#“.... Okay this is getting way too gloomy for a wedding day. We need to stuff ourselves with cake.”

[amtrak12]

HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢

[nastybuckybarnes]

In a Heartbeat  -  Epilogue

Pairing: Fireman!Bucky X Reader

Summary: You’ve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you don’t exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you don’t plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.

Warnings: Angst, Language, Minor Fluff

Word Count: 1.2K

A/n: Grande finale! Oof plz don’t kill me but it’s so cute I loved writing this series so much and low-key I’m sad it’s over but it was so fun to write. If y’all have any ideas for anything you want me to write in the future, send em my way!

Series Masterlist

~*~

The wind is crisp, biting at the exposed skin of his face, his fingers.

He doesn’t mind too much though.

The sky is gloomy, like it might rain later in the day. The clouds are a deep grey colour and there's sorrow on the wind. He can’t help but feel like it’s fitting.

“I uh, I’m not sure what to say, I guess. Bonnie said it would be good to come swing by for a little while but uh I’m not sure if she was right.” His voice is shaky and he closes his eyes, hating the silence that meets him.

“I got you flowers. Didn’t wanna get roses cause it didn’t feel right, so I got you some carnations. Nat said that they last a while too which is nice. They’re real pretty. A light yellow type. Maybe peach is a better description of the colour but-” he cuts himself off with a laugh, shaking his head.

“Here I am, trying to describe the colour of the flowers to you when I’m sure you’ve got other things you wanna hear about.”

Deep breath in, deep breath out, just like the two of you always practiced.

“She uh, she turns two in a few weeks, but you know that. I don’t know if I can do it though. Not without you.”

A cold drop of water splashes against his cheek and it’s only then that he notices the warm tears falling down his face.

“I miss you, doll. Every day it feels like it gets harder, and Bonnie says that’s normal, but I don’t know. I feel like it should get easier with time.” He huffs a breath and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Doesn’t help that Beccs is the spitting image of her mom, that’s for damn sure. But you knew that from the first moment you laid eyes on her. You were all smug about it too, said you gave her all the good genes.” He chuckles softly and shrugs his shoulders, “you were right about that.”

He stuffs his free hand into his pocket, rocking back on his heels and trying not to break down right then and there.

“She’s beautiful, (Y/n). Absolutely gorgeous. She’s stubborn, just like you. Real talkative too. I asked Steve when to expect this kinda stuff but he says each kid develops at a different speed.” He clenches his jaw tightly, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I miss you so fucking much. So damn much. I wish... fuck...” He stops, wiping away the tears and leaning his head back to allow the rain to clear his thoughts.

“I wish you were here. This whole ‘parenting’ gig would be a lot easier if you were here to do it with me. I feel like I can never do it right. And Beccs needs her mom. She’s got Nat, but she needs you.” He sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, doll, I swear. I just... I can't keep it in. I feel like a failure. I need your help.” His bottom lip trembles and he makes the split-second decision not to hide it. No, he opens the floodgates and he lets the tears fall.

“Her uh, her favourite word is still ‘mama’. Got her sayin’ ‘dada’ though. And she absolutely adores Tommy. That’s her partner in crime.” He chuckles once, thinking about how the two interact.

A fresh wave of sorrow washes over him and he drops his head, looking down at the ground and letting out a shaky breath.

“I uh, I still can’t sleep in our bed. Steve says I should try but... I can’t. I need you there and I can’t sleep without you. I stay on the couch most nights. Nat gets worried but I think I’m okay. Yeah... I think I’ll be okay.” He lets out another pained breath then shakes his head and falls to his knees, eyes squeezed shut tightly.

“I miss you. I fucking miss you so much. And some days it just hits me so damn hard that I’ll never see your smile o-or hear you laugh. You won't be there t-to see Becca on her wedding day... you won’t hold your grandchildren... you won’t be there when she graduates and we won’t grow old together. No, you won’t see me all gross and wrinkled and old and you won’t tease me when I can barely lift my own damn body. Fuck, I’d give anything to have you back. I would give absolutely anything to see you again. I miss you so much and it’s so hard to live without you.”

He puts his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with sobs as he finally lets himself break.

And break, he does.

He shatters there on that gloomy Thursday morning, heart out for the gods to see, to pick apart. He bears his goddamn soul and he cries. He sobs and he all but screams out his sorrows.

It’s agony.

Living without you has been the hardest thing he’s ever done.

He’d lose his arm ten times over if it meant he could see you again.

When you died you took a piece of him with you, and he knows he’ll never get it back.

“I love you, Doll. So damn much. To the fucking moon and back.”

He kneels there for a long time, long enough for the rain to come and go, the sun peeking through the clouds and the birds emerging from their hiding spots.

He kneels there until his tears have run dry and his heart has stopped aching, his shoulders lighter even if the bags under his eyes are heavier.

“Daddy!” He glances over his shoulder, a wet smile spreading on his face as Rebecca bounds over to him clumsily.

He opens his arms and she runs straight into them, giggling madly and pushing her hair out of her face.

“Do you wanna give mommy the flowers this time?” He asks, handing her the bouquet of carnations. She nods eagerly, sliding out of his grip and gently placing the flowers down in front of the headstone.

“Love you, mommy,” she says quietly, pressing a kiss to the polished granite.

A gentle hand pats Bucky on the shoulder, and he looks up at the source.

Nat stands over his shoulder, a sad smile on her face.

“You’ve been here for a while. Thought we should come check up on you.” He nods, pushing himself to his feet and taking a deep breath.

“I’m okay now. Therapist said I should really talk to her, not just... lay down the flowers.” Natasha nods, pulling the man into a hug.

“We all miss her, it’s okay.” Bucky huffs out a breath, trying to fight the tears but they fall anyway.

“I want one too!” Rebecca exclaims, tugging on his pant leg. He chuckles and pulls away from Nat to pick up his daughter, holding her tightly to his chest and trying with all his might to keep it together, if only for her.

“C’mon. Let’s go get ice cream. My treat,” Nat says, ruffling Becca’s hair then leading the way to her car.

Bucky follows after, pausing for a moment and glancing over his shoulder, eyes tracing over the writing carved into the stone.

(Y/n) (Y/m/n) Barnes.

Beloved Mother, Daughter, Wife, and Friend.

Always on our minds.

Forever in our hearts.

~*~

Fin

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[frzntrx]

(A/N: I wanted to write a story where Hans wants revenge on Elsa for ruining his plot to get a throne, so he teams up with a wizard who’s actually a coward and Hans intimidates him, so he gets him to banish her to irl New York City, and Hans is like she’ll never survive! But she actually somewhat likes it there after she meets Loki? But instead of Prince Edward Anna goes to find her with Kristoff. Giselle from Enchanted literally inspired this story, and this is a small bit from it… he’s dating Wanda at this point because I know some people who ship them.)

Loki: Elsa… both of us have really busy schedules and I- (sighs) it’s complicated okay?

Elsa(confused): it doesn’t have to be though not if she knows!

Loki(chuckles): knows what?

Elsa: I mean I don’t know much about love… but I’ve seen it with my sister…(singing) how does she know you love her…? How does she know she’s yours?

Loki: no no no no no it’s fine don’t sing I get it, people are staring though sweetheart let’s go let’s walk… can we walk?

Elsa(confused): well does she?

(Loki rolls his eyes)

Loki: yes yes let’s go

(Then they hear steel drums guy in Central Park because the MCU is in nyc mostly so why not)

Steel drums guy: how does she know that you love her?

(Elsa gasps and giggles with glee rushing up to him and starts dancing along)

Loki: wait HE KNOWS THE SONG TOO?!?!?

Elsa(joining in): how do you show her you love her?

Steel drums guy: how does she know that you really really

Elsa: truly

Both: love her?

Loki(exasperated): I’ve never even heard this song?!? (Gets annoyed and starts to drag her off as they continue singing) Right nice work okay let’s go! Good job sweetie

Elsa: it’s not enough to take who you love for granted! You must remind her or she’ll just have to say… how do I know he loves me? (Twirls, arms to the sky) How do I know he’s mine?

(She flits away and Comes across a lady with her baby girl, she’s opening up a lunchbox and she takes out a tiny paper note from inside and smiles sweetly as she reads the note)

Elsa:does he leave a little note to tell you that you’re on his mind?

(Goes up to an elderly couple and presses a daffodil into the old man’s hand)

Elsa: give you yellow flowers when the sky’s gloomy and grey? Heyyy

(The old man smiles sweetly as he gives his wife the daffodil who is stunned)

Elsa: he’ll find new ways to show you a little bit every day! (A guy performing as Eric in a show of the little mermaid nearby twirls her and dips her, and she giggles) that’s how you know… That’s how you know he’s your love!

(Loki sighs as she stands back up and skips to him)

Elsa: see?

Loki(sarcastic): oh I definitely see all right? Let’s get out of here…

(They pass an ad for the Bridgerton Ball and she gasps)

Elsa: a BALL?!?

Loki(groans): yes.

Elsa(giggles): that sounds like FUN!!! (And he has to drag her away from it)

Loki: no no trust me I grew up with stuff like that it’s NOT fun not by any means. Nope. That would NOT be fun.

(A literal marching band shows up and the steel drums guy is back, and she skips down the path not really having anywhere she needs to go)

Steel drums guy and the marching band: you’ve got to show that you need her!

Loki(looking around confused): what the hel is going on here?!?

Steel drums guy: don’t treat her like a mind reader!

Band: each day do something

Steel drums guy and band: to lead her to believe you love her! (She giggles and twirls to the music,then continues skipping and comes across a wedding in the park and smiles dreamily)

Elsa: everybody wants to live happily ever after! Everybody wants to know their true love is true!(She walks up to the bride and groom and gives them a pin from her hair that’s an emerald heart, and the bride gasps)

Bride: (to her groom)THAT’S what I forgot Jared! Something borrowed! (To Elsa) Thank you!

Elsa(giggles): keep it! As a wedding present from one girl to another! (Skips off to join the band and steel drums guy again, despite how annoyed he is about the random flash mob she’s accidentally created, his heart melts when she gives the young lady the hair pin)

Elsa(singing again): how do you know he loves you? How do you know he’s yours?!?

(She sees a couple teenagers, and somehow she knows that even though they’re just friends, they both want to be more and are afraid to ruin it)

Elsa(to the teenage girl dancing along with the guy):well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close? (The teenagers blush shyly, and the guy slides his hand to touch the girl’s hand)

Loki(protesting): I don’t dance! (Stomps foot frustratedly, trying to her her to listen to him)

Elsa: dedicate a song with words meant just for you?

Loki(rolls his eyes, blushing): and I really don’t sing

Elsa: he’ll find his own way to tell you with the little things he’ll do!

Bride and old lady: that’s how you know

All(except Loki obviously): that’s how you know!

Elsa: he’s your true love!

(Anna hears Elsa in the distance but can’t find her)

Anna: Elsa!!! Come on big sis you gotta help me find you!!! (Singing) for the first time in foreverrrr you don’t have to be afraid! We can-

(Almost gets knocked over by a speedy bike passing by)

Bike guy: HEY!!! you’re in the way princess!!!

Anna:(furious at how rude he is) EXCUSE ME JERKWAD I AM A QUEEN!!! (Muttering as she brushes the dirt off herself) if you’re gonna insult me at least get my title right.

(Back to Elsa and the dance mob with Loki)

(Elsa starts singing and like 5-6 white doves fly up to her, and she gives them a bouquet of wildflowers)

Elsa: please bring these to Wanda Maximoff (and the birds fly away carrying the bouquet together and Loki rolls his eyes in annoyance and disbelief)

Loki(irritated): Elsa hon they’re birds they don’t know where she lives and they can’t read?!? You think they can read maps or something?!? (Then she giggles and runs off to join the crowd singing and dancing and his phone rings

Loki: oh hey Wanda you won’t believe the day I’m having… oh… oh so you got the flowers…? (Eyes wide in disbelief) oh good… you’re welcome. I gotta go… babysitting. See you tonight? (And he hangs up and is just watching her with Disbelief)

Elsa: that’s how you know he loves you!!! That’s how you know it’s true!!! (Twirls) because he’ll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes(A street performer guy picks her up and flips her and she laughs with glee and Loki looks on longingly, kinda jealous) plan a private picnic under the moonlight glow!!! Ohhh

All: his heart will be yours forever- something every day will show!

That’s how you know! That’s how you know!!!

(The dancer guy gets his buddies to pick her up by her arms and twirl her around and she giggles)

That’s how you know! THAT’S how you know!

(They set her down and she twirls happily swishing her skirt)

Elsa: he’s your love!!!

Steel drums guy: that’s how she knows that you love her! That’s how you show that you love her!

Elsa(giggling, taking Loki’s hand in hers and squeezing it as she looks up at him with hope): that’s how you know! (Loki’s eyes soften, something is growing in his heart, as he watches her have fun and be kind to total strangers)

Steel drums guy: you’ve got to show that you need her! Don’t treat her like a mind reader!!!

Elsa: that’s how you know! He’s your love!!!!

(Song abruptly ends and she’s scooped up by a really tall circus performer and she’s sitting on his shoulders)

All(shouted excitedly): YEAH!!!

(And everybody is laughing and chattering amongst themselves about how sweet Elsa is Loki shakes it off and rolls his eyes)

Loki: alright snow queen we gotta go find your sister come on now! (Yanks her off screen because she was taken by surprise because she was staring dreamily at the happy couples she helped)

[eminems-skittles]

wedding bells [spencer reid x reader]

spencer reid x fem!reader part three of family game night and lazy days warnings: none word count: 3.5k

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"Oh, Y/N! You look absolutely stunning!" Emily cooed when she saw Y/N in the white dress she was trying on. It was a slim dress with lace details on the ends of the sleeves. It didn't have a puffy skirt and it fit Y/N perfectly.

"Like a goddess sent to Earth," Penelope said in awe when Y/N did a small spin. Y/N walked in front of the mirror, her eyes scanning the dress. She let out a sigh of disappointment, Penelope's smiling face faltered. "What's wrong, sweet cheeks?"

"I really wanted this dress to be the one," Y/N sighed. She smoothed the dress down with her hands. She loved the dress but something in her told her it wasn't the one for her. Y/N bit her lip in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. She didn't even know why she was so upset about this. It was just a dumb dress. "I don't know if it is."

"Well, that's okay, Y/N/N," JJ said, coming over to stand next to Y/N. She rested a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. "There's so many dresses you still can try on. It's alright if this isn't the one."

"You're right. You're right," Y/N said as she leaned against her best friend. "I'm just so stressed about this whole thing. The wedding is only two months away and I'm just now getting a dress."

"I know, sweetie," JJ cooed. "But luckily you have most of the planning done and can just relax after this. And you have a kick-ass bridal party who will do anything and everything to make sure the day goes smoothly."

Emily and Penelope walked over to Y/N and JJ, joining them in front of the mirror. Emily gently grabbed Y/N's hand, squeezing it. "Y/N/N, it's all going to be okay."

Suddenly, Penelope gasped before running over to a dress that was hanging on a rack next to the mirror. She grabbed the dress, which Y/N had still not seen clearly, before thrusting it into Y/N's arms. "Oh! You have to try this one on! Look how gorgeous it is."

Y/N peered down at the dress and felt a tingle in her heart. She quickly excused herself from her bridesmaids before hurrying into her reserved dressing room. As quickly as she could, with the help of one of the saleswomen, she changed out of the first dress and into the one Penelope had handed her.

"Wow, sweetie, you look absolutely stunning," The saleswoman said when she finished helping Y/N.

"Thank you," Y/N said, taking a deep breath. She turned around and looked in the mirror for the first time. Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked at herself in the gorgeous dress. It was a long dress with a skirt that had small lace flowers on it. The sleeves were made of sheer tulle and stopped just above her elbows.The wait line had a white ribbon as a belt and the chest was decorated the same way the skirt was.

She stepped out of the dressing room and walked into the small sitting room where Penelope, JJ, and Emily were chatting. They were silenced by the subtle click-clack of the shoes Y/N was wearing. When their eyes fell upon the soon-to-be bride, gasps left each of their mouths.

"You're stunning!"

"This is the one!"

"You look amazing!" They all complimented at once.

"Do you like it?" JJ questioned.

"I love it," Y/N said through a watery smile. "This is it. This is the one."

T W O W E E K S B E F O R E T H E W E D D I N G

"Okay so if we put him here and my mom over here, then we should be okay," Y/N mumbled, moving around a small paper with her mom's name on it. The wedding was in two weeks and she was just now getting to the seating chart. It wasn't like she was putting off finishing the planning, but when a serial killer is on the loose, a seating chart is the least of her worries. "Ugh but wait, he can't sit next to him otherwise there will be fighting."

"How's it going darling?" Spencer asked, setting down a cup of coffee and pressing a kiss to Y/N's cheek. She hummed when he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I don't know. There's too many people who have tension. And a few people are bringing dates but I don't think we'll have enough seats unless we want to extend the seating area. But then some people will be outside and there's always the possibility of rain since it's Oregon in October," Y/N said without taking a breath. "I don't know what to do."

"Hey, hey, take a deep breath," Spencer said, as he moved to stand in front of her. "We will figure it out, my love. There's no need to stress."

