#if i watch it ill be up all night
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was watching apocalypse with my brother and once the cerebro scene popped up he was like 'charles has a helmet like erik, only instead of keeping people out, he tries to reach out and connect with others' like guys i need to bash him with a rock
#xmen#xmen apocalypse#xmen movies#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#is this cherik. probably#snap chats#GENUINELY what is his deal#'snap i thought you were watching x2' and i finished it and then my bro came up so i decided to rewatch apocalypse while he was here#hello chat. im aware the people enjoy my brother's quotes so here i am sharing another as it has damaged my brain#GUYS I HATE MY BROTHER WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THIS SHIT BEFORE I CAN THINK IT#so real tho ..... also i may be drunk so maybe im more emotional about this revelation than i should be but still#basic observation im aware but still ... doesnt become less wack when you say it out loud ....#thats so fucked ... i mean 'people' being charles but still ... why would you say that#i still have some of my whiskey left so im gonna pound it and then drink some water and probably cry myself to sleep#or ill doodle a sketch idk. im inspired.#for now good night !!!!!!!!!!!!! all my brother does is accidentally inflict psychic damage upon me#AGAIN you never expect it from your brother but thats what makes it esp whiplash inducing .......
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Honestly it would be funny if bad reset himself to get rid of the radition and potentially whatever is turning him blue (I don't know if he can he only mentioned the radiation) while no one else gets memory wiped. Then when they all come back and he remembers nothing everyone is so fucking confused about why he was because he wasn't when they first arrived. But the two other demons know what's going on and have a side convo about why he would (I don't remember if they know about the radiation) and Mouse has to explain alone that it was Bad's choice and a demon thing which would probably confuse everyone even more while Tina stands beside Bagi and Em, worried for her guard dog.
I want him to do it just to see other people's reactions honestly.
#im just begging for demon lore#and i want them all to be connected#this is probably the closest we'd get to tina demon lore#i want to know whether shes fallen or born demon at least#on my knees begging tina for the tinest smidgen of lore this year#i want to know if any ccs would go for another mind wipe to erase their cubito's trauma#it would probably not be anyone who has lore or far into it and erase all that progress#i cant wait for saturday to see what happens#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp tina#qsmp ironmouse#qsmp demons#unfortuantly ill be back at uni so i cant stay up till 4am anymore watching bbh streams when hes babysitting or pulling pranks#or be awake when tina inevitably gets on at stupid'o'clock at night for me#though if she continues doing midnight pst streams she'll start when i wake up at 8am for my morning classes probably
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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i am still thinking about ashton choosing to drop their rage and going right to prism to gently pull her away and turn her around as the group decided what to do with bor'dor. i love his instinctive protectiveness and how often he stresses how gentle he is with friends.
#i feel bad that i didn't say anything thursday night because i immediately clocked it and was thinking about it all weekend#and people have probably talked about this side of them at more length and just better than me so ill leave it to them but#like they had quite literally just come down from a rage and was still slow and careful with a very worked up prism#and it was one of my favorite moments of the episode if not my favorite#k watches cr3#c3e63#cr spoilers#critical role#bell's hells
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their dinamic is messy but caring but idfa about you all at same time it makes me want to explode i want to see more of them siu pls
#myart#tower of god#kami no tou#karaka#wangnan#wangnan ja#fanart#illustration#artists on tumblr#wheres my dad he was supposed pick me up 40 minutes ago IM STARVING !!???#living in a big city is shit cos theres traffic jam wherever you go i hate cities#anyway i came up with an idea for a one shot i hope ill be able to put my ideas properly and not mess up things#but its not a complrx story so itll be fine#last night i was daydreaming with me explaining my first bug ass story it truly was my one piece not other story was that complex#my dad just called me he will pick me up in anpther 30-40 minutes HELP GOD NOOOOO im actually starvjng and uuum theres a cafeteria next to#me but that brand is expensive as fuck it is good but really expensive and aint way i will spend that much money#stay tuned if you want to know how my journey to feed myself ends like#i love talking as if it were actual people expecting what i gotta say no single mf is fan mine#i love wangnan so much i could kms#hello its me from the future. so i eat lne of the most silly but yummy food ever#bought the 1st vinland saga volume nad watched look back ALL IN THE SAME DAY how cool is that mmm??????? i love living (just for today)#i miss having a job because id have a weekly income and spend half of it but recover next week and yarayara I MISS HAVING INFINITE MONEY
