in to close the gap. As Paige went to move, thinking it would just be a peck, she grabbed her face and pulled her in for a longer kiss. 

“Now that’s lucky.”

“Can you guys stop making out so we can play, jeez.” Paige kisses Azzi’s temple and moves to scan her player card again. They both zone in, and without any distractions, Paige beats Jose by a landslide. When the buzzer goes off, Paige jumps up and down and then runs over to Azzi, picking her up and spinning her around. Giggles take over as Paige trash-talks Jose and leans against the table behind them after she puts Azzi down. 

“Okay, okay, Azzi, you’re up. Get ready to lose.” Jon says as he trades places with Jose. Paige leans against the table behind them after she puts Azzi down. 

“Real confident for someone who misses every other shot.” Azzi starts to walk over but then feels hands wrap around her wrist, pulling her in. She spun into Paige, settling between her legs. 

“Kiss for good luck, mama?”

Azzi beams and kisses Paige again. If you could even call it that, considering she can’t stop smiling. She pulls back and kisses Paige on the tip of her nose. “Thanks, cutie.”

Paige couldn't take her eyes off Azzi, mesmerized by her smile and confidence. She didn’t miss a single shot, and each one was all net. 

Standing next to Paige, Jose is smiling in disbelief. “Damn, that was—”

“Hot.” Something about hearing Paige so openly call her hot made her mouth go dry. 

“Dude, that’s still my sister.” 

Without taking her eyes off of Azzi, Paige responds, “The truth is the truth, Jose.”

“Okay, we can’t do this anymore. You guys are gross.” 

After a few more games, the group makes their way back to the property. Most of Azzi’s family is chatting in the lobby and drinking wine. The girls each pour a glass and join in. Azzi sits next to Katie, and Paige joins Tim on the other side of the room. 

“Hey, sweetie. How was the arcade?”

“Really good. We beat the hell out of Jon and Jose.”

“Real shocker there.” 

“Hey, Mom, can I, uh, talk to you about something?”

“Sure, wanna go for a walk?” 

“Yeah, that would be good.” 

Kaite and Azzi stood with wine glasses while walking around the large lobby. On their way out, Paige caught Azzi’s eye, offering her a smile as if to say, “I’m here.” 

“I really need to tell you something, and I don’t know how to, so now I’m just so confused.”

“Just say what you need to say, Azzi.”

“I’m in love with Paige.” 

“Okay...? I’m sorry, but what’s the problem here?”

“Paige and I aren’t actually together.” Katie looked at Azzi as if she had two heads. Azzi started babbling off an explanation as fast as she could, “I know, I know, I can explain. I just was so tired of the whole family constantly hounding me about my dating life and everything thought we were dating anyway so I went along with it, and now we’ve been pretending to be together all week, and nothing about it feels fake, and I don’t know what to do.” Azzi lets out a deep breath once she finishes explaining everything. 

“Wow, alright. That’s a lot to take in.”

“I’m really sorry for lying to you, Mom.”

“It’s okay, Az. Our family, especially your aunt, can be annoying, so I can’t even blame you. Look, I get all of this can be confusing, but honestly, I’ve been waiting years for you guys to finally get your act together and admit to being in love with each other.”

“Wait, really?”

Katie laughs at Azzi’s shock. “You guys have always just clicked. There’s something special there, so of course, once you guys cross that line, it opens up even more feelings.” 

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way and I ruin everything?”

“Azzi, I love you, but if you really think that girl isn’t head over heels for you, then you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”

“Gee, thanks, Mom.”

“You never noticed that any girl Paige started to date got jealous of the two of you, and the second they weren’t nice to you, she dumped them?”

“Okay, well, they objectively sucked.” 

“Fine, what about how many flowers and little gifts she buys you?”

“She’s a giver. She gives to everyone.” 

“Where are my flowers then?” 

“Ugh, if she really wanted this, she would have said so. She’s so much more experienced with this stuff than I am and always so confident. She would have made a move by now.” 

“Azzi, you and I both know that’s not true. You’re just using it to validate insecurities.” 

“Well, you don’t hold back, do you?”

“You’re everything to her, Azzi. What if she’s scared of ruining everything, too? You’re her constant. You’re what keeps her safe. You’re one of the only people she lets see her, really see her. Sure, Paige is all confidence, but how much of that is protection?”

“I guess I never thought of it that way. I know I’ve always seen her differently and Caroline has been on my ass about it since forever, but like, everyone saw this but us?”

“Dumb and in love, I guess.” Katie smiled at her daughter and pulled her in for a hug. 

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course, kiddo. Let’s get back to that crazy blonde. She’s probably hit her limit on time away from you.”

When they returned to the main area, Tim and Paige sang loudly as they poured another glass. 

“How long were we gone, and how many drinks have they had?”

“AZZIIIIIIIIIIII!”

Azzi giggles and walks up to Paige. “Hi, drunkie.”

“Hey, babygrl, I missed you.” Paige kissed the side of her head and pulled her onto her lap. 

“We’ve been together all day, P.”

“Okay, and? You didn’t miss me?” She says with a pout. Azzi’s heart melts, and she brushes her hair out of Paige’s face. 

