#if not then oh well :') no hard feelings haha
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mangostarjam · 6 hours ago
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HIII MAO sorry this is getting tossed into queue so i'm not sure when it'll pop out but i am SO PUMPED to read it!! feel free to ignore this bc i will be. live blogging. stream of consciousness style. asdfjkl as is my way
buckle up @ myself bc we are in for a RIDE
gonna call reader "reader" so it doesn't get confusing when i say "you" as in "you, mao, the author" LOL okay so the e.e. ... KNOWS. what love looks like?? ough. ok my heart. it's been a while since i read these chapters and honestly i was probably reading the manga too quickly anyway bc it was soooo good. killing me that the e.e. sees people pressing their lips together and ASDLKFJS THE SHITTY WORM HAHA
ohhhhhhh and reader kisses him!!! makes me feel something crazy that reader has to explain things to the e.e. OH JIJI LOCKER ROOM SEX AAAAAAAH yes right good nice. i. love. that the e.e. demands sex. LMAO. i mean he doesn't get it but i love that reader "gives in" to his "demand".
sakljdfgjalf the e.e. thinking that hanging yourselves together is what marriage is. ough. poor ... entity. YOU NEED TO BE VENGEFUL TO HOLD ONTO ANYTHING !!! oh my GOD the distinction between what he thinks sex is — possession — versus what making love is with jiji — because reader glows — but with the e.e. reader is ... bruised and panting. i'm gonna punch a wall. shaking the e.e. by the shoulders (i would not do that he would kill me) but BUDDY MY GUY MY DUDE PLEASEEEEE.
oh jiji pov. ASLDKFJALKJ shit for brains oh sorry i am cackling. OKARUN CALLING READER WIFEY HAHAHAHA this is so funny you captured jiji's voice SO well augh. and then the sharp twist of the trauma he's been carrying?? i am slow clapping this is so good. "but why would jiji ever turn down so much collective joy?" brb i need to SOB. JIJI I LOVE YOU
asldkjflkgjkl turbo granny coming down with the hammer of logic. i love the in depth discussions here and the GHOST MARRIAGES!!! hell yeah give us that cultural insight i love this so much.
the fact that the e.e. agrees to let you come to the house only bc okarun is also there and could stop him is doing something funny to me. like. there is trust there (though idk if the e.e. realizes/recognizes that). plus he doesn't want to kill reader!! if that's not love, i dunno what is LOL
okarun whipped for momo confirmed !!
"FOR YOUR FUTURE WIFEY" HAHAHA
the repetition of "doesn't anyone love me enough to save me" is giving me chills forreal
and then the nuance of. the e.e. worrying for you. and attributing that to jiji. oof. oh hold on i need to wipe some tears from my eyes that was so heartwrenchingly tender. reader cradling his bones and carrying him out of the House??? [distant wailing]
CEREMONY TIMEEEE okay now i'm crying for a different reason i can't believe serpo is there asdkjfsdklafg man the pacing and the way you have breaks in the writing is so well done
OH FUCK YOU (said despairingly but with affection i promise)
ohhhhh my god i cannot believe this. reader having the. the "does anyone love me enough to save me" thoughts AND THEN THE REVEAL that reader REPEATS JIJI'S WORDS TO THE E.E.
PLEAAAAASEEEE oh my god i can never share my writing ever again it will never be this good (i will get over myself don't worry this happens to me all the time) sorry i am just typing stream of consciousness i need a minute. this hit me so hard i need to step away lmaoooo
okay i'm back
okay no the phrase "spending so long chasing golden balls and bananas" made me snort and choke on my tea i need to find a napkin
okay back again. i love the details of the wedding. the banquet in the back and the incense and the coffin. the repetition of "something has gone terribly wrong" is killing me the anticipation the build up whoa
ohhhhhhhhhhhh. oh he's greedy. oh but he loves reader so much.
okay i need to get up. i need to pace my house. what the fuck. oh that whole conversation was so. whoa. ouch. yeah. "to be honest, being cursed by you isn't nearly as frightening as being loved by jiji". mao you've ripped my heart into pieces i am. in awe. the... the distinction between the e.e. and jiji. the different ways they all love each other. the pain of being rejected but the understanding and the. the way that the e.e. expects reader to react. also the e.e.'s denial by attributing actions to the Vessel lmao.
ohhhh reader saw his true face at the altar and vowed to love him anyway oh my GOD MY HEART I'M GONNA CRY I HOPE THEY FIND SO MUCH LOVE TOGETHER
or not they can be cursed together too that works
THE E.E. CREAMPIES WE STAY WINNING
oh nice back to jiji i love him so much. this is beautiful i need a tissue. reader tells jiji that she's cursing him too??? my god. does the e.e. know that reader loves him?? the way you ended this i'm sobbing fuck. i know it's like. freaky ghost sex fic but you made it so heartbreaking heart ACHING the way they all love each other and accept each other and GET each other. i keep thinking about how reader repeats jiji's words while carrying the e.e.'s bones out of the House. fuck. and the way reader ASKS the e.e. to curse her. because that is how they understand love. and how reader LOVES JIJI !!! the way his heart feels lighter because she comforts him TOO even while she's interacting with the e.e. and jiji also having that side to him of just. loving so hard he wants reader to himself and is secretly glad for the curse. IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
oh author notes okay but i think the e.e.'s voice feeling a little awkward works for him though?? it's not like HE knows any better lmao. or like. even though they're all aged up, it's not like the e.e. developed mentally at the same rate! so i think it worked! ooooh i cannot WAIT for jiji companion fic dfsaklfgjfklsdjf also not your best writing?? well i loved it!! not everything needs to be "the best" though i know this is subjective! thank you so much for sharing it with us !!!!!! i had such a blast reading it i feel like i've gone through the full spectrum of emotions i feel like wrung out but in such a good way thank you!!
FUNERAL MARCH | evil eye x fem!reader x jiji
The Evil Eye doesn't love you. It's not in his nature as a demon, and he's not sure that it was in his nature as a human either. He wasn't loved and couldn’t love, and that's why he was given to the Tsuchinoko. But he likes to possess you nevertheless, and he often thinks about cursing you so that you’re bound to him. It would be the only way to keep you, because you probably don't love him, either—no human would embrace such a horrid and ugly existence. You just love the Vessel he inhabits. (Or: You and Jiji are now engaged. Of course, you have to ask the Evil Eye to marry you too.)
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10.8k words. romance, smut, mild angst & comedy. rough sex with the Evil Eye (piv, creampie, overstimulation, bizarre magic, cnc elements in the “nooo it's too much” kind of way, dubcon with the magic). content warnings: aged up characterization, implied past sexual abuse (not involving Jiji or Evil Eye), brief mentions of suicidality, religious references (Taoist ghost marriage), use of English idioms that don't translate well into Japanese (forgive me), canon-typical crass humour. mdni.
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I. THE GHOST
You’re in love with his Vessel.
The Evil Eye is well-aware of this. He hadn't known love as a human, but he saw it often enough in the House. Countless families moved in over the years, husbands and wives with little children who were frightened when he tried to play with them. After photography was invented, pictures lined the walls and decorated nightstands. They immortalized brides in their white kimono, grooms with their wide smiles, elegant ceremonies, decadent banquets.
The couples always looked like they were having so much fun, the Evil Eye noticed. Not just in the photos, but in their daily lives in the House—dancing with each other, pressing their lips together, laughing and singing and holding each other. Then they'd die together, hanging themselves because of that shitty worm. The Evil Eye always felt a kind of sadness seeing them in love—he’d never had that, and he'd never get it, and it was unfair in a way that filled him with a searing rage.
But he was even angrier when they died.
It used to make him angry too, when you talked about the Vessel. When he took over and he caught you laughing at something the Vessel had said, or dancing with him, or pressing your lips together. (Kissing, you’d told him the first time it happened. It's called kissing someone, when you do that.)
Then you started kissing the Evil Eye too, and suddenly he wasn't so angry anymore—the latent rage in him for once eased.
Still, it makes him feel sullen when you tell him, “Jiji and I want to get married.”
You are lying next to him in bed. Sweat is cooling on your naked body—you always get so hot when you and the Vessel get into bed with each other, or sometimes when he’s got you bent over the dining room table, or occasionally when you touch each other in that place you call the ‘locker room’, which tends to leave you extra breathless. No matter the place or the time, you’re always lighthearted, glowing, satisfied. It's the effect that the Vessel has when he’s inside you.
(Sex, you told the Evil Eye once, it's called having sex. Or making love. Not all sex is making love, but it's making love the way that Jiji and I do it. And then the Evil Eye demanded that you show him what exactly that meant, and that's when you took him inside you for the first time. He felt so good and so close with you that for a while, it was all he wanted to do.
Wants to do.)
“What does that mean,” the Evil Eye asks, although he has a good idea. You want to live in a House with the Vessel and laugh and sing and hold each other. You want to die together too, probably, your corpses hanging side-by-side from the same bannister.
“It means we’re going to dress up and make vows to spend the rest of our lives together,” you say. “And we’ll live together and build a home and maybe we’ll have babies too.”
The Evil Eye thinks of all those babies who lived in the House, impossibly tiny humans who were cradled by their mothers before they were burned alive as sacrifices. Before he became the Evil Eye—back when he was merely the ghost of a waif—he’d tried to play with them too, making silly faces and dancing as they giggled at him. He liked to pretend that they were his younger sisters or brothers, but sometimes he wondered how it'd feel to hold them and sing to them like their parents did. How it'd feel if he were a husband with a wife and a kid, what it would be like to dance with someone in the kitchen or tuck a child away into its cradle.
But every time he tried to pick the babies up, his hands would pass right through them. Kind-hearted ghosts can't love people in such a physical way; you need to be vengeful to hold onto anything. He'd had to learn to hate all humans before being able to touch them again, and now he's so rife with hatred that he can't love them anyway. All he can do is haunt them.
The Evil Eye doesn't love you. It's not in his nature as a demon, and he's not sure that it was in his nature as a human. He wasn't loved and couldn’t love, and that's why he was given to the Tsuchinoko. But he likes to possess you nevertheless, and he often thinks about cursing you so that you’re bound to him. It would be the only way to keep you, because you probably don't love him, either—no human would embrace such a horrid and ugly existence. You just love the Vessel he inhabits, and that's why he can kiss you and that's why he can hold you and that's why he’s allowed to sex with you (sex, not love—you've never called it making love when you do it with him, and you never look lighthearted after, and you never glow from his touch: he always leaves you panting, marked up, bruised, possessed).
