#why the hell am I so stressed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iwanttobepersephone · 2 months ago

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So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?

Things I need to do:

Finish reading icebound land

Make a whole lotta art that I promised people

Research study abroad programs

At least one Dutch lesson a day

Keep my room clean

Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)

My math homework

Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane

Eat at 7pm

Various things I enjoy as to not go insane

All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00

So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks

But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup

#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else #but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo #I hate high school #rambles #adhd #executive dysfunction #<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk #im so tired #burnout #adhd burnout #(????? I think????)#high school #I'm just so tired of all of this #the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud #and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore #and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was #and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely #why the hell am I so stressed #I do everything I'm supposed to do #I just want to go somewhere else man #The Netherlands hopefully #I wanna actually DO something #go on a trip for band #not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day #I wasn't built for this shit #I'm so fucking tired

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months ago

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#ryu ga gotoku #rgg #yakuza series #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #daigo dojima #ryo aoki #masato arakawa #snap sketches #im annoyed looking at this jaGELARKGJ #I LIKE MY LNIE ART BUT .... just nthing was clicking with me rtying to shade this #i only meant for this to be a quick thing today but i ended up mulling over it for longer than i wanted so im just throwing it out there #every time i make a rendered drawing of aokis office it always dark as hell like bro PLEASE you have a lamp #theres like ONE instance where i dont make it dark and it was in that goofy Rumor Mill comic #LIKE EVEN THAT COMIC ABOUT ARAKAWA BEING DEAD IT'S DAYTIME YET I STILL MADE IT DARK VJLAKJVAE #ridiculosu.#moving on ive wanted to draw them playing chess for months i just kept. Not Knowing How To Do It #whats funny is that i initially was planning an entirely different thing but i was thinking about that too much i got stressed #so . thats why i worked on this. and then i got stressed over this 💀💀💀#speaking of chess ive always wanted a chessboard birthday cake with edible pieces .. that a lotta work tho ...#i love chess ... am i good at it probably not but i still lke to play it on my phone sometimes ..#guess ill work on that other thing now that im free and i know what i wanna do now that ive slept on it ... lol ...#mk bye i dont like rendering

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hplonesomeart · 2 months ago

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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff #hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this #seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things #like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork #but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating #my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts #like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular #maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well #I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now #I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others #anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period #one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK #Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT #proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy #PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD #all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL #okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3 #doodles #sketches #hplonesome art #not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me

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rileys-battlecats · 2 months ago

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was trying to figure out why I feel so Wrong rn and I think it's because I didn't follow my usual daily routine like At All and now my brain is freaking out. woke up at a vastly different time, had entirely different tasks throughout the day, took a nap at a weird time (to make up for the fact I had about 3 hours of sleep last night), zero human contact for the past 15 hours, and ate different food from usual (various leftovers from social events/thanksgiving, instead of cooking for myself like normal). and before I really realized that these were all things that were Bad For My Brain I was just wandering around my house like "why do I feel like garbage?? I've literally been outside so much today my brain should be happy"

ANYWAY here's to me not remembering I have issues with unstructured living because my days have been so similar for the past 4ish years that I straight up Forgot that things being too different too fast makes me crazy ✌️

#rye.txt #I'll be fine lol #the sudden shift in my daily schedule and my generally unhealthy eating today were the big things that made me feel Bad #so now that I am actually cognizant of this I can take steps to mitigate it tomorrow #god. what the hell did I even eat #leftover soup. that was breakfast (very out of my ordinary). uhh. a lot of pie (grandma made a ton for thanksgiving).#a tangerine that miiight have been on the edge of going bad #(thought I should eat a fruit. fruit did not improve status)#reheated popcorn chicken? that was not a good decision I felt so gross after eating that #hrm. ok my issue is that I feel like I Need To Eat These Leftovers So They Don't Go Bad #otherwise i'll be Wasting Perfectly Good Food #BUT. I don't want to eat it and eating it makes me feel generally unfulfilled and kinda blehg #ough. why can't I be normallllll #I'm also not dealing with the whole 'zero human contact' very well tbh. which is weird because I'm a deeply introverted person #and usually spend my days avoiding people like the plague #but idk. it's been literal years since I've spent and extended period of time completely alone #I don't knowwww i don't know #I'm gonna invite some friends over tomorrow and get them to help me eat these dang pies #ALSO. ITS BEEN REALLY COLD TODAY. AND I HAD TO BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBORS' HOUSE #(was not breaking in; I was trying to take care of their dogs since they're out of town)#(but their door code AND their garage door code weren't working #and I didn't have a physical key to use #so I had to push my way in through a back door that'd been blocked by a pile of boxes taller than my head #and squirm into their garage in order to get inside and take care of the dogs)#(was a very stressful way to spend my early waking hours)#i ALSO had to drive to the AIRPORT this morning which SUCKED. had to drop off family #which like I'm happy to help but also airports suck so much ass I hate them #anyway. today was sort of shitty #but mostly I only have myself to blame #did not structure my day well enough

