#idk. just feels extremely gay to me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
divinemachina Ā· 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
lethe back at it again. vampire v-model
186 notes Ā· View notes
j-esbian Ā· 4 months ago
Text
i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of yā€™all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
thatā€™s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and donā€™t know any other way. like yeah iā€™ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i donā€™t understand what iā€™m missing. and itā€™s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like ā€œuwu embrace weirdness!!ā€ where theyā€™re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and canā€™t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. letā€™s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, itā€™s not a choice for everyone. itā€™s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and theyā€™re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. itā€™s difficult to talk about this without feeling like youā€™ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining ā€œno one understands meā€ but the thing is. sometimes you donā€™t grow out of feeling alone and different, and thereā€™s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think youā€™re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i canā€™t help like!!!#coworkers and i donā€™t share a lot of interests so iā€™m always like. yes iā€™ve heard of that show but havenā€™t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and theyā€™ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i donā€™t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with whatā€™s popular but itā€™s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#letā€™s not even touch the gay culture ā€˜flagsā€™ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i donā€™t know why youā€™re making it my problem that weā€™re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if youā€™re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it canā€™t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if itā€™s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. iā€™m sorry i donā€™t find the same things interesting#i donā€™t care about the office and you donā€™t care about the hundred yearsā€™ war. thatā€™s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#iā€™m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and itā€™s. different#instead of being like ā€˜fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!ā€™ itā€™s like#ā€˜fuck the mainstream because it doesnā€™t appeal to me personally and iā€™ve made my own club!ā€™#and this is not going to come out right because iā€™m just at my limit and venting and donā€™t know how to say things the right way#so people donā€™t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk itā€™s hard to talk abt this without sounding like iā€™m just complaining but iā€™m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
9 notes Ā· View notes
itsalwaysdark Ā· 6 months ago
Text
i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately
#i need to have a gay moment or im going to die in real life. guys its so hard#mfw i never leave the house and im extremely closed off and distant from people and i never talk to anybody and im a shutin: When will i#meet my love.#ITS NOT GONNA HAPPENNN MY LOVE WILL NOT MATERIALIZE INSIDE MY STUPID GARAGE. PUNCHES THE WALL#also you may think connor youre not closed off you literally yap constantly about every single thought in your head. Yes. but thats to you#guys as a whole so it doesnt count#one on one conversations im so scared im like acat hiding under a bed. genuinely shaking crying#BUT I DONT NOT LIKE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS I MISS THEM BADLY. i used to talk to online friends Everyday. and ugh. obvioisly.#i just like. idk. i wanna make friends but i feel like im so bad at being a person that its wah too much work to befriend me#i dont mean that selfdeprecatingly i mean like. i need the other person to make the first moves always which sucks bc thats a bad thing to#expect of someone but if i ever made the first moves i. well i just couldnt my brain would shut down its a whole thing. connor doesnt speak#unless spoken to etc. and again ik i yap on here#but thats bc this is like my diary. dms or discord or whatever Is a conversation.......sigh#but ya. and with time i think id warm up and be able to initiate congersation and reciprocate properly but thats a long time to make someone#wait. bc i also when ppl do reach out i like. im like . like w my old coworkers we were i think friends but i was like Im the only one who#thinks that they dont actually like Me so whenever they talked id be like Theyre just doing tjis to be nice or out of pity#which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical#but it takes me a while to like. actually understand somebody is trying to be friends bc im obtuse as fuck#and im like Well theyre saying hello to me and amiling whenever rhey see me just to be nice or possibly bc they hate me <- stupid guy on šŸŒŽ
3 notes Ā· View notes
waywardsalt Ā· 6 months ago
Text
anyways. holding linebeck gently
