#I’m so solid now
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blueish-bird · 7 months ago
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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klaxonsynth · 7 months ago
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spreading my propaganda. otacon is taller than snake (plus other fun stuff)
(the “i know what you are” drawing was referenced from a drawing by @lemon-wedges)
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spooksicl-e · 2 years ago
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“a proper, manly embrace.”
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rancidsugar · 10 months ago
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pixlokita · 6 months ago
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Being in fandoms is weird because you can dislike a character in some aus and feel bad for them in others or like them in a few depending on people’s interpretations of them
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daredoodles · 11 months ago
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I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! the key to drawing matt murdock is 1950’s sewing patterns
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ghost-bxrd · 9 months ago
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So, now that we’re done with Grave Pretender let’s take a look at the fic roster and see what kind one-shot is going to be next… ✨
Definitely up there in the top 5 of potential candidates right now are
- Jason saving Dick and disposing of Tarantula (feat. @cyrwrites awesome drabble)
- Jason kidnapping Brucie
- Jason’s body spontaneously going into cardiac arrest every other day (the “Jason’s body works wrong after resurrection” prompt)
- the Talia spite fic
- the “batfam thinks red hood is a 40+ guy and dating Tim” prompt
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kevin-the-bruyne · 5 months ago
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I love that the trauma free version of old school bl is just what if young gays were constantly engaged in shenanigans, what if they had gossip circles and meddled in each others love lives like fat, happy housewives, what if they made mistakes that were resolved as a community, what if there were many, many, many of them (gays, not mistakes) and they are all invested in each other’s happiness and personal growth.
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stuckinapril · 1 year ago
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I’m happy for the little life I built for myself
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dykedvonte · 4 months ago
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Danse and Hancock work only after blind betrayal because it’s the equivalent of the one closeted person you kinda pity getting kicked out after being outted and you and your like 7 other faggot friends take them in and help them do a 180 on their outlook on life and personal style and get them to weed (possibly grape mentats in this case).
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nekropsii · 7 months ago
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wait gamzee was written in anti black way?? it kinda does make sense now that i think about it but i never got that perspective from just the comic alone
Hello, Anon. Hussie was a known Anti-Black Racist for years before Homestuck dropped - to the point of including Anti-Black Racial Caricatures in her comics and also flippant usage of the N-Word - and Gamzee is introduced to us as an impossible to understand, dirty, drug-addled, ugly, stupid teen with an absent father and a religious devotion to rap/hip hop. Later, it is revealed that hard drugs were the only thing keeping him from being excessively violent and abusive.
I’m pretty sure that is Anti-Black, especially coming from someone who was… You know… Anti-Black, and has portrayed explicitly Black characters in similarly cruel and stereotypical fashions.
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keep-qui3t · 11 days ago
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dear current mcsm fandom, is baynightwolf still a thing
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klaxonsynth · 9 months ago
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when the snake is solid‼️
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zaddyazula · 5 months ago
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obviously i love strangelove’s character but she wasn’t written well… as a woman or as a lesbian…
