#if jon could like. actually get drunk

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jon, visibly drunk: So, this is my boyfriend.

Damian: No.

Jon: Scratch that, he's more like a special someone.

Damian: *intense glaring*

Jon: Okay... but we're like, more than friends... we're super close.

Damian: *glaring intensifies*

Jon: I give up! What are we?

Damian: We are married, Jonathan.

[sarahcmarie]

People always look up to the bats whether they are civilians or hero’s themselves but they don’t know all of the batshit (ha) crazy or stupid things they do

Bruce is one of the most guilty of this but only his kids know it Especially Tim and dick who has seen trip on his cape more than once tim once saw Bruce get a concussion only for Bruce to try (and fail) to convince Tim he was fine

But that doesn’t mean the other kids don’t share this trait

Dick is the hero that other hero’s look up to that being said this man has done some pretty stupid shit including but not limited to getting shot and not telling anyone because he “didn’t think it was that big of a deal”

When dick was a teenager he got into a argument with Bruce and decided the best course of action was to steal Bruce’s car with Roy and do donuts in a abandoned parking lot at two in the morning which led to them crashing it on accident

He and Jason once got into an argument and didn’t talk for almost a week everybody assumed it had to have been something horrible but in all actuality they got into an argument over what house dick would be in if he were in Harry Potter

Jason will never say it but he’s a bat through and through which comes with doing the stupid shit the bats do

Jason although will never admit it but he saw dick do a trick over patrol and thought it was the coolest thing ever and attempted it himself and sprained his ankle

One time Jason and Roy got so drunk they sang the entire sound track to frozen one and two and lost their voices because of it only Kory knows this

Tim is a special case because he was raised by Janet drake so he knows how to put up a very convincing façade but he has his moments just like the rest of the family

He once went so long without sleep he had an entire conversation with a wall thinking it was Bruce

Tim had forgotten about family movie night and so he had gotten really high with YJ but by the time he remembered it was to late and he was so high he could hear colors nobody ever found out how high Tim was but trying to keep his family from figuring out that he was high was more scary then any rouge Tim had ever faced

Damian was raised by the league of assassins flaws were trained out of him… that being said he is his fathers son which means he had his moments just like the rest of the family

He once spent an entire conversation (rant) with Jon in Arabic until jon sheepishly reminded him he didn’t speak that language and asked him to repeat it English

Despite everything Damian is still totally convinced he could beat Superman in a fight if he had to without any help

Point being the bats are some of the smartest idiots in the world

[jellyfishsthings]

WARNINGS: reader is a Velaryon with some Targaryen features but not an OC, this is just some story building there will be other parts. I just finished the books and I am obsessed with GOT wither way I was bored and this is the result so beware ... I think that's it. Also Theon is a pookie in this fic because I said so

PAIRING: fem!reader x Robb Stark (romantically), fem!reader x Jon Snow (platonically), fem!reader x Theon Greyjoy (platonically)

part 2 , part 3

The cold wind still raged on, hitting the walls of Winterfell. Her room was one on the lower floors next to Jon's and Theon's rooms. The sunrays gently fell on her sleeping figure dragging her from her deep slumber. The fireplace was filled with ashes and the chill in her bones was reasonable. It might still be summer on the North, yet the occasional snow always drifted down from the dark grey clouds. A discreet knock pulled her out of her thoughts and Theon's irritated voice filled the room.

"If you are not in the courtyard in two minutes, I am ratting you out"

Like clock work the same words sounded the moment dawn greeted the North. It was a small routine they had formed two namedays ago. She covered herself in Robb's old furs, the ones he secretly gave to her and claimed he lost them. They had kept her warm for over six moon cycles, they had holes in several places and the edges were coming apart but it was her most prized possession. At first it smelled at him and she was always trying to bask in his scent, that was until Theon caught her smelling the neckline while wearing it and she wouldn't hear the end of it until she openly caught him staring longingly at Sansa.

Unfortunately, they were both in the same position, they wanted people they could never have, and only each other knew. They would drink together glasses of wine and they would stumble giggling around the castle. One time he had drunk so much that he composed atrocious poetry about the beauty of his lady Sansa and her copper hair and then about the Northern prince that fell in love with a girl that had mud brown hair adorned with streaks of silver grey and deep violet eyes that appeared dark blue in the right light. She knew that her appearance betrayed her ancestry the Targaryen blood that flowed in her Velaryon veins.

Her family had been brutally murdered, she had heard and read the tales of how her mother gave her life to protect her dark-haired girl and the bloody necklace that hugged her fathers throat. At the tender age of seven moon cycles her whole family had perished and she had been the only survivor. Ned Stark had found her in a bundle of fabrics crying her heart out and once he saw the sword that could have taken her head, he swore to protect her and take her in as his ward. She should have been grateful, she knew as much, he had given her everything, a warm house, plenty food, clothes and a loving family one she wasn't actually a part of and maybe that was the reason she was closer with Theon and Jon, the outsiders. It wasn't like she didn't like the Starks, she loved them to bits and yet she could never be one of them. She would be the squire under their Maesters care with her nose hidden in ancient books and scrolls, lost in maps and various languages and basic training as a healer. But her new passion was sword fighting. As a woman she had only been allowed to practice archery that she was quite good at and always betted with the boys around their performance.

And that was how Theon found himself at incredibly early hours with a wooden sword in his hand, frowning at drawings of fighting styles freezing his "balls" off. She had bested him at the fine art of combat at practically her fifth lesson in a few hits. She had a strategic mind and she was quick on her feet, the most perfect and most deadly combination that existed.

He pitted the man that would take her as his wife, because most men were incredibly controlling but there was no chance, she wouldn't get things her way. He was proof enough.

She had the three of them wrapped around her little finger from all those years back. She had grown up with them from when she was a babe, but at her seventh nameday her and the Maester left, since she was his squire, she had to follow him, he had taken her under his wing, she had practically been his daughter, the one he never had. At that day and several later they had cried so much that even Lady Stark was regretting her decision, she liked the girl enough, she had the tendency to wreak havoc and get lost in her books a bit too much, neglecting her chores and her lessons at needlepoint half the time, but she made her kids happy and she was too smart and witty for her own good that it was impossible not to have a sweet spot for the orphaned girl. She had been overjoyed when she learned about her return nine namedays afterwards. Her son, her calm and collected Robb was shuffling at his feet, nudging rocks around and toying with the hem of his cloak, the bastard and the Greyjoy ward were portraying similar behaviors and she had to control herself not to laugh at their antics.

Ned had pushed his son forth, claiming that it was around time he greeted their guests, he shot him a glare and his parented watched him as he wiped down his palms at his breeches and headed towards the carriage, his hand shook as he lightly grazed the handle and pulled the door open while staring into place, not ready to accept that his best friend might have changed. He was frozen in his place as a girl wearing a dark blue dress and heeled leather boots stood before him. She tilted her head to the right and only then did he notice her hair.

A knot at the back of her head that was a swirl of chocolate brown and silver white strands that framed her face beautifully. Her violet eyes hid a familiar mischief that he had dearly missed. She nodded at him, before facing his father and dropping into an elegant curtesy. It was as if he was on a trance, unable to tear his eyes from her form. It wasn't until he heard her voice, she was speaking in a language he didn't understand, yet he could recognize the bite on her tone. His father wore an amused smile as he answered her back. He would learn at the evening feast what had caused such reactions, the news almost swept him from his feet, his whole existence reduced to one word. Betrothed. Ever since then it was like they were walking on eggshells around her. All three of them longed for their missing link.

It wasn't until a few days latter when they invited her on a hunt that they could glimpse on what they were. They had found a boar and his in bushes only to lose their horses in the process. They had been walking for hours and all it took was an ill-fated joke from Jon.

