#if anybody misinterprets this piece i don’t like you

[thunderstomm]

eat your heart out, kim kagami

[haverdoodles]

dunno if you've discussed it but having your chronically ill character describe themselves as "a pitiful amalgamation of frail bone and flesh" feels very offensive. said as someone who is chronically ill. don't get me wrong I am all here for chronically ill characters who aren't inspiration porn but this just feels like mockery.... i hope you understand what im saying.

Hello,

Thank you for your message. My past writing is unfortunately riddled with insensitive handling of subjects that I don’t personally have experience with. This is something that I’m actively working on improving, because the last thing in the world that I want to do is hurt people through my art or writing.

I had actually addressed this on Twitter a little while ago (I will include that message here) but I don’t think I’ve posted it here yet, my apologies. In all honesty I had completely forgotten that I wrote that specific piece blurb that you mentioned until I saw your message, and I deleted that post accordingly. It was insensitively written, and while I want to say “what was I thinking?” the frank answer is that I wasn’t.

.

Here is what I shared on Twitter:

“It has come to my attention that the way I’ve been writing Te’lise – the secondary protagonist in my main Dragon Age story, who has a lifelong chronic illness - contains potentially ableist tropes.

I feel sick and horrified by the thought of my writing and stories hurting anybody, when I share them with the intent of doing anything but that. I have an unfortunate habit of going into a situation with good intentions, but ultimately fumbling it due to foolish ignorance on my part. Despite that flaw of mine, I’m determined to make this right in any way I can.

This whole time, I’ve been viewing her story solely through the lens of The Writer. I know what happens from start to finish, all of the mistakes and trials and tribulations that my characters go through, and all of their development. I know how (currently) Te’lise’s arc is supposed to be one of gradual self-acceptance and self-love. But you, as the readers, are only able to view the bits and pieces I provide, and piece together a story from there. Because I’ve been publishing snippets instead of a story in chronological order, it puts my storytelling at a disadvantage, leaving many details murky and able to be misinterpreted. I have a feeling this plays a large part in how I’ve fumbled her tale so far, and I apologize. I should have considered that more when posting.

Clearly I’m not experienced enough of a writer to tackle the subject of struggles with disabilities and chronic illnesses in a respectful and insightful manner. Even if I were more experienced, that might not have been a good narrative choice on my part regardless, because I’m able-bodied and I’ve never had to deal with those struggles myself. No matter how much I research or try to tread delicately, that will never be able to compare to the lived experiences of disabled people, and I understand that now. I’m so sorry for not understanding it sooner.

I don’t want Te’lise to be portrayed as a caricature or a negative stereotype or to hurt anyone in any way, so I was thinking of removing her current insecurities at the beginning of her story (namely, not feeling ‘good enough’ because of her chronic illness) to prevent any sort of unconscious ableism at the source. There are ways to facilitate character growth without falling into harmful tropes or stereotypes, and I’m determined to make that happen.

If anyone has other suggestions as to how I should proceed with this, or opinions on if this is the right way to proceed, I’d be endlessly grateful if you shared them. I really want to make this right in any way I can.

Thank you to the people who brought this to my attention. My head is always in the clouds, and that unfortunately has consequences. Good intentions don’t always translate in the way they should, and I’m ashamed at the thought of hurting anybody with a character that I’ve created to share love. I’m taking this experience to heart as a lesson, and I’m going to be more careful with how I tackle sensitive and nuanced subjects like this in the future.”

.

Since I posted this, many people have generously reached out to offer advice, and even firsthand experiences with chronic illnesses. I’ve started researching more thoroughly into how to write chronically ill characters without unconsciously falling into ableist tropes. I’ve also been approaching how I write my characters more thoughtfully, and with more tact, in general.

Thank you very much for reaching out, and for inadvertently reminding me to address this on Tumblr too. If there’s anything else you would like to discuss with me or offer critiques on, you are always welcome to message me or send another ask to my inbox.

[oinkawater]

So, your oikawa fics are honestly amazing! I was hoping I could request one based on the song heartbreak hotel by Abigail Barlow where oikawa is trying to woo the reader but she rejects him constantly. Thank you!

oh no it’s been so long since i’ve posted

i stopped watching haikyuu for a while and i kind of fell out of writing! but here i am, and i am back with big plans!

i’d just gotten over a breakup earlier this year so this piece is actually pretty relatable for me haha... 

keep the requests coming!!

You stare wide-eyed at the bouquet of flowers that were held to your face. Your attention slowly focuses on the man holding them. It had just dawned upon you, after two long weeks.

Oikawa Tooru had been flirting with you. How could you have been so oblivious?

"Oikawa-kun," you trailed off.

Almost immediately, the hand falls to his side. His fist clenches over the stem of the flowers. “Have I misread the signs? Did I misinterpret the vibes between us?”

In all honesty, you had just gotten broken up with nearly three weeks ago. Oikawa came prancing into your life over a common interest when you bumped into each other in the gym. You enjoyed the company, if you were going to be honest.

The one thing you hadn’t intended on doing was leading the poor guy on. It hadn’t occurred to you that you might have while you were busy keeping your mind off of your ex.

“No, it’s not like that at all!” You quickly came to your own defence. You threw your hands up to shake them to dismiss his doubt. “It’s just that...”

As far as everyone knew, you had just woken up one day and shut yourself out from everybody else. You’d come into the gym and ignore everyone. You would go to class, do your allocated work and go straight home - the entire day without talking to anybody at all.

You just started coming out of your shell after you’d bumped into Oikawa. You’re even getting proper sleep again, and you’re eating as much as a normal college student should be.

He tilts his head in confusion. “What is it?”

You sigh, “I’m getting over a breakup right now. It’s only going to be a month.”

He raises his eyebrow. “Do you want to get back together with him?”

Just three days ago, you were still lying in bed crying over the loss you’ve been mourning over for weeks. But today was different. You’d woken up feeling better than the other days that followed getting dumped. Things just seemed to be a lot brighter than before.

“Of course, I don’t.”

He folds his arms over his chest and rubs his chin. He pouts his lip out as he goes into a deep thought.

Now you start to feel like you should defend yourself. “It’s not that you’re not a great guy, Oikawa-kun! It’s just that I’m not fully over my ex yet and I simply don’t think that you deserve someone who is unsure of their feelings right now.”

You angle your head in a way to catch his gaze. To your surprise, he only continue to look further down to the ground where it would be impossible for you to make eye contact. “I just don’t know exactly what I feel for you right now. I like being with you and spending time with you is always the highlight of my week. I just don’t think you deserve someone who is not sure.”

He hums and nods, seeming to understand what you’d just said. “Do you want me to take a step back?”

You like the attention, if you had to admit. You love the warmth he gave to you every time he was there to keep you company. It’s just that you are not sure of anything right now. 

It’s only just starting to come back together for you.

How were you so sure that this wouldn’t end up with you in a fit of rage and a puddle of tears in a few months?

“I really enjoy being with you. I just don’t want to be the one that keeps you waiting when there are other opportunities out there. People who are ready for you.”

He shakes his head. “If you can’t say to my face confidently that you do not want me, then I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He grins, takes a step forward and then held up the flowers to your face again. “You’re too fucking good for me to let go of.”

You snatch the flowers from his hands and grumble under your breath. “Okay, fine. But we go at my pace, got it?” You raise an eyebrow fiercely. “I have too much going on and having a boyfriend is a lot of commitment that I’m just not all for right now.”

His lips stretch into a wide smile. “Anything is worth it for you.”

[pomp-and-circumstance]

Fuck. Here we go. Episode 106. The flight. I have so many thoughts about the flight.

(I have a lot of thoughts about things, who am I kidding. Maybe I can wrangle them all together here to make some sense.)

I feel like the first thing is that... I don’t know how much credit Marisha gets for how she’s handled everything, but I’ve heard these rumblings that people felt like this ship came out of nowhere, and while I can see what they’re saying to a degree, I think that statement ultimately belittles Marisha as a player. She’s said she was going to make Beau a fuckboi and sleep her way through the campaign until Ashley introduced Yasha, but the most important detail here has nothing to do with their characters and everything to do with Ashley’s schedule. 

These guys are all friends. They love each other. Marisha isn’t going to require Matt or someone else put words in Ashley’s mouth to RP some kind of romance from the beginning. The biggest thing when RP’ing romance is to have the consent of both parties and who knows? Maybe Ashley would have changed her mind in the middle of being gone? My guess is they probably talked about it and decided to put in some hints, play with the chemistry a little, but not do anything major until Ashley came back. That said, it’s on Marisha to play the subtlety card for several weeks. If you think about it, it’s a clever “does she or doesn’t she” in terms of how Beau feels for Yasha, because what better time to try and settle possible conflicted feelings than when your interest is under mind control and can’t break free? Was she playing us the whole time? What does that mean about my feelings? I can brush those aside if she’s evil... but what if she isn’t?

Bottom line, Marisha isn’t going to try and do something that’s going to make Ashley uncomfortable upon returning, and it really showed in a lot of ways. If you think this ship came out of nowhere, that’s fine, but I think it’s far more a testament to the respect Marisha has for Ashley. After all, listening for thunder can be platonic or romantic. Did things really take off after Ashley came back and Yasha was free from mind control? Hell yeah it did - because there’s no schedule limitations holding them back. Who’s to say this wouldn’t have been how it started? We won’t know.

I won’t stand for Marisha Ray slander on my here Tumblr. She’s exactly the type of person I’d want to play with. I love her friendship with everyone, and I love her patiently and gently guiding Ashley through something she’s stated to be nervous about doing in the first place. The respect cannot be understated.

Now... the flight.

It’s Ashley’s choice when exactly the wings come out, but you gotta have a little fun with everyone at the table too, yanno? Of everyone in the party to take a hit from a falling body and not take a lot of damage, it’s the tank. The flirting hasn’t exactly been subtle, but Beau has the right idea asking Yasha to catch her. (Could she have asked Caleb to do something? Sure, but where’s the fun in that?) Besides, you gotta think Yasha wants a moment to check if those wings are real and see what they can do, and it’s not like she went super high to catch Beau anyway.

But the moment she catches Beau... oh, the moment she catches Beau.

This play-it-cool fuckboi who didn’t think twice about sleeping with Keg and made the immediate first step to grab and kiss Reani is a flustered, babbling, incoherent mess, and that, my friends, is the difference. She could have said any number of cool or suave things Beau has in her arsenal to charm any woman she wants, but Yasha is an actual angel and she has no idea what to do with that. She’s also been able to tell - every time - when someone else is interested in her, but here it’s a moment of stammering and flustered noises, holy shit this woman is so much more than she or I knew and those giddy butterflies you get in your stomach when you realize you like someone and they probably like you back. Beau and Yasha both are reduced to stammering disasters who shared a pivotal moment together that will change them forever.

Which brings me to Yasha. Granted, the wings could have come out at any point - a battle, a moment of privacy, etc - but I think it’s so symbolic that Ashley took that chance to use them to catch Beau the session immediately following Yasha putting her past behind her. She fell in love with Beau in Kamordah, sure, but I feel like this is when Yasha starts believing it’s okay to fall in love again. This is when she lets herself do that. Looking back on it by herself, she probably realized it had been a thing since Kamordah, but there’s a difference between realizing you’re in love and acting on it. Beau has witnessed a handful of moments that have to do with Zuala, including when Yasha pulled the image Caleb made of them to fall asleep to, but those feel far more like Yasha becoming comfortable with letting her go than they are yearning. (Which Beau could easily misinterpret.) If Yasha fell in love in Kamordah, she has to come to terms with her grief and move on, and it shows in her dream where she hears Zuala. It wasn’t an agonizing reunion of regrets and wishes and pondering if things could have been different. “I have to go.” I have to move on. There’s something here, and I have to let you go to find out what it is. I’m in love again. It was the final piece to releasing her past and stepping into her future.

So where are we now? 

Two people who are seeing themselves in a different light, for the first time, together. 

Mutual admiration in full swing, set on a path to something more. 

Ashley’s courage to try something different in D&D. 

Marisha’s delight and guidance into something she’s familiar with. 

A love story with all of it’s twists and turns and yearning, as well as trust and faith and admiration. 

It’s beautiful.

The real MVPs of all this are Laura and Travis, who have got to be the biggest Beauyasha shippers out there, let’s just be real. It’s almost more fun to watch them than anybody else, lol.

[wlwcarries]

some final points

i don’t want anything i’ve said to get misinterpreted, so this is just one last post to clear some things up. 

1. i don’t think charlie is a predator, or grooming anybody or anything like that at all. i don’t think he had bad intentions, he’s just stupid and excited about his fanbase. he shouldn’t have participated in the chat and sent those messages, but i’m not trying to say he’s a disgusting and terrible person either. we just need to hold him accountable.

2. please, please don’t cancel charlie. i don’t know if that’s what twitter is trying to do right now or not, but it won’t be productive at all. if people are trying to cancel him, then they’re missing the point entirely. i don’t want to get him fired or ruin his reputation or anything like that, rather i feel that he needs to be held accountable and establish boundaries with his fans so he can continue interacting with them but in a healthy way. 

3. this is also not me trying to defend him. it’s unacceptable, and he has a responsibility to do better. i’m not going to rehash all the reasons why it’s not okay, because i’ve gone through all that in my previous posts, but we have to strike a constructive balance when we’re talking about this. neither charlie nor the people in the chat deserve hate, please be respectful.

4. if you’ve sent me a message and i sent you something, please do not share or post it anywhere. there is a reason i refused to share my information publicly, and i have chosen to trust that everyone who has messaged me won’t do so either. please don’t break that trust.

all i wanted was to add some clarity to the situation and to get the truth out there, and i hope that i’ve succeeded in doing so.

i hope i can get back to regularly scheduled programming soon--lighthearted, fun, and overall positive posts about our favorite wicked beauty and her ghost himbos! we should absolutely continue to talk about this and not just sweep it under the rug in two days, but i feel i’ve said my piece for now. 

i’m going to be taking a small break for a few days, just because everything has been really intense lately and i encourage anyone who’s been feeling overwhelmed to do the same. my ask box and dms are always open, but i’m really sorry if i haven’t gotten the chance to respond to anyone yet. 

thank you guys so, so much for the support and kind messages i’ve received--i’m so grateful to all of you, you have no idea. sending love, ani 💕

[bokutosworld]

third time’s a charm | bokuto koutarou

a/n: posting this in advance hehe happy birthday to my golden boy, sunshine baby, and the best ace, bokuto! i am so. in love with him. thank you furudate-sensei for creating him :’) 

pairing: bokuto x f!reader

wc: 2.4k words of mutual pining and birthday fluff.

summary: bokuto has been wanting to confess his feelings for you, but you take him by surprise.  

