#-but it is worth the struggle to experience something so genuinely beautiful

[mipexch]

there's something so beautiful about rain world's art style that i can't properly put into words

[harmoonix]

Comforting Astrology

🍁 ~ Short Astrology Observations ~ 🍁

🍁 Many people forgot that your safe space is found within your moon sign, 4th house, and its ruler

🍁 Everyone has karmic points in their chart, and these are the north node and the south node, respectively ketu and rahu

🍁 Your ascendant sign and its ruler can also be a good indicator of beauty and the way you look/your appearance

🍁 Lots of people with moon - saturn aspects tend to have a really pessimistic mind, but they also try to heal at their own

🍁 Mercury in the 4th house can have good connections with their family members, always being close to them

🍁 Where you have Sagittarius in your chart that's the area you will learn/explore the most, as well if you have Sag Placements .

🍁 Pluto plays a big role in how does the society perceives you, how much do you impact other people

🍁 Moon Dominants have a healing/kind aura. A moon dominant native is full of nurturing inside and out. A moon's lover

🍁 Sun in the 3rd/5th/11th houses tend to be creative since young, that kid who's always coming with something creative

🍁 Moon/Cancer/Pisces/Neptune in the 6th house natives really get so deeply affected by the things happening in their life

🍁 Jupiter in the 10th house can have so much luck in their careers/life paths, which is one of those really lucky placements

🍁 Uranus - Venus aspects, you may often approach relationships with innovation and an open mind. Also, you may crave love in different ways than others

🍁 Your Lilith and Chiron placements talk about your traumas and, of course, how to heal/get past them

🍁 Venus in Capricorn/10th house is such a good placement for setting standards in the relationship. Know your worth

🍁 Libra and Taurus Risings have a difficult life lesson, and that is to finally love themselves fully. What does loving yourself mean? To appreciate everything that you have

🍁 Sun in Taurus or Taurus degrees 2° 14° 26° makes the native to be lazy sometimes (its the dark traits of these placements), wanting to rest more than work, craving more free time

🍁 I love to see Aquarius & Leo combo placements in a chart is really the definition of ' bad bithces coming in twos'

🍁 Chiron in the 2nd/6th/8th/12th houses can make the native overall exhausted, too many things coming in your way

🍁 Where you have Leo in your chart is the area you will shine/get most attention from. Also, where you gain more popularity

🍁 Aries/Pisces/Libra/Capricorn Venus has really this vibe of 'I'm yours' or 'Do everything you want with me'

🍁 Sun harshly aspecting the Moon really shows the duality of the native, their complexity, Sun - Moon aspects are some of them most complex placements in astrology

🍁 Pluto in the 2nd house natives can become wealthy or abundant in life, can also experience up and downs with money

🍁 Uranus in the 2nd house is the moment when the native sometimes is broke, sometimes is financially good, money can come unexpectedly

🍁 Uranus in the 7th house is the moment when relationships can come unexpectedly in your life, soemtimes even when you're not ready

🍁 Uranus in the 6th or 10th house may change their jobs more than usual, but these placements are good because sometimes you get offers for jobs randomly

🍁 Fire Moons definition will be 'Fire to my heart' due to their strong and impulsive feelings. Really passionate placements

🍁 Aries Mars natives have a bold energy, of course because Mars is at home but is also in their personality they will make you feel more confident and strong

🍁 Jupiter - Moon aspects will gift the native with kindness, really genuine souls, often soft but liked by the people

🍁 Lilith - Uranus aspects can indicate a struggle with the natives freedom. Sometimes, you just crave it, can be any type of freedom like mental freedom, physical freedom, emotional freedom

🍁 Virgo in the 4th/8th/12th houses can create a sense of 'scared of death' to the native, can also talk about the native falling over misconception of death

🍁 Moon in your 6th house is an underatted people pleaser placement since the 6th house represents the service for others

🍁 When Pisces & Capricorn Placements are under stress, they tend to make false illusions of things going worse, they both share it

🍁 A Capricorn Saturn is heavily protected, somehow as a reminder that Saturn is at home here and is more easily for Saturn to send karma back

🍁 Sun in the 10th house can make you more career oriented, raining with money for you. Lots of potential for this placement

🍁 Neptune aspecting Venus, yes, is true that they dream of true love, but most of these natives experience intense relationships with these placements.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

'Everything is better after dark'

Good Thursday everyone 🍁✨️ also have a good start of autumn 🍂

Harmoonix 🍂🍂🍂

[dalovestation]

The Next Track : What's Next in Love?

what's next for your love story? pick your track, press play, and let the cards reveal the next hit on your love playlist!

before listening: remember that the power is always in your hands, not only is this just a general reading, it will either resonate or it won't, but also this is only the current energy of things. energies can always change, only you can change your fate. nothing is set in stone :) take a deep breath & pick a pile tip jar. ♥︎ paid services

Pile One ⠀ ♪

You’ve been working hard to create a stable and fulfilling life for yourself, but there’s a quiet part of you that feels like something’s missing. You’ve learned to rely on yourself so much that you sometimes wonder if emotional connection is even worth the effort. Deep down, you might feel like letting people in has only ever led to disappointment or complications. You have a tendency to second-guess your emotions, especially when it comes to love and vulnerability. Maybe you’ve dealt with people who were inconsistent, emotionally immature, or who didn’t respect your boundaries, which left you feeling like you have to do all the emotional heavy lifting. Now, you may keep your guard up, unsure whether others are capable of meeting your depth and sincerity. At the same time, there’s a part of you that craves genuine love—a kind that’s calm, steady, and safe. You dream of a connection with someone who understands you without you having to explain yourself repeatedly, someone who offers love in a way that feels healing rather than draining. You want a partner who’s emotionally present, someone who matches your maturity and can help you feel secure in love again. Still, you might struggle with overthinking or even self-doubt. You sometimes catch yourself replaying situations in your head, wondering if you were “too much” or not enough. Maybe you hesitate to express how you really feel because you’re afraid it might be misunderstood or used against you. These fears are valid—after all, you’ve had to learn the hard way that not everyone values love the same way you do.

But here’s the exciting part: there’s a spark coming into your life. It could be a person or a situation that reignites your hope and excitement for love. It’s bold, thrilling, and full of potential to transform the way you view relationships. It won’t just bring passion; it’ll remind you of the joy and beauty of connection. The person or situation entering your life next is likely to feel entirely different from what you’ve experienced in the past. They embody emotional maturity, kindness, and the ability to connect on a level that feels safe and reassuring. This could be someone who understands the complexities of relationships, who isn’t afraid of vulnerability, and who approaches love with patience and care. Their energy will feel steady and comforting, like an anchor after a storm.

This next chapter in your love story isn’t just about finding someone—it’s about rediscovering your power to embrace love while still standing firm in your independence. It’s about letting yourself feel the passion and excitement that you’ve been longing for, without losing the sense of self you’ve worked so hard to build.

Pile Two ⠀ ♪

You might feel like you’re constantly at a crossroads, reflecting on where you’ve been and where you’re going. Sometimes it feels like you’re stuck in a cycle, unable to fully break free from old patterns or emotions. You’ve worked hard to create stability in your life, but there’s a lingering sense that something is missing, like there’s a piece of the puzzle you just can’t find. Even when opportunities present themselves, you might feel disconnected from them, unsure if they’re what you truly want or deserve. Deep down, you might struggle with emotional blockages that make it hard to fully open up or embrace new beginnings. There’s a part of you that wonders if love—true, reciprocal love—is even out there for you. Past experiences may have left you feeling like relationships are unbalanced, where you give more than you receive. You’ve likely dealt with people who took advantage of your kindness or made you question your worth. These experiences might make you cautious, reluctant to fully trust or hope for something better. At times, you might feel torn between wanting to connect and fearing the vulnerability that comes with it. You could overthink interactions, replaying conversations in your head or wondering if you’ve done too much or too little. You have high standards for yourself and for others, and you’re deeply aware of how unfair life or love has felt in the past. This self-awareness, while powerful, can sometimes make you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

But here’s the truth: you’re entering a phase where you reclaim your power and step into your full potential. The energy coming into your life is one of balance and reciprocity, where you finally experience the kind of connection that feels equal and fulfilling. You’re learning to embody confidence, to own your worth, and to stand unapologetically in your power. You’ll attract people and opportunities that match your energy, who see you for the incredible person you are and are eager to meet you halfway. This next chapter isn’t just about external love—it’s about falling in love with yourself again. It’s about knowing that you deserve respect, admiration, and care without having to overthink or over-give to earn it. The right people and situations will naturally align with you because you’re radiating confidence, self-worth, and clarity.

Pile Three ⠀ ♪

You might feel like you’re in a strange limbo, constantly questioning everything but struggling to find clarity. There’s a part of you that feels like you don’t have the full picture—whether it’s in love, friendships, or your life path. It’s almost as if you’re stuck in a cycle of overthinking and second-guessing your own intuition. You may feel like people are keeping things from you or that you’re disconnected from your own inner knowing. This sense of uncertainty can be frustrating, leaving you wondering if you’re moving forward or just treading water. At the same time, you crave stability, celebration, and a sense of belonging. Deep down, you long for a connection or environment that feels like home—a space where you can truly be yourself without fear of judgment. You might fantasize about building a life filled with joy, partnership, and shared milestones, yet it feels just out of reach. Even when moments of happiness or connection come, there’s a part of you that hesitates to fully embrace them, unsure if they’ll last or if you can trust them to be real. A big part of what’s holding you back is resistance to change. You might be clinging to old patterns, relationships, or fears because they feel familiar, even if they’re not serving you anymore. Transformation can feel scary, especially when it requires letting go of what you thought was certain. You may find yourself revisiting old wounds, memories, or even people, trying to make sense of why they still have a hold on you. It’s as if you’re standing on the edge of change but not quite ready to take the leap. This hesitation might also leave you feeling isolated or disconnected. You might want guidance but avoid reaching out, feeling like you need to figure things out on your own. There’s a fear of being vulnerable, of letting people see your struggles or doubts. But this isolation isn’t helping—it’s keeping you stuck in your own head, where those same questions and fears repeat over and over.

What’s coming for you is the opportunity to finally break free. The universe is urging you to embrace change, to let go of the old patterns and beliefs that are keeping you stuck. You’re being called to trust yourself, to connect with your inner wisdom, and to step into the light after a long period of introspection. This next chapter will bring moments of clarity and joy, moments where you feel like you’re finally stepping into alignment with your true self. It’s about learning to trust the process, even when it feels uncertain, and to lean on others when you need support. You’re moving toward a life where you feel more connected—not just to others, but to yourself and the path you’re meant to walk. It’s time to stop holding onto what’s familiar and take that leap of faith. The transformation you’ve been resisting is exactly what will bring you the joy and freedom you’ve been longing for. Trust that the universe has your back, and let yourself move forward. The only thing standing in your way now is the fear of stepping into your own power.

Thank you for reading, every like & reblog are much appreciated! Much love, the lovecaster

[theheightofdishonor]

GL Recs Masterlist

I've watched a couple hundred gls now and so I thought i'd put it to good use and help other people find some. There's not enough gl rec lists anyway

First things first, I'll like to direct you to https://mydramalist.com/list/1xrpwdW3 which is a gl rec list on mdl with more than 200+ titles + links. It's an EXCELLENT resource, kept up to date and even tracks upcoming titles.

Now for stuff that I've watched and thought are decent. I'll link all of these to their mdl page and the links to watch the show can usually be found in the comments. If you're new to gl, be warned that a lot of these are pretty short, ranging from 1-30 minutes.

1 in 10,000 (2018) Korea. This is a soulmates piece told in 3 parts following two girls through different parts of their lives. I think this got more confusing as it went on but I really liked Act I and I think it's worth watching. It's beautiful and angsty and a bit artsy. I'm pretty sure it has a happy ending but don't quote me on that.

Afraid of (2019) Korea. A short film about a girl struggling with her sexuality. Yeah, I know, there's a THOUSAND of these but I do like this one. It's beautifully shot and there's a lot of heart.

Am I the only one with butterflies? (2018) Korea. A girl blogs about falling in love with the manager at her new job. I like part ii better than part one but it's just cute and the pining is very similar to het kdramas.

Anonymous high school girl (2022) Korea. A low stakes love triangle. Good chemistry, low budget, awful kisses.

The Beauty of the Law (2023) China- If you're not familar with chinese gls, I think it's certainly something to get used to. This is like in the top 1% of the category. It's an ad for Adolph Shampoo and i'm going to let you know that they're going to appear often on this list because they make excellent gls. It's a historical about a female unlicensed lawyer trying to help a woman escape her abusive marriage. Makes great points about gender imbalances and women's historical lack of legal rights in China. (f you like this one, Sheng Wei, one of the actresses stars in 50%+ of all chinese gls, check her out)

Beguine (2018) Thailand - It's if the school dancing scene in My School President was a 30 minute sequence with two girls. No plot but adorable.

Cat in the eastern palace (2020) China - Watch this just to have the surreal experience of seeing like 3 whole cdrama arcs which normally take 20ish eps executed in a 7 minute timeframe. Also because it stars laoji who's in the other 50% of chinese gls. As for plot, it's about a cat spirit and a girl pretending to be the crown prince.

Clasper (2021) Thailand - And they were roommates! I liked the production, the dialogue and the acting was pretty decent.

Couple of Mirrors*** (2021) China- Wait to watch this because it will ruin you for everything else. This is like typical thai bl length, like 12 45~min episodes. It's a historical mystery about a wealthy woman who finds out about her husband's affair with her bff and the photographer she enlists to help her. If you watch one thing out of China, watch this.

Dear My Girlfriend (2021) Korea - A group project ft love triangle. It´s pretty classic. A girl starts dating someone who likes her only to realize she might instead be in love with her best friend. The editing is cute. It's a touch angsty as love triangles are and pretty well done.

Dear Uranus (2021) Taiwan. Another school love triangle. Does feature an adorkable female character, you know a bit awkward, a bit cutesy, if you hate this archetype, ignore this one. Personally I think the chemistry for the lead couple was lacking (genuinely shocking considering taiwan tends to be great at this) but both the love interests are hot and I am not immune to hot women

The Demonic lord and the virtuous cultivator (2021) China - Avoid this if you don't like toxic yuri. I personally love it so this is 10/10 for me. Orphan gets taken in by a benevolent benefactor who turns out to be her parents' killer and eventually....you know what go watch it.

Encore Martha (2021) Taiwan. One of the few gls about older women. A tomboy reunites with her first love. This one's only available on gagaoolala so you'll either need a subscription or sometimes they promote it for free. If you can find it though, it's worth a watch.

Family Plan (2016) Korea. This is a bit of an odd one to describe. The first half is two high school girls who are dating. And then the second half is their relationship as adults where they marry guys and use it to have a kid that they raise as theirs. I liked how this examined how two gay people would go about their relationship in in a world where they can't freely be with each other.

Favorite Girl (2022) Thailand. Very standard plot about a girl suffering from a breakup and her roommate but something about it stuck out to me.

Five steps to accept farewell (2016) Korea. Warning for unhappy ending. This is all pure angst, a 9 minute snapshot into a breakup. I like how it's done and the messiness of the situation.

Fragrance of the first flower (2021) Taiwan. A beautifully shot, beautifully acted, slightly too short show about two ex-lovers reuniting ft. all the angst about living in a homophobic society. It stayed in my head for weeks after I first watched it.

Girls Blood** (2014) Japan. A movie about 4 "girls" in an underground fight club. warnings for rape, trauma, domestic assault. One of the main characters is a trans man. There are sex scenes. It's very queer and I highly recommend.

Girls Love** (2016) China. Pre-censorship China had some very wonderful queer work and one of them was this movie It's about a girl who falls in love with her hot butch roommate ft all the tropes AND we get to see them function in a relationship instead of the movie ending when they get together. Warning for both characters being forcibly outed at the end. (nothing bad really happens to them after though). Also do NOT watch the sequel. If you go to mdl, everyone else will also tell you not to watch the sequel and I foolishly did not listen to those people because I liked these girls so much and I suffered for my mistake.

The Girls on Rela (2016) China. It's an anthology of short, I wouldn't say stories, more like moments, sponsored by a lesbian dating app. Each one's really short but the acting and scripts are all pretty good.

The Girls on Rela Season 2** (2016) China. This is sponsored by the same company but it's a totally different format. It's one long show about two girls cohabiting. Pretty well executed if a bit slow.

