pit-and-the-pen

[pit-and-the-pen]

Black Dahlia - 75. Familiar Eyes

Summary: Dahlia's last conscription day is here, and with it brings some familiar eyes, but not the people she knows them for.

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My last conscription day. Feels weird that this is my last year here. But now, I’m glad it is. So much has happened here in the last two years, and I honestly can’t wait to be rid of this place. A fresh start in a way. Hopefully this year goes quick.

“Ugh, why did we get stuck with taking down names, it’s so boring. Couldn’t you have gotten us a more exciting job?” Ellie asks from where she leans against the end of the parapet.

“Our options were name taking down the bottom in the chaos of all the quadrants, take names at the start of the parapet or this.” I tell her. “Unless you really want to be making sure the first year dorms are ready.”

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “I guess you’re right. But all we’re doing is standing here. We could be down there eyeing off the other Quadrants.”

It’s my turn to roll my eyes at her. “You just want to see if anyone catches your eye.”

“Hey, a girl is aloud options. You can’t deny it starts to feel a little familiar here after a while.”

I do my best not to react to her words. Because I wouldn’t know. The only person I ever got intimate with was him. Not like I had any options prior to that anyway. Well I did, but I honestly didn’t want to think about that boyfriend.

“I wouldn’t know.” I say as I turn my attention to the other side of the parapet to see if any riders have started to cross.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Ellie open her mouth to say something, but rushed footsteps catch her attention. As I turn to see who’s approaching I note a pink tinge to Ellie’s cheek. I’d only known the girl a few days but I knew nothing really phased her. I’d seen a few of the male riders flirt with her and she didn’t even bat an eye. I turn the full way round to see the cause of her blushing cheeks, is Bodhi.

“See you got stuck here again this year.” Bodhi teases as he joins us.

Yet again Bodhi had lucked out on not really having a job today other than making sure his squad leaders were doing their assigned jobs. Which was surprising seeing as Dain is his Wingleader.

“It’s not that bad of a job.” I tell him with a pointed stare.

He laughs and shakes his head. “I could think of way better things to be doing than standing here for hours on end taking names.”

“That’s what I said.” Ellie adds, agreeing with Bodhi.

Her addition to our conversation has Bodhi turning to look at her, and a smirk that reminds me so much of Xaden pulls at the corners of his mouth as he takes her in, causing her cheeks to flush more. I can tell he notices as his posture shifts slightly, as if fuelled by the reaction he’s getting from her. He won’t admit it, but I know he feels over looked with being Xaden's cousin. I’ve seen girls try to talk to him in hopes of getting closer to Xaden. Which Bodhi sees right through every time.

“I’d prefer this than taking the hundreds of names down there. Way less writing. But apparently someone would rather-“ I start before Ellie rushes to cut me off.

“Why would anyone want to be down there? I agree, way too many names to write down.” She says quickly with a pointed stare at me.

I raise an eyebrow at her, silently calling her out. But I sigh and decide to play along. I was definitely asking her about this once Bodhi was gone.

“Yeah way too much work writing all those names down.” He says to Ellie with a smile before turning back to me. “Would still rather something else though.”

“We can swap if you want.” I say to him as I hold out the roll to him.

“Sadly I’ll have to pass on your tempting offer. Have fun ladies.” He says before walking off back into the courtyard.

When he’s far enough away I turn back to Ellie whose still watching his back disappear into the cadets who don’t have a job to do today and have chosen to watch the new cadets cross the parapet.

“So, you want to explain what that was about after complaining you didn’t get to see the potential options down there?” I ask with a raised brow.

Her head snaps to mine as if worried Bodhi can still hear us. “Nothing. Just doesn’t look good on other options if I vocalise that.” She says with a shrug.

“Right. So you being as red as a tomato has nothing to do with anything else to do with Bodhi?” I push.

Her shoulders sag as she sighs, clearly knowing I won’t stop. “Fine. But if you tell him anything I’ll murder you in your sleep.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

She narrows her eyes at me before checking no one else is within earshot. “I may have had a crush on him since our first year.” She admits in a hushed voice. “But I don’t think he’s noticed me since the first time and really only time we’ve talked.”

I rack my brain for anything I’d seen Bodhi and her interact. Bodhi had been practically glued to my side since being placed in the same squad on our first day. And besides seeing Ellie around, I’d never actually talked to her till Quinn introduced me to her.

“I don’t mean to seem rude, but he’s been practically glued to my side since day one, and I haven’t talked to you till a few days ago.” I tell her.

“It was before we crossed the parapet. I was in front of him, and freaking out way more than I thought I would be. He didn’t say much to me, just that I could do this and he believed in me.” She tells me as her cheeks flush again before she turns her head to look over at the parapet which has its first cadet heading towards us. “Since then I’ve had a crush on him. It’s silly, but those words really helped me, calmed me down so I wasn’t shaking like a leaf. And now I turn into a flustered mess whenever he’s nearby even though I barely know him.”

I can’t help but smile slightly at her words. It was very on brand for Bodhi to do something like that, especially when he can tell someone needs it. He was always so good at reading people and knowing exactly what they needed. Even that day he’d seen me and knew I needed a friend. And even though I hadn’t been the most receptive at first, he kept pushing. And now he was my best friend.

“Well maybe this is Zinhal’s way of changing that.” I tell her as I get ready to take down names.

She smiles at me and nods. “I hope so. Cause gods are the men in this place hopeless.”

The next few hours go by quickly which is nice, Ellie and I taking turns in writing down the names of those who make it across the Parapet and into the Quadrant. Even though death is common around here I do my best to keep my eyes averted from the actual Parapet. I’d witnessed enough death in the last week to last me a while. A tall figure hoping off the Parapet has me snapping from my thoughts. I open my mouth to ask for their name when I’m met with very familiar green eyes. But not the ones I’m most familiar with. No, his are far warmer than the ones I’m use to. He stares down at me, as if shocked to see me. Though it had never been a secret where I wanted to go when my time came to choose.

”Name?” I ask him, knowing that he’s probably given a fake name to have made it this far without being dragged away.

”Aaric Graycastle.” He tells me with a firm nod.

I look down, writing the name he’s given me. “Noted. Welcome to the Quadrant Aaric.” I say, looking back up him. Gods, why did they have to look so similar.

With the next cadet coming up behind him Aaric gives me a tight lipped smile before ducking his head and walking into the sea of cadets in the courtyard. What the hell was he doing here? Clearly not here with his father’s knowledge. If it was he’d be over with Infantry. Not here. Gods, this was going to make this year interesting if anyone recognised him. And it would be a miracle if no one did. Not many people had those green eyes. I have no doubt that Violet and Dain who are both on the other end recognised him if I did. But clearly neither of them stopped him crossing over.

”You going to ask for my name?” A girl snaps at me as she takes Aaric’s place.

I look over to see girl I almost do a double take at. There’s no denying who she is either. She has the same eyes as her brother. Same blonde hair to. But she definitely didn’t get the same friendly demeanour as her brother thats for sure.

”Name then?” I ask a bit more sarcastically than I intend to.

”Sloane Mairi. With an ‘e’ on the end.” She throws back at me with more sass than before if possible.

Before she storms off I watch as her eyes dip to the name tag on my uniform jacket, eyes narrowing with hatred before averting her eyes and walking off.

”Well she seems lovely.” Ellie adds as she watches her leave.

”She’s probably grieving. Her brother was one of the riders who died in War Games.” I tell her as I watch her blonde hair disappear into the crowd.

”Oh shit, I thought her name sounded familiar. Poor thing. I guess her sass is warranted then.”

Definitely warranted. And something tells me this wouldn’t be the last time I’d be on the receiving end.

Being up on the dais as they assign squads is weird. The only time I’d ever stood up here for formation was on graduation day when we were fighting for our lives. And the Quadrant wasn’t anywhere near this full for it. But up here on conscription day, it really puts in perspective how big our Quadrant actually is before everyone starts fighting for their lives the rest of the year. Once the last name is called Panchek steps forward and delivers the same speech he has the last two years, and like last year I tune it out. Especially when he introduces Major Varrish.

There was something about his name that seemed familiar to me still. I really needed to look into why that was. But the feeling still wasn’t good, meaning his name had a reputation I probably wouldn’t like once I remembered what it was. There was also the fact he was friends with the Colonel, and that alone set off alarm bells.

I do my best not to roll my eyes as Dain takes the stage once Aura delivers her speech. He’s doing his best to fill the shoes of Xaden, but he doesn’t have anywhere near the aura Xaden does. No one fears Dain. His voice lacking the commanding authority that comes naturally to Xaden. But I will admit he does his best. I avert my gaze at the sound of wingbeats and gasps echo around the courtyard. Behind us our dragons land behind their corresponding wingleader, along with an Orange Daggertail I don’t recognise. But with the urgency to run filling my veins, I can hazard a guess as to who it belongs to.

”Let me guess, Varrish’s dragon?” I ask Proth as I turn my attention back to the crowd, watching as all the first years look torn between running, staying or vomiting their guts up. Especially the ones focused on Proth. He’s easily the biggest one on the wall, but he’s not the biggest here. Wait till they see Tairn.

”Yes. That’s Solas.” Proth informs me. “Whatever you do, avoid him at all costs. He’s unstable and unpredictable.”

”What has he done?” I ask.

”Just trust me. There’s a reason he has those scars.”

I have no doubt if I turned around I’d find Proth eyeing off Solas. But I don’t want to draw attention to myself by doing so. Instead I keep my eyes focused on the crowd where a few cadets have indeed chosen to vomit. Lovely.

”A third of you will be dead next July. If you want to wear rider black, then you earn it! You earn it every single day!” Dain yells as his voice carries over the courtyard.

Cath digs his claws into the stone walls behind us as he leans forward, blowing hot air across the crowd. Immediately we get our first runner. Sprinting towards the parapet, racing through the aisles and other cadets in an effort to get away. Soon another two follow from my Wing. Great, I was already going to be two down before they’d even had their first day. I watch as they all nearly collide at the back of formation as they try and get away.

They get closer and closer to the parapet, closer than a dragon has let a runner get before. Something is wrong. I go to turn to see what the dragons are playing at when Violet’s voice carries across the courtyard.

”Get down!”

The entirety of her squad drops to the ground, and some of the others near by do the same. But not all of them. Hot flames fly over head, and I watch as nearly all of Third Squad behind Violet burns. They don’t even get a chance to scream as they’re consumed by dragon fire. I turn and see the source of the dragon fire is Solas. Dragon’s know how to aim their fire. They know how to aim it very easily. That was intentional.

”Get back into formation!” Panchek’s voice amplifies over the mayhem that has started below. “Riders do not balk at fire!”

I keep my eyes focused on Second Squad, noting how Imogen still stands at the back staring at the pile of ash that is half of Third Squad. Slowly she turns looking at Violet and then at me, and from here I can tell theres something wrong. I scan what remains of Third Squad, not that I know them well. But there is one person I know. Someone who was at Resson.

Ciaran. Ciaran is fucking dead.

There’s no fucking way. That has to be a fluke... right? Surely they aren't targeting us. But if Violeta and Imogen hadn't ducked....

Varrish moves forward, taking Panchek’s place as he looks over the remaining cadets. He doesn’t seem to care his dragon nearly took out an entire squad.

“It is not only the first-years who earn their leathers at Basgiath! The wings are only as strong as their weakest rider!” He shouts, and I swear there’s a hidden meaning to his words.

Another cadet makes a run for it, and I watch as Solas’s shadow leans forward again, ignoring the snap from Cath. But Solas snaps his mouth shut as a wingbeats fill the air again as Tairn lands on the outer wall behind the formation sending more first years running as he flairs his wings, focusing his eyes on Solas. Tairn lets out an earth shattering roar, causing us all to cover our ears with our hands. It’s clear Tairn is ready to take Solas out if need be. And as if the other dragons sense it, they all shift away from Solas, Proth included.

”Didn’t pick you for the type to retreat.”

”I do when I value my life little flower.”

It feels as if the Quadrant holds a collective breath as Tairn and Solas stare each other down. But after a few moments Solas launches off the wall, wings beating quickly as he retreats. I expect Tairn to leave now Solas is gone, but he turns his attention to Varrish staring him down before also departing. I don’t have to be down there to know where Varrish’s attention is. I know it’s on Violet. And I can feel the hatred in his stare from here. Great.

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[pit-and-the-pen]

My Sisters Keeper- PT III

Summary: Rose has protected Violet for as long as they've been alive. As they both navigate through Threshing, new relationships are starting to make themselves known.

Content warning:Cursing, canon level fighting, blood and illusions to smut

WC: 5.5k

A/N: I didn't want to leave yall hanging right before threshing. Also, this will finally stop being one-for-one with the books after this chapter!

Garrick is shouting at us to line up. How people can even think this close to dragons, I have no clue. I recite what I think are the right rules in my head like a mantra. Sounding more like Violet than I would like to admit. 

“Into formation” He says, all business as usual. It’s no surprise that he’s a section leader, anyone in their right mind would be terrified of the neat row of patches on his jacket. 

Rhi, Violet and I somehow end up near the back of the line. 

“I would space out more.” He starts, 

“In case one of us gets torched.” Ridoc says. Garrick just levels him a glare.

“Correct. No need for more than one of you to get taken out if you piss off a dragon. Also, remember you’re not to approach any of them.” 

A fierce looking girl takes over for Garrick and she sizes up all of us. Almost like she’s assessing who she thinks will die first. 

“Talk.” She says. Ridoc doesn’t miss a beat to joke at her. She rolls her eyes. 

“To each other.” She emphasises the words like Ridoc won’t understand her otherwise. “It will give the dragons a better way to judge your character. The way you interact with each other.”

That’s all she says before she steps to the side, allowing us to start down the path in front of us. We’re moving slower now than we were on our way here. 

I swear someone here must be amplifying the sound. Once silent footfalls now sound like a herd of baby deer. Stomping around loudly and clumsily as we try to give each other space. Even my breathing sounds too loud. Tynan is the first to break the silence. 

“I can’t see their tails, how am I supposed to know what breed they are?” 

I instantly want to smack him upside the head. What an idiot. 

“We aren’t supposed to.” Violet reminds him and he spits on the ground ahead of him. 

“I need to know which one I’m approaching at Threshing. No point in wasting my time.” Again. Idiot. 

Rhiannon makes a comment that I can’t fully make out but makes Violet laugh. 

But the laugh quickly cuts off as she notices the dragons across the path from us, just a few steps between them and us. 

Violet must notice the panic in her voice and quickly distracts her. 

“Are you having a niece or a nephew?” 

Her question makes Rhiannon pause. She looks confused. 

“Some healers can make pretty good guesses.” she shrugs as Rhi tells her she doesn’t know. 

“Guess I’ll find out once I’m allowed to write.”

“That’s such a stupid rule.” I chime in. 

“I think it’s meant to encourage loyalty.” Rhiannon answers. 

Violet laughs. “I’d be just as loyal if  I could send a letter to my sister.” I shoot her a look from over my shoulder. “Obviously the other one.” She says with a large eyeroll. 

Tynan just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. “I would be loyal to her regardless. I heard she’s one hell of a rider. And that ass. I saw her at parapet. I swear, are sure you’re actually related?” I bare my teeth at him and he laughs. “I’m just wondering how she looks like that when you seem to have gotten the left overs.” I’m about to say something when he cuts me off, eyes slowly roaming my body. “Well at least one of you.” 

I fight the urge to actually gag as he smirks at me. 

“In your dreams,asshat.” I shoot at him as Violet flips him off. 

“I do like them feisty.” He answers and I’m about to knock his teeth in when Rhiannon cuts in, rescuing the both of us. 

“I think i’d want a nephew, if I’m being choosy. Boys aren’t too bad.”

“Wait until they’re teenagers.” I snort. “Dain and I were practically joined at the hip until he decided to grow a foot over a two week span.” 

“What happened then?” She elbows me lightly and I scoff. 

“Nothing.” And even I don’t believe my words. 

I keep my eyes ahead of me as Violet starts. 

“Our brother was amazing. And I think it's safe to say, Dain followed the rules more than most little kids would have.” She sighs. I nod. 

“There isn’t a rule he’s read that he doesn’t follow. And gods forbid if something doesn’t fit perfectly into his plans.” I cut in. 

“He’s probably going to kill me personally for Gauntlet. 

“Probably.” I echo Violet's words, she frowns at me and I shrug. Rhiannon starts whispering to her and I give them as much privacy as I can. Instead focusing on the dragons around us. I try my hardest to avoid eye contact but how am I supposed to know where their eyes will be looking without looking myself? 

Once again going through the guidelines in my head. I quickly avoid eye contact with a particularly large red. I make a point of focusing on the ground in front of me and I swear I hear a content rumble come from the dragon. 

I keep looking around, noticing we’re almost to the end. I let out a small breath in relief. Even after growing up around dragons, it still is unnerving to be around this many unbonded. I almost slam into the person in front of me as we all pause. I take a glance around them to see why we stopped. In the middle of the path is a golden dragon. My mouth opens slightly at the unexpected sight. Feathertail. They’re significantly smaller than the other dragons around them. 

“Who would ever want to bond that thing.” He spits out and then laughs like he’s said the funniest thing ever. Violet rips back a response. 

“It’s fucking yellow. So not only is it small, it would stick out like a sore thumb on a battlefield. Tynan’s got a point.” Luca says it's the most obvious thing in the world. 

A pang of sadness goes through me at their words. Even Sawyer starts in on the small dragon.

“Maybe you’ll bond after all. A weak dragon for a weak rider.” I see Violet’s cheeks heat up, anger flashing over her face. He did not just call her weak. In front of all these dragons. 

Sawyer grabs him by the shoulders before either of us can even respond. 

“Dont.you.fucking.dare.” He grits out, more angry than I have ever seen him before. 

“He’s just saying what we’re all thinking.” Luca just can’t leave well enough alone. I stare a hole in the back of her head. Crossing my arms over my chest, fingers itching to grab my daggers on my hip. 

“Someone should put it out of its misery before it gets its rider killed.”  Tynan starts back up. 

“You’re fucking psychotic” I mutter under my breath. His head snaps towards me and he snarls at me. 

Tynan and his friends rid us of their presence. They push past us and I huff in annoyance, tightening my ponytail as I stand with the rest of the squad. 

“They’re kinda amazing aren’t they. The dragons?” Ridoc says, awe clear in his voice. 

“I’ve grown up here, and you never get used to it I swear.” I answer back and Violet only nods in answer. 

“I think they’re a little underwhelming honestly.”

“What are you expecting, Luca, for them to do tricks for us?” I snapped at her. She crosses her arms over her chest and Violet quickly steps in between us. 

“At least it’s not wyvern right?” She says. 

“Oh goodie, is it Violet’s story time!” Fake enthusiasm dripping from Luca. My fist clench by my side. 

“Wait, do you not know what a wyvern is? Did your parents not read to you at all?” Rhiannon sounds flabbergasted. 

“Enlighten me then.” Her tone is flat and I have to focus on anything other than her voice to calm down. 

That opens the flood gates for Rhi and Violet. The two of them compared what their parents told them, and I wish, not for the first time, that I had listened to dad more because I only understand half of what they’re talking about. 

“I remember you getting your book of fables taken away for months.”

“Why?”

“Because she thought that mom was venin. She had a long night and her eyes were bloodshot. Gods, Violet wouldn’t stop screaming.”

“It was a valid concern!” She defends herself. I hold my hands up in surrender and the three of us laugh. 

“Sounds stupid to me. Like there's any other magic besides the wardstones.” Luca brushes her hair over her shoulder. 

“They’re just stories. Sorry you lack the intelligence to enjoy them.” Rhi says. “Pryor, speed it up.” She barks ahead of her when we notice how much we’ve suddenly slowed down. 

Just then a giant red steps out of line, the same one I saw earlier. I try not to panic as deadly teeth are exposed. I smell the sulfur before I see the flames. I wrap my hand around Violet’s arm and pull her against me. The heat is over as fast it began and I look around. 

“Rhi?” I ask. 

“Pryor…” That’s when I smell it, burnt flesh. I gag but I will my breakfast to stay down. I turn my eyes to the sky. Dure he was annoying at times but he was one of us. 

“Keep walking.” Sawyer orders when he notices we’ve frozen. It’s enough of a reminder as any for us to keep going forward. 

“Holy fuck that smell.” Luca complains as she holds her nose. 

“Do you have any decency-”  I start before a sniffing from right behind me makes me pause. I stumble over my feet ever so slightly as I catch a flash of green in my peripheral. Not one but two. Right in front of me. I rack my brain for anything helpful. Don’t look away is the only thing I can begin to remember right now. So I square my shoulders and look straight ahead. I don’t even have the time to panic as the second nudges. Nudges. Violet's hand with its nose. I don’t dare speak when they’re so close to us. The dragons look between the two of us, like it’s noticing for the first time we look the same. 

“I cut my hands climbing the obstacle course.” She says out loud. I hear a rustle of wings and I dare to look over but not before a dragon lays its snout on my ribs. It makes a content noise in the back of it’s throat and I fight back a scream. I can feel the heat from its breath through my clothes and it’s making my skin crawl. The two dragons look at each other, something unspoken going through them. Violet’s eyes meet mine and I can only imagine my own look just as wide. 

“Vi-”

“We’re fine.” Both of us speak at the same time. More pressure is put on my ribs, creeping higher up my neck. I try my best to stay still as it almost nuzzles into my neck. 

“Oh my goodness.” Violet mutters. “You smell Teine don’t you?” 

I suck in a breath, not even thinking of the dragon scales both of us are wearing right now. So used to them that I don’t give them a second thought. 

“We’re Mira’s sisters.” She starts. Gesturing between the two of us. She looks at me expectantly. 

“She made these for us,” I point to the vest I’m wearing, “After Teine shed last year.”

“They’ve come in handy more than once.” She continues. “But we’re the only ones that know.” 

“And maybe we can keep it that way?” I add, greens are smart. Who knows how smart these ones are. And if they keep rubbing up against us, someone's bound to get suspicious. 

The blink between us. Slowly stepping away. I grab Violet's arm as she gives them a small bow. I just nod as we break away. 

“Oh my gods, is my heart still beating.” I whisper once we’re out of sightline. I wipe away the bead of sweat on my face. My hands are shaking slightly. 

“I thought we were dead.”

“So did I. Thank Malek for Mira.” I answer. She shakes her head like she’s trying to clear it. 

Rhiannon is ahead, looking at the both of us with eyes the size of saucers. 

“We’re okay,” She looks at me, pleading in her eyes. I nod. “They smelt Mira’s dragon.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Rhiannon looks at the both of us. Eyes zeroing in on the vest we’re wearing but she nods. 

“Of course not.” She links both of our arms with hers. “Lets get the hell out of here.” 

I’ve never agreed with her more.

We’re steps away from the exit when I feel another blast of heat at my back. I make the mistake of turning around to look and am met with a ghostly pale Ridoc. 

“I guess they thought she was insufferable too.” It was Luca. Shit. 

I do the mental math but Violet stops me. “That makes six of us.” Her voice is tight and I want to scream. Just six first years left. Holy shit. 

The weeks until threshing seem to fly by. Before I know it they’re gathering us in the field right outside of the valley. Everyone is in various stages of disarray. Ridoc is heaving up his breakfast against the side of a tree, Rhiannon hasn’t stopped bouncing from foot to foot in the last twenty minutes and I’ve destroyed what little bit existed of my nails, biting them down until pin pricks of blood appear. 

Professor Kaori has replaced Emerattio for today. 

“If a dragon has selected you already, you’ll know. So follow your gut as much as your eyes while you’re in there.” 

Rhiannon leans into Violet and me. “Which one are you going for?” 

I shake my head. “Haven’t thought that far ahead, I’m going for whichever one won’t kill me. 

“Dain tried to talk me into a brown.” Violet says with a sigh. 

“He lost his vote when he tried to convince you to leave.” She crosses her arms, clearly upset with him. 

“He has good intentions.” I start but quickly stop once Rhiannon raises an eyebrow at me. 

“Which one are you going after?” 

“I think a green.” 

“Like those greens from yesterday?” 

She nods. I think about it for a second and it doesn’t sound too bad. They seemed to like us enough, 

“They didn’t eat us so I’ll take that as a good sign.” I shrug and try not to think about it too much. 

Before I know it, it’s time. I take a deep breath. 

“Be careful.” Rhiannon says to the both of us. I give her a quick hug, not knowing if this is the last time I’ll see her. I shake my head. I can’t think like that right now. We’re all going to make it, I know we will. 

Violet and I decided to stick to the advice and separate from the beginning. It feels like hours go by before I see even a glimpse of a dragon. I don’t know exactly what feeling Kaori was talking about earlier, but I’m confident I haven’t felt it yet. 

I catch sight of an orange and instantly back up. It’s head turns towards me, sniffing the air but then seems to lose interest. 

I wonder around, half wondering where the other cadets are and half desperately trying to feel anything. The sun is starting to sink over the horizon and I start to panic. If we haven’t found a dragon by sundown, there’s no chance for us at all. 

 I can’t miss the flash of green to my left and my breath gets stuck in my chest. Even from the corner of my eye I can tell it’s one of the dragons from Presentation. I know I shouldn’t but I keep my eyes locked on it. Something telling me to stay put despite a voice in my head screaming at me to run. 

It’s rude to stare. I startle as the voice fills my head. I dare to look up and meet the dragon's eyes. I gather my wit and square my shoulders. 

Says the one who was sniffing around me last week. A small chuff that sounds oddly similar to a chuckle leaves her. 

Well are you just going to stand there or are you climbing on? 

The thought startles me. I approach her, definitely her, timidly and she shakes her wings in annoyance. 

“Sorry, first time on a dragon.” I quip, instantly regretting the bite in my voice but she seems to find it amusing if the feeling down the new bond is anything to go off of. It takes two attempts but I manage to climb onto her back. I don’t know where to put my hands, afraid of a wrong move. 

Between the scales. 

I adjust my hands, instantly feeling more secure. She shakes out her wings one more time before she launches off the ground, my stomach dropping to my feet. I slide ever so slightly back but I manage to stay seated.  I’m breathless as the trees start to shrink underneath us. I have to remind myself to close my mouth. This is what all of these years of training have been for. Just this made it all worth it. I glance around, having to remind myself to hold on with my thighs more than my hands. I’m grateful for that thought because out of nowhere she rolls into a full spiral, the motion making my stomach turn. 

“Show off.” I mutter and she only repeats the action. My whole body is shaking with exhaustion once we finally land in the flight field. 

She rears up on her hind legs once we land, pulling a yelp from me as I almost slide off her back completely. 

“I’ve been your rider for all of thirty minutes and you’re already trying to kill me.”

Oh please. If I wanted that, you already would be. Now go talk to the roll-keeper before the tall one has a heart attack. 

My eyes flick around until I catch him, Dain. I stare at the ground, just now noticing how high up I am. My dismount is about as graceful as my mount but I hold my head up high. The roll-keeper is a third year I don’t recognize, she barely glances up from the book in front of her as I approach her. 

“Name.” 

“Rose Sorrengail.”

She sighs. “I know yours, dragons name.” 

“Oh.” 

I hear a laugh through the weird mind link, and she tells me her name finally. 

“Fiadh.” 

Good job.

I look up at the dais in front of me and catch eyes with my mother who gives me a small nod in approval. I shouldn’t want or need it but it still makes me smile. I step away from the roll-keeper and look around for any of my other squadmates. That’s when I spot him.

“Dain!” I all but squeal when I see him. I’m already running across the field, and he doesn’t hesitate to catch me when I jump at him. Throwing my arms around his neck. “I made it. I did it.”

 Dain squeezes me tighter, swinging me around in a small circle. When my feet touch the ground again, he doesn’t let go like I’m expecting. Instead he just looks at me. I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he opens and closes his mouth two times. He’s holding me so close I can feel his breath on my cheek. 

“How do you feel?” 

“I don’t know, it’s a little overwhelming but I’m just happy it’s over really.” I shrug as he steps back, putting some space between us. 

