#if i could willingly see anything i want in my head as clearly as my vivid dreams id be unstoppable!!!!!

[brattyspence]

sugar lips | s.reid

summary: (tweaked from request a lil bc im difficult.) early seasons!spencer/reluctant!spencer is so enamored by your lips and works up the courage to request head for the first time tags: 18+, MDNI. early seasons!spencer, same universe as ‘u up?’, oral (m receiving), finger sucking (??), no y/n, limited yucky words, reader is referred to as ‘woman’ and ‘girl’, spencer is down rlly rlly bad, reader swallows… idk what else. this is pure filth a/n: first request ever, thank u anon! sorry it took so long. i hope this doesn't suck, this is my first time publishing smut in ages and it was SO hard to write! word count: 1.2k masterlist

Spencer, the lover boy to end all lover boys, who insisted he existed simply to worship the ground you walked on, had never ever made a request like this. If you had asked him a few weeks ago, he would have freaked. Spencer, who was so, so happy to simply exist in your orbit, who never asked for anything in return, who was more than happy to give give give and never receive, making this request.

Yet here you were, happily settled on his lap, the warmth of your body reflecting off him. You had been teasing him all night of course, but this was different. The soft murmurs of conversation between kisses seemed to be fueling something greater. 

“Did I smear my lip gloss?” You asked, pulling away slightly. 

God. The damn lip gloss. The bane of his existence. How could he ever treat you with respect and dignity when you were looking at him like that, glossy-lipped and doe eyed?

“Just a little.” His thumb trailed along the border of your lower lip briefly, catching on the sticky gloss briefly. “Still beautiful.”

He couldn't be sure what exactly happened in the next few seconds. He could have been responsible, sure, or maybe you had done it on your own accord, but somehow the pad of his thumb, which was just tracing your lower lip, had dipped in your mouth.

Germs. The term briefly crossed his mind, a distant echo. Bacteria and viruses and other things that were not designed for the human mouth, especially not for you, the woman he respected so much it hurt. Germs. Still, he couldn't finish that line of reasoning. Not when you were looking at him like that, and oh god, oh god, oh god–

He was so mesmerized by it. He watched the way you had so willingly taken his hand in yours and encouraged him along, gliding your way down and then back up. He watched the way you had slowly pulled away, leaving his skin damp and sticky with that damn lip gloss. Clearly he hadn't heard your question.

“Spence?”

“Hm?” You watched his eyes flit back up to yours.

A hint of a smile crossed your face. “Did that do something for you?”

“Did… that? Did that… do something for me?” 

“You got pretty quiet.” You still held his hand in yours as you pressed a kiss to his thumb again. “I could do it again.”

Spencer ten minutes ago would have been so, so upset. But that Spencer hadn't seen the spectacle you'd just created. He could only manage a slight nod.

You hadn't given him a second to finish processing the first part before he found you doing it again.

He was already formulating a protest, but it was weak. You could see it fizzle out with the string of saliva that snapped from your lips to his skin. 

“Hey,” you said, softly. “Talk to me.”

How on earth could he talk to you when you just did that?

“I just… wasn't expecting that,” he replied. 

“Mhm,” you nod. “But you liked it. You got a little flustered.”

“I… yeah.” It was useless denying it. 

You shifted in his lap, leaning a little closer. “I know you're thinking about something.”

His eyes narrowed slightly as he thought about it. You could feel his pulse under your fingertips. The gears in his head were busy ticking away.

“You looked pretty like that,” he replied, his voice soft. 

“With my mouth around you?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed audibly. “Mhm.”

You knew him well enough to know that he would never outright ask for something like that.

“Do you… want me to use my mouth somewhere else?”

He held your gaze for a second. You'd made this offer before, and he had aggressively turned it down in a string of “No, no, no baby. Don't worry about me”, but not this time.

“Please?”

You shifted off his lap in a split second before he could rethink his request. He considered it, of course, but you had settled down on the carpet with enthusiasm. He wasn’t even sure he was capable of turning you down when you were literally on your knees already.

You swiftly looped your fingers around his waistband, and you were surprised when he'd accommodated the motion, shifting his hips forward.

“Are you sure you-”

“Yes, Spencer. Would you please relax?”

His head fell back against the couch the moment your hand made contact. He was sure he couldn’t watch – not only was it defiling, but he was certain he wouldn’t last. Somehow, the second your lips wrapped around him, he threw all caution to the wind. 

An eidetic memory certainly had its perks, and he was damn sure putting all of them to use. This image, this entire moment, he knew would change him in irreversible ways, and none of them seemed to matter. 

You felt his fingertips gently brush the hair away from your face. He only hesitated for a moment before his hand came to rest on the back of your head, his thumb still rubbing circles against your cheek softly. He was looking at you with an incredible amount of awe.

“So pretty,” he breathed. “Jesus, angel. You look so–ah–so pretty.”

As you continued on, things only escalated. You had never seen him like his. Breathless, whiny, maybe. Desperate, absolutely. His eyes were heavily lidded, watching your every move as if missing the smallest detail would cause everything to crumble. He was half convinced that this was a dream, as he only ever let things like this happen in his imagination.

He was actively resisting the urge to tighten his hand in your hair, but you weren’t making it any easier. Your motions hadn’t relented in the slightest, and you didn’t exactly plan on letting up. 

“Baby–oh, fuck—baby, please,” he sighed. “You should… slow down.”

The words barely had a chance to leave his mouth before you reacted, of course doing the exact opposite. 

There were things Spencer never fully understood. Until now, he never understood the appeal of a blowjob. He didn’t do messy or sloppy. He thrived on selflessness, or at least he thought. But here he was, and here you were, changing that forever, nudging him closer and closer to the edge.

He had every intention of putting things on pause and finishing anywhere but in your mouth–but in the moment, his body did not want to follow his brain. 

He would feel bad about it later. 

You heard the momentary hitch in his breath. Then, the slight tightening of his fingers in your hair, and then the ever anticipated twitch against your tongue followed by the flood of warmth. 

After another minute, he finally managed to open his eyes again and draw his focus back in. 

You wiped your lips on the back of your hand, looking immensely proud of yourself at the same time. You could see the guilt hit him all at once as you looked up at him. 

“That wasn’t- I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, and-” 

“Spencer,” you sighed, with a smile. “It’s fine. You were fine. I’m fine. I’m very happy.”

You climbed back up onto the couch next to him, brushing your knees off before settling in. 

“Are you… are you sure?”

“Mhm.” You nodded. “Are you happy?”

He sighed, and looked away for a second before returning his gaze to you. 

“Yeah.” He nodded. You could detect the faintest of smiles. “Very happy. Thank you, pretty girl."

[autisticlee]

it's annoying when people think i'm stupid, boring, lazy, etc when I tell them I don't read. some people get so elitist about it and think they're above me and better than me because they can read 5 books in a week. "how can you not like to read! it's the best thing ever! *goes into an angry rant about why it's so good and I'm stupid for not doing it"

not everyone has the ability to enjoy reading, Karen. some of us are dyslexic and have adhd so it's nearly impossible for our brains to focus or retain any words we read and it's more effort than it's worth!!!!! some of us would read if we could do it as easily as you 😒

[moonstruckme]

I absolutely adore your roommate James series! It’s so tender and soft and sweet and it feels like the literary version of a hug 😭 you nail it every time!

Thank you sweetness!!! I am giving you a hug actually <3

cw: threatening with a weapon

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13

roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 1.2k words

Things have come to a point where James needs to admit to himself that he likes you as more than a friend. 

The problem is, he likes you as a friend so much. He’s no stranger to the dilemma of risking a friendship for something more, but he’s not a teenager anymore and you’re not Lily. James knows he wouldn’t be able to play it off as a silly, harmless crush with you. And, really, he wouldn’t want to. You bully your way into his thoughts all day long. Your sweet voice, the way you talk with your eyes, tiny moments like the way your lips parted when he’d first slipped and called you sweetheart. You’d schooled your expression into teasing exasperation almost immediately, but there had been a softening in your eyes that made him impatient to do it again.

If he told you all that, James would probably come home to find all your things gone. You can barely handle it when he tells you you look nice. He doesn’t want to lose you. 

So, against his wishes and all his instincts and proclivities, he’s going to let it lie. James wants to be your friend more than he wants to discover what else you could be together. He can love you this way, too. 

That doesn’t do anything to deaden the thrill that goes up his spine when he picks up his phone and hears your voice on the other end, though.

“James?” 

“Y/n?” He checks the number on his phone. It’s not in his contacts. 

“Yeah. Um, are you—are you busy?” There’s a wobble in your voice. James’ heart drops straight down to his stomach. 

“I’m not,” he says, stopping short of the field where his teammates are gathering and turning back towards his car. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah.” It’s clearly not, but he was silly to ask. Of course you’d say that. “I just, if you’re free, I was wondering if you could maybe pick me up?” 

That wobble hasn’t gone from your voice. James’ heart trembles in solidarity. 

He gets back in his car, starting the ignition with perhaps a tad too much force. “I’m on my way,” he promises. “Where are you, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m outside the Waterstones on Manor Road, you know where that is?” 

“I know the one, yeah.” 

Your voice sounds held together by fragments. “I’m sorry, it’s far.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, then regrets it instantly. This is hardly the time for a good-natured scolding. He turns out of the parking lot. “I’m coming. What’s wrong?” 

“I’ve—I’ve had my phone and wallet taken. I don’t have my key to the apartment.” 

“Taken?” James’ head buzzes like a TV turned to the wrong channel. “By who?” 

“A man, I—I don’t know. Um, I’m borrowing this woman’s phone, and I think I should give it back.”

His lungs feel small, panic choking him. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Be safe, yeah?”  

“Yeah.” A breath crackles through the phone. James wonders if you’d been choking, too. “Thanks, James.” 

“Just be safe.” 

The sun has dipped below most buildings by the time he gets there. It makes it difficult to see you, but James’ eyes work like a compass, finding your shadowy form curled up on the curb. The bookstore looks to be closed or close to it, no patrons walking by you as you sit with your knees bent close to your chest. 

You see his car pull up, and he’s halfway to you before you’re even standing. Your arms come around James as readily as his around you, your face squished willingly into the fabric of his workout shirt. Your breath seems to stutter out of you. 

“It’s okay,” he says, grasping the back of your head. He’s not sure if he’s talking to you, or himself, or either of you. He’ll tell whoever will listen. “You’re okay, sweetheart, it’s alright.” 

“Sorry,” you squeak. “I don’t know why I’m crying now.” 

“You’re okay,” James says again, just for good measure. His lips find the top of your head. “What happened?” 

“I think I was mugged,” you laugh. It comes out warped, completely unlike the sound he’s spent months chasing after. “This guy showed me a knife, and told me to hand him my bag and phone, and I just gave them to him. It was right out in the open.” Another jagged, heart-aching laugh. “I feel so stupid.” 

“Why would someone else mugging you make you stupid?” James lets you go enough to give you a little space, but his arms stay around you, his hand rubbing firmly over your shoulder blade. “Did you call the police?” 

You gnaw on your lower lip. It already looks bitten to shreds. “No.” 

He nods, taking a breath. James isn’t typically the responsible one in his relationships. He’s not good at knowing what to do. It makes him think of being thirteen and seeing Sirius all bruised and broken, feeling his heart break and knowing that he had to fix things despite the both of them being too young to have any clue how to deal with something so huge. James is an adult now, but he still feels too young. 

“Do you want to go home?” he asks you. 

You bite down hard on your lip, but your eyes gloss anyway. “Yeah,” you say, voice breaking. 

James pulls you close and gives in to treating you the way he wants to, kisses pressed into your hairline and tender words pouring from his lips. He gets you into the car and takes you home. 

Throughout the rest of the evening, you’re at once more reticent and more talkative than you’ve ever been. You’ll stare into the distance for minutes at a time, but then you’ll speak up, seemingly randomly, about some small fact you’d forgotten or a thought that’s been pushing at your consciousness. You tell him that you don’t think you could describe the man well enough to the police. That you have no concept of how long you stood around before you thought to ask for someone else’s phone. That you sort of wish you’d refused to hand yours over, because really what was the worst that could have happened?

“Well, he could have stabbed you,” James says.

“Yeah, but how often is that really fatal? And he might not have. It’s embarrassing, all he had to do was show me the knife and I turned everything over. I probably would have been fine.” 

“I don’t think you’re automatically fine if you’re not dead, angel. You were still at risk of being stabbed.” 

“I’d still have my phone and everything, though.” 

“I think you’re worth a bit more than that stuff.” 

“Mm, agree to disagree.” 

James does things he doesn’t particularly want to do—phoning your bank, filing a police report online, texting your landlord about a new set of keys—and several things he really does want to do. Once you’ve changed into your cozy clothes he practically swaddles you in blankets, putting a hot chocolate in your hand and that show you’re always watching on the TV. He makes you dinner, teases you until he gets a real smile, puts your mum’s number in his phone and texts her to let her know you’re okay. James touches you amply, lips on your cheek and hand smoothing the hair from your face and one knee pressing into your leg through the blanket. 

And you let him. 

[keepmycandleburning]

An addition to my post about how Voldemort is really invested in other people's love lives: Voldemort has no respect for people's privacy or bodily autonomy, and likes to insert himself into people's space and force people to have a more intimate relationship with him than they desire.

He uses this as a form of punishment, knowing it makes people uncomfortable, and also as a form of entertainment because he finds their discomfort amusing.

He lived on the back of Quirrell's head for almost a YEAR as a punishment after Quirrell failed to steal the Stone from Gringotts. A YEAR. IMAGINE WHAT HE SAW. Quirrell could not have done ANYTHING without Lord Voldemort seeing it and hearing it. I mean he was there when he was using the toilet, masturbating, etc etc. And imagine if Voldemort could also feel all of Quirrell's bodily sensations.

Voldemort forced Wormtail to care for him like a helpless baby, again for almost a YEAR, hand-feeding him and picking him up and God only knows what else, when they could have easily done the resurrection ritual really at any point in time—even if he truly wanted nobody but Harry, Barty Jr. could have brought him from Hogwarts.

Voldemort is clearly amusing himself with the situations at this time, making multiple jokes in just the couple scenes he's in:

'Care for my bodily needs for me,' is such an insane punishment to give Wormtail (definitely a punishment, for being a traitor which Voldemort hates and maybe other reasons) and I do wonder if he also did this to the Malfoys in DH, like forcing them to make him food and watch him eat and so on. It's just so weird to imagine that because he seems so inhuman but I mean, he does it in GoF so...

He also has Wormtail approach him and dress him by hand when he comes out of the cauldron naked instead of just bending down and picking up the robes himself:

He makes interestingly similar comments in the GoF baby era and at Malfoy Manor in The Dark Lord Ascending:

Asking his servants a question he knows damn well the answer to is 'it makes me uncomfortable to have this level of proximity with you,' and forcing them to falsely claim they have no problem with it and they actually want it.

He appears to have literally moved into Lucius's house with him, or at the very least is using it as a professional base. I almost always see people interpreting it as that Voldemort lived at Malfoy Manor, which I don't necessarily think has to be true, but I think it's a fine interpretation, and I enjoy it.

With both Wormtail and the Malfoys, Voldemort forces them to witness him in a domestic setting, forces them to claim they want it, and makes them aware that he knows that they hate it, which he knows is terrifying.

While he's at Malfoy Manor, he inserts himself into their family business (as discussed in linked post), commenting on a marriage in the family, speculating on what children the couple is going to have and what relationship the children will have with the Malfoys. We can see he's clearly using this to amuse both himself and the group of Death Eaters, as he makes multiple jokes (implying Bellatrix may be happier about her family member marrying a werewolf than she is about Voldemort's presence, asking Draco if he is going to babysit the cubs) and allows the DEs to laugh.

He also turns Bellatrix's complimentary but not overly inappropriate comment into what I think is unquestionably a sexual innuendo, and then immediately intentionally embarrasses her and induces a group of almost all men to laugh at her:

Regarding Bellatrix, there's often a misconception of viewing Voldemort as someone who would not stoop to a certain level of bodily intimacy or give up his own privacy—but he shares an entire body with Quirrell, he willingly gives up all of his autonomy/privacy with Wormtail, he even rises out of the cauldron fully nude (could have been done privately, I mean the Riddle House is right there, just carry the blood up the hill) and forces Wormtail to again interact with his naked body (and his real one now, not just the baby one) to dress him. So yeah he very much would, and he does, over and over. Voldemort gets bottle-fed and probably diaper-changed for 11 months but noooo he'd never have sex. Be serious. Voldemort takes every physical intimacy he's offered and much more.

Also just want to note that Voldemort is prone to discussing people's personal lives also in situations where it is wanted. For example, Barty Jr. reveals at the end of GoF that they clearly had some personal conversations about Barty's relationship with his father where Voldemort also offered information about himself. Voldemort definitely seems to know Bellatrix personally, and I would very much guess they've had personal conversations. And also the conversations with Snape about Lily (see last post too)—when Snape comes to him about sparing her, they have a thorough enough conversation that Voldemort believes Snape just 'desired her' and then they follow up later about how there are better women for Snape. He likes other people's business!

Overall, I very often read Voldemort as doing things for a major purpose of entertaining himself. He seems to find amusement in many different situations he's in and make jokes to himself and others. His tendency to overstep boundaries of bodies and personal space—both intentionally and by necessity—is one of these things.

[m0llygunn]

deathbed confessions (eddie munson x fem!reader one-shot)

summary: cold and flu season hits you hard but luckily you have your best friend eddie to take care of you. If the cold medicine makes you admit a few things... eddie sure isn't complaining.

contents: 18+, best friends to lovers, r is dramatically sick with a cold (talks about dying but it's just drama), fluff idk a/n: guys i am so sick help me i had to lay on the bathroom floor after braving a shower because i thought i was gonna die (but also i wrote this so maybe im ok) wc: 4.4k+

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Holy shit, did Halloween come early?” Eddie snickers from the door of your room.

All you can muster up is a low groan and that alone makes you feel like your head is on the brink of explosion. 

“Jesus, you’re really sick, huh?” he says with the huff of a laugh.

You answer with another groan. Yes. You are 'really sick'.

“Can I do something to help?” he replies, the first hint of empathy appearing in his voice.

“Put me out—” you interrupt yourself with a sniffle followed by a phlegmy cough. “—out of my misery.”

You were supposed to be seeing some double feature with Eddie tonight but yesterday, right before bed, you felt the slightest of tickles in your throat. By morning you were the living dead with everything from your big toe to your forehead aching in one way or another. You called Eddie and before you could even mention that you were sick, he knew from your stuffed up voice. 

No matter how many times you told him you’d be fine he was strangely insistent in checking on you at the very least. By the end of the call he’d quickly worn you down and you told him that he has the spare key and he can do whatever he wants but if he gets sick that's his fault— a little mean but arguing was the last thing you felt like doing.

From the time you hung up to now— which has only been a handful of hours, you’ve gotten substantially worse. Earth shatteringly worse. So terribly worse that the simple task of opening your eyes has been too much effort. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, and your lungs are just begging for salvation. That’s why when Eddie called twenty minutes ago letting you know he was on his way you told him no. It would have been wise if he listened to you but instead he replied ‘too bad’ and abruptly hung up the phone. 

Cut to twenty minutes later he was at your door, letting himself in. He was willingly walking into his very own death sentence. He clearly thought it was more of a joke than anything.

