courtkossai

[courtkossai]

Being a ranger I spend a lot of time alone in the wilderness for hours in the company of one of four co workers.

One such worker for the purpose of this post we shall refer to as Dave.

Dave is a very quiet man. He confesses that if conversation happens too quickly and for too long he gets tired so we often work in silence. He's very polite and good natured but it's obvious that he would happily live and work alone for the rest of his life given the option.

He's very much in the previous generation of ranger, a practical man in his fourties or fifties happy to be kept physically busy for a day and then be sent home with some pay. I had to show him how to use a work issued smart phone.

Meanwhile the rest of the team is made up of the current generation of rangers; openly nurodivergent queer women in their twenties or thirties who work this job because it's the only setting where we can vaguely look sane.

So Dave sticks out a bit. It's really nice when he opens up though because he's an impulsive individual when left to his own devices and has plenty of stories to tell if the mood takes him. I really like working with Dave.

Anyway, one day we've got a job that takes a three hour hike to get to and early on the topic of deer comes up.

I hadn't realised this was the first time we had discussed deer, but blatantly it was. Dave's entire demeanour changes, there's a bit of passion in his voice, but it's also hushed as if he's talking about something sacred.

"Deer are my favourite animal." He says.

I'm also eager to hear Dave talk about himself, so I encourage him to say more.

"I'd love to be a deer myself."

And more

"If a genie offered me the opportunity to become a deer I'd take it. I wouldn't even stop to ask what the price was."

And more

"Sometimes I feel like I'm a deer having a dream about being a human.*

And there I am, a long time commuter to the therian/otherkin community keeping up the encouraging face of someone being politely interested, knowing that this man is straight up a therian with no frame of reference.

And I decided that I wouldn't push the subject outside of the bounds of what Dave is comfortable with, I wouldn't try to teach him the terms "Therian" or "Otherkin" but absolutely I would talk with this man as if he's a deer.

And it's a bit magical really. He's an impulsive individual so I have to talk him out of some risky choices every so often and "this is why deer like you keep getting stuck in fences" has become this magical phrase that allows him to step down from a mistake with a bit of a smile on his face.

[courtkossai]

[courtkossai]

"damn I'm crying over an insect" "why am I having such strong feelings over how the sky looks" "it's weird how happy this small thing made me feel" THAT'S BECAUSE YOU LIVE HERE!!!! you live on this earth. everything all the time is an experience, no matter how common or mundane. this world is unique. so are its small moments. it is good to enjoy a tiny thing. you love the world even at its smallest scale.

[courtkossai]

physical nonhumanity is not just OK , just acceptable , just valid or otherwise - physical nonhumanity is , honestly , as profound and sacred as other expressions of nonhumanity .

regardless of origin , regardless of reasons , any of that . everyone have rich lives , rich stories to tell about those lives , and that is so very wonderful !

[courtkossai]

One of my favorite characters I've ever played in a ttrpg was in Mage: the Awakening. In that game, when a mage unlocks their magical ability, they do it through a sort of spiritual journey. This may be a literal journey overlain with magical symbolism, or a journey fully contained in the mindscape, or anything else; but there is a journey, and there is a destination, and there is an act of inscribing your name on the source of power to bind yourself to that source.

My character was not the person who initiated their journey. That was a child, a small, helpless boy, who had been enduring a rough life. He was in danger, and in the moment just before the blow hit, he found himself in a barren wasteland, but he wasn't alone. Standing beside him was a hulking beast, fur made of shadow, eyes glowing red like blood, claws clearly designed to rend and tear flesh. This was an imaginary friend, or maybe a headmate of some sort. A protector, either way. The beast, who the boy called Jason, took the journey by the boy's side. It protected him, it pushed him on, it allowed him to ride on its back when he grew weary. And together, they reached the dark tower, the hub of necromantic and transmutation magic. And Jason knew what would happen; the boy would inscribe his name, and return to the waking world, and die. No time had passed there. The man whose fist was approaching the boy was still there, his hand in mid-swing. The boy would have power, but not the strength to use it.

Jason, instead, inscribed his own name. To the world, the boy merely blinked. To Jason, he suddenly found himself alive, in a flesh and bones body, and he responded to the threat. He killed the man, and he ran off. But when he tried to give the boy his body back, he couldn't. He didn't know the way back to the tower. He couldn't separate from the body he now inhabited.

