#no lie this is the best grilled cheese i have made so far in my life

[girls-and-honey]

made this with only what I had on hand which is to say, not quite ideal for the cheese and bread and it was STILL amazing so i can't even imagine how it tastes with Proper Ingredients

kill the shift manager in your brain

[vacant--body]

Bucky x female!reader

Warnings: smut. literal pure filth, pretty vanilla tho. praise!kink. a pinch of angst and a lot of fluff- perfect for a bucky fic:) 18+ MINORS DNI

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You hummed quietly, cleaning up the mess you had made in the kitchen. It was around sometime around midnight and you were an avid night time snacker. The rest of the avengers has since long gone to bed, leaving you alone. You grabbed the plate that had your freshly made grilled cheese and plopped down on the couch, switching on the large TV.

You decided on watching a true crime series that Nat has been begging you to watch. It was good, so far. You would have to thank her for basically forcing you to watch it. You scarfed down the rest of the grilled cheese and set the plate beside you on the coffee table. Finally noticing how tired you were, yawning heavily you laid down on the couch, determined to watch the rest of the episode.

You woke up slowly, your ears picking up on the quietly clinking of glass. The TV had long went into stand by mode, which had you wondering what time it was. Hearing someone sniffle, you sat up, using your elbows as support.

You saw the outline of someone standing at the sink, their shoulders rising and falling like they were taking quick breathes. “Everything okay?” You called out cautiously.

“Jesus fuck.” A deep voice grumbled, surprised. It was Bucky. “That’s a good way to get punched, Y/N.”

You chuckled tiredly. “Sorry Buck. What are you doing up so late?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he took his glass full of whiskey and sat down at the breakfast nook. “Alright then.” Y/N tossed the blanket off of her and moved over to where Bucky sat. “Why are you up?” You repeated, sliding into the stool across from him.

“Just couldn’t sleep. Didn’t mean to wake you up.” He mumbled back, taking a sip of his drink.

“S’kay, I didn’t want to sleep out here anyway.” You replied, scratching the back of your neck. “Did you have another nightmare again?” Bucky halted in the middle of another sip, his eyes meeting yours. He slowly set the glass down and shook his head.

“No.”

“You don’t have to lie, Buck. It’s just us out here.” You said quietly, reaching for his metal hand. “I get them too.”

He jerked his arm away from you, placing it in his lap. You frowned at him. “You wanna know what I was dreaming about?” You asked him. He raised an eyebrow at you. “My sister.”

“You’ve never mentioned you have a sister.” Bucky commented.

“Had. I had a sister. She died protecting me during the war in my home country. I must have been 10 or 11. I can’t really remember anymore. I tried to save her. I think I held her bleeding neck for at least a day. That’s when Hydra found me, and they gave me the ability to heal their wounded soldiers. It's a reminder, for what I couldn’t save.” You looked down at your hands, which were shaking slightly. You sighed heavily and shook your head, catching Buckys eye.

“But that’s not what I remember when I dream about her. I remember the good times. When we would go down to the lake a swim all day until we were pruning.” You chuckled to yourself. “Or when my dad would be working late in the mines and she would make the best chicken sandwiches.”

“She sounded like a good sister.”

“She was. But I choose to remember the good times, Bucky. She kept me strong during Hydra’s torture, and she still keeps me strong when you guys come off the battle field all bloody and bruised up.” You once again, reached for Bucky’s hand desperately wanting to let him know that you were there for him. This time he let you touch him, a hushed sigh falling from his lips.

“I know. And I try. Sometimes I just slip up and-” He cut himself off, sniffed loudly and looked away. His voice trembled a bit when he spoke again. “I’m just not as strong as some people think.”

Not being able to take it anymore, Y/N stood up and crossed the table, wrapping Bucky in a tight hug. She sat down on his thigh and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Bucky froze for a split second before his arms snaked around her hips. The two of you sat there for a long time, holding each other.

Y/N gently rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get the tension out. Bucky moaned softly and she felt something spring to life in the pit of her stomach. That’s when she realized how close they actually were. She could smell the whiskey coming off his breathe, and his hair smelt like cedar wood. She could feel his heart pounding against his chest and his hands gripped her hips just a little tighter.

You lifted your head away from his neck, to look at him. Their eyes connected, his icy blues staring into hers. “Bucky…” You whispered, her hands coming around to touch his cheek, her thumb resting on his chiseled jaw line. “Kiss me…”

Bucky instantly connected his to yours, with such ferocity that it almost knocked your breathe out of your chest. You cupped just face, gripping his long hair in your hands and tugged at it slightly. Bucky moaned in her mouth, biting down on your bottom lip. You could feel this cock growing underneath his thin pajama pants, which just made you more eager for his touch. He moved his lips from yours to your neck, biting down and sucking, marking you.

His large hands squeezed your hips and pulled you in closer, your core rubbing up against his cock. The two of you moaned in unison at the contact. One hand left your hip, and traveled up your night shirt, cupping your breasts. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched you like this. And neither could Bucky. So you were both desperate and needy, itching for release and satisfaction.

“I hear you at night, ya know.” Bucky growled against your neck, send vibrations to your skull. “The way you moan my name, fucking your tight little pussy with your toy.” Y/N shivered, her face turning red. “Are you gonna moan like that for me tonight, hmmm doll?” His normal hand pinched your nipple, pulling on it a bit. You hips rutted against his, dying for his touch. “Or are you gonna be so fucked out you won’t be able to speak?”

“B-Bucky.” You whimpered. “Please. Touch me.” He chuckled darkly, his metal hand dipping past your waistline. You could feel your heartbeat down in your cunt. His cold hand against your heat made you hiss in both pleasure and shock.

“Oh doll you’re drenched.” He muttered, his fingers rubbing your lips. “Was this all for me?”

“Y-yes.” You whined. He chuckled again and inserted a finger, stopping at his first knuckle. “Please, Bucky.” He pushed forward slowly and then slowly dragged in bag out. You groaned in protest and opened your mouth to say something, but was cut off by him fully putting his fingers in. “Oh, fuck!” You gasped.

As his index finger pushed in and out of you, his thumb gently rubbed your clit, making slow and deliberate circles. You could feel your walls tightening around him, the cord inside of you pulling tighter and tighter. Before you were able to come, he pulled out and sucked his finger, humming.

“What-”

“You only get to cum on my face or on my cock.” He growled, grabbing the back of your thighs. He suddenly stood up and carried you over to the couch, setting you down gently. You rid yourself of your shirt and removed Buckys as well, tossing them somewhere behind the couch. He knelt down in front of you, latching his mouth to your tits. Your back arched and you let out a guttural groan. “How are you so perfect?” He said through a mouth full of your breasts. You smiled shyly and ran your hands through his hair.

“I’m not.” You hummed.

“I’ll show you how perfect you really are, then.” His lips traveled down your stomach, kissing and biting as he went. He stopped just below your navel and grabbed your underwear with his teeth, dragging them off of you. The cold air that hit your pussy made you shiver, sending goosebumps up your arms. Bucky tossed your legs over his bare shoulders and peered up at you. His eyes were blown with lust and need. “You know,” Bucky said as he kissed your inner thigh. “When you’re touching this pretty little pussy-” His lips ghosted over your core which coaxed a moan out of you. “I touch myself too.” He kissed your other thigh. “Pretending it’s my cock that’s making you moan and cry like that.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as he hovered over your clit, your stomach doing loops at the thought of Bucky chasing after his own orgasm while listening to you. One of his thick fingers slowly dragged down your slick and inserted it at a agonizing slow pace. You whimpered and bit down on your bottom lip.

“Beg for it.” You heard him whisper.

“Bucky please.” You cried. “P-please I need to cum please.” His pace didn’t change any. “Fuck Bucky- baby- please do something-”

He snarled at the words that were spilling out of your mouth, and began lapping up your juices with such ferocity that you thought he was starving. His fingers pumped in and out of you, curling ever so slightly to hit that sweet spot. Your mouth hung open in an O shape as he worked you, unable to string any piece of thought together. That cord in your belly began pulling tighter and tighter and your ears began to ring.

When the cord snapped, you saw stars and fireworks shoot off behind your eye lids. Your body twisted around Buckys mouth and he reached up, pinning your hips to the couch. “Oh fuck!” You panted. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Bucky pulled away after riding out your high, leaving you with an empty feeling inside. He sat back on his heels with a smirk on his face. His beard glistened with your cum, and it dribbled down his chest.

“Always knew you were a squirter, doll.” He grinned, licking his fingers. “Hmmm, so sweet.” You felt a blush creep across your cheeks. "Oh no, doll. Don't be embarrassed, it's so fucking hot."

His sat up and placed his arms on either side of your head, using the back of the couch for support. You could feel his achingly hard member rub across your cunt. Reaching down, you palmed at him and your eyes widened. Bucky was absolutely hung. He laughed at your reaction. There was no way he could possibly fit all of that inside of you without completely ruining you.

"Y/N." He said, his tone dropping. Your eyes found his. "Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop if you-"

You cut his sentence off by leaning up and kissing him. He sighed contently and kissed you back softly. His normal hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers traveling to the back of your head. You pulled away, chest rising and falling hard.

Bucky smiled sweetly at his as he shimmed out of his pants. You sat up and reached for his cock, wanting to return the favor of you giving him head. He suddenly snatched your wrists, pinning them above your head.

"Nuhuh, I want to pleasure you tonight. You can suck me off another time." He winked at you, and you grinned to yourself. So this wouldn't be one time thing, huh? Bucky spat in in the palm of his hand, and rubbed it up and down his cock. Salty precum was already leaking off of his angry red tip. "If I hurt you baby please say something." You nodded up at him.

His cock poked at your entrance and he slowly pushed into you. You hissed at the sudden intrusion, trying to relax yourself around him. You both moaned as he bottomed out inside of you, his tip poking at your cervix.

"Your so fucking tight." He whimpered, his head falling in the crook of your neck. "Feels so good around my cock, doll." He slowly pulled back out, and pushed back in at the same pace. "How you expect me to last long when you feel this good?"

You smirked and wrapped your legs around his waste, allowing him to feel and different angle. He growled into your neck, his hips picking up the pace. Moaning, you gripped his broad shoulders, your nails pressing into his skin. "So fucking perfect." He whispered. "So good, so mine."

"I'm gonna cum again." You whined, clawing at his back. He moaned, his hips snapping faster. "Oh fuck, oh shit."

Just as you were about to release, he fully pulled out of you and knelt down. He delved down to your core, lips sucking your clit. You whined and grabbed his hair tugging at it. You felt the cord snap again and your vision blurred as you came, chanting Bucky's name.

Coming down from your high, you grabbed Bucky by his shoulders and forced him to lay down on the couch. You leaned down and smashed your lips on his, tasting yourself on his tongue. Still kissing you, you leveled yourself down on his cock and plunged down on it. He groaned, his hands finding your hips. You pulled away from his mouth and pressed your forehead into his.

You could feel his cock pulsing against your velvet walls, encouraging you to move. You lifted your hips up and brought them back down, and a breathy moan escaped your lips. You worked his cock slowly at first, loving the expressions Bucky made as you fucked yourself on his cock.

You rocked your hips forward and backwards, drowning in the feeling it brought you. Pure ecstasy was the only way you could describe it. You could feel your walls clamping down on him as another orgasm was rapidly approaching.

"You gonna cum around my cock, baby doll?" He whispered into your ear, nibbling at your lobe. His sweet nothings brought you closer and closer to your release. Bucky suddenly lifted you up by your ass and slammed into you. You gasped and held onto his shoulders for support. "Oh I love that face. It's so perfect." He growled, his cock splitting you down the middle. "You gonna cum again, love?" You nodded fervently. "Then cum for me. Let me see that pretty face."

You cried out, walls spasming around him. Your moans mixed together and Bucky began desperately chasing after his own release. You collapsed onto his chest, a sob ripping through your chest as he came inside you.

"Oh fuck, you feel so good. Taking all my cum like a good little girl." He growled. "Shit-oh fuck! Fuck, doll!" His warm cum spilled into you, causing you to moan tiredly. It felt so good.

He made a few more lazy strokes before slowly lifting you off of him, and onto the couch. He got up and walked over to the kitchenette, grabbed a towel and a glass of water. You spread your legs for him and he dabbed at the cum that was leaking out of you, and handed you the glass. You gulped it down, feeling completely dehydrated. You handed the glass back to Bucky and he finished the rest before setting it down on the coffee table.

"I think that was the best sex I've ever had." You whispered, lips creeping onto your tired face. Bucky grinned and pulled you into a hug, laying back down on the couch.

"We're only getting started, Y/N." He pulled the blanket over top of you and pressed a kiss into your temple. "So perfect." He mumbled into your hair.

The two of you must have dozed off because when you woke back up, you heard sniggering.

"That's what those noises were last night." You heard a voice say. It was Sam.

"I did not need to see Barn's bare ass at 7 in the morning. No- scratch that. I did not need to see Barn's ass period." Tony groaned. You pulled your head out of the crook of Bucky's neck and looked up. Tony, Sam, and Steve stood in front of the TV, looking at the scene in front of them.

"At least he's getting some, Tony." Steve snorted.

"And gonna get plenty more." Bucky said, his voice full of morning sleep.

He pulled away from you and stood up from the couch. You heard Tony protest, saying something about not wanting to see Bucky naked. He wrapped you up in the blanket, carefully to make sure none of the other men saw you, and threw you over his shoulder. You waved and smiled at them as Bucky walked off towards his room.

"G’moring! Have fun on your jog!"

[thefanficmonster]

What's It To You?

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: To some people, relationship labels aren’t important. To some they aren’t important only in theory. Well, Y/N finds out she falls in the later category, leading to a falling out with her boyfriend Corpse.

Requested by Anon. You’ll know who you are when you read the fic 😉 Thank you for the ‘angsty argument’ request. I hope I captured what you had in mind and I hope you enjoy the read. Love, Vy 🥰

The time is nearing 7PM and Corpse has barely eaten anything. I always keep track of his meals and time spent in front of a computer screen, making sure he doesn’t spend too much time exhausting his eyes or starving himself. He never notices he’s hungry until he takes a bite of something and his appetite grows in  matter of seconds. The real battle is to get him to take that first bite.

I get up from the couch, walking into the kitchen. I open the fridge, scanning its contents for any ideas that might pop into my head for dinner. When nothing comes to mind, I resort to my last option - asking him. There’s only a slight chance he’ll be of any help. He’ll most likely say he’s not hungry or that he’ll make himself something late. He never does. I’ve gotten used to him being a man-child when it comes to eating. In the eleven months that we’ve been dating, I’ve force fed him more times than he has eaten on his own terms.

I go upstairs, stopping outside the door to his recording room to see if he’s talking to someone so I don’t walk in and interrupt. When no noises come from the inside I knock. 

“Come in.“ 

Upon opening the door, I’m met with Corpse nonchalantly sitting in his desk chair, leaning as back as he can without tipping over. Arms folded behind his head, legs stretched out in front of him. The whole nine yards, suggesting that he not streaming.

“Hey.“ He greets me as he turns his chair a bit in an attempt to face me

“Hey, what’d you like for dinner?“ He opens his mouth to reply the millisecond after I have spoken my question. I already know what that reply will be so I hurry to prevent it, “And no, ‘later’ and ‘I’m not hungry’ aren’t on the menu.“

He sighs, shaking his head as though he’s disappointed that I caught onto his game. The smile that slowly makes its way to his lips, however, suggests that he appreciates my concern. “Grilled cheese sandwiches? I mean, if you feel like it.”

I smile, relieved that the usual convincing portion of our interaction on this specific matter has been avoided. “Ok. Be down in fifteen then.” I give him a nod before heading back out into the hallway.

Before I am able to close the door, I hear someone else’s voice come from behind me. “Hey Corpse, was that on your end?”

Oh shit, he wasn’t muted

“Yeah man, sorry. Accidentally unmuted myself.“ Corpse sounds unbothered by this, but I am a little uneasy now.

Corpse and I have agreed to keep our relationship by a ‘won’t ask, won’t tell’ rule - if someone asks him if he’s in a relationship, he won’t lie and say no, but we haven’t gone public nor do we plan on doing so without someone asking us about it head-on. Well, not us. Him. His friends don’t know me and neither do his fans. I’m not in the same industry. I don’t stream nor film YouTube videos. The most I do for that platform is help Corpse with some editing when he needs to have a rest. So, if anyone were to reveal our relationship, it’d be him.

“Oooh, who was that?“ A girl’s voice asks teasingly. “Corpse, what are you not telling us?“

By this point, I’m out in the hall but I left my ears in the room. I know I’m not in the right here - eavesdropping is most definitely not nice, but I can’t help myself.

I hear him chuckle, “Nah, it’s just my friend Y/N.”

My heart drops so suddenly for a reason beyond my understanding. I feel like a kid feels when it’s told Santa isn’t real - I can’t believe what I heard. 

I hurry to get back downstairs as soon as possible and also as quietly as I can. It’s tough, running with a pit in your stomach and a knot of I’m pretty sure is tears in your throat. When I’m finally in the kitchen, the aforementioned tears are blurring my vision. I try to blink them away but accidentally send one of them trickling down my cheek.

I’m aware this might be an overreaction and if I stopped to think I could probably find ways to justify what Corpse said. But I’m genuinely hurt, and I hate that I am.

I’ve never cared about what others know about me or think of me. Same goes for my relationships. I don’t put labels on things nor on my connection to people. I am surprised and disturbed by how much the label ‘friends’ bothers me. We’ve been dating for almost a year now, you’d think calling me his girlfriend would be second nature. Guess not.

I swallow the hurt and surprise, deciding to keep myself busy with the preparations for the dinner I was planning to make. However, keeping my hands full and giving my eyes a place to look doesn’t stop my thoughts from eating away at me. 

                                                             * * *

Twenty minutes later the sound of a door opening echoes from upstairs, followed by the sound of footsteps going through the hallway and then down the stairs. 

“It smells so good in here.“ He comments, his eyebrows raising when he takes in the freshly made sandwiches on the kitchen island. “You’re the best, Y/N.“

“Hmm, aren’t you lucky you have a friend who knows their way around the kitchen, huh?“ I reply sharply, not even sparing him a glance.

In the twenty minutes I was left alone with my wilding thoughts I declared that I wouldn’t beat around bush when he comes downstairs. That I would address the issue and tell him exactly how I feel about it. What I didn’t plan was being so harsh. I actually barely contain a wince when I realize how sharp of an edge my words had.

I feel ten times more guilty when I see the regret that flashes on his face, “You heard that.” He grips the edges of the table, leaning down and letting out a sigh, “I’m sorry, I panicked.”

The anger in me evaporates, leaving room for the hurt to keep spreading and take over me. I was never really angry with him, I’m just upset by the fact that his immediate reaction wasn’t to refer to me as his girlfriend. 

“Why would you panic? What’s it to you if they know?“ My voice is barely above a whisper now, the tears I’m fighting back are clogging my throat, not allowing me to sound as clearly as I’d like.

“What’s it to you? I thought you didn’t care.“ He argues back, his gaze travelling from the tabletop to my eyes. I see the guilt in all his features and his body language.

“I thought so too.“ I shake my head, “But hearing you call me a ‘friend’...’just a friend’ stings. I don’t even know why, but it does. It feels almost like you are embarrassed of me. If that’s the case you can just tell me, you know?“

In a blink of an eye he’s crouched down in front of me, one hand holding both of mine while the other cups my cheek. “It’s not. It has never been and it will never be the case. You are one amazing person, Y/N. You deserve the world, not to be stuck with me. I’m just...” He trails off, his eyes not able to focus on mine any longer, “I’m scared of how people knowing about us will affect our relationship.”

My blood starts boiling again. I know I need to get away from him before I reach the point of saying something that’ll hurt him, so I untangle my hands from his grasp, pulling away from him. “Weak excuse, Corpse. You know it will change nothing except make me feel more included in your life. I will no longer feel like I’m a house rat no one knows about.” I stand up, unable to look at him, and start heading for the staircase. 

“Y/N, please! ”I stop dead in my tracks when he calls out my name, his footsteps following behind me. “Don’t be...-”

I turn around, cutting him off in the process, “I need to be alone right now.” I tilt my head in the direction of the dining table, “Sit down and eat dinner. We’ll talk...later.”

                                                             * * *

Now that it’s been almost twelve hours with no contact between us I realize that my reaction was justified only to a certain extent. I understand his concerns and I could’ve expressed mine a little more calmly and in a lot less accusatory manner. But what happened happened and all I can do now is go over to him and apologize, establish a proper communication to resolve the issue that I so stupidly blew out of proportion.

My phone died sometime during the night and has been sitting on the charger but still turned off for a while. I go over to it and press-hold the start button. While it’s powering up I start changing my from my pajamas into my regular clothes, noticing a small stain on my shirt in the process. As I’m examining the stain, my phone starts going crazy with notifications, causing me to jump and drop my shirt.

“Fucking hell.” I mumble, disconnecting my phone from the charger and looking at the huge list of notifications on my lock screen. They are all alerts of new followers, likes and tags, non from people I know. Non except one.

@ corpse_husband tagged you in a post 

Wait what?

I tap the notification which leads me to a picture Corpse posted two hours ago. It’s a picture of me taken in the living room without my knowledge. I’m an oversized sweater and yoga pants, my hair in a messy braid and my attention caught by the book in my hands. My glasses have slipped a bit down my nose, suggesting that I’m too concentrated on the contents of the pages in front of me that I haven’t noticed.

We started off as friends but it didn’t take long for her to become my best friend. And then she stole my heart. I know you’ll read this eventually, Y/N. So...hi. Love you. 

PS - the sandwiches were bomb 🖤

I’m more than caught off guard. Like a surprise hug from behind, warmth spreading all throughout my body. 

Without a second of hesitation I put my phone down and run to the bedroom door. However, I don’t make it very far considering I nearly run straight into Corpse’s chest as I exit the room. He catches me before I knock him straight to the ground, thankfully.

“Aren’t you a rocket this morning. Where are you headed?“ He chuckles, holding onto my upper arms.

One look at his smile, a single word out of his mouth and I’m melting. I walk straight into him, wrapping my arms around his torso, hiding my face in his chest. He comfortably rests his chin on the top of my head, not asking any further questions until I finally answer.

“Right here. I was heading for you.“ I whisper before I pull away enough to be able to look him in the eyes. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I was being childish and overdramatic and I’m sorry about all I said. I was really upset.“

“It’s ok, baby. I’m sorry for making you upset in the first place. I understand now how much it means to you.“ He caresses my cheekbone with the back of his hand. “I...um...tried to make things right by...“

I push up on my toes, pressing my lips against his, putting an end to his timid stuttering. “I saw it.” I mumble in the kiss.

“Did you like it?“ 

“I loved it.“

“Did you read the comments?“

My heart skips a beat when I hear that dreaded term. Just the thought of reading through the comments terrifies me. I tell myself that some strangers’ words aren’t gonna have an impact on me, but I know they will. Especially since these ‘strangers’ mean so much to Corpse.

I shake my head. He pulls away, taking my hand and leading me towards the living room. “You have to. You’re gonna love them.”

I reluctantly follow him, plopping down on the couch next to him as he pulls out his phone and scrolls through the comment section of the picture he posted. He was right. All these people have said such things about me and about our relationship. Some verified names are also there, sharing their support much like the fans. 

“See, this is why I was nervous. I’ll have to do duels for your attention now.“ He glances at me, leaning in and kissing my temple as he sometimes does so impulsively.

“You don’t do duels when you are already sitting at the throne. Right next to me.“ I once again capture his lips with mine, tempted to never pull away, but also tempted to keep reading the comments.

Damn, he might be right about the duels.

He takes his phone from me setting it aside as he slowly lifts me and settles me in his lap, never letting our lips detach.

Nevermind. Fuck the duels

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze

[stressisakiller]

My Sunflower My Star

Buck Barnes x reader Soulmate AU

 (Hello Sunflower Part 2)

Summary:  Your soul mark appears on your 18th birthday. What do you do when your father is a part of Hydra and your soul mark binds you to the Winter Soldier.

Warnings: None really, bit of violence, couple of cuss words

Word Count: 2.6k 

A/N: New Edit 3/18: Mostly minor things but still worth a reread Here is the revised chapter two. Let me know what you think and if you have any requests for future parts. Also I originally got the idea for this after reading Wolf, Partner Gloves... by @revengingbarnes so check it out!

Flashbacks are in Italics

Series Masterlist

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It was on one of your missions when you had first seen it, the sunflower on his hip. He was changing after taking his shower and in your mind everything clicked. You stared at it mesmerized, you could see the scars littered across its length from where Hydra tried to remove it from his skin. But it was still as vibrant as the mark that graced your hip. You were pulled out of your reverie by an almost imperceptible chuckle coming from the usually stoic soldier.

 “Like what you see, doll?” You immediately averted your eyes, fighting to hide the telltale blush that you could feel coloring your cheeks. 

“I didn’t mean to stare, I just realized that I had never seen your soul mark before. Do you know who it is?” You asked, trying to steer the conversation away from your obvious staring. 

“No,” he looked confused, “I don’t believe I do, I can’t remember.” his brow was furrowed as he traced the tattoo. He shook his head, ridding his face of emotion, gone was the man, and the soldier stood in his place. 

Laying down with your back to him you let your mind wander. His tattoo was a sunflower, of course, it was, why else would you decide to call him that. Why else would your phrase work? Why else would he recognize you even when he couldn’t actually remember why? The nickname that you gave to him was his tattoo. You let tears fall from your face for the first time since you discovered your own soul mark. You cried for the future that you may never have with him, you cried for the pain he had endured because of your mark on his skin. And when all of your tears had been shed you allowed anger and determination take their place. You would not allow him to lie the rest of his life under the thumb of hydra, you would die before you let that happen. So in that cold hotel, you began to plan, you were going to save the winter soldier even if it killed you.

