#idk this is just an annoying experience I have
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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What are your thoughts about the vanco we got from the alt universe where vi died?
It's good!
I'm just pleased and surprised they went there within the show, but overall I don't have much to say. It appears to be the sort of bog standard happy AU you can find 20 of on AO3. (This is not derogatory BTW, I have myself written reconciliation AUs that could literally be the prelude to that episode and be fully canon)
It's just funny that they made Vi's death into the catalyst for goodness (and given Silco's grey eye, it seems that him not finding or working with Singed is also important, as he has no shimmer).
I especially like that hint, because to me it implies that EVEN if Vi died in our universe, Silco and Vander may not reunite, because Silco has shimmer.
Aka: the perfect weapon to strike against Piltover.
And our Silco is a zealot. IDK if Nice!Silco was any less of one, but I'm sure he'd be in a different mindset if he hadn't been rotting in an underground lab with Singed experimenting on his eye and selling him hopes of violent uprising.
Ultimately I like EVERYTHING Zaundads they gave us, except for the drowning's timing and the reason for Vander' lashing out being just "Felicia died".
I might make a meta post about it.
But yeah, I'm no stranger to fixing shit I don't like in canon (big Star Wars fan ahaha), and all things considered Zaundads is one of the best ships I sail. Having to doctor the timeline for them a bit isn't a problem. The stuff that doesn't work is based on half remembered memories and an admitedly poorly written apology letter. Very easy to work around.
Honestly, a few things stood out as really disappointing in the show, but the rest is so off the charts excellent that I'm trying to make a conscious effort to not let the disappointment creep into things that only mildly annoy me, like the Vander backstory. I don't want to make myself miserable or bitter around a show that had such an important impact on my life.
#anon ask#thanks for asking!#I may do that zaundads storyline fix post yet#arcane#silco#vander#arcane meta#arcane s2#arcane 2#arcane spoilers#arcane 2 spoilers#vanco#zaundads
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oh, sweet religion. the potential of a cgcu heaven and a cgcu hell. like 90% of the characters are being sent to the realm of fire and brimstone, including wayne.
i have little to no thoughts on the afterlife itself. i don’t know what happens after you die. but heaven and hell? i can work with that. wayne isn’t making past the pearly gates.
so in those brief moments between his death and rebirths (plural is crazy) (like was jesus even resurrected that many times? idk i’ve never read the bible) he’d experience hell. the worst torture known to mankind. not dissimilar to what he put cam through, for “i like torturing my favs” crowd (it’s us we’re the crowd).
for the first time ever, wayne was scared. even though his visit was brief, it still terrified him. he experienced real torture for the first time, raw fear and pain and nothing else. when he was brought back, he was relieved. so fucking relieved. he took a brief break, bc yk. just got back from being resurrected. needs time. but maybe, cam wants him to keep pranking. and he does, just less on cam and more on the other characters. he can’t risk going back to hell.
but when he goes off and pranks justin (top ten biggest mistakes in history and it isn’t 2-10!), he’s scared again. he doesn’t want to go to hell. even though he’ll probably get resurrected again he still doesn’t want to risk it. he can’t go through it all again. he can’t.
riffing off your ideas, i don’t truly believe wayne thought his situation was that serious. maybe, deep down, he understood. but he tried to make light of his situation. he didn’t treat it seriously, as he does with most things. so he tried to escape. sure, justin was prepared for everything, but wayne didn’t think so. he underestimated justin. he knew that there was a chance he could get caught and he was a bit scared of what could happen if justin found him, but his confidence took over. he tried to get out, but he was too reckless. justin found him and forced him to watch a cloning process. safe to say that was a huge wake up call for wayne. again, wayne felt true fear. what would happen after he’s taken over by the microchip? would he be sent back to hell? that thought terrified him.
the showing of the cloning process, i think justin would be selective on that. if they tried to escape, and if justin thought it would ruin their morale, he would. otherwise he’d just do some other method of making them stay. what that method is idk go ask justin.
and the gap between his second death and second revival had to have been longer, right? jctm1 takes like 1 day but we don’t know how long it takes for robin and max to figure out richard has god on speed dial. they probably took a small break or something to digest the justin stuff too. either way, it’s the longest wayne had been dead. and he’s more fearful then ever. you think at some point he might become desensitized to all the pain, and maybe that’s true. maybe he gets used to it, but physical isn’t the only form of torture out there. his mind keeps him occupied. he thinks of everything he’s done. he thinks of how he’s hurt everyone he knows and that this is all deserved. all these feelings he hid deep down, for the first time, surface. they all bubble to the top, and it’s all wayne can think about. his mind is torturing him.
i think i’ve said this before but cameron doesn’t like wayne at all, he only keeps him around for views n stuff. he doesn’t kill him because he doesn’t have a valid reason to other than “he’s annoying”. he came up with the perfect excuse to do so, but he brought wayne back. and wayne died again. and he was brought back again. it’s a cycle of wayne going tufar, getting killed, and being brought back. if that isn’t suffering i don’t know what is.
