#idk man i'm just so tired
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
🚗🔪.
#without context the emojis are like vehicular manslaughter or something lol#but in reality they're there because i'm gonna strangle my other brother when i get home#my mom told me that he got into an accident earlier this morning#and he's fine and the car is alright for the most part like it's cosmetic damage#but apparently the other car is really fucked and my brother got a ticket#and like my brother is not an adult he's a kid so that's points and school and shit already#but fuck dude#my family can't catch a fucking break with vehicles this year this is a nightmare#first they stole our new car#then the other one got fucking totaled#then my car got fucked#then my stepdad's car started fucking falling apart so it's currently fucked#and now this#like please @ god and the universe please give us a break#this is so much money that family doesn't fucking have and it's just drowning us we can't dude#the police and insurance never help us they just raise our rates and pretend to file a fucking report#this is at least one of the reasons why americans can never fucking get ahead#how are you supposed to when the things that should be helping you are causing the fucking problem instead?#idk man i'm just so tired#i hate worrying even more about money and my family#i didn't meet my donation goal and i feel bad about that again#because i feel like i'm guilt-tripping people into donating#but then i'm stuck paying $1000 that i don't even have so like what am i supposed to do?#you try to do good things for a good cause but fuck dude#money is the root of all evil#cyndy speaks
0 notes
Text
throw back to when my physiatrist said that I'm going to keep being depressed and suicidal because of my intelligence and then proceeded to give me zero meds
#there were also a month or two when all I could think about was killing two specific people and he just told me#as long as you didn't actually attempt anything it's fine#like dude if my brain is so fucked at a given time and you are telling me you won't do anything until I actually act on them?#how is that help.#how.#thankfully I believe in God so I didn't try to kill either of the people#it was just like a “hey God wouldn't want you to kill them God loves them as well the same amount God loves you”#I'm so thankful I believe in God#or I'd either be dead or someone else would be and I'd be in prison#I just. That whole situation was shit#between my brain working the way it does and the physiatrists “I'm not doing shit for you” attitude#fuck#I probably shouldn't share any of this#idk man I'm just so tired#I look forward to the day when it'll get easier#but for now... my god for now...#and all this barley scratches the surface#fuck.
1 note
·
View note
Text
One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
216 notes
·
View notes
Text
i totally get why people make the captain a military man or ex-military in modern AUs because it makes sense but i personally believe he would simply be one of those middle aged autistic men whose special interest is wwii military vehicles
#idk i just don't like the idea of him enlisting in modern times tbh like. i feel like he only did originally out of obligation#i mean that man is not suited to it. he would get kicked out anyway.#also he's gay so is that even allowed in the uk?#anyways ben willbond's tragic military backstory (military upbringing resulting in a heavy skepticism for it) is right there to borrow#bbc ghosts#again i'm sorta new to the ghosts fandom so pls tell me if this discourse is already tired lmaoo
319 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy Friday everyone
#pizza tower#fake peppino#y’all…this is so stupid#“Hey I thought you were doing pizzatober?” Listen. Shut up.#man idk I’m so tired#october is midterm month and lemme just say: i’m an academic victim#the american education system is jumping me fr fr#additional context: IT'S FUCKING THURSDAY#I'M ACTUALLY LOSING IT OH MY GOD#scribbleshot
171 notes
·
View notes
Text
A promise is a promise…
I wonder what will go wrong this time…
mhh…
#Thank you for 10k!#I guess…#man…#delete later#vent incoming#I'm really scared that something bad will happen again…#that’s why I've been avoiding doing another event but… I guess we gotta face our fears…#still… idk man#idk if it’s my ocd or my anxiety but I've been getting these thoughts…#thoughts of me d/ing next year… just out of nowhere and idk why they've appeared#but they sure are distressing and tiring#AND EVERY THIME I DO AN EVENT SOMETHING HAPPENS#AND I'M SO SCARED OF MY D/ING IS THAT THING#THE BRAIN IS SUCH A MAGICAL BUT SO CONFUSING THING TO UNDERSTAND#…guess letting everyone know this makes me feel a bit better#though I think this will be the last event I’ll make… I want to focus on other stuff…#thanks for listening#<3<3<3
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
here's a snippet of my wip just so i can hold myself accountable and write this shit god. based on this life-ruining post
#user: gossippool 😝#gossippool writes#fic: unhappy man syndrome#i just wanna get to The angst scene but i need to write the prelude first#i need to get stabbed through the head maybe that would rewire me and i could be productive idk#i wanted to finish this chapter tonight but it's almost 3am and i'm tired so it will have to wait. But i will do it. by tomorrow. maybe#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
😭😭
#got tired of wishing someone would gif princess patt (aka the woman whose face card never declines)#so I decided to contribute with my own#shitty screencap posts (TM)#because this bit!!!!!#I know we're all here for anin and pin but this relationship is also v v important to me your honour#I love a good 'dna doesn't make a family love does' situation#(I know princess patt actually IS pin's aunt but you know what I mean)#and I love how you can tell how much she genuinely loves pin and that she really took it upon herself to raise her as her own#which shows in the fact that pin has become an amazing young woman (who has my dream job! you go girl!!!)#and idk man I'm emo :((((#also I was really hoping this scene would end in a hug because they don't seem to ever do it#so it just made me so happy all around#I would die in a battlefield for them#(but seriously CAN WE TALK about how beautiful princess patt is I want to claw my face off#ma'am... I am a weak lesbian please have some mercy)#the loyal pin
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??
Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try
#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type#and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist#anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance#even tho wyll is right there yall#but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it#also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao#more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character#like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog#and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no#i just think it's neat#is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh#pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like#i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride#but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense#except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material#case in point: me lmfao#OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude#anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended#who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol#but i digress#pk plays bg3
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else#but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo#I hate high school#rambles#adhd#executive dysfunction#<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk#im so tired#burnout#adhd burnout#(????? I think????)#high school#I'm just so tired of all of this#the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud#and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore#and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was#and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely#why the hell am I so stressed#I do everything I'm supposed to do#I just want to go somewhere else man#The Netherlands hopefully#I wanna actually DO something#go on a trip for band#not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day#I wasn't built for this shit#I'm so fucking tired
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
yknow i've met a lot of cool people in the twt and blue sky spiderbit community and i and they make some really cool stuff,,,, but man, sometimes it gets really tiring seeing so many people write cellbit as this tough and muscular dominating guy whos taller and roier as the shorter one who's always blushing and getting flustered when flirted with and stuff,,,
and like it's not everyone and it's usually not this extreme in a singular fic or art but it happens often enough that i feel kinda,,, :/
i don't wanna say anything for a few reasons, 1 it's even very present in stuff by the more popular people in the fandom, some people i really respect
and it's not even like an aggressive point but i still feel like it could upset people even though i'm of course not naming names. and yknow people can write what they want but but it's just. really tiring
i had another draft here that came off a lot more frustrated and acusitory because i was feeling shit and kept seeing this type of thing,,,
idk i'm just kinda sad still seeing all of this, but whatever it really doesn't matter at all it's fanfiction about cubitos from a mc smp that's been over for months so whatever,
maybe i'll delete this later idk i don't want to upset anyone or make them feel shitty for anything more just tired of this pattern i've been seeing and still often see.
#rainy day rambles#discourse#i guess idk#it just makes me feel kinda meh yknow#to each their own but man i can't stand seeing this as much as i do#yknow you can have your headcannons that's fine but you can't just say it's literally confirmed and canon#that last tag is about the spiderbit hight thing pls you can hc what u want#but trying to disprove others hcs and continuously insisting yours is ''correct'' and canon confirmed when it's not is kinda frustrating#man i love so much of the community but i'm so tired of seeing so much of this#this post will probably not last but who knows#i'd post it on my alt but it's already all typed out here and i'm lazy
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢
#I'm also thinking about a platonic Pete & Myka soulmate AU and all the bickering that would come with it#Like Pete trying to feel out what the rules are for him dating someone if she and him are soulmates#and Myka's like 'I literally never want to talk about who you have sex with ever'#“But-” / “NOPE! Just do whatever you want Pete!”#And then later as joke (but delivered completely seriously) she says she wants full approval of any serious relationship he has#And she'll be the one planning the proposal for him#(No no no! That's not happening.)#Actually! She might just play matchmaker for him too because she's not sure she can trust his judgement#... or his ability to make a good first impression.#“You wanted my input remember?” / “Not like that!”#And then even LATER when she meets Amanda for the first time she's like 'Wow that's your ex-wife? Man you really fucked up there."#“Yeah thanks for that Myka. That's very helpful.”#“No chance of winning her back?”#“Winning back my ex-wife who's about to be remarried? No I think that ship has sailed.”#“Yeah.... My ex girlfriend is a hologram now so at least this is a step up from that.”#“I never agreed to HG being your girlfriend.”#“.... Yeah but I wanted to.”#“.... Okay this is getting way too gloomy for a wedding day. We need to stuff ourselves with cake.”#Warehouse 13#Myka Bering#Pete Lattimer#Helena Wells#Bering and Wells#my fic#(I guess accidentally in the tags lol)#(idk I'm tired man. My head is all over the place today :P)
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you shut the fuck up about how you hate kokichi haters
LMAO Only when the 90% of Kokichi Haters I'm talking about stop being ableist towards Gonta. :3
As an AuADHD person frustrated and tired of the ableism towards Gonta and the infantizing of him contributing to 90% of Kokichi hate, like. Bro. No????