Spencer helped Y/N stand up before taking a seat in the chair she was previously occupying. He pulled her into his lap and held her tight. Y/N sighed, leaning against his chest. "There's just no way it will all work. Ew, what's that smell?"

"The coffee?" Spencer asked, confused. Y/N nodded, before pushing the coffee as far from her as she could. Spencer grabbed it, sniffing the coffee before setting it back down on the table. "What's wrong with the coffee?"

"I don't know the smell is just bothering me," the same tone of confusion in her voice.

"Hm, okay," Spencer said, brushing off her strange behavior. He readjusted the two of them so he could look at the seating chart. "Let's see... What if instead of the two of us sitting at the front by ourselves, we have the whole bridal party sit in the front with us? The venue said that that was an option and it wouldn't cost more to add it."

"I forgot about that option," Y/N said, mumbling.

"See, it's not hopeless," Spencer said, hugging her closer to him. "So if we just move these guys up here, that opens up a whole table. Now we don't have to worry about anyone getting rained on. I'll call the planner first thing tomorrow to let her know we want it changed."

"What would I do without you?" Y/N said, leaning up to kiss Spencer's cheek. She looked back down at her left hand, her shiny ruby engagement ring catching her eye. "Two more weeks, and I'll be Mrs. Spencer Reid."

"I can't wait," Spencer said, interlocking his hand with hers. "How busy are we going to be in the next couple weeks?"

"Well," Y/N pulled out her phone to check her calendar. Luckily, Hotch gave the two of them the two weeks before the wedding off so they didn't have to worry about being on the other side of the country when they had to finalize details for the biggest day of their lives. "Tomorrow I have the final fitting for my dress and then we leave for Oregon the day after and meet with the DJ the day after. Explore Oregon Monday and Tuesday. Then the team and our families should all be flying in that night. JJ is picking my dress up before they go to the airport. Rehearsal dinner and final preparations on Friday, so that gives us a few days with everyone before the chaos begins. Saturday is the wedding and then Sunday, we have brunch with everyone. And on Monday we leave for the honeymoon."

"Wow...I don't think I've ever been busier," Spencer laughed. He pressed a kiss to the top of Y/N's head as she snuggled closer to him.

T H E N E X T D A Y

"Alright, Miss Y/L/N, we're going to have you try the dress on one last time to make sure it fits." The saleswoman, Allison, from the fitting said. "So when's the big day?"

"Next Saturday," Y/N said smiling, as she put the dress on.

"Aww how sweet," Allison replied. "How does the dress fit?"

"It fits really well, except for like right here," Y/N said, motioning across her stomach. "It's just a little bit tight."

"Oh, well that's an easy fix! I probably just wrote down the wrong number when I measured with you. Let me just get the correct measurements," Allison said, pulling out a pink measuring tape. She pulled the measuring tape around Y/N's midsection. "Oh that's the issue. I wrote down a four where a nine should be. Sorry about that, sweetie!"

"Oh, it's no problem!" Y/N said, flashing a small smile at Allison. "So will the dress be ready by next Tuesday?"

"Yep! Like I said, it's an easy fix," Allison beamed.

F O U R D A Y S B E F O R E T H E W E D D I N G

"Y/N!" JJ said, engulfing her in a hug. Everyone had just arrived at the small inn where the wedding is going to take place. "How are you doing?"

"A little nervous, but excited," Y/N said. She looked around the room to see where Spencer was. He was animatedly talking to Rossi about some unknown subject. If she had to guess, they were probably talking about the architecture of the cute inn, since Spencer kept gesturing to the ceiling and stairs in the small sitting room. She lowered her voice and leaned closer. "Hey, Jayje. I need your help with something."

"What is it? Everything okay?" JJ asked, concerned.

"Yeah, everything is great. I was just wondering if you could run to the store with me to grab something. I realized I left some stuff at home that I need for this weekend." Y/N explained.

"Oh, yeah of course! We can go right now if you want?"

"The sooner the better," Y/N laughed. "Oh, one more thing. Throughout the day, can you secretly switch out the champagne for sparkling cider?"

"Uh, sure," JJ said, confused. "Why?"

"Just want to make sure I remember the whole day, you know?"

T H E D A Y O F T H E W E D D I N G

JJ, Emily, Penelope and Y/N were currently gathered in the bridal suite of the inn. Like Y/N predicted two weeks prior, it was raining. Not that she minded, the orange leaves on the trees stood out against the dark gloomy sky. She'd be lying if she said this wasn't how she pictured her wedding day. The rain was softly tapping against the glass as the four of them got ready for the big day ahead of them.

Like they had discussed, JJ had managed to sneakily switch out Y/N's champagne for a glass of sparkling apple cider and no one had noticed.

"So, Y/N, are you and Spencer gonna," Emily paused, wiggling her eyebrows, "seal the deal."

"Oh come one, Em! Grow up," JJ giggled from across the room where she was getting her makeup done.

"We all know that they have hot and steamy-" Penelope was cut off by a sock being thrown at her.

"Hey! That's enough," Y/N all but shouted as a blush settled across her face.

"What? It's just a fact," Penelope giggled.

"Whatever, let's just continue getting ready, shall we?" Y/N said, taking a big sip of her apple cider.

After a few hours of getting ready and taking pictures it was finally time for the ceremony to begin. The ballroom where the ceremony was being held was decorated perfectly. Warm lights lined the walls and small details of orange lined the seats and the altar. White and orange pumpkins lined the aisle, along with small candles in glass lanterns. The room had a wall entirely made of glass and the orange of the trees brightened the orange details in the ballroom. Rain still tapped lightly on the glass and on the ceiling, but it the most serene way.

"Oh wow, this is something straight out of a fairytale," Derek muttered when he and Spencer walked inside.

"I know," Spencer breathed out, a large smile on his face. "I can't wait to see her."

"I know, pretty boy," Morgan said, laughing. That was easily the millionth time since the night before that Spencer had told him. "I have super secret intel from a certain tech analyst that says your soon to be wife looks breathtaking."

"She always looks breathtaking, Derek," Spencer said. "Have you, uh, have you noticed her acting weird?"

"What do you mean?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow at Spencer.

"I don't know, never mind," Spencer stammered.

"Mr. Reid, we're starting now," One of the ushers told him.

In a whirlwind of flowers, fabric, and faces, everyone hurried to their places as they awaited the beginning of the ceremony. Y/N's little cousins led the way down the aisle, tossing dried white rose petals at peoples feet. Spencer went out next, taking his spot at the altar. Next down the aisle were Emily and Penelope, who waved enthusiastically at Rossi and Hotch. Their orange and red dresses flowed elegantly behind them as they marched to their place. Following the two, Derek, Spencer's best man, and JJ, Y/N's maid of honor, walked down the aisle their arms linked together. JJ's soft orange jumpsuit fit her perfectly and matched the orange tie that Derek was wearing. Everyone held their breath as they anticipated Y/N's arrival.

Music swelled as the doors opened, revealing Y/N in her gorgeous dress. Her hair was pulled into a half up half down bun that was adorned with small gold butterfly clips. She wore a gold necklace that Spencer had given her for an anniversary and several gold bangle bracelets.

As soon as Spencer saw her, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over. His heart burst at the sight and for a second he forgot that she was human. He always believed she was a goddess from the heavens above but now he was sure of it. There was no way any other human being could ever rival her beauty. As soon as she got to the altar (Spencer could have swore she floated down the aisle), Spencer pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek and took her hands. "You look so very beautiful, angel."

"You look very handsome, as well, my love," Y/N beamed. And he did. He was wearing a simple black suit with a flower on his lapel that matched the dark red roses Y/N had handed off to JJ. His hair was short yet still held the same fluffiness that it always had. When she looked in his eyes, he was the only person in the room, in the world, who mattered.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of these two beautiful souls," The officiant began. Y/N barely paid attention as her attention was on the groom in front of her. "Y/N, did you prepare your vows?"

"I did," Y/N replied. She kept her gaze on Spencer as her grip on his hands tightened. "Spencer, you have been my rock, my love, and my best friend for more years than I can count on one hand. I knew from our first date that you would be the person I spent the rest of my life with. I think we both knew then that we would end up here. On our fourth date, I mentioned you proposing and you weren't scared off or upset. You wanted to talk about it as much as I did. I knew then that you were in this relationship for the long haul. I promise to love you like you have loved me for the rest of my life. I promise to care for you on your good days and your bad days. Spencer Reid, I love you with my whole being, forever and always."

Spencer removed his hand from Y/N's grasp to wipe away fallen tears. The officiant turned to Spencer, "Have you prepared your vows?"

"I have," Spencer said nodding, before turning his attention back to the beautiful bride in front of him. "Y/F/N, you are the light of my day, of my life, if I'm being honest. You're the only person who can manage to turn a terrible day into an exceedingly amazing day. You are my one true love and I have never doubted for a second that you wouldn't be. I want to spend every second of my day with you for the rest of my life. I want to take care of you on your good days, and especially your bad days. I want to raise a family and grow old with you. I want to love you for the rest of my life. I love you forever and always, Y/F/N."

"That was very beautiful," The officiant remarked. "Do you, Y/F/N, take Spencer Reid as your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"Hell yeah, I do," Y/N said, earning a few laughs from the bridal party. Spencer beamed at her, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Do you, Spencer Reid, take Y/F/N as your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do," Spencer said, squeezing Y/N's hands in his.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Oregon, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," The officiant said. As if his life depended on it, Spencer cupped Y/N's face with his hand and smashed his lips onto hers. Their tears mixed together as they kissed for what felt like an eternity. When they broke apart, their foreheads resting on each other, they were greeted with applause and cheers from their family and friends. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Doctor and Mrs. Spencer Reid!"

"We're married," Y/N whispered against Spencer's lips before he kissed her again.

"That we are, Mrs. Reid," He said after breaking away from the kiss.

T H E R E C E P T I O N

Everyone stared in awe at the gorgeous decorations in the ballroom. After the ceremony ended, the ballroom was quickly converted to have a dance floor surrounded by several round tables. Warm yellow string lights hung from various spots on the ceiling. The tables were decorated with small pumpkins and white candles. Spencer and Y/N were currently talking to their teammates as people were slowly filing into the reception.

"Y/N, you look amazing, caro," Rossi said, hugging Y/N. "Congratulations, you two. The ceremony was so beautiful."

"He cried," JJ said as she was walking by with Will.

"I did not," Rossi said, earning a playful glare from Y/N. "Okay, fine, maybe I did."

"I cried too," Penelope said, wiping her nose. She was, in fact, still crying.

"We know, babygirl, we know," Derek said laughing.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Rossi said, raising his glass. He turned to where Y/N and Spencer were standing. Y/N had her back against Spencer's chest and Spencer had wrapped his arms around Y/N's midsection. They were both holding glasses filled with champagne, or so Spencer thought. "To the newly weds. May life bring you happiness and fortune."

"And to becoming a badass married couple who takes down serial killers," Emily said, laughing loudly.

"Cheers!" All of them said at once.

After everyone had begun eating, it was time for Spencer and Y/N's first dance.

"Everyone may I have you attention," the DJ's voice filled the room. "I'd like you all to help me welcome the couple of the evening, Spencer and Y/N, onto the dance floor for their first dance."

Their friends and family started clapping and cheering as Spencer and Y/N walked to the center of the floor. 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Frank Sinatra played through the speakers. Spencer placed a hand on Y/N's waist and took her hand in his other hand and Y/N looped her free arm around his neck.

"I can't believe we're married," Spencer said, looking in her eyes as he twirled them across the dance floor.

"Me neither," Y/N said, smiling back at him. "I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together."

"Me too, my love," Spencer laughed softly before kissing her cheek.

Y/N pecked his lips before laying her head on his shoulder, letting him know she just wanted to stay in one spot. They swayed to the song, quietly conversing.

"Spence?" Y/N questioned, her breath tickling his neck.

"Yes, my love?" Spencer replied.

"I'm pregnant."

[of-stars-and-moon]

Babysitting Harry

Read on Ao3 Continuation of this fic

Another Remus Lupin birthday post lol 😄 Thanks to @captofthesswolfstar for letting me use her 'Remus loves you're my sunshine' headcanon for this

----

"He is asleep," Sirius said, smiling fondly at Harry sleeping soundly in his crib.

Besides him, Remus hummed in agreement. "This babysitting stuff has been quiet easy so far," he said as they walked back to the living room and sat down on the sofa.

"Yeah, Prongs and Lily didn't need to be so worried about this." 

Today was James and Lily's wedding anniversary, so Sirius and Remus had suggested the married couple to take a day off to relax— God knows they all needed that during this horrible war— and had offered to babysit Harry for them.

Remus tipped his head back and and winced, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"You okay?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. "Yeah... Just a bad mission." 

"The mission you won't say anything about?" 

Remus let out a sigh. "Can we not argue about this when we're babysitting Harry?" 

"I'm not arguing," Sirius defended. He turned to face Remus completely and brought up his hand to cup the side of Remus' neck. "I just miss you... You're always away on these missions and you're gone for so long."

Remus' expressions softened and he closed the gap between them, kissing Sirius deeply. "I miss you too," he said as he pulled back. "It kills me to be away from you for so long... But I don't want to ruin the moments we get together arguing about that."

"You're right." Sirius nodded and pulled Remus in another kiss. Then, with a mischievous smile, added, "Harry is probably gonna sleep for a while, we shouldn't waste this time, now should we?" 

Remus let out a breathless chuckle as Sirius began kissing his jaw and down his neck. "Sirius, we're supposed to be watching Harry," he protested weakly, but still leaned his head back.

"Who is sleeping—" Sirius retorted, "—And is not gonna disturbed us." He moved his face and his lips hovered over Remus', as his fingers began unbuttoning Remus' shirt. 

Remus' parted lips had just touched his in a zealous kiss, when Harry started crying in the other room and startled them. 

"You were saying?" Remus said with a laugh as he got up and started buttoning his shirt again. "You get Harry, I'll get his milk bottle?" 

Sirius nodded and went to Harry's room, picking him up in his arms. "Hey, look who woke up!"

Harry started screaming, and squirming in his arms and Sirius felt panicked. 'Why wasn't he calming down? What if he was sick? Had Sirius accidentally hurt him while picking him up?' 

As Remus entered the room with the bottle of milk, Sirius said, "He won't stop crying! What the fuck do I do?"

"Maybe he is hungry?" Remus offered, bringing the bottle to Harry's mouth, who slapped it away and started screaming even louder. 

"What is fucking wrong with him?" Sirius asked desperately.

"I don't know!" Remus said helplessly. 

"What if he's looking for James and Lily? Fuck! I should've never suggested babysitting him. I'm a failure at this." 

Placing the bottle on a table, Remus reached out. "Can I try holding him?" 

Sirius nodded and gingerly gave him Harry, whose face was red from crying. 

Remus held Harry against his chest and started swaying him slowly. He softly sung the song 'You're my sunshine' and after a while, Harry stopped crying, what were till now shrieking sobs turned into hiccups. 

Sirius stared in awe at how swiftly Remus calmed him. As he watched Remus feeding Harry milk, he realized with a yearning heart that he wanted 'this'. He wanted a family with Remus. 

It was probably a foolish thing to hope for in the middle of the war, when the future was uncertain and dark, when any mission could be their last, when Remus was always away for months. 

But Sirius wanted this and maybe, just maybe, they could have this one day. And for now, the hope was enough.

Remus held Harry back to Sirius, who took him nervously, scared that he'd start crying again. But thank Merlin, he didn't, instead he snuggled close to Sirius' chest. Sirius let out a breath and cradled Harry carefully stroking his soft wisps of hair. "How did you do that so easily?" 

Remus shrugged. "Kids calm down when you sing."

"And how do you know that?" 

He gave another shrug. "My mum said that's how I was when I was a child. She used to sing to me a lot." 

"Oh, That's nice." Sirius smiled.

"You probably shouldn't have cursed in front of him. His first word is now going to be fuc- Oh shit! I swore in front of him too!"

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing too loudly and startling Harry. "Come on, Moons. We all know whose fault it is if the first thing Harry says is a curse word." 

Remus lightly punched his arm. "Shut up, you git." Then, with a fond look on his face, brushed Sirius' hair away from his forehead. "Looks like Harry is feeling sleepy again." 

Sirius glanced down at Harry, who's eyes indeed looked heavy with sleep.

Remus leaned down and placed a kiss on Harry's forehead, before brushing a soft one on the corner of Sirius' lips.

Smiling, Sirius turned his face to capture Remus' lips in a proper kiss, bringing his free hand to cup the back of Remus' neck.

After sometime he broke the kiss with a low, "Ow!" as Harry pulled his hair— probably to get his attention back.

"We shouldn't be snogging while you're putting your godson to sleep," Remus said chuckling softly.

"Yeah, we'll have plenty of time when he is finally asleep again." Sirius smirked.

Later, they stood at the door, watching Harry sleeping peacefully once again. 

"We did okay at this babysitting stuff," Remus mused. 

"Yeah, we actually did. And it was really nice," Sirius said, then after a pause, added more quietly, "James and Lily are lucky to have such a cute baby." 