You love the Vessel, so it makes sense that you would want to do all that with him: live in a House together and make babies together and eventually die together.
“Oh,” he says. “Sounds fun.”
You laugh. “Yes, I hope it'll be.” Then you lace your fingers with his, and look at him in a tender way that he'll probably never get used to. In a tender way that's meant for the Vessel.
“So, then,” you say almost shyly, “Do you wanna marry me too?”
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II. THE VESSEL
Auntie Seiko is as beautiful, young, and no-nonsense as ever. Between meeting her as a child, coming into her care as a teenager, and now seeking her help as an adult, Jiji doesn't think she's ever changed. Most familiar to him right now is the expression that she’s wearing, the one that suggests that he might have shit for brains. Turbo Granny, perched on her shoulder, seems equally bemused, her porcelain cat eyes narrowed into judgemental slits. He'd been hoping that Momo and Okarun would understand his feelings, but they seem equally exasperated—Momo might even be a little appalled.
Anyone else might be disheartened by this reaction, but Jiji is undeterred. These are the people who once realised his wish to protect the Evil Eye; surely, they’ll also realise his wish for him to find happiness.
“—so we talked to him, right? Or my beautiful wifey talked to him, anyway—”
“We're not married yet, Jiji,” you interrupt dryly. “Don’t call me that.”
“—my future beautiful wifey talked to him about getting married, and he said yes! I'm on board. I think they should get a proper ceremony and everything. I know it's a little unconventional since she’ll be marrying me too, but I don't mind sharing, and I'd be willing to work out any legal issues. I'm sure we can find a country where polygamy is allowed.”
“Don’t you think the bigger problem is that he's an evil spirit?!” Momo asks—yells—but Jiji only shrugs.
“Evil or not, don't you think he deserves love and romance just as much as anyone else?”
“No!”
Jiji supposes that he can't blame Momo for her reaction, given how many times the Evil Eye has nearly killed her. Deeming her a lost cause, he turns his gaze on her boyfriend instead, almost puppy-like.
“Don’t you think so, Okarun?”
“Not really,” he admits, and Jiji nearly wilts at the betrayal before he adds, “but I understand where you're coming from. The Evil Eye was like a child when he first possessed you; his greatest wish was to find a friend to play with. Now he's basically a young man who's found his first love and his greatest wish is to be with her… and she, um, happens to be your wifey…”
“Don’t call me that!” you protest, oddly embarrassed, and Jiji resists the urge to squeeze you. You're so cute when you're flustered, it's unbearable. He makes a mental note to tell you this on the way home, though he already does this every day as a rule. When you were both still students, he would say it whenever he walked you home from school; nowadays, he more often says it during long-distance phone calls, or on FaceTime, or occasionally via text if your schedules are that misaligned. But he still makes it a point to remind you everyday, no matter where he is in the world: You're so cute. You're so pretty. You're beautiful, did you know that? I love you.
I love you, he thinks as he watches you. You look bashful right now. “We both want the Evil Eye to find happiness, and I’m pretty sure marriage will make him happy. And, well…” Your gaze drops. “It’d make me pretty happy too.”
Something in Jiji’s chest swells when he sees your expression. It feels mostly sweet, but there's also a painful edge to it. He’s always carried a kind of ache in his ribs ever since the day he caught his parents dangling from the second floor of the House and had to untie the nooses himself. Nowadays, he isn't sure if the pain is from that memory or if it's from the weight of the Evil Eye’s curse. Sometimes it feels like they're one and the same. Often it feels suffocating, like he's drowning and there's nothing he can do to breathe again—not laughing or joking or playing or running.
But you're always there when it’s hard. You're always beside him when he wakes up in the middle of the night to gasp for air, the way he used to when he was haunted as a teenager: It's okay, Jiji, you tell him, voice tender, I'm here for you. You aren't alone. I won't leave you. I won't let anything hurt you. I love you. The nightmares always leave him soaked in cold sweat, so he often switches in these moments, his consciousness displaced by a lonely, crying spirit. He doesn't know what it is you say to the Evil Eye, but when he comes back his heart feels lighter, and from that he knows that you've comforted him too.
The Evil Eye loves you—that much is clear. He loves you as much as Jiji does, probably. In a different way, sure, but just as much in strength.
It follows that nothing would make the Evil Eye happier in this world than getting married to you, Jiji figures. Dead or alive, who wouldn't be elated to marry the love of their life? And Jiji knows it'd make you equally as happy; only an idiot would think that you didn't love the Evil Eye back, and he's no fool. Some people might find it weird that he wants his wife to marry another man—and an evil spirit, at that—and maybe they're right for that. But why would Jiji ever turn down so much collective joy?
So he nods vigorously, giving Momo an intense look. “It'd make us all happy. Trust us!”
Momo gives you both a long, disbelieving stare.
“Well, when you put it that way…” She sighs, resigned. “When’s the wedding?”
“That's what we wanted your help with,” Jiji says, and he gives her grandmother an earnest look. “We want the wedding to be perfect, but we're not really sure how a ceremony would work with a youkai. What dates to choose, what venue to book, who could perform the rites… I mean, could you perform the rites, Ma’am?”
Auntie Seiko frowns. She looks on the verge of admonishing both of you, but Turbo Granny beats her to it: “Idiots. You can't do a Shinto ceremony with the Evil Eye. All three of you will combust into flames.”
“Oh.” Jiji remembers all the aliens and spirits alike that have burned upon attempting to chase them into the shrine grounds. He deflates. “Then… he can't get married?”
You squeeze his hand, and Jiji suspects that it's more for him than yourself. You don't seem nearly so worried.
“Would a Buddhist temple take us?” you ask.
“Doubt it,” Auntie Seiko says around her cigarette. “They’d probably try to exorcise your hubby on the spot—and even if they didn't, no Buddhist priest here would ever stand for tying the spirit of the deceased to a living person. It's how you get hauntings.”
“I don't mind being haunted by the Evil Eye,” you say immediately, and Auntie Seiko snorts.
“I know you don't, but it’s not in our job descriptions to curse people just because they're horny for a ghost.” Momo and Okarun cough loudly, and Jiji feels himself flushing; you cover your face with your hands. “I know a Chinese Taoist who’s done a few ghost marriages, though.”
“They’re okay with cursing people?” you ask, watching her through your fingers. “I mean—not that I mind.”
“Nah—they perform it as a pacification ritual. It would be the safest way to do something like this.” Auntie Seiko studies you closely. “I'm not sure how my acquaintance would react to an evil spirit or to polygamy, but I’ll call him and ask.”
“You're the best, Ma’am!” Jiji bursts, beaming. “We’ll save you an honoured spot in the front row! Turbo Granny too!” Elders should be respected, after all.
Turbo Granny makes a skeptical noise. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, numbnuts. Even if Seiko can find a priest stupid enough to oversee this wedding, there’s something you need that you probably can't find.”
“If we could find Okarun’s balls, I’m sure we can find anything,” you joke, but Granny seems unimpressed, her paws crossed over her chest.
Jiji frowns. “What exactly do we need to get?”
Turbo Granny gives you both an ominous look.
“His bones.”
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III. THE CHILD
The Evil Eye hates being in the House.
All the spirits that he carries hate it too, airy things pulsing with rage and sadness and grief so palpable that he can always easily weaponise it. Any good memories that were ever constructed in the House are eclipsed by the hangings, the knife wounds, the suffocation, and also the burnings. Especially the burnings. Especially the white-hot lava washing over him, eating into his flesh—especially his last few days as a twitching, starving, dying thing on a stake; especially being buried, then the House being built atop his remains. Then all the children and babies sacrificed after him, wailing and screaming: unfair this is unfair let me go let me go let me go it hurts it hurts it hurts please stop this please help me Mom Mommy please help me please come back I don't want to die.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
He isn't ordinarily bothered by rage; he was born of it, after all. But he doesn't like feeling so much rage around you. The Evil Eye likes haunting you and will probably someday curse you—both things he once did to the families in this House—but he doesn't want to kill you.
He glances around the basement—the man cursed by Turbo Granny is here, and so is his lover. (Girlfriend, you’d called her. Momo is Okarun’s girlfriend, just like how I'm Jiji’s. You agree to be someone’s girlfriend when you have feelings for them and want to act on them. A-ah—what? Y-yes, I do have feelings for Jiji… Why do you ask?) The dancer and the Shinto priestess aren't here, and neither is the girl with the lizard suit, but they aren't needed.
If he tries to kill you, Okarun alone could probably stop him. This is the only reason that the Evil Eye agreed to let you come in the first place.
“This is so gross,” you whine, completely oblivious. You're knee-deep in the white gunk left by that shitty Tsuchinoko worm. “I can't believe you spent a whole day buried in this stuff, Okarun.”
“It saved me and Turbo Granny,” he replies, pushing his glasses up as he digs through the mess with you. “The lava would have gotten to us otherwise. I think it probably preserved the Evil Eye’s bones too.”
“I hope so…” You turn to the Evil Eye, head tilted. “Are you sure they're here, Jashi?”
Jashi. You say his title like it's name and not a curse. (Jashi, we should go try out this cafe, you'll say, or, Jashi, let’s go check out this show, or, I missed you, Jashi, it's been too long—here, can you feel how much I need you?) Sometimes he wonders if you ever forget that he's a ghost, or if using this Vessel fools you into thinking that he's human. If you lay beneath him in bed thinking that it's technically the Vessel inside you, and not just the monster possessing him.
“I’m a ghost,” he reminds you bluntly, “‘course I know where my remains are. Dunno if they've turned ash, though. Guess you can't marry me if they have.”
“No, we’ll get married,” you say, unbothered. “I'll dig up all the dirt from this shithole and say my vows to that if I have to.”
Okarun gives you a funny look. “How are you gonna get all that dirt out?” he asks.
“I'll make you carry it.”
“Huh? Says who?”
“Says Momo. He’ll help me carry it, right?”
“He will,” Momo affirms, and her boyfriend chokes. She ignores him, scanning the wreckage. “I hope it doesn't come to that, though. Hey, Evil Eye—can’t you be more specific with where we're supposed to dig? Coordinates or a map would be nice.”
