#if i wasnt radicalized before then i sure was

[ozziesjester]

the fact i know two people who were victims of police brutality way before police shot and killed an unarmed black serviceman in my area is insane to me. and fucks with my head bad

[lilythepad]

The contrast between the mean spirited terf that spent her afternoons reading the SCUM manifesto, The Female Eunuch, The Transsexual Empire, Pornography:Men possesing Women... That "whole woman" that once existed: present in activist spaces, joining rallies and feminist reading clubs, doing archery to shoot at adams apples and climbing walls.

It was so much easier when she had everything thought out, until she fell hard. She fell really hard at the floor when climbing, her fingers slipped off the hand hold. And there was one girl that came to check on her before others even noticed. As if she had been in a hurry she sat next to her and made sure she could respond, and asking wjere she had hurt herself. Before the fallen girl could even open her eyes, still withering in pain, she murmured that it was her ankle. And there she was a second after, monitoring her body, checking on her twisted ankle. When she fully opened her eyes she realized. She was a clocky girl, clumsy with her hands but she had this weird worried look in her eyes and in the tone of her voice. What was this? The poor radfem expressed obvious discomfort in her face. Conflicted with the tgirls charm, she obviously didnt need to be saved by no white knight nor trans princess. She brought herself up, and walked off without looking at her in the face. She sat down and asked the person in charge for some packed ice, and there she stayed, mourning about her fall and that other thing... she was pissed off... about to lash out.

Before anything else happened, a girl with a pretty yellow cap, white and yellow backpack and tight blue shorts, which was some eye candy even for a radical feminist, passed next to where the angry girl was, and she was walking into... the mens bathrooms? No fucking way, she couldnt let another woman be hurt like this. She shouted at her: "HEY! Dont go in there! Those are the mens showers!"

When the girl turned around she was as red as a tomato, and the terf was in disbelief of who it was. She had just told a transsexual to invade womens spaces. Before she could take it back, the embarrased tgirl ran into the womens showers. Anxious, the trans girl took her towels, and some gel, and ran inside to shower as quick as possible. Scared of what she might have done, the terf limped her way inside to check nothing weird was happening. She realized that the tgirls white and yellow backpack was peeking out of her locker, which she had forgot to lock. She started peeking inside to check of she could grab her ID to accuse her, but she only managed to find a pretty top between the changing clothes, stockings, a lovense, car seat headrest stickers, sewerslvt stickers and goddamn 100 gecs stickers. she did find a small black purse, but to her surprise, she had polaroid nudes with body positivity quotes like "love every girl including yourself" "girls are hot and i am hot". She wanted to call her a slur so badly and she only found corny and horny stuff, she was so immersed she didnt realize the tgirl had been staring at her for like 10 seconds already, she had showered and was scared by the radfem. A shy mumble from the tgirl made the other girl realize. Both were kind of creeped out and in disbelief. The "whole woman" said that is wasnt what it looked like and slowly limped away, so oblivious, not realizing she had taken one of the trans girl's nudes with her...

The tgirl would try to stay away from that place and move on to other gyms. But somehow, the terf was beliwdered by her body. She started researching more and more about trans female's bodies: neovaginas, the effect of hrt, and eventually, dwelving in an absurd amount of porn and erotica due to taboo and guilt. Her outlook should be that of sex as essence, but she couldnt stop looking at the polaroid of the girl, fascinated to how different she looked to the stereotype. She was obsessed.

Weirdly enough, the radfem starts going to new gyms, insisting that there are weird male creeps when she doesnt find her... Eventually, on her third try, she manages to eye her down in the treadmill. She looks more secure now, when shes done with her routine, she now goes to the womens changing rooms. Pathetically, the terf gets wet just seeing this. She waits for her outside the gym and "happens to bump into her". She apologizes and the tgirl doesnt realize who she is until she sees her face and the polaroid picture that was missing. She blushes red, a bit scared. The terf crawls closer to her and whispers "I'm sorry, i wasn't a good ally, can i make up for it at your place?" as she hands her the polaroid. The tgirl, confused, but slowly calming down, nods, and adds "You're so weird but at least you brought this back" as she picks up the picture.

At her place, the radfem, full of herself, jumps on her bed, and the tgirl, unamused, starts interrogating her a bit.

"What is the point in all this? Are you really an ally? Youre odd." She explains.

The girl playfully answers. "Im a feminist, but theres something special about you."

"A feminist?" The tgirl raises her brow.

"Your kind usually calls me a TERF. However, i mean no harm."

The tgirl crosses her arms. "So youve followed me all the way just to fawn for me? Impressive"

The terf blushes. She doesnt know what to say, caught off guard.

The tgirl grabs the hitachi wand hidden under her bed and she points it at the other girl. "Strip, now"

The radfem obligues, infatuated with her demands, and she bows down on the bed, saying shed try to be a better ally. "You get off to that? Disgusting" the tgirl said with an evil smile, as she pressed the wand on the terfs wet cunt. She ties the wand to her leg so its perma torturing her cunt, and as the bitch squirms and moans, the tgirl lets rests her girlcock on a semi on the dumb radfems face. "This is what you wanted, right?" Only wet noises come from under the girls ballsack, with her tongue twirling around her and her lips kissing and worshipping as she cums and goes dumb from consecutives orgasms, as the tgirl degrades her calling her a brainless radfem and that she gets off by being degraded by mean trannies. Her demeanor turned into that of a predator knowing she was handling a weak little prey. The touch of her skin was so hot, hungry to use a girl like a toy, to overstimulate her until she got way too deep into her mind. To break her beyond belief, she was happy, no, hungry that the radfem had so much repressed of her, so much guilt in her. She turned the wand off and ordered her to grind against her on the chair, and so she did. The radfem was docile, unrecognizable from her composed self. "All of this for trying to pretend that youre in control over your desires, you cant escape my beauty" the cocky transfem said. She made her grind on her gock, making her stop and say "you're the prettiest girl ive ever leayed my eyes on" as she continued, and making the radfem melt further. She was enjoying this corruption, and loved when the "radfem" asked for a break because it was too much, to which the tgirl happily agreed to, and brought her water and snacks to get some energy back. And when the "radfem" asked if she could rest for a bit after fucking, and the tgirl didnt mind and she ended up falling asleep as they watched a film together. And when they became close, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. And when the "radfem" ended up becoming a submissive for a trans woman, falling for her hard. And they fucked nastily ever after.