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(from this video)
#not a confession#helluva boss#the fact that they even mentioned Chaz just made me screech mentally#because... you know. if you've read my oneshot you know#but yes exactly. I also tie back to him the fact that Millie was so serious and untrusting during the flashback#(to be fair. being a mercenary is cutthroat business. but even while fighting and killing she seems a lot goofier nowadays)#how the timeline works in my head is#affair in Wrath. Chaz bounces to another ring and breaks her heart. she stays home for a while after that before moving to the city in Prid#she could've had her walls up out of a sense that the city slickers would only betray her#Chillie seems significant to me bc we've SEEN just how MUCH it takes for Millie to snap when it comes to loved ones and their bullshit#let alone turn from loving affection to seething murderous hatred#so you KNOW that whatever happened between her and Chaz WOUNDED her. or at least offended in a huge way idk#someone on AO3 wrote it so he cheated on her with her sister. like yeah that could do the job alright#though that does imply she loved him which is easily the biggest plot hole here. like. look at that thing#what is there to love#about Chazwick Thurman#he's an embarrassing roach with a dick complex#(also my girl Sallie would never have standards that low. please. she's also a lesbian now but that's another thing)#tbf Chaz and Blitzo are quite similar... except Blitzo has way less shallow writing... I wonder if that could be explored#her currently being so close to someone who is in theory strongly reminiscent of her ex. putting up with so much from him too#ah but I shan't keep talking Chillie. we'd be here all night if I tried to explain all my mental lore#isn't it funny how I've thought so much about them despite despising S02e03 and becoming physically ill by Chaz's sceentime#on my first watch#and then never watching it again#it's just the Concept of him alright. like shared ex of M&M who's a conman a loser a former mafia goon & whores himself to survive#who are you and how did you get here#plus the fact that he's a shark bc sharks are so cool. did you know threshers harm and even kill prey by whipping them with their tails#wish we could've seen that#I love it when anthros have their animal traits acknowledged#wow the tags here really derailed from the original screenshot. ignore them please 🙏
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#gonna do a little throwback and vent a bit here lmao#I may have pushed myself a lil far by doing a couple impact scenes and then wandering thru a bunch of crowds to watch the fireworks 💀#felt incredible on sunday night had a bad panic attack last night and haven’t been right today I just feel so down and strange#idk if it’s cause we got to discussing trauma and mental illness or if I’m just a lil depressed but I’m in a very pre-medication headspace#and then I rly feel bad cause he walked me home so he was out later than me and then soon after he got home there was a shooting near where#we were. and he’s the one who gets nervous about being out at night I’m always flippant about it#n I feel stupid and careless keeping him out so late just making sure I was alright#idk idk. hoping this is all part of coming off all that adrenaline and I’ll be normal in a couple days#I didn’t anticipate it at all cause the pain was pretty light. but it was all insanely good so maybe it’s more about how high up you get lol#idk! advice welcome if you’ve had a similar experience hdjfjsj
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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Okay, random headcannon and lore tid bit for the people on my space ship:
Tony is afraid of dinosaurs. One of the biggest reasons behind this is that when the "experiments" were happening, he accidentally traveled way too far back in time and witnessed a T-Rex in person, towering over him. It took her a bit to figure out how the whole time travel thing worked and swore she'd never step foot into the Cretaceous, or any time with dinosaurs, again. It's a shame Colin is a dino nerd(in my cannon), huh?
So this means Tony probably has a deathly fear of Barney the Dinosaur(this is for the funnies, but it makes sense, trust)
Also, I'm making a dinosaur oc, so I fear Tony's gotta figure out how to deal with those creatures again.
