#idk what else i use for tagging things i want to find
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shadowjinx2906 · 2 days ago
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I just wrote a scene that my fic is nowhere near and its making me want to cry because I’m an evil genius and parallels and angst but also comfort and giggles
I am rewriting the first few chapters, because I wanted ✨more✨ as well as a better plan, and also want to have a good bit prewritten before I update again but this is the fic (I suck at summaries and will one day redo that 😅):
The Black Snake (24269 words) by ShadowJinx Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & James Potter, Regulus Black & Barty Crouch Jr. & Remus Lupin & Evan Rosier Characters: Harry Potter Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black Needs a Hug, POV Alternating, Angst with a Happy Ending, Regulus with a knife, BAMF Regulus Black, BAMF Remus Lupin, Rosekiller, Jegulus, wolfstar, Character Death, i want you to laugh, but I also want you to cry, Zombie Apocalypse, Blood and Violence, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Death Eater Remus Lupin, Regulus Black is a Little Shit, no beta we drown like regulus black, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff and Angst, The Walking Dead References, did I mention tags might contain spoilers yet?, Alternate Universe - The Walking Dead Fusion, Kinda, Bad Parent Walburga Black, Bad Parent Orion Black, Morally Grey Regulus Black, Morally Grey Characters, Traumatic things happen and everyone reacts in their own way, I intend to break your heart so read at your own risk, But it’s not all angst I promise, Pushing the boundaries of platonic, platonic but intimate, Platonic Sex, idk if itll be explicit or just implied yet, did I mention that people die?, like its the marauders in a TWD AU so expect death, but don't forget i want you to laugh and be happy too, even if your favorite character dies.., maybe I should stop with the tags or else I'll scare everyone away lol, I am planning a happy ending though I solemnly swear Summary: Regulus Black (22) and his estranged brother, Sirius Black (24), are separated during the apocalypse and experience it very differently. One becomes a Death Eater and the other joins the Order of the Phoenix. One looks for his brother and the other hopes he never finds him. Will they find each other? What will happen if they do? Have they changed too much, or will they find each other just in time? … As James raises his hand a third time, the door finally yanks open. Regulus’s hand, full of black and silver rings, leans against the side of it. A scowl that would make Walburga Black proud immediately crosses his features—his bored expression long gone—when he sees them and promptly slams the door in their faces. So.. he’s definitely not out… It’ll be okay. Probably. “Little fucking shit,” Sirius growls. A muffled yell from the other side reaches James’ ears, “Remus! Your idiots are here!” “Well, that’s just rude,” James mutters. Sirius is right. __ SO, this is far from finished but I have plans for it <333
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yanderespamton78 · 6 months ago
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Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.
Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs
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sunnymainecoon · 14 days ago
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I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day
It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..
..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what
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cerealmonster15 · 18 days ago
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[vibrating a little too fast] Do You Understand My Vision Yet
#twst#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#cater diamond#jade leech#trey clover#and some other guys but this aint about them#girl i do not even begin to know how to tag this one#trejeikei. treycayjay. caterjadetrey. girl fucking help#i still subscribe to jade having a crush on both of them at the same time and Being Weird About It lol#my fave thing in fanart is w/octavinelle if anyone is drawing shipping art of one of them with someone#the other two being either confused or disgusted or just bullying for fun about it#and then my other favorite is riddle being pissed as hell finding out his beloved card soldier besties are turning to the dark side#fraternizing with the enemy. [kissing a fish boy]#cater and trey both picking octavinelle for their union bday dorm choice is still so funny to me#AND THEN RIDDLE WENT AND PICKED JADE FOR HIS THEORETICAL BROTHER CHOICE LOL god dont even get me started on them#i am also obsessed with jade and riddles dynamic but god. no time for dat now goku.