frommyheadtomymiddlefinger

[frommyheadtomymiddlefinger]

"the thing about time is im not sure what happens next but i think ive seen this all before"

i tried to tell the future

and it passed me by without a second thought.

i tried to recall the past

and all i got was a raging headache

and an inability to sleep at night.

i tried to live in the moment.

and i already fucked that up.

words are failing me but i failed you so i guess i dont really care.

i dont feel bad about it.

you asked me to fix my brain-

that's not happening.

can you repeat that?

sorry, can you repeat that?

i'm sorry, i couldn't hear you, can you re[THE SKY IS FALLING/BLUE TEARS AND BLACK BLOOD/BLEEDING OUT FROM HOLLOW EYES]peat that?

oh haha! no one is following us i just get nervous.

yeah haha im such an anxious mess.

just anxiety, yeah.

what were you saying?

oh, what happened yesterday?

no[HEHURTYOUHEHURTYOUHEHURTYOUthereisnohopehewillkillyou]thing,

just felt a little

blue.

tears and black blood.

wait, where did you go?

fuck.

i guess i'll go[bleeding out from hollow eyes/speaking out from hollow lies/you were never one to reach out/check in/but honestly, i get it, i really can empa] home then.

i guess it is about time anyways.

maybe the fog will lift,

or maybe the crushing weight on my shoulders

combined with the poor structural integrity of the cavern in my chest

will finally compromise the bridge over the tracks

and i will be on track(s, grey matter splattered on gravel, blood dancing in the mix) to be home by 6:00.

the day forgot to let me know when it was ending

and when tomorrow was getting in

so i guess i have some time to kill.

yeah, it gets boring.

oh, you get it?

yeah, i forgot you are like me,

you can totally sympa[thize with a poor, rotten wreck/dealt a poor, rotten deck/never allowed a chance to breathe or a friend who might check/in to the hotel, out

to the after]life.

wait, no, fuck, sorry for that.

yeah haha i dont know what that was.

its been a long day.

what did you want to watch tonight?

oh, you just want to try living in the moment?

sure, we can try that.

maybe it'll go better next time.