#idk like the whole concept just makes me nauseous

[hello-kuni]

my favorite little fact is that many body horror enthusiasts hate the human centipede franchise bc it’s “too far and just grotesque” (paraphrased)

[vilelittlecritter]

About half the reblogs are about 73 yards and I'm sorry to break it to you but I don't really like 73 yards that much..

No hate to the episode I thought it was cool as an idea but wasn't really well done in my opinion

Firm believer that doctor who should get fucked up and unnerving on the regular

[lu-kario]

today my dear followers who did not ask for this,

A Very Honest Slenderman(2018) Review!!!

by a creepypasta fanatic and someone who needs to think about smth else to not k- moving onto the "review". (it's not a real review i'm just gonna shit on it obviously)

It's just gonna be a list of things I noticed that bothered me throughout the whole film and made it physically difficult to watch. That was the second movie that took me two days to watch not because I was scared, but because it hurt my brain to finish it. ((((also yes. i am very . VERY . late to the party. i know. don't worry)))

Starting off, the characters are not likeable at all. None of them. They don't behave like actual teenagers. Someone from that directing team was observing high school students for a week with a notepad and was done after thinking they did a good job. I may or may not be autistic and not behave like that either but I've been in high school and have seen stuff. Obviously.

Second of all who just watches adult vids and calls it a night with friends wtf-

Not important . Maybe someone does?? Also these teenagers are created to be so edgy for absolutely no reason ((pointing out that line from ginger girlie saying that the cat should've exploded at the end i'm so fkn glad she was gone first)).

Another thing. Let's get to the star of the mfing show,,, Slenderman .

What they made of him was some kind of a,,, dryad?? Like there's legit some Slenderman Tree in the woods that he walks out of to collect kids and bear them with his big ol' self. Don't get me wrong that concept would be cool on it's own if not the thing that. It doesn't suit him at all. And the Slenderman Summoning Video as well- wth was that . You're telling me some bells (something added for the sake of the movie I suppose bcuz i never heard of that) with added five stock images of what'd you get if you typed 'illuminati' giving you a high speed seizure attack are gonna summon this big boy? The reactions are so hilarious to me as well WHY WERE THESE GIRLS PANTING AS IF THE DAMN SLENDERMAN WAS THERE WITH THEM give me a break. That would hint at least Slendy is some kind of . illuminati-ish experiment left off in the local woods grabbing kids to expand the tree for decades? i suppose.

Mostly what they did with him is giving marble hornets series but make it a on-budget parody that relies for it's damn life on shock value- flashing images constantly, having those ominous shots to make you feel something and lemme tell you i did feel something(nauseous). Also having the original contest images in the film was fucking hilarious so uh +1 for that but that's the only thing i actually liked.

Yet another thing! Nothing in this movie felt genuinely connected to each other,, if it was an artistic interpretation or smth idk i think i wouldn't mind as much but don't be calling this a damn full fleshed out movie.

The Slendy in this movie felt like a totally different being than the original it was sad to watch.

the effects were ,,,alright? like nothing to hate but nothing specific about it to like . it was just alright at best.

very last thing unless i've decided i remembered smth else-

THE LIGHT WORK IN THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING TERRIBLE I HAD MY SCREEN LIGHT SET ON MAX AND STILL COULDN'T SEE A DAMN THING AND GUESS WHAT? THAT WAS THRU OUT LIKE 80% OF THE DAMN MOVIE

enough of that no matter if you enjoyed the ranting have a great day dont watch this movie unless you wanna suffer uhhhh have this cool cat pic of my cat idk what to put here anymore

edit

oh yeah i remember now

WHY DID SLENDY WALKED SO SEDUCTIVELY.............WHAT,

bro was swinging his hips seducing the victims i am done goodbye

[babsvibes]

What are your favorite tropes? What are your least favorite tropes? I CAN DO IT, TOO, YOU KNOW!

Lmao you got me there 😭💕 Most of them are romance tropes because what can I say. Am slut for romcom 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Love love love

Bickering like an old married couple

Unnaturally intelligent pets that enact the will of god (read: the author doesn’t want them together yet, so the dog has to warm up to a character before they’ll let them anywhere near another character. Or a cat that hates everyone doesn’t hate This person)

Trapped in an elevator/snowed in/forced proximity

Denial. Any form of it. All day. Every day.

“I know you. The good and the bad. And I want it all.”

Jealousy/Possessive behavior

Idk the word for this but when two enemies grow closer while one of them is disguised. Yes like in Megamind

Not using first names except in Very Intimate Moments

Pirates. Monsters. Idk, not together but they seemed like they belonged on the same line

Belligerent sexual tension (slap-slap-kiss)

Exploration of morally gray or nuanced ethics

Stealing clothes

Loooove so much the concept of running away and its many iterations, which really is just a form of denial now that I think about it

The “oh no he’s hot” moment, which I enjoy more than an italicized “oh” moment

No Thanks (maybe I can do them in specific settings like if my friends write these, but I’ll probably never write one)

Arranged marriage where there’s no way out of it

Public humiliation as a punishment for wrongdoing

Whump fic, especially if things just Keep Happening to a character that has no agency of their own

I call it “Rebel Character in Oppressive Situation is Always Wrong.” Just any time I’m reading and a systemically under-served/POC/woman/queer character is consistently losing or being proven wrong without a win to balance it out… Blegh, throw it back

Unplanned pregnancy when it wasn’t the original plot. Like a “18 chapters in and suddenly she wakes up nauseous” situation. (although I don’t mind a “one night stand, time skip five years, gasp a secret kid the dad didn’t know about??” Pregnancy itself is just not for me)

Enemies 👏 that 👏 stop 👏 the 👏 banter 👏 after 👏 getting 👏 together 👏 will 👏 make 👏 me 👏delete 👏 a 👏 bookmark 👏 “I know you held a knife up to my neck once but now you’re my cuddly sweetie pie honey bear who could do no wrong” go to hell.

Miscommunication where it’s like “Character A is trying to say something but Character B won’t let them get a word in edge wise, so Character A gives up even though one (1) sentence would clear up the whole mess.”

[nakedbibi333]

Hello. My person is also a celebrity and there’s something that kind of bothers me. First I just want to say that I feel so connected to my person. I believe in stuff like soulmates and I really deeply know that he is the one for me. But at the start of this journey around 2 years ago I was in a horrid mindset. Like doubts, negativity, etc.. and I formed this belief that this person who he is shipped with is better for him. it comes in a “what if” anxiety kind of thought. It’s something I have struggled with for a while, I have gotten much better in my mindset thought and I’m here doing the best that I can everyday to change my inner world, including this belief and many other limitations. He is an idol. And in the idol world you hear and see a lot of things about dating scandals, random marriages lol and in the beginning of knowing him I had intense anxiety about that happening. I even stopped myself half way through at the start because I was so scared of that happening. I mean who wants to see someone that they are in love with with someone else, the thought makes me nauseous tbh. I get intrusive thoughts every now and then about my fears being true. I have been repeating affirmations and doing my self concept which has helped me so much in a few days. Have you ever faced such beliefs/thought with knowing your person? I truly am in love with him and he makes me feel beautiful in a way that I can’t describe. I have this thing I call inner guidance, and actually this may sound funny but it is what started all of this by telling me that me and __ are meant to be lol. And it’s a really positive internal talk that reassures me. This whole thing of what if someone is better for him, those kinds of thoughts has been tripping me slightly though. I feel that I have come so far with him and their have been many signs/synchronizations with him, and idk he has really changed who I am within in so many ways. Like imagining me and him together really puts my whole world of dreams together. I just wanted to chat with someone about it. I apologize that there may be no direct question just talking. I think I just want to know have you struggled in this way as well? Or any advice to get through those kind of thoughts? Or maybe just want to vent about how you feel with your person too because I could go on about my feelings for mine 25/7 lol!:)

Hi!! First I want to say, the wonderful thing about your message is that your 3D world is your previous beliefs being physically reflected. Basically, by believing that they are your soulmate, you are manifesting that as the truth in your reality, which is the reason why you frequently get signs and confirmations about this. (This is wonderful because it means you're successfully manifesting these beliefs into your reality!)

Now, when it comes to manifesting celebrities, you need to be able to ignore the 3D and only focus on your desired reality. It doesn't matter what the media says, what other fans say, or what you see from public info. You need to focus on the idea that they love you, that they're meant to be with you, and that they only want to be with you. But, it's okay and normal to react and to be jealous, but continuing to shift your focus and thoughts back to your desired reality will keep you on track no matter what.

So, remove the belief that you will see a dating scandal/marriage/etc! If they are dating you, why would they go out and date someone else? Keep this belief in the forefront of your thoughts whenever you start to feel that way.

And yes I am still human, so of course, I have gotten nervous thoughts about my sp. The most important thing is to keep your thoughts away from scenarios that you don't want to happen. Affirm or visualize the best-case scenario if you have to in order to keep your dominant thoughts on them being with you and only you.

Please work on your beliefs surrounding your confidence and you being 100% deserving of the relationship. No one is better for him than you. You are meant to be, he only loves you and he only wants to be with you. Focus on these facts when you start to worry about undesirable scenarios.

It's a wonderful thing to manifest an sp, whether or not they're famous. Keep persisting and know that I'm rooting for you ♡

[kingsofeverything]

When you see this, post a snippet from your wip

@disgruntledkittenface tagged me to post a snippet, so here’s the beginning of a little fic I started yesterday (idk if it’s done or if I’ll write more or if I’ll post the whole thing or what)

If Harry never hears the word textbook to describe his pregnancy again, it’ll be too soon. Nothing about it is textbook.

That’s not entirely true. His morning sickness couldn’t possibly have been more typical. So, the physical aspects of pregnancy might be considered textbook, but the rest? Even the conception wasn’t textbook. Sure, sperm met egg in the usual manner, but just because Harry had a moment of weakness.

Feeling down and a little lonely after his most recent solo heat, Harry’d decided to go out dancing to cheer himself up, only to see his ex-boyfriend dancing with some stranger to one of Harry’s favorite songs. He’s always been the jealous kind, but with Louis he never was. There’d been no need. Louis has a way of— Louis had a way of making Harry feel like he was the center of his universe. That’s why Harry ended things. It was too much, too soon. Being the focus of Louis’ love had terrified him, so he ran before Louis realized that he didn’t deserve it.

But that night, he’d let his jealousy get the best of him. He’d woven his way through the crowd on the dance floor, pushed himself between Louis and the man he’d been dancing with, and had led Louis out of the club and back to Louis’ apartment. In the sobering light of morning, Harry’d slipped out, and he’s avoided Louis ever since.

Now, here he is, past the three month mark, finally not nauseous twenty-four hours a day, finally able to get by on eight hours of sleep a night instead of needing twelve to feel normal, finally able to feel the little bulge of his growing uterus if he presses under his belly button while laying flat on his back, and finally about to tell Louis.

[oh-boy-me]

I just read both the australia and museum post and the chaos levels are top tier, but like imagine the chaos that ensues if lord diavolo discovers about amusment parks and immediately just buys tickets to disneyland. Lucifer is basically the dad trying not to loose his children(lord diavolo included). Lord diavolo wanting to ride a loopy rollercoaster and just having the time of his life! (Also I highkey see diavolo ordering lucifer to make a disneyland in devildom tbh) Also mouse ear headbands!