“Yeah, I missed you.” 

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” 

“Me too, P.” Azzi traces her fingers down Paige’s arm and plays with the hair at the nape of Paige’s neck. The feeling of Azzi all over her sends Paige deep into the clouds. Maybe it wouldn’t be like this next week, but she would take advantage of it while she could. 

“Mm, that feels good, Az.” Seeing Paige’s eyes flutter closed as she relaxed into her made Azzi think about what her mom had said. They’ve always been each other’s safe space. Why should this be any different? Azzi leans in to kiss Paige. She very quickly kisses Azzi back. They’re still aware that Azzi’s whole family is around them, so they break apart and lean their foreheads on each other. 

“You’re really good at that.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, P.”

“Yeah, but I think I’m gonna need some more practice.” 

“Oh, yeah? That could be arranged.”

“It’s a date.”

“A date, huh?”

“How about dinner tomorrow night?”

“The dinner provided by my cousin?”

“Hey, it’s food.” Azzi rolled her eyes and went to stand up, teasing Paige, but she was quick to pull her back down. 

“Wait, I promise to buy you a legit dinner, just us, after the wedding, okay?”

“After the wedding?”

“Yeah, Az, after.”

“I’d like that.” The girls smile at each other and then return to the conversations around them. Once Paige finished her fourth glass of wine, Azzi stood up, grabbed Paige’s wine glass, and pulled her by her hand. “Alright, I think that’s enough for you. Goodnight, everyone!”

“Hey, I was drinking that!”

Azzi ignored her and kept pulling her towards the elevator. Once she pressed the button, Paige wrapped around her from behind and whispered in her ear, “You coulda just said you wanted alone time, mama.”

The elevator doors opened, and Paige wouldn’t detach herself from the younger girl. Once the door closed, Paige started to give Azzi open-mouth kisses on her neck, causing Azzi's breath to hitch.

“You’re so fuckin pretty, Az”

“Mm, P.” 

Azzi turned around, connecting their lips, taking her time kissing Paige. Paige pushed her forward, letting Azzi’s back hit the wall. Their kiss becomes deeper as their breaths become heavier. Paige bit Azzi’s bottom lip and sucked, causing a loud moan to come out. Azzi grabbed Paige’s hips and quickly changed their positions, pushing Paige up against the wall. She immediately attached her lips to Paige’s neck.

“Fuck, that feels so good.”

Azzi kisses under her ear and whispers, “You like that?”

“So fuckin’ much.” Paige moans out breathlessly. 

“Mm, good to know,” Azzi says smugly. She goes back to kiss her neck, but then the elevator dings. The girls start laughing, and Paige grabs her hand. “Let’s go, beautiful.” 

There’s a thick tension between them as they walk down the hallway. While Azzi unlocks the door, Paige’s phone starts going off. Suddenly, Paige’s entire demeanor changed. 

Paige’s whole body tensed, seeing all the headlines about her. Will she be able to bring home a national championship? Does she really deserve to hold the #1 draft slot? The past month, the pressures of everything have been crashing down on her, crushing her underneath endless expectations. She’s been so good at pushing it all aside, but those glasses of wine certainly didn’t help. This past week, being with Azzi, she forgot about it all. She finally felt like a normal person again. 

“You okay, Paigey?”

Paige snapped out of her thoughts, remembering how much she enjoyed Azzi. 

“Y-yeah, for sure.”

Azzi looks at her phone, reading the same headlines Paige read. 

“Paige, you know all that stuff is just outside noise, right?”

“I mean, is it? They have a point. How can I be #1 pick with no natty? Like, even saying that out loud sounds crazy.”

“Because you’re amazing, Paige. You’ve earned that spot, with or without the championship.” 

“Yeah, whatever.”

“No, not whatever, P. C’mon, talk to me.” 

Paige knew she should just talk to Azzi about it all. But telling her how she’s felt makes it all too real. Azzi has been nothing but supportive to her; she doesn’t deserve to hear all of Paige’s ungrateful complaints. Paige starts to feel heavy in the silence between them, so she does the one thing that’s worked all week. She kisses Azzi. 

Azzi was caught off guard, but then kissed her back. She could not resist Paige, but she could feel the frustration, anger, and sadness in Paige’s kiss. She pulls back, “Paigey, talk to me.” 

Paige shakes her head no while focusing on Azzi’s lips with dilated dark blue eyes. She’s so tired of feeling like this, like she has no control over her life. She just wants to not feel like this for one minute. She pulled Azzi back in for a rough kiss, pouring any emotion she had left into the kiss. 

“Pai—”

“Azzi, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Paige pushed back, grabbing at the back of Azzi’s neck to kiss her again. Azzi has no idea what to do. She’d never seen this side of Paige before. If she doesn’t want to talk, she takes it out on exercise and finds her way back to Azzi by the end of the day. Azzi kisses her back because it’s evident that’s what Paige needs right now. But the voice in the back of her head knows this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

Azzi pulls back harder this time, sternly saying her name, “Paige.”

“Please, Azzi baby, I need you right now.” Something about the vulnerability takes over the logical voices in Azzi’s head, and she kisses Paige back. Paige smiled under Azzi’s initiative and pushed her against the wall, kissing down her neck. She stops right under Azzi’s ear, biting and soothing the sting over with her tongue. 