#cater voice hey siri what do u do when a boy holds ur hand and Wont Let Go#i love trey but i feel like i only ever draw him as a tiny head icon w/someone else talking about him fkshfkldshf#i mean ive drawn him in more things sometimes. usually treycay. i just dont post him very much#idk why hes so hard to draw LOL#i passively enjoy treyjade i think i used to look it up more in early twst days#but i ALSO like them both with CATER A LOT and u know me. love to tape characters together. into the polycule soup with you boy.#anyway in that first one cay i think was like 'wow jade kinda never expected u and trey to get together lol no offense -'#and jades like 🤝 well i dont mind sharing 😌#SHARING WHAT- theyre all holding hands now the end :]#riddle voice if u break cater and/or treys hearts it is On Sight jade leech#jade voice teehee well we wouldnt want that ill do my best 😌#riddle is not convinced.#anyway shoutout to ME and the like 1-2 people this might appeal to lol
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bagmatchesthebelt · 1 month ago
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haven’t drawn anything successfully in literal months esp fast like this but mumbo absolutely losing his mind seems like a good enough reason to come back with some quick sketches
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#my Florida shirt just got taken down from Etsy for no fucking reason#Taylor's team just CHUCKED the book at me and fucking LIED in their report to Etsy about it#said I infringed on their trademarks for Lover 1989 and Reputation in their report#and I used.... NONE OF THOSE THINGS. NOT ONE.#that shirt has (obviously) nothing to do with any of those albums even#not in the metadata not in the tags not in the SEO nothing#and since it had no tags of those things it didn't pop up in a sweep and get auto-taken down. it was targeted by them & they manually did i#that design is SO by the book legally and bc of how successful it is I've worked VERY hard to make it that way. even in the SEO#and I mean everything in my shop I go out of my way to make legal but#like that is probably the most actually black and white legal piece of fan merch I've ever seen in my fucking life#but I can't fight back because if I fight back.. if they want it down the next option is prove to Etsy that they're SUING ME#so like. yeah not trying to fuck around and find out there#and that is awful for multiple reasons.#1. I have lost like 90% of my income for the rest of the year. I've grown to rely on income from that shirt as I should bc IT'S FINE#2. it's about to be the holidays. this makes 1 worse and also - people will be searching for this shirt bc it's on ppls holiday wishlists#they now won't be able to find mine#and will therefore google it and buy one of the MILLION FUCKING STOLEN VERSIONS WHICH ARE STILL UP BY THE WAY#and 3. I can't even have these stolen versions taken down anymore because I don't have a leg to stand on since the real thing now doesn't-#exist to prove it's mine#I want to fucking throw up like idk how to do anything other than be sobbing in a fucking ball on the floor#like this is probably the 2nd worst thing that has happened to me in my life lmao#like this shirt was single-handedly paying my rent every month and I had other income but. that shirt was my cushioning#my whole Etsy shop is FUCKED without it like absolutely fucked it was carrying the whole entire thing#I'm scared to upload or DO anything else w my Etsy even because if they just made up lies to get that shirt down#then I am SURE they've got something against me or my shop#and like fucking WHY I work so hard to make everything FAIR AND RIGHT#I worked so fucking hard on that shirt that thing was like my child like my actual full pride and joy#I want to scream I don't even know what to do with myself#it feels like someone just shoved me into a room shut the lights off locked the door and threw away the key#that shirt has been like probably the proudest achievement of my life like no joke and everything I've put into it & my Etsy just got kille
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autisticlee · 4 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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girls-and-honey · 8 months ago
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made this with only what I had on hand which is to say, not quite ideal for the cheese and bread and it was STILL amazing so i can't even imagine how it tastes with Proper Ingredients
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kill the shift manager in your brain
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themyscirah · 8 months ago
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But look at us Luke, we're the ones left alone, holding some rich monster's pain. All of existence, built on his violence. All of space-time, humming to life with a single inviolate rule. Give the hero something to punch.