This..... this took forever

Hey there anon!  Sorry it took literally a year to answer this!  If you’re still into Obey Me, I hope this was a pleasant surprise.

Also for the first time ever a scenario post is being put under the cut for length purposes.  This scenario is 2.6k words Jesus

Please note that the last time I went to Disney was in 2015, so anything that’s newer than that is taken from the extensive reading of Disney advice blogs I read in preparation for this post.  Anything older than that is likely from experience.

Also, I tried my best to keep this spoiler free for the attractions that can be affected by it.

--

So the Devildom DOES have the concept of amusement parks.  I slept on this ask for so long that we’ve learned about Devil’s Coast.  It seems to be more akin to a smaller-scale theme park, though.  Small-ish.  I’m used to NYC idk what constitutes as small.

Something like Disney World is on such a larger scale!!  When Diavolo heard about that, he knew they had to go.

They are going to Disney World in Orlando because it’s the only one I’ve been to.

Lucifer is REALLY getting tired of these field trips, but there would be no weird animals, and there would be no sobering lessons on global extinction events at a family-friendly amusement park.  He.  He can handle this.

Solomon has actually been banned from all Walt Disney theme parks.  We’re talking blacklist-level banned.  He’s barred from ever entering any Disney park ever again.  However, this was back in 1976, so this must be, like, his son or something, right?  There’s no way this is the same guy.  Thought the security guard who let him in.

What did Solomon do to get banned?  When asked, he only gave a curious hum.  “Yeah, I wonder.”

The place is split into four parks, so they’ll spend one day in each.

Barbatos continued to flex his power as the only one in the group with a brain cell, being sure to get them all fast passes.  He even set time back just for the passes while they were booking the rides they wanted to cut the lines for, so if they don’t get used he’s going to be very snippy.

Also for convenience sake this is taking place in an AU where everything is the same but COVID doesn’t exist to shut down some rides and attractions.

Day 1: Hollywood Studios

MC and Simeon basically have to coerce Lucifer into letting everyone run free instead of making them all line up with a walking rope all day.  He relents on the condition that everyone checks in periodically so he can at least know they haven’t killed anyone.

Nobody will check in except for maybe Beelzebub and those at Purgatory Hall.

Levi immediately gathered his fellow Star Wars fans (which basically meant calling over Mammon Belphie and Asmo and then pulling in two unsuspecting people suddenly given the title of “Star Wars fan”), and made a beeline for Galaxy’s Edge.  There’s a LOT to do there and damn it if he wasn’t going to hit all of it.

First up for their group is the interactive Millennium Falcon Smuggler’s Run.  They fail the mission.  Levi’s pretty pissed, but everyone agrees that it was fun nonetheless.  They really felt like they were doing a mission in the Falcon!  Plus, the gameplay element was totally up the alley of most of this group.  Simeon does feel a little nauseous from Luke’s jerky steering, though.

Did you know that Diavolo loves Toy Story?  He does.  He’s very much enjoying the Slinky roller coaster with Barbatos.

Barbatos would rather be spending time at the shows and performances, but oh no god forbid we don’t get an autograph from Doc McStuffins.  Lucifer please come find him and save him.

Lucifer somehow wandered into the Frozen Sing-Along Celebration.  He wants out.  Barbatos please come find him and save him.

In general, Lucifer isn’t a fan of these sorts of places, so honestly he’s just hiding from the others and waiting for today to be over.  Barbatos told him that there are parks that don’t revolve around rides and characters, and he’s holding out for those.

Luckily for them Diavolo wants to do LITERALLY everything, and that does include the shows, so Barbatos and Lucifer can have at least some fun today

Levi, Asmo, and Beel are about to start their relay for getting character autographs when Satan shows up out of nowhere and starts dragging everyone over to the Tower of Terror.  Solomon bars all attempts to flee on a certain Avatar of Greed’s side.

The line to the Tower is so long, and honestly?  Satan feels like the ride didn’t live up to the literal hour they waited to get on.  Like yeah it was fun, but way too short.

He voices those thoughts, and Levi, who Satan knows is afraid of heights, is pretty fucking livid and drags him to Rock n Rollercoaster as revenge.  Satan hates roller coasters.

As for the others, Asmo and Luke have a lot of fun on the thrill rides.  Mammon and Simeon do not.  Beel is a little spooked by them but still manages to have fun, while Belphie and Solomon think they’re alright.

Eventually, Simeon gets too sick to move, and they assign him to Luke.  They say it’s because he’s too short to ride some of the rides (even though he’s literally not, screw you guys.)

Barbatos messes with time a lil bit so they can enjoy the Fantasmic Show and Fireworks to wrap the day up.

Levi is very jealous of Diavolo’s Doc McStuffins autograph.  Somehow Asmo has Buzz Lightyear’s number.

Day 2: Animal Kingdom

Satan is vibrating

He literally instantly sprints to the Kilimanjaro Safari.  And good for him; that’s something best done while the sun isn’t high up.  The whole gang actually agrees to check that one out, and while Satan isn’t thrilled to be within 50 feet of Lucifer, he’s glad Simeon is there because he remembers how his presence lured animals out in Australia.

Simeon also finds himself pulled along the trails by Satan and parents watch in horror as a gorilla gives him a friendly pat on the back.

If you didn’t know, Animal Kingdom is divided into the two continents of Asia and Africa, as well as the secret eighth continent Avatar (2009).  Diavolo heard great things about the Flight of Passage ride, but he totally forgot to tell Barbatos about it, so they’re stuck on a three hour wait line now.

Levi takes Luke on the Everest roller coaster because Simeon saw it in the distance and looked like he was about to cry.  Levi wouldn’t shut up about how the yeti effect needs to be fixed and Solomon had to explain that the effect literally couldn’t support itself.

Simeon, having escaped a roller coaster for the first and only time on this trip, grabs lunch with Lucifer and Solomon and they enjoy the Lion King performance together.  Solomon’s the only one of them who’s seen the movie, but the others still found it fun.  Solomon keeps making up random plot points that don’t exist, though.  Remember when Simba was captured by pirates?

Mammon found the Bugs Life show very scary.  Normally Asmo would laugh at him, but he’s afraid of any bug he’s never seen before and at least Mammon was afraid of the things that were supposed to get you.  They agree that bugs are still not their friends.

Satan has many things to say about the Dinosaur ride and most of them aren’t good.  Belphie thought it was pretty ok, though.  Lucifer can’t believe there was a sobering lesson on a global extinction event at this family-friendly amusement park.

Diavolo is still in line.  Barbatos abandons him.  He accompanies Luke to the kiddie fossil thing and actually finds it more tolerable.  Oh yeah that’s the other secret ninth continent, Dinoland.

Beel and Belphie spend most of the day together at the various petting zoos.  Belphie comes back knowing more than he ever wanted to about conservation.  He thought Rafiki’s Planet Watch was going to be about watching other planets, not this one!

Asmo gets very interested in the costumes of the performers, as well as the parrots in the bird show.  He could probably make some really colorful designs with those as inspiration.

Nearby, Mammon runs into Kevin and squawks in surprise.  The zoo staff spend the next two hours trying to find the bird that escaped.

Diavolo says the ride was worth it, don’t worry.

Honestly this park has a lot of stuff that wouldn’t translate well to a funny scenario post so this part might be a little short compared to the others.  I can only talk about a zoo for so long.

Anyone remember the Honey I Shrunk the Kids 4D show?  Apparently it closed in 2016 to make room for more Star Wars stuff.

Anyway, at the center of it all there’s the Tree of Life, which is really pretty all day.  Lucifer is thrilled to have a decently obvious meet-up place, too.  They get to catch the brief awakening show at night.

They’re very bummed to learn the Rivers of Light show isn’t happening anymore, so Levi pulls it up on his phone so they can watch it in spirit.

Then Satan learns about the Wilderness Explorers badges and the others spend the rest of the time preventing too much collateral damage over the fact that nobody told him.

Day 3: Epcot

Finally, Lucifer thinks.  Boo, Luke thinks.

Beel didn’t expect this park to be that interesting to him (he’s much more into the wonder and immersion of Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom), but then he learned about the restaurants.  China, Norway, France, Mexico, Germany, Morocco, Italy, Japan, Canada--Canada?  Huh.  Canada.  There’s so many different restaurants from so many cuisines to try, and yeah he knows that it’s definitely not the same as going to the place and it’s overpriced (sorry Lucifer), but it’s all right there.  He makes certain to take MC on a deluxe Epcot restaurant tour.

Oh yeah MC.  That’s the first time we’ve heard from them in a while.  They’re doing whatever you want them to I guess.

Levi buys so much from the Japanese gift shops that he has to go back to the hotel for a bit to drop his bags off.

Satan and Diavolo aren’t much better, but their stashes are more varied.

Also, Diavolo found Mouse Gear, and bought everyone a pair of ears.  Lucifer says that everyone has to keep them on because it’s what Lord Diavolo wants, but he is by far the most upset about them.  Mammon snaps a picture and Lucifer throws his DDD into the lake.

Asmo and Belphie decide they’re gonna take it easy this day, and they nab Solomon and Barbatos for some exhibition hopping.

Luke finds Mission Space and please father no Simeon thought he was safe he thought he was safe here no please

Aside from that, though, Luke honestly finds this part of the park boring.  He’d have been more interested in these attractions elsewhere, but as a kid he’s in Disney for roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

Simeon is very grateful that Luke doesn’t have much that he wants to do, because it means that he can enjoy the Gran Fiesta and Living with the Land boat rides and have a single moment where he doesn’t feel like he’s about to be sick.  He’s not even afraid of the rides; he just gets motion sick easily.

Asmo makes sure to see the Chinese acrobat show, and Mammon catches that with the show-hopping gang since there isn’t much he wants to do here either.

Epcot has alcohol and Solomon hasn’t been able to drink in ages so he really wants to spend some time doing that with MC.  No demons allowed, thank you very much.  He doesn’t hold his liquor as well as he’d like you to believe, but he just gets really talkative when drunk so it’s ok.

Epcot is a nice day to take a breather and Lucifer and Barbatos definitely needed a breather before tomorrow.

Day 4: Magic Kingdom

This is the day Diavolo has been waiting for.  The crème de la crop, the best park for kids and kids in a future king of the Devildom’s body.

Also I feel like now is a good time to mention that this probably isn’t a reasonable order of events because I don’t remember the map layout of these places idk Disney city planning

This time.  This time, Levi, Asmo and Beel are gonna get those autographs, dammit.  Levi doesn’t even know who half of these characters are but hell if he’s not getting their autograph.

Mammon actually really loves the mascots too, but he’s embarrassed about it so he’ll only try to get one if he can use the guise of MC wanting one.  MC, please help him out

Belphie isn’t big on rides, but he does have a soft spot for the more retro ones like Dumbo and Seven Dwarves.  And like I said before, Beel loves Magic Kingdom for its wonder.  So Belphie is perfectly happy being led (read: piggybacked) around by Beel today, because their favorite attractions match up pretty well here.

Actually, Beel’s favorite Disney movie is Lilo and Stitch, but.  RIP Stitch’s Great Escape ride 2004-2018

Diavolo and Lucifer take a moment to enjoy the Carousel of Progress, and they reflect on how much the Human World is always changing and how much about it they still don’t know.  It really does make them think, like.  Grandma found the VR games at Christmas!  The Devildom doesn’t have grandmas!