#before you ask im not really sure what the “experiments” are in the first place#all i know is that all the teachers were human at some point before becoming these humanized objects#i kinda wanna bombard my blog with random bits of information from my au due to the point i have no idea how to start a fanfic :[#thats fine tho#if i look back in my blog i can look back at the stuff ive said to see what ive kept and what ive ret-coned(i think thats how you spell it)#i like to think that at movie night when they watch any dinosaur related movies tony has to sit out#ill figure out something to help with her fear#maybe I'll have him eat dino nuggets or something as a way to “destroy” the dinosaurs#i dont know man i like dinosaurs and i think this makes sense in my mind#dhmis#dont hug me im scared#dont hug me im scared au#dhmis au#dhmis tony#dhmis tony the clock#dhmis tony the talking clock#tony the talking clock#dhmis clock#dhmis headcanons#I'll come up with a name for my au soon#i was thinking of just the “apologetic” au mainly because my name on here but it kinda makes sense when i get a chance to talk about all my#-built up lore so far#apologetically rambling#shout out to my brain at night coming up for this headcannon as well as my lore and other headcannons
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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I'm crying and throwing up and asking where my phone is
#jane journals#self insert talk#crush: 🗡#UOOOOORRGGHGHHHH ITS SO JOVER#ive been talking to laura about it and reading up more about what happens and stuff with wyll and the story in general#and ofc i watched my friend play a bit last night who graciously went almost straight to wyll for me#AND FUCKING I DIDNT MENTION BEFORE#WHEN U FIRST INTERACT WITH HIM PROPERLY HES TEACHING A TIEFLING CHILD TO FIGHT#and hes soooooooo sweet about it 😭😭😭💖💖💖#you guys know my weakness is kids and how characters interact with them and wyll canonically wants them one day#so you know IM FUCKED#and hes so!! UGH CUTE 💖💖💖💖#hes always saying these poetic romantic things and he wants a proper old fashioned romance with the wooing and the courting#he calls his lover his LIGHT LIKE CMON MANNNN#IM TRYING TO LIVE#tbh the only thing stopping me aside from not having the game is deciding what species to be#my indecisive ass#thats another thing i was talking to laura about and she suggested making a backstory first/choosing a class and all that THEN deciding#im probably gonna go with my default which would be a rogue which is pretty atypical for my s/is but its what i lean toward in dnd#or idk maybe i SHOULD go more out of my comfort zone 🤔🤔 idk ill keep thinking about it#but for wyll's kiss animations WHEN THE PLAYER IS A HALFLING OR SMTH SHORT HE KNEELS DOWN TO KISS THEM UGGGHH 😫😫😫💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘
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Woo hello 🎬!! I kept all of your ask here -- I put it like this for my own easy scrolling, but no way am I cutting any of this, it's so perfect AH
Oughhhhgh Haruka getting more confident from hanging out with everyone and getting such positive feedback… I’d imagine the back to back innocent verdict and night of compliments would do wonders for his psyche ;-; And same for Muu and Amane! Minus the inno verdict, but the sudden influx of explicit compliments and acknowledgement of “hey, that was fucked up what they did to you, okay?” I wonder if there’s any awkwardness since After Pain directly follows Bring it On, but I like to imagine Fuuta and Muu have a deeper talk about things in private (and maybe Muu hesitantly mentions her involvement with Rei in preparation for INMF…)
Damn, who’s going to give the sex talk to the kids after Yuno’s vide-- Shidou. Sidou does. Without hesitation. They have to stop him because no one wants to hear it and everyone there already understands the basics.I love the idea of she, Mahiru, Muu, and designer Mikoto chatting about everyone’s fashion sense (I can imagine them poking fun at Fuuta’s tracksuit and Shidou’s patterned shirts.) And planning shopping trips that include everyone!!! Amane and Kotoko are given no choice in the matter, and a lot of the guys are genuinely interested in coming along.
Awww, I love the thought of Haruka getting into a “boy” interest with Fuuta and Mikoto -- he never knew what it was like to have brothers but he’s really enjoying it <3 (Also I’m cracking up over Fuuta trying desperately to convince them “it’s not cringe!!!”)
ASDFSDF Mappi just straight up sobbing and Mikoto handing her tissues 😂 But yes, she also gets choked up during Magic and Amane can’t figure out why. This begins the adults’ efforts to get her out of whatever situation she’s currently in (which Jackalope was already half-working on, but is definitely spurred on by several angry almost-murderers demanding he get it done now.)
I do like that idea of Red more comfortable with showing skin than Blue. (I know people are very emotional about the stalker theory, but I personally never took it in a harmful way. I always enjoyed how it was a symbol of stripping away everything else until you’re left with your true, whole self.) So I like to think that Blue feels too exposed, but Red/Green are the ones who pitched it in a symbolic sense!
I’m losing my mind at Kotoko/Kazui/Red talking about sparring. Everyone else is like “hell yeah, let’s see it!” and Shidou just sitting there like “you all are going to be the death of me. You are NOT fighting.” Because I really want to think about it happening, I’ll say they manage to sneak away at least once and nearly break a prop in the process, to which even Jackalope shuts them down.
I think they all manage to get pretty serious again by the time T2 rolls around, but the hiatus is filled with a lot of sweet moments and healing conversations between everyone. Also, making so many plans for the future helps keep them sane when some of the project immersion gets a bit too real. Whenever they start realizing they might be condemned for their actions and worried that they’re too broken/they’re life is ruined, they come back to those plans and relax a bit.