“I know the feeling.” 

“Has Violet made it back yet?” I try to keep the worry out of my voice but I know Dain can hear it. 

“I’m sure she’ll be back soon. You’re one of the first.” He gives me a little nudge in the ribs and I laugh. 

“Best and brightest after all.” I shot him a wink and he responded with laughter of his own. 

Minutes pass and I can’t help but keep my eyes on the sky. As each new rider lands, I can’t help the way my anxiety spikes when I don’t see my sister. 

After what feels like forever I hear her. I have to remind myself to pick my jaw up off the floor when I see the dragon she’s sliding off of. Morningstar tail. Holy shit. My sister was now bonded with the scariest dragon from this century. 

“Violet!” Dain calls as her feet touch the ground. I watch as he runs to her, I give them their space as I look around the flight field. Cataloging people as they start to land around us. Slowly, the riders get fewer and fewer until it’s clear that everyone that is making it out is out. I look back at my new dragon. 

Do you always stare so much? 

Are you always this grouchy?

Some would say that. I was startled at her response. I don’t think I said it outloud. 

No you didn’t but I can hear you nonetheless. 

Noted. She can hear my thoughts. I wish they would have made a point to tell us that. 

I hear shouting from near Violet and jog over. 

“Absolutely not.” One of the generals shouts. 

“What did you do?” I ask her, making her turn around. She throws her arms around me. 

“Why do you think I did something?” She laughs. 

I raise my eyebrows at her and it's my turn to laugh. 

“Which one is yours?” She asks, scanning the now crowded flight field. 

I point to the green and her eyes light up with recognition. 

“Seems you made an impression.”

“Not as much as you did clearly, who would have thought.”

“You should see the other one.” No humor in her voice. 

I blink up at her, thinking I must have misunderstood her. 

“Other one?” 

“The golden from the other day.” 

Holy shit. “Two?”

“Two.” She answers, “If they let me keep them both.”

They will. Reassure the injured one. 

Don’t call her that. 

Despite the fact that it’s true, I’ll find a new name for her. 

I fight the urge to roll my eyes but Rhiannon and Ridoc approach us, already in an animated conversation. 

“Look who rolled in on the biggest, baddest dragon.” Ridoc elbows Violet and Rhiannon scolds him. 

“Violet.” Dain calls from across the field. I drag Rhi and Ridoc away from them, giving them a semblance of privacy. He looks serious as he approaches her. I try not to look at them as they clearly start to argue but I’m walking in their direction when I see him grab her tight by the arms. Before I can take another step, Xaden is right by her side. Stepping between her and Dain. I have no idea what is being said but they all look pissed. I busy myself with anything other than whatever that is. 

Dain stomps off and joins another huddle of people. I don’t move from my spot. Trying to make sense of everything that has happened but it’s too much. I suddenly feel very tired, adrenaline must be running out. 

“They’re deciding if I get to keep both of them.” 

“They will.” I answer Violet confidently. She looks scared. 

“Dain said I should keep the golden, Andarna. Since she can’t bare a rider, it would keep me safe.” 

“Un-fucking-believable,” I take a deep breath. “You’ve made it through threshing and he still doesn’t get it. At least your dragons realize how much you belong here.” 

She doesn’t respond. Just looked off to the dais. I follow her eye line to the general who stands up. The entire flight field goes silent, looking at him. 

“There has been a conversation over the Sorrengail girl.” He starts, “There is no record of two dragons bonding the same rider, so there is no law against it. Both Tairn and Addarna have chosen Violet Sorrengail so their choice stands. 

It’s mom’s turn to stand. Her voice carried over the field. 

“To those who have been chosen, congratulations. To those who have not. You will have the option to try again next year. Welcome a family that knows no boundaries, no limits and no end. Riders, step forward.” 

I’d listen to her. 

When don’t I. 

I step in front of Fiadh and instantly wish I had not. I manage to bite down a scream as fire licks down my spine. 

Some warning might have been nice. 

You wouldn’t have stayed still. Now do you want to see it?She doesn’t wait for my response before I’m seeing things from what must be her eyes. Swirling patterns all over my back, a small silhouette in the middle. It extends up to the end of my ear on my left side. It’s beautiful and I try not to let out the tears I feel welling up behind my eyes. 

I forgot how emotional humans can be. 

For what it’s worth, it’s absolutely gorgeous.

Of course it is, I made it. But I still feel a small glow of pride in her words. I make quick work adjusting my shirt and lacing up my vest again. 

I catch Dain’s eyes as I’m struggling to pull it closed and he starts to walk over to me. 

“May I?” He asks, I nod my head without a second thought. He makes quick work of it, pulling it a little tighter than I would normally but I don’t complain a bit. 

When I look up, I find him already staring at me. His hand comes up like he’s going to touch me but he puts it back down. He shakes his head while looking at the ground. 

“What is it?” I question. He shakes his head once again, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Dain, tell me. Please?” I force the pitch of my voice up, making the last word two syllables. He laughs so low that I feel it reverberate through me. 

“You’re just pretty when you’re happy.You get this little gleam in your eye. I wish I got to see it more.”

I'm grateful for the darkness as I feel my cheeks heat up.

“And how do you intend to make that happen?” There's a slight shake in my voice. Sure Dain and I flirt but this is toeing a line we’ve never dared to cross. One that I so badly want him to. 

“How would you like me to?” He counters and I can feel my heartbeat in my ears. My eyes flicker down to his lips for a breath before I look back up into his eyes. 

“Da-” I don’t get a chance to finish my sentence before his lips are on mine. 

The kiss is everything I ever wanted it to be. I press up onto my tiptoes to get closer to him but it still felt like miles between us. His arm goes to wrap around my waist and I can feel my heart beating so fast that I worry for a second Dain can hear it. 

No but I can. A very clearly annoyed Fiadh chirps from down the bond. 

Butt out. I all but shout. Not knowing how to close her out but I can feel her leave my head. Hopefully going to find something else to do. 

Dain’s hand lightly wraps in my hair. Pulling me flush against him, I can feel two years of muscle through his shirt and it makes me feel bolder than normal. I run my tongue over his lips and he smirks into the kiss. He finally pulls away and I’m gulping down air. 

“I shouldn’t have done that…” He starts and I feel my heart drop. Pure terror washes over me. “I should have done it years ago.” He finishes. I swat him lightly on the arm. 

“Way to give a girl a heart attack.” He quickly catches my wrist and uses it to pull me back to his  chest. 

“I can think of far better ways to get your heartrate up.” My eyes widen at his words and I look around to see if anyone heard. Everyone else seems to be occupied or has already left the flight field. 

“I think I might just have to take you up on that Aetos.” I look up at him and all I can feel is his hands on my hips as he pulls me back in for another kiss. 

I woke up alone in my new room. It’s slightly jarring, not waking up surrounded by other cadets. Well riders now. The sheets are still warm so Dain must have only just left. I feel a frown start to form on my face but catch a glimpse of a slip of parchment on my desk. I stand up, rolling my neck to get the stiffness out and unfold it. Dain’s neat handwriting scrawled across it. 

I had patrol duty early this morning. I’ll see you later. I smile down at the tiny note, tucking it away in a drawer. 

My stuff had been brought up to my room and placed in the standard issue dresser we all received. It’s not like I had much but it was nice for all of my things to be spread out instead of in a trunk under my bed. 

I quickly throw on my leathers and grab my bag, ready to get the day started. 

I open my door and almost slam into Rhiannon. She must be in the room next to me. 

“Oh you are up far earlier than I expected you to be.” She says, mischief in her words. 

“Really? This is late for-”

“Don’t even try it. Everyone saw you and a certain squad leader practically dragging each other off the flight field last night.” 

I blush at her words. “Also,” She grabs the hair tie from the end of my braid. “You might want to wear that down for a few days.” She giggles as my eyes go wide, frantically dragging my hair over my right shoulder. 

“Squad leader?” Violet asks, raising her eyebrows at me. 

“Word gets around faster than I thought. I-”

“I’m happy for you.” She says quickly, cutting me off. She gives me a soft smile. “You deserve someone that’s going to make you happy and gods know he makes you happy.” 

I’m blushing all over again and as if on cue, Ridoc steps out of his room. 

“I was wondering where all that noise was coming from last night. Dont they start teaching sound shields in second year?” I elbow him as Violet winces. 

“Okay, new rule. No talking about my sister's sex life with our best friend.” 

“Is there going to be a sex life to talk about?” Rhiannon looks at me. I shrug. 

“We didn’t exactly talk about any of that.” 

“New topic please!” Violet begs. 

“Where’s your relic?” Ridoc asks, not missing a beat. He pulls his sleeve up as he talks, it spans his whole forearm and disappears into the collar of his shirt. 

“My back.” Violet and I say at the same time. 

“I hate when you two do that..” He shudders dramatically. 

I look at Violet and we both roll our eyes, making the four of us break out in a laughing fit. 

Breakfast is weird to say the least. People that have never once spoken to us are practically jumping to say hello or good morning. Either that or running out of Violet’s way. 

“Talk about a power shift.” 

“That’s what happens when you bond with the strongest dragon of the year. They either want to be you or-”

“Thank you, Ridoc.” I cut him off with a swat to his arm. 

“He’s right.” I try to keep my mouth from flopping open as Imogen sits down next to us, placing her tray down on the table. “Anyone with common sense would avoid you. 

“So why are you here?” Rhiannon questions the new addition to our group. Right behind her are Quinn, Heaton and Emery. Rhiannon looks around and I see her give her arm a small pinch under the table. 

I look around for anyone else from our squad and I catch brown eyes from across the dining hall. Dain beams a smile at me but startles when he notices all the new faces sitting with us. I give him a small shrug that makes him shake his head. 

“Is this going to be the new normal?” Rhiannon asks, nudging me. 

“What?” 

“Gods, I think we’ve officially lost her guys.” 

I finally look away from Dain and find out that Violet is just as preoccupied as I am. Except she’s staring right at Xaden.

taglist:

@aroacemushroom @my-venus @we-were-beautiful @babu50t @googilymoogily1921 @moonbeamruins @devotedlymyqueen @sarawritestories

[pit-and-the-pen]

My Sisters Keeper- Pt II

Summary: Rose has protected Violet for as long as they've been alive. But in the riders' quadrant, you live to be a rider or die trying.

Content warning: Cursing, canon level fighting.

Wc:5.6k

Pt. I PT. III

Thank you all for your patience. Onyx Storm coming out had me majorly rethinking this series!

“You put a target on your back, Rose!” Dain shouts at me as we approach the barracks. We’ve been having the same argument for the last few hours. Once we both left Violet's side. 

I try to ignore him, walk right past him but he grabs my arm. He turns me to face him and I almost flinch at the disapproval in his glare. 

“You just showed the best way to get to you is through her. Which is dangerous for both of you.”

“I can handle myself. And as far as Violet,” I take a deep breath to steady against the rising guilt at what happened today. “I can’t stop what happens on the mat but no one is going to lay a hand on her outside of it.” 

Dain shakes his head at me. “I can still find a way to get her out of here, she’s fighting me on it of course. But maybe you could-“ 

“We talked about this after the parapet. She doesn’t want to run away” 

Dain runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “She’s stubborn. Maybe you could talk to her, get her to see reason.”

I think it over before I shake my head. “Violet has made up her mind that this is where she belongs. It’s as simple as that, telling her otherwise is just going to push her away.” I think back to those words she told me before we left. I need one person to believe I’m going to get through this. I would be that person for her. And she is going to get through this because there is no alternative. I will not make my mother go through losing another child. I don’t think I would survive it. 

Dain opens his mouth to respond but I shoot him a glare that has him snapping it closed. “We got this Dain. Trust me. Please?” I’m laying it on thick but I don’t want to fight with him over this, over Violet. 

“You are too good at that.” He mumbles under his breath. He gives a light chuckle followed by a slight raise of his hands to show his surrender. “Fine. We keep her safe.”

“Glad you finally caught up.” I say as I place a quick kiss to Dain’s cheek and turn on my heel to walk towards the barracks. I dare a peek over my shoulder and see him staring after me, his cheeks tinged pink. I beam a smile at no one in particular and hold my head high while I walk. 

“Keep the temperaments of each breed of dragons in mind when you decide which dragons to approach and which ones to run from during threshing.” 

I'm frantically trying to take notes. Violet of course has all of this memorized and could recite it by heart. I keep getting the colors mixed up in my head and my eyes start to glaze over as I look at the garbled words on the page  in  front  of  me. I look over to Violet and she shoots me a sympathetic look. My only response is a small shrug that makes her shoulders shake as she tries not to laugh. Glad I was good for some entertainment if nothing else. 

We finally get dismissed and I hang around in the door until Rhi and Violet catch up. “Im royally fucked. How  can I bond with a dragon if I can't remember which one I'm allowed to look in the eye?” I lament to the pair. 

“Well if someone had paid attention to dad-”

“That was your guy's thing. He didn't talk about books and rules with me.” I try to keep the bite out of my voice as I respond. It's not like I wasn't training with mom and Mira while she was reading. Our parents just had different paths with us. Her face falls slightly as she processes my words 

“She can tutor us both then.” Rhi cuts in, cutting the tension. Violet quickly nods and I smile at the two. 

“Only if you start training with me.” Violet rolls her eyes 

“I can-” 

“Dont even try. Matches start next week and if we're ever going to get Dain off your back about transferring, you need to be able to at least hold your own.” 

She looks like she's about to argue but I shoot her a glare that would make mom proud and she backs down. 

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her closer to me, a small laugh slipping from her as we head off to the sparring ring. 

I hold my breath while Violet steps up to the mat. The kid in front of her easily has a foot of height on her but she doesn’t look the slightest bit concerned. He charges at her but she’s quick to get a hit in. 

They spew insults back and forth like they’re punches. He goes to rush her but stops as he dry heaves. Violet is stock still as he brushes whatever that was off and rushes to her again. She moves just in time, getting him onto his back and a dagger to his throat. But he’s a stubborn ass that won't yield. And then, with one more choked sound, he vomits on the mat. I jump back on instinct and look away. Blood I can handle but this was a new level of disgusting. 

I don’t look back until I hear the voice of Professor Emetterio yielding for the cadet. I can still hear him vomiting as Violet takes a spot next to me. Rhiannon is giddy with excitement next to us. Violet smiles as she accepts a hug from the girl. I give her a nod. As happy as I am for her, it’s odd that he was fine earlier in the day. I just chuck it up to coincidence and shake my head. 

“He’s sick.” She shrugs, there’s a little pitch of her voice that tells me something is off. But I don’t question her. Regardless, I’m damn proud she won the fight and don’t want to take that away from her. So I store my suspicions and wait for my name to be called. 

I don’t have to wait long before I’m standing in front of some second year girl I haven’t seen before. She scowls at me as she appraises me. Her eyes sweeping over mine, assumedly looking for any weaknesses. I give her nothing as I wait for her to come to me. And she does. Swinging wildly. It’s clear that she’s fast but she’s reliant on it. Swing after swing comes and even I can feel myself tiring out. 

My breathing speeds up as I dart around the mat, dodging her kicks and punches as they come. My right fist makes contact with her arm as she hooks wide enough for me to catch it. I manage to knock her off balance, her footing slipping ever so slightly. My heartbeat is too fast in my chest and I can taste the familiar coppery tang in the back of my throat that doesn’t come from blood. I shake my head, trying to stop the fog that’s threatening to creep along my vision. 

I switch my stance and kick her feet out from underneath her, using the motion to roll on top of her. I push all of my weight onto my arm which is pressed against her throat. I use my free hand to block the sloppy punch she aimed towards my ribs. She tries desperately to buck me off of her but I keep steady, only leaning forward more until I see her face start to turn a startling shade of red. 

I hold the position for a heartbeat, then another, and then I hear the sound of her fist hitting the mat three times. She yields. I roll off of her, offering her a hand that she swats away. My legs wobble under me slightly as I feel all the blood pool to my feet but Violet is by my side almost instantly, sutbly letting me lean again her as I wait for it to subside. 

“All good?” She asks when I take a deep breath. I simply nod and follow her out as we’re dismissed for the day. 

The weeks pass by in a blur. The same thing every day, wake up, train, battle brief, history, eat, train until my nervous system betrays me and hope I make it back to my bed before I pass out from exhaustion. I hardly see Violet outside of classes. She’s busy training with Rhiannon and with the way she’s winning all of her fights, maybe it’s working. Something in the back of my mind ticks away the information that all of her opponents wind up mysteriously sick but I only thank Malek for small miracles. 

We’re heading to battle brief when something poking out of Violet’s bag catches my eyes. “What’s that?” I ask, my hands already reaching for it. Her eyes widen as she scrambles to take it back. 

“It’s nothing.” She quickly snatches it out of my hands and shoves it back into her bag. 

“Violet, give it.” I try to reach around but she swats my hand away. 

“Just leave it alone.” 

“No. Because you’re hiding something from me.” I reach around again and grab her wrist as it swipes at me. She jerks in my grasp and pushes me away from her. 

“You could just mind your own business.” She grits out. I sigh

“And you could just tell me.” 

“It’s private.”

“Oh so we keep secrets now?” Her eyes widen slightly at my tone before she schools her features. 

“I”m not.” She keeps backing up from me.

“Then why do you have that guilty face?” A voice clearing from the doorway has both of us freezing. 

“Am I interrupting something?” This might be the first time I’m ever grateful for Xaden’s presence. His eyes flicker between the two of us before he stares me down. “And before I answer, may I remind you, siblings or not, fighting in your own wing is against the codex.”

Violet goes to answer but I quickly cut her off. “Not fighting.”

The look he gives me tells me doesn’t believe it for one second. He looks to Violet who just nods her head in agreement. She turns to walk down the hall, glaring at Xaden as she does. Suddenly so distracted by his presence she doesn’t even look back to see the small leather book now in my hands. 

“You are a horrible sister,” I say as I slam the book down on her bed later that night. For the second time today, her eyes grow wide as she looks at me. 

“I was going to-”

“You have a, maybe the only, piece of our dead brother and you kept it to yourself?" I don’t know if I was angry or hurt. Maybe both.  “And you didn’t think to tell me how you were winning all of your matches? Here I thought the training was actually helping but you’ve been doing something to them.” It wasn’t a question. I started piecing everything together weeks ago but I just couldn’t figure out how she knew who exactly she was up against.

“Kitchen duty.” She says simply. I shake my head in disbelief. 

“What are you going to do when you don’t have time to poison someone. I’ll admit you’re good but you won’t have time when you’re in real combat.” 

She stays silent. I sigh. “I’m just worried about you. And, quite frankly, pissed that you kept Brennan's journal a secret.”

“It was addressed to me.” That stung. I had already read through the book so I was more than aware of the fact that any mention of me was absent. 

“I’m his sister too.” Was all I said before I walked out of the barracks. 

I needed to clear my head. As angry as I was at her, fighting never got us anywhere. 

The cold air cleared my head as I thought about everything that had happened over the last few weeks. I get why the book was written for her, Brennan and her were always closer but it still hurt to know that he didn’t think I could use any advice. I cursed as I felt tears sting my eyes. I looked up to the sky, willing the tears not to fall. 

Quite voices startled me and I saw three figures moving towards me. I didn’t have time to walk away or even hide. The few torches on the wall illuminated the space enough for me to catch a glimpse of a relic, Xaden’s to be exact. That gave me enough of a clue in to the others with him, Garrick going based on the height, and Bodhi. I tried to make myself as small as possible. Blinking back the tears, already knowing my face would be puffy and red. 

They rounded the corner and I could do nothing but stand there as Garrick all but slammed into me. 

His hands wrap around my arms to keep me from falling on my ass. Three pairs of startled eyes are locked on my face. “What is it with you Sorrengails?” Bohdi mutters under his breath. I shoot him a confused look as Xaden elbows him in the ribs. 

“Are you okay?” Garrick asks, changing the subject. I step out of his grasp, putting space between us as a small harsh laugh leaves me. 

“Perfectly fine. Why wouldn’t I be.” 

“Ro-” 

“Good night.” I say as I all but run away from the trio. 

I slept restlessly that night. Waking up more tired than when I went to bed. Violet tries to talk to me at breakfast but I leave the table the moment she sits down. More than aware of how petty it is, but I’m allowed to be hurt. We have never kept secrets. What is it with you Sorrengails? Bohdi’s words from last night bounce around in my head. Just how many things is she keeping from me. 

I managed to avoid her all throughout the day. Going as far to stand across the room from her at sparring. Dain shoots me a confused look and I mouth I’ll tell you later. But what do I even say? I’m jealous that my dead brother didn’t think I was worth giving some information to, and I’m scared like hell that my sister is going to die because she keeps winning by default in matches. 

Violets name is called and my eyes flicker over to her opponent. He well and truly looks horrible. Face pale and clutching at his stomach with a pain expression. I see Professor Emetterio whisper something to a third year and they nod. 

“Slight change to the line up.” He announces as I fight the urge to curse as I see Xaden step up to the mat. 

Shit. Xaden has a smirk plastered onto his face as Violet pales. But she doesn’t back down, not that she can really turn down a challenge. 

“He’s a little out of her league, don’t you think?” Worry laces Dain’s voice as he speaks. I nod in agreement. 

Xaden laughs and brushes him off, effectively shutting down any protest Dain could make. Like it or not, Xaden is still a wingleader and out ranks him. 

He starts methodically taking off his daggers, words I cannot hear spoken between them. I cross over the room to stand next to Dain. Anxiety radiating off of him. 

“She’ll be okay.” I say, but even I’m not convinced by my words. 

Neither of us peel out eyes away and I instinctively reach for Dain’s arm as Xaden easily dodges the dagger Violet flicks in his direction. He throws it to the ground, it spinning off the mat. 

He helps her to her feet and anger clouds my vision. He’s fucking toying with her. Giving her pointers as he holds a dagger to her throat. I’m instantly pissed. Dain hisses as my nails bite into his arm. I drop my hold on his arm and mutter an apology. Whatever he says to her equally pisses her off. There’s more weight behind her punches now but that doesn’t stop him from easily blocking them. 

She grabs another dagger, her last one, and he’s quick too disarm her. His mouth isn’t even an inch from hers and for a second I think he’s going to kiss her right then and there. Dain tenses ever so slightly beside me and I grab his arm again. Holding him back this time. I swallow down the sting and keep my eyes on the mat as jealously heats my face. 

She lands one swing finally before he gives her a short nod. Words exchanged too quite for me to hear before he steps off the mat, leaving Violet standing. Her chest heaving as she walks back over to her spot. 

“You okay?” I ask her. She nods. 

“Aetos.” Xaden calls from across the room. “She could use less protection and more instruction.” Dain sucks in a breath but gives him a sharp nod regardless. I give Xaden a glare that only makes him laugh. 

“God I wanted to knock that stupid grin off his face.” I spit through my teeth as I train with Rhiannon after class. “Did you see the way he toyed with her? He thought it was a joke.” I see red as I swing at the punching bag. 

“If he wanted to kill her, he had every opportunity to do it.”

I give a particularly hard punch to the bag that reverberates up my arm. I revel in the sting. Letting it ground me. 

“I don’t doubt that but, gods, it’s hard to watch her on that mat.” 

“Why do you-”

“That’s what I;ve done my whole life. Everything I do, everything I’ve been taught, was to keep her safe.” 

She shoots me a confused face. “I know she’s a little more…breakable, but what does that have to do with you?” 

I sigh, how do I even begin to explain this. “She was never supposed to be a rider. That was Mira and me. But Mira was so much older that they would never be stationed together. So that became my job, even when we were kids. If Violet so much as scraped her knee, I was right there. And if I wasn’t-” I think about the many, many, lectures I received from my mother when I was just a little too far from Violet. And once her joints started popping, I hardly left her side. 

“When do you get to live?” She asks earnestly. I sit with her words. Coming up with no coherent response. Her eyes soften as she looks at me. 

“You’re a good sister.” She simply says before stepping into a fighting stance and I’m grateful for her dropping the conversation. 

We start gauntlet training the next day. I’m extremely happy for the break in hand-to-hand while we get time with the gauntlet before Presentation. 

Things get heated quickly, Tyran mouthing off to Violet. 

I hold back my anger, letting Violet have the chance to stand up for herself. I managed to tune him out until. 

“No one’s bothered by the fact that she’s clearly fucking our squad leader.” 

My heart sinks into my stomach and I pray the ground swallows me whole. 

“Im not-” She starts, sighing heavily. “It’s honestly none of your business who I’m sleeping with.” 

It’s stupid really. The embarrassment that takes over my whole body. He quickly loses interest in whatever conversation this is. My gaze is locked on the ground and I completely miss Violet walking over to me. She elbows me in the ribs when I don't say anything to her. 

I avoid eye contact with her as I kick a pebble with the tip of my boot. 

“You would tell me, right?” 

“Tell you what?” She seems genuinely confused. My voice is small when I speak. 

“If you were sleeping with-” I can’t even get it out. She forces me to look at her. 

“Rose.” Her face falls. “I didn’t even think…I.” She stutters over her words and I feel my cheeks heat up. 

“Just forget it. None of our business right?” I go to step away from her and she wraps a hand around my wrist. 

“It’s your turn.” Speak of the devil. Dain interrupts whatever Violet was about to say and I jump out of her grasp. 

“Thanks.” I grit out. Dain raises an eyebrow at me. Clearly not expecting the attitude. 

“You okay, Rose?” He asks. 

“Perfectly fine.” I say as I step up to the ledge in front of the Gauntlet. He steps in front of me. 

“Hey,” He puts a hand under my chin when I don’t meet his eyes. “You need a clear head before I’m letting you on.” I try to stay mad. But one look into his eyes has me thawing out completely. 

I suddenly feel so stupid for feeling jealous. Of course she would tell me. They both would. 

I take a deep breath and nod my head at him. He gives me a smile, a real smile that I can’t help but return. 

I’m dripping sweat by the time we’re done. Muscles I didn’t even know I had are aching and every step hurts. I rolled my ankle on the turning logs within my first step and it’s starting to really sting. 

“Something had to be hard for you eventually.” Ridoc jokes as he plops down next to me in the dining hall. He pokes at the wrap on my ankle and I smack his hand away. The mood in our squad has been since Gauntlet is morose to say the least. We’ve been the squad with the least amount of casualties and losing someone never gets any easier. 

“It’s like they don’t want us to make it to presentation, I swear.” Rhiannon groans from next to us. 

“If you can’t keep up with this, how do you think you’re going to stay on a dragon?” Dain chips in, sitting down next to me. He takes my ankle and places it on his lap. I try to keep my eyes from falling out of my head at the action. Everyone’s eyes flicker between the two of us, just as surprised as I am. 

“You feeling okay?” 

I shrug. Unable to form words. 

“For a first try…” He starts but then seems to think better of it. “It will get easier.” Is all he says. His hand stays on my ankle, gently rubbing circles into the joint. I can feel my cheeks tinge pink and I try to carry on the conversation but I can’t seem to focus on what anyone is saying. All of my attention honed in on Dain's hand. I don’t know why a simple touch is making my heartbeat a million miles an hour. I’ve grown up with him, we’ve sparred more times than I can count but there was something about this that felt different. 

Roll in this morning was longer than it had ever been before. Our squad stood frozen in place, faces forced into unfeeling masks as her name was read. Aurelie Donnans. My teeth ache as I hold in the tears. I catch Violet whipping a single tear from her cheek. I grab her hand, holding her as tight as I can. Trying my best not to imagine them reading her name. 

“You should have let me go alone.” Violet says to me. The heat from the burn pit tickled my face and warmed my numb body. 

“I wanted to come with you.” Is all I say. The flames crackle as she tosses her pack in. My eyes stay locked on the pit. She nudges me and gestures back to the campus. I shake my head. 

“Go ahead without me. I don’t want everyone to see me like this.” I’m trying to keep up with the stray tears that leak from my eyes but more keep coming. 

“Okay.” she nods but I grab her arm and pull her into my chest. 