Graduation, Present + Propose (2021) Korea. A short about a high school girl giving a graduation present to her crush. What it does it does well. It's pretty.

The Handmaiden (2016) Korea. Historical set movie about a conman and thief girl who plot to steal a heiress’s fortune. I make it sound boring but that's only because it's a pretty popular movie and everything to be said about it has already been said.

Happy to have you here (2021) Thailand. Two friends have a sleepover and figure out their feelings. This is definitely in the top 20% for this trope, even though they rushed just a tad into the kiss.

Hello, spring is coming (2019) Korea. I'll let you read the synopsis for this one. What you need to know is that it's pretty, well acted, has good chemistry and is as brightly colored as a lollipop. It's a bit disorienting, parts of it doesn't make a lot of sense but it's a fun time.

I broke up because of you (2023) Korea- A bartender and their client catches feelings for each other. The dynamic is nice, the kiss less so but it can be forgiven.

I’m her weapon (2022) China- It's kinky, it's angsty, it's 3 minutes long and still fits in a separation arc. I would pay money for an extended version.

Kanojo no Kuchidzuke Kansensuru Libido (2022) Japan - two girls fall in love in a hospital. I like the tone of this one.

The L Bang** (2015) China- Another Rela production. It's a 4 episode comedy about a bunch of lesbians + (1) gay man who live in the same apartment complex. It's got queer friendship, queer acceptance and queer love. It's just wonderful. It feels like 2000s American sitcoms but queer and Chinese.

Led Astray by Love (2022) China- Fairly long for a cgl. A girl gets transported to a manhwa and falls in love with the ruler. Sunshine/grumpy. This baby is 52 minutes long and covers like the same amount of plot as word of honor does in 30 something episodes.

Legend of Yunze (2021) China - A human and a half demon vanquish demons from a village. It has a second season and a special that I haven't watched yet.

The Lost World** [Xia Ye Zhi Dao Feng De Tian] (2023) China - After watching as much cgl as I have, I was shocked to see Laoji in a modern piece. This is a college setting running-into-a-childhood-friend trope. The pacing and chemistry are both pretty good. It's one of my favorites from her.

Love in the Tinder Age** (2019) Korea- A black comedy about a bullied lesbian's failed suicide attempt ft psychics, ghosts and a teacher/student relationship. It's not really a gl because the main character doesn't get a romance BUT it's really fun so you should watch it anyway.

Love of Secret** (2022) Thailand- More of a slice of life than a love story but it's cute and fluffy and the main character very much is in a relationship. The actual plot is about a med student who's hiding both her relationship with her best friend and her dreams to be an idol. I found it positively charming.

Lover’s Concerto** (2002) Korea- Calling this a gl is a stretch. It's more just queer? The girls were most likely in love but they don't end up together and the movie itself doesn't really have a happy ending. I did find it beautiful though.

Mayfly angel (2024) Korea- Classic discovers-feelings-for-bestie-after-a-breakup plot. Warning that this is angsty and they don't end up together. But I found it realistic and I liked that they felt like two real people. Take that how you will.

Miss shen and the woman warlord (2023) China- a woman cross-dresses as another young woman's fiance and they fall in love. Despite how i describe it, there's a decent amount of plot and some political commentary.

More or less than 75 celsius (2019) Korea- A tea master and her supervisor fall in love. It's sparse and short but cute.

My Dear (2021) Thailand. A drunk girl confesses to her friend and luckily for her, it's mutual. It's 5 minutes long but it uses its time well and the acting is nice. It feels a bit like gmmtv's confessions. If you like it, the production company ShakeShoulder makes TONS of gl shorts and i'd recommend checking them out.

No distance left to run  (2022) Hong Kong. a 15 minute short film about how fame causes issues in a pop star's relationship. Unhappy ending. The song's a bop though and it's well done.

Nü er hong** (2023) China. I forgot to mention but this one, the legend of yunze and the lost world are all produced by the same studio. They do a lot of fairly long chinese gls. The story is about these two beings from an alien world who crash land on earth and are hunted. One is a healer and the other is a killer, they're in love, the killer goes insane so her lover kills her. Unbeknownst to them, they're immortal so the killer wakes up with no memories 200 years later. The pacing is better than some of their earlier stuff but it's not quite perfect here yet. It is one of my favorites from the studio though and it ends happily.

Our relationship ended before it began (2022) Korea. A barista falls in love with her manager at a coffee shop ft gender roles, miscommunication and the classic "cool one picks on the nice one to show affection" trope.

Pyramid Game** (2024) Korea. This is more gl adjacent like Devil Judge and Beyond Evil. There is a secondary gl couple that's more explicitly canon though. If you've watched other kdramas about school bullying, this is pretty similar except it's an all-girls school and everyone is so gay. It's got so much heart and is one of my favorite shows of the year.

Really, Lily? (2019) Korea. A 6 minute short about two girls who visit a cafe and beats up two men who were making homophobic remarks about them. It's surprisingly comedic and the coloring is bright to match. Features a pretty decent kiss. Watching it, I wished it was longer but what's there is still good.

Secret of us (2024) Thailand. The only longform thai gl that i've liked enough to finish. It's about an idol who comes back to win over her doctor ex. It falters from ep 6 onwards but until then, the show is really good at showing the emotional thought processes of the characters and the way they construct the story is compelling, even though I don't even like second chance romances.

Shackles (2023) China. Another one from the Chinese shampoo ad. The pairing itself is not my favorite but it's so cool that this is basically a warning against nuclear pollution AND features chinese mythology that's used in the brand's marketing. Like a 3 in 1. It's so interesting.

She Makes My heart flutter (2022) Korea. Baby lesbian finds out her aunt runs a lesbian bar and starts working there. It's so goddamn cute but it has this weird relationship with homophobia where everyone in the show is apparently 100% ok with queerness but a lot of the aunt's actions is so driven by her being a queer person in an unaccepting society. A bit like how Moonlight Chicken deals with Jin and Li Ming's different attitudes towards being queer except they don't dwell on why the aunt is the way she is or what she's been through. Anyways, it's worth a watch.

Sleep with me (2022) Philippines. A 6 episode series about two girls who are disabled in different ways fall in love. One of them can only sleep during the day and the other is in a wheelchair and the show does a pretty decent job at showing how these disabilities affect their lives and their relationship

Soshite, Yuriko wa Hitori ni Natta** (2020) Japan. If you follow me, you may have seen me talk about this show earlier this year because I found it and promptly fell in love. It's not quite gl but Mizuki's actions are all driven by the fact that she's in love with Yuriko. It's queerer than you would expect, less queer than you might want. It's a supernatural-adjacent school horror about a girl who's new school has a weird thing where every year, a girl named Yuriko becomes "Yuriko sama" and rules the school while everyone else in that year with the same name mysteriously dies. Yuriko's best friend Mizuki plots to make the sweet innocent Yuriko the newest Yuriko-sama to save her life. It's weird, there's plot holes everywhere by the end, it definitely vilifies it's gays and the ending is weak but it's such a compelling watch.

Stand-in love (2023) Philippines. 2 best friends have a ‘stand in’ relationship where the straight one helps the lesbian one learn how to court someone but they end up falling in love with each other. Like 20 min long and I love it.

Ti Shen** [The substitute] (2017) Taiwan. The mdl synopsis can describe the plot better than I can but it's a romance between an idol and a normal girl that's split into two parts. The first half is about them meeting in high school, the second is when they reunite later on a movie set where one of them is the other's stunt double. I think the first part could've been a bit longer but it's a great movie.

Transit Girls (2015) Japan. Stepsisters. Happy ending though and it's fairly long. I liked this mostly because I like Japan's moody stuff. I also liked how they handled the male love interest.

Truth or Dare (2022) Korea. A 10 minute short about two girls who like each other playing truth or dare. It does a great job at building tension and revealing things without saying it.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna** (2022) Japan. A woman who loves to cook comes to an arrangement with her neighbor who loves to eat. Japan does food-centered dramas better than everyone else and this is no exception. The romance itself is slow and you watch how their dynamic changes through this and the season two that came out this year.

The Twelve flower gods: Camelia (2020) China. A xianxia romance about a girl falling in love with a flower but it's a minute twenty so I promise you're not watching for the plot. You're watching to witness the ridiculous amount of innuendos that they manage to fit in under two minutes.

Twin souls of destiny (2023) China. Xianxia romance between two elves, one who is made from the memories of the other's past life. I want someone else to watch this so we can discuss whether or not this is selfcest. The color combination is interesting because I very rarely see lovers in red and purple. The time travel is confusing but it's a good time and laoji is in it.

Until Rainbow Dawn** (2018) Japan. Movie about two deaf girls falling in love ft homophobic parents. The director is a deaf lesbian herself so the movie does a wonderful job in how it depicts deafness and their relationship. It's really well done

When the light pours (2022) Korea. A girl's boyfriend wants her to sing him a song so she enrolls in guitar lessons and ends up falling in love with her teacher. The girls don't get together and I really wish they had! So if you watch this, don't watch the ending and pretend that they did end up together.

[sykestarot]

what's holding you back? how should you move forward?

1-2-3 (left to right)

I do not own any of these images

Hi guys I felt this was the message that needed be heard this week and some of it got very specific. Lmk what you think! Thanks for stopping by ily!!

Pile 1

“it consumes my mind, it consumes my soul, it wants my life, it wants complete control” (8 of cups (rx); 8 of wands (rx; The Emperor; The Hermit; king of wands; The Star) This pile might struggle with mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. When channeling your energy pile one I had a heavy chest and a hard time breathing. You could be pushing yourself too hard and not taking a break. Or avoiding taking a break because then you’ll see how much pain you’re in. Either way I feel very heavy energies with you. I see you feel stagnant in your life, but this is because you refuse to make changes because you feel comfortable in the routine or cycle you’re in. I’m also seeing for some of you, that you went through something hard recently and you’re keeping yourself hidden due to fears of it happening again. This situation led you to forget how much power you hold and how truly beautiful you are. I think you might expect life to happen for you, even though you’re not really leaving your house. Sometimes we have to make things happen for ourselves, although I do understand not wanting to because of the fear of the unknown. The advice that the cards give you is to remember how you sparkle. I feel like your current energy is the song I channeled but the energy you need to embody is bejeweled by Taylor Swift lol. Two very different energies. Spirit is telling you to lean on them and let go of the past, because holding onto that is only going to make your journey to the top slower. I’m also not sure if this situation involved a betrayal but spirit is also letting you know that two people’s perspectives that may differ on the same situation can both be true at the same time. I also see in this advice that this is a journey you have to go on alone. I understand how daunting this may feel but I promise you have the strength and the resilience to get through this. I keep hearing “I wish you could see the way you shine”. Signs: August; the number 8; 8 mile; Eminem?; blue sapphire; stardust the movie; Aquarius; girl in red?; insomnia; overthinking; stripped socks; dark room lit up by tv; “remember who you are” - lion king

Pile 2

"Je te laisserai des mots" (2 of swords (rx); 3 of swords; The High Priestess; The Empress (rx); Justice (rx); 8 of wands (rx)) Hi Pile 2! I feel like for you guys you recently went through a breakup, possibly with your first love, or someone you thought was your forever. Maybe you guys were on and off for a while and you really believe this person will come back. I see that in terms of what’s holding you back is that you don’t believe that you can live without this person and that’s not true. I see that you would’ve given this person the world. I hear that quote where one person says “you were a wonderful experience” and then the other person says, “you, you were everything.” And I feel like you’re the one saying that the other person was everything. Perhaps you're an artist and this person was your  muse and without them you feel like you can’t make your art anymore. I genuinely feel empty channeling your energy. I see that what’s holding you back is the idea that this person was the only reason you were successful, which couldn’t be further from the truth pile 2. You are worth so much more than what you create. I also feel that you only value yourself by how much you create or do and that you punish yourself for not meeting a certain quota. But because of the loss you’re going through right now you’re not meeting quotas because you’re hurt not because you are an unproductive being. If you leave this reading with one thing I hope that it is that you are worth so much more than just what you create. As far as advice goes for you I see that you need to place trust in the mysteries of life. Most times you don’t know what life has in store for you even if you think you do. Place trust in your heart and your gut feelings. Rest when you feel you need to and create when you feel the need to. I also see that your inner monologue could be hurting you, the pessimism in your mind could be keeping you in a cycle of self hatred and unproductivity and they're working hand in hand to keep you stagnant. Try to think more positively and be gentler with yourself and you’ll see progress almost immediately. I’m also seeing that when you step back and see the bigger picture you’ll find that everything happens for a reason, and almost every ending leads to a new beginning. I believe in you pile 2 you can do it!! Signs: 222’; piano; marble; fine arts; french?; museums; pine scent; guitar; the color blue; long distance; wishing on stars; turn back time; Romeo and Juliet; “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” ; paintings; indie

Pile 3

“keeping me from who I need to be, distracting me from what I need to do” Pile 3 I feel like for you what’s holding you back is your inability to admit that you are wrong about something. For you I see you continuing to try to do something that isn’t working and probably hasn’t worked for you either ever or for a long time. I see that for you your destiny holds much more than what you are doing. I see that you are going down a path that is filled with obstacles and you believe that it’s because it’ll give you a better success story when these obstacles are not even obstacles there more like road blocks. I see this pile is more of a career pile. I also feel like I can hear you while reading this immediately going, “pfft this isn’t for me”. If you thought this at all then this pile is exactly for you. I don’t know if someone told you that you wouldn’t make it in the line of work you’re in but I do see that you took that and made it the fire that lit you up. For most of you though this is a job that you can make it in but it won’t fulfill you in the way you think it will because at the end of the day I believe you don’t actually enjoy this job. SO if you feel like your life is stagnant or staying in the same place it’s because this career isn’t meant for you. I feel like you also know what career is meant for you and you’re being super stubborn. I also feel like when you talk to people you’re close to about your job issues they immediately bring up your other option of what you could be doing. Like if you’re a lawyer and it’s draining you and you tell your friend and they immediately go “oh what about the art you used to make you know you were great at that!” I also feel that this irritates you lol. I feel like you know and are aware of it at the very least. The universe has been sending you signs about this for what I believe could be years. But you do what you feel is right for you. As far as advice goes for you pile three I see it’s time to heal. Perhaps the reason you're staying in this job is because you feel the need to get recognition to stick it to the person who told you you couldn’t. That’s not necessarily the healthiest behavior for ourselves. I also see that you need to start thinking of laying something solid down for the rest of your life, so maybe this job is also not letting you provide for yourself or others and on top of all of that you don’t enjoy it? I think spirit wants you to think in long term goals and does this job or cycle let you pursue those? Spirit would also like you to know that you aren’t alone. I really heavily feel that given the opportunity your friends would love to support you in any endeavor and are probably rooting for you to leave this situation. So go ahead and reach out when you’re ready to leave!! Many people love you and only want the best for you, remember that. :)  Signs: October 6th; October; June; pumpkins; hammers; carpentry; wood?; post malone; trinkets; working with hands; toxic positivity; hard helmets; hammers; beer; heinekens

[muiitoloko]

Hey:) i don't know if your laptop is working again but i wanted to make a request if it's okay. Can your write something about Karl Hoffmeister please? He has so much work to do and looks for a nanny to look at his son because he is working so much. His wife left and so he needs someone. That's when y/n is coming, she's the perfekt nanny and Karl and y/n are falling in love or something? Its just an idea so i'm not mad if you don't do it :)) Thank you

Title: The Nanny's Promise

Summary: Karl Hoffmeister, a weary industrialist, is struggling to find a suitable nanny for his young son, Otto, after his wife leaves them. Despite having little experience, a determined young woman named [Your Name] secures the position by promising to care for Otto with the same love and dedication she gave her siblings.

Pairing: Karl Hoffmeister × Fem! Reader

Warning: none.

Author's Notes: Hey there! 😊 Unfortunately, my beloved and dear friend, my laptop, is currently resting in peace 😅 But I'm still writing on my cell phone—it's a bit more complicated, but totally worth it! Your idea about Karl Hoffmeister and the perfect nanny sounds fantastic, and I'll definitely see what I can do with it! Thanks for the suggestion! 😊

Also read on Ao3

Karl sighed as he sent in another possible nanny for his son, Otto. He had already gone through many interviews that day, wanting to ensure that his son would have the best possible care. The day had been long and disappointing; three interviews so far, and none of the candidates had impressed him. He told the next one to come in, not even looking up as he pointed for her to sit in front of him. He heard the candidate greet him softly as she took her seat.

