#I’m so solid now
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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what y’all know abt mgs ⁉️ idk much but i like the blonde british villain (surprise surprise)
#metal gear solid#liquid snake#metal gear fanart#mgs#mgs fanart#my art#back to your regularly scheduled diego brando soon ☝🏻 needed this out of my system first#he’s my best friend’s special guy and i wanted to understand so i watched the source material LOL now i like him#I’m a little rusty bc i didn’t touch art for over a month but i think he turned out nice 🧡
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I salute you, Opposite fans
#ninjago#my art#Kai ninjago#Zane Ninjago#Ninjago fanart#Oppositeshipping#Opposite ninjago#They're pretty underrated. Solid 8/10#(Also. The little blue light indicates blushing on my Zane design👍)#(In case any of y’all are following me now for oppo: I’m sorry to disappoint but I’m not really the biggest shipper of em. I’ve interacted#With so much stuff that contains them that it’s rubbed off on me a bit. But just a bit.)#This post has now outperformed all my posts. Seems like the people really want their opposites#I typically average at about 30 notes…
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SO happy I’m taking a couple gap years bc I get to pursue all the things I wanted to pursue as a kid and I will go into med school so satisfied
#And it’s all sprucing up my app so it all adds up and everything is sunny and beautiful#And it’s making me all the more excited for med school and giving me such a solid window to abs ace the mcat#I feel like talking ab this too much is a jinx but having no responsibilities aside from studying and working on self development has been#Such a privilege even tho I’m tech still grinding#Like it’s different bc I’m grinding on my own terms now wrt research and studying and clinical hrs and volunteering#There are overwhelming days bc I’m doing a lot but overall this has been good for me#I did also graduate one early tho so that gave me a lot more leeway
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just drew Mark and Bryon and lemme tell ya- Mark was like so easy and so fun to draw, barely even thought about it, didn’t even sketch much underneath it just came out really nice first go.
Now BRYON ON THE OTHER HAND-
fuckin redrew him THREE TIMES and I’m still not happy. but I’m too tired to care so it is what it is >:(

Idk I’ve been halfheartedly referencing John Cusack because Bryon describes himself as looking like “a Saint Bernard puppy” and the closest face I can think of based on that is 80s John Cusack (although bear with me here, idk that many faces, and i only vaguely know what a St. Bernard looks like). Anyway- I say halfhearted because I don’t want him to be…directly Cusack either. Idk it doesn’t quite feel right n I dunno why??
Anyway it’s plain to see that the referencing was half baked because this Bryon does not look like John Cusack at all imo.
Idk I’m having a hard time balancing “puppy” and also “teenage hoodlum”…and movie Bryon is no help whatsoever because that is not Bryon to me at all…ugh I dunno. What do y’all h/c Bryon looks like??
#that was then this is now#rambling#bryon douglas#mark jennings#twttin#se hinton#art wip#I’m drawing the TWTTIN characters rn in the style of the angela drawing#b/c that style was so simple yet fun and I’d lowkey forgotten how to have actual fun w/ art tbh#(I mean I never hate it but I push myself a lot is all. & in an artstyle w/ hardly any shading I’m forced to just chill and enjoy it)#Also cos I’ve been doing a reread of TWTTIN so I can take notes for angie n the runaways n I have solid pictures of everyone in my head now#So yeah that’s a thing I’m doin ig
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You’re not into doing art anymore are you? :-/
Homie my dog died last week and I’ve literally been bedridden since then with a really bad cold. Cut me some slack 😭
#Pretty bad two weeks honestly if must say so#I’m STILL sick btw. It’s been a solid seven days now at this point#I’m over it. I’m done being sick I want to feel like a human being again#Also I’ve had the world’s worst art block for like three months. You gotta be patient with me I just need time#ESPECIALLY right now#I’m going to try and get to my tablet this weekend if I can. Hopefully I’ll start feeling better by then#Shima answers questions#Anyway to answer your question: Yes and no. Just be patient with me 🙏 Ya girl’s gotta recover mentally AND physically rn
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My brain right now
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the odyssey#bill cipher#not art#siren speaks#ive got my test on the odyssey / oedipus / medea today#i feel so solid on the odyssey ofc but it’s Oedipus and Medea that I’m a little less sure of#im just not brainrotting over those like i am the odyssey#my test is in 2 hours but i just wanna take it now#I hope the passage identification essay thing is on the Odyssey bc i could yap about that for hours haha
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spreading my propaganda. otacon is taller than snake (plus other fun stuff)
(the “i know what you are” drawing was referenced from a drawing by @lemon-wedges)
#mgs#metal gear solid#metal gear solid 2#solid snake#hal emmerich#otacon#raiden#2024#digital art#doodle dump#fanart#this also serves as a raiden appreciation post#when i played mgs2 and got to the part where you play as raiden i was like who is this twink where is snake.#but he grew on me so quickly and now i’m playing mgs1 and i miss raiden
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Just thinking about how for Luke’s parents every parents worst fear came true. Their son ran away, they haven’t had contact in months, don’t even know if he’s alive or where he is, and then one night they turn on the news and there he is, but it’s not because he’s a star. No. He is dead.
