#I’m so solid now
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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My brain right now
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the odyssey#bill cipher#not art#siren speaks#ive got my test on the odyssey / oedipus / medea today#i feel so solid on the odyssey ofc but it’s Oedipus and Medea that I’m a little less sure of#im just not brainrotting over those like i am the odyssey#my test is in 2 hours but i just wanna take it now#I hope the passage identification essay thing is on the Odyssey bc i could yap about that for hours haha
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spreading my propaganda. otacon is taller than snake (plus other fun stuff)
(the “i know what you are” drawing was referenced from a drawing by @lemon-wedges)
#mgs#metal gear solid#metal gear solid 2#solid snake#hal emmerich#otacon#raiden#2024#digital art#doodle dump#fanart#this also serves as a raiden appreciation post#when i played mgs2 and got to the part where you play as raiden i was like who is this twink where is snake.#but he grew on me so quickly and now i’m playing mgs1 and i miss raiden
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“a proper, manly embrace.”
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#sherlock hlv shooting script i hate you#‘a proper manly embrace’ moftiss i am outside of your houses and i am angry.#like the tarmac scene was already unbearable#and then i find out they were supposed to HUG#and THEN they follow the hug with some bullshit clarification like THAT#anyway i’ve been angry about it for a solid month now and decided they should hug#so this is them#hugging#yeah#my art#no @ because i’m lazy#so just please don’t use or steal lol#sherlock#sherlock holmes#bbc sherlock#benedict cumberbatch#john watson#martin freeman#fanart#fanartist#johnlock#could also be gen obviously#point is they should hug whatever the relationship status is
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#star wars#the mandalorian#star wars rebels#art#ursa wren#bo katan kryze#fanart#digital art#ursabo#ursa x bo#the brain works have been thinking about them a lot#I need to make more#AHHHHHHHH#they’re so cute I will implode I’m sorry#I need to make armorer ursa and no art now#no solider left behind#currently succumbing to insanity#I love Mandalorians
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Being in fandoms is weird because you can dislike a character in some aus and feel bad for them in others or like them in a few depending on people’s interpretations of them
#pix habla#it happened with William like I hated himmmmm and then my friends were like#he’s a dad 😔#and he was a good dad#and I’m like 🧍♂️ aw heck I can’t hate him too much then#and then he was so bad in other aus#he wasn’t even a good dad#and now I’m noticing that with more characters#and then I feel bad#I think it’s just about separating characters and aus#since canon isn’t always solid#sorry for overthinking oh my gosh I have been doing that a lot because I have nothing else to do
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I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! the key to drawing matt murdock is 1950’s sewing patterns
#I’ve been struggling to figure out how I want to draw him for so long#there’s never a solid visual of him in my mind but now I feel like I’m getting somewhere!#matt murdock#daredevil fanart#daredevil comics#eliott draws things
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So, now that we’re done with Grave Pretender let’s take a look at the fic roster and see what kind one-shot is going to be next… ✨
Definitely up there in the top 5 of potential candidates right now are
- Jason saving Dick and disposing of Tarantula (feat. @cyrwrites awesome drabble)
- Jason kidnapping Brucie
- Jason’s body spontaneously going into cardiac arrest every other day (the “Jason’s body works wrong after resurrection” prompt)
- the Talia spite fic
- the “batfam thinks red hood is a 40+ guy and dating Tim” prompt
#now what to write#or not to write#THAT is the question#so many options#I have like—- a solid twelve fics in my roster of future fics#these are just four of them#lmaooo#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#batfam#bruce wayne#robin#tim drake#red hood#fic#batman#ghost talks#yes I’m talking about the spite fic that one person harassed me for#Jason and I have one thing in common#we are petty as hell#i may be soft but I don’t take shit#batfam fic#no bashing or rudeness in this house thank you
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I love that the trauma free version of old school bl is just what if young gays were constantly engaged in shenanigans, what if they had gossip circles and meddled in each others love lives like fat, happy housewives, what if they made mistakes that were resolved as a community, what if there were many, many, many of them (gays, not mistakes) and they are all invested in each other’s happiness and personal growth.