Karl picked up her CV and began to read, noting with a frown that it was almost blank—no past experience, just basic education. She was young, which explained the lack of experience, but it did little to alleviate his concerns. He read her name out loud, “[Your Name],” and finally looked up. He paused, absorbing her simple yet striking beauty. She had the fresh, earnest look of a young working-class woman, her eyes bright with determination.

Karl mentally scolded himself. It did not matter if she was beautiful. What mattered was finding a competent nanny for his son, especially now that he was too busy with work and Charlotte had run away with her lover, leaving him and Otto behind.

"Miss [Your Last Name]," Karl began, his baritone voice steady, though a hint of weariness seeped through. "I see you have limited experience. Can you tell me why you think you are suited for this position despite that?"

You met his gaze, your own nerves evident but your resolve clear. "Mr. Hoffmeister, I understand that my CV does not reflect much in terms of professional experience. However, I have taken care of my younger siblings for many years. I have a natural inclination towards caregiving, and I am very quick to learn. I am hardworking and deeply committed to any task I take on."

Karl nodded slightly, noting the sincerity in your voice. "Taking care of siblings is quite different from being responsible for someone else's child. What makes you think you can handle the responsibilities of being a nanny for my son?"

You straightened in your chair, the intensity of your gaze reflecting your determination. "I believe that caregiving requires patience, empathy, and dedication, all qualities that I possess. I understand the importance of creating a safe and nurturing environment for a child. I may not have formal experience, but I am committed to learning and doing my best."

Karl considered your words, his eyes searching your face for any signs of insincerity. He found none. Instead, he saw a young woman who, despite her lack of experience, seemed genuinely eager to take on the challenge. He sighed inwardly. Otto needed someone reliable, and perhaps, someone with fresh enthusiasm could be beneficial.

"Very well," Karl said finally, his voice softening slightly. "Tell me, how would you handle a situation where Otto, who can be quite stubborn at times, refuses to follow instructions or throws a tantrum?"

You thought for a moment before replying. "I believe in a balanced approach. It is important to be firm but also to understand the child's perspective. If Otto were to throw a tantrum, I would remain calm and patient, trying to understand the root of his distress. I would use positive reinforcement to encourage good behavior and set clear, consistent boundaries."

Karl nodded, appreciating your thoughtful response. He leaned back in his chair, his hooked nose casting a shadow over his face as he regarded you. "And what about his education? Otto is quite bright for his age. How would you contribute to his intellectual development?"

Your eyes lit up at the question. "I love reading and learning, and I believe in fostering a child's curiosity. I would engage Otto with educational games, storytelling, and interactive activities that stimulate his mind. I would also work closely with you to ensure that his learning aligns with your expectations and values."

Karl felt a glimmer of hope. Perhaps, despite the lack of experience, you might just be the right fit. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "Miss [Your Last Name], I appreciate your candidness and enthusiasm. This position is crucial, and I need someone who can be both a caregiver and a positive influence in Otto's life. I am willing to give you a trial period. If you prove capable, the position will be yours permanently."

Your heart skipped a beat, relief and excitement flooding through you. "Thank you, Mr. Hoffmeister. I promise I will not disappoint you."

Karl gave a small, approving nod. "Very well. You may start tomorrow. Be here by eight in the morning. We will see how things go from there."

As you left the room, Karl allowed himself a small smile. Perhaps, amidst the disappointments of the day, he had finally found someone who could bring a bit of stability back into his and Otto's lives.

Over the course of the next two days, you settled into your new role, quickly winning over Otto with your kindness and patience. Karl watched from a distance, his initial skepticism slowly giving way to admiration. You handled Otto’s tantrums with a calm demeanor, diffusing his stubbornness with a combination of firmness and understanding. Your enthusiasm for learning and engaging Otto in educational activities impressed Karl, who found himself lingering longer in the evenings just to observe your interactions with his son.

Karl's workload remained heavy, but knowing Otto was in capable hands allowed him to focus more on his business. As days turned into weeks, and then months, the household began to settle into a new, comfortable rhythm. Karl began to notice the small things you did that went beyond your duties as a nanny: the way you instinctively tidied up around the house, the meals you prepared that Otto loved, and the genuine affection you showed his son.

One evening, after a particularly grueling day at work, Karl arrived home to find you and Otto in the garden. You were kneeling in the dirt, showing Otto how to plant flowers. Otto's face was alight with excitement, his laughter ringing through the air as he dug into the soil with his small hands.

Karl stood at the doorway, watching the scene unfold. You looked up and noticed him, giving him a warm smile. "Mr. Hoffmeister, you're home early," you said, standing up and brushing the dirt off your hands.

Karl nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yes, I managed to finish my meetings earlier than expected," he replied, his baritone voice carrying a hint of exhaustion. He walked over to join you and Otto, his eyes softening as he watched his son.

"Daddy, look!" Otto exclaimed, holding up a small plant proudly. "We're planting flowers!"

Karl crouched down beside Otto, ruffling his son's hair affectionately. "That's wonderful, Otto. You’re doing a great job."

You stood back, watching the interaction with a sense of quiet satisfaction. Seeing Karl with Otto always brought a smile to your face; it was clear how much he loved his son, despite the demands of his work.

As the months passed, you continued to integrate yourself into the household seamlessly. Karl found himself looking forward to your daily interactions, appreciating your presence more and more. You brought a warmth and stability that had been missing since Charlotte left, and he couldn’t help but be drawn to you.

One evening, as you were cleaning up after dinner, Karl approached you in the kitchen. "Miss [Your Last Name]," he began, his tone uncharacteristically hesitant. "I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for Otto and me. You've been an incredible help, and I don't know how we would have managed without you."

You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his with genuine warmth. "Thank you, Mr. Hoffmeister. It's been a pleasure taking care of Otto. He’s a wonderful boy."

Karl took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "You’ve done more than just take care of him. You've brought life back into this house. For that, I am truly grateful."

Your heart skipped a beat at the intensity in his gaze. "I’m happy to be here, Mr. Hoffmeister. I care about Otto, and I care about this family."

Karl felt a surge of emotion, his usual composure slipping for a moment. "Please, call me Karl," he said softly, his voice filled with a sincerity that took you by surprise.

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "Alright, Karl."

From that evening on, the dynamic between you and Karl began to shift. There were more shared glances, more moments of unspoken understanding. Karl found himself lingering in the kitchen after Otto had gone to bed, simply enjoying your company. The conversations grew deeper, moving from discussions about Otto's day to more personal topics. He told you about his work, the pressures he faced as an industrialist, and even shared some memories of his own childhood.

You listened with rapt attention, offering your insights and encouragement. Your empathy and understanding made Karl feel heard and valued in a way he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He began to realize that his feelings for you were growing, his admiration slowly turning into something deeper.

One particularly cold evening, as a winter storm raged outside, the two of you found yourselves alone in the living room. The fire crackled in the fireplace, casting a warm glow over the room. Otto had gone to bed early, exhausted from a day of playing in the snow. You and Karl sat on the couch, sipping hot cocoa and talking quietly.

As you laughed at a story Karl shared about his early days in business, he looked at you, his heart swelling with affection. "You have a wonderful laugh," he said, his voice soft and sincere.

You blushed, looking down at your cocoa. "Thank you, Karl. You’re very kind."

He reached out, gently lifting your chin so you would meet his gaze. "No, it’s the truth. You've brought so much joy into our lives. I don’t know how to express how grateful I am."

You felt a rush of warmth at his words, your heart pounding in your chest. "I’m just doing what I can," you said softly. "Otto and you mean a lot to me."

Karl’s eyes held yours, a depth of emotion reflected in them. "And you mean a great deal to us," he whispered, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek.

The moment was charged with unspoken feelings, the slow burn of months of growing affection coming to a head. Karl leaned in slightly, his eyes flickering to your lips before meeting your gaze again. You held your breath, your heart racing with anticipation.

But then, he hesitated, pulling back slightly. "I don’t want to rush you," he said, his voice filled with genuine concern. "I want to make sure this is something you want as well."

You smiled, your hand reaching out to cover his. "Karl, I’ve felt the same way for a while now," you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion. "I care about you, deeply."

Relief and joy flooded Karl’s features as he closed the distance between you, capturing your lips in a tender, heartfelt kiss. The world outside seemed to disappear as you melted into each other, the warmth of the fire matching the warmth in your hearts.

From that night on, the bond between you and Karl only grew stronger. You continued to care for Otto, and now, you cared for each other as well. It was a slow burn, but one that had been worth every moment, bringing love and happiness back into a household that had once felt so empty.

[doumadono]

can I have a emergency request please?

can u make headcanons for hawks and gojo having a overweight reader and she insecure about it

(i get made fun of for my weight alot and it ended up making me have a toxic relationship with food)

i don't know if this counts as a emergency request so please ignore if it doesn't and sorry for bothering you

A/N: it pains me to know that people can be hurtful, especially when it comes to something as personal as our bodies. I want you to know that you're not alone in this struggle. I understand the impact of weight-related bullying, as I went through a similar experience a few years ago when I was critically overweighted. It's crucial to remember that your worth is not determined by your weight, and you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Developing a healthy relationship with food can be a journey, but I believe in your strength to overcome these challenges. If you ever need someone to talk to or share your experiences with, I'm here for you

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Hawks

Despite societal expectations, Hawks is attracted to confidence, and he finds your self-assurance endearing.

Hawks is never shy about expressing his admiration. He showers you with genuine compliments regularly, making sure you know how beautiful he finds you.

"Hey, gorgeous, those curves of yours drive me wild. Wouldn't change a thing about you."

Whenever you express insecurity, Hawks is quick to respond with comforting words.

"You're perfect the way you are. I'm not with you because of some ideal image; I'm with you because I love you."

Hawks loves taking you shopping for clothes, picking out outfits that highlight your best features. "Let's find something that makes those curves pop, babe!"

Hawks is physically affectionate, hugging you from behind or placing sweet kisses on your forehead.

"Your weight doesn't define you. It's your heart, your mind – that's what matters most to me."

Hawks initiates heart-to-heart talks, reassuring you of his love and acceptance. "You're the only one for me. Don't let anyone nor anything make you feel less."

Hawks follows body positivity influencers on social media with you, creating a positive and uplifting environment. "Look at these amazing people celebrating their bodies. You're part of this beautiful spectrum, too."

Gojo

Gojo has a nonchalant attitude towards societal beauty standards. Your weight doesn't bother him in the slightest.

"Who cares about people's opinion? You're beautiful, and that's all that matters."

Gojo might engage in playful banter to lighten the mood when you're feeling insecure.

"Come on, don't let a few numbers on a scale mess with your head. You're perfect for me."

He doesn't hesitate to affirm your worth and beauty when needed.

"You're not defined by your size, sweetpie. You're defined by your strength, your kindness, and the incredible person you are."

If you decide to embark on a fitness journey, Gojo is your biggest cheerleader. "You're doing this for yourself, not because of anyone else's expectations. I'm here to support you, not to change you."

Sex with Gojo is filled with tenderness and genuine passion. "Your body is a masterpiece, and I'm lucky to have it all to myself, babygirl."

Expect movie nights with Gojo involve watching films that celebrate diverse bodies and love stories, reinforcing the idea that love isn't confined to societal expectations. "See, love comes in all shapes and sizes, just like us."

[sequinsmile-x]

Where You Go - Chapter 4

She isn’t sure what does it, whether it’s the condescending tone in her mother’s voice, or how she can hear her aunt laughing in the background, but she’s lying before she can stop herself.

“Actually, I am seeing someone."

AKA - the one where Emily asks Aaron, her best friend (who she happens to be hopelessly in love with) to pose as her boyfriend at her cousin's wedding, and things change between them forever.

-x-

Hi friends,

I am genuinely blown away by the love for this fic - reading all of your comments about these two idiots has been incredible.

I've never written fake dating quite like this before, so thank you for letting me experiment with a new trope to me. I really am so glad you liked this, and I am excited to know what you think of this final part <3

-x-

Warnings: full list of tags can be found on the Master List (this chapter does contain smut)

Words: 4.7k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

For a moment, she lets herself sink into it. 

It’s like her body is on autopilot, her hands wrapping delicately around his wrists, the question of when did he put his hands on my cheeks barely registering as she unconsciously moves closer to him. It felt new and exciting and explosive, but also like it was something they’d done a thousand times, not just this once. Like coming home after the longest journey, worth every single step on the rocky path that had led her there. 

It’s only when he sighs contentedly, something she feels rather than hears, that her brain kicks back into gear, confusion flooding through her, chasing away anything that might make this feel good. 

She wrenches herself back from him, her chest heaving as she does so, her fingers pressed against her lips, the pads of them against the warmth he left there, the warmth he seemed to leave everywhere, as she stares at him. 

“Aaron…what…” she swallows thickly and shakes her head, a strangled laugh forcing itself out of her chest, “What?” 

He swallows thickly, distracted by the taste of her on his lips as his tongue runs over them, lost for words as he tries to gather himself, the brief moment of everything he’d wanted for years wrapped up in a single kiss so overwhelming that he struggles for a few seconds. He simply stares at her, the confusion painted across her face somehow making her more beautiful and ethereal than she had ever been. He reprimands himself, his hands forming fists at his sides as he pulls himself together, his nails sharp as they dig into his palms, the sensation finally bringing his brain back online. 

“I heard you in the bathroom this morning,” he says, clearing his throat as she frowns at him, her eyebrows knitting together as she tries to figure out what he’s talking about, “When you were talking to JJ.”

Her heart drops into her stomach, warmth creeping across her skin, embarrassment sneaking up on her and placing its hand on her shoulder, causing a shiver to break out throughout her body, something he sees across the distance she had put between them.

“Oh god,” she grumbles, pressing her fingers against her forehead, her eyes screwing closed, “This is so fucking embarrassing,” the embarrassment is fleeting, pushed away by indignant anger as she looks back up at him, “You were listening to my conversation?” 

He puts his hands up in defence, “Not on purpose,” he exclaims, “I promise. The door isn’t exactly soundproof.” 

She deflates as the anger fades as quickly as it had appeared, and she nods in acknowledgement, the memory of his out-of-tune singing in the shower that morning hitting her with full force, “So…you heard me?” 

He nods, “Yes.” 

She presses her lips together, hope sparking in her belly, the unexpected kiss gasoline on the fire she’d been trying to stoke all weekend, “Why didn’t you say anything this morning?”

“I thought you were talking about Derek.” He grimaces, embarrassed about his earlier assumption, a feeling that only gets worse, his entire body burning with it, when she looks at him like he’s grown another head, her face screwed up as she chokes on a laugh. 

“Derek?” She asks incredulously, “You thought I was in love with Derek?” 

He clears his throat and shoves his hands into his pockets as he avoids eye contact, “You said you didn’t want to ruin your friendship, you mentioned Ian,” he looks at her again, sees how her amused smile has slipped away, and it makes him ache, his hands still firmly in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out for her, “And I knew how hard everyone was on you when you came back - especially him. I made an assumption.” 

She hums, “Well, you know what they say about assumptions,” she mutters, she steps closer to him, drawn in by the invisible force that had always been there. If she didn’t know how hard they’d both worked to get here, how much they had endured, she’d think it was the universe pushing them together, “Derek is far too self-assured for me,” she says, smiling as she reaches for him, her hand delicately wrapping around his wrist, encouraging his hand out of his pocket so she can link their fingers together, “I prefer the broody, slightly grumpy type.”

He tries, and fails, to fight a smile. He squeezes her hand, “If it isn’t clear,” he says, running his thumb back and forth over the heel of her hand, unsure which one of them he’s trying to soothe, “I love you, Emily,” her eyes start to shine, “And I have for a long time.”

A breath catches in her chest, filling the space she’d carved out for him a long time ago, but she still finds herself hesitating, past experience and unanswered questions forcing her to protect herself just a little while longer. 

“What about Beth?” She asks, her voice not sounding like her own, the confidence she’d spent a lifetime cultivating nowhere to be found, “You only just broke up with her.” 

The same guilt he’d felt when he broke up with Beth washes over him, shame for what felt like using the other woman to get over Emily threatening to pull him under. He’s briefly overwhelmed by it, but then he feels Emily squeeze his hand, her touch his port in a storm. When he looks back up at her, her eyes are full of understanding, full of something he now knows is love. 

“A misguided attempt to try to move forward because I was convinced you didn’t feel the same way,” he admits, his smile tight as he shrugs, “I broke up with her because it wasn’t fair on her. She deserved to be with someone who feels the same way about her that I feel about you.” 