“I-”

“I know.” She cuts me off. She returns my hug before walking off. Leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

Gauntlet continues to humble us. Attempt after attempt and not one of us have managed to make it to the top. Before we know it, it’s Presentation day and half of us haven’t even made it to the final obstacle. 

The entire spirit of the squad is down. So heavy I can basically feel it around me. But at least we have Dain with us. I don’t know what happened between him and Violet but he’s made a point of ignoring her the whole morning. Practically talking through her when he talks to me. 

“What did you do?” Rhiannon whispers to her. She sighs. 

“He wants something I can’t give him.”

She shoots her an incredulous look. Violet looks at me, slightly panicked. 

“Not that.”

“How can it not be like that? I mean you have eyes right? He’s hot in that boy next door kind of way. Wouldn’t you say Rose?” 

My mouth opens but I can’t make words come out. Was she teasing me? 

“Leave her alone.” Violet says, laughing slightly. Definitely teasing then. 

Xaden’s voice cuts through the chatter and announces that it’s our turn. We start marching single file towards the gauntlet and Dain cuts in between Violet and I. 

“Change your mind.” My ears strain to catch his whisper. My mouth parts in shock. 

Her only response is a stern no. He repeats his words again and he changes to downright pleading with her. That explains his attitude earlier. I can tell by her annoyance that this isn’t the first time he has had this conversation with her.

I don’t have time to focus on the rest of their conversation. The sun nearly blinded me as we stepped out onto the flight field. My hands start to sweat as I stand in line, waiting for my turn. I watch the people in front of me either finish or fall. And right now there's a big difference in those numbers. My vision tunnels as my name is called. I make it across the first section with ease. Blocking out the cheers of encouragement from my squad mates. I will my arms to wrap around the chimney, finding foot holes that don’t actually exist as I get further away from the ground. I can’t look down. Not now. I can only look forward as I push myself to my limit. Just the ramp left from here. I take a wider stance, shifting my weight onto my back leg. I haven’t exactly figured out the timing for this but I can’t think about that right now. I take a deep centering breath and rush forward. It’s basically a vertical run the moment my feet hit the wood. 

The wood is slippery but I grit through it as I curl my hands over the edge. I’m short but I’ve been training my legs almost my whole life. I hang on the edge of the top for a few seconds. My arms and shoulders are screaming in protest. I try to put my feet up and they slip, my sweat slick hands losing grip for one heart sinking second. I hear a voice call out from underneath me as a scream bubbles in my throat. I push it down as I sink all of my weight into my heels, forcing my legs to give me any momentum to push my elbows up over the edge so I can pull myself up. My breathing is labored as I finally gain an inch, then two, then my elbows are over. It’s just a straight arm extension and I’m over the lip. One more heartbeat is all I give myself before I’m gritting my teeth and pushing myself up. It’s not graceful by far but I’m standing. My knees are already screaming in pain with what I know will be bruises later. But I don’t care. I made it through. I turn around for the first time, letting the voices of my teammates fill my ears. I can hardly hear them over the blood pounding but I smile nonetheless. My legs wobble ever so slightly as I walk over to the rest of my squad who instantly engulf me hugs.. 

The instant I’m out of their reach, I’m lifted off my feet. The smell of leather and something distinctly Dain overpowering my senses as he spins me around. My hands wrap around his neck and I can’t help but laugh. 

“You did it.” Relief is clear in his voice as he sets me back down on my feet. I don’t even have the energy to feel embarrassed at his actions. I’m so happy. 

“Has she started yet?” I ask, breathless but not entirely sure it’s still from the gauntlet. 

“She’s next.” His face falls just a fraction but then he looks back at me and gives me a boyish smile that melts my heart. 

Rhiannon made it before I did so she’s already waiting for me with another hug. I don’t let go of her hand as we both turn our eyes to Violet. 

She makes it through the first obstacle perfectly, not once reaching for the ropes above her head until she reaches the chimney. 

“What is she doing?” Rhiannon asks from beside me. My eyes go wide as she drags the thick rope over to reach the next obstacle. And then like the genius she is, she starts using the rope to climb. Leaning onto it as she starts to climb. 

“Hell yes!” Ridoc screams as she reaches the top. It’s officially the furthest she’s gotten and I am giddy with excitement for her. She stands but then falls to her hands and knees. 

“Get up!” Rhiannon cheers.

“One more Vi. Come on!” I shout and I see her nod and push up onto her feet. Her chest moves rapidly but I see her focus go to the ramp. Sizing it up, she sits for a few seconds just inspecting it. She takes a few more steps back and then charges forward. Her legs are moving faster than I’ve seen before. I think I stop breathing as I see her jump forward. I’m frozen in place, stuck between wanting to look away and terrified to do exactly that. Rhiannon’s weight beside me is the only thing stopping me from bolting over to her. The moment I think she might slip, I hear a dull thud from the ramp and cheer out as her dagger pierces through the wood. 

“That’s it Violet.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. One last move and she’s over the edge. Rolling onto her shoulder in a way that has me wincing. She stands up and then looks back over the edge, taking her dagger back. 

The three of us, Rhi, Ridoc and me, are on her instantly. Arms tangling as we squeeze her tight. 

“You made it!” Rhiannon’s joy echoes my own and I feel happy tears in my eyes. She lets her go and I can’t help but pull her into another crushing hug. She returns it, leaning into me. 

“We did it, Ro.” 

“We did it, Vi!” We just stand looking at each other. Months of anxiety seemingly making her lighter. 

“Cheater!” 

Fucking Amber Mavis. I step in front of Violet without thinking. Mavis looks pissed as she shouts at Xaden. Someone, Garrick, steps out from besides Xaden and has the sense to tell her to back up. 

“She used outside items, not once, but twice!” She all but whines. “It’s against the codex. We live or die by the rules.” 

Garrick takes a step that makes her retreat back. “I don’t take kindly to you calling anyone in my section a cheater.” He’s staring her down and even though he’s got at least a foot on her, she doesn’t back down. “And last I checked, it’s up to the wingleader to punish any rule breaking.”

Xaden finally looks up from the paper in his hand. “Sorrengail.” We both look up, making him sigh.

“I expected a penalty for the rope.”

“And what about the knife?” Amber cuts in before Violet can finish. “Clearly that is a disqualification.” 

“A rider may only bring into the quadrant the items they can carry-”

Mavis’ face twists as she starts in again. 

“And they shall not be separated from those items no matter what they may be.” I finish for her, pride welling in my chest about how well she thought this through. This wasn’t just some spur of the moment decision. Violet had saved her own life when she brought those daggers. She gives me a smirk. 

“Last I checked, Amber, I carried those across the parapet and they’re a part of me. Look it up if you don’t believe me. Article three, section six, addendum B.”

Amber's well and truly cornered. She has nothing to argue against, technicality or not, Violet’s right. “You’re leaking” is all Xaden says to end the conversation and for the first time, I see the red all over Violet’s hands. Rhiannon and I help her wrap them up as we wait for our last squadmates to climb. I look around and want to cry. We all made it.

taglist:

@aroacemushroom @my-venus @we-were-beautiful @babu50t @googilymoogily1921 @moonbeamruins @devotedlymyqueen @sarawritestories

[pit-and-the-pen]

Xaden tried to help Violet by telling her the right way isn’t the only way and she’s made sure he’s regretted it every second of every day since😭😂

[pit-and-the-pen]

How did you and secret-third-thing get to be friends?

Wow, STT's government name and all, huh? It's real easy, anon. I bit her. Like that law firm intern, I just like to bite people and she's an easy target. That's how The Virus™️ gets in, from there it was super easy to reprogram her-

[pit-and-the-pen]

Sooooo…. I promise I didn’t forget about this but I had some sever writers block for some reason. Anywho. Working on part 7 currently!!!

I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Think of this chapter as an apology for the last chapter <3 I split this into two parts so hopefully, I don’t have as long between them! (also girly finally has a name, let's just pretend I've been using it the whole time...)

Warnings: Mentions of not eating and weight loss, grief (Rhys is not doing well without Feyre),

WC: 12k

After Rhys and I got back to the house, things seemed better. Madja had already arrived, diligently working on Cassian’s shredded wings. She had knocked him out with a hefty dose of sleeping tonic, hopefully enough to keep out the worst of the pain while she healed what she could. 

Azriel had been moved to his room, and once Madja confirmed Cassian would be able to fly again, I didn’t leave his side. It felt strange. To not have his head in my lap without his voice or seeing his hazel eyes. No snarky comments. He stayed asleep as his body cleared out what little poison had found its way into his blood, the wound in his chest already looking better. I protested any time someone suggested that I move from my spot. So Rhys and Mor brought me food, leaving on the nightstand without a word. 

A small part of me felt guilty for not being there for Rhys. For not sitting by Cassian while his wings healed. The mating bond was so new that I wasn’t surprised by his small outbursts or hard stares. I didn’t blame him. I tried not to let my mind drift to what I would have done to the King of Hybern, to Tamlin and Lucien, if Azriel didn’t make it. Even then, it wasn’t the same. Azriel wasn’t my mate. But staring at his sleeping face, I accepted that whatever I did feel for him had long passed the childish crush I harbored for so long. 

It was days before he even twitched, before any semblance of movement came from the figure in the bed. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t take my eyes off of him for a single second. The last time he ended up with an arrow in his chest. And gods help me if he doesn't wake up. No. He’s going to wake up. 

As if the mother herself heard my words. There was a faint twitch in his wings. Then before I knew it he shot upright in his bed. Chest heaving as his head whipped around. My hands were instantly wrapped around his. “Az. Az.” He shoved me off, eyes wild. I tried to get my feet under me but I wasn’t expecting the sudden push and I found myself on my back on the ground, a harsh cry falling from my lips at the contact. The sound of Azriel’s labored breathing filling the space. I went to pull myself up before shadows started to fly around the room. In perfect time with his rapid breaths. I sat there, utterly unable to think of anything to do besides look. My body acted before my mind caught up with it. I reached out a shaky hand for one of the black tendrils. Sliding my fingers over it and the flurry of movement stopped. “Azriel?” I spoke, voice shaky. 

“Melody.” He all but whispered back. Voice caressing my name. The shadows retreated back to Azriel. Staying close by his side. I could finally see him, see those hazel eyes staring back at me. I pushed myself off the ground and stayed still only long enough for him to see that it really was me. Then I launched myself against his chest. My arms wound around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. I didn’t think as I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. But his arms wound around my waist instead of pulling away. 

“You’re safe. It’s okay. You’re home.” I muttered into his chestnut curls. Rocking back and forth on my heels as I held him. Eventually I untangled myself from him. His hands stayed on the small of my back. Holding me close to him still. 

“How do you feel?” I worked up the courage to ask him. 

“Did that really happen? It wasn’t just a bad dream?” 

“I’m so sorry-”

“You’re sorry? Melody. I almost got us all killed. If I had known Jurian was going to have an ash arrow…”

“Absolutely not. You’re not blaming yourself for any of that. Not when I almost lost you.” My voice broke and the familiar sting in my jaw had me turning away from him. “Cauldron boil me. I thought you were going to die. So you don’t get to sit here and blame yourself for not knowing everything that could happen in the world. Tamlin fucked us over. End of story.” I fought the tremble in my voice. Fought the rising panic at the twisted slideshow of him half conscious in my arms. 

“Hey. Look at me. Princess, I’m right here.” He raised a tentative hand to tap at my cheek. I might have been imagining things but I swore a single tear rolled down his cheek. I let his words sink in. He’s here. He’s alive. Isn’t that exactly what I had been praying for all week. For him to wake up and be okay. So then why the hell was I crying. 

“I’m sorry. You’re the one that's injured and I’m crying.”

“No need to cry over me, sweet girl. Save your tears for someone important.” 

“Azriel” My tone is deathly serious. “Do not think for a second that you aren’-”

A knock on the door interrupted my words. Making me jump out of his hold. I took a large step back before Cassian’s head peaked around the frame of the door. 

“Welcome back to the world of the living. Az.” Cassian walked into the room and I held back a gasp. I haven't seen much of Cassian outside of those first few hours. The hours where Madja was frantically trying to piece his wings back together. But I think I overestimated just how well Madja could heal, or underestimated how hard wings would be to heal. Something. Because I was not expecting to see every single inch of Cassian's wings covered in bandages. He seemed  to trace both of our eyes. He tried to hide the wince as he gave them a little flap. 

“Looks worse than it feels.” He gritted out. 

“I doubt that.” Azriel mutters. I go to elbow him before I stop myself. My eyes instead landed on the angry red mark right over his heart. Perfectly poised. I feel my breathing speed up as I really see it for the first time in a week. 

“Should you even be walking around?” Azriel chuckles, but concern laces his every word. Cassian laughs before the sound cuts off with a grunt. 

“Rhys told us you were awake. So I wanted to see you with my own eyes. It’s right back to bed rest after this.” 

Azriel makes a noise in agreement. 

“Cassian?” Azriel starts. “I’m glad you’re still here.” His voice sounded thick. A slight wobble that makes my chest pang. 

“I’m glad you’re still here too. Although we both know it’ll take more than that to get us both.” 

A sob bubbled through my lips. I turned my face away as the two Illyrian warriors trained their eyes on me. I held up my hand, signaling them to give me a minute. 

“How about.” I took a deep breath. “We don’t go around trying to tempt fate right now. Just be happy you both are here. End of sentence.” 

“Princess.” 

“No, I know. I’m happy you’re feeling a little better Cassian. Now get your ass back in bed. I’ll…I’ll grab you both food.” I said, suddenly needing to do something with my hands. I shoo Cassian back across the hall to his room and I did not leave until he propped up with his pillows again. I shot him a glare that told him to not move and then headed towards the kitchen. 

I didn’t do much. Just heated up some pieces of bread and cut thin slices of cheese, some leftover meat from the fridge. Not nearly enough for two full grown Illyrains that were still trying to heal, but enough to get them through until I could cook dinner. 

I walked into Cassian’s room first. Cassian was nothing but smiles as I handed him the plate. 

“I might get hurt more often if it means I get to see you playing nurse princess.” 

“Cassian-”

“Don’t. I know. We’re both here. We’re all here.” He flinched slightly. “Well not all all of us but she’s okay at least.” He was rambling and I leaned down to press a light kiss to his forehead, deciding against giving him one of his signature hugs. 

“No more dying on me, General. Do you hear me?” 

“Yes ma’am.” I point to the plate and mime eating before I turn around and carry the other plate to Azriel’s room. 

I knock despite the open door, not wanting to startle him. But his shadows are already nudging the door open wider for me. The fae lights cast a small glow to the room, the curtains still drawn tight. I place the tray of food on the small table beside his bed and sit down next to him. He doesn’t say much, just letting us sit in comfortable silence. 

“You should eat.” I say eventually. He chuckles. 

“I’ll survive.” 

“Az.”

“Just stay with me?” He asks, and how am I to deny him. I curl up closer to his side. I don’t know when it happens but feeling him next to me sends me into a dreamless sleep. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The next few days pass the same. I help the boys with whatever they need. Cassian needed more help than Azriel due to his balance issues. Eventually Cas was able to walk without my arm to support him. We walked back and forth along the long hallways in the townhouse. We spent hours with him just flexing his wings up and down, up and down, until he was sweating and wincing with pain.  

Rhys is busy with literally anything else it seems. He is only in the house long enough to change clothes and maybe eat whatever I’ve left out for him. He’s never in his room for more than a few minutes. At this point I’m surprised that he has any hair left with how much he’s been running his hand through it. Not once has anyone dared mention Feyre. No ideas have been shared on how to get her back. I know that the mating bond wasn’t the one that was snapped between them but I can see the way the distance is wearing him thin. 

Rhys will push down emotions until they nearly kill him and I had enough of it, I catch him one day trying to sneak out to do gods knows during the late hours of the night. The lights flicker on in the hallway as I sit down at the large table in the kitchen. 

“Hello.” Is all he says to me, turning to leave again. 

“Sit down Rhys.” I sigh to him. He tries to pretend he doesn’t hear me. “Rhysand. Sit your ass down in this chair right now or so help me, I’m following you wherever you go.” 

He flinches at my tone. The voice that makes me sound eerily similar to our mother. I see his shoulder rise as he takes a deep breath and he sits in the chair that I kicked out with my foot. 

“You’re not sleeping, you’re hardly eating. When was the last time you even bathed?” I could see the dark circles under his eyes, the slightly sick pallor of his tan skin. “Everyone else might be content to let you destroy yourself but I’m not going to sit back and watch it happen.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just stares blankly at a spot behind my shoulder.

“Killing yourself isn’t going to bring her back.” I whisper, scared to say it too loudly. He flinches.

“Melody-Please.” His voice breaks. 

“No. And you can’t keep blaming yourself that it happened-” He opens his mouth to try to interrupt me but I hold up a hand. “You aren’t going to sit here and tell me that’s not exactly what’s happening here. You’re punishing yourself for what happened at Hybern. No of us saw it coming. We got sold out by the one person we should have seen it coming from. But guess what, it happened. And we all survived. Be happy for that. Be happy that you didn’t have to take home your brother's lifeless body. Be happy that Cassian was able to keep his wings, and most of all, be happy that Feyre is somewhere where we know she’s safe.”

“BUT SHE SHOULD BE HERE!” His fist slams down on the table, I don’t even flinch. “I should have been able to protect her. The one thing in life I swore I would do, I wasn’t able to do. And now she’s back at that house that she hated. The one that he locked her away in and there’s nothing that I can do.” His head slumps, his voice breaking. 

“So you do what you can. And most importantly you remember why she did it. She didn’t put herself back in Tamlin’s arms because she was trying to save herself. Rhys,” I place my hand over his, still clenched in a fist. “She did it for you, for us, for her real home. She did so that we could come back.” He takes a deep breath, his head shaking slightly. 

“I should have been enough to protect her. Why do the people I love always get hurt?” He speaks like it’s a confession. And the words sound so foreign to me, that self hatred I know he hides away. That I feel tears well in my eyes. 

“Rhys-” 

“I wasn’t enough to save you. I couldn’t save our other sister, I couldn’t save my own mother. Cassian and Azriel should have died in Hybern. I should have died under the mountain.” 

“It’s not your job to save everyone.” And once again he’s shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry that you’ve felt like this for so long. But we’re your family. No one thinks you're a failure Rhys. If you do, fine, that’s your own guilt to process and I won’t tell you what to feel but I know I don’t see you like that. And no one else sees you like that. We’re by your side through all of this not because you’re our high lord but because we love you. We’re in this together and we always have been.” And he looks at me, really looks at me and I see nothing more than my older brother. The boy he used to be before he ever thought he would be high lord. The scared boy in Illyria who took in strays because he cared so much. 

“Now, you can sit here and continue to feel sorry for yourself, continue to waste away while we’re forced to watch, or you can make sure all of this means something.”

The difference was night and day. Cassian’s wings were getting stronger every day. We had taken to him training by carrying me up to the house of wind then back down. He didn’t make it the first time but within a week he was able to do it without breaking a sweat. Azriel and Rhys were watching the other courts. Spy networks to try to figure out plans and paths for the other courts. 

Rhys took over for what Azriel couldn’t do. Rhys didn’t open up more than he did that night, but I saw the way his face seemed more relaxed. His shoulders were a little less tense and it wasn’t perfect but it was a start. We’d focus on all the other stuff after the war. And the war was coming whether we liked it or not. He had only been gone for half a day when I felt the image slam into my head. Cassian and Azriel were sitting next to me, one of the few moments that the three of us were together. Feyre being slashed across the face by Eris. Running, ice cracking under her. She was in Winter. Close enough from the border that we could be there in a matter of minutes. 

“Shit.” I pushed myself up to my feet, not caring as the chair clattered to the ground at my feet. Cassian was out of the house faster than I could blink.Azriel following right behind.l I was left on my feet staring at the open door of the house.

I’m on my way back. She’s going to be okay. Rhys' voice filled my head and I could hear the desperation in his voice, the sheer force at which he was rushing to get back to the house. 

I sat and waited, picking at my nail bed until they started bleeding, watching the scabs form only to pick them back open. Blood was caked under my nails by the time I heard the beating of wings. They’re back. I practically screamed in my head. I felt the sigh of relief from my brother. 

Less than 5 minutes. 

My throat felt tight as I took in Feyre. Her clothing was torn and dirty. Hair a tangled mess. But she was alive. Alive and home. I sent the image of her standing in front of me to my brother. 

“Feyre.” I choked out. And her small smile was all I needed to launch myself into her arms. She seemed taken aback by my sudden movement, arms hanging limply by her side until they wrapped around my shoulders. 

“Welcome home.” I whispered, clutching her closer. I finally pulled away from her, giving her a quick once over for any major injuries. She seemed okay, safe for a gash that was already healing in her arm. 

“Eris had her cornered.” I felt the blood leave my face at Cassian’s words. 

“How did she-”

“You think I would let her die?”

The relief that had rushed through me was quickly pushed out of my body as I caught a glimpse of the long red hair that trailed behind her. 

“Get out.” My tone was enough to make Lucine freeze in his tracks. His eyes locked with mine and I felt Azriel by my side in an instant. “How dare you show your face in this city. In my house.” I felt that darkness rattling in its cage. Begging to be released. Genuine fear flashed across Lucines face. I risked a glance at Feyre and I saw the startled look on her face. 

“He saved me.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what he did. I care about what he’s done.” They both flinched. 

Feyre said my name and it was only the near silent footsteps of my brother entering the room that stopped me from wrapping my hands around Lucien’s throat. I looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. 

“Don’t think this is over.” I gritted out to Lucien who took a deep breath of his own. 

Rhys cleared his throat from behind me and I had the sense to step out of the way. Letting Feyre see her mate. And when their eyes met, she collapsed onto the floor. Sobs already echoing through the room. Rhys was on his knees in front of her in a matter of seconds, holding her face in his hands before they whispered to each other and he pulled her lips to his. 

I was happy for them, but I would be happier if I was anywhere but that room. 

“Find somewhere else to be.” Rhys didn’t even pull away from Feyre long enough to make sure we heard him. And I didn’t need to be told twice. I pushed the two gawking Illyrians out of the house, Mor grabbing Lucien’s arm and towing him behind her. 

“Gods.” Cassian mumbled under his breath as I pushed him a little too hard. Azriel glanced at me, silently asking if I was okay. I thought for a second and shrugged. 

Mor winnowed all of us to the outskirts of the house of wind, Azriel flying me up to the door. 

The moment we entered the house, I had the front of Lucien’s shirt in my hands. 

“You fucking bastard. You scheming, slimy bastard.” I shoved him so hard he fell onto his back, scooting across the floor as I stalked over him. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.” Lucien was silent. The room was silent. The redhead in front of me just hung his head, shaking it slightly. 

“I don’t have one.” HIs voice shook but I didn’t let it freeze the anger burning through me.

“Then you better start explaining what the hell happened.”

So he did. 

“Despite what you think, Tamlin does love Feyre. In his own way and after everything with Ama- With her” He corrected himself, not willing to say the witch queen's name. “He was so scared. His court was, is, in ruins. It looked bad to have a partner going back and forth. He tried to get information out of Feyre. Layouts and locations and plans. But she only gave us the same excuse that she didn’t remember. Saying that Rhysand was playing with her memory. They were insignificant details. But it terrified Tamlin. To think that he was sending his mate into danger whenever she left his side. If we had known what was really happening..”

“You would have never let her leave.” Lucien had the decency to look ashamed.

“He got more and more worried. Was searching all over for any way to break the bond. Every time he thought he might have found a way, it was a dead end. So he got more scared, but also was spending more time away. I was too. I saw through the happy act she was putting on but I couldn’t do anything to help. I didn’t know what she wanted, what she was waiting for. She started talking to me but that only made Tamlin more and more mad. She was looking for any way to help us and Tam pushed her away everytime.” The words kept coming. 

“Then he lost it. She had threatened to follow us. To leave the house, Tamlin was so scared he was shaking. The thought of her getting hurt again because of him was eating him alive. I don’t think he even began to think of what locking her in the house would do. Neither of us did.” He looked to Mor now, for the first time. 

“I’m glad you got her. She was drowning and there was nothing I could have done.”

“You could have stood up to him.” I said bluntly. 

“I couldn’t help you. Why do you think I could suddenly help her.”

“Because you should have.”

“And then what? I piss off Tamlin enough that he kicks me out of the court, thinking I’m making another move on Feyre. Don’t give me that look, he thought when she first got there but I would never. If he gets sick of me, then where do I go? Not back to Autumn. And who would take me in, everyone’s afraid of my father. Afraid of Tamlin. I would be utterly fucked. So I sat by yet again and watched every day as she got worse and worse. And I hate myself for it.”

“So how does all of this become helping Hybern?”

“Tamlin lost it when he came back and found Feyre gone. He searched the whole court for her, even sent people into summer to look for her. We searched for days and then he caught that familiar whiff of Rhysands power and he truly lost his mind. Again, we’d been hearing how awful he was to her but he knew he couldn’t just march into the Night Court and get her. And now I know we wouldn’t have found her anyways because she was here. He tore the entire manor apart. He just…he’s not himself anymore. I don’t know what happened to my friend but something under the mountain changed him.”

“Good. He could burn the entire place to the ground and he still wouldn’t have gotten all he deserves.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t. Fucking. Speak. For. Me” I hissed at him. He raised his hands in surrender. 

“Hybern walked right in. Offered Tamlin a way to get Feyre back and stopped listening after that. Plus Ianthe did what she does best. She saw an opportunity for more power and she jumped on it. Whispering to Tamlin how everything would be better if we joined Hybern. We, I, never wanted to go that far. But once Tam get’s something in his head…”

“It’s like talking to a brick wall.” I finished for him. He nodded and I let out a heavy sigh. Everyone held their breath as I reached out a hand to pull Lucien off of the floor.

“Thank you-”

“If you take one step out of line. One hint that you’re going to go running back to him. And I’ll gut you where you stand.” Was all I said as I walked away from the group. I felt all their eyes on me and I didn’t care. I stormed up the stairs to my room and slammed the door. I was acting like an upset babe but so be it. I can feel the anger coming off of me in waves. Explanation or not, it doesn’t undo everything that Tamlin has done. The image of Feyre’s face as she had to watch her sisters being thrown into the cauldron, not knowing if they would survive, was something that haunted my dreams. A feeling of being helpless to defend your own blood. It boiled my blood. Despite Lucien claiming he wanted to stop him, he didn’t. And that’s the only thing that matters. He could have but it was uncomfortable for him to do, so he did what he does. Sat back and let it happen. Playing the nice guy when Tamlin wasn’t around. I can’t count the amount of times Lucien held me as I cried only to let the same thing happen again and again. But he’s here. He got Feyre back. 

Part of me was more angry about that. He got her out. And I’m thankful that he did but why was she any different? What had been so bad that he decided to leave another court. I pushed the thought away, choosing to sit in my own rage instead of nurturing the little kernel of sympathy that I was feeling for Lucien. He made his bed, he can fucking rot in it for all I care. At least that’s what I told myself as I flung myself onto the bed and pulled the covers over my head. Blocking out the faint knocks I heard on my door. 

Of course it wasn’t that easy. I felt the bed dip as someone sat down next to me. I peeked my head out from the covers long enough to see Mor. Her face was tight. Eyebrows pulled close to her nose and her teeth clenched. 

“I wish you would have hit him at least.” She joked and I pulled the blanket back over my head. “Okay, wrong thing to say.” She gave a tense laugh. “It was weird seeing him.” Her voice was suddenly small. I wanted to kick myself in the head. I never once considered what it would be like for Mor to see him. Her own memories that would have dragged back up. I pulled the covers back down, looking at her now. 

“I don’t remember much, but he was the one that called Azriel for me that day.” She was picking at her nails, chipping off pieces of her perfect manicure. 

“I’m not saying I’m happy he’s here. But there’s good in him, as good as any of the Vanserras can be.”

“That makes it worse.”

“Why?”

“Because he could be good. But good people can’t stand around and watch bad things happen.”

“You know it’s not that simple.”