[arcane-sync]

I want to talk about something that I have never seen mentioned on this website before. That is, the duality of alter lists. And tangentially, switching multiple times to chat with people online.

When I was first coming to terms with this diagnosis, I too made an alter list with basic info and shared it with people I talked to. It was a trend in the groups I ended up in.

What is interesting was the info I dug up for those lists was TRUE but not AUTHENTIC. Let me explain that.

Factually, the information was mostly accurate. But I am not sure exactly how I came up with it. I dont know if it was a mischevious part sharing personal info behind their backs, if the info was floated to me willingly, or if I ripped the info out of my own mind (probably doing some damage in the process). At the very least, it seemed to do some damage to my relationships with these parts.

Actually MEETING these parts has turned out to be a radically different process than learning about them was. It has been a process of years and building up trust. And yes, my original info was true, but it lacked DEPTH. My 4 or 5 main parts are so, so much more than the pithy information I originally had. Reducing them to some simple info on a list simply does not do them justice. Getting to know THEM and not facts about them has been a radical and humbling series of events. I am so much more connected to them now, and I am coming to love them as fully developed parts now. These 4-5 main parts were all ANPs at one point, and were around long enough to develop their own trauma before passing the torch to a new primary ANP. They really are fully developed, and it will be a long time before they integrate, if they ever do. Those alter lists also reduced the EPs as well though, reducing their trauma to words on a page, intellectualizing information that desperately needed to be experienced, felt, and processed. Again, nothing on those lists were wrong, and they had their own uses. But they were... awfully reductionistic and left me wholly unprepared for the complexity of those alters.

Getting the information on those lists from the mouths of the parts themselves means so, so much more than having the factual info. It is useful and has its place, I think, but its not an end-all, be-all.

Now to the tangent mentioned at the beginning. If I am only recently meeting these parts, how was I switching multiple times to talk to people online? Honestly? I do think that was a different part entirely. I think they knew each alter well enough to know how they would respond and fed me that information. I think it was a third party alter who was helping me adjust to the idea of having DID. Without the added stress of bridging the gap with these parts to genuinely interact with them. A form of exposure therapy, essentially, from one of my own parts. None of that info was WRONG, but again, it wasnt AUTHENTIC.

So this is how I've made sense of my journey with my personal growth and online communities. I would love to hear any thoughts, reflections, or experiences others have.

[itsyagurlchip]

can I get a goofy reader insert w/ gregory as the older sibling

٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭ ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Radically Chaotic!٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭ ᯓ⚝ ⋆.˚✰

✰⋆⁺warning: Gregory(!) crack(!) a lil older sibling angst(!)

✰⋆⁺ i know who you are *insert gay dog*naw but fr- I apologize that it took so long for this to come out :(( and ur not online as much, BUT I LOVE U SM ❤️🫵🏾I know it was supposed to be goofy- but i had to get some tears in(I knew it was u bc ur the only one who uses goofy like that @thealphagirl)

✰⋆⁺ You are a 14 year old older sibling. Life just couldn't get harder for you!!!-? Wait- WHY DOES HIS TRACKER SAY THE PIZZA PLEX?

"DUDE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU THINK IT WAS OK TO BE HERE???" I harshly whispered, my breath heaving in the tight hiding spot we were in.

"I DONT KNOW!? I JUST WANTED TO SEE SOME COOL STUFF" Gregory responded, trying to use that damn Journey Kidz ass watch. I don't even know where that came from, Mom hasn't bought anything like that in months.

"AH YES, BECAUSE THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD IS GETTING CHASED BY A GROWN AS WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE NEEDS 3 YEARS OF SLEEP!" I sarcastically retorted as my voice raised a pitch. We were so in trouble, it's bad enough that I got my tablet away. Now the door is up for grabs.

"THAT 'WOMAN' WILL GET US IF YOU DONT SHUT UP"

"MAKE ME, YOU LIL-" His hand slapped against my mouth just as aggressive stomping flooded both of our ears. My heart dropped to my ass. Forget the door! I won't even have a bedroom to myself if we go to jail!

This is a big ass place, no telling how much it costs. Trespassing gets sued for, and knowing Gregory, he probably broke some expensive-!

oh no...

"Gregory?..." I slowly turned to him, "How much have you broken?"

I'm pretty sure I could hear that loudass daycare music (despite us being closer to the front) from how quiet it became.

*sigh* "We need to get out of here so no one can recognize our faces- I am NOT gonna do community service for your dumbass decisions." I hissed out as I slightly gripped my hair. I had to take another long exhale at the absurdity of the situation, my eyes couldn't even stay open as I did so. The buffoonery, the stress, the-

I hear sniffling from my right and I quickly spun around just in time to see my little brother put on a tough face, not before he angrily wiped away some tears with the bittest of snot from his nose.

I sigh once more, with my eyes tearing up as well. I pull him close into a hug, his head leaning close to my chest. I wonder if he can hear how hard my hard is beating...

"Look buddy... Sorry if I sounded so harsh- or if I worded something wrong". A tear fell from my eye. "I just wish you had told me where you were- or, or...I just wanted you to be okay. I'm older than you, I have to protect you." I looked into Gregory's eyes as I wiped some of the tear tracks away.

"Not only that, and I had to admit it but- you're my number one best friend. I don't want to know what it's like to lose you." My voice cracked a I continued on. I held Gg tight, hoping that we weren't crying too loud.