AAAAAAAAA JUSTIN CASE UPDATE??? WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID HE JUST POST RHE SPOILERS TO THE NEXT INSTALLEMENT OF THE STROY RIGHT THERE INSREA DOF BEING LIKE YEAH IM DOING IT IM KILLING CAM RN FUCK ME (ron intended)
anywayssssss
nathaniel is dead, not very skibidi sigma of him at all but i’m not too surprised, cam’s been trying to get rid of ol’ nathan for a WHILE (besides, look at his last name. it was inevitable)
cam added a mary sue self insert oc that’s basically a god into the cgcu who’s summoned by racism and sexual jokes. damn.
i get the ending and it’s alright, but also seems anticlimactic. like cam shows up and tells justin “dude you’re a fictional made up character on the internet you’re already immortal 💀” and justin’s like “oh fr then ig i’ll stop” which isn’t that satisfying at all. i don’t like that ending the discord’s ending (ask me for an invite link if ur interested in the server, we’re all very cool) is much better since yk. it has actual character development.
personally? i don’t like this ending much and i am unsatisfied. it might be better if he actually posts it but i still don’t like it much. if only…….i finished the goddamn animation……..ughhh
also……….max? whipping it out? right there? cam you better film this part or else /hj
#wayne has committed like every sin ever (except sloth and probably lust)#oh wayne…they’re going to have to build another circle of hell just for you#cameron gender#me when i’m just a toy to you my love just a thing to play and then throw away /lyr#ok but now that i do think abt it this feels very “a human’s touch” by twrp#not very it’s actually a little#max is a little freak i wouldn’t be surprised if he just carried it everywhere he went like his keys#also#Immortal Wayne in the sense that he keeps getting resurrected#Wayne isn’t scared of death until it actually happens#<<<THIS?????#OH WOWOWOWOWOOW#my thoughts exactly#he’s immortal#cam essentially made him immortal#he still fears death#sure cameron will come back in and save him and patch him up but he’s still traumatized#wonder how far cams god powers go. if he can erase memories maybe he can untrauma wayne#schrödinger’s shithead. don’t ask me what this means i don’t know myself
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If I have to hear one more “a surprising number of trans men are misogynistic :/“ take it will be too soon
#PLEASE I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO STOP ASKING IF IM TRANS BECAUSE I HATE WOMEN#STOP STOP STOP#it’s like one of those mildly transphobic things where it’s like#… yeah I’m sure some trans men are misogynistic but it’s not like a large percentage?#like tbh its a transphobic talking point and I hear it wayyyy too often irl#like feeling uncomfortable and dysphoric with femininity is a thing but Jesus Christ try not to throw us transmascs under the bus#it’s so annoying#like a surprising number of cis women are misogynistic too#considering that number is non zero#idk this is just an annoying experience I have#transmasc#trans#transgender#nonbinary
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#on a date#im just always like#:) what if they had fun#harry potter#draco malfoy#drarry#draco x harry#harry x draco#hp fanart#hpdm#I was talking the other day abt teenlarp#that’s when you get to do fun shithead teen activities bc you missed out on emotionally and developmentally important adolescent experiences#for xyz reason#like idk a war#and I just think they should be allowed to ditch class#and have fun in at the park#and kiss each other#I also just think it’s true that Draco would b affectionate in a cat way of like oh#I see you’re occupying this tile#what if we shared it?#I’m always drawing him lap crawling lol#butts his head into Harry’s stomach pet my hair#and harry would b the sort to like#not let him up#like squeezes harder when he wriggles#I think they’d both b actually super overwhelmed by positive feeling generally#and it manifests as cuteness aggression and annoying pda
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Youve got MY brain churning now >:D
With regards to the lu x kiznaiver au, if someone is in so much pain that they pass out, do the remaining Links get an instant reprieve? The panic that would seep thru the chain if so- especially the first time it happenssss oohohoho
Im also watching the anime with a friend next week, ty for the unintentional recommendation 😂
It's such a fun concept, the brainrot is real lol!