“Amarantha almost killed me for doing it. So yes, I do know. But I also know that I would rather die than watch the people I love get hurt.”

“Then you’re better than most people. Congratulations.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice and I fought the urge to kick her out of the room. I know she was hurting, the way her eyes were flickering around the room, avoiding mine, let me know as much. So I let her bitch at me. If it made her feel better. I pulled the blanket back a little more, patting the area next to me. She thought about it for a second before she crawled next to me. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her. 

“When did everything get so damn complicated?”

“Get?” I asked and she laughed. A real laugh this time and I found myself laughing right along with her. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We all found ourselves in the house of wind that night. None of us were brave enough to try to see if the coast was clear at the townhome. 

“I wouldn’t blame them if we didn’t see them for a month.” Cassian said as he drained the contents of his glass. 

“Gross. Okay. It’s bad enough I had to see…all of that. But don’t remind me.”

“Aw sorry Princess. I forgot we had virgin ears in the room.”

“Knock it off you oaf.” I threw a pillow in his general direction. “He’s still my brother. I don’t want to hear your speculation about his sex life.” I cringed even saying the words. 

“Prude.” Cassian snorted. 

“Asshole.” I countered.  

“Gods why don’t you two kiss already, it would be quicker than listening to this all night. Isn’t that what you all do here anyways?” Lucien chirped from the corner of the room. 

I was about to snap at him when a deep rumbling growl filled the room. 

“Shut your mouth Lucien. I won’t stop her if she goes for your throat this time.” Azriel bit out. 

I felt a shameful blush creep over my cheeks as Azriel defended me. I wanted to scream how wrong Lucien was. Wanted to run my hands down Azriel’s perfect face and let him know exactly what I thought of him. It had taken one touch from him earlier to calm me down. Right as he had to haul me off of Lucien earlier.The redhead asked one question about Elain and I lost it. 

Screamed at him all over again. For his audacity to say we stole her away from him.

 “I don’t know what I expected from the night court.” Muttering under his breath had me launching myself at him. Hands already reaching for his neck. And it was truly only Azriel that stopped me. He picked me up like I weighed nothing. Threw me over his shoulder and put me in my room. I pouted like the child I felt like until I had calmed down enough to be in the same room as him. 

Even now, Lucien still gave me a wide berth. I’m honestly a little impressed that he found the nerve to try to make a joke. But Lucien saw everything. That was one of his biggest strengths. So he no doubt could tell the way I knew my eyes lingered on Azriel. The way I blushed when he looked at me for too long and he had decided to go right for the throat in his own way. Calling out Cassian and I’s banter as anything more than just that. Reminding him not so subtly about Cassian and Mor. 

“Get snippy with me all you want, shadowsinger. If you can stomach it, go ahead. Me on the other hand. I’m tired and sore and just want to go the fuck to sleep. So goodnight. You all can take turns plotting to kill me in the morning.” And he stormed off with no other words. 

He had just left the room before Cassian chuckled, poking me in the ribs with his elbow. 

“He sure can dish it out can’t he.” 

“Shove it, Cas.” Azriel snapped at him. My eyes shot to Az, eyebrows raised in question. 

“Maybe he’s right. We’ve had a long day. It might be time to get some sleep.” 

“Yeah.” I stood up, pulling away from Casisan’s side. “Walk with me?” I held my hand out for Azriel to take. He stood with a huff but grabbed my hand anyways. I prayed Azriel missed the way Cassian muttered under his breath. 

“Thank you.” I said once we were out of ear shot. I had led him to the library in the house. 

“For what?”

“I don’t know. Defending me.” I suddenly felt shy under his gaze. 

“Princess, I will always defend you.” 

“I know. You know there's nothing going on with Cas and I right?”

He bristled at my words. 

“It wouldn’t be a big deal if there was.” His tone was unreadable and I felt stupid for the way my heart sank. 

“Yeah totally. But I was just letting you know. I mean you would probably be the first to know anyways. The way these things have been following me around lately.” I looked down at the shadow that was currently resting right at my foot. Nearly wrapped around my ankle. As if sensing my glance, it pulled back in closer to Azriel. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like having them around. It makes me feel safe. Like there’s always something or someone watching out for me.” I felt my cheeks heat up as the words fell out of my mouth. I tried to look away but a gentle hand brought up to my cheek stopped me. 

“Melody, look at me please.” His words were enough to stop my heart in my chest. We still had never talked about the kiss. After everything that had happened with Hybern, it never felt like the right time.

“Azriel. I need to talk to you.”

“Anything.”

“You kissed me.” The words were out of my mouth and you would have thought I poured a bucket of cold water over his head. His hand dropped from my face and he took a step back. I didn't realize just how close we were standing together until I felt the empty space where he had been. 

“Az. Please.”

“No. Just stop. It was a mistake. That’s all.” This had to be a nightmare. But the cold shock to my entire system, the pain that radiates through every fiber of my being told me it wasn’t. Not even my nightmares would be this cruel. To let me think that I was so close to having him only to have it ripped away from me. 

“Oh. Right.” I took a step back of my own. Willing the world to tilt back onto its axis. Trying to pretend that I didn’t feel like I was drowning in all the words I had planned on telling him. 

“Right. Of course. A mistake.” I felt the sting in the back of my teeth, the way my whole face tightened up. The itch in the back of my nose. I was going to fall apart right in front of him if I didn’t get out of here right now. 

“Melody.” 

“No. That’s all I needed to hear. I just needed to know that you felt the same.” I forced out. Trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. And despite my better judgment, despite that little voice in my head that screamed at me to stay right there and scream and curse and yell at him to love me back. I walked away. I left him standing in the garden, hands balled into fists at his side. And I walked into the house. Trying to keep it together as I passed Cassian. Not even bothering to say good night as I all but ran up the stairs into the room that was mine when we visited. 

I almost screamed when I saw a figure curled up in the middle of my bed. But as the fae lights flickered on, I let out a sigh of relief. 

Nesta. 

“That was…dramatic.”

“What?”

“All of that in the garden.” 

My heart stopped for the second time that night. “You..You heard all of that?”

“Well it was kind of hard not too.” She pointed to her ears. “Super hearing, remember? Perk of being made and all of that fun stuff.”

“Nesta. If you heard all of that then you know I’m not in the mood for whatever this is.”

“What all of what is?”

“This thing where you say something hurtful and I throw it right back and we go until we’re both pissed at each other.”

“I just came to bring you this.” She smirked. Holding up one of the smutty romance books I saw her constantly reading around the house. “Figured you’d need it since you clearly aren’t getting anything any time soon.” 

“Get out. Please.” Her words sent a fresh pang of disappointment through me. Of course I had thought of Azriel that way over the years. Gods, it was all I could think about lately. But more than anything, I wanted him to be my friend. And I don;t know how I was ever supposed to look at him again without collapsing into tears. Nesta’s eyes met mine and I saw her face drop for the first time. The first time I saw that feline smirk slide off of her beautiful face.

“He must mean a lot to you. To look at him like that.” She said like she was talking to herself. 

“He does. He did. I don’t know anymore.” 

“Do you still want me to go?” And it was that little bit of warmth in her voice that I clung to. Even if it was sympathy. Even if Nesta really hated me for simply being fae. Sitting alone in my room and crying wasn’t going to get anything done. 

“No. I’m sorry.” That was all it took for her to scoot to the other side of my bed. Patting the spot next to her. She curled her knees up to her chest as I climbed in next to her. 

“Then you better tell me everything.”

So I did. I told her how it all started. Every little glance and touch and feeling. Almost five hundred years worth of history between Azriel and I. Which wasn’t a lot since it was mostly me just being an idiot in front of him. But she kept quiet. There were no nasty comments to be found on the tip of her tongue. 

“I wish I loved someone like that.” She whispered into the air as I finished. Feeling like I had been trampled under an avalanche. 

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Or do you think I’m just an outlier.”

“That’s not what I meant. I can’t even imagine how you;’re feeling right now. But I also just couldn’t imagine having that much space in me to love someone that much. Love them and not have them.”

“Nesta, has anyone told you that you’re great at pep talks?” I chuckle softly 

“No.”

“Good then I don’t have to tell you someone’s been lying to you.” And my words pull a genuine laugh from her. A full head thrown back, eyes crinkled, full bellied laugh.. 

“Thank you.” I tell her when a comfortable silence fills the air. 

“You don’t have to thank me.” She says with a large roll of her eyes. 

“I know, but I am. So suck it up.” I elbow her and she laughs again. “No but seriously, thank you. I probably would have spent all night curled up trying not to cry.”

“Well, I’m always here with a book if you need it.” She yawns and goes to leave the room. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With Feyre now back, we were spending more time than not around the map in my office. Cassian and Azriel taking frequent trips to Windhaven to try to get the Illryians together before the war came. We would need every single male they had so training had become even more rigorous. We had months at most to make them battlefield ready. 

I spent all of my time not at the town house at the house of wind. Which despite all the space was feeling very cramped. Nesta and I had called a silent truce since that night when I spilled my guts out to her. Lucien hovering in the background, getting used to the fact that Velaris even existed. And then there was Elain. She mostly just sat in her room and stared out her window. Nesta would be able to get her to eat only enough to keep her alive but she wouldn’t take anymore than that. The few times I tried to talk to her were unsuccessful. 

I saw how much it was killing Lucien. To be so close to his mate but not be able to see her. He followed the rules Feyre had given him to a T. and I truly believed he just wanted the best for her. He wanted the same thing that we all did and that was for her to be okay with this life that she did not choose. 

I tried again to talk to Elain. Nesta and Lucien get into another fight about what to do with the poor girl. 

“Get her some fresh air. Let her see the sun. Being locked up in this house isn’t doing her any good” 

As much as I hated to admit it, Lucien was right. Feyre always talked about how much Elain loved gardening. Were we any better than Tamlin, was I any better than Tamlin, if I kept her locked inside a house that she didn’t want to be in and just watched her waste away. 

I knocked gently on her door. I didn’t wait for a response, I knew I wasn’t going to get one. To no surprise, Elain was sitting in her chair by the window. The sun made her flecks of auburn shine in her hair. It gave her cheeks so much needed color. But I could see the deep set rings under her eyes. The purple marks that let me know exactly how well she was adjusting to life as  a fae. 

“Elain, I want to show you something. If that’s okay. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to but I think you’ll like it. 

Elain didn’t speak. But she took my outstretched hand and let me lead her to the garden. She seemed more upset after Feyre had left. But I saw the tiniest bit of life return as she took in the flowers around her. It had been my mothers garden. I wanted to burn it all down when I returned home but Rhys wouldn’t let me. The smell alone made me want to puke but I fought it down. Elain’s eyes had been looking out the window longingly for weeks now. If this would bring back a semblance of the girl Feyre had talked about, I could suck it up. If she had gone into that cauldron, kicking and screaming. I could go out to the stupid garden. 

So I walked through the familiar hedge’s, twin moon statues on either side and let Elain lead the way from there. She wandered through the rows. Some empty from when I demanded all the roses be pulled from the ground, some not. Some held beautiful twisting nightshades, and my mothers pride and joy, black lilies. Black until the center spots which held a rich purple. I loved them too. I found myself smiling at the flowers, mind wandering to thoughts of my mother. 

“You have to be gentle with them. They’re more fragile than your little sister, more fragile than a babe. If you touch the petals too much, they could die.” So I avoided the petals, sprinkling dirt around the newly exposed roots like she had shown me. She patted me on the head when I did it correctly, my own crooked smile plastered on my face. “Now, I think I remember you talking about cookies earlier?” 

Elain’s soft voice pulled me out of my memories. “Pretty. I miss my garden at home. I want to go back.” Not unusual for her to say. She always wanted to go home and I could do nothing but wrap my arms around her as she started sobbing again. 

“I know you do. I know more than you can understand.” I had stopped apologizing by now. Sorry I wasn't going to undo what was done to her and she had enough sympathy for herself. I couldn’t explain to her that I knew what it was like to want to go back home so badly your bones ached. I couldn’t explain to her that I had barely survived my time under the mountain and the only way I did was with the knowledge that I would see it again someday. So I held her instead. I poured all of the kind thoughts I had about the girl, all the words Feyre had spoken about her, into that hug. Hoping that even for a second I could make this new place feel like home to her. 

Eventually, she had cried herself out. I was able to get her to take a few sips from the tea I had brought out. No luck on the assorted fruit or bread. But she did study the bread. Not like she was hungry but in a way that seemed like curiosity. Eyebrows furrowed slightly, eyes unblinking. 

“Can you show me how to make this?” She asked suddenly and I jumped, not expecting to hear her voice again. 

“Of course. Any reason?”

“I want to do something with my hands again. But gardening..it’s too…” She struggled to find the words, her hands started shaking and she closed her eyes tightly. Sucking in deep breaths through her nose. I placed my hand around hers, breathing in time with her. The trembling stopped and she opened her eyes. That little spark I saw earlier gone. I went to stand up, to show her to the kitchen but she remained sitting. Eyes far away and glassy. So I sat back down. 

The two of us sat out there until I saw Nesta marching through the garden. She paused when she saw the two of us. Face softening ever so slightly. Nesta was a harder nut to crack than Elain. All bark and claws and eyerolls, but the way she looked at her sister. We never talked about that night in my room. The secrets that we shared, and I never would. Not when I recognized so much of myself in the female in front of me. So scared she didn't know what way was up or down. Just trying to keep her head above water as everything surrounded her on all sides. 

Cassian had seemed to gravitate towards the eldest sister. It didn’t seem to be a conscious decision but he would always sit next to her. Eyes followed her when she walked out of the room. His wings would flair out during their many arguments, but would always curl in slightly towards her. No one dared comment on the fact that Rhys did the same thing with Feyre. The idea that all three of the sisters had found their mates was too complicated for right now. They were still trying to make it through the day, still waking up in the middle of the night screaming from whatever had happened to them in the seconds they were pulled into the cauldron. All of that could wait until later. And it brought me some sick sort of joy to see the way Lucien squirmed when Elain would flat out ignore him. But she ignored everyone so I knew it wasn’t personal, as much as I wished it was. 

As if sensing that I was thinking about him, Lucien appeared behind Nesta. He didn’t even get to utter a greeting before Nesta was pulling her sister by the hand back into the house. Lucien’s eyes followed her the entire way. A look that was so full of longing I had to avert my eyes, suddenly feeling like I was intruding on a private moment. 

It seemed like he just noticed my presence and went to walk away. 

I sighed heavily and kicked the chair Elain had been seated in closer to Lucien. He raised an eyebrow at me. 

“Unless you want to go back to pouting in the house, which by all means, do.” I said in return. 

He tentatively sat down, shoulders tense. I didn’t try to speak to him. Didn’t want to know what was going on in his mind. 

“I know you think I’m horrible.” He started. I kept my face neutral. “And I know it doesn’t fix anything now, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it. I’m sorry I didn’t get you out of that house. I’m sorry you think I’m such a coward.” I leaned back in my chair as I let his words sink in. “I didn’t ask for her to be my mate. I’m not even sure I really want a mate.” I snorted at the words and he rushed on. “After everything with my last… lover, I never thought that I would be blessed with a mate. You weren’t the first female I had failed to save.” And I knew this. Had heard bits and pieces of the story during my time in spring. His face fell when I didn’t respond, he started to move to get up and I let him. He was almost out of the garden before I spoke his name. He turned to look at me, his face so full of guilt that I couldn’t stop the words that came out of my mouth. 

“Make this one time count then.” Make what you did for Feyre count. He looked confused then his face became sullen as he nodded. He didn’t say anything else before he kept walking back to the house. 

I sat out by the garden long after the sun had set behind  the horizon. It was getting colder out, proof that summer was starting to end, but I didn’t have it in me to move inside. I stared at the stars, tracing the constellations in my mind. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We all reluctantly agree that a trip to the court of nightmares is needed. If we’re really going to stand any chance we need Kier’s soldiers. 

I’m standing at the base of the stairs, waiting for Feyre and Rhys to pull themselves off of each other for long enough for us to get anything done. I’ve been thankful for the fact that I’m practically living in the house of wind. Some silly part of me is jealous over my brother's happiness. 

Azriel walks in and we both gawk at each other. For once the Illyrian leathers are gone. Replaced with a suit that puts Rhys’ to shame. Tight black dress shirt that clings to every single one of his muscles. His pants are still those tight training pants that showcase his toned legs. I force my eyes away from him, only to catch his roving all over my body. A small feeling of pride settles in my bones. I might have picked out this dress exactly to get that reaction from him. 

The slits on the dress sit high on my hips, the fabric draped expertly to hide as much as they show. A deep vee plunges almost all the way to navel, draped in the same way as the skirt. 

I will the goosebumps to disappear on my skin. I can almost feel his gaze like it’s his hands all over me. I look away, biting my lip to hold back a shudder. 

“Gods girl. Save some for the rest of us.” Mor says as she takes in my dress. I’m thankful for her interruption. It cuts some of the tension I can practically taste in the air. 

I link my arm with Mor and don’t wait around for the others as we winnow to the court of nightmares. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Per usual Azriel walked in after us. His dramatic entrance had people darting out of their way. I couldn’t help the satisfied smile that rose on my face. I also couldn’t keep my eyes off of Azriel dressed in his tight button up and dress pants. So unlike the usual fighting leathers he wore around everywhere. Still in his signature black, and of course, he still had the various harnesses that strapped his weapons to him, truth teller hanging at his side. Siphons on his hands and shoulders. But something about his clothes made him look even deadlier. The idea that he didn’t need to be in his leathers to make someone spill their secrets, or to spill their guts. 

He caught my eyes across the room, a smirk on his face that softened for merely a second before slipping back in that cold one.And it was that second of a real smile, a break in the cocky and cruel demeanor that made me almost fall to my knees. If Rhys had not been standing beside me, I would have collapsed at the weight of that tiny golden string that seemed to float across the room, settling right in front of Azriel. Azriel’s nostrils flared and I could simply not look away from him. Every single molecule of my body was tuned into him. I lurched forward, Rhys’ hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back from running down the dias into Azriel’s arms. Azriel noticed the movement and ran his eyes down my entire body, twice, before he turned around and walked towards the meeting room. 

My mind went back to our conversation a few weeks ago. It was a mistake. My heart broke all over again. He didn’t want me. Azriel was my mate and he did not want me. Even I had noticed the way his gaze lingered on the oldest Archeron sister. I felt my knees tremble as the weight of what was going to happen crashed over me. He was going to laugh me off. I was never going to be anymore than Rhys’ sister to him. I was a mistake. It was so cruel that I almost wanted to laugh. The very thing I had been praying would happen for centuries happens right as soon as I find out that he doesn’t want me like that. It takes all my focus to turn back to the room. To not focus on that golden string that seemed like it was pulling me tighter and tighter the further Azriel got from me. Could I keep it from him? A small part of me had been hoping that the mother would be kind enough to have my mate be someone else. Someone else so I could get those hazel eyes out of my head. That I could be happy with someone else that was not the male that had made his intentions crystal clear. No. I would not be selfish enough to tell him. Maybe it would never snap for him and we could just continue as we always have. Toeing the line that neither of us would dare to cross. Azriel could be my best friend. I would not lose him because of the bond. I felt a small glimmer of calm wash over me and it was enough to bring my attention back to the room around me. 

A scream ran through the air and pulled me out of my downward spiral. I tensed up. Eyes darting around to find the source of the noise .Frozen in the middle of the crowd, three males were trying to plead to those around them to be spared. Cassian grabbed all three of them by the knap of their necks like they were nothing more than puppies. 

“Meeting room. Now” Rhys said in the general direction of Kier as he helped Feyre rise from the throne, a ravenous look in his eyes as he watched her walk in front of him. I looked away quickly. Trying not to imagine Azriel giving me that same look. It felt like every nerve in my body was on fire. I was itching to talk to Azriel. Did he know? His look told me that he had at least sensed something. The thought immediately made my hand shoot up to my chest, rubbing away the discomfort that came with it. 

The meeting room was nothing special. The same cold marble as the rest of Hewn city. No warmth to be found. I took my usual spot besides Azriel and I tried to ignore the way he shifted his chair ever so slightly away from me. 

“Thank you for meeting with us, Kier.” 

He scoffed. “Let’s skip the niceties and get down to what you want from me, Rhys. You want my soldiers. And I already know what I want in return.”

“You’ll remember that they are mine. This palace, the people of your court. All of it is mine.” He growls. 

“Then that begs the question. Where exactly does our high lord spend all of his time? It’s certainly not in his court. So where exactly do you hide Rhysand?” 

“I don’t have time for this.”

“My answer is no.”

“You would-” Azriel starts but Rhys simply holds a hand out for him to stop. 

“I anticipated your less than enthusiastic response. That’s why I prepared something that you can’t say no to.” He speaks to the corner of the room. “You can come in.” 

I must be dreaming. This has to be some sick twisted nightmare. My eyes dart from my brother to Mor as he enters the room. Eris. A snarl rips past Azriel’s lips and Cassian’s hand is instantly on his sword by his side. 

“What is he doing here?” Cassian spits out. So they weren’t aware either. 

Rhys ignores us all. I reach under the table and grab Mor’s hand. She instantly has a death grip on mine. Squeezing it so tightly I can feel her nails digging into my skin. I don’t go to move her. 

“Eris has been working with us for some time now. In exchange we support him when he kills Beron.” 

“And where do I play into this?” I can see the hungry gleam in Kier’s eyes despite his best efforts at appearing nonchalant. 

“You’ve wanted an alliance with Autumn for as long as I can remember. This is your way to get it. But you can’t if there is no Pyrthian left to come back to. And that’s what will happen if we do not work together.”

Eris launched into the story of how he had been working against his fathers back over the years. When I felt Mor tremble, I thought of what it would feel like to sink my hands into his throat and pull it out. Rhys and Kier talked to Eris. Their words flowed in one ear and clean out the other, not finding purchase. Between Mor trying to keep from shaking next to me, to the feeling of that golden string that I kept pulling against, I was exhausted. Mentally and psychically.

Something warm snuck along my stomach, fanning my whole body. I felt myself sag ever so slightly. I couldn’t place where the feeling came from but it made my skin prickle and my heart sped up. I tried to look at Azriel but he was pointedly looking everywhere but me. Eyes unsteady, fluttering between our group. Sinking in the words that my brother was speaking. He must not have felt anything because how else could he be so composed right now. I was practically vibrating next to Mor and if it wasn’t for our current situation, I know she would have called me out on it. 

“Not good enough.” Kier’s head snaps to Rhys. “ I want something else in return.” My eyes widened as I realized what exactly it was that he was asking for. 

“No.” Mor bites out. “Rhys you can’t seriously be considering-”

“You do this on my terms. One week. And you are only allowed in my house. You will not step foot outside, you will not interact with any of my people. If you can agree to those terms then we have a deal.”

“Rhys. Please.” And it’s the closest to begging I’ve ever heard from Mor. Rhys ignores her pleading and I want to throttle my brother right there. He nods his head. 

“I also need the Ouroboros Mirror.”

Kier laughed at her words. Even I raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s yours if you are brave enough to look into it. Oh did you not know?” Kier laughed again. “You have to look into the mirror to take it and anyone who has looked into it has gone insane.” 

Feyre paled at his words and said no more on the subject. 

“Have you lost your damn mind?” I was screaming in my head. I was immediately met with Rhys slamming his mental walls shut. I knew I wasn’t the only one that was screaming at him. I sensed the way she had tensed up and I wanted nothing more than to kick the red head clean across the room. 

The meeting seemed to be finally over. Rhys didn’t so much as say a goodbye before we were winnowing back to Velaris. 

“How could you?” Those Were the first words anyone spoke when we returned. “How could you work with him? Of all the people in this damn world you picked him?” She was livid, voice trembling with anger and a shrill sadness. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her when I saw the tears spring in her eyes. “And Velaris? You want to let them come here? To my home.”

“If I had told you you wouldn’t have agreed and I needed us all to be there. I needed this to work.”

“You still should have warned her.” I grumbled to my brother. Not the least bit happy with him either. He gave me a shut up look and I didn’t back down. “You wouldn’t have just invited Tamlin to a meeting. Why is Eris any different?”

“It;s different because we need him.”

“It’s different because you said so.” He growled at my words, at the venom dripping from my words. At the challenge laced in them. I had opened my mouth to speak when I saw the shadows wrap around Rhys’ ankles. A flurry like I had never seen. Rhys stepped out of them, swatting them away like they were nothing more than a fly buzzing around his head, but they lingered. 

“Azriel. Stop.” Rhys commanded. A sign of how annoyed he was. Azriel did not call his shadows back, instead he stared down my brother. A small snarl forming on his lips. 

“Az…” And no sooner did his name leave my mouth did his shadows retract. Instead of going back to him, they swirled around my feet. Laying there leaving my feet with their slightly cold feeling. 

“The next time you do something like that, I will kill you.” Mor spit at Rhys before she stormed off. 

“You got us what we needed, Rhys, I won’t deny that. But at what cost?” Is all I say before I take off after Mor. 

She’s curled up in the middle of her bed. I don’t hesitate to climb in behind her and wrap an arm around her. She’s muttering to herself. I run my hand over her hair, trying my best to comfort her. I don’t even have words to say to her. It might have been centuries since she’s seen Eris but those wounds run deep. Deep enough to destroy the confident female that she has always been. 

I stay with her until she falls asleep. And even then I stay until I’m sure she won’t wake up screaming. Eventually I deem it safe and peel myself off of her, careful not to jostle her. 

I sneak back to my room. Exhaustion sinking into my bones as I crossed the hallway to my room. 

I was so tired it was no surprise that I didn’t see him before I was slamming into his chest. 

Strong hands wrap around the tops of my arms to stop me from toppling backwards. 

“Whoa there.” Azriel says as he steadies me. I tense as I hear his voice and he lets me go, taking a step away from me. I can’t look him in the eye. 

“Is she okay?” It’s obvious who he’s talking about. 

“She’s rattled for sure. But she’s asleep and I think that’s the best we can hope for.” 

He nodded and I keep my gaze fixed above his shoulder. 

“That’s good.” His voice is tight. The words clipped. It is borderline painful to be this close to him. My skin feels itchy and all of my nerves seem to be focused on the spot his hands were just on me. 

“Azriel…” I start and he shakes his head. 

“Not tonight. Please.”

“You know?” My shock rocks me to my core. I finally gather the courage to look at his face and I see nothing. No emotion. 

“I’ve known for a long time..” His rubbing his thumb and forefinger together. One of his nervous ticks. I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to break even more. He knew. 

“How…how long…?” My voice breaks

“Long before you went under the mountain.” And he didn’t tell me. Didn’t tell me because he didn’t want me. I feel hot tears slide down my face. I don’t have anything to say. What could I say? Plead for him to love me when he doesn’t? He starts to walk away, taking the warmth of his presence with him. I reach blindly for his arm. My hand wraps around his toned forearm. 

“I’ll get over you, I promise. These feelings, they can just be temporary- with everything happening around us. I just… Please don’t leave me.” The grief that gripped my heart was enough to knock the wind out of me. The idea of losing him because of this stupid feeling in my chest. When I looked at him there was no disgust in his face, no loathing or anything that I had expected. He just stared at me blankly. 

“Stop. I can’t… Just please, stop.” His voice was tight, breathing heavy. 

“Azriel.”

“I can’t do this.”

My heart sank to my stomach. “Do what?”

“Talk to you about this. Talk about us. I prayed you would never feel the bond.”

It was like he had stabbed me with the blade at his side. I think I would have preferred it over the echoing numbness that coursed through me. He didn’t want me. All those touches and all this time, had I misread the signals that much. But I felt it, that little hint of deceit down the bond. The way his shadows wrapped around my feet, around my shoulders. Comforting me. 

“We can talk about this, we don’t have to jump into anything. We can take out time-”

“No.” He all but shouted at me. He was breathing heavily, I could feel his exhales brush across my face. 