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moregraceful · 1 month ago

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it was once observed by a dear friend that the hours in which i am most alert are like 7pm to 2am which probably explains a lot about how my posts get worse throughout the evening. but also sometimes i look at today where i was just sort of gnawing the couch all day until about 5pm when i wrote an entire fic in two hours and then another entire post about kaapo which to be clear took another two hours bc i had to chase links and explain my passions in a kind way and this was in addition to a church meeting. i would excel as the person who lights and then extinguishes lamps in the night

#this morning my therapist was like your eyes are red what's going on #and i said bro i am not on drugs. it is cold and dry in my apartment and i was standing in front of a sad lamp #and they said ah. a sun lamp. i see #YES. BC I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON AND I AM BEING PUNISHED BY CAPITALISM TO GO TO THERAPY AT 10 IN THE MORNING #INSTEAD OF 6PM WHEN I WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION BETTER #i think they think i am abusing substances. human the reason i am the way i am bc i am not abusing substances #i am rawdogging reality in almost every way and i HATE it. i am experiencing a full of range of emotions in real life!!#one good thing about today i must say. i looked in the mirror and went oh wow my california hair stylist did a good job!#my california hair stylist was good at cutting my hair in that she was filipina and understood how to cut filipino hair #she was not good at cutting my hair in that she would get too deep in explaining warriors drama and get distracted while cutting my hair #and up doing something absolutely wacko that made me look like a pepe frog guy bc she was too amped up about klay and steph #and then i'd be stuck with fucking alt right hair for a good three weeks and my only saving grace is how i look ambiguously ethnic #BUT when i saw her last i was like i need you to give me a haircut where if i can't get my hair cut for four months i don't #look stupid as hell. and she said oh yeah i can do that. and gave me a blow by blow of klay and steph's divorce while cutting my hair #and i was fearing for my life. but now that it has grown out pretty significantly i will say she did a very good job of cutting it #unlike every other time i grew out my hair in a big way and it looked incredibly stupid for several months until it evened out #but she cut it so it looks like my hair is on purpose. which i appreciate!#now i have more time to decide if i want to avenge bo bichette and grow out my hair again #without feeling stressed about looking incredible stupid and unkempt #thank you nicole...a true ally...i will never forget how much you hate kevin durant even though you stressed me out so bad...#and you may be wondering why if she gave me that many bad hair cuts why i'd keep going to her #and the answer is: bc i only want my warriors and 49ers news to be reported by an energetic filipina lesbian holding razor on my neck #and unfortunately the local newspaper beats just can't replicate that experience #fresno oilers.txt

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jrueships · 6 months ago

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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually

#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN #she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today #(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed #bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with #she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC #basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets #one is called NAVIGATING DOC #im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings #NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM #and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT #but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK #WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER #she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete #mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING #but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert #abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS #idk man #i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor #it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro #yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site #n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it #so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by #but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM #bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification #if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now #instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON #ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE

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ajdrawshq · 6 months ago

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i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game

#an octopath ze au would be kinda fun actually.. especially the octo2 party #would love to see these guys in an escape room . it would be so awful #temenos would fit in perfectly and might even make a good mc given his 'truth lies in the flame' segments..#i could see partitio doing well bc of his creativity and general demeanor #osvald is great at math but idk how trusting hed be of everyone in this situation.. especially if they assume zero is one of them early on #throné . girlie im so sorry #i think shed do fine for the most part (hard to say how much her thieving skills would be of help here) but she did not deserve this </3 #do not let ochette into any pantry or food storage room. i dont trust any of that food #i wonder if shed have her partner(s) here tho.. how do u handle an owl and/or jackal in this situation..#she would be great for morale tho #same for agnea tho i worry for her emotional state a lil bit . help her #who am i missing .. CASTTI #shes good at managing stress (both hers and others) in awful situations . thank god #and shes there if anyone gets hurt 👍#not that its likely outside of bad end situations ? tho i may be thinking of the 999 map too much..#would it be more fun to use that as the setting or something else altogether.. more modern or more like octopath 2..#how the fuck would someone even make an escape room in . what is it like the industrial revolution. steam era #would it make sense to be able to use magic in universe to pull off something similar..#the canonicity of some ingame mechanics is dubious so its hard to tell how malleable magics uses and effects are..#itd probably be easier to place everyone in a modern setting but i have no idea what some of them would be that way #.. modern fantasy setting ??????#what if they had smartphones in octopath. would that be fucked up or what #also who the hell would be zero . would anyone be in kahoots w zero.. or at least Know Things but be unable to say smth abt it #i straight up forgot to mention hikari earlier but hes prolly like. fine #his intrusive thpughts would probably Suck Bad here but hed want everyone to get out alive as much as everyone else combined #wait who would even be the 9th person. would it be zero. but who..#if it were octo1 id say kit but its harder to get a good octo2 equivalent of him.. hm..#oh god im out of tags . tho what would the game style be like.. nonary game ab game etc etc.. what would be unique but fitting..#am i gonna look into actual scientific theories for this . and how would the morphogenetic field come into play.. and Why..#octotag