And ooh, I would think so! Like when u pass out cause of pain, it's because the brain wants to shield u of it, so I would assume that if one of them passes out the rest would stop feeling that link's pain 🤔
The potential hurt/comfort though... you're cooking!
I actually want to rewatch the anime now too! I've watched it twice, but the last time I did was in 2017 so it's been A While lol
It's a short but fun watch, i liked the concept a lot, and I believe there's so many ways to explore it outside of what the anime did !!
I hope u enjoy it! I do remember the cast being very lovable hehe
#i do remember it having like some pretty dumb sex jokes#like I'm super sure those aged like milk lol#just felt the need to warn u just in case!#the main character is like blorbo material so good his whole thing is that he is numb and doesn’t feel pain#so the pain sharing experiment is the first time he feels stuff#and it's good very good#also a lot of whump#oh and love triangles#idk if u enjoy those but this anime has A LOT lmao i personally didn’t find it annoying but i know people do#ANYWAY enough yapping#sorry lol#lu pain sharing au#miry's ask box
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What was Lights out! Frank's reaction to crazy ass Lights out! Wally?
ah i wouldn't call him crazy, Wally's just desensitized to the Horrors and acts accordingly. which is occasionally a little unhinged. but no yeah Frank has a proper freakout <3 he has a hard time adjusting to certain aspects of.... everything. including Wally yeah
(don't bother trying to read this i know its terrible handwriting lmao, it's p much just to show Frank's spiral <3)
#wally when frank first wakes up: omg!!! im not alone!!! a friend!!!#wally ten minutes later: hey frank maybe you should go back to sleep. just a thought#LISTEN listen when youve been completely alone for ages and you have a Routine and youre Used to it#its a little very much fucking annoying to have it all Abruptly Disrupted#wally is used to quiet. hes used to his version of peace and routine#then frank barges in with his panic and Noise and general Thereness#wally is understandably very quickly Done With It#scribble salad#wh lights out au#they do have a fight over The Arm™️ i think#frank doesn't really get it at first. he will eventually#eddie's hat becomes his version of it#and julie's necktie i think. he might wind up wearing it on his wrist. idk tho still workshopping the wardrobe changes and such#but uhhhh yeah frank reacts Not Well!#its just a long day of continuous: what the fuck? What The Fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!#theres just such a disconnect between his and wallys experiences#he hasnt had the chance to adjust or even prepare#very jarring for them both...
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Which version of Rick is your fav?
it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick
then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick
I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?
#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because#Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show#his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished?#idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though#and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY#there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife#I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick#and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man#I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family#WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR#and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine!#I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family#cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience#yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents#I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up#it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family#they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying#but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant#unless you want me to?#idk if I even made sense but that's all good#rick and morty#rick and morty fandom#rick#memory rick#evil rick#C-137#Rick Sanchez
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why are ppl always so mean about taz :(