“I'm not a fucking radar!”
You give him a pleading look. “Please, Jashi? Can't you try? For your future wifey?”
The Vessel's face gets hot. Its heart does the stupid thing where it jumps when you're around, or when he holds you after the two of you have sex, or when he stares too long at the engagement ring that's usually on your finger (now hanging around your neck on a silver chain, safely away from Tsuchinoko gunk).
“...fine. Gimme a sec.”
He closes the two eyes of the Vessel so that he can focus on his third. Human vision is too bound by shapes and light and figures; it distracts and deceives him. When he can't see your face, it becomes easier to hone in on his resentment. Unfair, his remains whisper to him, this is unfair let me go it hurts it hurts please stop please stop help me help me help me I don't want to die.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
“There,” he says eventually, pointing at the ground, “it's all there. In one spot. Guess I'm still a skeleton.”
You've got something of a sixth sense—whether it’s an effect of touching the golden ball or coupling so often with a spirit, the Evil Eye can't be sure. However it came about, it seems to tell you that he's right. Your eyes go soft when you rest a hand on the dirt he’s pointed at.
“Momo, Okarun,” you say, “Thank you for your help. I can dig this up myself—you guys can take a break.”
“Huh? No, we’d be happy to…” Okarun starts, but then Momo’s dragging him out by the collar and making him squawk.
“Sure—we’ll wait outside!” she says. “C’mon, Okarun, let's look for Mongolian Death Worm remains—I saw an occult article saying that it has medicinal properties if you make a powder extract from it…”
“You can't take that stuff seriously, Miss Ayase…”
After they leave, you spend the rest of the afternoon digging.
The Evil Eye offers to help, but you are determined to do it yourself. It's okay, Jashi, you say, I’m going to do it. You're going to be my hubby—the Vessel’s heart does the throbbing thing again—so it's only right that I'm the one to unearth you.
He doesn't understand it, but he shrugs anyway. Suit yourself. And he watches as you your fingers dig into the dirt, delicate nails collecting detritus. You don't want to use a shovel, you say, because you're sure that his bones will be fragile and you don't want to damage them. Even when he tells you that his bones are likely ruined in the first place, burned to shit and frail from rot, you don't let up. You just keep digging until you’re picking them out of the dirt.
You roll out a silk cloth, revealing lotuses against a pale backdrop. One by one, you lay his bones atop the pink and ivory thread, and you've found about half of them before he realises that you're reconstructing his skeleton. It's a small, pathetic thing. Help me help me I don't want to die, he can remember himself screaming. It hurts it hurts it hurts please stop. Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
The ghosts of the House begin to wail with rage.
Part of him worries for you—probably the part of him influenced by the Vessel, which is capable of a love that ghosts are not. It knows that you don't deserve his wrath.
“You should leave,” he says, but you shake your head. You take your time as you gather up bones, treating them all delicately as you roll them up in the silk, holding them close to you. As if you aren't in the presence of countless wrathful spirits. As if you are with the Vessel, and not with him.
“You were so small,” you say quietly. “Sometimes I forget that you were a child when you died.”
The Evil Eye stares at you, at the pathetic bundle in your hands. “That was ages ago.”
“But it never stops hurting, doesn't it?” you say, and the walls of the House close in on him. They tell him you're right, that you're a human, that you'll hurt him just like the rest of them, that you need to die too. But you look at him, soft in a way that belongs to the Vessel, tender in a way that the waif-ghost covets, and then the House shudders and goes quiet.
“I’m sorry I didn't help you back then,” you say, and it makes no sense, but he doesn't interrupt you. “I promise I'll make your married life a good one, now that we’re together.”
That's stupid, the Evil Eye thinks of saying, pedantic: I'm already dead. But you rise from the dirt before he can protest, and then you're taking his bones out of the House, cradling him in your arms.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
For the first time since being born, his body is allowed to leave the confines of its prison.
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IV. THE BRIDE
The ceremony happens at night.
You spend the whole day readying yourself. Aira helps you get into your dress, admonishing you for the satanic rituals you'll soon perform but giving you her blessing anyway. Momo does your makeup, telling you to ignore Aira. Vamola says that you look lovely in stilted, earnest Japanese. Auntie Seiko helps you with your hair; she asks you, all the while, if you would like to wear a headdress that might protect you from evil, or for her to perform a consecration on your body. Turbo Granny is less roundabout, offering to take the Evil Eye’s banana in advance of your marital rites. Serpo warns you not to let the Evil Eye take your bananas—Why are you even here!? Momo yells at him—and Reiko Kashima says you shouldn't listen to any of them. You need to hold onto your man no matter what, she advises.
She also says you're beautiful, though of course you aren't as beautiful as her.
Beautiful. Are you beautiful? You'll be beautiful when you marry Jiji, because you're certain that his PR agent will want you prettied up by a team of stylists rather than a bunch of goofballs. You will need to look good for the photos, at least as handsome as him, and you don't know if you can manage that. You will need to be poised in front of the five hundred people attending, about which ten are your friends and none of which are your family.
You're already married to Jiji, technically. The two of you had a civil ceremony that only Momo and Okarun attended as witnesses, quick and dirty and secret. But the official ceremony will make it real, and you are terrified of that. You love Jiji beyond comprehension, and you know he loves you back tenfold, but you've never been able to rid yourself of the small voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough for him. It's been haunting you ever since the two of you fell in love, and you think maybe even before that. Maybe it started plaguing you when you were young.
When you were a child, you used to ask yourself if anyone would ever love you enough to save you from the things being done to you—the things you were convinced would be irreversible. You had confessed this to Jiji before you had sex with him for the first time. (Making love, he corrected you, I want to make love with you, and it made you feel so shy you nearly kicked him out of your bed.) He'd replied that he did love you enough, and that he would save you as many times as you wanted (I’m sorry I couldn't help you back then, he'd added nonsensically, but now that we’re together, I'll make sure your life is a good one), and you were so happy that you cried.
Sometimes you still cry, thinking about his words. But no matter how many times you replay the memory, no matter how often you tell yourself that Jiji is an honest man, the small voice in your head always warns that he’d lied to you. That your wedding to him will be a lie, too.
You often think about how he would leave you (gently), and why he would leave you (the list is endless). And then you try to imagine life without him—no cheerful kisses peppering your features, no goofy expressions putting you in stitches, no grueling morning runs, no messy kitchen sinks, no you're the cutest girl in the world, you're so beautiful I can't believe I'm dating you, how come you don't believe me when I say that stuff, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again, I know you can get better I'll help you, I dunno how to talk about this with anyone other than you, sorry I cried that was kinda lame of me, sorry I need to go to Spain, sorry I was away for so long, I got you this merch, I got us tickets to this show, is it my fault you're going to therapy again, can you come with me to Berlin, is everything okay, come with me to the U.S., are you okay, are we okay, I don't want to break up, I love you, I love you so much, marry me, I'm being serious please marry me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise I won't leave you—
You don't think you could imagine living without Jiji.
Your looming wedding to Jiji terrifies you, but your ghost marriage does not. You feel calm in your dress, certain in your decision. Jashi has never scared you the way that Jiji has, after all. He doesn't frighten you even when the Taoist priest pulls you aside and tells you, “You can still back out of this.”
“Why would I?”
He dabs at his temples with a handkerchief. “This ritual is dangerous with a being like the Evil Eye. Ghost marriages are meant to pacify benign spirits—not vengeful ghosts. I can't guarantee that he will be calmed by this.”
You give him a quizzical look. “If he isn't calmed, then what would happen?”
The priest swallows. “There are three potential outcomes. One—he is pacified completely and moves on to the afterlife.”
This would scare you ordinarily, but you know Jashi well enough to understand that he would never move on. “Okay. What else?”
“Two—he is unaffected, and things remain the same.”
You wait, watching the way his fingers tremble. A wind blows; it carries the scent of burning sandalwood from the wedding altar.
“And?”
“And three—the most likely possibility—he will attach himself to you and curse you.”
“Oh.” The thought should scare you, but you don't think it's fear that’s squeezing your heart. “What would a curse be like?”
“Devastating. You'll never be able to live a normal life, nor will you have a proper afterlife.” The priest shudders at this possibility, which apparently frightens him too much to further describe. “Listen—if the Evil Eye doesn't pass on, you must not complete the marriage. Completing it would make the attachment permanent, and it would realise any curse he places upon you.”
“‘Completing the marriage”?”
“Consummating it.” His face is white. “Sex magic is unspeakably powerful. I don't believe anyone would be able to break a curse that’s born from it—at least not involving such a great yaoguai.”
Anyone else might laugh at his words, but you remain quiet. After spending so long chasing golden balls and bananas, after nearly a decade of fighting off aliens trying to have sex with Momo and Aira, you know that he is telling the truth.
And besides—you know just how permanently a touch can linger (a lifetime, forever, doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?), so you aren't surprised to hear the kind of curse it inflicts.
“Okay,” you say. “I promise I won't let it happen.”
It is only with this vow that the Taoist consents to overseeing the marriage.
The affair is a hodgepodge of Chinese funerary practices and Western weddings—foreign in every respect, but not uncomfortable. Auntie Seiko, clad in red-and-white robes and a golden headdress, walks you down the aisle. Against all her counsel, a white veil sits atop your head and chases after your shoulders. You stop before an altar of offerings and summoning talismans, Taoist spells lit up by the full moon hanged above. Instead of a bridegroom, you are next to a coffin that holds a tiny skeleton. The priest is before you, now possessed by a death god that will call Jashi back to his remains. Supposedly it is a Taoist deity, but its presence feels more extraterrestrial to you than anything spiritual. You will need to ask Serpo about it later.
You study the audience as the priest begins the summoning ritual. Jiji sits in the front row, watching you intently; if all goes well, Jashi will leave his body for the duration of the ceremony, along with all the vengeful ghosts that once resided in the sacrificial house with him. The spirits of the house scare you more than Jashi; you do not know how they will behave once cleaved from his control. There's a banquet for them in the back, a long table with a spread of incense, flowers, rice, and fruit—but you do not know if it will be enough to pacify them.
Your wedding party is equally on edge. As the White Impermanence begins its rituals, Jiji’s body slumps, and everyone else stiffens in their seats. The air grows rife with malevolence. The stars and moon blink out of existence, the world around you grows silent, and a suffocating darkness overtakes the night—almost as if you have been submerged in Empty Space. Tiny cyan flames erupt in the air around the banquet table, their glow eerie in the darkness. They must all be onibi, you guess.
