#idk if im being coherent

[acediscowlng]

thinking about how both edwin and charles refer to edwin getting sent to hell as a technicality or a clerical error and like. it's not. that's not what happened. edwin was sacrificed. hell had a mechanism for accepting innocent souls. edwin ending up in hell wasn't a loophole or a mistake someone made along the way. it was a system that was working exactly the way it was intended.

and thinking about the idea of hell and the idea of forgiveness and the idea that you only stay in hell if you feel like you belong there. and how edwin says that he was never meant to be in hell to begin with but still building up a case for himself to prove it because him not deserving hell might not be immediately obvious

thinking about how edwin died because of a hate crime, how he died being made to feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with him and getting sent to hell right after. and thinking about how edwin saying "if you punish yourself, everywhere becomes hell" and over a century of repression and supressing the parts of himself that got him killed, that got him sent to hell in the first place. and thinking about how when the night nurse looked at edwin's file, it didn't know if he belonged in hell or somewhere else either because edwin didn't know because edwin knows that he never did anything to deserve hell but he didn't get sent to hell because of anything he did but because of what he is and maybe there's a difference and maybe he believes that he never did anything wrong but maybe some part of him believes that he, personally, is wrong

and thinking about forgiveness and salvation and how people actually get out of hell, and how edwin forgave simon because they were two queer kids in the same shitty situation both in life and in death and it didn't matter how simon hurt edwin because he still needed to understand that being gay was not a punishment, and thinking about simon getting out of hell right after

and thinking about edwin confessing his love for charles on the steps of hell and getting to leave right after and how hell is something you make for yourself and how edwin escaped the first time but he never forgave himself for what he is and not something hecdid maybe hell still had a hold on him after all those years and it wasn't until he let himself be honest about it and be gay and love boys and allowed himself to actively choose to be the person he is and deciding that that person is someone who is allowed to feel and love and that that kind of love was not a punishment and thinking about how edwin escaped hell by not just allowing himself to love but leaving behind all the ways he was punishing himself for it

[twenty-qs]

Can’t stop thinking about the way patho 3 will recontextualize everything. Like it was always a given, of course, that Bachelor was doing stuff in the background of the Haruspex story. But looking at the brief glimpses of charts and numbers and graphs, it’s dawning on me how much flew over my head from patho 2. Like the first day of the plague, you’re just stumbling around and suddenly — fire. Guards. Blockade. It makes sense as a gameplay mechanic, so you don’t stop to question how it’s there. You’re so busy rushing everywhere trying to attend to the Town’s needs at the ground level that you don’t even really notice the way quarantines are set up every day around every plague district without fail. But in-world, someone had to get up every morning and figure out which district needs the quarantine and allocate the people and resources appropriately. And that someone is the Bachelor. Which means that in Patho 3 it’s going to be the player.

It’s like…small town administration, but a horror thriller. He sees the Town completely differently from Haruspex, but it’s no less valid. Even in the version of the game where Haruspex is the ‘hero,’ even with all the obvious ways Bachelor fails, he still helps to mitigate the harm. We’re finally going to see just how bad it could’ve gotten without an administrator running things from a bird’s-eye view. Without someone there to ‘flatten the curve.’

[ash-and-starlight]

.

[insufferablemod]

thinking about the differences and similarities between aradia and dave and their doomed selves.......................... dave walking on a constant tightrope to keep himself and his friends on the alpha timeline, doing everything he can, giving up his personhood, walking over his own corpse time and time again, aware that one wrong move dooms them all meanwhile i know aradia was also aware of this but doesn't seem to care, partially cus of being a dead robot sure but also maybe because their doomed selves function in different ways. dave's act as a warning and safety net for the alpha timeline, they show him what he has to do to keep the alpha timeline safe aradia's are a tool, a weapon, the more of them there are the stronger she is which makes me think its likely that unlike dave, during the trolls session aradia didn't try and stop any doomed timeline offshoots. i don't think shes the type to have Encouraged them, actively dooming timelines, but it was a necessary part of her role. for them to win, they needed an army both aradia and dave also view the end result as the only important factor, the end justifies the means aradia talking to dead dave about how dave needs to be prepared to die a thousand deaths to complete their quest dave not telling jade that shes about to pump him full of lead both use it as an excuse/justification to do what they want in a way, ghost aradia wrecking random shit, but its fine, there's probably a reason for it, and if there's not, one more doomed timeline is just another doomed self to join the final battle dave's thing about being mad that no one else seems mad n how this way he at least gets to try n go for jack, even knowing hell die, he saw it happen so hes allowed to be reckless, hes allowed to let go the freedom and captivity of time you both have no control over anything, forced to follow the whims of The Alpha timeline if you want to survive, but it also absolves you of responsibility, it Had to happen this way we'd all have been doomed if it hadn't.