She gasps quietly, the confession somehow more meaningful than anything else he’d said, his words quiet and unassuming and utterly life-changing. She leans forward, folding herself into his embrace, her cheek against his chest as he wraps his free around her, their linked hands trapped between them. She isn’t sure how long they stand there like that, how long she lets herself get lost in the feeling of being pressed up against him, how his palm spans almost the entirety of her back. 

“What would you have done?” She asks, pulling back to look at him, still close enough that their noses scrape by each other, “If I had been talking about Derek.” 

He sighs, his grip on her tightening at the thought of it, and his expression turns stern his jaw clenched before he responds, “I would have sat him down and made him see sense. And then made sure he knew what would happen if he ever hurt you.” 

She bites her lower lip, leaning in closer so her nose bumps against his, her eyes drifting down to his lips, “You would have just…watched me be with someone else?” 

The question makes him smile, the irony in the fact that she’d recently watched him be with someone else not lost on him, “I just want you to be happy.” 

She smiles, but he only sees a flash of it before she closes the final gap between them, her lips soft as they press against his. He immediately tightens his hold on her, his hand firm against her lower back as she wraps her arms around his neck, moaning softly as he deepens the kiss. She nips his lower lip as she pulls back, her smile wide as she presses her forehead against his. 

“I’m guessing you’re going to be the perfect gentleman and not let this go any further than making out for now?” 

He leans in, his lips stamped against the corner of hers, “I want to take you on a date first, sweetheart.”  

She flushes at the term of endearment, her heart swelling in her chest, “This whole weekend has been one long date.” 

He chuckles, “I mean it. I want to take you for dinner. We have a lot to talk about.” 

She rolls her eyes but then nods, kissing him quickly, delighted in her newfound ability to do so, “Fine,” she grumbles, “But we can still make out, right?” 

He smiles widely and she cups his cheek, her thumb pressed into his dimple, something she’d wanted to do since the first time she noticed he had them, “Absolutely.” 

She bites the inside of her cheek, desperately trying to stop her smile from getting wider, so used to trying to put a dampener on her emotions even when she doesn’t have to. “Just so you know,” she says lightly scratching his scalp, taking delight in how he shivers, “I love you too.” 

His response is to kiss her, something that is lost to their wide smiles.

___

He takes her on a date the next day. 

The drive home from the wedding isn’t all that different to the drive to Connecticut. They talked and made fun of each other’s music preferences, but this time his hand was heavy on her thigh most of the journey, her fingers loosely linked through his. When he drops her home he carries her bag upstairs for her, leaving her at her door with a kiss and a promise that he’d be back in a few hours. 

He comes back exactly 3 hours later, freshly showered and in a suit, a bunch of sunflowers in his hands, his smile unsure as he explains he chose them because they wouldn’t be toxic to Sergio. She’d kissed him then and there, not sure how else to respond to his thoughtfulness, her hand on his chin as she held him in place.

There’s a moment, thankfully brief, when she worries dinner will be awkward, that they’ve built it up too much. But it’s just like every other meal they’ve ever shared. Easy and relaxed as they talk about everything, all the moments they’d somehow missed along the way, their hands linked on the table as they shake their heads at every missed opportunity. She doesn’t miss how he swallows thickly when she talks French to the waiter, how his grip on her hand gets tighter. They argue about who gets to pay for dinner, and she eventually relents, letting him win this one because she knows there will be so many more dates to come. 

He’s nervous when they make it back to hers, his hand tight around hers as she pulls him into her apartment. He never wanted her to think he was making assumptions, that he thought he had to spend the night no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to do this at her pace, to make what would be both of their last first times special. 

She dumps her purse on the counter next to the vase of sunflowers and turns in his embrace, her arms hooking around his neck as she kisses him. “Thank you for dinner,” she says, kissing him again, “And my flowers.” 

He pulls her closer, his hand pressed against the dip of her back. He rubs the soft material of her dress between his thumb and forefinger, “Em…”

“Oh no, you aren’t backing out on me now mister,” she says, winking at him as if she’d read his mind, “You said dinner,” she kisses him, “And that we’d talk,” she smiles as she pulls back, “We did both.” 

He shifts his hands to her hips and squeezes them, “I want you to be sure.” 

She feels love bloom in her chest, warming her from the inside out as she brushes his hair out of his face. She’d quietly admitted to him the night before, tangled together in the same position they’d accidentally woken up in that morning, that she hadn’t had sex since her showdown with Ian. He knew what it was to contend with a new body, to learn what it was like to look in the mirror and not recognise the person looking back at you. 

“I’m sure,” she replies, her eyes flicking to his lips, “Besides, it would be a waste of the very uncomfortable yet very sexy lingerie I have on under this dress,” she smiles when his grip on her hips gets tighter, drawing a moan out of her as she imagines feeling the callouses on his fingers against her bare skin. She kisses him once more before she pulls him towards the bedroom, her smile wide as he follows her, his arms wrapped around her from behind as they walk as one. 

She picks Sergio up off the bed and kisses his head before she places him on the floor outside the bedroom, muttering an apology she feels ridiculous for to the cat as she closes the door. 

She blows out a breath before she turns to look at Aaron, nerves she hadn’t expected or felt since her very first time, a quick and awkward fumble that had led to one of the defining moments in her life. 

The nervousness is gone the moment she turns around, the absolute reverence in his eyes enough to make her feel confident, a magnetic pull that drags her towards him. As soon as she’s close enough, she kisses him. It’s a step change to all the kisses they’d shared so far, no restraint in the way he grasps at her, the material of her dress already starting to bunch around her waist. 

They walk backwards towards the bed, her back hitting the mattress with a gentle thunk as she pulls him on top of her, moaning into his mouth at the weight of him on top of her. His hand snakes its way under her, his fingers easily finding the zipper of her dress. He drags it down as she arches her back, a shiver chasing his touch as she presses her chest against his. He feels how she tenses as he pulls the straps of her dress down her arms, her shoulders tight beneath him the moment his fingers come close to skimming the brand mark on her chest. He immediately stops, pulling back enough to look at her, their eyes meeting as he sucks in a breath, shaking his head to remove the haze of arousal. 

“Em,” he says, his hands moving to a more respectable spot on her waist, as they both sit up “We don’t-”

“I want to,” she says, hooking her hand around the back of his head, pulling him in so their foreheads touch, “It’s just…I....” 

She trails off, unsure how to put it into words, but he understands because he’s him. Because he’s been there, and the way smiles at her eases some of the tension that had built in her lungs. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, kissing her cheek, “So beautiful. Nothing could ever change that.” 

She kisses him fiercely, pressing everything into it that words would never be enough to convey. As she’s kissing him she slips her arms out of the straps of her dress herself. The material slips down to her waist, exposing her scars all at once. When he looks at her, nothing but awe in his eyes she feels empowered. 

He’s sure he’s never seen anyone, or anything, more beautiful. He kisses her brand mark, taking time to linger over it, before he moves downwards, his mouth and hands paying close attention to the deep green lace of her bra, before he unhooks it, leaving her naked from the waist up. She throws her head back, his name a broken whimper as she hugs his head to her chest with one arm, the other behind her as she gently lowers them back down to the bed. He kisses his way down her body, taking the time to learn which spots make her sigh and which make her gasp his name like a prayer.

It feels strange when he kisses the scar beneath her ribcage. The skin is still mostly numb, a tingling sensation she almost always felt, something that tickled the back of her mind in the most infuriating way. It goes away the moment he presses his lips against it, leaving behind only the muted kiss she can only partially feel. If she wasn’t so delirious with pent-up arousal, if she wasn’t seconds away from telling him to hurry up she’s sure she’d see the beauty in it. The poetry come to life that was him healing the wounds that others had left before him. 

“God, I love you,” he mutters against her skin, kissing her belly just above where her dress had gathered before he sits up, his fingers hooked into the material as he drags it down her legs and throws it over his shoulder, her underwear going with it, a scrap of green lace that matches her bra which he only sees a flash of. “Look at you.” 

She flushes, her skin pink from his attention and praise and she pulls him in by the lapels of his shirt, her lips against his as she speaks, “You’re wearing far too many clothes.” 

He all but growls, a sound she thinks must have been living in his chest for years, and he kisses her before he stands at the edge of the bed. She watches closely as he slips the buttons through holes in his shirt. She gets on her knees, shifting so she’s in front of him, the pair of them eye level as she takes over for him, her eyes fixed on his chest as the scars she’d only read about in his medical report are slowly revealed. When his shirt flutters to the ground she runs her hands over his chest, running her fingers curiously over his scars. They were more healed than hers were, the time that had passed between both of their showdowns with their monsters enough to mean his were silver, none of the pink that still remained in the thickest parts of hers anywhere to be seen. 

“I know they’re not-

“No,” she says, cutting off what she’s sure will be a self-deprecating comment, something there was no room for between them, and she looks up at him, her arms around his neck as she pulls him closer so they are chest to chest, a shiver running through her as his chest hair scrapes across her breast, “They’re beautiful,” she says, stamping a kiss against his lips, “They’re made of you.” 

He wraps his arms around her and deepens the kiss, his hands warm against her bare back, his fingers meeting at her spine as they move to her waist. He lowers her back to the bed and takes his pants and underwear off so quickly she isn’t sure how he’s done it, a gasp passing from her mouth to his as she feels him notch against her clit as he lays between her legs. He reaches between them, drawing patterns over her before he slips a finger, then two into her, chasing the noise she makes, mapping out all the spots that draw the gasps he wants to hear forever out of her. He pulls her orgasm out of her slowly, making her limbs feel lighter than air and as heavy as lead all at once. She drags him in for a kiss, her legs falling open, one hooking around his back as she pulls him impossibly closer. 

“Aaron,” she whispers, “Please.”

As he positions himself between her thighs, the blunt edge of him pressing into her, she’s grateful that they discussed the practicalities when he dropped her home from the wedding earlier. His smile shy and adorable as he asked if he needed to bring supplies. She’d told him no as she leant over the centre console of the car to kiss him, said that she was on the pill and that she trusted him. He said he trusted her too, his cheeks warm from his misplaced embarrassment when she kissed his cheek. 

Her eyes roll back as he pushes forward, the stretch of him like coming home. They lay there for a moment, cheek to cheek as they get used to the feeling. He waits her out, his gut tight as he forces himself to stay still until she moves her hips against his, her breath gasping across his skin as she wordlessly encourages him to move. He links their hands next to her head, his lips against her cheek as he mutters his love against her, a stream of words he unconsciously lets out, words he’d kept to himself for too many years. 

She feels herself getting close again, the rhythm they’ve set somehow perfect as if they’d been doing this as long as she thinks they should have. She gasps out something that is half his name, half I love you and she comes, dragging him over the edge with her. He presses a messy kiss against her lips, muffling the way he grunts out her name, not wanting his first encounter with her neighbours to be an awkward one. 

Their breathing returns to normal as they exchange slow kisses, and she pats his back, a silent request for him to move that she doesn’t have to repeat. She walks to the ensuite bathroom and makes quick work of cleaning herself up, not wanting to be away from him for longer than necessary. When she walks out, he’s standing just outside the door, a smile on his face as his hands ghost over her waist as they switch places. 

When he walks out of the bathroom she’s in bed, curled under the covers, purposely having left the side she now knows he sleeps on bare. He smiles as he sneaks under the covers with her, his arms encircling her the moment he’s close enough to pull her into his side. 

She curls up against him, chuckling breathlessly as she kisses him, her hand seeking his out, “I can’t believe we waited so long to do that.” 

He smiles and kisses her nose and then her cheek, his heart still hammering in his chest, “It’s been less than a day since we figured it all out.” 

She smiles, a hint of sadness to it that he wishes he could erase, “Not what I meant.” 

He tucks some of her hair behind her ear, “We wasted a lot of time,” he replies, smiling when she turns her head to kiss his palm, “But we made it here.” 

She hums, “Eventually,” she tangles her leg with his, wrapping herself around him as much as possible, her head tucked under his chin, “We’re both idiots.” 

He laughs. Loud and bright and beautiful, and she thinks it could easily become her favourite sound in the world. “Maybe,” he says, kissing the top of her head, his hand curling around the back of her neck to hold her against him, as if she had anywhere else she’d rather be, “But at least we’re each other’s idiots.” 

She kisses his chest, her lips catching one of his thicker scars, and she lets herself revel in the fact she could do this now. That he was hers and she was his, and she couldn’t believe it was only days ago she lay in this very bed cursing herself for telling her mother she was bringing him as a date to her cousin's wedding.

“I’m so glad you came to Tiffany’s wedding with me,” she says quietly, and she can feel his smile against the top of her head.

“Me too,” he replies, stroking a soothing pattern at the base of her skull with his thumb, “Although, we’re going to have a hell of a time explaining this to the team.” 

She groans, “Do we have to tell them?” 

He laughs again, his touch slowly dragging her into sleep, his arms firmly around her but his embrace gentle, “We’ll figure it out, sweetheart.” 

A few weeks later she’d find it strangely fitting that the team find out about them at JJ and Will’s wedding, her face hidden in Aaron’s jacket when their friends all jeer lovingly when she kisses him as they dance.

___

The next wedding they dance at together is their own. 

It’s 18 months after the fateful weekend that brought them together. With anyone else, she knows it would have all felt too fast. The ‘I love you’s’ they’d exchanged even before their first date. The fact they’d moved in with each other, into the house in Dupont Circle that no longer scared her like it once had now it was theirs, just less than a year after their first date. The proposal and the marriage she would have, not all that long ago, thought she’d never get to have. 

With anyone else, she probably would have run in the other direction. But it was him, and she never wanted to run anywhere that wasn’t towards him. 

She sighs contentedly, her cheek against his as they sway in Dave’s backyard. She doesn’t care that everyone is watching them, that she can hear Penelope’s muffled, joyful, sobs from where she’s trying to hide them in Derek’s shoulder. 

“You ok, sweetheart?” 

She nods as she pulls back just enough to look at him, her smile wide as their eyes meet, “I’m more than okay,” she says, squeezing his hand, “Today was…”

“Perfect,” he finishes for her, kissing her cheek as the song comes to an end along with their solace, the makeshift dancefloor flooding with their guests. He kisses her temple as he spots Tiffany and Andrew walking towards them, and he mutters a warning against her hair, “Incoming.” 

“Emily! Aaron.” Tiffany exclaims, pulling her into a hug, a kiss pressed against each of her cheeks before she does the same with Aaron, pulling a surprised look out of him that has Emily hiding a smile against his shoulder when she leans back into him, “What a beautiful day. And what a lovely venue,” she says looking around Dave’s home, “It’s so…quaint.” 

Emily has to stop herself from rolling her eyes since only someone from her family could consider Dave’s home anything other than grand, “Thank you,” she replies diplomatically, “We’ve had a lovely day.” 

“I just knew you’d be the next to get married when you came to our wedding,” Tiffany exclaims, looking at her husband, “Didn’t I sweetie?” She asks, turning back to Emily and Aaron before Andrew can even reply, “I said to everyone the moment I saw you together that you were going to be next.” 

They’d never told her family that their relationship hadn’t been real when they’d arrived that weekend but it was by the time they left. Emily was sure her mother had her suspicions, but she’d never said anything, content to go along with the lie that had turned into the truth because of how happy it had made her daughter. 

She feels Aaron squeeze her closer, his arm around her shoulders as he smiles at the couple opposite them, “When you know, you know,” he says, winking down at Emily, a silent conversation passing between them in which she’s begging him to get her out of this conversation, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get a drink with my wife.” 

Emily follows him willingly, the moniker of wife making her skin tingle as he pulls her away from the crowd into a secluded spot on the edge of the party, “You know,” she says as they come to a stop, his arms around her as he drags her closer, “Now you’re my husband you’ve committed to getting me out of conversations with my extended family for the rest of our lives.” 

He smiles and nods, kissing the tip of her nose, “It’s a price I’ll pay willingly,” he says, his lips gentle against hers, a whisper-soft touch that she barely feels, “I love you.” 

She rests her cheek against his shoulder, letting herself sink into his embrace as she watches their friends and family together, her gaze shifting from Penelope encouraging Dave to have a shot to Jack dancing with Elizabeth, and she sighs gratefully, content and happy that she’d somehow, against all odds, ended up here. 

“I love you too.” 