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torchickentacos · 7 months ago
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triglycercule · 22 days ago
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no funny little thoughts today. have this instead,,,,,, mtt fighting shshahsgahagsgaa CHOKES ok i lied maybe i DO have funny little thoughts below where the reference is :3
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this is SUCH a cool composition shot i had to draw something based off it (ignoring the erm. the flashing,,,,, this game came out like 10 years ago just ignore that)
anyways triglycercule what are your thoughts??? funny you asked triglycercule allow me to illuminate :3 so ive been remembering that one ask from like 3 or 4 months ago where i answered like well i like to consider the trio to just have met one day and then decided oh hey we should like totally explore the multiverse together (my excuse to draw them in any possible situation possible (mtt at an amusement park when) (soon (probably not))) and recently i was like WAIT i could probably like totally find a way for them to meet because just saying they met (is a totally valid use of my creator powers BUT) is uncreative and vague,,,,,
so i was like damn. how COULD i get them to meet 🧐🧐🧐 so i was like ok so dust beats human. done and done. but like bros BOUND to get bored. like if he gets bored from not having the human to kill then he's gonna seek out SOME other form of entertainment. so dust is like ok how about i work on some old ancient machines i made b4 to pass the time and one of these ends up being like a universal traveler thingy. and to his own surprise he actually MANAGES to get it done???? (i totally didnt steal this idea from myself,,,,, whaaat youre saying there's another triglycercule dust that came up with a universe hopper machine??? NO (sorry mania))
and oops instead of staying in dusttale like he intended dust accidentally gets chucked into horrortale (bro just wanted the sense of accomplishment not to thrown into some random world.) and then cue like horror and him meeting and its all tense and confusing and then horror paps comes around and hes like OMG ⁉️TWO BROTHERS ‼️‼️ and then invites dust over for a nice sweet little bowl of human spaghetti. unfortunately for dust the little teleporter device is no longer connected to dusttale's core (because hes not IN dusttale) so he just kinda has to suck it up and deal with it until he can find a portable power source
dust's not trying to get KILLED out here so he asks horror (who sadly cannot push dust into blue snow because paps is very enthusiastic about his appearance) where he can find like batteries or something. and horror makes some off hand comment about like power sources and his eye being in the core and how theres like no power and oh why did dust immediately start listening once horror mentioned his eye,,,,,, dusts not gonna rip horror's eye out (he has no reason 2 if theres a perfectly good 1 @ the core!) so he tells horror what he needs the power source for and then hes like i can help you get food for your buddies if you help me help you. ok? ok
and then they sneak into the core to get the eye and oops dust didnt you learn your lesson last time!! the little teleporter thingy brings them to another world AGAIN (and now horror's PISSED because this wasn't in their little deal) and guess where is is,,,,, you already know its something new. and i guess to make things uncomplicated this is a something new where killer already killed his chara but he hasn't tried to reset the world and kill himself (and therefore attract nightmare) yet (he's getting there!)
not like they think the au is anything other than just a wasteland because there is literally like nobody around but they stumble into killer and it doesn't even take like more than a minute before a fight breaks out (i probably need to think more about what happened and why they started fighting but knowing the trio its BOUND to happen) and lowkey killer is getting his ass beat what the hell??? he has never experienced a fight where he's been on the losing end in a long ass time & mindgames arent working because they keep seeing through his shit??? (because horror and dust somehow even though they barely know each other and horror's pissed @ dust have like craaaazy synergy and coordination & killer hasnt faught them ever before + yk yk inner turmoil at seeing other versions of yourself) so he gets annoyed and pulls out the blaster to end it
dust and horror don't DIE outright (not like they would be able to tank killer's blaster) because killer decided to be like hey these guys are new and cool and interesting. i should keep them around instead of killing them off and see how much i can play around with them :3 so he just blasts them until theyre at like 0.0000000000000001 HP :3333 and then idk thats it 4 now,,,,,, i think this is silly and fun and cool and i can imagine it in my head and OH NO THE VOICES (make a comic) THEYRE GETTING LOUDER (you should draw this) NO WAIT MY MOTIVATION (coooomic would be a perfect medium for this) im sorry inner voices i cant,,,,,,,
#i could probably push the perspective to its extreme if i did it on my ipad#make the gaster blaster bigger...... give killer a cooler pose........#but im lazy i dont feel like transferring this 1 2 digital and therefore it gets stuck on paper with no further edits#anyways this is soooo cute this is so them in my eyes. yeah this would happen#triglycercule HATES cementing things in place for the mtt (because my flexibility will be GONE!!!!)#but fortunately this is only 1 interpretation of them!!! thank god!!!! im not limited to this 24/7#i like the idea that horror' immortality is now like stuck in dust's device that they use to multiverse hop#like a part of his life is quite literally dependent on the device being intact#but also it powers the device which is like..... woaaaaah double meaning or something#it's dust's device powered by horror's eye but killer's the one that knows how to handle it best#they all get to do team collaboration with the teleporter!!! yay!!!!!!!#back on th immortality thing (i mean hes not REALLY immortal but still)#horror technically could just stay behind in horrortale and let dust an killer fuck around#because maybe killer would come along with dust if he knew what dust made#but he doesn't (because it sucks balls in horrortale and he's GUIIIILTY) but also because like. its just a good tradeoff#horrortale gets the food and support he wants to give them so the suffering can end#and horror doesn't have to be plagued with his boredom and stuck in a place he both traumatized and is traumatized by#its a win win!!! besides like sightseeing is a good enough tradeoff for hanging out w dust and killer#and dust still gets to revisit dusttale once in a while JUUUST to make sure the human didnt somehow come back#and even if he did now they get to reenact the murder time trio fight against dust's human w horror n killer!!!!!!!!#OH SHIT I JUST NOTICED DUSTS LEFT HAND IS BACKWARDS FUCK#NOOOOOO I MESSED UP......... AAAAAAA...!!!!!! too l8 to change it now...... (lazy)#ahahaaaaaaa i love this version of the mtt so much. its like KINDA canon compliant but also has a triglycercule flourish to it#AND NO NIGHTMARE IN SIGHT!!! YES!!!!!!!!#this killer seeing another version of him where he didnt have dust and horror to find him first#and being like damn. i could've ended up like that. i could've ended up serving someone else...... its a bit of an uncomfortable feeling#so off he goes to bother dust and horror again! gained an ever so slight appreciation for not being in that situation I GUESS idk#i snickered giving killer the chara smiley face to simplify his face gooooodddddddd#this feels naught of needing to be tagged. anyways i THINK this could be a hc idk....... headcanon it is!#tricule hc