[crustyfloor]

seen a interesting post on Twitter regarding the pencil line from Till, that said that this line signifies that Ivan WAS on Tills mind, especially since this was a incident that happened when they were young, and that this was his way of saying "I see you"

Really now....truthfully I didn't know how else to read pencil.exe other than Till just wanting his pencil back, but hearing this I feel like my eyes were opened

Ivan has been said to have a perk for stealing Till's things and giving them back to him like an evil secret Santa, and I always found it odd why he was never told off for it, Till is smart, and has been smart since he was a kid, surely he would catch onto the fact that all these trinkets of his were stolen and just so miraculously found by Ivan? I think the dude just genuinely didn't mind, letting Ivan humor himself since at least he wasn't gatekeeping his stuff. And so the pencil, why would he have such a care for it anyway? well, the goodbye cards were made when Ivan and Till were ultimately about to be separated, I think their relationship may have strained a bit after they all passed,(?) something had to happen because the way Till was about the pencil was the most indirect question alluding to a direct statement I've ever seen. Till was so utterly focused on Mizi but a part of him did want to keep Ivan close when they were kids, why this was the way to regard that? why he couldn't do anything else? well, I guess this was just the most kid Till with his mixed feelings about Ivan could do, because even if he saw Ivan as a nuisance i myself am sure that he considered Ivan a close friend despite Ivan thinking he didn't.

I also found some context and it stated that Till already had his pencil back. Ivan had found it for him, so whats with mentioning it now? I think that was Till's attempt to get Ivan to talk to him again and explain himself so that Till could swing in and try to build their friendship back. Ivan was always on Till's mind and he cared deeply about him, the pencil was only an excuse to say "I see you, I will always remember you." but Till just didn't have the greatest methods of getting that across to Ivan,

And I assume they never did approach the topic of the pen so Ivan and Till never got the chance to talk again and steadily grew apart, and here we are now. but at least we have some idea that Till didn't really hate Ivan or something, this is a plausible take on the deeper meaning of pencil.exe imo.

[sun-of-4-gun]

Stick, The Monkey King's Plot Device: An Analysis

a matter of Free Will, Creativity, Control, Ownership, Choice, and Consent of an animated inanimate character

aka chronological notes of what happens in the movie with interpretative thoughts

for 5,000 years, stick only ever stood in one place in silence

the crystal palace was either; built around him, or he was left there tho it's hard to believe the center pillar of dragon king's home just has a spot reserved for him. I believe it's the former however it was, he never had a choice

dragon had stick stuck in a machine that will force and use him and his power to create a storm and flood, which is the opposite of what his original purpose was that got him down there to begin with thousands of years ago. an overglorified water meter

monkey was in search of the ultimate weapon, but stick said the first word. he's been waiting and immediately calls him "the most powerful being". this is promptly followed by being complimented not once, but twice from the guy he just met (ie "you are incredible") it is important to note monkey had never any positive assurance in his entire life, yet he says these things to stick, he makes this about stick, rather than himself

stick jumps into action and carries the battle, but he prioritises monkey's safety

he is a go-getter, taking the lead to take his new friend forward. he is a driving force that enables monkey to do what he does. he is excitable, violent, eager to please. stick has never been used in so long, he has a lot of pent up energy just bursting to get out. he protects monkey, but he is obedient to the point of losing his self by taking things literally. this should teach monkey how he works, that he is dependent on his wielder, his master, and that's why he couldn't have left the palace or dragon himself. he is a tool, who's entire existence is in the hands of whoever possesses him. he wants to be used and be useful. he wants to serve a purpose