 So, as you fought to pin him on that concrete you hoped against hope that he would remember.

Pinning him, you could see the shift in his eyes as he recognized you. He had spent way too much time with you as the winter soldier to truly forget you. You spoke quickly and quietly to him between breaths. There was a flicker in his eyes as you spoke, spurring you on. His eyes weren’t completely clear showing that he was still in soldier mode, so you did the only thing you could think of, the only thing that you knew would get him moving. You gave him an order. 

"Soldier, change in mission, you are to come with me." You saw the flash of confusion on his face, gone as quickly as it arrived and you prayed that he would listen. He nodded and turned to follow you. You sprinted to the nearest car and hopped in. Catching Steve’s eye from the other side of the bridge. You looked at the girl next to him, knowing she would understand, you quickly signed "trust me" to her, she nodded and pulled on Steve's arm, letting him know what you said. He nodded at you before allowing her to pull him with her to follow Nat and escape

You rushed to get the car moving, throwing it into gear before peeling out and driving in the opposite direction as Steve and Natasha. You pressed the gas harder as the sound of sirens reached you, Hydra wouldn’t be far behind. You drove fast, weaving through the cars, noticing the cars following behind you as hydra started to catch up. Then you saw it, the opportunity you needed to escape, a way for them to believe you dead, or at least lost. The river. You looked over at Bucky his eyes were clearer than they were on the bridge. They mirrored the same determination you were feeling. He nodded and you turned the wheel. It felt as if time slowed as you hit the guardrail, the car careening into the murky water below.

You blinked the darkness from your eyes at the impact. The cold water rushing into the car and throwing your brain into high gear. There were gunshots above you, you would have to stay under as long as you possibly could. It was imperative that you made it as far away from the bridge and the hydra agents as you could.  Looking over at Bucky you both took a deep breath as the water closed over your heads. Everything felt muted as you escaped the flooded car, you swam, kicking your legs as hard as you could, using the current to drag your farther and farther downriver.

You burst out of the water coughing and gasping when you couldn’t hold your breath any longer. You scanned the water, looking for any sign of Bucky that you could find, You started to panic when you couldn’t see him. Shit, what if he didn’t make it, what if he got out earlier than you, what if something happened? Your swirling thoughts were interrupted by a head of dark brown hair bursting out of the river downstream from you. Gasping for air just as you had a few moments ago, your heart squeezed in your chest, tension leaving you at seeing him alive. You swam over to him, making your way to the bank of the river. Only exiting the river when you found an area that would mask your exit from anyone that came looking.

 You grabbed Bucky’s arm pulling him after you. Running towards the buildings lining the river, finding an alley to duck into you took a moment to assess your surroundings. You had a mental map in your mind of DC, thanks to all of your time on missions here. You took a second to figure out where you were in relation to your safe house. Bucky remaining blessedly quiet, letting you take the lead, scanning the area for any threats. You finally figured out the best way to get to your safe house without getting caught, mostly ducking through alleys and deserted side streets. It had been dark for a couple of hours by the time you arrived at the door of the nondescript brick building you had chosen.

You were shivering from head to toe as you walked around to the fire escape, using a hidden pole to pull the ladder from its place above your heads. You started up the ladder, waiting for Bucky when you reached the first landing. When he was safely beside you, you pulled the ladder back up so that you couldn’t be followed. You climbed to the middle floor of the building, you had set up traps on the floors above and below making it the safest place in the building. You pulled a brick out from near the window, taking the key you hid inside to open the locked window. You slipped through the small opening, pausing to listen for any hints that someone else was in the room. When you were mostly confident that it was just you, you pulled your gun from its holster and turned on one of the gas lamps.

You didn’t have to worry about anyone looking in since you had blackout curtains over each of the windows; the cameras that you had placed around the building gave you ample view of anyone that walked by. You walked through each room of the empty apartment checking every nook and cranny before holstering your pistol. Turning on a couple more lights and the heater, you walked back into the main living area. You smiled at the sight of Bucky standing in the middle of the room looking like a lost puppy, something that you would have never attributed to him before that moment. For the first time in months, you were able to relax. You motioned for him to sit at the table, walking towards the kitchen to make some dinner. You hadn’t eaten all day and you knew that Bucky was probably in the same boat. 

“Any requests for food?” you asked, glancing at the soldier. He was sitting in the chair as straight as a rod, muscles tense in case he needed to defend himself. You hated how Hydra had ruined his ability to feel safe. He moved his gaze from scanning the room to staring at your face. You waited patiently for him to answer, knowing that he wasn’t used to being asked for an opinion. 

“Umm, I don’t really know what foods I like, so anything is fine.” He finally said, looking self-conscious. You tread over to him, taking care to appear harmless, noticing the small tensing of his shoulders every step you took towards him. You held your hands out in surrender, kneeling in front of him to make your presence less threatening.

“I swear to you, you will never have any reason to fear me. I am here to help, and I could never hurt you. You are safe here, Hydra won’t find you here and if they do I will have your back until they are dead or I am.” you spoke softly but he could hear the conviction in your voice, and for some reason it made him trust you. He felt like he knew you and he was trying to figure out why. He nodded to you and you headed back to the stove, making a simple meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup. You placed the food in front of him and sat on the other side of the table, relaxing at the warmth of the food and the knowledge that at least for tonight you and Bucky were safe.

You discretely studied the man across from you. Taking a moment to look at your soulmate. A peaceful moment where you weren't being forced to fight him or stuck on a mission where you felt conflicted by the actions you were forced to commit. You just got to see him. You could tell that his hair was longer than the last time you saw him. The black that they had placed around his eyes was running down his cheeks from the river water. He was as buff as you had ever seen him and his metal arm was the same as always with the red star on his shoulder. But it was his eyes that captured your attention. Those piercing blue eyes were looking at you with confusion and just a hint of hope as he silently ate his food. His eyes were so much more expressive and so very different than when he was brainwashed. You gave him a small smile when you noticed his gaze. After you both finished stuffing your faces you set down your fork, took a deep breath, and spoke. 

"Alright," you paused, worried that you were about to regret the words coming out of your mouth, "ask me anything" He took a second, you swore you could see the gears turning in his head. 

"The man on the bridge, he knew me?" He spoke slowly as if tasting the words as they crossed his tongue. You gave him a small smile, and nodded, 

"Yes, he knew you, very well actually,” you took a deep breath and started playing with your fingers, “his name is Steve Rogers and you grew up together. Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, but your friends call you Bucky." He studied you intently while you reached around your neck and took off his dog tags, handing them to him, "these are yours, you were in WWII, and in 1943 you fell off a train and were captured by Hydra, you were brainwashed and frozen. They took you in and out of cryo, using you to do their bidding before throwing you back in." He slowly nodded, taking in your words and mulling them over before speaking. 

"I don't fully remember what all happened or what all I did but that sounds right." He raised his eyes to look straight at you again, "And you, I know you"

 You took a sip of your drink placing it carefully on the table before speaking 

"Yes, you know me" you started chewing on your lip as you decided how to proceed. "My father worked for Hydra since before I was born and when I was 10 they started testing on me. My father would take me with him and have me watch as they would put you in and out of cryo. I hated him before but seeing the torture and pain they put you through was what made me decide to find a way to get us both out. Then I turned 18, and everything went to hell. I got my soulmarks and blatantly disobeyed him. He had enough and tried to wipe me, they had done it before when I was younger, but this time they couldn't. I was too stubborn and already had a purpose that superseded anything that they could do. But I let them believe that they had won, that the brainwashing had worked. They had me fight and train with you as well as occasionally go on missions with you, once they believed me under their control." You saw the hint of a smile on his face as he recalled 

"You would always say that phrase, the one you said on the bridge." His gaze on you was intense and you couldn’t fight the smile that was threatening to escape, 

"Privet, podsolnukh, solntse vzoshlo, i tvoi mechty ispolnilis'. Hello, sunflower the sun is up and your dreaming is done. The sunflower is my favorite flower and so it seemed fitting for you."  There was an emotion in his eyes at that moment that you couldn't name. 

"You mentioned your soul marks, you have two?" You nodded slowly at his question, "… may I see them?"

 You felt as if your heart was stuck in your throat, for the first time since you turned 18 you felt ashamed of the tattoo that masked one of your marks. Unable to say anything you nodded and stood. Lifting the right side of your shirt and pulling the waist of your pants down just enough to see your tattoo. He stared at your hip a moment before looking up at your face,

 "I don't understand" he murmured as he looked back down at the night sky inked on your skin. 

You took a deep breath and started to explain, "My soul mark is a star, a red star," you pointed to the original star before continuing, "I couldn't let them use it against me so I got a tattoo to disguise it." You could see the question swirling in his eyes and you nodded. It felt electric when he brushed his finger over the star, and you couldn't help the gasp that passed your lips. He smiled, truly smiled, and it was in that moment that you decided you would spend the rest of your life doing whatever you could to see that smile again.

"And the other one?" he asked finally pulling his gaze from your hip. You quietly pulled up the sleeve of your shirt to show him the flowers and the wolf. Understanding crashed over him and he let out a breathy laugh.

"The Howling commandoes, it's referencing the unit that I was apart of with Steve near the end of the war, although I'm sure what the flowers mean."

"I looked them up," you offered, continuing when he nodded to you, "The Marigold is the flower for your birth month, it also means warm and undying love, as well as grief and sorrow. The Daisy stands for new beginnings, baby's breath is for everlasting, unconditional love, and the gladiolus is for strength and integrity." but the time you finished speaking you could see the tears in his eyes as the reality of what fate had placed on you to represent him sank in. He didn't say anything before he stood and lifted the left side of his shirt and you got to see the sunflower that extended from his hip up to his ribs, full of life and color, so different to the soldier that Hydra had made him into. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you looked at him.

 "It is nice to officially meet you, my sunflower." You couldn’t help the watery laugh that escaped as he said those words. 

"It's nice to meet you my star, I have wished for this every day since I first got my marks." You replied. With that, he pulled you into his arms and you decided that this was your favorite place to be.

Tagged users: @calwitch @writerwrites

[impalas-r-important]

Love of my Life - (2) New Guy

Summary: Bobby brings home an injured hunter. Dean's not so fond of him.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Word Count: 3429

Series Masterlist

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“Hello?” You could hear Sam answer his phone from the living room. You were in the kitchen cleaning up. You, Sam and Bobby had a deal that whoever didn’t cook meals had to clean up after. Sam had made the both of you grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for a warm lunch on a chilly January afternoon. “Oh, hey Bobby, how did your hunt go?” A few seconds passed and then you heard Sam mutter, “Yeah, sure. We’ll be ready when you get here. How far away are you?” He walked into the kitchen, still on the phone, with a concerned look on his face. You gave him the what’s going on look and he held up his finger and said his goodbyes to Bobby.

“What happened, is Bobby okay?” You pressed.

“Yeah, he’s fine. He said that he met another hunter who was working the case, so they teamed up. I guess the new guy saved Bobby’s bacon and got pretty beat up. Bobby’s bringing him back here to get him all healed up. He said it was the least he could do. He asked if we could get the spare room cleaned out and ready.”

After days of researching for Bobby’s case, you had discovered it was yet another Greek god with another vendetta or unfinished business or whatever. Blah, blah, blah. It was getting repetitive at this point, but gods were always tricky to deal with. You were just glad to hear Bobby was okay and that someone was there to help him out.

“What happened? Do we know if he’s badly hurt?” You wondered.

“All Bobby said was that he doctored him up as much as he could. They aren’t far from here now.”

“Okay, I’ll go get the room ready.” You wiped your hands off on a dish towel and headed upstairs. You stripped the sheets off the bed and threw them in the washer, putting a set of new ones on. The room hadn’t been used in a long time. You and Sam were crashing there in 2 of the other spare bedrooms, but this one was pretty dusty from sitting idle all this time. After clearing out boxes of old books from the closet, you grabbed a duster and went over everything.

“They’re here!” Sam yelled from downstairs. “I’m gonna go help him inside.”

You ungracefully shoved your cleaning stuff into a bucket, then quickly sprayed a little air freshener to try and mask the smell you could only describe as “old”. You could hear voices coming closer down the hall. You grabbed your supplies and walked them to the bathroom to put them away. Their conversation was easily heard through the thin walls.

“Alright, here’s where you can crash.” Sam said as he helped the new guy into the room and sat him down on a chair in the corner. “You really took a beating, huh?” Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. “I don’t think I caught your name, by the way.”

“I’m Nick.” He reached his hand out to shake Sam’s but didn’t make it all the way before he winced and grabbed his ribs.

“Well Nick, thanks for saving Bobby back there. He said he wouldn’t have made it out of that one if it weren’t for you. I’m Sam.”

“Sam, like as in Sam Winchester?” Nick raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you’ve heard of me?”

“Buddy, I wasn’t born yesterday. Every hunter who knows what they’re doing has heard of you and your brother.” You heard Nick say as you walked into the room and leaned against the door frame. He turned to look at you and straightened his posture in the chair as much as he could. He gave you a little half smile and blinked a few times as he managed to say, “Wow, uh, hey, hi…”

His stammering made you laugh a little. “I overheard you boys talking. You’re Nick, right?” He nodded. “Well, anyone who saves Bobby Singer is a friend of ours. I’m Y/N.”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Nick winked and gave you a cheeky grin which quickly turned into a grimace. He was definitely in pain. He was covered in mud stains and blood. His ankle was bent the wrong way and he had bloodied bandages wrapped around his bicep and thigh. But through all that, you couldn’t help but notice that he was surprisingly handsome. He had sandy blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Most of the hunters you met looked like truckers or smelled like dumpsters.

“Don’t even try man, she could kick your ass 3 different ways before you knew what hit you.” Sam joked. “I’m going to let Y/N take it from here. She’s better at the doctor thing than I am. I’ll go grab your bags and bring them up.”

“Why don’t we see what we can do about some of that bleeding.” You grabbed the first aid kit from on top of the dresser and walked over to him. “Can I?” You motioned to the bandage on his arm, and he nodded. You peeled away the layers to find a nasty looking gash. “Geez…” You whispered. “So, I can stitch you up, but it’s going to hurt pretty bad.”

“I’m no wussy. Do what you gotta do.” Nick looked up at you and for half a second you caught yourself studying his ocean eyes, but you looked away quickly and grabbed the sanitizing alcohol. “This will probably hurt the most. Sorry.” You dumped some on his wound and he clenched in pain and closed his eyes, letting a big exhale escape through his nose. You threaded your needle and began to stitch his cut closed. You had done this many times before and with Sam and Dean and liked to think you were decent. But you knew the key was distraction.

“So, where are you from?” You asked.

“Not really from anywhere. I grew up like a lot of hunters did. On the road with my dad and uncle, learning tricks of the trade as we went. What about you?”

“Well, I was born in Arizona, but my family was killed when I was six. I spent my life bouncing between hunters until I could drive. Then I went out on my own.”

“I’m sorry about your family.” His sympathy caught you off guard. Most hunters couldn’t care less about others.

“Thank you, but we all have our sob story. No one chooses to be a hunter just for kicks and giggles”

“Man, I’ve heard some crazy stories about those Winchester brothers.” Nick gave a small laugh. “It’s weird to actually meet one of them in person. What happened to Dean? I thought he and Sam were inseparable.”

You sighed and your heart dropped like it always did when his name was mentioned. “He actually got out of the hunting life. He lives close to here, stops by to check on us every once in a while.”

“I’d love to meet him. All I’ve heard is how badass he is. Like the ultimate hunting machine.”

“Well, you call him badass, I call him dumbass.”

“Hah! You guys close?”

“Not as close as we used to be. Sam and I try to keep him out of the hunting life as much as we can. He helps with research every now and then but hasn’t been out on a case in a while.” You finished your last stitch. “Your arm is all done but looks like we need to take care of this one as well.” You pointed down to his leg. “Do you care if I just cut your pant leg off? This pair looks like a goner anyway.”

“You can take my pants off anytime you want.” Nick smirked at you.

“I’m going to chalk that up to the loss of blood and pretend you didn’t say that. Keep in mind, I’m the one with the needle here.” You held up the long needle as you threaded it with a clean suture and gave him your best don’t go there face.

Nick reminded you a strange amount of the Dean of old. Handsome, but in a different way, snarky, and seemed like the kind of guy who flirted with any and every girl he could find. You couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t like the attention he was giving you. Part of you still wished it were Dean giving you that attention though.

You finished up and started to pick up the bloody bandages off the floor. “I’m going to go get Sam and he can help you get into the shower. I think we need to take you to the doctor for your ankle though. Looks broken to me.”

“Damn, I was hoping to avoid the hospital. I don’t suppose you know how to set a broken ankle?” He looked at you hopefully.

“You’re outta luck, sorry.” You shrugged and began to head out the door.

“Y/N?” Nick stopped you before you left, and you turned to face him. “Thank you.” You shot him a smile and a nod before heading downstairs to find Sam.

After Sam had helped Nick wash all the blood off of himself, you two had taken him to the hospital where they set his ankle and gave him some pain killers for the broken ribs. Sam had gotten him upstairs and into bed and you brought some food up for him.

“Here you go, a Singer specialty.” You placed a tray with Bobby’s chili on his lap and handed him the remote to the ancient box tv.

“What makes it so special?” Nick asked, stirring the chili skeptically.

“If you ask Bobby, he’ll say it’s a secret family recipe, but I’ve been around long enough to know that the real magic happens when he dumps it from the can into the pot.” Nick laughs as you get his food situated so it won’t spill. “I brought you in some movies if you want to watch them. Mostly Dean’s old western tapes. We’re in short supply of variety.”

“Thank you. But I do have to say, I feel a little uncomfortable having you guys help me this much. I’m usually a strictly independent person…”

“We all need a little help sometimes.” You were actually glad that Nick was here. It gave you something to keep your mind off of Dean. “I’m in the room next to yours, just bang on the wall if you need anything.”

“Goodnight, Y/N. I owe you one.” He flashed his tired smile at you, and you returned the gesture.

“Night, Nick.”

You woke the next morning to find Sam’s car gone. You figured he was at the gym or swung by Dean’s house for something. You headed into the kitchen and started on making breakfast. The cupboards were pretty empty, but you knew there was always pancake mix around somewhere. You whipped up a few cakes with a side of scrambled eggs. When you were done, you headed up to Nick’s room to see how he was doing. You knocked softly, careful not to wake him if he was still sleeping. A few seconds passed with no response, so you cracked the door open and saw him dead asleep with the half-eaten bowl of chili still on his lap and the tv crackling with black and white static. This made you chuckle a little. You tiptoed over to him and gently lifted the tray off his lap to take with you downstairs and turned off the television.

The rest of the morning was spent looking for cases in the papers and online, but you didn’t have much luck. You gave up after a while when you heard a boot clomping down the stairs, letting you know that Nick was on his way.

“Morning, sunshine!” Nick pronounced and winked at you as he walked in the room.

“It’s 2 in the afternoon, lazy bones.” He laughed a little and sat down in the chair across from you. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was yesterday, that’s for sure.”

“I bet you’re hungry.”

“Starved, actually.” He placed a hand on his stomach.

“Do you feel up for going out and grabbing a bite? We’re short on supplies here, but I know a great little diner just a few miles into town. Mel’s.”

“That sounds amazing! I could really go for a great big cheeseburger right now.” Look at that, yet another similarity to Dean. You could swear this was the universe playing a cruel joke on you.

“Sam’s not here and Bobby’s holed up in his room, so it’s just you and me. Hope that’s ok.”

“More than fine with me.” He flirted. “Our first date!”

“Whatever. Come on, gimpy.” You helped him up out of the chair and led him out the door and towards your car.

You had actually really enjoyed your late lunch with Nick. It was nice to get to know someone new and you were surprised at how well the two of you got along. You usually butted heads with other hunters, but Nick was pretty easy going and had a good sense of humor.

A little while later, you pulled back into the driveway of Bobby’s house to see both Sam and Dean’s cars in the driveway.

“Wow, that’s a beauty of a car.” Nick remarked as the two of you walked past the Impala.

“Don’t touch it. That’s Dean’s baby. He’ll kill you if you scratch it.” You warned as you walked into the house.

Dean quickly rushed at you as soon as you opened the door and pulled you into a bear hug. “Y/N where the hell have you been?! I’ve been calling you over and over! No one knew where you were! Don’t scare me like that!”

“What? We were just in town. We haven’t even been gone 2 hours…” You pulled out your phone to check for his missed calls but found it to be dead.

“We?” Dean interrogated. Nick walked in a few steps behind you and Dean glared at him. “Who the hell are you?” He instinctively pulled you behind him.

"Whoa, whoa easy there tiger." You put your hand on Dean's arm and he looked at you, with questioning eyes. "That's Nick. Didn’t Sam tell you? He saved Bobby's ass on their last hunt and got pretty beat up in the process. Bobby brought him back here to heal up a bit."

"And you're what, just hanging out with some hunter you barely know? He could be a psychopath! You know better than this!"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes and feel annoyed at Dean’s over-protectiveness. "He's got a broken ankle, bruised ribs, and massive gashes on his arm and leg. You really think I couldn't handle him if I needed to?"

Dean kept his eyes on Nick the whole time, looking him up and down, trying to get a read on him. Bobby slammed the door of his room and walked out to the commotion. "Would you idjits keep it down out here? I could hear every word of this stupid conversation!" Bobby looked to Dean who was clearly still in defense mode. "Oh, pull the stick out, Dean. The kid literally saved my life. He's harmless."

It took Nick a few seconds to process the situation. He walked over to Dean and reached his hand out. "It's an honor to meet you, Dean. I look up to you a lot. You’ve got some great people here; they’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’d never do anything to hurt them.”

Dean was clearly expecting him to say anything but that, and reluctantly shook his hand. You wished you had a camera to take a picture of look on Dean's face. Priceless.

"I hate to break up the fan fest, but what are you doing here, boy?" Bobby questioned Dean. "Not that I ain't happy to see you, but you haven't been around here much lately."

“I, uh, was going to see if Y/N wanted to hit up Mel’s. I’m starved.” Dean looked at you for an answer.

“Nick and I were actually just there…” You felt a bit guilty, but you didn’t know that Dean was even planning on coming over today. “I’m sure Sam would go with you. I haven’t seen him yet today, but it sounds like he’s up in his room.”

“Oh, okay.” Dean looked dejected but nodded and headed towards the staircase.

Dean kind of knocked on Sam’s door as he walked in.

“Uh, sure, come on in.” Sam gave Dean a glare as he folded clothes and organized them neatly on his bed.

“I knocked. You want to go grab some food, Sammy?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m almost done here.”

Dean walked further inside and over to the dresser to fiddle with some things sitting on top of it. “Why didn’t you tell me about the new guy?”

“I doubt he’s sticking around. I didn’t think there was anything to tell.” Sam shrugged.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t let Y/N just hang around some stranger all day. We don’t know anything about him.”

“Dean, he seems like a teddy bear. We’ve been doing this for long enough to know when someone is a piece of crap. Nick seems genuine.” Sam let out a small laugh. “You know, he’s actually a lot like you. I think you’d really get along with him if you were still hunting.”

“Yeah whatever.” Dean grumbled as he played with a knife he had picked up.

“What crawled up your butt?” Sam shot him a sideways glace. Dean didn’t respond. “Oh, I see. You just don’t like him hanging around Y/N.”

Dean clenched his jaw. “Well, I’m so sorry if I just want to make sure she’s safe. I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to look out for her. Someone’s gotta do it if you aren’t.”

Sam scoffed. “Hey, I am looking out for her, Dean. But she doesn’t need me to. She is way more than capable of handling herself and honestly, it’s none of your business who she decides to spend her time with. She’s not your girl anymore.” Sam knew it was a touchy subject, but he didn’t care. He hated to see how much Y/N was hurting because of Dean.

Dean slammed the knife into the top of the dresser. He shook his head and turned to leave. “I’m outta here.” He walked down the hall but stopped at the top of the stairs as he watched you grab a soda from the fridge and a bottle of pain pills which you then took over to Nick. He hated the way that Nick looked at you. He hated that you sat down next to him and smiled your perfect smile at someone other than himself. Dean ran his hand along the railing and subconsciously made his way back to his brother’s room.

“Does she like him?” Dean asked in a broken voice as he leaned against the doorframe, looking at the ground.

“I don’t know.” Sam could easily see that his brother was genuinely hurting. “But I meant what I said, Dean. She’s not your girl anymore. You chose Lisa over her.”

Dean didn’t have words to describe the heartache he was feeling. “I didn’t… I… I don’t know…” Was all he managed to get out.

“Dean, Y/N is still like a sister to me even though you two aren’t together anymore. We’ve gotten a lot closer since we both died and came back, and honestly, I’m happy to see that a guy is making her smile. She was really heartbroken over you. She still is. So maybe it sucks for you to see her with a guy that’s not you, but now you know how she feels every time she sees you with Lisa.”

Dean slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground, with his head hanging in his lap and his hands on the back of his neck. Sam sat down next to him.

“Dean, I’m not trying to be harsh on you.”

“I know. You’re right though.”

“Maybe it’s none of my business, but why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you move in with Lisa so soon after we died?”

Dean cleared his throat. “I don’t know Sam. I guess, she was there, and Y/N wasn’t. There’s just a lot to it and I don’t expect you to understand.” Dean got up, regained his composure and left swiftly. Making sure Y/N and Nick were out of sight before he left.

Chapter 3

[matbarzyy]

Brave [A.B.]

A/N: This is a very self indulgent piece I’m really not sure I should be posting. I’ve had a weird few days and this came out of it. If depression is triggering to you, please don’t read this. It’s basically just Tito picking the reader up on a really bad day. I know I need it sometimes, so as much as I thought I should keep this to myself I figured one of you might need it too.

Word count: 4495

Warnings: severe depression

.