The last words that Luke and his mom said to each other were in anger. And we know that Luke’s dad wasn’t even home when he ran away as we can see him just pulling up in the driveway when Emily runs out.
Luke’s last interaction with his mom is him saying he never wants to see her again, but then up until his last days he regrets saying that and keeps looking for ways to reconnect.
But he never got to, because he died. And how did his parents find out? A news channel.
#this show fucked me up if you couldn’t tell#i sob every time I hear unsaid Emily#the fucking scene and you can just see the grief in emily’s eyes#I can’t fuck I just need a happy ending for all my babies#EXCEPT THAT WONT HAPPEN SINCE NETFLIX CANCELLED THE FUCKING SHOW#also consider this: after meeting Julie his parents do some research bc they wanna see like oh she lives in the old studio blah blah#and then they see the band#and Luke is there#and they’re just so confused#and we also don’t know if people can see the guys after the end when they became solid#but let’s just say they’re visible now#so there’s a bunch of introductions they change their last names and stuff#but then they’re performing somewhere and Luke’s parents attend#and then after they find him as they leave but they’re pushed away by the crowd#and Luke is just frozen because fuck those r his parents#feel free to add on#reverie’s daydreams#i’m obsessed#julie and the phantoms#jatp#Luke Patterson#Emily Patterson#unsaid Emily#julie molina#alex mercer#reggie peters
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#star wars#the mandalorian#star wars rebels#art#ursa wren#bo katan kryze#fanart#digital art#ursabo#ursa x bo#the brain works have been thinking about them a lot#I need to make more#AHHHHHHHH#they’re so cute I will implode I’m sorry#I need to make armorer ursa and no art now#no solider left behind#currently succumbing to insanity#I love Mandalorians
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Being in fandoms is weird because you can dislike a character in some aus and feel bad for them in others or like them in a few depending on people’s interpretations of them
#pix habla#it happened with William like I hated himmmmm and then my friends were like#he’s a dad 😔#and he was a good dad#and I’m like 🧍♂️ aw heck I can’t hate him too much then#and then he was so bad in other aus#he wasn’t even a good dad#and now I’m noticing that with more characters#and then I feel bad#I think it’s just about separating characters and aus#since canon isn’t always solid#sorry for overthinking oh my gosh I have been doing that a lot because I have nothing else to do
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wacky alternate direction for Joule- make her a heated boxcar to complement Volta being a refrigerated one. They’re not as common irl but there was a famous Lionel toy based on them, and the irl basis was just as bright!

They carried potatoes, using onboard stoves to keep them from freezing in New England. Potato hauler sounds hilarious but hear me out: potato batteries are a thing. It even pairs with how citrus products are among the most famous refrigerated car products and also can be used as improvised batteries!
Not entirely sure how much they were electric-hauled irl, but they weren’t far from the northeastern electrified lines so they likely were to some degree.