“P-paige, fuck.” This just spurs Paige on, and she shoves her leg in between Azzi’s and starts grinding into her. 

“You’re so fuckin’ hot, mama.” Paige displayed her strength by picking Azzi up and walking her over to the bed. Azzi grips at her shoulders, taking in the feeling of Paige all over her. Their kisses turn sloppy as their tongues fight for dominance. This is all Azzi has wanted, but something feels wrong. When her back hits the bed, the voices warning her to stop this come front and center.

Azzi moves her lips off of Paige, which Paige takes as an opportunity to kiss her neck again. Paige is lost in her head, desperately trying to push back all her negative feelings. But any insecurity and doubt she’s ever had is fighting back full force. Azzi is the only thing she’s ever had that is good and pure. She needs all of Azzi. Paige starts to move her hand down to the top of Azzi’s jeans when Azzi’s brain finally catches up with her. 

“Paige, stop.”

Paige freezes, her dark blue eyes now looking so lost. “You don’t want this, do you?”

“W-what no, Paige, hold on.”

“Fuck, I’m so stupid,” Paige says with tears ready to fall at any moment and removes herself from Azzi, to sit at the edge of the bed. Of course the one thing Paige thought would always be good in her life, she fucked up too.

“Paige, stop, that’s not it I jus—” 

“Azzi, it’s fine. I messed up; no need for you to fix this, too. Just drop it.” Paige feels guilt more than anything now for putting Azzi in this position. She was so desperate to run from her feelings that now she was just hurting herself and her best friend in the process. 

“P...”

Azzi isn’t even sure what the right thing to say right now is. She wants to admit her feelings for Paige. Let her know that she’s all she wants, but there’s obviously something going on that she can’t understand. 

“I’m sorry for fucking this all up, Azzi,” Paige whispers and drops her head into her hands, resting on her knees. 

“Paige, you didn’t fuck anyhting up. Please, just listen to me, baby.”

Paige’s tense shoulders relaxed at the term of endearment as Azzi rubbed her back. Maybe she didn’t totally push her away.

“Look at me, P.” Paige hesitates but finally turns to look at Azzi, feeling some sense of relief and fear at the look in Azzi’s eyes. She’s not sure she can handle any more rejection. 

“Paige, please, just talk to me. You’ve been on and off reacting like this all month, overdoing workouts and spending all night in the gym. I want to be here for you, Paigey, but I can’t if you don’t let me in. 

Paige lets that sit, really sit. She knows Azzi is right and feels like she's ripping at the seams and trying to hold it all in. 

Azzi almost didn’t hear Paige respond with her tear-filled whisper, “I’m not good enough.”

“Oh, Paige, come here.” Azzi opened her arms, and her best friend fell into her, sobbing. “I wish you could see yourself like I do. You’re more than enough, P; you’re everything. People will always have something to say, and half the time, they’re not even right. You constantly have so much pressure on you, so please let me take it off you.”

Azzi lets the older girl sob in her arms. “Let it all out, baby, I’ve got you.” 

“I-I’m s-so scared to f-fail.” Paige grips onto Azzi’s shirt like it's her lifeline, desperately trying to catch her breath between her tears. 

“It’s okay to fail sometimes, Paige. It’s what makes you stronger. It’s what makes you the Paige we all fell in love with.” The Paige I fell in love with is on the tip of Azzi’s tongue. 

“I’m so scared of letting everyone down.” Paige finally looks up at her, with her beautiful bright blue eyes filled with tears streaming down her face. 

“I know, love, it’s a lot to hold onto by yourself. Let me hold onto it with you. If you let fear take over your life, you’ll find yourself at the bottom of a hole you dug yourself. We need to find your drive and passion again, and I promise you that the rest will come naturally. You’re never alone as long as I’m here.”

Paige lets her words settle, really taking them in before whispering, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Azzi says softly, cradling Paige’s face. Something about it felt like a promise. 

“C’mon, P, let’s get you to bed.”

The girls get in their PJs and slip under the covers. 

“Az?” Paige turned to face her best friend.

“Yeah?”

“Can you, uh, c-can you hold me?” This isn’t the confident Paige everyone is used to seeing. This is the Paige only Azzi has the privilege to see. 

“Of course, P.” Azzi opened her arms, and Paige immediately shuffled her way into Azzi, grabbing her shirt again for comfort. 

“I’m sorry, Az.”

“Don’t be. You’re always my best friend before anything. I’ll always be here for you.” Azzi squeezed her tighter, emphasizing her words. 

“Yeah, best friends.” Paige shoved her head further into Azzi’s neck, holding back more tears. Azzi runs her fingers through Paige’s hair and kisses her temple. 

“It’s gonna be okay, P.” 

Azzi isn’t sure who she's trying to reassure more, Paige or herself. 