“Hi,” Anthony greeted you when you picked up the phone, heading to his car. “How are you?” He asked the question every single time he saw you or got you on the phone, which you used to think was just out of politeness, but he nagged you whenever you dodged answering. He genuinely cared and he made sure to ask everyone he loved how they were doing regularly.

“I’m okay, you?” You hoped the short answer would suffice him, because you didn’t have much energy to elaborate further than that. Your eyes were barely open, but even when they were all you could see was your bedroom ceiling or the mess that you had made of the place.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good,” He sat in the driver’s seat of his car, buckling his seatbelt. “I’m headed to the gym and then I’ll train for a while, do you want me to come over later tonight? Cuddles and a movie?” He made the offer he had never heard you say no to. He hadn’t seen you in a few days and he was dying to hold you and nuzzle his face in your neck to hear you giggle because he was tickling you.

“Oh, um,” You cleared your throat because you felt like your voice was giving up on you. He sounded so excited, but you just couldn’t say yes. There was no way you could make your place look even half decent by tonight, and you didn’t want him to see it (or you) like this.

“Are you crying?” Tito stopped everything he was doing, worrying his lower lip between his teeth at the sudden shift of mood. He should have picked up on it when you barely said anything when you answered the phone.

“No, no I’m fine,” You lied, trying to keep your voice sounding as normal as possible. It was hard with your nose blocked and your chest shaking as loud sobs threatened to fall from your lips soon. “I’m not sure tonight is the best night for plans though, what about tomorrow?” You tried to get the idea out of his head and remake the plans for some other time as fast as possible, you wouldn’t last long on the phone with him without crying.

“Yeah, tomorrow works. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again for good measure, a frown settling on his face.

“Of course, don’t worry about me. I’ll talk to you later?” Your cheerfulness sounded fake but you couldn’t bring yourself to give him more than that.

Something didn’t sit right with Anthony. Even after you hung up he replayed your words in his head. You were definitely crying, and he couldn’t just leave you like that, even if you had asked him not to come over tonight. He knew you needed your alone time, but he hadn’t seen you in a few days and if you weren’t okay he didn’t want you to feel lonely. You tended to have a bit of an attitude and you’d have no trouble letting him know he wasn’t wanted if you were busy and didn’t want him over, in which case he’d just go to the gym.

He couldn’t leave you without checking, so he took another turn and found himself on his way to your place. The key to your apartment was attached right next to his so that he’d never lose it, and he was thankful you trusted him to have it. He never used it much, but he couldn’t stand it when you cried (and god forbid he was ever the reason for it, because the first time you two had a fight he apologised so much he ended up crying more than you).

“Hello?” Anthony called out to make himself known as he walked into the apartment and made sure to lock the door behind himself. The living room was messier than you ever let him see it. None of your blankets were folded, and some clothes littered the floor by the couch. Even your shoes were in the way, something he couldn’t understand because you were always so adamant in putting them away as soon as you walked in. “Hey,” He found you the second he stepped into your bedroom, your body curled up under the blankets.

“What are you doing here?” You had heard him unlock the door and tried to pull yourself together, but your hair was still a mess and you couldn’t get yourself out of bed fast enough anyway.

“You didn’t sound okay on the phone,” He glanced towards the window for a second. The curtains weren’t letting much light in, and your room smelled a little stuffy, like you hadn’t opened the window or even your door all day.

“But… I thought you said you were going to the gym and that you wanted to train?” You tried to adjust the covers on your bed, but even the sweater you were wearing was twisted around your body. Tito could see you were a mess and it made you feel even worse. You had been so good at hiding it up until now, he had never seen you like this.

“The gym will be there for me to go to tomorrow, you need me right now and you’re always going to be my priority,” He took in everything around him. Some more clothes were scattered over the floor, an empty glass of water was sitting on the nightstand with a cereal bar wrapper, and more of those could be found on your carpet. It wasn’t hard to guess you hadn’t moved for hours, or even the whole day.

“I’m okay,” You swallowed heavily, a guilty feeling taking over the pit of your stomach. You didn’t like it when guests came in and you didn’t have time to clean, you needed the place to be spotless so that they couldn’t judge how lazy you were.

“Don’t lie to me,” His voice was soft as he crouched by the bed, ignoring everything around him to focus on your first. “I can tell you’ve been crying,” He went to cup your cheek, and you let him for a second before turning your face back into your pillow.

Your body shook with a silent sob while his hand fell off. He felt so helpless, watching you like this without knowing how to help you. Seeing you cry always hurt him, but the way you were right now shattered his heart. He didn’t really know what was wrong, and he had no clue of when you had started feeling bad enough for you to end up like this.

“It’ll be okay,” He settled for whispering soothing words, not sure if touching you would help or make it worse. He knew from a few texts and conversations that you had days like these, but he had never been there to help you through them. You had definitely downplayed it whenever you told him about it. “Baby, please look at me,”

“I’m sorry,” Your voice came out broken and quiet as you slowly turned your head, red swollen eyes staring into his bright blue ones.

“Don’t apologise,” He settled for taking your hand in his and rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb. “You don’t have to, I just want to help, okay?”

“I’m tired,” You whispered, your whole body so slumped you couldn’t even move your hand in his.

“Did you eat today?” He asked, and the shrug you gave him (which was so small he wouldn’t have noticed it if he weren’t so attentive) was enough of an answer.

“Kind of,” You didn’t want him to know you hadn’t touched food in hours. You didn’t want any.

“If I made you a sandwich right now, would you eat it?” He checked hopefully, you usually loved his grilled cheese, and you often praised him because he always managed to make a sandwich taste good no matter what was left in your fridge. He tried not to sigh in defeat when you shook your head, doing his best to keep his mood up for you. “Okay,” He pushed himself back to his feet, his hand falling from yours as he went for the door.

Your brain screamed at you that this was it. Tito was a patient man but there was only so much he could take when you were emotionally unavailable. You couldn’t even hold a simple conversation. You ruined it. You were worthless, and now that Anthony was seeing it too he was about to leave you.

“Please don’t leave me,” You croaked out, weakly reaching after him in a moment of panic.

“What are you talking about?” He turned around and grasped your hand in his. “I’m never going to leave you,” He fell back to his knees by your side, reaching over to hug you. “I promise, I’m always going to be there for you,”

“I don’t want to be alone,” You rested your forehead against his shoulder, unable to bring yourself to wrap your arms around him.

“I’m here baby, I’m right here with you,” Anthony brushed your hair back and kept saying reassuring words to you, repeating them until he was sure you wouldn’t be able to doubt how much he meant them. “I’m not leaving, I love you.”

He slid into the bed with you, kicking his socks off his feet before pulling you against his chest tightly. His shirt was wet with your tears, and he clenched his jaw to hold back his own every time your sobs made your body jolt against his. He could never leave you. He couldn’t even bring himself to consider it for a second. He was more in love with you than he ever thought he would be and he knew he’d be by your side through absolutely anything.

You had been there for him on countless nights after games the team lost, or games where he beat himself up for not playing well enough because they scraped the win and if he didn’t mess up this or that earlier in the game everything would have been fine. You always lifted his mood, you pulled him out of his thoughts and he couldn’t help how much he smiled whenever you were with him.

He couldn’t express how much he wished he could put a smile back on your face right this second, but this wasn’t just disappointment over a game or a project. It was a deep rooted issues and an accumulation of stress he couldn’t even imagine himself dealing with. It was no wonder you had to crash at some point, but he wished he had caught onto the signs earlier to help you before you hit rock bottom.

“Is it okay if I get up for a minute?” He eventually murmured.

You had stopped crying, and your breathing was steady. You had even gone as far as placing a small kiss on his chest where your face was tucked.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” You let him pull away, coughing a little to clear your throat. You felt pathetic for keeping him there for so long just because you were too insecure to let him get to the living room without crying about him leaving you.

“I’ll be right back,” He promised as he rolled out of the bed.

When he walked back into your room, he was holding a bottle of your favorite smoothie. You liked to make them yourself, but when you couldn’t this was always your go to. Tito picked it up before coming in hope it would cheer you up a little if you were having a bad day. Now that he saw you were doing much worse than he had imagined, he hoped it would at least motivate you to put something in your stomach.

“I stopped by the store on my way here,” He explained to you when he noticed your questioning eyes. “Drink it for me?”

You pushed yourself to sit up, your stomach in knots. You weren’t hungry, but you could try for him. You took the open bottle from his hands and forced yourself to take a few sips. He sat on the edge of the bed, waiting and hoping the sugar would make you feel a little better, at least physically.

You handed him the bottle back soon after, most of the smoothie left untouched. He was about to say something, ask you to drink a little bit more, but you beat him to it.

“I’m really not hungry,” You gathered your pillow to your chest, slowly sliding back into the bed.

“That’s okay,” Anthony didn’t want to make you feel like you couldn’t make your own decisions. He didn’t know what you needed, he was just guessing. “Is there anything I can do?” He eventually asked.

“I don’t know why I feel like this,” You were exhausted physically and mentally, and even just speaking to him was draining in that moment. You only wanted to lay in your bed and cry until the pain stopped.

“You don’t have to explain,” He got comfortable on the bed too, sitting with his back against the headboard. “You’ll get through it, and I’ll be there for you in any way I can,”

“Thank you for coming over,” You crawled over to put your pillow in his lap and rest your head there.

“Always,” He placed his lips on your forehead and closed his eyes. “Do you want to just lay in bed for a while?”

“I don’t want to do anything,” You whispered, feeling him pull the covers tighter on your shoulders. “But then I think too much,”

“Okay, we can put some music on?” He tried to find a way to distract you from your thoughts. “Or I can read to you for a while,” Books on the shelves about your desk caught his attention. You had mentioned you couldn’t find time to read lately, and he wondered if you’d be up for it now.

“What book?” You turned your head to look up at him. It wasn’t much, but the small gleam in your eyes told him he took a step in the right direction.

“You can pick, or I’ll just grab anything that sounds good,” He suggested, leaving it open for you, and you lifted your head as you answered.

“I don’t mind any,” You let him slide out of the bed and quickly inspect the covers to make a choice.

A few seconds later he had resumed his original position and his knuckles gently ran over your cheek while his voice filled the room. He liked to think he was a decent reader. He wasn’t the best out there, but he didn’t really stammer on words and he kept a good rhythm to keep you interested in what he was saying.

What he didn’t know was that you couldn’t focus enough on the words to understand anything he said anyway. You didn’t mind, there was no need for you to understand, this was just filling the silence and the fact that he was there, taking care of you and reading to you, made your heart swell. You were terrified he’d leave, that he’d see how much of a mess you were and tell you he didn’t want to deal with that, yet here he was.

He spent ages repeating that he loved you to reassure you, he made sure you ate something, and he tried his best to ease your mind. You felt numb all over, everything was bland around you, but the one thing you still knew was that you were in love with Anthony. You could doubt how much you cared about your job, or even your own self. You could doubt your friendships and some family relationships, but you couldn’t doubt that you adored the man currently sitting on your bed, and you couldn’t doubt that he cared about you too.

He didn’t stop reading until he was absolutely sure you were asleep. His voice felt a little hoarse by that point, and he closed the book to place it on your nightstand, making sure not to wake you as he grabbed his phone.

.

“What are you doing?” You blinked your eyes open when you heard him move around your room. The bed was cold apart from where you were laying, so you knew he must have been up for a while.

“I’m just cleaning a little,” He put the shirt he was holding over the back of your chair.

“I can do it, I’m sorry it’s such a mess,” You sat up, immediately worrying about the state of your apartment. You knew it was a wreck, and you hated that he had to deal with it.

“No, no baby,” He shook his head and came to sit on the edge of the bed. “The kitchen, living room and bathroom are all tidy. I’m just going to fold your clothes and pick up whatever else is on the floor right now, and then I’ll hoover, okay?”

He wasn’t sure of what to do to help, but after a few minutes of research on his phone as you slept, he found a post saying cleaning your room for you or cooking would be a good idea. Since he was awful in the kitchen he settled for cleaning the entire apartment.

“You don’t have to do that, let me help you,” You protested, feeling lazy and useless while he did everything for you. It wasn’t fair to him. Your heart rate picked up, but Tito was quick to soothe you.

“If you want to get out of bed and do something, that’s great, but we’ll go for a walk or something, leave that up to me, please,” He kissed the top of your head. “I’m just hoping you’ll feel a little better once you don’t have to worry about taking care of your place,”

Tears welled up in your eyes from his words. Your forehead fell to his shoulder as you shut them tightly, trying to get control back over your body.

“Fuck,” You choked out, your chest shaking with a sob again.

All you did was cry today. Tito didn’t feel as panicked this time, slowly understanding how you were dealing with everything. You were just overwhelmed, and while hated to see you cry he knew that it was because he made you feel cared for.

“You’re going to have to start your own water bottle company soon with all those tears,” He tentatively cracked a joke.

He wasn’t sure if the sound that followed was just a louder sob or a real chuckle, but he took it as a good sign when you wrapped your arms around his torso and squeezed him against you. It was better than the apathy you had shown when he held you earlier, so he returned the embrace and kissed your temple.

“Everything is going to be okay, I promise,” He whispered soothingly when you pulled away, giving him a small nod while you rubbed the tears off your cheeks.

“I feel all gross,” You adjusted your sweater and sniffled. Your eyes were swollen from you trying to dry your tears when they wouldn’t stop falling, and you desperately needed to splash fresh water on your face.

“Do you want to take a shower or bath?” Tito asked you so that he could get the water running and make sure it was warm for when you got in.

“Shower,” You didn’t hesitate. You’d feel sluggish in a bath, it would make you more tired.

“Want me to come with and wash your hair?” He was almost sure you would, but he asked just to make sure. You weren’t the way you usually were, so you might have changed your mind.

“Yes please,” You nodded, taking his hand as you followed him to your bathroom.

Like he had said, everything was tidy. A new small towel was hanging by the sink, and all the other clean ones were neatly folded and organised underneath it. You picked up the faint smell of your cleaning products that he used to wipe every surface and make everything shiny. He really went all the way, and you could only guess he did the same thing in the kitchen.

You stripped while he started the water, his clothes on the floor next to yours. You still felt self conscious of your state, but in months of relationship Tito had done nothing but love every inch of your body, so you didn’t overthink it as you stepped into the shower after him.

“I don’t always understand how you feel, but I know it’s hard for you,” He gave your hand a squeeze as you made it under the stream of water. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m babying you, but it’s okay if you can’t bring yourself to do anything right now, I’ll take care of you,”

“I need that,” You nodded, resting your forehead on his chest as you let your hair get wet. It was hard to admit it to yourself, and even harder to say out loud. You thought you’d break down and cry again for a moment, but it seemed that all the tears had left your body already.

“I’ll help with absolutely anything you need me to,” Tito promised and adjusted the temperature to something a little bit hotter. “Let’s sit down, yeah?” He let you go first and then took his place behind you, shampoo and shower gel right by him. “Tilt your head back,” He asked as he poured the product into his hand.

You relaxed a little as he massaged your scalp, helping you disconnect from the rest of the world for a minute or two. The scent of soap slowly replaced the stuffy and slightly sweaty smell you had been living in for the past two days. You were still a mess of a person, but you could at least consider yourself half presentable after that.

How you felt on the inside almost always sucked, but you tried your hardest to keep up with appearances. It wasn’t even so that other people wouldn’t know, it was only for yourself, so that you could look in the mirror and think you were doing okay. It made it easier to convince yourself things were fine.

You didn’t spend too much time in the shower once Tito was done helping you wash your hair and body. He even got a smile out of you when his hands accidentally tickled your waist, and he beamed in response.

His smile lit your whole world up.

You held your towel tight around you when you got out, letting Tito get back to your room first. He came back in shorts he kept in your closet and one of the t-shirts you had stolen from him.

“Here,” Anthony handed you another one of his t-shirts (you had quite the collection) and some comfortable underwear he had picked out for you.

He was glad to find you brushing your hair and patting it with a towel as you stood in front of your mirror a few minutes later. At least you weren’t in bed anymore, and his heart soared when you gave him a small smile as you caught him staring at your reflection.

Instead of standing there like a moron, he decided to make himself useful and started pulling the sheets off your bed, piling them on the floor. You handed him some fresh ones from your closet as a replacement, your hair in a wet messy bun at the back of your head while you helped him adjust the fitted sheet over the mattress. You sat and began shoving your pillow into a pillowcase, and Tito didn’t argue with you helping him this time. He took the dirty laundry to your washing machine to make sure that by the time he left for practice tomorrow morning the apartment was spotless and you didn’t have to do a thing besides take care of yourself.

You made your bed and resisted the urge to get right back in it now that it smelled so lovely. You had to fight with yourself to get out of your room, so you opted for crashing on the couch in the living room instead. All of your blankets were neatly piled and you could see the plant on your coffee table had been watered. The dirty plates had been taken away to the kitchen, and everything was in place.

“I’m going to order some food,” Tito came to sit next to you a few minutes later. He handed you his phone as he added, “Pick anything you want.”

“I’m not that hungry,” You scrolled aimlessly, looking up at him because you didn’t want to have to get anything.

“Pick.” He gave you a stern look that left no room for discussion. “I’m not going to make you eat it all, but I’m not letting you go to sleep on a empty stomach tonight,” He had a feeling you had done it the previous night already, and it wasn’t going to happen again on his watch.

You eventually settled for a burger and decided you could just pick at the chips. Tito seemed satisfied with what you added to the cart and picked his own food before also ordering ice cream. It was one of your favorite flavours, so even if you didn’t want it tonight he was sure you’d be happy to have it in your freezer one of these days.

“Cuddles and a movie?” The corners of your lips lifted slightly as you suggested the plans he had been wanting to make with you for tonight.

“Sure,” He chuckled, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on. “Anything you want to watch?”

“Just want to cuddle,”

“Okay,” He opened Netflix and clicked on Brooklyn nine-nine to pick it up wherever you had left it last time. It was unarguably one of the best shows out there according to both of you, so it would be good to watch it again and he also wouldn’t mind if he missed bits and pieces of it.

Tito leaned back on the couch and spread his legs, patting his body to invite you to lay on him.

“Thank you for being patient,” You whispered as you settled yourself on his chest. “I love you,”

“I love you more than you’ll ever know.” Tito rested a hand on your back and slowly traced lines up and down your spine. Tonight was all about taking care of you and he knew you loved it when he did that, so he’d do it until his arm cramped up if he had to. He even let your hair soak his shirt without a complaint despite how much he always hated the feeling. “Whatever’s going on with you, I’ll be there to help you through it, always.”

.

Please reblog and share some thoughts <3

Also wanted to add a little note here:

I know this made it look like the reader is quite dependent on Tito, and that’s always pretty toxic in a relationship. I didn’t mean to make it look like that, but I also don’t feel like rewriting the fic differently. I feel like that on some days, and while I can pull myself out of it alone (mostly because I have to) I know there’s some things that could help me. Cleaning my room feels impossible right now and if someone did that right now it would ease my mind a lot, so that’s why I pictured things that way in the fic.

[littlemoondarlingarts]

Unfortunately it happened

A short story about two of my ocs that I've been writing for a while, please read the trigger warnings carefully before proceeding to the story.

Genre: magical realism with hints of psychological horror.

Word count: 4293 words.

Tw: Abuse, domestic abuse, past abuse, ptsd, hallucinations, claustrophobic scenes, blood, glass shards, mild sexual scene, possible sexual assault, disrespecting the boundaries of an autistic child, abandonment issues.

If there are any more possible trigger warnings that I didn't write, please let me know.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The thick warm blood irregularly dripped onto the rotting floor as Theodore tried to wrestle out the large glass shard that was lodged deep in his skull. He knew that pulling it out would only cause him to bleed more, but he had no other choice, his body just wouldn't heal around it. It's not like he could even go to a hospital. They ask questions there. Too many questions. He hissed in pain, fingers slipping over the smooth, wet surface, making the job ten times harder than what it already was.

Fear and pain overwhelmed his senses to the point where he couldn't even hear the squeaks of the wooden planks that normally annoyed him to no end. He only noticed that someone was in the small room with him when a pair of tiny pale feet stopped right infront of him.

"Stay back baby, there's glass on the floor." He let his hand fall down, the stubborn shard finally dislodged from his forehead, "Go back to your room, I'm okay." The obvious lie slipped through his blooded lips like smooth butter, if there was something Theodore excelled exceptionally at, it was lying with confidence so great that you would believe him over your very own eyes.

"Why don't you stop him?" Fran asked meekly, shoulders tense and lips pouty, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his favourite shirt violently enough to tear the delicate embroidery his dad had spend countless hours on.

Theodore lifted his head, his tired eyes taking in the heart wrenching sight of the boy he grew to call his son. Fran's whole body was trembling, his small fingers red and bruised from unconsciously fighting with the thread, his nose was swollen, the skin around his eyes was puffy. It was clear as day that the little boy had been crying for a while now.... probably since the fight started.

"Franny," Theo started softly, "I'm alright now. It's over, okay? Just go to your room, I'll follow you in a bit. Promise."

But the little vampire didn't budge, his cold feet planted firmly on the floor, lips forming a thin line accompanied by a deep frown barely hidden by loose white curls. Theodore sighed, he wanted so badly to hold his son's hands and carry him back to his room like he did every night before, but he was scared if he'd moved even an inch more he'd tear his shirt even further, revealing more bruises and cuts, subsequently traumatizing the boy more. So he stayed put.

"Why don't you stop him?" Fran repeated.

"Baby you know I-"

"WHY DON'T YOU STOP HIM?!"

The abrupt outburst took Theodore by surprise, making him flinch back on the bed. His wide blue eyes were chaotic as they searched the smaller one's face for any ounce of sympathy. It was silly, really, to be looking for such emotions in a clearly overwhelmed and traumatized kid, but Theo couldn't help himself, couldn't help the fear that was eating away at him, one angry word at a time.

"I know you can, Teddy. You used to stand up to daddy! And he was a VAMPIRE!" Fran said with a bit of pride in his voice, "You know what? I think we should go back to living with him! Maybe Elliot is waiting for us there! And the-"

"Elliot left. He isn't waiting for us anywhere, he doesn't want us anymore." Theodore shrunk back to himself when he noticed the amount of venom in his voice, "Besides Franny, you know I'll never let him hurt you. I'll never let anyone hurt you." He tried giving the most reassuring smile he could muster with the dull ache in his bruised cheeks.

Fran was silent for a long, dreadful second before hot tears raced down his face, "You can't even protect yourself..."

That sentence was like a punch to the gut. He never thought about the consequences that their constant fighting had on his son. He thought, no, he made himself believe that as long as Fran was in no immediate physical danger, everything was okay. It almost frightened him just how much he was willing to ignore and sweep under the rug just to let himself feel like a good father.

"I don't feel safe here... I'm scared." Fran sniffled, "I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and-and find you dead!" It was getting harder for the little vampire to speak as the tears kept flowing, "Or.. or  that you would... would just leave me here like Elliot did... or.. or yo-" violent sobs wrecked his body, forbidding him from finishing his sentence.

Theodore was lost. He promised Rouge and Elliot.. fuck those two, he promised himself that he would give Fran the best life possible, and yet here he is... shaking and wailing helplessly... He needed to do something, and he needed to do it fast. But what? What could he do?

What would dad have done? Dad wouldn't let himself be in this fucking situation. But if he was ... what would he have done?? Theodore's hands were now shaking uncontrollably as he tried to think of an answer. He would've pulled me close. Held me tight in his arms and told me that he'll keep me safe no matter what. That everything will be okay. Yes. Yes... that's what he would've done.

And so he reached forward, taking the now bloodied tiny hands in his and pulling Fran into his arms, holding the sobbing boy as tight as he could.

But the truth is. What his father would've done is vastly different that what Theodore should've done. Because in that moment of pure loss and desperation, he forgot one crucial detail... Fran can't handle being touched. Especially not being hugged.

Fran yanked himself backwards with powers unnatural to him, his body was sent flying until he hit the floor with a loud thud that almost made Theodore's heart stop, but to the boy, anything was better then being held like that.

"Franny... I'm so sorry... I forgo-" Before he could finish his sentence, the vampire was on his feet and running out the room. His loud footsteps quickly fading into nothingness before the deafening slam of a door shook the old house to it's core.

Theodore let himself fall back on the bed, sending small dust particles flying all over him and irritating his allergies. He quickly placed a hand over his nose to stop himself from inhaling any of that dust, he can't afford having his brains ooze out his wounds if he sneezed.

His eyes closed before he could decide otherwise. It's okay... it will be okay.. he'd probably gone to bed now, I should do that too. Tomorrow will be different, it will be better, I'll make some scrambled eggs and bacon.. wait no, Fran is a vegetarian you idiot, he doesn't eat that shit!... fuck. I can make uh... grilled cheese sandwiches.. yeah he'll surely like that....

But deep down Theodore knew that he isn't a kid that can go to bed when he is tired or in pain anymore, he is an adult now, with a kid of his own and all the responsibilities that come with it..

The obnoxious sound of the sports channel blaring from the living room and the rhythmic pouring of rain on the window along with phantom barking of a distant dog were like a hammer smashing into Theodore's head over and over again. Every little sound was cranked up to a hundred, even his own heartbeating was agonizing.

He forced his body to sit back up, becoming face to face with the long mirror nailed to the wall which seemed to be closing in on him. Theodore instinctively pushed himself backwards until his back hit the cold wall as the room began fold in on itself until the mirror was nearly touching his feet. He wrapped his arms around his body in an attempt to ground himself as his claustrophobia kicked in and his breathing quickened to a painful degree.

He forced his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the walls that were now touching every inch of him. And his thoughts drifted back to the only place they could... Is it possible Franny is scared like this now? He feels unsafe.. he said that himself.. I can't just leave him alone in his room until the next sunset... that's not what dad would've done.. that's..that's what mom did... leave me alone and ignore me when I needed her most then pretend nothing happened the next day... that's what I was going to do...