“Please. Why wont you talk to me?” My voice broke, tears welling in my eyes. I couldn’t look at him, look at the way his face just dropped. We stood in silence, my words ringing around the room. 

He didn’t try to hide the sob that left his mouth. “I’m terrified” My eyes snapped to him as he took my face gently between his hands. “You were taken away from me once. It nearly killed me then, but now, I know it would. And I know you’re more than capable of protecting yourself but if something were to happen to you because of me…” he trailed off, voice breaking at the thought. 

“Azriel,” I looked him deep in his hazel eyes. “I’m the High Lord's sister. I’ve been trying to outrun Tamlin for over a hundred years. You forget that I lost you once too.” I finally met his eyes, his own tears echoing mine.  “I have loved you since I knew what that word meant. Please don’t run away from me. Not from this.” 

“You can’t mean that.” He whispered. I felt everything like a tidal wave. The rush of shame, the denial, the self loathing. 

I didn’t respond right away, instead I took his hands in mine and placed feather soft kisses onto the scarred skin. “I mean it with every cell in my body. Every part of me is yours, Azriel. I’ve always been yours. Even before I felt the bond. It was always going to be you.” And as I placed kiss after kiss on his hand, I felt the sobs leave his body. Felt his wings wrap around me, securing us in our own little moment of time. I looked up at him, seeing this beautiful man with his soul laid out for me to see and knew that there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. Nothing I wouldn’t risk if it meant I got to see those Hazel eyes looking at me that way. “Kiss me?” I whispered, almost pleading. 

“I won’t be able to stop if I do.” He closed his eyes and I used my hold on his hands to pull him down to me. 

“I don’t want you to. I want my beautiful mate to kiss me right here and right now.” It was like the world moved in slow motion as he leaned down to connect our lips. And it felt like every moment leading up to this had been in black and white. The world erupts into color for the first time as his lips touch mine. It wasn’t like the desperate kiss in the court of nightmares. This was his own personal love letter. And he had spent all of his life writing it. I thought I had spent my life waiting for that first kiss. But this kiss, this moment, was exactly what it had all been leading to. Time slowed down around me. Not caring about anything but the male in front of me and I let the rest of the world fade away. Wars and powers and horrible nightmares be damned. All I needed was the one thing standing in front of me. And I would be damned before I ever let someone take that away from me.

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[pit-and-the-pen]

Eight | Sanctuary in Starlight | Shadow and Flame

Pairing - Azriel x reader

Word count - 3.2k

Warnings - Mentions of parental abuse, slight angst

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Walking around Velaris felt like stepping through a painting, each breath laced with lilac-sweet air, each cobbled path glowing under soft starlight. 

The city pulsed with magic, beauty, and most of all... peace.

Peace I had never known before. Peace I hadn't earned, but Azriel was determined to give me anyway.

At eight months pregnant, there was no disguising it anymore. My belly was round and aching and undeniably full of life. 

The glamour I wore while walking the streets of Velaris was less for vanity now and more for security, an invisible veil Azriel had woven with his own shadows, just in case. But among the Night Court's inner circle—my circle now, there was no need to hide.

Still, I felt the weight of their eyes sometimes.

Rhysand and Cassian had been... complicated. And understandably so.

They didn't say it aloud, but I could feel the judgment in the early days, the wary tension every time I entered a room. 

I couldn't blame them, not when my blood tied me to Beron. Not when the scent of Autumn had once meant danger to everything they held dear.

But time has a way of softening even the sharpest edges.

Cassian had thawed first. Probably because he couldn't resist a sparring partner, even one whose sparring days were long behind her thanks to swollen ankles and a constantly shifting centre of gravity.

Rhysand had taken longer. He watched me like he might need to shield his family from me at any moment, like trusting me was a luxury he couldn't afford. But slowly, he came around. 

Maybe it was the baby, his niece or nephew. Maybe it was the way Azriel had changed, softened in my presence. 

Or maybe... it was the way I'd changed too.

These days, I mostly saw Madja, the Night Court's legendary healer. Criva still sent notes, still kept up her research into the complications but Velaris had become home. 

Madja confirmed what Criva had warned, the baby's wings were developing beautifully. Dangerously. Too large for a body that wasn't made to bear them.

Azriel and I had agreed, if we reached month nine without a solution, we'd go to Helion. If anyone could help, it was him. But for now, we were still trying. Still hoping.

And I was still pregnant. Still tired. Still hungry. Always, always hungry.

Which is how I ended up on a stool in the middle of the townhouse kitchen, trying to reach a jar of pickles tucked cruelly out of reach on the top shelf.

"Mother above, do you have a death wish?" a voice boomed, and I yelped, my fingers brushing the glass just enough to send it tumbling.

Strong arms caught me before I could even think to panic, lifting me down like I weighed nothing at all. I looked up to see Cassian frowning, one giant hand braced around my waist, the other steadying the stool.

"No, I believe you don't," he muttered, setting me on the ground. "But Az would absolutely kill me if anything happened to you on my watch."

I blinked. "Your watch?"

He rolled his eyes, manoeuvring me away from the mess. "Yes. My watch. We're on a schedule, princess. Don't act surprised. It's no secret my brother has lost his damn mind."

"He's not that bad," I grumbled, eyeing the broken glass on the floor. "I just wanted my pickles."

"No pickles," he said, brushing me off like I was made of glass.

"But I—" My voice cracked.

Cassian turned, eyes widening. "Oh, no. No, no, no—don't cry."

It was too late. Tears spilt from my eyes, sudden and hot, as my shoulders began to shake. The sound that came out of me was somewhere between a hiccup and a sob.

Cassian looked horrified. And of course, that was when Rhysand walked in.

"You made her cry?" the High Lord asked, voice filled with outrage.

"I didn't!" Cassian shrieked, rubbing my arms like that might fix me. "She just—she started!"

"He took my pickles," I whimpered, turning those watery eyes on Rhysand.

His violet gaze flicked between us, and I could see it, the barely restrained amusement. I wasn't even offended. I'd laugh too if I didn't feel like I was about to burst into tears every five minutes.

"Cass," Rhysand said slowly, "why would you take her pickles?"

"I didn't take them! I was trying to stop her from climbing a death trap for a snack!"

"Pickles are not just a snack," I snapped, and then hiccupped again.

Rhysand reached over and plucked a new jar of pickles from the pantry, putting it directly into my hands.

"I believe this is what we call diplomacy," he said smoothly.

I sniffled, clutching the jar like a sacred relic. "Thank you, Rhys."

Cassian muttered something about dramatics and stalked off to get a broom.

Rhysand only smiled gently and brushed a knuckle down my cheek. "We'll keep you safe, you know."

"I know," I said, voice catching.

The kitchen smelled faintly of cinnamon and lemon, the scent of safety and domestic calm. But the illusion shattered the moment Azriel strode in, shadows licking at his heels like hounds bracing for blood.

His eyes cut sharply through the room, landing on the broken glass scattered across the floor.

"Why are you surrounded by broken glass?" His voice was low but sharp, the threat not aimed at me but at whatever had caused the mess.

I didn't even flinch. 

"Ask your High Lord," I said, thumbing toward Rhysand, who stood at the counter looking far too regal for someone who'd just gotten blamed for shattering a pregnant female's craving.

"It wasn't me," Rhysand drawled with a tired sigh. "She climbed the stool on her own."

"Your niece or nephew says otherwise," I muttered, resting a palm over the prominent swell of my belly.

Cassian chuckled under his breath, broom in hand, but Azriel didn't smile. His eyes didn't even flicker with amusement. Something was wrong.

"We'll deal with that later," he said. And the way he said it... I knew.

I set the jar down slowly. "What is it?"

Cassian stiffened sensing the shift before a word was spoken.

Azriel's shadows curled tighter, as if trying to shield me. "My spies have confirmed it. Beron knows you're here."

The words hit like a cold wind.

I blinked. "How... how does he know?" My hand went instinctively to my stomach, a weak, protective gesture that did nothing to slow the rising dread.

Azriel shook his head, guilt written in the tight line of his mouth. "We don't know how much he knows. Not yet. But he's angry. And he's not being quiet about it."

"And the baby?" My voice barely made it past my lips. "Does he know about the baby?"

Azriel's throat worked around the answer. "Not as far as we can tell."

I nodded slowly, but inside, my panic had already begun to spread. "He won't stop, Az. You know that. He will hunt me to the ends of Prythian just to drag me back."

"Then let him try," Azriel growled, stepping closer. "Let him try, and I will show him what fear tastes like."

There was a truth to his promise that made even Rhysand go still.

Our relationship, whatever fragile, blooming thing it had become wasn't just about a child anymore. Azriel wasn't shielding me out of obligation. The way he looked at me now was raw. Real. Unshakable.

This was him, his soul, his heart, laid bare and violent for me.

"You've changed things by seeking sanctuary," Rhysand finally said. His tone was calm, but behind it, the High Lord loomed. "You've forced our hand. The other courts will hear of this soon. This won't be a private matter for much longer."

"I didn't ask for sanctuary," I said, trying not to let my voice waver. "I asked for a safe place to raise my child."

Rhysand's violet eyes met mine. "And that's exactly why they will see it as a threat. Because you didn't just run—you defied a High Lord. And your father sees that as treason."

Cassian snorted, arms crossed. "Your father's a monster. He doesn't get a vote."

"I know him better than any of you," I said, my voice low. "You can't understand what he'll do when he feels cornered."

"I don't care what he'll do," Azriel said, deadly soft. "You're not going back. Ever."

I opened my mouth to say something but the baby shifted, and the jab that followed was so sharp, I let out a soft cry and bent double.

Azriel was there before I could blink. His hands steadied me, one pressed against my lower back, the other gripping my shoulder like he could anchor me to the earth. 

"What is it?" he said, panic etched into every syllable. "Is it happening? Are you—?"

"No, no," I panted, exhaling slowly through clenched teeth. "Just a kick. A really, really bad one."

Azriel still didn't move his hands, didn't stop watching my every breath like he was ready to go to war if I winced again.

Cassian, meanwhile, groaned and clutched his chest. "For the love of the Mother, I thought we were under attack."

I couldn't help it, I laughed, short and tired and real. "Your niece or nephew is practising their combat form on my organs."

Cassian knelt, placing a massive hand on my belly. "Hey, tiny terror, maybe save that for training when you're actually born?"

"Talking to my stomach again?" I teased.

"It listens better than you," he shot back with a wink.

"Let the baby bond with their favourite uncle," he added shamelessly smug.

"Like hell you are," Rhysand muttered, shoving him with his boot until Cassian flopped backwards onto the floor.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the counter, letting out a long breath. Without thinking, I set the pickle jar on top of the round swell of my belly. It balanced surprisingly well.

Cassian blinked. "Are you seriously using your stomach as a table?"

"It's convenient," I said with a shrug, grabbing a pickle and munching on it. "Built-in shelf."

He gawked, then snatched the jar away like I'd just set it on something sacred. "Don't use our baby as a table."

I arched a brow. "Our baby?"

Cassian didn't miss a beat. "Yeah."

I blinked. "As far as I'm aware, you didn't impregnate me."

He smirked, infuriatingly smug. "You'd remember if I did, darling."

That was when one of Azriel's shadows slithered out and smacked Cassian clean across the back of the head.

He yelped, almost dropping the jar. "Hey!"

Azriel didn't even look up from where he was still holding me steady.

"Serves you right," Rhysand drawled from behind the counter, his voice the picture of smug amusement. "And for the record, you are absolutely not the favourite uncle."

Cassian narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

As the two began bickering like overgrown children, Azriel gently turned me, guiding me from the mess and pressing a kiss into my temple.

His hands were warm as they slipped around me, one resting protectively over my belly. "I've got you," he whispered, brushing a kiss over my lips, gentle and grounding. "I've got both of you."

"I know," I whispered back, resting my forehead to his, letting the warmth of him seep into the places still frozen from Beron's reach.

I had already survived one court of fire. And I would not burn again.

Later that night with my feet propped comfortably on Azriel's lap, I let out a satisfied sigh as he continued rubbing slow, expert circles into my ankles. My body ached in places I didn't know existed before pregnancy, but the small comforts helped.

Across the room, Cassian and Rhysand were at it again, bickering like children over who the baby's favourite uncle would be.

"You can't buy their love," Cassian snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at Rhysand as if he'd committed a crime. "You think you can just toss a few diamonds and miniature flying ponies at them and win?"

Rhysand scoffed, lounging with predatory grace in an armchair that looked far too fine for his attitude. "Yes, thank you very much."

"You're pathetic," Cassian muttered, folding his arms. "Nepotism at its worst."

I smothered a laugh behind my hand. Azriel's fingers paused on my foot just long enough to glance at me with amusement in his shadows.

For a moment, all was well. Peaceful, even. Then a ripple of energy cracked through the room.

A winnow—unannounced.

We all sat up in an instant. Azriel's shadows leapt toward me as he moved to stand but then I saw him.

That familiar auburn hair, burning like autumn leaves caught in sunlight. And those eyes, clever, golden, lined with exhaustion I recognised far too well.

"Eris," I breathed, my voice catching in my throat.

I moved to stand, awkwardly manoeuvring the weight of eight months of pregnancy, until Azriel was beside me, steadying me with a hand on my elbow.

Eris blinked once. "You're huge."

I gaped at him, stunned. "I'm pregnant, you asshole."

A bark of laughter escaped Cassian. Rhysand raised an eyebrow.

Eris smirked, unfazed, and I shoved him in the chest lightly before wrapping my arms around him. He returned the embrace, one hand cautious at my back.

"Yes, that's what I meant," he muttered into my shoulder.

When we pulled apart, I cupped his face in my hands. His skin was colder than I remembered, paler. A fresh bruise bloomed at his jaw, half-hidden beneath that infuriatingly perfect hair.

"Mother above," I whispered, fingers brushing the discoloured skin.

He pulled away, jaw tightening. "Don't." His voice cracked. "I'm fine."

But we both knew it was a lie.

He stood stiffly beneath the weight of the three males watching him like a predator in foreign territory. The Eris they knew, or thought they knew was ruthless. Poison-tongued and loyal to a monster. Not this version, quiet, worn, and still fighting the war behind his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. The guilt in me was immediate and overwhelming. "You shouldn't have had to deal with him alone."

Eris gave me a look that said don't start. He stepped in before I could spiral.

"Stop," he said sharply. And when I opened my mouth again, his hand rose and lightly covered it. "I didn't come for that."

I blinked at him, caught off guard and he let his hand drop.

"So," I said with a forced brightness, trying to ease the tension curling in the corners of the room, "you missed me."

He exhaled through his nose, lips twitching. "Unfortunately."

I tugged him toward the couch. "Come sit before you collapse where you stand."

Eris glanced at Azriel, who hadn't stopped watching him. Then at Rhysand, who leaned back with the eerie grace of a ruler ready to strike. Cassian didn't even pretend to like him.

"Continue your fight," I snapped at them. "Don't mind us."

Reluctantly, Eris sat beside me. His posture was tight, wary. Like he wasn't sure if this was a trap. But his eyes kept drifting toward my stomach, round and impossible to ignore beneath the soft stretch of my dress.

"The last time I saw you," he said slowly, "you were barely showing."

"Well," I smiled, "they grow fast when you're being kicked from the inside out."

"Do they..." He trailed off, awkward for the first time in his life.

"Want to feel?" I asked, already reaching for his hand.

Eris hesitated but didn't pull away. His fingers were cooler than Azriel's, more callused than I remembered. I guided his hand to the top of my stomach, where I could feel fluttering movement beneath my skin.

A soft gasp escaped him. The baby kicked again, gentle but firm and Eris stilled entirely.

"Oh," he breathed. His eyes widened with something I hadn't expected to see there—wonder.

A different kind of silence filled the room, heavier but not hostile. I watched him feel the presence of a life untouched by our court's cruelty, a life born of something raw and real and finally free of Autumn's rot.

I gave him a moment. He needed it.

When he finally looked up, his face was unreadable again, his walls slotting back into place like a well-worn shield. But I still saw it, the crack that remained.

And then I asked, softly, "What's happening with Beron?"

Eris froze. His hand slipped from my stomach, settling stiffly in his lap. His eyes, once filled with reluctant tenderness, darkened instantly.

"We don't need to discuss that," he said, too quickly.

"Yes, we do," I insisted, shifting in my seat. Azriel's hand found the small of my back instantly, steadying me. "Eris, I need to know what's happening back there."

Eris gave me a hard look, the type that used to silence entire war rooms. But I didn't back down. I wasn't that girl.

"He's angry," Eris said finally, voice low. "Furious. You embarrassed him. You left. And now you're not only living, but thriving—in his eyes, flaunting your defiance in the arms of a male from the Night Court."

Azriel tensed beside me, so sharply I could feel the change in the air pressure. His shadows curled tighter around my shoulders, protective and cold.

Eris looked at him. Then at Rhysand and Cassian, who had both gone deathly still. The playful chaos from earlier was gone, replaced by razor-sharp silence.

"Let him come," Azriel said, voice like carved stone. "Let him try."

"I'm not saying this to scare you," Eris added, gaze flicking back to me. "But you need to understand—he's not just angry. He's obsessed. You made him look weak. And Beron never forgets that."

I swallowed against the rising guilt in my throat. My hands drifted instinctively to my belly.

"Maybe... maybe I can talk to him," I said quietly, the words tasting like ash in my mouth. "Maybe if I just—"

"No." Azriel's voice cut through the room like a blade. He turned to me, brows drawn in a rare show of open emotion. "Absolutely not."

"You don't know him like I do," I whispered. "He doesn't let things go."

Azriel leaned in closer, his fingers brushing mine. "I don't need to know him. I know what he's done to you. I know the bruises he left on your spirit. I know the fear you carry in your sleep."

My chest tightened, but I didn't look away.

"I can handle him," Eris said then, more quietly. "Let me deal with our father."

Something flickered in his eyes—resolve wrapped in weariness. He knew what that meant. What it might cost. But he offered it anyway.

I hated that. Hated the guilt that clawed its way up my spine.

"You shouldn't have to," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I left. I escaped. And I left you behind to deal with him alone."

Eris didn't answer immediately. He looked at me—really looked and said, "You survived. That's what matters."

He didn't say you were worth it, but I heard it in the way his eyes softened just slightly. In the way he straightened his shoulders, as if bearing the weight of Beron's fury was simply the cost of protecting what little good still existed between us.

"I should've taken you with me," I whispered.

"Someone had to stay behind and set fire to the curtains." he said, shrugging.

Despite the tightness in my throat, I let out a huff of laughter. Cassian groaned from across the room. But even the humour didn't mask the tension lingering between us all.

Rhysand finally spoke, his voice measured but grim. "If Beron moves against us, we will respond. He's threatening a child of the Night Court."

Eris glanced around the room, nodding slowly. "Then you'd better be ready."

Azriel's hand tightened around mine. I leaned against him as exhaustion began to creep in, not from the conversation, but from the weight of what it all meant.

Still, I looked at Eris, quiet and battered and too brave for his own good. "Thank you. For coming."

He inclined his head, a rare softness in his eyes. "Keep your strength, little flame. You'll need it."

And I would. For what was coming. For the war we hadn't yet named.

But in that moment, surrounded by fire and shadow, by broken males still trying to love and protect and rebuild—I knew one thing with certainty.

I wasn't facing it alone.

A/n - After seven straight parts of pure angst, this is the least I could do—cue the Batboys being overprotective and funnyyy :)

And then I went and spoiled the mood by sprinkling in a bit of Beron threatening reader's entire existence... sorry!

We're almost at the end of the story so thank you so much for sticking by so far <33

Shadow and Flame tag list - @coffeebooksrain18 @jaybbygrl @slut4acotar @justtryingtosurvive02 @mortqlprojections @sheblogs @moonlitlavenders @windblownwinston @queenoffeysand @tothestarsandwhateverend @saamanthaag3 @metaphysicaldoom @natalijassav @bookishbishhh @yourenothingbutnottome @holb32 @etsukomoonbeam @fxckmiup @i-am-infinite @megwan @cuethedepession @rinalsworld @whoreforfictionalmen18 @asahinasstuff @lilah-asteria @smol-grandpa @shinyghosteclipse @rachelnicolee @shellsarepretty @jugodeshadowsinger @landofpetrichor @sunnyspycat @pit-and-the-pen @obscure-beauty @casiiopea2 @quiettuba @thiswildandpreciouslife

[pit-and-the-pen]

“Mor led me down the avenue toward another set of stone gates, thrown open at the base of what looked to be a castle within the mountain. The official seat of the High Lord of the Night Court.”✨🌙

Welcome to Hewn City

[pit-and-the-pen]

Pretty pretty please can you write some azris x fem reader smutty angst forced proximity goodness! Azris can be established pair and then they meet reader who initially they all don’t get along buttttt they are obsesssed with her then BOOM TRIAD BOND ANGSTY PERFECTIONNNNN 🥵🥵🥵

A Missing Piece

Pairing: Azris x Reader

Summary: Eris, in a secret relationship with Azriel, seeks you out and marries you in order not to raise suspicions from his father. What happens when Autumn's High Lord discovers the truth?

WC: 2.2k words

Warnings: Angst, injuries, mention of blood, jealousy (kinda?), Eris being married but having a lover on the side (it's not cheating, not really. It's known. It's more like an arrangement), hurt/comfort

Dividers made by @tsunami-of-tears 💕

“Eris!”

You could remember as if it was yesterday, the day a winged figured male had burst through the doors of the forest house, carrying Eris—bruised and bloodied—into his arms. 

“He's my mate,” Eris rasped, before going uncouncious in the Illyrian's arms.

That was the day Beron had set a trap to Eris, having discovered his son's trickery and deciding to take matters into his own hands. He hadn't planned that Azriel and Eris would be seeing each other in Dún Èideann—Autumn's capital state—that night, despite the storm raging. Eris had only been ordered to scout for rebels, and Beron had been waiting for him instead, plotting his son's murder. 

Later, you had found out that some servants had overheard you and Eris one night, talking about the reason you had gotten married in the first place. 

You and Eris had been friends since your youth. You had always known the pressure Beron was putting on his son to find a wife, and one day, when you had questioned Eris on his hesitancy, he had confessed that he was seeing someone already, someone whom he couldn't be with, not publicly. So you had offered him your hand, making an oath to keep his secret, in exchange of being saved from getting married to some random horrible male. 

You had never expected Eris to be so kind to you throughout the years following the wedding. He had been nothing but honest about his whereabouts, though never quite entering the details about this mysterious person he was seeing. A bond forged on trust and respect had grown between the two of you, holding you together like strong and wild vines. You had found a friend in him, a partner, and he in you as well. 

Your first meeting with Azriel had been frantic, hurried, trying to save Eris from dying in his arms. You had led him to the healing quarters, and coaxed him into dropping Eris down to a cot to let the healers work on him. 

Through it all, their hands had remained joined. Azriel barely blinked, even as the healers were done tending to Eris' wounds, assuring them that he would live. He had stayed by Eris' side, some strange sort of shadows seeming to seep out of his body. 

You had stayed awkwardly, caring for Eris' well being, and curious about this mysterious winged male—quite handsome male, you must admit—sitting by his side. 

“Eris told me about you,” you said, finally breaking the silence. Azriel shot you a menacing glare, his eyes as sharp as the dagger tied to his hip. “I'm glad he has you.” 

Something shifted in his demeanor then, as if you had managed to slip through a crack in the thick armor he was wearing to protect himself. 

“What's your name?” 

The male sitting beside Eris bed tensed, his wings twitching discreetly as he seemed to ponder whether he should answer your question or not. 

“Azriel,” He answered, his voice deep and smooth like silk. He broke eye contact with you then, looking back down at Eris’ unconscious form. 

Sensing that this discussion wouldn't go further tonight, you had risen from where you sat, Eris’ mattress regaining his form. “Tell the healers to come and warn me when he'll wake up, please.” You smiled politely, watching him offer you a curt nod as an answer, then you left the two of them alone, offering some much earned privacy. 

Eris woke up days later. His face was pale—paler than usual—and his cheeks were hollowed, his bones showing up more from the carence in nutrients his body had gone through. 

Azriel had told the healers to come and get you, as per your request. Relief flooded over you at seeing Eris awake. You were glad he had made it through. 

You had stayed in the shadows, lingering by the infirmary door. You had observed the two males, watching how they interacted with each other. Eris and Azriel were like stars and planets, orbiting around the other, meant to be.

Something had stirred in your chest at the sight of it. It wasn't jealousy, no. Not exactly. More like resiliation, and the itching desire to belong there, too. The thought of being a part of it, of them, startled you at first. You had never thought possible for you to desire something like that before, of wanting two males all at once. 

Before you could make sense of the turmoil of emotions brewing in your chest, Eris' voice called your name. 

“Y/N…”

Soft, almost weak. Still raspy from not using his voice in days. It made your heart jump slightly, but you quickly tucked it away. Eris had never chosen you, he had made it clear from the start, and you had both agreed. But they did. And you knew you had to make your mind with it, because you respected Eris, and wanted his happiness more than anything in this world. 

“I'm glad you're awake,” You fidgeted with your sleeves, the lacework feeling nice and grounding between your fingers tips. 

You turned your face to Azriel, “I wanted to thank you, Azriel. For saving my… husband. For saving Eris.” You felt his gaze fall on your hands. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, you stopped your fidgeting, trying to look more confident. “Please, feel free to stay at the Forest House for as long as you need. I'll make sure not to interfere between you two.” 

You saw Eris' face drop, and guilt twisting his features. Before he could open his mouth and try to make you feel better, you raised your hand and shook your head. 

“It's… It's okay, Eris. Well… I guess. You had made it clear from the very beginning that someone else—Azriel had your heart. I just… I need time, please.” 

He tried to sit up in bed, Azriel quickly assisted him as Eris’ face contorted in pain. “Y/N, please. Let me explain-” 

“There's nothing to explain, Eris.” You smiled softly at him, taking a step back, moving toward the corridor. “Rest. Give me time. You don't have to feel bad about anything. It's okay,” You turned around, took a deep shaky sigh. “We may talk about it later, if you wish. But not now, please.” 

Eris didn't answer, didn't call you back, only watched you leave. Your footsteps echoed in the House as you walked away, leaving the two lovers together, as it should. 

Azriel, surprisingly, had stayed. You weren’t sure where Eris slept at night, since you had spent the past nights alone, in your bed. Your guess was that he had been sleeping in the Illyrian’s bed. But knowing Eris and his self-sabotaging tendencies, perhaps he had resolved to sleeping alone in the infirmary. 

Weeks went by, and you found Azriel’s presence in the forest house not as uncomfortable as you would have thought. You didn’t hate him for being Eris’ lover, nor did he seem to resent you for taking an important place for such a long time in Eris’ life while he had to stay in the shadows. 

Eventually, once the tension had seemed to fade and you had stopped avoiding Eris like the plague, you three had fallen into some kind of routine. 

The three of you would share breakfast together. The table was quiet at first, none of you dared to speak. The atmosphere in the room was frigid, but it warmed up, eventually. 

You had been the first to break the ice, asking Azriel about his life, passions, occupation. You had learned that he worked for the Night Court’ High Lord. His brother, he called him, but not by blood, by choice. 

You hadn’t managed to inquire about his blood family. It seemed to be a sensitive cord for him, much like it was for Eris. So you respected that, and moved on to something lighter. 

Eris had to go through physical therapy in the afternoon. The blow his father had thrown his way before Azriel could interfere had left damages, even on his Fae body. Now, he needed to walk with a crutch. Eris used it with grace, though, not showing one ounce of weakness. You had witnessed Azriel needing to discreetly make him slow down and rest a few times. 

One time, when Eris had been out with the healer for his therapy, you had offered Azriel to have tea with you. 

That, too, soon became part of your daily routine. 

Throughout the passing weeks, which then stretched into a whole month, the three of you had sort of settled into a domestic tranquility. 

The flicker of guilt and unsaid things between you and Eris was still palpable, though. Until one night, he decided that things needed to change.

After one quick exchange with Azriel, the shadowsinger was on his feet. 