Absolutely no pressure, but I would love to hear your T2 thoughts! 👀👀👀 I’m so incredibly grateful you’ve taken the time to share your ideas -- from the very beginning this au has been a big collaboration, so it’s super fun bouncing ideas around :D
#milgram#ft everyone!#i really love all of these ;---;#thank you so much!! ive been enjoying these so much and im sure everyone else is as well#i keep swinging drastically from torturing myself by thinking deeply about upcoming angst#and then healing myself thinking of everyone chillin in this au sdfsdfa#pretty soon ill write up a post with little details ive had in mind here and there 👍👍#i just havent had the motivation to put em down on paper yet but youre inspiring me!!!!#and yeah... i swore id finish a few of my current milgram wips before starting anything new but youre tempting meeeee#there will be plenty of time over the upcoming trial break for me to get some writing in im sure 👀#in a more serious tone i want to write a little drabble of the prisoners leaving/returning to the prison area#the odd relief of dropping pretenses and feeling free again#and then the heaviness that settles over them when they put on their fake bandages and torn uniforms and walk back in#but movie night my beloved!!!#not in a limiting gender role sort of way but i think with all the femininity that was forced on haruka he has a great time with the boys#all that fashion advice was Not heeded when choosing outfits for backdraft and triage#the Dad Fit was all shidous idea#(<- says this but i love the backdraft look jsyk)#i feel like t2 movie night would be much more chaotic since they were involved for a lot so they can get rowdier#then again some things were left secretive -- they never got to meet shidous kids and most didnt watch tear drop filming#and some of the post-filming effects probably turned out cooler than they were expecting#lights camera sing your sins#ask
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barely an hour at work and already on the brink of another breakdown i need to quit this fucking job and/or perhaps kill myself
#my boss told me i work too much overtime and i agree but also i am literally the only trained person on kitchen and unless we're fully#booked im alone and have to do everything myself and if theres a task i cant finish its waiting there for me tomorrow to pick back up plus#literally everything else bc everything in this hotel is fucking broken so i cant even do everything on time like this fucking dishwasher is#now broken for the what?? tenth time this summer???? hello???? so the dishes keep piling up and up and up and i have to do them later#whenever the technician shows up but that all goes toward extra time that i cant do certain tasks#pkus the night guard is incompetent as fuck every single morning theres so many mistakes i need to fix and i always have to clean up his#parts as well bc he never finishes breakfast on time and then leaves the kitchen looking like a mess#and the buffet looks like shit bc even though i tell him a million times how hes supposed to put things he keeps doing them differently and#BADLY on top of that so the buffet looks like someone just threw up some food on it in random order like i cant keep coming an hour early#just to hold your hand through the process of putting prepared food in the designated spaces youve been here for a month now at some point#youre gonna have to be able to fucking do this every time i come an hour early thats an hour i work longer every day bc of course all the#cleaning up after breakfast is done doesnt get any shorter#and then on top of THAT apparently im now responsible for ordering shit for the entire hotel and running meetings and oh yeah im also#supposed to watch over reception tomorrow WHILE doing breakfast. fantastic. thats gonna go so well i cant wait 👍🏻#and im also working on sunday btw. so cool. bc clearly im so well adjusted and also mentally stable that i dont need a weekend or whatever.#and its fully booked with one of the most important businesses in town so like no pressure no pressure#and of course the boss is on vacation bc she somehow is always on vacation during the busiest days which is also so cool of her to do#also did i mention no one is ever gonna love me and ill die alone bc i only fall for people i can never be with#but also thats cool and chill and i dont even care 👍🏻
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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When you're in a Hal Jordan mood but don't want to read Geoff Hal before you read Rebirth and can't read Rebirth before you read Spectre and can't read Spectre before you read Day of Judgement and can't read Day of Judgement because it will spoil the ending to Spectre (1992) and you still have 40 issues left of that but you don't want to read them right now because they don't have Hallllllll (and also you need to slip LWAT in there but you don't want to read that now because you feel like it should be a bigger deal and also are worried about Spectre spoilers) SO basically is there any GL comic out there that I CAN read?
Anyways the real solution to this is just do something older like Emerald Dawn/Emerald Dawn II but also. Now I spent too long posting and the vibes are dead
#anyways i ended up rereading will you be my god again and then hit emerald night final night 4 and then the hal funeral#but like those are all rereads#also you guys dont need to give advice here im just complaining#just like funny how everything connects#and yeah i can read out of order or whatever but also ive been getting addicted to the chrono reads these past few months theyre so good#like reading stuff out of order is good and all but like for the wondy stuff ive been into ive rlly learned that like issue 127 or whatever#rando number will hit so much harder if youve been reading since number 1 like 4 runs back than just the short term with limited context#anyways this is just me blabbing. and post. ill go find smth else to do now#like read one of the massive runs im reading. or my ww biography. or watch a dc show. life is my oyster
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