You hear Eddie’s tell-tale gait as he walks further into your room. You assume that he’s standing over your bed, maybe a hand on the back of his neck, maybe a hand on his hip. Mustering the efforts to confirm your suspicions would take too much of your very limited energy so you continuing laying in your bed, not doing as much as opening an eye.

You hear the ruffle of his hair and he definitely is rubbing the back of his neck as he gauges what to do. 

“So…do you want, like, medicine then?” he asks. 

“A gun,” you croak, earning a deep belly laugh from Eddie.

“At least your humour’s still intact, that’s good to know,” he says, sitting down on the edge of your bed.

You try to shuffle over to make room for him, but that effort alone makes you wince.

“Call an ambulance,” you whine, sniffling pathetically. 

“Really?” he asks, a genuine nervousness creeping into his voice. You feel his hand tug at the blanket you’ve cocooned yourself in, revealing your face for him to see. If you were more cognizant maybe you’d care about Eddie seeing you like this, but you’re too far gone to think about that. 

“No,” you answer, nodding your head up and down in contrast to your answer, earning a huff of relief from Eddie. 

The blanket slackens from his pull and the bed dips deeper as he leans in further to get a better look at you. Once again, if you were more cognizant you’d probably rather he didn’t, but you wouldn’t have the will to fight it anyways.

“Did you take anything?” he asks. 

“It’s been a few hours.”

“Did you eat?”

“Yeah, whipped up a quick 4 course meal earlier, michelin approved of course,” you mumble. You contemplate cracking an eye open to see his reaction but you don’t. 

“Right, so no food.” 

“No, surprisingly not that hungry when you’re on your deathbed,” you say, sniffling.

“Tell me you’ve at least had water,” he says and from his tone you know that he already knows the answer. 

“I had water until the bottle was empty, then I decided I’d rather succumb to death than get out of bed,”

“Funny, funny girl,” he says dryly, obviously not impressed by your answers. 

“Tombstone quote,” you say weakly, hoping that Eddie gets what you mean. He laughs softly and you consider that enough of a success. 

You hear the slightest bit of shuffling, not Eddie getting up but more like he’s looking around your room. Whatever state it’s in, you couldn’t even work up the courage to care. 

“Do you want a movie on or something?” he asks, breaking the lull in conversation. 

“Would you do that?” you ask, tilting your face towards him despite not opening your eyes. 

“Oh yeah. I’m giving you the mortally ill special— the deathbed works, if you will,” he says, and you can tell he’s smiling. You do your best to smile back but it’s weak and probably looks more like a grimace. 

You feel shuffling before the bed rises from Eddie standing.

“Okay, so I’m gonna get you medicine first. Then movie, food, and whatever else, deal?”

Your lower lip pouts out appreciatively for the boy you’ve called your best friend for forever now. If you weren’t deathly ill, you’d kiss him.

“Thank you, Eddie,” you whisper, voice getting caught in your throat for an entirely different reason than your cold this time. 

He mumbles back some version of ‘don’t worry about it’ before he’s off, leaving you in the quiet of your room with only your breathing, coughing, and sniffling breaking the silence. It’s barely a few minutes before you hear his footsteps and the edge of your bed dips again. 

“This is what you took right? The cold and flu medicine?”

“Mhm” you hum.

“You have nasal congestion?”

You sniffle loudly and nod.

“Right. Nasal pain, sinus congestion, and sinus pain?”

You hum again, catching onto the fact that he’s reading the symptoms off of the box. 

“Chest congestion?”

Weakly you swat your hand out trying to find Eddie. When you do, you give him the weakest of taps. “Too many questions,” you muster. 

“Well, I know you’re joking about dying but I don’t want to actually kill you,” he says. You hum again.

You hear him fumbling with the cardboard before fumbling with the plastic pill packaging.

“Do you wanna sit up?” he asks.

“I want to die,”

“Well you can’t do that so I’m gonna help you sit up, okay?”

Eddie starts tugging at the blanket and you let your weakened limbs go limp, undoubtedly making the task much harder for him but he doesn’t say anything. Eventually, he pulls you up by your underarms, propping you up against your headboard. 

When you feel his cool hands on your forehead, pushing your hair back and out of your face, you open your eyes for the first time since Eddie got here. 

“There she is,” he laughs lightly, still pushing back the disheveled mess that is your hair.

“Your hands feel nice,” you whisper, focusing on the coolness on your skin. Before you have a chance to really absorb the relief of his hands on your skin, he pulls away, grabbing for the water he had set down on your bedside table. 

“Yeah, you’re really hot,” he replies, passing the water to you.

“Tombstone quote,” you say, catching his eye, making him laugh again. With a shaky hand, you take the water.

“Funny and hot, that’s a killer deal.” He hands you the little cold and flu pill and you place it in your mouth, swallowing it down with small sips of the cold water that feels like ice going down your throat. 

You redirect your gaze to Eddie, “you’re gonna get sick, that’s the real killer here,” you say. 

“I’ll be fine,”

“You don’t want this cold, trust me,” you say, taking another sip of water before holding it out to Eddie. 

“I’ll be fine,” he repeats as he takes the water, putting it back on your bedside table. 

You nod. You appreciate Eddie’s help more than anything. Fending for yourself wasn’t exactly going so well— clearly.

“You had this with your other stuff, do you want it?” he asks, holding up the vicks vapor rub.

When you felt the cold coming on you went to the pharmacy and picked up a few things just in case. The vapor rub was on sale and you bought it on a whim but haven’t tried it yet.

“Do you think it really works?”

“Wayne used to put it on me, I guess it does?”

“Where do you put it?”

“On your chest or back,” he answers, looking at the fine print of the packaging. “Yeah, it says chest, throat, and back.”

You open your mouth to reply but instead feel the creeping up of the tickling in your throat. Turning the other way, you do your best to not cough all over Eddie. Sucking in a deep breath, you only trigger another cough that divulges into one of many coughing attacks that you’ve had today. When you’re finally done, you drop your head to the back of the headboard in defeat. 

“C’mon, let’s try it on your back for now,” he says, putting a hand on your shoulder encouraging you to lean forward. You move how he wants you without protest.

“I’m just gonna lift up your shirt a bit, okay?” he says, you nod but he pauses, fingers just barely slipping under the hem of your shirt.

“Eddie, with the way I’m feeling, you could see me butt ass naked right now and I could not care less,” you say. 

He snorts a laugh before his cool fingers trail up your spine giving you tingles that make you shiver. “Sorry,” he hums but you shake your head. His hand makes contact with your upper back, rubbing the ointment on your skin and it honestly feels incredibly soothing. Whether it’s the rub or the physical contact, you’re not sure, but you’re not questioning it either.

The noise that comes out of you could have been a moan had you not been congested. Instead it comes out like a low, stuffed up groan— not unlike a movie zombie. 

Eddie rubs a few more circles on your back before his hand travels back down your spine. 

“How’s that feel?” he asks, helping you sit back up straight.

“So fucking good and like I need you to rub my back like that again,” you say, resting your head back against the headboard. Maybe you put a little too much conviction in your words but that truly felt amazing.

The room is silent and you blink open your eyes to see Eddie holding the tub of rub in his hands, paused halfway through closing it. It takes a moment for him to look up at you but when he does, he smiles softly.

“What movie do you wanna watch?”

Had you not been distracted by your sickness, you might have noticed the faintness of a blush spreading across the tops of Eddie’s cheeks. Coughing and forcing air back into your lungs takes up every ounce of your consciousness though, so you don’t notice. 

You shrug your shoulder taking a deep breath, “anything, I’ll probably pass out from the medicine anyways,” you reply, turning away again to cough. 

Eddie hums before he’s moving to your dresser opposite your bed, angling the TV for you to see it better. 

“Sixteen Candles, Children of the Corn, Gremlins, Teen Wolf?” he says, listing off the titles of the different tapes you have sprawled next to the vcr. 

“Any.” 

“Gremlins seems kind of relevant,” he says, pulling open the clamshell box.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask. Eddie turns to you, smirk spreading across his lips.

“Nothing,” he sings lightly. He turns away from you, pushing the tape into the player and then pressing the combination of buttons to get it working. 

“You better not be implying that I look like a gremlin because—” you interrupt yourself with another cough that quickly divulges into yet another coughing fit— worse than the last. 

With each cough being so strong it makes your head pound. You don’t notice Eddie crossing your room or him settling back on the edge of your bed. You only notice his presence when he’s encouraging you forward, hand rubbing your back again. 

When your coughing finally calms down enough for you to take a good breath, Eddie brings the glass of water up for you to take a sip. You take the cup in your hands, guiding it to your mouth. At the same time, Eddie never fully lets go of the cup, making sure it doesn’t spill. You take a drink, nodding when you’re done and he sets it back down, hand still running up and down your back. 

“It’s probably just the rub working, getting all that nasty stuff out,” he says softly. 

You nod again, letting your head fall to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. It’s probably not the smartest idea to be so close to him because you're pretty much sentencing him to his demise, but with how terrible you feel you’re desperate for anything to make it better— and right now the only thing making anything better is Eddie. 

“The medicine’ll kick in any minute and you’ll feel much better, okay? I’ll go get you something to eat and then I can rub your back some more. How’s that sound?” he says softly, brushing the edge of your face with his chin as he tilts his face downwards towards yours. 

Your lower lip pouts out again and you feel your eyes water behind your closed lids. Maybe you were already hyper emotional from feeling so sick, but Eddie being so sweet is also doing a number on you.

“Sounds really nice,” you whisper, sucking in a breath.

“You’ll be okay,” Eddie whispers, hand switching from rubbing up and down your back to rubbing circles at the top of your back. “I’ll take care of you, I got you.”

Before the tears in your eyes have a chance to breach your waterline, Eddie’s shifting beside you, leaning you back against the headboard with the promise of being quick while he gets you food. Only once he’s gone and you’re left alone in your room do you notice Gremlins has already started playing. Opening your eyes, you spare a few glances at the screen that distract you from your teary eyed state.

As Eddie promised, he was pretty quick in his return. You could hear him the whole time, kitchen utensils clanking and cupboard doors closing. Maybe all concept of time is lost on you right now, but it seemed like barely any time had passed before he was taking slow, careful steps back towards your room.

“Alright— got that soup you like, got crackers, and got you some juice,” Eddie announces as he situates the dishware on your bedside table. “I even made sure not to warm the soup too much so you can eat it right away,” he says.

Eyes closed again, you don’t know what you expected him to do but him manhandling you took you by surprise. A hand slid behind your back and another under your upper thighs, he was sliding you right over on the mattress.

“Just giving myself some space here,” he says absentmindedly as he fixes your blanket around you. He quickly settles in next to you before grabbing the sleeve of crackers and settling them in front of you and grabbing the bowl of soup.

Sitting with his legs stretched out next to yours, you let your head dip to his shoulder again, this time like a silent thank you where you cozy your head against him, not unlike a cat.

“For the record, you’re more like Gizmo,” he says, a tease intruding in his voice.

“Hm?” you hum questioningly.

“You don’t look like a gremlin, you’re cute like Gizmo,” he says.

You sink your face further into the crook of Eddie's shoulder, lip jetting out once more. He’s done nothing more than call you a cute gremlin rather than an evil gremlin, yet you feel yourself turning misty eyed yet again. This time you squeeze your eyes shut, closing them on purpose, hiding your sickness induced emotions.

“Soups gonna get cold,” Eddie says, twisting his neck to look at you again. “C’mon, it’ll be better for you if you eat it warm,” he says, using his free arm to move you.

Once you’re finally propped up again in an appropriate position to eat, you feel Eddie’s hand on your cheek— no doubt becoming aware of your tears.

“You okay?” he asks softly, thumb rubbing under your cheek.

“You’re being so nice to me,” you explain, sniffling back your need to cry.

“Just taking care of you. Want you to feel better,” he replies, keeping his voice quiet. 

“Thank you, Eddie.”

“You don’t gotta thank me, just gotta eat your soup, okay Gizmo?” Eddie says, making you snort out a snotty laugh before sucking it all back in with an apology that he quickly dismisses. 

You take a few breaths, getting your tears under control. Shifting your focus to the soup, Eddie holds the bowl close to you while you slowly feed yourself spoonful after spoonful. 

“Crackers?” Eddie offers.

“Maybe one.”

“How ‘bout two?” he replies, peeling back the plastic and pulling two out for you. You nod softly before taking them from him. 

You feel yourself running out of energy and it’s exasperating that all it took was lifting a spoon to your lips a measly few times. When you let the crackers sit in your lap for too long, Eddie turns to look at you, resting the bowl of soup down in his lap. 

“Y’okay?” he asks.

“Tired,” you answer. 

“Just finish those and you can be done, okay?” he says, meeting your gaze. You shake your head.

“Can’t,” you reply.

“You can,” he says, turning his torso to put the bowl of soup on the table. He turns back around, reaching for the crackers in your hand. “Know you can,” he repeats, bringing the crackers to your lips.

“Eddie—” you try to protest.

“Bite,” he says, cutting you off and nudging the cracker into your mouth. 

You bite, giving into him. It feels weird being hand fed. It’s probably even weirder when two bites in you close your eyes in an effort to conserve your energy. Regardless, Eddie doesn’t say anything besides positive affirmations about how good you’re doing which you really, really appreciate. 

“How about you drink some of this,” he says, reaching for the glass of juice as you chew the last bite of cracker. “Then I’ll help you lay down and I can rub your back s’more?”

“You don’t have to if you wanna go home, you've been here a long time,” you say, swallowing the dryness of the cracker down. 

Eddie lifts the cup of juice to your lips, tipping it back for you to sip at. When you take more than a few drinks, you lift a hand lightly pushing the cup away. Blinking your eyes open you look at Eddie as he returns the cup to sit with the other dishware on your bedside table. 

“I’m serious, Eddie. You can go home if you want,”

“Don’t want to,”

“You’re gonna be— you interrupt yourself with a yawn this time. “—gonna be so sick,” you say groggily.

“Just let me cuddle you, you know you want it,” he says, a teasing tone hinting in his voice. You blink open your eyes again to see a genuine smile as he looks at you—one that shouldn’t be there considering how gross you feel and are sure you look. Despite that, it’s there and you do want cuddles so you nod softly, making a weak, sad attempt at getting closer to Eddie.

Eddie meets your attempt by gently pulling you down the mattress. He maneuvers you to have your head resting on his chest while his arm snakes around you, rubbing circles on your back. With the sleepiness settling in and your cold symptoms dialing back due to the medicine, you can’t help but hum happily. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he says quietly.

It feels beyond good. Good is an understatement. Having him take care of you like this is making you feel mushy and only highlights your feelings for Eddie. In combination with your partially delusionally, sleepy state the only thing on your mind is expressing your feelings, all of them true no matter how far out of it you are at this point. 

“Eddie, if I die, just know that I love you,” you mutter into the fabric of his shirt. 

“That’s just the cold medicine talking,” Eddie laughs softly. You find the energy to shake your head.

“Nuh-uh, love you,” you repeat. “Love you so much.”

It’s faint, maybe he whispered it or maybe it’s the fact that you were slipping into sleep but you heard it. 

“I love you too,” he says quietly. 

As if those words gave you a short lived second life, it had you perking up, desperately needing to clarify just in case he didn’t understand. 

“But Eddie I love you as my best friend but also more than that— I love you so much.”

He leaves you in silence but you don’t have the clear consciousness to overthink it, you just keep talking.

“I don’t even care if you don’t like me like that, I love you Eddie.”

“I love you too. Love you a lot, but I think we should talk about this when you’re not tired and on cold medicine, okay?” he whispers softly. 

As your thoughts start to drift, you focus on the first half of Eddie's sentiment. He loves you— and he loves you a lot. With that on your mind, intermixed with the comforting friction of his hand on your back, you fall into the deepest and most comfortable sleep of your life despite being so sick. Eddie loves you. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Arguably, the best thing that came out of your cold was your confession. It was bound to happen eventually and although it did sort of seem like a deathbed confession at the time, it was genuine— that of which you clarified for Eddie. To your fortune, he also clarified that his reply was true as well. Beyond that, you were still sick and neither of you had done much more than just sharing those little words that one night. So yes, arguably, that's the best thing that came out of your sickly state; however, in your opinion, you think the best thing that happened was that you got Eddie sick too. 

It was less than a day after you started feeling normal again that Eddie was running a fever. He ended up staying at your place for the majority of your sickness but he had left once to get some things for himself. Since he had his stuff here already, you offered for him to stay over at yours while you returned the favor of playing doctor. 

Eddie took on a much different position as a sick person than you did. Undeniably, you both were on the dramatic end of things but while your cynical humour came out during your time being sick, Eddie was much different in how expressed himself.

Normally, a very touchy feely person, his affectionate side heightened tenfold while he was sick. He was all grabby hands, wanting you closer to him. Maybe it was because the two of you had broken the touch barrier while you were sick or maybe Eddie just turned into a touch deprived baby when he was sick, you’ll never know, but you didn’t deny him of the cuddles that you so dearly appreciated while you were under the weather. 

The most interesting part— which shouldn't have came as a surprise, was that not only did he appreciate holding you, but he intensely appreciated you holding him, whether that be hands scratching his head as he rested it on your stomach, or your arms wrapped around him from behind making him the little spoon. Additionally, he was also incredibly affectionate with his words, constantly telling you how grateful he was for you and how much he appreciated you. 

Your favourite confession came late one night, probably at the peak of his sickness. Fairly similar to your deathbed confession, but a moment to remember regardless.

You had just finished helping him eat, similar to how he had done for you, and were cuddling with him, smoothing your hands over his side as he rested his head on your chest. 

The medicine was kicking in, making him drowsy, eyes fluttering shut as he let sleep take him over. He had kept babbling random thoughts but as he got more and more tired he was eventually reduced to heavy breaths. That was, until he titled his face up to yours. You looked down at him, meeting his sleepy eyes.

“I love you,” he said. “Love you so much.”

“Love you too, Eddie,” you replied, smiling.

“But I love you so much,” he said, voice returning to its babbling cadence. “Love you so much I wanna kiss you and love you and—” his babbling started to slowly fade as his head got heavier on your chest. You couldn’t help but laugh softly as your heart swelled.

You smoothed a hand over his face, brushing back his hair as you stared at him with nothing but love for your very, very sick boy. Like you had given him a second wind, his babbling started up again. 

“Wanna marry you. Love you so much wanna marry you,” he said, words slurring.

“Think you’ll have to ask me on a date first, cutie,” you replied quietly, partially under the impression that he was already asleep. 

“I will. Love you so much, I will,” he mumbled and with that, he was out like a light. 

From there, the rest was history. If curious minds were to inquire, you would say that Eddie’s always been very good at keeping his promises, and mindless babbling or not, he meant every word that he confessed in his sickly, drowsy state. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

thank you! <3

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [10]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4.5k

Trigger Warnings: graphic violence/torture, gore, implied mutilation

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 9 | Fic Masterlist | Part 11

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Wooyoung called out, entering the general's study with Jongho following closely behind, having been summoned to the estate.

Seonghwa looked up from his desk, "Ah yes, I heard you turned down the bonus incentive we offered. Why is that? Is there something else that you wish to have?"

Having encountered few who would refuse extra money, your husband found it hard to comprehend the private investigator's decision. Most people around him were usually drawn by the allure of his wealth or other associated benefits, which left him curious about Wooyoung's motives for declining the bonus. Surely, there was something specific he desired.