#some assorted untagged linebeck thoughts tonight cuz hey why not its been a Day of ups and downs and heā€™s been there in my mind#sometime this month i do want to make some images of him w/ the pride flags of my hcs so general gay and then mlm and then intersex#general post ph crew rundown theres linebeck and then damien is bi and trans and bellum doesnt fucking care and link is figuring it out#so its half we got it and half man i have other things to worry about#i feel like you put linebeck and midna in a room and they are gay/lesbian buddies mlm/wlw solidarity thats what they are to me#anyways. revisited my post abt possession aftermath effects. you can probably tell i enjoy hurt/comfort/whump#smth darkly funny to me abt extremely sick and delirious linebeck and worried link kinda hanging out in his room#with link being like i bet youll be fine!!! youā€™re recover youre fine. and linebeck just saying kid i have rabies symptoms#anyways he lives hes fine he survives the magic squid rabies. to calm the characters nerves and my own ive decided that once hes well enoug#linebeck and link decide to visit the fairy queen to get some kinda divine checkup and to get the closure of. linebeck is fine heā€™s fine#nothing malicious is lingering youre good just. get some more bed rest#i do like the idea that when hes got some minor injury to the degree of some little papercur linebeck is incredibly bitchy and whatnot#and then when heā€™s in genuine danger of dying heā€™s eerily chill abt it. while recovering from possession one day when he can walk he just#chills on the deck when theres no breeze just smoking. ofc hes terrified inside but fuck if hes going to be obvious abt it (when lucid)#could tie that to his trauma n whatever ig but rn i dont have the energy to really think on it idk hes had enough bad injuries#and has found that when hes actively distressed crying out and whatnot didnt really get people to help#like its smth he learned early on his brother was there and there was just enough but like yknow. wasnt ingrained ig#thats a different thing to be lumped into the idea of him learning that its fine to be more vulnerable abt what you feel n need n want#prob smth he practices with link i mean damien is good but he needs to learn to listen instead of assume for that first bit#uhhh. earlier today i almost made a vent post but didnt but i think the gist was god i need to stop comparing other loz things to my iwn#bc it never never ends well. anyways. uhhh. came up with a possible post ph story arc for bellum n link#and decided to revive an older one with link and linebeck. post ph is really really just its own thing tbh#ofc meant to be a sorta fan sequel thing but between the disregarding of canon sequel stuff and not really adhering to the feeling n whatno#its just its own thing and i like it. ill prob delete this later
4 notes Ā· View notes
fappellmoan Ā· 2 years ago
Text
something on my mind rn. as you all know iā€™m a lesbian. applause from the audience. and sometimes it just gets to be like annoying when. well. so i have at least A friend whoā€™s asked me several times over ā€˜so you donā€™t have Any attraction to men? like at all?ā€™ and i know theyā€™re not being like malicious but you know. that answer has not changed since like seventh grade. and in the same vein it just feels aggravating when i have the nerve to say Oh i think she seems like a lesbian. thatā€™s giving dyke. etc. and to be met with ā€˜umm well maybe she actually does like men.ā€™ like. first of all in personal conversations if iā€™m just saying shit chances are iā€™m just going off of patterns from my own life or other lesbians i know. iā€™m not here for Bi Erasure and i promise you in this context your attraction to men is not ever invalidated as much as my lack of it. esp in college with so many people talking about their dating/app experiences and etc itā€™s 99.9999% of the time about men and i just Canā€™t participate in that conversation which is yk not the end of the world but a bit isolating and even if i do contribute anything it just feels likeā€¦ a slight Stiffening like. and even just getting brushed off with Well yeah but youā€™re not even into guys. like real! i still have eyes though. and esp when my attraction isnā€™t being celebrated and engaged with in the way theirs is itā€™s just really fucking lonely! and maybe thatā€™s a gross inner voice of insecurity that iā€™m projecting onto them but like you must get what i mean right. thereā€™s still this odd air specifically around people who Do Not engage with men at all. and if i do make any kind of joke or comment abt someone maybe just Not being into guys iā€™m made into the asshole whoā€™s invalidating their experiences etc when like. iā€™m just saying shit man idk. and itā€™s like many of these people are bi and claim attraction to women but get so like uncomfortable actually talking about it. i donā€™t think iā€™m the one with problems! i think thereā€™s still some internalized shit there. you know. anyway all this to say as much as weā€™ve had the conversation of invalidating bi attraction some of you need to think about not treating gay attraction as this secondary awkward weird elephant in the room. and on a more personal note on top of the Everything that was getting under my skin last night this was just a cherry on top where i was feeling sooā€¦ misunderstood and invalidated lol even tho again i largely think those friends were being very supportive and kind to me. this is just one thing i was like. šŸ˜
#esp cause the other one literally pulled the. well idk a man would have to be like Perfect but id still hook up with one. yeah it could be#any woman literally but you know men arenā€™t totally out of the picture if theyā€™re like. Actually the most attractive man ever and then#i could just pretend itā€™s not a man#ā€¦ and you want me to act like thatā€™s not a dyke thing to say. like ok#i didnā€™t say that to her face btw she can figure that out herself. but you get what iā€™m working with#itā€™s so frustrating and truly. once again. just isolating. cause as long as people claim theyā€™re into men itā€™s like they have this in for#so much bonding that i will never access cause i donā€™t give a fuck about men. so itā€™s like yeah i get defensive#esp speaking about a situation in which someone behaved so egregiously homoerotically with me and displayed many signs of um. being gay#and then could just run off with her bf she didnā€™t even seem to be that attracted to. u can see where#as MUCH as itā€™s not my goddamn business. when iā€™m dragged into that it would absolutely get under my skin and of course iā€™d say some stupid#shit about her needing to accept lesbianism into her heart. lol#because unfortch. yeah. That still came up as part of this. as much as iā€™d like to just forget it and move on#she just somehow fucking comes up and now itā€™s not even me obsessively talking abt it. itā€™s like that situation just cannot leave me alone#for my peace of mind. itā€™s been months. and