"No. I do not love you. Of course I lied to you. Yes, it does make you look fat. No, I have never been in the Riverlands. It is pronounced Eyrie. And all of this pales to utter insignificance if we are to let ourselves be food for the hounds."

They had all been tired and snappy, making comments left and right and picking fun at her the way they used to. They had been waiting quite impatiently for her to snap back and the moment she did, loud laughter echoed in the woods. And just like that everything was back to the way it used to be.

Ever since then life seemed dreamy to Robb, he had his friends and his family all getting along and everything seemed perfect. But reality hit him hard each night knowing that the girl he fostered feelings for was promised to another.

[dipperscavern]

hey!!! i’m mean jon anon (https://www.tumblr.com/dipperscavern/756299449931825152/post-resurrection-jon-snow-fucks-mean-mean-in-a) reporting with new thoughts!!!!

jon snow is an ass man, he just is. i don’t make the rules (… or do i?) if anyone asks him what is his favorite part about you, he will probably say your smile or your eyes or your passionate and strong personality…. even when he drunkenly slurs to you how much he loves that bum…

and it is kinda cute!!! when he stands behind you, his hand on your hip is dangerously close to your ass cheek, but not on it!!! he does absolutely not touch your ass in public, like bitch please he is a gentleman. a quick peck on the lips and a little pat on the ass.

but it’s his own punishment, he is polite and well spoken, he loves you and worships the ground you walk on…. if someone looks at you too much, touches you, flirts with you. he can’t be mean in public, he can’t bark them away from you. he is the king in the north goddamnit, if he wanted, he could have a messy fluid-disgusting make out session with you while grabbing and squeezing your ass and no one would dare to object, but his own morals and ideas of what is proper are digging his own grave.

so he just stares, and clench his fist. a little frown on his face, he is clearly discontent. and will complain later (possessive jon will be extended later….)

SO… he fucks you from behind, one side of your face on the mattress hips in the air. drunk in the view of your ass cheeks bouncing against his hips. clap clap clap fills the room with your whines and he really can’t help himself when his hands grab your cheeks, opening up for him to have the whole view.

pretty pussy drooling on him, little puckered hole winking. so inviting. he pushed his body on you, until his back is on your back, fully weight on you. your mind blurry by his big body and warm against you. his lips leaving kisses on your shoulder, with his left hand still on your globe and the other cupping your jaw, with his thumb making his way into your mouth without much a problem. he lets out a groan when you start sucking, so eager and dirty. with his finger alllllllll wet, he goes back to his initial position (of course, after leaving a quick kiss on your temple). spanks your ass with his left hand, making sure you are still open for him. enjoying your little jump. his right hand with his wet thumb, pressing so gentle against your tight hole.

you let out a gasp, clenching the sheets between your fists. jon you call out, on surprise. a humming noise is your response, his way of telling you he is listening, for you to go on. his thrusts are deep and slow now, making sure it’s not too much for his sweet girl. please you continue. you don’t even know what you are pleading for. faster? stop? more? jon still has his thumb in your hole, still thrusting. he knows what you want. but he’s going to make you say it (so mean :( ) please what, darling? and his thumb slowly entering makes you gasp louder for please, please i need it please- so bad- but he is not letting go so easy oh love, what do you need? want it faster or need this pretty hole fucked by my cock too? oh gods he is dirty mouthed when he gets like this, this side so brutally needy and rough to own all of you (like he doesn’t already own your soul). but even in your ditzy mind state you want to make the beast in him growl. in your whiny fucked-dumb voice you finally said any- please- fuck any of them- i’m yours. by the end of that night, you confirm your theory. jon snow is a gentleman but he fucks you like a mean man. dirty and disgusting. stuffs all of your holes and makes you say over and over again anything he wants.

ps.: i didn’t find anything in your blog that said something against anal, so if you aren’t into it i’m sorry 😭😭😭 ignore that part…

Hey so i actually need you to become a writer right now haha no biggie lol i’m only going a little insane

i’m not even an anal gal like that but… i’d do it. THE ACCURACY IN WHICH U POTRAY HIM HAS ME SHOOK. JON SNOW IS AN ASS MAN. the kiss on your temple his back draped over yours him humming letting u know he’s listening…. i’m so sorry i don’t have much to add you’ve rendered me speechless i’m just leaving this here haha (i need to be cas-evaced by helicopter)

[spacedace]

So I have an idea for a dp x dc fic and I'm going to throw it here since i need to get it out of my head and i'm not sure i'll ever actually write it (and as always if anyone finds my rambles interesting any/all of it us up for grabs to run with):

Elle ends up crashing into the DC universe while exploring, but despite all the dimension/multivariate nonsense that always goes down (or maybe because of it) she can't actually get back, and the levels of ectoplasm are a lot lower than most dimensions which weakens her quite a bit.

There's enough for her to survive, and use her powers a little bit, but using them too much makes her get really weak/maybe even causes serious harm depending on how much she uses.

She finds this out when she tries to open a portal home and both fails to open the portal & passes out as a result of trying. Cut to Elle waking up in Cadmus and realizing "ah, fucked up unethical science, I am familiar with this fuckery" and escapes.

In the process of escaping she comes across Kon, who isn't "finished" yet. He's alive and aged up to a teenager, but isn't quite done with his programming/whatever (this idea came to me based entirely off what I've gleaned through fandom so I don't know the canon of Kon's whole time with Cadmus). Elle immediately realizes "Oh clone baby, that's not good" and breaks him out and takes him with her.

Kon in this doesn't know he's a clone of Superman, he doesn't know a lot of things considering how early into the clone info-dumling process he was in when Elle broke him out. He barely knows language and how to read. What he does know for sure though is that Cadmus is Bad and Getting the Fuck Out is Good so he's down to go with Elle

Queue them becoming friends and being on the run together, learning about this world/dimension together and coming to see each other as family. Eventually they end up in Gotham because it's one of the places that naturally has a higher ectopalsm level and because if you're in the right area no one cares if you have no legal ID (in some circles it's a plus).

Kon gets a lot of odd jobs before eventually ending up working at a strip club or burlesque bar or something (my idea is that it's years after escaping so he's in his early 20s at this point and not just a fresh baby clone anymore and he gets into it because he likes it and it's good money) while Elle uses her ghostly knowledge/what powers she can to work as like a psychic or something like that.

Meanwhile Justice League (with alive again Superman) have found out about the escaped Superman clone and, along with Cadmus, are desperately trying to track him down. The info they have is a bit murky, so they think it's actually *two* clones, one that had Martian dnd also thrown in to the mix based off a short clip they managed to find of Elle phasing through walls.

My idea is that it'd all finally come to a head when Constantine pulls Tim (and maybe also Damian) in on a JL Dark case that involves the Lazerus Pit and for reasons ends up having to hire Elle to help. I'm thinking it's a thing that Elle is a pretty respected name in certain magic circles due to her expert knowledge on the Infinite Realms, though she refuses to work for most people who seek her out - even though the money would be good - because usually it's only evil assholes that want to hire her.

She makes a deal with Jon to help (in exchange for something that would let her get a message to Danny letting him know what happened or something like that) and Kon joins in because there's no way he's trusting a dude Elle calls the "drunk soul slut" with his baby sister unattended, he doesn't *care* if she could handle herself it's not happening.

Anyway, Tim/Kon (and maybe some Damian/Elle) shenanigans during a Lazerus Pit/demon hunting road trip where eventually everyone figures out who Kon & Elle are, Elle manages to get a stable portal setup so she can go home and come back whenever she wants (Kon getting adopted by Danny? Kon getting adopted by Danny) and Kon joining Young Justice and having a good relationship with Clark (who had a lot more time to deal with things before meeting Kon and learned about him as a person before learning he was Clark's clone).