Jashi himself emerges before you, standing over the coffin that holds his bones. You’d expected him to look like the emaciated child that he'd died as, or perhaps the stick-thin monster that used to haunt Jiji—but he takes another form altogether, a formless shadow that your mind can barely comprehend. You're vaguely aware of Turbo Granny covering Momo’s eyes, Okarun transforming, Auntie Seiko readying her bat—but you don't look at any of them. You only stare, as if in a trance, at the single vertical eye that is now peering at you from the darkness.
It is probably strange that you feel so calm. If you were a normal person, you'd probably run from your wedding altar of incense and offerings. Or, actually—if you were a normal person, your mind would be fraying at the edges, gripped by a desire to self-destruct. You would sob and beg the Evil Eye to lift its gaze and let you go and to return to you your life.
But you are not a normal person. The Evil Eye has never really made you feel particularly suicidal, nor have you ever really wanted to beg for your life before it. Your gaze is calm as you recite your vows from memory:
I shall marry this man. No matter what tragedies may arise, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, help this person—until death, and beyond it. I swear these things before the gods.
When the Evil Eye makes his vows, it is in speech that human ears cannot understand. From the wedding banquet, the spirits of the house cry, their wails cacophonous and wrathful, and suddenly you realise that something has gone terribly wrong. Something has changed with this ghost wedding, and not for the better, but when Seiko rises from her seat, you raise a hand.
Finally, the Evil Eye recedes. The darkness lifts, although the spirits linger. Jiji’s eyes flutter open, immediately anxious and disturbed. You give him a reassuring smile—and the rest of your wedding party, too.
Something has gone terribly wrong. Still, you go about your business cheerfully. You thank the Taoist priest, and you insist to him that you will clean up the altar yourself. You greet your friends and say that they should head for the reception, which will have food for humans rather than ghosts. You peck Jiji on the cheek, beaming at him, and he relaxes and congratulates you.
He cups your face tenderly, kisses you on the nose. “You look happy,” he says.
Something has gone terribly wrong, but you still smile and tell him, “Yes.”
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V. THE OFFERING
Your marriage bed is an altar.
Ivory petals are scattered across the bed, along with whole lilies and chrysanthemums. Sweetness permeates the room, carried by the smoke of burning incense. Flames dance upon red candles, flickering as they cast a gentle, soft light. This is your attempt to set an intimate mood, but the Evil Eye does not feel any form of love—he only knows greed. Every object in this room is an offering for the dead, meant for ghosts to consume, and you are the greatest offering of all, waiting for him on the centre of the bed in white silk. You are more fragrant than any joss, riper than any fruit, and he is the most ravenous ghost in existence.
“Isn't this romantic?” you say, beaming at him, and this is when the Evil Eye understands that he absolutely cannot have sex with you.
The wedding was meant to pacify him, perhaps even allow him to move on, but it only did the opposite. Seeing you before him at the altar, vowing to spend a lifetime with him despite all his resentment and ugliness made bare—it only made him more covetous. To move on would be to give up all the love you’ve offered him, the kind of love he'd been denied his whole life.
The kind of love he cannot return.
But he wants it anyway. And like any ghost, he’ll take it—take your love, your heart, your body, your life—if he is allowed to spread your legs and fuck you.
He knows this intuitively, although Turbo Granny also told him this. If you care for her even a little bit, she'd groused, you won’t go through with it. Then she'd threatened to take his banana and his nuts.
But vengeful spirits cannot care for human beings, not truly. It's a wonder that the Evil Eye is hesitating at all, why he feels a pit when he thinks about trapping you. It must be a consequence of his Vessel, who loves you so selflessly that even his body resists hurting you.
“We shouldn’t do it,” he says outright. You blink at him.
“Why?” You tilt your head. “...are you getting wedding night jitters? Do ghosts get nervous?”
He stares at you, uncomprehending. “What? No! I'm not fucking nervous!”
You frown. “Then what's the matter?”
It'll be dangerous for you, he tries to say, but then you're giving him a shy look and untying the sash around your waist. He swallows as the silk robe drops around your shoulders, pools around your thighs. The ivory lace covering your breasts and your core is so sheer that he can practically see through it. It's delicate, pretty—and he wants nothing more than to tear it off and ruin you.
“Don’t you”—you look so flustered, so cute, an echo tells him—“don’t you wanna make love to your wifey?”
Part of him thinks he might cum in his pants. The other part of him wants to leave. Wifey, making love—those are all words that you use on the Vessel. All words that are meant for the Vessel. You're confusing the Evil Eye with your real lover, under the delusion that he is human, unaware that you're being haunted. The Evil Eye is not the man you wish to marry, to live in a House with, to make babies with, to grow old with.
Unfair unfair unfair it hurts it hurts it hurts please please please I don't want to die. I don't want you to die. Why can't I touch you? Why can't I hold you? Please please please—
“I can't.”
Your brow arches. “What do you mean?”
“I can't make love to you.” He pauses, feels a kind of frustration bubbling up when you give him a confused look. “I don't love you.”
Your mouth opens, and you make a faint, strangled noise before asking, “What?”
“I don't love you.”
It takes a moment. You stare at him; you look down; you close your eyes. Your shoulders shake. You'll probably get angry and throw him out, or you'll just calmly ask him to leave. However you do it, you would cast him out, and it would be for the better. You would remain uncursed, free to live out a proper life with the Vessel, and the Evil Eye would get to keep his nuts.
But instead of doing either of those things, you start sniffling—and all the blood leaves his face.
“You”—your voice is so fragile, and it cracks and breaks and his throat feels like it's closing up—“what do you mean you don't love me?”
The Evil Eye's mouth drops open as you start to sob. “W-wait, wait—why are you crying? Don’t cry!”
You start to wail. “You don't love me! I just married you and you don't love me! How am I not supposed to cry?” Between hiccups and sniffs, you pick up one of the pillows and throw it at him. He's paralyzed, forgets to dodge, and it hits him square in the face. “What did I do wrong?!”
“Nothing!” he yells. His heart is pounding. It's squeezing and twisting and it feels so bad that he nearly wants to dispossess the Vessel. “You didn't do anything wrong! It's not you! It's—”
“If you say ‘It’s not you, it's me’, I'll kill you! I'll really kill you!”
“I’m already dead!”
“Then I'll beat your ass!”
“You can't beat my ass! You're not strong enough!”
“Then I'll banish you! I'll spray Jiji with hot water everyday and I won't let you come out! Not even to have Pampy! Not even to play with Okarun!”
The Evil Eye’s mouth drops open. “That's fucking mean!”
“You're fucking mean!” You look at him, and your gaze is so watery and pained that the Evil Eye can't help but go to you. He doesn't realise that he's wiping away your tears until his fingers are wet, and he can’t find it in himself to push you away when you press your face into his shoulder and cling to him. His arms—no, the Vessel’s arms; it must be the Vessel doing this—tighten around you.
“Why—why don't you love me?” you whine between hiccups, and the Evil Eye should call you foolish for expecting him, a spirit who intends to kill all of mankind, to ever love a human. To think that you could spend all these years around him and be so delusional about his true nature—is it that you've forgotten that he drives people to suicide? That his intent is to someday kill all of you, after killing Okarun? The spirits of the House scream at him to grab your face and force you to look at his hideous third eye, to remind you of what he is, to say you're a human you should die like the rest of them you’re as guilty as all of them, you would lock me in a cage too, you would burn me alive and bury my bones beneath a House.
Instead, he rubs your back until your breath begins to even out. And rather than grabbing you and threatening you, he clears his throat.
“I'm… a vengeful spirit,” he says lamely. “Love just isn't something that's in our nature.”
“Why not?” you sniff.
“‘cause if it were, we wouldn't be vengeful. We wouldn't even be ghosts in the first place, probably.”
“B-but,” you whimper, “we've been dating for so long. We live together and sleep together and eat together. You take care of me and I take care of you. We go on dates and hold hands. We even have sex—like, a lot of sex. You initiate it!” You sound accusatory, and the Evil Eye doesn't understand why. Of course he wants to have sex with you; it's one of the most addictive things about having this body. The part of the living world he wants most, nowadays. “If you didn't feel anything for me, why would you do any of that?”
He bristles. “Of course I feel something for you,” the Evil Eye says, oddly agitated. “Just ‘cause I can't love doesn't mean I can't feel. Resentment is what anchors ghosts to this world in the first place.”
“Then what do you feel for me, if not love?” Your fingers dig into the Vessel’s white suit. “Resentment?”
The Evil Eye stares blankly. He doesn't know how to describe it all—the longing, the greed, the envy for the Vessel. The euphoria and closeness of being inside you, a feeling so good that he didn't even know that such joys existed when he was human. The idea of living in a House filled with wedding photos, the thought of making babies with you that he might hold and touch and kiss. So many things that he never had in life. So many things that he can't help but want in death.
So many things that he can't help but want to trap you for them.
“...no, I don't resent you,” he says. “It’s more like I wanna curse you.”
He expects you to cry more—after living for such a long time among humans, he now has enough manners to understand that it is rude to curse someone who has only ever treated you with unconditional love, even if in error—but instead, you become strangely quiet.
You pull away from him so that he can see your face. It's—hopeful?
“You wanna curse me?”
“Yeah. Curse you—haunt you, possess you, control you.” He shrugs. “The usual things that ghosts do when they're so attached to something that they can't move on. You know.”
“Oh.” You wipe your eyes, and the Evil Eye has to stop himself from helping. “I'm so happy.”
“...you're what?”
“I'm so happy that you feel that way about me.”
He stares at you. “You're happy that I wanna curse you?”
“Yeah.”
The Evil Eye studies you. You never react to him in ways that make sense—you’re endeared by him when you should be afraid; you treat him sweetly when you should be callous; you even seem to enjoy his violence when everyone else always punishes it. Now you’re touched by the idea of being cursed.
“Why?” he asks flatly. “I thought you wanted to be loved. Or make love. Something like that.”
You give the Evil Eye a long, thoughtful look.
“Jashi,” you start, voice gentle now, “what do you think love is supposed to look like?”