-x-

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[degreedummy]

Bridgerton Astrology- Part 2: LADY AGATHA DANBURY

Capricorn Ascendant-

To start off, I believe a Saturnian rulership is a beautiful placement for Lady Agatha. I feel like the balance this placement finds in her chart will be better explained by other placements, but for her Ascendant: I believe a Capricorn Ascendant most accurately reflects the way that her journey through complete loneliness stays misunderstood, by her own control. An immediate example of this rulership, as morbid as it may be, is her detailing the way she was raised to be a wife-- not just anyone's wife, but Lord Danbury's wife. Her identity wasn't just neglected, it was entirely rejected for the benefit of other people. There was no punishment, the purpose given to her in life was treated as a matter of fact. The reason I see beauty in her Ascendant is because of how [Saturn] death itself is what gives her freedom. Death allows her to find herself, to experience love for the first time, to realize that she can enjoy and want to have sex with someone. More than that, I think Saturn is visible through the way her world crashes around her, and how she's suddenly told that everything she was taught means nothing. In her back-and-forth with the Dowanger Princess, the Princess refuses to let her cry, not even because she is trying to neglect Lady Agatha's feelings, but because her need for strength is, again, treated as a fact of life. Continuously, her need to fight is not a choice, but you would never see that struggle in her eyes. In fact, the only emotion she couldn't hide was love, and it's what brought her closer to Lady Violet, the second person she's ever called a friend.

(8H) Leo Sun-

When it comes to her Leo Sun, I think this is most easily expressed through the way she simply refuses to let anyone ruin her happiness, like her brother for example. She has a bright personality, she's a loving person, but that intense energy so quickly snaps back to ravenously bite anyone who threatens her mood. To me, [Sun conjunction Mars] this shows the root of why she simply will never change, and why not changing works for her. This shows why she never wants to be married again, and why not getting married works for her. Normally, an unmarried older woman would be cast aside to the shadows, dismissed by the ton, but her story is one that even the youngest children love to hear pieces of. She is a mystery that people want to unravel, the interest people have in her life isn't something she's ever had to perform for. I think the 8H placement of this Sun would reflect back onto her life in the most literal sense, with how death gave her the freedom she needed to explore herself, but I think this 8H placement also speaks to the Queen, Lady Violet, the Den of Iniquity, Lady Whistledown, the way she keeps other women's secrets no matter what. I think, maybe the most arguable point I can make about every placement I've listed, this is the hardiest of them all. It shows her heart, the strength she finds in understanding the struggle women face in this world alone, even when married.

(5H) Taurus Moon-

Easily explained by her experience with her first marriage, with how she had no concern for love knowing that her material needs were cared for, I think this Moon can actually go much deeper than the money. She is no user, she's never taken more than she needs, but life demands that she carve a place for herself with her own hands. She learns she must demand respect, that she can't wait for people to eventually realize her worth, Lady Danbury accepts never marrying again because her individuality is a demand she makes. Being a 5H Moon, she is more than prepared to face the world alone, but that is directly contrasted by her genuine desire for community, to be involved with the happiness and love around her. Nothing she's gone through has alienated her from her desire to be a part of something more, to make something of herself, and even the most challenging people were understanding of her fight. Comfort, security are both heavy topics in her life, her entire life weighing on every decision she makes. While the same can be said for other people in the ton, I think it's easily neglected that that she has no one to turn to, a fact she's grown so comfortable with that the Queen has to tell her it would be disrespectful to not ask for help. I think her Moon is also visible in the way she forms a relationship with the Queen, the way her sense of innocent humanity makes the Queen feel safe enough to run away to live in her home. In that same breath, [Moon trine Ascendant] she quickly has to steady herself, just to give the Queen enough confidence to go back. Through her own experiences, I think she understands that growing complacent in any way is dangerous, and it's like she waits until people are at their most vulnerable to give them a push forward. While I think this gives her an Earthy chart, I don't think she's someone people expect to live perfectly, I actually think this influence is why people give her so much grace. There is never a question of how hard she works, of what she deserves, people leave her untouched to take on a war she can only win for herself.

(7H) Cancer Mercury-

I think this could be the most debatable placement listed, but that's only if you're looking to the relationship and marriage side of the 7H. I think her Cancer Mercury is expressed in two contrasting ways, the first being the most emotional: Becoming friends with the daughter of the person she loved, learning how to release the guilt she felt and understanding that love is the most important feeling of all. She came to an understanding with Lady Violet about this, as half-spoken as it was, because they understood there was no ill intention behind either of their hearts. For as intense and driven as she can be, she stands in defense of love, completely still. I think this Mercury placement is why she never necessarily gets in arguments with people, she tries her hardest to handle all disagreements with grace. To bring it back to her brother, [Mercury sextile Moon] the only time she really gets angry is when someone is posing a threat to the safety and happiness of the people around her. Speaking to the frayed edges of a Cancer Mercury, we even see the way she misunderstands her brother's intentions, all because of something that happened years ago. That doesn't [Cancer] invalidate her feelings, but [7H] remembering things her own way and never hearing the other side left her with bitter memories, memories that did almost take happiness away from her. If she had never heard her brother out, she would have missed out on the opportunity to have a completely new relationship with him. Cancer 7H, she has to find balance with her emotions and the beliefs of other people. When it comes to the second side of her Cancer Mercury, I think we actually have to look at the shell of the crab, in how she understands that marriage is a contractual agreement. Even in having no interest in marriage herself, she plays a necessary part in bringing other people together, watching from the back of the room and finding the best matches for each season. While it's the Queen's word that sets things into motion, it's Lady Agatha's opinion that guides her hand. I think her 7H Cancer Mercury is about everything but the most obvious themes, it's about how she helps love itself find a voice. She doesn't need someone by her side to feel love, she watches it every time she brings people together, standing back as the world finds its own way. Cancer Mercury can be soft spoken, and she never demands anyone pursue a marriage they don't want, but it's made obvious many times that she knows what people want before they're ready to admit it.

(10H) Libra Venus-

When it comes to her Venus, I think this placement is more affirmation of many things I mentioned before, [Venus square Ascendant] with how she doesn't marriage to understand commitment and love. The 10H is known to represent peoples' career, and her place in society is literally to be a matchmaker, someone who uses silk-gloved hands to bring two people together. I think this placement affirms what I said before about how she stands by love, still and unwavering, but I think this also adds onto how... for all the positivity and enjoyment there is in her career, her reputation rests on her ability to make successful marriages happen. We see this in the show, when issues start being made public it instantly blew back to Lady Agatha, because the opinion she handed down to the Queen made the Queen look bad. I always find it interesting when a sign known for companionship is placed over the 10H, because I don't think they have to be the face of their own success. In Queen Charlotte, we see the Queen tell Lady Agatha that it would be disrespectful for her to behave like the Queen is not capable of helping her, but more than that, she was told that she shouldn't be afraid to rely on the power she has, even the power she has through other people. I think there's a deeper aspect of her personality that fears being manipulative or abusive in any way, and [Libra 10H] she makes it a point to never use force unless she's approached with it. I think this Venus simply speaks to an already confident person being surrounded by people who want her to be more confident. She doesn't often find herself around people with twisted intentions, she is loved by people who genuinely love her, which is why most conversations can go completely unspoken.

(8H) Leo Mars-

Jumping back to the sign that is Leo, I think her Mars calls back to the beauty I was saying I see in her chart. Having a Leo Mars, I believe this is why her intentions are clear and her decisions are precise. This isn't to say she doesn't keep secrets, but it's no secret that she is. I think a peak moment for her Mars is when she indirectly confirms to the Queen that she does know who Whistledown is. This wasn't a betrayal, this wasn't a lie, it was an understanding that she was keeping a secret so that they both can continue their game. I believe this even calls back to what I said before about her keeping secrets for other women, because as much as the Queen valued her game, Lady Agatha knew that Penelope valued her freedom, something she can very closely relate to. Her Mars isn't violent, it's forward, so much that everyone knows what she stands for. It's only as [Mars] the storm passes that she expresses her true feelings, like explaining to Penelope how she knew the entire time. If she were really destructive, there's so many cards she could play, but she simply doesn't. I think another peak moment of expression is actually when she broke down laughing, telling Lady Violet that she had no idea what to do anymore. I think [Mars inconjunction Ascendant] this speaks to the way she... is left alone to deal with the chaos that surrounds her, people claiming to have so much confidence in her that they never reach out a helping hand. I think her Mars really speaks to the simplicity of her chart, the way everything works together to make Lady Agatha... Lady Agatha, the one and only. I think it does become difficult to explain her personality, because she doesn't need a reason for anything, and she feels no reason to explain her decisions if she doesn't want to. Lady Agatha simply, is.

[awoogayanderes]

A KISS TO REMEMBER

➪ request : “Hi!! Can I request HCs of sharing a first kiss with Muichiro and Mitsuri from kny? I am obsessed with the latest season! Have you seen it already?”

➪ other notes : yes i’ve seen it ! it was genuinely amazing, i’m so happy they did it justice because it was as beautiful from the manga, i can’t wait for next season, i also haven’t written for kny in such a long time omg, non edited

Muichiro Tokito :

- you’d definitely have to play a big role in his life, struggling with his memory issues

- that is until he regains his memory after his encounter with gyokko ( and the tanjiro effect, yes it’s real. )

- so when you visit him in the hospital, you didn’t have much hope of him actually remembering you, getting used to his coldness

- “y/n ?” muichiro calls out for you, his eyes bright, full of life, something you hadn’t seen anytime before

- after he gets discharged, he’s more lively around you, remembering everytime you put up with him even when he was stubborn

- your first kiss happens when you’re both sitting on a log in a field of flowers

- it comes out of nowhere, not calculated on either party, you just lean in and it happens like most first kisses as a teenager

- it’s soft, despite his lips being slightly chapped, but the kiss is also light, you can almost not feel it at all

- when you pull away, you just blankly stare at each other as his face is coated in red

- “is this what people call dating,” muichiro asks, still slightly confused on the term shinobu had explained to him earlier

- that’s the only reason why he got the guts to do it, knowing that it could ruin your friendship

- 8/10 overall experience, despite so much frustration, in the end it was worth the wait

Mitsuri Kanroji :

- she’s literally my favorite character and hashira in demon slayer, she’s my wife fr

- i think she starts to develop genuine feelings when you show her kindness and patience, not judging her for the amount she eats or her body

- this starts out in a restaurant as you lovingly watch mitsuri eat joyously, a light pink already coating her cheeks

- “do you want anymore y/n ?” mitsuri asks, holding out her chopsticks in case she needed to feed you some of her food

- once she’s done, you both chat of whatever comes to mind, a tradition you both have established to spend more time together

- you both don’t realize when you’re getting closer, just wanting more of each other without actually saying it out loud

- there’s a pause of silence until mitsuri closes her eyes and envelops you into a kiss

- her kiss is passionate but also soft, lips gracefully but carefully glazing over yours, it’s not messy, rather delicate

- as you both pull away, you notice her face has become crimson red rather than its usual pink

- “i apologize if i startled you but you’re just so kind and lovely with me,” mitsuri sputters out nervously making you smile with love

- she’s literally been debating doing this for months on end, it wasn’t just a spur of a moment, she’s wanted this for so long

- 10/10 overall experience, she’s literally full of love, any rating lower would be criminal

[genericpuff]

LR is really, really good but I just wanted to say something- this is probably more about the readers than LR itself, but when it's said that LR is so much better than LO artistically (which it is!!), like say in terms of writing, pacing, and art - I think it's also not an apples to apples comparison, since LR has LO to draw inspiration from and a lot of external reactions to LO to learn from for what to do and not to, while LO is both time-constrained and (when it started out), didn't have much basis to compare to.

(The SA plotline is one example.. many criticize RS and say she shouldn't have written it in the first place but that's the thing - she actually didn't know. While I agree it's really shitty and RS has definitely ignored a lot of criticism she should take into consideration, the conclusion that she shouldn't have written it in the first place wasn't something that she knew about until after fans pointed it out. She definitely is mishandling it now, but I think writing that in at the start was born out of actual ignorance - different from her problems now, since she's now actively ignoring and shutting down the feedback she does need to get better. This blowing up educated a lot of people- probably not you specifically- and opened up a lot of dialogue for things that Rachel likely didn't have access to at the start of LO. and has no excuse for now.)

Anyway, yeah - Love Lore Rekindled, thank you for creating it! Genuinely, I do - this ask isn't meant to be a bad thing against you at all, nor do you need to reply to it.

Not a bad thing in the slightest, I honestly agree with you! The reality is that LR wouldn't exist without LO, so to try and compare them feels kind of like... it defeats the point?

Like obviously Rekindled was made with similar intentions, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like Rekindled wasn't made out of spite over what could have been, but at the heart of it all, it doesn't exist to 'flex' on LO, really it's just to help recapture that joy and beauty that the original comic had that I fell in love with in the first place. It's only because I loved the original concept and foundation of LO so much that it exists. That's also why I call it an "AU" of sorts, as a sort of "alternate reality where LO didn't turn out the way it did" experiment lmao Mostly by maintaining the consistency in the original art style and paying off those earlier plot threads that didn't payoff the way we were anticipating or were dropped entirely. Sure, it's trying (and in some ways succeeding) to be "better" than LO, but that definition of "better" and how it's applied was what we were hoping to get out of LO in the first place.

So yeah, when people say "the art/writing is so much better than LO's!" part of me tries to take it as the compliment it's undoubtedly intended to be, but also I'm like "ack, that's not the point!! the art still doesn't look exactly like LO, I'm failing!!" LMAO I suppose that's part of the magic, but it doesn't fully align with my original goals or intentions. That's the struggle of art stylization, you can try and mimic another person's work as much as you want, but you can never mimic the them that's in their work, just like how you can't remove the you that's in yours. I want to be at peace with my own work and what I put into it, so I try not to compare them too much and just treat them as their own unique separate things (even if one of them is directly trying to resemble the other). It's okay that Rekindled doesn't look or read exactly the same as LO, but in saying that it's 'better' defeats the point of why Rekindled exists in the first place and diminishes LO's part in the process. LO has to exist - all of its best and worst parts - for Rekindled to exist, so putting LO down just to raise LR up... isn't that kind of what we criticize all the time within the comic, how it can't seem to hold up its best parts without putting down others? Why can't they both have their own things worth appreciating on their own exclusive of one another?

This is also why I generally ask people to not share Rekindled with the general Lore Olympus hashtags or post about it in the fan groups (and why I don't mirror it on Webtoons) because I just like... don't want it to come across as some "booo you like LO??? go read this instead!" type deal. I want people to be able to enjoy Rekindled as its own standalone story as an extension of LO, in the form of what could have been. There's a very thin line in the sand between Rekindled being just what it is and it being used against the fans as if it's a crime for them to still genuinely enjoy LO. I can't enjoy LO in good faith anymore, but that doesn't mean I make Rekindled for the sake of ruining that good faith in others. I was a fan too, once upon a time, so Rekindled is just as much for the fans as it is for the people like me who started off loving this comic just to be disappointed in the end and yearning for the "what if" that could have been.

And yeah, it's absolutely an advantage that I have in my court that I have the knowledge of knowing what LO started as and where it went wrong to work off of, an advantage that Rachel didn't have. It's like when I look back on my original pages in Time Gate: Reaper and think "man, I wish I had known xyz when I made these so they could be better!" but if I hadn't made them like that the first time, I wouldn't be able to reflect on them now knowing I've improved. In that same regard, Lore Olympus had to run so that Lore Rekindled could crawl. And I'm forever thankful to LO - and Rachel - for giving us something we could all connect over to such an extensive degree that Rekindled could exist at all.

[sasori-rp]

Do's and Don't's with Hate-Comments

In the wake of recent events, I was inspired to create this blog as a guideline for all those who struggle with this. I'm sure many of you (if not everyone) has received some form of hate in the past.

They come in the shape of anonymous asks, vicious comments, reblog rants and DMs and go far beyond this platform. It's important to share knowledge on how to deal with the situation in a healthy and mature manner, that allows you to preserve your mental health and sanity.

So without further ado, let's get into this, shall we?

Quick Info

Before we start with the Do's and Dont's I want to give you a quick disclaimer on what we're dealing with here. Keeping this in mind, will hopefully help you stay grounded and prepared.

People who send hate - we'll call them Haters for simplicity - are energy vampires. They're usually deeply unhappy people who lack self confidence and carry a lot of frustration in their hearts. This can be because they dislike how the world is evolving, because they get mistreated at home or simply because their hormones are overwhelming and they haven't learnt how to subtract their emotions when criticising something they disagree with.