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people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more
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waywardsalt · 10 months ago
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ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great
#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained#so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do#likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish.#like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired#hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic#hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow#he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit#he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation#and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now#he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng#and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever#like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting#hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests#and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him#hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked#because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess#his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free#he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves#idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him#like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon#when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff#that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then#i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow#im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with#its very cute
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destinyandcoins · 1 year ago
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have we talked yet about the possibility that UFOs and every suspected bit of extraterrestrial evidence could actually be originating from the advanced civilizations living in the trenches of the ocean just as bemused and wondering as we are about the world beyond them and reaching out in exploration? because given the fuckoff incomprehensible expanse of ocean floor we've yet to actually study or even really guess at what specifically is down there, I think there's a real possibility there's a complex society of, idk, particularly clever sea slugs and other amalgamations of physical matter like hydrogen and thulium and other shit we've never considered as a viable fundamental building block of life. and the fucking whales are the only living creature with the kind of planet spanning range and intelligence to know there's two complex evolutions of sentient life existing on opposite spheres of reality from each other who would really benefit from learning about the other, but we're both too fucking stupid to understand how whales communicate
#Idk man the ocean fucks me up sometimes#And also I think we're missing entire realities out there just waiting to be discovered#Because we've got such a specific and artificially tunneled view of what we see as reality or as supporting of life#And like. Ghosts and aliens and shit are that seeping into our world. But we don't even have the tools to start understanding#Like we're looking for alien life but we're looking according to OUR understanding of how life works and how life could occur#But that's just based on our own little planet our own little corner of the known universe#And man. There is a whole fuckoff lot of everything else out there in the infinity of the universe and the existence of anything#And we are just not equipped to ever know or understand much of any of it. But god that doesn't stop us trying#Trying to understand and find some way to prove we're not alone or unique in the universe#We have this thing called life and we want to share it with someone something somewhere somewhen#''There's gotta be someone else out there in the universe because I want to experience it with them''#Hm. Many thoughts#But also the Mariana trench is eating the pacific plate at a rate of 3 inches per year???#That's what we're talking about when we say shifting tectonic plates and why islands are moving micro amounts year by year?#The Mariana (and many other) trench(es) are EATING OUR PLANET?? why. Why are we not talking about that more explicitly#I feel like that's a better use of our time than squabbling about what social media we should use now instead of twitter#(None. You should replace Twitter in your life with 2-5 hours per week#of contemplation of how our PLANET IS EATING ITSELF. AND BELCHING UP THE REFUSE IN THE FORM OF VOLCANOS AND MUD VENTS)#Breaking news: my new hobby is geology. Fucking WILD stuff going on over there#Geology tag
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boygirlctommy · 1 year ago
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finally making a story about a person whos obsessed with another person in their life to the point where they now have to learn how to be a person and figure out who they are when that other person isnt around
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0tul1ss · 1 year ago
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#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long????#i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again#it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else !#now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from#and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk#or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose#i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it#i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life#i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me#i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all#i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have#<-going insane#anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship#anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do#good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post#ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with#[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!]#and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me#and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this--#that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle#vent
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