#every time theres a new arc everyone who only liked balance is like 'oh if u dropped off after balance u have to listen to THIS arc bc its#JUST LIKE BALANCE'#every damn time.#it happened with ethersea a bit but especially w steeplechase and vs dracula#and u get ppl in the notes of these posts saying 'oh yeah i fucking hated everything after balance sooo glad theyre finally doing exactly#what i want them to!!'#like. its ok to have personal preference but dont be mean about it :(#and comparing every campaign to balance is rlly annoying sry#let them be their own thing#stop being so blinded by nostalgia ig#like not to be rude but. i think ppl think balance is the most Perfect Thing Ever but its rlly...not#all the campaigns have flaws but i aint canceling them for that#like what happened with grad#idk its like if balance came later ppl would probably be much more mean about it#bc they wouldnt be blinded by nostalgia as much or smthn#anyways#at the end of the day the mcelroys shouldnt be expected to make a replica of balance every campaign#and thats not what theyre trying to do. theyre doing what THEY personally want to do. like they clearly dont care abt what others think lol#theyre experimenting and having fun#its like. a free podcast with a bunch of silly dudes playing for funsies. they shouldnt have such high expectations or be demonized#in any way#my point being. if i see anyone being mean abt taz u get blocked#>:(#coon speaks#not tagging taz. i dont wanna see nasty ppl in my notifs ty
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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just watched the borderlands movie and the only good part was that krieg’s little harness thingo lowkey looked like a very skimpy little bra thing sometimes
he needs some back support with those jugs ofc
#it wasn’t AS bad as I thought it would be#but it was not good#at all#idk why they changed so much of the story and just like Made It Worse#why did they make Tina’s dad head of atlas? why not just keep her parents killed off? why did they mischaracterise her so badly?#why was she annoying? why was she an experiment? why not use a more compelling villain than Guy Who Looks And Acts As Bland As Possible#the villain was simply. no good#I wish they used jack 😔#I also wish they didn’t do the Lilith’s mum subplot bc it was a little off??? somehow?#and Tannis and Lilith’s relationship wasn’t particularly fulfilling#claptrap was even more annoying#the jokes weren’t funny#the sfx were NOT as bad as everyone said they were I’m sorry I thought they were fine aside from a few weird shots in some chase sequences#another thing I don’t get that much was ppl hating Lilith’s hair bc it’s doesn’t look like in the games#ppl compared the wig to wigs that cosplayers use that look rly accurate and good but#u have to take into account#that it’s rly hard to stylise a live action movie to look something like boarderlands and most cosplays are made to look good statically#things that look good in cosplay and in the game will not look good in a live action action sequences#like if u gave her a cosplay wig it would look great and accurate but it also would be completely rigged in the wind and would not move#like real hair#which would probably be incredibly jarring to see in a live action film especially with all the action#was the hair great? no. I still think it could’ve been vastly improved on while remaining realistic for a live action movie#but I think some people hold it to unrealistic standards in their criticisms or whatever#also costumes have to be actually movable and breathable bc REAL people are shooting REAL scenes and doing stunts and shit in them#but. yeah. the costumes could definitely have had some improvement#I think that if u wanted to make a borderlands film that was accurate to the design of the characters it would be easier to do it animated#and the writing?#we do not speak about the writing good lord#borderlands movie#borderlands
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#listen. hani banani is good but do you know how annoying it is to type up ‘medvjedić lino’ every time#the ć kills me. and let me not talk about ‘cb jesi ti radio traku’ but it’s SUCH a good pun it makes me giggle every time i type it up#maybe just han is fine though… idk….. thoughts? (and prayers?)#ive had three glasses of wine and a gorgeous experience of watching a horror film w my friends so like. im. a little tipsy and high on life#which is a lethal combo obviously and i wanna have a fun hanji tag.
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I do think a good chunk of the 'cringey atheist' stereotype did come from the fact that, especially americans, regardless of their actual religious status are just casually christian and refer to things through a religious filter and that isn't seen for how overwhelming/obnoxious/frustrating it is. Its absense, such as when writing a story and things like "oh god" or other casual references are remove or replaced, is seen as notable the same way people find the cast being all women or queer being 'abnormal'.
And I think more people, especially here on tumblr, should take a moment from ragging on some kid being "cringey" saying god doesn't exist or making atheist jump around like dancing monkeys to establish they're one of the good respectful ones before they ever even begin to talk about their own thoughts, and examine why so much content just inserts god into a conversation that had nothing to do with religion like it's the expected norm, the same way they examine the invasiveness of casual heteronormativity.