...

Well that was a shit show! You know, crying isn't as bad as it seems to be. Because I would rather be ANYWHERE ELSE than here right now!

You know, at home, in a nice warmish bed. A non hostile environment. No Self aware machines. Especially ones that chase you, AROUND A FUCKING MALL!!

Me and Gregory were booking it- A raccoon-looking animatronic was chasing us.

'What she needed to chase was a color scheme' I thought to myself. 'And maybe a whole new maw- that shit looks like those furry masks on yt shorts.

Turns out, the only robot that wasn't trying to maul our faces off is good ole Freddicson Fazbearington. But, as if the universe is our 3rd grade enemy, Freddy runs like a goddamn iphone battery.

I could only hope that we made it our here, no fees, no community service, or even trouble on our hands. I couldn't even hop for that- the damn things were trying to kill us!

If wishing wasnt doing anything, me and my little brother will. We'll make it home safe, no scratches, no suspicion. Nothing will be damaged, no one will be harmed.

But the security was breached, leaving a radically chaotic fire in its wake by the start of the morning.

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice . if you would like to be added, check my blog.

[toytulini]

I saw Barbie last night, I dont think i have a long film review of it for yall but idk I'll put some thoughts under a readmore I guess?

-Right off the bat, I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was a fun pink poppy romp. Thats about what I expected of it, and thats pretty much what I got

-Its not particularly radical in its gender/feminism takes, its very basic, which, I saw a number of ppl mention that before I saw it so I wasnt expecting anything radical. It couldve done better. it was. fine. im shrug about it i guess.

-My mom enjoyed it and was apparently not expecting any sort of emotional depth or story at all so it caught her off guard. I heard her crying. she cries easy at movies. I'm glad my mom liked it. Maybe she'll absorb some of the very basic feminism it drops idk.

-I knew the Kens adopted patriarchy and introduced it to Barbieland but it felt lile that happened very fast, idk.

-The ending....I. is her going to a gynecologist supposed to be like. shes gotten a vagina by deciding to be human?? or is she trying to schedule a surgery or something? that felt pretty weird to me if im honest, i thought it was gonna be a job interview or smth... Especially with how everyone was like "Barbie is ace (heheeh i agree) cos she has no genitals! (sorry what. excuse me. wanna run that by me again?)" like okay that makes that headcanon reasoning even more dewply uncomfortable that it already was?

-I enjoyed weird Barbie. i wish theyd cast someone else cos iirc ka/te mckin/non was a transmisogynist? unless she apologized or said she changed her mind on the topic since like 2017?? but i havent seen anything? idk. just. annoying to keep platforming these ppl. i guess theres probably other actors involved that have shit views of trans ppl. whatever i guess.

-I did dress up a little. i feel like my outfit had Weird Barbie Vibes. maybe ill post a pic.

-I did enjoy it and it had a number of shots and or transitions i liked, i think the one with the disco ball to the moon or whatever was enjoyable.

-god we really are so weird about barbie

-it just feels factually incorrect that all dolls pre barbie were baby dolls? idk. im sure it was the most common kind. but idk. not to be weird about The History Of Dolls but like. the porcelain dolls from the Victorian era. idk if those count as baby dolls. iirc those were to help young girls practice prepping dead bodies of loved ones for funerals or smth??? but i guess porcelain dolls have a sort of babyish look about them. and are fragile so you cant play rough with them.

-Like i Know its a 2hr long toy commercial for mattel but also god that cant be right. even if they werent filling the same niche as barbie as idk basically a fashion doll? there had to be other dolls right?

-I know the flat foot thing is Supposed to be over the top and silly for them all to get upset about but also tbh. as a bitch with falling arches the way some of yall make jokes about flat feet still is uh. well. rude. but also lmao man. the day my arches started hurting for no reason while i was barefoot did sorta feel emotionally like her feet falling to the ground lol.

-i want to introduce barbie to margot robbie's harley quinn owo. i think that would be Fun :3

-i want Ken's job. how do i do Beach as an occupation.

-I actually liked how they handled Ken and Barbie's rship til the end. i feel weird about that ending overall and also it feels weak wrt her dynamic as Ken. they make him grapple w her not reciprocating his feelings the same way but then she just leaves barbieland anyway?? and ig they dont get to explore a friendship or qpr dynamic. ok. its fine i guess.

-her saying she has no genitalia felt so transgender in a way im not sure it was intended to. ken saying he has all of the genitalia felt even more transgender. headcanoning them both as extremely transgender in fun weird new ways and no one can stop me.

-Allan is my favorite character i think. bro me too

-bibbleless movie. add bibble.

[sparring-spirals]

i've only seen the scene once, so maybe i misread it, but... i saw imogen being kinda distant and stoic? detached hyper-rational? in her talk with laudna at the end. like, i saw more emotion in the whole fcg/fearne parents doll therapy. i'm not sure what i expected in this first "now laudna is scared and needs a friend" scenario, but i wasnt satisfied with the whole "she's evil, don't believe her. lets go we gotta solve our problems in order, there are bigger ones". again, maybe i misread it.

tl;dr: i think imogen approaches problems by just Feeling Minimal Emotions (sans rage), and Laudna and Imogen both have very distinct (and understandable) comfort/reassurance methods.

Hmmm. So, I don't really agree with this interpretation, although I can see where it comes from. Sure, Imogen was being very very- level, and matter of fact, and her tone very, very low and steady. You could make an argument for the detatched-hyper-rational tone, but I think equating it to a lack of care or even bad care really doesn't jibe for me.

A lot of this probably hinges on my personal reading of Imogen, but knowing that Imogen is the kind of person to sort of Shove All Her Emotions Way Down Deep And Do What's Necessary when things get dicey sets the stage here for me. Its been a rough morning. And after all that hubbub, after F.C.G is getting healed up- this is Laudna, normally her rock (ha), shaken and wavering and none of her usual stability in sight, Delilah threatening more and more, and Laudna is- rattled.