Remus nodded, interlocking their fingers. "Yeah, they are." 

Sirius turned his head to face him. 'Will we ever get this lucky?' he wanted to ask, but he realized he couldn't bring himself to speak because of the way Remus was looking at him so tenderly, like he had found something precious. 

And Sirius realized that he had everything he wanted at this moment, right here. And he couldn't get any luckier than this. He was content. 

And for the first time in a long time, he felt hope. The future felt less gloomy.

Next Part

[uweiy]

Thank you for sending it in !

94. "I want you. All of you. And not just half heartedly, wholly. And maybe that's selfish but I don't care."

"Thanks for the tea. I shall see myself out"

Jiang Cheng stands up from the pillow he was, admittedly slouched on.

It's already night time, and raindrops are drumming against the windows of the Hanshi continuously.

"Sect Leader Jiang, you're going to catch a cold if you go out like this."

"Phah. What's a little rainwater compared to drenching oneself in Yunmeng's lakes."

Xichen chuckles and hands him an umbrella. "Even you are not immune to illness, oh so great Sect Leader Jiang."

Jiang Cheng opens it as he steps on the porch. The rain really is pouring. He feels a hand softly settle on his elbow.

"You're leaving tomorrow, If I'm not mistaken ?" the other asks, but Jiang Cheng hears the unspoken question.

"I'll drop by before we leave. My useless nephew is thrilled to spend time with his friends so we'll probably be leaving in the afternoon. Plus," he adds "I have to bring this back to you" he raises his eyes to the umbrella.

"I see. It will be my pleasure." Xichen smiles a little.

He drops his arm and Jiang Cheng turns to face him fully. For a moment, Jiang Cheng debates whether to kiss him good night or not.

He doesn't know if Xichen notices his intention, but the other seems to draw closer, before he retreats swiftly into his chamber. "Good night Sect leader Jiang."

Okay then.

"See you around"

___

Between Sect meetings, Jin ling wanting to spend time with Shizui, Shizui wanting to spend time with Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng finds himself around Xichen a LOT. They talk even more, If you count their numerous written exchanges.

Even now, he's sitting at his father's desk, his family's residence almost empty save for the domestics and he's, like ever so often writing Xichen a letter.

" ....As for the matter you asked me to look into... I have taken care of it.

Once the official business is out of the way, Jiang Cheng answers the more personal questions.

It's rain season here too and it tones out the bustle of the streets a little. It almost feels like it can wash away the atrocities of the past doesn't it ?

But I can still see them. Sometimes I come across marks the Wens have left during their stay here and it makes me want to burn the whole place to the ground and rebuild it anew.

The palace is empty, and yet it feels suffocating.

This was too gloomy an answer to "how are you doing". But he didn't have it in him to lie anymore, to himself, or to Xichen.

I really don't understand what you find so fascinating about me.

"You're fascinating." Xichen had said to him once

At least the food is still better than in your cloud recess. I SWEAR If there is another rule added on that goddamn wall about restricting SPICE I won't visit you with Jin Ling anymore.

That's a lie. For one, Jin Ling does not need him to go to cloud recess but it gives Jiang Cheng a good reason to go. Secondly even if a thousand rules were added he'd still drop by.

He wants to drop by sometime in the coming months by the way.

Jiang Cheng writes, because it's a question Xichen never fails to ask

How's your painting coming along ?

Don't forget to eat or I'll really find someone to watch over you. And since there are no nannies available, you'd have to deal with my brother or that Jingyi kid eight hours a day.

Look at the rain and think of me, as I do of you.

love you

Xichen wrote stuff like that too sometimes. But when it came from Jiang Cheng, he mostly deflected.

Jiang Cheng had once tried writing about how he felt calmer when Xichen was around, if he recalled correctly and it really hadn't been easy for him.

Xichen had simply replied something along the lines of "oh yeah, the weather in cloud recess does wonders for the mind". The weather.

Jiang Cheng doesn't want to be ignored if he asks the questions burning in his mind. "what exactly is it that you want from me ?" "who am I to you ?"

(You know who this is but still, I'll sign)

Jiang Cheng

He writes instead.

Despite that, He wishes there was a way he could recieve the answers to his letters immediately. Xichen's replies are often insightful but... well, they answer to a state of mind he's had days, weeks ago when he receives them.

If they could talk in person, that would be nice, too.

___

The next time he goes to Gusu it's spring. He's accompanying Xichen outside on one of the rare occasions he leaves the Hanshi.

Their brothers' wedding is right around the corner so they get talking about that topic.

"it is customary to end the ceremony with a dance. It looks like this– "

Xichen takes Jiang Chengs's hand in his. He takes one step backwards, and Jiang Cheng follows, led by the gentle pressure of his hand.

He exectues the next steps quite poorly, but Xichen doesn't seem to mind. Then Xichen detaches from him, light as a feather, his arm loosely stretched towards where their fingertips were touching a minute ago.

He executes graceful bows on his own, his blue clothes moving along like air, before he captures Jiang Cheng's hand again and draws him nearer.

Their foreheads are almost touching. Xichen looks directly at him with that clear gaze of his and Jiang Cheng feels completely exposed.

"What about you ?" Jiang Cheng chokes out "You probably have a lot of candidates right under your nose–" he tries

"Sect leader Jiang."Xichen cuts in. He smiles sweetly but it doesn't reach his eyes "I don't think I'd be suitable for anyone. Please excuse me"

It's always like this. Everytime he thinks they might finally, finally do something about the tension between them, Xichen weasels his way out, slipping through Jiang Cheng's fingers like water.

Not this time.

He catches Xichen's wrist as the other already strides away from him.

It's not like he doesn't understand putting his trust in the wrong people, and then protecting whatever is left of your heart by any means possible. Jiang Cheng chose anger, Xichen chose avoidance. But Jiang Cheng isn't "wrong people". Well, he hopes he isn't, this time.

"Okay listen. You want me to stay but push me away when I get too close. I write a sincere letter and you answer about the WEATHER. We only talk about business once in a blue moon and yet you call me Sect Leader Jiang. " He almost shrieks.

He knows he's pushing but he's tired or half saids and empty hopes. He's had enough of these for one liftime.

"I know you look at me when you think I can't see you. You're hurting and you think you have to deal with your pain and...and hopelessness alone but you don't."

Maybe Jiang Cheng should have stopped trying to be more than friends ages ago. Maybe Xichen just enjoys the comforting presence. But then he seems to want more and then again he doesn't and it drives Jiang Cheng crazy.

But he can't be SURE so the only thing he can do is lay his own heart on the table and have Xichen decide what to do with it, once and for all.

"I want you. All of you. And not just half heartedly, wholly. And maybe that's selfish but I can't help it."

He probably should give Xichen another option. Tell him " I understand. We can remain friends, take the time you need to heal your scars." But he doesn't want to. He knows he can shoulder them too, if Xichen lets him.

"If my words aren't clear enough i'll rephrase. I love you. I love you. I lo-"

"Please stop" Xichen catches hold of the folds in Jiang Cheng's clothes.

His voice is hoarse, barely a whisper and he sounds so broken. "I don't deserve it."

"Tell me you don't feel the same and I'll stop bothering you."

Xichen just stares at him.

"Say it !"

" I can't ! " He's still clutching Jiang Cheng desperately. His head thuds against Jiang Cheng's chest, and he starts sobbing, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Jiang Cheng lets him, holding him there.

When Xichen finally calms down he answers without looking up "I can't say it because it's not true. I am just, terribly, terribly afraid. My apologies."

Relief floods over Jiang Cheng. He forgets to breathe.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I promise"

___

Not much changes afterwards. Neither of them magically get better. Jiang Cheng still has his own thoughts sect to manage, they still write each other letters and he still visits Lan Xichen in seclusion. Some days are better than others though, and they help each other through the bad ones.

"Thanks for the tea" Jiang Cheng says. It's one of their rituals when he visits the Hanshi now.

Xichen–sprawled against him reading a book–doesn't budge.

"Move. I have to go" he nudges Xichen with his shoulder, since he can't use his arms too busy holding them both upright.

"You're mean Sect leader Jiang."

Jiang Cheng shoves him off this time.

"Fine Fine." Xichen lets himself roll on the floor before he gets up and helps Jiang Cheng to his feet. Jiang Cheng still can't feel his arms.

He steps out on the porch. It's a clear night and the crescent of the moon shines among the stars. He turns his head to bid Xichen good night.

He barely has time to register what's happening when two hands grab him by the collar and suddenly Xichen kisses him. Xichen kisses him and it's everything and more than Jiang Cheng has ever dared to dream of.

"Good night Wanyin" Xichen smiles when they part, a bit breathless.

"See you around" Jiang Cheng smiles too.

They'll be alright.

A.N : maybe you were expecting fluff but ... Oh well lmao

It was Soo hard to write ?? Like I had the core down pretty Soon but I kept changing stuff.

I wanted to make it clear that Xichen kinda wanted that too, and not just a friend but ugh it wasn't easy

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Soos and His Girl

For @legendary-defender-of-fandoms. I hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~

Soos looked down at his can of Pitt soda kinda gloomy like. He should be really happy right now, and generally he was, but he was also… he couldn’t pinpoint it.

Abuelita was happy in the armchair in front of the TV. She liked the “dusty, dirty” shack that needed a “lady’s touch”, so during the day she kept busy vacuuming everything and tidying up the house, and at night she enjoyed the additional channels Mr. Pines was willing to pay for so he wasn’t stuck with Gravity Falls public-access TV. She was enjoying her afternoon cup of coffee in front of the TV right now, in fact, and Soos should probably go join her, but he was trying to finish an idea for tomorrow’s tours in the gift shop, but his inspiration was gone and the rainy day didn’t help his mood improve.

Soos drained the rest of his can of soda in one gulp and adjusted his tie. He smiled down at his suit-covered body and could feel himself straighten up with pride. Still, he was… lonely. Yeah, that was it. Mr. Pines and Dr. Pines left two days ago, and from what Soos could tell they were both super happy, and Dipper and Mabel were back home in California now. Wendy still hung around some, but school had just started back and classes were kinda busy right now, so it would be a few weeks until things cooled down and even then she wouldn’t be working as much as she did over the summer (which, let’s be honest, it’s not like she worked much to begin with).

While Soos was beyond happy to be running the Mystery Shack, to have his lifelong dream come true, the old cabin was now way too quiet and way too empty. Maybe once tourists came back and the money started to roll in and business kept him busy, he’d be okay. Still, as of today, Soos was just a little sad and lonely, and that was okay.

The gift shop was open, so Soos shouldn’t have been surprised when the door opened with a chime. He looked up and was way more surprised to find a pretty girl with light-brown hair tied back with a scrunchie and a purple rain-jacket standing in his shop. “Hi, Soos!”

“Melody!” Soos gasped and ran to her to hug her. She hugged him back around his neck and he could feel all his sadness just melt away like cheese on a greasy pizza. He let her go to stare at her and make sure she was really here. “What are you doing here?! How are you here?! Someone pinch me, dude, cuz I gotta be dreaming!”

Melody laughed and shook her head. “Nope! I told you I was only in Portland for a few weeks. A few weeks is over.”

“So you’re staying?!” Soos dared to hope.

Melody nodded. “Yup! I’m staying!”

“This is great!” Soos punched the air and gestured for the “employees only” door. “C’mon in, dude. Meet my grandma and have a soda.”

“Sure, I’d love to.” Melody said as she shed her rain-jacket and followed Soos through the house.

“Abuelita, I got someone I’d like you to meet.” Soos called as they went to the living room. “This is Melody.”

“Si, si, you are even more beautiful up close.” The old lady complimented.

“Uh, thanks.” Melody said and shook her hand.

“Sit, niña, and tell me about yourself.”

Soos pulled out a chair for Melody from the card table and sat on the dino-skull end table to listen to Melody talk about herself and what she was doing in Portland.

~~~~~~~~~~

“So… uh, hey.” Soos said as he sat on a park bench next to Melody a few days after she came back to Gravity Falls. “You know I really like Wendy and I’m never gonna fire here, but… but she’s really busy with school and friends and… I thought it’d be a good idea to hire another cashier.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” Melody supported, thinking he just needed a little encouragement that he was making a good business decision.

“Yeah, but… but I don’t just want anyone, you know?” Soos was starting to sweat a little more than normal. “Someone I can trust and think is pretty cool. Someone really pretty and smart and caring and… I dunno, you wouldn’t be interested, would you?”

Melody stared at the cute guy with an anime t-shirt in front of him and a ball cap, blushing adorably with his little awkwardly-growing whiskers. “What? You mean, work at the Mystery Shack? With you?”

“‘Course, I thought you wouldn’t want to, I get it if it’d be awkward for you, and I know you like extreme lunch meats, so…”

“Are you kidding, I’d love to work at the Mystery Shack with you!” Melody said and took his hand with excitement, her eyes twinkling beautifully and her cheeks round and rosy with joy. “It’d be so much fun and I love the Shack! I’d get to where those cute t-shirts and help kids find stuff they like and give out good deals…”

“Not too good deals, though.” Soos said with a smile and pointed out, “Remember, we put the fun in no refunds.”

“I know, but what if we raise the prices a bit.” Melody offered. “We could do it steadily and carefully so no one would notice, but eventually the price would be so high that we could put crazy good deals on them and still make a profit, making the customers think they’re getting a steal.”

Soos stared at her like she was an awesome warrior princess. “You are the smartest girl I know.”

Melody just smiled with pride and happily shook Soos’s extended hand to accept the new job.

~~~~~~~~~~

“DIPPER! Hurry up!”

“Coming!” Dipper ran into their room, plopped down on his beanbag, and Mabel clicked on Soos’ icon on the laptop to start the video-call. It only rang once or twice before the pair of twins were faced with their favorite handyman-turned-business-owner and his newest employee. “SOOS!”

“What’s up, hambones?!” Soos called and waved. 

“Hey, guys, how’s it going?” Melody asked as she wiggled her fingers.

“Great!” Mabel said. “Guess who made it into the Hall of Fame at the art show?”

“That’s amazing, Mabel!” Soos cheered. “We’re both super proud of you.”

“Totally!” Melody agreed.

“Thanks, guys.”

“So, what’s new with you two?” Dipper asked.

The two exchanged looks and then Soos burst with happy news. “We’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend, dudes!”

“Hey, that’s great!” Dipper congratulated.

“ECK!” Mabel squealed. “All of my dreams are coming true! I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thanks.” Melody giggled. “Soos was so sweet. Had this beautiful picnic set up and asked me to be his girlfriend, honestly I would've said yes a long time ago.”

“Aw, couple goals!” Mabel cooed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan and Ford arrived at the Mystery Shack a week before Dipper and Mabel were supposed to come back for the summer. Right off the bat, Melody happy shook both of their hands as Soos introduced her to the famous Mr. Pines and Dr. Pines. They were surprised to find her, not in an employee’s uniform, but a suit and she borrowed the fez and an eight-ball cane. She kissed Soos’ cheek before hurrying off to run a tour.

“Soos, what’s all that about?” Stan asked, pointing at Melody’s get-up.

“Oh, right. Well, I haven’t found a handyman quite right for the job, so sometimes I gotta make repairs instead of giving tours, so on those days Wendy runs the register and Melody runs the tours as the miraculous Mrs. Mystery! She’s a natural!”

“And over to your left you’ll see our amazing Box of Mystery. If you put your credit cards in, they mysteriously disappear.” Melody said and the gullible tourists put their credit cards in the little mail slot.

Stan patted Soos’ shoulder. “Yup. She’s a keeper.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Melody proved to not only be as sweet as sugar and as sharp as a knife, but also as tough as nails when in a pinch. Of course, anyone who saw her beat up creepy animatronic robots at a pizza joint with a chair knew this, but it became even more apparent when she beat eyebats out of the shack with a broom, carried five huge crates full of merchandise by herself, and could hang Dipper from one arm and Mabel from the other arm.

The kids loved her as much as they loved Soos, and though she had her own apartment, she was always over at the Shack. Jokingly, towards the end of that summer, Stan laughed, “Honestly, you’re here so much, you should just move in.”

Soos turned bright red. He had planned on offering Melody to move in with him when everyone left after summer, but when Melody’s cheeks turned bright red and she giggled nervously, he couldn’t help but stutter, “I-I-If y-y-you w-want to, dude, y-y-you c-can.”

Melody smiled and kissed his cheek to try to ease any worry he might have. “I’d really like that.”

