#im also very picky about how narration is done and what stories are about and how theyre written so i can never find anything i likešŸ˜… Tumblr posts
autisticlee Ā· 1 year ago
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it's annoying when people think i'm stupid, boring, lazy, etc when I tell them I don't read. some people get so elitist about it and think they're above me and better than me because they can read 5 books in a week. "how can you not like to read! it's the best thing ever! *goes into an angry rant about why it's so good and I'm stupid for not doing it"
not everyone has the ability to enjoy reading, Karen. some of us are dyslexic and have adhd so it's nearly impossible for our brains to focus or retain any words we read and it's more effort than it's worth!!!!! some of us would read if we could do it as easily as you šŸ˜’
#it takes me 5 minutes to read a single page of a book when it takes orhers leas than a minute. then i have to read it at least 5 more times#before i even comprehend what i read or retain any of it#i'll finish reading a few pages and then realize i have no idea what even happened and have to reread them#then i get to where i stopped and realize i still have no idea what happened#on top of that i learned that most people can read a thing and see it in their heads like theyre watching a movie#so that's why most people prefer books over movies and enjoy getting lost in books. they enjoy creating their own movies essentially#i cant do that šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ i just see words on a page and that's boring. it's hard to follow along because i have to remember all the words#or i get lost and confused. but i can't retain it all. if i could make movies in my head i'd enjoy it more#i orefer watching things or if i do read then ill read a comic so i can see it.#ive tried listening to audio books and its better than reading it myself but i still struggle to follow along because i cant see it#im also very picky about how narration is done and what stories are about and how theyre written so i can never find anything i likešŸ˜…#i find it super weird that i cant really see thing in my head but i have the craziest ans most vivid dreams?????#i imagine that's what seeing things in your mind looks like. i wish i could essentially have controlled dreams while awake lmao#WAIT MAYBE THAT'S WHY I WAS THE ONLY KID AMAZED BY DREAMS I HAD AND NO ONE ELSE CARED#they can see things like that whenever they want and i only do it while dreaming šŸ˜­#as an artist and someone who likes to write but feels im not creative enough to do anything....#if i could willingly see anything i want in my head as clearly as my vivid dreams id be unstoppable!!!!!#my dreams seem so creative and interesting. imagine if i could do that while awake. ugh why cant i šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#people really take this ability to see things in their heads for granted lmao#lee rambles#adhd#dyslexia#books#reading
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punkascas Ā· 7 years ago
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Fic Author Interview
tagged by: the wonderfully talented and incredibly sweet @amirosebooksĀ  ā¤
tagging:Ā @iggyw @tenoko1 @casolantern @schmerzerling @amazinmango @serricoj @rainbofiction @coffeeandcas @topaz-eyes @angelofthemoor @culumacilinte @coplins
im going to do this from the slightly broader perspective of creative writing in general (since i write fic but i also write scripts and things for my job). also this is v long. sorry.
What inspires your work most? (The show it is based on, the actor who portrays a certain character, maybe the character itselfā€¦? It could even be an experience.) so generally my inspiration is (in order): (a) my own life experiences, (b) some kind of commentary i want to make about the source material or about fiction or fandom in general, and (c) the characters themselves and the aspects i love in them, especially trying to find ways to play with the duality of their personalities, the good aspects and the negative ones.Ā  iā€™ve known for a long time that what drives me to create is that i want to make other people feel less alone. you know those times to read something or thereā€™s a line someone says, and youā€™re like, yes, yes, thatā€™s me; no oneā€™s ever gotten that before or at least never put it so perfectly into words, whatever that experience/feeling might be. i want to give people that moment with anything i create. thereā€™s also a lot of things that iā€™ve experienced in my life that come up relatively often in fiction, or at least in fic, and a lot of it usually is off-putting to me. it never resonates. itā€™s melodramatic or simply inaccurate, and i think is often written by someone who doesnā€™t have the lived experience to pull from. so i always want to add my voice to the pile and benefit from my own experiences to make those kinds of tropes and situations more realistic and relatable -- to me, but hopefully also to others.Ā  like generally every character backstory or character arc i write in fic is something pulled from my own life. like itā€™s probably twisted or adapted somewhat, because iā€™m not into being autobiographical. but as an example, in faith healer, this bit: Memory degrades with time. Maybe as a child he knew that somehow. He knew that there would be a second, slower death across time, as she became more of idea than person, and so he clung onto specific moments as a talisman for Mom: I had a mom once; this was my mommy. He remembers her hands best. The way her skin was thin and dry, but her fingers strong, and the way they'd close around his hands. The way she would press in love and good luck and humility when he misbehaved with a squeeze to his chubby, too small hands. Second best he remembers her laugh, the way her mouth moved around a smile, the warmth in it, tinged with embarrassment whenever someone startled it out from her. The rest of the memories are vague, more like facts he can read out of a mental police blotter than lived experience. She used to wear some kind of fleece robe in the winter, thick and pilled, creating a soft cushion between her breasts for his head to rest when he sat in her lap for a story. He thinks the robe was red. She used to bake things from scratch and used to let him pretend to help. On Sundays she did laundry, down in the basement. He followed her once, asking when Dad would come back, and she paused on the landing, basket of clothes cocked on her hip, and wouldn't go any further until he went back upstairs. The basement, she said, was too dangerous for him, dark and damp. She wanted him to be safe. She always cut the crust off his sandwiches. that is my experience of my grandmotherā€™s death. when she died i knew i would forget over time the specific details of her, so i picked a couple to remind myself of daily so iā€™d never forget them. and that was her hands and her laugh. and i do have that memory of her doing the laundry and standing on the landing to the basement asking her where my dad was and when heā€™d be back (he was on an 18 month voyage to africa - my dad is a sailor). and she did always cut the crusts off my sandwiches for me.Ā  (and btw i canā€™t ever re-read that passage with crying.)