Mammon is terrified of the Haunted Mansion ride, and Satan has literally never felt so much schadenfreude in his life.

Mammon’s afraid of most rides to be fair, but he likes water rides, so Levi eventually takes pity on him and they go on Splash Mountain together more than once.

The Peter Pan ride broke down

Luke wanted to go on Space Mountain and Simeon was the only one around, so.  RIP Simeon ????-2021

Diavolo was That Guy.  If you know, you know.

Beel accidentally spun the teacups way too fast.  Not even Solomon got out of that one unscathed.

Following that, Solomon manages to drag Barbatos onto the Jungle Cruise while Lucifer is busy.  What is Lucifer busy with?  Riding the Buzz Lightyear shooting ride over and over until he hits every single target and gets a perfect score at a Disney ride, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.  Anyway, Barbatos finds it really charming and Solomon finds it a nice break that he didn’t know he needed.

While looking for a food place that sells water for a reasonable price, a kid runs up to Asmo asking for a picture and autograph.  He’s kind of confused, but goes along with it to make the kid happy.

Turns out, Asmo’s so naturally charming that they mistook him for a prince.  Other groups see that family and follow suit.  Mammon eventually catches wind of it and shows up to charge a fee.  The parents are pretty sure Disney doesn’t charge fees like that, but their kids really want a pic with Asmo so they hand over the two bucks.  (“Oh it’s so low” come on Mammon’s not a dick to children.)

And that’s the story of how Mammon and Asmo ended up in Disney Jail.  You’re very much not allowed to pretend to be a cast member and then charge money for it.  Lucifer has to bail them out as their “guardian,” and as punishment they aren’t allowed to opt out of It’s a Small World.

Small World isn’t that bad imho, and those like Diavolo, Satan, Simeon, and Levi would like it a lot.  But Lucifer has been playing parent all day, Belphie does not like the noise, and Solomon has literally been on this ride at least fifty times.  Very mixed feelings on this one, but it feels fitting to end with that and a fireworks show.

All in all though this wasn’t the worst trip Lucifer’s been on (cue everyone applauding for some reason).

Barbatos by far had the least fun of them all because for four days he was stuck in a park where the mascot is a fucking rodent and he wasn’t allowed to annihilate Mickey Mouse where he stood

“Disneyland Devildom when” “Lord Diavolo, no”

Masterlist

[straykats]

ballet slipper (can't help just love ballet too much), rose and coral <33

ballet slipper— with only one word, describe how you feel at this moment

unwell (rip). i have a stomach ache that literally just settled in as i was copying the questions over. i also feel kinda nauseous, i'm assuming bc of a car ride i was in an hour ago. yes i still feel sick from a ride an hour ago. perhaps, then, it's not car sickness but i actually just need to rest lol

rose— do you believe in soulmates? why or why not?

no HAHA but i definitely enjoy a good soulmate au (wink wonk). why don't i believe in soulmates? well, here me out on this one (or don't - it's really up top u whether u read the answer HAHA) and bare with me making this a lot deeper than it actually is. i'll answer below the cut tho bc im gonna go on an unnecessarily long ramble HAHAHAHAHAHAH but i love going on rambles about things like this and breaking it down and exploring the ideas associated so. but the short answer is that no, i don't believe in soulmates because the idea of 'fate' can kind of suck.

coral— what’s something you’re passionate about?

music! writing! the shadowhunter chronicles! criminal minds! human connection and development-esqe things? see below for an example.

[ send me a pink themed ask! ]

so,,, why don't i believe in soulmates?

well, if soulmates exist (and i say 'soulmates' referring to just... ur fated person, not red string of fate or other soul mate au. soulmate in the most... biological/physiological way possible; coming from the same star or smth. i dont remember the whole thing but theres a theory/idea that you and your soulmate come from the same star and when the star burst the atoms created you and ur partner etcetc idk it's my favourite soulmate theory/au thing but anyways) GETTING BACK ON TRACK. if soulates exist, that kind of alludes to the idea that... everything happens/happened for a reason.

the idea of a soulmate existing, of someone who.. idk, makes up for your faults, who always manages to deal with your faults and who's your perfect other half etc. is like.. it.. means that if A and B are soulmates, then the existence of A means that all of the things that happened to B happened for a reason to enable A to be that perfect puzzle piece that fits right in. i don't know if that makes sense.

we are who we are because of the thigns that we experience - all of our our strengths come from the challenges we face, and all of the positive encouragers in our life. our supports facilitate our development, but our challenges also shape us, as much as we hate it. taking the easy example of trauma - our trauma response in both the short and long term affects how we act and how we react to things. the idea of a soul,ate who just.. naturally understands and is able to facilitate these (potentially) disabling responses means that the traumatic event was. idk. fated to happen. happened for a reason, etc.

and that's not to say that no one exists out there who will be able to facilitate and understand and love someone despite their 'flaws', but the concept of a 'soulmate' somehow takes away the humanness of human connection?

if A is able to accomodate all of B's 'flaws', it should be because they want to and because they, somewhere along the line, have learnt hte skills to do that, and the people who taught/displayed the skills did so not because it was 'fated' but because that's how humanity works and- and maybe yeah this is because i don't want to believe that a lot of the things i and other people have experienced was 'meant' to happen for some reason, but yeah.

i don't know man i could go on for EVER about this. idek if what i've said has made sense. and i know the question probably isn't as deep as i made it out to be but i love talking about human connection and about how everything makes us us and maybe not exactly in a psychoanalytical way but if i understoood the concepts of psychoanalysis i would have typed up a proper 3000word essay.

[thedaythealienscame]

hmmmm any of the saw movies (for the movie asks)

ask me about movies <3 | i'm going to do literally all of them with explanations for each one

saw:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

fuckkkk man. the amount of thought and effort that went into this first movie was insane. a script that took years of revising, going out of their way to get cary elwes to be in the movie (they got him to watch the short film + showed him their drawings). FILMED IT ALL OVER SEVEN DAYS? god. also the concept of a saw movie focusing mostly on one trap is something the franchise hasn't done since. i love it, love the acting, love the props, love the physical effects, everything. <- changed horror as we know it even.

saw ii:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

for not being written originally as a saw movie, the whole team did a phenomenal job twisting it just a tiny bit more to make it an genuine saw movie. the traps here are brutal in their simplicity, down to the one that eric matthews was in without even knowing it. what a movie. balanced the a + b plots perfectly, all the characters are memorable. wow <3

saw iii:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

i've only been able to watch saw iii once and the whole time i did i felt genuinely nauseous as to what these people were being put through. it was originally intended to be the last saw movie and they really went all out for this one. the traps here aren't hard to watch because they're gorey, they're hard to watch because they're so unique it's awful to imagine, let alone see. that and the end of amanda + kramer's arcs, plus the unknowing that comes with so much after this is really <3 wow. first movie to do the series of tests for one person.

saw iv:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

an all around enjoyable movie with an interesting character study on one of the few remaining cops from the second + third movies and his belief that he had the ability to save everyone that has been slowly ruining his life. all the victims in this one were bad people though so i'm removing points for this. also two of the traps were very similar idk why they did that. very good if you're sitting down just to watch a movie! loved the trap with the ice blocks

saw v:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

in many ways this is a bit of a bad movie <3 it's also a very good movie when you only focus on the trap plotline which is what i went into it for. returning to the idea of the second movie of a series of traps where the victims have to work together to survive. the traps were unique, loved the fact that the victims were all connected in some way, the ways that multiple traps could have been done in multiple ways until the very end. wow <3 many saw enjoyers say this was a very bad one, i entirely agree. still a fave though (some solid theories surrounding this one too) (liked that some characters had a happy ending in this one as well)

saw vi:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

good commentary in this one surrounding the american healthcare system and was very pleased to see a return to the original ideas (i.e. tests to recover from moral failings/lapses in judgement/etc). the traps were interesting to see and i very much enjoyed the focus on the phrase "live or die" and the focus on partner traps where the person inside the trap also could participate. also: nice to see hoffman get a taste of his own medicine

saw 3d:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

pink blood, silly storyline, the trap that happened in a dream, and the 3d gimmick aside. this was genuinely an okay movie and i'm sad that most people don't actually like it. the traps were actually really interesting from an outside standpoint (the public execution, the one that happened in a junkyard, see/hear/speak no evil themed traps, etc). ALSO jill's betrayal was soo good. AND THE ENDING. my god <3

jigsaw:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

it wasn't the worst and some of it was interesting, but it doesn't like. occupy a portion of my mind when i think of the saw franchise even though it was the only one i was old enough to have seen trailers for at the time it came out. idk. it just kind of exists? the plot was okay but i'd have preferred if the twist was different

spiral:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

i'm actually mad that this one is widely regarded as a bad movie because you could see the twist coming as if the original three saw movies did not also have clues scattered throughout. highly enjoyed seeing actors that i hadn't seen before mixed with actors i had seen before and was very happy with the ending. the unique take on the concept of the movies + way that it takes place mostly outside the traps + the fact that it doesn't take itself too seriously is a plus in my book. wish it had been made without a possible sequel in mind though

[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on GG rewatch...)

*Sighs*. So now, after my favourite episode of the season, I guess that here comes the worst?

I’m going to go write fic after that to forget about this depressing nonsense...

Honestly this whole bar scene is peak Petty!Rio... The whole *chuckles* "oh hey, I've got to show you something!" *pulls out the bullets* is P E R F E C T.

Rio kissing the bullets and dramatically dropping them in front of Beth is literally a fanfiction. I have no other explanation

I feel bad for this unknown actor who plays the bartender and only has one line ("Sure thing") and nobody will ever pay attention to him because this scene is a fucking MOMENT.

"TO YOUR AIM"!!!!!!!!!!! Rio is a dramatic bitch and I'm here for it

"YOU'RE MY GIRL," he said, bottom lip hanging loose like a forbidden fruit. THE CHEEK TOUCHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRB, gonna take a quick shower...

Why are these close-ups getting closer and closer??? Is this a symbol of Beth's tunnel vision? Feels kinda weird actually

NO! The abrupt switch from Rio to gross sweaty Deansie is absolutely unbearable. HOW DARE THEY??????

Has anyone, like ever, asked for a power clip of Dean working out???

Beth, asking the same question ten times and expecting a different answer is the definition of insanity. Taking a second pregnancy test for double check is valid. But ten?

WHERE CAN I SUBSCRIBE TO THIS DRUNK DETROIT CHANNEL???

Is Gayle just discovering the basic concepts of marketing while she's supposed to be a successful business-runner?? This doesn't make any sense

I appreciate Annie questioning Beth's self-proclaimed leadership. It's too bad it doesn't lead to anything.

So I get that it's supposed to make Beth appear like a true boss, but why is Gil suddenly saying where the money is while his blackmailing argument was for once extremely persuasive?

What's in the van, what's in the vaaaaaaan???

And. Another. French. Pop. Song.

Well, I for once agree with Dean, having a fifth kid IS a discussion. Honestly the only interesting part of this scene is learning that Beth's into roleplay, acrobatics and sextoys...