#i wonder whose fault that is!#yes they did a “good” job with the queer parts of her character (partly)#like her love and admiration for the boss and how she was flawed#but do we remember the tape with paz? when she was unnecessarily portrayed as being predatory?#yes paz was technically 24 but they all thought she was 14 so it doesn’t make a difference#there was literally no reason to portray a canonically lesbian character that way.#they did it at other times as well with her giving cecile private baths#like they seem to have went out of their way to make her seem predatory as many times as possible#yes parts of her character could be argued to have been written well. i’m not denying that.#but unfortunately she suffers from being a woman in metal gear! and then suffers even more by being canonically queer#also this may just be my memory but i think in peace walker you could go onto her model in documents or something and she had a model in a#bikini. like 😐#no woman in metal gear is written as well as the male characters are. and that is because of kojima being a fucking weirdo#so it does slightly annoy me when people choose to ignore that and acclaim the writers for being so “inclusive” or whatever other bollocks#because they weren’t. they were weird about queer characters in all the games.#and i’m talking CANON queer characters. because i’m very sorry but only a small minority of mg characters are canonically queer#and because everyone lives in mgs-queerland people assume because snake doesn’t get written horribly despite not being explicitly portrayed#as queer they think that canonically queer characters get the same treatment and they don’t#this is sort of the thing with raiden and raikov as well#in a slightly different way but the same vein#and i love headcanoning mgs characters as lgbtq+! i really do and i do it all the time but unfortunately it is not canon (for the most part#that’s enough of my rant for now#mgs#strangelove#strangelove mgs#mgspw#metal gear solid#metal gear solid peace walker#zad talks
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deathnguts · 3 months ago
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A while back I saw a post thing about how like in a Bartylus and wolfstar situation when both couples break up after fights Remus and regulus sleep together and then Barty and Sirius sleep together and they like wrapped it up saying it didn’t matter they looked back and laughed and shit, yeah I’m gonna tell you why that’s not true and it’s a thought that’s tortured me for a month (tw, because genuinely this is a harrowing thought and I write it as such)
Barty sleeping with Sirius would be regulus’ thirteenth fucking reason. He wouldn’t be able to sweep that under the rug, he’d never be able to sweep anything under rug ever again. He’d never be able to even look at Sirius or Barty after that.
Because that’s Sirius. His Sirius, his brother. Who left him. Who hates him. Who he’ll never be good enough to be forgiven by. Who he’ll never be as good as. Regulus strives to be as accomplished as possible just to delude himself into thinking he might be near as good as Sirius is. Regulus will never feels he’s truly good in anyway way becaus if he was then certainly Sirius, his Sirius, would have seen it, right? Right?
And that’s Barty. His Barty. Who’s always been there for him. Who knows him like no one else. Who he’ll never be able to describe just how big his feelings are for the boy that entertains the idea that maybe regulus might be good. Regulus loves Barty more than anything. He knows Barty loves him more than anything. That’s the only thing he truly knows, it’s his lifeline. Barty is a lifeline and he lives in his heart and he means eveyrthing to him in a way that’s just as true as a fact of life because Barty is his life.
So the idea that Barty, his Barty, would even for a second think- let alone act on a feeling even close to that with Sirius, his Sirius.
Nothing will ever be regulus’ again. Regulus must truly be nothing. He must have been right. He must be awful, he must have never been good and Barty was lying. Or worse, he’d let Barty close enough that he saw how awful he was and left for someone better because Sirius will always be better.
This is it, regulus would think when he hears the news, or god forbid sees the evidence. This is what death feels like. The end of everything. It horrifying. He’s going to throw up. He needs to scream, but he can’t breathe. There’s a numbing cease of every function in his body that used to make him human, the color leaves the world and his sight is so blurry he can’t see and his ears feel pressure of water and he can’t hear anything and his mind is ringing in silence of every possible thought as his body acts on pure instinct and his heart physically hurts and it’s clawing at his ribs with a vengeance that will never be quelled.
And no matter how much Barty or anyone says he’s sorry or anything even close, they must be lying again and regulus can’t keep lying or being lied to and nothing will ever be good again and he’ll never be good and he never was and nothing is worth it if he has to continue living with this never ending hurt in his chest and it’s over everything is over.
If a betrayal like that ever happened to regulus I think it would genuinely break him, and nothing would be able to fix him.
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quibbs126 · 11 days ago
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You know on one hand, I want a sequel to Transformers One, but on the other hand, I feel like maybe the story works best if it’s the only one, and the future of it is left up to interpretation. Like any continuation would serve to weaken it
I don’t know why I feel this way, other than maybe Earthspark, the fact that I can’t decide where I want the story to go, and the (possibly paranoid) worry that expectations could be too high
Or maybe it’s because it’s been too long since I’ve seen the movie. Maybe I just need to watch it again to solidify that I want a sequel
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