#if i quit my job what would happen?
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graveyard-lovesong · 1 year ago
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Ugh why is being disabled so fucking stressful
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skunkes · 5 months ago
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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corvid-canidae-art · 4 months ago
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Main character lineup for a western AU of me and @gxdcomplex’s fantasy ocs! Celestine is a rancher, Atticus is his stablehand (who may or may not have a past he doesn’t want to talk about or why he’s run away from it) and Meadowlark is under their care.
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[Marrowsnap and Sienna are she/her, Carrion is they/she] And here are the Coyote Sisters’ leaders, the og coyote sisters! They lead a pack of werecoyotes (and all other people willing to travel with them who need a place to belong) and while they try to avoid conflict, they have some mischievous packmates who wind up out of line and go after a rancher’s herd or get into scuffles in town which is a headache for the Sisters to deal with. Because of this they often go head to head with Celestine and Atticus.
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Little unfinished comic I made about Sienna and Carrion finding a wanted poster about them. (Gristle was one of their packmates that tried to attack one of Celestine’s cows)
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(from this video)
#not a confession#helluva boss#the fact that they even mentioned Chaz just made me screech mentally#because... you know. if you've read my oneshot you know#but yes exactly. I also tie back to him the fact that Millie was so serious and untrusting during the flashback#(to be fair. being a mercenary is cutthroat business. but even while fighting and killing she seems a lot goofier nowadays)#how the timeline works in my head is#affair in Wrath. Chaz bounces to another ring and breaks her heart. she stays home for a while after that before moving to the city in Prid#she could've had her walls up out of a sense that the city slickers would only betray her#Chillie seems significant to me bc we've SEEN just how MUCH it takes for Millie to snap when it comes to loved ones and their bullshit#let alone turn from loving affection to seething murderous hatred#so you KNOW that whatever happened between her and Chaz WOUNDED her. or at least offended in a huge way idk#someone on AO3 wrote it so he cheated on her with her sister. like yeah that could do the job alright#though that does imply she loved him which is easily the biggest plot hole here. like. look at that thing#what is there to love#about Chazwick Thurman#he's an embarrassing roach with a dick complex#(also my girl Sallie would never have standards that low. please. she's also a lesbian now but that's another thing)#tbf Chaz and Blitzo are quite similar... except Blitzo has way less shallow writing... I wonder if that could be explored#her currently being so close to someone who is in theory strongly reminiscent of her ex. putting up with so much from him too#ah but I shan't keep talking Chillie. we'd be here all night if I tried to explain all my mental lore#isn't it funny how I've thought so much about them despite despising S02e03 and becoming physically ill by Chaz's sceentime#on my first watch#and then never watching it again#it's just the Concept of him alright. like shared ex of M&M who's a conman a loser a former mafia goon & whores himself to survive#who are you and how did you get here#plus the fact that he's a shark bc sharks are so cool. did you know threshers harm and even kill prey by whipping them with their tails#wish we could've seen that#I love it when anthros have their animal traits acknowledged#wow the tags here really derailed from the original screenshot. ignore them please 🙏
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cetoddle · 4 days ago
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i hate being sick for the obvious reasons but also because no one around me gives a shit. like i’m not expecting anyone to drop everything they’re doing to be at my side and do all my work for me or anything. but maybe at least an ‘aw that’s too bad :(‘
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jubileebloom · 8 days ago
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I aspire to be a lover not a hater. but
#long heavy exasperated siiiiiggghhh#I love seeing ongoing discussions around my blorbos#except for the fact that people canNOT stop being little haters#people talk about your favorite stan twin without bashing the other one challenge (failed. SO many times failed)#I get it people have favorites#but I think everybody should just stop. stop trying to compare the shit they've been through and arguing who had it worse#please I beg of you#first of all we don't have the full story for either of them and we never will#second of all. while their external experiences are very much important and some were very damaging#it's ultimately INTERNAL conflict that drives them both#and guess what sometimes internally you can be doing shitty even if everything seems fine on the outside#hell brain chemicals can go haywire literally because of bad luck and no other fucking reason#'oh Ford got everything he wanted out of college despite going to BMU he has no right to complain'#'oh Stan had somewhere to live for those thirty years and people who liked him for some of them'#okay maybe those periods of their lives were more stable than their respective drifter years#doesn't mean everything was automatically peachy#hell we don't know that Stan didn't occasionally secure a better job/place to stay at some point between pines pawns and gravity falls#we don't know if some of the dimensions Ford visited were more peaceful and hospitable#I'm not necessarily saying either of these things are true I'm saying WE DON'T KNOW#ugh I was going somewhere with this and then I got lost in a rant#ultimately neither of them would have settled if given a chance because they were after something more#I do think there's potential in exploring the moments of good that happened in the bad times and the moments of bad that happened in the#good times and I think that's actually way more compelling than 'everything sucked all the time for X twin for Y years'#nope still haven't quite gotten back to my original point#which is STOP IT WITH THE OPPRESSION OLYMPICS. STOP STOP STOP STOP#okay rant over
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autumnhobbit · 1 year ago
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me: yeah no i have depression and anxiety but they’re fairly well controlled idk why i’m having such a hard time all the time maybe it’s my own fault i just have to figure out how to do everything right while i have time to do it
me: *sees graphic on facebook*
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me: holy shit. it’s ocd. that’s it.