It makes a lot of sense to me that Imogen is trying to stay as steady, as calm, as level and logical and rational as possible, and trying to provide that to Laudna too.

I also think that Laudna and Imogen approach comfort and reassurance in radically different ways- and both ways that make a lot of sense for their characters.

Laudna comfort tends to be about- affirmations, and validations, and compliments. Its very positivity oriented. Its about 30 years alone, about isolation and a horrific death and people recoiling in horror from what you are, and town after town of hostility. Its about finding small good things and positives in an ocean of awful to hold onto and showering compliments and little gestures of support. Cups of water in a hand. Sometimes the logistics of things are bleak and tragic and the facts don't change when you look at them, but you can find the good in them if you keep looking.

Imogen comfort, on the other hand, has a lot to do with breaking things down until you can breathe right again, until you can corral the panic and the whirlwind and spiralling into order again. Its about- a brain overwhelmed with thoughts, your own and others, about fear that grips you by the throat and leaves you sleepless. Its about spirals of anxiety/thoughts/feelings that paralyze you if you try to indulge them. Its about- crushing the emotions down, the good, and the bad, before they can overwhelm you. Give your hands and your self something to do. Breaking down those insurmountable problems into bits and pieces, truths you know. Things you are sure of. Things you have to be sure of, so you don't get ripped into howling winds.

Or to put it another way- i think the surety, the facts, are meant as a comforting gesture from Imogen the same way a cup of water in the hand is for Laudna.

And. I think the more terrified she is, the more angry, the more there is on the line- the more still and sharp Imogen goes. ( 👀👀👀 )

(None of the above directly dictates how helpful it was for Laudna, but the intent? I think the intent was there.)

[enderspawn]

ayup lads im still upset abt doomsday fjdsklfjk

lmanberg wasn't irredeemable imo. tommy's exile was prompted mainly by dream and tubbo gave in to prevent a war they werent ready for. butchers army was semi-democratically made (if i remember correctly) and, beyond unrightful execution without trial, arguably HAS a right to try criminals who've acted against the country. yes, there were some issues but it was never beyond reform. quackity was the most corrupt part of the system tbh (like w using butcher army as a way to gain personal power, not as justice for new lmanberg), but without him things like the butchers army likely wouldn't've even existed since tubbo opposed it at first. hell, they were planning another election! an open and fair election for everyone!

but more so than possible lmanberg redemption, ppl acting like its destruction was politically motivated is.. well kind of wrong. maybe partially, but in general i dont think of it as a politically-motived event when you look at every persons motivations.

yes, techno is an anarchist! but 1. a large part of his reason for destroying lmanberg was as revenge against its members (such as the butchers army, and partially feeling betrayed by tommy, "I will repay that injustice 1000 times over") and not due to its existence AS a government and 2. tbh he chose the shittiest form of anarchy: dog-eat-dog, where he doesnt help the individuals empower themselves (admittedly, more so after pogtopia happened) and instead just destroys any power structures they create so that they have to struggle alone to gain power.

i'm sure you can point to feeling betrayed by pogtopia's existence as a reason for techno to not do that again! but like... idk man. if techno as a character was less emotional and reactive, it wasnt too late to try and convince new lmanberg in its formation to abandon its hierarchy instead of immediately turning to withers and destruction. hell, if i remember correctly (though i know its a point of contention and may have been reconned, so ignore if so, but) a few ppl mentioned wanting to coop manburg to get back in power to techno but he ignored them w the idea that they'll "cross that bridge when we come to it". even if thats incorrect, he still did the same thing with tommy before doomsday. he knew the person he allied with did not want the same destruction as him, but instead of trying to convince his ally/allies otherwise, he ignores the issue until its too late and he gets hurt.

i know thats literally just three of c!techno's character flaws, so its pretty damn unlikely to be changed but still something i wanted to mention + bring up, bc its a very valid point when critiquing techno and his actions. his feelings regarding how he was treated by pogtopia was massive in his character and how he treats spreading anarchy: after all, they don't learn via him fighting along side them like brothers (like he said to quackity before their fight). violence is the only universal language they would understand.

c!techno in general as a symbol of anarchy is all abt dismantling, but never about building something new in its place. it means the ppl he helps dont, for lack of a better word, "know better". they make a hierarchy bc its what they know and then techno gets mad they did and destroys it again without ever proposing any kind of compromise. for others, techno's form of anarchy seems like it is solo-people only because they dont know how to have a group in a anarchistic ""techno-approved"" way.

dream was destroying it for personal revenge against the country's existence and to hurt tommy. while yeah you can say that wish for destruction is somewhat political since his grudge goes back to before the revolution, i still say it feels more personal. he doesn't have issue w lmanberg as a government, he has issues w lmanberg due to his own personal ambitions. he wants total control of the server and lmanberg revolts against that hope. plus, destroying lmanberg would help absolutely destroy tommy, which is always a plus for dream who adores harming tommy and sees it as a fun game.

hell, id say PHIL was the most politically motivated, but still a LOT of his motivation is personal first which happened to impact his political opinons (though i admit im incredibly biased towards him/against the other two): he believes people being in positions of power corrupts them (such as wilbur and tubbo) and wanted to remove it to prevent that position harming anyone else. combined with his unresolved grief over losing wilbur and his negative interactions with the butcher army, he ultimately decides to destroy lmanberg itself. remove the source of the issue directly instead of working WITH the citizens to reform away from any kind of direct power. tbh, with past negative experiences, you could say none of the doomsday trio was in a place to work beside lmanberg, but phil is probably the most likely to have (since he was part of lmanberg and (i think??) part of the cabinet briefly). he shows some regret now abt the severity of doomsday, but he doesn't regret he did it because in his eyes he truly needed that hierarchy GONE. a necessary evil. but i doubt hed have that same guilt if they went abt it in a less.... tbh shitty way.

idk man like i said i Hate doomsday, i just. even from an anarchy standpoint its such an ineffective and unsympathic way to deal with it. they dont try to help as people, they help as a destructive force. just remove the source of hierarchy! --and take everyones homes and belongings with it. i sincerely hope w the syndicate moving forward we have more of a empowering the ppl and radicalizing them towards genuine collective anarchy (semi-like pogtopia, in that working with the people) and not just more... "haha government bad blow it up no more government :]]"

[springatito-moved]

Holy shit i was in the bnha fandom before this one (legit lost a friend in the move too lmao) but uhh okay, here i go

All might is actually really fucking toxic

Kirishima is the best example of a "manly" guy who is still a decent person.