The thought made his eyes shoot open only to be faced with her image in the mirror, blue eyes staring down at him with familiar disappointment. His blood boiled. He is becoming her! Repeating the cycle of neglectful abuse and torment until noone survives. In a moment of blind rage he balled his fist and swiftly moved to shatter the mirror and all the pain it was causing, but he found himself slammed to the floor, bloody knuckles causing a dent in it... it seems as tho the wall was still as far away as it always had been.

He stayed there for a moment, tears pouring down unapologetically as he tried to compose himself. He soon found enough willpower to stand up, but before he could take a step forward, sharp pain shot up straight to his head, forcing him to grab onto the nearest wall for balance.

Once the pain dulled down enough for him to be able to open his eyes, he looked down at the apparent source, only to see that his right ankle had doubled in size, blue and swollen as if there was a tennis ball underneath the skin. He rested the back of his head on the window, feeling the cold droplets of rain leaking through and falling on his cheeks.

He sighed, he would heal, he always did. But it would take time, and unlike Silas, this fucker never cared for him after beating him up. Theodore chuckled to himself, never in a million years did he think he would use Silas as a positive example for anything, goes to show just how low his life had sunk.

Nevertheless, he needs to persist, not for himself but for the little vampire that depended on him.

He thought about taking a quick shower to wash off all the blood, but something told him not to, to just check on Fran as soon as possible, and Theodore's gut feeling had never failed him before, so he always followed it, even if he knew that his son was safe in his bed, wrapped in a fluffy blanket that Theo had spent all his money on. He smiled, remembering how Franny's eyes twinkled when he first saw the bee pattern on it. Oh how he wishes he would see him this happy every second of every day.

Still smiling, he managed to take off the ripped shirt without aggravating his injuries too much. He held the black tee in his hands, staring at the bright neon pink "Angel♡" written on it in a metal font with the white signature of the singer along the neck.

He got this shirt 2 years back when he went to the live performance, Angel wasn't even the main performer back then, they were merely the opening act. Given how small they were, they didn't have a signing booth, it was actually pure luck that Theodore managed to meet them outside while they were waiting for a taxi.

And he thought that Rouge was tall! Angel was at least eight feet, to the point where he felt like a little cat after cranking his neck up so high just to be able to see their face, and what a truly terrifying face it was! Almost nightmarish with their black bug eyes and their long pointy teeth! But they were nice, maybe a bit blunt and lacking a social filter, but after being with Fran for a while, Theodore got used to unwanted comments... wait.. Fran... now THAT is what he was here to do!

He immediately put his favourite shirt down on a nearby wooden chair, promising to fix the rip the moment he can carry something as delicate as a needle without his hands shaking and dropping it, he threw on an oversized sweater that used to belong to Elliot, a pair of ghost patterned pyjama pants and made his way to the corridor.

Theodore was still grabbing onto the walls as he limbed his way to the door covered in stickers, it was slightly ajar which was strange considering that Fran had slammed it, but with how rusted the hinges are, anything is possible. He slowly pushed the door open, peering into the dark room, noticing how the moonlight softly illuminated the blanket-covered lump on the bed.

He should be happy? Maybe relieved? But instead, all he could feel is the bile rising to his throat, and he just couldn't tell why, perhaps he was just anxious about the impending talk. Yes. It must be that.

Theodore slowly stepped toward the small bed, feeling the mattress sink under his weight as he sat on it. "Hey Franny..." no answer, "It's me Teddy," again, nothing. He sighed, rubbing his hand over his aching neck, "listen I came here to apologise, and I... are you asleep??" He pulled down the blanket only to see that it was only a group of plushies in the vague shape of a kid.

Adrenaline shot through his body making him forget all about his pain and injuries as he quickly opened the closet, looked under the bed, tore the covers from the bed. Yet.... Fran is nowhere to be seen.

"FRAN!" Theodore yelled at the top of his lungs, "FRAAAANN!" He stood aimlessly in the little room filled with the missing boy's trinkets and drawings, his breath so fast he could hear it as he impatiently waited for an answer, "Baby where are you?!"

He could feel the little plushies staring at him, knowing where his baby is but not telling him, they don't want Fran to go back to being with such a horrible father. Theodore grabbed his son's favourite one, a large fluffy bee he had won for him during a passing carnival. He forcefully held it, his fingers smearing the blood all over the bright yellow as he shook it back and forth in the air.

"Where is he goddamn it! Where is he?" He screamed over and over again at the defenseless bee.

To anyone passing by, this seems like complete and utter madness, a father interrogating a stuffed animal instead of searching the whole house for his missing son? But to Theodore in the moment, it made sense. These plushies were the closest to the little vampire, they know his secrets and feelings more than Theo ever apparently did. So it must be obvious that they would be the ones knowing where his precious baby would be.

"I know you know! So just tell me!" His voice broke as a pained sob took over him, making him hold onto the door handle as his knees seemed to buckle under him. "I'll make it better... I swear.."

"He went out you crazy bitch!" The familiar gruff voice came from the living room, it was naturally loud enough to drown out everything else, even the news channel. Or perhaps that was just Theodore's mind only focusing on what matters to him, whichever case it was, he heard it loud and clear.

"What?" He whispered, soft and almost silent; like a deer caught in headlights, he couldn't move a single muscle in his body. He was painfully aware of this, too; the fact that he is just. Sitting. There. Like a useless piece of shit. His brain screamed at him to 'MOVE IT YOU FUCKER! MOVE!' But his body was almost paralyzed, unable to do anything, not even blink.

It may have taken mere seconds to get up and be in the living room, but it felt like years. Years of him being useless and worthless.

He ran down the short corridor.

He ran.

And ran.

And ran.

And with every step, the corridor seemed to stretch further and further, the end feeling more like a mirage as countless doors strung on the walls. Screams were erupting from behind them, defeaning and terrifying. A minute of thinking would've made him recognize the voice as Fran's, and this was one of the many instances where he regretted ever doing that. Theodore shut his eyes, covering his ears with his hands and just ran forward like a fish in the deep dark ocean where the sun can't reach.

"What do you mean?" His voice was erratic when he finally made it to the living room, gripping the worn down sofa that his "boyfriend" was sitting calmly on, as if a kid isn't out in the dark and rain all on his own.

"He's just breathing some air after all that shit you caused!" The man turned to look at him, "You think I didn't hear all that? Well news flash baby, I have ears."

His absolute nonchalance about the whole thing was irritating Theodore to no end, and Theodore wore his emotions on his sleeves. His eyes darkened dangerously as he almost felt himself growl, but he had to control himself as that would definitely get him another beer bottle to the head.

The man chuckled softly, putting his large hand on top of Theodore's much tinier one, "You're too worried about him, Francis is-"

"Fran." He corrected in a low, deep voice.

"Whatever, same thing. Point is, he is a little man now! If he wants to go out and calm his nerves after you wrecked them, then let him!" He smiled, trying to pull the shorter man towards him, but he didn't budge. "Listen baby, you need to give him some time to work out his emotions, stop getting in his business you little helicopter!"

The man pulled again, this time successfully getting the half dissociated Theodore around the sofa and onto his lap. When he said it like that.... it almost made sense. Fran isn't eight and he really was hurt by all that Theo had done tonight and most nights before that, he does need some time to process all that. Or maybe that was just his way of feeling less guilty, believing that this is just a natural reaction rather than face the fact that his son's terrible immune system won't handle the cold and rain.

"That's right baby," the man held Theodore close, and like a moth to flame he leaned into it, craving any sort of affection and sympathy, "calm down now," his rough hands gently petted Theo's curls which were now matted with a mixture of blood, bear and sweat, "it's all okay," He moved his hand down, moving over Theodore's back in slow and rhythmic circles. "Daddy's here," testing his luck, the man moved his hand further down and gripped Theodore's buttocks firmly.

This sent reality crushing down on the poor man, this isn't okay. Nothing about a frail and sickly eleven year old kid being alone outside in the raining night in a place surrounded with dangerous wildlife is okay. No matter how hard he wants to shake the guilt off. How hard he wants to lean into this rare moment of gentleness. He can't. Not when his son is all alone. Not in a million years.

Theodore placed his hands on his boyfriend's large chest and pushed himself off his lap, getting to his feet as quickly as he can without losing his balance and running to the door as if he is a prisoner that just found the keys.

"Well fuck you too slut! I never wanted your trashy ass anyway! Go get eaten by wolves! You and your annoying ass kid!"

But Theodore had already made it outside and started the long process of running around aimlessly and yelling Fran's name at the top of his lungs. After thoroughly running through the front yard, he took a deep freezing breath and made his way into the surrounding woods where the fading moonlight didn't reach.

He quickly lit up the lighter, the rain putting out the flame before he could do anything, so he bent down, wrapping his body around it like a deer would to her fawn, and tried lighting it up again. The small flame persisted long enough for it to turn blue and be transferred onto Theodore's palm.

He extended the demonic flame infront of his face, making his eyes twinkle with otherworldly lights, he was hoping that animals would find it's strange color intimidating rather than inviting, and that Fran would recognize it as his and find him. Clearly too much faith in a silly little flame, even if it is magical in nature.

Theodore's feet got sliced and bruised by the rocks and thorns on the ground, but nevertheless he persisted, his dark fingers gripping the ancient trunks for dear life, not caring about the skin being scratched and peeled off if them.

He opened his mouth to yell for his boy, "Fraaan.." he coughed, hoping that his voice would come back, "Fra.... fuck me." His voice was gone, almost completely after the endless screaming and yelling he did this night, both while searching for Fran and the big fuckin fight that had happened before.

With no voice to speak of, Theodore felt... weak. He couldn't yell for Fran and the hope that the boy would see the flame on his own and follow it is... statistically very low. He was defeated. He failed himself, his father, Fran... everyone that can be failed.

He made his way out of the forest, he had already searched the surrounding area on foot. He had the small tiny twinkle of hope that Fran had made his way back home alone, that he really was just breathing some air. That he is now safe and cuddled underneath the blanket. Safe. And sound.

Theodore stood infront of the closed door. Body shaking from the cold rain and pain, he stood there for a while, just letting the tears silently fall down, not daring to go inside and face the truth.

"Teddy?" A small familiar voice echoed in his head, making him smile a little. He had been first given that nickname by his mom, but now that Franny used to call him that, it no longer feels... humiliating. It feels warm and comfortable, it feels like a purpose and having someone that depends on you and trusts you.

"Teddy!" The small voice came again, this time angrier, like a tiny kitten's hiss.

Is it possible that this.. isn't in Theodore's head? That Fran was actually yelling for him?

He tore his eyes away from the door and looked around, and sure enough, he easily spotted the head of white fluffy hair struggling to get out of under his boyfriend's car.

Theodore rushed to help his son get out without being scratched or injured, he held the boy's tiny hands and pulled slowly, stopping to fluff down his shirt to make the sliding easier. Once his bottom was out, his short legs were an easy task.

"Thank gawd! I thought I was gonna be stuck under there forever! Or that that bastard was gonna drive tomorrow and I'll become tomato paste!" The little boy was flailing his arms around as he spoke, finally settling for a dramatic break as while saying "tomato paste!"

He tried keeping himself composed, he really did, slowly stroked his son's curls, but quickly enough Theodore crumbled. Exhaustion, pain and all that worry that he was barely holding, finally broke him. He hid his face behind his hands as he cried uncontrollably. His drenched shoulders shaking with each painful sob.

"Teddy?" Fran asked worriedly, his soft voice kept quiet as if Theodore was a rabbit that he didn't want to scare off. "Why are you crying?"

It might seem like a stupid question given the circumstances, and if it was anyone else, Theodore would've given them the deathglare. But he knew that Franny genuinely couldn't understand the consequences of actions, wether they were his own or others. So he simply sniffled and smiled as bright as he could, resuming to fluff up his baby's hair.

Fran's face scrunched up as if he had tasted a lemon, his soft features all grouping in the middle of his face. But he didn't mind this, not really, he just found it fun to do this face because he doesn't get to often. And Theodore knows this, they spoke about this before... before this..  him.

"I wanna sleeeeeeeeeeep." Fran whined while pouting, earning him an honest chuckle from his dad.

Theodore opened his arms as his son jumped up, landing perfectly on his waiting shoulder. Fran swung his feet, accidentally hitting his father's chest a few times, not too many times tho as he was doing his absolute best to avoid it. But that swinging was making it harder for Theo to safely stand up, but he made do and made his way back indoors carrying his son like a sack of potatoes, which is the only way Franny likes to be held.

Deep in his mind, Theodore knew that this won't be the end of this abusive relationship, he was too dependent, too afraid of being abandoned and left alone to leave. But the cracks were only becoming more and more prominent, and hell was knocking on their door.

[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track six

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist | visual by @brockhsmpton​

“Okay so let me get this straight. You have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend is famous. You’re flying to LA with said boyfriend. And you’re staying at his house? Cause he’s 20 and has a fucking house.” 

“Uh yeah, that pretty much covers it.” 

“Jesus, I move across the country and then you decide to start getting interesting.”

Indy flipped her grilled cheese over in the skillet, and then flipped off the camera, getting an eye roll from Charlie that she felt through the facetime call.

“You gonna be okay on the plane?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” she grumbled, trying to push the nagging thoughts from her mind. 

“Indiana. You’ve gotta tell him before you get on that plane. If you can even get on the plane that is.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it. Just drop it, okay?”

Her list of distractions was dwindling as she finished all the work that had been piled on her before fall break, which was really only a long four day weekend. All she had left was an exam that afternoon, and then it would be time to go. 

Grayson had insisted that they take Beks advice, take a trip out of the city to somewhere other than Jersey. It had been an interesting conversation to say the least.

“That sounds fun but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

She hesitated. Her usual excuse for getting out of things that made her anxious was simple. School. Too much homework, upcoming exam, blah blah blah. Usually that just earned her an eye roll, maybe an off hand ‘nerd’ comment too, but then the subject would be dropped. 

Grayson wouldn’t be swayed that easily; and, she didn’t even have her default option. She scrambled for ideas with her thoughts running wild until he reached across the couch and laid his hand on top of hers.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

“I was thinking about airports.” It wasn’t a lie, but that was only partially the culprit of the knot in her stomach. 

“It’s a straight flight to LA, super easy. I’ve done it way too many times, I know my way around.”

She chewed her lip and he squeezed her hand. 

“C’mon, you’ll love it. LA is shitty sometimes but it’s amazing too. And you can meet Eden finally, she’s always asking about you. And Adele too. And I can show you the house, the pod studio. We can go surfing if you want. I’ll take you to Monty’s.” 

“Gray. I can’t afford it.” 

“Like I was gonna make you pay for it,” he laughed, but she stayed still beside him, unable to find the same amusement. 

“I don’t want you to spend money on me like that.”

“Money doesn’t mean much to me. Doesn’t mean anything to me really,” he shrugged - she couldn’t imagine what that must feel like. It felt a bit hypocritical, for her to be acting like she struggled with money while she sat in her nice Chelsea apartment. But that money hadn’t come from her own pockets - it came with the price tag of guilt and the threat of it being taken away if her dad felt like it, which kept her and her ever shrinking savings account on edge. Money didn’t seem to be a real concept in the Dolan family however, and she tried to remind herself of that while Gray toyed with her fingers. 

He switched to other tactics of persuasion when the silence stretched a bit too long, moving closer and nuzzling into her neck, pressing little kisses to her skin in between murmurs of “please Dee” and “c’mon baby”.

She conceded, gently tugging on his hair to get him to come back to her.

“Fine. But I’m paying you back one day. When I can.”

Grayson knew that wouldn’t be for years, and he liked the idea of her and him that far in the future, so he just nodded and kissed her again. 

Charlie stayed on the line while Indy ate and then moved on to finish her packing, throwing in too many outfits for just four days and four nights, but she wasn’t sure what California called for. It took her a good five minutes of digging to find her bathing suits that she hadn’t drug out since the summer, but she eventually added them to the bag as the final touch and got everything ready. Charlie convinced her to take a few pieces of skimpier clothing in case the ‘vibes were right’, which had Indy blushing bright red and eventually making an excuse to get off the phone before she had to get into her sex life any further with her sister. 

Her breathing settled for a moment when her phone buzzed, a message from ‘gray 💚  ’.

Plane snacks?

Also does coffee make you shit your pants

Cause I’ll get you some for the ride to the airport if it won’t hurt your tummy on the plane

:)

Leave it to him to put a smile on her face even as her stomach continued to turn. She tried to convince herself it was her exam that had her so worked up, but she knew better. 

if 4 years as a barista gave me anything it was immunity in that department

so yes to the coffee pls :)

and just get me whatever you’re getting for snacks please

Gotcha, I’ll swing by and get your bag

Good luck on your exam! Not that you need it

I’ll be waiting outside in the ugly ass truck 💜  I love you

see you soon, I love you too

With that she packed up the last few things, leaving her bag in plain sight before she left for class. She was able to clear her mind enough on her walk, getting herself into ‘school mode’ before she got to the building. The exam went easily, as she expected that it would - it was nice to have subjects like medical terminology that were so cut and dry sometimes. Either you know it, or you don’t, as Nicole used to say. No point in guessing. 

Indy didn’t like having to guess. 

Which was why she had the airport map pulled up on her phone while she stood on the sidewalk, leaned up against the building as she tried to plan out the best way to get to the terminal that they needed. She’d already done this - three times, actually - but it made her feel better anyways. 

She heard the rumble of the engine first, but it only held her ears for a moment. Because then, it was a giggle, and a squeal, and a whispered voice saying “no, that’s them, that has to be them! Who the fuck else would have a truck like that?”

Indiana’s stomach tightened even more somehow at the realization of what was happening. Charlie’s voice rang in her ears - your boyfriend is famous.

They’d never talked about what to do in a situation like this, but she’d seen enough stories about celebrities who hid their relationships to know that ‘undisclosed’ was the default setting. Suddenly very thankful that she’d decided to go with a hoodie that morning, she pulled the fabric up over her hair and dropped her head, keeping her eyes trained upward to watch what Grayson was doing. 

She watched the girls go up to the cab and ask for a photo, which Grayson seemed to happily oblige to, though he didn’t get out of the car. He noticed her a moment later and his smile faltered at the realization that she’d been waiting on him. The girls asked him to give their love to Ethan and then went on their way. Indy held back for a few moments, waiting until they were out of sight before she hurried forward and got into the passenger seat. 

“You must have finished that exam quick, I figured I’d be waiting on you,” Gray teased, but his voice was a bit tight. 

“It was pretty easy, you either know it or you don’t.”

“Right. Well, I wouldn’t have known any of it,” he laughed, eyes still scanning the street - whether for cars or people, she couldn’t tell. “You ready to go?”

No. “Sure.”

The pair had felt the peace of comfortable silence enough in their relationship so far to know when it was absent, and there wasn’t a trace of it to be found. Indy was too caught up in her own mind to react to Grayson’s attempts to engage her, from the hand on her bouncing thigh to the looks he snuck, eyes darting from the busy road for a moment. She kept her coffee in both her hands - drinking it was counterproductive in terms of her nerves most likely, but the warmth of it was comforting enough for her to justify it. Grayson’s mouth got drier with every exit they passed, and he kept his cool until they got to the pay to park lot at the airport and he shifted the truck into park.

“We don’t have to go you know.”

The dejection in his voice was finally enough to pull Indiana out of her own little world. Her eyes came back into focus as she turned to him.

“Gray-”

“If it’s about the money, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just really wanted to show you LA, cause it’s a big part of me, and I didn’t want you to be stressed about the price of tickets.” 

“It’s not the money.”

“Then what is it? Because you’re pissed about something, obviously, and I’d like to be let in on the secret if you don’t mind.” 

She shrunk under his harsh tone, unsure of whether she should even say anything. She hated when she got like this, and hated even more that she didn’t even have a hope of control over it, despite it being herself, her own mind causing the issues.

“Planes.”

“What?”

“It’s not you, it’s planes. Airports. Flying in general. I just… I don’t like it.”

“Oh. Well, I mean, I’ve been on plenty of planes, and nothing bad has ever happened while I was on there.” There was an airiness to his tone, as if it was as simple as his own testimony fixing the entire situation.

“That… doesn’t help.” She didn’t even like the thought of him being on a plane, much less the both of them. She practically flinched at the sound of one flying over them.

Grayson’s wheels were turning, slower than he wanted them to as he scrambled for an idea, anything that could make her feel better at the realization that his words had only made it worse.

“Can I have a redo on that?” 

She looked up at him - at his sheepish smile and the blush on his cheeks, and the next breath she took in was a tad easier.

“Sure.”

“I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious, what can I do to help?”

His tone was so flat that they just looked at each other and then busted out laughing. Indiana couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her laugh when she felt so terribly. It was almost foreign to her - she felt like she shouldn’t be doing it somehow.

“Sorry, that was - fuck that was formal,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. “What I meant was, whatever you need, I’ll do. You just have to tell me.” 

“Uh… not going.”

His hand moved to the gear shift, ready to put it in reverse and leave. She placed hers on top of his, holding on when he moved away.

“Kidding.”

“No you aren’t.”

“Okay, maybe I’m a little serious. But I want to. I want to go, it’s just hard. Having someone with me that I trust helps though.”

His chest swelled a bit at the realization that he was considered one of those people - it was one of the best honors he could imagine being given by somebody that he cared about, probably because it wasn’t something that he gave out easily. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the soft skin.

“I’ll be with you then. You can hold onto me the whole time.”

“You sure about that?”

He frowned immediately at that, reaching his hand over to her thigh, running a thumb over the material of her leggings. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean you’re probably gonna have more fans coming up to you and stuff. I figured you didn’t want them like… knowing about me.”

“I never said that,” he countered, squeezing a bit. “I mean if you don’t want to, that’s okay, but I’m okay with it if you are.”

There was a sincerity to his gaze that conveyed what he hadn’t said - an almost plea for her to be okay with it. And so she was, at least enough for her to give him a nod and a quick kiss before stepping out of the truck. 

He got to her bags before she could, and he was grateful that he’d only brought a duffle. He managed both bags with one hand and grabbed onto hers with the other as they started through the parking lot.

And he didn’t let go a single time, apart from the security scans and her going to pee after they made it through, in which he waited outside the bathroom for her with his arms crossed. Ethan met up with them at the terminal, buzzing with excitement at the prospect of getting to see Eden for the first time in a month. He was staying an extra week to get some quality time with her, and he was a constant stream of excitement. Grayson kept his attention on Indy though, trying to read her for any signs that things were getting worse. He kept a hand on her bouncing leg, running a thumb back and forth constantly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her temple every so often.

“I’m gonna go check something really quick, I’ll be right back. Ethan, stay with her okay?” 

Ethan didn’t question it. He slid over to replace his brother for a moment as he headed up to the desk at the gate. Despite his bubbly charm, Ethan had a calmer nature to him than Grayson did, no matter how hard he tried to exude the same level headedness. It came effortlessly to his twin it seemed.

“Gingerale helps calm me down on planes. Don’t know why but it does,” he mumbled, scooting a bit closer so his arm was pressed up along hers on the small bars between their seats.

He didn’t seem to need a response, and Indy was grateful. She leaned against him a bit more as a silent thank you that he seemed to accept, and they stayed that way until Grayson returned, switching out places again, wrapping his arm around her shoulder immediately.

“I upgraded us to first class.”

“What? Why!?” She spoke for the first time since the car, surprised that her voice still sounded stable. 

“You’ll see. C’mon, we’re about to board. You still sure you want to do this?”

She couldn’t give him an answer, but she stood up anyways and held onto his arm as they scanned their tickets and moved down the jet bridge. He pressed kisses to her blonde hair, ducking down a few times to check on her as they made their way down and got settled into their seats, Ethan settling into the row beside her. 

Indy kept her lip tucked underneath her top teeth, looking around at anything to distract her from where she was as her mind raced, so fast she couldn’t even pinpoint what was making her the most anxious. 

“Focus on me. I’m right here,” Grayson hummed, reaching over to turn her face towards his for a moment. “You’re okay. We’re okay.” 

“Yeah.” There wasn’t an ounce of conviction in her voice. She felt like she was going to cry, and she tucked her hood up over her ears, trying to drown out anything that sounded remotely like an airplane. Her lungs weren’t working how she wanted them to, and she sucked in breath after breath, none of them deep enough to relieve the tightness in her chest. 

“Here. Try this.” 

Long fingers tucked into her hood, moving her hair back from her ear so he could slip one of his headphones in. It fit snugly, and he scrambled to his phone, pulling up his Cudi playlist and scrolling through until he found what he wanted. The familiar intro of Teleport 2 Me, Jamie started to play as the final passengers boarded onto the rather large plane. How had everyone gotten on so fast? It seemed her mind was running away from her, making time move faster, bringing on the inevitable.

“This song makes me think about you, you know. I know Jamie is your middle name but still.” 

She barely registered his words as a few tears snuck out of the corner of her eyes. Even her lips were shaking as she tried to breathe, curling in on herself with her knees pulled to her chest. The flight attendant was nice enough to not ask to see her seatbelt, sensing that she was better left undisturbed.

The guilt started to eat Grayson alive as he watched her struggle, running a hand over her back and leaning over to hold onto her, looking to his brother for support. Ethan’s eyes were wide with concern but he was just as helpless, not even being able to reach a comforting hand across the aisle because of the flight attendants passing by. It only got worse as they began to move - Grayson couldn’t tell if she was shaking harder or if it was just the movement of the plane. 

The only good sign he got was her reaching her hand out in search of his. When he laced his fingers with hers she squeezed so hard he knew his bones were moving in a way they weren’t meant to, but he didn’t dare pull away. Not when he was the cause of her being in so much distress. It put a pit in his stomach, a mixture of the urge to apologize over and over and the wish that he could somehow climb inside her mind and soothe her, make her believe that she would be alright.

So, he did the next best thing he could think of. As soon as they had taken off, which felt like it took hours, he reached to her waist and unclipped her seatbelt. 

“Come here.” 