monkey tells stick what to do, he listens, monkey tells stick to stop, he does so. and stick will do the best possible thing for them to show monkey what they are capable of together, giving him the confidence to trust his weapon as much as stick's chosen to trust him, that no matter what happens as long they communication, they will have each other's back

stick shares monkey's joys and sorrows. he cheers along the troop for his new name and groans when it seemed monkey got sad. they share excitement and aggressive tendencies too

they are more like a single entity with two equal parts rather than a pair, but it's not wrong to call them that either. mind & body, heart & soul, in action they are one, as people they are two, but must be kept together in order to work perfectly. stick is an extension of monkey, and monkey is an extension of stick. they match each others freak save for minor differences in preference and personality. when not in use, stick stands on his own, he reacts similarly as monkey, turns to him, and provides emphasis for the occasional words. he is completely supportive and always by his side if only a foot apart or at arms length, never out of reach

monkey is the same in the way that he values stick's own desires that are seemingly separate from himself. he is considerate of his weapon's wants despite having no impact or benefit to his own except maybe boost his ego. they share an ambition, yet something so minor like playing the guitar is so important to him because it's something stick wants. he didn't even ask if stick wanted anything, he already has him in mind, it was a matter of what and absolute that he gets it

the theme song is sung by stick's voice actor, the singer "ultimate screaming master" aka nan li from voodoo kungfu, an outstanding "world heavy metal music" band. so you could say stick wrote and sang a song about monkey throughout their 99 demons together. I know the lyrics are from monkey himself, the words are his, stick is the music, together they create harmony

stick is bloodthirsty, and he is an artist. both actions are forms of self-expression after lying dormant for millenniums. the same can be said for monkey in that he created an imaginary family, paired with his and stick's signature head-bashing, skull-splitting move, except he does this in sought of attention for being deprived of it his entire childhood, stick has always been the center of, yet was never heard, and the only thought he wants and cares about is from monkey

it was his idea the way they defeat red girl, unpromptly suggested

stick left his "home", because he finally could. he was stolen from dragon, who housed him. he was found by monkey, who allows him to be. stick can't be on his own without his wielder's permission and even then they're in close proximity of each other. monkey allows for stick's autonomy and will to be as free as he can be. he treats stick like a person more than the actual people he interacts with, while dragon still treats stick as property even after discovering he could talk. he doesn't care that stick has feelings, he only wants to abuse his power

Monkey: “What's wrong, Stick? You know this chump?”

Dragon: “Stick? You never talked to me!”

when dragon showed up, this is the only time stick vocalised in a way that it aggravated monkey enough to close his ears. stick doesn't get to say anything else, and he doesn't have to because no one but monkey listens to him, he doesn't need an explanation to come to his friend's defence. the same way stick is in-between the demons and monkey, this time monkey is shielding stick from dragon. a former roommate, acts like a controlling parent or possessive ex

Monkey, to Dragon: “You love my Stick, everyone loves the stick, but no one appreciates Stick like I do.”

Stick: “[incessant urgent warbling]”

Monkey: “Quiet Stick, the grown-ups are talking.”

of course monkey isn't perfect either, in the heat of the moment he ignores stick to protect him, and stick never holds a grudge or resentment towards monkey for his blunders, only dragon was met with initial hostility, but then none at all for the rest of the movie. stick is never really even annoyed with his partner, it just seems like he loves everything about him and wants the best for him, because that would mean what's best for himself too

dragon tries to talk to stick to come back, but monkey says he only listens to him. dragon responds with "I don't see a ring on it, honey" which is from the euphemism for a marriage proposal. dragon clearly doesn't approve of their relationship though this implies that in order for them to be together, they need to be wedded

without monkey, stick doesn't have a will. without a person, he is useless. he has no life, no will to life. it's meaningless without monkey, who he's waited for forever