A married couple in a House. A baby in his mama’s arms. Three children dancing in a field, giggling in the sunlight.
“Dunno.” When you stare at him, as if expecting something, he grows agitated. “I said it's not in my nature. Talk to the Vessel about that stuff, not me.”
One of your brows arches. “Why? You're my husband”—his heart kicks violently at that; he hates this fucking body sometimes—“I want to know what you think love looks like. And besides…” Your voice gets all quiet, and you look away. “It’s not like Jiji would necessarily agree with my views anyway.”
That gets his attention. “What do you mean?”
You hum. “How do I explain it… well, for example—if I found happiness with someone else and left to be with them, Jiji would be heartbroken, but he would be happy for me. Because he loves me, it's ultimately most important for him that I'm happy.”
A married couple in a House. Two corpses dangling from the rafters. A baby in his mama’s arms. A child suffocating in the darkness, crying for his parents. Three children dancing in a field, giggling in the sunlight. Starving in a cage nearby, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold. Unfair unfair I don't wanna die I wanna play with other children I want to dance in the field please please please why can't I touch you why can't I hold you why why why—
“That's fucking stupid,” the Evil Eye blurts out.
“But that's what he’s told me—and I believe him.” You smile at him. “Now, how do you think I'd react if someone took you or Jiji away from me?”
This feels like a trick question. He squints at you. “The same?” he tries.
“That would be ideal. But honestly,” you admit, “I would resent you all for the rest of my life and then think about killing myself. That's what love looks like for me.”
“Oh.” The Evil Eye nods, relaxing. “Yeah, that makes way more sense.”
You laugh, sounding genuinely amused. “Jiji doesn't think so. It really worries him that I feel this way. It would worry most people, actually.” Then you get a little quiet. “I do want to get better for him, but it doesn't come naturally to me, the way that he loves me.”
He doesn't like the tone you're using—soft, uncertain. Mournful. You feel like one of the spirits in the House right now. He thinks about the way you cradled his bones, and his hold on you tightens.
“Where are you going with this?”
“I'm saying that I don't mind that you want to haunt me, or possess me, or whatever.” Your eyes are earnest. Steadfast with the confidence you had as you unearthed his grave. “To be honest, being cursed by you isn’t nearly as frightening as being loved by Jiji.”
The Evil Eye cups your face, thumbing away your tears. Would you cry like this if you knew what it would mean, to be possessed by him? Would you regret your offer to him, the way that the Vessel regrets his? Or would you stare at his true face as you did at the altar and vow to love him anyway?
Instead of asking you any of this, he allows you to loop your arms around his neck.
“I want you to make love to me,” you murmur sweetly as you climb atop him, and that makes him pause.
Two corpses dangling from the rafters. A child suffocating in the darkness, crying for his parents. Starving in a cage nearby, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold. Unfair unfair unfair why can't I touch you why can't I hold you why why why—
“I said I don't know how to do that.”
“Fine,” you say, and then you’re pressing your lips against his, grinding your cunt against his hardening cock. “Then curse me instead.”
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VI. THE DEMON
You've always known that the Evil Eye couldn't love you in a normal way.
It was obvious from the outset, simply cataloguing him for what he is: a monster born from human sacrifice; a curse that drives people to madness, to suicide; a thing that regularly exploits Jiji for his body and makes him commit violence against his will. Jiji and Okarun and the rest might be delusional about the Evil Eye nowadays—thinking that he's just like a kid, that he just wants to play, that he’s in love and wants to get married and play house—but you are not. He can't play with Okarun in normal ways, and he can't love you in normal ways. Every desire ends in blood. That's how it began for him, after all. How he was born.
Your mind has always known this, but your body only learned it the first time you had sex. The Evil Eye doesn't know how to make love to you the way that Jiji does. You’ve tried countless times now, and he's even demanded that you make him do it that way so that he knows what the Vessel gets to feel during sex with you. You've kissed him deep and slow, gently touched him until he felt desire, taken him inside you and pressed your forehead to his. Just like that, you encouraged him countless times, you're doing so good. Good boy. You're doing so well. I love you.
You always end up with your face pressed into the mattress, cheeks wet with tears and throat hoarse from screaming. Sore and bruised and fatigued and it's too fast, it's too big, I can't, please, and with any other man you'd probably hate it but when it's Jashi you always end up moaning and begging for more. You'd always thought you’d be disgusted with yourself for having this kind of sex, but with him, you feel too good to really care. All you can think about is his teeth marking your neck, the cruelty of his rough hands, how his cock fills you so well that you can hardly breathe.
He’s taken you like this countless times, but something feels different about it right now. It might be the incense, so thick in your throat and your lungs that you're dizzy with it. It might be the fragrant petals crushed beneath you, soft and strange things that you stole from your wedding altar. Flowers for the dead, the priest had said to you, given to the ancestors, or to bodies as they're lowered into the ground.
You think maybe that's happening to you, right now: you’re dying, you're being torn apart, you’ll break in Jashi’s hands. It'll leave a mark on your body for a lifetime, forever—and you don't need to be saved.
But even after being fucked so many times, even after your mind has been made so hazy and distant, you're still trying so hard not to come apart at the seams. An agonizing pressure is building in your belly, and you can't let it burst. It’s inconvenient when you get too wet; it makes Jashi switch, which is normally hilarious but would feel catastrophic right now, when you’re drunk on the feeling of his cock inside you and don't want any of this to end. But it's so hard, keeping yourself from drenching him—you can hardly think when he's fucking you like this, let alone control yourself.
“I c-can't anymore,” you whine. “Jashi, you gotta stop, I need a break, please—”
Jashi doesn't care. He takes and takes and takes, and of course he does. It's in his nature as a vengeful ghost, as an existence so empty it can't do anything but consume the life around it. It's not enough that you’ve been ruined by his cock, that you're being used like a fleshlight. It's not enough that he’s made you cum countless times—not out of consideration to you, but simply because he's addicted to the feeling of you squeezing and milking him. It's not enough that he's spilled himself inside you more times than should be possible, uncaring of the consequences. It's not enough, it's never enough—he always needs more from you; more tears, more begging, more feverish, white-hot pleasure.
You shouldn't be surprised when you feel his hips start to stutter again, his cock twitching inside you. Some distant part of you is alarmed anyway, even as your cunt tightens around him, eager to be filled. You've never let anyone fuck you raw before tonight, never had anyone fill your womb up like this—not him and not Jiji; you've always been too afraid of pregnancy—but with each passing moment, it is harder to remember why. Not when it feels so good to be pumped full by him, your body flooded with a strange warmth each time. Unnatural, you keep thinking, this feels weird, he's doing something to me, he's cursing me, he's claiming me. But all you do is wrap your legs around his waist when he cums again, greedy for more, and you sigh in relief at the feeling of it.
He has to stop after this. He has to be sated. He pulls out, his cock throbbing against your swollen pussy, painting it a creamy white—and then he throws your legs over his shoulders and sinks back into you.
“Nooo,” you moan, squirming, thrashing, knowing you'll burst if he fucks you again. “I can't, I can't—I can't hold it in anymore, I can't—”
“Then don't,” he grunts. He looks straight down at you, his weight heavy on you, oppressive, unnatural. You hold your breath as you look at his face—dark and vicious, the vibrant eye on his forehead enrapturing. For the first time in your life, you feel a madness creeping in as it stares at you, fraying at your control. You can't move, can't resist him, can't think, and when he starts thrusting again, your body floods with a euphoria so hot that all you know how to do is cry.
You’re going to break from the ecstasy.
“W-what,” you gasp, “what are you doing to—”
Something hits your sweet spot, and your voice clips off into a desperate whimper. His cockhead starts grinding against it, and you try so hard to squirm, to stop, to control yourself—but whatever he's done to you has made you weak, pliant, and you feel yourself start to pulse. Pinned beneath his gaze, you can neither get away nor fight it. You can only surrender. The pressure is too much, your womb is too hot, and suddenly your back is arching and you feel like you're dying as you gush all over him.
You're in hysterics as you come down, panting and gasping for breath. “No more, no more,” you beg, squeezing your eyes shut, clinging to him. You sob into the crook of his neck, and finally—finally—he relents.
He’s gentle as he pulls out, careful as he sets you down on the bed. Kisses pepper your cheeks, your eyelids, your lips. Then, finally—his forehead pressed against yours, lashes fluttering against your skin.
“You're alright,” Jiji murmurs. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
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VIII. THE CURSE
The Evil Eye has cursed you.
Jiji saw it on your body: a sunburst of strange characters on your stomach, an eye in the centre. The Taoist priest had broken into a pale sweat at the sight, its implications: if anyone else tries to touch you, whether with the intent to do harm or pleasure, then the untold carnage will be wrought upon them. Should you ever try to leave the Evil Eye, he will drag you back with such violence that it will shatter you. That so long as that vengeful ghost is bound to this earth, then so too shall be you.
Jiji is less worried than he probably should be. He doubts that the Evil Eye would truly ever hurt you, and also doubts that you’re physically capable of leaving him anyway. Ever since being marked, you haven't been able to go a day without having either of them inside you—brutally if it is with the Evil Eye; gently if with Jiji. Either way, you’ve been desperate for their touch, plagued by an all-consuming lust if you can't have them. It puts a wrench into all the plans for your respective careers and for the long distance arrangement. Auntie Seiko plans to train you to suppress the curse, but it isn't sustainable.
Privately, though, there's a part of Jiji that doesn't mind the excuse to see you all the time. It’s not that he wants to deny you your freedom, quite the opposite, but—you're his beautiful wife. And he's ridiculously in love with you. He can't help but miss you every day you're apart, and he also can't bring himself to complain about this particular aspect of the curse.
He also understands the Evil Eye for doing this to you. Sure, cursing you wasn't Jiji’s first act as a newlywed—but he also kinda gets it.
Jiji shares dreams with the Evil Eye, sometimes. He sees within them everything that the Evil Eye has experienced—not just as a demon, but as a spirit, a child, a waif. Sometimes he hears the thoughts that he once had, the ones that made him turn vengeful: unfair, this is unfair let me go it hurts it hurts please stop please stop help me help me help me I don't want to die.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
After all that? Of course the Evil Eye doesn't experience desire the way that a human would. Of course playing with someone is the same thing as killing them. Of course loving someone is the same thing as cursing them. And the Evil Eye loves you—that much is obvious, would be obvious to Jiji even if they didn't share a body—so of course his instinct was to carve you open and mark you with his spell.