No amount of eye-rolling could hide the smile on Stan’s face, which Ford quickly pointed out and teased his twin for.

~~~~~~~~~~

If it was somehow possible, Stan’s hair became a paler gray over the years, but he wasn’t that old yet! Ford’s hair was a little paler, too, but he still had that lighter stripe. Mabel, now a sixteen-year-old, stood in a beautiful maid-of-honor’s dress. Stan tugged at his suit as he watched Soos and Melody dance, their first dance as a married couple, on the dancefloor just outside the Mystery Shack. 

It had been a beautiful summer wedding in the early afternoon. The sun was setting and soon the dangling lanterns and buzzing fireflies would make excellent sources of light. The cake was half-eaten and the party was still going strong, but this one quiet moment was surreal for everyone. Stan just stood there and happily watched his best employee holding someone he loved and swaying to the soft music.

“Aw, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel cooed quietly. “You’re crying.”

Stan blinked and finally noticed that his eyes were a little wet. He scrubbed at his eyes and hissed, “No I’m not.”

“Stanley, you always were a sap for romance.” Ford joined in the picking of his younger brother.

“I said I ain’t crying!” Stan said firmly, but his eyes were soon wet again and all he could do was grumble as he watched the newlyweds dance.

[milomeepit]

Diamond In The Rough: Chapter Eleven

Roman has always wanted better. Has always believed that there’s a better life, a better world, just out of reach. Just beyond the veil of shitty teachers who don’t care, angry classmates that scream insults and slurs at each other all day, and drug-hazed parents who are more concerned with their next hit than looking after their ten year old son.

When he runs away after a particularly bad night at home and finds a quiet little cafe/bookstore tucked away in a back alley of the city, the sweet couple who run the joint (an odd pair; a quiet, gloomy man with a wry sense of humour and a cynical gleam in his eye, and a bouncy man who smiles like sunshine and laughs like a storybook king) help show him that maybe- just maybe- he really can have the life he always dreamed of.

Masterpost (to be added soon!)

Word Count: 2091

Warnings: More crying, more yelling, forced parent/child separation, promises, food, implied past homophobia,

Roman scrubbed at his cheeks with his sleeve. It was already damp with tears and did little to clean his face, and he huffed. Typical. Even his own jacket was turning against him today. That fit into the afternoon’s events just perfectly.

“Roman, do you want me to put your pyjamas in a separate bag so you can find them easier tonight?” Virgil asked from across the room, bent over Roman’s drawers.

“I don’t care,” Roman pouted. “It doesn’t matter.”

Virgil sighed and looked over to him. Roman was curled up in the corner of the room, tucked in tight with his back against the slatted sliding door of the closet. “Roman, I know this sucks, but sulking isn’t going to change anything.”

“Why can’t I just stay?” Roman asked, for probably the fiftieth time since they’d left the cafe. “I’m happy here. I like you guys a whole lot.”

“And we like you a whole lot, too,” Virgil’s smile was brittle, and Roman felt a pang of guilt for his stubborn scowling. “I really wish you could stay, trust me. But we can’t. And it sucks, but it’s for the best. Lo will make sure you have somewhere safe to stay, with the stuff you need to help you. He’s good at his job.”

Roman looked up at him. “... I still wanna stay,” He mumbled. Stop with the fucking mumbling, Roman, I can’t understand a word you’re saying! He jumped slightly as the familiar voice boomed through his head. No, he didn’t want to think about that right now. He took a deep, shuddering breath.

Virgil straightened and frowned. “... Are you okay?” He asked softly.

“Mm-hm!” Roman nodded quickly. When Virgil didn’t react, he sagged. “I guess I’m just... just upset about... all this,” He explained weakly.

Virgil sat on the bed and patted the covers next to him. He waited for Roman to uncurl and slowly make his way across the room to join him before he spoke. “You know, it’s okay to be upset about stuff, right? Like, whether it’s a big thing or a little thing, your feelings are okay. And it’s okay to talk about them.”

He wrapped an arm around Roman, who cuddled up to him, clinging to him like a lifeline. Maybe if he held on tight enough, he wouldn’t have to let go. Maybe he wouldn’t have to go back if he held onto this life and dug in his fingers and kicked his feet.

Or, he thought as Virgil reached over and tucked the stuffed monkey that Patton had bought into a bag, he’d be tossed out into the cold winds of fate, regardless of what they all wanted.

“I don’t want to go home,” He said hoarsely. “I just... I hate it. I hate it so much, Virgil.”

Virgil ran a hand through Roman’s hair and frowned sympathetically. “I know, Princey. But Logan says you gotta go. Can’t go against the man on this one, it wouldn’t end well for anybody.”

“... I’m really gonna miss you guys,” Roman whimpered, suddenly feeling a fresh wave of tears spring to his eyes. “I don’t wanna say goodbye.”

“Hey, hey!” Virgil tipped his chin up, and Roman met his soft, bright, mismatched eyes and sniffled. “This isn’t goodbye. It’s just see you later. Maybe we could be pen pals or something. Not to mention the fact that we’d probably have to move to keep you from visiting out cafe, especially once you get your license.”

Roman giggled wetly, leaning his head against Virgil’s hand. “Yeah. You make really, really good hot chocolate. I’d really wanna come back for that, if nothing else.”

Virgil flashed him a lopsided grin. “See? It’s all good.” He paused, and Roman saw emotion flicker across his face, too quickly for him to identify. “You have my word, Roman. We’ll meet again, I promise.”

Roman’s heart fluttered at the intensity that Virgil spoke with. He felt, deep in his gut, that Virgil fully intended to keep that promise, come hell or high water. That made the idea of being sent home a little more bearable. “... Okay,” He said softly.

Virgil kissed his forehead. “Come on, we still gotta finish folding clothes. If we finish soon enough, we might be able to make a batch of cookies before Logan picks you up.”

Roman nodded and picked up one of the shirts Virgil had picked out, a black and white tee with a Maleficent design on it. “Okay, then. Can we make chocolate chip ones?” He asked shyly.

Virgil grinned. “Whatever you wanna make, bud.”

When Patton got home an hour later, he crept into the apartment, not sure what he would find. The lights were on in the living room, though he couldn’t see any sign of Virgil or Roman.

A sudden burst of giggles from the kitchen clued him in, and he followed the noise to see Virgil with his arms around a squealing Roman, ruthlessly tickling the small boy. Roman squirmed away from him as he spotted Patton. “You’re back!” He grinned. “Virgil and me made cookies! Do you want some?”

Patton beamed, sitting down at the table as Roman zipped over to him and pulling him into his arms. “I’d love some, sweetheart! Thank you very much,” He replied cheerfully.

Virgil grabbed a plate from the counter, offering it to Patton so that he could have his pick. Patton carefully selected two cookies, taking a bite of one and almost moaning at how the chocolate chips melted in his mouth. “Gosh, these are good!”

Virgil grinned impishly. “Yeah, I might’ve took a peek in Abuelita’s cookbook. Figured it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”

Patton paused. “... Sneaky,” He chided half-heartedly as Roman settled . “You know that book is for my eyes only.”

Virgil pecked him on the cheek. “Okay, but you got free cookies out of it. Are you really that mad?”

“Nah,” Patton said breezily before taking another bite. “You guys did a really good job!”

Virgil sat in the chair next to them. “Glad to hear. I’ve always aspired to cook as well as Abuelita,” He said with more than a hint of pride in his voice.

Patton giggled. “It only took you seventeen years,” He teased.

“Hey, Patton?” Roman piped up. “What’s your Abuelita like? You guys talk about her a lot.”

“Oh! She’s great!” Patton perked up. “She pretty much raised me, after my parents were gone. She’s really sweet, and she cooks the most delicious food, and she taught me how to cook and how to knit, and she helped me with my schoolwork wherever she could, and she taught me all about how important it is to remember history and culture, no matter where you go!”

“She was also 4’9” of terrifying when she got mad,” Virgil quipped with a grin. “Remember the time we got caught kissing behind the school and the principal got all pissy about it, just ‘cause it was us? She came down to the school and ripped him a new one.”

Patton burst out laughing at the memory of his tiny Abuelita shouting down the large, bearded principal of their high school. “Oh, heck, that’s right!” He giggled. “And then she spent the whole car ride home lecturing us about consent and being safe and appropriate behaviour.”

“Longest thirty minutes of my life,” Virgil shook his head. “Almost as bad as when I told her I wanted to pop the question and she fussed over me til you got home from work and overheard her talking. Really ruined the surprise element of that.”

“Aw, it was still lovely!” Patton cooed. “Besides, she made it up to us by helping out with the wedding. I reckon that we would’ve been completely without flowers if she hadn’t driven up to that florist near Uncle Ed’s farm.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed with a laugh. “I still dunno how she managed to make it there and back without a speeding ticket or six.”

Patton opened his mouth to respond, but a knock on the front door interrupted him. Roman’s hands immediately clutched fistfuls of his sweater, clinging to him tightly. Patton and Virgil exchanged a look before Virgil got to his feet, brushing flour off of his shirt before going to answer the door.

“Do I really have to go?” Roman whispered, his voice trembling.

Patton’s heart ached terribly. He wanted nothing more than to slam the door in Logan’s face, and hold Roman tightly and never let go. He wanted to make more cookies and watch movies and listen to Roman’s sweet laughter forever. But they couldn’t.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” He said softly, pressing a kiss into Roman’s hair and rubbing his back. “You do. I’m sorry.”

“Virgil... Virgil said I’d see you guys again. He-he promised. Is that true?” Roman looked up at him, his eyes wide and shining with tears.

A lump rose in Patton’s throat, and he tried to ignore the way his heart thudded. “If Virgil promised, then I just know we will, honey,” Patton answered. “He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it.”

“... Okay,” Roman nodded and cuddled back up to Patton, squeezing his arms around him tightly.

Patton returned the hug, resting his chin on top of Roman’s head as Virgil and Logan appeared in the doorway, Virgil holding Roman’s old backpack and a couple of supermarket bags with the rest of his things. “Hey, bud, it’s time to go,” He said, his voice low and gentle.

Roman sniffled. “Okay,” He slowly peeled himself out of Patton’s arms, and god, everything in Patton wanted to kick and scream and take him back. It was like watching a piece of his heart get ripped out of his chest.

Logan extended a hand to Roman, who took hold of it limply. “I’ll talk to you two later,” He nodded. “Thank you.”

Patton tried not to glare at Logan. He was just doing his job, what they’d heard about a hundred times, helping children in need find a stable environment, but it felt like a punch to the gut to hear that they weren’t good enough to be that for this boy that he loved so much. How could he not take it personally when his (almost) friend didn’t trust them enough to even let Roman stay with them while CPS investigated his parents.

Sure, their apartment was a little small, but there was plenty of space and light, and windows cracked open during the day to let in breezes of fresh air. They had clothes and a room and a bed and money- not a lot, sure, but enough- and love to support Roman.

Not just any child. Roman. Patton tried to force down the lump in his throat as he mulled over that. Even if they adopted a child sometime later, he knew he’d always want Roman, would always miss him. He was theirs, damn it. And it hurt worse than anything he’d ever felt in his life.

Virgil held out the backpack to Roman, who slipped it on without a word, and handed over the other bags to Logan. He ruffled Roman’s hair. “Hey, remember. Not goodbye. Just... see you later.”

“See you later,” Roman repeated mechanically, his voice thick with tears.

“Let’s go, Roman. We’ve got a bit of a drive ahead of us. Maybe we can get something to eat on the way there.” Logan at least tried to sound warm, bless his heart, but Patton still wanted to knock his teeth in right now.

And then, far too quickly, they were gone, the front door clacking shut behind them.

Everything bubbled up inside of Patton, raw and ugly and painful, and he burst into tears. His shoulders shook violently as he curled in on himself, as if trying to protect his wounded heart. Distantly, he felt Virgil’s arms around him, pulling him up into his lap- when had he ended up on the floor?- and cradling him close.

“Virgil, wh-what do we do?” Patton buried his face in his husband’s neck. “I don’t want to lose him, I can’t, I can’t live with that, I don’t want to!”

“Shh, shhhh.” Virgil murmured, his hands tracing patterns over Patton’s back and shoulders. “It’s okay, corazón. I promise you, it’ll all be alright.”

“How do you know that?” Patton sobbed, shaking his head. “You can’t make that promise!”

“Because it has to be,” Virgil said softly, pressing kisses to the top of Patton’s head. “Because it has to be.”

[wndamaximov]

Of Love And Secrets

Part 3:  Meeting Her Family

Main Masterlist                      Series Masterlist

Summary: While y/n was initially stuck in the book store because of the rain, she stayed longer for the handsome stranger that kept her company. But this handsome stranger has a secret- one he’d rather not let see the light of day.

Warnings: Minor Language, Fluff, Abusive Boyfriend, PTSD

Words: 1, 316

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: Sorry for taking so long in getting this up. Thank y'all for being so patient <3<3<3

<< prev

Y/n laydown, nestled in the crook if Steve’s arm, running her fingers round and round in circles on his chest. They’d been dating for a couple of months now, and the Starks were dying to meet him. 

“I think that it’s time for you to meet Tony and Pepper,” she voiced out loud. Y/n could feel Steve’s breath stop for a moment. It was a while before he finally let it go and relaxed.

“Don’t you think it’s… too early?” His voice came out uncertain, so different from the way he usually spoke.

Y/n pushed herself off of him and whirled around to look at his face. She smiled before telling him, “They can’t wait to meet you. In fact, every time I see them, they ask when they’ll finally get to see the living legend in person.”

Steve laughed. “A living legend? Is that what I am now?” As suddenly as the happiness had come, the gloominess returned. “What if they don’t like me?”

She leaned down to kiss him softly, leaving him- and her- wanting more. “They won’t like you; they’ll love you.” Y/n got out of the bed reluctantly to get ready for work. “I’ll see you when I get back?”

“Yeah,” Steve ran a hand through his hair then continued, “And tell Tony and Pepper we’ll meet them for dinner tomorrow, kinda like a double date.”

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Steve’s POV

After y/n left, Steve leaned over to grab his phone from the bedside table. He went to his contacts and scrolled down to Bucky’s. His finger hovered over the call button, as he debated whether or not to call him. On one hand, he wasn’t even sure he’d answer. He’d been ignoring Steve, ever since his first date with y/n. It broke his heart, but he knew Bucky needed his space. On the other hand, he missed his best friend.

Before he could rethink his decision, he pressed the button. Bucky picked up on the first ring.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Y/n’s POV

Y/n walked into Pepper’s office, carrying papers for her to sign. Tony was there too, trying to stop the swinging sticks from… swinging.

“Everything’s set for the press conference, I just need both of your signatures here and here.” She set the papers on the desk while pointing to the places they both needed to sign. 

The swinging sticks clattered to the floor, still going, and Tony threw his hands up in defeat. “I swear to God, I’m going to throw this thing in the trash.”

Pepper gave him her signature glare and said, “No you’re not.” Y/n had been the receiving end of one of those multiple times(albeit, less than Tony) and she could say from experience that it wasn’t the best feeling in the world.

“Yes ma’am. However, would you consider donation?” The look persisted.

“Anyways…” y/n interrupted, “you both are invited to dinner. With Steve and me.”

“Oh my God, finally! Pep, you owe me one, crisp Jackson.”

“You bet on me?”

“Oh honey, we do it all the time. Speaking of time, when and where is our double date going to be?”

As she gave them the details, a bouquet of flowers perched on the edge of Pepper’s desk caught her eye. Blood red roses- beautiful, yet full of thorns.

“You get those for Pepper?” she asked Tony. It was Pepper who answered.

“No, they’re from a corporation that wants to do business. Hydra Technologies, I think.”

She nodded, the heat of tears stinging behind her eyes. “I have to go.” She barely made it out of the room and into the bathroom before the flashback started. 

Ring-a-round the rosie,

A pocket full of posies,

Ashes, Ashes,

We all fall down.

His face swam before her eyes, his hands and feet following, not seconds after. She saw bouquet of roses he always sent as an apology, before the cycle of rage started again. And like ashes, she always fell down.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Steve’s POV

Bucky stared down at his coffee, slowly stirring the sugar in. Steve had just told him about the double date, and he had yet to respond.

He took a sip, then set the cup down, looking Steve straight in the eye. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem mad. 

“Okay.” Bucky leaned back in his chair.

“That’s it?”

“No, that’s not it. If you want to be a suicidal maniac for a girl, I fully support your decision.”

“I’m not suicidal. They’ll never find out.” 

“You really like her?”

“I do. I think I may love her too.”

“I’m sorry. For being the world’s biggest jerk. I still get to be your best man, right?”

Steve choked on the water he had just taken a sip of. “Who said anything about a wedding?”

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Y/n’s POV

After gathering herself together on the floor of the bathroom stall, y/n had went back to work, as if everything was normal.

When she got back home, all memories of… him, and been shoved back down into a lockbox.

As she got ready for dinner, she wondered where Steve was, seeing as he was usually waiting for her at home. That’s what Steve’s house had become for her. Home. She smiled to herself. 

When the door opened, she was all ready for dinner, save for her shoes.

“Where were you?”

Steve grinned. “I got a job.”

Y/n ran over to Steve and gave him a congratulatory hug. “Oh my God, where? I need all the details!”

“At the bookstore. Bucky needed some extra help, and I volunteered.”

Y/n hugged him again. “Now go get ready, we can’t be late.”

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Steve’s POV

In the taxi to the restaurant, Steve’s knee wouldn’t stop bouncing. Up, down, up, down, up. Eventually, y/n put her hand on it, stopping the motion.

He couldn’t even relax with the girl he loved because of a stupid, drunken mistake he’d made years ago. Damn young Steve for messing things up for him.

On another note, he really wanted both the Starks to love him. They were important to y/n, and he wanted them to be important to him too.

Deep down in his subconscious, he wanted them to like him to make up for what he did, but that only made him feel even more guilty.

Too late to go back now; they were already at the restaurant.

“You ready?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