The younger man beamed, "My lord, I wasn't working so willingly for you because I wanted something more from you. Honestly, nothing makes me happier than being recognised by you! I just... okay, maybe there is one thing I really want."

Raising his brow, the general was not surprised by the sudden admission, "Go on, name it then."

With a cheeky grin, the investigator replied, "It's that you allow me to help you with whatever problems you have now!"

Your husband rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "What do you mean? I have no problems now; the worst is over."

"Really? Is that why you're here sulking alone instead of being with Lady Park? You clearly want to be near her, and yet, here you are, staying away from her because you haven't a clue how to face her after the traumatising ordeal you put her through yesterday."

That finally piqued Seonghwa's attention, prompting him to sit up straighter, though he attempted to maintain a nonchalant demeanour, "H-how did you figure that out?"

Without waiting for Wooyoung's response, he shook his head, "No, wait, actually, I don't want to know that. Just tell me... what should I do? I realise I haven't considered well enough what she went through, but I... I've never had to care for someone like this before, and I'm not really sure how to..."

The investigator offered an understanding smile, "My lord, the key to any relationship is communication. You need to talk to Lady Park. Ask her how she's feeling, and tell her you're sorry for what she went through. Avoiding each other won't solve anything; it will only create more distance between you two. You're her pillar of support now, and she needs to feel that you're there for her. You both deserve happiness, but it starts with open and honest communication."

Absorbing the advice, the general nodded thoughtfully, "You're right, Wooyoung. I appreciate your straightforwardness. I'll go talk to her and make things right."

Without hesitating, he sprang from his chair and made his way out of the study. The assistant and his friend couldn't contain their laughter, covering their mouths with their hands, but quickly composed themselves when Seonghwa glanced back at them, "Oh, and please, accept the bonus. You deserve it, especially after this."

Before Wooyoung could object, he had already exited the room and was rushing down the path toward the House of Lotus, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing his wife again.

He remembered how quiet you had been during the entire journey back home the day before, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. While you weren't overtly distant or cold to him, you seemed lost in thought throughout dinner. You excused yourself early, retiring to your quarters. The atmosphere carried an unspoken tension, making him hesitant to say anything for fear of your potential reaction.

Reflecting on it, he realised he should have assured you that things would be better from that point forward. Rather than maintaining a facade of normalcy, he regretted not breaking the silence and being there for you in that moment of unease.

His steps hesitated, and his breath deepened as you finally appeared in his line of sight, seated alone in the pavilion outside your room. Your lady etiquette books lay open beside you, but the faraway look in your eyes remained glued to the horizon beyond the lotus pond. For a moment, he stood there, appreciating your beauty, suddenly feeling thankful you looked nothing like your father.

However, as soon as you turned your head slightly and noticed him standing by the entrance, he blinked rapidly, feeling flustered. Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and approached you.

Just go talk to her, you fool.

Seeing him approach, you closed the books and made room for him to sit in the small pavilion. He offered a warm smile, "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."

Shaking your head, you returned a small smile, "No, not at all. I tried to study, but I just... I couldn't."

As he settled down beside you, reaching for your hand, you didn't flinch or pull away. He released a relieved breath and moved closer, "It's alright, you don't have to force yourself. I know you're probably upset with me. I... I'm sorry, my dear."

Lifting your head to meet his eyes, you furrowed your brows, "What? Why would I be upset with you?"

He winced, wondering if you were intentionally testing him to see if he knew what he did wrong. But then again, he knew you would never do anything like that. Sighing, he admitted, "Look, I know I should've thought things through better yesterday. I was so focused on wanting to punish your family for what they did, I forgot about how horrible it must have been for you to go back there and sit through all of that."

"I acknowledge it was a mistake. My intention was to give you a chance to confront your family by taking you to your old room. I didn't think it would affect you so badly. I realise now that it was a misguided decision, and I regret taking you back to that place. I'm a goddamned idiot."

His admission tugged at your heart, and you responded by placing a comforting hand over his.

"Seonghwa, you're not an idiot. I'm not upset with you," You assured him, "I've been quiet since the visit because I'm still processing the fact that my own father killed my mother. All this time, I believed she died from sickness. Now, I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been if only she were still alive. He took her away from me just like that, and for what? All for his own selfish reasons..."

"I just... I feel so—" Tears welled up in your eyes, and your voice broke, "I-I'm sorry..." You pulled your hands away from him, attempting to wipe your eyes, but he gently grasped your shoulders and turned you to face him.

"No, you need to stop apologising. You have every right to be sad, and I'm here to tell you that you never have to endure any more of the pain you're going through alone. I'm here for you, okay? From now on, I want you to lean on me whenever things get too unbearable. Can you do that?"

Feeling the genuine warmth in Seonghwa's tone and seeing the unmistakable care in his eyes, you finally broke down. The weight of the revelations, the pain of your father's actions, and the years of emotional torment spilt over, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. He pulled you close, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed against his shoulder.

Whispering comforting words into your ear, he pressed gentle kisses onto the top of your head. His touch was a soothing balm, providing the comfort and support you desperately needed in that moment. As you let out your emotions, he held you tighter.

The sound of your heart-wrenching cries only caused an uncomfortable squeeze in his heart. The general had never experienced this kind of ache before. Throughout his life, he had always believed that no one had a tougher life than he did. But then you came along, with your fragile form, managing to shake his entire world and alter his perspectives on life. All of a sudden, the notion of having someone to protect and care for didn't seem so repulsive, especially when it was you.

You slowly pulled back, staring up at him through your wet lashes, and offered a grateful smile, "Seonghwa, I want to thank you for doing all this for me. I never imagined someone caring enough to go through all that trouble. I promise, in return, I'll try my hardest to be a worthy wife for you."

He wiped away your tears tenderly and gazed into your eyes, "You don't need to prove anything, my love. You're already perfect, just as you are."

Your heart raced, and your eyes widened as you stuttered, "W-wait, what... what did you just call me?"

He stilled, realising the words that had slipped from his mouth before he softened. Leaning close, he pressed his forehead against yours, "My love."

Seonghwa's presence became almost intoxicating. Feeling him so close, as if with a mind of its own, your eyes slowly fluttered closed. He took that as permission to lean in further, and after what felt like an eternity, his lips touched yours in a soft and tentative kiss. When you didn't push him away, he bravely angled his head before pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Finally, our first kiss.

Pulling away after a while to catch your breath, you bit your lip shyly, "I-I'm sorry if I wasn't—"

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's my first time kissing someone too," He admitted, struggling to take his eyes off your swollen lips. A soft smile played on his lips as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, "Can I..." He asked with half-lidded eyes, and you nodded breathlessly.

Without wasting another moment, he captured your lips in another loving kiss. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of each other's presence. His touch was gentle yet filled with a depth of emotion. As the kiss deepened, you felt a rush of emotions, a mix of vulnerability and passion.

Feeling the need for air, he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes met, and you could see the affection and sincerity in his gaze, "You're perfect." He whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, realising that kissing you might just be his new favourite thing to do from now onwards. The moment lingered, the air charged with newfound emotions. It was a beginning, a sweet promise of the love that had blossomed between you.

"Your Majesty, please—"

The King slammed his fists against the handle of his throne, causing the minister to gasp and lower his head. He shook like a leaf, awaiting his impending doom as the ruler declared, "I don't want to hear another word from you, Jang. You're a bloody disappointment. Actually, you're worse than that, you monster."

Kneeling beside your father were your stepmother and stepsisters, equally trembling. Pathetic tears rolled down their cheeks as they attempted to put on a pity show, hoping to move His Majesty's heart. However, their efforts did little to appease his rage. He scoffed in disbelief at their audacity to cry, considering all the despicable things they had done to you and your mother.

This marked the first time the four women had set foot in the palace, and little did they anticipate it would be under such circumstances. The visit might also be their only time here, as the imminent judgement from the King would decide their fate.

Seonghwa stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, an amused expression on his face. He left home that morning after a lingering kiss on your lips, feeling rejuvenated and determined. Choosing not to burden you with the details of today's assembly, he shielded you from further thoughts about your family.

Don't worry, my love. I'll make sure they suffer a punishment worse than death.

"I can't stand to look at you imbeciles for another moment longer. Let's get this over with already. Royal Secretary Choi, would you be so kind as to enlighten us with all of Minister Jang's crimes and his punishments?" said the King.

Stepping forward from his corner next to the throne, San bowed, "As you wish, Your Majesty," Tugging open the scroll in his hands, he began reading out loud, "Minister Jang has committed a total of five crimes. First, he committed adultery voluntarily, and for that, he will be whipped with eighty lashes. Second, he committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, he will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

Dread filled the minister as he gulped, anxiously listening to the secretary move on to the next section, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of his own daughter, an innocent citizen, he will be flogged thirty times. Next, for violating the code of ethics as a minister, which is to be a law-abiding citizen, he will be stripped of his title and flogged another twenty times."

As your father's hands trembled, he attempted to hold himself up by pressing his sweaty palms against the floor, breathing heavily as he awaited the final and most severe punishment. San continued, "And finally, for the murder of his first wife, an innocent citizen, he will be sentenced to permanent exile."

That's... it?

Feeling a sliver of hope, the old man let out a small sigh of relief. At least it wasn't death by beheading or arsenic poisoning as he had feared. Banishment seemed acceptable; he supposed he could still live a quiet life somewhere away from here. Bowing deeply, he cried, "Thank you, Your Majesty! Your grace is immeasurable!"

All the ministers and officials present quickly stole glances at Seonghwa, wondering if he would throw a fit and object to the punishment that was yet to be the heaviest one. However, they failed to discern his feelings, as there was only an unreadable smirk on his handsome face.

Lady Jang and her daughters trembled as they awaited their turn. With a nod from the King, the secretary continued, "Moving on, Lady Jang has committed a total of four crimes. First, she voluntarily committed adultery, and for that, she will be whipped eighty lashes. Second, she committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, she will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

She nodded to herself, seemingly already accepting her fate, as she listened, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, she will be flogged thirty times. And finally, for being an accomplice to the murder of the first Lady Jang, she will be sentenced to penal servitude for life."

Her eyes shot up immediately, finding it hard to accept that she would be separated from her husband. She had believed she, too, would be exiled along with him. But she quickly lowered her gaze as soon as she saw the glare the King had directed at her, as if daring her to complain about it.

Oh god, my life is over...

Noticing the King's patience wearing thin, San quickly concluded with the final sentencing, "Lastly, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, the three young misses of the Jang family will be flogged thirty times each and sentenced to penal servitude for a total of thirty years."

All three of the sisters' jaws fell slack at their punishment. After living luxurious lives like spoiled brats for so long, they were now expected to be servants, performing hard labour for three decades. All their dreams of getting married and leading comfortable lives were shattered. The prospect of finding suitors after serving their sentences seemed bleak. Their lives were forever ruined, and things would never be the same.

"Now that that's settled, remove these individuals from my sight, and see to it that they receive their physical punishments by today. I don't want their presence contaminating my palace walls any longer than necessary. Moving on to the next agenda, let us discuss who will stand in as the interim Minister of Military Affairs until we elect a new one." The ruler grumbled, waving his hands dismissively.

Seonghwa grinned smugly, relishing the way your father's face fell as he absorbed His Majesty's words. The King fully intended to drive the point home, reminding him that, no matter how much he believed he contributed to the nation, he, too, was just as disposable. Consider it emotional torment for further punishment, if you will.

As the members of the Jang family were forcefully pulled to their feet and guided toward the palace torture chamber where all punishments for criminals were administered, the general bowed deeply, "Your Majesty, forgive this humble subject for not feeling too well. Would it be possible for me to excuse myself from the remainder of today's assembly?"

With a knowing glint in his eyes, the King nodded, "Of course, my boy. Nothing matters more than your well-being. I'll have Royal Secretary Choi send you the minutes of today's meeting later on."

All eyes were fixed on your husband as he confidently exited the hall, wearing an excessively pleased expression, looking a little too content to be feeling unwell as he had claimed. It became evident to everyone that he was plotting something, a scheme that even His Majesty was privy to and had tacitly approved.

"P-please, have mercy!"

Screams reverberated within the dim and eerie confines of the torture chamber, a place the general once frequented during his duties of interrogating spies, war criminals, and suspicious individuals to maintain peace within the nation.

The familiar sounds of your family's agonising cries filled his ears, and he couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped his lips as he entered, "Ah yes, music to my ears."

Upon his arrival, all the royal guards present swiftly bowed deeply and greeted Seonghwa with respect, "Good day, General Park!" They dared not continue until he gave them a nod, "Go on, don't let me stop you. I'm only here to enjoy the show."

"Yes, sir!" They chanted in unison. To many young soldiers and palace guards, he was akin to a god, an embodiment of success they aspired to achieve one day. Therefore, his mere presence motivated them to perform their duties with increased ruthlessness and precision.

Taking a seat in the centre of the room, your husband bit his lip with a smug expression, locking eyes with your father whose gaze reflected anguish. The elderly man lay face down on a wooden table, enduring lash after lash on his already bloody and battered back. His painful ordeal was far from over.

Whimpering, your father pleaded, "S-Seonghwa, I'm s-still your father-in-law! Please, at least show a little mercy to your wife's father!" Beside him, his wife nodded pathetically, sharing the same painful fate. Meanwhile, the three daughters stood frozen in a corner, wrists cuffed, awaiting their turn to face their beatings.

A devilish laughter escaped the general as he shot a menacing glare at the former minister, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that supposed to make things any better? I would show you mercy if only you had shown my wife any. You shouldn't have said anything, you fool," Turning to the guard in charge of whipping your father, your husband ordered, "Not hard enough, soldier. I want to see his skin tear."

"Yes, sir!" Striking with increased force, the lashes landed on the old man's back, inflicting wounds that would take months to heal. The continuous shrieks of pain only served to widen the smile on Seonghwa's face, "And to think you were thanking His Majesty for his grace; you've underestimated the severity of being whipped, haven't you? Did you really think you were going to walk out of here with a small bruise? Dream on."

"Oh, I can't wait for all of you to experience the wonders of flogging! It will be delightful, a punishment perfectly suited for your kind." The general sang, eyeing the three girls slyly.

They cowered under his intense gaze, suddenly regretting every action they took on the day of your visit. Perhaps if they hadn't attempted any of those, they might have gotten away with a lighter sentence. But there was no point dwelling on such thoughts now.

"Father! Mother!" The girls cried, witnessing their parents only now completing the first half of their punishment. Before they could continue their wailing, guards approached them, saying, "Quiet down! Worry about yourselves instead; it's your turn."

The former minister and his wife looked practically lifeless by the time the guards were finished with their hundred lashes each. The skin on their backs was completely torn open, blood gushing out relentlessly. They were nearly unconscious by the time the guards moved them to separate poles, where they would be beaten with a heavy stick all over their bodies.

Letting out a small yawn, Seonghwa signalled for them to prepare for the flogging. This would be entertaining to witness; most criminals barely survived this punishment by the time it concluded. He would relish the idea of them being left in critical conditions.

"Enjoy yourselves! Thirty times each for what you've all done to my wife – just the perfect amount to leave you halfway to hell. Don't worry; you'll wish you were dead by the end of this. But rest assured, we will keep you alive," Your husband exclaimed with a clap of his hands, "Now, I want you to think of all the things you've done to my wife as you endure this. Can we all do that?"

In the ensuing silence, the guards approached each family member, forcefully striking them with the heavy sticks in their hands. With just one hit, all of them began howling in pain, "Answer the general! Can you all do as you are told?!"

"Y-yes! Yes!" All five of them sobbed miserably, and the general beamed, "Fantastic! Now, let the official flogging begin! The first one does not count, alright? Consider it warm up!"

The insanity in his eyes was genuinely terrifying, and your family was once again reminded of his reputation. Suddenly, it all made sense. This was how it felt to be a victim of his cruelty. They never should have sent you to him; that was their biggest mistake, and nothing they do or say could ever change that now.

"Yes, sir!"

And so it began, the screams that now filled the room were even more piercing than the ones during the first round of whipping.

Approaching each family member one by one, Seonghwa smirked, "Remember all the times you starved her?" Jinjoo nodded in between shrieks, "Good. And you, recall all the times you insulted her and made her feel small?" Jinhee repeated her sister's actions, nodding furiously, "Very good. And you, remember all the times you did something wrong and blamed it on her so that she would take your punishments for you?"

Jinah cried, tears and snot running down her sweaty face, "I'm sorry!" He shook his head, "Will saying a useless sorry change anything? Nope. Hit her harder, soldier," With a grin of approval, he moved on to your stepmother, "And you, recall all the times you kept her locked up in that prison cell you call her room?" Not wanting to suffer like her eldest, she nodded aggressively, "Good."

Finally stopping in front of your father, he crossed his arms over his chest, "And you, remember all the times you laid your hands on her? Your own daughter?" The former minister nodded quickly but was not spared, "Good, hit him even harder so he never forgets how it feels."

"Twenty-nine, thirty." The beatings stopped for the four women, and they collapsed one by one onto the floor like rag dolls. Blood trickled from their noses and the corners of their lips, their bodies covered in countless bruises and open wounds, soaking their clothes red. And that is only what can be seen on the outside; who knew what fatal internal injuries they could be suffering from.

With his hands propped on his hips, Seonghwa took in the sight with satisfaction, "Very well, some of these scars should last you for life. Now, you look as bad as the way you'd left my wife. Actually, worse. But that's good. I'm very happy with the outcome. Guards, take them away and make sure to send them to places where they're known to treat their servants poorly."

The girls sobbed upon hearing that, "General, please, have mercy! We've already suffered enough!" Your husband scoffed, "Mercy? Have you not been paying attention this entire time? I'm not known for that. Get them out of my sight."

As the guards dragged the wailing women out, they cried for their husband and father. The former minister yelled, still taking his twenty additional beatings as he watched his wife and daughters go, "W-will you not at least let me say my final goodbyes to them?"

"Minister, please don't make me laugh. Did you also allow my wife and her poor mother a final goodbye?" The old man had nothing to say at that, grunts of pain escaping his lips as he tried to endure the remainder of his punishment despite feeling like all of his insides had been beaten to mush at this point. He didn't have to look down to know that he was soaked in blood; he could feel the sting on his wounds whenever the slightest bit of wind blew past.

Just a bit more, and I'm free.

« Preview of Part 11 »

"Forty-nine, fifty." Your father sighed in relief when the punishment finally ceased. Collapsing to the ground upon being untied, he stared blankly ahead, feeling pain throughout his entire body. Slowly but surely, he slipped into unconsciousness due to the loss of blood.

Unfortunately, his respite was short-lived. A bucket of dirty water was abruptly dumped over him, causing him to scream in agony as the injuries on his body stung intensely, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Did you think it was over?" His blood ran cold as he noticed he was now tied to a chair, unable to move. With most of the guards gone, only him and Seonghwa remained.

"What do you think you're doing, general? I've completed all my physical punishments; you're supposed to banish me now!" The old man croaked, his eyes widening in fear as he noticed the dagger in your husband's hand.

The general burst into laughter, "Oh, minister, you can be quite slow at times. Did you genuinely believe that His Majesty's decision not to sentence you to death was an act of kindness? Who do you think requested your exile?"

"Y-you—"

Seonghwa smirked, "Indeed, it was me. Killing you would have been too merciful. No, I want you to endure a life so filled with pain that you wish for death every single day. Now, after seeing how skilled you were at begging all day, I believe you'd make a very talented beggar. Do you know what would make you a successful beggar?"