thatā€™s also sad and fucked for me cause itā€™s like#as horrible as that was for my like self esteem and peace of mind. itā€™s the fucking Only thing i had going for me in a long ass time#and since it just worked so well i latched onto it yk. and i have to trust as i get more confident and move on in the world#iā€™ll attract better people and whatnot#but itā€™s like personally extremely lonely and then just feels like an added stupid layer when. it just feels so invalidated in a way. idk#like no i did not have a relationship that i can technically mourn i just had a weird connection with someone who wouldnā€™t admit even the#slightest attraction even if it was glaringly obvious. it just preys on this stupid fucking loneliness i feel too. and i KNOW i donā€™t need#to constantly validate that and whatever and none of my friends actually think iā€™m delusional#itā€™s just that. i need to get a grip and not cling to it. like just accept it for what it is and go on. and when itā€™s brought up at random#when iā€™m already in a stupid sensitive spot itā€™s hard. u know. and then also w these friends theyā€™re not used to hyperbole so when i say#shit like well i hope they die. theyā€™re like Omg! šŸ™€ and iā€™m like oh my god i donā€™t mean that literally like. hello#this whole thing was not about film girl but of course she made a silly little guest appearance. in conversation#which is just embarrassing for me. you know.#pisses me off that she can move on and probably act like nothing even happened meanwhile i was over here sobbing like iā€™d been through#a heartbreak. and iā€™m remembered as like obsessive silly goofy crazy for it. and i was. but damn iā€™ve taken accountability for it šŸ˜­#abby talks#long post
14 notes Ā· View notes
5-htagonist Ā· 4 months ago
Text
l@imari has a place in my heart fr
#m/f ways? Extremely Bisexual. f/f ways? smirks...#cannot help but project my autism gender/sexuality onto laios due to woke#1. gender is extremely constructed and not directly correlated to personality all the time. though i generally find gnc people more#attractive regardless of gender but it depends. 2. i despise the social expecation of sex and gender and i think no matter my sex assigned#would probably be trans because i dont feel specifically Male but i refuse and reject being defined by my body and social rules regarding i#social rules chafe my assssssssssss i get ittttt pretty feathers cute little dance watever courting is weird#Why do people suppress themselves?their interests? why is fun childish? these are things that play into our gender perception too#i have genuinely come to believe autistic people and other NDs serve just as important a social function as things like social cohesion and#that is not having the same instinct to fit in as is appropriate#because sometimes fitting in isnt appropriate whether youre conscious of it or not i think its just stupid we cant play tuoys#once were too old or its weird#SIGHS. this became more about me than l@imari.#anyways. thats why i like tfem laios i dont think shed even bother thinking about who specifically she likes genderwise shed be distracted#with other stuff whether the Gender the King stuff or a romantic exploit#no matter how much i think on it i cant define my sexuality#i like droopy or unique eye shapes#i like muscles and fat#i like long hair i like larger lips i like gentleness and conscientiousness and openness and it always goes like this lol#i prefer my men feminine and my women masculine but not always#umm oh body hair <3 <3 <3 <3 and tits. not of any particular size but they gotta be good.#i know genitals that look more pleasing to the eye from ones that are less. they arent all just weird and ugly to me or anything but#other than that stuff i dont think i can call myself bi or pan because its not just about personality and gender does matter in ways but#IDK im nonbinary and gay so whatever its no matter... i think i would get a weird sense of euphoria if a nb/gnc lesbian was attracted to m
0 notes
bidolatry Ā· 1 year ago
Text
before i go bed i need to- [explodes into 10000 pieces]
0 notes
vampyruic Ā· 1 year ago
Text
actually. i need to go to another function with a bunch of queer people that i donā€™t know to fill the gap in my life where for whatever reason i just never met any other trans or queer or autistic folks and just thought i was unloveable. need to go get drunk with more strangers who i will never see again but love forever
0 notes
neontaxidermy Ā· 2 years ago
Text
I love when old, bad, F&R choices can be made into old, GOOD, F&R choices with a small helping of making Jess a worse* person again
0 notes
devotedlystrangewizard Ā· 2 years ago
Text
i have such strong memories related to black sails like. it was my mom's birthday. during a weekend. think 2018/2019. we went away for the weekend to this. place. idk what its called in english but yk rent a tiny house for like a few days. whatever. i can remember what it looked like. i sat on that couch watching black sails. my sister and i had to share a room and i managed to break the bed (not permanently) i had to sleep on & because even after fixing it i didnt trust it, i slept on the floor. it was on that floor that i watched s2 of black sails. it was on that floor that i saw that fucking scene that fundamentally changed me as a person. because. listen. black sails was one of the first shows id watched with a queer story. with not one but two major plot threads revolving around queer people's relationships. i remember sitting in the car in the dark as the rest of my family was ordering fries for us and i remember my mom going "hey look gay couple!" in a restaurant. it doesnt feel real. that entire weekend is a fever dream. i thought i was just watching a pirate show. the pirates were gay. the pirates were fucking gay bro. i cried over that show. i wept at the end of it. i had to play boardgames for my mom's birthday and pretend like i wasnt going insane because the pirates were gay and i was just. ough. i was 14 or 15 and i was barely out and i was new to being queer in any capacity and it was such an experience.