Also Kirishima started my gender crisis, but we arent going into that

Uraraka is often displayed in the fandom as either a badass or some girl who likes deku and it really pisses me off

I feel like i could talk Momo into being a leftist if she isnt already one

I also think Momo is the most likely to enter an mlm. i cant explain this really.

SAME i lost all my friends bc i dindt even say i was becoming a mcyt blog i liteally just left & made a new acct lmao

1. oh yeah i hate that guy. squish him like a bug

2. kiri SAUR awesome he drinks respect women juice daily and also is gay like how cool

3. oh yeah fanon ura is terrible. the only valid fanon ura was the era where the fandom actually started liking uradeku and gave her personality so it wasnt like the show. massive fan of that.

4. momo is one of those girls who doesnt rlly Get politics she just kinda rolls with what her parents tell her. but she could be radicalized i feel.

5. she sells herbalife to the 1-b kids in the future for sure

[prettyperfectdoll]

It's amazing how entitled men are. all of them.

I was talking to my house mate's boyfriend, who's a poor black man, about gender and radical feminism. This man had already had some conversations about this topic but isnt too well versed in it, he wasnt sure if saying "straight cis man" was redundant but he goes along with TRA narrative cause its mainstream and he isnt really a douche. Now this man, at one point, was like "I dont really agree with you, but I see your point, and I dont think you're transphobic like JKR" and I was like ???? I agree with her ¿¿¿ and he proceeded to say that she doesnt really now what shes talking about, that she is just bringing data to support her bigoted views and hasn't really read about this stuff like I had.

Like, what?? He doesn't know english, so what he knows about JKR's letter was told to him by his girlfriend. I was talking to him that she indeed knew what she was talking about and that she indeed can say about that (brasileiras me ajudem, como fala Lugar de Fala em inglês?) bc she is a woman and is affected by these issues.

I mean, just.... I wouldn't dream of saying a black person doesnt know what they're talking about if they made a public statement regarding racism. I wouldn't dream of saying an indigenous person doesnt know what they're talking about if they made a public statement regarding their land. How come men, of any and all political spectrum, of any and all colors, regard themselves able to talk over women like that??? This was absurd. And this is supposed to be one of the "good guys". And really, he is a nice person to talk to and stuff, but it's incredible (in the not believable sense) how male socialization can make every man so very entitled like that.

Female separatism is the only answer, really. I've had all kinds of discussions in the past before regarding JKR with women. Women who agree with her, women who disagree with her, but never one of them said "she doesnt know what shes talking about" in the sense that she must not have read radical feminist ideas and stuff. This is mindblowing, I'm still taken aback.

[foulserpent]

ned has the most fleshed out history of any of my OCs. i typed it out over the past couple of days, theres some stufff missing but its over 2000 words as is.

here is neds life story prior to the oblviion crisis

ned was born in a village near falinesti’s summer rooting site. his father died before ned was born, and ned was raised by his mother and various farmhands in the community.

his mother was a farmer (though she had a shady past he was always peripherally aware of but never privy to), and they raised hogs and chickens for milk/meat/eggs and would be part of falenesti’s supply chain every year. niviiran also lived nearby, and the two were close friends throughout their childhood and adolescence.

“nasty ned” was in fact his birth name and a name he continued to use, though going by the latter part. he was never able to find out why his mother named him that. the name came in handy, given that ned is transgender and already had a fairly “masculine” name. he was recognized as a boy since he was around 10, but his mother was unable to afford the hormone replacement potions until his later teens.

when ned was 16, he started taking jobs at falenesti, mostly as a bouncer at its taverns. he had been a bit of a nervous child before that and to this day isnt sure why he chose that line of work, but it toughened him up considerably.

when he was about 20, his friend niviiran was being heavily pressured into marrying off to secure her family’s inherited silk business. niviiran saw this as the only chance to escape her emotionally abusive parents, and proposed the notion of entering into a (false) marriage with ned until she could get away. he agreed, both desiring to help his friend and hoping to benefit from niviiran’s far wealthier parents.

during this time, he had his first Actual intimate relationship, but it only lasted about a week. he had picked up a girlfriend at his job, but being emotionally immature and a bit of a dick, he thought that he did not need to inform her that he was TECHNICALLY married, since the marriage was fake and him and niv both did not mind. she left when he found out.

this marriage fell apart within a year, largely as a result of ned panicking and letting it slip while drunk at a gathering with niv’s family. this caused a huge commotion mostly directed at him (and was worsened by his continued panicking), and culminated in niviiran’s brother beating him and attempting to run him over with a horse as he fled. his leg was badly crushed and was saved by his mother.

though their marriage was fake, niviiran and ned had a real falling out as a result of this. both obviously felt bad for the harm to the other, but niv was very angry at ned for having let it slip and putting her in the position of having to run away from her controlling parents rather than leave freely. ned at the time was surprised and hurt that she was so mad, having taken her friendship for granted, and responded in kind. they separated angrily and did not see each other again after that point, and the way he treated niv is one of his first and biggest regrets.