What is your favorite fandom to write for? i mean, usually whatever my main fandom is at the time? which right now is spn. i did also enjoy writing potc fic and RDJ films sherlock holmes. i like writing characters who have a very strong but also very biased or unusual perspective on the world. they make for good unreliable narrators, which is something i love doing.
Which perspective do you prefer writing in? (First-person, third-person) always, always, always third-person limited is my go-to. i only write in first-person if the original source material is written that way (like ACD Sherlock Holmes) and i want to do a pastiche of that style.Ā 
Do you prefer writing reader fics or OCs? no. full stop. (okay, one caveat: i doĀ like kidfic, but i am also SUPER PICKY about reading it bc im always looking for some accurate representations of parenthood and what itā€™s like to have a child. like kids are hard??? theyā€™re hard and they make you worry and they drive you crazy and they have their own, weird, stubborn, fascinating views on life and the world. theyā€™re not perfect angel children who exist only to be cute or ridiculously amazing mary sue geniuses. so yeah a well done kidfic where the kid is an OC i will read.)
Do you prefer writing longer works or one shots? given that every single WIP i have right now are fucking, horrible, lengthy novels,i want to say i prefer writing one-shots. i want TO BE ABLE to write one-shots. i used to do???? but yeah, i guess i really do enjoy plotting and world-building, which lends itself to creating monster plot bunnies instead of short stories or quick scenes.Ā 
Do you take requests? i do! do i ever actually get around to writingĀ those requests is another question. but absolutely. send me prompts. ask for timestamps. if it speaks to me, and especially if itā€™s something i think i can write in less than 1000 words, iā€™ll most likely give it a go.Ā 
Do you enjoy getting random Asks? yes! always! i try to respond at least with in 72 hours. but yes please COME TALK TO ME ANYTIME.
What inspires the names for OCs (or extra character names) in your works? Do you pick them from real life or just select them at random? A mix? so with fic, i never really write OCs, or if i do, theyā€™re p much a red shirt or like extra #243 or smth and therefore donā€™t have names. if a character has spoken dialogue or no on-screen dialogue but some impact on the plot, iā€™ll try to ā€œcastā€ that part with a character from the source material. for example, in the family business (which i realise isnā€™t posted yet), thereā€™s some issues with a rival gang that need resolving. i cast the head of the rival gang as a well-known character from spn that has generally served a rival or an enemy to the boys on the show. i like doing that bc i like the parallels it draws, especially when working with an AU, and the ability to explore characters and dynamics from a slightly (or not slightly at all but in fact completely divergent) angle. i follow the philosophy that part of the real cathartic nature of AUs and part of why we write them is the ability to offer commentary on the source material. that a good AU should offer commentary on the source material. they're both metatexts and paratexts simultaneously. the one caveat to this, again, is kidfic, because i like and i do write it (iā€™ve just never finished any of those fics enough to publish them). and then i try to name kids in the way i think their parents would name them. i try to put myself in the characterā€™s headspace and try to figure out what name(s) would appeal to them. and if we talk about work, and the scripts i write, i mean all of that is basically OCs. so far every script iā€™ve written while employed by my current firm, i always stick in at least one instance of one of my dogsā€™ names. i also will make subtle film or tv references. like the script i just wrote, there were three characters, and the first character had already been named harold by our content lead. so i named the other two perry and harmony as a reference to kiss kiss bang bang. iā€™ve done all the clones from orphan black as OC names. iā€™ve done members of radiohead.Ā  if one of the scripts im writing already has a theme built into it for a specific pop culture reference (like yesterday one of the scripts i wrote was using yoda speech and star wars analogies as part of its marketing and engagement strategies) so iā€™ll name characters in line with that pop culture motif (so the star wars themed script has luke and ben and daisy and carrie as characters).Ā 
If your story(ies) have OCs, are their appearances based on real people or celebrities? If so, who? as mentioned above, i rarely include OCs and if i do, theyā€™re unimportant stand-ins. so i never give much thought to how they look. offspring in kidfic i do think about how they look. if the actors who play the main characters have children, iā€™ll start there. like for dean and cas, i always look at jj and west and maison and try to figure out what a kid with some of those combined physical features might look like. iā€™ll also look at photos of the actors from when they were kids or teenagers and try to decide if these two people had a kid, what features would that kid inherit.Ā  for work, casting people depends on client expectations and design direction and budget, so itā€™s a different ballgame.Ā 
How long have you been writing fanfiction? i think the first fic i published was in 2002 or 2003. so 15 years i guess??? how has it been 15 years dude.Ā 
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