“I feel like I have overstayed my welcome, Lady Y/N.  My High Lord needs me around, so. I shall thank you, really, for your hospitality.” 

“Oh! Well, you’re welcome to come back and stay for as long as you wish, Azriel, really. This house is probably more yours than mine anyway, as you are technically Eris’ partner while I’m just, well… me.” 

The silence fell upon the room, only the sound of your utensils scraping your plate as you moved the food around echoing. 

“Y/N…”

“Eris,” You cut him quickly while your shoulders curved inward. “It’s fine, really.”

“I… I will leave, now,” Azriel quickly said, then walked out of the room. He stopped by Eris momentarily, though, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze and placing a silent kiss to the top of his head. 

The moment Azriel had walked out of the room, Eris tried again. 

“Y/N, darling, we need to talk-”

“No, Eris. We really don’t.” You snorted, shaking your head as you tried to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “You need to let me go, Eris. It’s fine, really. I was planning to move out soon, anyway.”

“I can’t,” his voice shook, “Y/N, darling, I can't. I need you by my side.”

“What you ask is not fair, Eris. Not for me, nor you, and definitely not for Azriel.” You snapped, staring straight into his copper eyes as you spoke. 

“He needs you too, Y/N.” He was snarling now, fist clenched tight underneath the table. “Have we not made it obvious enough for you? We both need you, we want you here, in our life,” his breaths were coming in quick and rasped. 

“Don’t leave,” he whispered, eyes wet and pleading. “We want you to be part of our life, if you’ll have us.” 

He sucked in a breath, then exhaled it shakily. “Both of us,” he added, his face hard, showing no compromise would be possible. 

The massive oak clock on your left, behind Eris, ticked as the seconds passed by. 

You both looked—truly looked—at each other for the first time in over a month. A silent conversation flittered between the two of you, all the emotions resulting from weeks of repression sparkling like flashes of lightning in a storm. 

“Azriel,” you called, finally breaking the silence. “Get back here.��

Azriel, looking all sheepish, reappeared from behind one of the dining room’ alcoves. “I… I didn’t mean to snoop.”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms on your chest. You didn’t believe him for one second, and you had known he hadn’t left the room since the very beginning of this conversation. 

“Right…” Azriel bit the inside of his cheek, the action making him appear more adorable than it was fair. “What Eris told you… It’s true, all of it.”

“We talked,” he continued. “It’s not a decision we took hastily. We have talked about it. A lot.”

“I… I’m not sure when I decided that this, making you a part of us, would be something I’d want. We just fell into this routine, and everything just seemed to… fit. Like you had always been a part of our life. In some ways, you have, I think. We just didn’t… know it yet.” Azriel smiled softly, then sat on your other side. 

His next step shocked you. His hands scooped yours, his skin, scarred and imperfect, held yours. It was the first time Azriel touched you with purpose, and yet, it felt as if he had done this all his life. “I'd like us to try,” he said, his voice talking low and his face open, honest. “I think what’s going on between us three is good. It feels… comfortable. Natural.” 

You looked back at Eris with teary eyes, then back at Azriel. There was no trace of hesitation to be found on their face. They were asking you, out of everyone, to be a part of their life. They have bared themself to you, left their heart open and raw, waiting for you to do as you wished with it. 

At last, you nodded. “Okay.” You sniffled, squeezing Azriel hands tighter as you turned toward Eris. He was shaking, tears spilling on his freckled cheeks. “I’d like us to try, too.” 

Azriel pulled you off your chair and took you in his arms, and you melted. He felt strong, steady, and smelled like night-chilled mist and cedar. 

But something was missing.

You extended your hand toward Eris, a soft smile on your lips. “Both of you, Eris,” you reminded him, pulling the guilt off his skin as you reused his words. 

Eris broke down, and he started to cry. All the relief washed away from him and escaped his body all at once. 

You and Azriel moved, making your way toward Eris, and enveloped him in your warmth. 

And just like that—in this mess of emotions and rawness—something beautiful started to bloom between the three of you.

A/N: Thank you for the request! I really enjoyed writing it... smut will be in part two 👀 stay tuned!

ALSO! MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @nocasdatsgay !! Love you lots, thanks for reading through this and giving me your professional throuple advices! Honestly, if you want to read more Azris x Reader fanfictions, go take a look at her page and give her work some well-deserved appreciation. 💕

ACOTAR general taglist: @mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @acotar-lover @paige0103 @princesssunderworld

Azris taglist: @g00seg1rl @irithiadourden

[pit-and-the-pen]

Matchmaker

Azriel x reader (part 6)

Summary: The girls get ready for a night of dinner and drinks before stepping into Ritas where Y/N and the shadowsinger meet once again.

~~~~~~~

The townhouse buzzed with perfume and the chaotic swirl of dresses being flung from closet to bed. Candles flickered in the corner, their glow bouncing off the gilded mirror where Y/N stood with one hand on her hip, the other gripping a half-empty glass of wine.

She turned slowly, frowning at her reflection in the metallic gold dress she’d pulled on almost as a joke.

“Okay,” she muttered, smoothing it down, “this one might be too much.”

However, before either Selene or Y/N could decide, the front door slammed shut downstairs, followed by footsteps and a loud, “Did someone order a miracle?”

Selene poked her head over the stair rail and grinned. “Perfect timing. Upstairs, now!”

Lalia sauntered into the room a second later, wine bottle in hand and hair curled in effortless waves. She froze when she caught sight of Y/N.

“Oh damn.”

Selene nodded. “Right?”

Y/N huffed, tugging at the hem. “It’s a little... loud.”

“You are the event,” Lalia said, walking around her like an appraiser. “This dress just lets the world know.”

Selene laughed and flopped onto the bed. “That’s exactly what I said. She’s pretending she doesn’t want to look hot.”

“I don’t want to look desperate,” Y/N protested.

“You don’t,” Lalia said firmly.

She then raised a brow and poured herself a glass from the open bottle on the vanity. “So who is the mystery male? This look screams ‘I hope he walks in and chokes on his tongue.’”

Y/N hesitated.

Finally, she glanced at her and said, “Azriel. Do you know him?”

Lalia choked mid-sip.

Selene blinked. “That was fast.”

Lalia cleared her throat, fanning herself. “The Azriel? As in… the Shadowsinger?”

Y/N blinked. “You do know him?”

“I mean, not biblically,” Lalia said, settling into the chair with a mischievous smirk. “But I’ve met him. Once. Twice. A few times.”

Y/N crossed her arms. “And?”

“He’s terrifying, terrifyingly hot,” Lalia said lightly. “And quiet. And sexy in a way that makes me nervous. Shadows always everywhere, jaw so sharp you could use it to cut fabric.”

Selene groaned. “Y/N, you have a type.”

Lalia pointed with her wine glass. “Also, I sew. I notice good tailoring. That male wears knives and shadows like accessories.”

“You sew everything?” Y/N asked, surprised.

Lalia shrugged. “My dad was a stone mason. I used to stitch his clothes back together after work every week. Tore them up hauling bricks, carving marble. I got good at it. Dresses were just... fun. And less bloody.”

Y/N smiled, some of her nerves slipping away. “That’s really sweet.”

Selene grinned. “You are magic girl.”

Lalia raised her glass. “You two make me blush.”

They all laughed.

Y/N turned back to the mirror, letting her hands drift down the golden mesh. It clung perfectly, shimmered.

Maybe she was the event.

~~~

The rooftop restaurant sparkled like a hidden jewel above the streets of Velaris. Golden lights strung overhead bathed the table in warmth. The Sidra shimmered in the distance, and beyond it—the House of Wind loomed against the night sky. They had the perfect view from their table near the edge: Rita’s, buzzing just across the street, its line already stretching down the block.

Y/N sipped a cocktail as she leaned back in her chair, her golden dress catching the light as she crossed her legs.

“Honestly,” Lalia said, stretching out beside her with a drink of her own, “I forgot what it felt like to get dressed up just for the hell of it.”

Selene grinned. “Speak for yourself. I get dressed up to buy bread.”

“You’ve been quiet,” Lalia said, eyeing her over the rim of her glass. “Thinking about your shadowy male?”

Y/N rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it.

“I mean, you did pick a dress that could give someone a stroke,” Selene added helpfully.

Y/N laughed. “It’s not about him.”

Lalia raised a brow.

Y/N gave her a look. “Okay, it’s not just about him.”

Selene leaned in. “If he doesn’t try to climb you like a mountain by midnight, he might be broken.”

“Maybe I’m the one who wants to climb,” Y/N muttered, then immediately covered her face.

Selene choked on her drink.

“Finally!” Lalia laughed, fanning herself.

Their conversation then dissolved into the usual chaos—giggling over awkward encounters, rating the outfits of everyone who walked by.

Lalia launched into a story about a healer with a thigh tattoo and terrible taste in poetry.

Then—

A ripple of laughter rose from the street below.

Selene paused mid-sip.

Y/N turned her head casually, like she hadn’t just felt something shift.

There, across the cobbled way—walking toward Rita’s—was the Inner Circle. Mor led the group, Feyre and Rhysand walked behind her, hand in hand, utterly in their own world. Amren glided like a dagger.

And trailing behind, laughing, shoving at Cassian—

Azriel.

Y/N’s breath caught.

He looked…carefree.

Smiling wide as Cassian bumped into him, shadows trailing lazily behind them.

He looked happy.

They watched as the group vanished into Rita’s, swallowed by the red glow of the entrance and the hum of music.

The silence between the girls was brief—and then Selene raised her glass.

“Well,” she said, smirking. “The night is just getting started.”

“To climbing,” Lalia added.

Y/N groaned, but lifted her glass.

“To being the ones they never see coming.”

And they drank—laughing and ready for trouble.

~~~

The rooftop bar had been a dream.

But several drinks later—after shrieking laughter, dramatic posing, and Selene’s endless teasing—they finally stumbled down the spiral stairs and spilled into the press of Velaris’ nightlife.

Rita’s pulsed just across the street. Already packed. Already wild.

The three of them wove through the crowd with the grace only intoxicated women in heels could pull off; and finally made it to the bar, yelling over the music to order drinks—something fruity.

Y/N leaned against the bar, trying to keep her breathing even, her fingers tight around her glass. “This is such a bad idea,” she muttered, cheeks already warm.

Selene grinned, sipping. “You’re only saying that because your favorite brooding male is somewhere in here.”

“I’m not nervous,” Y/N lied.

“You are downing that drink like it’s the only thing keeping you alive,” Lalia added, eyebrow arched.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “It is.”

Selene clinked her glass against hers. “Come on. Let’s dance. Shake the nerves out—pretend he’s not even here.”

They pulled her into the tide of bodies, into the music that rolled and throbbed like a heartbeat.

It started slow. A sway of hips, fingers still clutched around sweating glasses. Then the drinks and the beat did what they were meant to.

Y/N let herself be swept into it.

They twirled again, breathless and glowing. Y/N tipped her head back, hair falling away from her face, caught in the lights. She laughed into the dark, into the pulse of it all.

And for a while, it was enough.

But, eventually her breath caught in her chest, lungs burning, the heat making her dizzy.

“I need a break,” she shouted over the music, touching Selene’s arm.

She slipped through the crowd toward the bar, weaving past couples and laughing strangers, her fingers already reaching for the counter. The bartender spotted her and nodded. She leaned on one elbow, finally catching her breath and scanned the room around her.

Across the room, she spotted the Inner Circle lounging in their booth. Cassian had one boot propped on the seat beside him, animatedly telling a story. Feyre and Rhys were curled together, eyes locked. Mor laughed, head tipped back.

And Azriel.

He sat relaxed against the cushions, one arm draped across the back of the booth, the other resting on his thigh. Shadows curled around him like lazy cats, content and slow, stroking the air with a familiar sort of hunger. He looked so at ease, so effortlessly untouchable—like he belonged in every corner of the room, without even trying.

Y/N’s gaze softened immediately, drawn to him as if by instinct. As if the room had tilted toward him and her feet had merely followed.

Her chest ached with something she didn’t quite have a name for.

Gods, how she wished she were there. Tucked under his arm like Feyre was with Rhys, legs draped across his lap, his chin resting in her hair. She imagined leaning her head back, letting his deep, quiet voice murmur something into her ear. Letting those scarred hands trail up her thigh beneath the table, like they did in quieter moments—moments only they knew.

She swallowed thickly.

Maybe it was time.

Maybe it was time she walked over there. Closed the distance. Claimed what was already hers.

She imagined herself moving toward him now, slipping between the crowded bodies, past the booth, up to where he sat. She’d smile, let him see it in her eyes—that she’d worn this dress for him, that she had waited for him. She’d climb into his lap without hesitation, feel those strong arms wind around her waist, the way they always did. She’d wrap her arms around his neck, press her mouth to the edge of his jaw and whisper—

But the image cracked.

Because her arms wouldn’t be around him.

They couldn’t be.

Because someone was already there.

She hadn’t noticed the woman at first—she blended too well, like she’d always been meant to be part of that table. Elegant and polished. Doe eyes, soft brown curls, a dress that shimmered like gossamer. Her body tilted subtly toward Azriel. And her hand...

Her hand rested lightly on Azriel’s forearm, her body tilted ever so slightly toward his.

It didn’t matter that he wasn’t looking at her. That his expression hadn’t changed. That his shadows hadn’t stirred in recognition the way they always did when he felt Y/N near.

The damage had been done.

Something in Y/N’s chest tightened.

She turned quickly, facing the bar again, pulse suddenly loud in her ears. She wasn’t angry. Not at him. Not really.

But gods, she couldn’t breathe.

The woman had looked like she belonged there. Among them. At home in their world, at ease with their power and their beauty and their knowing smiles.

Y/N gripped the edge of the bar. Her dress felt too tight. Too gold. Too desperate.

You’re not like her. You never have been.

You never will be.

You don’t belong.

That awful, old voice whispered again.

She blinked hard, willing the sting behind her eyes to vanish.

“Can I buy you a drink?” a smooth voice purred beside her.

A tall male—broad-shouldered, handsome in a too-perfect way—leaned against the bar. His skin glowed under the lights, and his smile was sharp with interest.

She blinked. “Sorry, what?”

“You look like you could use one,” he said easily. “Or... maybe just a better distraction.”

She hesitated. Her heart wasn’t in it. Not really. She could still feel Azriel across the room, could still feel that lingering hand on his arm like a splinter in her skin.

But...

This was her night.

Her skin still hummed with music and magic.

And if Azriel wasn’t going to come to her—then he could watch someone else try.

So, she gave the male a small smile, lifting her drink. “I’ve already got one.”

He laughed. “How about a dance, then?”

Y/N glanced once more toward the booth—toward the shadows that she swore twitched the moment she turned her head.

Then she smiled. “Sure.”

She let the fae male take her hand and lead her back to the floor, the music rising again like a tide beneath her feet.

Her gold dress caught the lights once more, turning her into flame.

And she thought—

If anyone was going to fall tonight, it would be him.

~~~

The Inner Circle pushed through the doors, swallowed instantly by the chaos of Rita’s.

Rhysand’s arm was slung over Feyre’s shoulders, his laugh low and warm. Mor pulled Nesta in close while Cassian roared at something only he found funny.

Cassian shoved a drink into Azriel’s hand. “Try not to get too drunk tonight, brother.”

Azriel smirked and elbowed him. “Tell that to yourself.”

They made their way to their usual booth and slid into the cushions. The drinks started flowing. Familiar comfort wrapped around him: Nesta rolling her eyes, Feyre talking with her hands, Mor making them all laugh, Cassian talking shit with a grin on his face.

For awhile, Azriel felt light. Grounded. His shadows curled lazily, content to lounge in the dim light.

And then—

They snapped alert.

His spine stiffened.

A flicker of gold caught his eye. A sway.

He blinked, turning his head just slightly.

There she was.

Y/N.

She moved like sin given form, hips rolling with the beat, dress catching every stray beam of light. Her head was tipped back in laughter, hair a silken veil, arms raised above her head.

Azriel forgot how to breathe.

His shadows surged, tense and eager, reaching for her through the crowd.

His drink stayed in his hand, untouched. Forgotten.

And then—

She turned.

Like she felt it too. That heavy, crackling air. Her eyes met his.

As if time stopped.

She didn’t look surprised. She looked… sinful.

Y/N smirked and raised her glass toward him in a slow, deliberate toast. Only to turn her back on him just as quickly and melt into the music, into waiting hands, into the crowd that swallowed her whole once more.

Azriel sat frozen.

His heart beat louder than the music.

She’s here. Really here.

She smirked.

She fucking toasted him.

Azriel’s mouth curved, part feral, part wrecked.

He watched her disappear into the dancers again, hips rolling to the beat, golden fabric rising with every movement.

And it did something terrible to him.

She’s playing with me.

He downed his drink. Didn’t taste it. Didn’t care.

Elain looked up at him in question.

Cassian elbowed him again, teasing. “What’s got your shadows tied in knots?”

But, Azriel didn’t answer.

Because he already knew where this night was going. He had to let her go in Day, but she was here in his court. In his city, and he was not about to let her get away again.

She had no idea what she’d started.

Azriel didn’t hesitate. He rose from the booth in one smooth motion, ignoring the calls behind him.

He moved through the crowd like smoke, his shadows curling and tugging as if they, too, were desperate to close the distance.

But then—

He saw her again.

Near the edge of the dance floor, her arm draped around a tall male’s shoulders. The fae male was laughing—laughing—his hand dangerously low on her waist, too close to the open slit in her dress.

Azriel’s blood ran hot.

That wasn’t just any arm she had around that male’s neck.

It was his.

That hand on her hip—that belonged to him.

This jealousy. This anger. It appeared out of nowhere.

He stopped, heart thudding violently as the shadows flared outward, reacting to the storm beneath his skin. A few tendrils lashed across the floor, impatient, angry.

The male said something that made her laugh again—too close, too easy.

Azriel’s teeth clenched. His hands curled into fists at his sides.

Mine.

The thought struck so hard it left a ringing in his bones. It had to be the alcohol in him.

She was his. Not in a possessive, selfish way. But in the way souls are forged to fit only one other. In the way, from the moment he met her, he felt a sense of peace. In the way every breath he took felt shallow when she wasn’t beside him.

And someone else thought they could put their hands on her?

No.

Azriel didn’t think.

He moved.

Across the room, through bodies and music and shadowed light, his eyes never left her.

And when he reached her—when her eyes lifted and widened slightly, sensing the shift in air before she even saw him—he didn’t hesitate.

Azriel slipped between them like a blade.

He didn’t look at the male.

Didn’t need to.

His shadows did that for him—curling possessively around Y/N’s legs, her hips, one whispering up her back like it missed her.

His eyes were only for her.

“Mind if I cut in?” he asked, voice low and rough, almost dangerous with the restraint in it. Cauldron, what was wrong with him?

Y/N blinked, lips parting.

Her heart flipped at the way his shadows wrapped around her. At the look in his eyes—dark, wild, desperate.

Jealous.

Y/N opened her mouth to respond—

But she didn’t get the chance.

Azriel didn’t wait.

He tilted his head at the male, cold and deadly.

“I wasn’t asking.”

The smile fell from the male’s face. He stepped back immediately, hands raised slightly, and gave a small smile toward Y/N as he turned and disappeared into the crowd without another word.

Y/N blinked, brows lifting. “That was... dramatic.”

Azriel turned to her then, and his shadows retreated just enough to let his eyes do what they were made for — devour.

He didn’t touch her. Not yet.

She tilted her head, lips curling into a small smile.

“Hello, Shadowsinger.”

A muscle in Azriel’s jaw ticked. His eyes dropped to her mouth, then lower, a slow sweep that sent heat spiraling down her spine.

His voice was barely a breath.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

[pit-and-the-pen]

Caught Red-Handed

Based on this request.

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: In which Azriel returns home from a mission and reader is a little too excited to see him, forgetting to keep her noise down.

Warnings: Mostly fluff but there is some smut | Minors DNI | 18+ | Thigh riding | pet names (Princess) | Az being the best dad everrr

2.1k words

"I want Dadda to sing to me," My daughter whines as she snuggles deeper into her pillows, the large bed swallowing her small frame whole. I smile at the words, remembering how my mate sang our child into a slumber every night with his melodic tunes, shadows swishing around him as he did so, lulling her to sleep.

"I know my sweet," I sigh, running my hand through her long, pitch-black hair. "When is he gonna be back?" She looks up at me with a growing pout, the toddler seemed to master the art of guilt tripping perfectly.

"Tonight, you'll see him in the morning," I promise and her grin widens. "But how will I ever sleep!" She throws her arms up and I chuckle, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You need your rest or you'll be too tired to play with him in the morning," I advise and she huffs, curling into a ball and cradling her favorite bat stuffed animal to her chest.

"I'll tell you what, if you go to bed now I'll make you pancakes in the morning," I promise, and she shoots up, staring at me with eyes wide as saucers. "Pancakes!" She says excitedly and I nod. "But you've got to go to sleep now," I rule and she flops back down onto her pillows dramatically, clenching her eyes shut in an attempt to feign sleeping.

I smile at her theatrics and lean down, placing a kiss on her temple. "Goodnight Melaina," I whisper against her hair. "Night night, Mama," She murmurs back and I stand from her bed, approach the door, and give her one last look before exiting.

Azriel's been gone for a week. A long, stressful week. I hadn't realized how much he did for me until he was gone. Raising a toddler was much, much harder without him. Rhys had sent him to The Continent to make sure no wars were brewing and that everyone was somewhat at peace with Hybern off of his throne.

I still don't know why my mate was chosen, if Rhys needed to know so bad why didn't he just go? Of course, I knew the High Lord was busy, but still, the touch starve was making me grow bitter.

I was pacing the halls in anticipation for him to return I was so excited. I had been stress-cleaning all day, just to prove to him that everything went fine when he was away, I didn't want him to feel bad for doing his job. Even if some selfish part of me never wanted him to leave my side again.

Melaina hasn't stopped ranting about how excited she was for him to come home and I couldn't help but agree with her, matching the four-year-olds energy when she spoke about her father.

It felt like I stared at the balcony for hours, it was only until I was half asleep that the glass doors slid open. I sprang up like a child on the morning of their birthday, Azriel closed the doors quietly behind him and he barely got the chance to look ahead of him before I tackled the Shadow Singer, clinging to him like a tree as I wrapped my arms and legs around his neck and torso, squeezing his chest to mine. He chuckled and I couldn't believe that I had forgotten the sound of his laugh. I hold him tighter.

"Miss me?" He presumes and I pull away before peppering his face in kisses, his neck, his forehead, the tip of his nose, and just as I was about to place a kiss on his cheek he swerves and plants his lips over mine.

I melt into the familiar feeling of my mate's mouth over mine, I cup his jaw with delicate fingers as they buzz with electricity. "A week is too long," I murmur, loving the way his smile feels against my lips. "I know, Princess," He mutters, head dipping into my shoulder as I cling to him tighter as if I was afraid he might be sent away again.

"How's Laina?" He asks into my shoulder and I grin. "Hopefully asleep," I mutter as he walks us over to the couch, plopping down onto the cushions and leaving me straddling his hips. "She missed you so much," I frown, shifting so I was balanced on one of his thighs. "I missed the both of you," His strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. "I'm telling Rhys he's not allowed to send you away for that long again," I rule and he chuckles. "I don't think that's up to you, love," He hums and I roll my eyes. "Stupid High Lord and his stupid assignments,” I grumble beneath my breath, cursing out my own friend.

“You seemed to have managed just fine without me, everything looks the same,” He glanced around the house and I deflated, head dipping into his shoulder. “But everything didn’t feel the same,” I huff dramatically. “I’m so glad you’re back,” I peck up his jaw as a gentle smile blessed his features. “A week is too long, I could barely sleep,” I confess, lifting up and hovering in front of his face, the tip of my nose brushing against his.

“And I’m ovulating,” I hit his chest like it’s his fault. “So that’s why you’re so clingy, hm?” He tilts his head and I flush hot. “Shut up, you were gone, I had to resort to my own hands,” I grumble, burying my head into his shoulder again as he chuckled. “Not funny, I felt like I was single again,” I huff. “It was the worst.”

“You wanna show me how you did it?” He purrs and my cheeks flare red. I sit up on his lap, looking down at him with furrowed brows but he only gives me a reassuring look with encouraging eyes, like he was waiting for me to get myself off on him.

I swallow thickly. “Right now?” I say and he shrugs. “Didn’t you miss me?” He arched a brow and gods, he knew me too well. Knew that I’d been touch starved for an entire week and usually I wasn’t so hyper-sexual but without the usual waist touches or pecks on the cheeks I was manic, and he knew it. Knew he could tell me his dirtiest, darkest fantasy and I’d comply without any hesitation because I needed him.

“C’mon, Princess, I know it’s been a while but you can do it,” He urges and my hands come to his chest as I slowly begin rutting my hips over his, grinding onto his clothed thigh, gaining friction at the place I needed him most.

“Gods I missed you,” He confessed, a slow smile coming to his face as I rolled down onto him. I continue my movements, switching them from hesitant to fluid and languid, grinding down onto him and gasping as he flexes his thigh every now and then.

“Fuck, Az,” I tilt my head back, up to the ceiling, nails digging into his shoulders at the intense feeling, his thigh already getting me farther than my hands ever were able to. “Good,” He says, lips ghosting against the column of my throat. “So good for me, getting off on my thigh,” He hums, fingers digging into my hips as I continue my movements. “Please Az,” I clench my eyes shut. “Please, need all of you,” I beg and he smiles against my neck. “I don’t think you do, I think you can get off without me even touching you,” He croons and I whimper, looking at him with pleading eyes and furrowed brows. He only returned it with a smirk.

I pouted, making a point and pressing myself into his semi-hardened cock. He grunted lowly from the base of his throat and a knot formed in my abdomen at the sound. Moans and pleas filled the room as I begged him for more, for something. We both knew he wasn’t going to give me anything else until I found release and we also both knew I didn’t need anything else.

“Fuck m’close,” I murmur. “Already?” He tilts his head with a demeaning tone and the degradation only pushes me closer to that edge. I nod pitifully. “So needy, aren’t you?” He taunts and I dip my head again, beyond words as I pant heavily, toes curling and nails scratching down his back as I soak my panties in my arousal.

An unearthly sound escapes from the base of my throat as I find release, and it’s his name on my lips when I meet my climax, hand pulling at his hair as I slowly ride out my high, my swaying tapering off.

Then, below the pants and soft whines, I hear a familiar voice that makes the both of us freeze in our tracks.

“Mama?” My daughter calls and I flip off of Azriel in a panic, falling onto the floor with a groan as shadows swish around me, making sure I’m okay.

Our child walks out of the hallway clutching her bat-stuffed animal in her navy nightgown that brushed the floor. “Dadda!” She squealed, running right past me as I struggled to stand back up, and straight to her dad, jumping into his arms with a wide grin.

“Oh, I missed you so much Starlight,” Azriel exclaims, hugging his daughter tight to him, looking down at me with wide eyes as I collect myself.

“I missed you times one hundred!” The toddler argues and Azriel shakes his head. “I missed you times infinity,” Azriel scoffs and she pouts, her wide eyes the color of mine, always making him give in. “Okay fine, we missed each other equally,” He sighs. “But I have a feeling you were supposed to be asleep, isn’t that right?” He narrows her eyes on her as if it was an interrogation and she rolls her eyes.

“Well I was asleep, but then I heard Mama yelling your name and knew you were home!” She excused. “Why were you yelling, Mom?” She turns to me with those curious eyes. “Uh,” I look to Azriel for help but he just stared at me with the same gaze, as if he had no idea. “Cause I was just so excited to see him,” I shrug. “Then why were you on the floor?” She gestures to the ground. “Dad pushed me,” I say, pinning the blame on him. Melaina gasps and whips around to him, her hands cupping over her mouth. Azriel’s hands shoot up like he’s been caught red-handed.

“I didn’t! Mom has cooties, I had to get her away from me,” He whispered loud enough for me to hear and she gasped again, taking a wide step away from me.