after his leg was mostly healed, he decided he wanted to leave valenwood, at least for a while. he had developed some skill as a bodyguard, and managed to get himself hired to guard a merchant caravan that looped through valenwood, elsweyr, and cyrodiil. this was the time where he really came into his own in mercenary type fields, learning to use swords/shields/armor and how to hold his own against much larger foes. he also learned how to cook at this time, and had his first boyfriend. this relationship was not serious and did not last past ned’s contract with the caravan, but was significant and fondly remembered.

he chose not to continue as a caravan guard, and became interested in mercenary work instead. he joined up with cyrodiil’s fighters guild, and spent the next decade or so working for them. late in this period, he was subcontracted out to mainland morrowind on a longterm job as a hired guard. during this time, he met and began a relationship with yaksha gra-dralas, a morag tong agent. their relationship lasted about three years until ned’s contract ended. it was somewhat serious, but neither felt it was working out well enough to continue (and neds ass was too small). they went their separate ways, and ned returned to cyrodiil.

ned continued working for the fighters guild for an indeterminite amount of years, culminating in the events of oblivions fighters guild questline occurring. when ned was demoted for the death of the guildmaster’s son that he had nothing to do with, he decided that the guild was going to shit and that he was leaving. he resigned, and spent a few years hiring himself out independently as a mercenary or whatever else was paying.

eternally bad at settling, he became unsatisfied and decided to move again. he moved to vvardenfell, where he would live for the next 30 years or so. during this time, he joined their chapter of the fighters guild, took many odd jobs, and became more radicalized against the empire than he had already been (which was a lot).

notably, in the latter half of his time there, he met the disowned son of a hlaalu nobleman named ondryn. he and ondryn were assigned together on a longterm fighters guild job out in the wilderness, and began a relationship that would last a decade. it was ned’s longest relationship, and also the first one that he seriously considered the possibility of being permanent and settling with. he had loved all his partners before this, but ondryn was very special to him and brought out something much more serious in him.

it was this relationship that would also lead to ned’s involvement with daedric cults. ondryn was dissident against the tribunal and a follower of azura, boethiah, and mephala. this was just casual everyday worship, but the two joined an active sect of boethiah worshippers (at least partially trying to impress each other). ned had never been religiously motivated and believed that gods were not owed worship any more than anyone else, but was drawn to the “good daedra” for their seemingly mutually beneficial relationship with mortals.

ned was never the most devoted of boethiah’s sect, but through skill and luck he continuously proved himself worthy, and eventually was challenged to and won a tournament of 10 bloods. he was granted a title as champion of boethiah, and bestowed with the artifact goldbrand.

for a while, he proved himself worthy by continuing to maintain his position and defeat any challenger who came his way. but at one point, he was successfully kidnapped along with a fellow boethiah worshipper to be sacrificed to molag bal. he managed to free himself of his binds and escape, and came back with reinforcements to slaughter the rest of molag bal’s faithful, but it was too late for his friend.

this was the first decidedly traumatic incident of his life, and marked the beginning of a slow downturn of his life and his mental health. he was wracked with guilt at having left his friend to die, and was beginning to realize he wasnt really cut out for the whole champion of boethiah thing, rightfully fearing that he had lost favor for this weakness. in a stupid move (that would turn out smart in the long run in bargaining for his soul back), he kept goldbrand but fled with ondryn from the cult, ghosting boethiah and just hoping it wouldnt come back to bite him.

the blight was also worsening in vvardenfell at this point, with things beginning to get pretty scary. ned had repeatedly expressed desire for him and ondryn to flee vvardenfell, but the latter saw all this as just another crisis that would pass with time, and ned accepted this. around the time of the beginning of morrowind’s events, ondryn fell sick after an encounter with one of the ash creatures from red mountain. when it became obvious and undeniable that it was corprus, ondryn resigned himself to dying and asked of ned to help him be properly cremated and interred in his family tomb. all of ondryn’s living relatives had disowned him, but he still desired to be buried in his rightful place.

agreeing to this was the hardest thing ned had ever done. ondryn said goodbye and took poison, and ned was left alone to burn and lay his body to rest. he almost couldnt bring himself to do it, but eventually succeeded. after it was done, ned remained in the tomb for a few days, catatonic and just waiting to see if he would show symptoms himself. when it became clear that he had not contracted corprus, he considered suicide but became disgusted with himself and decided against it.

he remained in vvardenfell for a short while after this, but when his beloved guar (“jelly”) passed away of old age (mercifully peacefully), he decided enough was enough, and returned to cyrodiil. he had a couple of brief encounters with a person who he would later learn was the nerevarine, and left only weeks before the defeat of dagoth ur.

upon returning to cyrodiil, he was in a rut. he had become near-broke, had newly acquired mental health issues, had a constant fear of boethiah sending prospective champions after him, and had nothing to do with himself. he settled into the imperial city waterfront as a squatter, and attempted to join the thieves guild, but failed the initiation. desperate, he began thieving on his own, sometimes doing jobs for others and sometimes just to have money to get by.

he took a very large risk in agreeing to steal and imperial watch captain’s heirloom sword, and was captured in the act. he resisted arrest and injured the captain, and the captain personally intervened to get him a much steeper sentence than he otherwise would have. he was put into the imperial city prison for a few weeks, before being transferred to the arena and being put to work as a gladiator.

this was essentially a death sentence, with no determined ending besides dying in the arena. he met shap-mota here, a bard who had been blamed for a string of brutal assaults in spite of being pretty unquestionably Not the culprit. the two of them had an intimate relationship throughout this time, and struck up a friendship, but they were under a painful and unusual situation and it could not really be called a romantic relationship.

for a time, ned was managing well. he managed to get some serious dirt on one of the guard captains and effectively blackmail him. he wasnt able to secure his freedom, but was able to force his hand into giving him his sword (goldbrand) back and giving him and shap a bit more leeway as prisoners. having goldbrand is likely the only reason he survived and won all his death matches, but his uncooperativeness and humiliation of a few of the guards gave them a massive grudge.