They saw Tony and Pepper and y/n ran up to them introduce everyone to each other. Then, Steve found himself in a seat, right across from Tony Stark. Honestly, the way he got there was a blur.

“So, how’d you three meet?” he asked, making small talk.

“Well, I started out as an intern in the public relations department at Stark Industries. When I was taking coffee to the big shots upstairs, a very hungover Tony Stark told me to come sit with him on the floor.”

“I still don’t understand why you did it,” Pepper interjected. 

“Because he was CEO at the time! Anyways, we got to talking, and it turned out that we had a lot in common.”

“Yup! We only talked about morbid stuff though, like how both our parents died in car crashes and-”

Their voices faded away, and Steve wanted to be anywhere but here. Laughter interrupted his thoughts, and he zoned back into the conversation, determined to make a good impression.

But the memory of his past still lingered in the back of his head, from appetizers until after dessert.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Y/n’s POV

After dinner, Tony pulled her aside and whispered in her ear, “I like him- he’s a keeper.”

“Yeah, he is,” she agreed, before going up to Steve and taking his arm. 

Once Tony and Pepper were out of earshot, she said, “That wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

≿————-　❈　————-≾

next >>

What do you think Steve did... let me know in the comments! As always, reblogs are an added bonus!

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Of Love and Secrets:  @theadventurousqueen @marvelgirl7 @little-ash-unicorn @diamonddia-mond @questionable-brimborion @jll72-blog

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[conartisthaiji]

or, how Hazama figures out how to comfort Kurahashi.

For Assassination Classroom Femslash 2019! Day one: comfort/sweets

Fic week hosted by @assclass-conspiracies, check out their profile for more info :D

Fic under the cut as well! 

Kurahashi had run past her crying.

So.

That’s a predicament she’ll have to deal with.

There’s literally no way that she’s going to be successful.

Hazama is willing to admit that she really doesn’t know how to comfort people after all. And as it would seem, neither do her bonehead friends.

“Just give her some candy or something,” Yoshida tells her. “Girls love that shit.”

“Hugs,” Muramatsu suggests. “And bring her to my ramen place.”

“You just want business,” she accuses.

“Well, yeah.” Muramatsu shrugs. “But food is good, right?”

“You just gotta tell her that you care,” Terasaka advises. “It’s what all the movies say. Or do some grand romantic gesture. Like propose.”

That's such a bad idea, why is she talking to them again?

“You’re seventeen,” Itona says. He’s clearly the only one with any common sense, although Yoshida might be onto something with the candy. “Do not propose. But maybe a promise ring—”

“No proposing OR promising,” she snaps. “Will you knuckleheads take this seriously? This is Kurahashi we’re talking about.”

“I bet Kurahashi would love a grand romantic proposal,” Muramatsu says thoughtfully. “Hey, can I cater your wedding?”

Just like that, her boys lose all rationality.

“Would Hazama wear a dress?” Yoshida wonders. “I bet Kurahashi would, but the question is, could she get Hazama in one?”

“We’d invite the whole class, of course,” Itona says. “I wonder if Bitch-sensei or Karasuma can officiate weddings. Oh! We have to have it on the mountain.”

“I bet Hazama will cry,” Terasaka says. “She’d deny it, of course, but Nakamura and Karma would have photos, so we’d all know that Hazama cried at her wedding.

“We’re off-topic!” she shouts. “No one is getting married!”

Her dumb boys fall silent.

“We’re all single,” Muramatsu says finally. “We don’t know how to do this romantic stuff.”

“I thought Yoshida was dating Hara,” Hazama says.

“We’ve been dating for two days!” Yoshida exclaims. “I’m new to this!”

“You guys are absolutely useless,” she grumbles, and slouches in her chair. No more mining ideas from the boys. She’ll have to rely on her own intellect, and whatever sensible information the Internet will be able to provide her.

And Ristu, probably.

Either way, she’ll come up with something. She has to, after all: Kurahashi’s happiness depends on it.

“You need relationship advice?” Ritz asks, popping up on screen with a bright smile. “About how to comfort your girlfriend?”

“Go away, you nosy android,” Hazama says, without any real bite. Ritsu has a sixth sense, sometimes, for when her classmates aren’t feeling well. Maybe it’s their Internet search history that tips her off. Creepy, considering that she’s an AI, but…it is nice, she supposes.

“I just want to help my classmate,” Ritsu replies.

“I didn’t ask for your help,” Hazama snarks right back. On screen, Ristu seems to shrink back slightly. “You downloaded yourself onto my phone—which is creepy, by the way—and now take the liberty of popping up whenever it pleases you.”

“Sorry,” says Ritsu, fiddling with her hair and looking at her feet. “I just want to be helpful.”

Of course she did, which is exactly what Hazama needed right now. Great. Now she just feels like an asshole, for offending the AI.

“I’m just not good at the comforting business,” Hazama grumbles. "Look at me. I'm just gloomy and depressing."

Ritsu seems to perk up at her admission. “You're not that gloomy. But...Kurahashi has seemed rather upset lately. Sometimes I make sure to send her a cute puppy video. Just reach out to her and if she wants to talk, she’ll talk.”

“That easy?” Hazama asks.

Ritsu smiles. “Every human being is different. You need to figure out what Kurahashi would like, and how you can best help her.” She spins around on screen. “Koro-sensei told me that I should make sure to support my classmates as best I can, and that’s what I hope to do! And when it comes to comforting people, that’s what you should aim to do too!”

“You’re an AI,” Hazama points out, although it’s not malicious. She just needs to remind Ritsu that she’s not human.

Ritsu seems to be aware of Hazama’s reasonings, because she laughs (or maybe she’s been on her phone long enough to understand how Hazama works). “An assassin AI,” she replies. “One with enough information to support all my classmates. But just be there for her. Good luck, Hazama!”

And with a salute and a wink, Ritsu vanishes from the screen.

Hazama sighs. Listen to someone, offer them support, be physically present.

Maybe she will just grab some candy and give it to Kurahashi.

Why aren’t there any spider chocolates out there? She’s wasted her weekend and she’s meeting with Kurahashi this Thursday. At this rate, she’ll have to make chocolate.

Oh, no.

With a groan, she texts Hara. If anyone can help her, it'll be her.

“I think this is a really nice thing that you’re doing,” Hara tells her as she sets up the ingredients for chocolate.

Hazama cannot believe that she’s doing this.

“It’ll be sweet, and Kurahashi will appreciate it,” Hara continues. “Plus, this will be good to know for the future.” She winks at the end of the statement, and Hazama internally curses her existence. How anyone believes that Hara is the sweet mother figure is beyond her. That girl hides mischief and a sly mind behind sweet smiles and concern.

...okay, the concern probably is legitimate, but still. When will the assassins of 3-E realize that Hara is more mischievous than they realize? When will they realize that Hara has them hoodwinked?

“Since we don’t have molds, you’ll have to use piping tips,” Hara adds.

“You’re joking.” Hazama has never made chocolate in her entire life, no matter how often her mother pushed her into it. “I have no idea how to do that.”

Hara grins. “There’s a first for everything, isn’t there?”

“I hate you so damn much.”

“If you, the self-proclaimed Queen of Doom and Gloom, want to comfort your girlfriend…” Hara picks up a bowl. “Come on. Stop complaining, you asked me for help.”

“I am going to kill you,” Hazama tells her, but she groans and ties her hair back. “Fine. Tell me what to do.”

“Hey, Kurahashi,” Hazama says warily at their weekly cafe meeting. This is probably going to be terrible. How can she be expected to comfort someone? “How are you?”

“Good!” Kurahashi replies. She offers a smile. “How are you?”

Here is what Hazama notices:

1. smile doesn’t reach her eyes

2. eyes aren’t even that bright, and they seem far away

3. it’s the anniversary. none of her classmates like talking about it

4. her shoulders are drooping

5. she’s not eating much of her parfait.

“Bullshit,” Hazama replies. “You’re allowed to be upset.”

“Why should I be upset?” Kurahashi asks. “I’m on a date with my girlfriend. We’re eating parfaits.”

“It’s the anniversary of Koro-sensei’s death, you were crying the other day—don’t lie to me about that, I saw you—and while I’m all gloom and doom, you’re cheery and sweet, and it’s weirding me out.” She digs through her bag and slides a box of chocolate to Kurahashi. “It’s not. Not like. White Day or anything, but Hara helped me make them.” The words start tumbling out of her mouth, and she can’t stop them. “They’re spider-shaped. Do you know how hard it is to find spider-shaped molds? Bugs are your favorite and I’m really grateful for your help with Despair when she gave birth, you know, and I thought it would be fitting, since that’s probably the start of our friendship. And I don’t like seeing you sad because it’s weird. I’m supposed to be the sad one, not you. That’s not to say you’re not allowed to be unhappy,” she continues, because it’s true, Kurahashi is allowed to cry, she’s not supposed to be a happy robot the whole time. That’s Ritsu’s job. Where was she? Oh, yeah. “The point is, I was—well, worried.” She scowls and looks away.

“Hazama,” Kurahashi says softly. “You…I…”

Hazama looks up, and there’s tears leaking out of Kurahashi’s green eyes.

Hell. She made this worse, didn’t she?

“You’re so bad at this comforting business, you know?” Kurahashi says, wiping her eyes. “That was just bad!”

But there’s the tiniest smile on her face, underneath the tears.

“…yeah, I’m all doom and gloom, remember?” she tries. She slides out of her seat and into the seat next to Kurahashi. “Just don’t…don’t…it’s okay.”

Kurahashi wraps her arms around her. “Don’t ever change, Hazama. I really appreciate this. You’re bad at this, but it helped, you know.”

“Oh.” What do people say next? “It’s going to be okay,” she finally mumbles, even though she’s not totally sure if it will. “It’s going to be okay.”

“There’s just been a lot going on,” Kurahashi says, sniffing. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Okay,” Hazama says, and hesitantly runs her hand through Kurahashi’s hair. “Just. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here, okay?”

“Thank you,” Kurahashi whispers back. She rests her head on Hazama’s shoulder, and Hazama wraps her arm around Kurahashi.

So, she might not’ve been the best candidate for this whole comforting business.

But she thinks that she did a good job, all things considered.

[hearts-upon-our-sleeves]

Undercover Madness - Spencer Reid

Title: Undercover Madness

Summary: In which Hotch enlists you to go undercover into one of the biggest drug rings in the US, which meant you had to leave behind the team and a special genius.  

Warnings: Drugs, Fighting (lots), Curse words, sexual themes, gangs, drug rings.

Word Count: 4000+

Terms: Y/N = Your name, Y/L/N = your last name.

Masterlist

A/N: THIS IS 100% BASED OFF OF SEASON 1 FINALE OF BROOKLYN NINE NINE, I TRIED TO ADD NEW THINGS AND MAKE IT MY OWN BUT I GOT THE IDEA FROM THEM. pls dont sue x. Also the first part the cast is Hotch, JJ, Morgan, Reid, Rossi, & Garcia. Elle and Gideon are gone and Prentiss comes a bit after you go undercover kk, also I made a lot of the agents and directors up bc i don't pay enough attention to know everyone cast in the show.  ALSO I CAN 100% DO A BACKSTORY AS TO WHY YOU’RE CALLED THE CALVARY IF Y’ALL WANT JUST ASK I’VE GOT IDEAS MY DUDES. This isn’t proof read its late okay. 

It wasn’t everyday that Hotch called you into his office before flying off for a case, yet here you were sat in one of the leather lined seats bouncing your leg up and down. It was obvious that you were nervous, you grew that way more and more as Hotch briefed the team for the newest case. You had no clue why you weren’t in with the rest of the team, but you listened to Hotch and sat in his office waiting on him.

You didn’t have to wait that long for Hotch to walk in and sit at his desk. Hotch flipped through a few files not speaking a word until he found one, to which he threw in front of you. You grabbed the file and looked inside curiously.

“This is the the mayor’s file, the case I tried to make when I thought he was laundering money, Why did you give me this.” You looked up at Hotch in a state of wonder. Looking into this case got you suspended the last time you tried to follow it.

“What I’m about to tell you does not leave this room under any circumstance.” You looked around the room a small bit before nodding. “I need you to get fired, and I need you to use this to get fired.” He tapped the case file, as you looked at him  as if he was mental. You tried everything to read him but you couldn’t figure him out.

“Hotch this is insane, I like my job, I can’t just leave it.” You set the file back down and set your hands on your knees looking back up at Hotch.

“I know, I need to know if you trust me.” You let out a small laugh that made him raise a brow.

“Of course I trust you, but I don’t see why I need to get fired.”  You leaned back into the chair you were sat in and crossed your legs.

“For me to tell you why you need to be fired, you need to agree to it.” Hotch locked his fingers together and met your gaze, you had to take a minute to think about what endless possibilities Hotch could ask you to do, Reid could probably tell you the exact number. Reid. Oh crap what about that pretty boy genius, the genius that would walk you to work and make your coffee with too much sugar, but you never minded because he looked so happy doing it. You knew deep down Hotch came to you because you were the only person for the job. As much as saying yes would kill you, you knew that it needed to be done and if blindlessly following him would help in any way shape or form you’d do it.

“Okay, I’ll get fired, but I need you to do something okay?” He nodded looking to you for your favor. “Watch out for Reid would ya? He’s a sweet guy and I don’t know what I’d do if he got hurt.”

“You know I will, but Y/N, the mission I’m sending you on requires you to infiltrate one of the biggest drug rings in America.” There was no way he’s gonna say that you, a FBI agent is gonna get into a family of incredibly dangerous gangsters. That shit just ain’t gonna happen. “I need you to infiltrate the Romanov family, get to know them, learn their ways and most importantly we have found a bar frequented by one of their sons, he is around your age and I need you to get close to him, have them accept you as one of their own. This is incredibly dangerous and I’m hiding this mission away from everyone. Garcia is going to work with you on creating a means to communicate with us under the radar. I’m going to be honest, there’s a high chance that you will die, but if you can get in it’ll be monumentary. I need you, I need the Cavalry.” As much as you took in you couldn’t help but laugh at the nickname he used, you hadn’t heard it in a long time but then again it was why people had been scared of you.

“What’s the story again? People keep adding onto it.” He smiled a bit showing the smallest ounce of compassion on a gloomy afternoon. You shook your head letting a breath escape you. “So are you in on everything or not?”

“I’m in.”

-

Saying goodbye as the team left to go to their case was the hardest thing you ever had to do, but you did it and over that week they were gone, you investigated the case harder than ever before and pissed off the director of the BAU. Which lead to a two-day suspension, and at your hearing you raised so much hell you were fired on the spot. You left with a hug from Garcia and a vague memory of your team- no your family.

That’s how it started, you got fired and never looked back as you drove along the highway singing Billy Joel with a suitcase in the back. It was getting late and you could use a drink and a nice motel, so you stopped at a bar. As you sat down you already felt eyes burning into your chest but you couldn’t care, you ordered and scrolled through your phone looking and feeling bored.

“What’s a pretty face like yours doing looking so sad? I’m Mickey Romanov nice to meet ya.”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N, and I just got fired from the FBI.”

-

The past few months were crazy you had successfully gotten into the family, you had no clue but they all loved you. You thought it was because you beat out Nona in a shots contest, apparently no one could do that. You had incredible information and could easily arrest them all but you knew they’d all run and rebuild their empire, you needed an event where they would all be at and couldn’t leave. You needed a marriage, you’d dated Mickey for a while and were extremely happy when he believed that you wanted to wait till marriage for sex. But all round Mickey was sweet to you but cruel to the outside world and you knew that it was for the pure fact of you could kill him without even trying if he treated you wrong.  

You and Garcia spoke once a week through the mail, she figured out a way to send you new recipes that were actually messages, Mickey thought you were getting weekly new recipes but you were really just relaying back and forth with Garcia. You and Mickey lived together and as he would believe happily, yet still inside were raging feelings for Boy Wonder and Garcia knew it which is why she always included a recipe about Reid and the things he did that week. You wrote her back a recipe telling her all of the intel you got this week including your plan to get the family together by a marriage.

-

“Garcia, how’s she doing?” Hotch walked into Garcia’s lair after being informed of a new letter.

“She’s holding up feeling a bit homesick but I would too after eight months of faking who you are.” Garcia typed away on her computers pulling up the recipe. “They smuggled in more of the bad stuff through the ports, there's a lack of security in one spot and so the claimed it as their own. Do we do something about it?”

“No we handle it all after we catch them all, we fix it they will think someone’s giving out their information and I can’t risk Y/N to close off one port.” Hotch thanked Garcia and continued to his office.

-

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” You could have rolled your eyes there but you faked tears and happiness, yet a small hint of relief for it would be over soon.

“Yes, yes I will, I can’t wait to be Mrs.Y/N Romanov!” You squealed trying to feel a single ounce of happiness yet nothing.

-

“Hotch!” Garcia called running into his office in a hurry, she slammed the door finally catching his attention. “Y/N is gonna get married! Hotch this is her plan during the vows when everyone is there and all attention is on the bride and groom is when we hit. She’s gonna get to come home, after a year and a half we can have our girl back!” Garcia practically threw the wedding invite at Hotch.

“We’ve got three weeks, I’ll fill in the director.” Hotch read over the copy of the invite, thinking about the plan.

“But the director of the BAU will never let us go in he hates Y/N!” Garcia exclaimed confused and looking for an answer.

“That's why I’m going to the Director of the FBi. Also Garcia, Y/N has kept up this act for a year, that does a lot to someone.” Hotch sighed and looked down at the photo of Y/N and her fake fiance.

“What are you saying sir?” Garcia looked up with beady eyes.

“Let’s just hope Y/N can come out of this as herself again. I’ll inform the team soon, please keep this quiet.” Garcia shook her head and left Hotch to himself, trying to think positively that Y/N would come back herself.

-

“Team, meet me in the conference room in 5.” Hotch shouted over the team as they wondered why JJ cancelled the new case, in all honestly JJ didn’t know either.

“Anyone know why Hotch called us in here?” Morgan asked around the room of confused agents. Prentiss shrugged as JJ shook her head. Reid mumbled a ‘no clue’ as Garcia bounced into the room. “Hey Baby girl what’s got you so happy today?”