#and I’m loving it I’m really loving it#we are the series#we are has stayed at consistent solid quality#for almost 2 months now and I’m so delighted
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So these are currently my two pieces of attempted Transformers art
First one was practice, 2nd was just something I wanted to draw. Debated putting them on different posts, but I thought might as well have them on the same
I’m starting with the Animated characters because it’s what I’m watching, and also I like the art style. Or I at least like how Optimus looks. I drew a Ratchet elsewhere on Friday but it’s on a physical sheet of paper so I can’t show it to you
It’s…coming along, I suppose? It’s not the best, but I suppose I should also admit to myself that I’ve literally never drawn a Transformer before. And for that, I suppose it isn’t the worst? Like it just looks kind of off
I am getting the hang of drawing Optimus though. I probably need to figure out how to draw the others though, and not just him
I think with the 2nd drawing in particular, I’m making the head too big. Old habits are hard to break, I suppose
But also another thing, I am struggling with the eye shadow things. It looks cool, and I’d like to keep doing it for that reason, but I struggle with making it look right. And by proxy, that goes for the eyes in general. How do people draw them?
Also how do you draw the bots in general? I have no clue how I’m supposed to pose them
But yeah, on to things I drew
The shocked Optimus in the 1st one has been in my head for a while now, I had to draw it. Context, crossovers between the canons have been stuck on my head a LOT. And I think I’ve already mentioned my whole idea of Animated Optimus being absolutely horrified hearing about the Transformers One Sentinel
Tragically, I couldn’t figure out how specifically to draw his expression. What you see there is the best I could do
Then we have the 2nd picture, which is just because I like the headless Sentinel episode, their dynamic there is amazing. Didn’t think I’d care for the second Headmaster episode, but it’s great for them
I’m still considering the whole Optimus/Sentinel situationship in current day, but I think I’d need to make it through Season 3 first before I can say for sure. But I still don’t yet see TFA megop (they basically haven’t interacted in Season 2 so far), so I’m still going with it
There’s probably more I meant to mention, but I’ve forgotten it in the moment. So take this
#Will Transformers be my new main thing? Solid maybe#I want to try and get through all of it and there’s a lot to go through to do so#but I’m also still playing Cookie Run I just don’t have much to say on it right now#so I don’t really know#anyways#transformers#transformers animated#optimus prime#sentinel prime#my art#art practice
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I’m happy for the little life I built for myself
#there’s a lot of ways to go#i am nowhere NEAR the dream life I really want to attain#or the dream person I want to be#but high school me#hell even freshman in college me#would GAWK at the life I have so deliberately made happen.#the solid network of friends I have#the confidence I’m slowly but surely growing into#the discipline I’m harvesting bit by bit. i do not claim perfection but I am 100% improving#I’m just happy idk! i don’t compare myself at all now bc I know I’m on the right track#especially compared to where I was like 5 years ago. such a different mind state from now#and no one can take that away from me#there’s a lot more to go. a lot more. but I thought I’d pause and be intentionally grateful for what has been accomplished#bc it actually puts things into perspective to look at the past rather than just look to the present. it creates contentment#i get so caught up being hard on myself for not accomplishing certain things yet#that I forget I pulled myself out of such a deep rut by the skin of my teeth#and that’s important to keep in mind even as you progress to your goals#anyway <333 happy content in my own lane etc etc#p
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Danse and Hancock work only after blind betrayal because it’s the equivalent of the one closeted person you kinda pity getting kicked out after being outted and you and your like 7 other faggot friends take them in and help them do a 180 on their outlook on life and personal style and get them to weed (possibly grape mentats in this case).