1 note Ā· View note
thyfleshc0nsumed Ā· 2 months ago
Text
I think I have a weird positionality within gay spaces cuz I am extremely transmasc passing, like ppl have gone months without realizing that I'm not in fact transmasc, and like when I meet transmasc ppl, like especially transmasc dykes, they very much greet me as one of them in ways i definitely dont see them doing to my sisters.
This feels especially true for like transmascs who are very much attached to their lesbianism (which I have no qualms with inherently), because I think a lot of the gender I perform in these spaces is very lesbian, even though I have no particular attachment to lesbianism as any sort of ism. I get invited to these spaces that are treated as definitively 'lesbian,' and despite the variety of lesbian and bisexual cis women, nonbinary people, and transmascs, dolls are usually either entirely absent, or in very small numbers, especially in relation to the number in the area that outwardly should have a place in the space.
I really don't think it's malicious or conscious, and I don't think in most of the instances I have experienced that being perceived as a TS woman would have led to outright hostility, I just think people are so used to excluding TS women like high schoolers excluding the one weird kid in class. It's usually not going to be name calling and harassment, most of the time it's gonna be treating them poorly but with plausible deniability, make them feel like they're talking to a wall, make them feel just unwelcome enough that it's them who makes the choice to walk away. Cuz if it was their choice, well, you don't have to confront the fact that you excluded them.
So then dolls find and make their own spaces. Cuz we need somewhere to be, we need some kind of community. I feel more gay community at a local hardcore show than I feel at lesbian mud wrestling. Cuz even though most of the crowd is gonna be cishet, I'll see way more sisters there than at any lesbian event. And community isn't just "demographic," it's a network of people whose names and faces you know. And it's hard to get to know people when they make your sisters feel unwelcome.
Idk I dont really have a point here, it's mostly just some noticing I've been doing, and it just bums me out. Blah
338 notes Ā· View notes
venerosith Ā· 7 months ago
Text
ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS (part 1)
Tumblr media
(remember, im NOT a professional astrologist, im just doing random observations for fun. Do not take everything I say seriously)
Moon Observations
-cancer moon natives tends to like a bad boy type of guy (or cancer people in general idk)
-moon trine neptune natives have an EXTREME CONNECTION with music, it's surreal
-moon opposite pluto natives = mommy issues
-people with moon at 4 degrees usually have beautiful singing voices
Lilith Observations
-lilith sextile venus natives r like the great attractor of the universe, everyone feels sexually attracted by them. they can make the straights turn gay šŸ‘/j (or not)
-lilith square ascendant natives = often sexualized
-lilith in pisces are constantly thinking out of this world, they feel like theyre not from here (pisces lilith here!!)
Venus Observations
-Venus in aries are so fucking horny like omfg calm tf down
-Venus in 11th house are social butterflies
-Venus square neptune native/transit makes u a big delulu in love
Neptune Observations
-neptune asp sun natives are always thinking about the future and their career
-neptune conjuct lilith are witchy bitches
-neptune in the 9th house natives are very open minded, spiritual and with a good taste for arts
ty for reading yo %įµ•ā€æā€æįµ•%
sorry for the short thread lolz but im not THAT of an expert when it comes to astrology so i just put out some things that i knew
btw ill be doing moon observations soon (now I AM a moon expert) so dont forget to follow me hihi
595 notes Ā· View notes
azulaaaaaaah Ā· 9 months ago
Text
rating every zuko ship (cause that mf is shipped with everyone)
CLICKBAIT!!! this isnā€™t every zuko ship just the main ones i immediately lied lol. idk if any of these are hot takes or not but please donā€™t crucify me (might do a part 2 where itā€™s azula ships)
Jinko - Zuko/Jin
6/10
Tumblr media
awwww itā€™s cute (for what it is)
and what it is was one singular date that was never really mentioned again
i really appreciate how jin is so unperturbed by zukoā€™s awkward angst and just genuinely likes him
howevvver sheā€™s kinda one dimensional (as sheā€™s only in like an episode) and i just donā€™t see this going anywhere longterm
less a ship, more a vehicle for zukoā€™s character development lol
Jetko- Zuko/Jet
3/10
Tumblr media
jet being zukoā€™s first gay encounter is canon in my eyes
donā€™t ship them however cause i hate jet with the fire of a thousands suns
similar issues to jin as well where their interactions are extremely limited so personally have no clue how this could be a long term thing
Maiko- Zuko/Mai
5/10
Tumblr media
i am so impartial on this ship itā€™s not even funny.
i get that itā€™s canon. i get that izumi looks suspiciously like mai so itā€™s endgame. i just donā€™t see HOW?? it feels as if the writers realised zutara was becoming popular and were like ā€˜OH SHIT WE GOTTA DEFUSE THIS SITUATION SOMEHOWā€™
their relationship is basically just mai being a cold asshole and zuko being an angry asshole and thereā€™s no change or development between EITHER OF THEM
however when theyā€™re cute theyā€™re cute !!!!