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the-acid-pear · 5 months ago

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Okay but. Isn't main character and certified good guy Hank hating androids such a deranged plot beat? I mean bc the whole game is trying to set up this objectively bad parallel between androids and real life ethnic segregation (which is so insane bc androids are actually manmade objects who genuinely don't feel emotions unless caused for a glitch like you cannot compare real minorities to that David Cage you need to be put down like a rabid dog) so him like. Having a much of stickers going FUCK ANDROIDS is like, so fucking awful? The whole framing too like Connor, an Android and in this case a minority, having to give up on his very own responsibilities just to look after and make this guy who is constantly physically violent like him otherwise he's a bad guy for it? Like I know Hank plays up his hate way more than he really feels but with this very obvious allegory it just becomes so uncomfortable that this is the good guy (tm). Like I love Hank this isn't against Hank this is against Cage and whoever let him write this too like Jesus Christ man.

#luly talks #dbh #I SWEAR I LIKE THIS GAME I DON'T WANT TO SPREAD NEGATIVITY BUT I WAS 14 WHEN I PLAYED IT AND DIDN'T REALIZE HOW FUCKED IT WAS #like the racism allegory is so stupid and works not at all but if you imagined it did then shit like this would be like sickening #like why am i befriending this guy who keeps insulting me and my whole kind I'd be allowed to kill him where i fucking stand #I'm latino if i had to be w this cop going fuck immigrants I'd push him off that ledge myself even if i lose the suspect y'know #just insane playing a route without befriending hank has a bitch laid up like fucking hell Cage #also the fact that Connor himself has to stop acting like an android to please hank is sooo fucked up #LIKE I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH IM ANALYZING THE WRITING NOT MY OWN INTERPRETATIONS I STILL LOVE THEM BUT LIKE #AUTISTIC ICON CONNOR STOP BENDING OVER BACKWARDS FOR THIS HATER LET'S KILL HIM

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runawaymun · 9 months ago

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#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government??????????????#so there's still some kind of payment???#anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out?#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that>#UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on'#uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

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justalittlebluetiefling · 6 months ago

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The Mercer-Rays are really trying for a TPK tonight.

#MARISHA HOW DARE YOU #i say affectionately #I'M JOKING this is so funny #why am i not stressed at all lmao the goat really took me out of it #bell's hells #cr3e102 #cr spoilers #cr lb

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minimoll7 · 2 months ago

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Jeez. Windows updated last night and it ruined my PS1 emulator. I use ePSXe. Its now widescreen when I go into fullscreen. I hate that, I don't want that for old games. But I have NO idea how to fix this. I tried messing around with the settings and all I did was greatly shorten the height. I don't understand much of anything I'm seeing online on fixing the issue

This sucks, I hate updates so much. They rarely ever do anything good or helpful. They're just a waste of time and they often ruin or change stuff on me. I am so sick and tired of it

#molly vents #its taking a lot of self control right now not to swear my head off in this post #i am incredibly mad and stressed out #what in the world did this update do #i hate this #and in case someone sees this and wants to tell me to get a new emulator #no i don't want or need a different emulator #i just want to fix this issue #i get that updates are good for like security reasons or whatever #but why do they always make me so mad :)#i've been using this emulator for at least a decade at this point #if not then close #NEVER have i had an issue like this #but then my computer updates and now i can't get the ratio back to normal?#what the hell dude #what sucks is that my cousin is like super helpful with this sort of thing but he got a new job recently and its like #i don't think he's gonna be on at a time i'm awake #UGH #one of my brothers is good with this stuff to but he's in bed right now and also kind of sucks with actually responding

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it

#snap chats #being without my computer charger has been maddening #that makes me sound terminally online and its because i am. its also cause all i ever wanna do is draw :((#AND I ESP WANNA WORK ON MY COMMS NOOOOO FUCK #i mean i was at least able to read through yakuza’s bias vol 2… so theres that…#MY SCHOOL STORE DIDNT HAVE LAPTOP CHARGERS i had to order one… hopefully it gets here Overnight like i asked….. if not ill kill #anyway. daigo plushie so cute :((((((((((((((((#mine cute too but theres just something especially squeezeable about daigo #alas.. thats what the aoki plush’ll be for. my personal stress toy ☠️☠️☠️☠️#lowkey i wish i also got ichi but then i remenbee they made him pale as all hell and Yeah Im Not Putting Money To That #THE SMALLEST BIT OF A TAN I BEG YOU RGG WHY IS HE SO PALE IT DONT LOOK RIIIIGHT :((((#anyway.. i have my last class in half an hour… lemme drink this tea…#also Lowkey obsessed with my outfit today.. its that butterfly shirt + gold accessories since theyre monarch butterflies #tho Lowkey 2x the black and yellow remind me of the watase blokes from gaiden…… wack…..#ok bye its tea time #help one of my roommates just came home and she just announces like. ‘man those edibles were. OUGH’#calling my dad to pick me up nooo im a lame straight edge dont talk about drugs around me ill scream and cry LMAO #ok im done byebye lemme drink this good god