“It’s a secret but you’ll all see soon!” Garcia took her sat and positive energy illuminated the room as everyone looked confused. They were all trying to profile the situation, but were interrupted when Hotch came into the room, Rossi trailing behind him with a smirk on his face.  Morgan furrowed his brows trying to figure out what was happening. But it wouldn’t take him long since Hotch wrote on the board a name most of them were all too familiar with. Y/N Y/L/N. Reading your name again made Spencers heart stop dead in its tracks, he’d spent so long trying to forget that you left without a single goodbye to any of them. Reid was angry, he wanted to be angry at you but he was angry at himself for falling for someone who would leave without a single word. He wanted so badly to understand everything but the puzzle was missing a piece until Hotch finally turned to them and pointed at the board.

“I’ve got some explaining to do about a past agent, a past friend. Many of you may be angry that she left and none of you have known why, and it was my fault. I made Y/N get fired, then go into the Romanov family.” At that moment Morgan realized Spencer’s jaw had clenched and his fist tightened around the uncomfortable desk chair he was sat in. “Over the past year and a half she has infiltrated them, gained their trust, and even succeeded in joining the family, or should I say she will be joining the family. In three weeks she will be getting married to one of the sons, we have three weeks until the wedding to put together a plan of invasion. There has been talk of them storing all of the product at one massive facility the day of the wedding, but we won't know until we speak to Y/N again, she’s been sending Garcia messages in the form of recipes, she’s gone under the radar and it is the perfect way to speak to her. I want you all to find everywhere they are importing the drugs and keep tabs, we are going to bring teams in on the day of the wedding we attack. All of the files are being brought to you, you’re all dismissed.” With that Hotch took his leave and Spence did everything he could to not storm after him and curse his name. He loved you more than anything in the world, where you disappeared it took a toll on him that no one could fix, hell even to this day you were there burning in the back of his mind.

“Garcia, you knew about this?” Spencer was past being angry but now he just felt betrayed by one of his friends. Spence stormed out of the room, he couldn’t handle everything that was just laid on him.

“Spencer.” Garcia called after the boy wonder, turning to Morgan silently asking him to talk to the damaged boy.

-

“Wow.” You choked looking at yourself in the mirror, today was the day you tried your gown on and you looked absolutely stunning. Of course it was a fake wedding but you could at least imagine if it was real, with a different groom of course, maybe one that was smart and sweet and cute and now you were droning on and on, about the love of your life, Spencer Reid.

-

“Hey, hey, hey, the hell’s wrong with you?” Morgan chased after Spencer, stopping him in the hallway. Morgan placed his hands on his on Spencers shoulders, looking him in his already red eyes. Spencer push Morgan off and tried to continue until Morgan grabbed him and wouldn’t let go. “I get it you love her and you’re incredibly angry but don’t it out on other people because you feel like you let her leave, you know in that smart head of yours you couldn’t stop her from doing anything.”

-

“So who exactly was Y/N Y/L/N?” Prentiss asked looking through the boxes of intel. JJ laughed a bit making Prentiss raise a brow in question.

“Ever heard of the calvary?” Garcia piped up her fingers clicking away on her laptop, looking up for a second to see Prentiss putting it together.

“You mean Hotch was able to get the cavalry on his team? Dang I’ve heard all of the stories, she’s just plain terrifying but she looks so nice.” Prentiss looked at an old picture of you and Reid in stupid party hats and a feather boa draped around your neck that clung to Spencer’s shoulder. Smiles illuminated both of your drunken faces and you could sense the love the two of you had for each other in the picture. JJ looked at the picture and smiled too she knew how much you two cared for each other and she was rooting for you two to get together.

“She’s the nicest person I know, don’t believe the stupid stories people make up, yeah she can kick serious butt but it’s only to protect people. We’re lucky to have her, and besides as much as Spence looks angry and hurt, he’s excited to get his girl back.”

“His girl huh?” Prentiss smirked a bit, never knowing Spence could have actual human emotions.

“Totally! They are in love with each other!” Garcia piped up ready to talk about the letters about Reid, that she’d promise she wouldn’t say anything about, so Garcia didn’t say any more but tease them a bit.

-

Today was the day. Today you were going to get married or you could finally be free from this crazy family and kick some bad guy ass, you hoped it was the ladder.  You slipped the bottom part of your dress on over some black leather leggings, thankfully your corset was the top part but it was breathable so you could just take the skirt off to fight. On top of the leggings you had two gun holsters just incase things got bad, you prefered fighting over shooting but this would be one weird and angry day.

Mickey’s father escorted you down the aisle. You knew that Hotch was watching, you could see the small camera set in the bouquet, it was hard to see to the normal eye but you could catch it. Every step you took you felt enlightened for it would be over so soon but you knew there had to be a war before there was silence. You met Mickey’s love sick gaze and gave him the same look, it sickened you but you swallowed it down and took the last step as his father gave you away.

-

You looked absolutely beautiful and it made Spencer sick, he hadn’t looked at a picture of you in so long, so seeing you at your wedding destroyed him, he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact it was fake. But he was there with every single member of every security team, they all split up around the building you were getting married, and Spence was gonna be there when they release the gas that knocks everyone out, he was gonna be there to make sure you were okay. Hotch told him you could hold your breath but Spence prepared for the worse, he didn’t know why he acted this way but his mind just couldn’t focus around you, he loved you.

-

“I  have never loved anyone the way I love you, Mickey.” You lied your ass off. “Standing here with you by my side makes me realise I missed so much the first part of my life, and I’m ready to start it off right with you.” You looked into his eyes with stars in yours. “It’ so hard to describe how much I love you, it’s like trying Baba’s meatballs for the first time over and over again.” Heartfelt laughter erupted as you gazed into each other. You smiled, for the fact part one was over.

-

“That’s the word, release the gas.” Hotch ordered, it was rare for him to be incharge on so many different units and ranks, but this was his case, the director of the FBI made that clear.

-

It took 15 seconds for people the people in the back to pass out cold, and another 5 for everyone else. You held your breath and closed your air ways off. There was a gas mask stashed under the food cart which you grabbed and threw it on fast, finally breathing in and actually feeling how light headed you were. You took a few moments to compose yourself, there were guards you had to take out on the roof, before teams swarmed this place like a beehive. As you walked down the corridor to the roof staircase you slipped your skirt off leaving your pants, as it was easier to fight in pants than a 15 pound skirt.

As you reached the opening you could hear the guards, Hotch told you that he placed an earpiece under on of the shelfs in the room. It didn’t take too long for you to find it, turn it on and place it in your ear. “5 guards on the roof, taken them out then we go in, you still got it?” Hotch’s voice boomed through the ear piece.

“Fuck yeah I do.” You smirked, you were back in business, you were you again. You threw the door open, greeted with 5 very big men. One charged out at you and you jumped over him grabbing his head with your feel and kicking him onto his back. Two snuck behind up so you elbowed both of them in the head using an ‘x’ motion. Another charged in front of you so you did a front aerial with a spin and used him as a landing target. Those four had been knocked out but you still had one more and he charged at you throwing punches, you did the only logical thing you could think of at that time and threw him off of the building, which startled a lot of agents when they saw a girl throw a huge man off a building, eh you shrugged you’d deal with it later. You walked back to the door and used one of the guys as a stepping stone. When you climbed down the ladder you were met with a face you’d dreamt to see for the past year and a half. Spencer. You two looked at each other not knowing what to do only just staring and smiling until you just ran into his arm and hugged him, stuffing your face in his neck.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He said into your hair, you could’ve cried right then and there but you just smiled to yourself and felt at home in his arms. But all good things must come to an end, you two still had a case and Spence knew that so he pulled away first, he never liked touching people or having them touch him but damn were you his only exception. Spencer escorted you out to Hotch and you gave him all of the information he needed to send teams out.

It was over, the year long mission you had, everything came to an end today, and go damn were you happy to see everyone.

-

By the time everyone was in custody and all of the drugs and other illegal things were found it was almost midnight and that was when they let you go home as long as you came back in the morning to give your statements and everything.  Spencer walked you home and you let him stay over, since it was so late and you honestly didn’t wanna watch him go. So that’s how you found yourself on your couch cuddled with Spencer as content as possible.

“Did you ever think about us while you were away?” Spencer broke the silence, looking down at you cuddled into him, you sat up and looked in the eye.

“Of course I did Spence, every single minute of every single day, I missed you so much and I honestly had to fake every single emotion I had because I was so empty without you, I didn’t want to leave you I really didn’t but I had to. Honestly all I wanted to do was say goodbye, but you were on a case and it was such short notice and all I wanted to do was just,” You paused. “I just wanted to kiss you and listen I just god every single time I think about yo-” Spencer cut you off he couldn’t listen after the first statement. He slammed his lips into yours and you kissed him back as if the world was ending, you two fit together like the world’s most perfect puzzle and every single second of that kiss was explosive.

“I’m so sorry I’ve just wanted to do that for so long.” Spencer looked into your eyes as you both broke apart. You just smiled and let out a small breathy laugh.

“I think I liked the kiss hello, better than the kiss goodbye.”

[softnow]

burn and keep quiet

nsfw. rebecca x nathaniel. (ao3) title is taken from this frederico garcía lorca quote. inspired by this prompt from @lozkelly.

“Is that what this is? Is she Reese Witherspoon? Was the elevator not good enough? Too much room for personal space? Did the big movie director in the sky decide to try again, somewhere smaller this time, where there’s no escaping the scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body and the feel of his skin and—”

Of all the things Nathaniel Plimpton III has done to her—buying out her boss, kicking her out of her office, threatening to fire her friends, seducing her in an elevator—Rebecca thinks this might be the cruelest.

For starters, she has a wedding to plan and about two billion pieces of ribbon at home, waiting to be tied into bows for the mason jar candle holders, and the mason jar confetti holders, and the mason jar utensil holders. And what’s more, it’s a Friday night, when she should be with her fiancé and her best friend and miles away from her asshole boss kneeling in the dirt, picking the lock on the back door of the Fifth Street Soup Kitchen.

“Nathaniel!” she whisper-shouts, frantically surveying the parking lot to make sure nobody is coming. “This is illegal!���

“Says the girl who exhumed dead bodies to blackmail a cemetery,” he says, not looking up from the tools he’s using to jimmy the lock.

“Well, technically it was Paula who did most of the exhuming, but that’s—that’s different!”

“How?” he asks, standing and brushing the dirt from his knees. He opens the door with a flourish, beckons her in with an after you gesture. “You knew the cemetery was in the wrong and needed the evidence for a client. I don’t see how this is any different.”

Rebecca huffs, casting her flashlight around the darkened kitchen. One of their biggest accounts, Ransom Dodge-Toyota, a new and used car lot down the road, wants to expand. They’d been on Fifth Street Soup to sell for months, but the kitchen has continually refused, no matter how hard Plimpton, Plimpton, and Plimpton (and Whitefeather & Associates) dogged them. Ransom was getting antsy, and Nathaniel was worried they were close to backing out, and it just so happened that he’d recently gotten a tip that the good folks down on Fifth Street were dealing a bit more than soup.

“Still,” she says. “I don’t know why you needed me for this. Couldn’t you have sent Tim? Or George?”

“Oh, come on, Rebecca, you’re smarter than that,” Nathaniel says in that chiding tone she hates so much. “Tim and George would just screw everything up. As much as it pains me to say it, you’re the best I have. I mean, you did do a good job with the cemetery case.”

She follows him to the small office at the back of the kitchen, simultaneously offended and perversely flattered.

“Plus,” Nathaniel adds, his voice overly casual and his attention fixed on the desk in the center of the room. “I figured, you know, you could probably use some overtime, with the wedding and all.”

Rebecca blinks. “Wow, that’s…not awful.” He shoots her a bemused smile, an eyebrow quirked. For a moment she can almost hear him saying, Don’t be a dick. Then his eyes drop back to the drawer he’s searching, and she wanders to a file cabinet next to the window.

“How’s that going, anyway?” he asks, still perfectly polite. “Pulling off a wedding in two weeks?”

She takes out a file, leafs through it without really seeing anything. She thinks about this morning and how she cried—just a little, an understandable amount for a bride-to-be—when she realized she’d ordered brown yarn instead of twine, which is not, as one might suspect, the same thing at all.

“Oh, it’s great,” she says. “Yeah, so great. It’s so much fun and—and satisfying. Honestly, I think more people should plan their weddings in two weeks. It’s thrilling. Like a rollercoaster. So exhilarating.”

“Yeah,” Nathaniel says, drawing out the word. There’s an edge in his voice, something close to mocking. “Wow, sounds great. And Josh? He’s being helpful?”

“So helpful,” she says. “Or, at least, when he’s there. I mean, he’s just been so busy lately with work, and church basketball, and that’s really important, you know? Helping kids shoot hoops for Jesus.” She mimes a free-throw. “That’s…big. This stuff—wedding, crafty, artsy stuff—it’s not really his thing, but that’s okay, because he trusts me. And loves me. And trusts me.”

“Sounds convincing.” He closes a drawer and turns to the desktop computer, shaking the mouse to wake the monitor.

Rebecca’s forehead wrinkles in frustration. Her mouth opens, closes. She shoves the file in her hand back into the file cabinet.

“Are you sure they’re even dealing, you know—?” She puts a finger to her nose and sniffs, crosses her eyes like she’s dizzy.

“Pretty sure, but not entirely. That’s why we’re here. To find something that proves they’re—wait, what would you say?—a bunch of filthy, flimflamming dope peddlers?”

He gives her a smile—a genuine one, with no hint of malice—and Rebecca can’t help herself. She barks out a laugh and claps a hand over her mouth.

“Is that your impression of me?” she asks, giggling through her fingers.

He shrugs, mock-humble.

Her shoulders heave as she fights to get herself under control. He watches her, smiling. There’s a softness around his eyes that she doesn’t want to interpret, something gentle and pleased. As her laughter dies away, a palpable silence fills the room between them. His smile falters, but his eyes—big and intense and so blue even in this gloomy flashlight-darkness—never leave hers.

Rebecca’s feet take a half-step towards the desk on their own accord. Nathaniel pivots in the desk chair, tracking her movement. She takes another step. He leans forward by a fraction. The back of her hand brushes the corner of the desk.

And the room is thrown into sharp relief, headlights cutting through the gauzy curtains over the window.

Nathaniel’s jerks, leaping up from the chair, and Rebecca looks from the window to him with saucer-like eyes.

“We have to g—”

“No time,” he says. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her around the desk, opening the door to a closet and shoving her inside. It’s small and mostly empty, only a few cardboard boxes stacked in the corner. There’s just enough room for two. He steps in after her and pulls the door shut as they hear the door to the kitchen—the one he picked—open.

They click off their flashlights.

Without the light, the closet is entirely dark, the sort of dark that makes your eyes hurt to look at. Rebecca’s heartbeat sounds too loud in her ears.

“This is your fault,” she hisses, stabbing a finger in the direction she thinks is his chest. “Breaking and entering, are you stupid? If we go to jail—!”

Nathaniel’s hand claps over her mouth as footsteps approach.

“We have to be quiet,” he whispers, his words barely more than a puff of air.

They stand there, barely breathing, his large hand cupping the bottom half of her face. They hear the click of the light switch. A thin golden line appears around the edge of the door, bright enough to ease some of the discomfort of the darkness but not enough to allow Rebecca to see anything.

Beside her, Nathaniel shifts. She feels him lean in to the door, listening. His other hand, the one not currently becoming damp with the perspiration of her breath, comes to rest casually on her lower back.

Rebecca stiffens, thinks, this is not happening. She hears Paula’s voice in her head. It’s happened to Reese Witherspoon, like, eight times.

Is that what this is? Is she Reese Witherspoon? Was the elevator not good enough? Too much room for personal space? Did the big movie director in the sky decide to try again, somewhere smaller this time, where there’s no escaping the scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body and the feel of his skin and—

No. No. No, no, no. She is not going there. She shakes her head to clear it like an Etch-a-Sketch and rubs her mouth against his palm in the process. Okay, no, bad plan. She stands perfectly still instead, making her body into a statue. A perfectly still statue, cold and stony and definitely not feeling any tingles in her stony statue lady limbs. Nope.

On the other side of the closet door, a drawer opens. The mouse clicks. The desk chair creaks under somebody’s weight.

On this side of the closet door, Nathaniel’s thumb moves against her back. She passes it off as a twitch, but then it happens again. And again. And again, until he’s drawing small, gentle circles there.

Statue. Stony. Stony, stony statue. Rebecca squeezes her eyes shut and focuses on the mantra, focuses on keeping her muscles rigid. But then he begins to apply a subtle pressure, and she finds herself wondering if he’s taken massage classes before, because that’s really nice, actually, and she has been tense lately, and her body begins to relax into his touch.

His hand skims up her back, pausing to rub one of her shoulders. Then he brushes his fingertips down her arm, his touch feather-light. She feels her skin reacting, waking up as if for the first time in days. She shifts her weight and leans into the touch.