The game took place ten years after that story. Ten years of being a beast trapped in a human body. Ten years of being gradually domesticated by the joy of friends and the love of a girl named Iris. But he never forgot. He was nine feet tall at the shoulder. He could feel his fur when he closed his eyes and let the breeze flow over him. He could feel his claws, see through those blood-red eyes, when the rage threatened to overtake him. He wasn't human, but no one could see that. And somewhere, out there, was a boy he had left alone and scared, waiting for his protector to return; and the guilt of that knowledge haunted Jason every day of his stolen life.

[courtkossai]

try to write megapost for dreamwidth , and ugh , this is not time to question ! >.>

... or realistically perfect time to question , but will be grumpy about this anyway .

( currently debate which phrase is more accurate to describe dual nature of kossai : two bodies , or two expressions of one body . also debate whether this is important to distinguish , or if just kind of split hairs at this point . but then think , two expressions could be clearer to layperson ... and also might not be at all . flipside , two bodies honestly feel sort of quick and dirty , not clearest way to explain . pah , fucking words . )

[courtkossai]

Growing up Mormon AND with long hair that I didn’t cut because of pressure from my mom, to me the metaphor here is pretty obvious… you can read it how you want though.

[courtkossai]

kossai generally do not like machine generative models , not as currently exist with so much theft and technological strain . however , sometimes hard to avoid these things , and would just like to say -

there is funny little irony in models that struggle to create faeries , particularly faeries with wings . wings askew . wings on front . only one wing . too many wings . completely asymmetrical wings . wings not even attach to body .

despite best efforts , this technology of human creation can not mimic that of faerie .

[courtkossai]

as faerie folk , probably pretty well aware that depictions of faeries in 2000s media especially can be twee , girly , and sometimes downright silly . understandably , not all faerie folk care too much for these things , especially if did not grow up as target audience . but , indulge kossai here momentarily , please ;D

specifically narrow in on 2000s releases here , and especially things that have girly or twee depictions of faeries - and even this is still far from everything , especially with availability ( or lack thereof ) in other countries and languages .

also , this is not to discount mature themes and tension which some of these media do carry - but have to admit still draw on certain ideas !

[courtkossai]

kossai struggle with this , but always try to put something - this post was help with format and nice to find again . look for point of picture , why is this picture worth share , and describe that .

sometimes people bog down in every little detail and then someone who need description have to go through superficial detail after superficial detail just to finally reach point . can really waste time and frustrate - imagine someone who tell story of latest drive out , but decide to include every moment of speed up , slow down , get gas , make turn , even when not relevant or notable at all .

if share cat picture because cat make funny face , describe that funny face more than background or coat colour ! unless picture exist specifically to showcase outfit , probably do not focus on minute details of outfit - focus on something notable about outfit , or just describe simply as plain clothes , golden regalia , frilly lolita coordinate , so on .

yknow i never noticed the sheer rareness of images having ids or alt text on this website until i started adding alt text to my art (and trying to remember to add it to any images i post in general, especially text screenshots) and that makes me kinda sad

[courtkossai]

Perhaps this will be thought of as being too woke but it's really discouraging that people are constantly inventing new reasons to think of people with slow reaction times or who misunderstand instructions as evil or idiotic or soulless. Like complaining about older people having a blank stare while they try to process what the barista said or whatever. Oh, they have the evil bad people lead poisoning. They're brain damaged. They have Facebook brainrot. They're NPCs, whatever, etc. As someone with bad sensory processing from psychosis and ADHD (you people can't do anything haha I know omg disabled person is disabled) I so often end up lagging there trying to understand what I'm supposed to do. I have trouble reading the instructions on the keypad, I have trouble processing the push or pull on the door, I have trouble processing the words being said to me and following instructions. You can still think I'm a piece of shit customer and that's fine but going online and seeing people act like this behavior makes you subhuman and non-concious is soooo depressing

[courtkossai]

interaction and tolerance for physical nonhumans

so , maybe good friend just dip toes into new labels , start to express hidden feelings . or maybe just happen to stumble across some stranger who say , yes , body is that of nonhuman creature . what is there to do about all that ? that might seem kind of scary , or like … weird … 

will say up front this is more about general respect , regardless of how and why one experience physical nonhumanity , than how to help with delusions if applicable - those answers can vary between folks .

follow lead of how this individual refer to experiences . is this part of religion ? then do not call delusion . is this delusion ? then do not call part of religion . so on and so forth - unless very new to explore , chance is likely already think lots about framework which fit and have reasons why . even if one feel from outside that this is somehow wrong framework , this is almost sure to only frustrate and annoy . if this answer is wrong , there is no way to rush process . 