he laughs at his jokes, they share a sense of humour

stick knows about hell. he knows about the scrolls of life and death

he could not have learned this during the 100 demons slaying because monkey would have known. the reason why stick never mentioned "crossing your name to cancel your death in order to become immortal" is that monkey was under the impression he would win the immortal ones' approval by conquering demons like the elder lead them to believe. why stick never corrected him, this wasn't the mission. stick is at his service, not looking specifically for the most efficient way to do things. he is able to have fun and live his best life with monkey and if the adventure ends, what is there left to do? he wouldn't want to be abandoned again. so he answers monkey's questions because monkey asked, not because stick has an obligation to be conscious or aware of how things play out, but because he's literal and needs to be direct with. whatever it is, he will enable monkey's desires, because what he wants, they both do

they argue about bringing lin along, in which stick advocates for her and scolds monkey because he knows her worth and neither of them can read. if monkey completely owns stick, why would he allow him to knock some sense into himself and fight about something like this? does stick actually have free will to be independent and has merely been sassily playing with monkey and dragons feelings because he enjoys the attention of those two competing for him, or does monkey allow stick to be his own person without the restraint of pleasing his ego in that he is cared for even if he doesn't like it because he subconsciously understands he can't do everything on his own and needs stick to be his conscience too, for both their sakes

their expressions often mirror each other, the way they move even apart is in sync, and they exchange glances, like you do with your best friend

stick also knows about cloning, which he also never told monkey that he knows they can both apparently do. the situation called for it so it's pretty reasonable, but why does stick know more about monkey's abilities than he himself does?

steroids, another song by voodoo kungfu, is used during the fight

although apparently stick didn't know enough as "cancelling your death date" only makes you half-immortal, but monkey immediately blames lin despite it being entirely stick's idea

stick is already immortal, he's an eternal object and looks good for above 5,000 years old. he just needs to keep his friend, who he's known for at least a couple years, alive. least he becomes alone again

stick finds monkey's prank on lin hilarious, monkey makes him laugh

stick sings along with monkey while they search for lin, he yells at her after too

monkey considers stick his best friend and family

stick doesn't care to say anything during the entire peach grove scene. not about benbo & babbo, not about dragon, even though he was used to jab at him. monkey is drugged, therefore his mind isn't intact, which seemingly affects stick's behaviour as well in that he isn't very conscious. they both get knocked ou

he jolts awake after monkey does

stick is empathetic, monkey is apathetic. there is a little bit of the other to them in a yin-yang sense, because stick only empathises with monkey, and maybe lin twice on-screen, while monkey has no consideration for anyone but himself, stick, and eventually lin to an extent. they only care for each other, as stick isn't concerned about anyone else, but monkey does in a way. both for selfish reasons

stick cannot be wielded by a baby monkey, he goes to sleep

monkey tells stick to help lin, he shrinks down for her to use

he sleeps again when monkey is kicked through the roof

despite being unconscious, stick extends himself towards monkey to give the elixir

stick is just as excited as monkey is, if not more, and is ready to fight, but when lin falls, he got worried for her too

lin teases monkey, talking to stick, and he laughs with her. he isn't above laughing at his friend's expense and with someone other than him no less, someone monkey handed him over to in the moment. he was trusted with to assist her and wasn't even aware of lin's attempt to steal him away. if monkey was a controlling master and stick the obedient weapon that he is, how is it that he's able to freely make fun of his own best friend? monkey shuts him up, and he complies, but the fact is while he is always supportive of monkey, he is capable of poking fun at and arguing with him too, usually provoked

stick is left alone with lin again, and is promptly sold out

"momentary fling" sir this is a family movie

stick is inactive throughout his entire hold in dragon's clutches. he is nothing but a prize to be won, a tool to be abused. monkey may need him in every battle to win, but stick has been a damsel-in-distress twice. he is handled by dragon, forced back into a machine that awakens and makes him grow. none of this he chose, none he wanted, he can't leave without help. while he is fulfilling a purpose, he isn't doing this out of his own will. he doesn't choose dragon and doesn't consent to being used this way, but it doesn't matter because dragon doesn't need his compliance, as long the machine works and he's useful