ā€˜i love zuko more than i fear youā€™ COLDEST LINE EVER
however again itā€™s like - you had a crush on him as a kid. he was BANISHED. you dated for like a month as teens. you argued the whole time. he left again- and shortly after you saved him from prison, but then you were imprisoned partly due to his actions. you get back together again, he becomes the ruler of a country, and then youā€™re surprised itā€™s isolating him/making him even more of an asshole???
on the other hand we as a society need to admit that zuko is weirdly possessive of her (ig thatā€™s a positive if ur a booktok romance girlie but im not). like if i was mai i wouldnā€™t put up with that toxic shit either
at the end of the day, i honestly donā€™t care that theyā€™re canon lol- but i think theyā€™d probably best as a bitchy best friend duo
Zukaang - Zuko/Aang
1/10
Tumblr media
not round here partner. not round here
my first issue is the age gap is objectively extremely weird if examined in canon. leaving it at that
i get that this is grumpy x sunshine in a way the other ships arenā€™t to me- but weā€™ve only ever seen these two characters interact with each other when thereā€™s (again) A WEIRD AGE GAP
they are bros in the least homosexual way possible
the cherry on top of this situation is: isnā€™t aang the reincarnation of his great grandpa? isnā€™t that giving slight, uh, inc*st vibes??? imagine if people shipped korra and jinora isnā€™t that just WEIRD???
Zuki - Zuko/Suki
8/10
Tumblr media
is this my most controversial take ???
i am a sucker for bodyguard x royal family dynamics guys
and the fact that this is girlboss x malewife is even BETTER
suki seems the most competent at handling his pissy ass in a way the other people on this list arenā€™t
like sheā€™s real. sheā€™s not sugarcoating his situation, BUT SHES COMPASSIONATE !!
i donā€™t like throuples typically but suzukki is even eliter than this, which removes the whole ā€˜going against the bro codeā€™ element that arises from them being together
also i feel like if you havenā€™t read the comics this doesnt make sense At All so please do
-2 points for the lack of tangible reason to ship them lol
Zutara - Zuko/Katara
7.5/10
Tumblr media
okay this one makes the most logistical sense to me within canon (solely examined as a zuko ship not overall)
it really seems as if they were gonna make this canon and swerved circa book 2
LIKE CMONNNN OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHERE THE GUY ACTUALLY HAS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ISNā€™T JUST EVIL? FIRE X WATER? ITS INTRIGUING
something about this makes me uncomfortable though. (despite the age gap which again a little weird)
something about katara potentially becoming the fire lady is soā€¦ icky. sheā€™s a waterbender. the fire nation tried to systematically erase her kind. her mother is killed by the fire nation because they think sheā€™s a waterbender. and kataraā€¦. what, becomes part of the royal family? it just seems wrong, and like something she wouldnā€™t be into
also i feel like their arguments would be a little too NUCLEAR. thereā€™s like, a 50% chance of divorce
she deserves a better ending than that is all iā€™m saying
to paraphrase the hunger games: katara has plenty of fire herself. SHE NEEDS THAT DANDELION IN THE SPRING MAN
(iā€™m a kataang truther)
Zukka - Zuko/Sokka
9/10
Tumblr media
my zuko related otp!!!
bros to lovers guys, where zuko falls first but sokka falls HARDER !!!
ik this will never be canon and im happy with that. i know thereā€™s not even a whisper of romance between them in the show, but i just think itā€™s c u t e .
sokka (like suki) is very likely to call zuko out on his shit, but less likely to lose his own shit (like katara)
this in my heart of hearts is 10/10 however is still problematic in a similar way to zutara
his mother is killed by the fire nation and he (presumably) becomes consort ?
however though, i would still say itā€™s not as ruhroh as zutara bc firstly, sokka isnā€™t a waterbender, and secondly, ā€˜consortā€™ is a lot more open to interpretation than i think fire lady is. in my opinion a consort ā‰  a fire lady, just like irl a consort ā‰  a queen. it kinda means he can still be ambassador to the southern water tribe/a leader of his own people, while just so happening to be married to the fire lord.
overall i canā€™t help but stan a friends to lover ship cmOn now
611 notes Ā· View notes
williamvapespeare Ā· 3 months ago
Text
"every day i'm fucking smiling;" a rant (cogent, intellectual character study) about Charles
We all know that Charles Rowland is THE character of all time. Obviously. Undisputedly (except by Netflix) blabla. I, a mixed race bisexual idiot with daddy issues, am about to fucking get into it.