--

you met bokuto on your first year in fukurodani. despite being in the same year, you’ve only heard about him through stories told by classmates and friends. he was a powerful spiker, an up-and-coming volleyball ace, and you respected him for that.  

it wasn't until that one rainy day that you met him. classes just finished and you were packing your things when the rain came pouring down. and it was only your luck that you forgot to bring an umbrella that day.

you hadn't realized how long you have been standing in the school entrance, near the shoe lockers, until you heard shuffling beside you. there was bokuto, seated on the doorway and tying his shoes. when he looked up at you, he was grinning from ear to ear - you've heard it was his signature smile - and it seemed to brighten up that rainy and gloomy afternoon.  

'hey! wanna come home with me?' he said this so casually that you weren't sure if you heard him right. if anybody heard him, they could easily misinterpret him. he must have noticed that you were looking at him incredulously, 'oy! don't get me wrong! i just figured you didn't have an umbrella and we could maybe share! besides, we're going in the same way!'

how he knew where you lived was a mystery to you. of course, bokuto wouldn't admit that he had his eye on you for a while and that he passed by your classroom earlier, seeing you packing your things and noticed you didn't have an umbrella. you didn't want to question him further, because here he was offering you a safe and dry option to go home. so you accepted, 'i'd like that. thank you...'

'bokuto koutarou! but you can call me bokuto or koutarou. whichever you like really!' it was cute how he fumbled over his words, he hoped you didn't notice that he was too excited to be interacting with you. you smiled, 'thank you, bokuto. i'm y/n.' 

on the walk home, bokuto proved to be a gentleman. his umbrella was big enough to cover the both of you but you noticed him tilting it to your side to make sure you didn't get wet from the rain. you guys made some small talk, catching up on your subjects, how the classes were treating you. you even asked him how volleyball was going for him.

when you finally arrived at your home, you thanked him and even offered to let him inside so he could dry himself. but he was shy and insisted that you can just pay him back at school then he went on his way. you were left standing at your door, wondering what he meant. but you couldn't deny that you were looking forward to getting to know him more.

the following morning, bokuto made his way to your class during lunch. he sat down at your desk, and it was as if you two were best buddies as he chatted with you and told you stories about his morning training. as much as you were surprised, you didn't mind it and indulged him. your classmates were a witness to the blossoming friendship between the two of you.

since that day, you and bokuto were inseparable. from helping him study, accompanying him in his extra trainings, and even going out of your way to make him cute little bentos, you showed him support in the ways you knew possible as his best friend. everyone thought you guys were dating. towards the end of the year, rumors were circulating that you and bokuto are together. you chose to ignore it, not wanting to ruin the wonderful friendship that you two shared.

however, unknown to you, those gossips were sparking something in bokuto. he always thought you were a great person - smart, attractive, kind. the recent talk in school made him realize that he saw you as a woman and he was yearning for something more with you.

so one day, bokuto decided that he was going to confess to you after school. when he dropped you off at your house, he stayed for a few minutes. he stood there in front of you, fidgeting and you thought it was cute. you figured he wanted to say something so you waited. but just as he finally mustered up the courage to say he likes you, the front door opened, revealing your dad. bokuto panicked and looked between you and your dad. 'hello sir! i was just taking her home.' he bowed and his gaze flitted over to you, 'i'll see you tomorrow at school!' and the boy ran away fast, leaving you and your father with confused looks on your faces.  

second year arrived and you guys were closer than ever. however, you were both busy with club activities - you with student council responsibilities and bokuto with trainings and practice matches for the volleyball club.

the two of you saw each other in the hallways, stopping by to hug each other and have conversation before class started. sometimes, you would see each other in the cafeteria where he was often sitting with his team and you with your own group of friends. you would exchange knowing looks across the hall and both your friends would tease you. bokuto was already used to it, but you were always a blushing mess. 

one morning, bokuto came to your the student council room before the classes started. you wondered what he was doing here, 'aren't you supposed to be in morning practice right now?' he smiles, 'yeah! but i wanted to introduce someone to you first!' he moves to the side and reveals a boy. it turns out the boy is named akaashi, a first year member of the volleyball club. he was a setter and bokuto was overly excited, complimenting him nonstop about his skills and how he makes a great addition to the team. akaashi was flattered, almost bashful, and you were amused seeing bokuto so fond of the younger boy.

easy to say, the introduction of akaashi also meant that your duo became a trio. much to bokuto's delight, you and akaashi got along so well. despite him being a year lower than you, you interacted with him comfortably. often, you would wait for the two boys to finish practice so the three of you can go home together. in between walks home, you would stop by cafes to try new food and drinks.

and being the observant person that he is, akaashi saw through the feelings that you and bokuto shared and he was puzzled as to why the both of you weren't still a couple. there were boys in his class who were asking him about you, if he can introduce them to you. but he would always politely turn them down, respecting the closeness of your relationship with bokuto.

there was a day when you had to skip on going home with them. you messaged them saying you had to stay back for student council duties. and as much bokuto and akaashi would have liked to wait for you, they had game tomorrow and had to rest to be in good condition so they went head. the walk was silent and akaashi was wondering if bokuto was on one of his moods. however, his worries were quickly dispelled when the older boy turned to him and asked, 'do you like y/n?' it surprised him but at the same time, akaashi found it amusing.

'no, bokuto-san. i believe y/n already has her eye on someone else.' he gave bokuto a knowing and encouraging look. 'you should try confessing to her. it wouldn't hurt letting her know about your feelings,' akaashi advised.

when bokuto settled in his home, he mulled over what akaashi told him. he wasn't that oblivious to recognize the many boys who were looking at you and wanting to make a move. it always crushed his heart whenever he thought he could lose you and your friendship once you entered a relationship. he knew he had to make his move, but he also knew how you were getting busy lately with student council. he didn't want to add to your stress, and to be honest, he was at the point of his volleyball career where he had to focus all his time on the sport. entering a relationship now when you were both busy would be futile. so in the meantime, he thought he'd wait for the right time and pushed back any plans to confess.

finally, you and bokuto were on your last year in high school. he made a promise to himself that he would properly ask you out before graduation. and it was like the gods of matchmaking and love were on his side as the two of you were finally on the same class!

he was thrilled, running up to you to hug you on the first day of school. he thought about the many opportunities he had to finally ask you the question. however, as seniors, there was the looming responsibilities of college entrance exams and last volleyball matches that kept you two busy.

often bokuto would whine to you in class, 'y/n!!!!!!!! why do i not see you anymore? this is torture.' you would always laugh at his dramatic ass, and to your classmates it was a sight to see the ace looking for your attention. yet much as you wanted to spend time with him, you had papers to help file for the council and exams to prepare for. but as his best friend, you would often make it up to him, going to his games to support him and giving him notes that he needed for the classes he missed. you were even helping him study for his own college exams on weekends.

your parents were getting concerned, worried that you were spending too much time outside on weekends instead of resting home. one time, before you left, your mom stopped you, 'why are you doing all this for bokuto? he's perfectly capable on his own, you know.' you stopped, remembering all the times bokuto would run to you for help on a subject, the times when he would call you to ask about a question. you liked how he depended on you, and deep inside you knew that a part of you depended on him too. you knew that if he decided to stop talking to you, he would be taking a piece of you with him.

you didn't get to answer your mother, only smiled at her as you left home for bokuto. but ideas were already swimming in your mind. you wanted to be with him for as long as god would allow you. if bokuto hadn't realized your feelings for him yet, you were going to take matters into your own hands.

which was how you found yourself on the school rooftop on the day of his birthday. today, you were going to confess. you spent weeks planning the event, even asking akaashi for help. you needed the younger boy to ask the coach to excuse bokuto in training and luckily, the coach agreed.

bokuto was confused as to why he was being excused, but only got an instruction from akaashi to go to the rooftop. so with hesitant steps, he went upstairs. when he got to the top floor, bokuto knocked on the door before opening it, revealing a surprised you as laid out the drinks and homemade food on the picnic blanket.

'what is going on here?' he arrived too soon for your liking and you were flustered. you hadn't finished setting up the plates yet, haven't even set up the music on your phone. but bokuto stepped forward, 'is this...'

you jumped up, extending your arms around your head and shouted, 'happy birthday, bokuto!' he stood still for a minute, digesting what was happening then he was walking towards you and scooping you up on your feet in an embrace.

the two of you laughed as he twirled you around, 'bokuto! stop, i'm gonna get dizzy!' when he put you down, he looked at you affectionately, 'thank you so much for this! you are the best!' and without missing a beat, you said, 'i love you, bokuto.'

you saw as his eyes grew wide, stepping a few feet away from you and you dreaded that he was going to reject you. he was walking in circles now and you were getting anxious for the lack of reply. so you went to him, grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him in tracks. 'did you hear what i said?'

he nodded, but still kept silent. you continued, 'well, are you just going to ignore that?' you were unfair, bokuto thought. he pouted and looked down to avoid your gaze, 'but i wanted to be the one to say it first.' now it was your turn to be shocked, and before you knew it you were moving closer to give him his gift.

your hands on his cheeks and the touch of your lips on his caught bokuto by surprise. it took him a while to register it but here you were, the love of his life, kissing him. seconds passed and he was kissing you back, he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. he moved one hand to caress your cheek lovingly.

when he pulled away, he gave you a peck on the forehead. smirking, he declared, 'be my girlfriend?'

you wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his nose, 'i have been waiting for you to say that.' this time he blushed, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and he thought about what did he do to deserve you.

'this is the best birthday ever.'

[going-fancognito]

“What if the Champions kept trying to confess their feelings, but the reader is oblivious af to their attempts?”

Lol this was really fun to write. Unfortunately I don’t really know how to write Daruk in a romantic relationship, so I left him out of this one. Hope that’s ok.  Remember, my ask box is open if y’all have any requests :)

Revali:

Is practically tearing his feathers out in frustration

It’s been months

He wasn’t even being subtle about it

Busts out the cheesiest pick-up lines he can think of

Even invites you on a trip aboard Vah Medoh

(Normally he’d have an arrow ready for whatever fool so much as breathed near his divine beast)

But whenever anybody asks about your relationship with him?

“Oh no, Revali’s just a good friend.” 

ASDFGHJK-

Please figure it out soon, he’s gonna go mad at this rate

Mipha:

Like with her crush on Link, she has trouble expressing her feelings

Precious girl is a bit shy about it

(She’s the original Paya guys)

One day, she approaches you with her handmade Zora armour 

Unfortunately, no ones informed you about Zora customs, so you just assume it’s a gift

“Wow thanks Mipha, this is great! I’ve been meaning to buy new armour for awhile now.”

Poor girls a blushing mess

Later, one of the other Zoras will recognize the princess’ handiwork, and fills you in on the meaning

What you decide to do with the info is up to you ;)

Urbosa:

Is the most patient of the group

Urbosa’s in no hurry to advance your relationship

She just enjoys the time you spend together

However, there are still moments that flew right over your head

Like the lingering touches around your waist whenever you guys went sandseal-surfing together 

Or the days you’d lose track of time, and end up spending the night at her place to avoid the sandstorms

Sleepovers were innocent and you both just spent the entire time conversing over anything and everything that came to mind

If you were a guy, she’d disguise you as a Vai and sneak you in for the night

“Can’t let my favourite Voe get their cute face lost in the desert, can I?”

(dang, she’s smooth)

Take notes Revali 

Don’t even think of trying to enter Gerudo town in disguise on your own though

(Crush or not, Urbosa will drop-kick your ass into Death Mountain if you try sneaking into town without her permission)

Eventually, she will confess how she feels about you

Is very straightforward about it, leaves nothing to misinterpret

Afterwards, sleepovers together might be become less innocent ;)

*cue the sexy saxophone music*

Link:

Is more of a shower then a teller

So any attempt he makes is probably done through actions

Needless to say, that plan blows up in his face

Flowers? “Oh thanks Link, my neighbours’ been looking for something to brighten her house up”

Jewlery he picked up from Gerudo town? “Is this ‘cause I mended your tunic last week? You know you don’t need to pay me back or anything.”

A kiss on your hand? “Lol, Hyrule Castles’ etiquette must be rubbing off on you Link, is that how they greet people over there?”

Look him in the eyes, you can probably see him internally screaming

Eventually, he comes up with a plan that’s absolutely foolproof

The two of you first bonded over a shared love for food

So food is how he’ll get through to you

He invites you over for dinner one night and you have to stop yourself from drooling when you arrive

Link was one of the best cooks you know, and today is no exception

Soon he approaches you with two bowls and you start to dig in, until you notice what tonights dish was

“Uh Link, is this creamy heart soup?” He barely looks up from his bowl and gives you a quick nod

You cheeks grew warm “Heh, interesting choice. Uh, you probably forgot, but some Hylians consider this a couples meal. Like, you're only supposed to eat this with your lover?”

Link puts down his now empty bowl and looks you straight in the eyes.

He nods. Yeah, he knew already.

Now you were confused. “Wait, then why did you-oh.”

OH.

Wow. Is it just you, or was the room getting really hot?

Link grabs your bowl and cleans up while you continue to process this new information

You’re still quiet when he later escorts you home, and now Links’s starting to get nervous

Maybe he came on too strong? Should he have been more subtle about it? Oh Hylia, what if you began to avoid him after this?

On the outside, he’s totally cool. Inside? The boy is now a screaming ball of anxiety.

His worries are soon put to rest however, once you arrive at your doorstep

Still red-faced, you manage to give him a quick peck on the cheek before stuttering out a “goodnight” and ducking inside your home for the night

It takes a moment for Links brain to reboot

He places a hand over where you had just kissed him a moment ago, then lets out the goofiest grin

Looks like the way to your heart really was through your stomach

(Yeah good job Link, now the reader’s just hungry for you)

Bonus

Sidon:

SURPRISE!

You’re the one who actually confesses this time

Sidon’s a pretty friendly guy in general, but he acted especially affectionate towards you, since you were close friends

Whether it was holding you're hand or placing his arm around your shoulder while strolling through Zoras domain, you both were always touching in some form or manner

With all time you spent together, it’s no surprise that you fall hard and fast for the Zora prince

Plus, who can resist that fine piece of hot shark man

When you finally tell him, Sidon responds with his usual grin (God that smile of his I'm dying-)

“Thank you Y/N, I’m always overjoyed to hear you say so.”

“No-” you stammered, “No Sidon, I mean I like you, as more than a friend.”