I rolled my eyes at her theatrics, hands resting on my hips as I looked down at the girl. “Why don’t you go back to bed, dad will come in soon to sing to you okay?” I bend down to her height and she whines. “Hey, do you want pancakes or not?” I tilt my head and she immediately seals her lips shut. I smile. “Good, now run along,” I shoo her and she nods happily before scurrying back to her bedroom.

I sigh in relief once she’s gone, then look at Azriel with a glare. “What?” He says innocently. “Cooties? She’s going to avoid me for days,” I quietly shout at him and he mischievously grins. “It’s not my fault she woke up,” He shrugs. I grab a pillow from the couch and begin to hit him with it. “You knew she was coming didn’t you?” I continue to whack him and he puts his hands out in defense.

“It was funny!” He claims and I throw the pillow entirely at him, then plop down onto the couch in defeat. “I’ll be back,” He sings, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my forehead. I cross my arms and continue to glare at him. Still upset he let me get caught.

Without another word, he walks off down the hall to our daughter’s room.

I continue to simmer in my own exasperation, but my annoyance only lasts so long before I hear my daughters bubbling laughter from the other side of the wall. Some part of me wanted to tell my mate she was supposed to be going to sleep but, I missed the way he made her laugh, so I didn’t kill their fun, and I even let myself enjoy listening to the muffled voices of my two favorite people in the world. Our little family was finally restored.

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[pit-and-the-pen]

Matchmaker

Azriel x reader (part 5)