I think there are a lot of ways to get into that end of ep 4 scene ā€“ I think we can look from trauma, we can look from model minority syndrome, we can look from a place of people pleasing to the extreme, but I think the best way to get into Charles (for me, personally) is to look at him as a character formed of intersections. Of in-betweens. In literally EVERY way possible, he is between things. Heā€™s mixed race, heā€™s (probably) bisexual, heā€™s between life and death, heā€™s between good and bad, heā€™s probably sitting somewhere between trauma and healing ā€“ like, heā€™s CONstantly engaging in coping mechanisms and that itself is an in between.
Ok this idea of ā€œI must be likedā€ very obviously will come from living a life where the opposite of not being liked is always violence, and that definitely canā€™t be understated. But I think this whole scene and this line in particular really speak to this very specific feeling that comes with inhabiting an identity that is ALWAYS seen as ā€œnot enoughā€ in some way. Like, if you sit in a place where you donā€™t speak one side of your familyā€™s language well enough and simultaneously arenā€™t white enough (or whatever enough) for the other side, youā€™re just like fundamentally culture-less and fighting to just be ANYTHING.
(Another GREAT example of this I think is the game Life is Strange 2, which is about two Hispanic American brothers, one of them speaks Spanish and the other one is much younger and doesnā€™t and thereā€™s a bit where the younger brother doesnā€™t want to leave the US and says ā€œI donā€™t even speak Spanishā€ and the other one is like ā€œdonā€™t worry, everyone likes you.ā€ Like YES being ā€œā€œā€œLikeableā€ā€ā€ is maybe the only way in when you are so fundamentally detached from a thing that you are also fundamentally part of, anyway!!)
Similarly, like all of us bisexual people know weā€™re constantly getting shit from both sides, from straight people and gay people and probably like, corpses decomposing in the ground who are throwing around terms like ā€œgold star lesbianā€ or whatever the fuck. People just look at whatever relationship youā€™re in and theyā€™re like ah yep thatā€™s you!!
Like the whole thing is the most reductive narrow-minded stupidity, but itā€™s also just THE WAY. Itā€™s the way of stuff. And being like ok, I AM NOT ENOUGH OF ANYTHING THAT I AM. How are you going to deal with that, youā€™re going to try and be likeable?? Because thatā€™s something you can control!!!
And Iā€™m low key so mad that we canā€™t see a continuation of this story where we get to see a character slowly come to terms with these in-betweennesses and say like, Iā€™m not actually two halves, Iā€™m two wholes. This is intentional in-betweenness. Like yes, blabla let the boy be bi, but itā€™s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. And I trust this show and I trust these writers to get that right and we were robbed of that.
So yeah idk tldr ā€œevery day Iā€™m fucking smilingā€ was like the gut punch of the century. Whoever wrote that Iā€™m omw to haunt your local Dennyā€™s with my extroverted mixed race bisexual energy THANK U
345 notes Ā· View notes
louisferrignojr Ā· 12 days ago
Text
i dont care what canon tries to tell me and i don't care for how other people are trying to analyze 8x06
like I'm not buying into the idea that buck "idolised" his boyfriend and "didn't really know him" if you want me to accept buck has been dating a man for half a year and took no time to think about his own or tommy's identity and labels (yes even if he was to reach the dreaded ā€œi don't care about labelsā€ conclusion because ryan murphy productions are apparently allergic to the word bisexual) we're not going to get along idk
or whatever bullshit it is that buck couldn't say i love you but "rushed" to ask tommy to move in (and the idea that he was "inconsiderate" about tommy's house, sorry but that's literally all fanon, we don't know shit about Tommy's living situation other than that he has a big ass garage apparently. i promise you the writers were throwing "masculine" hobbies at tommy and trying to find common ground between him and eddie, you (we) have spent 6+ months thinking about tommy's house, the writers have spent 0 of that time on it) or that buck wouldn't be understanding of a closeted repressed gay man entering a heterosexual relationship with a woman as either an act of self preservation or succumbing to societal pressures. Michael Grant has been part of the canon storyline since s1. give me a fucking break.
like maybe I'm the only person who doesn't see this narrative as consistent with buck's character especially with the development it has gone through in s6 and s7 (and obviously i was foolish in hoping that canon would follow through with the development and not just uno reverse everything they've spent time setting up in previous seasons).
i feel like i have talked about the tommy side of things and the bottom line is that no matter how much meta we read and write the writing as it was presented to us in the episode is that tommy believes that because he is the first man that buck has dated he won't be his last and that their relationship is doomed because buck thinks everything is "new and exciting" and is essentially treating tommy as a shiny new toy. the only reasonable, plausible explanation for the things tommy said is that he's been in buck's position before and hurt someone he dated when he first came out. but again the writers aren't thinking about it as much as we are.
and while these lines are extremely biphobic, at least you can say it was the writing that was biphobic (just like the misogynist writing in the restaurant scene). you can say tommy was insecure (because he obviously is) so at least it doesn't butcher tommy's character.
buck, on the other hand? i don't know what happened to buck. we know that buck is tuned in to his loved onesā€™ struggles even when they don't voice them, he's shown this time and time again. he's perceptive and compassionate and non judgemental. buck cares so fucking much. nevermind the inconsistencies in the storytelling from 7x05 to 8x06. ignoring those. but this isn't the character we've seen for 8 seasons.