#Danse forced to live in the state house cause like Hancock really does fuck all all day and has the space for him#and it’s just being like Danse I’ll learn brotherhood knowledge if you trip on these ne mentats with me once#and then Danse immediately regrets it cause they talked for hours and he felt out of it but he liked not remembering hating his life#this is both a good and bad scenario cause all jokes aside someone as rigid as Danse would have#issues with self control especially after BB because he has no one telling him what to do and not to do#like he’s an adult and can decide for himself but it’s like a parent that refuses to give their kid sugar and now as an adult the kid eats#only junk cause it’s like I can do what I felt I couldn’t before and not knowing when to stop#he’d feel guilt when doing it but the thought ‘I’m not in the brotherhood anymore so fuck it’ would be in his mind a lot#cause I don’t think the others would realize a BOS solider might not be acclimated culturally to wastelander lifestyles and just let him go#wild cause it’s normal for them but yeah Danse would have way too many curiosity and sorrow killed the cat moments#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#john hancock#hancock fo4#paladin danse#am I talking about them romantically or platonically you can take ur pick
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wait gamzee was written in anti black way?? it kinda does make sense now that i think about it but i never got that perspective from just the comic alone
Hello, Anon. Hussie was a known Anti-Black Racist for years before Homestuck dropped - to the point of including Anti-Black Racial Caricatures in her comics and also flippant usage of the N-Word - and Gamzee is introduced to us as an impossible to understand, dirty, drug-addled, ugly, stupid teen with an absent father and a religious devotion to rap/hip hop. Later, it is revealed that hard drugs were the only thing keeping him from being excessively violent and abusive.
I’m pretty sure that is Anti-Black, especially coming from someone who was… You know… Anti-Black, and has portrayed explicitly Black characters in similarly cruel and stereotypical fashions.
#i need to redo one of my older posts on this because it has a section I now do not agree with but otherwise is very solid#(the section wasn’t about racism it was about some other thing that’s entirely irrelevant. but I’ve since realized it’s false-#-so I’m retracting that part of the statement.)#homestuck#homestuck meta#gamzee makara#cw racism#nekro.sms
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dear current mcsm fandom, is baynightwolf still a thing
#i literally just got reminded about them from some of my old mcsm mutuals#I’m so curious I haven’t thought about mcsm fandom drama for a solid year now#mcsm#minecraft story mode#okay anyways sorry bye
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when the snake is solid‼️
#my condolences to the people who followed me for lupin#i’m still so full of lupin love but i have mgs brainworms rn#i went into mgs convinced otacon was gonna be my fav but i was oh so wrong. i spednd the whole time playing mgs2 going hi snake. hi beautif#when i was a kid my favorite villager in animal crossing new leaf was snake and i talked to him so much he got annoyed#and now i’m playing mgs2 and i call snake on the radio over and over#NO SPOILERS PLS BTW ……#metal gear solid#mgs#mgs2#sons of liberty#metal gear solid substance#solid snake#otacon#raiden#fanart#2024#digital art#traditional art#the first 2 were (for the most part) both done on one layer btw and i’m very happy with how they turned out#holy shit ❗️metal gear emoji ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️#suggestive#?? i guess
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obviously i love strangelove’s character but she wasn’t written well… as a woman or as a lesbian…
#i wonder whose fault that is!#yes they did a “good” job with the queer parts of her character (partly)#like her love and admiration for the boss and how she was flawed#but do we remember the tape with paz? when she was unnecessarily portrayed as being predatory?#yes paz was technically 24 but they all thought she was 14 so it doesn’t make a difference#there was literally no reason to portray a canonically lesbian character that way.#they did it at other times as well with her giving cecile private baths#like they seem to have went out of their way to make her seem predatory as many times as possible#yes parts of her character could be argued to have been written well. i’m not denying that.#but unfortunately she suffers from being a woman in metal gear! and then suffers even more by being canonically queer#also this may just be my memory but i think in peace walker you could go onto her model in documents or something and she had a model in a#bikini. like 😐#no woman in metal gear is written as well as the male characters are. and that is because of kojima being a fucking weirdo#so it does slightly annoy me when people choose to ignore that and acclaim the writers for being so “inclusive” or whatever other bollocks#because they weren’t. they were weird about queer characters in all the games.#and i’m talking CANON queer characters. because i’m very sorry but only a small minority of mg characters are canonically queer#and because everyone lives in mgs-queerland people assume because snake doesn’t get written horribly despite not being explicitly portrayed#as queer they think that canonically queer characters get the same treatment and they don’t#this is sort of the thing with raiden and raikov as well#in a slightly different way but the same vein#and i love headcanoning mgs characters as lgbtq+! i really do and i do it all the time but unfortunately it is not canon (for the most part#that’s enough of my rant for now#mgs#strangelove#strangelove mgs#mgspw#metal gear solid#metal gear solid peace walker#zad talks
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