It took a moment for her to process, but once she understood Indy didn’t hesitate to climb over into his lap, curling up so small that she fit comfortably there in the wide first class seat, head tucked into the nook of his neck as he wrapped her up in his arms. 

“You’re okay, I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry, fuck I’m sorry,” she squeaked. If anyone else in first class heard it, they elected to ignore it. “It’s not usually this bad.”

“Shhhh, don’t. Just close your eyes. We’ll be there before you know it, okay?”

She reached a hand up to his neck, tucking it in against his skin under his sweatshirt as an anchor before she closed her eyes. She wrestled with her mind, trying to override with a focus on what she was physically feeling - his warm skin under her fingertips, the roughness of his beard against her forehead, the change of the song in her headphone. Her other ear was pressed against his chest and she tried to listen for his heartbeat, getting sidetracked when his hand moved her hoodie up barely so he could get underneath to her skin. One finger began to trace.

I-M-S-O-R-R-Y

She shook her head, tilting up to press her nose against him. It was her that should be apologizing, she thought. She hadn’t warned him properly of what to expect. That being said, it was true that she hadn’t had such a bad experience in a while - it only clicked then that it probably had to do with the fact that Grayson was on the plane too. If it crashed and she died, so would he, and the thought of it made her want to hurl. Instead, she clung to him tighter, forming letters by his collarbone with her fingertip.

N-O-T-Y-O-U-R-F-A-U-L-T

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, leaving his lips there for a moment before he shifted and rested his cheek on top of her head.

S-T-I-L-L-S-O-R-R-Y

She nuzzled closer to him.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U

Against her hip, she felt four gentle squeezes, a silent I love you too as they continued through the sky. 

--------------------------

“Jesus. It’s hot. Like, hot hot.” 

“Ethan. It’s Cali. Of course it’s fucking hot.”

“Yeah, but it’s not natural for it to be this hot in fucking October. Anywhere.”

Indy listened to their bickering quietly, catching her breath a little more with each mile she put between her and the airport. It was just her leg bouncing now as she sipped on her gingerale - it had appeared on her tray table at some point in the flight and she hadn’t been able to stomach it until she made it out of the airport and into Ethan’s tesla, which was driven by Adele, a sweet woman with a kind smile and soft voice. 

Grayson sat in the backseat with her, still on alert for any sign that she was anxious, hand resting on her thigh. But he breathed easier as he watched her body finally begin to accept that she was on the ground, and by the time they pulled up to the gate she was almost back to her normal self. 

She enjoyed the feeling of her feet on the hard concrete of the driveway when she got out of the car, feeling a bit like a celebrity when the door swung open over her head. Grayson grabbed the bags and was immediately at her side, taking her hand and leading her up to the door. It wasn’t the first time that Indy had seen the inside of the house - she’d gotten glimpses of it on a few vlogs that they’d watched with Bekah one night. But there was a warmth to the space that didn’t quite read on camera, a familiarity that she realized was traces of Grayson everywhere, from the Cudi vinyls on the shelf to the wood based furniture that he’d definitely had a hand in making. 

“I’m going to get Eden, I’ll be back in… I don’t know how long,” Ethan winked, immediately grabbing his keys and heading back out to the still warm Tesla, leaving his bag off the side of the kitchen.

“You up for a tour?” 

If she was honest, her body was entirely exhausted, and her mind wasn’t far behind. But she perked up for his sake and nodded, taking his hand as he started to guide her through the house. He stopped in each room, showing off little details he’d helped pick out, from the colorful couch in the sunken room off the kitchen to the floating desk in Ethan’s room that he’d helped him install. The podcast studio was the most eclectic of any of them, with a massive wooden table that almost seemed carved around the blue light in the middle - not to mention the hot pink wall of the entrance, which was cut off by a wild jungle wallpaper wall that stretched from one end of the house to the other. Grayson spoke a mile a minute, explaining every step, every change they had made to the house since they’d bought it. Indy’s mind struggled to keep up, to visualize what he was saying, describing rooms she’d never seen.

“Ethan got the master this time around, so my room is a little smaller, but it’s cooler anyways.”

He guided her into a dark room on the right side of the hallway. It was somehow calmer than the rest of the house, and it practically zapped the rest of the energy out of her as soon as she passed the threshold. He showed her the green bathroom, the fancy toilet he’d picked out, his massive and meticulously organized closet. But when she flopped down onto the bed, she knew she was done for. 

Grayson smiled when she hummed against the comforter - the first true sign of relaxation she’d shown since he’d picked her up from campus that morning.

“You tired bubs?” 

“No,” she lied.

“You wanna take a nap?”

“No.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

“I’m resting, I just need like… 30 seconds.”

“You can sleep.”

“You were gonna show me the backyard though.”

She felt the bed dip down slightly, and then his lips were on her temple.

“The backyard will be there when you wake up. Besides, I need to get some work done anyways, and you’ve had a shitshow of a morning. Sleep, and maybe we can go get dinner with E squared later if you’re up for it, and I’ll take you to the beach.”

“E squared?” She muttered, only half motivated to stay awake for the answer. 

“Ethan and Eden. They’ll be back over in a few hours I’m sure, he’s saving us from having to listen to their reunion fuck through the walls.”

“How considerate.” Her voice was muffled in the pillow, and it made Grayson smile. He moved to his closet, opening the extra drawer he used to store his blankets and pulling one out for her. 

She vaguely felt the weight of the fabric being laid over her, and a gentle hum that sounded like ‘I love you’ before her body finally gave in and succumbed to sleep.

As soon as he knew she was out, Grayson got to work on all the things that he’d neglected in the last month. He made quick work of a full email inbox, a few calls that he stepped out of the room for, a Wakeheart campaign approval that he forwarded to Ethan - something about being back in LA lit the fire under him that always seemed to simmer out in the cool Jersey air. It took less thought, less intention to go into his kitchen, use his preset on the coffee machine with his favorite mug under it. Jersey was home, but LA was home, and he never realized how much he loved it until he was away for a while. His phone buzzed, loud against the counter - a text from Ethan running across his screensaver of the only picture he’d taken with Indy so far. He made a mental note to take more over the next few days before he opened the message.

Be there in 10, make sure everyone has pants on

He liked the message and stood up slowly, closing his laptop before heading back towards his room. He paused in the doorway, unable to help himself as he looked in. 

Indiana was sprawled out across his bed, one of her legs escaping from under the covers. The pillow was tucked under her head, held by one arm while the other reached out to the empty side of the bed, hand splayed out on the fabric. With his phone already in his hand he couldn’t help but to snap a quick picture of her, a sweet memory that he knew he’d want to keep. He felt a little guilty having to wake her up from what seemed like such a peaceful nap, but he also knew she’d be made if he didn’t give her a chance to freshen up before Eden got there. So he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple, rubbing along her back until her eyes blinked opened.

“Time to get up sleepyhead,” he teased, keeping his hand on her hip as she rolled over and stretched out in the most adorable way.

“Hmmmm, c’mere,” she grinned, reaching up for him and pulling his lips down to hers. The little cat nap seemed to be the recovery her body needed, a reset that allowed her mind to focus on other things, like how good Grayson looked in the fresh t-shirt that he’d changed into while she was out. He indulged her, moving a knee onto the bed so he could get above her and get behind the kiss.

“Ethan’s gonna be here in 10,” he murmured, but his lips still moved against hers, his relief palpable that she seemed to be doing better. 

“Then we have 9.”

“Eden’s coming too.”

She pulled back with wide eyes, and before he could say another word she was rolling out from underneath him. It took her two whole rolls to get to the other side of the bed, which was almost as endearing to Grayson as the way she scurried to her bag in the closet, immediately pulling out clothes like her life depended on it.

“Baby, it’s just Eden.”

“No, it’s Ethan’s girlfriend Eden. Which means she’s not just Eden, it means she’s very important.”

“Important? You act like this is a job interview or something.”

“It’s a girlfriend interview, which is worse.”

“A what?” He struggled to stay focused on her answer as she pulled her leggings off and wiggled into a pair of high waisted black jean shorts as she spoke.

“When you have a woman in your life, a good woman, who isn’t your girlfriend, they go into protective mode. It’s a maternal thing I think, but it doesn’t matter who it is, they keep an eye out for you. And the biggest threat that those women can see for their guy friend is a new girlfriend. It doesn’t mean she’s gonna hate me, but she’s definitely gonna want to vet me at the least. And I bet it’s worse because I’ll be around Ethan so much so she’ll want to be extra careful. Plus, she doesn’t know me from adam, and...hey. Hey. Are you listening to me?”

At some point in the middle of her explanation she’d taken her shirt off, and Grayson’s mind had gone a bit fuzzy at the sight of her bra - dark purple, with a peek of lace under the cups.

“Yeah, yeah sorry. Eden’s nice though, she’s sweet, there’s nothing to be scared of.” 

She turned to him with a frustrated frown that he kissed away when he closed the distance between them, hands moving to hold her bare hips. Her skin was soft and still had a trace of warmth from sleep, and it made him hold on and rub his thumbs against her for a moment, trying to process that she was actually there with him. 

“If you say so.”

“I do say so, and besides, her opinion of you isn’t going to change my opinion of you.” He kissed her forehead quickly and let go so she could get ready. She pulled a tank top on and headed into the bathroom, freshening up until the moment that she heard the front door open, signally Ethan and Eden’s arrival. 

“Do I look okay?”

“Perfect as always,” he beamed, taking her hand and leading her back out towards the kitchen.

“Grayson!” 

Eden came running around the island and barrelled into Grayson like she hadn’t seen him in years. He caught her with a smile, a laugh and a ‘hey evil’, an inside joke that Indy wasn’t let in on. She didn’t have time to dwell on it though, because she was immediately wrapped up in tan arms, her vision obscured by a curtain of wavy black hair. 

“Hi! I’m Eden, it’s nice to meet you.” 

“Hey, Indiana, nice to meet you too!” 

The hug was as awkward as any first hug she’d ever had, but the smile on the boy’s faces made it worth it when Indy pulled back. Ethan was glowing in the way you only glow after you get laid for the first time in a long time, and he’d apparently worked up an appetite, because they didn’t spend more than five minutes in the house before they were headed out to Monty’s. Indy still tried to open the Tesla door like a normal one, barely stepping back in time when it lifted up above her head. To her surprise, Eden jumped into the backseat beside her, forcing Grayson up to the passenger seat next to Ethan. 

“So, you’re in school right? To be a nurse?”

“A doctor actually, but yeah, I graduate in a little over a month with my Bachelor’s,” Indy explained, preparing herself for the questions she was sure to get, being careful to be truthful in her answers without accidentally saying something that would make Eden hate her. Ethan’s girlfriend had a sweet face, peppered in freckles that almost looked faded in her warm toned skin. Her eyes sat large on her face, making her look a bit like a doe. But her outfit told a different story - everything about it spoke confidence and bad bitch energy in a way that Indiana was only used to seeing on LA model’s instagrams. It hit her quickly that it was very much possible that Eden might actually be an LA model, and the thought made her mouth run dry.

“What do you do?”

“I’m a graphic designer.”

“Oh really? That’s amazing! What kind of work do you do?”

Eden launched into her career, from how she got there to what major brands she’d worked for - some of which shocked Indy. Grayson reached back behind his seat a few minutes into the drive, holding onto her leg and running his thumb along her skin as he balanced listening to his brother and listening to the girls. The energy settled in the cab, and Indy breathed out a sigh of relief at the realization that, for now at least, she’d passed the test. 

It didn’t stop the questions though. A constant stream of information grabs, from her favorite things about New York to her family. Grayson squeezed tight when Eden mentioned her mom, throwing Ethan an unjustified look of annoyance. Indiana didn’t mind, though she didn’t love the look of pity that came over Eden’s face when she let her know that she had passed. But it moved on quickly, on to questions of her apartment, her college, her friends. 

The only pause came when the Tesla rolled to a stop outside of Monty’s, which was packed with a long line outside. Eden let out a small sigh, reaching down for her purse.

“Usual, guys?”

They both nodded, a bit of unspoken tension growing in the air.

“Indiana, you wanna come with? The boys can just circle around.” 

“I uh… yeah, yeah sure.” Indy went along with it, stepping out of the car quickly, trying to look back at Grayson through the window for some explanation, but they were so tinted that she couldn’t even guess what his facial expression was. Eden linked their arms quickly, leading her down the sidewalk and to the back of the line as if nothing had happened. Indy watched Ethan pull away quickly, and swore she could see a very concerned Grayson through the windshield.

“It makes it easier if they don’t have to get out. Too many people, and with a line this long the paps would show up.”

Two brunette girls in front of them turned around, interest piqued. 

“Paps? For who?”

“No one, mind your damn business,” Eden said, waiting until they turned around to melt back into her usual friendly demeanor. 

“I didn’t even think about that. About like, getting recognized I guess. But it happened in New York for the first time this morning, on campus.”

“LA is the worst for it. People see you take a picture with someone and then ask for one even if they don’t know who they are. Well, most people our age know who they are actually, but still. It’s not as bad in other places, just the occasional person. Et-” she cut herself off, knowing the girls were still eavesdropping. “He loves meeting fans but it gets to be a lot sometimes. So I try to help him out when I can. They’ll never ask for it, but they never turn it down either.”

Indy swallowed hard. She said it so casually, as if it was totally normal for the two of them to be standing there while their boyfriends drove around just so they didn’t get mobbed. She felt like a million pairs of eyes were on her as they inched forward in line every few moments. Eden just looked at her nails, picking at her cuticles. 

“Does it ever get… normal? Them being recognized?”

“You learn to ignore it. And they don’t go out as much as you think. We’ll go out to show you around because you’ve never been here, but most of the time they’re home bodies. They kinda had to be, coming out here so young.” 

“I can’t imagine coming out here at 15,” Indy mumbled, shaking her head. 

“They’ve been through a lot. But then again so have you. So has everyone, at the end of the day.”

She was taken aback by the sudden depth of the conversation, but it didn’t last long, because soon they were close enough to the menu that Indy was asking questions. The Tesla circled again while they waited on the food, which came in little brown boxes stuffed into a bag. The girls waited on the curb for Ethan to pull back around, climbing in as inconspicuously as they could, getting settled into the backseat again. 

“Got the goods?”

“You know it,” she grinned. Grayson reached back for Indiana again - he’d missed her in the few minutes that they were gone, and he didn’t realize he’d been anxious until it faded when she was back with him.

“We’re going to the secret beach, it’ll be like 10 minutes, so don’t eat all my fries.”

“I bought us all an extra to share.”

“Atta’ girl,” Ethan said, pressing on the gas a bit harder. 

The secret beach, it turned out, was just a less populated one. But it was peaceful, washed pink by the beginnings of a sunset over the ocean. Grayson couldn’t tell if he was more overwhelmed by the colors in the sky or the feeling of finally having his own girl with him, someone’s hand to hold as he moved down the sand beside his brother and Eden. It had been almost a year of him being a third wheel, and he couldn’t stop looking over at Indy, his girl, who was there with him. 

Her eyes were on the ocean. Sure, she’d seen the atlantic ocean plenty of times, but the pacific was different. It seemed bigger somehow, bluer, and it took her breath away. Food forgotten, she tugged on Grayson’s hand, only pausing to kick off her shoes before she was running down towards the water, laughing when the froth of the waves tickled her toes. Grayson’s shoes were soaked, but he didn’t care as he followed her down the coastline, laughing and yelling, picking her up around the waist and spinning her around, stopping to kiss her hard as the waves crashed. Ethan took a video on Grayson’s phone, a proud smile on his face as he watched his brother light up. Eden rested her head on his shoulder, remembering the days where that was the two of them, when everything was brand new and on fire. 

The duo’s burgers were cold by the time they made it back up the beach, and Ethan had already started in on Grayson’s fries, much to his dismay. But they settled in the sand and ate their food, falling back into the group conversation between bites and swallows.

“So, you’ve been in LA for what, 5 hours now? Are you sold yet?” Ethan picked up another fry from the extra container, dropping it into his mouth.

“It’s gonna take a lot more to sell me on anywhere this far west,” she laughed, crumpling up the paper that her burger was wrapped in and tossing it into the box.

“Has Grayson made you a Jersey girl already?” Eden teased.

“It’s grown on me for sure, but nowhere compares to New York.”

Grayson chewed his last fry a bit slower.

“Yeah? Ethan took me into the city once when we were visiting Jersey but I don’t know much about it if I’m honest. I grew up in Texas.” 

“The city is special once you get to know it. There’s so many different people, different cultures, new places to go. And it’s got all the best hospitals, which just makes me work harder because I want to work in one some day. Plus it uh… it’s just always been home to me. I can’t imagine living anywhere else really.” 

Grayson’s stomach tightened, suddenly very full of food and smaller than when he’d started eating. They’d never really discussed living situations. He racked his brain, tried to remember if he ever mentioned that he was only staying in Jersey until the tiny homes were done. Surely she realized that he was going to come back to LA. He couldn’t tell if he’d subconsciously thought that she would want to move with him, or if he just assumed that they would handle the distance. But his mind was instantly filled with the image of Indy curled in on herself in a first class seat, and he resisted the urge to get up and walk it off as the guilt returned. The sun seemed to set faster, turning the beach indigo as everyone got up and headed back for the car. 

Ethan took an extra moment to fold up the picnic blanket they’d brought, letting the girls get just out of earshot. 

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t go all doomsday on this shit and shoot yourself in the foot. Cross the distance bridge when you get to it. You all haven’t been together a month yet, if you start talking moving across the country she’s gonna freak. Give it time.”  

Most of the time, Grayson despised Ethan’s big brother persona - 20 minutes wasn’t a flex when it came to maturity in his book. But in certain moments, he was grateful for his level head. It helped him breathe a little easier as he headed back to the car, happy to see that Eden had shifted to the front seat. He took the back, a bit annoyed at the space between their seats - another perk of his Porsche, no doubt. But he settled for resting a hand on Indy’s thigh and leaning over for the occasional kiss as they found their way home.

Each couple bid their goodnights despite the early hour, a silent understanding of the do not disturb courtesy to be followed. Indy and Gray bumped hips as they brushed their teeth in the same sink, toothpaste filled smiles shining at each other in the mirror. They fell into each other like they’d done it a million times, even though they could still count on two hands the amount of times they’d had each other like this. It didn’t matter that they were in a new place. Grayson felt the same above her, beside her, behind her as they worked each other up and eased each other down. Their voices echoed off the walls the same, the attempt to stay quiet still there as they tried to give the other couple the same respect that they were no doubt trying to give them. 

The travel caught up with Indy first - she was much less versed in time changes after all, and she fell asleep right after her quick shower, curled up in Grayson’s arms, his nose full of her vanilla shampoo and his mind racing, running laps around two words. New York.

He felt like he heard more about the city in his next few days than he did when he was actually there. They facetimed Bekah the next morning, glad to see that she’d made it out of surgery successfully, and that all was smooth sailing so far. She was ecstatic that her two friends we’re getting a break, and she excitedly showed them the new view of the city she had since her recovery room was on the other side of the hospital.

Indy wore a New York sweatshirt that evening when they went back to the secret beach, and she fell asleep with it on on the couch at home, leaned back against Grayson’s chest. He carried her to bed and kissed her forehead, but his eyes focused on the letters, which seemed to be staring at him in the dark.

They ordered pizza for lunch the next day, after an anxiety filled morning of Eden and Indy in a follow car behind the two of them longboarding with their friends. Eden asked about what made NYC pizza so much better, and it seemed like Indy could have talked for hours about crust and sauce, seasoning and ratios. 

By the third day, it was consuming his every thought, and despite Ethan’s advice to let it play out, he knew he had to talk to her, or at least try to.

Indy was none the wiser. The LA sun had warmed her skin and her mind, leaving little lines of its presence on both. By the second day the house felt less like a hotel and more like a home, and she understood why the boys loved it so much. Eden became more than an acquaintance; she was easy to love, and the interview seemed to have stopped for the most part. But a part of her still itched for her New York apartment, the bustle of the city, the familiarity of campus and Jets and the blocks that she walked down.

She thought she’d hidden it well, but she learned she was mistaken on the last night they spent in LA.

“You’re ready to leave, aren’t you?” 

Indy perked up from where she had settled on his chest. It was routine now, for her to rest against him and trace patterns on his skin before they dozed off.

“Hmm?”

“You’re tracing N-Y-C on my chest. You want to go home.”

“Home sounds nice, the plane ride doesn’t though,” she laughed a bit. Laughing was good. Calm, and put together. “Guess it’s just my subconscious.”

Grayson sighed against her, running his fingers over her back as he looked up at the ceiling.

“I didn’t realize you were so attached.”

“To what?”

“To the city.”

“Oh. Well, yeah. I mean, it’s home.”

“Home can be multiple places. LA is home, Jersey is home, hell, even Australia is home for me in a way.”

Indy’s neck got tired from craning up at him, so she shifted up to sit with her legs criss cross as he lounged back against the pillows. 

“Well, I’ve never really had to make anywhere else home. New York has everything I need I guess.”

“You’ve never wanted to try somewhere else?”

Indy sighed, finally understanding.

“Gray, baby, it’s not like I hate it here. I know it’s important to you, and it should be. I’m just saying that New York is… well, it’s New York. It’s important to me, it’s where I’ve planned out my future.”

He sat up further, propping up on his elbow, resting a hand on her knee. 

“What does that mean though? ‘New York is New York’. I mean, it’s a cool city, I’ll give you that, but it’s not just that, right?”

It took a moment for Indy to find her words. She’d never really tried to explain it to anyone, but if anyone would get it, it was him.

“It’s my mom.” 

Grayson’s face fell immediately, and he opened his mouth, but she kept talking before he could.

“I know she’s not there. She’s wherever she is, I guess. But she breathed New York Grayson. That’s the last place that I knew her while she was still her, and the last place that she knew me. My memories of her live in that city, and when I’m not there I feel like I’m even farther away from her. And I already feel like I’m forgetting little things, because it’s been 4 years now, and I can’t even tell what I can’t remember, and it’s scary.”

Her breath caught in her throat a bit at the realization of what she was saying, what she was admitting. She’d never spoken any of it, not even to Charlie. 

“Leaving would feel like moving on and leaving her behind, and I can’t do that. I can’t.” 

Her face fell into her hands, and when Grayson’s arms moved around her and pulled her close, she let him. 

He held her there until her tears stopped, rocking her barely back and forth until the wave had passed. He thought of Sean, of where he was, and what he would say. And he did his best to take on the heart of his father, to be like the man he so admired - selfless, and good, and strong for others no matter what it cost him. He pressed a kiss to her hair before he spoke.

“No one is asking you to leave. I promise, I’ll never ask you to leave. I promise.”

[weloveharrypotter]

Father Figure Pt. 5

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Student! Orphan! Reader

Summary: Christmas is now around the corner and Kat, Y/n’s best friend, confronts Y/n about her sneak aways. She admits that she’s been heading back to hang out with Fred, and she lets it slip that she opened up to him. Kat got angry Y/n opened up to him and not her, and Y/n goes to the one place of comfort. (An Au where Fred lived, it takes place in current time so he’s about 42, Cursed child never happens.)

Warnings: cussing?, falling out with friend/ arguement, friend being rude/degrading

It just after school and Y/n noticed something was up with Kat. They walked into their shared room, luckily they were the only ones there.

They dropped their books on their beds and plopped down.

“Today was very long.” Y/n said.

Kat hummed in response. Y/n sat up and huffed.

“What’s going on.” Y/n asked.

“Nothing.” Kat responded.

“That’s a lie.” Y/n retorted.

Kat sat up and looked conflicted.

“Where have you been going?” Kat asked.

“What do you mean?” Y/n asked.

“I see you sneaking out at night, where do you go?” Kat asked.

Y/n sighed.

“Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.” Y/n replied.

“Both before and after curfew basically all days of the week?” Kat asked. Y/n nodded.

“Doing what? You haven’t brought anything back.” Kat said.

“I never said I was buying anything.” Y/n retorted.

“So you just going their to hang out?” Kat asked, and Y/n nodded.

“With who!?” Kat asked angrily.

“Fred Weasley.” Y/n muttered as she stood up.

“You’ve been sneaking out at late hours to see Fred Weasley! Why? Do realize how that sounds!?” Kat yelled.

“It’s not like that!” Y/n yelled back.

“Than what’s it like!?” Kat asked.

“It’s just... not like that. Hes like... a... father.” Y/n said. God she never thought she would say anything like that.

“He’s understanding, he’s listens, he’s comforting, he cares, and he made it easy to open up-.” “What!?” Kat yelled cutting her off.

“What?” Y/n asked confused.

“Open up!?” Kat asked angrily.

“Kat-.” “No! I’ve been you best friend for two years, and you haven’t told me a single thing. And you know some guy for almost two months and you tell him!?” She said.

“Kat, I know-.” “No you don’t!” She yelled.

“God I put up with you for two years! You and your bullshit! I let you constantly bother me, and you open up to someone else after two months. You know what!? Good! I’m glad you bothered someone else!” Kat yelled.

Y/n’s mind raced a million miles per hour. ‘Bothered? I really am a problem.’ She thought.

“Well, if I’m such a problem... I’ll leave.” Y/n said holding back tears as she grabbed her phone and wand and left.

She cried as she left the school, attempting to avoid any people, so they wouldn’t see her crying. She ran to the train and immediately got on.

—————

Y/n was walking through diagon alley, about to get to Fred’s store, and she hasn’t calmed down.

She was still crying but she managed to hold back her sobs. She finally got the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

She’s reach out and grabbed the door but stopped. The memory of what Kat said came crawling back. ‘I’m tired of your bullshit’ ‘I’m glad you bother someone else’ rang through her head.

Y/n let go of the door and walked away while wiping a tear. She managed to find an empty alley way, not far from the shop.

Luckily there was a bench. She sat on it and brought her knees up, and hugged them. She made sure to cover everything so she wouldn’t have a repeat of the creepy guy.