Summary: Reader finally makes it to Velaris for Starfall. Shopping and shadows are included. Plus, a meddling High Lord and Lady.

~~~~~~~~~

Velaris smelled like fresh rain.

Y/N stood at the edge of a narrow, flower-lined path, her eyes wide as she took in the city stretching before them in soft morning light.

The sky was blue, clouds stretched on for miles, and the Sidra glittered by them in the morning light. Sunlight caught on glass balconies and on the archways of bookstores and cafes

“Sweet Mother,” Selene breathed beside her as they walked along the cobblestones. “I think I just fell in love.”

Y/N didn’t answer, too busy drinking in every detail—the quiet, glowing warmth of the city. The birds singing from rooftop gardens. The scent of citrus bread wafting from a nearby bakery. The way every part of Velaris felt like it had been painted by a dreamer.

Their boots tapped down the path as they approached a townhouse tucked between two larger ones, its exterior covered in soft ivy and pink climbing flowers.

Selene turned with a grin. “This is the one.”

Y/N blinked. “Are you sure? This looks… like someone’s actual house.”

Selene didn’t answer—just twisted the ornate golden knob and pushed the door open.

Inside was bright and clean. Golden light spilled into the entryway from tall windows, reflecting off gleaming hardwood floors. The white walls, a staircase curling up to the second floor. It was beautiful—simple, but clearly expensive.

They both stood there for a second, looking around.

Y/N stepped in slowly, awestruck. “We’re really here.”

Selene dropped her bag with a soft thud and twirled in a circle. “I know. I can’t believe it either. Look at this place! This is nicer than any house I’ve ever stayed in. It’s like a dream!”

Y/N turned in place, trailing her fingers over a carved table set with a vase of fresh flowers. “How in the Cauldron did you make this happen?”

Selene bit her lip, eyes dancing. “I had… a little help.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “From who?”

A smug smile. “Helion.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?”

“Helion owed me a favor,” she said with a shrug, clearly enjoying this. “I mentioned your birthday. And Starfall. And how you were being annoying and mopey—”

“I was not mopey.”

“—and he wrote to Rhysand.”

Y/N just stared at her. “Rhysand. High Lord of the Night Court.”

“Yep. Apparently he was thrilled to help. Told Helion your boy has been in a mood since they got back from Day.”

“A mood?”

Selene wiggled her eyebrows. “Quote: ‘broody shadowsinger has been sighing dramatically in every meeting and scaring others with his glowering.’”

They both stared at each other for a beat.

Then collapsed into giggles.

“Does he not know I’m here?”

“Um maybe? No? I don’t think so.” Selene said.

Y/N laughed again, then looked back around the townhouse. “I still can’t believe we’re actually in Velaris.”

“Believe it,” Selene claimed, already heading toward the stairs. “Come on, we’ve got to see the rest.”

They ended up running from room to room like kids. Every few seconds one of them would yell something from across the house.

“There’s a bookshelf built into the wall! With a ladder!”

“This tub is the size of my entire apartment!”

“Fit for Illyrian wings!”

“There’s wine already in the kitchen!”

Y/N opened a window in the upstairs bedroom and leaned out, the river just barely visible in the distance. “This is insane.”

Selene flopped onto the bed. “This is awesome. Admit it.”

Y/N turned around. “It’s awesome.”

They both sat for a second, catching their breath, bags forgotten by the door.

“So what now?” Y/N asked turning towards her friend.

Selene stretched. “We relax. We drink something bubbly. You pick out a book to pretend that’s the reason you’re here. And then… we plan our outfits for Starfall.”

Y/N shook her head, still smiling. “You’re out of control.”

Selene grinned. “And you love me for it.”

Y/N let her head fall back against the cushions, a giddy grin still tugging at her lips.

She had no idea how tomorrow would go.

But for now, she was here.

In his city.

In this townhouse.

And for the first time in weeks, she felt like maybe—just maybe—the stars were on her side.

~

Later on, Selene leaned against the doorway of the townhouse, sipping from a chipped mug one of them had found in the cabinet. “So… what does one wear to Starfall?”

Y/N flopped back on the couch, arms spread out like she was about to sink into the cushions. “Something sparkly, I think. Flowing. Ethereal. But not too ethereal. Like, ‘I might vanish into the stars but only after I get three drinks and some compliments.’”

Selene snorted. “So basically, we’re going shopping.”

Y/N sighed, then nodded. “Yeah. I’m not showing up to some Night Court event in a three-year-old dress that smells like the back of my closet.”

And with that, the two decided to change and fifteen minutes later, they were out the door.

~

The streets of Velaris were already stirring. The river glinted in the distance, and the scent of bread and flowers carried on the wind. It felt like the city itself was stretching awake, alive and humming.

Y/N let her eyes drift across the buildings, the sky, the faces they passed. There was something unsettling about how right this place felt, like slipping into a memory that hadn’t actually happened yet.

She couldn’t help but let her thoughts drift to Azriel.

This is where he lives.

He gets to wake up to this.

He belongs here.

She imagined him somewhere above them, maybe on a rooftop, maybe in the House of Wind, brooding and unreadable. Wondered if he was training. Wondered if he was still chasing Nyx around. Wondered if he even knew she was here.

A tug stirred deep in her chest. She scowled at it.

“Snap out of it,” she muttered under her breath.

Selene glanced over. “You good?”

“Yeah. Just... trying to keep my brain from spiraling.”

“Classic pre-shopping jitters.”

They stopped for coffee—iced, with a splash of something fruity that neither of them could pronounce—and wandered another block before spotting it. A boutique with gold-trimmed windows, racks of shimmering gowns catching the light inside.

“Oh,” Selene said.

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed.

They walked in.

The shop was an explosion of texture and color—tulle and sequins, velvet and glass beads, gowns in every color you could imagine, drifting on enchanted racks that floated gently above the floor.

A fae woman with silver hair and sun-glow skin greeted them with an excited wave. “Welcome! I’m Laila. Are we dressing for Starfall?”

Selene grinned. “We are. We need dresses that make jaws drop.”

“Done,” Laila said immediately, turning like she already knew what they needed. “Come, come.”

She led them through the racks, pulling dresses left and right, sizing them up in two glances. She held a deep wine-colored gown up to Selene and nodded in approval before turning to Y/N.

“Okay. What color are we thinking for you?”

Y/N hesitated. “Um… blue?”

Selene snorted. “Of course.”

Y/N gave her a look but smiled. “I want to stand out. Something that… makes someone notice. From across the room.”

Laila raised her eyebrows. “Ooh, is there someone you want to stand out for?”

Y/N felt heat creep up her neck. “Maybe.”

Laila winked and vanished between the racks like a huntress on a mission. Minutes later, she reappeared with something folded over her arm.

“I think this might be the one,” she said, handing it over.

The fabric shimmered in the light—pale blue with hints of silver, delicate and sparkling like moonlit water.

Y/N stepped into the fitting room and carefully changed into the dress. It hugged her like it was made for her—shimmering, cool-toned blue with intricate beadwork that caught the light with every tiny movement. The bodice fit like a glove, dipping just enough in the front, and the skirt fell in soft waves around her feet, layered and glittering like it was made..

Made for her.

When she stepped out, both Selene and Laila turned and froze.

Selene gasped. “Okay. That’s it. That’s the one.”

Laila clapped her hands together. “Oh my gods, yes. You look like Starfall was designed just for you.”

Y/N turned toward the mirror. She barely recognized herself. Elegant, sharp, confident—but still her.

There was something about this dress—how it caught the light, how it made her feel like she could belong here, even if just for one night.

Would he notice?

Would he stop whatever he was doing if he saw her in this?

Would it undo him like he’d been undoing her?

Her heart beat a little faster. She told herself it was just the excitement.

So, she swallowed the thoughts down and focused on how the dress moved when she turned.

After awhile, they both found their dresses—Selene picked a deep emerald gown with a high slit and an open back that made her look like trouble in heels—and headed to the counter to check out.

“What should we do tonight?” Selene asked as she leaned on the counter.

“Dinner? Trouble? Dancing?”

Laila looked up. “You two need to go to Rita’s.”

Both girls looked at her.

“Rita’s?” Y/N asked.

“Yep,” Laila said, sliding their dresses into garment bags. “Best drinks in the city. Best dancing. Good chaos. If you’re up for it… I can take you.”

Selene’s eyes lit up. “We are absolutely up for it. Would you want to join us for dinner before?”

Laila giggled, “Only if there’s wine involved.”

“There’s always wine involved,” Y/N said.

So, with that, plans were made and the two girls walked out with dresses slung over shoulders like prizes.

However, a few steps out the door, Y/N slowed.

She felt it. Just barely. A wisp of something trailing along her calf like a passing breeze. Something cool and familiar and—

She spun around. Nothing.

Just the street behind them. Busy. Normal.

Selene didn’t notice, still talking.

But something had touched her. She felt it.

Y/N looked again, scanning the shadows between buildings.

Nothing.

No sign of him.

She decided to just shake it off and continued on looking at a few more shops, before deciding to head back toward their temporary home.

But her skin still tingled.

~

Azriel had just stepped into the House of Wind when Feyre intercepted him like she’d been waiting for the sound of his boots on stone.

He paused, wings still slightly unfurled, the weight of travel clinging to him like mud. “I just got back.”

“I know,” Feyre said, her smile far too sweet. “But I need a favor.”

He exhaled, already regretting walking through the front door. “Rhys is in the next room.”

“Busy with Nyx,” she answered quickly. “You’re the only one who can help me right now.”

Azriel’s eyes narrowed. “Feyre.”

She held up both hands in defense. “It’s a simple errand. I swear. Just—pick up my Starfall dress. The boutique is on the main strip in town, near the coffeehouse with the painted windows.”

“You’re sending me to pick up your gown,” he said flatly.

““They’ll only hand it over to family,” she added with a shrug. “And Cassian’s still in Windhaven. So it has to be you.”

“Your sisters? You?”

“Um they are busy getting their own things for tomorrow and well I have this thing.” Feyre said.

“You’re manipulating me.”

“I’m asking nicely. Pretty please?” She clasped her hands and gave him the wide-eyed, over-the-top expression Nyx had clearly inherited. “You’re already dressed. You won’t even need to stay long.”

He rubbed a hand down his face. His wings ached. His shoulders felt like stone. He wanted two hours in silence and a hot bath, but instead—

“Fine.”

She clapped her hands, victorious. “Thank you! Name of the shop’s on the entry table.”

He turned to leave and heard her voice again, too casual.

“Oh—and maybe grab a coffee while you’re down there. I hear it’s busy today. Lots of newcomers for Starfall.”

He looked back at her, but she was already walking away quickly, humming.

Suspicious.

But whatever. He just wanted to get it over with.

So he flew again.

The drop from the House to the city was smooth, the wind cool against his face, but his shadows stirred oddly around him—too quick, too restless.

They twitched around him, stirring like restless birds, brushing over his shoulders and circling his ankles. The closer he got to the heart of the city, the more erratic they became.

“What’s gotten into you?” he muttered, pulling them back in tight once he landed.

They didn’t answer. One slid forward again, darting ahead into the city. Another followed, and when he tried to yank them back, one resisted completely.

Azriel frowned.

He adjusted his path, scanning the streets. The square was packed with mid-morning foot traffic—fae lingering at flower stalls, children running, others laughing over pastries at café tables.

He was too busy dodging the running children when he heard it.

A laugh.

Bright. Real. Familiar in a way that made him go still.

And something in his chest went still.

He turned just in time to see a figure ahead of him—brown hair caught in the wind, laughing with another woman as they moved through the crowd.

One of his shadows reached out—sliding along the cobblestones and up, curling around her ankle like it was drawn to her by instinct.

Azriel’s chest tightened.

He knew that sound.

That hair. He had his hand curled in it weeks ago.

But, it couldn’t be her. She wasn’t supposed to be in Velaris. No one said anything. Rhys would’ve told him. Feyre—

He pushed forward through the crowd, trying to get a better look. The wind shifted. Her profile turned—only for a second—but he couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t be sure.

“Excuse me,” he muttered as a group of people walked in front of him.

Yet, by the time he cleared the group, she was gone. Vanished between two side streets or ducked into a shop, he couldn’t tell. All he had was the ghost of a laugh and the weight in his gut that said he’d missed something.

Soon, his shadows slithered back to him one by one, swirling around his boots like smoke curling low over water.

Then one of them whispered, clear as anything.

Here.

Azriel’s brows pulled together. “Who?���

The shadows didn’t elaborate. They only repeated it again. Here. Finally.

His throat dried out.

He didn’t let himself believe it. Couldn’t afford to. Not until he saw her with his own eyes.

Azriel stared at nothing for a long beat. Then shook his head.

“Too long without sleep. I’m seeing things,” he muttered, stepping toward the boutique’s door.

The bell above it chimed as he walked in, the warmth and sparkle of the shop immediately hitting his senses.

But even as Laila greeted him with a surprised smile and went to retrieve Feyre’s dress, his mind wasn’t on the dress.

It was on that laugh.

And the shadow that had disobeyed him.

And the whisper that still echoed in the back of his head like prophecy.

Here.

A/N: just a lil teaser before we get into the love;) what could possibly go wrong when you throw alcohol, dancing, Ritas, and of course the inner circle together the night before starfall.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Action!

Pairing: Azriel x Nesta x reader | WC: 3.4k | warnings: oral (f!receiving, m!receiving, everyone’s mouths are everywhere), piv, bondage, dildos, bossy Nesta, going to Paris

Summary: Having two mates is a dream come true for smutty book lover Nesta Archeron. There is nothing she enjoys more than having them reenact her favorite scenes, even if she is a picky audience.

Author’s note: um I don’t really know if the mechanics of the sex toy mentioned are possible but why can’t prythian have multitool dildos idk why not who cares anyway this is for you anon!!

“Azriel - take off her pants.”

Laying on your shared bed, Azriel’s warm body was on top of yours, his legs caging yours together. Hazel eyes full of desire looked down at you, debating if he should listen to the command or do as he wanted. A shadow slithered up to your elbow, sending goosebumps up your arms.

You recognized the moment in his eyes he decided to listen, groaning at the loss of his heat as he pulled off of you. His hands tugged at the waistband of your pants, sliding them down your legs as instructed, purple panties meeting the air.

Everything about this was at Nesta’s direction, even down to the clothes you wore. Azriel pinned you beneath him with his lusty gaze, waiting for further instructions, unphased by your whining.

“Now slowly slide your hands up her legs before settling your mouth on her.”

He did exactly as she instructed while you wiggled and whined beneath him. Pages rustled in the corner Nesta was occupying, a book laid out in front of her with a cover depicting a large orc and a swooning female. They all seemed the same to you, but she found great pleasure in having a live performance, and the two of you were keen to make her happy.

Azriel’s hands were cold as they slid up your legs, stretching the simple task out as long as he could. You couldn’t help the shivers that went up your spine, hopeful that Nesta didn’t notice your off script action.

“Hold her hips down and lick through her underwear, Az. I want her panting with need.” Her bossy tone nearly had you moaning already as Azriel’s hands did as she asked, pinning your hips in place. His tongue slid up your inner thigh, stopping contact with your skin at your panty line before resuming his crawl over your clothed cunt.

You bucked your hips up, desperate to wrap your legs around his face, but his hands kept you in place. His tongue moved expertly through your folds despite the cloth, knowing every spot that made your toes curl.

The shadowsinger was an eager actor, taking Nesta’s direction as if it were an assignment. He wasn’t always like this, his mood usually dominated what role he wanted to play.

It seemed today he was happy to indulge Nesta with whatever she wanted.

“Now take your pants off, Az. Dove, I want you to say, “you’re so big” when you see it.”

One of Nesta’s favorite bedroom activities was directing the two of you into a scene, telling you what to do and what to say. Depending on her whims of the day, sometimes she’d recreate scenes from books to what she thought should have happened or how she would insert herself.

One of her other favorites was tying up you or Azriel and acting out the scenes on the other one, forcing the tied up one to watch. She was always in control and it sent both of your heads spinning to hand it over to her.

Azriel’s pants slid down his hips, his large, hard cock popping out. You moaned at the sight, shutting your mouth quickly at Nesta’s disappointed sigh. You swallowed down her disappointment, trying for a lusty voice.

“You’re so big, Az,” you breathed out. No matter how many times you had seen it, it was still true. The sight of it still left you surprised you could fit all of it inside you.

“No - try again. More like a breathy virgin instead of whatever that was.” Nesta’s tone was annoyed, and you knew you only had one chance to fix it. She wasn’t exactly an accommodating director.

“You’re so big, Az,” you repeated, putting the emphasis on so. Nesta sat in silence, her mouth quirked as she watched, debating on if your performance was good enough. You couldn’t look at her, only watching Azriel stand over you, waiting for his next direction.

“Az, come sit in my chair. You may touch yourself.”

Your body ran cold at her words. You stilled as Azriel got off of you, half considering clinging to him to hold on. Whenever one of you failed her scenes, she was downright cruel.

“Nes, I’m sorry, we can do it again. I’ll be better.”

She tsked as she stood, making a big show of giving Azriel a big kiss before walking away. You were frozen on the bed, unsure what to do as she stopped at the chest at the end of your bed.

“Nesta, please? Let me be better.” You were squirming as she rifled through the chest, worried about what exactly she had planned for you. She made a big show of pulling out her purple harness, showing it off to you before laying it on the bed - a warning of what’s to come.

Nesta rifled through her chest some more, leaning over so you got the perfect view of her breasts. You could ignore how good she looked while in her chair, focusing your energy on Azriel, but you swallowed hard trying to tampen down your arousal. Now she stood before you in all her glory, not hidden behind pages of a book. She wore a deep black lingerie set, black lace doing little to cover her.

Nesta said nothing as she stepped into her harness, taking her time dragging the fabric up her toned legs. She attached her biggest strap to it - a bright blue glassy thing that was longer than Azriel’s cock. Nearly the size of your forearm, you had never been able to fit all of it inside of you before. You weren’t sure anyone could.

Nesta had bought it as a joke a few years ago, something the three of you drank a lot of wine while testing out, none of you able to fit more than three quarters of it inside.

Nesta crawled up the bed, your pleas of how you’ll do better falling on deaf ears as she approached you. You parted your legs automatically for her, Nesta stopping when she was right in between your thighs, her weight terrifying and thrilling above you.

Nesta was happiest when bossing the two of you around. Sometimes you and Az unintentionally took turns on who acted out, other days Nesta picked one of you as a scapegoat, wanting to get off on the power she held over you.

It made your heart race and your cunt throb.

She held your knees apart as she moved the cock through your folds, a whine coming from you at how cold it was.

“Say it.”

If you were feeling really bratty and wanted to be thrown over her knee, you could have responded with ‘it’. But today, today you wanted to be on your best behavior.

“You’re so big, Nesta.” You tried again, looking down at the cock as it picked up your arousal. You weren’t sure how she even had the thing made it was so big.

“Are you going to take all of it?”

She looked at you expectantly, but you didn’t know how far this script went. You hadn’t read the book, weren’t sure what to say.

“Yes, I will,” you nodded a bit too much, the movements of her cock dizzying. Despite its size, you wanted so badly to sink down onto it and take as much of it as you could.

“Do you really want to waste our time, hm? Look at Azriel.” Her hand grabbed your jaw, turning your head to look at the shadowsinger. His hand was slowly stroking his cock, enjoying his two mates from a distance. His face was impassive, waiting to hear what you’d say. “He was doing so well with someone who can’t take direction.”

You babbled out another apology as Nesta threw your legs over her shoulder, gently nudging the cock in. The stretch stung ever so lightly, dissipating into pleasure with each roll of her hips. Slowly she would push a bit before pulling back out, each attempt letting her go in deeper.

“You said you’d take it all.” It was stretching you out so well, you could feel yourself dripping onto the sheets. Nesta’s arousal was so strong it clung to your nose, acting as an aphrodisiac.

“If you’re a liar,” she said, thrusting in again, making it to halfway before pulling out, “you’ll just have to sit in the chair with this between your legs until you can prove it.”

Your thrusts grew more erratic at her words, despite knowing you were close to how much you could take. Her cock was filling you up and there really was no more room.

“And what will you do?”

She laughed at your question and if you weren’t so lost in your neediness you might have shrank back.

“Oh, Azriel and I will have a very fun time in this bed while you watch.” You thrashed beneath her, but she pinned your hips down, the fill of the cock almost too much and you weren’t even three quarters of the way.

“You’ll just have to sit and watch Azriel get rewarded time and time again while you struggle to fit it in.”

“I can do it,” your voice was strained, struggling as Nesta thrusted in again, her hips halting at your words.

“Let’s see where you are.” Her hand slowly slid down your thigh, stopping when she reached your clit. Her finger moved through your folds as she held the strap in place. You whined, grinding up and down on the cock to create more friction, growing frustrated with each second she didn’t move. Her fingers trailed down, wrapping around the visible part of her cock.

“There’s still about four more inches.”

You whined at her words, certain she must be wrong. You couldn’t handle even one more inch, let alone four - something she knew by the glint in her eye.

“Azriel, come collect her.” She slipped her cock out of you, ignoring your whine before sliding off the bed to pull her cock off the harness and exchanging the base of it for something that will suction.

“No, no, Nesta please.” You begged, hoping she’d come back. You were so close, you needed her to come back. Azriel stood from the chair, his hard cock up against his stomach as he made his way to you, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up from the bed with ease. You were wild with need and desperate to please her, but nothing you said was making its way through to her.

“I’ve changed my mind.” You perked up in Azriel’s arms, waiting to hear the rest, too lost in your lustful haze to pick up on her wicked smile. “You’ll be on the floor instead of the chair.”

You whined in Azriel’s arms, your mate not letting go as she suctioned the cock to the floor, testing it to make sure it’d stay in place. Azriel began to deposit you on the floor above the cock, stopping at Nesta’s raised hand.

“Wait a minute.” Nesta held up a hand before curling it around your throat as she stood behind you. “Lick it. Taste yourself on it.”

The shadowsinger put you on the floor, your knees thudding on the hard floor. You slowly bent down and stuck your tongue out, tasting yourself on the cock as they watched you. You felt their eyes on you, felt their arousal through the bonds in your chest.

Nesta’s nails dug into your hips, lifting them up into the air, giving both of them the perfect view of the slick arousal down your thighs. Nesta took the opportunity to press her hand against your cunt, her flat palm reigniting the heat in your belly as you stroked the cock with your tongue. You grinded against her hand, desperate for any kind of stimulation, but she only kept it in place.

“Put it in your mouth.”

You did as she said, wrapping your mouth around the toy. At your obedience, she stuck a finger between your folds, eliciting a low moan from you. You pushed back against her fingers, begging for more friction she surprisingly gave to you. You moaned around the cock as she sped up and slipped one of her fingers inside of you.

“I don’t think you can handle the whole thing.”

You put your mouth down further on the cock as if to prove to her you could take it. She stuck a second finger inside you, the other gently squeezing your hips back onto her hand.

Her fingers were magic, pushing in just the right spot. You knew she was getting off on watching you taste herself on her cock, but you didn’t care. It felt too good to stop.

You felt your orgasm coiling in your belly, just another minute of her touch would be all you needed. Before you could finish, she pulled her hand away, leaving you humping the air, desperate for her touch. She laughed, something cruel that had you tingling with embarrassment and arousal.

“Azriel, she’s going to sit on that cock while I ride you. Once she gets settled on it, can you use your shadows to keep her there?”

You pouted until one of the shadows pinched your left breast. It seemed even they listened to Nesta’s demanding bedroom tones.

You did as she said and sat onto the cock, the stretch a bit easier, but still coming up short. Your ankles locked into place as shadows held you down, a few twining around your wrists and holding them behind your back. Nesta looked at you approvingly as she climbed onto the bed, a wicked grin on her face.

“Perfect.”

You whined and ground down onto the cock, trying to bite down the moan fighting its way up your throat. Nesta oriented their bodies so their heads were facing you, able to watch you struggle while they fucked.

It was torture watching Nesta kiss him, her nails lightly digging into his neck as she ground onto his hips. The two together were so perfect, you had gotten off on just watching them on several occasions.

Held in place, you moved up and down on the cock, enjoying the show your mates were putting on. The shadows held you in place, but a few helped move your hips up and down and one even began nipping at your neck.

You glared at Azriel, the both of you aware of what he was doing, but he kept his eyes on Nesta. Azriel’s hands were gripping Nesta’s ass, slamming down onto his cock, thrusting up to meet her. The pair ignored you, too lost in each other to pay your moans any mind. You didn’t know how long it had been until Nesta finally peeled her lips off of his, raising her face just enough for you to see her eyes.

“What do you think, Az? Think we should let her join us?” The shadowsinger moaned, lifting up to kiss Nesta’s neck and down to her chest. One of the shadows hid in the valley beneath your breast, tugging at you like Azriel was doing to Nesta. “Or once we’re finished, I can keep playing with her.”

One of Azriel’s hands moved between them, fingers circling Nesta’s clit. The extra pressure made her grinding faster and sloppier, and she threw her head back in pleasure. You matched her pace, keeping the same rhythm she was, and you weren’t certain where your desire began and hers ended.

“Pin her hips down.” Azriel listened to Nesta’s command, his shadows wrapping around your hips holding you in place. You strained against them, desperate for friction, too turned on by your mates to think straight.

The shadows kept you in place as her moans grew louder. She was putting on a show, but you twitched with anticipation for each moan. You pushed against the shadows as your mate finished on top of Azriel, his hips still bucking seeking his own pleasure. Her heavy breaths filled the air but she was quick to stop Azriel’s movements.

It seemed her favor for him had run out.

She said nothing as she climbed off of him, the obscene sound of his cock falling out of her nearly making your eyes roll back. She made quick work of stepping off the bed before pointing at you, silently telling Azriel to collect you.

The shadows loosened their hold only as their master came to get you, picking you up as if you weighed nothing before waiting for Nesta’s order. You pressed your thighs together, unable to stop yourself from indulging in the scent of him.

Nesta put a new cock on, this one smaller and much more manageable. The wait was excruciating as Azriel held you in place. This had to be just as torturous for the shadowsinger, his cock hard and twitching beneath you.

Nesta pointed to the bed, eventually orienting you and Azriel back to a similar position from earlier, except you were on your hands and knees as he sat up on his knees.

Nesta’s fingers were wrapped in your hair, holding your face inches from his cock. You nearly reached out to lick the tip, just for a taste of the beads of cum leaking from him. Nesta stood behind you, holding your back to her front, not giving you any wiggle room.

“Now, tell him it’s big.”

Nesta slowly slid back inside you, the smaller cock attached to her harness making your knees weak. Your mouth parted, trying to think through the pleasure, trying to remember what she said. It was so hard when all your thoughts revolved around both of them and how badly you wanted to finish.

“It’s so big, Azriel.”

Nesta pulled back out before slowly sliding back in a little deeper.

“Good. Now take him in your mouth.”

You opened for him as his cock pressed into your mouth, the sweet taste of his and Nesta’s arousal still coating it. Your grip on the sheets tightened, unsure how long you’ll last.

“Good girl.”

Nesta dug her nails into your ass, clutching at your hips, sure to leave bruises. Her praise went straight to your head, your mating bond practically singing under her praise.

“Are you going to be a good actress next time?”

Your mouth still around Azriel, your nose pressed up to his stomach, all you could say was ‘mhm.”

It was good enough for Nesta.

“Az, move with me.” The two coordinated their strokes, Azriel pushing into your mouth as Nesta pulled back. It was dizzying how good it felt. Azriel had a firm hold on your head while Nesta kept your hips in place.

“You’re taking us so well.” Their thrusts were speeding up and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold out. Waves of pleasure kept riding inside you, and you were so close you could almost taste it.

Azriel’s thrusts grew out of time with Nesta’s growing faster as his orgasm approached. Nesta wrapped one of her hands around your hips, her long finger rubbing at your clit the extra pressure you needed.

Azriel held the back of your head to his cock as he finished, his warm semen shooting down your throat. The feeling of his orgasm in your chest, along with all of Nesta’s touching, sent you over the edge, moaning around his emptying cock.

Nesta held her strap deep inside you, heightening your waves of pleasure until you tapped Azriel’s thigh with your hand. They both quickly removed themselves from you, Azriel’s hands cradling your head as you collapsed onto the bed.

You had fallen half on Azriel, both of you gasping for breath, coherent thought an untenable concept at the moment.

“Shh.” Nesta rubbed your head, gently stroking your hair as you breathed hard. Her voice was softer now, the demanding tone replaced with one full of warmth.

“I’m going to run a bath. Do you want to be alone or want us to join you?” You raised up two fingers, too tired to say anything. Nesta ran a hand up Azriel’s side, one of his wings shuddering from the action. She quickly collected you in her arms, lifting the two of you up before carrying you to the bathroom, gently rubbing your back.

“We wore her out, Az.” Azriel didn’t answer as Nesta stepped into the bath, cradling you to her chest. She strained her ears, listening for her other mate, only to hear soft breathing coming from their room. Nesta chuckled to the house as she nestled into the tub, water sloshing with her.

“I think I wore them both out.”

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[pit-and-the-pen]

Invisible String - Part 5

Part 5 is here!!! Hope you enjoy:) feedback is appreciated<3

Azriel x reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Warnings: smut!!! Toxic relationship, jealousy, sorry if there are some mistakes! English is not my first language :)

——————————-

An Autumn Court song starts playing right as you and Eris reach the dance floor. He clasps his right hand on your left, his other hand reaching across your body to your back. His fingers feel cold on your bare skin, and you feel weird, as if his hands weren’t supposed to be there. You and Eris start dancing, your feet easily following the steps. He spins you around, the smirk never leaving his face. Eris tightens his grip on you, his hand travelling just slightly lower on your back.

“Isn’t it unfair,” Eris looks at you as his words leave his sensuous mouth. “That whenever I see you, I don’t get to have you for even five minutes?”

You analyze his amber eyes, shining under the faelights. “I wasn’t aware that you were so smitten with me.” Your voice comes out sultry and Eris’ hand travels lower down your back.

You can feel a pair of eyes on you, and you know that if you turn around, you’ll find Azriel staring at you and Eris. Maybe that’s the reason you let the male bring his hand lower than you’ll ever let anyone else. Apart from the Shadowsinger.

“It amazes me how a female like you can’t seem to realize her worth.” Eris stares above your head, and you know he is looking at Az.

“Don’t mistake my politeness for friendship, Eris.” His eyes land on you again. “I’ll advise you to stay in your business and I’ll do just the same.”

Eris smirks at you once more, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “I love this fire you have in you.”

You roll your eyes, but a little smile pops up almost involuntarily. The song ends and another starts, and Eris keeps moving with you across the dance floor. His hand tightens around your torso and his fingers slightly caress your back, making you close your eyes at the feeling. For a second, there’s only the music and your dancing.

Eris spins you until he abruptly stops. Eyes still closed, you furrow your eyebrows together, until a hand that doesn’t belong to the red-head male in front of you lands on your hip. You open your eyes, but not fast enough, and darkness and shadows envelop you as Eris’ face disappears.

You land in a small room that looks like an office, and the music is now a distant sound. You turn around, and hazel eyes are staring at you angrily.

“What the fuck are you doing?! Are you out of your mind?! Do you think it’s appropriate for you to put on this nonsense show?!” The words tumble out of your mouth uncontrollably. “I swear I’m done with you and this fucking-”

In three long strides he’s right in front of you, and before you can finish your sentence, Azriel’s lips are on yours. He backs the two of you against a table, one of his hands holding your waist, the other travelling up your neck and hair, colliding with your hair piece. Azriel takes it out, your long hair falling across your back. He buries his hands on your hair, tugging slightly at it. You moan and he takes advantage of it. Both of your tongues collide and it’s a rough kiss, as if you’d both been missing the other too much. Not that either of you will ever accept it.

His hands roam down your body, landing on your ass, squeezing hard. Your hands are on his hair, tugging at his dark locks. Azriel’s hands start pulling the fabric of your dress up, exposing your long legs to the cool air. His mouth travels to the middle of your throat, biting it and making you moan. He separates from you just a little, and you jump onto the table, your dress now bunched up around your hips.

“I love this fucking dress on you.” You know it, that’s why you wore it today. “But I love it even more laying on the floor.”

You open your legs and grab his neck, bringing him close to your center. Azriel’s hands tighten on your naked thighs. “Fuck, I’ve missed this.”

He looks at your eyes, both of you stopping for just a second with the unsaid words. I’ve missed you. Suddenly, it feels too emotional, so you put your hand on his length, stroking him through his pants. Azriel’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and he lets out a string of curse words at the contact. You bit your lip, loving every second of it. He composes himself enough to kiss you again, this time slower, as if he wants to memorize every inch of your mouth. His hands travel up your thighs, until they find the band of your underwear. His knuckles caress your middle, and he moans, looking down at it.

“So wet already…” He mumbles almost for himself.

One of his fingers hook on your underwear and pull it to the side, your sex gleaming. Azriel’s eyes widen and he licks his lips. “Fuck… So beautiful.”

You blush at his words, you can’t help it, and he looks at you, his other hand cupping your cheek and giving you a soft peck. The action is so casual, you feel the emotion bubbling up on your chest. But before you can say anything, he inserts a finger, making you close your eyes and moan. Your head falls back and Azriel takes advantage of it, nipping and kissing your throat. He adds another finger and you scream.

“Fuck, Azriel, yes.” Your voice is breathless, your legs parting more.

His thumb circles your clit, making you see stars. “You like that, love?”

A moan is your only answer, and you open your eyes to see him staring down at where his fingers disappear inside of you, his lips slightly parted, his pupils so dilated there’s no hazel in his eyes.

His thumb circles your clit quickly, and you know you’re not going to last much longer. “Are you going to come just from my fingers, (Y/N)?” His other hand travels from your neck to your clothed breast, and he squeezes it roughly. “Such a good girl.”

You moan again, unable to control your pleasure. Opening your eyes, you see Azriel looking at you like you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. And you’re so close, his fingers work you quick and sharp, and you feel that familiar feeling on the bottom of your stomach, so close, so-

“(Y/N), my palace.” Your eyes go wide as Rhysand’s voice fills your head. “Now.”

Azriel abruptly stops, his brows furrowed. He removes his fingers from you, and you want to whine at the loss of contact. He looks at you, an annoyed expression on his face, and you can see him opening and closing his fist, your slickness all over his fingers. The magic of the moment is gone, replaced by something else much different. But Azriel looks at you one last time, and with a casualness that startles you, he licks the fingers that just right now were about to give you a mind-blowing orgasm.

You part your mouth and watch with hooded eyes as his tongue licks them clean. Once he’s done, he grabs your jaw with his other hand and gives you a slow kiss, almost as if saying goodbye.

“We need to leave.” Az confirms Rhysand has called for him too, and you feel satisfied to hear how breathless he is.

Azriel takes a step backwards and you jump down from the table, your dress pooling around your legs.

“You go first.” You brush the silky material and try to look around for your hair piece, avoiding his eyes.

Az gives you a court nod and disappears in between shadows and mist. Once you’re alone, you let out a long breath. Your skin is hot, your body begging for some kind of release, but you can’t waste any more time, knowing that Rhys, and probably the others, are waiting for you. Looking around the room everything is dark and your hair piece is nowhere to be seen.

Muttering a curse word, you try to comb your hair with your fingers and hope you look somewhat presentable before winnowing to Rhys’ palace, right outside his office.

When you open the door, everyone is already there. Azriel looks at you, a smug expression on his face that you ignore. Not that the other’s faces are much better. Feyre and Nesta are looking at you with concern in their eyes while Cassian and Mor are trying to suppress a teasing smile. At least Amren just looks bored. But Rhysand… He stares at you, one of his eyebrows raising slightly in silent question, and you can almost see the disappointment painted on his face. You look away, your cheeks stained with color, and you can only imagine how you look right now. Your dress is wrinkled, your eyes are probably glassy and your mouth pink and swollen. And your smell… You know they can smell Azriel on you, just as they can smell you on him. Your cheeks go hotter with embarrassment; can someone start talking already?

“What’s going on?” As if reading your mind, Azriel speaks, one of his shadows timidly reaching your hand before vanishing.

You almost sigh, because he knows you just too well, and you feel like crying, because you don’t understand what you’re doing anymore.

“Eris told us some valuable information.” Rhys’ voice takes you out of your thoughts, your brows furrowing at that. “Apparently, Beron had been quiet for some time because he was still plotting with Koschei. His plan to start a war still stands, and he wants to attack the Night Court first.”

“Beron would be stupid to attack us first, we may be weakened by the war but we are still superior than Autumn’s army.” Cassian points out, his face grave.

“He knows that.” Feyre speaks, her voice solemn, getting into her role of High Lady perfectly. “That’s why he needs Koschei. Eris believes he is planning to free the sorcerer. Apparently, Beron visited Thesan over at Dawn Court, asking about his healing abilities.”

“Koschei can be free with some healing spell?” Cassian asks.

“For Koschei to be completely free would be extremely difficult and would require an immense amount of power.” Amren’s voice is grave. “But a healing spell… A powerful one would maybe… Help, in some way.” She looks at you.

“Healing magic is… complicated.” You look down at your own hands. “It’s raw magic, it’s pure light. Pure power. That’s why there are not many of us, specially not outside of Dawn Court.”

“Why?” Nesta looks at you curiously.

“As I said, healing magic is very powerful. It can be used for its intended purpose, like Madja and I do with your wounds.” You signal to your friends. “But it can also be used for… other purposes, I guess. In Dawn Court, the healers are safe from those who want to use their magic as something more. You need to look at it as an antidote, and you need to understand the curse, the spell, as an illness.”

“So healing magic could break a curse like Koschei’s?” Now it’s Morrigan who is looking at you curiously.

“It would take time, but yes.” You sigh. “Thesan could do it, and a few of his most trusted healers, as well.”

“And you, (Y/N).” Rhysand is looking at you, his arms crossed. “You know how to do it, too.”

“You do?” Azriel takes a step towards you, his shadows covering every corner of the room and his eyes slightly wide, the only hint of surprise he will show.

“No.” At that, a wave of Rhysand’s power covers the room and you look at him. “Not entirely! I learned how to use healing magic…” You make a pause. “Differently, with Thesan. But I’ve never tried it.”

“But you know how to do it, girl.” Amren raises an eyebrow at you. “If Beron is aware of that, it’s possible that he’s looking for you.”

“But that’s stupid.” Nesta chimes in. “Why would Beron go after (Y/N), knowing that we could easily defuse his advances, knowing that she is a trained warrior, when he could just go find someone at Dawn Court?”

“Because in coming here and taking (Y/N), he forces us to attack.” Feyre raises her chin. “And that would be his excuse to declare a war.”

Your head is spinning now. Beron wants to use you to go to war with your Court?

“(Y/N), if it’s fine with you, we would want you to move to the House of Wind. It’s where you’ll be safer. Plus, Cassian and Nesta will be there. And Azriel.” Rhys says the last part with caution, looking in between both of you.

“Eris didn’t know, but he’s sure that if Beron plans to attack, he will count on him, so he’ll be able to warn us.” Feyre gives you a small smile.

“Are we really trusting Eris?” Azriel’s voice sounds much closer, and you look up to see he is now behind you, his arm brushing your shoulder.

“We don’t have much choice, and so far he hasn’t given us fake information, so yes, we are trusting Eris.” Rhysand emphasizes the “we”, staring directly at Azriel with warning.

“It’s okay, I’ve been training my whole life.” You try to diffuse the tension in between Az and your High Lord. “We’ll crush them, if they even decide to come.”

—————————

Azriel winnows you, Cassian and Nesta right outside the House of Wind and he quickly grabs you by the back of your knees and your back so he can carry you up to the Veranda. Cassian does the same with Nesta, and both Illyrians land at the same time. You get off Azriel quickly, trying to avoid him as much as possible, something that becomes quite difficult when you mumble something about settling in and he follows you up to your new room.

The space is big and cozy, with a bathroom attached and a bed big enough for five people to sleep peacefully. You push the door but a foot stops it right as it’s about to close. Azriel opens it easily with a hand and leans against the door frame. Arms crossed, he looks at you, and you swear you see worry passing through his eyes. But it quickly fades away into something else. Something darker.

“I think we have some… unresolved business.” Azriel licks his lips and tries and fails to stop his smirk.

You look at his mouth, his beautiful and open face. You love seeing him like this, so different from his usual quiet self. He only lets his brooding façade crumble when he’s around you, only lets his guard down for you. Something warm pools at the bottom of your stomach at the thought.

“I’d much rather take a bath and get settled in.” Your voice is raspy and the smell of his arousal envelopes you like a warm blanket.

“I like the idea of taking a bath.” He takes a step forward and you take one back.

“A bath alone, by myself.” Your hands are sweaty and, gods, why do you have to be so nervous around him? You’ve done this a thousand times.

“I also really like the idea of seeing you taking a bath.” You can see the amusement glinting in his eyes. He has always loved teasing you.

You take a deep breath and look at him. Really look at him. If you have to live together now, you need to start putting some distance in between you and Azriel, or you won’t make it out alive. You walk slowly towards him, and you can see Azriel watching your every movement. You stop in front of him, look up into his eyes.

“We live together now.” He hums at your affirmation, and the hairs at the back of your neck raise. “I think it would be wiser if we stopped doing… this.” You point to the both of you.

Azriel just raises an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth quirking up. You reach out your hand in between your bodies. “Let’s just be friends.”

“Friends?” Azriel sounds sceptical.

“Friends.” You nod, but add quickly. “Normal friends, not friends with benefits shit.”

Now Azriel fully smirks, but shrugs his shoulders. “Fine, friends.”

He shakes your hand, and you swear something electric passes in between both of you, but you ignore it. Azriel tugs at your hand, and your body collides with him with the unexpected movement. He lowers his head until his mouth is right next to your ear, his breath fanning over your neck.

“I’m looking forward to when you finally come to me.” You can feel the smirk on his voice.

A little breath escapes your mouth at his words, and he separates himself from you. He walks to the door, leaving you all hot and bothered. He turns around one last time.

“Let’s see how good we are at being friends.” And then he’s gone. You’re definitely in for some interesting weeks.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Invisible String - Part 3

So… it’s pretty obvious that this has become a series. Hope you enjoy our little toxic dumbasses!

Azriel x reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Warnings: angst, cursing, toxic relationship, smutty talk

“I can’t believe he said that to you” Nesta sits next to you on the couch, talking to you with that deadly calm voice she always uses when something is not sitting right with her. “I’m going to kick his ass next time I see him.”

“We can kick his ass together.” Mor says from her spot on the floor.

“Not necessary, girls.” You watch them roll their eyes at you at the same time. “Besides, it’s not like we haven’t said worse things to one another…”

“But (Y/N),” Feyre interjects from her spot at the armchair in front of you. “Saying that he thinks about you when he’s hooking up with other girls is, like, really bad.”

Nesta and Mor nod at that and you look at them. It’s not common for the sisters to be together sharing an intimate space such as the library at the House of Wind. Nesta and Feyre are civil now, even friendly most of the time. And they will always come to you if you call. That is why you love them so much, as well as Mor, who you’ve known for the longest time.

“I don’t know…” You rub your temples.

Yesterday Azriel dropped you that bomb and, luckily, today he was sent away on some mission. The bad thing? He has gone to the Spring Court, where Lucien resides now with her. Elain. “Has Rhys heard anything from him at all?”

“Last he heard he was about to enter the Spring Court, so he’s probably there talking with Lucien and Elain.” Feyre says cautiously.

“Great.”

“What happened between you two, anyway?” Nesta has never been one to dance over a subject. “Cass always says that you and Azriel were basically attached at the hip.”

You feel your lungs constrict at her words, because it’s true. Azriel was your partner in crime, the first person you always looked for in a room, the one that you wanted comfort from, who you could show everything within you, the good, the bad and the ugly, because you knew he would never judge you.

“When Rhys was Under the Mountain, it was hard here.” You sigh and Feyre gets up to sit by your side, a hand on your shoulder that you appreciate. “A lot of stuff happened, we blamed each other, but we also felt guilty for the situation. I don’t know. I guess we didn’t know how to process it.” You look at Mor and she gives you a little smile. She understands how it was better than anyone else.

Your throat closes and you feel almost dizzy remembering those days. Feyre puts and arm around your shoulders and Nesta grabs your hand. Mor gets up to sit on the floor again right in front of you, both her hands resting on your legs. You look at your friends and thank the gods for bringing them to you and understanding you so well. Because whatever it is you are doing with Azriel, you know it makes no sense. And it pains you to see how things ended after everything you went through with him.

“(Y/N), we love you, all of us.” Feyre mumbles and squeezes your shoulders. “But this thing you have going on with Az… It’s hurting you more than making you any good.”

“I know…” You whisper. How is it possible that something that was so beautiful turns into this ugly and complicated situation?

You flip the pages of a book you can’t even name mindlessly. Where is he? It’s already so late, he should have arrived already. The meeting with Cassian had probably ended hours ago, and he promised you that today you would have dinner together. But now it’s already nighttime, the food is cold on the table of the living room and you feel like crying. It’s not the first time Azriel has disappeared and completely ditched you. In fact, it has become something so usual that even Mor asked if you’d like for her to come and have dinner with you, because, deep down, she knew Azriel would not appear today.

Your heart beats fast and you feel the book slipping from your sweaty hands. What is he doing? Is he with someone else? Before you can overthink more, the door from your little apartment in Velaris opens and you hear steps walking in slowly. His smell envelopes you, like rain and wind, and you feel tears prickle at your eyes. Azriel appears at the threshold of your shared bedroom. You drop the book and sit up on the bed, wait for him to say something, to apologize, but he just stares blankly at you.

“Are you drunk?” Your voice is high and it seems to wake him up of some trance.

“No.” Lie. You can smell the alcohol now that he’s closer.

“Where were you?”

“Out.”

You purse your lips. Is this how your relationship will be forever? You have had your ups and downs with Azriel, but for the last three years, it seems like a constant fight.

“Out with who?”

“Out with Cass.” His tone changes to annoyed, and you can see he fights not to roll his eyes at you. “After the meeting we went and had dinner, and we grabbed some drinks. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I was hoping it was, taking into account that you skipped the dinner that you promised me to go grab some drinks with your friend.” Annoyance fills your voice and now Azriel does roll his eyes at you.

“Let’s not do this, please.”

“Do what, Azriel?” You get up now, pacing around the room, too nervous to stay still. “You know how many times I’ve been here, alone, waiting for you to finally show up? How many nights I’ve spent asking myself where were you? I’m tired of this shit, I can’t do this anymore.” Your eyes fill with tears at the words coming from your mouth.

“What do you want me to say, (Y/N)?” Azriel’s voice sounds weird, annoyed, mad, sad. “I’m sorry, okay?! But it’s been almost 50 years. 50 years without Rhys and I don’t know what to do. Fuck! I hoped by now we would have rescued him back, but he’s not here and all of us are trying to fucking rule this city in the shadows and it’s just tiring. I just want to leave.”

“You want to leave me?”

“I want to leave everything.” He runs his hands down his hair and a single tear drops from your eye. “I can’t do this anymore, (Y/N).” He walks towards you and grabs your face. “I love you, you know I do. But…”

“But what, Azriel?” The tears are now freely running down your face, and Azriel tries to wipe them with his thumbs.

“I don’t think I know how to be with you.”

You feel like you might be drowning, because your relationship has been complicated, but Azriel has never said he wanted to give up on it.

“Why?” Your voice is low and you hate how pathetic you sound.

“I just…” He drops his hands from your face, looks down. “This isn’t working anymore. I love you, (Y/N), I really do. But I feel like I’m falling and I don’t want to drag you down with me.”

“I can help you, Az.” Now it’s you who grabs his face, make him look at you, trying to make him remember everything you’ve gone through together. “I’ll help you, I don’t care if I have to fall with you. We’ll get up together, like we’ve always done.”

“(Y/N)…” You can see his eyes glint with tears. “I don’t want to leave you, but I have already hurt you enough, I’m so sorry.”

Azriel grabs one of your hands, kisses your palm and takes a step backwards. You want to get close to him, to grab him and not let him go, but your feet aren’t moving. He looks at you one last time, a tear rolling down his face, and then he turns around and leaves you.

 

“(Y/N)?” Mor’s voice drags you out of the painful memory, and your three friends have concerned faces.

“I’m sorry, what?” You swallow the knot in your throat.

“Are you coming to tonight’s dinner?” Mor repeats softer.

Rhys has organized a dinner with everyone in the inner circle tonight, even little Nyx.

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.”

————————————

Feyre has decorated the table with flowers and candles, and the dining room from the River House looks as dazzling as ever. When you arrive, everyone is already there, Azriel included. You can’t hide your surprised expression at seeing him, you thought he wouldn’t have come back from Spring Court yet.

A loud laugh catches your attention and you smile at Nyx, his little wings flaring while Cassian throws him up and down and Nesta tries to snatch the kid from him. You laugh at the image and get close to them. Nyx sees you and gives you a big smile.

“(Y/N)!” He doesn’t pronounce your name quite well yet but you forgive him.

You grab him from Cassian and plant a big kiss on Nyx’s cheek. “What was Cass doing with you, huh? Getting himself into trouble with auntie Nes?”

Cassian laughs and grabs Nesta’s waist, who rolls her eyes but leans into him. You feel an unexpected weight on your shoulders, and a too familiar smell envelopes you. Azriel’s muscular arm is on your shoulders, which now are tense.

“Hey, Nyx.” Azriel smiles at the babe and pinches his little cheek. Nyx, of course, laughs, delighted that Azriel is giving him some attention. Kind of relatable.

You look at the side of his face, then at Nyx in your arms, and suddenly everything becomes too real, an unwanted memory resurfacing once again.

The cool breeze enters through the window and makes goosebumps appear on your skin. Tangled up with Azriel in bed, both of you naked, it’s the perfect Sunday morning. He’s got your hands intwertwined and is looking at you like you hung the moon.

“Do you want to have kids someday?” The question pops out of your mouth without much thought.

Azriel contemplates you for a few seconds. “Yes, I would like to have kids in the future.” He gives you a little smile. “As long as they look like you.”

You laugh and get closer to him, your bodies flushed.

“I would love to have a mini you running around. Except from the whole brooding thing you’ve got going on.” You tease him and he flicks your nose. You get more serious, look him in the eye. “I’m sure you’ll be a great dad, Az.”

He doesn’t answer, but you can see his eyes, grateful, loving. You kiss him slowly, as if you want to remember every inch of his mouth.

“Someday we’ll have kids. But in the meantime…” He puts you on your back and hovers above you, his majestic wings shielding you both from the real world. “We can start practicing.”

Azriel winks at you and you laugh, and that’s the last thing you see before he passionately kisses you.

A soft touch on your neck wakes you up from the memory. Cassian and Nesta are gone, Azriel is making silly faces at Nyx and his thumb is caressing the side of your neck. An almost imperceptible touch, but you feel it. Because you feel and see everything he does. Luckily, Nyx decides he wants his mom and calls for her. Feyre is there in the blink of an eye, and you give her Nyx before he starts crying.

Azriel’s arm is still on your shoulders, his thumb giving delicate strokes to your neck. You step away from him, put some distance, try to think coherently.

“How was the Spring Court?” You cross your arms over your chest. It’s just a casual question.

“Good. Flowery. Luckily Tamlin was nowhere to be seen.”

“How was Elain?” You know you’re not being exactly slick with it, but you’re past the point of caring. Azriel knows you too well anyway, always gets your intention.

“She was good. She seems happy with Lucien.”

Azriel has this serious face that you can’t decipher, and before you can continue and make it awkward for all of you, Rhys calls you to the table.

The dinner is fantastic, and you look around the table to your found family. How lucky you are. Dessert comes and then drinks, and Feyre excuses herself to go put Nyx in bed.

“We have to organize a ball in Hewn City, it’s been a while now and Keir has asked me to.” Rhys looks at the table. “We need to invite Eris.”

Cassian grunts and Azriel tenses. Mor doesn’t react.

“I think it’s the right thing.” Amren adds. “He is our ally now.”

“Barely.” Cassian mumbles and Amren gives him a cold stare.

“(Y/N) I would like for you to meet him in advance, extend the invitation yourself.” Rhys looks at you and you nod. “You can meet on the border of Hewn City, no one will care there.”

“I’m going, too.” Azriel’s voice is cold.

You look at him, so does the rest of the table. Feyre just came back and she sits next to Rhys.

“You don’t have to.” Rhys says.

“I can take care of myself.” You say at the same time.

“I know.” Azriel looks at you and then at Rhys. “Eris looks at her like she will be his next snack. I’m going with her.”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t think Eris will appreciate you being there.”

“I agree with (Y/N).” Rhys says.

“I’m sorry but it is not up for discussion. Eris may be our ally but he’s clearly not someone who we can trust. I’m going with her.” Azriel looks at Rhys, his tone leaving little to discuss.

Rhys and Azriel’s eyes turn void, Feyre’s too, and you know they are having a conversation. It doesn’t last long, suddenly their eyes are back to normal and Rhys looks at you almost apologetically.

“Okey, Azriel is going with you. You’re leaving in two days.”

[pit-and-the-pen]

If anyone is looking for an Azriel x OC fic, may I recommend: Charting the Course by atrashbearthattrashes. Please join me in showering this writer with love. This fic is so, so well written.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

I didn’t see the notification for this, apologies for the late reply!

First one is Spring Meadow. Just a fluffy little Lucien piece that was one of my first fics!

Next is a Tamlin week fic Spring Flowers, Autumn Leaves. Persephone and Hades inspired because I gotta remind people I’m a classics major somehow.

On the Tamlin wave, Wilting in My Lonely Tower, Waiting by an Open Door. My Tamlin healing series but I’m trying to write more before the I put out the next parts

I gotta show some love for my first requested fic on this blog which was Azriel and a winged reader . This was kinda the start of my Azriel era (smutty)

And last but not least, my Azriel x Rhys! Sister series, I’ll Crawl Home to Her. I want to go in a slightly different direction with it so I’m going back and changing a lot of the chapters I had pre-written so it’s still on hiatus but I’m going to finish it I pinky promise

I know my posting has been really spotty but my job is very time consuming and is creative so it takes up a lot of my brain power but I’m so thankful for being able to post on this site and the way this fandom welcomed me🥰