follow lead of how this individual self label , as well . some folks reject person and ask to be creature , some folks reject creature and hold onto person instead . some folks talk about flippers or snouts rather than hands or noses , and may refer to body parts that humans lack like wings or tails . do not make fuss of this - just follow lead .

understand that physical nonhumanity is not equivalent with low safety , low judgment , and high risk . this can be experience for some folks , but not inherently so - physical nonhumanity is also not always source of trouble , and may even help . attempts to bring consensus reality and look out for safety will be - especially as random stranger - unnecessary , insensitive , and possibly even counterproductive . 

as friend of physical nonhuman , do not feel afraid to ask what to do in event of distress or danger , and how to identify . bear in mind not all will give details to this - that can be sensitive information , and in some cases there might not be anything to do unless physically beside each other . regardless , try best to follow lead , and not categorise whole identity and experience as danger or distress . 

understand that physical nonhumans can reject attempts to treat identity away . medical system is generally horrendous to those with experiences in realm of psychosis and schizophrenia , whether brain is measurably different or not . do not assume that lack of treatment means danger - for some folks , treatment can make life more dangerous and stressful . 

understand that short term experiences of psychosis not equivalent to long term experiences . under right circumstances , most anyone can experience psychotic break from severe stress or trauma - these experiences can be extremely painful and dangerous . however , that is not necessarily experience of folks in long term psychosis - long term experience with psychosis can give grasp on plans , limitations , and when to ask for help .

important side note : even if someone truly lack grasp on those things , personal short term experiences will still not necessarily translate into helpful strategies for such individual , and sometimes there will be no way to help - this is failure of system , not individual . society and medical systems can be hard to navigate even inside normative frameworks , let alone those of psychosis - many folks would rather keep independent agency , even if this might put at risk in long term , than give up agency and feel like doctor's pet experiment . there absolutely must be middle ground which allow autonomy with support .

understand that conditional acceptance of physical nonhumans is not fair acceptance . if someone choose to label self clinical zoanthrope and therian , be kind and accept that . if someone reject label of delusion entirely for any reason , be kind and accept that . everyone is in need of community , and everyone can learn from everyone - attempts to uphold arbitrary gates will not help anyone . 

understand that no , will almost definitely never get blood and tissue samples to personally verify experience . luckily there is no actual need for that ! would not ask for sample of soul or brain tissue from anyone else to still respect experiences , right ? no reason to treat physical nonhumans this way , then . nothing in personal life will change whether or not receive proof , nor will experiences of physical nonhumans just change on whim . 

again , understand that physical nonhumans have frameworks as to why and how this is experience . these frameworks can be as variable as for other alterhuman experiences - religion and delusion , while convenient shorthand , certainly do not cover everything - and can have just as much serious thought and introspection . 

finally , understand that to push away " weirdos and crazies " will not earn approval from people who want to hate , only stifle community . when community focus on mainstream appeal , there is less and less room for important discussions , for folks to talk about true experiences , and to violently reject and de-associate from those who " fail " , within smaller and smaller limits until no one is left . appeal is pointless endeavour - learn to embrace . 

to read about some of these points more in depth , please see kossai masterpost . :)

[courtkossai]

( kossai usually ignore this blog when appear in search because absolute cesspool for physical nonhumans , but this one is legitimate question , and so far no one else answer quite this perspective . )

not physical therian specifically , but still physical nonhumans - faeries . to kossai at least , transspecies indicate history that is not of current species . kossai exist as faeries from start , exist as faeries now , and will always exist as faeries - ergo , not transspecies . there is no human to faerie line to follow here .

this stuff be talked about reminds me... how come physical therians dont call themselves transspecies? wouldnt that be more accurate? /genq

🐾

[courtkossai]

new alterhuman discourse ! forget about everything else !

[courtkossai]

totally vital ;D

lover legion say this is controversial , and now must know .

ice cream bars with chocolate outer shells , like these :

[courtkossai]

To aid ongoing recovery efforts in mystical lands recently devastated by a moonbeam, singer and composer Björk held a benefit concert Thursday in support of wilted sunflowers living in the mushroom forest. “This next song goes out to this enchanted mushroom forest and all the drooping sunflowers who were affected by the orb of night’s twilight rays,” said Björk, noting that all lily pads donated by concert attendees would go toward reviving the soil with glow worms and reinforcing the flowers’ stalks so they could one day grow high enough to reach the very star for which they were named.

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