She put her head down and she could no longer hold back. Y/n sobbed as tears rapidly escaped her eyes.

“Hey, it’s alright.” She heard a worried voice say. She looked up and saw Fred. He walked over and kneeled in front of her.

“H-how did you k-know I was here?” Y/n chcoked out.

“I saw you about to come to the shop, but I noticed you were crying a bit, and ran off.” Fred informed.

“What happened?” He asked.

Y/n took a deep breath before pulling herself together enough to talk.

“Kat and I finished school. And I noticed recently she’s been distant so I asked her.” Y/n started.

“She asked me where I was going all the time and I told her to your store. We argued and I let it slip that I opened up to you.” Y/n before taking a breath.

“And then she got mad because I’ve known her for two years, and I haven’t opened up to her. And she said she was happy that I did Beacuse she was tired of my bullshit, and that I’m a bother.” Y/n finished.

There was a moment of silence.

“But when I got to the shop I realized it was true. And I-I didn’t want to interrupt you while you were working.” Y/n added. Fred placed his hands on either side of her face.

“Y/n, you can come to me whenever you need me. I will always be there. Wether it’s in the middle of the day or midnight. Wether it’s winter, summer, spring, or Autumn. You come to me when you need to.” Fred said as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

“And you are not a bother. You could never be. And you should never feel guilty for opening up. Opening up should make you feel better, and if she’s doing otherwise, she’s not a real friend.” Fred continued.

Y/n dropped her legs to a cris cros position and wrapped her arms around Fred. She buried her head onto his shoulder and let herself cry.

Fred hugged her back, and rubbed her back comfortingly as she let it all out. He could tell she needed it.

Eventually Y/n pulled herself together and leaned back. She whipped her tears and regained her regular breathing.

“There goes everything.” She said quietly.

“What do you mean?” Fred asked hearing her.

“I was supposed to go to her house for Christmas in a few weeks. We’re not going to make up by than, if at all.” Y/n informed.

Fred’s heart ached because that ment one of two options. She either had to go back to the orphanage, or she had to stay at Hogwarts.

That’s when a third option popped into his head, and he waisted no time offering it.

“Come to Christmas with me.” Fred said.

“What?” Y/n asked.

“Come to Christmas with me and my family.” Fred repeated.

“I can’t let you go back to an orphanage.” Fred added.

“I can just stay at Hogwarts.” Y/n suggested.

“But than your missing out on a true family Christmas.” He replied.

“Well it’s not like I’ll know what I’m missing.” She retorted with a bitter chuckle.

“But you could.” Fred said.

“Just think about it?” He asked. Y/n nodded.

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up and back to Hogwarts.” Fred said.

Y/n shook her head.

“Why not?” Fred asked.

“I can’t. I can’t sleep in the same room with her. At least not for the night.” She said.

“Than where do you plan to go?” Fred asked.

“I don’t know. There’s a couple benches around diagon alley I could sleep on. It wouldn’t be the first time I crashed outside like this.” Y/n said.

“No.” Fred replied.

“What do you mean no?” Y/n asked.

“I can’t let you sleep outside.” Fred explained.

“I’ll be fine.” Y/n tried to reassure.

“No. I’m not going to let you sleep outside in the cold, where anything could happen to you.” Fred refused.

“Well I’m not going back.” Y/n said.

“You can stay at my place for the night.” Fred said.

“Are you sure, I don’t want to both-.” “What did I say. You could never bother me.” Fred said cutting her off.

She nodded.

“Come on, we’ll finish my shift, and then we can have a nice dinner and you can get some rest.” Fred added.

Y/n nodded once again. Fred stood up and so did Y/n. The pair walked back to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

He took her to the bathroom and handed her paper towels and than he brought her to his office.

Fred felt bad having to leave her in his office but he had to work, and she seemed to understand that.

—————

It was now 10:57pm, and Fred and George were probably closing up so Y/n decided to make her way out.

Y/n left the office and made her way down stairs.

“When did you get here?” She heard a familiar voice ask. She turned to see George.

George and Y/n had grown close too, but not in the same way, or as much as she did with Fred.

“She got here hours ago, she’s been in my office.” Fred replied.

“Why’d you stop by? Another prank?” He asked.

Fred looked over at Y/n. The face he gave was as he was asking permission. Y/n nodded.

“Her best friend and her had an argument and a falling out today. She came here crying but remembers something her friend had said, and left. I chased her and long story short, she’s refusing to go to hogwarts, and she spending the night at mine.” Fred explained briefly.

George was taken aback at the information, but nodded.

“Why don’t you get home than, I can handle closing.” George offered.

“Are you sure?” Fred asked. George responded in response.

“Alright, come along than.” Fred said. Y/n walked over and him, and they were on his way.

—————

Fed and Y/n got to his place and walked in. Fred closer and locked the door after them. The pair slipped their shoes of and walked in.

“Make you self at home, I’ll be right back.” Fred said as he walked off to a room.

Y/n looked around as she took in everything. She sat down and it was not too long before Fred walked out with clothes in his hand.

He walked back over and stretched his arms out with the clothes in his hands.

“Here you go darling.” Fred said as he held out his clothes.

Y/n took the clothes from Fred. He pointed her in the direction of the bathroom, and she made her way over.

Y/n walked in and removed her uniform, and put on the clothes. It was just a regular sweatpants and hoodie. She grabbed her clothes.

However, both were obviously super big on her, and they smelled like Fred. She walked out and back into the main room.

She noticed the Fred had moved from the living/entrance area, into the kitchen. Luckily the kitchen was open so she should see him and what he was doing.

She walked over and stopped at the entry way to the kitchen, and leaned against a pillar.

“Thanks for the clothes.” Y/n thanked.

“No problem.” He said as he gathered some Ingredients.

He turned around and saw her holding her clothes.

“Do you know how to cook?” He asked.

Y/n looked down slightly embarrassed.

“I only really now how to make grilled cheese.” She admitted.

Fred chuckled and nodded and had magic take over cooking. He turned around and walked over to Y/n.

“I’ll throw those in the wash.” He said as he reached his hand out.

“You did sit on a dirty alley bench, and cry in them.” He added.

“Good idea.” She said handing it to him.

He walked off to what she presumed the laundry room, and he soon came back. He resumed making his dinner but without magic.

“Come here.” He said. Y/n walked up to him.

“Tonight your going to learn how to make some Pizza.” Fred said.

For the next 25 minutes Fred tought Y/n how to make pizza dough. Once it was made they rolled it out, and put on the sauce and topping.

“Alright, put that in the oven.” Fred said as he cleaned up.

Y/n picked up the pizza and opened the oven. A little anxiety picked up. She never really used an oven before, she only ever watched how one worked.

“Should I wear gloves?” Y/n asked.

Fred turned and chuckled when he saw her.

“No you don’t need to.” He said. He then chuckled when he saw her.

“I’ll do it darling.” He said.

“No, I can do it.” Y/n said.

Y/n, really carefully bent over and than quickly put the over in the pizza in, and sprung back up. Than closed the door.

“There were good.” Y/n said.

Fred chuckled as he set the timer for 15 minutes. They washed their hand and dried them off.

“So what do you usually do when you wait?” Y/n asked.

“I’ll usually watch some tv.” Fred answered.

“You have a tv?” She asked.

“Yup, I went out to the muggle world and got one.” He replied.

“Have you ever used one before?” He asked.

Y/n shook her head.

“I live in an orphanage for witches and the owner hates muggles so theirs a ban on everything muggle related. But I was able to buy and sneak my phone around.” Y/n explained.

“Well, today you get to use one.” Fred replied.

He led her to the living room, and he turned on his tv. The pair picked a movie to watch.

Sooner or later the timer went off and Fred went to cool off and cut the pizza. He came back with two plates, and he handed one to her.

They watched the movie and ate and for the first time in Y/n’s life... she felt like she had a family.

Sure Kat used be there but she never felt close enough to call her family. She also never felt close or comfortable enough to open up.

But with Fred it was different. He made her feel safe, comfortable, loved. He... felt like a dad.

Once the movie was over she handed her plate to Fred.

“Thank you.” Y/n said.

“No problem-.” “No not just for the food, and letting me stay the night. Thank you... for everything.” Y/n said cutting him off.

Fred scooted over and wrapped his arm sounded her shoulders, and rubbed her arm comfortingly.

“You don’t need to thank me, darling.” He said before he kissed the top of her head, and stood up.

He walked into the kitchen, and Y/n took a sip of her drink. Soon he came back out, and asked her if she needed anything other than pillows and a blanket.

Once she said she was fine he ran off, and got her a blanket and pillow, and they said Goodnight.

Fred turned off the lights and went into his room. Y/n laid her head on the cold pillow, and pulled the warm blanket over her body.

The events of today ran through her head, and eventually she managed to drift off to sleep.

—————

(A/N): thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed. There will be more parts. 😊

[ahoney--girl]

Chapter 4

A little smut at the end a lot of set up everywhere else. 

Trigger warnings for blow job, self doubt, light BDSM 

“Butt plug?” 

“Green” 

“Blowjobs?” 

“Green” 

“Spanking?”

“Green” 

“Consent non consent?”

“Red” 

“Rope play”

“Yellow”

Johnny walked back from the kitchen handing me the plate with freshly made grilled cheese and some water. Smiling at him he took his spot back in the seat beside Jaehyun 

“Can I ask you something?” My voice wavered as I shifted in my spot on the couch. Looking from Johnny to Jaehyun they sat shirtless in front of me. “Anything sweetheart.” He smiled reassuringly almost hard to believe that he was the same man denying me my orgasm for 20 minutes straight only minutes ago. “I just was wondering if you have any rules uh for me to follow like  outside of the bedroom.” My voice trailed off towards the end, my eyes falling to my grilled cheese. As I bite into it a soft chuckle comes from one of the boys looking up. “Do you want rules baby?” Johnny questions his normal mischievous smirk growing into a smile. “I mean not if you don’t feel comfortable with it. I understand.” “Can I ask you, something sweetheart?” Jaehyun cuts in nodding as his response he smiles. “When did you discover you were a submissive?” His head turns as his eyes shine with curiosity.“You're in high school and yet you seem pretty informed about what you like and what you are open to. I must admit it's refreshing but curious.” Swallowing thickly my eyes shift back to the water on the table. “Last summer I had sex with my boyfriend and it was nothing.” There was a pause as I drank another swallow of water. “I felt completely unfulfilled and had no idea why. Then my best friend showed me this book she was reading. It was about a BDSM couple and it was like from the first page I just knew.” Shrugging I drag my eyes up the boys looking at me softly. “Can I ask you how did you all know you were dominant?” “Jaehyun knew he was one first.” Johnny starts. “He started researching after he saw Fifty Shades of Grey, he was telling me about it and I got curious ” Johnny turned to Jaehyun smiling sweetly. “We had already messed around a few times before so with my permission he introduced it into the bedroom and the rest is what? History.” He laughed resting his hand on Jaehyun’s knee. Winking at Johnny he gently wrapped his hand with his, before they turned back to me. “We started a club at school to help others like us explore and understand the community.” Jaehyun states. They both look so well fitted for each other matching perfectly do I fit into this though? “Okay so back to these rules baby girl.” Johnny’s once soft smile falls back into his mischievous smirk. As he leans forward, eyes dropping to my bare bottom half, "how do you feel about wearing a vibrate during school hours?"

“Open to page 24 and let's start the class discussion, is love at first sight possible?” Hands rose as I shuffled the pages to Romeo and Juliet.

“I feel like bringing up the topic of love when discussing Romeo and Juliet is counter productive.” Hannah’s voice pipes up. Her english class merging with ours today due to the teacher having a family emergency last minute was definitely not the best surprise. “And why is that?” The teacher prodes. “Because they don't love each other it's common knowledge they are two kids who are infatuated with each other, and that infatuation leads to death. If we begin putting love into the discussion it puts a rose tint over it all. As well as can be counterproductive to the discussion of mental health issue clearly petulant in the play.” She adjusted in her seat looking around as he hushed praise fell onto her ears at her augment. 

“So,now you are saying romeo and juliet have mental problems because they are young and in love?” Johnny's voice questions sternly cutting through to Hannah.

“There you go with that word again.” She turns her body so she can face Johnny head on in the half circle set up. 

“And what about seeing someone once and making your whole life about them to the point that you die, when you think they are dead is love?” Her head quirks to the side as she folds her hands on her desk ready for a retort.

“I’m not saying they took it too far but ever hear of puppy love? Or first love? Studies say that the the first time endorphins are released inside of your body it can be as similar to a drug high. So in other words being in love for the first time can be similar to being high 24/7.” 

“So no Romeo and Juliet is a metaphor for drug abuse.” 

“I think Romeo and Juliet can be a metaphor for many things if you look at it long enough but that's most art. What's prevalent to our discussion right now is that puppy love or first love is scientifically proven. Now does that justify the ending of the play? No. Does that justify the death and carnage that happened due to the two falling in love? No. Does it negate that they were in love with each other with the endorphins that only teenagers can be? No.” Johnny’s gaze leveled with Hannah as her body looked to be growing reder by the minute under her uniform. But she refuses to back down from the gaze.

“Well much to think about for the paper that is due in three days' class.” The teacher clapped his hand lifting his book up. “Let start with Romeo’s line.”

“Meet me by the janitor's closet.” 

~Your Jaehyun

“Don’t you have class in a few minutes?” “I have a free period and couldn’t stop thinking about your lips.” Jaehyun smiled, his hand coming to rest on my check as he leaned in kissing me sweetly.“How was your english period did Johnny behave?” Resting his head on my forehead his breath fanning over my lips. “Yeah he was so busy arguing with Hannah he didn't even glance at me.” My voice sounded more hurt than I intended, Eyebrows frowning as I shifted in these realizations. “Are you upset about that? Did you want all of Johnny's attention on your pretty self?” He leaned in kissing softly once again. Pulling away his tongue swipe dover my bottom lip. “No” I lie, eyes still closed form the tenderness of his kiss. “tsk, ts.k” Jaehyun’s hand on my cheek began floating down to my neck, his hand resting croft belly as he applied little pressure. “You don’t want to go breaking rule on your first day now would you sweetheart?” Shaking no. “Maybe I was a little jealous.” “Good girl.” His lips press a quick peck on mine before ghosting down to my neck kissing as he goes. “Now, do you want to make Johnny jealous?”

“1 new attachment” 

“Now let me see those beautiful eyes baby” my eyes followed to look directly into the screen as I lowered my head onto Jaehyun’s dick, moaning when he touched the back of my throat. “Fuck baby keep doing that and I defently won’t last.” smiling I moaned again Jaehyun’s hand holding the camera shook slightly at the feeling “is that what you want? Want me to come down your throat so that you taste me for the rest of the school day baby?” Nodding quickly my hand speeds up his stroking as my mouth meets its pase Jaehyun moans deeply his hand coming to stroke my cheek affectionately “you wish is my command baby”

[five-miles-over]

Joaquin Phoenix Characters as Comfort Foods

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. I’m always happy to learn more about various dishes and cuisines. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

Characters in this List: Arthur Fleck, Joker, Theodore Twombly, Jimmy Emmett, Doug Holt, Doc Sportello, Freddie Quell, Johnny Cash, Max California, Merrill Hess, Ray Elwood, Bruno Weiss, Abbé de Coulmier, Joe, Lucius Hunt, and Emperor Commodus.

Also, most of the foods in this listicle are savory, so let me know if you want me to do a listicle with sweet comfort foods too!

 Arthur Fleck from Joker: Fairy Bread

Fairy bread is a treat from Australia, made with white bread, butter (or margarine), and sprinkles (or as they call them in Australia, hundreds and thousands). Just like Arthur, this comfort food is quite simplistic but it’s extremely cherished. Plus, the colorful sprinkles would appeal to the inner child inside of Arthur Fleck.

The Joker from Joker: Prawn Mee

Prawn mee (also called hokkien hae mee) is a spicy street food from Malaysia made with prawns (of course), pork slices, noodles, and water spinach. 

Much like Joker’s antics, this noodle dish is never dull with its spicy and savory flavors. In fact, there are many variations to this dish, with some adding eggs or squid along with different kinds of vegetables.

(Plus, I chose this dish keeping in mind a scene from The Dark Night Rises in which Heath Ledger’s Joker eats a piece of shrimp while crashing a party.)

Theodore Twombly from Her : Tomato Soup and Grilled Cheese (aka Cheese Toasties)

I’ve mentioned before how the color red seems to be quite significant to Theodore in this film - he wears it a lot, many of his things are red. So the tomato soup is a good fit.

Also, the warmth of this dish (and the gooey cheese) is a perfect analogy for the way Theodore wears his heart on his sleeve. He can be quite a mushy romantic, and often feels nostalgic for a simpler time of love.

Personally, this dish also brings nostalgia because I used to love it when I was twelve.

Jimmy Emmett from To Die For: Chili Dogs

It’s quite ‘grungy’ in appearance, much like Jimmy Emmett. And the intensity of the bold meat flavors and cheese do quite represent the intense obsession that Jimmy has with Nicole Kidman’s character.

(And I’ve heard it’s a great hangover/munchies food best served with potato chips)

Doug Holt from Inventing the Abbotts: Matzo Ball Soup

Matzo balls are soup dumplings made of unleavened bread flour, that are usually added to chicken or vegetable broth. Just like Doug Holt, they are absolutely wholesome and comforting no matter what.

Doc Sportello from Inherent Vice: Omurice

Omurice is a Japanese dish that combines an omelette and fried rice, which sounds like a nice representation of someone who combines the best of both words, being a private investigator and a hippie.

Also, out of all of Joaquin’s characters, I’m pretty sure Doc would be totally down to try this as an alternate breakfast or snack.

Freddie Quell from The Master: Drunken Noodles (Pad Kee Mao)

One of the running storylines in The Master is Freddie’s interest in alcohol - and getting drunk off of it. He mixes various chemicals and substances to create concoctions (that may not be for everyone) to get a buzz. So it only makes sense that his comfort food comes from the word for ‘drunkard’.

These noodles don’t actually contain any alcohol, but the flavors of black pepper and red chile give it a distinct hotness. (Kind of like how Freddie’s hot-headed nature can be quite dangerous at times.)

Johnny Cash from Walk The Line: Fried Catfish

Fried catfish is quite popular in Kingsland, Alabama - Cash’s hometown - so it would be a nice choice to represent this iconic singer. Also, the movie showed fishing as one of Johnny Cash’s hobbies.

Max California from 8 MM: Poutine

Emerging in the 1950s, poutine is a Canadian dish made with french fries, cheese curds, and brown gravy (usually beef or turkey-flavored). The word ‘poutine’ itself comes from the French word ‘poutine’ (meaning “pudding”) and was used to describe the “sloppy” appearance of this dish.

Much like Max California’s job as a porn vendor, poutine can look quite messy on the outside. However, it has a comforting, warm taste that matches how genuine Max really is on the inside. 

Also, I can imagine Max’s work costing him some long nights that call for fast food (meaning fries!).

Merrill Hess from Signs: Philly Cheesesteak

Philly cheesesteaks are named for the American city Philadelphia, which is quite close to Bucks County, Pennsylvania (the location for many of the scenes filmed  for Signs). 

This greasy sandwich made of steak, onions, peppers, and (lots of!) cheese is an integral part of American cuisine, just like how baseball - Merrill’s passion - is fondly known as “America’s pastime”. 

Also, I can imagine Merrill having quite an appetite, so a cheesesteak would satisfy him.

Ray Elwood from Buffalo Soldiers: Beans on Toast

While being a staple in the United Kingdom, beans on toast would probably suit a soldier like Ray Elwood. Given that the ingredients are nothing more than canned beans and bread, it would be the best choice of comfort food for someone always staying in an army bunker.

(Not to mention, it’s pretty easy to make - he could make this while taking a break from shipping illegal drugs around Berlin)

Bruno Weiss from The Immigrant: Schnitzel with Mushroom Gravy

Bruno Weiss may seem like a hedonist on the outside, being a ruthless pimp and entertainer who will do anything to make a profit. However on the inside, his character craves for warmth and affection. 

Schnitzel is a German comfort food consisting of a piece of meat (or cheese) that is breaded and fried before being coated in a flavorful gravy. Much like Bruno himself, schnitzel has quite a hard, distinctive exteriors and a tender interior.

Abbé de Coulmier from Quills: Ratatouille

(This dish has a fun name, I’m not going to lie) What better choice for a French priest than a summer entrée that originates in Nice, France? Ratatouille is a vegetable stew made with various types of squash, tomatoes, zucchini (or courgette), and eggplant (aka aubergine). 

Much like Abbé, this dish may seem quite simple (based on its ingredients, which are primarily vegetables) but it is quite filling and comforting. This dish is surprisingly warm during cold nights, just like how Abbé’s presence brings warmth to Charenton.

Joe from You Were Never Really Here: Spaghetti Alla Norma

Spaghetti is already a popular comfort food in itself, but Joe’s maturity as a character definitely calls for a slightly elegant version of pasta. Spaghetti alla Norma is made with fried eggplant, cherry tomatoes, and basil to garnish. The eggplant definitely adds a meaty component to this dish, just like Joe’s complicated past makes his storyline in the film quite compelling.

Lucius Hunt from The Village: Minestrone

Minestrone is an Italian vegetarian soup usually consisting of carrots, celery, beans, and pasta in a tomato-based broth. The herbs (thyme, rosemary, oregano) flavoring it definitely offer a rustic type of taste. Not to mention, a warm bowl of this soup does wonders after a long day of walking through the woods.

Emperor Commodus from Gladiator: Chicken Tikka Masala

As always, my favorite is saved for last. *sighs* Honestly, I think the rich, creamy nature of the gravy, along with the blend of spices, makes this perfect for an emperor’s lavish and robust palette. Also, it is by far one of the most popular dishes around the world (especially in the United Kingdom) - just like how Commodus is one of Phoenix’s most iconic roles. 

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Still The One (Part 5)

Summary: Just when things seem to be calming down, the reader and Dean get some news that things aren’t over yet...

Masterlist

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x reader

Word Count: 3,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, referenced domestic abuse, minor violence, fluff

______

“So,” said Dean a few hours later. You were settled in bed with your pint of ice cream, wrapped up in one of Dean’s t shirts and a blanket. After the store, he’d made tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner, something nice and warm to fill you up.

“Michael scared me. A lot. I thought I had to be strong all of the time for you to help you recover and...well that wasn’t the best thing for me,” you said.

“Y/N. I can’t guarantee I won’t need you to pick me up some days. But the days where I needed you, where I was a fucking mess and you probably didn’t even know it because I kept it hidden, those days are gone. I have bad days, you have bad days. We take care of each other, it’s that simple,” he said. “No one, and I mean no one, understands what you’re going through more than me. Why do you think I pushed you to go talk to Dr. Porter? I knew you were hurting too.”

“It’s not the same as you,” you said.

“Okay, it’s not but no one’s pain is the same, sweetheart. It doesn’t mean mine’s worse than yours,” he said. You dug at your ice cream a bit before you held up the spoon to him, Dean smiling as he took a bite. You got your own and rested your head on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Getting punched hurts way more than I thought it would,” you said. “Everything was just so weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone came up with this plan to get you out. We all knew...we didn’t know the exact situation but we knew you needed help. But after Michael dragged me inside and down to the basement, the person I thought I wanted to come save me wasn’t my dad or a cop. It was you, even though I knew logically there was no way you were in the right head space or physically capable of doing it. It was weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird. The first person I thought of was you. I kept thinking, Y/N’s smart, she’ll figure out I didn’t mean it. She’ll call the police and get me out of this situation somehow. It’s not weird at all,” he said. You hummed and handed him the ice cream, Dean eating for a bit as you dancing your fingers over his chest.

“That’s the first thing you’ve told me about what Michael’s did to you in Texas,” you said.

“Texas was different than the stuff that happened here,” he said.

“I imagine he wasn’t happy.”

“He hurt me some, which obviously you knew. It wasn’t as bad as you were,” he said. 

“You can tell me when you’re ready, Dean. It doesn’t have to be tonight,” you said.

“He had me in that basement, tied up, similar situation to you and he sat in a chair across from me and he talked, for hours. Hours and hours. He wouldn’t shut up,” said Dean. “He talked about you. He knew all about you. He was stalking you. He told me in very, very explicit detail what he was going to do to you if I as so much as took one swing at him. So I did what he asked and sat there quietly. Not even a snarky comment. I couldn’t live with myself is something happened to you. But it happened anyways and it was still my fault. If I’d stayed away from you, you never would have nearly been killed.”

“Dr. Porter made me remember a few things today,” you said, looking up at him. “Whenever you get in a fight, when I get in a fight, we’ve always had each other’s backs. I will always stand up for you. It wasn’t your fault. It isn’t. When it comes to fighting for you, even you can’t stop me.”

“I love you.”

You smiled and he put the ice cream aside, cupping your cheek before he gave you an oh so sweet kiss.

“I thought you weren’t ready to say it.”

“I have been ready to say it since I was five years old and twelve years old and sixteen years old and twenty seven years old, Y/N. I was always so afraid of you running off and leaving me behind,” he said. His hand reached around and found yours, lacing your fingers together. “You are the one thing I’ve never had to be scared of.”

“I love you too,” you said. You leaned up and kissed him. Dean was far more relaxed than you were used to, your heart swelling up that he finally felt safe and loved again. “I love you so much.”

“Don’t go all mushy on me, sweetheart,” he said.

“Too late,” you said, pulling him into a big hug. 

“Alright. You can mush,” he said as he returned it. “We could both do with some.”

Two Weeks Later

“Dean,” you said, walking out to the garage. “Did you leave my…”

He was standing at his tool bench, staring down at an envelope.

“De?”

“I got the mail. Someone put these inside,” said Dean. You walked over and looked down, pictures of you and Dean from the past few weeks laid out. 