She feels Nathaniel straighten beside her, and then his mouth is at her ear, his lips brushing the lobe, his words electricity and wind.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we had an invisibility cloak right now?” he whispers.

Rebecca takes a long, slow breath, and she can feel it when he smiles against her. Cocky bastard, thinking he can get her that easily.

She grabs the hand on her mouth and pulls it away, tilting her face to lay her cheek along his. A few days’ worth of stubble scratches at her and she can feel it all the way down to her toes.

“I don’t know,” she whispers back, teasing the shell of his ear with her lips. “I’d settle for a nice, big wand.”

Nathaniel makes a satisfyingly undignified, muted sound low in his throat. His hands find her hips and pull her firmly against him. Outside, the keyboard continues to report rapid bursts of typing, but Rebecca barely registers it. Her world has shrunk to approximately four square feet. She rubs her hands over his chest, feeling the firmness of his muscles, the way they jerk under her touch, before gripping his neck.

The air in the closet is warm, humid, tight. It presses in on her, cradles her, makes her feel a little lightheaded. Makes it easy to forget why this is such a bad idea.

He turns his head at the same time she does, and their mouths come together easily. It’s different from their first kiss, softer. They’re both aware—vaguely—of how important it is to be silent. She fits his bottom lip between both of hers, testing, teasing.

Their last kiss was all pressure, the collision of two orbiting planets. But this… This is fired glass, liquid and raw.

Rebecca presses up onto her toes to get closer, and he helps her, his arms wrapping around her back to support her. He meets her for another chaste kiss and then opens his mouth to her, melting into her as she melts into him. Her hands wind into his hair, nails scrape gently over his scalp, and she feels him shudder against her.

He kisses her until she feels gooey and dumb, all thoughts having packed their bags and headed for the hills. Then he tears his mouth from hers and peppers hot, open-mouthed kisses along her her jaw. He swipes her hair behind her shoulder and secures it against her head with his hand. He kisses her ear and then drops to her neck, finding the pulse point and sucking.

Rebecca takes a rugged breath and exhales a soft moan. Nathaniel freezes. His grip on her tightens.

“Shhh,” he breathes and shifts her backwards until her back touches the wall, moving in slow motion so as to not make any noise.

Outside, a file cabinet drawer slams. They both jump, and then Nathaniel’s on her again, kissing her like a drowning man trying to reach the shore. His hands find the hem of her shirt and hover there.

“Can I?” he whispers against her mouth.

She nods, not trusting herself to speak, not trusting herself not to moan his name the way she so wants to. It’s there, strangled at the back of her throat, and she’s afraid if she stops kissing him for even a moment, it will push its way out and ruin everything.

Nathaniel’s hands dive beneath her shirt, pushing up, up, sliding beneath her bra, cupping her breasts. She jerks and rolls her hips, finds him hard and wanting against her stomach.

Some distant—very, very distant—part of her brain wonders if this is such a good idea. One rando kiss in an elevator is one thing; it was late, their defenses were down. There was the wind. But this… This is a different sort of thing altogether, the sort of thing she moved her wedding up to avoid, the sort of thing that could ruin her forever.

But then Nathaniel’s fumbling with the button on her jeans with one hand while the other continues to massage her breast, and he’s kissing her hard enough to bruise, and his fingers are skimming along her overheated skin, testing the waters, if you will, and she loses all cognitive ability.

“Can you be quiet?” he whispers into the hollow beneath her ear. His breath is rough and hot.

She bites her lip and nods.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she manages, a single exhale of air, and then his fingers curl into her and his mouth comes over hers to swallow the sound of her gasp.

He works her deftly, like he’s a well-trained musician and she’s his favorite instrument. Her hips rock, searching for the right friction. When she finds it, her head falls back, and a choked sound builds somewhere behind her teeth. She clings to his shoulders, and he replaces his mouth with his other hand once again, pressing firmly to keep her silent.

She doesn’t know if her eyes are opened or closed, but it doesn’t matter, because all she knows in this moment is him. His overheated skin, his long fingers, his hungry mouth that seems to be everywhere at once—this is what makes up her entire universe.

Her climax washes in like the sea, wave upon wave of rolling pleasure, and Nathaniel buoys her through it with the attention and skill of a long-time lover. When she finally comes down, she sags against him. Her legs feel not altogether present, like perhaps they’ve been detached and hidden here in the dark somewhere.

He keeps her pinned to the wall with his body. His hand slips from her mouth to cradle her jaw, and his lips find hers once more in the darkness. The kiss is unhurried and gentle, a stark contrast to the way he’d devoured her only moments ago.

She may be sated and soft, but she can feel him, and he’s anything but. Her hands fall to his waist, sliding along his belt, and he gasps into her mouth when she takes ahold of the buckle.

On the other side of the door, the desk chair creaks. There’s a whiss as it’s pushed in, then footsteps. The one-two click of the light switch and the doorknob follow. The sliver of golden light framing the closet door disappears, and they freeze, listening.

A minute passes. Two. No sound.

“I think they’re gone,” Nathaniel murmurs, his voice low and rough. It makes her ache.

“Mm..hmm. Yeah.”

“We need to get out of here.”

He moves away from her and the air that rushes to fill the space he’d occupied is cold, sobering. His flashlight clicks on, and Rebecca is momentarily blinded. When her eyes adjust, she sees him leaning against the door, ear to the wood, checking. Her stomach clenches.

He looks like he’s been through a wind tunnel. His hair, normally so neat, juts in all directions. His shirt is rumbled, halfway untucked, and when did the top two buttons come undone? Rebecca tries to remember and can’t. His mouth is red, lips swollen and damp. When he meets her gaze, his eyes are heavy and a little unfocused.

The realization crushes her like a cow tossed from the tornado of her own self-hate. They just— He just— She just…

Nathaniel must see it on her face, because he carefully schools his features and straightens his shirt, retucking it as best he can with one hand.

“I think we’re clear,” he says and pushes the door open.

They both tense, but the office is empty. They spill from the closet. Rebecca glances down and feels her throat tighten with shame. Her pants are still undone. She zips and snaps them with shaking fingers.

With her back to him, she forces out, as evenly as she can, “What about the evidence?”

“Forget it,” he says. “This was obviously a bad plan.”

He means because they almost got caught breaking and entering, she’s sure. And yet there’s a twinge in her gut like small, icy knife when she considers what else he could mean. Which makes no sense, because she shouldn’t care if he thinks that was a mistake. Because it absolutely, one hundred percent was a mistake. A horrible mistake. An awful, stupid, intense, thrilling, mind-blowing mistake that she’s definitely not going to think about later in the shower as she—

Needs to leave. Right now.

Nathaniel follows her out into the night, taking care to lock the door behind them. She’s halfway to the sidewalk, making a beeline for her car stashed inconspicuously in the parking lot of a church down the street, when he catches up to her.

“Rebecca—”

“Nope,” she says, not slowing, not looking at him. “We’re not doing this.”

“Hmm, too late for that,” he says.

His tone is infuriatingly casual, ridiculously smug, and she spins on her toe to jab a finger into his chest as she says, “Nothing. Happened. Okay? Nothing. We did nothing.”

Nathaniel holds his hands up in submission, but he doesn’t look chastised one bit, and his hair is still mussed, and she cannot look at him right now. She resumes her angry speed-walk, shoulders hunched, hands balled into swinging fists at her sides. He doesn’t try to stop her. She doesn’t acknowledge the disappointment blooming in her ribcage.

She’s at her car when he calls out into the night, “Oh, have fun with your wedding planning! Hope it’s as satisfying as doing nothing!”

Rebecca flips him off with both hands before flinging herself into the driver’s seat and slamming the door. She doesn’t look in the rearview mirror as she peels out of the parking lot. Just like she doesn’t think about the patch of skin where her neck meets her shoulder that is red and raw from his scruff.

She doesn’t sleep at all when she gets home. She stays up all night, ties two hundred mason jar bows. She only cries twice. She tells herself it’s the most fun she’s ever had.

[lordsicheng]

100 Ways to Say I Love You / 74 - Kim Donghan

Kim Donghan x OC

74 - “We can share.”

Word count: 1,159

It took you a few minutes to realize it was your brother’s birthday tomorrow. You were horrible on remembering dates because you’ve been so busy with school related stuff that you almost forgot what day of the week it was. Even your weekends were pretty packed with projects and paper works, making you have less time to spend with your friends and family

“Y/n, have you gotten your brother a gift yet?” your mom asked, walking in on you doing a paper for one of your classes

“I haven’t got the time” you sighed, focusing on your paper

“Do you want to go to the mall with me and find a gift for him?” she smiled as she walked over to your side

“Is it okay if you just get one for me and write it as a gift from me?” you turned to look at her

“Whatever you say. It won’t be the same if you don’t pick it yourself.” your mom sighed as she walked out of your room

You realized you actually do at least need to buy something for your brother since he has been nothing but good to you your whole life. You tapped your pen on your paper impatiently as you had to think what you needed to do next

“Hey, mom! Wait up!”

-

Your mom literally dragged you with her to a department store that sold clothes that were quite too expensive for your taste, but since your mom wanted to give her son something that he is sure to wear, you couldn’t help but look at all the fancy shirts and coats that made you feel as if your mom was too ambitious for her son’s future

“Mom… why did we go here?” you slowly asked as you followed her around

“Your brother told me once he needed formal attire for his graduation, so I’m looking around.” she replied as she stopped by some pretty expensive looking tuxedos

“Mom it’s for his graduation, not his wedding.” you chuckled as you turned to look around and try to find something else as a gift

“Could you find a tie for him over there, dear?” your mom said as she pointed to the ties section, making you chuckle and just go

You found different varieties of ties: striped, polka dotted, printed and patterned, and this fascinated you. You always thought ties only came in solid colors, so you just ended up browsing through lots of ties until you saw a familiar face nearby

“Donghan?” you called the young man who had his back turned to you

“Yes?” he said as he turned, only to begin getting shy once he saw you

“O-oh… y/n…. hey…” he said as he gave an awkward chuckle

“Funny how we end up meeting at the men’s ties’ section.” you laughed as you looked at the ties displayed on your side

“Why are you here, though?” Donghan looked around

“It’s my brother’s birthday, remember? Unless you’re not going to his birthday party tomorrow.” you shrugged

“No! I’m going.” he smiled awkwardly, trying to avoid your gaze. You noticed how he seemed a bit nervous, and you just chuckled as you stare at him

“Donghan, are you embarrassed to meet your classmate’s older sister other than outside his home?” you asked, smiling

“I just haven’t seen you in a long while, y/n.” he said, acting as if he was browsing through the ties

“You’re acting as if you have a crush on me.” you joked, shaking your head

“I don’t have a crush on you!” Donghan insisted, and you just ended up laughing at his sudden snap

“Take it easy, I’m just joking around.” you smiled as you slowly walked away to find your mom

“See you tomorrow, Donghan.” you said as you walked away, making Donghan a bit embarrassed of what he just said

Little did you know was that he always made reasons to your brother to hang out at your place just to see you. He developed a small crush on you after a few visits, but he became quite gloomy once he noticed you were barely around at home after you started college. He looked at you walk away, mentally slapping himself on why he suddenly insisted on not liking you when he had the chance to admit.

-

“Happy Birthday, Donghyun!” your brother’s friends exclaimed once they brought out his birthday cake

“Thanks, guys. Thanks, mom and dad.” your brother smiled as he blew the candles

“Where’s y/n?” he asked, looking around to see any sign of you

“Your sister’s gonna be here later than expected. She can’t skip her classes or else she’ll lose her scholarship.” your mom said as she patted your brother’s shoulder

“Dude, sorry I’m late!” Donghan ran as he put his gift by a table near Donghyun, and Donghyun just laughed

“It’s alright, man. Thanks for coming.” Donghyun smiled as he hugged Donghan

Your brother just decided on having a simple celebration; your mom’s home cooked dishes, a few close friends over, some relatives that had the time to visit also came, and just a chill party overall. Donghan was looking around often to see if you had arrived, only to realize that you were at school longer than expected. Once you got home, you immediately went to the backyard and saw everyone already gathered up

“Y/n! You’re home! After two and a half hours, yikes.” Donghyun smiled as he stood up

“Happy birthday, idiot.” you chuckled as you went over to Donghyun and gave him a hug as you put your gift to the table in front of him

“You’re quite late?” Donghyun raised a brow

“I’m sorry for being born first and for going to college first.” you rolled your eyes, making Donghyun laugh

“Whatever, sis.” he smiled

You gave a light chuckle as you went over to where the cake was. You just wanted to eat the cake because you already ate a proper meal back at school, so after classes ended, you directly went home and didn’t bother to dress up or anything. You honestly thought you looked horrible that time because of all the stress you’ve been having the whole day at school, but Donghan saw you come near and to him, you were still beautiful in his eyes.

You noticed that there was only one slice left, and it was on Donghan’s small plate. He saw you look at the now empty cake stand, and then to him

“It’s alright, you can have the last slice.” you smiled as you turned to walk away

“Wait, y/n.” Donghan said as he slowly walked to you and you turned to look at him again

 “We can share.”

 You chuckled as you looked at him, his face getting flushed from staring at you.

“Would you really share your cake with me?” you smiled as you crossed your arms

“Hey, it’s you.” he shrugged as he chuckled

[cowchopimagine]

Because I Love You — Asher x Reader

"17 with Asher boy?" Requested by: @modestcowchop Word count: 3,124

TW for abuse. ----- Outside of the library window, the clouds shifted in the sky. They drifted over the blazing sun and blocked out its blinding glow. Four of the eight lights that hung overhead didn't work, so the storm clouds rolling in only made third period even more dark and gloomy than it usually was. You hadn't minded though. Somehow the thought of rain was calming to you. "What are you doing after school?" Asher said, making you quit your absent-minded staring into space. You looked at him, startled, but he didn't seem to be phased. "Nothing. I'll probably sleep." Your house was rather boring. When the internet was on, it could be fun, because you didn't have to rely on having a paid phone bill to text and tend to your social media, but when your family couldn't scrape up the money to afford it, there wasn't much else to do. Your dad was almost never home, and whenever he did finally leave the bars and come back to the house, he didn't talk to anyone. All he did was stare at the TV, using the second-hand DVD player to watch the same old movie he had seen a thousand times. He didn't even speak to your mother, who was so fed up with her marriage that all she did was go off on anybody who talked to her, especially you. You always had the suspicion that she didn't like you because you ruined her life. Before she got pregnant, she was cheer captain and class president. She had friends and parents who told her they loved her, who spoiled her to no end. For whatever reason, she ended up with your dead-beat father who your parents already didn't like and she ended up pregnant with you before she even graduated high school. Those friends that she had suddenly stopped talking to her and her parents refused to let her back into their house. When she turned eighteen, she married your dad, but only because there weren't many other options. You thought she really must regret not leaving you on somebody's doorstep. It made you wonder how happy she could have been if she had just never even met him.

"Want to come over?" Asher asked you, fingers fidgeting with the corner of his notebook on the desk in front of you. You liked Asher, sometimes maybe more than you were supposed to. He always pulled out all the stops for you, no half-assing anything. You didn't know why he did so much for you, but you figured that, at this point, it was out of habit. The two of you had been friends for so long, how could it have been because of anything else? That's what you would wonder sometimes — if these little things he always did were just because he was kind, and not because you had known him for a few years. He stared at you eagerly. "Want to go out and do something? Or you could just come over..." Stuff like that is what had you questioning his true feelings. The way he'd look so caught in suspense whenever he'd ask if you wanted to hang out made you so suspicious. You couldn't tell if he wanted you to say yes or no. "Okay," you shrugged, trying to act casual, but also trying to subtly read his mood. "That sounds better than going to my house." Asher didn't know much about your home life. He would meet you outside your house sometimes and had maybe seen your mom at school once or twice, but other than that he didn't know and wouldn't ask. You don't know whether or not he thought that you even had a dad, since he so rarely left the house, but you were glad that they must have never seen each other. You don't know what would've happened if your father were to see Asher in the house one day. He didn't like people, let alone teenaged boys.

"Cool, how about we meet at my house after school and then we decide from there?" He smiled. Nearly every time he did that you couldn't help but feel your body relax and your heart melt. "Sounds good." The shrill sound of the bell ringing snapped your attention away from Asher, whose happy grin became a slightly disappointed poker face. You gathered up your folders and notebooks and pushed in your chair in the very back of the library. Now you needed to sneak out of the room without the librarian noticing where you were, since he was always yelling at kids for sitting behind the bookshelf where he couldn't see them. Asher nodded to you, signalling that you could leave first. It had to be done one at a time. "See you later." You waved before disappearing from the fiction section. You heard him say a quiet goodbye. Fourth period dragged on for so long. So did fifth period, and sixth period, even your seventh period, which you usually enjoyed. Fridays either went by faster than you wanted them to or they lasted longer than the whole week combined, there was no in-between. Since you couldn't wait to leave school and go hang with Asher, the minutes took their sweet time passing. Having something to do was a sure-fire way to fast forward through the weekend that you had spent five long, hard days waiting for. Still, you didn't mind if it meant that you got to be with someone you liked and not at your place, surrounded by people who couldn't stand you. After exiting the school building, backpack slung over your shoulder, you started your walk home. Before you left to Asher's you needed to get some things. It also wouldn't hurt to tell your mother where you would be, even if she wouldn't come looking for you if you hadn't.