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

COMFORTS OF HOME

oscar piastri x male!reader

request: Glad to hear you're out of hospital, hope you're okay!!! (I'm still freakin' sick. Better, deffo, but sick 🥲 and my computer half-stopped working so I'm stuck studying from my shoddy phone screen. ) Anyway. I come humbly asking for any and all Oscar comfort crumbs you can provide? Kindest regards, – 🎃

summary: your boyfriend takes care of you while you're sick.

warnings: sick!reader, mentions of different sickness symptoms, clingy!reader, mild implications of reader having low self esteem

word count: 448

oscar wasn't always very good with words.

he loved you—he truly did—he just wasn't particularly good at verbalising it. he much preferred to show you instead. you didn't do many expensive things together, because you never felt the need to. being home together or going out to a park or the beach … that was more than enough for the two of you.

tonight specifically, you were just spending a night in and watching a movie. oscar sat beside you. your legs tangled together under a blanket as the movie screen lit up the living room.

you hadn't been feeling great for a few days. you weren't too terribly sick, but it was enough that your head pounded and your bones ached. oscar was brilliant throughout all of it. he had so many activities planned for the two of you over the holidays. then, day two into your vacation, you got sick. a fever, a cough, and a headache that would not leave you alone. you felt awful—not least because you felt like you'd ruined the whole trip.

oscar assured you over and over and over again that you hadn't ruined anything. he made you soup, checked your temperature, and coaxed you into drinking plenty of water.

the movie played in the background. your head rested on oscar's shoulder, curled into his side as you blinked sleepily.

"you tired, honey?" he asked softly.

you hummed quietly, nuzzling your face into his neck. "hot."

oscar sighed and kissed your forehead. he winced slightly at the heat coming off it and gave you a sympathetic glance.

"i know," oscar murmured. "i'll get you some more water, okay?"

a mildly irritated noise escaped your lips as oscar tried to get up. you wrapped one arm around his waist and tugged him back, desperate not to be left alone. over the past week, you'd tried everything you could think of to get rid of this illness. painkillers, anti pyretics, soup … the only thing that made you feel better was to cuddle with your boyfriend.

"honey …" oscar chuckled.

regardless, he didn't really put up a protest. who was he to argue against medicinal snuggles for his sick boyfriend? he could never refuse you.

"what?" you whined, pouting at him. "'m sick. you should be nice to me."

"poor baby."

you huffed playfully at your boyfriend's teasing. nevertheless, the two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence with the movie playing in the background. oscar didn't pressure you to keep talking, or make you feel bad for getting sick on your trip. he never pressured you into anything.

oscar didn't say i love you often. but he showed it all the time.

©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!

author's note: i love cute n cuddly osc so muchhhh, i hope you're feeling better jacko!

comments + reblogs appreciated!

taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @ncrsbrg @spoonfulofmilo @justaf1girl @widow-cevans

[strangecreaturewrites]

mickey barnes x f/gn!reader ⊹ after your life is upended, you move to a new city to start over. you take a job at the first place that will hire you, which just so happens to be a dubious little bakery owned by two men named timo and mickey. pre-canon au. (18+) nothing crazy here, but it will be nsfw if i write more in the future. ( this fic was built off of some ideas i wrote down in my notes app over the past couple weeks, and i wasn’t sure if i wanted to develop it into something more. i could totally spin this out into something so much larger, i have several ideas for it, but i already have too many wips at the moment >.< ----- divider by saradika-graphics )

You knew the business was going to fail as soon as you set foot in the building. The place used to be a bakery, so it looked the part of a macaron shop, with its faded sea-foam green wallpaper and white counters and tables. But it lacked one crucial element: demand. No one even glanced at the storefront as they walked past, a detail you immediately picked up on during your interview.

But you needed the work, so you took the black T-shirt that would be part of your uniform and shook hands with your new employer, a man around your age named Timo. His business partner wasn’t around on your first day, but it wasn’t too long before you met him, too.

Mickey Barnes. You were obsessed from the moment you saw him, but not in the usual way. He was an awkward man, clumsy and self-conscious, but he was kind to you and easy to talk to. He had a pretty face, an unflattering haircut, and an earnest sort of demeanor you hadn’t seen in a long time, especially since you moved to the city. He was sweet, much sweeter than a lot of guys you’ve known. This sweetness pulled you in, made your heart flutter, made you curious — it even made it easier to show up for work most days, knowing you'd get to see him.

Personality-wise, your two bosses were like night and day. Timo was charismatic, witty, a people-person. A bit of a liar, a bit selfish. You didn’t trusted him too much, and working for him was… well, let’s just say, you had to deal with some dumb shit. He paid you in cash, and usually only after you hounded him for it.

While Timo stayed in the manager’s office all day doing who knows what, Mickey would stand behind the counter with you and talk. When a rare customer came in to buy something, he would box up their macarons while you rang them up.

You only worked there for a month, but in that short time, you got to know him well. You learned his favorite movies, the music he liked to listen to, the jokes that made him laugh. You knew he had no family, no relationships, no plans for more than what he already had in this phase of his life. You became familiar with the deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes when you told him he looked good, and you knew his ears would turn red if you pointed out when a customer was checking him out.

It was no time before you found yourself thinking about him in your bed at night, spinning fantasy after fantasy. Eventually, nearly every hour of the day was consumed by thoughts of him. He was just too cute. You imagined pushing your flirtations farther, wondering what he would do or say if you pressed his buttons enough. He didn't seem shy — just awkward.