they are so happy to see each other, and missed one another so much,,,

stick is devoted to monkey. he enables him, needs him for his entire being and existence. if it were to be anyone in the universe he will always choose monkey. caught in the middle of the final battle, despite the brief grasp dragon has on him, he is able to fight for his self because monkey is there for him to return to and fall back on. to live in utter depravity under someone who only takes from and forces you into doing his bidding, it's not living at all. monkey gives him a life, stick lives for him and gets to be himself because he's allowed to be as much of a person any object is capable of

monkey is incredibly significant to stick. he is his entire world, and the same goes for him to monkey

they're separated again, the last thing he heard was monkey's desperate cry of his name after he couldn't handle buddha's clutch

lin found stick, either by chance or he called out to her. and he shrank for her once more so she could easily reunite him with his monkey. he doesn't even know she's the one who gave him away, but I don't think he'd hold it against her. he's a staff, not human or demon with complex thoughts and feelings. a simple stick who has a colourful personality, vibrant soul, and passion for music

he flies right into monkey's hold thanks to lin

monkey is stick's home, he is his best friend, his family, his life. they are symbiotic and co-dependent, for breaking them apart would leave them wrecked on their own, one completely helpless and the other out of his mind. there is a fear of abandonment within stick and separation anxiety in monkey, but only one of them has the ability to do something about it, and monkey allows for stick to be unbound by his own ego. they're a team, each others comfort

they meditate together, being one with each other, and stick is just as important as monkey because "the world needs us"

to summarise; stick is a deeply emotional, straight-forward, fun-loving, whimsical, thrill-seeking sentient weapon who's been deprived of activity for thousands of years, which affected the way he expresses himself through bloodthirsty violence and screaming, but he does have an ambition to learn and play the guitar, already being a singer himself. it is a creative outlet for him to release all that pent up energy when he lay dormant, and is allowed the freedom to live a life he wants alongside the one person who values and loves him for who he is

in conclusion... they are both crazy, and stick likes that about monkey

[causalityparadoxes]

thinking about Eldritch Goddess TARDIS...

(She has travelled longer and further than any of her sisters. Sutekh travelled with her for barely a fraction of that time. She is eons old and will persist even after the timeless child finally dies. Yet, she is not held by the same constraints of linearity that Timelords or Osirans are. If she will then she has. Because she is always. She will and is and thus has see more than any other being in the universe or beyond. She has stared into infinity for infinity and will stare and is staring for all time. She cannot evolve into godhood because she has always been what she is: A Titan. A horror. An infinitly vast and eternal creature beyond even her own kind's comprehension. A God)

[glitteringdepths]

had some brainworms about transfem furina.... can anyone hear me.

i feel like this would have really interesting implications in her story, much as she loves acting, but struggles with it due to the 500 years she spent being forced to act, would being a woman be the same for her? she doesn't know where the act ends and where her actual identity begins. is she a woman because she wants to be, or just because she had to be one. even if she enjoys it more than the alternative, does she actually enjoy it? or is it just because she was one for so long that she enjoys it?

i can imagine that focalors likely didnt care much about her identity/presentation as archons have been shown to be able to change their forms at will basically, but furina is the human counterpart of focalors. she doesn't have that ability to change herself just like that. i imagine gender identity would be much more important to a human, especially one that must keep up an act at all times, than a god, and thus something that would affect her. something she would think about. a lot.

maybe post-prophecy, she would experiment. figure out if femininity is in fact something she wants. maybe she would try to go back to being "cis" and then realize it wasn't right for her. and i imagine that she would flourish more being able to properly express her femininity rather than doing it just because it was apart of the role.

[eddiegettingshot]

sorry i just like. it's so insane to me to make wholesale claims of immorality and bigotry about a completely atomized and diverse community of people based on the one shared interest that suggests nothing about and has no bearing on anyone's identity or social position or opinions. like when you go on my blog you should not be putting "buddie shipper" above "brown lesbian" in terms of importance and you certainly shouldn't be approaching me like the first matters more than the second because that is a wholly abnormal way to act. it's just fucking weird. i would never do that to anyone. i am not responsible for the people outside of my circle just because we share an interest but i am responsible for being vocal about the (real) issues i do see in the spaces i enjoy. that's what i'd expect of anyone else too. so i hope that the people getting self-righteous are turning inward with the same exact energy! (i haven't seen it but there's still time)!