Anyway there would be a scene at the end where Kon would be in his superhero suit for the first time and just:

Clark: Did you choose a hero name yet?

Kon: Yeah, I figured I'd go with Supernova.

Clark, feeling touched: Yeah? Any particular reason?

Kon: It's cool, it has 'Super' in the name, and really it just seemed the easiest option, I'm used to responding to Nova, so *shrugs*

Clark: Yeah? Why's that? Nickname?

Kon: I guess kinda? It's my stage name at the strip club I work at

Clark: what

Tim, brain shut down by this revelation: ...do you do private shows?

Clark: w h a t

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 45

part 1 | part 44 | ao3

Nancy, Jonathan, and some guy with the longest hair Steve's ever seen are standing in a loose circle with Eddie and his bandmates, talking and sort of dance-nodding along to The Power of Love by Huey Lewis (a fact that Steve absolutely intends to mock his boyfriend for the second he gets the chance), and Steve, like, mentally girds his loins.

He and Jon are cool with each other, and he and Eddie are obviously, uh, plenty warmed up to one another by now, but the rest of them...

One's a stranger, one's an ex who seems drunk as shit and is currently so invested in spinning around to the music that she hasn't opened her eyes to notice him, and the other three are thawing to him at a truly glacial pace. Steve hasn't so much as been invited to watch a rehearsal yet because Eddie's 'still working on them' and needs 'a bit more time, but don't worry, they'll come around.'

They don't openly scowl when he and Robin approach, though, so Steve takes that as a win.

"Harrington!" Eddie calls, bowing deeply to add, "Lady Buckley."

Steve would feel stung by the surname if not for how downright giddy Eddie sounds. God, he loves tipsy Eddie; fucking Disney cartoon boy.

"Munson," he plays along, giving him a sly grin and a shoulder bump as he sidles up next to him. "Didn't know you were allowed to leave the basement at these things."

Jeff interrupts his air-guitaring to glare at Steve, bur Eddie holds out a hand and assures him that Steve's just fucking around. Before Steve can apologize or defend himself, Long Hair Guy leans in across the circle, his eyes wide and intense and bloodshot to hell.

"Dude," he greets. "You have. Such beautiful hair."

Steve barks a laugh. Robin rolls her eyes. Jonathan also rolls his eyes, but it seems more fond and less annoyed. "Can't take you anywhere," he mutters to the guy, then asks them, "You guys met Argyle yet?"

Steve holds out a hand. Confusion washes over him as he processes what Jonathan just said. "Uh." Argyle. "Like the sweater?"

"Yeah, man," Argyle smiles, dopey and slow. Sure. The guy in head-to-toe tie-dye and a neon green fanny pack is named Argyle. Why not? "My parents wanted a sheep, but they got me, instead."

Jonathan laughs like it's the funniest joke he's ever heard. Steve's pretty sure he's too sober for this conversation.

They exchange handshakes, and Robin asks if she can touch the guy's hair, and they all slip into easy, friendly conversation, naturally splintering into smaller groups of twos and threes. Steve's just getting the rundown on all the 'sick new gear' the band got for Christmas when the song changes, and god, this night just could not get better.

"Oh, fuck off!" Eddie groans in the DJ's direction.

Steve has to practically swallow his lips to keep himself from cackling, and then he gives up and does it, anyway, because Eddie looks like he just sucked a lemon while watching a dog die as his bandmates all start sing-shouting along. "We're talking away..."

"No." Eddie wheels around and points a finger at Steve, because Steve's singing, too.

Steve just sings louder. "I don't know what, I'm to say!"

"Oh, my god." He scrubs a hand down his face, dragging the skin down until Steve can see the pale pink of his inner eyelid. "Nobody I know has any goddamn taste!"

"Maybe you don't have any taste!" Robin teases, bouncing around and swinging her arms haphazardly to the music.

Nancy backs her up with a mumbled "Yeah!" but she's still spinning around in such tight circles that Steve doubts she has a single clue what's happening in the argument right now. Which is kind of endearing, actually. He likes how willing she is to stick up for people.

The chorus kicks in; Gareth air-drums the switch to half time just before Frank does an honestly super impressive falsetto of 'in a day or twoooooo', and Eddie despairs while Steve laughs his fucking head off.

—

part 46

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[trappolia]

JONATHAN SIMS ── i have loved you for the last time

Sleep does not come easy to Jon anymore.

There is so much for the Archivist to consume and so little of what is actually him that is left. The hunger is a plague that takes on a non-linear narrative in the miserable plot of his life. It eats at the crevices of his mind from the inside out so he can think of nothing but everything and the absence in the space between all at once; then at his tongue, the flat of it dry and coarse (When was the last time he had drunk something to hydrate himself? Does he even still need it?), and his throat, so when he tries to speak, all that comes out is a weak croak. He thinks the hunger has taken root deep in his marrow as well── he feels it creeping in his bones, the rot spreading to his bloodstream slowly but surely.

You stir beside him, and Jon thinks: Alas, at least his heart is safe.

It had been a long time since his dreary heart was nestled in the weak cage of his ribs, beating feebly to sustain a body that, in truth, lives for very little. Jon does not know when or how, but somewhere along the lines since you'd slipped into his narrative through the margins of his hasty notes, he'd found that you had come into possession of his heart. The wicked thing was cradled in your hands like the most precious of treasures even as you slept by his side, squeezed into the little twin bed.

You inhabit the side closest to the wall, a fact which contents Jon── for all the horrors you have subjected yourself to by staying at his side, he will be there as the first line of defence. In a more mundane sense, you've crafted your home in a home within this little nook, curled up beside Jon's thin frame. He sees you now, illuminated by the painful white of his screen, and Jon feels sorry for potentially ruining your quality of sleep, but there is so much work── always work and no play for the Archivist son, damned as he is by whatever is going on in his institute. At the very least, he comforts himself, you will sleep better than he ever will.

Jon takes a deep breath, steeling himself; as if with a mere lift of his shoulders, he can resemble a man who, at the very least, seemed to have some idea of how he could get himself out of this hole he has found himself in, but if you had been awake, you could have easily seen the truth behind the facade, that of his discomfort and, and most damningly, the unsureness he held within himself, of himself. Despite this, he brushes his fingers over the curve of your cheekbone and leans close to press his dry lips against your temple, before going back to work── reminding himself every now and then of who he is doing this all for.

In spite of it all, his unsureness and his fondness for you, Jon does leave you in the end ── not for the lack of love, no; that love remains even when he changed, twisted into more than a simple avatar of the Eye instead of the man who had left you cold in your bed with his goodbyes written in ink on a parchment nearby. He understands, even in the end of all things, that he was selfish to have left you before things truly took a turn for the worst (though one could argue that it had already been set in motion the moment he picked up A Guest For Mister Spider)── there is selfishness even in the thought that he left while still human, that your final memory of him before he took an exit from your life was not the him that saved the world this version of you lived in, alone and betrayed and confused.

And when Jon begins to Know, he Knows that you never get rid of the belongings he'd left deserted about in your home, as though he has just recently left and is to certainly return any day now. He Knows that you never do stop waiting for him ── whether it is in the Fearscape you were trapped in or in the world thereafter, the world without your Jonathan Sims.

Life hereafter moves along, but for you, it feels as though it has paused in that singular moment that always passes, in another space and time, as though the clock in your living room will tick once again, and Jon will walk through your door as he always has. He Knows this, and he wishes he could tell you, but the last thing left of him in that world is the heart you don't realise you still possess, that you've never lost── Jon sits there and waits with you in that moment that will never come to pass, and you will never truly come to terms with the fact that the rest of him will never be able to come home to you again.