Tears streaming down his face, your father shook his head hopelessly as your husband traced the blade against his skin before whispering, "One without limbs."

That was the most violence I have ever written HAHA I had to channel my inner Joker for Seonghwa's character. Anyway, I hope that was satisfying enough!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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[ur-dad-satan]

Perv!LevixNB!MC

Creep!

4.1 k words, 18+ MDNI, thanks <3

(Includes mentions of masturbation, Levi being a clothes thief, blow jobs, hand jobs, kissing, degradation, swearing, Levi humiliation)

MC had recently noticed a vaguely concerning trend whenever they did their laundry. Without fail, every week, one or two pairs of their underwear would disappear from their load of clothes. While it had originally concerned them, they would appear the next time they washed clothes replacing the new ones that would disappear next. This went on for about a month before one fateful day. The human was in their room folding the last of their laundry when they realized they had a few articles of clothes that belonged to someone else in the house. In fact, they had some type of clothing from every brother that they needed to return. After wandering around the giant, old house and returning almost every piece of clothing to their respective owners, they only had one more place to go. MC knocked on the door of the third eldest of their seven demonic roommates, and surprisingly, there was no answer. Odd. They looked around and noticed Satan walking towards his room with several books tucked under his arm.

"Hey, Tan? Do you know if Levi's in his room." They asked. Satan thought for a moment before replying, not stopping his stride.

"I believe so, MC. I didn't see him in the kitchen or leaving and it's not like he'd willingly be many other places." He said matter-of-factly, only stopping when he reached his door.

"Oh, thanks." MC responded. The blond haired man muttered a 'no problem' and disappeared into the cave of literature he called his room. MC knocked on Levi's door once a bit harder and waited once more. Yet again, no answer. Maybe he wasn't there after all. No matter; MC tried the door nob, and surprisingly it was unlocked. They shrugged and went in and closed the door behind them.

Levi was slouched in his bathtub with his headphones on and something pressed to his face. MC didn't think about it too deeply, and called out once more before approaching.

"Levi, I'm giving back your shirt." They said. He still didn't even look up despite him obviously being awake. They could see him moving. MC didn't realize what was going on until they were standing right next to his tub. There, the avatar of envy was; his pants around his thighs, one hand working his cocks, and his phone was playing some hentai with a character that looked suspiciously familiar. Levi rolled his head back with lidded eyes as a small moan escaped his lips. Almost as soon as he did that, he saw MC standing there and his flushed, and lust-filled expression turned to one of mortification.

"MC!" Levi yelled in shock and tried to cover himself while MC averted their eyes.

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm so sorry! I just wanted to give you back your shirt and the door wasn't locked!" MC explained themself feeling a bit bad catching him like that. Levi tossed off his headphones, and covered his face forgetting the purple fabric in his hand. MC looked back at Levi to hand him his shirt, but seeing what was in his hand more clearly made all of the embarrassment turn to surprise and slight disgust.

"Are those my underwear?!" MC asked. Confusion flashed across Levi's face, before his face practically glowed bright and deep in scarlet.

"... N-no?" The demon's voice wavered in an obvious lie, but he barely attempted to even hide them.

"Yes they are! Those are the ones that disappeared!" A beat passed before all of the pieces finally clicked into place before an expression made up of confusion and slight anger wrapped in a thin veil of disgust and intrigue. "Were you jerking off with my underwear?" MC's asked. Levi's stunned silence spoke way more than anything he could say in the moment. Despite that, he still tried to bumble his way through an explanation.

"MC I- I... I didn't mean- no listen- I'm- you weren't supposed to- ugh!" Levi babbled looking for any excuse or reason that would explain away what he had been caught doing; he only stopped and frowned when he saw how irritated MC looked. "I'm sorry." He apologized and hung his head holding out the pair of underwear that was just being used in such a downright perverted act. MC traded the clothes and saw the other pair on the floor. They picked those up too, and turned to leave.

"That's so fucking gross." MC mumbled in - what they thought was - a low voice, but Levi heard and looked up frantically and asked one more thing before it was too late. If he didn't ask now, it would eat him alive.

"MC, I really am sorry. I promise I'll never do it again. Please don't hate me." Levi's voice was desperate and dripping with emotion, mere moments from crying. MC stopped and turned to face him so he could see their face.

"Levi," MC started in a tired tone. They pinched the bridge of their nose and let out a sigh before continuing to speak. "No, I don't hate you. I could actually never hate you. Just please, don't do that again. It's fucking weird if not creepy." They said. Relief washed over Levi's face, and MC left the demon's room. They shook their head and made sure to never tell anyone about this to preserve Levi's limited reputation amongst his brothers.

*.*.*.*.*.

It had been a few weeks since MC and Levi's... debacle and things were mostly back to normal. MC's underwear stopped disappearing from their laundry and MC never told anyone what happened. Things were fine and dandy. However, all good things must come to an end.

One Friday, MC had a spill in their spells class and was excused to go home. Thank Diavolo it was their last class! They went back to the House of Lamentation and took a nice hot shower in Asmo's bathroom then went back down to their room. They kicked the door closed, but missed when it didn't close entirely leaving just a bit of space. MC took their time taking care of their skin and making sure none of the ingredients from whatever potion they were making didn't have an adverse reaction on their skin. They had been standing in only their underwear in the mirror checking their abdomen for any abrasions or effects from the potion when something caught the corner of their eye.

The first thing they noticed was that their door actually didn't close like they thought it had. The second thing was pale skin and purple hair. This fucking pervert! Clearly, he needed another talking-to because there would not be a third time. MC pretended to not see Leviathan watching through the crack in the door, and quickly finished making sure their skin was fine. As they reached for their tank top, they quietly cast an enchantment that pulled Levi into their room and locked the door behind him. He let out a yelp as he barreled in and took a moment to realize the gravity of the situation. He had been caught. MC marched up to him, not really caring about being in a tank top and underwear, with their arms crossed and an expression of annoyance with a hint of disgust.

"Leviathan," MC said coldly. The demon almost physically recoiled at the use of his full name. MC never used any of the brother's full names unless they were really upset or in a professional setting. If the brothers didn't know if MC was mad at one of them, they'd ask a question and see if MC answered with their nickname or their full name.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry! It's not what you think! I swear!" Levi tried

"What is it then, because I think you were spying on me while I was changing like a fucking perv!" The human accused.

"No! I was going in the kitchen and I saw that your door was kinda open and I was just gonna see if you were in here and you were changing and-" Levi's pleas were cut off by MC.

"Bullshit. First you steal my underwear to jerk off to," MC started and got closer with every word. "And now you watch me through a crack in my door expecting me not to see you? And now that you're caught, you beg for forgiveness?" MC started to get more annoyed than angry, but still jabbed a finger into Levi's chest to emphasize their point.

"MC please, I swear I didn't mean to watch you, I meant to go in the kitchen." Levi tried again. MC rolled their eyes and stepped even closer.

"The kitchen is on the other side of the hallway. Do you just like being a pervert or something, Leviathan?" MC's tone was accusing and despite them being a bit shorter than Levi, their presence was immense. So immense, that Levi had unknowingly backed up until the back of his legs hit the edge of MC's bed. He wasn't scared of any harm, but he was afraid they would tell his brothers. A deep, hot, red spread across his face and up to his ears at the thought.

"Please, I would never lie to you. I-" Levi's words were cut off by someone knocking on MC's door. Both of them fell quiet to listen for whatever would come next.

"MC, we're home!" Mammon's voice called to the human through the door. "Oh, and don't forget ya said you'd go out with me an' Asmo if that potion didn't mess with ya!" He finished.

"Thanks, Mam. I'll be ready in a bit." MC called back and waited about 5 seconds before pointing their gaze back to Levi who hadn't taken his worried eyes off of the human. MC sighed before speaking again to the purple haired demon in front of them. "If I catch you doing this perv shit again, I'm telling Lucifer. Get out."

For a moment, Levi's eyes widened and they fell to the floor. He shifted oddly visibly stalling which only made MC roll their eyes and stare at him. He started to open his mouth to say something but closed it back. He floundered like a fish before finally, some words came out of him.

"I-I... can't..." He mumbled the rest of the sentence.

"You can't what?" MC asked sharply. The anger faded away from their voice and it was just left with disappointment.

"... I can't... leave yet..." The blush on his face deepened at the admission. MC raised one of their eyebrows in confusion.

"Why? You wanna perv on me some more? Quite frankly, if that's the reason, then I repeat: leave. Respectfully of course." MC responded somewhat sarcastically, lightly sniggering at his red face. That's when they noticed Levi's pale skin turning impossibly redder.

"U-umm. I-" Levi tried to adjust his shirt watching MC's eyes dart all over him. Then it finally hit the human why he was acting like this. They looked down just briefly enough to see the obvious tent in Levi's black pants.

"What the fuck, perv! How long were you watching me? Was that all you were even doing?" MC fired off rapidly.

"No! I wasn't looking long! A-and of course!" Levi said. Something in his voice made MC think he was lying.

"Leviathan, if you lie to me one more time... " MC said and got impossibly closer to Levi making him fall back onto the bed he was against. Now, MC stood above Levi in an almost intimidating way. They were still only in a t-shirt and underwear, but didn't care that much; Levi however, did care as this whole situation was... less than ideal for him. Everything about MC was attractive to him and it didn't help that they kept degrading him and calling him a perv. Their lack of clothing also didn't help the way he was feeling.

"Okay, okay. I-I may have been looking for a little longer than I said... but I swear that's all I was doing." Levi looked down in shame as he admitted his transgression.

"That's disgusting and perv-ish. What, is this some freaky little fantasy or something? You get off to knowing that I don't know what you're doing? That you're sneaking around hoping to get a glimpse?" MC asked almost condescendingly. The situation was getting overwhelming for Levi as MC degraded him. If this didn't stop, he would definitely embarrass himself.

"MC, please stop. I get it. I'm gross and I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. Please stop." Levi said not looking MC in the eye. He shifted again to try to hide his growing... embarrassment.

"Do you really think you're in a position to request anything right now?" They asked.

"Look, I know. I know everything. I'm gross and what I did was perverted, but please stop calling me... names. I won't do it again." Levi's face only burned more in embarrassment.

"Why? Unless you have a good reason, I'm going to fucking chew you out." MC crossed their arms once again and jutted their hip out. The movement made their t-shirt ride a bit. That was too much. Levi had to bite his lip to keep his composure. He couldn't take this.

"MC, I know what I did was gross, but please. You're not helping the situation by talking down to me." Levi said desperately. "You're only turning me on." He mumbled under his breath. The demon thought MC didn't hear him, but he was incredibly wrong. MC kind've already knew, but hearing it from Levi's mouth actually took them aback. So much so that they started laughing.

"Oh my Diavolo, you've really got to learn how to whisper." They said between fits of laughter. Levi's head snapped up to Look at MC in confusion, then mortification. They laughed at him a bit more, then gathered their composure. "You know what? Just get out. I don't even wanna yell at you anymore."

"W-wait, my brothers are home." Levi said slightly worried.

"I know?" MC answered in a tone that said 'no shit, Sherlock'.

"Please don't make me go out there with them. They'll eat me alive and I'll never hear the end of it. I can already hear Satan and Belphie laughing at me for leaving your room with a- ... like this." His blush spread from his face down his neck. Thought it wasn't hiding much, Levi moved his shirt to the side. Lo and behold, two tents in his gray sweats.

"How's that my problem?" MC asked backing up a bit to give him some space.

"Please help me?" Levi asked and gave an unsure smile to convince (?) them. Fuck. On one hand, Levi had been perving on MC. He had stolen MC's underwear and watched them change through a crack in the door. On the other hand, it was Levi, their favorite weeb in the entire Devildom if not all three worlds. They contemplated a bit longer before coming to a conclusion. Fuuuuck. Only one thing went through MC's pretty head as they rolled their eyes: I'm gonna regret this.

"Fine." MC said.

"F-fine?" Levi's eyes went wide and he made eye contact with MC for the first time in a while.

"Yeah, fine. However, my help comes with conditions." MC asked getting close once again. This time though, they put their face close to his.

"Okay." He rushed out, once again beet red.

"If you ever, and I mean ever do this perverted shit again, I'm telling all of your brothers, and I'm going to curse you. Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?" MC asked in a sickly sweet voice; though their tone was 'happy' their words were a threat.

"I understand." Levi said almost breathless. His eyes scanned MC's face for any hint that they were joking about anything they had said, but found absolutely nothing. They were completely serious.

"Good." MC said shortly then grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to mere centimeters from their face. Levi's eyes fell to MC's lips, and he watched them form an exasperated smirk before speaking once more. "God, you're so lucky you're you." MC said before pulling him by his shirt into a kiss. Levi all but melted against MC's lips as cliche as it was. He moved his hands to place them on MC's waist, but the touch was met with MC putting their hand not holding his shirt on his throat and them pulling away slightly.

"Keep your hands to yourself. You're still a fucking perv. You don't get to touch me." MC said. The demon moved his hands back down to the bed on either side of him, and MC continued to kiss him. The human took their hand from Levi's shirt and placed it on the bed next to him, leaning in even more; at the same time, MC pushed their knee into Levi's crotch making him moan softly into their mouth, and get harder. Lost in the moment with his cocks twitching, he absentmindedly started grinding against MC's knee. They squeezed his neck just a bit eliciting a breathy moan from the purple haired man.

MC pulled away and instead kissed from the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jaw, his neck, and lower. They moved their hands so the on on Levi's throat as now on the side of his face, and the other pressed against his dicks over his pants. He sucked in a gasp that quickly turned into a shaky moan into MC's ear. The mixture of the sound and heat from his breath against their skin made goosebumps erupt all across their skin. They made their way to his collar, right above the neckline of his shirt, and kissed him gently. Levi's hands started gripping MC's blanket softly, since he wasn't allowed to touch the human he had thought about whenever he had... snuck... MC's underwear. MC pulled away from Levi completely, yet Levi's eyes seemed glued to the human. They lifted the front of his shirt and rolled it up and placed it in his mouth so it exposed his entire chest and stomach. The scene was gorgeous; Levi's face was a shade of rose, his stomach hid the abs MC knew he had just as his arms hid the firm biceps that could be seen when he lifted something heavy or flexed, and the tint in his pants that his cocks were almost poking out of his waistband.

"Look at you," MC started. Their voice was slightly condescending, but Levi didn't mind. "You look so pathetic sitting there exposed. All hard and blushing. Why don't I expose you more?" MC questioned rhetorically. They pulled down the waistband on his pants just enough for his cocks and his balls to be taken out, after, they backed up to admire their work. They didn't look long before sinking to their knees and starting to slowly pump both cocks in one hand. The demon moaned softly into the fabric in his mouth, his breath only hitching when MC let saliva drip from their tongue to his skin. After barely any time, MC had one dick in their mouth and the other still in their hand. A mixture of muffled gasps, moans, groans, and swears leaked out of Levi's pretty mouth as the fabric slowly became darker with saliva.

MC bobbed their head up and down slowly, keeping the same pace with their hand and watching Levi's flushed face. His eyes fluttered halfway between open and shut, and his hinds continued to grip the blankets harder every time a wave of pleasure hit him and MC's hot spit dripped messily down his cock. After a short while, they switched to suck the other dick, leaving the first soaked in spit and precum. It dripped down on and past his balls, and collected on the hem on his black pants. This went on for a little while before MC noticed how uneven his breathing became and figured he was about to cum. They pulled off of him and wiped their lip as Levi let out a noise of disappointment around the fabric, and his hips moved in a feeble attempt to get more friction.

"Nuh-uh. You cum when I say you cum. It's the least you can do to make it up to me, creep." MC stood and moved between Levi's legs to look down at him. As the two looked into one another's eyes, MC could have sworn there was a very faint heart shape in Levi's eyes; then again, maybe it was just the lust talking. Either way, they wanted to kiss him again. MC pulled the wet shirt from Levi's mouth and pulled it behind his head, so that the only thing keeping it on him was the sleeves his arms were still in. They cupped his face in both hands while they kissed him briefly, before kissing down his neck once more. This time, they kissed down his chest, stopping to lick and suck on his nipples. Levi's head lulled back lightly as small moans leaked from his mouth and small beads of sweat form on Levi's pale skin. In a small flash of purple and orange light, Levi had transformed into his demon form.

His coral-like horns and snake-like tail had always fascinated MC. Maybe under different circumstances they'd pay more attention to them, but for now, MC gingerly ran a finger over Levi's horns making him shudder out a moan. Levi's tail slithered up MC's leg; the rough scales get rather close to their hip, but MC once again had to remind him why this was even happening in the first place.

"Don't touch me," MC reminded in a sickly sweet sing-song voice.

"Ah, fuck. Sorry, MC." Levi apologized. He moved his tail off of MC and instead wrapped it loosely around his own leg. An idea popped into MC's head and they fought off a grin.

"You know what? Don't even look at me." They said and climbed onto their bed behind Levi and got close. They ran their hands over Levi's sides, letting their nails run lightly over his skin before they slid a hand up his throat and rested it on his mouth. They pulled him so his back was against his chest, and began stroking his dicks again. Levi's body relaxed as he gave into pleasure again. MC bit Levi's jaw, not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make him gasp lightly. He mumbled some moan against MC's hand, but MC didn't care what he had to say in the moment. They stopped, only to spit into their hand, then continued faster, taking him to the edge. MC bit right below Levi's ear, before speaking through his muffled moans.

"Have we learned our lesson?" MC asked in yet another sickly sweet tone and moved their hand to his throat. The condescension dripped from their voice like venom from a snake's fangs; it was utterly intoxicating.

"Yes." Levi moaned out hoarsely almost in a trance.

"And we won't ever do this again?" MC asked once more in the same cotton candy-esque tone.

"No." He rushed out and inhaled quickly. Levi was so close, his eyes were closed. his hips bucked and jerked as the knot in his lower stomach tightened. MC placed their hand back on Levi's mouth and uttered one more small phrase that made Levi go crazy. Not on purpose, but it did anyway.

"Good boy." MC's tone wasn't condescending nor sarcastic, it was rather sharp and precise. Though to Levi, that didn't matter. His eyes rolled back and his hips bucked once more as hot white cum shot from his cocks. His rather loud moan was caught in MC's hand. The sticky white fluid landed on Levi's pants along with the precum and saliva from earlier. The black fabric of his sweat pants were a disgusting, humiliating mess. MC got up from their bed, and walked over to their dresser calmly, taking out a pair of their own sweatpants and tossing them beside Levi. When he caught his breath and his body had stopped pulsating, he glanced down at himself seeing the mess on his clothes. "Put those on. They better be back in my room when I get back." MC commanded and began to go through their clothes to another outfit. The two were silent as Levi wordlessly changed his soiled pants for the clean ones.

"Thank you, MC. I'm sorry for everything." Levi mumbled as he walked toward their door. MC undid their spell, turned to face him before, and called out.

"Hey," Levi turned his attention to the human. "Stop being such a fucking creep. If you want something, ask for it like an adult." Though MC's words weren't the nicest, they were genuine and that's all Levi really cared about. The purple haired demon smiled at MC softly, balled up his pants under his arm, and left. Luckily, none of his brothers were in the halls, and no one, not even Henry 2.0 found out about Levi's -admittedly short lived- perverted escapades.