“Someone’s watching us,” you said. “The phone thing. They thought maybe Michael had a partner. Did you-“

“What? Partner?”

“They thought maybe-“

“When exactly were you going to tell me about this?” he asked. 

“Dean, I didn’t know. It was up in the air. Sam and our dads are looking into it,” you said.

“While you what, babysit me? You think I’m gonna break if I know there’s still some nut job out there that wants me?” he said, his face in a scowl. “Fuck you.”

“Dean-“

“No. I have a right to know. Keeping me in the dark...screw all of you,” he said as he stormed inside. He went straight to the hall closet and pulled out a backpack, throwing it over his shoulders.

“Where are-“

“Do not lie to me,” said Dean, getting in your face. A flash of hurt crossed it and he spun around. “Everyone’s a fucking liar.”

“De-“ you got out before he was out in the garage and in Baby. You put your hands on the door, Dean glaring at you. “Just let me know you’re safe when you get where you’re going.”

“What do you care?” he said before he was backing out and tearing out of there.

“Cause I love you you big damn idiot,” you said to yourself, running your hands over your face. “Please be safe, Dean.”

“Dean, we need to talk,” you called when you heard the front door open an hour later. You stepped out to the hall when you didn’t hear anything more.

Standing in front of you was Michael.

He shoved you and you fell backwards, taking a deep breath.

“You’re supposed to be in prison. The police-”

“Did you really think I don’t have contingency plans when it comes to Dean? He is mine,” snarled Michael.

“You were shot they said. You-”

“Do you have any idea how much money I come from? There’s always someone to bribe,” he said as he stalked over to you. “I see things are going just peachy around home. You and Dean playing house still or is that finally over?”

“Stay away from him,” you said as you got to your feet.

“Oh, you got this all wrong. You stay away from him or I will finish what I started,” he said.

“We know you have a partner,” you said, Michael narrowing his eyes.

“Good for you,” said Michael, getting in your face, hot air fanning over your face. “Now I know you don’t quite understand and I wouldn’t expect you to. You and I are going on a little trip. Depending on how that trip goes will depend on what happens to you. Understand?”

“Over my dead body,” you said. 

“I didn’t say you had to be a willing participant.”

You woke up groggy in the backseat of a SUV, Michael shoving you awake from where he drove.

“You punched me,” you breathed out, trying to get your bearings from where you sat on the floor.

“Tied you up too,” he said. You sighed and felt your hands and feet bound, closing your eyes for a moment. “Listen. This ain’t personal. I gotta teach Dean there’s consequences to his actions. Now I know he didn’t go and ask you to get him so I’m going to cut him some slack. But I have to show him I’m a man of my word so from now on, he knows.”

“I seriously doubt beating me again will make him like you, psycho,” you said.

“He loves me,” he grit out. “He’s just shy.”

“Sure,” you said. “I bet that’s it, nutjob.”

“Be quiet,” he said. “No more talking.”

About an hour later Michael had pulled off the road onto a dirt one. You were grateful when it’d finally stopped and Michael parked the vehicle.

You swallowed when he opened the door behind you, a piece of tape going over your mouth. He pulled you out and threw you over his shoulder, walking for a bit until he plopped you down on the hard ground. A cabin was in front of you, Michael knocking on the door once before he went back to you.

You narrowed your eyes when a man maybe just a few years older than Michael stepped outside.

“She the girlfriend?” asked the man. “The one that nearly kicked your ass?”

“I was this close to killing her. I would have if you let me,” said Michael. You stared at the other man, the one obviously in charge.

“Well if we’re gonna kill people for falling in love with people we’re not supposed to,” said the man, giving Michael a look. “Excuse my lovestruck brother. He thinks with his heart and not his head when it comes to Dean.”

The man bent down and pulled off the tape, offering you a water bottle you were forced to accept.

“What do you want. You let me see your face,” you said.

“Always a cop’s daughter it seems,” he said. “I’m Lucian. John Winchester ruined our father’s life and eventually took him from us. We, originally, intended to return the act in kind. Until my brother grew...fond of Dean. We came to an agreement and I believe the three of us can do so as well. Stay away from Dean and he lives. You both do. Leave him be and you can go back to your normal life.”

“If I don’t accept,” you said.

“Well...my brother gets jealous as I’m sure you’re well aware by now. Accept or he will tear you apart in front of Dean and the last thing I need is to clean up the mess,” said Lucian.

“He hurts Dean,” you said.

“And I’ve talked to Michael about that. When Dean is reunited with my brother, I’m sure it’ll be rough at first but Dean’s smart. He’ll figure things out quickly just as I’m sure you’re figuring things out very quickly,” said Lucian.

“How do you know I’ll keep my mouth shut,” you said. Lucian looked over at a shed, Michael going over and opening the door. A slightly bruised and unconscious Dean was inside, your eyes wide. 

“Plans change. I will just as quickly kill him as you if I need to. So. Do we have an understanding?”

“Applesauce,” you said. 

“Uh, what?” he asked. You turned back to look at him, Lucian raising an eyebrow. 

“I said go fuck yourself,” you said, curling up into a tight ball. You heard a lot of shouts but no shooting, someone in tactical gear rushing over to you and cutting you free after about thirty seconds. The second you were out you were over to Dean, watching him stir awake and grimace. “Hey.”

“Sounds like it worked,” said Dean with a soft smile. Michael stared over at the two of you, clenching his fists before he was walked away. “My psychopath saved my ass. Not sure how to feel about that one.”

“I guess he draws the line at you winding up dead. I thought you were for a second. This is not how being bait was supposed to go,” you said.

“Glad I woke up again,” said Dean as he got to his feet. You pulled him into a hug, Dean returning. “Did he hurt you?”

“Just a bruise. I’m okay,” you said. “You?”

“Not okay,” he said. “I’ll get there though.”

“Dean,” said your dad as he walked over, pulling you into a hug. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Alright,” said Dean. You went with him to a police car, Michael leaned up against the side of one. “What?”

“Lucian went too far with the stalking and bugging your home and kidnapping you. I-“

“Your brother wanted to kill me. You wanted...your brother I understand. For him, this was revenge. You though, I never will,” said Dean.

“But...I saved you,” said Michael.

“After you changed the plan we all agreed to with the police and kidnapped my girlfriend for real. You hurt her. You never were supposed to do that. She was never supposed to be here. You wanted her here so that you could try to control me. Again. So what the fuck could you possibly try to say to me?”

“I don’t like her,” said Michael. 

“I don’t like you,” said Dean. He pulled back his fist and decked Michael, your dad pushing him back. “He didn’t follow the plan! He tried to get her killed and-“

“And he will go away. Kid, take a walk. Now,” he said. Dean huffed and walked away, Michael glaring at you.

“This is all your fault,” said Michael. “We were fine until you started to talk to him.”

“No, me talking to him was the best thing for him,” you said. You turned away before spinning back around, kneeing him in the groin. “Dick.”

You went over to Dean who was shaking out his fist.

“Forget him,” you said. “He’s nuts.”

“The nutjob told us his brother was planning to get rid of us both,” said Dean. He shut his eyes and let out a deep breath. “He-”

“It doesn’t matter. Michael and his brother are gone and you never have to worry ever again. I promise.”

One Month Later

“Babe? What are you doing?” you asked that night. Dean shut the blinds to the backyard and wandered over to the couch, laying down with his head in your lap. “No one’s out there.”

“Funny feeling is all,” he said. You ran your fingers over his head, Dean curling into you. “I thought life was a nightmare before.”

You didn’t know what to say so you kept your mouth shut and slid down the couch, holding onto him. 

“Sweetheart. It’s not all a nightmare, you know. There’s a pretty damn good part of this that is the only reason I’ve made it this far,” he said.

“No, it’s not the only reason,” you said. “You came to me. You did all that on your own. I couldn’t even…”

“Y/N,” said Dean, sitting up and pulling you into his lap. “It’s not on you to save me from the bad guys.”

“Yeah it is. It’s how this has always worked. Since we were five years old it’s been that way,” you said. “I told you he wouldn’t hurt-”

“He didn’t hurt me. Not really. I know he was going to hurt you and that...that’s what fucked me up this time. Like you said, it’s how it’s always been. But this time...this time, even though I’m still...afraid of him, I was a whole lot more pissed off. He’s not winning. He doesn’t get any more say in my life. I get to pick from now on,” he said.

“Yeah, you do,” you said softly.

“I pick you,” he said, bumping his nose against your own. “Always. You’ve been saving me this whole damn time. I’ll never be able to repay that.”

“You don’t have to, Dean. I do it and I’ll always do it because I love you,” you said. “It’s that simple.”

“I almost asked you to prom,” he said softly. “If I had-”

“Lucian was coming no matter what. There was no stopping this. He’s going away and Michael’s going away and we can move on. You can move on,” you said.

“I still feel stuck,” he said.

“Then let’s get you unstuck. I have a perfect idea for that too.”

“Hm,” you hummed, tucked into Dean’s side the next evening. 

“Cozy?” he asked.

“Yup,” you said, looking up at him. “You?”

“I think a quiet vacation away was exactly what we needed,” he said. “Someplace to relax.”

“Me too. There’s some great fishing spots around. You still like to fish, right?” you asked.

“I still fish,” he chuckled. “Last time I took you we were seventeen and you hated it.”

“I hated it because you were going on and on about Brandi Mullens and I wanted to throttle you. I was so in love with you and you didn’t even know it,” you said.

“Brandi Mullens had nothing on you,” he said. “I only went out with her to make you jealous.”

“Why?” you laughed.

“Teenage boys are stupid, sweetheart,” he giggled. “Ten years ago that was.”

“You better not talk about Brandi Mullens tomorrow,” you smirked. “I might get a little jealous.”

“No, no. Tomorrow I plan on making out with you and gushing over you until you’re blushing while we fish and you pretend to like it because it’s something I enjoy doing,” he said.

“Well I was planning on talking about Calvin Pulver,” you said. Dean sat up and dropped his jaw. You started to giggle and he leaned over top of you. 

“You liked Calvin Pulver? He was a douchebag!” said Dean.

“I know. You hated him. God, I almost went out with him once to try and make you jealous but that was the night of your mom’s car accident,” you said. Dean lay on his side and looked at you, playing with a strand of your hair. “We were so stupid back then.”

“I biked over to your house, rang your doorbell and started bawling my eyes out. I just remember you catching me and dragged me up to your room and you held me,” he said. 

“I knew that night that I loved you, not just a crush, first love kind of way either. Down in your core kind of love. It hurt to see you hurt like that,” you said, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “My dad drove us to the hospital.”

“You stayed with me in that waiting room for days,” said Dean. “You just wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“You and Sam needed someone to fall on while your dad tried to keep it together. I was more than happy to do it,” you said.

“The night I came to your door, the night I got out of there a few months back, I knew if I could get to that door, I’d be alright. I knew you would take care of me again,” he said.

“No more knocking on my door asking for help from now on. Just roll over in bed and I’ll be right here,” you said. He smiled, nuzzling into your hand. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he said. He kissed the tip of your nose, resting his forehead against your own. “So a fun day of fishing and making out is on the schedule for tomorrow then. Any other requests?”

“Sleeping in?” you asked.

“Obviously,” he said. “I have one.”

“Shoot.”

“I want to take you to dinner in town,” he said. “I have been waiting my whole life to take you to dinner and I really don’t want to wait one more day.”

“That sounds perfect, Dean,” you said, smiling when he kissed you. “You doing okay today?”

“For the first time in a long, long time, I’m doing amazing, sweetheart,” he said. You booped his nose with yours, Dean looking at you with a soft look on his face. “Thank you.”

“Never have to thank me, Dean. I got your back, you got my back. It’s how it’s always been.”

“How it always will be, too,” he said. “Always.”

_____

[aceademic]

Chapter 2 & 2.5 of Band on The Run

Feel free to bash me intensely. Here is Chapter 2 and Chapter 2.5 (mini chapter) from the one and only liz! Enjoy!

Chapter 2

“You see that one?” Mom whispered in my ear, pointing to the far east.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“That’s where your Dad is,” she said. I turned to look at her. She had long and flowy dirty blond hair and the most intricate hazel eyes I had ever seen. There was a sort of glint in them, nostalgic and sad but also . . . wistful. The way she looked then, it made me almost believe what she was saying. Almost.

I gave a small pause. Unsure. “Is that so?” I asked eventually. Pops had told me that the doctors said that Mom developed selective amnesia because when my Dad ran off on her, it was too hard for her to deal with. So now she’s delusional with the idea that our father was a man from space that had to go back to his home planet. She never gave a reason why, her answer to that question was always, ‘He’s not gone forever. He’ll come back. He always does.’

“Yeah,” Mom whispered. “And when he does we’ll take the car out to the fields and sing Brandy at the top of our damn --”

“Geddup!”

I jolted upward and blinked, realizing it was just a dream and I was not at home, but in fact, in a spaceship. My heart sunk to the very depths of my inner ocean of self-pity as I pulled on my jacket.

“Give me a minute!” I answered. I heard rustling and saw Peter climbing out of the small bed, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “Clean yourself up and meet me outside, okay?”

Peter nodded sleepily and I left the room, closing the door behind me. And there was standing Kraglin. He was wearing the exact same thing as yesterday and he look as fresh and awake as morning dew.

“Mornin’,” he said awkwardly.

“What’s going to be our orders?” I asked him, jumping straight to the point.

“Don’t know,” he shrugged. “You’ll have to find out yourself when we get to the hull.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be his second-in-command or whatever?” I asked dubiously.

“Just cause I’m his first mate don’t mean that he tells me everything,” he answered. “He’s a very private person.”

“I’m ready.”

Peter must have slithered his way to my side, because the door was now ajar, and Peter’s hair was slightly less mussy than it was before. I ruffled his hair anyways.

  I stared in amazement as we entered the hull. The walls had veins that pulsed an eerie, vivid red and the walls were a dark, shadowy grey. Chairs, consoles and neon green screens surrounded me. In the chairs were all different types of aliens talking in headsets and taping the consoles, speaking to each other in a language had never heard before. Alien technology scattered the room, and my gaze set upon the crowd of crew members standing by a window with a breathtaking view of the peace of space. They seemed to be staring, whispering and pointing at me and Peter, as if they had never seen a human before. Some frowned, some seemed curious, and some made me want to punch them repeatedly in the face – or faces, because apparently some aliens have two heads.

Kraglin led me to the back where everyone was, and kindly guided us to the back corner where we would get less weird looks. After a few more of the crew hurried in, I noticed Yondu, sitting on a big, comfy captain’s chair, staring down at us all.

“Everyone, meet your new crewmates, Avery and Peter Quill!” Yondu shouted, holding an arm out in our direction. Everyone turned to look at us. So much for being discreet.

“I thought we were giving them over --” a man started, but Yondu shushed him, very loudly might I add.

“I don’t want another word out of your mouth Horuz, or I’ll scrub it clean in the canteen,” Yondu hissed. Some of the men snickered and the other went immediately silent, looking absolutely furious. “If you don’t like how I run things around here, you can get your skinny ass up and leave, you hear?”

It seemed that either no one heard, or no one wanted to leave.

“Good.” A pause. “Gef, Yorker, I want you in the training room. You’re getting to fat for my liking. Retch, Halfnut, Scrotch, I want you on canteen duty. Oblo, Narblik, Huhtar and Tullk, I want you on hallway duty on deck 10 . . .”

The list continued, and as he called out names, people left the room to go to their assigned stations until it was just me, Peter and Kraglin.

“Kraglin, I want you to show them littles around the ship and when you’re done, I want them to go to Rof’in in the training room. He’ll know what to do.”

Kraglin nodded and led us out of the hull. “All right, let’s start with the tour. There are 10 decks in total. Right now, we’re on deck one, all the way at the bottom.”

He started show us around the first deck. We passed the brig, which was where I was kept when I was unconscious, and we went into the hold, muster station, and a small saloon. I made a mental note of what each room was and its purpose. We continually went up, going through the quarterdecks (two whole decks just for where the cabins are), the training room, the turret (which I have to admit was pretty cool), medbay, the promenade deck, the canteen, multiple saloons, the galley, the escape hatches and small bays holding random equipment and such. One oddly contained a whole assortment of mini figurines (most of which were broken).

As we made our way back to the hull, Peter’s stomach grumbled. Kraglin and I both looked at him. I had forgotten I was hungry. I had forgotten that we needed food. For the glorious bliss that was 1 hour, I had forgotten that I was kidnaped and that my head hurt and that my mother was dead and pretended that my good friend Kraglin was showing me around a spaceship. The fierce rage of fire that roared inside me returned along with a loud grumble of my stomach.

“We can stop by the canteen on our way back to the training room,” Kraglin offered. We both nodded hungrily, and I wondered what aliens ate. Probably not grilled cheese.

When we entered the canteen, it was mostly empty except for the people who were working there, cleaning dishes and mopping the floor. No one looked up. There were refrigerators nailed into the wall, full of silver packets and water bottles.

“We don’ get fresh food often, so we eat these,” Kraglin told us, opening a refrigerator door and pulling out 2 packets, turning them over to read something on the back. “Today’s Flicodian tentacles. Should have a similar taste to – what’s that meat thing you eat?”

“Chicken?” Peter asked. Kraglin shook his head.

“No, no, it started with a T.”

“Turkey?” I asked. Kraglin nodded. He walked over to some built in cabinets and pulled out two bowls, opening the packet and squeezing out what looked freeze-dried octopus tentacles. He went over to a nearby tap, and filled the bowls up, sticking them in what looked like some sort of microwave. When the timer beeped after a minute, he pulled the two bowls out, releasing a hearty aroma that did indeed smell a lot like turkey, and Peter and I found ourselves sitting at the long tables in the room, scarfing down the tentacles as if they were our last meal. Kraglin watched in amusement. I put down my fork.

“What?” I asked. He jumped in surprise, and suddenly the wall became very interesting.

“Nothing,” he mumbled. I shrugged, and continued to shove food down my throat, ad sat back happily when the last remnants of food were gone, and the bowl was empty. Back then, I didn’t notice the pink tint that haunted his cheeks.

  Chapter 2.5

Nebula kicked the punching bag. She kicked it again. Her father had given her another mission. And she wasn’t sure she would be able to complete it this time. At least she had Gamora to help. She kicked the bag again. Gamora wasn’t going to help. She would ruin her chances of ever completing it to keep up her status as most-favorable child. The star, his little-one. Nebula started to punch it repeatedly and finished it off with a roundhouse kick. It flew off its chain, and Nebula huffed, grabbing a bottle of water from the corner. She ignored the green alien with blue hair leaning against the doorway.

Nebula didn’t like the hair. This was the 5th time Gamora had attempted dying it and now it was a dark, ocean blue. It didn’t suit her.

“I know your upset with me,” Gamora said. She entered the room, her arms folded across her chest. Nebula gave another little huff, but other than that she screwed the bottle cap onto her bottle without a glance and went to pick up the punching bag.

“I didn’t have a choice,” Gamora said, her voice tense. Nebula turned to look at her with furious eyes.

“There is always a choice,” Nebula hissed. A ray of sunlight hit Nebula, and the silver prosthesis on her head glistened, causing Gamora to look away. “You had a choice not to fight me. To stand up to our fath – to him.”

She corrected herself. It was still hard for her to call him her father, the man who had slaughtered her family, her brother, her entire home planet. He who called her weak and worthless and forced her into impossible missions that almost always caused her to have to team up with Gamora, that back-stabbing wench of a sister. He who ripped out her eye for simply not besting her sister in a fight.

“You know that’s not how it works,” Gamora mumbled, grabbing her arm subconsciously. Nebula broke eye contact, grabbing the punching bag and attaching a new clip onto it, attaching it back to the screw in the ceiling.

“Did you need anything else, sis?” Nebula added a sneer on the last word, making Gamora’s stomach wretch horribly, her brows furrow and her heart twist.

“No.”

It was a lie.

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

I'm sorry you're not in a good mood. hopefully these asks help. 💕 Gayish asks: 1, 3, 21, 28, 34, 35, 80, 90

Kassandra!!!! Thank you so much for your asks, they DEFINITELY helped my mood!!! 🥰💖✨

1: How tall are you?

5’ 6 1/2” (about as average as it gets, kids)

3: What is your favorite part about your body?

My eyes, I think. They’re no Yennefer of Vengerberg but they’re hazel and they actually change color depending on my mood and what I’m feeling, so I’ve always liked that

21: What’s the meaning behind your url?

My favorite fooooood! Grilled cheese and guava jelly 😉 (seriously, try it. I know it sounds weird but I promise it’s good!!)

28: Worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

On a dare I convinced my friend that I was dating Matt Smith. She believed me for two years until I came clean and told her the truth.

34: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

96,000 from In the Heights

35: What is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

I could say something boring but true like “going back to school”, but honestly (if we’re okay getting a little deep) I’d say deciding to accept that some people are not meant to be in my life, even if I really wanted them there. And acknowledging and remembering that my life is better without them, no matter how difficult it may seem to let them go. Believe me, I’m so much happier for it.

80: What is your “type”?

Oh gosh this is a difficult one, because I really have one very specific type but I’m also soooo picky. First and foremost— any woman who could step on me. I love more “femme” women, with looooong hair, and thin fingers— preferably redhead with a beautiful neck, something I could mark up while my fingers were in her hair. If she dresses to the nines, that’s a plus, and if she walks with a cane? Even better 😏 (in all honesty, though: I tend to be attracted to women who are authentic and unique. I don’t care much for “conventional” beauty, and I’m typically not super attracted to models or anything like that? I don’t know, maybe I’m weird. But if the person has a trait (or many) that is unique to them — even their laugh — it automatically gets me and pulls me in)

90: How confident are you in your sexuality?

How confident am I? Like how confident am I that I’m a lesbian?? I’d say VERY— although I definitely have my moments because I was raised Catholic and pretty much everyone around me tells me that I’m wrong or mistaken or something like that. But if we’re talking how confident am I as a lesbian?? Not very— I don’t know that I would ever have the courage to ask someone out at a bar or be the first to kiss someone 🙈

[terreisa]

Love Down the Line: Chapter 8

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch.  When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept.  Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones.  With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, AO3

~*CS*~

Denver, May 20th

“Have you slept with him yet?”

Emma choked on the bite of grilled cheese she had unfortunately tried to swallow just as Tink asked her question.  They were in their hotel room having arrived only an hour before after a brutal thirteen hour drive from Dallas.  She’d had every intention of vegging out and watching the ubiquitous middle of the night marathon of Unsolved Mysteries until she passed out from exhaustion.  Tink’s out of the blue question derailed those plans completely.

Though, she had to admit she’d been waiting for Tink to ask something like that since Chicago.

Ever since the afternoon the bus broke down things had shifted between her and Killian.  She had never considered herself to be a touchy feely person but for some reason with him she couldn’t help but inch closer when they were sitting side by side, or find reasons to brush her hand against his, or a million other little casual touches that seemed to thrill her and ground her all at once.  It wasn’t just her either.  Killian was just as guilty at seeking her out and drawing her close.  He was much less subtle about it than her and to her own surprise she didn’t mind one bit.

Of course, that was when they were around other people.  Whenever they found a moment alone, however, things grew heated quickly.  She’d been pulled into more alcoves, behind stacks of equipment, down empty hallways, and up to more roofs for quick but toe curling make out sessions than she could count.  Not that she wasn’t guilty of doing the same to him and enjoying every second of it.

One thing they hadn’t done was actually talk about what it was that they were to each other.  There had been plenty of opportunities, seeing as they’d found more than enough time to drag each other into dark corners, but Emma had hesitated each time.  The question of what it was they were doing was constantly on the tip of her tongue but she always bit it back.  It wasn’t just her feelings on the line, though they were a major part of it, but there was the rest of the tour to consider.  They were only halfway through and Ruby hadn’t called to tell her that she was ready to play again.  If she gave things with Killan a real, no holds barred chance and they went south the fallout would be huge.  It didn’t help that the tension between them was ratcheting up to ridiculous levels and she knew that he was waiting for her to decide whether to pull back or push forward.  She just didn’t know if she had the strength to do either.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, trying for nonchalance but unable to when she was still coughing.

“Emma,” Tink said exasperatedly, her hands going to her hips, “You can deny all you want but you’re not fooling me.  I’ve read about this over and over again to recognize the signs.”

“Romance books aren’t instruction manuals,” she scoffed, “And there aren’t any signs because there’s nothing going on between me and Killian.”

Tink smirked in triumph, “I’m going to ignore that you insulted my reading habits because I never said who I was talking about.”

Emma sighed in resignation.  She had thought they were being careful but she should have known that Tink, of all people, would have picked up on the shift in whatever it was she had with Killian.  For Tink and her belief in all things love, romance books actually were instruction manuals.

“So have you?”

“No, nosey, I haven’t and I’m not going to-” she took a large bite of her sandwich to hopefully help cover up the giant lie she’d just told.  Tink narrowed her eyes at her so she swallowed quickly to explain, “We’re just friends.  I didn’t think we would be but you know how it is on a tour.  It’s how you learned to tolerate Will for more than an hour.  It’s the same with Killian.  Friends.  That’s it.”

Tink merely stood there, looking at her.

“What?” She snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Okay, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with him or whatever.  He’s got a lot of stories and knows a lot of tricks for the road.  Did you know that he still checks into hotels with an alias?  Like a spy movie?  He said it’s so that someone doesn’t tip off the paparazzi but I think he’s more afraid of his fan club showing up.  I guess there was one time some girl was hiding in the closet of his hotel room before he even got there because he’d used his real name.  He uses James Barrie, you know, the guy that wrote Peter Pan?  It’s his favorite book and- why are you looking at me all smug and shit?”

“Do you even hear the words you’re saying?” Tink laughed. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?  It’s not a bad thing, Emma.  He’s a good guy and he really likes you, has since the beginning.”

“He has?” She asked, surprised.