© trappolia 2024

[msbigredmachine]

WIP Wednesday - You Again (Roman Reigns/OC)

A/N: Thanks to @empressdede for the tag! I appreciate it! I know it's Thursday not Wednesday lol, sorry I'm late!

---------------------

His familiar scent reached her nose, triggering memories of the years he had tortured her in school. Fuck, he still smelled the same. She stiffened at the reminder, fighting her body's response to his closeness. She had very little room to move seated the way she was, but she tried to put a few inches between their bodies.

His hard chest. His big hands encircling her upper arms, holding her in place, trapping her against his body.

Her breath caught, torn between crying out for help and giving in to the heavy arousal that flooded her body. 

She felt his mouth close to her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "Evie," he breathed. Joe's low, raspy voice uttering her name set off flutters throughout her tummy and heat spread throughout her body. Her skin broke out into goosebumps and her nipples hardened into sharp little points. Despite her body's involuntary response, she held herself rigidly, staring straight ahead, giving no indication she'd heard anything.

Joe chuckled softly at her refusal to look at or acknowledge him. His warm breath tickled her ear and her hardened nipples chafed against the lace of her bra almost painfully. "I thought I was imagining things," he said in that velvety soft tone. "But no. I'd know that beautiful face anywhere.”

“Oh look, here comes the leader of N’Stink.” She rolled her eyes.

“Leader of what?” he laughed. She didn't see what was so funny.

“That was my name for you and the evil twins. Jon and Josh.”

“Who knew little Evie Ashton was so creative.”

“I’m not ‘Evie’ anymore. I go by Evelyn now. This ain’t high school anymore.” She dared to look up at him this time, and hated that he was as gorgeous as ever, and was still able to effortlessly awaken her body with just one look, just his proximity. It reminded her how, as a teen, she had been so confused and embarrassed by the way she simultaneously loathed him and desired him. She sucked in a breath as his lower body now flush against her. She let out a small gasp as she became aware of a sizable hardness prodding into her ass. His mouth was by her ear again. 

"This is the other reason I knew it was you." He rocked into her, letting her feel the length of his impressive erection. "All you had to do was come near me and you had me so hard I wanted to beg you just for a taste of your sweet pussy."

What? 

She did turn around this time, eyes wide. “What are you talking about?”

“You have no damn idea how much I wanted you, Evie.”

“You’re fuckin lying.”

He shook his head. “I'm not. You feel that, don’t you?”

She clenched her thighs together, feeling a rush of warmth between her legs at his words. She opened her mouth to tell him to get the fuck away from her, but all that came out was a whimper.

His hands moved from where they held her arms in place down to her hips. She glanced down, seeing his strong, tanned hands grasping her. Lust coursed through her, drugging her into docility. The same thing kept happening back in high school - even when she was furious at him, he'd affected her so strongly on a physical level that she felt almost drunk when she was around him. What was worse, he was the first and only boy who had turned her on like that without even lifting a finger. Not even Chuka, her fiancé, ever set her body on fire like this, despite his impressive attempts.

As a teenager, she would imagine, at night, alone in her bed, herself with Joe, what it might feel like, the heights he might take her to, if he actually tried to bed her…

Her fantasies didn't even come close to the electricity his touch sent jolting through her body.

She held herself still, barely managing to breathe, as his bulge seared into her bottom. She was flushed from head to toe, and as she squeezed her thighs together to relieve the ache there, she could feel herself gushing into her panties. Mindlessly, she pressed back into him just the smallest bit.

In response, his hands moved around to cup her ass, gently spreading her cheeks so he could nestle his iron-hard cock between them. She tried to remember that she hated this man, that he'd made her life miserable for three years, and she never even knew why. But her body had taken over, her aroused state freezing her in place.

Encouraged by her complacency, Joe ground into her, his steel length feeling like it was branding her through her short dress. She panted, air coming in short bursts, as she pressed back into his groin…

-------------------

This is not finished at all and just a little excerpt, I hope you like it! I will be posting a brand new Roman one-shot real soon so look out for that.

As usual, tagging everyone else: @jxtina-86 @wrestlingprincess80 @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @squishyguishy @jstarr86 @murrylove @thewarlordsworld @mzv11 @cozyaliensuperstar7 @nayys-world @hunnidmilly @cyberdejos2 @papireigns-05 @niknakbucks92 @captainwithoutmakingitlove @sovereigngoth @aisharmi @kennedi0818 @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @herwickedlittlesins @harmshake @questionable-behaviour @tribalchiefreigns @2-muchsauce @thatbxtchsblog @raya-hunter01 @marchi36753 @lovelysuccess @christinabae @wooahmiri @thatonecarebear @tabletheofhead @rheaanddamianfan @vebner37 @hanley1577 @princessesareforsuckers @-naturally @joannasteez @bbygirlky18 @lilucey @theninthwonder @melaninsugababy @chocovibesonly @msbluehaz3 @scarlettnoir01 @heerah34 @empressdede @tbmotw @darkangelchronicles @visionarymode @marasdeathnote @aintnorainbows @meggylynnloves @shantinextdoor @harlemblipster @trc-punzel @afterdarkprincess @nbanenefrmdao @sassginaswanmills @purplehairgawdess @holisticcoach @girlwhogaf @royalkay23 @heyitsnajabrinee @stoner2k @reci1996 @catxo @iamimanim @lookmais @ts1mp0ne @shonny09 @lizzyd1ish @gomussy @m3llowww @skyesthebomb @final1miya

[gunsandspaceships]

Did Tony really like to party?

We'll list every party we know Tony has attended in the MCU (including deleted scenes and What If? S2 E4, since that Tony is a copy of the main Tony from the MCU) and see what he was doing there.

MIT

When Tony was 17-18 he went to parties with other MIT students. Here's the main post, but I'll quote the MIT alumni again:

“I remember him at after-parties on Thayer Street. He was up later than anyone else. But you could always get a ride home with him, because he always had a car.”

“No one really knew him, he was just a rich kid. Everyone wanted him around, though, because he'd always bring something fun for the party.”

What he was doing there: entertaining others. Didn't really communicate with them, didn't drink, helped them get home.

Bern (New Year Eve, 1999)

Two questions: 1) Does he look drunk? 2) Does he willingly communicate with people other than Maya and Happy? My answer to both questions is no.

What he was doing there: separately from everyone else quietly communicated with Maya; avoided people except her, to help with this task took Happy with him; if it was not possible to avoid interactions, reduced them to a minimum; despite Yinsen's words from IM1 he didn't seem drunk, while people around were; happily left the party to spend time alone with Maya. Wearing sunglasses in darkened rooms at night.

Jet (on the way to Afghanistan, 2008)

What he was doing there: sprawled on the couch, sipping champagne and looking at his flight attendants, while drunken Rhodey tried to convince him that he's a good person. The party didn't last long - one of the flight attendants blindfolded him and took him to the bedroom.

Dubai (2008, alternative trip to Gulmira)

As you can see it was either a VERY fun party or not at all.

What he was doing there: creating an alibi for himself to fly to Gulmira to save people from the Ten Rings. Wearing sunglasses at night. Avoiding interactions, visibly uncomfortable with those he couldn't avoid. Left immediately with two girls ordered for conspiracy. Having reached the bedroom, left them and flew away on the mission.

P.S. He also asked a third girl to join them on the way to the bedroom, leaving the guy who was with her alone. I imagine that incident potentially could create another Marvel villain.