Gosh, this episode is probably the worst of the season. Beth is using everyone in the ugliest ways. She's using Rhea to save herself while she's acted awfully to her. She's using Dean as a sperm bank. She's using Rio and tricks him into believing she's carrying his child. She's using Ruby to get Gil's van. Ugh.

DIANE!!!!!!!

So, did Gil go or not?? Also, "he just is," is not an answer, Elizabeth, the correct answer was "I never listened much during gun practice and fucked up my aim as a result"

"HEY NOW"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The super romantic music playing during the "nauseous" scene feels a bit... off?? Like, I don't understand the intent, this episode is really fucked up, I feel like they couldn't settle for a tone and mixed a lot of things together, which can sometimes result in a brilliant mix in the end, but here it's just odd.

Extremely pissed that we didn't get to see Beth's first ride in the G-Wagon, trying to eat the ice-cream before it melts and Rio being all stressed-out about stains on the leather.

Dean, literally: "I just think it's healthier for my marriage not to cheat on my wife" oh you think, dude??? What was your first clue?

Can someone explain to me why Dean is the character from this show who gets laid/propositioned the most?? Like, WHO are these women?

I love how we can clearly see Beth's pulse during the gyno waiting room scene. Like, idk if it's just normal that it's so visible at this filming distance or if Christina is THAT good, but it feels very organic.

Okay quick poll: are there women out there who DON'T keep track of the date of their last period??? How can you not KNOW?

Oooooh, I forgot the puddle of nonsense that was this pregnancy plot. If Rio's been gone for two months, then there's no way you can't see the embryo AND have a heartbeat. And there's no way Rio would buy the ob-gyn's bullshit, especially since he's apparently been around during Rhea's pregnancy.

One more thing: death threats aside isn't that weird in general to take your new partner to your ex's ob-gyn??

I find the cereal-eating scene really gross tbh. This food looks disgusting.

MIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!

And finally. This is it. After his long hiatus, Carlos Aviles is no longer Rio's Henchman #2 or Scary Guy #1. He's Mick, and honestly 80% responsible for my enjoyment of season 3.

Bonus: Look at this pwetty pwetty face...

[ithinkofnealcassady]

hi! idk if ur taking prompts or anything but can you write something abt peter being (selectively) mute? it can come from him being autistic or as a coping mechanism or however! even better if tony can help overcome it. thank u sm❣️

lemme just preface with the fact that my experiences are not universal and that i didn’t even understand that i’m literally selectively mute until less than a week ago. nevertheless, i hope this fulfills what you wanted <3

---

Peter doesn’t mean to be doing it.

It’s just that he’s been laying flat atop his sheets for almost two hours now, letting the idle spin of the white ceiling fan raise chills on his legs where they jab out of his too-loose boxers.

He’s got an incessant humming at the back of his neck though the rest of him is cavernous and cool. His eyes hurt. He can’t sleep.

He’s snapping one of MJ’s hair ties against the inside of his wrist. It’s supposed to make him come back into his body. It isn’t working. It feels like he’s up there bobbing on the breeze from the fan. Like suspension as a concept is tenuous and there is no webbing and Peter has been freefalling for ages and he still can’t see the ground.

He’d rather splat. He’d rather hit the ground, guts and grime and all, than keep hovering.

Johnny is off doing alien shit. MJ has an internship. May is on a shift. Ned hasn’t answered his texts.

There’s nothing holding him here.

It’s all too easy to let go.

Peter’s vision slips out of focus.

Time moves like ribbon curls and spilled honey; like sanded wood planks and fingerprints smudged on window panes; like the starchy water left after boiling potatoes and wet ink bleeding across the page.

It is all angles and pains and endless fields of undulating wheat, and then it isn’t.

Focus is painfully sharp. He immediately wants to retreat back into himself.

There’s a warm hand on his wrist. Peter fumbles the hair tie. It snaps onto fingers that are not his, rather than the thin skin over his palm.

“Stop that,” says Tony’s gruff voice, “quit it, kid, stop.”

Peter blinks. He turns towards Tony. He doesn’t know why Tony is in his apartment.

“School called,” Tony says, as if he reads minds. “You didn’t show up. They called May, and she called me to come and check on you since her shift isn’t up until twelve.”

Peter looks idly at Tony.

Tony’s hand skims over Peter’s forehead so lightly that Peter isn’t sure it happened. Peter thinks Tony’s palm is shaking. Peter thinks Tony’s eyes look heavy.

“One of those days?” Tony says.

Peter breathes. Somewhere inside his chest the answer is pulsating—it’s grabbing onto his ribs and rattling them like prison bars—but nothing. Nothing rises to his mouth.

Something, some great and primordial It, stoppers his throat, makes him stupid. Helpless. He fucking hates being helpless. All he does is try not to be.

He closes his eyes when his lower lip trembles. His throat is painfully tight. He hates feeling like this. He doesn’t get it. Nothing happened. Why does he feel like he’s sunk a foot into the foam of his mattress.

“Alright,” Tony says. “Hey, okay, I’m here now. We can fix this. I know we can. You know the first step? Because I do and I’m willing to share my answer with the class. Here it is: sit up. That’s the first thing. That’s always the first step. Come on, up, let’s sit up.”

Tony’s hand squeezes Peter’s shoulder three times, fast. Peter pushes himself up. He must. Because he’s sitting. His elbows feel strange. Too big. Too bendy.

“Hey, look at that,” says Tony. “You nailed it. Olympic gold worthy. I’ll contact the YMCA. You need a minute? Let’s take a minute. Step one, done. You earned a minute, I’m—here, scoot. Move that leg, I’m coming in hot like a mofo. Do the kids say that? I think I heard it on a TV show once and, frankly, it baffled me.”

Tony wedges himself onto Peter’s mattress and leans back against the headboard.

Peter looks at him, all decked in a massive hoodie and ratty sweatpants. His face is strange and blurry. Warped like he’s watching the bottom of a swimming pool writhe. Peter feels like he doesn’t recognize Tony. Peter feels like he would recognize Tony blind and backwards and upside down. He does not understand this feeling. It’s infuriating. He wants to reach down his throat and into his chest and pull it out like those clown napkins neatly tied in brightly-colored knots.

Tony sighs, settling against Peter’s pillows.

He gives a good show. As if this is normal. Any of this at all.

Tony turns his head towards Peter, then pats Peter’s cold kneecap.

He turns away again.

Peter thinks that if some magic spell could summon from his chest the sound that has been pushed so deep it would never otherwise be heard, it would be a guttural, fractured scream.

His finger loops around the hair tie.

Before he can snap it, Tony’s hand stops him. Cuffs around Peter’s wrist, all calluses and divots and swirled prints.

Peter can feel every rise and fall against his skin.

“How are we doing during our little interlude?” Tony says. “More interlude? Less interlude? Terminated interlude? All of the above are fine. Just keep me updated. A memo on my desk will suffice.”

Peter clenches his jaw.

“Oh, he’s mad. Okay. I can give you time. How about the next step for today is a shower? You look like you’re fucking freezing. Go take a warm shower. I’ll do that fancy thoughtful thing where I throw a towel in the dryer for you so it’s all toasty when you get out. Remember to wash behind your ears and everything.”

Tony slides off the mattress and stands beside it. He stares at Peter, open, patient.

Peter pushes himself off the mattress. The floor beneath his feet feels like a memory.

Tony says, “Hey, look at you! Nice. We’re making shit happen, folks. Into the bathroom with you, young one. Throw your towel out the door. I’ll go fix it up nice.”

Peter follows the instructions at half-pace.

In the shower, he finds himself sitting under the stream. He does not remember why he sat. He doesn’t feel lightheaded. Or nauseous. Or anything else at all.

He finds his footing. Stands. Soaps himself.

The garbled sound of the water calms him, even if he feels matted eight layers deep.

When he gets out, the towel is waiting beside a stack of his clothes. All of them are warmed.

He gets dressed and pads out of the bathroom.

Tony is standing at the stove. He’s cooking something. Peter cannot tell what it is.

Tony snorts. “You tuck your sweatpants into your socks? God, I shouldn’t be surprised. You do seem like the sock-tucking type. I bet you single-cuff your jeans or something. Fold your underwear in thirds. Hang your sweaters.”

The worst thing is that Peter has the comeback ready. Like a normal person? he wants to say. Like a normal person? sits on the back of his tongue. He can’t say the words. Neurotypical who? Not him.

God, even joking in his own freaking head sounds discordant.

Peter pushes himself up onto the counter and sits, legs dangling.

Tony continues to cook. Every once in a while, Tony will start to hum, then stop. He’ll get halfway into a verse and then quit as if he forgets the words.

Peter cannot pick up a single melody.

Tony is rather suddenly before him, plate in hand. It’s laden with eggs and turkey sausage. Two slices of toast. A peeled orange.

Tony peeled an orange without Peter noticing. Without smelling, even.

Peter takes the plate. It wavers in his hands but he rights it.

Tony does not begin to clean the cookware until Peter has stabbed a sausage with his fork and begun to chew it.

His mouth feels like it’s full of glue. His whole existence is a cotton ball. Fucking Christ. He’s so tired of feeling like this.

The next time Tony taps him, it’s on the elbow.

Peter starts.

Tony catches his plate before it can slip off his lap.

Tony taps Peter’s temple twice. “You’ve been—out there for a while. That place I can’t follow you. Food is getting cold. I expect it all to be finished. I know I’m the cool parent but I will not budge on this one.”

Peter stares.

“I know,” Tony says, voice breaking. “God, I know, Pete. It’s okay. Just some breakfast. It’s fine. You can do that, I know you can.”

Peter knows he can too. He knows he can, and he’s pissed because he feels like the crater punched into the earth’s crust that wiped out the dinosaurs, all smoking and empty and awful. He can finish a plate of fucking eggs. Toast. He loves oranges. He can do this.

It feels like he can’t. It feels like an undertaking. The epic sort.

He grits his teeth, stabs a chunk of egg, and does it. It’s like pulling himself along by the ends of his nails, but on the inside.

When he’s finished, he feels sick rather than bolstered.

But Tony takes his plate, grinning, and washes it for him. Whistling from between his teeth, now.

Peter’s finger hooks the hair tie. He knows that if he snaps it hard enough he’ll come back.

He does it once, twice. Nothing. He hears the slap against his skin. It feels like nothing more than a pinch.

“Hey, stop that,” Tony says, hands wet and sudsy as he takes the tie off Peter’s wrist.

Peter blinks at his skin. It’s mottled red, lightly bruised. He hadn’t realized.

It was supposed to fix him.

“I’m keeping this. I’ll personally give it back to Michelle. This isn’t May’s. It’s not May’s, right? She only uses scrunchies. She’s a child of the flowers, bless her hippie heart. Okay. Pocketing it. Let me finish the dishes. I need May to love me. Okay. Be right back.”

Tony pats Peter’s knee before he goes.

Peter watches the wet spot from Tony’s hand grow on the fabric of his sweats.

Tony brings him to the couch. The couch is not big. It is deep and too soft and sometimes, if you sit wrong, you get a butthole piercing from the springs.

Tony wraps him in a blanket. And then another. One is a quilt Ben made. The other is a blanket so enormous and thick that Peter is faintly sure it will smother him.

But he lets Tony wrap him up. Because he has no other choice. And because a little part of him—one tenacious bit who hasn’t lost hope—deeply wants Tony to fix this for him, and trusts that Tony knows what he’s doing.