Was he a virgin? No, no, you didn't think so. You wanted to ask him...

On the flip side, you were shocked by yourself! It never used to be this hard, keeping things professional, especially with your former bosses. (Then again, you've never been this attracted to someone you've worked for before.) You tried not to cross too many boundaries, but it was just too fun to tease him. Even when he seemed embarrassed, he laughed right along with you, so why stop? It made you feel good to have his attention, and he seemed flattered by the attention you gave him.

There were some times when you thought he was a little too easygoing, though. You quickly picked up on the odd dynamic between Timo and Mickey; they were friends, roommates, and the co-owners of this failing bakery, and it was clear to see who called the shots and who fell in line regardless of whether or not those decisions made sense. You often defended Mickey from his friend’s snide comments, but half the time he didn’t seem to care that he was being insulted. He would tell you not to worry about it, smiling his good-natured smile and waving his hand dismissively.

You wondered if Mickey was really unbothered, or if there was something he wasn’t letting you see.

The day you decided to quit, you told Mickey first. It was the end of your shift, the pink-purple sunset reflecting off the shop windows across the street. You just finished cleaning out the display case and boxing up the cookies that couldn’t be saved for the next day. Timo was in his office, and Mickey had just finished sweeping the pristine floors.

You thought he might panic and beg you to stay — you even hoped he might tell you he’d miss you too much for you to leave, or ask if there was a way he could see you outside of this place — but he just nodded, scrunching up his nose in a wince.

“Okay. That makes sense,” he said, almost as if he was apologizing to you. “I wouldn’t wanna stay either if I were you.”

You gave him a confused look. “You own the place, you could close shop and leave anytime you wanted.”

“Ah, well…” A blush crept across his face as he stumbled over his words. “It’s a little more complicated than that, with money, and- and we don’t exactly, uh- ‘own it,’” he stammered out, bringing his hands up to air-quote the last couple of words. You continued to stare at him, waiting for him to explain further, until he waved his hand, as if batting the prickly topic away. “Doesn’t matter. What I’m saying is, you have so many more opportunities. I don’t know why you applied here in the first place.”

“I needed a job,” you replied curtly, looking away from him. Why you moved away from your small town to the city, why you had to find work so quickly — it was a sensitive subject for you.

Thankfully, Mickey seemed to pick up on your discomfort.

After a tense pause, he cleared his throat, then asked, “What’ll you do next?”

You laughed humorlessly, pulling yourself up to sit on the counter by the register. He took a few steps closer, resting his hand on the edge of the counter near your knee.

So close… It’s been too long since you’ve felt anyone’s skin against yours, and he has been on your mind so much lately. You imagined sliding your hand over his as you answered him.

“Applications are supposed to be opening up soon for that expedition Kenneth Marshall is attempting." You sneered a bit as you said the politician's name, causing Mickey to laugh. “I’m gonna live on what’s left of my savings ’til then, and I’ll see if I can hitch a ride on that.”

“Doing what?”

“I was a paramedic before I started working here. I was a pharm tech before that.” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a sly smile curling at the corners of your lips. “You think they’ll need medics in space?”

“Definitely,” he replied, sounding a little awed, smiling that adorable smile of his. “They’ll be lucky to have you.”

You hummed, warmth blooming in your chest. Sometimes, his sincerity made you ache. You decided to make your move and put your hand on his, squeezing it gently. You told yourself it was just a way of saying thank you, even as your thumb slowly brushed his wrist, back and forth, over and over. The tips of his ears started turning pink, his wide eyes locked on your hands, and it made you felt powerful.

“Can I be honest with you? Because you’re a good guy and I worry about you.” When he nodded, you continued, “This place isn’t gonna last, Mickey. You need to get out of here, do something else.”

He rolled his eyes, grinning a little. “Like what?”

“Literally anything else. You could… I don’t know…”

He nudged your leg with his knee, his grin growing wider. “See? That’s the problem, I don't know either.” For a moment, he looked off toward the window, lost in thought. Then he shook his head. “Nah. I’m gonna stick this out with Timo. He’s my good buddy, I trust him.”

You scoffed. “Whatever you say.”

“He’s good to me,” he replied defensively, his brows furrowing. You couldn’t help but stare at his lips, set in a little, almost pouty frown. You thought about bringing your hands to his face, pulling him closer, when the electronic doorbell chimed.

Quickly, you leapt off the counter and whipped around to see two women lingering in the doorway. By their looks, they were in their early twenties, wearing short club dresses and heavy make-up. They were bright-eyed and beautiful, giggling between each other and looking around the mostly empty room. They seemed hesitant to come inside, making eye contact with you as if they were waiting on some instructions.

“Oh, hey, sorry, we’re closing in-” Mickey looked down at his watch.

In a jarring bit of motion-and-sound, Timo breezed through the swinging kitchen doors, past the counter, toward the women. “Don’t worry, Mick, they’re here for me.” 

“Oh, okay,” Mickey said faintly, startled.

You both watched Timo nestle between the women, his arms around their shoulders. Then, as if on cue, he winced dramatically and said, “Damn, I forgot to tell you, man. I need the apartment for the night. You know, company and all. You understand.”