“Oh my god,” Tink said, rolling her eyes, “You can’t be that oblivious.  Yes, dummy!  I could write my own best seller with all the yearning looks and doey eyes you both make at each other.”

“I don’t yearn,” she grumbled, finishing off her sandwich.

Tink giggled as she pulled out her phone.  Emma frowned when she noticed that Tink was fully dressed, shoes and all.

“Going somewhere?”

“Huh?  Oh, yeah,” Tink said distractedly, her thumbs tapping on the screen.  She looked up smiling, “My old roommate from college runs one of the local radio stations here and we’re going out for drinks and some dancing.  Hey, wanna come?”

Emma looked down at the terrycloth robe she was wrapped in and felt the bone deep exhaustion from a series of good but tiring shows pulling at her, “Nope, I’m done in.  I’m going to finish my onion rings, destroy Ruby in another round of Words with Friends and pass out to the soothing tones of Robert Stack.”

“Well, if you change your mind just let me know,” Tink said cheerfully.

With that she left in a flurry of sequins and an almost noxious cloud of perfume.

Emma snuggled down into her bed, ecstatic with the sudden freedom she had in the room.  She got along fine with Tink but she’d never really gotten used to sharing her space with someone else.  Even when she’d shared an apartment with Ruby it had been a steep learning curve that she’d never gotten the hang of.

Revelling in being alone she got down to the business of doing exactly what she’d described to Tink.  Just as she’d sent off a triple word scoring ‘kumquat’ to pull substantially ahead of Ruby there was a quiet rapping on her door.  Confused and a little worried that something might be wrong she padded across the room and warily looked through the peephole.  Seeing Killian’s distorted face on the other side simultaneously sent a wave of relief and a thrill of anticipation through her.  She pulled the door open with a grin she didn’t even try to hide.

“What brings you to my neck of the woods?” She asked quietly, knowing the other guests on her floor were probably asleep.

Killian shrugged and then scratched behind his ear, “Er, I was making use of the twenty four business center to give Will and his girlfriend a bit of privacy-”

“Oh, Belle’s here?” Emma asked excitedly before she realized what Killian was implying. “Oh, that’s, uh, nice of you.”

“I can be generous at times,” he said sardonically.  Then he began fidgeting again, tapping on the cover of the notebook in his hand with his thumb, “As I was saying, Tink saw me and when I told her my plans for the night she insisted that I make use of her bed instead.”

She stood blinking at him, trying to make sense of his words but only one thing stood out, “Your plans?”

“Aye-” he scratched behind his ear again and wouldn’t meet her eyes, “You see Belle is only here for the night and has a flight early tomorrow morning and considering how, er, enthusiastic Will’s greeting was I told them the room was theirs.”

“And where were you going to sleep?” She asked, narrowing her eyes and hoping he wouldn’t say-

“The bus?”

“Jesus, Killian,” she pinched the bridge of her nose and stepped back, “Get in here.”

He walked into the room but only far enough for the door to close.  When she turned around he refused to move further and they stood toe to toe.

“It’s honestly not an issue for me to sleep on the bus for the night, Swan.  I have done it many times before.”

“So have I and it sucks every time-” she pushed past him but grabbed onto his wrist and dragged him along with her, “You should have come here in the first place.  Even if Tink wasn’t going out we have a perfectly uncomfortable floor for you to use.  I guess you’ll just have to settle for this queen sized quilted mattress instead.”

“Har, har, love,” he said drolly as she let go of him next to the still made bed and proceeded to crawl back into the nest of pillows and blankets she’d accumulated on hers. “That looks cozy.”

“You should see my bed back home,” she said absently as she made herself comfortable.  Then she realized what she’d said as heat crawled up her neck and into her cheeks and Killian raised his brow at her, “Not that I’m inviting you over.  I mean, you can come over but not only to see my bed or you know, you don’t have to see the bed at all.  Whatever, it’s up to you.”

Killian chuckled and said in a low, teasing voice, “Up to me, huh?  And if I said I wanted to see the bed?”

Emma froze.  She knew that as much as he meant it as a joke he also meant it in the way he was implying.  Suddenly Tink’s earlier teasing seemed all too real.  The truth was she wanted everything the women Tink’s precious books got, the blissfully happy ending filled with love, respect and the added bonus of phenomenal sex.  With butterflies the size of seagulls in her stomach she looked at him and hoped that she wasn’t about to make a complete ass of herself or end up with her heart shattered into a million pieces.

“Just the bed or are you interested in the whole place?  Leaky faucets, thin walls and all?”

“I, erm-” Killian tilted his head, his brow knit in confusion.

“Because, yeah, the bed’s great and all but I think the rest of the apartment is pretty good too.  It might not look like it but it is,” she said vehemently and a tiny bit defensively.

“I’m sure it is,” he said slowly.  His eyes darted between hers as though he was trying to read her thoughts, “What is it you’re trying to say, Swan?”

She knew she was being unfair and a bit of a coward by making him try to puzzle it out.  The only time she liked to be vulnerable was in her music and even then it could be an uncomfortable stretch.  Opening herself up to Killian had the potential for disaster but the patient, dare she say doey eyed, look on his face gave her the small dose of encouragement she needed.

“Do you want to want to go out to dinner?”

“Now?” He asked bewildered, throwing a look at her empty room service tray on the room’s table and grinned, “It’s nearly two in the morning, love.”

“No, not now,” she said patiently. “Tomorrow, before the show.  Go out, like, on a date or something.”

Killian’s amused smile softened and he ducked his head, “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?”

“Figures you’d be old fashioned,” she said with a relieved laugh, “Get with the times, Jones.  So, do you?”

“Want to go on a date?  I’d love nothing more,” he said, his gaze flitting back to the tray and then to the tv that was still showing Unsolved Mysteries, “Though I do have one request.”

“Which is?”

“Allow me to plan the evening?”

The earnestness of his question took her by surprise.  Since she’d done the asking she’d planned on doing a quick Yelp search for a higher rated restaurant and calling it good.  From the hopeful way he was looking at her she suspected that he’d already been thinking about what to do on a date with her.  She could feel a warmth surging through her at the idea that he had been piecing together date plans for them already.

“I know how to plan a date,” she said with a small pout even though she was far from upset.

“You know how to astound a packed venue in any city, I know how to plan an evening out in every city,” he said with a confidence she found impressive.

“Fine,” she said with a shrug.  Burrowing back into her pillows and blankets she looked at him askance, “Just so you know I don’t rock and roll on the first date.”

He snorted in amusement, “Well, you’ve never been on a date with me.”

Emma gave him a skeptical hum and delighted at his warm chuckle.  She watched surreptitiously as he toed off his shoes and placed his notebook on the bedside table, noting for the first time that he was in sweats and a hoodie.  When he pulled a couple of pens out of his pocket and placed them on the notebook she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped.

“You wouldn’t be laughing at me now, would you Swan?” He asked with a raised brow, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Just wondering how much you expected to get done in a hotel business center in the middle of the night that you thought you needed more than one pen,” she teased, reaching her hand out to nudge the pens out of alignment.

He huffed and lined them back up, “Terrible thing to run out of ink when trying to get down the lyrics cycling through your head, love.  I’d think you’d understand.”

“You’re writing again?” She asked, scrambling to sit up.

“Oh, er-” he scratched at the back of his neck as his ears began to turn pink, “Nothing of note, really, just some fragments that might have potential.  Or they could end up being rubbish but I should write them down, though, rubbish and all.  Not that I need to write or anything and I am out of the habit so what little I’ve got probably doesn’t hold a candle to anything you could write-”

“Killian-” she reached out and grabbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt, giving it a little shake to interrupt his rambling, “I’m not asking to look at what you’ve got.  I get it, it’s all private until you’ve got it to a point that it’s not so much anymore.  I was just… surprised I guess?  I haven’t seen you credited as a songwriter since the accident so I stupidly assumed you hadn’t written anything since.”

“No, love, your assumption is actually quite spot on,” he sighed.  His gaze drifted back to the notebook and he glared at it, as though it had personally insulted him, “It’s been an uphill battle to get back into it after all this time.”

“Then don’t,” she said with a shrug, letting him go and sliding back under the covers, “No one’s making you, right?”

He made a kind of strangled sound that had her looking over at him.  His ears were turning pink again but he shook his head. 

“So don’t force it.  It’ll be like riding a bike once you’ve actually got something worth writing about.”

“I’m sure it will be,” he said with a small chuckle.

She gave him a satisfied nod but as he began to pull back the covers on the other bed she surprised herself by making a small sound of disappointment.  He looked at her with a raised brow.

“Something wrong?”

“No, I just-” she paused, not entirely sure what she wanted to say.  She’d already opened herself up much more than she ever had with one person before and didn’t think she had it in her to keep going.  There was, however, something else she wanted to do.  Sliding over a bit she flipped back the covers and tilted her head to the spot next to her, “Want to see what late night tv looks like in Denver?”

Killian stood unmoving except for a slight tick in his jaw.  Disappointment crashed through her.  She hadn’t realized just how much she wanted to be close to him, even if it didn’t lead anywhere.  Clenching her fists she forced herself to remember that he’d just agreed to a date and was clearly interested in something with her.  Taking a deep breath she gave what she hoped was a casual enough shrug, smoothing the covers back into place and fixing her gaze on the tv.

“Or not.  I’ll, uh, keep the volume down.  Still a bit wired, you know?”

She kept her eyes glued to the terrible reenactment that was happening on screen and tried to ignore the living statue that Killian had become.  Even when she heard his harsh exhale and low chuckle she continued to look forward.  When he tugged the covers out from under her arm her resolve faltered.

“Budge over a bit more, love?” He requested as he climbed into the bed next to her.   She gaped at him and he gave her a soft smile, “Do you want the light on or off?”

“What?” She said dumbly, the heat radiating off of him clearly addling her brains.

“I think for a true cinematic experience the light should be off but perhaps that will only serve to make it harder to stay awake, though I think that’s the point?”

She snorted, “Do you get more wordy the later it gets or are you just trying to be an ass?”

“A bit of both I suppose,” he said gleefully, “So, on or off?”

“Off,” she said quickly before she could second guess herself.

The sound of the lamp clicking off somehow sounded like a thunderclap.  As she let her eyes adjust to the dim blue light of the tv she was hyper aware of Killian next to her.  She could tell that he’d taken a shower before leaving his and Will’s room since the smell of his soap and deodorant was still strong.  Fighting against the urge to bury her nose in his chest she didn’t realize he had asked her a question until he nudged her with his elbow.

“Huh?”

“Falling asleep already?  Good I can watch whatever I want then.”

“I don’t think so-” she quickly grabbed the remote and held it out of his reach, “I’m not going to sit through some documentary on pirates or Ancient Greece or whatever.”

“I mentioned once that I like Ken Burns and you use that against me?  Bad form, Swan,” he grumbled, though she could hear the smile in his voice.

“We’ll go through the channels once and then we pick something,” she said as she started flipping through channels, “We each get one veto but we’re not watching something that has to do with what we do.”

He turned to her, “Does that encompass the entertainment industry as a whole or merely our melodic neck of the woods?  Because it sounds like you’re using a loophole to get more than one veto.”

“That’s not what-” she paused on a fast food commercial and sighed, “I actually want to be able to unwind at the end of the night and if we watch something music industry related I’ll start thinking about the next show and if it’ll be as good as the shows before it, or how we’re releasing Snowdrops and Buttercups before the LA show and all the interviews I’ll have to do while we’re there, or how Regina keeps hounding me to increase my social media presence to ‘stay relevant’.  If you want to count that as my veto that’s fine.”

She could feel the weight of Killian’s stare but she kept her focus on the insurance commercial that had replaced the fast food ad.  Tink and Ruby had never complained about her taking control of what they ended up watching at the end of the night.  Then again they’d always put on Food Network and kept it there so it had never been an issue.

“Alright-” Killian nodded and wiggled a bit, bringing him closer to her side, “Nothing industry related.  What about musicals?”

“Big fan?” She asked, turning to him with a smile that was due to more than just his teasing question.

“The biggest,” he said with mock seriousness.  He turned back to the screen, “but you haven’t even got to the premium channels yet, love.  Can’t make a decision without knowing all my options.  Carry on.”

They ended up going through the channels three times and Emma using her veto on a cheesy nineties horror movie.  Through sheer luck and good timing they paused on a channel to argue over her veto right as the commercials came to an end and the next program was starting.  By the time they realized what was playing Marty McFly was skateboarding through Hill Valley to the sound of Huey Lewis and the News.  With a grin to match Killian’s she tossed the remote towards their feet and settled comfortably into his side without a second thought.

She came awake with a start to a darkened room an undetermined amount of time later.  Confused and overly warm she tried to turn to look at the clock on the bedside table and found that she couldn’t due to the arm wrapped around her waist.  After a brief moment of panic she remembered whose arm it was and why it was there in the first place.

“Swan?” Killian’s voice was gritty with sleep.

“I missed the enchantment under the sea dance,” she mumbled disappointedly.

He chuckled and it reverberated across her back, “Love, you didn’t even make it to Doc Brown’s house in 1955.”

“Oh-” she blinked owlishly in the dark and blamed it for the question that tripped off her tongue, “Why didn’t you move to the other bed?”

Killian’s arm tensed around her middle.  She held her breath waiting for his answer.

“You asked me to stay,” he said simply.

A vague memory of her doing just that surfaced in her still sleep addled mind.  Wiggling a bit until his grip on her loosened she turned to face him.  She could barely make out his features as her eyes adjusted to the dark but from what she could see he seemed wary but hopeful.

“I’m glad you listened.”

Slowly, so that he would have time to stop her, she leaned up and forward, gently pressing her lips to his.  He made a noise of contentment, returning her kiss for only a moment before pulling back and pressing his forehead to hers.

“I think I should go to the other bed.”

“Why?” She breathed.  The darkness of the room made her feel bold as she snaked her arm between them to rest on his chest, the tips of her fingers toying with the collar of his t-shirt. “I still want you to stay.”

He groaned, “Swan, I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

“Oh, so you’re a gentleman now?” She teased, ghosting her lips over his.

“I’m always a gentleman,” he retorted, as his hand drifted down to her hip and flexed, as though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to push her away or pull her closer, “but you’re making it bloody difficult.  What happened to not rocking and rolling on the first date?”

“You’re right-” she nodded, pulling her head back but inching their hips closer together, “Good thing this isn’t our first date.”

His hand gripped her hip and held her in place as his eyes searched her face.  She gave him a sultry smile as he looked, drawing idle patterns on his chest with her fingers.  It was easy for her to see that he was trying to figure out why she had gone from zero to sixty in the span of a few hours.  Deciding to go easy on him she let her smile soften and moved to brush the hair off his forehead.

“Emma-”

“It’s no secret that I’ve had the hots for you since the leather pants and emo eyeliner-” she broke off at his wide grin and wagging eyebrows to roll her eyes at him, “Please, I know Ruby told you all about my obsession.”

“She may have let some things slip,” he said with a mischievous look, “Is it true you had a photo of me as your phone background?”

“Well, you looked really hot in that photoshoot for Men’s Health,” she stated without shame, though she couldn’t help knocking his ego down a peg, “Even if you totally lied about running five miles a day.”

“I might as well have with the shows we put on every night,” he grumbled. “So you read the article as well?  Good to know you were interested in more than just my pretty face.”

“I’m a fan of every part of you,” she said simply. “Even more now.  Definitely more now.  I’ve gotten to know you, as a musician and as a man, and turns out I really like you.  You get me in ways that no one else ever has, not Regina or Ruby or even the Nolans.  You make me feel like anything I want is possible and I want you in every possible way.  One date or a hundred won’t change that.  Plus I really, really like kissing you.”

“I rather fancy you too,” he said softly, his hand running up her side to cup her cheek, “But are you sure?”

“If I wasn’t I would have made you get in the other bed in the first place or just sent you down to the bus-” she leaned forward and nipped playfully at his lower lip.  When she pulled away he made a low noise in his throat, “I’m sure.”

“Good.”

With a low growl Killian surged forward and captured her lips.  Emma let herself fall into the kiss and thanked her lucky stars that Tink had given them both the little nudge they clearly needed.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Amiright?

Summery- 2.1k. Colin x Y/N. A fun night out brings up some questions. So this was written for @official-and-unstable-satan​ gif challenge. If you wanna participate, head on over and join in, more then happy to nominate you if you desire. I did break the rules a bit with that opening gif, but it does appear before the final gif. Im not much of one to follow the rules, sorry peeps. I roll my own way. 

You and Colin had a easy relationship. It was never really all that serious, you two never even made it “official”. The two just melded one day into this more then best friends with benefits, you were his unofficial girlfriend, a term you thought yourself to be. You unfortunately would freeze up at the idea of official girlfriend, i mean... thats to serious, isnt it?

 He looked out for you, and you looked out for him. Long days at work, he would surprise you with your favorite take out spread on the coffee table, and then you would sit between his legs, his arms wrapped around you while you both played the newest video game. He would make it out like you totally kicked his ass, stealing kisses and nibbles when he wanted to distract you and usually before the night was done, the video controllers were forgotten for a quickie on the couch, often times the video games music was your new sexy time theme song. 

Then other times, he would drag you out of the apartment. His grin boyish as he insisted you change from your work outfit, unbuttoning your blouse and running a hand over the lacy cups of your bra. “Fuck I love this number on you, when we come back, I should peel you right out of this with my teeth.” Your breath hitched, you would like that very much. Placing a kiss to your lips, he smirked “but not right now. I have something else in mind. Something sporty lil minx.” 

“Where are we going?” You question, digging through your closet. “Im not sure of how to dress!”

“Anything babe! Comfy clothes!” He went into the closet you currently were a bit lost in, and reached over you to grab your sweat pants and a tshirt. You look at them with an arched brow and snort while taking them. “You high classing me up Stud?” 

He winked as he pulled on his old beat up grey zip up. “You know it sexy, aint no one got nothing on you.” 

Laughing, the two of you stumble out the door and his arm wrapped around you your waist, holding you in against his side, you followed him along, chatting a bit about your day since he wasnt spilling what the two of you were doing.

But soon enough you two came up to the local gymnasium and he dug out a key from his pocket, unlocking the doors and slipping in. As the two of you walked in, a few lights sprung on and you wiggled out of his hold and sprang forward to do a cartwheel, landing half hazardly back on your feet. “Ta-Da!” giggling as you reach up to pull your hair back into a ponytail, snapping the band you kept around your wrist around. Colin grabbed a nearby basketball and lazily dribbled it as he sauntered towards you across the court. “How did you get the key to this place?”

“I know a guy who knows a guy, who needed a gig played this weekend. Figured we needed a night out baby, and what better then playing Horse?” Another dribble and you put your hands to your hips watching him, you were always down for the thrill of the challenge. Competitive little minx that you are. And he was right, you two had been holed up in the apartment for a tad to long. 

“Well lets make it interesting Colin.” you state, holding your hands out for the ball. “Every missed shot, we get to pick something to loose.” He cocked a brow and raked his eyes over you. “Game on babygirl.“ He tossed you the ball ,and smirked, watching as you picked your spot. Off to the left side of the court, along the edge, you dribble a few times and then with a small jump, flick of your wrist, you sent the ball flying, and hell you made this shot a hundred times growing up. That ball gave a sweet sweet swish snap, and Colin rolled his eyes. “easy, I got this.” Jogging for the ball, he swooped it up and zig zagging over to you, showing off, you step from where you stood while he went to make his shot. 

“Its harder then it looks” you claim, and he winks. 

“Im winning this baby, your gonna look awful good running around all bare ass naked in here while I claim my trophey.” And sure enough he to made the shot. 

“Oh you think your gonna get that far? Whats your trophey?” 

“Why your panties of course.”

Oh fuck, game on boy, you thought and grabbing the ball, you chose your next spot, further away, towards the middle of the court. When you went to make your shot, he snapped your ass with his palm, making you squeek and shoot it way off, not even hitting the back board. “COLIN!” His laughter echoing as he tugged on your shirt. “Off it comes!” 

“That was cheating you bastard” you stick your tongue out as you jerk it over your head and toss it over his shoulder. He grasped your chin and drew your teasing tongue into his mouth, wrangling a moan from you before releasing you.

"Fighting dirty is encouraged babygirl, I thought you knew that" you narrowed your eyes at him as he jogged for the ball, the bouncing echoing while he assessed where he wanted to shoot from. Once he picked, you sauntered in front of him, leaving enough space so he could shoot, but you knew what could distract him. Since they distracted him 20 times a day without even trying. His hand was always snaking up your shirt to play with your breasts. 

Just as he was about to shoot, your hands shot up and giving a luscious lip parting, moan, plumping the swells together, his eyes immediately fell from the hoop to where they were spilling over the top, and sure enough his shot went WAY WAY off the mark. A drop of your hands and the wiggle of the brows, you snicker. 

“Loose the shirt hot stuff!” You tug on his hoodie, and pull down the zipper for him, leaning up to catch his lips in a kiss, fully meant to draw his focus from the game. Tiny nips, flick of the tongue trailing over his full bottom lip and then pulling away before he can get the satisfaction of tasting your kiss. A frustrated groan fell from his chest, and he shrugged off the shirt. 

The back and forth was fierce. Colin got the satisfaction of getting the next few shots, and much to your disdain at this, you shed off your belt, pants and one sock. He did let you keep on one sock, how sweet of him. While you were following along behind him, hooking your hand into his belt loops and tugging on him from behind as he takes a random jumping shot, falling back into you. 

“Ha, you missed baby, Pants, they are finally mine!” 

He doesnt even hesitate to unzip them and tug them off, a smirk playing off his mouth. 

So his next statement threw you off axis, put a pause to your laughter, tilted your whole world off kilter. You dont know why it would scare you so much. 

“My girlfriend is free to take my pants off whenever she pleases.” With a toss he shot them in the pile of clothing you accumulated. 

But you couldnt see that, he called you his girlfriend, girlfriend. You werent anything, never have been. 

“What? Im not your girlfriend.”

He just looked at you a bit weird and picked up the ball. “Of course you are Y/N, we practically live together now, Im just waiting for my lease to end on my apartment.” 

“Oh no buddy.” Your hands go to your hips with a shake of the head “We never said we were anything.” Pointing between the two of you, good mood gone as his face turned serious listening to you. 

“Then what has this all been? You cant tell me nothing Y/N, its been like a year” You already had turned on your heels. You werent running away, no, not at all. You werent terrified that he might have cared about you more then in a friendly way, although you both know thats the biggest mother fucking lie you told yourself in that moment when he was saying your name, trying to get an answer. 

Your gathering your clothes when he grasps your arm. “Will you just stop for a moment Y/N and talk to me?” 

“I cant, I got to work tomorrow.” You lamely make an excuse, fuck work. 

“You know, I knew I god damn knew you would pull this shit Y/N the minute I said it was anything. You know why? Your so damned scared of actually wanting something, you wont say it. Think its gonna blow all up in your face, amiright?” His words running together as you wrench your arm out and you glare at him. 

“Im not the one who just assumed anything asshole.” Your temper flaring to hide anything other then what you really want to say. And you leave Colin standing there in shock, in the middle of the gymnasium, the lights glaring over him and you resolve not to look back as you slam out the door, but you hear him, a string of cusses following you outside in his anger and your name, your name calling you back, to not run away. But run away you did. 

He didnt come back that night, not to your apartment, you heard the slamming of his door across the hallway and you curled up in bed feeling completely miserable about what had happened, how you reacted and maybe he was right, you had some kind of commitment issue after years of self esteem issues. Ones he always talked you through. 

“Babes your so damn smart, what would I do without you?!” Helping him put together a lyric for his music, the words would just come to you. 

“Come on, its not that bad, let me read.” Sneaking a peek over your shoulder at a short writing piece you were indulging yourself in. 

“Kicking ass and taking names” High fiving you after a particularly difficult boss in the video game. 

“Baby you eat today? How about a grilled cheese?” on those days you just couldnt get your shit together and remember to feed yourself. A water bottle being tossed at you. 

“God damn your so beautiful” Early morning wake ups, his arm locking you in close, and not allowing you to leave him for a few moments. A kiss to your shoulder and light nibble to your neck before you really had to start the day. 

It hurt he wasnt there now, the bed felt hollowed and you buried your face in the pillow. Why did you do this to yourself? He tried to text a few times, but you bypassed them, not having an answer for him. He would want one, Curtis didnt just let things go. ‘what are you never going to talk to me again?’ was his last one. Then the phone went silent.  

 The night turned into days, and it turned into the longest three damn days you could recall. Then the third night as you were nursing a beer, secretly listening for the door across the hall, there was a knock, a soft rapt that made you spring up out of your seat. Setting the bottle aside, you unlocked your door and peered out. Opening the door wider, there was Colin, not in his usual band tees, and jeans, or that stupid zip up you missed, no he was dressed up, tie and everything. 

“Hi Y/n” he smiled, fidgeting a bit, he seemed so out of his norm. You shyly look down, picking at your rather unfancy attire. 

“Hi Colin, you look good” 

“Do I? I wouldnt know” He teased and reached out to lift your face with a tilt of his fingers under your chin. “But theres an important woman whom deserves it.” Your brows come together, clearly unsure of what he meant. “Y/N, I didnt mean to scare you off, I should have done this right, not just assume you wanted the same thing I did. Im hoping you do, but if you dont... then I will respect that. Will you date me, be my girlfriend?” 

Seeing him now, those uncalled for fears still lingered, but you wanted this. You wanted him, and the past few days showed just how much he actually meant to you, maybe you both were taking each other for granted. 

“Yes Colin, I cant believe you still want to after I was such an asshole” 

“Nah, you werent an asshole.” He stepped in closer, and kissed your forehead. “Okay, maybe a teeny bit, but I was a big dick for not talk to you about it, so that makes us pretty even right?” 

You laugh listening to him and tug on his tie, dragging him into the apartment. Fuck you missed this. 

@what-is-your-plan-today​ im just gonna tag you in everything till your like “STOP” lmao