[cloudkemi]

Just saw Tubbos reaction to the recreation base and like. Oh man. He's so nice but the way he looks off to the side multiple sides is so telling.

Bad is completely blinded by what he remembers and loved the team and commodore that was built in Purgatory. Recreating the base as it was the highlight of the teamwork and family they created. He downplays the actual horrors of Purgatory which im sure is due to his own twisted morals and coping.

Tubbo sees the base and he's hesitant to say anything at all. Not jumping to call him a freak or jumping to praise him, just processing that this isn't some fudged up joke. And then he says its nice.

Tubbo's realistic about purgatory but he still loved the family and trust that happened during it. He might even miss the constant interactions and closeness. But he knows it was a terrible event and the murder part of it can't be ignored.

[aziraphales-lawyer]

Literally no other way I could describe it right now.

[arsenicflame]

the thing is, right, if izzy WAS evil i would still absolutely love him. hes a fictional character, i don't care about his morals if hes compelling.

but the frustrating thing is that hes not evil, hes not even the antagonist anymore by a long stretch, hes arguably more liked by the crew than ed at the moment, but people still insist that we are reading the text of the show wrong and its going to completely 180 and turn him into a cartoon villain when there is absolutely no sign of that in the show, from the cast and crew, anything!!!

its so ridiculously annoying that i feel i have to defend my stance on a character because some people are so determined to cast him into the roll of a villain he is not, and think that we are the wrong ones for simply reading what the show is putting out

[swiftfootedachilles]

hey bb where are u i miss u

have i been gone?? does it feel like ive been gone?

fr im so busy with life stuff that i barely have time to fill my queue at night before passing out at 930pm. i feel bad bc i JUST asked people to send me asks and i havent had time to answer them 😩😩😩😩 why do i always do this

[telesodalite]

With Krok now on my mind, it's reminded me of like, the whole deal of him coping with the loss of his squad by believing they'd just become separated? Because that bit is such a fascinating aspect of his character to me.

It's vague in a way that doesn't totally confirm whether he truly 100% deluded himself, or if he just kept telling himself that to try and distract from the truth and memories he didn't want to face.

(Which, for some reason this pisses Misfire off? Which implies something really interesting there about Misfire and his own coping mechanisms and issues that we don't get much of a peer into unfortunately.)

Anyway, I spent way too long thinking about it when I was reading through the comics. And it's like, did studying battles and strategy play a part in this delusion/lie?

Like, you're a being that lives for millions of years, in the middle of a war spanning those millions of years. So, at some point, surely those battles are going to start to blur together. So you've got that, and then you go and face a frankly horrifically traumatic fight that quite literally rips the people you cared about most, and felt responsible for, apart.

Presumably, Decepticons aren't the greatest at handling shell shock and other such side effects of war. So they just take this freshly traumatized mess of a dude, take him off the front lines and plant him on a warworld to aid the fight from a more comfortable distance.

With all this, the mind is bound to be fickle when faced with such sudden loss and change. But Krok obviously did his job there, or at least he was very knowledgeable on history and tactics beforehand.

Either way, he studied battle after battle, went through records of fight after fight, planned for what's next and reconsidered what had already happened. Hundreds of wins and losses.

So did it get jumbled there? In having a head full of battles, did some of them blur and mix with the one that took everything away from him? In trying to solve the failures of past battles, did he try and find where a victory could've been had against the wreckers that day? Did he find a solution that would've had his squad still whole and alive?

From there, did it slip into delusion, or a desperate lie to keep himself going?

I feel like his "mental health matters" moment was an interesting insight into it and possibly the average soldier's rough outlook on trauma. But it was still very surface level I think, but I guess going too deep into the why's and how's wouldn't have been important until maybe the Scavenger centric comics that uh, never happened :/

[pbpsbff]

crazy how “genocide is bad” is a controversial take to some ppl these days

[amethyst-halo]

i need to write happier things w lil brozone i feel like i have to make up for this