[lycandrophile]

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

[apricot-blossomss]

↬ apollo x mortal! insecure! gn! reader with self-deprecating thoughts

↬ set in any time, this is not specific at all | warnings: self deprecating thoughts and thinking you're not good enough, suggestive at the end | hurt/comfort, happy end | blurb | greek gods masterlist

over the course of the last months, you had come to learn a truth about gods: they were a lot less unapproachable and incomprehensible than you would think. though still indistinguishable and divine, you soon realized that their actions had reason, were understandable even to a mortal like you were one. but there was this major one that you just couldn't understand.

"apollo?" you asked and had to clear your throat as you hadn't used your voice in a while. your gaze lingered on the waterlilies even as you felt the god's head shift in your lap. you could feel his golden eyes tracing your features, trying to descipher your mood shift. what did they see? when would that look of admiration in them, that was so unfathomable to you, disappear from those divine eyes?

"hm?" the god in your lap hummed and it sounded like a melody. naive of you to expect anything less from the god of music. you could feel him reaching out to you but you didn't think you could bear to look at him now, this display of divinity, beauty and perfection. the faint glow and the graceful features, you could picture it all very clearly. hadn't you been the one staring at him for hours on end, trying to carve his face into your memory because he made you tear up and laugh at the same time every time you thought about him?

"don't you ever think about-" you began but your voice died and you swallowed. a light shiver came over you, you couldn't bring the words past your lips, you were ashamed. you kneaded your hands in your lap, next to the gods head presumably. "nevermind"

another shift, now a major one as the weight on your lap dissolved and apollo sat up in front of you. the whole thing was turning embarrassing very quickly, so you turned your head away from him without a glimpse into his frowning eyes. "love-" he whispered, still sounding as melodic as the delicate tunes he played for you on his kithara. the very tips of his fingers brushed the skin of your arms and you shivered regardless of the warm temperatures.

you averted your head even further and stared stubbornly at the green grass weaving in the tender warm breeze. hot red embarrassment creeped up your neck and painted your cheeks a pink hue. it was silly, but you feared that if you did tell him he could do so much better, that his affection was wasted on someone like you, that you didn't deserve him, he would leave- even though it would be best for you to let go, release him from your love.

"love." it came out more stern now but you still refused to look at him, burying your fingers in the silky fabric of your dress to hide their trembling. suddenly, you felt a soft finger caress your cheek and you surrendered yourself so willingly to his touch that he easily tilted your head towards him.

he was breathtaking in the evening glow of the setting sun. himself emitting a glow, it was hard to look at him without breaking into tears over his beauty. his golden locks framed his face like a crown, his face with the gentle eyes and tender smile that was now fading into a worried expression. you only realized the reason when he brushed the single tear from your cheek. "what's wrong?" he asked so heartbreakingly earnest that you couldn't hide or lie any longer.

"why are you here?" you asked, and to clarify, you quickly added: "with me, i mean."

he seemed taken aback, and even confusion looked good on him, made you want to forget everything and pull him close to you to kiss those pretty lips you didn't deserve. "what do you mean, my love?" he asked. now his touch wasn't a gentle breeze or allusion anymore. his fingers closed around you thigh as he leaned closer and the other one still held your hand in place- not that you considered ever looking away again. the following words were spoken with an earnest that stole the breath out of your lungs for a moment, quite like a long kiss would have. "i'm with you because i love you"

"but ... why?" you asked and couldn't help the whiny tone of your voice.

the light laugh he let out in response flared up your insides in the best way. the urge to press yourself against him, hold him in place, keep him to yourself forever, was so strong you couldn't think of anything else. "have the countless love poems and lyre songs i wrote just for you not been enough of an answer?" he asked, still smiling humorously. "where do i start? shall i recite them again and again until you believe me? write you new ones until you understand that you are the true masterpiece, my muse, my sunshine, my love?"

gods, the god of poetry really did have a way with words and for a moment rendered incapable of answering, you hid your face in your hands. his hands caressed your thighs, your arms as he waited patiently, let you grapple with your words until you had worked up an answer. "do you actually mean them?" you asked quietly, probably as red as a tomato by now.

"of course i do," he answered immediately, a frown appearing on his beautiful face as his eyes pierced through you with an unknown urgency. "do you think i'm deceiving you, my sunshine?"

"no!" you gasped, still fumbling over your words, regretting even bringing it up. "no, i- not that you're lying, just that-" tears of desperation stung in your eyes and you could've buried yourself right then and there. "i don't deserve you!" you finally opened up and averted your gaze again, trying to hold back the tears. terribly emotional. "you are too good for me, i'm- compared to you -no, to anyone- i'm so ... imperfect, dull, i just don't understand what makes you love me, i think you are deceiving yourself! i-" your voice broke and you sniffled pathetically. "i'm not enough for you and i'm... i'm sorry"

the whole ordeal was so humiliating. now apollo would surely leave you. had you made him understand? cleared up his delusions that had driven him to you in the first place? in your heart, you opened yourself just a little to let all the memories in, memories of his smile, his songs, his voice and all the talks, and closed it again to keep all of it even when he left. to latch onto that memory when he would find other men and women, better than you, prettier than you, more memorable and would forget you. what had someone like you been doing in his life anyway?

suddenly, you were flipped over and flopped onto your back. the grass was soft and warm and the flowers emitted a dizzying, sweet smell. motionless, you gaped up at the god above you , pressing you into the ground. now he really did look like the sun personified and no matter if it scorched your eyes, you would keep looking at him forever. but the expression on his face was one in between pain and desperate amusement. "my love ... how could you think that?"

you didn't answer, just kept looking at him, something deep inside you begging him to relieve your pain, tell you you were being crazy, even if you wouldn't believe it.

"not enough for me?" he chuckled but his eyes held a painful desperation reaching out to you. it seemed to hurt him how you were talking about yourself. "not enough... sunshine, not only are you enough, you are so much more than i could ever have dreamed of. it's the other way around, my love, my dearest, I don't deserve you and your beautiful soul."

now that was something you would have never expected of your god, known all around olympus for his big ego. "apollo-" you whispered, even though you had nothing to say, and brought your hands to his face to cup his cheeks. they were unbelievably soft, just as tender as his eyes as they seemed to caress every inch of your face. "shh, not done yet, my love"

he lovered his gold kissed head until you felt his hot breath against your face. soft, flawless hands cupped your waist and ignited a fire in your belly. squirming lightly, you looked up into his golden, passionate eyes, filled with nothing but pure admiration. "how could you ever talk of yourselves like that? trust me, my love, i have lived for a millennium and never met anyone like you. no one can compare. you are perfect to me. all time spent without you has been rendered pointless the moment i fell in love with you. promise me to never change." a light smirk played with his pink lips, so wonderfully close to your burning skin. "darling, you have a god at your feet. how could you ever think so lowly of yourself?"

your breath hitched in your throat when his long awaited lips caressed your throat and your hands travelled from his face to his golden locks that were so, so soft to the touch. suddenly you stiffened and your lover immediately looked up at you. you looked back, perplexed. "so... so you actually love me?"

again, that laugh that had you melting to a puddle in his capable hands. "you really had doubts about my love and devotion?" his smile took on a sly edge. "it's seems i haven't done a good enough job worshipping you then"

"apollo!" you shrieked when he dove back down, more urgent now, kissing, sucking and biting at the same time as he painted your neck like one of his canvases. and of course he did a formidable job, he was the god of art after all. gasping for air, you began to caress his scalp with your fingers and he let out a light groan next to your ear.

his hand cupped your neck and he tilted your head back, looking you in the eyes again. "I will bring you to olympus. I will marry you. I will make you immortal."

you didn't know what to say, faced with the burning eyes of the god, so you settled with a gasped "i love you!". and it seemed like that was enough because apollo gleamed with joy and pulled you even closer to him. in a playful nudge, his nose touched yours and he looked at you affectionately. "never doubt your perfection again, my light. i will kiss all of these thoughts away."

[pit-and-the-pen]

I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 1

A/ N:I’m horrible at exposition so bare with me through this one. It feels a little clunky to me but this sets up a lot for the rest of the series. This is also the longest thing I’ve written outside of my senior thesis so… I have this series fully planned out and now that I’m back from vacation I should be able to work on it a lot more. 

Anyways, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for it! 

Warnings: Spring court slander (implied trauma), nightmares. Drinking. I think that’s all but feel free to let me know if I should add anything! 

Wc- ~10k

Previous part: here

Next chapter: Here

We’re coming home. 

I ran up to my brother. Desperately pulling on Rhys’ arm and I felt him stumble back into me. He remained frozen, eyes locked on the female in front of him. Her and Rhys were clearly in the middle of a very intense conversation. But I wanted to go home. When I shouted Rhys’ name, his head flickered to me before looking back at Feyre. I saw his body tense, eyes going wide and it was instinct that had me grabbing his arm and winnowing us to Velaris.

The smell instantly calms me in a way I haven't felt in fifty years. Once my vision had fully focused, 

“She’s my mate”, nothing above a whisper. My head snapped over to him. Mate. That explained his reaction. I felt the guilt in my stomach at pulling him away from Feyre. My arms are already reaching to pull Rhys towards me into a hug. As my arms wrapped around him, he sobbed into my shoulder.

This wasn’t the Rhys I had come to know under the mountain. Sob after sob left his mouth and his precious wings dropped to the ground. I knew this was more than the reaction of a male who had his mate taken from him. This was my brother who had to watch his mate be in love with someone else after years of suffering. The cauldron had finally granted him a mate only to have her ripped away from him.

“I’m sorry” was all I could think to say. So many reasons for being sorry. Sorry for all he went through. Sorry for not being strong enough to stop it. Sorry that the female the mother had chosen for him was in love with the High Lord of Spring, and had willingly died for him. Sorry that I stole away what little time he had spent with her. 

Rhys let out another sob against my shoulder and it shook me to my core. I have heard him cry over Amarantha many times but seeing him break over Feyre was enough for me to want to march to spring and drag her to Velaris. But she wouldn’t want that. I know Rhys would have my head on a spike if I even offered. 

We both turned around at the sound of the door opening. Mor stood in silence, eyes scanning over us. Noticing our embrace. She stepped up to us and a soft smile crossed her face. 

“Tell me about your mate, Rhys.”

That was all it took for the flood gates to open. We did more than recall the details about the last few months. Rhys and I cherry picking only the most vital and important details. We kept a few things close to our chests. Those would stay our nightmares alone, Mor didn’t need to be haunted with our ghosts as well. 

Mor sat patiently before she finally interrupted. “She’s really dead?” Rhy freezed at the mention of Amarantha. I lightly placed a hand on his shoulder and answered for him. “Yes. But I don’t think this is over.” Mor just nodded sharply, looking at I both before she launched herself at both of I, arms coming up to wrap around my brother and myself. 

“If either of you ever do something that stupid again, I’ll kill you myself.” Her voice didn’t hold any malice, instead it shook with tears. My heart jumped as I left the weight of her emotions wash over me. The pain in my chest tightened as I realized how much our absence has truly shaken our family. I knew, of course, but seeing it was entirely different. 

The three of us began to settle and I finally had time to get my bearings in the house. As I let the glow of the house wrap around I. A familiar scent caught my attention, and my whole body sang. My head whipped around, looking for the source of that pine and night air, looking for Azriel.  Cas too of course but Azriel was on the front of my mind.  

Mor’s smile tilted slightly. “They should be back soon.” She sighed “They just went to the camps to check on all of them” She paused, stumbling over words  “ when we got that message from you, someone thought the most important thing was letting the camp leaders know that they had a high lord to answer to again.” This didn’t surprise me at all. Of course they would want, need, to fill in the Illyrian warriors that were now back under Rhys command with his return, Cassian having to take over that helm by nature of his position. It would be a fight, but one for a different day. 

         I wanted nothing more than to see the rest of my family and responsibilities be damned. I wanted to see them now. It had already been almost 50 years and in theory another day wouldn’t hurt but the house felt empty without the loudness of Cassian’s voice booming. It felt cold without Azriel’s shadows stirring around. 

As if Mor could sense my unease, she lightly grabbed my wrist and started pulling me deeper into the house. “I have so many books I need to show you.” That was all it took for me to laugh. Mind reeling as I tried to remember the last time I had truly laughed. 

The library was just as I had remembered it. The smell of old parchment and leather filled the space. Fires kept the room warm and light and I wanted that feeling to sink down into my bones. 

Mor gave me the space to just absorb my favorite room in the house. Rhys had given me full reign over how it was decorated. Comfy chairs that could accommodate wings and backless chairs tufted with fabric that looked like they were made of stardust were spread over the large room. The heavy wooden desk I had put in was covered in stacks of books. 

“I put all the ones I knew you would like over there.” Mor spoke up when she saw my eyes lock on the countless books. I felt my throat tighten up with tears at the thought she must have put behind the seemingly small action. It wasn’t uncommon for Mor and I to swap books as we finished them. Mostly so we could sit and talk about them for hours together. Mor and I spent many nights on the couches I had put in, falling asleep with our respective books still clutched in our hands. 

Looking at the stacks, a rough count told me there had to be over a hundred books, easily. 

“Looks like I have some serious reading to do.” I laughed. She beamed a smile at me. 

“Those are just the ones I knew you would like,” She walked over to one of the bookcases in front of the desk. “These are all the others that I need you to read so I can scream about them.”

Three whole shelves in total. It would take me gods know how long to get through them. I voiced that much. Mor waved me off. 

“You have all the time in the world to read them. It doesn’t have to happen all at once, but I’m not letting anything happen to you again. You’ll have time to read them all.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft. I turned to look at her and I saw the pink speckling her cheeks and right above her lips, the tell-tale signs that she was trying not to cry. I placed the book I had just picked up and threw my arms around her, squeezing her as tight as I possibly could. She nuzzled her head against my shoulder and all I could do was try to hold her tighter. 

By the time we pulled away from the hug, we were both a crying, giggling mess. I forgot how much I loved spending time with Mor. Regardless of how much I cared for my brothers, Mor and I were two sides of the same coin. Plus the boys wouldn’t sit and discuss the pure filth that tended to grace the pages of the books I devoured. 

“So, what one should I start with?” 

She all but squealed as she started flipping through the piles with me. We organized as we went. Placing them in piles of order that I should read them in. A few of the series I had been following had new installments that would most likely require a reread so those got placed on the back burner for the, now older, favorites she was dying to talk about. From there we were able to pick out one of her more recent favorites that had me itching to crack open immediately. She picked out one from her own pile across the room and the both of us settled into silence, the only sound was the fireplace cracking and pages turning. 

I don’t know how late it was when Rhys softly opened the door to sneak into the room. My eyes were starting to get dry from how little I was blinking, desperate to get through one more chapter before I called it a night. Something I had voiced to Mor about ten chapters ago. Mor who now was asleep on her own couch, her hair pooling over the edge almost touching the floor from the uncomfortable angel her head had fallen into. 

“The books will still be here after you’ve gotten some sleep,” Rhys said in a gentle mocking tone. Mor stirred slightly at his voice but remained sleeping. “Come on, I’d be an awful High Lord, and an even worse brother, if I let you fall asleep in the library on your first night home.” I nodded at his words. Truthfully, I couldn’t care less where I slept but for some reason, I could tell it mattered to Rhys. It would honestly be more normal for me to fall asleep anywhere but my room. Whether it be in the library or the large sectional in the living room or the comfy chairs on the rooftop, I rarely ever slept in my own bed. Rhys had ensured that every surface of the house was as comfortable as possible to account for this but I didn’t push or argue with him as I untucked my legs from underneath me and stood up. I debated leaving Mor to sleep but didn’t want her to wake up all alone. Reaching out a hand, I placed it on her shoulder and gave her a small shake. She groaned but opened her eyes anyway. 

“We’re being banished to our rooms.” I joked and pointed over the Rhys. She let out an even louder groan. 

“Overprotective bat.” Even Rhys laughed at her words. 

“Come on, before he carries us himself.” I held out a hand and I could see Mor contemplating just rolling back over and going back to sleep but she grabbed my hand. Pulling slightly, I helped her to her feet and she rolled her neck slowly. No doubt trying to work out whatever kink was starting to develop due to half of her head hanging off the thin couch. The three of us walked down the hallway to our rooms. Sleepily stumbling to doors. We reached Mor’s first and before she slipped in, she gave me another tiny hug and another to Rhys. 

“I love you guys,” Sleep was evident in the way she almost drunkenly stumbled over her words. I returned the sentiment and she was slipping into her bedroom, the door clicking shut behind her. 

Rhys and I stood outside her bedroom for a little longer, until we saw the light from under the door flicker out. Eventually, we continued walking until we got to my door. There was a slight pause as I turned the handle. Rhys and I would normally be curled up in my bed under the mountain by now. I vaguely thought about asking him to stay the night. Not that I think either of us were truly going to be able to sleep. As tired as I felt, I was afraid that if I closed my eyes for too long I was going to wake up and this was all going  to be a cruel dream.    

Rhys seemed to pick up on my hesitancy. “I can walk in with you. If you’re…”:

“Please.” I interrupted him. He gave me a soft smile and gestured for me to open the door. 

Nothing was out of place. The room smelt like my favorite perfume and when I looked around, there was no dust to be found. Someone had spent the time still cleaning the room while I was gone. I don’t know why that touched me as much as it did but as I looked around I felt all the unshed tears finally starting to take its toll. A sob ripped its way from my chest and Rhys’ arms were around me in an instant. 

He shushed me softly, rocking me slightly. “We made it. We’re free. We’re back home.” He repeated over and over until I had cried myself out. I pulled out of his embrace and wiped away the stray tears. Shaking my head at my outburst I muttered a thank you to my brother. 

“Try to get some sleep. I’ll be just across the hall if you need anything,” He says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and he gave me a sad smile as he walked out of the room. 

I wandered over to my dresser, fished around until I pulled out the first pair of pajamas I came across. I hastily pulled my clothes off and as I went to pull the nightgown over my head, I realized the layer of grim that was clinging to my skin. A bath was definitely needed before I climbed into my warm bed.        

The tub was already full and scalding hot by the time I had finished pouring in an obscene amount of oils and bath salts. Sinking in, I sighed out in relief as the heat enveloped me. Muscles in my neck and back released as I leaned my head against the edge of the tub. I picked up the sponge on the edge and started to wash myself off. After countless minutes of scrubbing, despite my raw skin I still didn’t feel clean. Huffing, I threw the sponge across the bathroom and pulled my knees up to my chest. I just sat curled up around myself until the water started to cool down. And it was still another handful of minutes before I could manage to pull myself upright and step out of the bath. I shivered at the temperature difference. Hugging my towel closer to my body, I quickly ran bacon into my room and threw the nightgown over my head. I burrowed underneath my comforter and tried to close my eyes. 

I tossed and turned until I started pleading with the mother, the cauldron, anyone that would listen to let me go to sleep. I was bone tired but everytime I closed my eyes something made me snap them open a few moments later. Every creek of the house had my ears prickling. Has the house always been this loud? I wondered how I never noticed it before. How I ever slept with all the noise. It was then I remembered that, if my room truly haven't been messed with since I had left, that I still had a sleeping tonic from when I had cracked a few ribs. Fae healing or not, ribs always were a pain to heal. Majda had given me a tonic to make me sleep so I could actually heal without Cassian making me laugh them out of place. I flung myself out of bed and padded over to my vanity. The small bottle of purple liquid still sat , half drank/ Uncorking it, I prayed that sleeping potions didn’t go bad and took a tentative sip. Fighting back a gag at the foul taste, I put the cork back on the top and walked back to my bed. The medicine had its desired effect. Not a minute later I felt my eyelids flutter close and  this time they stayed closed until I could sense the sun high in the air signaling the next day had come. 