…..
why am i so DUMB
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devilsskettle · 9 months ago
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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flippedorbit · 2 months ago
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i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth
#Rasp Rambles#vent#my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life#suicide mention#like i’m genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i don’t want any of them to be#sad about me dying. i’d say the same for my family but i don’t they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#i’ve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful#even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didn’t stay that way for long. it truly#sucks so fucking badly that i can’t get away from any of them. i don’t have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues#and my lack of drivers license and car. i can’t financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the#store or my grandparent’s house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who i’m not even sure considers me a friend because#we haven’t gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i don’t get to do fun things i enjoy that aren’t internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their#damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when you’re living in a#house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me#a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know that’ll never fucking happen because again; she doesn’t fucking care enough#to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.
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stonesandswords · 3 months ago
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bbael · 7 months ago
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Oh I just remembered that very early during the pandemic or a little before idk I had a dream on which I was living on a beach town and working as a teacher and I looked very different (long dark hair, prettier, just more mature, normie & put together in general ?) and when I woke up was like haha that's never going to happen, I could never work at a school or get out of the gastronomic system, I'm doing this for life + moving out is impossible anyway with my salary. And now... 5 years later (that felt like much less??) I'm doing (nearly) all that :|
#i remember the feeling of knowing i didnt have time or resources to go into practice and i didnt want to either. i had had a crisis idk#2 years earlier about all that and bareky finished my lit degree#at the time#i was also working 12 hs shifts for less than minimum wage#ik 5 years seem like a lot but i also am not sure how i went slowly building up to where i am currently ;_#there had to be a gradual progress but i just think things were happening very suddenly and i was pushed into situations very thoughtlessly#when i didnt even want to be in them. and i just went with the flow only to not remain stagnant#like i quit bakeries and moved to other bakeries until i hit my archival job that gave me the push to both get serious about my#second degree and also being surrounded by so many ppl in professional fields and researchers made me feel bad abt myself so much that i#started doing better lmaoo#finally getting insurance after so long being in gastronomics (hell) was so good to me too....#getting treatment for my mental health took me out of the gutter too omg. thats more recent development but if i hadnt done that i feel lik#i would be rotting...#but yeah i was pretty hopeless and with no money. lived very poorly and rly without prospect even after getting my degree anddd yeah...#what im doing now seemed like the kind of things that a much more successful people would be doing. i felt much like a kid working dead end#jobs so i didnt have to move back with my parents#not like an adult at all#anywho i should write this on my journal. im proud of myself still :'3
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nate and trent during s3/post-canon has got to be like. a hilarious dynamic. not to mention nate returning to richmond and like. trent crimm is also here. they're like yeah he's our emotional support biographer now. yeah he's been around all season. we like him now. they make the world's most awkward eye contact before both immediately fleeing in opposite directions.
#actually i think they would get along i would like to see it#but also how do you reconcile you both did something you super regret to hurt someone you both care about a lot? and like#how exactly that happened? how trent quit about it and also BURNED NATE AS A SOURCE? how nate was the one who made the situation?#etc etc etc. but like also i dont think. like.#i get fanon of trent being all protective or whatever but i like to think he's taken enough cues from ted that he's also just like.#i get it. hurt people hurt people. and nates like what you dont hate me? you LSOT YOUR JOB but like#no. trent doesnt hate him. how could he#also this is made ten thousand times funnier in a tedependent fix it fic because nate comes back full of regret and crying and like#trent crimm--who WROTE AND PUBLISHED THE ARTICLE HE FEELS SO BAD ABOUT--is just. Also There.#vibing. everyone likes him now. how the hell--#and then when nates like [trying and failing to be casual] hey so um. why is. why is trent crimm here?#he gets the following answers:#a) he's writing a book about us! b) he's writing a book about ted! c) we think he and ted might be kissing. unclear#nate comes back to richmond and teds like oh trent? yeah hes my bf <333 and nates like hes your WHAT#also see: nate is a really sweet dorky and kinda anxious person and now hes kinda back there at this point except#hopefully with more self confidence and ability to stand up for himself#versus trent who always seemed so confident and cool. now letting himself be a sweet dork at the cost of being less confident/firm#like. i just think they'd be neat is all#let them bond over being dorks actually
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blueish-bird · 9 months ago
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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update i have to apply for my own job for the SECOND time in two years by wednesday and im taking my learners permit test on friday which means i have to finish absorbing the drivers manual by then. the way i am LONGING to walk into traffic.