Jiji feels poorly about it sometimes, guilty and selfish and like he should have ended things after all. Then you'd be free to love whoever you want, without the threat of certain death looming over you. But then you smile at him in bed, so tender and pretty and glowing beneath him. “I'm glad I get to be with you both,” you sigh, and then he can't really complain. After all, you're his beautiful wife. Jiji is ridiculously in love with you. Of course he wants you to be happy.
If it really ever comes down to it, if you really ever wanted to leave—Jiji knows he'd have himself exorcised. He'd rather die than hurt you. But the possibility seems so distant right now, with how you're studying the stone monument before you. You seem peaceful, tranquil, a calm figure cut against a placid, blue sky. Jiji guesses that's appropriate: cemeteries are meant to be resting places.
This plot of gravesoil belongs to the Enjoji family, and there is a spot carved out for you, right next to the space reserved for him. You bear his surname now, so when the two of you pass, you’ll be allowed to rest side-by-side. He already knows what the Evil Eye would say to that: you'll live in a House together and make babies together and eventually die together and be buried together. And if Jiji could talk to him, if he could for once directly speak with the monster inhabiting him, he'd beam at him and say yeah, we sure are.
But the Evil Eye would miss one thing, and it's that he'd also be buried with you. He'd be buried with both of you.
In your hands is an urn, plain but dignified. It carries the ashes of a waif hundreds of years old, the remnants of a brutal sacrifice. The last step of a ghost marriage is to bury the bones of the bride with the remains of the groom, but you're an Enjoji now, and Jiji’s family does cremations, not burials. When the time comes, you'll be burned, and your ashes will be mixed with those belonging to Jashi. He’ll go before either of you: by the end of the day, his remains will be in the crypt, though Jiji doubts his spirit is going anywhere.
“We’ll be interred with each other, someday,” you say to the ashes, tender. “But first we’ll spend a lifetime together.”
Then you turn to Jiji, your smile sunlit. It's shy, because you're always shy around Jiji—even though he's now your husband and you’ve married him in front of five hundred people and he's made love to you every which way on every piece of furniture in the house since then—and you add, “And we’ll spend a lifetime together too.”
Jiji laughs. “I guess you're stuck with me,” he says, and a frown briefly overtakes your face.
“We’re all stuck with each other,” you correct him. “You're cursed as much as I am.”
“I guess.” He scratches his cheek, sheepish. “Sorry you ended up with a husband who’s possessed by a ghost.”
“I wasn’t talking about Jashi,” you say, and you seem a little uncertain, but Jiji can't help but smile. Partly because he appreciates it when you're earnest with him, but mostly just because he loves you.
“You're so beautiful,” he says, “did you know that?”
You huff at him, turning around. “You’re too much,” you chide, but he hears the fondness in your tone. Jiji grins, and—in the privacy of the cemetery—takes the opportunity to loop his arms around you. You giggle when he squeezes you, and then your voice goes quiet.
“I love you,” you say, “did you know that?”
“Uh huh.” He spins you around so he can waggle his brows and give you his most reassuring look. You snort violently at his expression. “It’s super obvious. You can't resist my charms.”
When your laughter passes, you look down at the ashes in your arms—the child that you carried out of the House.
“Do you think,” you ask, voice odd, “he knows that?”
Jiji’s eyes soften. Because he shares dreams with the Evil Eye, and sometimes he shares thoughts with him too—like the pain in his chest that's been aching ever since he found his parents hanging side-by-side from the second floor, the one that grew every time he found the body of a spirit medium, the one that choked him when his relatives called him cursed and slammed the door in his face. He slept on the ground in front of their house after that—he didn't want to go back to the place where his parents nearly died—and called Auntie Seiko the next day, when he realised that they truly didn't want him around.
Sometimes he shares dreams with the ghost haunting him, and when he screams in his sleep he can't tell if the voice in his throat is truly his or if it actually belongs to the Evil Eye. But no matter its origin, it goes quiet when you hold him in bed and kiss his forehead. Just like how it went quiet when you carried that skeleton out of the House.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
“Yeah,” Jiji says. “Yeah, he does.”
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END
some general notes:
this was a weird fic to write. ordinarily I would write the evil eye as having a childish and immature narrative voice; however, I (1) had to balance it with an aged up characterization, and (2) did not want to get cancelled, so I instead ended up with something in-between that feels a little awkward
there is jiji-focused companion fic that is like 50% done about him fucking you nasty after he switches places with the evil on your wedding night. I will probably finish it and post it when s2 comes out LOL
i know this is not my best writing rip please forgive me
some cultural notes:
taoism has real-life sex magic practices and places a lot of significance on, err, certain bodily fluids in terms of spiritual energy. none of these beliefs have anything to do with getting cursed via freaky ghost marital sex, but they served as the general inspiration for the curse in the fic (alongside dandadan canon, which coincidentally also places a lot of spiritual significance in sex and sexual organs lol)
the vows recited by the reader are a modification of standard japanese wedding vows (found on Google, take with a grain of salt). incidentally, western-style weddings are apparently quite popular in Japan, hence the decision for the bridal dress.
a lot of the wedding details are inspired by chinese funerary practices in addition to actual taoist ghost marriages. I took a lot of creative liberties with the wedding scene in general; real-life ghost marriages are quite different (from my understanding; I have never attended one)
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gracie-eilish · 5 hours ago
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Heyyy I have a fic request. I know you said you're done with the baby fics but tbh you could never be done with them.(plus its not rlly a baby fic)
Reader is pregnant and she gets into a fight with billie about something and later reader needs help doing things but she's too afraid to ask billie. Luckily, billie knows her wife well. (VERY FLUFFY)
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sweet baby💗
baby i could never NEVER be done with the baby fics. OF COURSE I’ll write another one!!!!! here ya go sweet thang!!☺️
HAHA this request is from the last time i said was done with the baby fics for the week lol!
The day had started off perfectly fine. A slow morning, Billie pressing lazy kisses along your shoulder as you stayed curled up together in bed, your hand resting over your growing belly while she traced absentminded patterns over your skin. She had murmured something about making you breakfast, and you had hummed in agreement, feeling warm and content.
And then later in the day, somehow, things went downhill.
You weren’t even sure how it started—just that one moment everything was fine, and the next, you and Billie were snapping at each other.
Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, or maybe Billie was just being annoying (she was), but it had escalated fast.
“I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal about this,” Billie said, crossing her arms as she leaned against the kitchen counter.
You huffed, arms mirroring hers. “Because it is a big deal, Billie!”
She scoffed. “No, it’s really not.”
“To me it is!”
Billie groaned, running a hand through her hair. “Babe, you’re seriously mad over this?”
You glared at her. “You’re the one making it worse!”
Her eyes widened in disbelief. “I’m making it worse?! You’re the one who—ugh! You know what? Forget it.” She threw up her hands, shaking her head. “I’m going to the studio.”
You scoffed. “Of course you are.”
She turned to leave but hesitated, glancing back at you. “You need anything before I go?”
The question was soft, almost like an olive branch, but you were still too irritated to take it.
“Nope.”
Billie pressed her lips together, exhaled through her nose, then nodded sharply. “Fine.”
And with that, she walked off, shutting the studio door behind her.
You stood there, arms still crossed, fuming.
It wasn’t even that big of a deal. Just a stupid argument over something trivial—maybe she had brushed off a concern of yours, or maybe you had snapped at her first. Either way, it left you feeling irritated and on edge, needing something to do to distract yourself.
So you decided to make dinner.
You pulled out ingredients, chopped vegetables, and set a pot of water to boil, throwing yourself into the motions to burn off the frustration still simmering under your skin. You were fine. You didn’t need Billie’s help.
Until you reached for the jar of marinara sauce.
You twisted the lid. It didn’t budge.
You tried again, using more force.
Nothing.
Your irritation flared. “Oh, come on.”
You adjusted your grip, twisting as hard as you could.
Still nothing.
“Are you kidding me?” you grumbled, your voice rising in frustration.
You tried once more, gritting your teeth.
The lid didn’t move an inch.
“For the love of—” You slammed the jar down onto the counter with a frustrated huff. “This is so stupid! I swear to God—”
From the other room, Billie’s voice drifted in. “You okay in there?”
You froze, debating whether to answer.
A second later, you heard the studio door creak open, followed by the sound of Billie’s footsteps approaching.
And then she was there, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, one brow raised. “Are you losing a fight with a jar of sauce?”
You scowled. “I got it.”
Billie smirked, strolling over casually. “Oh yeah? ‘Cause it sounded like you were about to throw hands with it.”
You huffed, gripping the jar again and twisting with all your might.
It still didn’t move.
Billie snorted. “Babe.”
You ignored her.
She took another step forward. “Come on, let me help.”
You hesitated, still feeling stubborn.
“I got it,” you muttered, trying one last time.
The lid remained firmly shut.
Billie sighed, reaching out. “Baby, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”
You clenched your jaw but relented, handing over the jar without meeting her eyes.
With one swift motion, Billie popped the lid open effortlessly.
You gaped at her. “Are you serious?”
She wiggled her fingers. “Strong hands, baby.”
You rolled your eyes, reaching for the jar, but Billie didn’t let go just yet. Instead, she looked at you carefully, her teasing smile fading into something softer.
“You know you can ask me for help, right?” she said gently.
You swallowed, suddenly feeling silly. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
Billie frowned. “Bother me? Babe, you never bother me.” She tilted her head. “Is this about our argument?”
You hesitated, then let out a slow breath. “I just… we both needed space, and I didn’t wanna—I don’t know, break the truce?”
Billie’s face softened. “Baby,” she murmured, setting the jar down before wrapping her arms around you. “There’s no truce to break. Just because we got a little irritated with each other doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop taking care of you.”
Your body melted against hers, the fight fully fading now.
“I hate arguing with you,” you admitted quietly.
Billie pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “Me too.”
You sighed against her, your fingers gripping the fabric of her hoodie. “I’m sorry.”
She pulled back slightly, her eyes warm. “I’m sorry, too.”
She nudged her nose against yours, smiling. “Truce?”
You nodded, looping your arms around her neck. “Truce.”
Billie grinned, swaying you slightly. “Wanna finish dinner together?”
You exhaled, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah.”
So you did.