Like ofc I'm gonna yell and scream about how I hate the ableism 90% of Kokichi Haters have towards Gonta like idk what to tell you this isn't just about me hating Kokichi Haters
In fact if Haters hate Kokichi because he's rude, annoying, or for some other reason, I literally don't give a crap.
So I'm gonna continue being annoying about how the ableism annoys me, mkaaaay~?
#kokichi ouma#gonta gokuhara#danganronpa v3#kokichi oma#danganronpa#drv3#Oooh I made a potential ableist angryyyyy#Who's so angry who's so maaaad#Like considering my recent rants have been about how:#1. Kokichi haters are 90% of the time ableist towards Gonta and I'm Fucking Tired#or 2. Literally lying and saying the other antagonists are So Much More Innocent like#Idk man it sounds like you're just mad bro#Skill Issue really#🤗#like maybe get good?
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tbf BNHA is and has always been confused messaging-wise. It opens with Deku saying: “humans are not made equal” and showing us all of the foul ways quirkless people are treated. Narratively, this is of course seen as bad, but there’s an underlying principle in the narrative there that’s never actively challenged (and there’s not enough time to make it satisfying if they do) that yes, humans really aren’t born equal. That yes, you see SOME characters overcome their limitations (but even then, like in the case of Deku, it’s because of a big narrative magical moment) but they’re largely confined to the roles expected of them. Power in BNHA is never really given to the powerless, a character like Toga or Shigaraki can’t be saved, and power is never truly denied to those who shouldn’t have it— Endeavor is given a dignity his victims weren’t afforded.
And though I don’t think this is wrong to do in a story in and of itself, I think it is at odds with the way it sets itself up in the opening. The first thing we see in BNHA is everyone telling Deku he can't be a hero with no quirk. The story should be set up to disprove that. To show that his heroic qualities are in and of themselves what makes him a hero. But every time in the narrative where it's his character that makes the difference, he kind of. Fails. He can't save Eri at first, can't save Shigaraki (even though he wants to) because Shigaraki is apparently beyond helping, etc etc. Like the largest successes for him as a hero are explicitly BECAUSE he has One for All now.
And that combined with the way the story ends, with the fact that Toga and Shigaraki are not possible to save, and the only thing about them that was worthy of saving was the innocent child they once were, just feels kind of at odds with what the opening of BNHA sets out to prove in the narrative. BNHA sets itself up to be about how anyone can be a true hero, that true heroism is from character and not power, but the only characters that are capable of being heroes are those with power, the only characters that are able to seek redemption are those whose powers allow that for them. A character like All for One is doomed from the outset, and the narrative makes no foil to him to show that there is a choice to be made there.
Idk it just seems kind of sad to me that a story that superficially claims to be about how anyone can be a hero narratively reinforces the very attitudes the first scenes portray as wrong. And it feels too late to change that. It feels too late for that when Mirio had to get his quirk back to be a hero again. It feels too late for that when Toga is dead. It feels too late for that when Deku was only able to defeat evils with a quirk. It feels too late for that when All for One selected everyone and maneuvered them into position and there was no inherent randomness. It feels too late for this story to course correct into "anyone can be a hero, heroism comes from internal ideals" when it's shown time and time again that the only people who get to be heroes are those with the quirks to do so.
#bnha#my hero academia#bnha critical#idk man it just feels like the story isn't thematically coherent#this post isn't coherent either#I feel like I could articulate this better given time but I'm really tired and kind of high rn so it's sloppy#Still#bnha deku#idk I wish this story had gone to different places#The characters are fun#I like some of the arcs in isolation#There's a lot of great elements#The art is GORGEOUS#But the story in and of itself just doesn't gel with what it sets out to do
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
honk
#idk if this fandom is alive anymore but here's burnt toast man#shall i tag this shit.......... sure lets tag this shit#payday 2#payday#hoxton#was thinkin about how therell be another one of these games and felt the sudden urge to draw the fave again#payday tumblr sure was fun to be part of back in the day#anyways i'm off to bed... been insanely tired today and hopefully i'll get to some of the art on my to do list#tomorrow i meant to say. hope to get to it tomorrow lol#i have some nice ones there. though. mostly ones i won't be able to post here lmfao#maybe throw in oc with pride flag thing on this list so i'll have sth posting worthy.#in a non related note at the end here i just finished playing tlou on the pc and it was so much fun... never did finish it on the console#just watched others play through it#i smell an AU but i'll keep that to myself because whomst cares#honk honk good night
361 notes
·
View notes
Text
Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
27 notes
·
View notes