#the driving thing is just extra stress but the applying for my own job AGAIN thing is making me absofuckingLUTELY insane. this process was#so psychically damaging for me to go through a year ago and the fact that exactly a year later i am doing it again and have to jump thru all#the same hoops and write a new cover letter and find new references and INTERVIEW with my colleagues and all that… like i appreciate this so#much bc basically what is happening is im getting a raise and will be converted to a regular employee (im contractual rn bc that’s all they#could do when i graduated). but like the fact that i am once again under the MORTIFYING psychic stress of my colleagues being the search#committee and me being u able to talk to them abt this or get reassurance and them having to treat me like they don’t know me and this not#being guaranteed and other people potentially applying and me having to compete with them… it is too much fucking stress for me to go#through. it’s just too fucking much. i am so mentally and emotionally exhausted and now i have to walk through fire AGAIN⁉️⁉️⁉️ i wanna KMS#like it’s fine. but also the existential dreaddddd the way i cannot bear to live through this one more time but i have to and im going to. 😍#purrs#delete later#like i get it and i know it’s to make it fair and equitable. but whyyyyy do they have to put me through this again have i not proven myself#time and time again is this job not QUITE LITERALLY designed for me to be in it. and it’s not merely an annoyance it’s like… actively a#stressor that is taking years off my life just like it did last year and the timeline is even more accelerated bc last year i had two weeks#to apply and this time i have FIVE DAYS!!!!! and i have to reach out to references and i can’t do that until monday bc it’s the weekend 😭😭😭😭#like LMFOAHDHSKDHSODHAJJB of course this is happening to meeeeee im going fucking insane. also i might have to do this a THIRD time someday#and i would have to get a masters degree for that too. so basically the only path forward is CEASELESS suffering and psychic agony. there is#no hope for women. fuck my stupid baka life. but also this is a good thing and also i have it sooooo good which is soooo unfair to everyone#else for example possibly wasting everyone else’s time who applies for this job. but also fuck my stupid baka life.#technically im applying for this job for the second time in 365 days. like it’s not even two years it’s that i did this a year ago and now a#year later im doing it again. LESS than a year later. it hasn’t even been a full year yet. help 😻👍#if february 9 2022 me fucking knew what HORRORS awaited her 24 hours from then and 3 months from then and 5 months from then and 15 months f#from then. she would have imploded LMFAOOOOOOOO
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cryptidapprentice · 1 year ago
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literally why the hell am i always so anxious to call out of work
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lesbiansanemi · 1 year ago
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Me: maybe 8 days off will fix me, maybe going back to work won’t be so bad. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s alright
Also me: *is at work for less than two hours and already Wants to Die* Ah. Great.
#this morning already frustrated me#because so much shit was done wrong or wasn’t done at all while I was gone#because I basically manage the department even though that’s NOT MY JOB#so ofc I come back and everything is on fire and everyone is one omg you HAVE to fix this we just couldn’t do it/figure it out 🥺#when it’s something that’s so simple they just didn’t wanna do it well or right#but also#the stupid fucking gm was like ‘hey I need to talk to you. it’s about your disability accommodation’#and I. a fool. got really excited like omg!! are they finally going to approve it!!!#no. no. he basically told me to get fucked and it wasn’t going to happen#he said I could WEAR A FAN????? AROUND MY NECK???? and use that for white noise but that was it????#what???? the FUCK?????#number one I cannot express how much worse a fucking FAN going in my ears all day long would just make my sensory overload 10 times worse#but also how is that not MORE of a distraction and ‘unprofessional’ than just letting me wear my fucking headphones#I feel like crying. I just want to not leave work with a developing migraine every day because of sensory reasons#and a part of me is like suck it up you’ve been dealing with this for a year it’s not actually a big deal#at least you CAN work and it’s not so bad that you can’t that’s a privilege#and like… yeah…. but I literally feel so drained and miserable every single day#and this stupid job makes me want to kms#but I can’t quit cuz the pay is too good#and it’s just so frustrating because they’re like ‘we’re such a good and diverse company we treat our employees so well’#and the general public thinks it’s a GREAT company#so I just constantly here about how great and awesome and inclusive they are#but they won’t even let me have the accommodation of wearing fucking headphones#something every other job has let me do….#and it makes me so mad on behalf of every other person who probably got told no over disability accommodations for even more important and I#intensive things#and I just. yeah. I kinda wanna cry#but as always I cannot cry because I’m so emotionally stunted that all I can ACTUALLY feel are pissed off and frustrated#anyways. I need to break something#kaz rambles
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