126 notes Ā· View notes
skrunksthatwunk Ā· 1 year ago
Text
ok elaborating more sorry. i wanna emphasize/reiterate that it feeds a fantasy of her naturally being what a woman should be (in several layers a woman, a straight woman, and a gender-conforming cishet woman), of having a more traditionally feminine nature, and of having more prominent female guidance in her life.
she never really had older female role models or guides, and her dad was barely able to be a father to her, much less help her figure that whole mess out. she's a tomboy, y'know? she's kinda rough around the edges where other girls seem to have it all figured out. again, i think she likes being this way (see the more masc way she dresses when given choice over it), but junketsu's fantasy is one of never having to struggle with the consequences of nonconformity, chosen or inherent. (and i mean i would argue one's tomboyness or butchness isn't that much of a choice, but that's a tangent im not getting into)
fantasy-ragyo is someone who can give ryuko that being-a-proper-woman guidance, and who can nurture her like her father didn't. maybe if she got that kind of softer-touch attention ppl associate with mothers, she wouldn't have ended up like this. she could be feminine and delicate like every other girl. she could be normal. junketsu's fantasy is for typical femininity to be something ryuko doesn't have to struggle through alone and something that comes naturally to her. to have always been rather than to become, as i said in the first part.
im adding this because i think i jumped to the it's about being a lesbian thing a little too quickly and skimmed over the bits about gender performance that i think are very very interwoven with that.
the wedding scene could be about being butch. this could be about being a lesbian in general. this could be about being genderqueer. it could be a lot, honestly.
but i think it's important to note how it focuses on normative girlhood as part of the fantasy
i also think it's noteworthy how this is inseparable with marriage as what a woman should do, and as what a girl should look forward to. women's roles in patriarchal systems, and fascist systems in particular, are inseparable from marriage, from chaste reproduction (to make more cattle for the life fibers in-universe, and irl often things like making more soldiers/white babies for racial conflicts that are always just around the corner (and which they always, always start, because fascism relies on destruction and violence against an enemy to survive)). that normal girlhood must culminate in marriage to a man. there is no other way to be a normal girl. and you have to be a normal girl.
like i said in the first part, this self-determination pertaining to what it means for ryuko to be a woman could have been portrayed with the Strong Independent Woman version i described, in which the definition of womanhood is merely separated from marriage and romance, but that's not all that happens.
once again, it's not just that ryuko doesn't need this, it's that it cannot coexist with her.
she cannot still be ryuko and be this normal girlbride. the two are antithetical to each other because of something fundamental to her, something junketsu is helping her pretend doesn't exist. whatever that may be, the very essence of ryuko, or some key part of it, must be purged for this kind of life to be possible. and at that point, she's not ryuko anymore.
again, i think it's lesbianism, but it could be something else, something more vague and nebulous about identity, or something like genderqueerness (in particular think there's a pretty good trans man/transmasc reading in there somewhere) or aromanticism (i think each of these would be very powerful). the wedding scene is a lot of things, and can be about many more.
at the end of the day, it's mostly about being yourself and not what your mom wants you to be!! and devaluing the societal structures/roles/conventions around us bc they suck real bad!!! hell yeah šŸ¤˜šŸ¤˜
man i think part of what fucks me up (/pos) about the wedding scene (klk) is how well it conveys that the fantasy junketsu puts on ryuko is not a romantic one.
like i think it would've been really easy to make it about her wanting to find a man who could take care of things for her or love her unconditionally and when mako busts her out the message is You Don't Need A Man! You're A Strong Independent Woman!! or something (which is a perfectly fine message btw. i bring it up because i suspect that's how some people read it, especially those who see ryuko as straight, in an utena-hetero-girlboss way (yes i HAVE encountered that reading before. head in my hands)). maybe there's a montage of the groom and her at romantic milestones (confession, proposal, dates, moving in, whatever), and mako busts in while they're exchanging rings or leaning in for a kiss or something. they could have done that.
but the show puts SO little focus on the groom, to the point of emphasizing his facelessness and lack of relevance to the fantasy and its appeal (see the door handle knocking him over and ryuko not noticing, too busy looking at mako), that i think it's impossible to read it that way. and that's great bc what's actually there is so much more interesting and thematically relevant.
ryuko wants a normal childhood with a mom who loves her and spends time with her doing typical family stuff, who sticks with her as she grows up. the fantasy is of a normal development and family structure, of assimilation into a typical path of life for a woman, with its typical milestones. that includes getting married to a man. the fantasy is being naturally what society wants her to be, what will allow her to connect most easily to others within it. she's always butted heads with others, never fitting in for reasons she can't really understand, or often because she thinks the rules themselves are stupid. that came with isolation. loneliness.
the fantasy of junketsu's wedding is of conformity. it is also of conformity without effort, without awareness.
she doesn't want to force herself to fit in, because she knows that feels like shit. she wants it to be seamless. second nature. that's what junketsu appeals to. not the fantasy of pretending to be straight or becoming straight, but simply being straight.