Knocking on my door made me finally crawl out of bed. Goraning at having to leave the warmth, I flung open the door and was staring a slightly startled Rhys in the face. He held a small tray in front of him, stacked high with various foods. 

“I didn’t want to wake you up. You slept through breakfast and lunch and I  didn’t know what you would want so I brought a little of everything.” He spoke the words so fast that in my half awake state I struggled to keep up with them. I gestured for him to come in so he could place the tray on my bed. 

“Have you eaten?” I raised an eyebrow at him as I picked up a large strawberry.. His look told me that he had, in fact, not eaten. I pointed to my bed. “Sit and eat.” I barked, mouth full of strawberries. He laughed at some silent joke and picked up a piece of toast covered in some fruit jam. We were quiet as we ate, picking apart the platter he had brought in. Truly too much for one person to eat. Once we were both full, I wiped off my hands on my comforter and finished swallowing my last bite before I asked Rhys. “What do you have on the agenda for today?” He stilled and picked at a piece of lint on his sweater. 

“Not a lot. I’m trying to organize a meeting with the High Lords of the other courts to just debrief after everything.” He shrugged like that wasn’t going to be the hardest meeting to organize. “There are some young high lords and with all the aftermath of this…We just need to all talk this out.” I nodded along with him. The courts would need some time to bounce back after this but from the way things had seemed under the mountain, we didn’t have that time. As much as I prayed to be wrong about this, war was on the horizon and we would need to have the courts functioning as much as possible if we were going to stand a chance against Hyberns forces. Amarantha was just a taste of the power that he had, an experiment of sorts. 

Mor knocked on the open door before she walked in and plopped down next to Rhys. She took note of our stern faces but didn’t say anything. Instead, she swiped one of the sandwiches off of the tray and shoved half of it in her mouth in one bite. “You, me, library.” Was all she said before she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. 

“Well I know what you’re doing for the rest of the day.” Rhys laughed as I started to scramble to get dressed. I was about to start changing when I noticed he hadn't moved from his perch on my bed. “Get out!” I scratched at him and all but pushed him out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. His laugh echoed off the empty halls outside my door. 

In record time, I was running down the halls to the library. Mor was already sitting, her book curled against her chest. She didn’t look up from  her book as she pointed to the one I had abandoned last night. “Butt in chair, book in hand.” She said and I laughed at her tone. I walked over to my couch and picked up the book,  the spine slightly cracked from laying face down most of the day. 

I must have finally gotten to the juicy part of the book because I felt Mor Peering over the edge of her own book. My poker face was completely gone as I sunk in every word. “No. Absolutely not!” I screamed, rereading the last few pages to make sure I was seeing it correctly. 

“Did you finally get to..” I held up my hand to shush her. She laughed and threw one of the throw pillows at my head. I only put my book down long enough to catch the pillow, using it to now prop up my arms. Once I had confirmed I had not actually gone crazy, Mor and I started discussing the plot twist that had been the source of my outburst. She accidentally let a detail slip that had me scrambling back for the book, desperate to catch up to the point she had been talking about. This went on for hours until I saw her perk up. She turned to face me.

.

“They’re back.” Was all Mor said, still flipping through the book perched on her knees. I didn’t say anything else before I put my own book to the side and all but ran from the room. Her laugh bouncing off the walls behind me. 

I could smell him before I saw him. That deep cedar and cold rain smell that I could wrap myself in. Rhys tried to say something to him but stopped when he realized he no longer held his audience's full attention. Azriel’s shadows ripping across the room and curling around my feet like a small cat. I could have purred at the feeling, tears started to peek along the corners of my eyes at the familiar feeling. 

When I felt movement next to me, I felt momentary disappointment at the fact that Azriel was not standing in front of me. Strong arms wrapped around my middle and started to swing me in a circle, I felt joy so strong it almost hurt. Cassian sat me back down on my feet and when he went to speak, I wrapped my arms around him in return. We stood embracing each other, slowly rocking from foot to foot. 

“Missed you, Princess.” He muttered into my head. I just nodded, my cheek too squished against his chest to say anything. “I think Mor was going to kill us if she had to be the only girl living in the house. Amren can only handle so much damage control and the coward spent most nights at her apartment.” He nudged my shoulder as he spoke, pulling a laugh from me. It felt good to laugh again. My cheeks hurt in the perfect way at the smile that stretched over my face. 

A throat being cleared from across the room pulled my attention from Cassian. I could have melted into a puddle right then and there. Azriel stood in front of me, a true smile gracing his face. I squealed and rushed over into his arms. He didn’t swing me around like Cassian did, but he held me just as tight. It would have felt so right to crash my lips against his and he released me from his arms, but that wasn’t my relationship with Azriel. Those thoughts were nothing more than what I needed to make it through the events of the last fifty years. Azriel looked at me like I was a sister, nothing more. Rhys’ little sister on top of that. His high lord's little sister. He was the one who had coined my nickname centuries ago. When the trio first formed their own little band of brothers. I had gotten pulled in by proximity, Azriel said it one day and it had stuck ever since. “Hi Princess.” He said, tone polite but I could hear the joy behind them. I tried not to blush as I heard his voice. Shaking the things I had imagined that voice saying to me out of my head out, I mustered up a pathetic, “Hi, Az.” 

It had never felt this awkward around him. Cursing myself mentally for thinking of all the things I would say to him when I finally saw him again. None of those words made their way out of me as the two of us stared at each other. “I’m glad you’re home.” Was all he said his words short but I felt the sincerity leaking from them. Biting down the flutter in my heart,  I gave a short nod and wrapped my arms around myself. His eyes tracked the movement but didn’t say anything. 

Cass clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder, breaking the tension that I felt take over the room. “We’ll see you at training tomorrow,” I raised an eyebrow to him. “Don’t give me that look, I’m guessing you didn’t have time to… while you were gone. I can’t have my sister not able to defend herself. We would be the laughing stock of Pyrthian.” He smiled as I made a big show of rolling my eyes . 

So I joined them for training the next morning. And the next. Cassian slowly ran through the basics until I was nothing more than a mile of sore bones and sweat by the end of our sessions. I would shower and hang out with Mor. Rhys was suddenly very busy as he tried to catch up on all the events he missed in his court over the last fifty years. He made more and more trips to Hewn City, leaving Mor free to run around with me. Before I knew it a month had passed and all of us were sitting around the table for one of our family dinners. 

Jokes were flung around the table and no one noticed  the way Rhys and I sat back, sinking it all in. More than once I caught his eyes from across the table and all we could do was smile at each other. Is it bad to say that I missed this? I spoke into his head as Mor and Cassian had started raising their voices at each other, getting into a slight argument over some random events of the day. I did too. Even when we both flinched at the volume Cassian’s voice had risen too. Even Azriel had started to chime in before Mor shot him down with a withering look. I laughed despite myself at his expression. I shut up when that look was turned to me. 

The conversation fell into a natural lull and everyone was happily eating. Rhys hissed at something, shaking his arm that bore the bargain mark. Something must have prickled down the weird connection. 

“I still can’t believe you let her go with Tamlin.” Cassian said, stabbing something on his plate with a little more force than necessary. Rhys bared his teeth at his brother. 

“I didn't have much of a choice, now did I?” He slumped back into his chair, still rubbing his hand. “She already hated me because of this stupid bargain but if I had stolen away from the male she was willing to die for…”

“But Rhys. It’s Tamlin. No one would have slighted you, not after…” Cassian’s gaze flickered to me. As hard as I was trying to tune out the conversation, I still felt my chest tighten at their words. Rhys would have never taken Feyre without her permission, well at least outside of the bargain but we both knew that was simply a means to an end. Regardless of how much it must hurt to have another person he cared about over in spring, Rhys wouldn’t take that choice away from her, no matter how concerned he might be for  her safety. 

“How  was it seeing the brute again?” Amren asked and the table silenced. I froze and kept my gaze locked down at my plate. Suddenly losing my appetite completely.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I itched at my wrist, tugging at the fabric that felt too tight around my wrist. Azriel placed a comforting hand over mine. I flashed him a thankful smile.

“You haven’t wanted to talk about it for over a century.” She prodded. 

“And she shouldn’t have to if she doesn’t want to,” She took a breath like she was about to press the issue. “Why does it matter to you anyways?” Azriel hissed at her. Amren had the decency to take a hint and held up her hands in surrender, a smirk plastered on her face. 

We all sat in silence for the rest of dinner. Even Cassian knew better than to make any comments due to the tension in the air. Everytime he would go to say something, Rhys would shoot daggers at him. Eventually I got sick of it and threw my napkin down. 

“Fine. You want to know what it felt like?” I shouted at Amren. Everyone flinched. “I am terrified for that girl. Because I know what loving Tamlin does to someone. Seeing him felt just like you whenever someone mentions the prison.” She paled at my words and I didn’t spare her another look as I pushed away from the table, storming out. I know I would regret my words later but sometimes Amren needed a taste of her own medicine. She just loved to push everyone buttons because we were all too scared to really piss her off. 

I flung myself into my bed, still fully dressed. I groaned into my pillow. Apologies could wait until tomorrow. A knock from the door had me fighting back swears. Stomping over to the door, I ripped it open and a very startled Rhys was standing in the hallway, hand raised like he was about to knock again. 

“I wanted to check on you.” The high lord said.

“I’m fine” I gritted out and he raised an eyebrow at me. I let out a heavy sigh. 

“I know I shouldn’t have taken the bait but I don’t want to talk about him, right now or ever, if I can avoid it.” Rhys’ eyes held sympathy and he just contuined standing in the hallway, letting me rant. “I mean it’s been so long. I didn’t want to talk about it then. No one’s asking how you feel about Tamlin.” I paused and Rhys just shrugged. 

“If she’s happy with him, then it’s not my place to try to save her. If she wants to come here, then I’ll happily let her do that too.” 

I stared at him like he had gone crazy. “What about the bargain?” He shrugged again

“It was necessary at the time. I don’t actually plan on cashing in on it. She’d only hate me. More.” I could feel his despair. The self loathing held behind those words. 

“Rhys.” He shook his head.

“I’ll never take away her choice in this. Just because she’s my mate doesn’t mean I have a claim to her. Regardless of every nerve in my body screaming otherwise. It’s her life. She’s given more than enough to deserve whatever, whoever, makes her happy.” I went to hug him and he stepped out of my reach. “As much as I appreciate it, I don’t need your sympathy for making the right decision.” He tried to play it off as a joke but I knew he truly meant it. 

“Well if you ever want to talk about it…”

“Like how you want to talk about Tamlin.” He cut me off. My mouth set into a thin line and I took that as a dismissal of the conversation. Fine. I just wanted to crawl into bed anyway. 

“Well now that we’ve established that. Anything else you want to say, oh mighty High Lord.” 

“No.” 

“Good. Good night.” I said and swiftly shut the door in his face. I love my brother but he really knows how to get under my skin sometimes. I know deep down I’m mad because he called me out. I can’t expect him to pour his heart out to me when I won’t do the same thing. 

I threw the covered back and crawled in, still fully dressed. Mind reeling. I wouldn’t even know where to start with talking to anyone about Tamlin. And what good would it do? All of that was in the past and talking about it would only piss everyone off all over again. We had just barely avoided attacking the spring court when I came home. I don’t want to drag Feyre into this now that she’s there. 

I managed to finally fall asleep, tossing and turning. Dreams filled with deep swirling greens and the sound of growls. 

When I woke up in the morning I could tell it was later than normal. The sun is slightly higher in the air. Snapping out of my sleepy haze I cursed as I jumped out of bed. I was late for training and Cassian wasn’t going to let me forget that. 

Throwing on my clothes, mentally screaming at all the buckles on my training leathers. I knew not eating was going to come back to bite me in the ass but I simply didn’t have time as I sprinted through the house. In my haste, I passed a grinning Rhys. The events from last night seemingly forgiven as he taunted me. 

“Maybe he’ll consider this your warm up today.” I held up a crude gesture and he only laughed harder.  

I made it to the training rink in record time. My hands were on my knees as I panted. The stitch in my side was already screaming at me but I forced myself to stand up straight as Cassian sauntered over to me. The split in his lip told me Him and Azriel had gotten started without me. 

“You’re late, princess.” I flinched at his tone. He surveyed me. “I think double drills should be enough to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I cursed, I couldn’t get through the routine once without limping back to the house. Two would kill me and he knew it. 

“What are you waiting for? An invitation?” He held out his hand “Consider this it.” He stepped away from me, going back over to Azriel. I know Cassian wasn’t actually mad at me. He also knew that if he went easy on me, I wouldn’t take training seriously. I appreciated the routine of it all and I really did need it. So sighing I got started. 

I was halfway through my second set when Cas called me over. 

“Lesson learned?” He simply asked. I nodded. Still trying to take in breath. My muscles are screaming at me for still being vertical. 

“Good because Cas and I decided it’s finally time to step this up a notch. You’re almost the same as you were before. Now it’s time to get your powers involved. Relearn how to fight with those.” Azriel spoke. My stomach sank. This was something I hadn't considered. It was a stupid oversight on my part and I didn’t know how to get myself out of this so I responded with the truth. 

“I don’t have my powers.” 

“Okay, nice joke” Cassian cut in.

“I’m not joking. I can’t use them anymore.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” 

“I can’t use my powers” I grumble. “They’re still in there but it’s like I’m fighting against a wall.” Azriel raised an eyebrow at that revelation. 

“How do you know?” 

“I don’t know but all I know is I tried to use them… you know… And they wouldn’t come. Everyone had theirs back so I know it wasn’t the curse. So for whatever reason I couldn’t make them work.” It was embarrassing to admit. My powers had been the only truly useful thing I could rely on in the training ring. 

“Have you tried since then?” I nodded. Not so much of a glimmer of them since I came home. I told Cassian that much and he swore under his breath. 

“We could always take you to see Helion.” I shook my head at his words. 

“I don’t want to burden him with more problems. He has enough to do in his own court. I’ll figure it out, but for now I’ll just have to fight the old fashioned way.” 

Neither of the males in front of me seemed to be happy with my response but Cassian jumped right back in.

“Fine. But that means that you have a lot more training to do. If you had your powers you would be fine. But in just plain hand to hand combat, you’d get your ass kicked by anyone with any skill.” 

I glared at him but I knew he was telling the truth. Grabbing his arm, I pulled him into the center of the ring and tossed him one of the training swords. Heavy but they wouldn’t do nearly as much damage when he hit me. 

“Do your worst then.” Was all I said before he charged at me. 

“You’re sloppy.” Cassian barked as he knocked the sword out of hand again, again. I held my wrist as it twisted at a weird angel. My cheeks heated with anger and I went to wipe the sweat that had formed on my brow with my other, only to find it just as damp. I recoiled in disgust and Cassian laughed again. 

“You try getting your shit kicked in for fifty years and see how you bounce back.” I spoke and I saw his face pale. Shit. “Joking Cas, it’s okay.” 

I shook my head. “I am sloppy. And that’s why I’m still training with your annoying ass. You’ll have me back in tip top shape.” He relaxed slightly, but his shoulders still wouldn’t lower. 

I sighed and did the only thing I could think of as he turned away from me. I jumped onto his back, being mindful of his wings and pulled him down to the ground. The air left his lungs in a whoosh as I took us both onto our sides, I quickly bounded to my feet, ignoring the sting in my side from the impact. 

“Come on you big Illyrian baby.” I raised my arms slightly in front of me and a flicker of something crossed Cassian's face and I saw him make the decision to play along. To pretend that this was just a normal day of training. He leapt to his feet with a surprising amount of grace. 

“If you want a fight, you got it princess” He said with a smirk. We both stood in the middle of the training ring, circling each other, waiting  for the other to make the first move. Swords forgotten off to the side. I saw the slight twitch of his left side and I made the choice to ignore the fake out, and went to block my right side. It was the right choice, the blow aimed toward my right side bounded off my forearm, it still stung but at least it didn’t put me on my ass like it would have had it made contact. I grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm back, pulling him closer towards me and pushing on his back. He only stumbled for a second before he regained his footing. That kick had put me off balance more than I anticipated and it was easy for Cassian to grab the leg that lowered too slowly, grabbing my ankle and yanking me to my stomach. I yelped at the contact. He laughed loudly as I held my hand up in surrender. I rolled over onto my back with a groan. 

“Give me a few days back in training and I’ll have you on your ass, General.” He laughed even harder.

“In case you forgot, princess, you could barely do that even on your best days. Give yourself more time.” 

“A week.” I responded with my own laugh. Whatever I had done, it worked. Cassian’s shoulders had fully relaxed and I noticed the smile gracing his face finally reached his eyes. I noticed Azriel starting a few feet away. I sat back on my elbows, propping myself up. “Want a round, Az?” I teased and was rewarded by him rolling those big hazel eyes. 

“I think you’ve hurt yourself enough for today.” Was all he said before he turned to stalk away  from the ring. I laid back down in the dirt of the ring at his retreating figure, sighing heavily. Cas comes to stand over me, offering me a hand up. I grab it, pulling myself up. 

“Give him some more time to come around. This was harder for him than the rest of us.” He was suddenly serious. “He’ll get there, but you know him. Broody as they come.” He nudged me with his wing and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the gesture. I nodded in understanding and the pair of us walked back up to the house. 

This was harder for him than the rest of us. The words bounced around my head for the rest of the day. It makes sense. Azriel would have seen this as him failing. Not only failing me but his High Lord. Regardless of how hard everyone must have tried to comfort him, he would always blame himself, and only himself, for Rhys and I going under the mountain.  

It also explained why Azriel seemed to be avoiding me. Besides that first awkward meeting, he always managed to find an excuse to not be in the same room as me if he could avoid it. I’ve been home for almost a month now and I had hardly seen him. The few times I ran into him in the hall, he would quickly and politely brush me. Not saying anymore than a few words in greeting or response to a question I might have asked him. Be patient. I could do that. But it was hard to ignore the sting in my chest every time he brushed me off. We were practically joined at the hip before I left. I fit seamlessly into the fold of the trio but now Azriel felt like a stranger again. 

My mind was too full of thoughts to begin to try to settle down, so after I bathed the dirt and sweat off, I changed into a loose nightgown that almost went to the ground and padded off for the library. When I got to the door, it was slightly cracked, light from the fireplace filling even the hallway with its warmth. It was like the room itself was calling to me and as I stepped in. Above the crackle of the fire, I made out the sound of pages turning, of fabric rustling as someone shifted on one of the couches in the room. I searched for the source of the sound and found none other than Azriel lounging with a book propped open on his lap. He didn’t seem to notice me until one of his shadows snuck off his lap and slithered over to my feet, wrapping around them like they always did. 

He closed his book and glanced over to where I stood in the doorway. Something flashed across his eyes that I couldn’t decipher before it faded away. He cleared his throat and said a generic greeting. My heart sank as I saw him mark the page he was on in his book, and place it on the end table to his right. I tried not to pout as I said. “Don’t leave on my account.” I said, keeping my tone light to hide the oily feeling pooling in my stomach. The shadow at my feet seemed to curl in tighter to me as Azriel went to stand. 

“I was just finishing up anyways.” He couldn’t seem to meet my eyes. “The rooms all yours.” 