Charity Ball (IM1, 2008)

What he was doing there: showing the public and the board of directors that he's fine. Avoiding people, had unwanted interactions with Coulson and Christine just because they caught him. Basically ignoring Coulson, staring at Pepper. Drank a little. Enjoyed time only with Pepper: slow dancing with her, joking around, paying attention to her feelings and needs, asking if he makes her uncomfortable, and offering to go outside for some fresh air when she needs it. Together with Pepper, left for a secluded place on the balcony. Quietly talking to her there. Went to get drinks for Pepper without question when she felt the urge. Told Christine that he is feeling uncomfortable there. Actually showed signs of discomfort. Immediately left after talking with Stane.

Birthday Party (IM2)

Another super fun alibi party. This time to "pass" the armor to Rhodey and push everyone away from himself so that he can die alone and so that no one will mourn for him.

What he was doing there: acting. Pretending he is dead drunk and enjoying the party. Wearing sunglasses at night inside the house (in the deleted scene with Natasha). Destroyed the ice statue of himself. To Natasha's question "What about those people around?" said "That's why we are doing it. It's for them. It's my party, it's my friends. They like this sort of garbage". What kind of "friends" are these for him, you can find out from Jon Favreau himself here. Kicks everyone out of the house by yelling during the fight with Rhodey. Just lying exhausted in a destroyed house after everyone left.

Age Of Ultron Party

What he was doing there: greeted Rhodey and Sam. Spent some time in the small company of Thor, Maria Hill and Rhodes. Was quiet - listened and smiled more than he spoke. Drank a little, perhaps less than the others. Quietly played cards with the team after most people had left. Became active only at the stage of attempting to lift the hammer. Encouraged others to try.

To summarize: he was quiet and attentive overall. Was just hanging around his house like a stranger while people other than the Avengers were at a party. Seemingly felt more comfortable when most of the people left and he stayed with the team, just playing cards and drinking beer.

Indian wedding (Spider-Man Homecoming)

What he was doing there: Tony attended someone's wedding in India. Apparently he didn't know the language, so he couldn't communicate and kept away from other people. Looked busy with Peter and something else. Showed no interest in the event. Didn't really drink and left quickly.

Grandmaster's Birthday (What If?)

"I've put my party days behind me".

What he was doing there: Grandmaster forced Tony to stay to celebrate his birthday by threatening him with his Melt Stick. Tony settled on the couch away from the others and was not very pleased when the Grandmaster joined him. Showed no signs of enjoyment throughout the event. Just wanted to get home pronto. Chose to save the people first instead.

Victory Celebration with Val and Korg (What If?)

What he was doing there: enjoyed their little company, but thought about Pepper and Earth.

Conclusion:

As you can see, the common characteristics of all or most of his party visits, except those when he was in a small group of close friends, were:

avoidance of people

sunglasses (if available) when they don't make much sense except covering his eyes from others

focusing on quiet calm interactions with people he knows

leaving the parties at the first opportunity/running away from them

focus on entertaining others, not himself

no alcohol consumption or consumption in small quantities

showing signs of discomfort

looking and acting like he is out of place

At the same time, at quiet parties with a small group of close people, he seemed to feel more comfortable.

You can already draw your conclusion. Mine - he didn't like parties at all. He sometimes enjoyed spending time in the company of people he liked, and it had nothing to do with enjoying parties per se.

His own words here.

[stevesjockstrap]

During Pride Month

@stcreators event 09: Pride

@steddiesongfics June: Blondie - Heart of Glass

Steve/Eddie • rated T • mentioned Robin/Vickie and Argyle/Nancy/Jonathan • alcohol, getting together, idiots to lovers • read on ao3

It was a wonder Eddie even hung out with this group anymore, honestly. It was usually entertaining at the very least, but he was starting to question his life choices. Their normal bar had been hosting Pride month events, which wasn’t the issue, Robin had lead their team to victory during a trivia night and Eddie and Steve had won the Newlywed game last week. They hadn’t told him tonight was karaoke, though. The later it got, the more the bar had steadily filled up and the performers turned to either pretty decent singers or at least those who knew they were drunk and off key enough to encourage the heckling from their friends and the crowd.

Sinking into his buzz enough to consider staying now, he looked around their booth. Robin and Vickie were cuddled up in one corner and Nancy was sandwiched in between Argyle and Jonathan.

Steve always drove Eddie crazy on their nights out. Either utilizing his scary dog privileges when he didn’t want any attention, sitting under Eddie’s arm all night and dragging him to the dance floor to plaster himself to his front. Worse were the nights when he did want the attention, flitting enthusiastically between whoever struck his fancy around the bar. Robin would send him sly looks on those nights, knowing where Eddie would rather have him, but since they weren’t actually together Eddie couldn’t keep him on the stool next to his.

So when Steve disappeared, Eddie tried not to let it bother him and instead lined up the shots for the table, keeping his eyes down and making himself not search out the gorgeous mop of hair. To who was touching or looking at him.

Until the next song started and the amplified voice drew all their attention to the stage. The sassy walk across the stage to send their far table a look made Eddie gasp and Robin yell out. Jon chuckled from next to him.

“Once I had a love and it was a gas

Soon turned out had a heart of glass.”

Steve usually stuck to Springsteen, safe power ballads or dramatic duets with Robin when they felt extra goofy. Nothing like this. Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away from him, not looking at all at the screen for the words, putting much more emotion into the song.

Eddie clinked his shot quickly with his friends’ then tapped it on the table before finally breaking eye contact with Steve as he threw it back.

“What I find is pleasing and I’m feeling fine

Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind

If I fear I’m losing you it’s just no good

You teasing like you do.”

“Fuck,” he breathed as the alcohol burned its way down, Steve winked at him and one handedly pulled his shirt over his head revealing a tight tank top.

“Maybe this’ll finally get his attention,” Vickie stage whispered to Robin who quickly shushed her, both of them dissolving into hysterical laughter.

Eddie didn’t know what that meant, but immediately directed his gaze back to the crooning man on the stage.

“Once I had a love and it was a gas

Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass.”

“Hey, does he mean me?” Nancy huffed and Jonathan coughed into his beer, but Eddie ignored them, too.

Standing, he walked closer to the stage, getting a thrill as Steve’s eyes followed him as he sang, paying no attention to the other patrons who were definitely taking interest. Steve wouldn’t be leaving with anyone else tonight if he could help it.

As the last chords died out from the song, Steve couldn't hold back the smirk twitching on his lips watching Eddie approach the steps to the stage.

The polite clapping from the crowd crescendoed as he opened his arms for Steve and instead of taking the steps, jumped from the stage and wrapped his legs around Eddie. With a small ‘oof,’ he caught him around the waist and met his open mouthed kiss. The rest of the bar joined their table in their screaming but Eddie was focused on Steve.

“Took you dinguses long enough!” Robin screamed over the noise when they broke apart and Eddie had to kiss the somehow shy smile from his lips.

Maybe karaoke hadn’t been so bad after all.

Many thanks and kisses to @lawrencebshoggoth for like this entire prompt and song choice 😘🖤

Pride stars divider by @steddiecameraroll-graphics 🤩

[riddle-me-fear]

Jon let's be honest how much did you sleep last night? Also Ed how often does Jon fall asleep during his work?

[tw: nuclear explosives mentioned, topic of death/dying]

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Last night I- I... Last night...

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Go on. Tell them.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

I uuh... I wasn't blackout drunk, was I?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Fortunately not, that would have been much more of an inconvenience to me. ... You don't remember at all, do you?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Naah wait, I can... I should r'member if... When... What day wus it?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

It was Sunday, not that that's going to jump-start your memory. You've been at the lab the entire day, and far into the night.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

R-right I... I wus workin' on a new formula...