(if it isn't clear by now, i view ryuko as a lesbian. this scene is a big part of why.)
it's ryuko pretending to be (and to always have been) something that will never cause her trouble, that will never alienate her. (or junketsu making her pretend that, though i think it caters to a lingering insecurity of ryuko's, that lack of stability, connection, and conformity in her real life).
it's also part of why mako and senketsu's rescue is not about mako being the right one for ryuko, but about ryuko's identity. her core state of being. who she is as a person.
(personally i read ryuko and mako as romantic (and i believe the show does as well, hence, y'know, the date and the mako hallelujah imagery during her asking her out and mako hitting on her and and and. sorry but however you feel about them as a ship they are definitively canon), and the scene does have romantic appeal/a romantic angle to it. but i think that romance comes from mako understanding ryuko deeply, and from calling her back into the person she is, rather than the person she could have been were she to have lived a Completely Different Life, and showing her that she has community and companionship even without this. she can be part of a group without doing all this shit. she doesn't have to fight alone, and this wedding business isn't the only way out of that loneliness. it's a gesture of love and concern for her as a person, one that comes from senketsu and mako together, the people who love her the most.)
ragyo wants conformity. she is a fascist. she wants everybody to wear the same clothes, to be in their proper place in society, and to submit to those who have rightful power over them. A hierarchy with life fibers at the top and humans at the bottom. ragyo designs and distributes the roles (clothes) people ought to wear, talks about clothes that don't suit people, etc. she wants ryuko to conform like she is, and like she has. a feelingless marriage to some man for what she can get from him. fitting in. she wants to have daughters that fit in. she wants to fit in. she wants to fit in because she's fetishized her place above other humans (pigs in human clothing, in roles unbefitting their pig status), her place under life fibers.
it has nothing to do with love, so ragyo doesn't even bother with it. nor does junketsu. even though the guise of love could be a powerful aide here, the staff chose to leave the message unmuddied. it is about conformity.
for ryuko to fulfill this fantasy, she would have had to be a completely different person, with a completely different life.
ryuko could not be ryuko and still wear that wedding dress. so she tore it off to be herself again (something she'd been lamenting/resisting since finding out she was "a goddamned life fiber monster" shortly before getting put in junketsu).
also note that satsuki used this wedding dress for her own aims as well, though she is lucid through it. it pains her. it's a role she takes on to fight against ragyo (fire with fire). but she says she realizes she couldn't win using others like pawns. she couldn't win from inside the hierarchy, the establishment. she couldn't win using a groom and a dress for her own inauthentic reasons, nor using that clout to climb the ranks of something that was wholly rotten just to get closer to ragyo. the whole tree must be felled.
anyway
Tumblr media
#klk#ryuko matoi#he/she butch ryuko is kind of my ideal but i think she can be a regular sauceless girl too if ya want#reading her as genderqueer and/or as butch is slightly more of a stretch than just sapphic/a lesbian#(again. she goes on a date with a girl. odds are she likes women at least)#(they never mention it not working out and it's like a big thing in the final episode. feels like it's not just an experiment. idk)#im not gonna argue for my more specific reading of ryuko's identity bc it's more grounded in vibes and projection#like i think theres a lot one can analyze about her queerness but my particular hc is mostly just an 'i think itd be neat :)' situation#though if anyone wants to write the aro or transmasc ryuko essay id actually so love to see that pls tag me <3#or basically any klk meta to be honest. i really like this show guys idk if you can tell#bonus headcanons are aroace satsuki. i know ppl like putting her and nonon together (justifiably) but like smth about it works for me#like i think every aroace person deserves a gaggle of extremely close friends who would die for them#and also i just kinda think shes just not into any of that. like even once shes not pretending or fighting shes just kinda like#idk shes vibing. shes just hanging with her sister and her friends. which doesnt mean shes aroace but i think itd be cool if she was :)#(<- aspec bias coming through)#mako's just straight up a lesbian not complicated at all. just a gay girl fr#anyway love everyone whos been interacting w this btw. hell yeah im glad yall are also thinking about the wedding scene#and i didnt really think about anyone elses gaygenderness but final hc is satsuki and mako shaking hands over mutual autism#their flavors may be wildly different but they both got that thang going on
132 notes Ā· View notes