Tony settles onto the couch next to Peter, tossing an arm across the back. His fingertips scratch Peter’s neck, along the knots of his spine.

“We could watch something,” Tony suggests. “I tend to think watching something after eating aids the digestive process. Gets the systems moving. Sound good? Let’s watch something fun. Let’s watch Ferris Bueller. God, that poor bastard. What mother would name their child Ferris? And he’s such a successful kid too. That’s overcoming adversity right there.”

Tony fumbles with the remote. He pulls up the movie. Peter sits in his blanket nest.

The film starts with the iconic monologue sequence.

Something in Peter settles seeing it. It’s so familiar to him, he could recite the whole script end-to-end.

Not now, probably. But usually.

It itches in his chest.

Tony hums rather than laughs during movies. A soft noise with his lips pressed together. A light smile.

He seems so calm. At ease. Peter doesn’t get it. Tony is always freaking out, especially when there’s absolutely nothing wrong, but not now.

Peter can’t make himself speak and Tony isn’t freaking out. That’s weird.

But maybe it’s good. Maybe. Because Tony acting normal might make Peter’s subconscious feel normal and then everything will click back into place and Peter can stop being so helpless and pissed and nonexistent.

It doesn’t reboot his subconscious. What it does is make him sleepy. The brush of Tony’s fingers, the familiar cadence of the movie—Peter drifts, and this time, he sleeps.

He’s shaken awake what feels like hours later.

He opens a bleary eye. Everything is moving.

A great mane of braided hair whacks him across the face.

He sputters.

“Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry, baby, just me, joining in on the cuddle sesh. Don’t worry, I changed out of my scrubs first. I know how much you hate being near my dirty work scrubs. Which astounds me, considering Ben saw you sneak a pizza crust out of the trash once when you were a kid.”

She settles next to him on the far side, where a snoring Tony isn’t.

She wraps her arm around Peter’s waist, strong and lithe and familiar, and Peter feels it.

It makes his eyes ache.

He swallows and swallows. He turns to May. He presses a firm kiss to her cheek.

“I love you too, honey,” she says, poking her nose into his neck. They’ve never needed words to communicate anyway.

He closes his eyes, warm enough to bake, surrounded on every side with stifling love.

He sleeps, chasing the sun across the sky, and when he wakes again, he wakes.

[inkykeiji]

hq boys + slasher film dates!

karasuno edition

notes: basically, if you had suggested the two of you have a slasher film date night, these are the films i think each boy would pick! ummm i don’t think this needs any warnings??? they’re slashers so, mentions of blood and murder i guess!

part one | part two | part three

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

karasuno

sawamura daichi – halloween + halloween II ; dir. john carpenter – daichi’s got a lil mini marathon planned! he’s bringing over two iconic classics, the best of the best, #1 in slashers, n he’s gonna make u guys a biiiig bowl of buttery popcorn and cuddle w you under a super fluffy blanket while you watch michael slowly kill off characters and terrorize laurie <33

sugawara koushi – black christmas ; dir. bob clark – suga chose black christmas because he likes the air of mystery surrounding it and it’s vague ending. he also thinks it’s fun to pick apart all of the ways black christmas inspired golden age slasher films to come and enjoys its unique murders!

azumane asahi – friday the 13th ; dir. sean s. cunningham – you definitely had to coerce him into having a slasher date night, managing to get him to say yes by promising that he could pick the film. he chooses friday the 13th purely because it’s one of the less gory golden age slashers (gore makes him nauseous :( he’s squeamish!), and because he likes the twist at the end!

nishinoya yuu – child’s play ; dir. tom holland – noya just finds chucky hilarious. he’s crude as heck and the whole concept is ridiculous to him, which just makes the film a fun watch. you wont be scared, because noya will manage to make a joke out of everything and have you laughing until your stomach hurts.

hinata shoyo – silent night, deadly night ; dir. charles e. sellier jr. – hinata’s picking silent night, deadly night, because he’s really intrigued by the concept of mixing christmas with halloween/horror, and appreciates the macabre way christmas elements are infused with the murders/plot. he already thought there was something so terrifying about santa claus as a figure, so it totally makes sense to him to have a serial killer dress up as the jolly man and absolutely gives him the creeps!

kageyama tobio – terror train ; dir. roger spottiswoode – he thinks the costume idea is really cool and clever, and that the concept of being stuck on a moving train with a serial killer in the middle of nowhere is legitimately terrifying, even if the film itself is really predictable! (he also strikes me as a dude who thinks trains are neat idk why???). additionally, he thinks jamie lee curtis is a fricken badass (because she is).

tanaka ryuunosuke – the texas chainsaw massacre 2 ; dir. tobe hooper – tanaka’s bringing over tcm2! released twelve years after the first tcm, tcm2 is a parody of both its original film and classical teenage movies from the 80s (the poster is a parody of the breakfast club’s poster, tanaka will tell you this no less than three times) and tanaka appreciates its witty humor and callbacks to the original film.

tsukishima kei – peeping tom ; dir. michael powell – this pretentious boy has chosen another classic, the other film credited as the very start of the slasher subgenre. he appreciates its intelligent storytelling and innovative cinematography that comments on the voyeuristic nature of cinema as an art form itself.

yamaguchi tadashi – a bay of blood ; dir. mario bava – yamaguchi surprises you when he puts on giallo classic a bay of blood (aka ecologia del delitto; reazione a catena; carnage; twitch of the death nerve; and blood bath). despite it’s extremely gruesome and gory nature, he tells you he likes it because, in his mind, it’s not too realistic thanks to the bright red blood that looks like paint and the over the top acting, two of the film’s most iconic and lovable features.

[thornsofdeath]

phf rants

as i’ve made clear im rlly impacted by this book. dont mind my lowkey venting

damn this is long

mista's coldness towards fugo / the stadium scene as a whole

it really really hurt me to see mista treating fugo, his old partner, his old friend like a dangerous enemy. i know he had his valid reasoning, but that very specific kind of angst shatters me. mista had his gun pointed at fugo for the entire stadium scene, not wavering for even a second. the worst part? it seemed like mista was trying to purposefully incite fugo to snap by right out insulting him and his stand, saying he was glad when fugo didn’t get on the boat. it seemed like he was egging fugo on just so he had an excuse to kill him, to get one more thing off his list of concerns. fugo as a person meant nothing at all to mista. when mista said “kill these traitors, or we’ll kill you” i wanted to cry. mista goes on about hoe fugo is a massive threat because purple haze is unhinged and can wipe out the enitre population if he wanted. fugo politely corrects him, as PH only has 6 capsules and can only attack 6 times in a day. did i see myself in that scene and feel fugo’s pain of just wanting to be left alone and not have to think about the past or the future, silent and melancholic during intervention and just feeling like the only way out is to kms right then and there? thats a secret ill never tell.  phf makes me smad.

there were some little details in purple haze feedback that got me thinking as well. in the 6 months between fugo’s leave and his cold reuniting with mista, fugo was playing piano at a bar. Most of the people who bring this up refer to it as just some cool trick he could get because he’s a rich kid. he is not. in flashbacks, it’s shown that bruno only knows how to cope with distress by isolating himself and bottling everything up. god, did i feel that. sheila e’s life goal was to kill illuso (to avenge her sister) and swore her life to giorno after finding out he killed him, it’s ironic though because in reality fugo had killed him, and in the first part of the book, they weren’t exactly friends. 

another part that really just made me wanna sob and bash my head into a wall was seeing fugo’s pure self hatred. since he was a child, he had it drilled into his head that if he couldnt produce results, he was worthless. after being disowned and thrown into jail with no future, he was completely hopeless. even after bruno came and took him in, he was never free of his liabilities. no matter what he did, he couldnt help seeing himself as some monster, failure, and burden. (kinnie moment) it worsened when he had to abandon bruno’s gang, his only saving grace was bruno, his light, hope, and acceptance. now he was stripped of that, gripped in fear knowing too well that betraying passione would end horribly. deep in his heart he wanted so badly to join them, to join his found family, but the logic he had drilled into his own head of knowing that betrayal was foolish and futile wouldnt let him have his way. hes back on the streets, just like how he was (or wouldve been after getting out of jail) after being disowned. he got a piano gig at a bar, and let himself wallow in grief and depression for 6 months. throughout the events pf PHF, we still see him clinging to memories and trauma. they say “what you let consume you will define you”, and i couldnt begin to describe it any better. putting all of the guilt and blame on his own shoulders, feeling he deserved it all and more. 

either i wasnt paying enough attention (this bitch got some rereading to do) or the purple haze distortion scene was kinda underwhelming. his character arc felt kinda rushed, like most of the book was establishing his bad state and constant flashbacks, and then all of a sudden he has confidence in his abilities and believes in himself. of course, im overjoyed he did get growth, and had a happy ending (depends on how you interpret it). stan fugio

vittorio’s fascination with pain really got me feelin. hgghhhhhhhh hh hnnhhhhh. he describes it well, wanting to feel his life force/energy in the form of pain so that he didnt ‘go extinct’, and the writing of it just saying straight up ‘cutting himself’ ‘hurting himself’ ‘self harming’ made my skin crawl. as someone who suffers with shit like that its both painful and relieving to know a character who has similar habits, whether it’s for the purpose of activating his stand or just to cope. 

2 times in phf, fugo does some kind of suicide attack. of course, he survives both. it’s never made clear whether or not he intended to die/didnt mind dying as it was a way of accomplishing his mission, but either way it got me heavy breathing. the last one especially, when he bites a virus capsule to kill volpe. did he know he’d grown and purple haze would miraculously save him with his own genius plan, or was he going out with a bang? luckily for me it wasnt really gone over like ‘hey you couldve died from that are you doing ok mentally’ or else i mightve felt nauseous reading it. im all for angst, but idk how much more i can take when its day 87 of quarantine and im numb as fuck just waiting to break down. 

angelica’s stand night bird flying (is probably not that complicated im just fuckin dumb) made fugo and everyone else hallucinate/dream. in fugo’s dream, it was pretty much an ideal au.  he was permitted to see his grandma when she was near death (preventing the professor scene), met bruno (fisher boy with fisher dad) on a boat and they became friends, nara went back to school and was doing good overall, abba remained a cop but didnt do any bad things, the whole group was all just good friends having a fun time. god i would licherally sell my body and soul for them all to be happy like that and all live. 

the concept of abandonment also messed me up, just the feeling that everyone say fugo as someone who abandoned the group in their hour of need out of selfishness made me wanna cry angry sad depression tears. hes a good man! let him be ok and happy i will fight all fugo haters no cap

every time i think back to the fugio restaurant scene i just. idk man it hurts me. the pessimistic bitch in me says that it would be unrequited and fugo would only be more sad because even through his efforts, he’s just another pawn working for giorno. on the other hand, it makes me soft n giddy because?? omyfucking god giorno asks fugo to call him giogio when NOBODY ELSE IN THE BOOK had referred to him as that. the fuckin “if grief anchors your feet, let me share it” part makes me wanna jusyt. complete my kin transformation into fugo and be a sobbin g  shaking mess in his arms as he tells me its all gonna be ok. was that a vent? absolutely. anyways, its pretty damn special for the don of the mafia to invite you to breakfast at a fancy restaurant before the place opens and its just the two of you. giorno fixes fugo’s injuries and tells him that he’s proud of his growth, and that he knew fugo could do it. dude?????? if i didnt already know i was a lonely affection/affirmation/attention starved bitch that wouldve done it for me.

holy fuck that was longer than i expected it to be. i do feel better tho

[kitten-keith]

Horrid Self Indulgence

Wrote this long thing and now it’s gone cause I posted it to the wrong account and copy paste didn’t work so /fuck me/ anyway.