His smile turned a bit bemused. “Um, alright? Thank you Y/N, I also like you as well.”

He wasn’t getting it. “No Sidon, I mean romantically. Like, as in I was hoping you might like to go out on a date?”

Cue confused shark boi

“But, are we not already dating?

Wait, what?

[Sidon used uno-reverse card]

[reader was now inflicted with confusion]

Turns out, with how you both acted with each other, Sidon assumed you both just naturally fell into a relationship. 

Basically, he thought you guys were a couple this whole time

He just forgot to do the whole, “confessing to you” part

Looks like you’re not the only one who’s oblivious

You’re a match made in heaven 

[judediangelo75]

He Hates Me!

Person A has a huge crush on Person B, but Person B is convinced that Person A hates them. Idea coming from @pairing-prompts

There’s no real time line here. I have a small burst of inspiration so I’m taking it with both hands.

Main Character friend for this story: Katriona Cassiopeia aka future Mrs. McNully @kc-needs-coffee

---------------------

“Talbott, mate, you’re staring again...” The avian Animagus knew this. Nor did he really care.

“Tell me something I don’t know Egwu,” he mumbled, never taking his eyes off the figure sitting at the Hufflepuff table. Andre rolled his eyes.

“Talbott, I’m pretty sure she can feel you burning holes into her skin at this point. Stop it,” the style wizard chided. A small part of him whined, not wanting to take his eyes of the vision sitting just a few tables away from him.

But he relented and turned his gaze to his fellow Eagle.

“Happy,” he asked. 

“Ecstatic. Talbott, why don’t you ask her out already? It’s been years,” Andre pressed. A small blush colored Talbott’s face as he stole a glance at the witch in question.

Judith Harris.

His longtime crush.

At first, he wanted nothing to do with her.

He’s seen her around before, but that was the first time he’s seen her up close. She was really pretty and Talbott wasn’t sure how to properly talk to her when she shyly came to him to ask for his help to become an Animagus. When he rejected her, it was a knee jerk reaction.

He never meant to hurt her feelings.

Whenever they were together, he started to feel things that he never felt before. Despite his coldness and aloof attitude, she still smiled at him. 

His heart never failed to flutter at the sight of it. He wanted to see it more often. Directed at him.

He found himself opening up to her.

He told her about his parents.

He felt like he could trust her. 

Things were going good. They were slowly starting to form a friendship.

Until he messed it up by avoiding her.

He was 15 when he realized his feelings for her. Unsure on what to do, he started pushing her away. He declined her attempts at eating lunch with him or even offers to go flying for a bit. Very rarely taking her offer to play Gobstones or go out for a Butterbeer.

He did study with her on occasion but never for long. 

He found it hard not to get closer to her and indulge his desires. He usually abruptly leaves before he did something stupid.

Like hugging her close. Playing with her hair. Holding her hand. Nuzzling her neck. Kissing her soft lips.

Now, it’s gotten to the point she rarely went out her way to talk to him first. She became skittish around him, never lingering around him like she used to.

And he wanted her to.

Talbott bit the inside of his cheek as he narrowed his eyes at her.

Sweet Gods, he’ll do anything if he meant that he can get close to her heart.

“Talbott?” The young man in question blinked and turned back to his mate.

“You said something?” Andre stared at at Talbott completely unamused.

“I said quit staring at her and answer my question!” Talbott looked a little disgruntled before sighing.

“I’m not sure how. Whenever I get close to her, I can’t seem to find the right words. I feel like I’m pushing her away than bringing her closer,” he admitted, feeling his chest constrict a little.

Andre looked at him with sympathy.

It wasn’t easy to befriend Talbott but eventually, they’ve become good mates. Only time they had a real issue was when Talbott confronted him about Judith being his Celestial Ball date.

Andre just walked into the Ravenclaw Common Room after dropping Judith at her’s in the Hufflepuff basement. He felt like he was walking on air after spending the night dancing with the beautiful witch. The feeling quickly disappeared when he came face to face with an irritated Talbott.

“Talbott, what’s-”

“Out of all witches you could’ve gone with, you picked her?!” Andre immediately raised his hands in surrender at the angry hiss.

“Woah, easy there mate! You didn’t go to the ball so why do you care?” Talbott paused, a soft blush dusting over his cheekbones before he looked away. 

“...” Andre furrowed his brows, thoughtful for a few moments before the lightbulb went off.

“Crikey, you like her!” Talbott immediately turned his gaze back on him, red eyes wide with alarm and annoyance.

“Announce it to the whole damn castle why don’t you?!”

There was no hard feelings between the two. Whilst Andre did like Judith, he knew that was just a simple crush.

An admiration for the Hufflepuff and nothing more.

Talbott however...

It’s clear that he got it bad.

The blatant staring.

The blush that colors his cheeks whenever her name was mentioned.

Andre even caught Talbott writing a love poem about her.

What Talbott felt was more than a crush. He was in love with her.

And Andre can’t stand to see his mate pining hopelessly after her.

What Talbott needed was a push in the right direction...

“Maybe I can help...” Talbott side eyed him. Normally he would be strongly against seeking help, but it’s not like he’s any closer to receiving Judith’s affection with what he’s doing now.

“I’m listening...”

—————————

Katriona gave her friend her signature pout as they walked to the Quidditch stadium to practice for a bit.

“Oh come on, Judith! You’d never know unless he talk to to him.” Judith ignored the flush on her face with eye roll.

“The day I decide to tell Talbott how I feel is the day I jump into the Black Lake,” the Hufflepuff witch huffed. 

“Oh stop being dramatic. He likes you,” Katriona insisted. Judith stopped to give her an “You’re joking, right?” expression.

“Oh of course he likes me! How can I not tell by his glaring stares that threaten to light me on fire? Or by the fact he rejects my company? Or that he basically runs out early on our study sessions? Face it, KC, he hates me!” Katriona did her best to suppress a wince.

If it wasn’t for a certain Ravenclaw Seeker, she would’ve assumed the same thing. 

“Maybe he’s just having a hard time expressing how he feels,” she offered to comfort her friend. Judith scoffed.

“Talbott told me himself. His life is too complicated to be anything but direct,” Judith sighed. Katriona resisted the urge to slap her forehead.

She never meant someone that almost had a comeback for comment until she met Judith. It was annoying just as it can be funny.

They reached the Changing Rooms and went to change in their practice robes. 

Katriona just hoped that Talbott found the right locker...

-----------------------------

Judith stared at the piece of paper that was stuffed into her locker with a small flush on her face.

“I haven't stopped thinking about you. It's like you put a spell on me."

“What the hell,” Judith mumbled as she walked out of the tent with the note still in hand.

“Whatcha got there?” Judith stiffen momentarily before relaxing once she realized it was KC.

“Just a note...” Judith tried to brush it off but Katriona was quick to snatch it and read it.

“OOOOO~ Looks like you have a secret admirer~!” Judith felt her blush worsen as she snatched the note back and stuffed it in her pocket.

“Oh stop it. It’s not that serious,” Judith hissed as she sped walked to the pitch. Katriona giggled as she ran to catch up to the embarrassed Hufflepuff.

“What if it’s Talbott,” she teased. Judith looked away, not willing to let her face betray her true feelings.

“That’ll be the day hell freezes over...”

--------------------------------

Judith blinked as she found another sheet of paper sitting her desk in Transfiguration class. She quickly took her seat and read it.

“In a world of secrets and lies, I feel like you are my truth.”

One of her hands rose to cover a red cheek as she glanced around the room to figure out who could’ve possibly left the note. 

No one seem to be paying her no mind. Not even Tal-

‘Oh crap, I spoke too soon...’ she thought. The aloof Ravenclaw, who originally was facing the front of the classroom, turned his gaze on her the moment she looked at him. Judith wouldn’t be surprised if she was blushing to the roots of her hair at this point...

“You okay, Judith?” Judith turned to find Andre sitting next to her. Judith can still feel those red eyes looking at her.

“Y-Yeah!” Real convincing...

“Sure... what’s up with the note,” Andre asked. 

“Oh, this silly little thing? Nothing import- HEY!” Andre took the paper to read it. The style wizard spared her a smirk.

“Seems like you caught the eyes of a certain wizard, huh,” he teased. Judith let out a soft growl and snatched the note back.

“Nosey Ravenclaws,” she mumbled under her breath. Andre chuckled before asking,

“Have any idea who this secret admirer is?” Judith blushed and shook her head. The Ravenclaw Seeker rose a brow at her.

“Anybody you hoping it’ll be,” he asked instead. Judith let out a soft cough.

“Yes... but he hates me...” Judith completely missed the small surprise on her friend’s face.

And never did she noticed the shell shocked form of a certain Animagus.

--------------------

Talbott sat in the library, doing his upmost not to fidget.

He know that he was terrible at communicating his feelings but he didn’t realize that Judith would misinterpret it for hatred. 

He was determined to clear the air between the two.

He was gonna admit how he felt.

It was currently Saturday morning, nobody came into the library. And they normally sat pretty deep in the library, where Pince couldn’t bother them if one of them accidently spoke too loud.

He had a rose hidden in one of the sleeve of his robes. 

A yellow rose with red tips.

“H-Hey Talbott...” He looked up to find Judith taking a seat next to him.

He graced her with a small smile.

“Hello, Judith,” he said softly. Judith blinked in surprise and felt heat rush to her cheeks.

‘What the actual hell? Did he just smile at me?’ Judith mentally shook her head and tried not to think about it too much.

“S-so, you ready to get some studying done,” she offered lamely, trying not to look the handsome wizard in his eyes.

Talbott wasn’t having it.

Gently, he pinched the girl’s chin between his thumb and index finger, raising her gaze to meet his own. Judith’s face was slightly red and her pretty gold eyes screamed her confusion and embarrassment.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something...” Judith bit her lip, completely unsure what this conversation has in store for her...

“W-what about?” Talbott studied her silently, his fingers brushing aside a loose curl from her face.

“Have you been receiving any notes recently,” he asked, never taking his eyes off of her. Judith brows furrowed her brows at this.

“Y-yes... h-how do you know y-you know about that?” 

‘Now or never, Winger...’

“I never tried being a secret admirer before. I hope you like them,” he whispered as he produced the rose from his sleeve and placed it behind her right ear.

Judith stared at him silently.

A minute or two passed and Talbott felt his bravado crumbling with each passing second.

“Y-you... you like... but I thought you hated me!” Talbott winced a little at her shocked pitch in her voice. Thankfully Pince wasn’t in right now or else they would’ve been shelving books.

“I never hated you, little bird. I’ve had feelings for you for years now... I was just really terrible at showing that,” he said shyly. Judith felt her face flush a dark red.

“I’m not good at dating or anything. I never tried it before but... I’m willing to give it chance for you,” he offered, hopefully. Judith let out a soft chuckle and smiled at him.

“I would like that...”

[monkey-network]

Why Shrek IS The Best

Tastes can change, you know? And it’s less about “What’s good about this now compared to before”, more of “Why would you like this now as opposed to before”? Unless allergic, you didn’t get why dark cola or hot chips tasted bad to you as a child, but when you grow up you can come to understand and appreciate it. Shouldn’t pressure yourself, that makes things worse, but things can certainly align in helping this newfound respect you get for something you’d believe you would never want again. That really is where I stand with Dreamworks’ Shrek. As a kid, while Toy Story left me traumatized for a while, Shrek left me side-eyeing with how crass and ugly it looked and I never wanted to think of it. But, as I grew up to respect animation a lot more, 2018 was where I looked back at Shrek and soon come to understand how wrong I was and how much greatness it has that I now consider it an all time great. And with it getting inducted into the Library of Congress, I thought it was finally time to present what I see in this film. Let’s do this right with...

The SOMEBODY

Now this frame has been meme’d to death. If there’s anything iconic about this film, ‘bout the franchise as a whole, it’s the exact moment when our main character charges out of his outhouse as Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ gets going. But this honestly just says a lot about Dreamworks’ direction from its previous films where compared to Disney that’ll take their time making the setup before getting into the hype point for its lead, Shrek gets going in one minute if we don’t count the logo intro. Not even The Emperor’s New Groove, which was going for the same tone before Shrek even released, took more of it’s time with the fairy tale aspect of it in its intro. Shrek literally wipes his ass with the fairy tale aspect before giving us the SOMEBODY, all around a minute. This frame really shows that this is sticking to the Disney formula in some way because it’s wasting no time getting into it. It represents the more brisk pace Shrek has with pulling you into what it’s gonna be about. This overall frame works in its thematic and parody aspect and I’ve yet to see anything top this exact moment, not even the greatest films I’ll ever remember.

But enough about the fact that I made a whole paragraph about this one frame of the movie. Let’s dive into what I say is a piece of the heart for this film.

The Earnestness

Speaking of Disney, you probably notice that their films have some cushioning in their presentation, like they generally don’t show things with a straightforward lens; there’s some theatrics in the way their best movies present themselves. That’s not a problem, mind you, but that helped me understand how Shrek does things very differently whether you consider it parody or not. While it throws mockery at the played out conventions associated with fairy tales, especially its most subtle jab at copyright, it doesn’t full on say fairy tales are annoying and bad. Hell, the film IS a fairy tale adapted from a fairy tale about a fookin’ OGRE that can eat lightning and kills with farts. But, it’s an accurate and earnest way to view a fairy tale from a somewhat realistic lens. Let’s take Shrek’s journey for instance.

Typically, the main character would want to experience something more; explore new horizons, prove themselves, find their calling. Shrek off the bat doesn’t need or desire any of that. He’s content with his life, beside the angry mob he casually scares off, and throughout the film he’s not interested in anything else outside getting the squatters out his swamp. He happily makes a deal with the villain of the film to exile those innocent refugees off his land so he could then build a wall to keep everybody out. Bringing up Emperor’s New Groove again, Shrek and Kuzco are the few characters I know that are actively antagonistic even when they’re forced into their situation from outside forces. However unlike Kuzco that gets to be emperor again but learns humility, Shrek is in the same spot as before but learns that there are people out here that can love him for who he is. I can’t say there’s anything grand about that, but it doesn’t need to be unlike the many Disney or any film that tries to shower you with the grandest themes. The relationships Shrek has with Donkey and Fiona are the most grounded I’ve ever seen because they’re not only natural, they’re hardly dolled up with the bells and whistles made to either drum up the biggest laughs or tug the heart strings viciously. When I think about it, I honestly could see myself in Shrek. He isn’t made to be a legend, he isn’t some secret genius or lost prince, he’s just an every-man ogre that wants to live peacefully or meet SOMEBODY that doesn’t treat as someone to be feared or disgusted at. Everything Shrek says is something anybody could or would say if they were his shoes because he, and the film in general, is the most grounded without making it all distractedly meta or genre-savvy. This is generally helped by...