Billie stayed close, helping you stir the sauce, sneaking little kisses to your cheek whenever you weren’t looking. Every so often, she whispered something dumb just to make you laugh, and by the time you sat down to eat, it was like the fight had never happened.
And when Billie reached across the table to lace her fingers with yours, her thumb gently rubbing over your skin, you knew that no matter how many little arguments you might have, you’d always come back to this—to each other.
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son-justdont · 2 days ago
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okay so here's the update regarding my mom's opinions on catws
she fuckin gets it, dude
i talked about how despite everything hydra does to make him look intimidating, you can see that he's very neutral, sometimes even scared. i showed her this gif:
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and she said "it's like he's lost"
we talked about how he's extremely calculating and doesn't react emotionally even in high stress or when he's being bested, like when Natasha fucked up his arm, or even during the face reveal. and she said "because they didn't understand the science of it... the serum enhances everything about the person, and he wasn't bad. that's why they had to work so hard and wipe him so much, because he wouldn't ever actually want to do those things." i couldn't help but smile while she was saying this lmao
she also said: "to me, Steve always seemed... independent. it's almost like Bucky relied on him more than the other way around" which is the most stucky thing she could've ever said. she's so fucking right
she was like "wait, so he pulled him out of the water... and then he just walked away?? so now he's just wandering around... and the longer he stays unfrozen, the more he's going to remember everything"
we can't quite yet watch civil war but we are very excited for it lol
oh, and she loved nick fury and she didn't even know who the fuck he was. i forgot to explain beforehand but she understood pretty quick. and then she was very upset when he "died" as well LOL she said "THEY NEED TO STOP DOING THAT." she hated rumlow immediately as well and i was like yeah that's the correct opinion
now i wanna respond to some of the comments under the cut cuz ive been having such a good time lmao
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@bucky-boychik-barnes @impetusofadream HERE U GO (one of them is from a different post where i talked about the same thing lmao)
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@ilovemosss i read this post out to my mom including the replies and when i read this one she went "YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!"
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@sentowritesstuff @stuckydrewx @partofthefandom @musette22 @rillils @skullfragments
she really thought all these responses were so funny and sweet! i however will not be introducing her to ao3 lmfao. she's no prude but she's pretty shy. i'll have to just relay ideas i find myself, i think. if anyone has any non-M rated recs you think she might like based on what she's said, feel free to send them my way haha
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honestly she'd probably enjoy herself but i am probably only be showing her Cap and Bucky related stuff LSKDJF we didn't even watch avengers and i sure as hell am not showing her AoU. i'm basically explaining the relevant information as to what went on in between movies. i was like "natasha is an ex russian spy that was groomed to be as a child. that's basically all you need to know" like i didn't even explain nick fury and she was SO UPSET WHEN HE DIED LMAO
and, i gotta spill the beans, but i haven't seen a marvel movie since the first black panther. yeah that includes IF and EG. i know what happens but my interest in marvel PLUMMETED back then and i never caught up. honestly i'm only back into this stuff because i rewatched jessica jones and then wanted to go through the whole MCU from the beginning, saw CA:TFA, went "oh yeah this was all that i liked," and went all in for them.
i have watched TFatWS and i loved it (it seems like the fandom doesn't though LOL) for what it was, so i'll probably show her that. she is gonna be so so so so so upset regarding steve's choice, just like the rest of us. and i'm not looking forward to it lol. but i'll update when that happens too
i'll have to make a post civil war mom thoughts once that happens haha
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courtkossai · 9 hours ago
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as is , kossai already struggle with " proper " language and communication - some people see fit to complain and degrade for just this , words of kossai worth less than words of others . but this can be even worse in situations of low sleep or recent seizure - some might say erratic or nonsensical , because of struggles to string words in order . 
sometimes would try to reach out to people or make posts despite this , because ... well , want for companionship do not stop just because unwell . but then people would just ... outright laugh . oh haha , seem like monster catch up . oh haha , will just repeat message back because that is total nonsense . oh haha , will nitpick everything wrong and publicly shame , never mind actual conversation . 
just total baseless cruelty . this is why kossai object to labels like semiscribal , and to people who compliment or praise - disrespectful for others to point out and highlight , as if way of words is more important than actual message .
word salad is also something different , and people can be even crueler . occasionally will see on some popular posts or in popular tags , people who rant and rave with words would make sense to almost no one . grammatically might be just fine , but semantically extremely hard or impossible to follow as unfamiliar stranger - that is medical meaning of word salad . 
and unfortunately sometimes see people who jump in and try to provoke - " just some crazy dingbat " , so why not have some fun ? make some jokes about things that live in walls , laugh at incoherent answers to invasive questions , so on .
but that is still real individual with real life and feelings behind screen . there is no point at which apparent insanity - whether really in psychosis , or deal with entirely different things - make cruelty suddenly OK . 
struggle to understand message from someone with unfamiliar way of words ? try to understand why that person have different way of words , first . some people can fix with sleep , but many people can not fix at all . some people have caregiver or account moderator to help , but many do not . sometimes only answer which someone can give is , impossible to change words - have to get familiar with way of words , rather than hope for person to change . if that is really not possible , then at least do not turn to hostility and laughter .
@dailymanners - hope this is OK to tag . :)
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lavenderprose · 11 hours ago
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I do think Taash eventually starts a Permanent Sleepover type situation with Harding purely because staying in the main lighthouse starts to feel just a bit too much like being Rook and Emmrich's houseguest.
And it's not that they're made to feel intrusive. Emmrich and Rook always look up from their Weird Necromancy Chats when they hear Taash coming down the hallway and offer them a seat in the library sitting area. They're having tea. It's really fragrant and it smells crazy good, actually, but Taash can also smell how much Rook is enjoying Emmrich's Death Yap. Even if their sense of smell wasn't so developed, Taash has fucking eyes, and they can see that Rook's legs are crossed harder than a clamp trap and their face is glazed over like one of those Antivan teacakes Lucanis always brings back in a pretty pink box from Traviso. Apparently they take sixteen hours to make. They're really good, especially the chocolate ones--
"Taash?" Emmrich says, head politely cocked, like Taash can't literally smell his--
"You guys are weird," Taash says, as mildly as they can (because they don't actually think Emmrich and Rook realize how weird they are) before they quickly hustle away.
So yeah, it all gets to be a bit much. Between the tea times and the giggling that Taash can hear through the wall sometimes, and the way that they feel like if they don't absolutely CLOMP down the hallway out of their room, they might see something they really don't wanna see. Rook and Emmrich seem to forget that anyone else exists when they're looking deeply into each other's souls, or whatever it is they're doing.
"I don't actually think they're fuckin'," Taash tells Harding. They're laying on Lace's floor pallet, pillows and blankets all tossed to the side, because Taash and Lace? They're fuckin. All the time. Fuck yeah. "I would understand it if they were fuckin'. Who doesn't like fuckin'? I mean, I know some people don't, I've talked to Lucanis--"
"I don't think that's what's happening here," Lace says, in that nice and gentle tone she uses when she sees that Taash is starting to get way too in their head about yet another aspect of Other People and the Way They Act that they can't quite process. "Some people just...they don't...well. You know how sometimes, when you have something you really enjoy eating--"
"Like those teacakes Lucanis buys," Taash says immediately.
"Yeah, like that." Lace lays back and folds her hands over her stomach, bouncing her feet to a jaunty tune in her head. God, she has great boobs. Point one to Taash for getting to touch those great boobs. "Well, sometimes you want to really enjoy the teacakes, so you eat them slower. To, um, savor--"
"Oh, haha, no." Taash frequently inhales the teacakes with alarming speed and gusto. They are best eaten whole, two at a time.
"Okay. Well...okay. When we go to Rivain, and the sun is setting on the water."
"Uh-huh."
"And the birds are singing, and everything's quiet, and you know we're heading somewhere--maybe somewhere exciting!--but you still want to sit there for a minute and enjoy it? Because...who knows if you'll ever have this moment again, you know?"
"Yeah, I guess," Taash mumbles. They shift down until their head is next to Lace's, which kind of means their bare ass is all on the tile greenhouse floor, but it's whatever. Lace is super pretty from this angle. "It's like an edging thing, then."
Lace's face twists spectacularly. "No, that's not--"
When Taash returns to the main Lighthouse that night, they catch just the briefest glimpse of something happening on the banister at the top of the staircase. When they blink, Emmrich has positioned himself in front of a red-faced Rook, only visible as a wad of hair breathing against the back of Emmrich's shoulder and a hand clutching his elbow from behind.
"Taash!" Emmrich says, way too loud. "We thought you were spending the night with dear Harding! Ah, of course, you do live here too. We apologize for--"
Rook hisses something into Emmrich's spine. It sounds like, "Shut up shut up."
Emmrich's clothes are, like, really messed up. For him at least. One of the buttons on his trousers is undone.
"Oh," says Taash. They turn around and walk their ass right back to the greenhouse.
"Hey," they say, as Lace flounders out of sleep. "So, uh, I was wrong. Can I stay here? Forever?"