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actual-corpse · 13 days ago

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My dad is having blood pressure issues and anxiety and all that shit.

THIRTY-FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS

THIRTY. FIVE. GOD DAMNED. HUNDRED. FUCKING. DOLLARS.

Without insurance. Because it's hard as fuck to get insurance on your own (too many fucking scams. Not great when you have no idea what you're doing).

Luigi is an innocent man. Brian Whatever deserved to fucking die and so do the rest of those fucking CEOs.

Innocents are fucking dying from preventable causes all to line the pockets of those Cocksucking Executive Officers.

The UHC shooter is a fucking hero.

#why the FUCK is ANY medicine $3500? EVER?#PEOPLE ARE DYING #DYING!#because they can't get insulin #they cant fight their cancer #they can't afford their surgery #uhc ceo #uhc shooter #fuck ceos #how does any of this make any fucking sense?#my dad is fucked all to hell and we cant do anything because my mom can't draw any retirement or Social yet #i am looking for a job while trying to get into grad school and dad is the only one with a job #the stress of which is makong shit worse. he can't make money if he has to leave early or cant come in #im so fucking angry #They keep us down and depressed like this so we dont have the energy to stand up

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sanjiafterhours · 9 months ago

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your top 15 favourite tv shows can say a lot about your personality

Tagged by @kuhakukage

Let's go besties :

1. Courage the Cowardly Dog

2. Danny Phantom

3. Teen Titans

4. Teen Wolf

5. Inuyasha

7. Tokyo Ghoul

8. Shen He Ling/Word of Honor

9. Australia's next top model

10. Brooklyn 99

11. How to get away with murder

No tags all the besties can come list their favourite shows so i can get some good tv show recs thank yew.

#bear with me it'll take me some more years to reach 15 tv shows probably #cz im a hater i like watching shows just to analyze and criticise the hell out of them until they disintegrate inside my brain #so u can imagine the kind of stress i am under when i try to list shows I like when i cant even remember what i watched #these are the shows that I'd actually rewatch #i don't usually like to rewatch stuff because i feel like my head will explode if im not seeing new things #ok but now that i think about it what DOES it say about my personality #only 2 of the shows on this list are from my adult life lmao #fried braincell things #for HTGAWM i love Annalise Keating. viola Davis is IT she's the icon she IS the moment i love her.#amd also my girl Michaela pratt got me through college i am her she is me (academically)#b99 is beautiful perfect amazing i love it #on that note Andre braugher we miss you thank you for all that you did #i also love Gina and was annoyed asf when she was taken out of the show #currently im watching the vampire diaries and shit is not hitting im gonna be honest #I'm currently watching 3 series and reading 2 books at once so u can imagine why my brain is fried

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shiryawashere · 14 days ago

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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it

#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it #and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess #either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like #this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting #idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud #when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon #it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it #i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game #we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y #and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think #just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over #only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck #artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point #anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything #started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off #i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck #god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.

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graham--folger · 10 months ago

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*through gritted teeth* what the fuck do people want from a resume

#this semester i've had three different people look at my resume and all three of them were like contradicting whatever the other person said #one said add references. the other said don't add references. the other said no add them back in #one said add color. one said only do black & white. one said no you should have color #also in terms of content they all differed as well like. guys i just want to get this fucking internship so i can get out of here #i appreciate the feedback but i think it's made me more stressed in the long run #alex’s inane ramblings #plus just now finding out im gonna need to do a fucking seminar probably in addition to my internship unless i want to do 4 credits of #internship. i fucking hate seminars. and it's taught by my advisor who i like. but he knows how fucking quiet i am and calls me out on it o #the daily. which gets on my fucking nerves let me tell you #im the most non-english-major english major to ever exist #don't make me talk. please dear god don't make me talk #plus in this seminar we would be writing a 20 page paper. on american romance lit.#sorry dr. phillis but that sounds godawful #and if i decide to do the seminar it conflicts with another class i need to take so id have to talk to my graphic design advisor about maki #a substitution #hell on earth. why the fuck is graduating so goddamn hard #i don't have enough credits to be staying an extra semester so i have to get this all wrapped up by december #alright im gonna shut up now. college is hard guys

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