The Dounkaey

Everyone’s talked about how Donkey is the best confidant for Shrek and Fiona. How he’s most true to himself to where he’s the most openly musical character in the film, and how he’s the most balanced here with his comedic vs serious moments. But I gotta say it too: Donkey is one of the greatest sidekicks ever. He’s a motormouth, but is never annoying to where you wish he left the film. The couple times he is purposefully annoying, not for a joke, is when he knows Shrek isn’t being truthful. He truly gets to know Shrek on this journey, and is the character Shrek gets to capacity to actually loosen up to, so it’s fitting that he’d be the one to push Shrek when the ogre’s sounding more vague than usual. Even when he’s harshly insulted, Donkey doesn’t take it as bad as when Shrek kept trying to shut him out again in the 3rd act after the Hallejulah sequence which is the scene in every Shrek movie where’s there a super sad song because Shrek is alone and yadda ya. I’ll get to it in a bit, but he is as much responsible in providing Fiona that seed of doubt that Shrek wouldn’t love her as the ogre she is. Donkey is the greatest friend because he wants to be there for those who are okay with him being around, and while you could give and take sidekick animals in your notable films with them in it, this film really wouldn’t have happened without him. Speaking of Fiona, I won’t retread what’s been said before like with Donkey but I did want to bring up something I haven’t seen many talk about,,,

The Love for An Ogre

I’ve seen many say the scene where Shrek overhears Fiona talk about “Who could love an ugly beast?” and misinterprets that as her talking about him as a cliched or contrived downside to the film, but I feel that a defense can be made. It personally makes sense that Shrek would misinterpret that and take it personally because 1) Who else would Fiona be talking about? 2) How would he know she was talking with Donkey? 3) Why would he just barge in on her? 4) Has no one considered that this moment is parallel to when Fiona overhears Shrek’s conversation with Donkey the night before?

Fiona is very much the antithesis to Shrek’s character where she can very much be open about what she wants but is scared at the idea of anyone figuring out who she really is. She’ll gladly be gross, kick ass, eat the young of a bird she let explode, but won’t let anyone see her true face. That’s why her curse makes sense, and why Shrek would take a fondness to her despite her initial disdain of him rescuing her. Fiona’s a character where the surface level beauty is her weakness as opposed to Shrek where it’s internal. Which is why when she overhears Shrek open up to Donkey about his societal isolation, she’s soon more comfortable around him. And it’s why when she opens up to Donkey about her looks, Shrek would unfortunately take it personal enough. I ask again, why would Shrek barge in on a conversation he wasn’t aware of or who she was talking about to not take it about anything else but him when what he heard such a cut so deep, especially from a character that bears his similar issues? It also helps that Donkey was in on it, as Shrek feels reasonably betrayed by the only other person he’s come to appreciate in his life. Contrived as it seems, it’s thematically important and appropriate to the conflict of Shrek’s character and the film overall. Don’t know how this could be conveyed any other way because it adds up at least.

I just wanna know how Shrek got to Faarquard’s and back by sunrise like did he run cuz that looked like a huge distance to travel on foot but anyways...

I’m sure things could’ve worked out if Shrek knew, either by barging in that night or through Donkey, but I think it’s fitting that the climax takes place at the wedding. After Shrek and Donkey understand their friendship, after Donkey reciprocates the Dragon’s love (more ways than one), and when Shrek grasps the mistake he made to charge over to Fuccquad’s chapel, we get to...

The End

After everything, we get to the moment where Shrek and Fiona get to share their first kiss, Fiona permanently transforms into an ogre, and we get this exchange. One of my favorite exchanges in the whole film:

Shrek: “Are you all right?” Fiona: “Well yes. But I don’t understand... I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

Shrek: “But you ARE beautiful”

We don’t need any other vows to understand their relationship was built up to this. This moment where Shrek can reaffirm Fiona’s feelings of being able to be herself in every way, because she allowed him to be himself in every way before. That’s that mutual love, baby, that just gets me every time and makes this film one of the best romance stories I know as well, even when it isn’t solely about the romance. This is Shrek’s story, and there’s nothing more touching than seeing this outcast not only get another to view him as a friend, not only someone to love, but people, if only a couple, to actually wanted to get to know him. I know Shrek 2 expands on this more, and it’s considered a golden sequel, but I will always cherish the first movie for how much it tells us off the bat while appearing as a “Take That” to Disney films. This is the genesis of Shrek feeling more accepted for himself and society and it just bears so much good commentary while being a good adventure nonetheless. Like you could say this film indeed has... dimensions? “You were trying to meme about la-”

The Conclusion

Mentioning it, I always had this thought with the conversation Shrek and Donkey had of why Shrek didn’t just “be an ogre” and pillage Fuccnut’s fortress. It’s possible Shrek could’ve taken out Faarquid himself, but that would mean being the beast he knows people have shunned him for, grabbed the torches and pitchfolks for, made him feel worse for. Shrek enjoys being an ogre, but he doesn’t like how society makes him feel lesser as an ogre. That really is what the four films have been about for him and what I’ve come to appreciate about these films personally. It can be easy to love yourself even when there are others out here that stand against you, but it’s hard to consider that anyone else could love you for who you are in spite of how you try to present yourself. But if there’s anything Shrek showed me, it’s that it’s possible. There can/will be people out here who appreciate the real you, will be there as much as you want to for them, and can help you realize more about yourself as opposed to suffering to silence eternally. Generally ideal, I know, but this film in the least offered me that thought in the most balanced way possible. It’s incredible how much of a tightrope this film has in its parody and sincerity and that makes its induction in the National Film Registry and being the first ever Best Animated Award winner pretty justified all things considered.

I know this film, the character, has been a meme over the years. As Schaffrillas mentions in his video, the direction Dreamworks made because of Shrek’s success kinda turned it into a heel people clowned on because, in theory, it was nothing but a joke with the onions and the swamp and IT’S NEVER OGRE. Then again, like I said in the beginning, tastes change. I’d say with Schaff’s masterful analyses on the film series and 3GI’s Shrek Retold and Shrekfest, the perception of the film sure enough shifted like the perception of Megamind. It’s one thing for a movie to blow people away or leave them thinking it’s horrible beyond belief, it’s another to take the time to then look back and see how those feelings have changed. For Shrek, it’s a film that was able to trudge out of the meme era to be a film many consider a strong, rewatchable, and unique. Like the beauty of Spongebob, Shrek is a considered a classic because as in the times as it appeared when it released, this film actually stood on its own with the most enjoyable and meaningful timelessness, exploring the desired love for the self, that deserves to be recognized. What else can I say, people?

It’s The Best

[dog-day-morning]

The word of God tells us we shall suffer for the cause of Christ, he who seeks a greater reward must attain a greater faith. Unto whom much is given that much more is required. You wanna eat that whole caramel cake, you crave that sweet tea, you pursue that woman in a nightclub hoping to get her in a compromised position, face down tail up because face it, we're not willing to bow down to the will of God, but we’re so happy, and ready to give in to that round mound of doo doo brown. The 3 Hebrew boys Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego went into the fiery furnace defying Nebuchadnezzar's declaration to worship him. These men had the inspiration, strength, and courage to say, even if He doesn't deliver us, we know that He can. That kind of faith is called perfected faith. We can be lazy because we refuse to work with what God gave us before the day of calamity comes to devour us. Tribulation is kicking into high gear, and many of God’s people are none the wiser. There are people who were working 3 jobs before, and after this pandemic became a global concern who know what is on the horizon. You don't need an Issachar spirit to discern the times; read the Bible. He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, ‘A shower is coming.’ And so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time? The gov't has pulled back on unemployment benefits forcing many to find a job. The 2 righteous servants in the parable of the 3 servants increased the wealth of their employer who trusted 3 men with different amounts of talents [money], and the 1 who didn't work diligently for his master inherited weeping, and gnashing of teeth. God invested in us, and He expected a greater return from this major investment. Jesus was the greatest financial venture ever made. The Father placed His faith in His Son who in turn gave Him many more sons that walk amongst us waiting for the Day of Judgment. This investment which supersedes all, but are intertwined will never decrease, and forever increase. The 144,000 isn't a spiritually inspired interpretation based on mine, and Mima getting the Holy Ghost or having an encounter with the Holy Spirit to speak in tongues. Sit down grandma, your Depends are leaking brown stuff that reeks of formaldehyde, and raw chitlins. God is looking for a righteous Nation to worship Him not themselves. These men, and boys who represent the 12 tribes of Israel have never been defiled by women, and hopefully not by men either. You lucky mother You can take the word literally or as a misinterpretation. Those who don't believe in the written word who believe that God's word isn't infallible aren't all to blame for this heresy. Those who originally interpreted the King James Bible added to, and took from are suffering for a misleading interpretation. The prophetic which God didn't let man corrupt altogether has pretty much played out verbatim. We may be dying to a world that is trying to kill our faith that God has no intention of doing until He finds His true worshippers, and He’ll never destroy one's faith in Him. Winter is coming and you and I must be prepared. We must live like today is our last without being caught up in fear. I'm suffering from a form of laziness called jackass. God shall supply all your needs, but faith without works is dead. The ant has the intuition to work throughout the Summer knowing that Winter is coming. A lot of these drones won't live to see the finished product. Ant mounds look like the Pyramids of Giza that secure the Queen, but where is the King? They serve the one who gives life that sustains the colony, she is their goddess, but what happens if the Queen dies? There's more than one Queen serving the colony who can breed an entire colony independent of one other. fulfilling their role while working together in unison with the others who all serve a greater purpose. This

is a major element that drives the Kingdome of heaven. Christ is just like His Father In the Kingdome that includes the Holy Spirit which they will pour upon all flesh again soon. There are no cowards or sinners in the Kingdome. The angels are not as drones, they are blessed warriors.

Revelation 21:8

8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

1 Corinthians 6:8-10

8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Alkebulan we need to wake up and get right. Black American's of the tribes of Judah, Gad, Reuben, and Issachar you need to aim at my forehead, and scatter my scatter brained grey matter all over the pavement. When Joe Biden told a radio podcaster if you don't vote for me you're not Black, he must be color blind. This vaccine that suspiciously looks like the Mark of Whodunnit. They can plant a microchip in your arm that can track your every move, financial transaction, and possibly your dreams while you sleep. Some Walmart stores are refusing to take cash when you check out; they only take debit, and credit cards. These are signs that we’re living in the End Times. The Last Days. I'm looking at this as a sign to get the hell outta this city, and decompose. What in God's name am I afraid of? Jesus took a beat down like a man on a mission.. You're not weak or simping if you gave your life for a people you fed, healed, gave sight to, preached to, taught them a new way to live, pray, love, told them about a Kingdome greater than Jerusalem, and you didn't kill anybody in the process knowing what they were going to do to your physical body in an almost retarded like bid to destroy their salvation. I've done none of that; my bad. Stop looking for men, especially zaddy to deliver us. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Some of us foolheartedly called Bill Clinton the first Black president when he's not, never can, or will be to me in any sense, Barack wasn't either. Thomas Jefferson, the third elected president, who served two terms between 1801 and 1809 was described as the “son of a half-breed Indian squaw (Black) and a Virginia mulatto father (Black).” Abraham Lincoln, the nation’s 16th president, served between 1861, and 1865. Lincoln had very dark skin, and coarse hair and his mother allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed “Abraham Africanus the First” by his presidential opponents and cartoons were drawn depicting him as a Negro. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Dwight David Eisenhower, and the scourge of the South Andrew Jackson were all n**gahs. I’ll see you come Hanukkah you self-hating black, Uncle Ruckus’s. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, why should I be overjoyed about the genocide, and enslavement of God's people? Christmas is what it is. Hopefully you will celebrate this holiday season together fulfilling God's prophetic word. I can't unless you kill me. The Christmas holiday is as pagan as Joel Osteen is at scamming. David Duke, you might wanna go to ancestry.com, and take a DNA test. You might be 30% Swahili. By the looks of those big, gorilla nostrals you had before that rhinoplasty. You, and Bull Connor may be related to Idi Amin. Your biggest shame is your greatest blessing. Personally you can kiss the skid marks in the middle of my skid marks after I take a fresh dump. Conservative, political pundits, and wannabes whose names I won't mention, but one in particular who looks like he smoked 23 blunts in 15min. with no filter. Please keep him in California, and let him drown with his zaddy, and pancaked tail, bowed hipped women. Use your lips as a floatation device dude. These people are ashamed of the God who has blessed many, and plenty. These people suffer, hopefully not always, from the white savior or white zaddy complex. The truth isn't in any of them, that's why they're so adept at lying when making bold-faced statements before the public that opposes their previous opinion like people don’t have YouTube or google. I’ll Bing a factoid or Yahoo that mother to get the truth I may even pay for it, gimme a dollar. My inability to walk amongst men as a man has stagnated my propensity to live That's BS, my Apostle said something this past Sunday that's stuck on my forehead. YOU'RE LAZY!!! I am what I am, a pain in the rear end. This has gone on way too long. Sometimes

I feel as though God wants me to kill myself because the PO PO won’t. I would feel better if my natural family would stab me in the neck, not my back, with a piece of diseased, pork, spare rib from a boar hog, and let me die from a rare form of trichinosis. The people have spoken while I’m playing Jay, and Silent Bob. Father, get me outta here. Elohim, 9/16/2021

[nostalgicbones]

☕ how well do you think the deh movie portrayed your favorite themes of the show?

ohhh i love this question!! i guess, first i need to identify my favorite themes 🤔 might be spoilers for the deh movie below, if that bothers you!

the mystery of connor and how we as an audience never get to truly know him: you know, i was nervous about this one. i’d been burned by the novel putting canon words in connor’s mouth, and i was worried the addition of a song meant there would be too much added, that it would ruin the feeling of him being a conglomeration of each character’s idea of who he was. but a little closer was one of my favorite additions, it didn’t ruin the effect, it just gave a tiny piece of closure we didn’t get in the musical. i missed ghost connor and disappear but i understand why that wouldn’t translate well to film, and i actually think it made it more clear how little we know of the real connor.

the complexity of grief and how each person responds differently to loss: god, yes. i was nervous about what they’d do with requiem, since it’s staged very abstractly to account for each character’s participation. but when they started showing larry at work, cynthia at the grocery store, how their grief followed them everywhere they went… and zoe, my baby girl, driving recklessly in the hopes of feeling something, anything that isn’t numbness—it really got to me. i also really loved how they made a collage of the voices into a picture of connor in you will be found, leading up to larry breaking down, that made me bawl. i think zoe’s conflicting feelings of trauma from connor’s treatment of her, competing with her desire to have been loved by him anyway, was really apparent in kaitlyn’s performance.