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mipexch · 1 year ago
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there's something so beautiful about rain world's art style that i can't properly put into words
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vargaslovinghours · 10 months ago
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And never let you go ♥
Bonus without the overspill lighting:
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#💟#Digital art#Full Art#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay#Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha#Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm#Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪#I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again#Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪#So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment#I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3#I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction#I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3#I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next#I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3#It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :)#And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha#The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3#Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥#Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear!#Oh and#Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt#Hehe <3
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solargeist · 9 months ago
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for over a week now i keep thinking abt grian and kid xelqua. something abt him taking care of this alternate universe child version of himself. i just stare at the ceiling and my eyes blur
#I HAVE SO MNAY THOUGHTS I DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE#grian knows who xelqua is. he knows who this kid is. but xelqua does not remember nor know ! hes genuinely just a little kid#unsure if he knows Who exactly Grian is though#its also weird for pearl to see kid xelqua. bc thats technically her older brother ? from a different timeline ? as a kid ?#also an unkillable goddd ? oh but hes so cute tho his little cheeks WAHHH#Sometimes adult Xelqua appears on the server. sometimes the kid version#almost always at grian's house i think he just feels safe there#xelqua issss miserable. hes much older than he should be. i think he occasionally gets so stressed out he reverts into a kid#and cant remember anything. but knows he feels safe in HC so he ends up going there#but hes stilllll powerful as a kid he doesn't lose any of that strength. so if he throws a temper tantrum and kills a bunch of fish. well !#theyre soooo brothers but in a way where ur older brother has to take on a parental role and you fight a lot bc of the odd dynamic#ALSO SOMETHING SOMETHING abt grian not having parents. raising himself. craving that sort of attention which led him to the watchers#and then being able to parent this version of himself ? its sad rly. in quiet moments he wonders if he was too difficult as a kid#he doesnt find xelqua that difficult. hes just a little kid. hes silly. hes not hard to love and care for#godh man *head in hands* i collapse thinking abt grian and family themes and its a core part of how i write him haha#IM GOING TO THROW UPP
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sysig · 3 months ago
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Moving out of concept art and into what’s Actually Done! Showcased here are a couple expressions for both pets so far with their dialogue balloons - mostly pulled from NPC references, but I did get a screenshot of my pet in-game using it in reply, not just in Kinzchat! So cute <3
They’re both introducing themselves here with the names I’ve given them, but I really wanted the process to be as Webkinz-like as possible, with a few extras :)
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Which started with being able to pick pet pronouns! Thinking about it now, Webkinz doesn’t ask for player pronouns, does it? :0 But I wanted that to be an option too! It was...something of a process to go from one set of adjustable pronouns to three, especially as I haven’t played with any Ghosts that give you the option to assign both the character(s)’ and player’s pronouns! I had to give it a fair bit of thought of what to check against and how to not have them interfere with or overwrite each other (which did happen early on lol), but I got it! Only took a couple hours of frustrated-sleepily hammering away haha
These screenshots were taken pretty much back-to-back - the only thing changed here is what shell is being used, and shell-checking has come in soooo clutch here ahh, thank goodness ♥ Many and big thank-yous again to @cherryistired​​ for helping me troubleshoot menu shell-switching! Exactly what I needed, am very grateful :D
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My original concept sketch of this process was perhaps a little overconfident in what I could accomplish for my first time playing in code lol; I have seen custom pronoun-setting though! And I think I probably could do that, but multiple pronouns... Again, I think I could, but... The name of the game was limiting my scope (lol) to see how many Different things I could implement in short order, so I’ll gladly take my three sets of pronouns and pet names vs. player name and go haha
It’s also a bit funny to look back on this little Diamond - I really haven’t drawn her much! Kind of loosely following Webkinz’ style, her face looks especially silly I think haha
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I’ve also got my main menu balloon looking rather fabulous imo ✨ Technically there’s two - More and Back - and most of the features are Very Much in the Coming Soon To A Ghost Near You phase lol, but they’re all {bracketed} up to be filled in as I get their assets made :D There’s still a few placeholder pieces here and there - especially since I haven’t gotten to inter-Ghost communication just yet. Everything in its own time!
I ended up having a lot-a lot of fun with naming and renaming, I went a little silly with Just How Many reactions the pets could have to their names haha
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They’ll refuse to be named after any of the Hosts directly, and they’ll give you a side-eye if the name is Close To but not Quite a match haha
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The mischievous expression has gotten an awful lot of use already! Although I’ll probably change the “Nu-uh!” expression to something else once I have an alternative that fits better - I need that gradient-to-mad expression set so bad!
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And although they won’t accept NPC names, you can name yourself after a Host, and they’ll react! :D There really is so much flexibility for Easter Eggs like this ahh, it’s fun!
All told, I ended up playing the most in Bootend, Menu, Nameteach (hgh), and String, although I’m realizing now that maybe a lot of the stuff I put in String belongs in Word...? It’s all been OnFunctions anyhow, and it’s organized in a way that makes sense to me but is perhaps not as intended lol - nothing says I can’t go back in and move some stuff around, as long as it continues to function properly haha. I’ve kept my error log neat and tidy!! As many times as I’ve broken something, I’ve fixed it thereafter! :D It’s a very satisfying process ♪
#My art#Ghostkinz#Diamond#Rocky#Webkinz#Ukadevlog#Probably the last one for the time being! I've moved on to the next Monthly Project so that's taking up my focus for the time being#Though there is more concept art for some of the unfinished features so I mean... I Could make another lol#And if I may have possibly chosen a monthly task I'm fairly sure I can finish before the end of the month so I can back to a bit of coding#Well I mean that would just be serendipitous I'm just giving myself a little extra wiggle room who knows what will happen#Lol#It really has been hard to Actively set down in favour of other things but I said I'd work on it for a month and that's that!#It was an enriching experiment and I can come back to it once some other things are in order ♪#Much better to leave a project on an ''I can't wait to come back!'' than a ''Oh thank goodness I don't have to anymore'' haha#It really is something I'd like to see through; for my sake so I can actually have the satisfaction of Finishing Something#Constantly frustrated by my ideas not being in the state they deserve to be released it hh#I can see them in my mind's eye! They're beautiful and wonderful! I want everyone to see what I see!#And I know I /can/ do it!!!! I just - like here - tend to underestimate the scope#But now that I've given it my best go in this time frame I have a better understanding of what I'm up against#Of course I couldn't make something simple as my first go 'round lol - even simplifying as much as I can here it's still Very lol#But I genuinely am cutting corners so I don't stagnate in ''No it HAS to be like THIS!'' - since that's where a lot of my projects trip#It doesn't have to be perfect - it has to be Done Enough - and I fully intend to release it once it is#I have a lot of lofty hopes for this project - but if I can capture that electrifying Have To Make feeling into it#To keep pressing on and not give up and keep learning and growing - that's what I very very much want the most <3#Gonna keep at it >:3c Gonna keep learning and implementing! And gonna finish it!!!!!!
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nametakensff · 6 months ago
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Just curious!
Something I've been thinking about for a while to fill the periods where I'm out of work between contracts (London expensive), and also because I've had fun with non-fet commissions in the past!
I'll put together a price sheet if there's interest, but for the kind of things I draw, see below! Some more details under the readmore 💫
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- OCs / fanart / self inserts all good!
- Happy to draw furries!
- I know that all the above examples of art are men but *so* happy to draw all genders
- NSFW is fine
- Goes without saying, one would hope, but no minors - as commissioners or to be drawn. MUST be 18+ to commission me!
- Just focusing on snz art for now (overlapping kinks welcome as long as snz is the main focus eg macro/micro)
- Won't draw real people (live action characters fine)
I'll provide further details if there is enough confirmed interest. Thank you if you've read this far <3
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mortellanarts · 1 year ago
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Hmm... Akane witch design courtesy of Umineko brainrot anyone? 😳
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aroacee-of-spades · 3 months ago
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^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale
#GOODNIGHT I NEED TO PROCESS#im STRUCK#there r tears rolling down my cheeks fuck this damn show😭😭 (affectionate. this is the peak of all media ever)#okay yall arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane s2#that ending was honestly SO well done#the WHOLE finale#and all the rest lmao#but fucking GOD#the cycle....and the way each character was considered within..just- SO GOOD#and ekko......#and JAYCE oml yall better take back all the shit tbh he's genuinely become such an intriguing character throughout s2#and going to admit. i did Not care abt him in s1 sry😞#but the s2 arc has been captivating from the start and jayce is NO exception#also viktor's eyes im so glad we got to see them again. ohhh the irony of grief and relief mean SO much to me#his eyes. mean sm to Me. doomed scientist yaoi i lov e u#and mel.....omg not much to say regarding initial thoughts. im afraid haha. buuut i wanted to learn more about her link to the black rose#LOVED ambessa. her characterisation was so brilliantly captivating that i dont think i ever rlly hated her lmao#and jinxx omfg im sick. i love her so much. oh fucking hell ep7 killed me actually. im dead.#the sisters r so close all throughout the show and i loved the little direct confirmation of this like i actually started crying then#and VI oh my goddddd vi. could write a thesis on her. the visual rep of the lessening of her guilt after jinx. with singing. with acceptanc#oh fml im going a little insane i love this show so much#and VANDERRR and the beast and FUCK how even at the end he covered jinx.#i love how the show covered her end. it feels like a sigh of relief. the final breath. u end up hoping the best for her.#OH MAN THE MUSIC STARTED AND I STARTED CRYING SO HARD.#this is s1 ep3 all over again#oh and HOLY SHIT we got lesbian sex im ECSTATIC. thannk u fortiche for the whole show but yeah. especially. uhm. this.#okay im loggin off now i need to clock out and sleep. process my thoughts and then word vomit tmr.#nyx talks shit
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moeblob · 11 months ago
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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nausicaä neck tattoo letsa gooooooo
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cherry-bomb-ships · 8 months ago
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Just did a lil update on my carrd, including moving around f/os ranking-wise, as well as some new self-insert tags and more elaboration on comfort with sharing for some of my f/os!
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aq2003 · 6 months ago
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i'll be honest i genuinely thought patrick marber wrote dj for david to play him (what with the "are you a doctor?" and "is it time?!" lines) but i found out that no this was written in 2006 for the guy that played the lizard in the amazing spider-man movies. and also both of these lines are in the original. that's crazy
#don juan in soho#david tennant#the most notable changes made were dj's big monologue near the end#and also instead of dj saying (essentially) 'well at least i'm not a rapist and a pedo' he says 'well guys at least i'm not donald trump'#haha........ha.....................ha.....................#oh and the addition of a the music/dance numbers#i told myself i was just going to read the script but then i ended up watching the play again (while reading alonside). i have a problem#I KIND OF THINK DJ IS ONE OF DAVID'S MOST CHARACTERS EVER????????!!!!! im insane#like there are so many elements to dj that i really love from other characters that he's played before#like kilgrave's fundamental selfishness and how he never grew up n only lives for his own pleasure n hurts everyone around him w/out a care#ten's inability to live without the company of others and how he reckons w mortality and dies without reaching catharsis#richard ii and how he starts off unaffected/unlikable but you see more and more of his humanity as the story goes on + he loses his power#hamlet's revulsion with the inauthentic nature of the world that he lives in and how he struggles w his Awareness Of Self#but like i feel llike dj is written in such a way where he's intentionally ambiguous and it's difficult to pin him down completely and that#makes him soooooooo interesting so interesting hwoever this means writing real analysis about him is kind of so hard#i'm putting him in the salad spinner#and then im sending him to hell again god what a deeply terrible and unpleasant person <3
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