Mickey blinked, giving a little shake of his head, then corrected himself. “Right. Yeah. That’s fine, I’ll figure somethin’-”

The trio were already turning to leave as Mickey spoke, Timo yelling over his shoulder, his voice overlapping Mickey’s, “Hell yeah, man, you’re the best. See ya tomorrow, Mick! And uh, you too…”

Even after a month, he still didn’t remember your name. Why are you not surprised?

“Asshole,” you snarled, watching the trio strut past the window. You turned to Mickey, who still looked a little baffled. “Do you have somewhere to go?”

He shrugged. “Nah, but it’s not a big deal. Usually I just walk around for a few hours, then I sneak in at around two or three. Hell, I can sleep here if I gotta.”

You stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to say he was joking. When he only stared back, his blue eyes so full of that earnestness you’d grown to associate with only him, you grabbed the boxes of extra macarons and told him, “You’re coming home with me.”

“Oh! Uh-”

“Hush. Come. Now.”

He scrambled to keep up with you, barely remembering to lock up in his haste. You smirked, feeling that private sense of power once again. But there was also excitement — finally, you would get to have him all to yourself.

( i planned a sex scene for this, but i tragically lost focus and i don't even know if this would be interesting to anyone, so if you want to see more, please tell me! i want to write so much more for this, but i am not a self-sustaining machine, lmaoooo )

[kingarmorking]

How do you feel about suo character? Do you feel his arc will start after kiryuu?!

Suo! my little shit! my favorite instigator!

jokes aside i love Suo! he's an incredibly interesting character and not just because we know jack and shit about him

he's a good foil to both Sakura and Nirei and i would love to study him under a microscope and all three of them play off each other So Well

Suo was really the one to break the ice when Sakura first arrived at Furin, which considering how Furin is probably wasn't really something that Sakura would've needed in the long run but it made things easier especially for Nirei's nerves

he does a lot of small things in the beginning (showing off how he can get people to accept his requests like he says himself side note love how both of these examples involve Sugi)

it's kind of funny in the way that Nirei's usually the first one to reach for Sakura (i talk about it more in my ramble here), Suo acts as the kind of bridge to allow Sakura to reach others or vice versa (others reaching to Sakura i mean)

during the grade captain vote, no one was speaking up to volunteer themselves or others and only when Suo volunteered Sakura did the others speak up to agree but also spoke highly about Sakura in the same vein or again going back to him breaking the ice with Sakura meeting the rest of 1-1

i love his relationship with both Sakura and Nirei (do not fucking separate this trio /hj) and how they both affect him

Suo's true emotions, hell possibly even his "real" self under all the masks he puts up, are brought out because of Sakura (his proclamation of taking the top spot and his clear, honest passion) and Nirei (running away from where Suo was protecting him so he could properly focus on the fight)

(anther side note i think this panel is one of the few times we've seen him lose his composure)

which actually kinda brings me to another point and it's a very small one but interesting nonetheless to me but it's the panel of Suo and Kaji training together

the matchup always intrigued me and im dying to know what the thought process was here (there's a fic that explores it here please im begging yall to check it out) esp going the route of both of them having smth that they want to hide (Kaji's berserker beast v Suo's merciless brutality) because they hate that particular version of themselves (though in Suo's case i dont think it's... hate but more like a general distain of it, not how one should properly act kind of thing) granted this is all hc'd territory so take it with a grain of salt

im certain that he envies / admires how Sakura and Nirei can be so open about who they are so authentically (and even push past their perceived limits) which im sure is what drew him to them to begin with (this goes into that beautifully) because whatever he went through has made it so he feels as though he cant be his authentic self

as for whether or not i think well get his arc after kiryuu... honestly i feel like his past might involve the Next Big Arc in a way? i know ive seen people speculate hes got connections with the yakuza and i could see that tbh

through my VERY CURSORY LOOK into leaving the yakuza, it doesnt... seem to be as a big a deal as i was expecting? if youve got a good relationship with the person you work under then its pretty easy for you to leave, though reintegrating with society is the hard part from there. i read that it is possible to just... kinda vanish too, though that wouldnt stop another member from tracking you down (and no fingers are being cut off)

if not a full blown yakuza, i could see Suo being part of a different gang and for one reason or another he left it so his former gang members track him down to either a. drag him back or b. punish him for leaving. not sure if his master would be part of said yakuza / generic gang or if his master is the one who got him out of there (which. hilarious if thats the case boy just went and joined another gang instead)

i dont know if his arc will start immediately after Kiryuu (i could see Nii-sensei throwing in a mini arc that leads into Suo's (like with Ito into Gravel)

whether or not it will though i love this silly lil guy! my craptastic gentleman son

[horse-girl-anthy]

the recurring scenes which depict young Shoma and Kanba in boxes are perhaps the most abstract in Penguindrum. since my first watch, I thought that they were difficult to place in the timeline, somehow occuring both within the story and outside it. after my latest rewatch, I think I can finally articulate what's going on with them.