When they send you hate, it releases adrenaline in their body, a so called kick that they use to vent their frustration. Anyone who has been angry in their life before knows, how satisfying it feels in the moment, to tell the other person how much of a dick we think they are. You probably also know the excitement of getting a reply (even a positive one) when reaching out to a celebrity, a blog or your crush for example. This feeling of excitement is what they look for.

The more vicious the comment, the better they feel when not only getting a reaction from you, but also safely getting away with it. Because truth be told, no hater has the courage to insult you in person. They're anonymous, so they don't have to face the consequences of their own actions. They're getting entertainment in the safety of their own homes, while you suffer.

So, what can we do about it?

Do

If the harrassment continues, block the user.

The first thing you should do when receiving a nasty comment, is delete and ignore. That is your default reaction. Your time and wellbeing is sacred. Do not waste your energy by interacting with them. Giving them attention will only increase their actions. Do not respond to them. Only exception: you can think of a genuinely hilarious, humorous answer to it. You're then using their hate and turn it into fun and play, making it a positive experience for you. (Dissing is not humour in this scenario)

Take a break and take care of yourself. Surround yourself with kind people, do something you enjoy. Don't allow it to consume you. Self Care is very important to staying balanced. Eat healthy, sleep well and don't overwork yourself.

Reach out to friends. Asking for help is human. Allowing your friends to comfort you, will help you feel less alone.

Reach out to a helpline. Sometimes we don't have someone to confide in. There are helplines where you can pour your heart out and get advice from.

If you feel that your mental health is deteriorating, seek help from a therapist. They can give you tools to navigate your feelings and will help you sort your inner battle out. Seeing a therapist is not a weakness; it shows you're willing to make an active change for your health. Props you you, I'm the first one cheering you on!

If the harrassment still continues and threats are made that make you genuinely fear for your safety, reach out to Tumblr Staff and/or the police.

Spread love and kindness. I cannot stress this enough: Do you want to know how to really combat hate? Be happy. Live your best life and create beauty. Give kindness to others and don't let someone's ill intent poison your own. It's that easy. Because nothing in this world disarms hate like genuine care and understanding, confidence in your own worth and awareness of your value.

Don't:

Don't try to justify yourself in response to them. Haters are not here to communicate and find a solution. They will not listen to reason; you can use your time for better things.

Don't insult them back. The argument will quickly spiral out of control. And this is the internet. Someone will use what you said against you. Don't let your anger dictate your actions

Don't post hate posts and rants talking about them. Don't post hate and rants in general. It feels cathartic in the moment, but it will bite you in the ass later. (It also, again, gives them much more attention that they deserve. Do you really want to be their entertainment?)

Don't do any of the above things to protect your friends, either. Friends are here to support you, to give you a shoulder to cry on and cheer you on. Not to tear others down. Regardless of wether they deserve it or not. It's going to backfire, trust me. Stand up for them, yes. Stand up for them by lifting them up, not by tearing down others.

Don't start bashing their account with hate in retaliation

-> Lastly, it's okay to make mistakes.

Don't tear yourself down over you being a human being and extend the same grace to others too. Apologising doesn't make you weaker, it shows that you're mature and willing to learn. And forgiveness is never about you forgetting what happened, but making peace with it; freeing your mind and heart from it, so you can move forward.

I hope this blog helps you make a difference for your life and that of others. Remember, you're a valid, worthy human being deserving of love and kindness. And so is everyone around you.

As always, my DMs are open for questions and discussions. Please try to not spam the comments too much, it gets confusing to detangle. I wish you all a lovely day/night💜

Thank you all for listening!

@izumi-uchiha-anon

@kisame-hoshigaki-rp

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

The Weight of Words | Sebastian Sallow x OC #15

This chapter touches on the real-life experiences many mid and plus-sized women face—the judgment, the pressure to conform, and the way those things shape self-worth. So this is dedicated to anyone who’s ever felt like they weren’t enough—you are, and you always have been. 💕

Summary: Evangeline’s courtship with Lysander ends after he admits his family’s shallow judgments about her heritage and appearance. Hurt and spiraling into self-doubt, she retreats to the Undercroft, where Sebastian finds her and offers quiet comfort.

Words: 7,329

Tags: Self Worth, Body Positivity, Insecurities, Hurt/Comfort Heartbreak, Angst, Pure Blood Expectations, Unspoken Feelings, Friends To Lovers, Romantic Tension, Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love

Read more stories about Sebastian and Evangeline

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The walk back from Hogsmeade was crisp, the winter air biting but invigorating as Evangeline and Lysander strolled side by side along the snow-dusted path. Evangeline adjusted her scarf, a faint smile tugging at her lips as Lysander recounted an amusing anecdote. His laugh was genuine, unguarded, and for the first time in weeks, she felt a flicker of the warmth that had initially drawn her to him.

It had been a good day—simple, easy. For once, there had been no talk of the Clearwaters, of pure-blood tradition, or of her future. She’d almost forgotten about the weight of expectations that always seemed to hover over their courtship. Instead, they’d shared butterbeer, browsed Honeydukes, and even debated which of Zonko’s latest pranks would have Ominis tearing his hair out in frustration. For a brief moment, Evangeline remembered what it was she’d liked about Lysander in the first place—his easy smile, his charm, and the way he could make her laugh when he wasn’t trying so hard to impress.

“Today was nice,” she said softly, breaking the silence.

Lysander glanced at her, his lips curving into a small smile. “It was,” he agreed, his tone warm.

As they approached the castle, the stone towers rising like silent sentinels against the twilight sky, Evangeline breathed deeply, her cheeks tingling from the cold. The light banter between them had dwindled into a comfortable quiet, and she stole a glance at Lysander. His expression was pensive now, his gaze fixed ahead but distant.

She frowned slightly, tilting her head. “You alright?”

Lysander blinked, startled out of his thoughts. He gave her a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yes, of course. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

For a moment, he hesitated, his steps slowing. The silence stretched, the air around them suddenly feeling heavier. Evangeline’s stomach tightened with a flicker of unease as Lysander glanced around, his expression shifting from relaxed to awkward.

When they reached a quieter stretch of the path, he finally stopped, turning to face her. “Evangeline,” he began, his voice carefully measured, “there’s something we need to talk about.”

The pit of unease in her stomach grew heavier, but she forced herself to stay calm. “Alright,” she said cautiously. “What is it?”

“Evie,” he started again, his voice low, “please know that I… I think the world of you. Truly, I do.”

Her brows knit together, confusion flickering across her face. “Lysander, what’s this about?” she asked cautiously, her voice softer now.

He looked away for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground as he let out a quiet sigh. “I’ve been struggling with this for some time,” he admitted, his tone pained. “And I don’t know how to say it without sounding—well, awful.”

Evangeline’s chest tightened, her unease growing. “Whatever it is, we’ll work through it.”

Lysander’s blue eyes met hers, and the anguish in them was palpable. “You’re beautiful,” he said, his words coming out in a rush. “You are, Evie. I’ve always thought so."

Her brow furrowed in confusion, her heart sinking at the way he phrased it. “Why does that sound like a disclaimer?” she asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

He winced, glancing away as his hands tightened into fists at his sides. “Because,” he said quietly, “it kind of is.”

Evangeline stared at him, the unease in her chest blooming into something colder, sharper. “Lysander,” she said slowly, her voice carefully controlled. “What’s going on?”

He took a deep breath, his gaze flickering back to hers. “This isn’t about me, Evie. It’s not how I feel—it’s just... there are expectations.”

“Expectations,” she repeated, her voice flat.

“Yes,” he said, his tone almost pleading. "My family—our world—it comes with rules. And I—I’m under so much pressure to—”

“To what?” she interrupted, her voice rising. “To tell me I’m beautiful and then follow it up with whatever this is supposed to be?”

Lysander flinched, running a hand through his hair again. “Evangeline, please,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I don’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want. But…” He hesitated, his jaw tightening as though the next words physically hurt to say. “But you’ve changed since we started seeing each other.”

Her breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest. “Changed?” she echoed, her tone dangerously soft.

“You’re—” His hands clenched into fists at his sides, and he looked away again, “You’re... bigger than when we first started courting. And it’s not... it’s not me saying this. It’s just my family—”

“Your family,” she interrupted, her voice soft and unsteady. “It always comes back to your family.”

Lysander winced, his shoulders slumping. “It’s not fair. I know it’s not fair. But they’ve always been... critical of anyone outside the 24 families. The only reason they’ve even tolerated our courtship is because of your... circumstances."

Her breath caught, her chest tightening painfully as the words sank in. “What?”

“They all know, Evie,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “Lady Selwyn told my parents about your heritage. About the orphanage. And the only reason they allowed me to continue courting you was because of your magic. But even then, you’re on thin ice. They see it as a... compromise, at best."

Evangeline felt as though the ground beneath her had shifted, leaving her unsteady and cold. Her breath trembled as she asked, “A compromise? That’s what I am to them?”

Lysander ran a hand through his hair again, his frustration evident. “I’ve tried—Merlin, I’ve tried to keep them from interfering. But when they see...” He gestured vaguely, his hand faltering as his words failed him.

“When they see what?” Her voice cracked, her hurt spilling over into the sharp edge of her words.

“They see your... size,” he admitted, the words a choked whisper. “And they think it reflects poorly on me. That it shows... a lack of discipline or control. It’s archaic and wrong, I know, but I—”

Evangeline shook her head, tears welling in her eyes as she struggled to process his words. “Do you even hear yourself?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

Lysander’s expression crumpled, guilt etched into every line of his face. "I'm sorry. I am. I don't think you know just how much I care about you, how hard I've tried to shield you from all of this,” he continued, his voice cracking under the weight of his words. “I’ve fought for you, Evangeline. Every time they brought up their opinions, every time they questioned why I was with you, I defended you. But they don’t stop, and it’s—it’s exhausting.”

Evangeline’s hands trembled at her sides, her breath shallow as she stared at him. “And what about me, Lysander?” she asked, her voice breaking. “You think it isn’t exhausting for me, too? To be judged for things I can’t control? To feel like no matter what I do, I’m never enough?”

He winced, his head dropping as though the weight of her words physically pained him. “I know,” he said quietly. "I know it’s unfair. But this is just... the system I was born into. And I can't change that, just like you can't change your past. And the thing is, they’re not just judging you for this, they’re judging me for being with you.”

Evangeline could hardly force the words out, “So you’re ashamed of me?”

Lysander’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with panic. “No!” he said quickly. “Merlin, no, I’m not ashamed of you. I think you’re incredible. But they don’t see that. They only see… what they want to see.”

Evangeline’s chest felt tight, her heart racing as the weight of his words pressed down on her. Finally, she asked, her voice trembling, “What do you see, Lysander?”

He hesitated, his face softening as his eyes met hers. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though all the weight, all the expectations, had slipped away, leaving just the boy she had first been drawn to. “I see you,” he said quietly, his voice raw. “Someone who’s brave enough to stand up to the world, even when it feels impossible. You’re fierce. You fight for the things you believe in. You make me laugh, even when I feel like I can’t breathe under the weight of it all. You're beautiful, and I don't even think you know just how stunning your are," He huffed a humorless laugh, "And I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. Ever.”

Her breath hitched, the sincerity in his voice cutting through her like a knife. “Then why does any of this matter?” she asked, her tears spilling over. “Why isn’t that enough for you?”

“Because it’s not just about me!” he said, his voice rising, not in anger but desperation. “I don’t live in a vacuum, Evangeline. I live in their world. A world that doesn’t care about feelings or love—it cares about appearances, about legacy, about... perfection. And if I don’t fall in line, I lose everything. My family, my future, everything I’ve been raised to value.”

Evangeline’s lips parted, but no words came. She stood frozen, staring at him as the truth of his words washed over her. “So... what is this, then?” she asked softly, her voice trembling. “An ultimatum?"

Lysander flinched as though she had slapped him, his face pale. “No,” he said quickly, his voice cracking. “It’s not fair to say it like that.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked, her voice quiet. "You're asking me to conform to their standards or we... we're over."

Lysander’s expression crumpled, his mouth opening as though he wanted to protest, but no words came. His gaze dropped to the snow-dusted ground, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

Evangeline stared at him, her heart shattering, "I think we both know how this ends, Lysander." Her voice came out between shaky breaths, "I can’t—I won’t—spend the rest of my life trying to be someone I’m not just to keep you."

Lysander's head snapped up, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, "Evangeline, please—I don’t want you to change, but… if I don’t meet their standards, I lose everything. And if I lose it all, how can I give you the life you deserve?”

Her laugh was bitter, a raw sound that felt foreign even to her. “The life I deserve? Lysander, I don’t care about estates or family names or any of the legacy nonsense your world clings to. What I deserve is someone who won’t make me feel like I’m too much or not enough every time your parents or your bloody traditions weigh in. Someone who loves me for who I am—without conditions, without apologies."

“I do love you!” he shouted, his words reverberating through the crisp winter air. He took a step toward her, his hands outstretched towards her. “I love you. But you don’t understand what it’s like to live under their control, to feel the pressure of an entire lineage resting on your shoulders!”

“And you don’t understand what it’s like to always be on the outside, looking in,” she countered, her voice shaking with the effort to hold herself together. “To know that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never belong. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I had to prove myself—at the orphanage, at Hogwarts, and now with you and your perfect, polished family. I can't do it anymore. I can’t keep fighting a battle I was never meant to win.”

“Wait, please,” Lysander pleaded, his voice raw with desperation. “I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You already have,” she said, her voice soft but firm. “The moment you let them decide what’s acceptable, what’s worthy—you lost me.”

Lysander looked as though he’d been struck, his breath hitching as he took a half-step back. His hands dropped to his sides, and for a moment, the only sound between them was the faint whistle of the winter wind.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice so quiet she barely heard it.

“So am I,” she replied, her voice trembling. She turned away, her steps slow and heavy as she began walking back toward the castle.

“Evangeline, please—” he called after her, his voice breaking. But she didn’t turn back.

The wind stung her cheeks as she walked, the snow crunching beneath her boots, but she barely felt it. Her mind was a storm of hurt and anger and guilt, swirling too fast for her to catch her breath. By the time she reached the castle, her chest ached with the effort of holding herself together.

She didn’t go to the common room or the library. Instead, her feet carried her to the Undercroft, the one place she could think of where she could let herself fall apart without anyone seeing.

Once inside, she sank to the stone floor, her back pressed against the wall as if it could somehow steady the storm inside her. The Undercroft’s familiar chill seeped into her skin, but it was nothing compared to the cold tightening around her chest. She buried her face in her hands, her breaths ragged and uneven as sobs wracked her frame, each one cutting deeper than the last.

The silence of the hidden space enveloped her, but it offered no comfort—only a heavy, suffocating stillness that left her alone with her thoughts. And it wasn’t just Lysander. It was everything. Her heritage, her appearance, and the gnawing sense of inadequacy she couldn’t seem to escape.

Her thoughts raced, tangling and overlapping until they became a dizzying blur. Lysander’s words echoed in her mind, each one a sharp blade slicing at the tender places she’d tried so hard to protect. You’re bigger than when we started courting. It reflects poorly on me. It’s not fair, but it’s the truth.

She hadn’t wanted to believe he could hurt her like that. Even with all his faults, she’d still liked him well enough—enough to court him, enough to let herself dream, even if briefly, of what life with someone like Lysander might look like. He could be charming and funny, his sharp wit matching hers when he wasn’t so carefully guarded. She’d even enjoyed their day together in Hogsmeade, a rare glimpse of what they could have been if not for the suffocating expectations hanging over him.

But all of that was gone now, overshadowed by his words, by the truth he’d laid bare. He’d poked at her deepest insecurities, the ones she tried to hide even from herself. Her size—something she’d struggled with her whole life, trying to accept, trying to love, but always feeling like it was something that set her apart, something that made her too much. And then her heritage—the unknown void of her past, the lack of a family legacy that made her feel like she didn’t belong in a world that prized bloodlines and tradition above all else.

And worst of all, the nagging thought she couldn’t shake: What if this is why Sebastian doesn’t love me back? The thought was like ice in her veins, paralyzing and relentless. What if he looks at me and sees the same flaws Lysander's family does? What if he thinks I’m too much, too big, too...everything.

She curled into herself, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees as if she could shrink away from the pain clawing at her chest. Tears fell faster now, hot and unrelenting, blurring her vision as her breath hitched in uneven gasps. Losing the courtship hurt, but Evangeline could almost justify it—she’d hidden too much from Lysander, hidden her time with Sebastian, hidden the feelings she couldn’t seem to let go of. Yet it wasn’t the end of the courtship that cut the deepest. It was the wounds Lysander had opened—the sharp, unshakable fear that maybe he’d been right. That she wasn’t good enough. Maybe she never would be.