#this is just cause an ex christian youtuber i otherwise like refers to any extreme emotional experience as a 'religious experience'#as if everyone can agree on it being so#and theres more than a few posts on here that make me wonder why#so many people are incapable of making something 'poetic' or 'great' without invoking religious imagery#even where it had no relevance#atheism#anyways#ive seen uncomfortably similar treatment that aces in particular have received for pointing out amatonormativity in a post#its rare these days though because atheists have long since been thuroughly shamed in american society as being edgy#which like wooow a christian nation that shames every other religion in some way found a way to shame nonreligious too? shocking#actually i get kinda annoyed when i think about it its one of those propaganda that people casually buy into#without examining it at all#youll see atheists acting like dancing monkeys trying to establish theyre not cringe guys its okay#just to talk about how they feel and think#i remember being a young adult and when someone started talking to me with the assumption of god being in the picture#and id get an eye roll like i was being childish not going along with it nevermind they inserted god into the convo in the first place#without question or comment#and i know it wasnt forceful the same way some ex religious folks can get a bit zealous the same way they were about religion#which theres something to eb said for that zealousness being acceptable when christian but not when atheist or another religion#but ive never gone through such a phase my family has been atheist for several generations now and we were taught to respect beliefs#anyways sorry idk why this is on my brain this afternoon i think i saw a post or smth and it reminded me of that youtuber
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im on vacation how can i make this about the murder time trio. mtt fresh out of a flight and the minute that they leave the airport dust stops horror and killer for the smoke break. because being around a smoker is like that. and while horror is dying and coughing from the cigarette smoke and killer is pretend coughing to make dust feel terrible theyre both simultaneously roasting the shit out of dust for being such an addict smoker. cancer speedrun GO says horror. refreshing his signature smell says killer. dust just glares at them and blows smoke in their face (horror literally takes damage he's at 0.7 HP)
#killer ended up liking that btw. he later asked for dust to extinguish the cig on him. freak#this is absolutely based on my own personal experience#only a person who knows a smoker knows how annoying it is when they take smoke breaks everywhere#car rides are TAINTED by dust having to smoke. eating out is interrupted because dust gets up every 15 minutes to smoke#his bones are a dusty color but not because of the dust but because the smoke has turned them gray from the inside out#i'll need to figure out the right time to post this but the mtt grind never stops even while inter nations ‼️‼️‼️#i MUST relate every single thing i do to the mtt. a similar situation just happened to me like 15 minutes ago#im in germany oui oui or something idk#i cannot wait to come up with a bunch of travel related mtt headcanons this is gonna be so fun#the only fun i'll have during this trip is the imaginary characters in the head i sound delusional#delusional??? like like like horror sans. like like dust sans. is killer delusional. probably idk#update on horror character analysis: i finished some of it on the flight but smh#UNFORTUNATELY i have a human body so i needed to sleep so thats 4 hours wasted on NOT mttmaxxing#and it turns out i REALLY shouldve pre translated time to go mad so i could localize it on a flight with no internet#yeah i didn't think that one through. but at least i got parts of the analysis done WITH NO MUSIC. im a god#since Mad Time Series was so eye opening and fun to translate i cant WAIT to see what Time to Go Mad will be like#calvateyla after being canon dusttale's lord and savior. even after not posting on ask dusttale for years they still manage to surprise me#i almost lost my apple pencil during the flight i swear i was tweaking out#how can i connect this to the mtt#how can i make EVERYTHING about the murder time trio#3 is my favorite number. K D H are my favorite letters. when i see a knife i think of killer when i see a hood i think of dust when i see#mtt brainrot goes hard just like me. im hard. fortunately not like like an erection the mtt brainrot never goes away#top ten most outrageous triglycercule statements#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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vent
did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives
#but i’ve been wasting time not exploring at all!!#doesn’t have to be a forever person it’s just an experience#but still#it’s really weird and idk!!!!#and if i date this guy fr i would have to like go on birth control probably and holy shit i do NOT want more medication#and what if i meet someone else?#i don’t exactly want to commit y’know???#but i’m halfway through my twenties and i don’t know how much time i actually have and if i think about it too long i hyperventilate#which WOULDN’T HAPPEN if i was just continuing on with being safe and alone!!#and what about women?? i love women!#but when i really love something or someone i go crazy about it#i lose myself#so maybe realistic and neutral is better?#am i neutral?#i don’t fucking know and my friends for the most part aren’t quite grasping what i’m trying to say#like yes i overthink and yes it might not be that deep to anyone else including the guy#but it NEEDS to be that deep. to me.#because that’s how my brain fucking works.#i don’t take shit lightly and i never have#that’s why i’m better off alone#or with people who are also deeply unchill#but this guy is so chill! and it does make me feel comfortable!#but it’s also like bro is this conversion therapy am i conversion therapying myself?#my entire identity for more than a decade has been based off being single and independent#and the lapses in that are times in my life that i see myself as unambiguously pathetic and embarassing#with men and women#i feel like a fucking unsocialized semiferal cat that wants affection but also doesn’t know how to accept it#and do i even want it? or is it want i know i should want or what would be good for me so im just slowly forcing myself into it?#it’s so much easier. so much simpler. to not have to freak out about this stuff.#sorry for venting i know it’s annoying it’s just fuck man…
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wish fingernails would just stop growing like that's such a useless feature stop this
#i hate the experience of cutting my nails idk why its hard to explain i just deeply dislike it#but i also hate hate haaaate when my nails get slightly too long its an evil feeling as well#oh and i forget to cut them as well until they start bothering me#and then i have to experience the evil sensation of cutting my nails#just all around awful#people always post abt how awful having to wash your hair is and im like well thats a nice sensation at least#can we talk abt how annoying having fingernails is
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