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Since I started to worry, I came looking for you. Didn't take very long, as I was certain where you'd be. You were knocked out cold - I actually checked if you still had a pulse, because you looked like a corpse, face-down, laying on top of your notes, spread all across the table. Also, absolutely nothing would wake you up. Somebody might as well have set off an atomic bomb in the middle of Gotham, you'd have slept right through it.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Aaww lookat'chew actually worryin' 'bout me. But wait, I remembah wakin' up in bed next to you, how'd ya get me home? I know ya can't lift anythin' fo' shit.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Ahah! How hilarious that is, coming from you. I've gained some muscle over the past year, mind you. I don't know how you do it, but despite being a literal skeleton, you're still heavier than me!

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Reckon' it's tha height.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Possibly. Well, anyway, Waylon helped me get you home. I almost felt bad for calling him so late, or early, you could say. Almost. You'll have to make it up to him at some point, because I definitely wouldn't have handled you with such care. He even bumped his head on the car - twice - when laying you down on the back seat and picking you back up once we arrived at home.. He even carried you up the stairs and set you down in the bed, I'd just have dropped you on the couch, or the floor even, you wouldn't have noticed the difference. And through all of that, you didn't even flinch - not once was there even the slightest chance of waking up.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Musta been real tired.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

You don't say. Hmm, I wonder why that could possibly be. How much sleep did you get the nights before that, Jonathan?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Ey! I slept at least six hours. On uuh... on Wednesday.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I do hope I don't have to tell the man with a literal PhD in psychology and chemistry what that does to your mind and body, or do I?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

I do kno', so ya can spare me the lecture. ... Wait, you said yesterday wus Sunday, but yesterday wus Monday, wusn't it?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Nonono, I told you which day it was that you dozed off at the lab. That was two days ago, as of the moment you awoke.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

... I slept fo' two whole days?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I don't see how that comes as a surprise to you, after you actively avoided sleep for around three days.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

... Fuuck...

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Well, that answers your first question. Unfortunately, dear anon, this happens more often than I would like - which is to say I would like this not to happen at all. However, I have to say, it doesn't happen nearly as frequently as it used to. Remember when you still worked at the University, or at Arkham? You practically lived in your office.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Well, it wus convenient! Don't 'ave ta pack everythin' up jus' ta head on home an' do tha same shit I can do at ma office. Jus' saved me sum time.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Time you should have used to sleep! You're not as young as you used to be, Jon! We both know you're not going to make it until 60, not if you keep going like this. I mean you already look 20 years older than your actual age.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Yer naht tha peak of health eitha, so shove it up yer ass, Ed!

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Ughh, you're worse than an infant sometimes. Can you at least try to be more responsible about your health? It's not that I care, really, I can live without you, obviously. I just... I'd personally find it preferable if you didn't. Die, I mean. I'd appreciate you living for at least a couple more centuries, if possible.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

...

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Jon?

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

I can't promise ya anythin'. ... But I'll try ma best.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

... Thank you...

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Afta all, It'd be dreadfully boring without me, I bet, you'd go nuts.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Oh absolutely, I would, one-hundred percent.

[sherlokiness]

Jon likes a princess

I'm gonna try to explain but I think the only legitimate anti jonsa argument I can accept that it will never happen because Sansa is not Jon's type and their ideals don't click. He doesn't like girls like Sansa of which I can't fault him for. Like Ned falling for Cersei or something like that.

All the other anti jonsa arguments can be blown off because they are hypocritical. No one bats an eye on aegony and jonrya so clearly, they think Jon is fully capable of jumping the incest hurdle. But when you mention jonsa they go "oh that's incest" which comes back to the hypocritical part. It's accepted that Jon will marry his auntie by relying on Jonnel/Sansa precedent to get rid of the incest label but when jonsas raise an eyebrow it can never be? Are they hearing themselves? Why can Jon jump the incest hurdle for Dany/Arya but not Sansa?

She is not a princess. "As you wish, Your Grace."

Jon sighed. He was weary of explaining that Val was no true princess.

Val is no princess, though. I told him that half a hundred times.

She may not be a princess, but she would make a worthy wife for any lord.

I think we can establish what Jon thinks of Val's princess status and that he doesn't consider her as one. Why the turn around? Well, it was when he was thinking that if she were one, he decided she'd be a warrior princess.

Why not? thought Jon. They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

We're focusing too much on warrior part. Why the need to suddenly elevate Val's status despite vehemently denying it before? It's like when he's thinking of his mother, she has to be beautiful and high born and not a whore. So he does like princesses but not the damsels in the tower.

This is an allusion to Sansa and the only one who perfectly checks all mark in the text. And if we're gonna admit this princess in a tower is Sansa then I've got bad news because there is another princess in a tower in the story - Arianne. She has been unlucky in love multiple times but we later find out that it was designed that way by her father bc she has been promised from the start- to a dragon/Targaryen concerning a secret pact. 🫢🫢🫢

Why would Jon say he prefers the fake princess Val over Sansa? It's not as if those ladies would want to be rescued by a bastard like him. It was never an option. If you get into community college, do you need to say I hate Harvard anyway?

Florent's face grew flushed with anger. "So it is true. You mean to keep her for yourself, I see it now. The bastard wants his father's seat."

The bastard refused his father's seat. If the bastard had wanted Val, all he had to do was ask for her.

Val, the warrior princess, was within his reach. So Jon is just being a sour grapes. Then there's Dany being at odds with winesellers and Sansa saving a drunk man from a tyrant.

And if want to dig deeper, the story concerns a hungry fox. What is Jon's deepest wish?

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade.

Jon wants a son and Winterfell. There's the Val/Sansa contrast again because he could have satisfied his hunger but he didn't because of the appearance of Ghost/Sansa.

1) Sansa is an actual princess and not a fake. She's not some relative of the one who married the King.

2) Was locked in the highest tower of Maegor's Holdfast by Cersei and the Eyrie by LF

3) Brushing her hair while waiting for her knight

Had Joffrey found out about her meetings with Ser Dontos? Please no, she thought as she brushed out her hair. Ser Dontos was her only hope.

It's really hard that the only reasonable anti jonsa argument I could accept was written with bullet points concerning Sansa. Like GRRM won't let me win.🫤

[juju-or-anya]

A character I deeply hate in *Game of Thrones* and *A Song of Ice and Fire* isn’t Daenerys, nor Cersei, nor even Sansa (and that’s saying something, as she annoys me quite a bit). No, the character I truly despise is Robert Baratheon.

Robert embodies all the traits that make me think: "I hate men" or "Men disgust me." His entire personality revolves around being a womaniser, a drunk, an overweight man obsessed with the ghost of a dead woman. Lyanna Stark has been in her grave for nearly twenty years, and she still can’t rest in peace because of his sick fixation.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. While Robert wasn’t the mastermind of the Rebellion, he was certainly the one who fuelled it. He didn’t do it for the good of the realm or out of any sense of justice; he did it because he couldn’t accept that maybe Lyanna didn’t want to marry him. She preferred to be another man’s lover rather than his wife, and instead of accepting that, he unleashed a war. Lyanna, though raised as a noble lady of the North, had a will of iron and wouldn’t have allowed herself to be kidnapped without a fight (not that she really had a chance to avoid it—after all, she was a fifteen or sixteen-year-old girl facing Rhaegar, a twenty-four-year-old trained warrior—but I think you get my point).

And let’s not even talk about his reaction to the murder and rape of Elia Martell and her children. Robert laughed cruelly when he heard that innocent children, some barely toddlers, had been brutally killed and celebrated that a helpless woman had been raped and murdered. He was happy about it.