Then, in the distance, she heard it—soft, deliberate footsteps echoing outside the entrance.

Her heart stuttered in her chest, her breath catching. She knew those footsteps. Knew the unhurried rhythm, the faint scuff of worn soles on stone. And then, faintly, she a low hum, tuneless and light, the kind of absentminded hum Sebastian always made when he was in a particularly good mood.

Her stomach twisted. She wasn’t ready for this. Not now. Not with her thoughts still tangled in the pain of what Lysander had said, not with her insecurities laid bare, raw and bleeding. Not with that voice in the back of her mind telling her Sebastian would agree with everything Lysander had said.

The footsteps grew louder, closer, and her pulse quickened. She tried to wipe at her face, to pull herself together before he saw her like this, but the effort felt futile. The door creaked open, the sound like a hammer strike in the quiet, and she stiffened, curling into herself in a desperate attempt to shield the broken pieces of herself.

Sebastian stepped into the room, his wand casting a soft glow over the dim space. “Evie? You in here?” His tone was light, cheerful, as though he’d just come from an especially good conversation or a prank well-executed. He took a few steps further in, his gaze scanning the room—and then it landed on her.

The moment he saw her, his humming stopped. The easy smile that had been playing on his lips vanished, replaced by a look of startled concern. “Evie?” he said again, but this time his voice was softer, more tentative.

She kept her face buried, unwilling to meet his gaze, but she could hear the quickening of his steps as he closed the distance between them. He crouched down in front of her, his presence warm and grounding despite the cold, “Evangeline?”

There it was. Her full name. She hated the way her heart reacted to it, the way it skipped a beat as though grasping at the tenderness in his voice. She hated that even now, with her chest caving under the weight of her insecurities, the sound of her name spoken by him still made her feel something other than despair.

She clenched her hands into fists, nails biting into her palms as if to anchor herself. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, to let him see her like this—raw and broken in a way that felt irreparable.

Sebastian hesitated, and then his hand hovered near her shoulder, not quite touching. “What happened?” he asked, his voice low, his usual teasing lilt replaced with something heavier, something serious.

She didn’t respond. She couldn’t. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, wishing the ground would swallow her whole, that she could escape his gaze and the pity she was sure she’d find there.

“Evie,” he tried again, his tone gentler now, coaxing. “You’re scaring me. Please. Just—just tell me what’s wrong.”

When she still didn’t answer, he shifted, lowering himself to sit cross-legged in front of her. He didn’t touch her, didn’t crowd her, but his presence was impossible to ignore. “You’re crying,” he said softly. "Why are you crying?"

Her breath hitched at his words, a raw, choked sound escaping her throat. She pressed her hands harder against her face, as if the pressure could keep her tears—and everything else—contained. “Please don’t,” she whispered, her words muffled by her palms. “Don’t ask.”

Sebastian stilled at her whispered plea, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. The sight of Evangeline—his Evie—curled in on herself, shaking with sobs she was clearly trying to suppress, was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. She was usually so steady, so fierce, even in the face of danger or stress. To see her like this, crumbling under a weight she wouldn’t share, made his stomach churn with helplessness.

He drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to stay calm even as worry clawed at the edges of his mind. “Alright,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I’m not leaving, Evie. So you’re stuck with me until you want to talk.”

He adjusted his position, leaning his back against the cold stone wall beside her, close enough that their shoulders almost touched. Almost. He didn’t want to crowd her, didn’t want to push too hard, but the urge to reach out and comfort her was overwhelming, so he settled for staying near, hoping his presence alone might steady her somehow.

The silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. Her muffled sobs filled the space, each one twisting the knife deeper into his chest. He clenched his hands into fists as he fought the impulse to demand answers, to know who or what had hurt her so badly.

His mind raced, searching for clues, for context. She’d gone out to Hogsmeade for the day, he remembered. With Lysander. The thought of that polished, uptight bastard made Sebastian’s blood boil. And as his thoughts circled back to her polished, perfect courtship, a knot formed in his stomach. It had been the one thing about Evangeline that had always felt entirely out of reach to him—the pristine, structured world Lysander came from. A world Sebastian didn’t belong to, and he’d resigned himself to never being a part of.

But now, seeing her like this, it was clear something had gone wrong. Very wrong. And if Lysander had anything to do with her tears…

Sebastian shifted slightly, his shoulder brushing hers, the brief contact sending a jolt through him. “You know,” he started softly, his voice hesitant, “I’m terrible at waiting.”

A muffled sound came from her, halfway between a sob and a laugh, and it broke his heart even further. But at least she’d made some sound. He pressed on, trying to lighten the suffocating weight in the air. “It’s really not one of my strengths. Patience, I mean. Ominis is always saying it’s one of my fatal flaws, actually.”

She didn’t respond, but her sobs had quieted, her breathing ragged but slowing. He took it as a good sign—or at least, not a bad one.

“So,” he continued, his voice still soft but with a touch more warmth, “if you don’t say something soon, I’m going to start guessing. And I promise you, my guesses are going to be ridiculous.”

Finally, she lifted her head slightly, her tear-streaked face partially visible as she peeked at him from behind her hands. “Like what?” she rasped, her voice hoarse and uneven.

Sebastian straightened, feigning deep thought. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you discovered Peeves has a secret knack for ballroom dancing and you’re distraught you can’t compete with his talent.”

A faint, hoarse laugh escaped her, and the sound sent a rush of relief through him. “That’s ridiculous,” she muttered, her voice still shaky but laced with the faintest trace of amusement.

He grinned, encouraged by the small breakthrough. “Ridiculous, but not impossible. I mean, who’s to say Peeves hasn’t been practicing in the Great Hall after hours? The man—well, ghost—has access to every room in the castle. Plenty of space for twirls and dips.”

Evangeline sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “That’s absurd,” she said, her tone wavering between sadness and reluctant amusement.

“Exactly,” he said, his grin widening. “That’s what happens when you make me guess. Want to hear the next one?”

She shook her head, the motion small and weary, but he caught the faintest flicker of a smile on her lips. “No,” she whispered, her voice still hoarse but a touch steadier now. “You’ll just come up with something worse.”

“Worse?” he echoed, mock offense colouring his tone. “I was about to suggest you were mourning the tragic loss of the best chocolate frogs from Honeydukes. They’ve been discontinued, you know.”

“They have not,” she muttered, her lips twitching despite herself.

He leaned closer, his voice dropping conspiratorially. “They could be, though. Think about it. What if you walked into Honeydukes tomorrow and they were gone forever?”

She let out a soft huff and finally dropped her hands from her face. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her cheeks streaked with dried tears, but she met his gaze for the first time, and it felt like the weight on his chest eased just slightly.

“You’re an idiot,” she murmured, her voice raw but carrying the faintest trace of warmth.

“True,” he admitted easily, his smile softening.

Her lips pressed together, trembling slightly, and for a moment, he worried she might start crying again. But she didn’t. Instead, she drew in a shaky breath, her shoulders rising and falling as she steadied herself, her hands twisting together in her lap.

"It's over." she said simply, her brow furrowing.

Sebastian’s heart lurched, his chest tightening at the pain in her voice. “What’s over?” he asked gently, though he already had an inkling. The way she looked, the way she seemed so utterly defeated—it wasn’t hard to guess.

She stared down at her hands, her fingers twisting together nervously. “Lysander,” she murmured, her voice quiet, almost brittle. “The courtship. It’s... it’s done.”

He didn’t immediately respond, his mind racing to piece together the gravity of what she’d just said. Obviously, Lysander had been a point of tension for him—always had been—and Sebastian couldn't deny the relief that coursed through him at hearing those words. But that relief was fleeting, quickly overshadowed by the way she looked now: fragile, wounded, like the weight of the world had finally crushed her. Any satisfaction he might have felt about the end of her courtship was drowned by the pain etched across her face.

Sebastian shifted closer, leaning his forearms on his knees to meet her gaze. “What happened?” he asked softly.

Evangeline hesitated, her fingers twisting tighter as though she were trying to keep herself anchored. Her breath hitched, and for a moment, he thought she might not answer. Then, with a shuddering exhale, she whispered, "It was... sort of like an ultimatum."

“A what?” Sebastian muttered, his brow furrowing in confusion and anger.

She flinched at his tone, and he immediately softened, his voice gentler. “Sorry Evie, I just... help me understand.”

Her shoulders sagged as though the weight of his question was too much to bear. “He said…” She paused, swallowing hard, and her voice cracked when she continued, “That I’m not… who they expect me to be. That I don’t fit.”

Sebastian’s jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. He had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going, but he didn’t interrupt. He let her speak, even though each word cut him like a knife.

“And that his family...” she continued, her voice barely audible. Her hands fell still in her lap, and she stared at them as though they might hold some answer. “They think it reflects poorly on him. That I reflect poorly on him.”

Sebastian inhaled sharply, the words igniting a fiery rage in his chest. “He actually said that?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Evangeline nodded, biting her lip as fresh tears filled her eyes. “And it’s not just that,” she continued, her voice trembling. “It’s everything—my heritage, my past. He said the only reason they even tolerated us was because of... my magic. Like I’m some kind of... asset.” Her voice broke again, and she buried her face in her hands. “In the end though it’s not even about him,” she whispered through her tears. “I didn’t love him, Sebastian, not really. But to hear him say all those things..."

Sebastian’s chest tightened at her words, his emotions in turmoil. Relief that she hadn’t truly loved Lysander warred with the deep ache he felt for her. No matter her feelings—or lack thereof—for Clearwater, she was still hurting, still carrying the weight of his words like a brand on her skin. And there was something else, something unspoken, lingering in the way she avoided his gaze, the way her shoulders hunched like she was bracing herself against an invisible storm.

He leaned forward slightly, his voice softer now. “Evie,” he said, his tone steady but probing, “what else did he say?”

She froze, her fingers gripping the fabric of her skirt so tightly her knuckles turned white. “That was... everything,” she murmured, but her voice wavered, the words too quick, too practiced.

Sebastian frowned, his sharp instincts honing in on the tell. “No, it wasn’t,” he said gently but firmly.

Her breath hitched, and for a moment, he thought she might retreat entirely.

"You wouldn't understand, Sebastian."

“Try me,” he said quietly, leaning closer, his voice steady despite the storm brewing inside him.

She shook her head, her fingers twisting the fabric of her skirt, her gaze fixed on the cold stone floor. “You wouldn’t,” she repeated, her voice raw and trembling. “You’ve never had to.”

His brows furrowed, confusion flickering across his face. “Never had to what?”

She hesitated, her shoulders tense as if she were bracing herself. “Worry about what you look like."

Sebastian’s chest tightened, his emotions swirling together in a storm he didn’t know how to calm. “Evie,” he started, his voice soft but firm, “you don’t know what’s going on in my head—”

“I don’t need to,” she cut him off, her voice shaking but gaining an edge of steel. She finally looked up, her hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears and anger. “I see it. Every damn day. Every time you walk into a room, girls practically trip over themselves for you. And why wouldn’t they? You’re... well, you. You don’t just fit into the world—you own it.”

He stared at her, stunned by the bitterness in her tone. “Evie, that’s—”

“So no, you don’t understand,” she continued, her voice rising, cutting through his words like a blade. “You don’t know what it’s like to feel like you’re always being... judged. Measured. To be told, outright or with just a look, that you’re both too much and not enough all at once. You don’t know what it’s like to have everything you do picked apart—every bite you eat, every inch of space you take up.” Her hands clenched in her lap, her nails digging into her palms. “At the orphanage, the matron would make comments if I went back for seconds at dinner. Sometimes she’d just look at my plate and raise an eyebrow.”

“And the other kids,” she continued, her voice trembling, “they’d whisper about me, like I couldn’t hear them. About how my skirts fit differently than theirs, about how I wasn’t ‘small enough’ to be adopted. One time, one of the older girls laughed and said no family wanted to take home a child who might ‘grow too big for their house.’” She let out a shaky breath, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. “I was ten, Sebastian. Ten.”

Evangeline’s voice cracked, but she pressed on, the dam holding back years of pain beginning to give way. “You don’t know what it’s like to avoid mirrors for weeks because the reflection doesn’t feel like it belongs to you. Or to overhear the girls in the common room talking about the ‘pretty’ ones in their year, listing names like it’s in some ranking system, and knowing—knowing—you’re never going to make the list." She shook her head, her breath hitching. “And now Lysander—” Her voice broke entirely, and she pressed a hand to her mouth, tears spilling freely down her cheeks. "I tried so hard to be what he wanted me to be. I thought I could be strong enough, brave enough, good enough to prove them all wrong. But no matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I’m never good enough.”

Sebastian’s chest ached as he listened, her every word carving a deeper wound in him than he thought possible. He’d known Evie carried herself with a strength born of necessity, known of her insecurities and quiet resilience since that day last semester when he asked if she'd been eating. When he'd noticed how much weight she lost over the summer. But this—this raw, unfiltered pain—was something he hadn’t expected. It wasn’t just the hurt in her voice or the tears streaming down her face, it was the way she looked at herself, the way she believed every cruel word ever spoken about her. It made him feel helpless. Furious. Protective. He wanted to find every person who had ever hurt her, every whispered insult and judgment, and obliterate them.

But most of all, it made him ache in a way that felt too big to contain.

He wanted to tell her how wrong she was, how impossibly, unfathomably wrong. That every word Lysander had said, every whisper she’d endured, every cutting glance or snide remark—they were all lies, distortions born of jealousy or ignorance. But how could he say that without giving himself away? Without admitting that he noticed every detail about her, not with pity or indifference, but with the kind of quiet, aching reverence that kept him up at night?

He thought about all the times he’d overheard boys talking about her, their voices low and filled with desire but never low enough to escape him. He hated it—not because they were wrong, but because they weren’t. Evangeline was all softness and curves, and he knew it better than anyone. Too well, in fact. He’d memorized the way her robes hugged her frame, how her button-up tops strained against her chest when she leaned forward, and the way her skirts skimmed her hips before flaring out in a way that made his breath hitch.

And he hated that anyone else noticed too.

It wasn’t just envy, though that was certainly a part of it—an ugly, burning part that clawed at him whenever he overheard their whispered comments or saw the way someone’s gaze lingered on her a little too long. It was possessiveness. The kind that made him want to hex anyone who thought they had the right to admire her, even from afar. She wasn’t theirs to look at, to talk about, to fantasize over.

But he didn’t have the right either, did he?

Probably not. But Sebastian liked to convince himself he did, because he saw Evangeline in her quiet moments, in the time she spent alone with him, sitting in the Undercroft or wandering the castle late at night when no one else was around. And he’d noticed the little things, noticed the parts of herself she clearly tried to hide—the way she often draped a book, a pillow, or her arms over her stomach when she sat, as if shielding that part of herself from view. He’d seen the way she shifted her cloak to cover her thighs when she was seated, her gaze flickering nervously around as though someone might judge her for the way they pressed against her skirt.

And he hated that she thought she needed to hide. Because Merlin help him, those were the parts of her he couldn’t stop thinking about.

He’d wondered, more times than he could admit, what she would feel like under his hands, under his mouth. He’d imagined the shape of her thighs beneath those pleated skirts and Hogwarts robes, and the thought of her bare legs tangled with his. He’d pictured the curve of her waist beneath his hands, the softness of her stomach, plush and warm and undeniably hers.

They weren’t flaws. They weren’t things to be hidden or smoothed over or erased. They were a part of her, as much as her sharp wit and fierce determination, as much as the way she laughed or the way her hazel eyes lit up when she was excited about something.

And he’d never been able to stop himself from noticing. From wanting. From imagining.

Sebastian tightened his grip on his knee, trying to steady himself. He wanted to tell her all of this, to pour out the truths that had been locked inside him for so long. To tell her how much he loved the way she looked, the way she moved, the way she held herself even when she was trying so hard to shrink away. To tell her how many nights he’d lay awake, thinking of her—not just the way she made him laugh, or the way she lit up every room she entered, but the way she haunted his every waking thought.

But the words caught in his throat, heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid. He didn’t want her to think he was saying it just to comfort her, or worse, out of pity. He wanted her to believe it, to feel it, to see herself the way he saw her. But how could she, when she’d been told for so long that she wasn’t enough? When she carried the scars of every cruel comment and every dismissive glance?