The whole following fic is purely self indulgent garbage, thus the name (it’s even called this in my google docs because I HAD A PLAN for what I was doing and it was supposed to be insanity) though as usual things get derailed and Idk. I had wanted to get into the hijinks of this concept but lost steam after starting the second bit. But the first bit can stand alone. ish. I guess.

Idk. It’s all completely ridiculous though so idk have fun.

Klance, slightly intoxicated, sharing a bed, Keith is uncomfortable AF and Lance is trying to be chill about it. Weird head shit and accidental rituals. You’ll see. Seriously. Horrid self indulgence.

-----

It was a pleasant moment between comrades that went horribly, heinously, horrifically wrong. 

And if that’s what bonding with Keith friggin Kogane gets him then absolutely not, never again.

It was such a simple stupid fuck up. How was he supposed to know?!

They were at a dinner, stumbling awkwardly through an alien planets customs, trying unsuccessfully to pretend they were okay with the garbs they’d been forced to wear and that the food didn’t make them nauseous when Lance had made the biggest mistake ever and looked at Keith. 

See, because he was the leader his attire had to display this-this—nobility. And god, Keith was anything but noble. He was sitting to the right of the planet’s leader, Allura across from him, and he looked like they might as well have sat him at the kids table with how his brows furrowed and he looked at the ground like he was trying not to cry.

His face was red enough to match the silk scarf loosely clinging to his shoulders and his thumbs rubbed absently over his ungloved hands. He was bare aside from the scarf and a darker one wrapped around his waist for modesty that he’d had to fight for. Apparently this planet had no concept of an external penis or whatever and needed to be educated on human biology before they gave in to Keith’s demands. 

The whole thing was about respect, leaving yourself bare to show you had nothing to hide, but to remind everyone of his station the locals had him decked out in jewels from head to toe. They were braided into his hair, dangling from thin chains across his chest, Lance was positive there was some sort of jeweled sandal decorating his tiny delicate toes too. 

(And not because he paid attention to that sort of thing. Just. Ya know. Shiny shit.) 

Allura was actually dressed about the same though being a woman with no external penises she was actually way nakeder than Keith. And, as she was a full on princess they’d given her a whole slew of silver that had strategically covered all necessary bits that Lance’s mother might have flinched at. 

Not that Allura seemed to give a fuck in the slightest and even seemed to enjoy it as she spoke animatedly to the world leaders, the jewels on her body making small clinking noises with every movement. 

Lance had spotted perfect (and he means perfect) dark nipples exactly 16 times since they’d all sat down to their meal and absolutely couldn’t take it anymore so that was when he’d turned his attention to Keith. 

And somehow had been unable to turn away from him since.

The other Paladins were stripped some and given a few shiny baubles. Lance himself was wearing flowy pants slit up the sides over the dark boxers he’d thankfully been allowed to continue wearing. A couple gold plated necklaces and an arm band and he was good to go. Lance has no issue being topless and actually kinda liked the style. Hunk was a bit more uncomfortable, same pants, same boxer treatment (his were white with yellow suns on them, Lance clapped him on the back for unintentionally matching.) 

Hunk had the same kind of jewelry too but try all he might he couldn’t drop his hands from where they were wrapped around his chest.

He said he was cold repeatedly but lance figured he was just self conscious and offered him plenty of wolf whistles back in their dressing rooms because “man hunk you wanna bench press me later cause those arms are making me weak~!” 

But sadly it didn’t seem to work. 

Pidge was an interesting sell. Same bottom situation in her signature green but she’d also managed to get away with a pair of socks that she was no longer wearing on her feet.

They were providing just a hint more cover for her chest after she’d wrapped Lance’s, Hunks’s, and her own scarf around herself like a makeshift halter top. The locals hadn’t liked it and Allura had tried to explain that female breasts were nothing to be ashamed of but Pidge’s size and thus assumed age had granted her the “let the child be” excuse. 

And sure, Lance was a grown man who was all for equality and free the nipple and aaallll that jazz but if they had forced his pseudo baby sister to go topless he might have lost his absolute shit and gotten them all sent back to the castle. 

Not that that would have been the worst thing at this point because then he wouldn’t be staring at Keith like this— to avoid staring at Allura! Of course— and then he wouldn’t have gotten elbowed in the side by the Pidgeling and gotten the funny look from Hunk and nah man okay. 

Lance wasn’t ogling the leader of voltron. 

He wasn’t. 

He was just. 

Uh. 

Worried about him. 

Yeah, that’s right. Worried. 

Which was what lead him to follow Keith’s retreating form the second they were allowed to adjourn for the night. 

It’s what compelled him to bump his shoulder and wave a hand in greeting. 

And maybe that pout had something to do with Lance’s laughing, throwing his arm over his shoulders, and ushering him to his room for the night. 

“Come on dude, I've got something for you, stashed from that one planet with the abomination? You know the one… Kell? Krell? It’s good okay, better than what they just tried to feed us. Take the edge off.” 

Take the edge off. 

Famous last words? 

Keith groaned and wrapped his arms around himself tightly but nodded and willingly turned off course from his own room. Lance wondered if this was so easy because he’d been so beaten down by the day or because he actually found solace in Lance’s company. 

He didn’t have the nerve to ask and instead simply sauntered into his room, leaving Keith to stand idly by the newly shut door. 

“It tastes better than nunville but it’s a little stronger so you’re gonna wanna sip at it okay?” 

Keith nodded but his eyes looked glassy, like he wasn’t actually listening. 

Lance moved to his temporary rooms vanity setting and shuffled through his bottles of toiletries. When they’d decided to indulge the locals in their customs and stay a few nights basking in their hospitality Lance had been told to pack quickly but he hadn’t forgotten anything important. This included the little silver pouch that he’d somehow barely touched since keeping it with him all this time. 

He opened the pull top with his teeth to take a small sip before offering it to Keith who was still standing right against the door as if he was afraid to move. Considering how loose the scarf around his waist looked, he might have been. 

He did look… good though. 

Remarkably so. 

Amidst the finery and the sheer and silk fabrics, his hair in a loose braid over one shoulder and that almost permanent flush across his cheeks, he was beautiful and adorable and stunning all at once and it was doing ridiculous things to Lance’s chest. He almost regretted taking the sip that he did because he worried about what he might let slip aloud, looking at Keith like that, but as the alien substance travelled down his throat and warmed his body he kept his wits. He felt the buzzing under his skin but retained his sense. He was here to offer Keith a moment to relax. Nothing more.

He walked over to Keith and instead of handing him the pouch he resealed it and held it softly under one arm as he reached out with both hands for Keith’s waist. 

Keith flinched so hard his back hit the door, “what are you doing?!”

Lance rolled his eyes, pushing closer and grabbing on to the scarf around his waist tugging and tightening it for him. 

“Looked like you were having trouble.”

Keith’s flush was so hot Lance could practically feel it.

Poor thing. 

“Right… thanks…” he stayed against the door but took the pouch when Lance offered it. 

Lance turned to walk over to his bed and make himself comfortable and by the time he turned his attention back to Keith the boy was swallowing.

“You remembered what I said about that stuff being hard hitting… right?”

Keith shrugged.

Took another sip. (This one looked more like a sip at least. Maybe Lance wouldn’t have to carry him back to his room later.)

He sealed the stopper and looked around the room briefly before walking in the straightest line imaginable to sit on the foot of Lance’s bed, holding the pouch out to him again. 

Lance considered it, wondering if it would help or hinder his case to not make a fool of himself with Keith looking like that and decided why not. Besides, he could pace himself, unlike some people. 

When he finished taking his last sip, feeling the warmth and the contentment sitting in his stomach as he leaned back on his elbows on his bed, he hummed to himself and shut the top, putting it to the side. 

Keith shuffled around so his back was to the bed post and he placed his hands over his lap uncomfortably.

“So uh. Was—was that it?”

“Chill Keith. You’ve been looking so tightly wound today I figured you could use a break.” 

Keith visibly paled and moved to curl in on himself but thought better of it. His thumbs started to track back and forth over his fingers though. Bad sign. 

“Relax!” Lance demanded, stretching the vowel sounds to make it more playful. 

Keith neglected to heed this order and instead looked away. 

“Look, I doubt it’ll cause any problems, everyone knows their customs made you uncomfortable. Here, if you want you can go ahead and get under the covers.” Lance reached behind him and pulled up the bed sheets. It would help his own situation too. Cover Keith and that pretty skin of his up. Put that beautiful body away because his own was starting to get ideas he didn’t need. 

He remembered Allura looking just as beautiful if not more so and it helped for a second to feel better mentally but he was still fighting not to be turned on next to half naked (that was being generous) Keith. 

“That might actually be… are you sure? I could just— leave. I could leave.”

Lance rolled his eyes. 

“Would you chill if you left or would you stay up all night worrying about the kinds of impressions you’re leaving?”

Keith was silent. His thumb disappeared behind his pointer to dig his little blunt nail into his middle. 

“Get in the bed. Let me tell you stories.” 

Keith’s eyes lit up at that and for a moment he started forward to crawl across the bed toward where the sheets were up, but he stopped himself again. 

Lance sighed.

“Feeling exposed?”

Keith nodded.

“You know we showered together back at the garrison right? I’ve seen you naked. Completely naked. And lathered.”

Of course, this was before Lance’s full sexual awakening and before Keith had filled out like he did with those abs and thighs for days but uh— that wasn’t a necessary addition to the conversation it just wasn’t. 

Keith still flushed like a tomato and it made Lance’s little traitorous heart do a flip.

“Right right. I forget you didn’t even remember me from the garrison.” Lance offered sardonically, trying to shift the mood. 

Keith bit his lip. Man, even that looked good. Lance wanted to bite that lip. He could just see it. Lip to lip with Keith Kogane groaning out. Lance’s hand on his shoulder pushing him back on the bed, the other reaching beneath him to get a nice big handful of that round perky ass—

Okay. 

Okay maybe Keith shouldn’t get under the covers. 

Maybe he should leave. 

He should leave. 

He should—

Keith started to mumble something when Lance turned away and shut his eyes. 

“Alright you have ten seconds, go on princess.”

It was silent for a moment. 

Lance squeezes his eyes shut tightly because this was the exact opposite of what he was supposed to be doing.

“10.” 

But he was doing it.

“9”

There was the sound of Keith shuffling behind him, pulling up the sheets more and crawling into bed. He was getting comfortable by the time Lance reached 3 and Keith spoke up telling him he could stop. 

Lance nodded and turned around so he could face Keith, continue conversations, see if he could find a relevant story in his brain about his family or something simple back home that would help Keith unwind. 

Instead he was struck a bit dumb by Keith snuggled under his (always color coded) blue bed sheets, his inky black hair splayed out on the pillow. Lance had always thought Keith’s eyes were this remarkable shade of blue but surrounded by all the blue in his bed Lance realized he was wrong. They were clearly more of a violet, wide and staring at him under lashes that were too long and too elegant for a guy who made a living kicking furry alien chinchillas in the face.