Of course, I’m not idealising characters like Lyanna, Elia, or Rhaegar. We can’t sanctify or demonise them because we don’t truly know them. Everything we know about them is filtered through the perspectives of others, some positive, some negative. They’re “told” characters, like Lily and James Potter in Harry Potter, whose backstories depend entirely on others’ memories. But who do we actually know enough about? Robert Baratheon. We know he’s the kind of man who would order the murder of a pregnant girl across the sea—a girl who’d already lost her family and home because of his rebellion. Robert did all this, not because Aerys was a tyrant, but because he was obsessed with the memory of a woman who never loved him.

As for his supposed "love" for Lyanna, he never showed any intention of respecting her, being faithful to her, or actually loving her. He was only in love with the idea of having a beautiful, strong, wild wife he could mould and subdue to his will. Before he was even engaged to Lyanna, he’d already fathered a bastard daughter; and only a few weeks after her death, he had Gendry. So much for his “great” love for Lyanna—he was already fathering children with other women within weeks.

What’s worse is that half the story seems determined to paint him as "the good guy." Give me a break. The realm didn’t entirely collapse during his reign only because of Tywin Lannister’s ambition and the competence of the royal council, who worked tirelessly to maintain stability. None of this was thanks to Robert Baratheon, who barely managed his responsibilities while the realm barely kept itself afloat despite him.

For all these reasons and more, I deeply hate Robert Baratheon.

Edit: I'll stand corrected, because a comment corrected me and they's right. The real hero who kept King Landing stable enough for there to still be a King Landing was Jon Arryn, that man deserved a raise and the biggest statue in the world, as well as putting up with his idiot king.

Edit 2: Re-reading my post, I realized that I made a somewhat fatphobic comment when I talked about Robert's physique and if anyone feels hurt, I truly apologize. I will not delete it, because it will be evident and give me a reason to improve, we are in constant deconstruction and I do not want to delete something bad that I could have said and pretend it never happened, how will I learn if I do that?

[devine-fem]

What about Jondami's marrige? 😏 What do you think happens? Their families reaction?

I love the idea of Jon showing up at Wayne Manor and being so formal with Bruce with all the “Mr. Wayne” and “yes, sir” he can throw in and being so timid because he HAS to get this blessing in order for everything to be perfect because Damian “deserves no less” and poor Bruce has his arms crossed and is torturing this poor guy, being as vague as possible and throwing him through multiple loops to test Jon and if he’s actually worthy of Damian but more selfishly it’s all because he wants to feel secure in their relationship. Jon is SWEATING… he takes everything Bruce is saying dead serious and he’s being gaslit to hell like a drill sergeant… he does eventually get that blessing and a heart to heart with Bruce.

Talia is actually quite easy because she’s materialistic and selfishly I like to think that even adult Jon would be mature enough to get along with Talia or at least try because they’ll be in laws and so Talia tells Jon what sort of proper ring he should get Damian and what he’s to do if he wants them to have a fortunate and healthy marriage but he eventually gets a heart to heart with her as well, making him promise that he’d do whatever it takes to keep Damian safe and happy.

THEN when he actually does propose its infront of so many heroes and Damian is freaking out but more at the fact that he’s internally panicking about the fact that someone is actively trying to marry him and he’s begging Jon to stop embarrassing him but Jon is just continuing to go on and on about how happy he’s been with Damian. The batboys are freaking out to the point they are almost as stressed at him, the girls are gawking and clark’s wishing he had his phone.

Damian says “Yes, jeez! If that’ll make you stop this!” and so they’re engaged.

but also, there’s angst because they’d be the only two in the family that has successfully gotten married and Damian would be terrified of this and really in his head about the whole concept of marriage and the fact that… he’s really committed to this whole “life partner” thing…

Jon’s stressed out to the point he almost builds the wedding venue himself because he needs everything to be perfect but clarks there for him.

Conner is Jon’s best man and Dick is Damian’s. Steph and Kara as flower girls and when I tell you that this wedding venue would be AWESOME! it’d be so cultural and visually stimulating and don’t even let me get into how I could go on and on about how their wedding suits could match their cultures as Al Ghul and kryptonian.

anyway, dick’s sharing all their couple fights and all the embarrassing parts of their relationship that they confided in him once he gets a mic in his hand, jason doesnt expect it but he cries with dick. tim is shit faced drunk and clark and bruce are cracking as many in law jokes as they possibly can.

now imagine the most domestic husbands ever. these two are the most embarrassing and annoying married couple you will ever meet but they also dance in their kitchen to absolutely no music and cook each other breakfast in the morning every day so its not all going to be bad.

[sinsinsininning]

A little bit softer

Chapter 6

Eustass Kid x crewmate!fem!Reader

TW: drinking, gambling, swearing

A/N: this one is really short bc I’m a little run down from life rn. Next one will be a bit spicier

Also I have no idea why I kept Jon around this long, he’s a very generic looking guy, I picture him as the sorta boring hot a lot of people get away with.

—————

The bar is loud.

You slow down on the drinks before departing from Kid, your stool quickly taken up by a pretty lady who draped herself over him. He didn’t bother to shake her off, she’d run off eventually, he was still in a foul mood.

Hip and House were in a booth in the far corner, watching Quincy and Pomp dance to the heavy music. You slip in beside them, leaning against Hip as your lack of sleep and booze caught up with you. House laughs, sharp and high like a fox.

“You look fucked.” She giggles, you swat at her across the table, but the blow was half hearted. Hip pulls you back to lean on her again.

“Maybe you should head home?” She suggests. “It’s not that late, you could catch up on some sleep.”

“Nah, I’m beat but I’m still…” You trail off, tapping your fingers against the table. You didn’t know what it was but it’s like you were wired. Maybe it was the drinks or the bartender’s flirting.

Or Kid calling you pretty. Plenty pretty at that.

You decide it must be the booze and the bartender. House rakes her eyes up and down you, grinning.

“You look antsy, got something on your mind?” She teases.

“Yeah, I’m feeling kinda,” You glance at the bar, hoping to catch sight of Jon. “I think I’m gonna try to fuck the bartender.” You finally announce, Hip spits her drink out, you flinch away from the spray.

“What the fuck?” She shouts, wiping her mouth, eyes wide. House is cackling across from you, worse yet all the noise attracts Quincy and Pomp back to the table. You flush under the attention. “Why the fuck would you fuck him?”

“Wait! Who’s she fucking?” Quincy raises her hand and waves it.

“Yeah, I’m lost.” Pomp chimes in, you smack his arm and try to push him out of the booth.

“The bartender!” Hip shouts.

“Why is it so shocking? He’s hot and he was flirting with me! I just have to ask him and it’ll be fine!” You were drunk, no doubt, because you would never talk about this sober.

No matter how much you flirted and joked, there was always a line of seriousness and you never went over it. Until now.

“You’ve got so many options though!” Hip whines. “Your outta his league.” You shook your head and glare at her.

“That’s what Kid said!” You gesture towards the bar again. “Like am I blind? The guy is hot. You’re all blind.” The group bursts into giggles as House finally stops laughing.

“Wait Kid said what?” She asks, smacking Quincy’s arm to shut her up.

“I said that I thought the bartender was cute and he said I’m too pretty for him, or something like that.” You slur out the words like it was obvious.

“Kid called you pretty?” Hip gasped, you stare at her and nod once, the motion made your head swim. “Oh shit! Pay up bitches!!!” You swing your head around the table as everyone begrudgingly hands over a few Berries to the smiling blonde.

“Wha-What’s happenin’?” You hiccup. House is laughing again and you try to kick her but miss and stub your toe hard. “Fuck!”

“Nothing!” Hip answers quickly. “Sooooo you think the bartenders cute?” She half stands up so she can see him better, he sees her and starts to come over, assuming she wants to order.