confronting the lies we tell ourselves and others to get through the day: listen, i think this one can be wildly misinterpreted. i don’t think confronting lies is always coming clean, at least in the sense of a public spectacle—but you do need to learn to tell yourself the truth, and make amends to those you’ve hurt personally. anyway, i was a bit disappointed in the lack of jared since he’s the most fluent liar of the bunch. but the addition of the anonymous ones added a new layer of this idea of pretending to be okay, of putting on a mask for everyone around you, that really resonated with me. and evan’s return to ellison park during words fail was heart wrenching and powerful. but evan coming clean online at the end was… unnecessary in my opinion, i’ve never felt the need for a public apology and find it rather disturbing teens growing up these days have their mistakes broadcast for the internet to see.

being enough regardless of your accomplishments or failures: god, the most important piece of the puzzle. this is a thread that runs through every character—and it did come across in the movie, if watered down from the stage version. the lines in disappear were sorely missed, and how nobody knows what they’re doing in anybody have a map. but they nailed it in evan’s arc, how inadequate he feels at the start, and how the lies build him up only to come crashing back down. “i already know you, and i love you” remained, and continues to be a foundational message of the show, i think. alongside “today at least you’re you, and that’s enough” and “he’ll hold on and he’ll keep going (until he sees the sun)”. i really liked how the orchard played out, the simultaneous warmth and distance from zoe hitting just right for me. it’s closure, but in a realistic sense. making peace with the incomplete picture he has of the murphy’s, how he doesn’t get to see them put back together. he hurt them, and he has to live with that, live with himself in the wake of that. and he’s still worth something, he still deserves love and healing himself in spite of it all.

that was really long lol but if you read all that thanks for being interested in my thoughts!! i do think the movie captured the heart of the musical, which is all i could have hoped for. ​it was fun for me to decide what the most important themes are to me, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to do that 🥰

[jamaiskookie]

How To Ask Your Crush Out: A Guide For Dummies [knj x reader]

⚖ warnings: intense amount of crack and very very trashy writing 

⚖ word count: 3.3k (very smol boi today, just wanted to get this little drabble out)

⚖ genre: crackity fluff; my specialty :-)

⚖ A/N: been preparing for halloween so forgive me for the short fic, i’ve been pUMPING out content for you guys recently. 

masterlist asks 

⚖ synopsis: Prof. Kim Namjoon is pleased and delighted to present his new class: How To Ask Your Crush Out For Dummies; A comprehensive, follow-along six step guide for the introverted and shy. 

A triumphant Kim Namjoon jumps into frame in front of the huge chalkboard in a huge lecture hall, holding a piece of white chalk in one hand and a pointer in the other, with a slightly maniacal grin stretched on his face. His black thick rimmed glasses are crooked and skewed, sitting on the bridge of his nose, completely lopsided. He’s been awake for- oh he doesn’t keep count. Possibly 28 hours by now. 

“Good afternoon, everyone!”  (It’s 6 in the morning, and nobody is in the audience.) He stretches out the long, metal chalkboard pointer, who he has named Bertha, and smacks it against the chalkboard. It echoes through the empty hall. He secretly loves the sound the long pointer makes. It’s so satisfying, and the fact that he got it on Amazon Prime for only like 2 dollars makes the sound so much better. 

“Welcome to today’s class!” He’s still talking to an empty room. It might be the desperation in him, or just his good ole’ friend sleep deprivation fueling his somewhat insane behaviour. “Today I am completely focused on solving the greatest mystery I have ever encountered in my lifetime. Arguably, this is the most scrutinised cold case ever seen in the world. Today we’ll be tackling: How To Ask Your Crush Out. Would anybody like to start off by introducing themselves, their crush, and how long you’ve been infatuated? Hm?” Crickets. 

“Ah, there’s nobody here!” Namjoon exclaims cheerfully, as if he only just realised. He swings back, turning to the chalkboard and continues teaching. “My name is Kim Namjoon, or Professor Kim to you,” Again, completely empty room. “And I have had a crush on Y/N L/N for almost two years now.” His smile falters when he realises it really has been two whole years. Clearing his throat, he smacks an A3 sized picture of a pretty girl onto the chalkboard. 

You are wearing a long cardigan sweater in the photo, candidly reading with headphones wrapped around your neck. Namjoon has written a barely visible small ‘Y/N, October 4th’ on the top corner of the picture. He’s always had a bit of a photography hobby, but his pictures always seem to turn out better when you are the subject. 

It’s a bit odd how you look so much better when you don’t know he’s taking a photo. All the selfies and old pictures from university he has of you are just as beautiful, but there’s something ethereal about you in your natural state. Sitting down and reading a book in a library. That photo is miles better than any of the stupidly extensive photo-ops you plan out for your Instagram pictures. He stares at the photo before turning back to the (imaginary) class. 

“Let me introduce the- as the kids say- lomél. I believe this is an abbreviation for Love Of My Life. L-O-M-L, if anybody wants to write the spelling down.” He swerves Bertha around to point at your picture. “This,” He says, seriously. “Is Y/N L/N, my… my friend since freshman year of university. I have never confessed my feelings to her, despite trying many, many times. Today, we’re going to trouble-shoot and hopefully solve this problem, while examining a shy person’s abilities to socialise and freely have a love life.”  Namjoon ignores the small voice in his head that mentions how a successful Philosophy professor who speaks in front of hundreds of students every day such as himself should be able to say ‘I like you’ to the girl he’s had a painfully obvious crush on for the past two years. 

“Step ONE:” Namjoon yells, writing a big ‘1’ on the chalkboard. “Do not start off a confession by mentioning a Confucius quote if your crush is not in the philosophy or ethics community! They will not understand no matter how obvious it is!” On the chalkboard, he draws an old man with droopy eyebrows and huge beard- Confucius. Then he draws a huge circle around it and crosses it out with a line using so much force he almost breaks the piece of chalk in his hand. 

“In fact, just don’t mention anything about philosophers! And don’t try to confess to them through a math problem, they will not understand!” Namjoon winces. He learned that one the hard way. (He asked you to isolate ‘1’ in ⅓ < 3, which is a seventh-grade level inequality. You had pushed him away and yelled at him for making you do math. The answer to the inequality equation would have been 1 < 3u.) ((1 < 3u = I <3 you. He thought it was pretty obvious.)) 

He draws a subtraction and addition sign and draws another circle, crossing through it. 

“Step TWO!” Namjoon shouts, cringing at the horrible scratchy noise the chalk makes against the board. “If you do get the chance to confess to them and manage to get through without substantially embarrassing yourself, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT laugh and agree if they ask if you are joking! They will! Laugh along with you! While you try! To hide your pain!” 

“I cannot emphasise this enough!” Namjoon is basically screaming by now. He hopes nobody from campus comes in to complain. The picture of you on the board with the symbols that he’s drawn along with the big ‘FLIRTING AND DATING 101’ written on the top of the board could lead to some severe misunderstandings. “Do not laugh if that ever happens again- I mean, if it ever happens to you! It’s more likely than you would think if you are in love with a dumbass! It will happen! Misinterpretations and concerns will happen! Learn from them!” Namjoon writes a huge ‘laughing to hide the pain = bad ❌’ onto the board. 

“Does anybody have any questions?” More crickets. 

“Okay then, moving on!” Namjoon writes a ‘3’ below the notes for step 2. “Step THREE: Confessing via call, facetime, or handwritten letter would be optimal for the average introvert. I suggest a handwritten letter would be best for this kind of confession. Still not ideal, but it gets the job done. Can someone tell me why a handwritten letter would be better than a call, facetime, or anything on the internet?” Without waiting for his non-existent introvert class to respond, he snaps his fingers, a satisfied look on his face. “That’s right! Facetiming or hearing your crush’s voice would be too nerve wracking and inevitably, you’ll mess up and say something like ‘Did you know that Barbie’s real name is Barbara Millicent Roberts’ instead of ‘I’ve liked you for two years’...  I do not speak from experience.” 

Awkwardly, he clears his throat again, averting his eyes from literally nobody. “Texting would not be good! Texting is considered insensitive and is not a good way to confess your feelings. If the idea of a face to face confession is too intimidating or not ideal in your introverted situation, the aforementioned options would be your best choices. I strongly advise you to stick to those three. In order of a likelihood for a successful confession, it goes: Letter, facetime, then call.” He writes ‘letter > facetime > call > speaking in real life (?)’ on the board.

“hoWEVER,” He says, pointing at the large ‘3’ he wrote with Bertha. “If you do end up choosing to write a handwritten letter- write this down, this is an important note- do NOT forget to sign your name! Your crush will end up throwing it away thinking it’s a random admirer or a prank. MAKE SURE TO WRITE THIS DOWN!” On the board, he writes down ‘My name → Kim Namjoon.’ He nods thoughtfully. “Yes,” He says. “It’s important to write your name.” He mutters it over and over, staring glazed at the words written on the board. 

Close to bursting into tears, he grabs a hold of his hair and cradles his head in his hands. “Why didn’t you write your fucking name, Namjoon?” He frustratingly mutters to himself. Sighing, he puts his hands on his waist, marvelling at what he’d written so far. The peaceful silence doesn’t last for very long. 

“STEP NUMBER FOUR!” It’s not like him to be so loud. It’s probably a good, balanced combination of his lack of sleep and being alone with his inner thoughts. He’s pretty sure he has an alternate personality who thinks he’s Freud. Freud occasionally throws in some pretty deep psychoanalysis prompts for him to consider when he can’t sleep. 

“If… And only if you build up the courage to ask her out in person-! Well, firstly, congratulations, we’re all very proud of you. Secondly, do it in public! You might be thinking, Professor Kim, why on earth would I want to do it in public? Getting rejected in public is so much more horrible!? Well, BELIEVE ME, UNBELIEVERS- Getting rejected in public is sO much better than getting rejected in private! Due to our tendency to not draw attention to ourselves and the way we like to shrink in public, it’s much more likely that we won’t break down in tears if we get rejected in public! Well, once you get back home, you might start breaking down, so maybe this is just a temporary solution, but it’s still better than sobbing in front of your crush when you devastatingly get rejected!” 

Knitting his brows together, Namjoon corrects himself. “Not when you get devastatingly rejected, sorry. If. If. Yes, if. If you get devastatingly rejected. Come to think of it, in a purely logical way, you have a 50/50 chance of succeeding in your confession. ‘I like you, do you like me?’ That’s a yes or no question, isn’t it? A confession is exactly the same as flipping a coin! You have a 50% chance of getting heads, 50% chance of getting tails. Either way, you get on with your life despite getting heads or tails. So… the odds are kinda in your favour!” 

“Except when you flip a coin, you wouldn’t get nervous to the point where you accidentally push the coin into a mud filled pond where the coin’s favourite shirt got ruined so then the coin proceeded to ignore you for the next two weeks, making it the most miserable two weeks of your entire life… But that probably won’t happen again.” Namjoon mutters underneath his breath.  “Coins don’t wear shirts anyways.” Somehow, that seemed to comfort him. He writes down ‘coins can’t wear shirts’ on the chalkboard. 

“Step number FIVE!” Namjoon shakes his head, taking a sip of the espresso that’s been sitting on his desk for hours. “What was step number five agai- oh right. Step number five: look your best!” Namjoon catches sight of his reflection and winces. “Okay, maybe I don’t have a great example right now.” He reaches up and runs his fingers through his hair, almost puking when he feels the amount of grease and gunk buried in his scalp. He should probably shower. And get some sleep. His eye bags do not look very attractive right now. Maybe he should get a haircut too, it’s kinda getting wild up there. In his own defence, he’s been standing in this exact pair of sweatpants and glasses for the past couple hours, so he smells a tiny bit. Don’t girls like it when guys wear grey sweatpants? Frowning, Namjoon makes a mental note to do some research later on. 

“Shower, change, put in contacts, cologne, flowers…” Namjoon starts writing a to-do list onto his small notebook. “Would she like flowers, actually? Is it misogynistic of a guy to bring flowers or is it just a cute, nice gesture? Am I overthinking this?” His phone vibrates in the middle of his feminism breakdown, and he pats his back pockets before realising his phone was across the table. He grunts as he leans over to pick it up, and thoughtlessly, he accepts the call and brings it up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Your voice is both a comfort and a shock to hear so early in the morning. He can already see you sighing aloud and scrunching up your nose cutely, a habit you picked up from him himself. He does it when he’s embarrassed, but you do it when you’re angry. It doesn’t really work because now whenever you get mad he just swoons and gushes over your cute nose and chubby cheeks. 

“aH- Um… What time is it?” Namjoon fumbles around, jumping up. 

“It’s like 7 in the morning? Hello, you promised to come workout with me today? Come open your door, I’ve been ringing your doorbell for forever, but I think it’s broken. I’ll call the repair guy for you later.” Namjoon lets out a nervous laugh, guiltily looking at his shoes even though he knows you can’t even see what he’s doing right now. 

“It’s already seven? Wow, time flies really fast. I’m- ” He yawns, bringing the phone away from his ear for a moment. “- really tired.” A beat passes by. How is it possible that he can hear you get angry at him from here?

“Namjoon.” Another awkward laugh rings through the lecture hall. 

“Ahahha. - Yes?” 

“Are you at work right now?” You ask, voice suddenly turning stone cold. 

“Um, well, that’s a debatable question. See, is it really, honestly my work if I love doing it? Sure, it makes me a living, but of course I don’t consider it to be my workplace, you know? Like, I get to come in and do what I love every single day, educating the next generation. It’s actually a really bad mindset because once you refer to your job as ‘work’ you don’t-”

“Namjoon.”

“Okay yes, I’m at work.” He relents, pushing his glasses up and sighing. 

“Joon, it’s seven! Like, seven in the morning! Have you been in there since you clocked in yesterday morning?” You ask worriedly. 

“Uhh, I think so?” To be honest, he’s been here for two nights already, crashing out on a beanbag and brushing his teeth in the staff bathroom when he needs to. 

“Namjoon!” He mumbles out an apology. “What the hell could you have been doing in there? You don’t even have that many classes this week!” Namjoon lets his eyes trail over to the chalkboard, then back down to his notebook. 

“Uh… it’s kinda complicated?”  