He exhaled slowly, his hand brushing hers, his voice shaking with quiet intensity. “I see you. All of you. And I swear, you don't need to change a damn thing."

Her teary eyes flicked up to his, searching, as though she didn’t quite believe him. There was hesitation in her gaze, the weight of years of doubt and self-criticism holding her back from trusting his words. Sebastian’s hand remained on hers, steady and warm, as if to silently assure her that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“You don’t mean that,” she whispered, her voice brittle and laced with disbelief. “You’re just saying it because you feel sorry for me.”

The accusation made his chest tighten, a sharp pang of frustration and sadness mingling in his heart. “No,” he said firmly, his grip on her hand tightening just enough to draw her full attention. “I’m not saying this because I feel sorry for you. I’m saying it because it’s true.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but he didn’t give her the chance. He leaned in, his dark eyes locking onto hers, and his voice softened, losing none of its intensity. “Do you know how much it kills me to hear you talk about yourself like this? To think that you believe any of the rubbish people have thrown at you over the years? You’re worth more than every one of their opinions combined.”

Her tears were falling again, but this time, she wasn’t hiding them. She stared at him, her hazel eyes wide and full of emotion, and he could feel the shift in the air between them—a fragile crack in the armor she’d wrapped herself in.

By now, the words he’d kept locked away for so long were hovering dangerously on the tip of Sebastian's tongue. He wanted so badly to lay everything bare—to tell her how he felt, how every moment with her was both a joy and a quiet agony because he wanted more than he thought he deserved. But this wasn’t about him. She was still reeling from everything Lysander had said. She was raw, vulnerable, and the last thing she needed was to think he was taking advantage of that, even unintentionally.

Sebastian’s jaw tightened, and he forced himself to pull back, to reel in the storm of emotions threatening to spill over. “You don’t need anyone’s approval, Evie. Not Lysander’s, not his family’s, not anyone’s. You’re—” He stopped himself just in time, biting back the words he wanted to say, You’re everything to me.

Instead, he swallowed hard and finished, “You’re more than enough just as you are.”

She studied him for a moment longer, her hazel eyes searching his face as though trying to piece something together.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and offered her a small, lopsided smile—the kind he always used when he needed to mask the deeper turmoil inside him. “I mean it,” he said, his voice steadier now, though his heart was still racing. “If Lysander couldn’t see that, then it’s his loss. And if anyone else tries to make you feel like you’re not enough, they’ll have to answer to me.”

Evangeline stared at him, her lips trembling as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t quite find the words. For a moment, all she could do was absorb the quiet intensity in his voice, the way his eyes burned with an emotion she couldn’t quite name. It wasn’t pity—she knew what pity looked like. This was something deeper, something raw and unpolished, and it made her chest ache in a way she hadn’t expected.

“How do you do that?” she asked, her voice soft and almost wistful.

“Do what?”

“Say exactly what I need to hear,” she said, finally meeting his eyes again. “And make it feel like you actually mean it.”

He huffed a small laugh, though there was no humor in it, just a quiet self-awareness. “Because I do mean it. Every word.”

The room fell silent again, the air heavy with unspoken words and emotions too vast to name. She wasn’t sure if she believed everything he said—years of self-doubt weren’t so easily undone—but the way he looked at her, the way he said her name, made her want to try.

“Thank you,” she said softly, the words fragile but genuine.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied, his voice just as soft. “That’s what friends are for.”

Friends.

Evangeline's gaze lingered on him, and for a moment, she thought about asking him what he really meant by that—if that’s all they were, if that’s all they would ever be. But deep down, she knew she didn't want the answer right now. All she wanted was to be here with him, to be close to him, to let herself exist in this moment with her favourite person.

So instead, she leaned her head against his shoulder, tightening her grip on his calloused hand.

“I don’t deserve you,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion.

“You’ve got that backwards,” he said, his voice low and steady. “I don’t deserve you.”

"We can agree to disagree," She said softly.

Sebastian’s lips quirked into a faint smile at her response, though the weight of the moment kept it from reaching his eyes.

Read more stories about Sebastian and Evangeline

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[red-dipped-feathers]

Moon of the Crusted Snow

(picture taken by me)

I am starting off the year with this amazing book written by an indigenous author. Not gonna lie, what attracted me to this book was the beautiful book cover and title with its wintery desolated landscape and mysterious name. Usually, the apocalypse or post-apocalypse genre isn’t something I would read but I was very interested in seeing this genre being explored from an indigenous perspective and boy was I not disappointed! This book was captivating from start to end and it’s definitely going in my recommendations. So here is my review of it. Hope you like it and that I convince you to give this book a shot 😊

Title: Moon of The Crusted Snow

Author: Waubgeshig Rice

Genre: Novel, Apocalypse, post-apocalypse

Publication Date: 2 Octobre 2018

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Introduction:

In Waubgeshig Rice's "Moon of the Crusted Snow," the tranquil existence of a remote Anishinaabe community in Northern Ontario is shattered by an unexplained societal collapse. As winter blankets the land, the novel explores the community's struggle for survival amid diminishing resources and isolation. Rice skillfully blends traditional Anishinaabe storytelling with a stark portrayal of the post-apocalyptic landscape, offering a poignant reflection on culture, community, and the resilience of the human spirit against an unforgiving backdrop of crusted snow and encroaching darkness.

Plot:

The overarching plot of the narrative proves to be a compelling and intriguing aspect of "Moon of the Crusted Snow." Waubgeshig Rice skillfully introduces a palpable sense of anxiety that permeates the characters' experiences as they grapple with the impending end of the world, all while remaining oblivious to its occurrence. Although the story begins at a deliberate pace, it progressively gains momentum, ensuring a smooth and well-paced development without feeling rushed.

What sets Rice's storytelling apart is his ability to sustain a high level of suspense throughout, even when readers are privy to the impending apocalypse. The narrative skillfully keeps readers on the edge of their seats, evoking a genuine sense of unease for the characters and their uncertain fate. Remarkably, despite the limited action, the storyline remains engaging, avoiding any dull or stagnant moments. The brevity of the chapters contributes to the overall dynamism, allowing the narrative to maintain its momentum and ensuring that the reader remains captivated by the unfolding events.

Plot rating : 4/5

Characters:

The narrative predominantly unfolds through the lens of the central character, Evan, serving as the focal point through which the actions of the other characters come into view. While it's worth noting that the book doesn't delve into extensive character development, I find it to be fitting for the genre. In the context of this apocalyptic tale, the emphasis on character evolution might be secondary.

Evan, as the protagonist, provides readers with a vivid portrayal of life in a secluded community during the apocalypse. The narrative encapsulates the prevalent mistrust and paranoia that takes root within the community, creating a palpable atmosphere of impending doom. This thematic focus, coupled with Evan's perspective, adds a layer of intensity to the storyline, making it a captivating read.

Notably, the narrative occasionally shifts its lens to Nicole, Evan's wife, offering a valuable alternative perspective. This additional point of view provides a nuanced exploration of the unfolding events, enriching the reader's understanding of the characters and the dire situation they find themselves in.

Character rating : 3.25/5

Themes and Messages:

"Moon of the Crusted Snow" by Waubgeshig Rice delves into the themes of survival, resilience, and cultural identity within an Anishinaabe community facing an apocalyptic scenario. The narrative underscores the importance of preserving traditional knowledge, emphasizes community bonds, and explores the fear of the unknown. The novel subtly addresses the impact of modernity on indigenous communities and reflects on power dynamics within the community during times of crisis. Against a backdrop of a harsh winter landscape, the story intertwines environmental resonance with human experiences, prompting reflection on the interconnectedness between nature and humanity. Overall, Rice weaves a compelling narrative that goes beyond the typical post-apocalyptic tale, inviting readers to ponder cultural preservation, collective strength, and the profound effects of societal collapse on a community deeply rooted in its traditions.

Theme rating : 5/5

Strengths:

Brings a different perspective to the end of the world

Well written story line

High level of suspense, you can feel your anxiety building with each chapter

Weaknesses:

Does start off at a slow pace

Not a lot of action (personally, I don’t feel it was needed for this story but I know some of you might find the story a bit lacking or even boring)

So here you go, the first review of the year and the first review on this blog! let me know if you liked it and if it made you want to read the book.

Also, if you already read this book let me know if you enjoyed it and if you agree or disagree with my review 😊

See you next time !

Red dipped feathers

P.S. I’m def going to read the second book to this story called “Moon of the Turning Leaves”, so make sure to stick around for that review!

[xoxoemynn]

I'm glad you feel at least a teensy bit better after sleeping. I feel pretty out of it. I've had a few weeks of ups and downs that have left me pretty exhausted before this news.

I hope you don't mind me leaving a message here. I've never been part of the fandom community, just outside of it, so I'm not even really feeling the 'at least we still have each other' sentiment. Ofmd helped me revive my creativity after years of not creating anything when I used to do so much. I'm still slower at it than I used to be, but it's a start. It's something.

Ofmd gave me the strength to come out at work, to be myself in most parts of my life rather than just carefully cultivated moments. I've found strength I never knew I had. Ffs I'm doing diversity training information stuff now??

I feels good. Feels great. And I really don't think it was a long shot to think that a successful, critically acclaimed show would get rescued. (I did wonder if making it very clear how valuable it was made HBO have an insane asking price but I hope not)

And I know s2 ended neatly (thank god) but I was so on board with Jenkins' view of "the will-they-won't-they is the least interesting part of a romance". Because you never see the payoff! It's just oh they're together now, the end, and you don't get to experience the characters as a couple. The story was the development of Ed and Stede's relationship, and a 3rd part would have given us the full scope of that.. *sigh

Idk I guess I'm just at a bit of a loss. Feeling empty. I was already struggling posting my work, or thinking how to adjust how I do it, because I don't feel its good enough for this fandom (which in my very limited experience feels very clique-y? If you're not in with the cool kids then no one cares and I'm too old for this!) It's all a bit "what's the point" I guess. I expect it'll pass but aaa, man. Y’know. Rant over, thanks for reading ^^'

The deepest of sighs, the tightest of hugs.

I feel you. Starting work today with swollen eyes and a tired heart. It sucks. This all just really sucks. And yes, I'm so grateful we got the show at all, I'm so grateful for the cast/crew, I'm so grateful for this fandom and the friends I made along the way. But this show, that did EVERYTHING RIGHT, ended before its time. And there's no getting around that just really, really sucks.

You're right, I don't think it was ridiculous to believe our renewal efforts might be successful. Because it SHOULD have been! It was a beautiful show with a passionate fan base that was also viewed very favorably by critics. In any sane world, OFMD's renewal would have been a given. And it's not silly or stupid to hope for good things to happen in a world where so often good things don't. The solution to the world being a shit show isn't to just bow our heads and accept it. It's to keep hope alive because yes, it might turn out different this time! Beautiful things deserve to be cherished, and that's what we did and will continue to do with OFMD. OFMD wasn't canceled due to a lack of love. It was corporate greed, pure and simple, and unfortunately that's a really difficult evil to fight against. But we still gave it our all, and people and the industry took note. That's no small feat.

And the show did so much for all of us! I'm so happy it gave you the strength to come out at work and live more in your authentic self. That's huge! That's the power of good art. And that's something studio heads can never take into account while they plug figures into their calculators and huff and puff about the numbers not being there.

I do hope you'll post your work, and share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. We really are of all skill levels here, and I've found genuine love of the show/its characters > the most technically well-written fic on the planet. I do hear what you say about it feeling cliquey, but for what it's worth, I also think it's very welcoming to newcomers? I realize that sounds like a contradiction. But I do think people have just kind of naturally formed little social circles of their friends and it can feel hard to break into, especially if you're an introvert like me. But I think if you start just getting in people's inboxes or reblogging with tags that show your personality/opinions/whatever, you'll start naturally forming those groups on your own. I'd also really recommend the OFMD Fic Club server if you're trying to get the courage to start posting your own work. It's a really supportive community there of people who've been posting for decades, as well as those who are just beginning to plan their very first fic.

Anyway, this is getting long and rambling so I'll end it here, but please know I'm sending you SO much love. It sucks right now but we'll get through it. And my DMs are open if you ever just want to chat. 💕

[dropout-if]

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel? - AII R0s pIs!

Unpacking Statler's baggage 🏃‍♀️

From this ask game!

Confident and Positive. J feels great about their appearance, and that confidence extends to all areas of their life. They feel deserving of love and are comfortable pursuing romantic or sexual relationships.

J is confidence incarnate lol. This confidence is a set of J's perception of their beauty, achievements, capabilities, and how well they meet their goals. J knows they are attractive and are realistic enough about it—as in… you're not going to see them being modest or humble lol.

That being said, when it comes to seeing themselves as worthy of love or sex, J ties their self-worth more to their accomplishments, how they're perceived by their neighbors/friends/family (social status) and how their perceive themself as a capable individual. While appearance plays a role, it might not be the sole determinant of J's sense of worthiness in romantic or sexual contexts.

Embraces Imperfections. Uma has flaws, but they make them who they are, and that's okay. Their self-assuredness comes from embracing their uniqueness. They believe that genuine connection comes from accepting oneself fully, regardless of perceived attractiveness.

Uma is insecure but their attractiveness and body are something they have come to accept and embrace. So no, their perception of beauty is unrelated to their confidence. Uma's self-esteem can be influenced by how well they feel they conform to their personal ideals of beauty and aesthetics. They're comfortable in their skin as long as they're staying true to themself.

In terms of seeing themselves as worthy of love or sex, an Uma's self-perception of attractiveness can play a role, but it's not the only factor.

It's very spoilery to delve on their insecurities so I'll leave it at that lol

Insecure and Self-Doubting. Statler doesn't think they're attractive at all, and it affects how they interact with others. They struggle with self-esteem and often doubt their capabilities, and may feel unworthy of love or intimacy. Statler fears rejection due to their perceived unattractiveness.

Statler's opinion of their own beauty does have a significant impact on their confidence and self-esteem. The thing is— they're not confident at all. Statler's really attuned to the people surrounding them, and this sensitivity extends to how they view themselves. Though people tend to compliment them, Statler doesn't really tend to believe them. Their negative self-perception is deeply rooted now, and they tend to doubt themself.

When it comes to viewing themself as worthy of love or sex, Statler's lack of confidence definitely affects their relationships. Getting close to them is hard, as their insecurities are their own burden to carry.

Confident, but With Moments of Doubt. Wanda generally feels attractive, but sometimes she has her off days. Her confidence fluctuates but is generally positive. Wanda may doubt her attractiveness temporarily but not to an extreme extent.

Wanda's opinion of her own beauty is often closely linked to her confidence and self-esteem. She places some degree of importance on how she presents herself to the world, and she wants to feel good about her appearance. Consequently, feeling good contributes greatly to her overall self-assurance.

In terms of seeing themselves as worthy of love or sex, Wanda's self-perception often plays a role. She wants to feel beautiful and for her partners to find her attractive.

However, Wanda has a strong desire for fun, adventure, and enjoyment of life. She values experiences and living in the moment, and this can extend to her romantic and sexual relationships.

Growing into Self-Confidence. Kai used to be uncertain, but over time, they've grown more confident. Their self-assuredness has evolved through experiences, and they believe in their worthiness as they've become more comfortable in their skin.

Kai's hard to explain because they have different ideas and approaches depending on many factors. Overall, their perception of their own beauty is not as closely tied to their confidence and self-esteem. Being attractive was simply something Kai didn't think or care about. It's true that they really struggled with insecurities in the past, but it was something they accepted and never tried to change.

That being said, Kai's glow-up was majorly a matter of confidence. Their self-assurance is the reason people tend to find them really attractive. Kai is aware of this. They're very realistic about their looks, their flaws, and the good parts about them.

When it comes to love or sex, Kai just really wants someone they can have a good time with. Their looks have never been that relevant.

Focused on Inner Qualities. Physical appearance isn't everything; his personality defines him better. Travis derives confidence from his intelligence and talents. He considers his inner qualities as the basis for worthiness and prioritizes emotional connection in relationships.

Travis' opinion of his own beauty is less influential on their confidence and self-esteem. He struggled with his own views on his body but has since become much more comfortable, especially given how he looks nowadays after his transition ^^.

While Travis has a sense of how he looks—and he really likes how he looks—his confidence is typically more tied to the fact that he values logical reasoning and evaluates himself based on his accomplishments and expertise rather than his attractiveness.

When it comes to seeing himself as worthy of love or sex, Travis' self-perception of attractiveness might not play a significant role. Instead, he is more likely to focus on forming connections.