the first time we see one of the boxes is in episode 22. it's introduced via the flashback indicator, informing the audience that this scene takes place 10 years in the past. Shoma is first depicted alone, wondering how he ended up in a box. it's not too hard to connect this to Sanetoshi's speeches about the box of the self. human beings are born into alienation, fundamentally separated from one another. then on top of that, we placed in boxes by society, alienated from ourselves and others. these two forms of alienation are represented by the way the boxes appear in the show: first blank, then with the Pingroup logo on them. young Shoma is coming into awareness of his family curse, the way that he will be defined by the world around him, which makes the bars of his cage all the stronger.

the next box scene is found at the end of episode 23. while these scenes are surely metaphorical, I think it's safe to say that this one depicts his first meeting with Kanba. Shoma becomes aware that there's another box across from him, someone else in the same situation that he is. this is an encounter with the Other, but not a total one, as they are still kept from one another by their boxes.

the rest of the box scenes are interspersed throughout episode 24. this implies to me a passing of time--Kanba and Shoma remain stuck in boxes throughout their childhoods--and that these scenes are in some way taking place concurrently with the events of the episode. notably, only the first scene has on-screen text establishing that the flashback is taking place 10 years ago. the others only have the short flashback indicator that usually plays before the text describing the scene to come.

from this point on, the timeline is fuzzy. rather than representing discrete moments, I believe these flashbacks are pointing to something larger about the relationship between the two boys, as well as Penguindrum's existential themes.

Shoma and Kanba aren't just cut off from the world--they're starving. certainly this can be taken as a metaphor for spiritual emptiness, but their suffering is, in the context of the narrative, very real. they are convinced that if they don't find a way out soon, they are going to die. they make a promise to one another: whoever gets out alive will send a message to the other's precious person.

right after they make this agreement, Kanba finds an apple in his box. this could mean that his connection to Himari is what saved him (after all, he did speak of Himari "giving" him something at their first meeting), or it could be totally random. whatever the case, Shoma is immediately ready to resign himself.

when I first watched the show, I thought that Kanba was chosen because he was picked to be the next cult leader. but if the apple is a form of spiritual fulfillment, this doesn't make much sense. now it seems to me that Kanba's almost frightened reaction to being told he's "chosen" is caused by a brush with cosmic unfairness. he's been chosen, but Shoma hasn't. what force decides such outcomes? random or planned, it's bewildering, arbitrary, and cruel.

but the story goes on, layering event on top of event, weaving the timelines together. Shoma realizes why he and Kanba met, that their beginning was their fate all along, and with Himari's help, he saves Kanba. only then do we see the conclusion to the flashback, where Kanba saved Shoma. next, we cut to Ringo, who echoes the words, "let's share the fruit of fate!"

the emphasis placed on the Kanba/Shoma relationship in these final epsidoes is crucial. at the end of episode 23, it looks like they're going to fight again, with Himari as the prize for the winner. but conflict was not what Penguindrum was really about. the box scenes reveal that the bond between the brothers was just as important as their bond with their sister. Kanba was willing to share his apple with Shoma, even if it made him half as likely to survive. and Shoma, so ready to give up and accept his fate, allowed himself to take Kanba's hand. all along, the siblings were giving to one another, and that is what allowed the spell to transfer fate to be cast.

if Penguindrum is about fate, then it posits that, no matter how cruel the world is, we do have free will. we can get out of our boxes. what was introduced via flashback is concluded in the new timeline; Shoma and Kanba deliver their message to Himari, having embraced death in favor of spiritual freedom.

[girlietips]

Big sister advice school addition 📖🖋️📚

Here is the next installment of my big sister advice for academics.

School is easy if you just do the work you should know everything for the test.

There is no reason (except for literally terrible teaching) that you wouldn’t know the concepts for the test unless you didn’t do all the work assigned to you.

Obviously this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t study or practice the skills but if you have no clue what could be on the test you didn’t do all the work.

But if you are struggling in the class there is no longer an optional assignment or an extra credit opportunity you aren’t going to do. Always do extra credit anyway because 102% before the final means you can relax for finals week. Plus the teacher will take note and you could probably get a letter of recommendation from them.

Having a predetermined homework time is the best thing you can do

No matter what do homework at that time. If you finished all the homework for the week do next weeks.

Mine were at 7am-9am (I work best first thing)on Monday and Friday and I had to work the entire time so I basically never had to work outside of those times except for studying and reading.

It only benefits you too be ahead.

If you have the ability (some courses are not laid out that way) to get ahead in work you should. Especially if you are given a list of all the assignments before hand.

It gives you the ability to take days off and knowing what the lecture is going to be on before you head in will help if you have a hard time focusing.

Even if it is just skimming the reading right before class it’ll help.

You are allowed to be disappointed in grades (even if they are still good grades)

This past term was the first term in college where I didn’t get a 4.0. I got an A- in chem and I literally was 5points away from an A. (Honestly a B would’ve been less devastating and I’m not being dramatic)

Even tho my gpa is perfectly fine I am allowed to be frustrated with myself because I know that that 5 points was easily attainable I just got lazy towards the end.