“Okay, okay, I’ll come home now, don’t worry!” He says, even before you can demand he take care of himself. Sometimes, you’re just a teensy bit overbearing. It’s a messed up miracle he managed to fall in love with you in the first place. 

“Be careful, okay? It’s flu season, too, so you really can’t be this reckless! You’re literally going to drive me into an early grave, for fuck’s sakes. You’re always fussing over how overworked I am, so how could you not take care of yourself? That’s so hippo- hypo- ugh, what’s the word?” 

“Hypocritical.” Namjoon says into the phone while packing up his things. 

“Hypocritical, yes. You better be here in ten minutes or less, Kim. Come home, take a shower and then sleep. I’m guessing you have done neither of those things since yesterday.” Namjoon doesn’t have the decency or humility to give you an honest answer, so he just stays silent. His eyes are still fixed on the chalkboard. Where was he at when your phone call interrupted? Ah, yes. Step number six: ‘I love you.’ Step number six was a piece of advice he had gotten from Min Yoongi, a music theory professor who taught just a couple minutes away from Namjoon’s office. He’s been dating Jung Hoseok, another mutual friend of Namjoon’s, for a few years now. 

“What do you mean?” Yoongi just blinked when Namjoon asked him, stared blankly at him, lips threatening to pull up into a smirk. 

“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” Namjoon said, huffing. “How did you confess to Hobi?” 

“Bro,” Yoongi said, now freely laughing at Namjoon. “If you can’t confess to her, just wait until you get around to thinking about proposing. Never been more nervous in my life, swear to god.” Namjoon had never been a violent type. Up until he met Yoongi. 

“Just- tell me how you did it, would you?” Yoongi gave a rare, small smile and beckoned him closer. He leaned in, about to tell Namjoon a big secret. 

“Just say it.” He whispered into Namjoon’s ear. Namjoon rolled his eyes, pulled away and rested his head on the sofa. 

“That’s the most useless thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“No it’s not!” Yoongi also leaned back into his seat. “Just say it. ‘I love you.’ It’s nothing difficult. Just say it!” Namjoon scoffed and left, but Yoongi called something out while he was walking away. “Hey, you’re going to lose her if you don’t do anything.” Namjoon froze, but continued to walk. Yoongi watched, two seconds later, amused as Namjoon came rushing back in, sat himself down on the sofa and demanded Yoongi tell him everything he needed to know. 

Thus, his six steps were born. 

If Min Yoongi, a person who is possibly even more shy and even more introverted than Namjoon, (Which is a big feat) can ‘just say it’, he should be able to do it easily. Namjoon nods to himself, rolling his head back and cracking a neck bone. 

Taking a deep breath, he speaks into the phone. 

“Hey, I have something to tell you.” 

“It can wait,” You say. It’s so like you to ruin a love confession, Namjoon thinks, laughing. “Come home, go sleep for a couple hours, then we can talk. It’s not important, is it?” He stares at the chalkboard, letting out a satisfied exhale. 

“Nope.” He says. “Not that important. I’ll tell you later.” 

“Okay,” He hears you grunt from the other side of the phone, shuffling around. “Hey, I’m gonna hang up first, I’ll wait for you to get here. Where’s your spare key again?” 

“Underneath the compartment in the hanging plant. Yeah- the one above the front door.” He hears the familiar jingle of his keys and your adorable ‘a-ha!’ from the phone, and his smile stretches wider. 

“Ohh, okay, got it. Thanks! You don’t mind if I go in first, right?” 

“Nah.” 

“Okay, bye!” Before he says it back, you hang up, and he’s left with an annoying beeping sound that repeats in his ear. He misses you, Namjoon muses to himself. He hasn’t seen you for much too long. Happily, he skips to the back of the lecture hall. (which he then immediately regrets when he finds out his legs don’t work properly after staying in the exact same position for hours without end.) He doesn’t even mind that you’ll see him in this horrendous state if he gets to see you fuss over him again. Your soft side coming out is like spotting a rare bonsai tree on sale in a run-down store- extremely special and only happens once in a while. 

Okay, that analogy was really bad, he just really wanted to mention his bonsai trees.

He spares one last glance to the filled chalkboard. With good luck, nobody will walk in and see that mess all over the board. He’d probably get fired. 

“I love you.” He says to himself. Maybe Yoongi was right. It does sound pretty easy. Namjoon walks out of the lecture hall, switching off the lights and running off to see you. 

Kim Namjoon’s Six Steps Towards Confessing Your Love: Introvert Edition

Do not refer to anything academic or clever in your confession. 

Do not laugh when they ask if you are joking once you confess. 

Letter > facetime > call

Confess in public. 

Look your best!

Just say it. 

⚖  wanna talk to professor!joon? or add yourself to the taglist?

[krreader]

BTS scenario → asking you out after you successfully finish a collab together.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: / genre: fluff word count: 1.3k+

a/n: I hope this is what you wanted my love and I hope you like it ♥

kim seokjin

The collab had been highly anticipated ever since it got announced that Jin would work with you.

Not just because everyone knew that it would be good because you were one half of the collab, but because people thought it was finally time for Jin to shine and work with someone as recognized as you. He deserved that.. his talent was worth that and so much more.

But nobody had anticipated the collab more than Jin himself. Because he liked you. 

He liked you a lot.

And he wasn't shy about that, had been dropping hints throughout the entire process, but wanted to wait for it all to be done and remain semi-professional before he finally asked: “Do you want to have dinner with me?”

“How could I refuse you after you literally sang your heart out for our collab?” you smiled at him and in that moment, it was as if time slowed down for Jin.

Maybe it was the high he had experienced throughout the last two weeks that he's been with you, but in that moment it felt like he had finally found what he had been looking for, but hadn't even realized he was searching for something.

A missing piece in his life.

Well.. he found it.

min yoongi

“I really didn't think your fans would like it this much.. but then again, you've worked with a bunch of female artists before and they accepted.. well.. most of them.”

Yoongi chuckled when he thought back to Suran, “Yeah.. they misinterpreted some collabs.”

“They seem to think we're good friends. I'm glad.”

Yoongi looked at you for a very long time, “But they misinterpret that as well.”

You looked up at him in confusion, “What?”

“The song is a major success, there's no work left to do so..  how about a drink?”

He didn't have to straight up ask you out, what he said before and what he was saying now made it clear that he was interested in more than just your voice for his track. This was about something personal and it took you until now to realize that.

“Alright.. let's get a drink,” you accepted in the end with the corner of your mouth curled into a smile.

jung hoseok

Usually Hoseok celebrated successes such as this one by doing a VLIVE either on his own or with his band members.

But not tonight.

Tonight he wanted to celebrate the success with the one that helped him create this masterpiece. The one that he's been yearning for for so long.

“I'm really happy,” Hoseok admitted with a huge grin, “The MV was so successful and now we're on a date..”

You chuckled, very flattered that he'd say that, “I'm the lucky one.. you want to work with me and you want to go out with me? I wonder what I did right in my last life.”

Ah, it was so cheesy, but you really meant it.

Hoseok was a good guy, a talented guy.. you were the one that lucked out here.

kim namjoon

Namjoon had so many artists that he wanted to work with one day, but being able to do a song with you was definitely one of the best experiences he's ever had, not just because he secretly had a crush on you, but because your creativity was something that Namjoon often looked up to.

The song was as successful as it was expected from the two of you working together, the process had been a blast and you and Namjoon had gotten along so well.

But just before he flew back to Korea, you asked: “So.. are you going to ask or should I do it?”

Namjoon let out a laugh, a little flustered when he realized what this was about from the way you were smirking, “That obvious, huh?”

“A little,” you shrugged, but with a smile, “Or maybe I'm just selfish and want you to ask because I'm really interested too.”

“Well then, thank you for being selfish and.. do you want to go out with me?”

“Woooow, for real?” you laughed and hooked your arms with his, “I never would have expected you to ask that.”

Namjoon grinned.

park jimin

Creatively, you were the complete opposite of Jimin. Whereas his concept was often the soft mochi, your career was revolving more around the concept of female badass.

And maybe that's why the song ended up being so good, because your voices fit, for some reason, perfectly.

Opposites did attract. Not just on a personal level, but on a creative level too.

“We should celebrate,” Jimin said all of a sudden, turning his head to look at you, “Dinner?”

“Dinner.. with..-?” you looked around, then looked back at him with a grin when you realized it was only you and him, “Dinner with each other? Aw, Jimin, are you finally asking me out?”

“Stop this,” he blushed a little, but smiled nevertheless, “I wasn't sure if you were interested at first.”

“But now you're sure?” you narrowed your eyes at him, but then decided not to tease him any further and started laughing, “You can be. Let's have dinner!”

kim taehyung

This song and this music video was not something anybody had expected.

Other members had done collabs with artists overseas, but Taehyung had pretty much held back in that sense. But he couldn't let the opportunity pass to record something with you when it came up. He would have hated himself if he had.

So because it was a surprise to everyone, people celebrated it, loved and appreciated it.

Taehyung had put so much effort in it. His clothes, his hair, his dance, his singing.. everything was downright perfect.

And even though some scenes in this MV were a little.. well.. let's call it 'romantic', ARMY's still appreciated the creativeness behind it and saw it more as that than Taehyung making a romantic collab with a female.

But.. they would have been right to suspect something this time.

“Coffee, hm?” you smirked knowingly, “But you don't drink coffee.”

Taehyung chuckled, “I'll have tea. I just want to spend some private time together.”

“Keep talking and you're going to make it sound more and more like you want to get me into bed.”

He didn't even bat an eyelash at that, he just smirked like you had smirked before.

Jeez, there was no getting out of this one, huh?

jeon jeongguk

Jeongguk was an interesting person, someone that had intrigued you as an artist ever since you first started hearing about KPOP.

He seemed to be sweet and innocent, but the moment he got on stage, his persona was an entirely different one. You had followed his – and that of his band's, of course – career throughout the last year or two and were a big fan, but had never publicly said any of that. Still, when none other than Jeongguk himself was the one who got in touch with you to ask whether you'd be interested in a collab, you didn't even think twice about doing it.

The whole process had been going so smoothly, you both contributed in the writing and making of the song and when you first sat down together, it was as if you were old friends, instantly clicking despite the language barrier.

The more you got to know him, the more you started liking him though. It wasn't just his looks that you were attracted to, it was his personality that made you want to get closer. And the thing is.. it wasn't just one-sided.

During the making of the MV, there were a lot more touches than necessary and it was more often than not that the director told Jeongguk to be careful, because certain touches might not be appreciated by his fans.

Nevertheless, the MV turned out to be fantastic, the scenes were just amazingly put together with the song and everyone lived for it.

“I thought others would be coming too,” you said when you clinked glasses with Jeongguk in celebration of your success.

“I.. felt like this was overdue. Just you and me.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, then smirked, “Jeon Jeongguk. Is this a date?”

He just grinned into his glass, giving you the answer you wanted to get.

[helloprettybb]

at least

I have series ideas and everything but have very little motivation so here’s a super angsty piece. I’m sorry, but thinking about Steve going back for Peggy makes me emotional. Also, this gif doesn’t really make sense, but it fits the sad mood.

warnings: tons of angst, description of death, endgame spoilers if that’s a thing

word count: 1.2k

The compound is destroyed and the formally pristine lawn is unrecognizable. Even though you won the battle, bodies of people that you don’t know still laid on the ground. 

Tony is dead. You watched the life drain from his body as he said his final words to Pepper. Your heart hurts at the loss of a mentor, friend, and father figure.

As much pain as you feel, you don’t summon any tears. Maybe it’s from the shock or relief that you won, but you can’t feel anything and it scares you. Your eyes are locked on Tony’s lifeless ones. All you feel is hollowness like someone carved your heart out. 

You remove your eyes from Tony, you search for some kind of comfort. Scanning the battlefield, you find it in the form of a worn-out soldier. Steve’s eyes, usually bright and brimming with enthusiasm, are solemn and shell-shocked. You don’t have to say anything for Steve to walk over and wrap you in his arms. You close your eyes and rest your forehead on his shoulder. Ignoring all the blood and injuries, the two of you stay like that.

At least you have Steve.

- You hang your head solemnly, trying to hold back tears. The funeral is harder than you thought if that was even possible. When the first person started talking, you could feel the tears emerge. You learned some new things and heard old stories about Tony. Some made you laugh while others made you roll your eyes, but all of them amplified the pain in your heart.

Your thoughts begin to spiral and you find your resolve breaking. You think of Pepper being left a widow and you cry your first tear. You try to tell yourself that she’s a strong woman and she can get through this, but then you think of Morgan and you sob quietly. 

The small, precious girl that you’ve grown to love won’t have a father. The only memories she’ll have of Tony will be muddled and faded as she ages. Sure, she’ll have stories from others and the internet, but it won’t be the same. She’ll never know Tony like you did.

You feel a strong, firm hand grab yours. You didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. You grab Steve’s hand and turn your head towards his body. He doesn’t say anything, opting to caress your knuckles lightly. The speaker’s words fade out as you think about his warm hand in yours.

At least you have Steve. - With the compound destroyed, you didn't have anywhere to stay. Luckily, Pepper was kind enough to offer you a room at their cabin. After the funeral, you locked yourself in your temporary bedroom and cried. After a couple of hours, you felt exhausted from sobbing and instantly fell asleep.

You awoke to drier tear ducts dried out and less puffy eyes. Checking the clock on the nightside, you see that it's past midnight. You leave your room and head to the kitchen. You haven't eaten since the funeral and your grumbling stomach reminds you that it's been nearly thirteen hours. 

You tip-toe down the stairs to try to be courteous to Pepper and Morgan. Once you reach the bottom of the steps, you sneak to the kitchen and immediately head toward the fridge. You're greeted by a bright blue light and an abundant amount of food. Rummaging for whatever you're craving, you hear the light switch turn on.

"I forgot that I wasn't the only person with a sleeping problem." You could recognize that commanding yet playful tone anywhere. Grabbing one last item from the fridge, you close the door and turn toward Steve.

"I'd wager that most of us have a sleeping problem, Rogers," you respond half-jokingly, still finding it hard to cheer up. Steve smiles and you can feel your chest easing slightly.

"I want to tell you something." Steve states. His vagueness simultaneously worries and intrigues you. 

Steve clears his throat and starts, "You've become one of my closest friends. You helped me adjust to the modern world and I could never thank you enough for it." Steve says, you nodding along. 

"That's why I wanted to tell you..." Is Steve going to confess his feelings? "I'm staying with Peggy when I return the stones." Luckily, your years of training taught you how to control your face because otherwise, you would have started crying right then and there. You don't say anything and Steve asks, "Y/n?" "Yeah, sorry, I'm just surprised." Forcing a positive tone, you add, "I'm really happy for you."