And with that thought came the image of Keith kicking ass, those muscle toned legs under skin tight space suits…

Now basically bare and in his bed. 

Naked. 

Naked Keith in his bed. 

Naked Keith in his bed staring at him expectantly like— like—

Right. Right he was waiting for a story. 

Okay. 

Lance flopped onto his side, too close to Keith but in an effort to remain comfortable and casual it had to be done, and went back to racking his mind for an idea that didn’t involve pressing his body as close to Keith’s as physically possible. 

Something jingled as he went down and he remembered the abundance of jewels that had been decorating Keith’s body. 

There were still a few left in his hair that he seemed to not care about but it looked like the little jeweled sandals were there, as were the ones that had decorated his arms.

It took him a second but Lance scooped them up and put them on the bedside table before getting comfortable again. 

“Oh okay so, let me tell you about the time my big sister Veronica brought home the biggest stupidest “boyfriend” she could find…” 

Lance could see Keith smile just beneath the blanket. 

He reached out and started to pick the jewels out of Keith’s hair as he spoke, occasionally running his fingers through it. If Keith had a complaint he didn’t voice it. Besides, just because it was styled stupid didn’t make it any less soft.

By the time Lance got to the big reveal of the story, the part where Veronica had hired the guy to piss off their dad over an argument they’d had about Veronica’s openness to bringing a girlfriend home (maybe, in the future), Keith had completely knocked out.

And for some reason, Lance thought that was alright.

They could totally just. Sleep in the same bed. No problem.

With Keith wearing nothing but a silk scarf.

He thought this was a perfectly good idea as he showered and put on a fresh pair of boxers and crawled under his sheets to the sound of Keith’s light breathing.

He was a little dizzy, but forgot that the biggest after effect of inebriation was poor judgement, and easily curled up next to Keith.

Keith, who was just awake enough to take Lance’s hand.

Lance thought it was adorable.

Because Keith was adorable. 

And Lance wanted to be touching his skin like this (sort of) anyway.

It worked for him. 

He was sleepy too.

So sleepy he lapsed almost instantly into dreams.

Dreams of Allura dancing just out of his reach. Of her nonchalance at his flirting and efforts to be noticed by her. Making him feel useless. Undesirable. Unworthy.

He was so pathetic.

Keith’s voice was in his head. 

Telling him how kind he was. How sweet he was.

“I couldn’t do any of this without you Lance.”

“I need you.”

“I hope you know that. I hope you know that—if you could see yourself how I see you…”

“Lance you’re so…”

“I want…”

“I wish…”

Keith was at his side. Mumbling those nothings into his ear in little breathy sighs. 

It felt nice. 

It was nice to hear. 

Nice to feel Keith pressing in beside him.

“I wish you could see what I see in you… love yourself as much as I do...Lance, I…”

Well this was awfully self indulgent of him. Dreaming of a Keith who would say those kinds of things. As if the real Keith capital L Loved him. 

Like Lance hadn’t spent years trying to get his attention the same way he had with Allura too. 

As if he hadn’t gotten shot down with every attempt to—

“I liked you then too! I was just… afraid to let anyone in…”

“Liar, you didn’t even remember me.”

“That was the lie…”

“That was…?”

“You were so cute… always trying so hard… always going the extra effort to make people smile or laugh… I always thought you were…”

“You liked me back at the garrison? Like... one smoothie two straws, like-like…?”

Keith turned away, rolling onto his side. Face probably flushed a deep crimson again. Man he was so cute…!

“Like write your name in my notebook with a bunch of hearts, like-like… yeah.”

Extremely self indulgent dream. 

But Lance was gonna take it.

He squeezed himself close to Keith’s body, wrapping an arm around his chest as Keith jumped.

“And now you…?”

“Now I…”

It was silent. 

Lance tried to ignore how perfectly Keith’s ass cheeks felt pressed to his crotch.

He felt naked.

Naked Keith in his bed. Saying all these pretty hopeful things...What a perfect dream…

Lance gently bumped his hips. He couldn’t help it, and it was his dream after all right?

Keith was silent, but reached a hand back to slide down Lance’s waist, breathing loud.

Was that how Lance’s mind worked? Show me a love confession followed by an immediate bone. 

Lance’s wet dreams were clearly things of substance.

“Do you love me?”

He bumped his hips again. His dick hardening fast.

Keith’s fingers dug into Lance’s boxers, applying just enough pressure to drive him forward, keep him pressed to his ass.

“I do… do you…?”

“Hmm… never thought about it before.”

Keith made a low unhappy noise.

“I def love your face… your so fucking pretty face…” 

Keith went silent again. Lance ground his hips against him and his hard cock was finding a very comfortable place right between his cheeks. 

“And I love this body...your ass is heaven, Keith, wish you could feel this...” 

Keith was definitely naked. Naked enough that Lance was desperate to get out of his boxers. 

How could his dream provide him perfectly naked love confessing Keith and not leave Lance equally perfectly naked?

Sense, where was it?

“I love how brave you are… stupid and reckless and it drives me insane with worry. But brave.” 

Keith backed into Lance’s lap, rolling his hips and made Lance’s mind stutter.

“I love how—how much you care about things even when you don’t show it… I love your laugh…”

He could feel Keith’s entire body against his front, a single useless silk scarf around his waist, the rest probably lost somewhere in the bed. His hand found one of Keith’s nipples and he started to slowly rub his fingers around the nub causing Keith to raise his chest into the touch a bit more with a small high pitched sound.

“I love how you hum during flight simulations and I always leave coms open so I can hear you…”

With Keith raising his chest for Lance’s hand it gave him a moment to slip his other hand underneath him. He pinched his nipple between his thumb and forefinger once before sliding that first hand down the span of his body. Feather light touches over the ridges of his abs, loving the way Keith twitched and rocked harder back into Lance. 

“I love how unbelievably dense you could be sometimes, you’re such a mess you’re perfect—” Lance moved his head so he was right against Keith’s ear for the word “perfect” but lost his nerve when he dropped his face into the back of Keith’s neck, “What am I saying… of course I love you.”

Did Lance have feelings for Allura? Yes. Did he wish she’d reciprocate? Yeah. 

Did Lance feel guilty about indulging himself in a dream with someone who he also had some very strong (possibly stronger) feelings for? No, not at all. 

Because real talk? If Keith had said half of this in real life Lance’s heart would have combusted and he would have kissed the life out of him by now—

Because that was just what Keith did to him sometimes. 

He just… blew his mind with how much he could make Lance feel. 

Christ.

Good lord.

He hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunity to kiss him yet. 

He reached up with the arm that was beneath Keith, his hand spreading wide over his neck to grab his jaw and tentatively guide him to face him. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Keith’s hips ground back hard as he laughed, “you’re asking that now?”

He was right. 

Besides, kinda stupid to ask permission from a dream right? 

“Stupid stupid me, right?” 

“Stop that.”

“Right let’s get to the smooching.”

“Yeah alright I take it back.”

“If you love me you have to love all of me.”

Lance could practically hear Keith rolling his eyes. 

“Hey it’s my dream—“

And it was absolutely superpowered. Maybe there was something in his drink that had different properties on this planet because when Keith parted his lips and lifted his head they had never looked so inviting in his life. He had to stop himself mid sentence to dive for those lips.

Smashed up his nose a little bit on Keith’s cheek which he was sure he would have felt too if this wasn’t a dream but Lance didn’t care because he was kissing Keith Kogane.

And yes. He’d had plenty of dreams where he’d kissed Keith. Plenty of dreams where they’d made out on the rec room floor or the garrison showers or had sex in reds cockpit. 

But they had never ever felt like this.

His brain practically fizzled out. 

He felt Keith’s tongue against his and then suddenly it was gone.

Felt like he was falling, disoriented. Someone (Keith?) reached out to catch him. Dug little blunt nails into his arm in panic.

“Lance—what—“

The dream shifted. Lance was alone, floating in an empty pool, naked and confused and annoyed.

The water was cold but didn’t make him shiver. 

There was a splash in the distance, and Lance hoped it was Keith but he couldn’t see anything. Time passed and he started to lose sense of where he or the water began. 

He’d have given anything to be back with Keith. 

What a shitty way to end his dream…

When he woke up his throat was dry, like he’d had too much to drink the night before and his head spun a bit. 

He sat up and found he was on the far side of the bed where Keith had gone to sleep. Didn’t even see Keith, so maybe he’d gotten up earlier and Lance had managed to settle into place where his body heat had been. 

Of course that was for mere moments before he glanced to the opposite side of his bed and found… himself?

He also realized very suddenly he was buttnaked with only a silk scarf tied loosely around his hips and his hair was long enough to tickle his shoulders.

He looked down at himself and saw the expanse of absolutely flawless Keith body, down to the little dark hairs just under that useless scarf.

Lance wasn’t sure why he did it, but he reached down to grab himself in his palm (Keith in Keith’s palm??) And was immediately overwhelmed by the sensation of it. He had to bite his lip to keep quiet and fell back on the bed hard as his hand tightened to seek out the feeling. He was partially hard already and from the feeling of it he must have been suffering all night.

But excuse you Lance. This isn’t your body what are you doing? 

Dreaming? Still? Could have sworn he was very much awake now…

He forced himself to stop, noting quietly that he was absolutely not going to forget what it felt like, and looked over at his own body. 

Had to be a dream. 

Had to be.

He shut his eyes, letting his finger tips graze over the inside of Keith’s thighs because dream or no there were so many nice things about that he was gonna keep doing it.

Well until someone shook him awake (again?) 

It was strange seeing an expression that was so clearly Keith, puzzled with furrowed brows and tight lips, on his own face. 

But there it was. 

Staring at him like he was the strangest mystery in the known universe. Which, to be fair, if he was still wearing Keith’s face he kind of was. (And kind of had to be considering he definitely wasn’t the one wearing his own face.) 

Keith (you know, it felt like Keith and acted like Keith, but he really didn’t know if that was Keith) was the first to register the shock of the mornings revelation. Lance actually felt kinda slow and confused. Maybe he’d drank too much— no wait, Keith did. 

Anyway.

So. 

Keith started screaming. And Lance started screaming. 

And maybe that wasn’t a great idea while guests on a diplomatic mission in another world palace with your comrades in arms down the hall while you’re both pretty naked and in bed together. 

But uh. 

Fun morning.