“Azriel…” I don’t know what I was going to stay. Maybe beg him to stay with me, maybe start shouting at him but I know none of that would help, would only make both of us feel worse. Be patient with him. So I bit back all the words I wanted to say to him and simply said. “Good night.” He called to me as he headed out of the room, his shoulder just barely brushing mine as he passed by me. The room suddenly felt too cold so I willed the house to put the fire out and walked out, heading back to my own room suddenly feeling very tired. 

I crawled under my covers and tried to push the thought of Azriel’s eyes out of my mind as I drifted off into a fitful sleep. 

 I sensed it. I was back under the mountain. Nonono. This can’t be happening but I saw it all out in front of me. Rhys was in front of me, standing on the dais with Amarantha standing next to him. I almost broke down, knees buckling, when I saw that all-too-familiar mask of indifference grace my brother's face. I tried to call out but my voice wouldn’t come out, feet locked in place as I stood and helplessly watched as the red haired female reached a finger under Rhys chin. Bile raised in my throat as I saw her whisper something to him, something I couldn’t make out. When I tried to reach out for his mind, I was met with nothing more than those iron thick walls he built up. Amarantha’s eyes locked on mine and it was like she set me on fire. My skin burned, the string of her breaking my bones, of the attors smacking me down everytime I said something out of place. Finally I seemed to find my voice, but only a scream ripped from my throat at the phantom pain. Her red lips curled into a cold smile. “Welcome back pet.” another scream made its way from my throat. 

I flung myself into a sitting position, jolting awake from the nightmare. My lungs ached as I gulped down air. My skin still burned and I threw off my blanket, pulling my knees to my chest. I almost screamed again as I realized the presence of something, someone, in my room. 

Azriel’s soft voice said my name. “I heard you scream, I thought…” My eyes finally adjusted and I could make out his frame. “I’m sorry. I'll go.” 

“No.” I rasped, throat raw. I must have actually been screaming. That explains his presence in my room, kind of. My hand went up to my neck attempting to rub away the pain in my chest. The pain didn't stop the request that bubbled over my lips. “Please. Stay.” I saw him go still, turning back around to me. Even in the dark, I was able to find his eyes, wide open as they locked on mine. Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried not to sniffle. 

He whispered my name again. “Just go back to sleep.” He was starting to turn around again. My body reacted faster than my mind, I reached over the large bed, reached for his arm. “Please.” It was all I could get out. Please stay. Please talk to me. Please can we pretend that all of this didn’t happen and please be my best friend again. So many things tied into that one word. It’s almost like he sensed it and he sighed, relaxing into my touch. 

“Only until you fall back asleep.” He sounded exhausted and his tone made me feel heavy all over again. He still shuffled in behind me. I tried not to think about the fact that when I went to tuck myself into his chest that I was met with bare skin. Resisted the urge to trail my hand down along those perfect abs, to the deep vee that I knew laid beneath them. I just buried myself deeper into his side and I felt his wings wrap around me, shielding me from the world around us as I drifted back to sleep. The smell of cedar lulling me into a dreamless sleep. 

I woke up feeling more rested than I had since I’ve been back home. I knew he wouldn’t still be here but my hand still reached out to the side of the bed he’d been in, still warm. He had stayed. That explains why I slept so well. His scent lingered in the room and not caring how desperate it might have seemed, I buried my face into the pillow he had been laying on. I let his scent surround me and calm me down. A knock on the door had me groaning but sitting up anyways. 

‘You didn’t come to breakfast so I wanted to check on you…” More said as she opened the door, she looked around as she spoke and her face fell slightly before continuing. “I had Nuala make you a tray in case you were hungry when you woke up.” She held a small wooden tray in her hand and I beamed at her, touched by the small gesture from my cousin. 

“Thank you.” Was all I could get out, tears threatening to fall at the kindness in her action. 

“I heard you last night.” She spoke quietly as she walked to the edge of my bed, sitting down at my feet. “I know I wasn’t there, but if you ever need to talk, or just someone to listen to. I’ll always be here.”

“You don’t need that stuff in your head too. It’s bad enough it's mine.” 

She said my name in a concerned tone and I waved her off. “Don’t we have some books you need me to finish?” I said, deflect. She sighed sensing she wouldn’t win this one.

“Maybe we should take a break from the library today.” My face dropped as I thought of what I could possibly do with my day if it wasn’t reading with Mor. “I need to go shopping for some stuff, start looking around for Solstice presents and I haven't had a proper shopping buddy…” She trailed off, giving me a full megawatt smile. 

“Alright let's go, before you start batting your eyelashes at me.” I playfully rutted her in the ribs and she threw her arm over my shoulder.

I haven't gone out to the shops in Velaris since I’d been back home. A part of me had forgotten how beautiful my home truly was. I tried not to stare in awe at the new vendors, the smell of food lingering in the air. People walked to and fro, running errands for the day. Mor and I had found one of my favorite dress shops and all but pulled me into the shop. 

The designer was known for her slightly scandalous fashion. Floor length gowns with cut outs that left little to the imagination but were still heartbreakingly gorgeous. By the time Mor and I left, our arms were full of bags and I still had a few more dresses to pick up that needed to be altered. 

We flitted in and out of more stores until the sun was starting to sink behind the horizon. When I noticed where we were I almost suggested we stopped by Rita’s but my shoulders were starting to hurt from the weight of the bags and Mor wouldn’t be able to winnow us into the house if we did have a few drinks nor did I even want to think of carrying them back. 

So when we finally checked out from the last store, Mor having purchased a honestly hideous printed shirt for Cassian, we joined arms and started the walk back to the townhouse. 

After dropping off all of my new things in my room, I knew I had to go apologize to Rhys. Armen could wait, if I ever bothered to say sorry to her. She wouldn’t hold it against me either way. Our relationship was more antagonist than anything else anyways. So I put the clothes into my closet and padded off to find Rhys.

Eventually I found him in his study. He didn’t look up as I closed the door behind me. I called his name. Still nothing. So I walked over to his desk. I noticed he was clutching a letter in his hand, holding it so tightly that it was starting to crinkle. I went beside him and soothed the letter out of his hand. My face paled as I read carefully over the words.

Feyre was marrying Tamlin. 

The letter wasn’t an invitation. Just a simple announcement that would be extended to all high lords when one of them married. I dropped the piece of paper like it had burned me. I grasped for the right words to say to my brother, but when he looked up at me they all faded away. Agony I had never quite seen in them before knocked the breath from my lungs. 

“I know I have no reason to be upset. I should just be happy that she’s  happy. But I can’t find it in me.” He stared at the tattoo on his hand. “I’ll never see her again. Not after she marries him. I might get glimpses at balls but I’ll never really be able to see her.” Never be able to see her because we both know how Tamlin treats the people he loves. The gilded cage Feyre will be locked in the moment she says “I do”. I gave myself a moment to mourn for the girl. But I know there was nothing either of us could do in this situation. So I did the only thing I could think of. I strolled over to the bar cart in the corner of the room and poured both of us a few fingers of whiskey. He eyed it carefully as I passed him the glass. He took it out of my hands and knocked it back in one fluid motion. I did the same with mine. Holding out the glass for more, I poured him another. We just sat drinking until the familiar flush started to creep onto my face. Rhys hasn't said much, neither of us have. Content with drinking away the pit in both of our stomachs. 

“I love her.” He said after he finished his third glass. He didn’t sound. In fact this was  the most sober I think I had ever heard him

“I think I’ve loved her since I first saw her in the spring court. But I know I loved her when she offered herself in place of Tamlin. This brave human offering to save our entire world, who before that moment would have let her tear her to shreds.” He grimaced, as if the very thought disgusted him. 

“So tell her.” I said with a shrug. He glared at me. 

“You know it’s not that easy.” I did know. But I wanted him to be happy. I didn’t want him to have to sit here and drown out his sorrow while Tamlin got to play hero. Tamlin, who sat around while my brother risked his neck time and time again to save Feyre. He slumped down into his chair and laughed at the ceiling. 

“The mother can be a real bitch sometimes. I don’t know what I did to deserve all this good fortune.” His voice was bitter and truly didn’t know how to respond. I went to pour him another glass but he put a hand over his glass. 

“As much as I appreciate what you’re doing. I think I need to go to sleep before I march into the Spring Court and drag her out. Regardless of if she’ll hate me or not.”  His eyes soften as he looks at me. “You should head to bed soon too. I don’t need to look into your mind to know you’re going a million miles a minute right now.” 

He wasn’t wrong. My thoughts had been roaring around in my head since I read that letter. It wasn’t hard to put myself back into Feyre’s shoes. My heart panged for this selfless girl. How long until the cracks in the foundation started show and she would be pulled into the storm that is Tamlin. I nodded in acknowledgement of his words. Putting the cork back onto the glass bottle. I rose from my chair, rolling my stiff shoulders. Rhys and I both returned to our respective rooms. 

Hard as I tried, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned but couldn’t get comfortable. I had run out of the sleeping tonic a few nights before so I just accepted that sleep wasn’t going to come. I made no move to get out of bed though. I just curled my covers tighter over me. When the sun peeked through my curtain. I didn’t get up. I didn’t go to training. I didn’t even get up from my bed until mid afternoon, just going far enough to use the bathroom. Immediately crawling back into the warmth of my bed. 

Someone had knocked on the door and I pretended to be asleep when I heard the door click open. I ignored the smell of cedar until I felt a shadow sweep across my bed, settling by my face. If it knew I was asleep, it didn’t respond to its master. But it also didn’t leave when my door softly shut. I just turned to face away from the ripple of blackness. Not wanting to deal with the comfort the small action granted me. 

When I finally left my bedroom the next day, I learned Rhys had behaved similarly yesterday. The two of us floating around the house. We were bad enough that the others cleared out of whatever room we were in. I couldn’t find it in myself to really care enough to knock it off. 

This continued for the remainder of the week leading up to the date of the wedding. I expected the same behavior as I woke up the morning of the big day. But when I walked into the kitchen, Rhys was sitting around the table with Cassian and Azriel, head thrown back in laughter. He turned his head to me as I walked in and smiled at me.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better.��� I grunted at him. Walking to the fridge I pulled out a bowl of fruit and swiped a couple pieces of sliced strawberry. He hummed in response and Cassian spoke up.

“We’re going to the cabin later, if you want to come with us. We’ll need someone to help us finish all this booze.” He gestured to three large boxes that were occupying the floor of the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow to Rhys and he shook his head. Drop it. He spoke in my head. I shoved him out and when I looked back at him, he looked hurt. 

“Boys, can I speak to my brother alone?” The two looked confused but stood up from the table regardless. 

“You don’t approve?” Rhy asked plainly. I scoffed.

“They might not know what today is, but I do,” I snatched the unopened bottle from his hand. “If you want to drink yourself stupid, I won’t stop you but that doesn’t prevent all of this from happening.” He made a lunge for the bottle and I was somehow able to keep it out of his grasp. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. 

“What do you want me to say? That I would rather her marry anyone else than him? That I wish I was the one that she was happy to see. That I wished she would change her mind…” He trailed off. Eyes seemingly far away.  Horror washed over his face. 

“Rhys?” I spoke softly, wondering if I pushed him too hard. 

“I have to go.” Was all he said and before I could catch him, he had winnowed away. 

I had been on edge since Rhys disappeared with no sign of where he was going to. It hasn't been more than an hour but I was about to wear a hole through the rugs in the hallway with my pacing. Suddenly, I heard Rhys in my head. Grab Mor and meet me at the big house. I didn’t respond. Just went to find Mor, she must have received a similar message because when I got to her room she was already waiting for me. She didn;t ask any questions, merely grabbing my arm and winnowing us to the house we rarely ever used. When we arrived to the house I nearly gasped as I saw why Rhys had disappeared so suddenly. I just had time to make out a satin slipper as it was chucked with deadly precision right at Rhys’ head. She had barely launched the other one at him before she stormed off up the stairs. Rhys was all but growling as he stalked over to us. “That went well.” Mor snorted at him and this time Rhys actually growled at her before stalking over to his own room. 

We didn't see or hear from Feyre for the rest of the night, the three of us eating in silence. I felt the tension rolling off of Rhys when Nuala and Cerridwen informed us that Feyre hadn't eaten the dinner they had left for her. My stomach sank and I avoided the stare from my brother. He had asked me to go check on her. Saying that I could offer her some company. I didn’t have it in me to talk to her yet. Didn’t want to make this day, this decision, about me. And I know going into that room I would see a younger version of myself I wasn’t ready to face. 

The next day, Rhys had insisted on her joining us for breakfast. She came stomping down the stairs. “I’m not a dog.” She sneered at him before taking a tentative seat at the table. 

She looked around and her eyes locked onto mine, recognition sparkling in them,

“I remember you. You were under the mountain. What are you doing here?” Her tone was surprisingly pleasant, a stark contrast from every word she had said to my brother. 

I introduced myself. “I’m his sister.” She laughed at that. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” It was hard to bite back my comment while I looked at her. It was like looking into an old memory, the dark circle around her eyes, the way the light had completely vanished behind them. She didn’t even look like this under the mountain. Tamlin had broken her completely. I’m sorry for you. I didn’t say that though, instead just responding with a simple. 

“You get used to it.” 

“I doubt that.” She snorted and started picking at the food in front of her.

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

can i request killer sans x a reader that has body dysmorphia and bc of that they keep stressing themselves out w diets and working out and killer helps them out? tyyyy if u do <33 want to let yknow i also love ur writing!!

I hope this meets your expectations! I myself didn't ever have body dysmorphia, yet I tried my best to write this as accurately as I can.

Also, obviously not canon Killer bc canon Killer wouldn't give a fuck about anyone.

Featuring: Killer.

Masterlist

He never understood why you always stressed yourself because of diets and daily hours spent at the gym. And he never will, because for him, your body is already perfect no matter the chub on your body.

Yet you didn't think the same, and that bugged him, a lot.

Seeing you practically starve yourself willingly to fit in the society's views made him mad. He saw you always check the calories of the things you bought- leaving things you loved just because it'd make you "fat" in your eyes. It angered him.. watching you worry about your body mass like it's a broken bone and not something that exists for a reason.

.

You looked at the mirror again, barely seeing anything on the darkness of the room, your hands touching the soft skin of your almost flat belly. Your ribs and bone structure could be clearly seen being clenched by your skin, yet it was not enough..

"..I'm still fat.."

You frowned as you turned around and climbed back to bed, you've gotten sick and Killer didn't let you out of the house, that meant no gym, no working out, and he was the one preparing your meals and making sure you didn't forcefully throw up in the toilet. You had no idea how he convinced Nightmare to let him have quicker missions so he could come home, yet he didn't bother explaining to you.

The sound of a door opening and closing could be faintly heard, followed along with footsteps of the person you already expected. Turning your head your eyes met with Killer's empty sockets, a plastic bag in his hand which he put on the nightstand before sitting down on the bed and kissing your forehead.

"How are ya feeling babe? Better?"

"mm... A bit.."

Your lips mumbled softly seeing him smile, grab the bag and put it in front of you.

"Damn it's dark in here huh? No idea how ya can see anything!"

The skeleton jokes standing up and approaching the window blinds, your hands fell inside the bag taking various chocolates, sweets and snacks from it. As the sun light suddenly shined through the window, you turned a package of cookies around to check the calories on the back, only to notice everything except the expiration date was scribbled in back, no numbers or ingredients that always worried your head were visible.

"Don't worry, made sure none of these have something yer allergic to."

He assured stretching his back and getting his jacket off, tossing it somewhere inside his side of the wardrobe and jumping face into the soft mattress of the bed, letting out a tired sign before turning his face to you.

"Killer.. I..."

You paused.

"..Thanks.."

He smirked sitting and covering half his body with the warm sheets, sticking his hand inside the plastic and grabbing a packet of crispy fries, opening it and quickly stuffing a whole bunch inside his mouth.

"mm, no problem babe, love ya."

His socket winked at you as his fangs crunched the fries. Your hand slowly opened the package of cookies and took a relaxed bite out of it. Maybe covering the calories of what you eat isn't a bad idea..

[rotten-pomegranate]

Day twenty four : thigh riding with yandere chrollo

Tags: @aliceattheart @my-eyelash-flew-off

Warnings: yandere, dubcon, Noncon, biting mention, short

/|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\

“Well dear I’m certainly not gonna force you but if you want to go to the market I suggest your comply”

He couldn’t do this to you, make you earn a basic human right to go outside

“Chrollo please no” he gives a quick glance at his thigh and then back to the book he was reading

You already felt vulnerable standing in front of him in nothing but a bra and panties he provided you with

“But- I, please chrollo” he doesn’t even look up

You had seen a billboard outside the hotel window about a market and begged chrollo to take you

He never let you get anything for free, not a bread crumb, not a human right to step outside without his hand on the back of your neck guiding you everywhere you go

He said he would let you go out with him if you rode his thigh, you don’t know why this was his offer, at least if he wanted to fuck you all you had to do was lay there and let him have his way with you

But no he needed you to humiliate yourself for him before he brought you

You take a slow step forward, almost as if he would bite you if you stepped to close to fast, not that he hasn’t bitten you before

Your close enough the your leg slightly brushes the bend of his knee

You take a deep breath and look at his clothed thigh, you never even noticed he was staring right at you until you look at his face

“Well?” You take one last look at his face before focusing on his leg and slowing taking a seat

His muscular leg was just firm enough you didn’t have to apply pressure aside from your weight to feel little jolts of pleasure going through you

You give a small roll of your hips and instantly reach up to his shoulders for support

You hated him, you hated the way he took your from all your freedom, all the things you loved but right now you hated yourself the most

You where willingly riding his thigh and all for what, a market, this was shameful

You speed up and he placed the book down to grabs our hips in unwanted attention and guidance

“Ahh yes, that’s it” your orgasm was approaching quicker then expected and you could feel the knot in your stomach building

The material of his pants pared with your panties what heavenly and even while trying to fight off any noise your whimpers and moans where coming through clearly

He must have noticed your legs getting tired because he puts it upon himself to move his leg and his hands on your waist in a more involved way

“C-chrollo, I’m gonna cum” it was true, your orgasm was building to a point that almost hurt to hold back

When you snap he can tell and he helps your through it still with the gentle guidance of your hips

You twitch a little and fall into his arms, with your face pointed downward on his shoulder you could clearly see the mess you mad on his pants, it soaked straight through your panties

When you come down from your high you manage to get the words out “-s-so, will you take me?”

He pulls you in for a hug and sighs against your head “I’ll think about it, it’s still a few days away, maybe you can persuade me”

A single tear rolls down your cheek when you hear those words, you did all this for nothing, he was gonna say no, he always said no but that didn’t stop you from ding what he wanted

If only to make your life a little easier 

[kpopluvrsblog]

Say it again

pairing: idol!gunwook x idol!fem!Reader

genre: Angst + fluff, kinda suggestive at the end oops

a/n: BASED OFF OF MY DREAM. I have no idea who it was about but gunwook is cute so

“Everyone, we’re here!” Your manager shouts from the front of the bus, startling you awake. You look out the window to see the retreat you were staying at for the next 3 weeks. The house was modern styled with gigantic glass windows and acres of space surrounding.

You happily exit the bus with your members to meet the boys you would be collaborating with. It was none other than Zerobaseone. Making eye contact you all greet one another before smiling at gunwook. You guy’s were not official yet, but both of your groups knew of the chemistry between you two.

“hey y/n” gunwook smirks towards you before walking up next to you and rubbing your back. “gunwook” you teasingly respond back, a light blush coating your cheeks.