Steve smiles and continues, "Thanks."

He starts to get up and you ask, "Have you told anybody else?"

"Just Bucky," he replies and you nod. You know he can sense your sadness, but he probably misinterprets it when he says, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." Steve gives one last quick smile and begins to walk away. 

"Hey," you call a little louder than you should.

Steve stops and asks, "Yes?"

You should confess your feelings. You probably won't see him ever again and he needs to know. " I uh..." you stutter, feeling your chest tighten and hands clench. The words I love you, Steve run through your head as you try to gather your thoughts.

"Just wanted to say, thank you for consoling me during Tony's funeral. I didn't know I would get that emotional," you say instead.

Maybe Steve expected something else because you see a flash of disappointment before he says, "You're welcome. Emotions don't make you weak, y'know?"

You smile a little sadly and respond, "I know, Steve." 

You thought you had Steve. - Bruce is firing up the machine. The pain of being that close to Steve when he leaves forever would be too much to bear, so you opted to watch from across the way. You were still close enough to hear Banner spouting instructions and informing Steve. He reassures Bruce that he'll clip all the branches. You shake your head slightly, if you were in a lighter mood, you might have laughed. Even at such a serious time, Steve can still make a joke or two.

"You know, I tried." Bruce starts, "When I had the gauntlet, the stones. I really tried bringing her back." You knew who he was talking about and it cracked your already broken heart. When you learned that your return, along with everyone's, cost Natasha her life, you didn't know what to feel. There were so many emotions welling up inside that it seemed your mind couldn't decide. You were already fragile from Tony's death, so Natasha's was just the nail in the coffin. Your body never experienced so much grief in such a short time and it chose to shut down. 

"I miss her, man," Bruce adds after a thoughtful pause.

"Me too," Steve responds. Steve steps onto the platform and you watch as the white suit engulfs his navy one.

Before he puts the helmet on, Steve locks eyes with you one last time. He shoots a sad smile and you match it. When the helmet is fully around his head, you turn around before you can watch him disappear forever.

At least she had Steve.

[ohwaitimthewriter]

Ner naak (My peace)

Pairing : Din Djarin x earthling!reader

Warning : none

Summarize : Din Djarin meets you, an earthling, with no idea of the existence of an outer space. 

Words : 1795

A/n : Hello there! So here it is, the chapter 4! I feel that this chapter is very slow, I mean, the timeframe. I don’t know how many chapters this series will have because I want to keep it like this, in a slow motion. I hope you don’t mind! Otherwise, enjoy your reading!

Masterlist. // Ner naak Masterlist.

"Welcome to my home!" 

Din was observing your entrance from floor to ceiling. You could see him linger on certain features, such as the carpet under his feet or the vintage chandelier hanging from the ceiling. He seemed enthralled. Then he noticed a picture frame. Your family was there. You were there too, next to your father. He took it in his hand, looking carefully at the picture. 

"This is my family." You said. 

"Do they live here?" He was worried.

"No. My father died five years ago and my mother went to the mountains to get some fresh air. It's just me! "And your dog sniffed at you, jostling you slightly. "And Banjo, of course," you laughed. 

He put the picture back in its place as you got rid of your jacket and shoes in a closet. 

"Please make yourself at home, the bedroom is upstairs on the right and the bathroom's down the corridor, I'll make some food and..." 

"You don't have to." He cut you off. 

"Huh, aren't you hungry?" You asked.

"No, just for the little one." He said. 

You were puzzled for a moment and suddenly you heard his stomach grumbling. You raised an eyebrow, with a slight smirk on your face. 

" Your stomach said the opposite. Don't worry, I love to cook, so for two or three it makes no difference. "You said. 

"No, I, huh, I can't." He said. 

"You on a special diet? No problem, I can adapt, tell me..."

"That's not..." He sighed. "I can't take my helmet off." 

" So, you're really stuck in there?" You teased. 

"Sort of." He agreed. 

It made you smile, but you understood. You invited him to venture further into your little house, offering to settle down in your living room. 

"I'll prepare a tray for you." He was about to protest, but you stopped him in his tracks. "I'm going to bed early, I'm exhausted and then tomorrow I'll get up early to get all the pieces for your ship, you'll have the house all to yourself." You finished as you headed towards the kitchen. 

Din felt like an idiot. An idiot because he was grateful to you for accepting his condition so easily. He didn't know how he could repay you, he had no idea, so he felt like an idiot for having to accept kindness from an earthling. Especially from an earthling, in fact. The rumors were so unfounded that they were becoming ridiculous around you. He wanted to return the favour, he wanted to thank you but not knowing how, drove him crazy. 

And then you suddenly stuck your head out of the kitchen door. 

"By the way, I knew I'd forgotten something... My name is y/n!" 

He said nothing but nodded. You left to take care of the meal, but a few minutes later, when you didn't hear him say his name back, you put your head back in the doorway. 

"I guess if I can't see your face, I can't know your name, but what can I call you?" You asked. 

Your eyes literally burned with goodwill and it was the first time Din felt deeply touched by it. He laid the child comfortably on the sofa before he joined you in the kitchen. 

"Mando." he said. 

"Mando?" you asked back. "It's fine with me." 

You were focused on the meal, a number of ingredients were spread out on the table and you seemed to know exactly which ingredients mixed perfectly with one another. Din watched you juggle with ease between the kitchen tools. It has been a very long time since he has seen someone cooking and watching you do it brought him back to the time when he was just a child. He had very little memory of the pre-war period, but he remembered the smell of a good homemade meal that was still steaming. 

You took one look at him and seeing him follow your actions with such interest made you smile. You wondered if he would like to help you and as you were preparing a quiche, a simple meal, you held a knife to him, pointing the leeks at the end of the table. 

"Would you mind cutting the leeks for me?" You said.

His helmet glinted with confusion. He looked at the knife, he looked at the green and white stems that you had shown then, he looked at you. Maybe you had misinterpreted his wish, but you were convinced that he wanted it. You could tell from the way he behaved. He had come closer to the table with one hand on the table and he had studied your every move carefully. 

He stared at you and the knife and then decided to take it gently. You smiled kindly at him, rummaging through a cupboard and pulling out a cutting board which you put in front of him, then you grabbed the leeks and brought them closer to him. 

"It's very simple," you began. "You cut here, at the edge of the green and the white part, then you cut the white part into small dice and you put them in there." You pointed to the colander.

He nodded slowly as if he was still trying to grasp what you were asking him and waited for you to lose interest in him before hesitantly giving his first cut. 

Your dog had decided to join you and he sat at Mando's feet, watching him attentively. Din was so focused in his task that he had not even noticed him until he felt an insistent look on him. He looked down at the dog, who seemed to mock Din's caution with these pieces of leek, which definitely did not look like small dice. 

"Stop looking at me." He said. 

Your dog's tail began to wag gently against the ground, and he tilted his head to the side, listening carefully to what Mando intended to say to him.

"Go away." he added. 

Din wasn't comfortable, but your dog had another idea in mind, and he moved even closer to Din, who slammed the knife against the table as he tried to move away from him. The jingling drew your attention and Mando turned to you, a question mark hanging on his helmet. 

"I think he wants you to pet him." You said, with a smile on your face. 

"To pet... him?" 

"Yes, scratch his head, he'll leave you alone afterwards." You said.

Mando lowered his head back to your dog. Banjo was still staring at him intensely. He'd come closer again, sitting up straight at Mando's feet, and Din obviously didn't know how to do it. Mando looked at you again and you nodded to encourage him while you finished mixing the ingredients together.

Din was looking at the dog. It was a very strange thing for him. Certainly not the strangest he'd ever seen, but strange in the way it behaved. He seemed very affectionate towards you and the child, affectionate and playful. But Din had also seen the fangs in his mouth when the animal had only yawned. 

He stared at the dog and slowly directed his hand to the top of his skull. Instinctively, he had tightened his fingers around the handle of the knife on the table as he hesitantly placed his gloved fingertips into Banjo's fur. He scratched it for a second before removing his hand and satisfied with the semblance of affection Mando had just given him, your dog went into the living room. 

"I told you." You said, with a smile on your lips.

You took the pieces of leek that were actually more chopped than diced and added them to the preparation before putting them in the oven. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Mando apologized for the state of the leeks. 

"No, thank you for preparing them." You said. 

You leaned against the counter before you stared at Mando. 

" Can I ask you a question?" You said.

Mando nodded. You were about to speak, but your mouth didn't seem to find the right question. In fact, you had so many that you didn't know where to start. How could you know where to start anyway? You were looking at someone from elsewhere. An elsewhere so vast, both frightening and magnificent. Mando was waiting for your question, but he could see you looking for the words you needed. He waited patiently for you to come out of your thoughts, but he noticed that you were lost in what you were supposed to ask him. 

"Why the helmet?" He ventured out. 

" Yeah, I think we'll start with that." You nodded quickly, relieved that he'd taken the lead. 

And then you listened to what he had to say. He didn't really go into details, but you knew enough to understand why he couldn't take his helmet off and where he came from.  And that was enough. At least for now. 

"It must be incredible." You said. 

Mando had sat in a chair during his story and you were checking if the quiche was cooked. Din didn't quite understand what you meant at first, so he kept quiet until you went on.

"I mean, to be able to travel in space. You know, everybody here dreams about it, but I don't think anybody's really ready for it. In fact, people aren't ready at all. They're so afraid of the unknown that they'd lose their minds just at the thought." You conclude. 

" Still, you seem okay. " Mando noted. 

"I don't count." you laughed. 

"Why?" 

You shrugged. Maybe it was because you never really felt at home. Maybe it was because you always felt like you were missing something, but you had never been able to put a finger on what it was. 

"Maybe I'm already part of the unknown." You joked.

You finally get the quiche out of the oven. Its perfume spread quickly around the room and you noticed Mando taking a deep breath. He enjoyed the light smell of the food and his stomach growled a little more at the thought of taking a bite of this homemade pie. 

"You don't sound like the rumors." Mando said. 

"The rumors?" You asked as you cut several slices of quiche. 

"About earthlings. There's a lot of stories about you." he said.

"How come the universe knows about us, but not us about you?"

Mando sighed. He knew why, and it saddened him that he had to tell you because you were far from what the rest of the galaxy was saying. 

"Earthlings are considered pets, stupid, self-centered, haughty and highly judgmental." Mando said. 

"At least that makes me feel better about one thing." You said.

"Which is?"

"Well, they're not so different from us after all." 

Tags list : @thanoshadtosnaptwiceforyou​ @thefandomzoneisdangerous @fortunatelywaywardsandwich @painkiller80 @fabiola-betancourt @creedtheconquer @junkersandroadies-son @iamnothome @mjlock @letsgetwhitegirlwasteeed @imagineherbrightskies @rosierades @loztp3 @whovianayesha @deputy-videogamer @quirky-ravenclaw-yeet @s-v-e-l-t-e-e @deficilimbecile @shutter-bug124 @slashscowboyboots @mymindismyprisionandicantescape @maldo559 @dyn-jarrens-yn @oh-no-a-whovian @wolf-lover74 @shutthefuckupdemons @imabookworm31  @readsalot73 @bookwormmarvel @artsyzar @fleurdemiel145 @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte @theforceofdarkandlight @go-commander-kim @drinkfantasy @ignimbritetcax @aeryntheofficial @lokilover-39 @rebelwriter95 @pitrymcbride @retrobhaddie @sammachu @helloimindelaware @emyyjemyy

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about WandaVision

Y'know, it's kind of crazy to think that it's been over a year since we've been given any content involving the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel Studios announced so many great movies, on top of new TV shows that actually impact the story, way back in the summer of 2019. But then 2020 happened. Resulting in everything, and I mean everything, we were promised getting pushed back for another year. So, when it was finally announced that the series WandaVision was, at last, ready to be released, fans were both excited as well as skeptical. Because the first thing that would reintegrate us back into this franchise would be a show about how two Avengers are stuck in a sitcom. It might be new, long-awaited content, but it also doesn't sound all that interesting. Could a story involving two characters who have yet to stand on their own be enough to carry a brand new adventure? Well, for eight whole weeks, fans were given that answer. And personally, I will admit that WandaVision might have been better than anybody could have ever expected...for the most part.

(Final spoiler warning if you haven't seen the show yet)

WHAT I LIKE

It Just Goes: This is easily the best way the series could have started. We are given no context about what is going on. We're just shown that Wanda and Vision are currently stuck in a sitcom, and that's it. By making it a mystery, fans are given this sort of interaction with the series as they find clues and come up with theories about how and why this happened. Sure, some assumptions were more far fetched than others (did people think Mephisto was confirmed just because of one misinterpreted line involving the Devil?), but it still makes the show a ton of fun to watch. Plus, even when we're given answers, it's only tiny pieces of the puzzle. We're always given a chance to figure out the bigger picture, resulting in an image that is, I'll admit, somewhat satisfying to see. Just as long as you ignore the crybabies who get upset that their favorite theories turned out to be wrong.

The Homages are on Point: I also love how straight the cast and crew play with the idea of two superheroes being stuck in a series of sitcoms. Everything they use fits in the era each sitcom takes place in. With things like camerawork, set design, special effects, acting quality, tropes, and even theme songs, everything works as a proper homage than just having two episodes in black and white and the rest in color. Each new sitcom that Wanda and Vision are rebooted in feels so genuine, to the point where they seem like they could be actual shows that could have existed. Seriously, my dad showed me stuff like The Dick Van Dyke Show when I was a kid, so trust me when I say that the very first episode nails the style that it's honoring. Not only is it charming as all forms of hell, but it also works in making these moments when characters break from the spell (get it) all the more jarring and even disturbing at times. Because when you're so keen on watching what seems like a fun and cheesy sitcom, you feel a bit unsettled when a character suddenly acts in a way that's a tad foreboding. Still, it's fun to watch and is easily the central hook for what makes this show work.

The Comedy: The homages also nail the comedy that came from each type of sitcom. The jokes fit with each period, from the cheesy and charming 50s to the cynical and dry 90s and early 2000s. It's another thing the writers play straight with, and I think it works. The only jokes made by most stories like this are just pointing out that these serious characters are stuck in a silly sitcom. Instead, the writers tell jokes that work for the period it's in, and it is all genuinely funny if you're used to those types of goofs and gags. If you didn't laugh, that's because the comedy isn't trying to reach out to you. It's reaching out to the people who actually watched these types of sitcoms. Or, in my case, the type of people who had their parents show them these types of sitcoms. And even then, I still think there are these lines and deliveries that are still funny even if you don't get the joke. For example, there's this brief moment with Vision and a toy baby that got a genuine chuckle out of me for how absurd it was. I wasn't expecting to laugh that much, but on top of the many surprises this show gave, being funny was definitely one of them.