(as a tragicomic bonus, these cars were lost in a yard somewhere by Penn Central and bankrupted a ton of people when most of the Maine potato crop was ruined, which fits with the popular fanon that Joule has ADHD. Losing things has a notable history with them…)
I’m partial to making the Components based on fast freight, especially if it has ties to the electric lines of the northeast US. It’s a job up there with “subway” that’s almost exclusively the domain of electric trains since the power needed to move heavier trains quickly is very hard to achieve if you’re hauling your own fuel/engine around (see how the CC 40100s were 5-6k horsepower vs “2700” and that’s low vs newer electric engines)
#stex#starlight express#people who well acktually about volta having diesel generators would throw a fit learninf these had solid fuel stoves#(the vast majority of freight trains even now have car-mounted generators because they sit in yards unconnected a lot.)#head end power is rare but not nonexistant on freight trains. it’s only mildly sci fi for the Components to be HEP equipped#especially since they’re a short enough train one engine could supply enough (HEP systems are usually designed for powering ~dozen cars)#Rail electrification isn’t this puritanical thing it’s OP for powering engines/EMUs and janky and fascinating to supply to unpowered cars#(See the madness of axle mounted generators and separate generator cars on passenger trains before HEP became standard)#if people ever want a post on supplying electricity to coaches/freight i’m open to it (won’t be comprehensive since it varies SO MUCH)#it’s a widespread practical issue that’s invisible to many but effects so much and isn’t too hard to understand just obscure
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So these are currently my two pieces of attempted Transformers art
First one was practice, 2nd was just something I wanted to draw. Debated putting them on different posts, but I thought might as well have them on the same
I’m starting with the Animated characters because it’s what I’m watching, and also I like the art style. Or I at least like how Optimus looks. I drew a Ratchet elsewhere on Friday but it’s on a physical sheet of paper so I can’t show it to you
It’s…coming along, I suppose? It’s not the best, but I suppose I should also admit to myself that I’ve literally never drawn a Transformer before. And for that, I suppose it isn’t the worst? Like it just looks kind of off
I am getting the hang of drawing Optimus though. I probably need to figure out how to draw the others though, and not just him
I think with the 2nd drawing in particular, I’m making the head too big. Old habits are hard to break, I suppose
But also another thing, I am struggling with the eye shadow things. It looks cool, and I’d like to keep doing it for that reason, but I struggle with making it look right. And by proxy, that goes for the eyes in general. How do people draw them?
Also how do you draw the bots in general? I have no clue how I’m supposed to pose them
But yeah, on to things I drew
The shocked Optimus in the 1st one has been in my head for a while now, I had to draw it. Context, crossovers between the canons have been stuck on my head a LOT. And I think I’ve already mentioned my whole idea of Animated Optimus being absolutely horrified hearing about the Transformers One Sentinel
Tragically, I couldn’t figure out how specifically to draw his expression. What you see there is the best I could do
Then we have the 2nd picture, which is just because I like the headless Sentinel episode, their dynamic there is amazing. Didn’t think I’d care for the second Headmaster episode, but it’s great for them
I’m still considering the whole Optimus/Sentinel situationship in current day, but I think I’d need to make it through Season 3 first before I can say for sure. But I still don’t yet see TFA megop (they basically haven’t interacted in Season 2 so far), so I’m still going with it
There’s probably more I meant to mention, but I’ve forgotten it in the moment. So take this
#Will Transformers be my new main thing? Solid maybe#I want to try and get through all of it and there’s a lot to go through to do so#but I’m also still playing Cookie Run I just don’t have much to say on it right now#so I don’t really know#anyways#transformers#transformers animated#optimus prime#sentinel prime#my art#art practice
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I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! the key to drawing matt murdock is 1950’s sewing patterns
#I’ve been struggling to figure out how I want to draw him for so long#there’s never a solid visual of him in my mind but now I feel like I’m getting somewhere!#matt murdock#daredevil fanart#daredevil comics#eliott draws things
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The amount of people who came to tell me they started playing pmdeos over my ghost dad drawings. Only to find absolutely nothing but misery and backstabbing. I must be on par with Dusknoir-Pmd with my gaslighting skills
#I WONDER HOW THEYRE DOING NOW#I still think the au/hc is a banger but I also know that there’s virtually nothing Solid that even Implies that bond/relationship#so I think it’s super fucking funny. I’m sorry I like being delusional ❤️ I hope you come out liking the game I tricked you into playing
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So, now that we’re done with Grave Pretender let’s take a look at the fic roster and see what kind one-shot is going to be next… ✨
Definitely up there in the top 5 of potential candidates right now are
- Jason saving Dick and disposing of Tarantula (feat. @cyrwrites awesome drabble)
- Jason kidnapping Brucie
- Jason’s body spontaneously going into cardiac arrest every other day (the “Jason’s body works wrong after resurrection” prompt)
- the Talia spite fic
- the “batfam thinks red hood is a 40+ guy and dating Tim” prompt
#now what to write#or not to write#THAT is the question#so many options#I have like—- a solid twelve fics in my roster of future fics#these are just four of them#lmaooo#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#batfam#bruce wayne#robin#tim drake#red hood#fic#batman#ghost talks#yes I’m talking about the spite fic that one person harassed me for#Jason and I have one thing in common#we are petty as hell#i may be soft but I don’t take shit#batfam fic#no bashing or rudeness in this house thank you
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