“Okay now that we’re all here you guys are allowed to check out the place! You have the rest of tonight free and recording starts tomorrow morning.” Your manager shouted once more before turning away to do his own thing.

“hey wookie! Wanna come check it out with me?!” Your member mina said as she made her way over to you two, reaching out to grab his arm and drag him away. It all happened so fast that you didn’t have time to react... but why the fuck was he willingly going with her??

You stand in place with your eyebrows furrowed, still confused about what just happened. “what the fuck was that? Does she know about you guys?!” You hear gyuvin say behind you, making his way to your side to lead you inside of the house.

“I dont know but apparently he doesn’t either” you respond dryly, watching them walk through the front door together.

“How do you feel about her whispering into his ear like that y/n…” gyuvin continued before getting smacked upside the head by hanbin.

“Not funny vin.” He said coldly now walking beside you guys.

You feel your heart start to clench at the thought. What the fuck is going on?

As you enter the door you hear mina’s annoying voice once more, ” this should be our room wook!”

As soon as you heard that you grabbed him by the arm, leading him back to the entrance.

“Hello? Why the fuck aren’t you saying anything to her?? Are you really going to sleep with her?” You say angrily with tears starting to line up against your waterline.

“What no!! baby I didn’t know what to do! she never gave me a chance to talk!” He sputtered out, scared of what this could lead to.

“SO? You could’ve pulled away gunwook! stop making excuses when you know she has a thing for you. And dont call me baby, we clearly aren’t a thing.” You respond, pulling yourself away from him and locking yourself in the room beside you before he could get a chance to retaliate.

You hear commotion outside of the bedroom as you hear hanbin dragging gunwook away and scolding him, along with the rest of your members yelling at mina for how she was acting. Throwing yourself on the bed, you finally let the tears fall. Feelings of betrayal and hate flowing through. How could he do this to you? Were all the late night talks and meaningful actions a joke?

You dont know how much time has passed before you hear a knock at your door. You didn’t even eat because you didn’t want to face anyone at the moment.

“y/n darling.” You hear hanbin softly say from the other side of the door. “Please let me in.”

Your lip quivers slightly at the caring tone before you pick yourself up and unlock the door for him. He barges through and immediately bear hugs you. “I’m so sorry” he starts.

“Gunwook knows he messed up y/n, He’s doing terrible right now and has been crying for the last few hours. He wont stop. He knows he hurt you but was scared at the situation and didn’t know if he should push her away or if he’d come off as mean.” He lets out with a sigh and tears brimming his eyes at how hurt you both were.

“binnie I dont know… It just hurt so much to see. I know we aren’t official or anything but I thought I meant more to him than that.” You respond, now letting yourself cry in his arms.

“you need to talk to him. This needs to get solved immediately. I know now might not be the time but mina is gone… something about some online scandals so the manager took her away, kinda funny” He says while you lightly smack him on the back, taking in all of the information.

“I’m getting him.” Hanbin quickly says and runs away before you can tell him no. Bringing back a devastated looking gunwook in less than 30 seconds.

He pushed gunwook into your room and shut the door quick. Just seeing gunwook in front of you causes the tears to rapidly fall again.

He gasps and quickly makes his way to grab you, holding your head to his chest. “y/n baby. I’m so sorry. I told myself I would protect you and here I am hurting you. Please I love you so much I can’t lose you now.” He hiccups, tears flowing down his cheeks.

Your face beats red at the sudden confession. “you…love me?” Is all you can get out from the shock.

“Oh. I didn’t mean to tell you like this im sorry I-“

You cut off his rambling by pressing a short kiss to his cheek. “Gunwook I believe you, I wont be able to forget about this but i’ll try my best. “ Rubbing the leftover tears away from your face. He stares down at you mouth agape before smiling and picking you up to place you on the bed. He lays you down on your back and holds himself above you on his forearms.

“I love you” Gunwook repeated looking into your eyes this time. “so fucking much that it scares me” He finished, eyes darting to look at your swollen plump lips.

You lean up a tiny bit to reach his lips and leave a lingering kiss before you both break out into smiles. He leans down to catch your lips, now moving them slowly against each other, tongue poking through your lips and leaving you breathless. You reach your hands to tangle in his hair as he grabs at your waist and thighs, wrapping them around him.

“I love you baby” you say between kisses making him smile against your lips.

“Say it again” gunwook says cheekily, lifting himself up to stare down at you.

“I said I love you gunwook” You roll your eyes as he flops down next to you and pulls your leg atop of him to cuddle to sleep, arms protectively wrapped around your back and thigh.

[ripleyfilms]

A FLOWER BORN IN HEAT.

pairing. rhea ripley x fem!reader

synopsis. rhea fucks you.

tags. this is literally just smut. dom!rhea. sub!reader. blurb vibes. wlw.

warnings. eighteen plus — sexual content, penetration (strap use), dirty talk, mommy kink.

“God, you’re such a good girl for me. Aren’t you, baby?” Rhea purred clearly content with the view. It was all she needed all fucking week. The sweet honey located between your thighs. She dreamed of it. Having to fuck herself with the vibrator you gifted her but, at the end of it, she was only whining for you. 

Now, she finally was where she was dying to be. Strong hands gripped your hips, nails digging into the delicate skin. “You’re being so loud tonight, babygirl. Did you miss Mami?” 

The only thing you could offer was soft yes, unable to utter anything else. Her pace was ruthless, fucking into you, the strap she wore filled you to the hilt. 

“This pussy is mine. Isn’t it, babygirl?” Rhea laughed cynically as you whined. 

Moving a free hand, she pressed on your lower back, face buried in the silk sheets as she fucked you within an inch of your life. 

“It’s all yours, forever baby.” You admitted freely, only stating what was true. There was no one else you’d ever want to be with again. You weren’t even sure if she could hear you, face flush against the pillow. 

She fucking loved it. Knowing you were hers, knowing you needed her — begging for her. The possessiveness in her took over, pulling you up as your back rested against her chest. Playing with your nipples as she fucked up into you. 

Rhea’s lips found purchase on your neck, nipping at your sweet spot as you rested your head against her shoulder. “Rhea, I’m so close. God.” 

“God can’t save you now, only Mami can.” She brought her thumb until it rested on your bottom lip and instructed you, “Suck, baby girl.” 

Willingly accepting the invitation, your tongue swirled around her thumb before letting off with a pop. She found purchase on your clit as her pace settled into a brutal pace. 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? Mami’s good, little slut. Taking my cock, splitting this sweet pussy, giving to you just like you like it.” You felt her breath kiss your neck as she whispered in your ear, bringing you closer to where you craved to be. 

“Mami knows just how to take care of you. Pretty baby like you just needs a strong Mami. Are you going to be a good girl and come for me?” Her pace was more than you could take, but she gave it to you anyway. 

Hard and fast, her thumb playing your clit like a fiddle — one she knew every tune to. She needs to feel your body convulse against her, the soft cries of Rhea she knew would slip out. Once she’d punish you for later. 

“Shit — yes Rhea — shit, shit, shit. Mami, I-I’m coming, fuuuck.” 

Her strong arms kept you up as your body threatened to fall over. The blinding pleasure shot up your spine and straight to your core as Rhea eased you through it. Filthy, pure hot shots of your cum soaked the dildo as she continued to fuck you through it. 

“Yeah, that’s it, baby girl. Give it all to me.” She wished she could feel the pulse of your pussy, how it clenched around the dildo. She knew it did. 

She slapped your ass, wanting to hear you whimper once more, and it was like you were on autopilot. 

“Rhea, please.” A small squeak you managed to release, until she was setting her pace again. As if she knew what your body craved, regardless of how spent you felt. 

“Let’s see how many times Mami can make you come tonight, baby girl.” She laughed before letting you go, and you were once again face first into the silk at your lover’s mercy.

[psychologicalwarclaire]

Rising and Falling

Or, a oneshot set shortly after Arin betrays the ninja. Corruption arc Arin aftermath.

---

The flight back was the longest night of Sora’s life. 

No one spoke. 

No one looked at Sora. 

No one looked at Lloyd. 

No one talked about Arin. 

Sora wanted to. She wanted to scream and shout. She wanted to grab Lloyd by the shoulders and ask why Arin had abandoned them like that. She wanted to flare her powers, take over the engine, and turn the Bounty around immediately. She wanted to demand that they all go back. But they had nothing to go back to. Raz had pulled his little making-everyone-on-his-side-disappear trick. And this time, Arin had gone with him. 

Willingly. 

Not as a hostage, not as any part of a plan. Willingly. 

Sora would never forget the look in Arin’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he’d said. “You don’t need me. I need to get stronger. I need to find my family.” His eyes had flicked to Lloyd and his face had twisted. “My real family.” 

Shaking her head, Sora scrubbed away the tears in her eyes. She didn’t want to relive that moment anymore. But she had a sneaking feeling that it simply lived in her head now. Forever. 

The Bounty touched down at the Monastery. Every light was off. The only glow came from the red moon and a sliver of the white one. The faintest line of dawn pulsed along the horizon, dimming the stars. Sora turned to Lloyd, but he was gone. 

Nya put her hand on Sora’s shoulder. “Get some sleep.” It was the first thing anyone had said to her in hours. Nya’s own voice was husky. “It’s been a long night.” 

Sora stopped just outside of the Monastery gates. She couldn’t go in. She couldn’t go in. Without Arin it was empty. It was cold. It was nothing. 

There would be no scent of a freshly baked pie. There would be no giggles and cute little leg kicks as he read scrolls about his beloved ninjas’ adventures. There would be no laughter ever again, as far as Sora was concerned. 

“Nya. Where did Lloyd go.” 

Nya hesitated, clearly unsure if she should tell Sora. 

“Nya. Please.” 

“Check the far side of the Monastery. Outside of the wall. Be careful of the cliff.” She made to walk away, then stopped. “Make sure you eat breakfast. I know you probably don’t want to, but you should eat something.” 

Sora didn’t respond. She just started off around the outer edge of the Monastery wall. 

By the time she found him, it had lightened just enough for her to see her teacher’s silhouette against the dim sky.

Plopping down next to him, she noticed that he flinched away slightly. 

More silence. 

Chilly breezes ruffled Sora and Lloyd’s hair. 

“I’m sorry,” Lloyd finally said at last.

Sora didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself to speak. 

“I thought… I thought I could be your teacher. I thought that I could be like Wu. But I’m not.” Lloyd pulled his knees up to his chest. The motion was so innocently childish that Sora was momentarily taken aback. 

“I’ve failed you. I’ve failed Arin. I’ve failed Riyu. I’ve failed Wu. I’ve failed myself!” Pale purple sky reflected in his eyes as they slowly filled with tears. “I shouldn’t have tried to teach. I should have seen what kind of pressure Arin was under. I should have been a better teacher. I’m not Wu. I wanted to be, I just…” Lloyd buried his face in his knees. “I’m sorry. I understand if you want to leave.” 

Her mouth fell open in indignation. “L-leave?” 

“Why would you want to be taught by me anymore? You have no reason to stay now. I’m the worst teacher possible. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stay with someone as awful at this as I am.”

Gears turned in Sora’s brain. Her grief, her shock, her denial over Arin’s choice shifted. As the sun rose closer to the horizon, so did a new feeling in Sora’s gut. 

“So that’s it?” she snapped, her voice harsh. “We’re just giving up?” 

“You saw how he looked at me.” 

“SO WHAT?!” 

The sky lightened another shade, now tinging the clouds with hints of pink as Sora’s anger rose to the surface. 

“COULD YOU BE MORE SELFISH?!” 

Lloyd’s head snapped up. “Excuse me?” 

“‘Aw, poor me, poor me. I’m not as good as Master Wu. I lost my student because I wasn’t paying attention. Waaa, waaa, waaa.’ Okay, and?!” 

“Sora, you don’t understand. Master Wu–” 

“Oh enough about Master Wu already! I honestly don’t think he was anywhere near as perfect as you and Arin seem to think. I’ve read the scrolls, Lloyd. It sounds like he wasn’t this amazing mythical figure you see him as. It sounds like he didn’t tell you guys enough. It sounds like he didn’t always prepare you for this stuff. Heck, he didn’t even know the Merge was gonna happen until it was too late! This Wu guy clearly wasn’t perfect despite having years of experience on you.”

“Hey, don’t disrespect my uncle!”  

“You’re telling me that Wu was the perfect teacher to every single student he ever came in contact with? You’re telling me he never messed up, pushed too hard, or got too distracted?” 

“No, never– well.” 

Lloyd dropped his legs back into a meditation position. “There was Morro. His first student. Master Wu messed up with him big time.”

“See? Wu’s first student gave him issues too. It shouldn't be this big a deal–” 

“Sora, he accidentally drove Morro away. He died. He came back as a ghost. Possessed me. Tried to curse the world. Uprooted destiny. Trapped my father in the Cursed Realm.” His green eyes finally turned to her. The sky made them look… red. 

Sora had nothing to say.

Pink on the clouds darkened to scarlet streaks. Blood smeared across the sky. 

“So. So Master Wu wasn’t perfect.” 

“Well it’s clear that we’ve both messed up big time. You’re angry, Sora. I understand. But I just don't see how I can continue to teach–” 

“No!” 

The anger was back, twice as crimson as the sky. 

“I’m not gonna leave the Monastery! I have nowhere else to go! Arin is my family. And Arin is my home. I’m not staying here without him and I’m not leaving without him. I’m not doing anything without him!” 

“What if he doesn’t want to be saved? What if Raz corrupted him, or brainwashed him, or something that we can’t undo? We don’t know where they went or why exactly Arin felt the need to– Sora we just… can’t.” 

Shooting to her feet in time with the first golden sunbeams, Sora glared down at her teacher. 

“Stop thinking about yourself! Stop thinking about your failure! This is all of our fault. If I hadn’t made him think he did object-Spinjitzu that one time, or if I’d told him about it, or if I’d-I’d, I don’t know, talked to you about this first then maybe we wouldn’t be here.” 

Lloyd opened his mouth. 

“But we are here! And Arin is gone.” 

And it hit her. 

Sora sank to her knees. 

“Arin is gone, Lloyd. He left us. He left me.” 

She stared at the grass, ashen as its green mixed with glow of the stained sunrise. 

“I want him back.” She raised her head to give a hard, cold look to her teacher. Lloyd’s expression was unreadable. “I want him back.” Sora repeated. 

She stood up again, more slowly this time. Just as she did, the sun broke over the horizon, bathing her face in vermillion. 

“Ninja never quit.” 

Lloyd just stared for a moment. “I think that’s the first time you’ve said that.” 

“Yeah, well. Quitting isn’t an option. And if Arin’s not going to be a ninja then I’d better be a ninja for both of us.” 

Slowly, Lloyd got to his feet. “I don’t want to mess up again, Sora. I don’t want to lose you too. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t…” he sighed. “I don’t know how we’re going to do this.”

“Well I’m doing it. I don’t know how exactly, but I’m gonna do it. You are welcome to join me, Lloyd.” 

Maybe it was the rising sun, but Lloyd's smile was warmer than she’d ever seen it. He held out his arms for a hug and Sora fell into it. She felt so small. 

“I can’t promise that I’ll be a perfect teacher. I can’t promise that I will be like Wu, or that I won’t be like Wu.” He squeezed tighter. “But I can promise that I’m going to try my hardest to make this little family of ours whole again.” 

Arin’s words seemed to echo in the air. 

My real family. 

“Okay,” Sora whispered, wiping her eyes. 

By the time they broke apart, the sun had risen fully. Messy red had given way to a pale, peaceful blue. 

“Let’s go get our boy,” Lloyd said. “No more moping. No more feeling sorry for myself.” 

“No more comparison to Wu?” 

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all Arin and I ever wanted of you.” 

Under the rays of a warm sun, teacher and student walked into the Monastery together, ready to piece themselves back together. 

[salty-scars01]

Lap Pillow • Kaiju no 8 Boys

These are just some headcanons for how I think the boys would react to using your lap as a pillow.

I've noticed a distinct lack of fluffy stuffs of the Kn8 characters so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

Context: The boys have had a rough day at work one way or another, and when they get back home/to the dorms, they just want to relax. Little do they know that you were there waiting for them.

※ Kafka Hibino

Kafka would be pleased to find you waiting on him after he gets back from his sparring sessions with Hoshina.

He'd settle in just like any other day, but when he gets around to the bed that you're sitting on the edge of, his first thought would be to put his head right there on your lap.

If you have plush thighs, he might honestly just plop himself down on you, but he'd never be so rough that he'd hurt you.

If you have smaller thighs, he'd be very careful that he doesn't hurt you.

Either way, this man would NEVER harm you.

He'd absolutely love it if you were to play with his hair or lean down to kiss his face.

He'd give his signature goofy smile and might even fall asleep there if it's late enough.

※ Reno Ichikawa

Ichikawa said himself that being an introvert doesn't mean that you're shy, but he would not willingly put his head on your thighs of his own volition the first time.

Out of respect for you though

He would return looking tired after his long day, and you offered to let him lay in your lap.

At first, he was a little reluctant, but only because he didn't want to overstep any boundaries

Once he was settled in though, he just melted into your warmth and was instantly relaxed

From then on out, if he had a rough day, he'd seek you out and he made sure to always ask first if he could rest with you.

※ Iharu Furuhashi

You can't tell me he's not a puppy lover, I won't believe you.

Ever.

He would come home to find you waiting for him and any signs of tiredness would be instantly replaced by a wave of joy upon seeing you there.

He'd pretty much toss his belongings to the side and sit with you as soon as physically possible.

He'd tell you about his day and how exhausted he was after his training, and that's when you offered to let him lay on you.

You didn't have to tell him twice.

He positioned himself promptly and rested his head on your legs and looked up at you with a beaming smile on his face.

If you scratch his head while he's lying on you like that, you might get to see his eyes roll back into his head in satisfaction.

Also please hold his hand and give him face kisses while he's lying like that to ensure maximum happiness from your dog- I mean, boyfriend

※ Aoi Kaguragi

This big boy would come back, and you'd never know by his face that he'd had it rough that day.

Your only signs would be his mannerisms and the way he carried himself.

He'd be oddly sluggish and perhaps a bit clumsy as he moved about.

Only when he came to sit with you did he lie down and just perch himself upon your lap with closed eyes and a sigh through his nose.

Please pet his hair like this to get him to look up at you, I promise it's worth it.

He might even roll over to face your stomach and hide his face in your clothes.

It's not your lap he's after; it's you <3

※ Haruichi Izumo

He sighs a lot when he's stressed or tired. He just does

So when he returns and is clearly exhausted, one of the first things he does is turn you and smile with a soft sigh.

He'd ask first if he could lay on you and once you say yes, he's out.

He loves to look up at you while feeling the warmth of your legs.

He'd tell you about his day while he continues to sigh through his stories

But once your hands find their way to his hair, he quiets down and just closes his eyes.

Whenever you decide to stop playing with his hair, he just looks up at you and won't say anything until you resume your ministrations.

You might be stuck there for a while not that you're complaining

He'd also absolutely fall asleep.

※ Soshiro Hoshina

You had to seek him out in his office or private room later. Whether you were waiting for him, or he was already there is up to you

Whenever you see him, he starts with a sigh before going off on a short rant.

He would eventually just collapse into your lap and continue his spewing.

You could pet his hair, kiss him, any form of touch would make him stop his rant.

Once he's calmed down though, he'd start to doze off.