“My husband, and his indestructible forehead”: He...hehe...hehehehahahaHAHAHAHA! AH! HA! HA! HA! 

*Slowly starts sobbing*

>Squeaks<

I see what you did there.

Paul Bettany as “Vision,” “Vision,” and Vision: Can we give Paul Bettany a round of applause for basically playing three different characters, each with their own varying levels of emotions and purposes? Because goodness gracious, this man is a champion! I've seen tons of people praise Elizabeth Olson for her performance as Wanda, and to be fair, she does do a fantastic job...aside from one blatant issue (which I'll get into later). But as great as Olson is, Bettany still deserves some credit. Throughout most of the series, he has this level of comedic-timing that I didn't even know he was capable of, by going ham or just having a dry wit. Seriously, was someone going to tell me that Paul Bettany can be funny, or was I supposed to find that out for myself? On top of being hilarious, Bettany delivers such raw emotion that none of us would have ever expected from this character. That screaming match “Vision” has with Wanda shows the very first time that any version of him has ever been angry, and Bettany does a great job at making that moment as jarring as it needed to be. And that's just from playing one version of the character! I didn't even talk about how he nails the naive yet still wise Vision from the flashback in "Previously On" or the cold and robotic "Vision" from "The Series Finale." Bettany has range, and WandaVision is a great show that proves how. One just needs to have the right amount of vision to see it (HhhhhhhhhhhHA!)

Developing Wanda: But as great as Paul Bettany, and to a lesser extent, Vision, is, Wanda Maximoff is clearly the star of the show here (And yes, I know that it's Wanda who's the character and Elizabeth Olson is the actor, but...I'll get into it!). If WandaVision has taught me anything about these Disney+ shows, it's that we are finally going to get some long-awaited development to characters that are starved from it. And Wanda definitely needed it. Don't get me wrong, Wanda was great in past movies but wasn't that compelling of a character. Here, trust me when I say that the opposite is true. 

We are given a deep dive into not only Wanda's morality but also her psyche. The writers really play around with how scary Wanda can be. As well as questioning if Wanda has the capability of being evil. Because, yeah, what she did was not right. True, our "heroine" was going through some rough s**t, but that doesn't excuse the amount of torture Wanda put the people of Westview through, no matter how unwittingly. Just look at that scene where everyone grills Wanda about what she's doing to them, not only pleading for whatever compromise they can get and even begging for her to kill them instead. That is dark! That is the darkest concept the MCU has ever offered, and the ending of Avengers: Infinity War exists!

But, while it doesn't entirely excuse everything, there is a reason why Wanda did all of this. You see, throughout WandaVision, Wanda goes through the five stages of grief. It all starts with denial as she pretends to live in a sitcom that she created where Vision is alive, and they get to even have kids together. Soon comes anger when she destroys anything and physically harms anyone that tries to bring her back to reality. Next, there's bargaining as Wanda strengthens her hex and expands it to keep outsiders out and keep Vision in. This leads to depression as the weight of all of Wanda's actions finally sinks in, and she's forced to realize the damage she's causing. Until all of it ends with acceptance, as Wanda finally, finally, gets to say goodbye to Vision. Something she never really got when Thanos ripped the mind stone out of Vision's forehead. It's both incredible to watch as it is fascinating. Wanda, through the course of her own little spin-off series, just went from a decent character to one of the most intriguing to dissect in the MCU. And we have this show to thank for it.

The Commercials: These commercials offer three things.

They're more homages to classic television, each product and filming for each one honoring how commercials looked in each era.

They offer more of an insight into Wanda's psyche as we see how each commercial shows bits of her history, regrets, and deepest desires. You see all of the above in the Lagos' paper towel commercial.

There are neat bits of foreshadowing of what's to come, like how Hydra Soak ends by saying it's for "your inner goddess" or how the 90s commercial ends by saying Magic isn't meant for the weak.

With all of that, these commercials are as fun to analyze as they are disturbing as hell.

The Dinner Scene: This was the moment it was clear that WandaVision wasn’t going to just be fun and games. The second that "Mr. Heart" starts screaming at Wanda about why she and Vision came, it becomes clear that the whole wacky scenario our heroes are in isn't as harmless as we all thought. And when "Mrs. Heart" playfully tells her husband to stop it when “Mr. Heart” starts choking, only to desperately scream at Wanda to stop it, audiences begin to piece together that the people of Westview are prisoners--no--victims. As for Wanda? She's the unknowing dictator forcing them to do what she says. And it was this scene that I knew I was going to really enjoy this show.

The Blip Scene: And it was this scene that made WandaVision skyrocket into top-tier MCU territory! As much as I love Spider-Man: Far From Home, I will admit that making a joke with the concept of something like the blip might not have been the best move. But showing the chaos of everyone coming back all at once? On top of showing the confusion that a person would have from being told that a five-second nap was five years? Yeah, that's more in line with what we want.

Returning Characters: Not only was I surprised by the fact that these pretty minor characters in the MCU made a return at all, but I was also shocked to find out they work better in this series than they did in their respective movies. First, there's Monica. Not only is she reintroduced as a brand new hero (with, admittingly, confusing superpowers), but she also works as the anti-Wanda. Both characters had someone they care about dearly die without getting a chance to say goodbye. The difference is that Monica doesn't have the abilities Wanda does and is instead forced to quickly accept that her mom is dead and won't come back. She even admits that she would bring her mom back if she could. But that just makes Monica the perfect person that Wanda needs. A person that understands where she's coming from and tries to convince Wanda to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is. Monica's methods may have been a tad bit sloppy, but she is still ten times more intriguing than that little girl who screwed around with the color scheme on Captain Marvel’s suit.

Then there's Jimmy Woo, who is both funnier here than in Ant-Man and the Wasp, and actually shows signs of being a competent FBI agent. A step up, I might add, from the hilariously incompetent character we saw in his previous appearance.

And also, Darcie is here...and still slightly annoying...but at least she still has a couple funny lines here and there! Which is more than I can say with Thor and Thor: The Dark World.

In my opinion, it's a good move having these characters with pretty small roles in vastly different stories make a return. It shows that they are not limited to their one little corner of the MCU. And that they can branch off into taller tales that suit them perfectly. It's pretty cool, and it makes me wonder what other small characters could make a triumphant return.

Billy and Tommy: These two are...fine. Billy and Tommy give me Zach and Cody vibes sometimes, the kids playing them do a decent job, and they both offer some great emotional moments. The problem is that out of the list of characters that WandaVision introduces and reintroduces, there's not much to talk about with Billy and Tommy. Honestly, the only reason why I briefly mentioned that I like them is that I don't want dozens of people crucifying me for not saying anything about them. I don't hate them, but I don't much care for them either.

Evan Peters as Quicksilver: Although I would have loved it if it was Aaron Taylor-Johnson who made a return, seeing Evan Peters in a good Marvel movie again is more than worth it. He plays a much more fun version of Quicksilver while still nailing the sibling relationship the character has with Wanda. In a way, it's a lot like how Marvel cast J.K. Simmons as J Jonah Jameson at the end of Spider-Man: Far From Home. It's admitting that no one could have played the character better than this one actor and briefly making fans happy in the process. While also not doing something crazy like having it be the exact same Quicksilver from the X-Men movies. Only f**king idiots would believe something like that...

...

...But hypothetically speaking, let's say some people were stupid to believe that. While making an outrageous claim that the writers "lead them on to doing so." In which case, I will say the same thing that one would say when friend-zoning someone: "Nobody led you on to s**t. You were just too busy focusing on what you wanted to see instead of what you needed to see."

Because there was no evidence that it was the same Quicksilver other than the fact that it was the same actor. And, hypothetically speaking, if there were dozens of crybabies who were upset about it not being the same Quicksilver, then I have so much more respect for this character being nothing more than a boner joke. Because you did this to yourselves...hypothetically speaking.

Retconning Wanda’s Powers: ...I'm ok with this. Retcons happen all the time in the comics, as well as in movies and television. It's just a matter of making the retcon believable enough where there are few holes in what you're telling people. As for Wanda apparently having magic this entire time, but the mind stone amplified her powers? I can buy that. Besides, it's an acceptable excuse to make Wanda as powerful as she is in the comics (from what I've been told), so like I said, I'm ok with this.

“I can’t feel you…”: ...That's fine. I didn't need my heart anyway.

“Vision’s” Talk with “Vision”: Forget the horrible CGIed battles. I want more of this!

Now, I put both Visions in quotation marks because while they're both the same character, they're also...not the same. Which is, funnily enough, what this scene is: A philosophical discussion between two versions of the same android about what makes them both/neither the definitive version. One may look the same, and the other may be the same body, but neither "Vision" really is the true Vision. However, the fact that these two stop their fighting so they can have this discussion in the first place helps secure that while different, they are still the same. It's a thought-provoking discussion, and it is ten times more interesting to watch than Wanda and Agatha's CGI fight in the sky. Although it is kind of odd that White-Vision just peaces out the second Hex-Vision gives him a reboot. But hey, that's for the future movies to deal with.

“Thank you for choosing me to be your mom.”: >Deep inhale<...Girl.

Wanda Saying Goodbye to Vision: >DEEPER INHALE< HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY! I did not expect this much emotional turmoil from f**king WANDAVISION!

Joking aside, this is a well-handled scene. It's incredibly emotional to see these two characters say goodbye to each other as their arcs come to a close. "Vision" peacefully leaves knowing who he is in the world, and Wanda can finally start moving on as she gets to say goodbye to her one true love. It's as bittersweet as it is beautiful.

WHAT I DISLIKE

MCU logos flashing in every episode: You know how CinemaSins has this bulls**t excuse about how the MCU opening logo wastes time to get to the good stuff? This is the only instance where that's applicable. Because the opening logo was cool to see again for the first episode, but having it play in every single one after breaks the immersion when trying to binge the series. It's for a couple of seconds, sure, but after a while, it does get pretty annoying.

Elizabeth Olson as Scarlet Witch: Now, to be clear, I have no problems with Elizabeth Olson's acting ability in this series. She juggles being funny, heartbreaking, and threatening so well that I am likely to laugh and cry with her as I am to s**t my pants while in her presence. Elizabeth Olson does a great job with this character. The problem? Well, in the comics, Wanda Maximoff is Roma, and Elizabeth Olson...isn't. This means that WandaVision, and the MCU as a whole, has a bad case of white-washing.

I could go on about the issues this brings, but I am not as educated about this subject, and all I know is just stuff that seems like common sense. For instance, I believe it is more than reasonable to hire an actor of a specific race or ethnicity for a character who is of a that same race or ethnicity. But that is as far as my knowledge and personal stance goes, and to expand on it would be too much of a risk because I have no right to criticize the representation of something I am not a part of. So instead, I'm going to point you to @earnestdesire‘s blog and Jessica Reidy’s article on the subject. They do a great job at discussing the issues with Olson’s Wanda and pointing to the issues the MCU has in representing Wanda and Pietro's representation in the comics. And they do it in a far better way than I ever could have. So check them out to truly see why, despite doing a great job, Elizabeth Olson should not be the person donning the suit.

It Was Agatha All Along: AND I STILL F**KING HATE THAT!

I know, I know, I am in the minority on this one. And I still don't understand why! To me, Agatha has all of the problems that Hans has in Frozen. Sure, there are hints if you pay more attention during a few select scenes that are slightly questionable. Like how she refers to Wanda as "the star of the show" or coincidentally shows up with a dog house for Sparky. However, much like how Frozen didn't need a villain like Hans, WandaVision didn't need a comic book villain like Agatha. The story was perfectly passable as a personal conflict involving Wanda's grief where the only obstacle was the director of S.W.O.R.D. and his agents. There is nothing Agatha adds to that.

"But she helps Wanda find out what happens!" Yeah, but Monica could have done the same thing by actually breaking through to Wanda and calmly asking what happened. From then on, they could have worked things out together by having Wanda retrace events that transpired through the information that Monica knows as well.

"But Agatha helps Wanda realize what she's doing is wrong!" So could Vision! He could have shown up, did that mind-meld thing to the townspeople, and Wanda would finally learn what she was doing was wrong through the person she trusts the most.

"But Agatha helps Wanda learn that she's the Scarlet Witch!" Ok...but did that need to happen in this series? Because when you think about it, when the central conflict is all about exploring Wanda's grief, throwing in this narrative about becoming the Scarlet Witch has little to do with anything. Meaning that if you cut it from the story, little would change other than cutting a CGI battle that everyone agrees is the worst part of the series.

The most Agatha adds to the story is a secondary conflict that could easily be cut, and the overall quality would stay the same, if not better. And that is a problem. Agatha needs to add to the central conflict in a way that no other character could have. Like, give her a reason to be involved in Wanda’s life that goes beyond feeding off her magic and leading Wanda to her destiny. Because as is, even if you argue that Agatha is a good twist villain, she's a villain that really didn't need to be here.

Director Haywood: But as much as I don't like Agatha, I think we can all agree that Director Haywood is the worst villain in the MCU. Because one issue that Haywood has is a lack of motivation. For instance, why does he try so hard to write off Wanda as this supervillain? It was never explained, and for something so bizarre and crucial to his character, I feel like it needed to be. It would be passable if he was motivated out of fear and ignorance, but Haywood goes so far as to misedit security footage to prove his point. And I don't get why.

Is he sexist?

Did Wanda not show up at his kid's birthday party?

Did he secretly want to use Vision as a sexbot and didn't want Wanda to get between them?

I don't know, and I'll never know.

Plus, on top of having no motivation, Haywood is just forgettable. Agatha may piss me off to no end, but at least I'll remember her. I honestly forgot Haywood's name half the time, and I'm willing to bet that you did too. Case in point, his name isn't even Haywood. It's Hayward. And in the off chance that you didn't even know about that misspelling just proves my point about how forgettable Hayward is. While it's one thing to be hated, it's another to be forgotten. Because that just means that you left so little impact that you aren't even worth getting upset about.

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And that is what I thought about WandaVision. If I had to base this off my usual score, I'd have to give the show the same 7/10 that everyone else gave it. Because there's a lot that I love, but the stuff that I hate is so problematic that it takes the WandaVision down on a couple of notches. It's still a fantastic series with a solid story, a great message, incredible acting, and phenomenal character development. It's just that not everyone is going to be willing to tune in as much as you might think.