[gayregis]

I read “A Little Sacrifice” and now I am a MESS

fun fact: i read the books out of order on purpose because i am very focused on instant gratifaction, so i read all of the hansa parts first and then went back to all of the rest of the books, thus i read the assault on castle stygga before a little sacrifice

so when i backtracked and read a little sacrifice, i had a very spiteful look on my face, like sapkowski fucking did it again, huh...

a little sacrifice has a lot of depth and it has a beautifully written sad ending but the first time i read it (with the fan translation from reddit) i didnt quite know what was being translated and what wasnt so i didnt know if i was missing any context, plus when i read, i skim and then go back a thousand times to reread it if i liked it, so i was just extremely confused as to what the fuck the relationship geralt and essi was supposed to be like, and then you get to the end and it’s like well i guess their relationship doesnt even matter after all because she’ll never show up again

also i remember being physically nauseous at reading that essi couldn’t be over 18, especially since i was like 17-18 when i read it a couple of years ago. yeah that basically was the closest i ever got to leaving the witcher fandom entirely, i had like this whole conversation with myself at 2 AM about the decision to stay in the fandom if i have to deal with this being canon, the solution i have come up with for it is that i simply do not acknowledge that part as canon and essi is like 25 in my mind and also she never fell in love with geralt

on one hand i think the story of unrequited love/doomed romance is interesting solely because it is something that you’re not meant to be like “aww cute i hope they get together” at, it’s a terrible fucking relationship in context. and geralt mentions this multiple times because he’s So Monogamous all he wants is yennefer, and this was an interesting way to develop your main romance, sapkowski does this like ten times in the series, where geralt and yennefer are fucking miles apart but somehow their romance gets developed during this period. i think it’s the embodiment of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and it’s something that realy flew over CDPR’s heads, like they didn’t have a “hot and cold” / “on again off again” relationship, they both had a lot of issues relating to intimacy and committment and self-image which prevented them from true intimacy even though they had become very vulnerable with one another

on the other essi’s purpose in this story is literally just to fall in love with the main character and then die. like. i was genuinely mad because it wasn’t even a valorous death for a symbolic reason, such as with the hansa who die to demonstrate that an exchange of lives has occured. essi just dies because it’s sad and there’s not much place for her later in the series. i was genuinely mad because she had this really great relationship with dandelion and seeing that expanded on was something i felt we got cheated out of. all of the geralt and essi scenes we got i think should have been proportioned in a 1:2 ratio with scenes with her and dandelion / her and dandelion and geralt as a group, because she really didn’t get enough development of her own but had a lot of potential. 

plus sapkowski was just like “actually dandelion isn’t always incredibly self-absorbed and blinded by arrogance, let me demonstrate situations in which he cares deeply about the people involved and acts appropriately” and then immediately tossed that concept out of the window until we get to the end of time of contempt/roll into baptism of fire. like you’re really going to throw away the potential for depth and development for one of the main characters that’s the constant contrast to your main character. idk it was just nice to see how dandelion’s character changed to be more mature with essi in the room bc that’s his little sister ;w;

also can i just say the subplot with sh’eenaz and duke agloval annoyed me to no end. the message of the main plot is supposed to be that a little sacrifice for love is actually a really large sacrifice, and geralt refuses to hold any resentment against yennefer anymore because he realizes that she has sacrificed a lot for him and he hasn’t in return:

“A little sacrifice isn’t enough here; you’d have to sacrifice everything, and there’d still be no way of knowing if that would be enough (...) Now I know that a little sacrifice is a hell of a lot.” 

but then sh’eenaz loses her fishy tail for duke agloval ON TOP of all of the sacrifices she has made for him before? i can’t deal with this, i call bullshit. the duke has NO redeeming qualities and i still can’t see them as a couple because he was such a dick. so this relationship being part of what demonstrates “a little sacrifice” really just serves to muddle the message of the short story

i have an idea to rewrite the whole thing so to make essi x sh’eenaz real (there is potential in this ship) and the message clearer. i think there should be no romance between essi and geralt because it’s weird and for a character who is basically just Younger & Female Dandelion to immediately fall hard and fast in love with geralt is eye-rolling. i get that it’s about the message and themes of the story and not about the characters, i understand this, the characters actually matter very little, but the message would even be clearer if sh’eenaz had left the duke for essi, because it would show that sh’eenaz has already sacrificed, she’s already done so much, and because the duke never reciprocated, she left him and found love with a better person. and that could be geralt’s wakeup call that a little sacrifice really is a hell of a lot, it would send him hightailing to apologize to yennefer or at least communicate to her that he appreciates her sacrifices that she has made for him, because if you don’t appreciate the sacrifices, you will lose your loved ones.

also ofc i’d involve gerlion and all of this because i feel like there is this weird, buried trail of gerlion vs geryennefer running throughout the sword of destiny, here is my “im looking at this too closely” analysis of the path of how gerlion and geryennefer both get to exist:

bounds of reason - geralt is of course still on good terms with dandelion, but needs to mend things with yennefer, and he manages to do so by the end of the story, also dandelion and yennefer are mildly antagonistic to each other (i also cross out That Comment/Joke/Scene from my mind just fyi, its really just horrible and out of place so i cant consider it as canon)

a shard of ice - geralt and yennefer still have feelings for each other but end up separated by the end of the short story because of insecurities relating to their capacities for love and their relationships with others: there is this contrast between yennefer and istredd, which is a long relationship of friendship and istredd is someone yennefer goes to when she needs security that she will be loved, geralt is someone in contrast that she is very passionately in love with and isn’t really thinking about longtime reliability with

eternal flame - geralt and yennefer have called it quits for now, dandelion also just broke up with his girlfriend, geralt and dandelion meet in a city and decide to get smashed together. that situation alone calls for a single eyes emoji. but id like to point out the parallel here between yen/istredd and geralt/dandelion, dandelion is someone geralt goes to for security in that he will be loved, that his company will be liked and appreciated. also one of the stupidest things ive come up with is that “eternal flame” does mean some romantic interest who’s been in your life seemingly forever and you’ll always love, and the story IS called... ok anyways.... at the end of the story we are presented with this weirdly emotional scene as dudu changes into dandelion because from being geralt for a few seconds, he knows his thoughts and knows that geralt will never use violence against him & that he’ll let him go... this is a very interesting scene because of how comic the rest of the story is in tone

a little sacrifice [rewritten] - so my take on this would be that geralt and dandelion have unresolved and unacknowledged closeness and it’s eating at the both of them. geralt is just annoying because he doesn’t think he’s ‘normal’ enough for love, basically nothing really needs to change except the last 3 to 4 chapters... they still have the argument in bed, they still go to investigate the dragon’s teeth together. just instead of essi randomly confessing the all-consuming, obsessive romantic feelings for geralt that she developed in less than 35 pages, dandelion and geralt are the ones sitting down just discussing what is going on with their relationship that has been developed in-depth for i guess five short stories now (including the voice of reason) and around 15 to 20 in-universe years that have not had any affect on their ages because that’s narrative for you. instead of geralt having to console a lovesick girl crying over him and thinking that he can’t make this little sacrifice, the theme of sacrifice for love is carried over by a discussion of how much they have already sacrificed for one another over the years, and contributes to the redux theme of “sacrifice for love needs to be reciprocated.” simultaneously, after sh’eenaz leaves the duke for a better option, geralt realizes the meaning of a little sacrifice and realizes how he has acted poorly towards yennefer, and seeks to make things right with her again. THUS we can have both ships and they wont conflict.

the sword of destiny - holy shit none of this romance drama shit matters AFTER ALL. actually it’s the CHILD which has been important all of this time, and it’s time to be responsible or invite doom across the threshold... ah wait okay doom has already entered the house. doom is eating tostitos and bean dip.

something more - following consequences of the end of the sword of destiny. obviously about ciri but yennefer and dandelion also have incredibly significant scenes in this short story and i think it’s just to represent that they’re also important in geralt’s life

beginning of blood of elves - yennefer and dandelion actually have a good conversation about everything including geralt and they basically matrue up and agree to never be hostile towards each other ever again. they both see that the others give him something that they cannot, and they’re not in competition with each other at all

tl;dr

[aparticularbandit]

bandit this is so late i'm so sorry but i was just cleaning out my likes and i came across your slightly invasive gay asks and i was wondering if you'd be willing to answer 4, 8, 27, and 30?

no worries whatsoever!  ^^  and yes, let me answer things.  :D

slightly invasive gay asks

4) what do you wish you could tell your past self?

i know you’re confused.  it’s okay to be confused.  and i know you are trying to accept yourself in terms of well, okay, if that’s the case, that’s the case and that you might accept that part but then shut yourself off from what it can mean.  and that’s okay, too.

but there’s so much more than you think you know.  and let’s be real, past me, you probably hate who i’ve become, and that’s okay, too.  you’re a little self-righteous.  you think you can hold yourself together.  and i want you to know that it is okay to fall because you will be picked up.also.  you should go to your university’s lgbtqia+ alliance.  i know that’s a part of your identity you want to accept is there but also fight, but like.  when you’re older, you’re going to regret not being involved in that community, so just go.

8) when did you find out your sexuality?

well.  technically, my freshman year of college i found out that asexuality was a thing and began using that label because yo, that’s a thing? and it was that whole there’s a word for me but also it was such a huge relief.i started questioning my sexuality when i was in middle school (i thought i might be gay, and it’s...more complicated than that because ace using split attraction model yay).

when it comes to the more specific aegosexual and apothissexual, that was...sometime in the past...five? years?  three years?  i think apothissexual i started using in the past couple of years.  i’m not sure there was a specific yeah, that’s me the same way there was for asexual, though, because those are more me trying to figure out the specifics within the asexual umbrella.

27) tell me a random fact about yourself?

oh these are so hard because it’s like.  how personal do i get with these random facts.  what random facts are appropriate.  but since the general theme for these is slightly invasive and gay, that should be my marker for the random fact, yeah?  yeah.

i’m bpd - this comes back to the main thing - and one of the hallmarks of that disorder is having a favorite person, which i’ll refer to as an fp.  the closest i’ve seen it represented in fiction in a way that makes sense is the whole imprinting thing (as problematic as it is) in breaking dawn.  that’s the best explanation i’ve got for it (combined a little bit with how amy elliott dunne’s love of nick turned to absolute hatred of him; there is that aspect).  and for me, my fp has (as much as i can remember) almost always been female.which is why i thought i was gay as far back as middle school.  because i looked at that and i heard people talking about crushes and here was this huge thing that felt so big and so immediate and etc. and i thought well, this has got to be a crush but the definition didn’t really fit the same? but it was the closest i could come to explaining it to people?but i’ve had crushes - both before that and after - and they do feel different.

so for me, romantic orientation is such a confusing concept that, while i use biromantic now, it’s like.  is that even really right when i have such an attachment to women and such huge disdain for men (and also as a primarily sex-repulsed ace, i have a hard time liking guys because hey, they’re super sexual, the idea of me personally having sex tends to make me nauseous and uncomfortable, so, uh, eh) and then do i really like guys or is that just pressure from the community i’m part of and the expectation for so much of my life that i would eventually marry a guy?  like??  idk?

30) any advice to someone who isn’t out or who is exploring themselves?

it’s okay to not know.  it’s okay to try on labels and find the one that fits, and it’s okay if a label fits now but doesn’t fit later.  it’s okay to learn more about yourself and how these things work, and it’s okay to not be out.  it sucks a lot to hide who you are or who you’re learning you are, and it sucks to not be able to explore that avenue offline.  it really sucks.but it gets better.  and maybe better is something small, maybe it’s just knowing who you are, even if no one else knows it.  but just - hold on.  things can seem so big and so overwhelming and so horrible, especially when you’re afraid and you’re hiding and you’re unsure and you don’t know.  but take a deep breath and take it one step at a time.  it’s important to keep yourself afloat.  don’t drown under all of that weight.if you can, find someone you can talk to about everything that’s going on.  keep that age appropriate.  be careful who you are inviting into your inner circle because just because people are in the community doesn’t mean they’re trustworthy.  be careful.

and take care of yourself.