#I’m so solid now
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blueish-bird · 8 months ago
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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doctorsiren · 14 days ago
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My brain right now
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klaxonsynth · 8 months ago
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spreading my propaganda. otacon is taller than snake (plus other fun stuff)
(the “i know what you are” drawing was referenced from a drawing by @lemon-wedges)
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spooksicl-e · 2 years ago
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“a proper, manly embrace.”
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rancidsugar · 10 months ago
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pixlokita · 6 months ago
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Being in fandoms is weird because you can dislike a character in some aus and feel bad for them in others or like them in a few depending on people’s interpretations of them
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daredoodles · 1 year ago
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I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! the key to drawing matt murdock is 1950’s sewing patterns
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ghost-bxrd · 10 months ago
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So, now that we’re done with Grave Pretender let’s take a look at the fic roster and see what kind one-shot is going to be next… ✨
Definitely up there in the top 5 of potential candidates right now are
- Jason saving Dick and disposing of Tarantula (feat. @cyrwrites awesome drabble)
- Jason kidnapping Brucie
- Jason’s body spontaneously going into cardiac arrest every other day (the “Jason’s body works wrong after resurrection” prompt)
- the Talia spite fic
- the “batfam thinks red hood is a 40+ guy and dating Tim” prompt
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fadelbison · 6 months ago
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I love that the trauma free version of old school bl is just what if young gays were constantly engaged in shenanigans, what if they had gossip circles and meddled in each others love lives like fat, happy housewives, what if they made mistakes that were resolved as a community, what if there were many, many, many of them (gays, not mistakes) and they are all invested in each other’s happiness and personal growth.
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quibbs126 · 17 days ago
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So these are currently my two pieces of attempted Transformers art
First one was practice, 2nd was just something I wanted to draw. Debated putting them on different posts, but I thought might as well have them on the same
I’m starting with the Animated characters because it’s what I’m watching, and also I like the art style. Or I at least like how Optimus looks. I drew a Ratchet elsewhere on Friday but it’s on a physical sheet of paper so I can’t show it to you
It’s…coming along, I suppose? It’s not the best, but I suppose I should also admit to myself that I’ve literally never drawn a Transformer before. And for that, I suppose it isn’t the worst? Like it just looks kind of off
I am getting the hang of drawing Optimus though. I probably need to figure out how to draw the others though, and not just him
I think with the 2nd drawing in particular, I’m making the head too big. Old habits are hard to break, I suppose
But also another thing, I am struggling with the eye shadow things. It looks cool, and I’d like to keep doing it for that reason, but I struggle with making it look right. And by proxy, that goes for the eyes in general. How do people draw them?
Also how do you draw the bots in general? I have no clue how I’m supposed to pose them
But yeah, on to things I drew
The shocked Optimus in the 1st one has been in my head for a while now, I had to draw it. Context, crossovers between the canons have been stuck on my head a LOT. And I think I’ve already mentioned my whole idea of Animated Optimus being absolutely horrified hearing about the Transformers One Sentinel
Tragically, I couldn’t figure out how specifically to draw his expression. What you see there is the best I could do
Then we have the 2nd picture, which is just because I like the headless Sentinel episode, their dynamic there is amazing. Didn’t think I’d care for the second Headmaster episode, but it’s great for them
I’m still considering the whole Optimus/Sentinel situationship in current day, but I think I’d need to make it through Season 3 first before I can say for sure. But I still don’t yet see TFA megop (they basically haven’t interacted in Season 2 so far), so I’m still going with it
There’s probably more I meant to mention, but I’ve forgotten it in the moment. So take this
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stuckinapril · 1 year ago
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I’m happy for the little life I built for myself
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dykedvonte · 5 months ago
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Danse and Hancock work only after blind betrayal because it’s the equivalent of the one closeted person you kinda pity getting kicked out after being outted and you and your like 7 other faggot friends take them in and help them do a 180 on their outlook on life and personal style and get them to weed (possibly grape mentats in this case).
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nekropsii · 7 months ago
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wait gamzee was written in anti black way?? it kinda does make sense now that i think about it but i never got that perspective from just the comic alone
Hello, Anon. Hussie was a known Anti-Black Racist for years before Homestuck dropped - to the point of including Anti-Black Racial Caricatures in her comics and also flippant usage of the N-Word - and Gamzee is introduced to us as an impossible to understand, dirty, drug-addled, ugly, stupid teen with an absent father and a religious devotion to rap/hip hop. Later, it is revealed that hard drugs were the only thing keeping him from being excessively violent and abusive.
I’m pretty sure that is Anti-Black, especially coming from someone who was… You know… Anti-Black, and has portrayed explicitly Black characters in similarly cruel and stereotypical fashions.
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keep-qui3t · 28 days ago
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dear current mcsm fandom, is baynightwolf still a thing
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klaxonsynth · 9 months ago
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when the snake is solid‼️
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zaddyazula · 5 months ago
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obviously i love strangelove’s character but she wasn’t written well… as a woman or as a lesbian…
#i wonder whose fault that is!#yes they did a “good” job with the queer parts of her character (partly)#like her love and admiration for the boss and how she was flawed#but do we remember the tape with paz? when she was unnecessarily portrayed as being predatory?#yes paz was technically 24 but they all thought she was 14 so it doesn’t make a difference#there was literally no reason to portray a canonically lesbian character that way.#they did it at other times as well with her giving cecile private baths#like they seem to have went out of their way to make her seem predatory as many times as possible#yes parts of her character could be argued to have been written well. i’m not denying that.#but unfortunately she suffers from being a woman in metal gear! and then suffers even more by being canonically queer#also this may just be my memory but i think in peace walker you could go onto her model in documents or something and she had a model in a#bikini. like 😐#no woman in metal gear is written as well as the male characters are. and that is because of kojima being a fucking weirdo#so it does slightly annoy me when people choose to ignore that and acclaim the writers for being so “inclusive” or whatever other bollocks#because they weren’t. they were weird about queer characters in all the games.#and i’m talking CANON queer characters. because i’m very sorry but only a small minority of mg characters are canonically queer#and because everyone lives in mgs-queerland people assume because snake doesn’t get written horribly despite not being explicitly portrayed#as queer they think that canonically queer characters get the same treatment and they don’t#this is sort of the thing with raiden and raikov as well#in a slightly different way but the same vein#and i love headcanoning mgs characters as lgbtq+! i really do and i do it all the time but unfortunately it is not canon (for the most part#that’s enough of my rant for now#mgs#strangelove#strangelove mgs#mgspw#metal gear solid#metal gear solid peace walker#zad talks
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