“Oh fuck,” Pomp whisper shouts. “We gotta get rid of him.” You nudge him again.

“Why?”

“No reason!” Hip pulls you back to her as Jon arrives at the table, he smiles widely at you and you wave back.

“You guys need another round?” He asks.

“Yes! Another round of beer please!” House shouts, louder than she actually needs to, a nervous smile on her face. Jon glances at you once more.

“What about you, gorgeous? Beer or a refill of your rum and coke?” He’s only focused on you, it makes you flush, the attention is nice.

“Beers fine-”

“She taken!” Quincy shouts, then covers her mouth.

“Oh?”

“No I’m not. What?” You mind is slow to catch up, scrunching your face at her. Jon laughs a little and shifts on his feet.

“She definitely is!” House adds in.

“Yeah? Is it the angry redhead at the counter?” He grins at you.

“Kid? No he’s my-”

“Yup! That’s him!” Pomp is the one who cuts you off this time. Jon keeps grinning at your confused face, like he was in on a joke about you. You frowned harder now.

“That makes sense, he was pretty insistent on paying for your drinks earlier.” He whistled lowly, you can barely hear it. “Surprised he hasn’t decked me yet.”

“Wait he paid for your drinks?” House asks, eyes wide, you nod slowly still confused. “When?”

“Uh earlier?”

“Before or after he called you pretty?”

“Before?”

House and Quincy let out a whoop, high fiving each other. Hip grumbles as she fished out the Berries they’d just given her back out and to their outstretched palms. The pair cheer again and split the cash.

“Well lemme go grab those drinks. Be right back.” Jon says as he’s waking away. You stare after him while your group congratulate each other.

“Why’d you say I’m taken?” You ask the table.

“Well… just to protect you, ya know?” House says.

“You’re drunk and we don’t want him creeping on you.” Hip rubs your back and you glare at her. Sure you’re drunk but not nearly as much as they normally get, you’ve seen all of them run off with someone blitzed out of their mind before. Why’d it be any different for you?

“I wanted to fuck him even when I was sober though.” You say, but the group pretends not to hear you as Jon returns. He places your drink last, giving you one last wink before leaving.

You get up after him, stepping over Pomp who tries to block you, but you push past him. It takes you two steps to catch up with Jon, you grab him arm to twist him around.

“Hey!” You flinch at your own shout, not meaning to be so loud. He’s lost the flirty smirk, his face neutral. “I’m not taken and I- I am interested.”

“You sure?” He asks unconvinced, but his eyes are lit up now. “You’re friends seem pretty sure you’re not.”

“I don’t know why they did that. I’m not with Kid or anyone else.” You state firmly, you don’t really want to ask him to bed outright, but at least you can clarify your status.

“I get it,” He chuckles and you move a little closer to hear him. “They’re looking out for you. But I’m 93% sure they’re rooting for you and the grumpy guy.” He gestures subtly behind you, though you’re anything but as you whip your head to look. Kid is watching with hard eyes, a look he usual reserved for when a fight is about to break out. The pretty lady from earlier is still there, leaning over him.

You laugh when you turn back to him, shaking your head slowly at his behavior. He’s got a hottie for the night, why couldn’t you get your own?

“I don’t know why they’re like this.” You sigh. “But like I said, I’m interested if you are.” That was as outright as you could say it, red cheeks betraying your embarrassment.

“My shift is over at 1. Clear your head and if you’re still around, I’ll come to you.” He offers and you’re a little grateful you have some time to sober up.

“1 o’clock. Gotcha!” You’re grinning back at him now. He nods and turns to go back to work, then pauses to look back at you with a grin.

“Oh and just so you’re aware. I’m pretty sure your friends are betting on your love life.” He throws out then strides off, you almost laugh. Instead you turn back to your group, they’re all watching, tense and ready to pounce.

“Stop betting on me!” You shout as you return, smack each one on the head as you sit.

[suzukiblu]

I wanted to write something self-indulgent and decided to use that power to also make @miri-tiazan happy by adding to the wet nurse omegaverse. ❤️

"A wet nurse, Father, really?" Damian asks, looking unimpressed. The League of Assassins isn't much for hired wet nurses, Bruce knows–not even loyal servants, but especially not unknown outsiders. If a pup isn't getting nursed by a worthy packmate, then that pup isn't particularly valued or expected to grow up to be of much use to either Ra's or the League. Or grow up at all, in most cases.

And Damian has been dubious about Lor since the day he showed up, unsurprisingly, but also seems to have lumped him in under the same reaction he'd probably have had to Jon having gotten a new pet, so it could be worse, really. Damian typically likes pets, for one thing, so the idea of Lor being nursed by a servant has been less than ideal to him. Bruce will take that over Damian hating the pup any day.

"We did talk about it at breakfast," he reminds him. Damian looks no less unimpressed.

"Yes, and I assumed you would come to your senses and summon Todd back to the manor," he retorts disdainfully. "Not employ the first poorly-dressed stray you picked up off the street simply for lack of the last one you did."

"He's dressed fine, Damian," Tim says, scowling at him.

"Just don't diss the jacket, brat," Carl says with an easy shrug, otherwise ignoring Damian and just peering at Jon curiously. Bruce doesn't comment on the obvious transgression of an unrelated omega insulting one of his pups, given that said pup started it and also he doesn't expect Carl to have traditional pack manners at this point anyway. "Did you want some?"

"Huh?" Jon says, blinking at him.

"Like a snack or whatever," Carl clarifies, adjusting his grip on Lor. "Kiddo's drunk me pretty dry, but I think he's about done for now, so like, if you want any . . ."

Right, Bruce thinks, just barely raising an eyebrow as Travers looks speechlessly mortified. Well, further total lack of pack manners in Carl proven. He didn't even ask Clark before offering that.

"Oh," Jon says, looking a little flustered and not looking at Clark. "Um–but you're here for Chris."

"Yeah, so?" Carl says with a shrug. "I get milked up real quick, I'll have plenty more for him later. Not like I've got anyone else to feed right now anyway, they cleared my whole client list for this."

Bruce narrows his eyes. A client list? How much milk is Carl producing, to have a full list of clients? There's no way an omega his age who isn't on lactation stimulants should have enough milk for multiple clients.

Unless he very, very recently lost a full litter, anyway. That's the only reason Bruce can think of that he'd have that much milk.

Hell. And the agency just sent him out this soon?

Well, it would explain Carl claiming to be disinterested in pups and preferring to pump over doing direct nursing, but also explain the immediate triggering of a feral bond like that when actually directly faced with a distressed pup in need of something he had to offer. And Jon is Lor's brother now, so it's not a surprise that Carl would offer him his milk too. He's got to be sensing some of Lor's developing pack bonds, even a step removed from them; he's probably getting some attachment spillover.

Good sign for how Lor's new bonds are settling in, at least, Bruce supposes.

"Um . . ." Jon says, and keeps not looking at Clark. Bruce carefully doesn't think about exactly how long it's been since the kid had to go cold-turkey weaning on omega milk, mostly because of the circumstances around said weaning.

And Clark . . .

Clark's jaw tightens, just briefly, and then he smiles.

"It's alright if you'd like to, Jon," he says reassuringly, and Jon is a perceptive enough kid to look uncertain about the validity of that statement, but also clearly does want to at least try Carl's milk. Which, well, he did mention Carl smelling good to him. That's probably a good sign too, really, since Jon's got Kryptonian blood himself. Bodes well for Lor's tolerance for Carl's milk if the only other available Kryptonian pup likes the scent of it, hopefully.

But also, Bruce does know the last time Jon nursed it was from Clark, and it didn't end well.