Don’t let people tell you you can’t be upset over a slightly low grade. But also don’t beat yourself up about it if you truly tried your hardest and did all you can do. There is a difference between a B where you worked for hours on end did all the assignments but the class is that difficult and a A- in an easy class but you allowed yourself to slack off. (Self call out lol)

But obviously don’t push this standard on other people cuz that’s rude. Even if you wouldn’t be happy with a B if your friend is celebrate celebrate with them. Don’t be a bitch

Be strategic in what classes you skip.

I am not going to be all high and mighty and say I never skip classes or try and tell you to go to every lecture no matter what. I barely showed up to my math class this term. But I still got an A because the class was assignment based and in a subject I can do in my sleep. I did all the homework and showed up for the tests and did great but if you can’t do that with a class don’t act like you can. Pick and choose your battles.

Never skip a class you struggle in!!!!!!

You never know when a teacher is going to say something that makes everything make sense. Or give you the best life hack ever.

Getting all your homework done before the weekend means you can have a social life.

If you want to have a good life/school balance you have to schedule when you complete things.

School should always come first so if you want to party that weekend you better finish everything by Friday.

Also not really school related but if you are gonna be a party girl in college (me too me too) don’t party everyday of the weekend!!!!!

It’s seriously unhealthy to consume alcohol like that consistently and guess what you can get burned out from too much partying just like you can get burned out from too much work. Even hot girls can be functional alcoholics and that’s not cute.

If you are going to make it an every weekend thing make sure it’s only one night. So you still have one day to recover from the party and one day to be productive!!! Obviously there are going to be some weekends (halloweekend) where people go out multiple days in a row and to that I say know your limits and be safe! Please please freshman don’t make halloweekend be the first time you drink!!!!

That’s all I have for school themed advice! Hope you all have great day!

Love you all Xoxo💋

[alsoanyways]

2017 v. 2024

[utilitycaster]

Sort of a distant tangent off my post about Ashton, but I'm growing more and more suspicious of the fandom claim that there's no time for small RP moments in Campaign 3. I do think that it's been challenging to get deeper party bonding or serious conversations that aren't about the big philosophical questions they're facing, since those do take much more time; but then I think about Calamity, or Candela Obscura. I can genuinely give you at least a couple paragraphs about pretty much every relationship in the two Circles, or in the Ring of Brass. I can also point to no shortage of small moments between characters in the Mighty Nein Aeor or Vox Machina Vecna endgame episodes, which were all extremely plot-heavy and fast-paced, and D20 consistently nails character relationships in a fraction of the time.

I think it really does come down to, as Brennan Lee Mulligan always says, the character creation phase. Laying down a solid groundwork in which everyone has a detailed, rich backstory and sense of personality and relationship history (in the case of characters who knew each other prior to the start of the series) is absolutely crucial, and even in the case of characters who don't know each other before going in, a good amount of time spent in character creation ensures that it's easier for them to develop those interpersonal relationships on the fly. I know in actual play there's some degree of finding the character as you play, but there are games for which there is a very short runway, and I don't think it ever hurts to do more extensive character prep than the bare minimum. And if there are gaps, I think it also helps to go back and fill those in mid-way, away from the table - Travis clarifying Chetney's backstory being a great example that allowed the history of Chetney and Deanna to feel realized and full, despite only a few episodes.

I'll also be blunt: most of the time when people complain that there aren't moments because the plot keeps moving...they're mad about shipping. Which has always rung hollow to me. It was a common complaint in C2, that no time was taken for character relationships, despite them taking an entire half of an episode for the Beauyasha date and despite no shortage of moments for all three of the other couples (and plenty of platonic moments between friends). The issue was never a lack of time; it was that the characters they wanted to talk to each other didn't actually have the relationship in canon that the fans had dreamed up, and so, when the chips were down, they went to other people.

It takes two seconds to say something like "I hold their hand", even in the middle of plot-heavy adventuring. If someone doesn't say it, it's rarely the GM rushing them; it's the player either choosing not to do so, or not remembering to do so, and either of those is quite revealing regarding how the player feels about that relationship and where it stands in their priorities.

[questwithambition]

This year I’ve been trying to embrace more and more the fun chaos of being in your early twenties and it’s such a delight. In the past week I’ve been to a gig and booked another one, a musical followed by a sleepover & staying up until 4am to sing and play the piano, museum coffee dates with friends, more sleepovers as I teach them crochet, carnival and drinks, having a 9pm nap followed by baking at midnight , saying goodbye to my current work project (and people!) and moving to a new one. And I’ve just finished cleaning the flat and putting a load of laundry on.

I wish I could show this to my 13 year old self. Life is chaotic and beautiful and messy and you’ll be so full of love.

[icewindandboringhorror]

What is this design even meant to be?? The family on this supernanny episode looks like they just have random rorschach tests plastered on the wall lol

[sealovinq]

i miss being here :((

[dramarants]

ah they just had the fiancee cheat with arguably the slimiest character in the show to try and balance out the leads finally kissing, all of a sudden spells aren't real and the curse is entirely forgotten they're solving everything with lazy ass writing okay

[23sanguinity]

The worst thing in fanfic is when you ship a poly ship but there’s not enough content for it so you read a fic with just two of the characters and they make another character you ship with both of them an ex? And it’s not the author fault, they weren’t writing for the poly ship but it still ruins what could have been a great fic because you don’t want them to be exs