after about 5 months, shap narrowly won a match, but had been gravely injured in the process and collapsed. ned last saw him being dragged out from the arena, and never saw anything that would indicate shap being alive, and had to assume he died. things got really bad after that, with ned having no buffer against the ire of the guards and other prisoners. he lost his blackmailing opportunity (though was allowed to keep goldbrand, due to the crowd loving his signature flaming sword) and was given absolutely terrible treatment from his captors.

he became incredibly disgusted with being forced to kill other prisoners and enraged at challengers who fought willingly. as he rose in the ranks, he was kept going by not knowing what else to do and by a grim satisfaction at murdering people who willingly chose to be combatants. this was very traumatizing.

ned achieved champion rank, though he almost lost his final match. his opponent disarmed him and instead of killing him, gloated and slashed at him with goldbrand, ripping his abdomen open and giving him his biggest scars. ned managed to take him by surprise and kill his opponent before passing out from shock and blood loss.

he woke up a day later to find he had been released. evidently, no one expected him to live that long and it was decided he might as well be let go. ned already had trauma to deal with, but was suddenly experiencing very unusual and new symptoms (which was ptsd and an anxiety disorder) that he had no idea what to do with. he was also convinced that his challenger was there on boethiah’s behalf, though he cant be sure of that, and the fear of being killed and left to the daedra who probably owned his soul took hold of him again.

he had been given some prize money, and he collected himself and left. he moved into kvatch, and rented an attic from some dunmer in exchange for proofreading his stupid “opus” about him killing all the cliff racers or whatever.

ned spent a few years in a haze, kind of just drifting through life, getting into shit here and there. there was an “incident” involving the towns blacksmith at the general store, and he was not arrested but was considered to owe a favor to the town’s watch captain due to the chaotic results that few dare to speak of.

this favor was finally cashed in when kvatch was burnt down by mehrune’s dagons invasion force and they needed someone to try and close the gate, and lo and behold here comes ned “owes a favor” nasty and some argonian from out of town who just kind of wandered in.

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[pallas-cat]

sorry no it wasnt a radfem that asked you that i was asking bc i didnt wanna reblog ur addition on that environmental racism post if you were (bc i check ppls blogs to make sure they arent like bigots and stuff) and you had reblogged smth that my filtered content/tags picked up for radical feminism and someone with a url like rad-fem on it was the last reblog, so i thought i’d ask

glad ur not, theyll also meet me in the pit!

omg no yeah i indeed didn't read an URL properly, i rely WAY too much on shinigami eyes so my actual eyes are dormant af on mobile 😭

if anything sorry for the defensive response! i had a slew of t3rfs in my inbox before so i got wary but that's on me for not being careful w reblogs

anyhow no harm done either way and I'm sorry as well and if anything thank u for notifying me re that reblog ;3;

[normal-thoughts-official]

God, the spite, I love her. >> girlie doesn't get to be spiteful bc she didn't realize actions had consequences until a heart-to-heart with daddy dearest like a couple of days ago. before that, she had been busy enjoying all the unsanctioned missions that ultimately lead to the wedding in question. so there is that

I disagree. I think she didn't realize the full consequences of her actions for sure but that she always had alec's best interests at heart. i think many ppl view s1 izzy as selfish but in my interpretation literally all of her actions (except maybe banging meliorn lmao which i mean valid decision) had Alec's wellbeing as the end goal. like you can see the difference in how she acts with Alec vs how she acts with clary/jace, even in terms of posture, i think her devil-may-care, ooh look at me im such a silly irresponsible girl i dont care about anything but having fun xD was an act she specifically put on for Alec. because Alec was the exact opposite, and she couldnt reach out to him, and after years and years of trying to get him to loosen up she developed this super over the top act to try and cut down his reactions

I'm not saying it was a GOOD plan because obviously it wasn't helping at all and going so radical pretty much meant that she wasnt listening to him, and i think she failed to realize the most important thing when it comes to Alec: that the reason Alec never allowed himself to relax was her (and Jace and Max)

Alec had been taking the brunt of their parents' anger and crushing expectations specifically to protect her from it, but because he never said so and she never saw how much worse it would have been for her had Alec not been shielding her, she didnt realize that. and because she didn't realize that, she could never fully communicate with him and they reached this weird impasse. and i think she only realized that the moment she said "no, marry me instead" and maryse looked at her like the idea was ridiculous. because it was Alec who was supposed to sacrifice himself, it was never her, and it was because Alec was willing to do it that she could have her little rebel act

i mean i guess u could argue that's not realizing actions have consequences but i dont think that she was ever being selfish, i think that Alec was what drove her character and her character development for the whole show, but especially s1. im not saying shes perfect or that she wasnt making matters worse (because she objectively was), and izzy definitely did a lot of shit in this hellhole show, but i dont think you can say that she doesnt have the right to be angry at the whole wedding thing when her main goal as a person the whole show was always to get Alec to be happy, even if she was fucking terrible at it until the last moment

of course thats just my personal opinion but since u sent me this ask i thought id give it dudndjd

[cutemoniic]

full offense, because i care very little about this website anymore, but people who completely and consciously refuse at providing ooc communication should be kicked out of this community. there should be a certaint rulebreaker that doesnt allow people past a certaint point with this. there should be a message that pops up over their blog with something like ''buddy, you fucked up now'' in massive blinding lights and automatically kicks them out of the website. also, this rant was overdue.