The street was warily quiet, all except for the distant hissing or some kind of bug. The neighbours were probably still at work. Sometimes when you walked down Pierre Avenue they were all on their front porches with their friends or out in their yard with their kids. It wasn't uncommon to smell the overwhelming scent of grilled food wafting through the Denver air. With the amount of smoke rising from backyards it was nearly impossible to tell who exactly was making hotdogs. Your house was the last one on the street, which was a good thing, since it wasn't nearly as well-kept as the rest. Everything in the tiny garden was shrivelled or eaten away by bugs. The yard was filled with patches of yellowing, dead grass. Nobody would ever be sitting outside on the front porch, waiting for you to come home, partially because there was no where to sit. You cautiously walked up to the front door. From the outside, the windows looked darkened, so you figured your mother was either sleeping or not home from work yet. You hoped for the latter, so there wasn't a chance that you would accidentally wake her coming down the hallway. She was such a light sleeper, and having the room right next to hers didn't help much. You didn't feel like listening to her yell at you today. You carefully pulled open the screen door, taking your keys from your front pocket. When you managed to find the key to the front door you unlocked it and slowly pushed against it. In the front room there was no sign of your mother or father, only a dirty futon and a really old TV, the kind that you couldn't lift unless you had help. Without closing the door all the way, you began to creep down the nearby hall to your bedroom. It was by far the smallest room in the entire house, but you couldn't expect very much, since the place wasn't very big to begin with. Besides, you didn't have very many things to store, anyway. Up against the furthest wall, underneath a window to the backyard, was your bed, and beside it was a tiny dresser. Your laptop, probably the nicest thing you own, was balanced on top. You went over to the bed and set your backpack down so you could change out of your school uniform. The only hoodie you had clean was halfway over your head when you heard something slam down the hallway. There was no doubt that your mom had just come home and, needless to say, she was in a bad mood. Maybe something happened at work or you forgot to do something you were supposed to, maybe she was only pissed off because she had to come home to her loveless marriage and life-ruining child. Whatever was the cause of her anger didn't matter, because all you knew was that she was going to take out her frustrations on you. "(Y/N)!" She called and started walking around on the hardwood floor of the front room with her heels on. "Get in here!" The sound of her voice alone made you anxious. You could feel your shoulders tense as you pulled the rest of your hoodie down and opened your bedroom door. "Yes, m'am?" You tried to keep the fear from showing when you spoke. "What the fuck are you going around leaving the door wide open for? Are you thick, brat?"

You only intended to leave it open for a minute or two, then you were going to come right back out and leave for Asher's place. There was no use explaining that to her, though. "I'm sorry, m'am, I thought I closed it." You saw her raise her hand, sending it colliding with your left cheek, wedding ring and all. Still, you didn't budge. It was easier to take it than to try and fight her off. In her eyes, this was how children should be disciplined. That's okay, though, because soon you'd be eighteen and graduated and you could go live where ever you wanted after that. "I don't know how you thought you closed it when the screen door is hanging open, too. Do you have any idea how much I pay to have a roof over your nappy ass head?" "No, m'am." "That's what I thought, because if you knew how much money I have to spend on you, you wouldn't stay doing this dumb shit." It mustn't have been too much, since half the time she didn't bother to buy food or pay the water bill.

"I'm sorry." "No, you aren't. You never are. You wouldn't care if somebody came in here and took everything in this house." She flings her shoes off by the door with a loud clack. "Ungrateful brat. Get out of my house." You didn't have to be told twice, especially since that was your intention, anyway. With no words to say to her, you quietly skirted past your mother and walked out the front door, making a point to slam the door behind you. She didn't come out, but you could hear her yell a stream of curse words at you from the other side. It probably wasn't the best idea to come around your place for a while, the weekend, at least. Where you were going to go, you weren't sure. You'd hate to bother Asher with your problems, even if you'd stayed the night before on similar occasions. Jakob was grounded, so he wasn't an option. You figured maybe Trevor could sneak you into his basement for a night, but you would have to be extra quiet since his brother also sleeps down there and would surely snitch you out. Trevor was also grounded, for the same reason Jakob was. You didn't have data, so you'd have to wait until you got to Asher's to call Trevor. No matter what he said, tonight would be fun regardless. Even if you ended up sleeping on a bench in the park, you and Asher were going to have a good time.

This time when you walked down the street, school kids were playing basketball and drawing on the sidewalk with colourful chalks. An occasional car passed you up on the road. The neighbours were always so friendly. When they saw you passing from their porches they smiled and waved. You knew they recognised you, but you wondered if they knew what house you came from. Thankfully, Asher didn't live very far from you. The walk from your street to his was only about seven minutes. You were so bored on the way over that you sometimes counted to see if you could get their any faster. On a good day, you could get there in six minutes. When you finally pulled up to his front steps, you're out of breath. You weren't sweating, though. When you knocked it sounded just a little bit more forceful than you intended, but only because of your loud panting. A few seconds later, Asher opens the front door, a huge smile on his face. "Hey, (Y/N)." He said as he stepped aside so you could come in. As you passed him you could feel him staring, and he tilted his head. "Shit, what happened to your face?" You give him a confused look. He was joking, right? Nothing had happened to your face. "What do you mean?" "You have a huge gash on your cheek. It's, like, bleeding." Suddenly you remembered what happened. Your mom's wedding ring must have cut you when she slapped you. How could you not have noticed? Asher took his phone out of his back pocket and slid over to the camera to show you. "See?" Sure enough, there was a long, deep scratch starting from almost near your ear and ending towards your nose. You couldn't believe you hadn't realised that it stung until just now. From one end of the cut, a small drop of blood trailed down your face, so slowly that it barely moved at all. It was only about halfway down your cheek and the injury happened at least eight minutes ago. "Oh, shit, how did that happen?" You tried to play dumb. Asher seemed to buy it, because he told you to follow him to the kitchen to clean it up. "Maybe you accidentally scratched yourself and just didn't notice." "Probably. I've been meaning to clip my nails."

The kitchen was just as lovely as it had been the last time you were over. The marble countertops were polished so well that you could see your reflection in them as you passed. Asher's parents finally got the old cabinets redone a darker colour. They looked almost brand new. Even the tile had a luxurious shine to it, unlike the kitchen floor of your house — busted and better off just taken out. Asher tore off a paper towel from the dispenser by the empty sink and he wet it under the faucet. The water was crystal clear. "Come here." You stepped closer to him and allowed him to place the wet towel on your cut. He hissed as he cleaned it. "Damn, you got yourself good, (Y/N)." His hands were so gentle. "Hold this while I go get you a bandaid." When Asher moved away, you almost felt disappointed for some reason. You kind of liked him being so close, especially since you knew he wouldn't hurt you. Something about him made you feel safe. You figured it was just because you'd been his best friend for ages and so you trusted him. Part of you wanted to think that you felt something else, but of course, you ignored it. While Asher walked up the stairs, you took out for phone. Might as well call Trevor while you're alone, you thought. His number was one of your most recents, and in seconds you were using your free hand to push your phone up to your ear.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Just when you considered hanging up, you heard the other line click. "Hello?" Trevor yawns. He must've fallen asleep right after school. It was probably so boring being grounded. "Trevor, hey!" "Oh, hey, (Y/N)." "I'm surprised you answered, since you're grounded and all." "I'm using my old phone." Figured. "Oh, lucky. Well, I was kind of wondering if maybe I could crash at your place tonight? I'm sorry to force myself on you, but I'm kind of in a spot right now..." There was a thump from Trevor's line. "Sorry, I can't tonight. My brother is having a party in the basement and somebody would definitely notice if you were to stay in my room."

Disappointed, you nod. You needed to find somewhere else to go, and you didn't have many other options. "It's fine. Thanks anyway, though." "I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you some other time! I've got to go right now. If my dad catches me on the phone, I'll get this one taken away, too." He said. "Text you later?" "Yeah, bye, Trevor." You hung up and slid your phone back into the pocket of your hoodie. Now what were you going to do? It was time to start considering the alternatives. Again, the park bench- "(Y/N)?" Asher called to you from the archway of the kitchen, bandages in hand. Startled, you whipped your head around to where he was standing. "Oh, thanks, Asher." Relieved that it was only him and not his parents or sister, you stepped forward and he unwrapped the bandaid before putting it on you. You were going to look so dumb walking around with a bandaid on your face.

"You know you can just stay here tonight, right? My mom doesn't mind, she loves you." It felt awkward knowing he had heard your conversation with Trevor. Now he probably wanted to know what kind of heat you were in to where you couldn't go to your own house. You were a little shy, although you nodded anyway. It was embarrassing pushing yourself on him like this. "Thank you." You told him. "You have no idea how much this means to me." "It's no big deal. You're always welcome to stay here." You smiled and engulfed him in a tight, but friendly hug. "Why are you so fucking nice to me? I don't deserve you." "Because I love you! You know that." You didn't, but you loved the sound of him saying that and the way those words made you feel. You didn't have the energy or the heart to argue them. Instead you separated from the hug and together the two of you started heading toward the steps for Asher's bedroom. "Want to play some video games?"

----- Why the fuck is this so long? This was my first time writing for Asher and it only took me a day or two, so sorry if it's not very good. I wasn't sure how to end the story because it was already getting kind of long and I wasn't sure if people would read something that's over 4,000 words. The good news about that is that I've gotten another Asher request, so if you're unsatisfied with this ending, maybe the other one will be better. I think I'm going to go for a more romantic route for that one instead of hinting at something like I did in this one. I'll be editing this tomorrow after school, since I don't have time right now and tumblr messes up the formatting when I move in things from Wattpad.

[byul-bit-arae]

11 Questions Tag

(THIS GOT SO LONG I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL OTL)

So a few days ago I got tagged by the beautiful @ramune-and-rain to do this 11 Questions Tag, so here we go!!

1. Would you rather explore the many planets in the universe or explore the wonderous depths of our oceans. Tbh I love the ocean but bc I'm not the best swimmer out there and also bc I'm kind of so inlove with astronomy I'd rather explore the universe~ 2. Can you describe your favourite colour without saying what it is and it’s shades. idk how am I supposed to do that but, I'd say it's really comfortable, a common choice for clothes, not light but totally not the darkest, some people link it to gloominess or indecisiveness 3. Your bias texts you, mistaking your number for one of their friend’s. Do you talk to them and keep up an act or do you admit the mistake? How do you do it? What happens after? Considering I know it's my bias that is messaging me? Or as in just my crush? Either ways I'd tell them they've got the wrong number, but also make sure not to make them feel embarrassed for the mistake. Try to be as kind as possible and laugh it off, if they keep on messaging me after I'd gladly chat with them but if they don't I wouldn't initiate a conversation, I tend to think of this kind of stuff as bothersome often 4. Describe your favourite feature of one of your best friends without saying what it is. Why? Omg I'm so bad at this ;_; well it's probably the feature you'd want the most in a best friend, and since they have it it makes you really comfortable when you're with them, you don't need to bluff or hide anything, it also makes them the first person to pop in your head whenever something happens. Okay so I believe I can say what it is now that I'll be saying why it's my favorite It's being able to tell them every single thing, even if it's embarrassing or your most top secret. I've literally cried my eyes out during some conversations with Nana. Whenever things get really tough or I'm just feeling uneasy or sad she'd always be there to listen to whatever blahblah I have to say and comfort me and make me feel better about myself I love her so much idk what I'd do without her she's like my personal psychologist (SHOUTOUT TO MY BABY NABI;;;;) 5. What super power would you have and how would you use it? Would you choose the path of a hero or villain? I'd like to fly/float and just get away from all the noise and chaos and fly up to somewhere peaceful and meditate this is like what I want to do every single day. I'd be a villain but not a violent rough one, more like quiet cold one 6. What are 3 things includes in your ideal type? Why? Would you accept someone without these features?

1/ height I'm 170cm and that's considered rather tall where I live so I'm often bothered by that so I'd like someone tall to make me look shorter

2/ beautiful smile One of the things I notice first about someone is their smile *cough my crush cough* I find a mischievous wide smile really charming

3/ spontaneous affection (?) I didn't know what to call this but I just mean someone whom being really gentle and loving is in their nature. Honestly I don't think I'd ever accept someone shorter than me, I can omit the smile thing bc if you like someone, their looks just grow to be perfect to you but height and gentleness are necessities for me 7. Vampires, Werewolves or witches? If you could become one, which would you choose and why? Witches!! Reason is that I'm not into neither vampires not werewolves lol and witches are cool when they cast spells 8. If you released a mini album with 4 songs, what would the song titles be? (I will fight whoever says this is Astro influenced but I gotta say it's an epic coincidence) 01. Pleiades A short dreamy-ish track that's good to listen to at night under the starlight. 02. Summer Vibes *title Actually me and my bffs were playing this game where we pick a word/theme and make a song out of it and I clearly remember the song I created with 'summer'. A happy go lucky song about having fun during summer. 03. Flower Bees are attracted to flowers, but while C is a flower, A isn't a bee, so they keep on unconsciously playing with their feelings. (credits to my bff on this) 04. Midnight Thoughts A slow sad song, where I talk about my worries and insecurities, something like Agust D's The Last. 9. Describe what you feel right now by using a metaphor without including the word to describe how you are feeling. It feels like there is a tsunami a few meters away, heading towards me, and all I got to face it is a small life vest. 10. Your bias from one group confesses to you in front of your bias from another group. They quickly confess their love. Who do you choose? They cannot be your Ult bias. Wow that's a toughie. Let's say, moonbin and hansol(Vernon).. tbh I'd hate making either of them upset, but I think I'd choose hansol??? idk if it's bc I've been a carat longer than an aroha but, through the seven years I spent in this hell of a world called kpop I figured out my type is the one that looks so cool but is actually a clumsy ass weird cinnamon roll (reasons my ult is taehyung lmao) also hansol can speak English and I'm hella comfortable with that, it's not even my first nor second language but I always find myself expressing stuff in eng, plus hansol looks more like someone I can take care of (bc this kid shouldn't be left alone at all costs omg) I believe I read somewhere that bin wants to be the one taking care of his s/o but tbh I like things the other way round im such a mom lmao. I'm not the best at explaining but I'm just trying to say I'd choose mist probably choose hansol.

11. Finally, your bias promises to on a date with you on the condition that you plan it. Plan the entire night. (Where you go, why, what you eat, what you wear, the other places you go, what you talk about, any other details etc).

Oh so it's a "night" date? I'd rather have a daytime one but here we go!! We'd first spend the evening in a carnival-like place?? You know all the cute game booths and the cute Mickey ears headbands and the cute balloons (just so much cute fite me) then we'd have dinner in a somewhat fancy place nearby (leaving all the ears and balloons in the car ofc we tryna be fancey here) then we'd move to a quieter place, like a park or something, where we enjoy the night sky and chat every now and then, and finally and bc i get easily sleepy huhu;;; we go back home and cuddle to sleep :3 My Questions: (Look I'm so bad at asking questions I literally googled half of these) 1. If you were prime minister/ruler if the world,what rules would you make? 2. What would be your super hero name? And how would your outfit look like? 3. How would you describe your ideal wedding? What would your love house look like? 4. You have a two weeks fully paid holiday to one country of your choice, which one would you choose? Why? 5. What's in your bag/purse/school bag? 6. If you could create an ice cream flavor what would it be called? What would it taste like? 7. Would you rather trade your looks for intelligence or your intelligence for looks? 8. Choose one: being a professional patissier, being a talented painter/artist, being a famous fashion designer 9. You meet your bias in your country, they are lost and ask for your help. Do you fangirl? Do you ask for a picture? Do you pretend you don't know them? What do you do? 10. You're making a love song, write down four lines from it 11. What's a plot you'd really like to write but never had motivation for

So bc I'm lonely here and I don't even know 11 tumblrs I'm just going to tag some senpais I follow fml @astrofireworks @artist-aroha @dxnghyuns @kpopangst @earlygreytae

And if you happen to run into this post you're free to answer my questions too if you want!!!