im not talking about people who struggle with anxiety regarding communicating out of character, im talking about people who can communicate properly and weaponize the fuck out of it. social/online anxiety, bad news i know, isnt shitting on someone in a group chat while having complete power to communicate to them ''hey, this x thing that happened/that you said rubbed me the wrong way, can we talk about it?'', but choosing to withdraw any form of communication to stir some drama because youre thirsty for it. social/online anxiety isn't failing so badly at communicating that even YOU cannot accept it and unload the blame on someone else completely just because you feel like this is the right thing to do. REAL socially anxious people are in the rpc community and they are doing their best to reach out to people to form friendships and meaningful relationships. imagine having the power and the abilities to communicate properly, but withholding it all because youre on a sick power trip and want to shit as much as possible over the other person just because of a slight you perceived was done towards you. when this happens, you don't moan and whine about said perceived slight: you move your ass, gather your maturity and go talk to the other person about it. if it wasnt intentional youll receive an apology and a promise to do better, and if it was intentional or the person did it in a malicious light? call them the fuck out. warn others. make a fucking storm up so they will run away in shame. but at least you will have done the correct thing: communicating.

as i talked about it before over my dualscar blog, even if on another topic, this is a community hobby: it means that we are all conjoining energies to make ourselves and everyone else a fun time by communicating with eachother. i assume that everyone that joins here, or has been on tumblr for a long time, knows that ooc communication is a necessary thing to have a pleasant experience. there's a problem? we talk about it. something happens that causes anxiety? we talk about it! it should be this simple. this should be a source of solid comfort for other people. knowing that they are more than their own muses and knowing that the other person on the other side of the screen will reach out if they are upset at them, so the problem can be tackled out. i had a few traumatic experiences based on ooc communication that shaped up how much i oocly contact others: i have been blamed for being too attached to ooc communication when the other person completely and utterly failed to communicate their share and left me to shoulder it all. i have been withheld big time ooc communication until i talked about it, and gaslight into ''but if you asked me for more ooc communication i would have used it! xd'' when in reality it wasnt true, etc. man, i have been shunned so fucking much for valueing ooc communication as i do and i can see why, today. most of the people im talking about also shadily changed names to not be recognized by these days so lol!

because ooc is a powerful tool of communication, it will be weaponized from malicious people in order to stir up drama and to have both positive and negative attentions drawn on them. it will be withheld just to make the one doing it feel powerful and make their victim feel bad. anything that will be shifted from people who believe of themselves as ''blameless'' and ''the true victims'' will be shifted into the person who just wants to have a safer experience with communication. people will literally thing ''i know i am to blame for this, but let me flip it all around or ill shatter like a mirror because i cannot face responsabilities and have the maturity of a candy cane'' and shit like this. while im usually a very empathetic person, i see shit like this and i lose it.

if you don't get why ooc communication is important, or have no intentions on changing how you communicate, you are not welcome in the rpc community.

this rant, which will obviously be taken and talked about various malicious trashtalking chatrooms to judge me for it, because this is how ''ooc communication'' is right now, is aimed to be seen by certaint people and give them strenght. i mean to tell them ''you arent alone in having been mistreated over ooc community, c'mere. lemme give you an hug''. this rant is to reassure REAL socially anxious people that i feel for them and dont want uncommunicative fuckfaces to make their experience even worse than what it is already. if you feel called out by this rant, im not up to listen to your excuses and reasons, and if you contact me looking to argue, you're gonna be blocked the moment the sound of your message hits my IMs. if instead you feel called out by this rant and want to know what you did wrong and look for advices to improve, im willing to help you if theres no victimism involved and we can talk like two mature people if you want to get better. im a patient person if you show remorse.

if someone adamantly refused to ooc communicate, manipulates you or shuns you for it, start protecting yourself if you are not ready to call them out.

inform your friends in the most neutral way that you can. ''this person has caused me grief over ooc communication by not using it/weaponizing it against me etc, and has put me into a difficult situation. be careful''. mass block them the moment they try this bullshit over your other pals too. avoid this person until they have nothing left to do but apologize and promise to be better, and once actual progresses are made make sure to have a talk with them to make them understand why this happened and what about this irked you and caused you to react strongly. if there is no remorse or apology, continue avoiding them. people will eventually come around after they are hurt too, and will need you to mend their wounds. people will start listening after it. its all a chain of events that cannot be stopped until the perpetrator of this bullshit stops and looks at their actions.

callouts aren't required.

as a final word, i will say it again: if you cannot recognize that this community is still trying desperately to find comfort in communication and you wanna do your worst to ruin it, do everybody that still has some sanity a favor and leave, because you will not be welcomed unless you radically change how you act.

[expertmakodriver]

Exactly. I totally agree with you. People like me (the bi guy anon from before) at least got to enjoy romancing Kaidan in me3 as maleshep, but they should have just made him bi from the start. Kaidan doesnt have the excuse that he wasnt close enough to Shepard in ME1 to want to date him, because he sure as hell had some goo goo eyes for femshep. The Mass Effect fandom is pretty tame but ive had my experiences with crazy fans who called me homophobic for stupid reasons....

Yeah, I'm really not a fan of the idea of changing a character's sexuality based on what fans want. It's up to the writers to decide what traits they want their characters to have. Kaidan is a difficult case because while I wouldn't normally agree with suddenly making him bi, he DID provide some seriously-needed representation for gay/bi men. It's also totally possible that Kaidan discovered that he was bi by the time of ME3, so if you squint hard enough, you can run with this idea. That still doesn't excuse the lack of male love interests for Maleshep, though. I understand why mlm would feel frustrated with this, but Garrus being straight is just objectively not a problem, and it shouldn't be turned into a problem.

But regardless, once you look past the handful of shit-stirrers and/or radical shippers, the Mass Effect fandom on here is generally a pretty nice place. I've never been in such a relatively civil, enjoyable fandom before, and I'm grateful that my favorite game series has a good community around it. It's really refreshing. I hope your experience in this fandom has been at least half as pleasant as mine, anon. Don't feel threatened out of speaking your opinion. If people don't like what you have to say, they can just ignore you - that's what the block button is for.

[karak9]

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing