#idk if I’ve posted these here already
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Omg OC moodboards
#Neo ocs#Neo moodboards#idk if I’ve posted these here already#oc: raylakos solstice#oc: onyx Scaldun#oc: Nicole Blaira#oc: Megan glover#oc: lathor blaise#oc: lux Therae#in order
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y’all we r not beating exorsexism and misogyny by calling every transmasc that pisses u off a ‘theyfab.’ Idc if they are annoying or have dumbass opinions, literally using someone’s agab as an insult is wrong and treating transmascs as annoying little afabs is deeply misogynistic and transphobic. What happened to just calling people fucking idiots
#trans ppl sound off in the replies I want to hear ur opinions on this respectfully bc like idk it makes me feel crazy#it just makes me rlly deeply uncomfortable to see ppl who generally have fine takes do this shit like cmon y’all we can be better#all saying it tells me is that ur just treating all the transmascs u DO like as exceptions to the rule#idc if ur arguing w the most annoying deeply stupid transmasc in the world it’s not their identity that makes them annoying or stupid lol#using someone’s agab derogatorily is so fucking stupid it’s ltrlly just one step away from calling them pussy boys or annoying women idfk#.txt#what’s crazy is the most egregious example I saw was some1 literally complaining about exorsexism. by blaming it on afabs. then posting lik#‘when theyfabs walk in the room’ to some ‘eeew it stinks in here’ audio on TikTok. saying they had stinky pussies. they were literally afab#hello??? the internalized misogyny is fucking CRAZYYYYY literally yall just regurgitate shit I’ve already heard from cishet men but act lik#it’s ok cause it’s directed at ‘theyfabs’ instead of women. Ok
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sam winchester / “black hair” - alex g
#i’ve never posted an amv before but. here we go <3#someone else might’ve already done this song idk#alex g#sam winchester#spn amv#my amv#my edit#spn edit#spnamv#spnedit#supernatural#spn#anyway making this edit made me want to kill dean with hammers#i just made this because i’m rewatching s4 and i cant cope with it. which is why this is 90% s4 scenes#UGHHHHH tumblr fucked up the audio
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"I was laughing but at the same time I really wanted to give El a hug, I felt so bad for her"
Edelgard: Thank you for your concern but I am quite alright now.
Um, what's going on with this?
Byleth: Hey, I'm not complaining. Ever since we got together my squat game has been insane. My ass has never looked so good.
#fe3h#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#edelgard von hresvelg#byleth eisner#edeleth#byleth x edelgard#edelgard#sterge.pptx#another one from reddit#i love drawin goofy shit#speaking directly to the camera like she's on the office#feel like i'm forgetting something here. hmm. worried about it.#it's not edelgard's hair slash crown. that's MIA on purpose.#[stares at my text post from january 23rd] i already broke my promise to myself by drawing edelgard's crown again yesterday#i did not elect to do it again today. we are serving Emperor Casual#oh well.#byleth needs to learn to stop wearing heels#idk how people with a large height difference do it#i’ve been informed that f!byleth is in fact closer to 5’4 or 5’5#i don’t know how i got it in my head that she’s 5’7#but i’ve decided i don’t care anyway. we’re going by Rule of Funny
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before it felt like a sin, ch. 3
ch.1, ch.2
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 2300
summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.
And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.
She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.
a/n: this is how I wish the duel could have gone in the game...😇🙏
I also want to reiterate that this fic is REALLY CANON DIVERGENT!!!!! I will NOT be following the game’s plot at all really with this (it really starts to diverge around chapter 6/7 maybe I don’t remember), and I don’t see Eloise as the game’s MC either.
Eloise was being woken up altogether too soon for her tastes. Something soft was hit her face, and she sat up groggily, pushing it away. She blinked as she looked around, not recognizing her surroundings. It was disorienting not knowing where she was, although, as she rubbed her eyes, it was slowly starting to come back to her…Something happened yesterday, she thought. I…
“Come on, sleepyhead!” exclaimed Imelda, throwing more clothes on top of Eloise. “The house elves left these last night at the foot of your bed while we were sleeping. If you don’t hurry up, there won’t be any more food left for breakfast. And, you know that the first day of classes is the most important…”
As she continued rambling on, Eloise got up and started putting on her school robes. A dark grey tartan skirt with dark green and silver stripes, a cream button-up with puffy sleeves that she tucked into the skirt, a black ribbon to tie around her neck, and her Slytherin robes on top. She didn’t know how to feel about the day that was ahead of her; she felt a strange mixture of elation and apprehension.
“…you’re taking too long. I’ll wait for you in the common room,” Imelda concluded, giving Eloise one last look before striding out of their dormitory. All of the other girls had already gotten ready and left for the morning, which wasn’t really a surprise to Eloise. As soon as her head hit the pillow the second time, she had fallen into a deep sleep and hadn’t heard the bustle of the girls preparing themselves for the day.
She finished lacing up her boots, and after one last glance in the mirror to make sure nothing was out of place, headed out to find Imelda.
When Eloise walked into the atrium, she was struck by how different it felt in the morning. It was truly as beautiful now as it had been eerily peaceful the night before. Once again, light piano music playing in the background - Eloise smiled to herself, recognizing the Gymnopédies by Satie. Her piano lessons had been the only bearable classes at the muggle school, and she had excelled at the instrument, often practicing during her free time.
The piano music blended in with the murmurs of students standing or sitting in small groups around various tables filled with breakfast foods and scrolls of parchment. The greens and blues coming through the windows felt refreshing, and the whole room was glimmering under the reflections of the water playing across various surfaces. She could see plants swaying under the water, with schools of fish weaving between them. It felt…magical.
Eloise’s eyes were drawn to Ominis and she started walking to him, standing by the same window where they had been sitting earlier. Instead of being in shadow, however, he was now illuminated by the rays of sun shining through the water. He was smirking to himself as he listened to the two first-years next to him. As she got closer to them, Eloise heard them speculating about the possibility that they would get to see a mermaid.
“Oh! I think I just saw one!” one shouted at his friend, pointing out the window. “Oh, wait…it was just algae.”
Eloise walked up to Ominis, smiling despite herself.
“Is this your idea of a good time?” she asked him, while he was simultaneously asking her how she had slept. They both paused as soon as they heard the other start talking, and then both started speaking at the same time after an awkward pause.
“Oh…I’m sorry. I…I slept well,” Eloise said, blushing. “And you?”
“As well as I ever do,” he replied. She noticed that the dark circles under his eyes were still very prominent, although they didn’t look eerie in the morning light. He indicated the first-years with a jerk of his head, changing the topic. “I doubt mermaids find us that interesting. I rather think they purposefully avoid our common room so as to not be treated like creatures in an aquarium.”
Eloise laughed at that and tilted her head playfully. “And just where did those two even get the idea that they might see a mermaid?”
“That, my dear, is a mystery. I surely have never seen one before,” Ominis said, standing up straight and taking his wand out. “I have been hearing a lot of chatter about you this morning, you know. It seems like reality has been mixed with fantasy in the tales of your journey here, and nobody knows the full truth.”
“Except for you,” Eloise pointed out, stepping into place next to him as they walked through the common room. She spotted Imelda, supervising some students playing chess and instructing them on the moves they should be doing. Imelda looked up and saw Eloise, and interrupted her own advice mid sentence.
“Eloise!!” Imelda bellowed as she practically ran across the room. Was this girl ever not purposeful in everything she did? The students around them looked up from what they were doing to watch her, and maybe get the chance to hear a first-hand account of what actually happened to Eloise. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were attacked by a dragon last night?”
“Oh, er…” Eloise couldn’t figure out how to respond to the other girl. Imelda didn’t seem worried or scared about what Eloise had gone through the previous day; rather, she seemed indignant that she hadn’t been told about the attack. Beside them, Ominis was laughing.
“It must have been terribly exciting,” Imelda went on, ignoring any response Eloise may have started giving. “A real dragon and all. I wish I was with you guys, I’ve actually prepared for what I would do in that very situation. I would definitely have diverted its attention away from you on my broomstick, and actually the best strategy would have been to…”
“I doubt you really would have been able to do anything,” Eloise interrupted. “It was terribly frightening, but at the same time the whole thing was over so quickly that I haven’t had time to process it yet.”
“Well, you can tell me about it on the way to breakfast. Maybe once you learn how to ride a broom, we can practice what to do together. You have first-hand experience, after all!” Imelda looped her arm through Eloise’s. She shot a look to Ominis. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m taking her now. We have a long day ahead of us, lots to do you know. The usual. Anyway, Sebastian’s coming over so it’s not like I’m leaving you completely alone.”
Before Eloise could even react, she was being marched up the spiral staircase that led out of the Slytherin common room and they were off to breakfast.
“Duelists, take your mark,” Professor Hecat said to the two students standing on top of the platform in the middle of the room. The duelists in question looked at each other warily, steadying their wands. Eloise was exhilarated. This was the type of class she had been daydreaming about while she sat wasting her time embroidering landscapes.
Professor Hecat hadn’t wasted any time putting the students to work. Although at first, many of them had scoffed at the thought of Leviosa being a useful spell in combat, Eloise listened attentively and focused on the correct wand movements. Maybe it didn’t actually matter, but she was determined to make sure that nobody would think that she didn’t deserve to be there. She had a lot of catching up to do, but between the books Professor Fig had given her and the knowledge she retained from reading from her family’s library as a child, she already knew a lot. She was quite pleased when the feather levitated as soon as she said the incantation, as there were other students who struggled to get theirs to even twitch in an upward direction.
Now, Eloise gripped her wand tightly in her hand, shifting a bit as she stared Sebastian in the eyes. He had said that she would get ‘a proper Hogwarts welcome’ and she was looking forward to it.
If the rumors she had heard before class were true, Sebastian was the best duelist in their year, and quite possibly at Hogwarts. Although she felt a little apprehensive at the thought of facing him, she hoped that he wouldn’t hold back on her just because she was new. Even if she had fought the guardians yesterday in Gringotts, she wanted to prove to herself that she could keep her wits about her in the heat of battle.
Maybe her stance was a little too stiff, her movements too by the book. But that could only be changed with experience.
Sebastian smirked slightly to himself, no doubt thinking that this would be an easy victory. In the background, Eloise heard Professor Hecat say they could begin, but she was more focused on her opponent’s face. As soon as she saw him raise his wand and begin to open his mouth, she shouted “Protego!” and the shield blocked the spell he attempted to send shooting her way. His eyebrows raised in surprise - apparently he hadn’t been expecting her fast reflexes.
Quick as a whip, she shouted out “Levioso” and Sebastian was in the air. She hit him with a few more curses before he fell to the ground, breathing heavily. He pushed himself up quickly and went back into position. Wand out, now more wary of her capabilities. He blocked her next attack and went in for one of his own, which hit her shoulder. Eloise hissed in pain and immediately shot out a volley of quick jabs in his direction, a few hitting their mark before he put up a shield.
Sebastian was grinning as they circled each other, looking for an opening. The rest of the class surrounded the platform they were on, cheering them on. Both continued to attack and put up shields, without any clear winner in sight. It was obvious that they were very evenly matched.
“I’m pleasantly surprised,” he said as they were catching their breath between attacks. “I haven’t had a fight this good in a long time.”
Eloise just grinned in response, before shooting off another spell in his direction. It was expertly blocked with a flick of Sebastian’s wrist; in response he volleyed off a jinx towards her.
Eloise crumpled to the ground, yelping as she grabbed her ankle. Sebastian was immediately at her side, crouching down and looking at her with concern.
“Eloise? Are you okay?” He looked down at her ankle and then abruptly looked up and back at her face, a faint pink redness dusting his cheeks. He may have been dueling her, but it was distinctly different to be so close to her like this.
In response, Eloise grinned mischievously and quickly levitated him off the ground, getting to her feet at the same time. With a few quick curses sent his way, soon Sebastian was lying sprawled on the ground outside of the little arena Professor Hecat had erected.
“Not fair,” Sebastian exclaimed, rushing to his feet. He looked at Professor Hecat, who was looking between the two with a pleased smile.
Eloise smirked at him, only responding with, “Slytherin.”
Sebastian laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, making his brown curls even unrulier than they had become in their duel. He held his hand out to her and she shook it formally. “Good duel. You can definitely hold your own and I won’t underestimate you again.”
Professor Hecat clapped her hands together to get the attention of the class. “I hope you all paid attention to these two. Ten points to Slytherin for an excellent demonstration of what we learned today. On Wednesday, we will continue with practical application of the techniques learned during this class. I expect to see flawless wand work and concentration. I demand excellence from my students as I know you are all capable of achieving it. Class dismissed.”
As Eloise was gathering up her things, Sebastian sidled up to her. “Really, that was quite impressive. You seemed stiff at first, but it would seem you have fought before. You definitely give as good as you get.”
Eloise blushed and tucked some strands of hair that had come undone behind her ear. “Well, really, I had only read about the techniques before. Haven’t really had much time to put all of that theory to use yet.” She smiled shyly ad Sebastian, who was looking at her with his jaw open. “You fight really well, too. I had to use all of my focus. It’s kind of exhausting, actually.”
“But exhilarating, right?” Sebastian asked eagerly. The two of them started to head out of the classroom together, dwindling behind the rest of the students. Entirely absorbed by their conversation. “Everything else goes out of focus and the only thing in the world is you and your opponent.”
“Yes! Exactly that,” exclaimed Eloise. “I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
“Well,” Sebastian said slowly, dragging the word out as he thought. “You know, there might be a way. To continue. I normally would never do this, but…you know…”
“Know what?” Eloise prompted as Sebastian trailed off.
“You’re a really good duelist. Intuitive. There’s a certain exclusive club of sorts, one that may or may not be unsanctioned, where you can continue to hone your dueling abilities.”
“Exclusive and unsanctioned?” Eloise asked with a smirk. “You can count me in.”
“Excellent,” Sebastian replied, smiling broadly. “Sometimes, to make the most out of your experience at Hogwarts, you need to bend certain rules. They’re more like guidelines, anyway.”
“Merlin, Sebastian,” said Imelda, walking up to them and crossing her arms. “Don’t let yourself fall into any of his schemes. That boy is in detention practically every other day.”
“Or maybe,” Eloise said, “he’s just not good enough at avoiding getting caught. I, on the other hand… Come on, Imelda. Let’s go to lunch.”
She laughed as they walked away, leaving behind a dumbstruck Sebastian. He shook his head in disbelief and headed off to his next class.
next chapter
#only 2 more chapters and then the story gets very canon divergent🙏🙏#I was simultaneously so happy to not have to watch YouTube videos of these scenes to see the dialogue#and sad bc now I 100% rely on my imagination😭😆#I was actually rereading it starting from chapter 17 (I just randomly choose chapters sometimes) and I was like 😳😳 omg what comes next…#(the benefits of having an awful memory & writinf something for myself😆)#I’ve really been enjoying these illustrations and posting here thouch🥹🥹🥹 I hope you guys like these chapters/updates I post !!!!!!!#updated here as soon as I have my next illustrations…but that is an inconsistent thing bahahahahahahahahha#(sorry)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow fanart#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy fic#omg ALSO IM SORRY FOR DOING TWO POSTS SO CLOSE TOGETHER…idk I don’t want to be annoying#but I just want to post this and move on to the NEXT illustration bahahahahahaahhahaha I have 22 chapters already posted#& I’m almost done with the next one…
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i hope you all know to use the block button liberally. especially anti whatever ship/character cause its better to just not engage with the people who hate michaela or hate the now gay characters (or even just hate any character) cause ‘it doesn’t fit the books’, when this is the netflix interpretation series.
like don’t get ur panties in a twist about people who are here to be negative about something that’s fun. block block block.
#idk just fyi psa#bridgerton#francesca bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#francesca x michaela#b post#i’ve already blocked several people when i go into the franchaela tag cause im not here for all that drivel#or the francesca x michaela tag more cause i haven’t looked into the franchaela tag tbh
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The House That Built Me
“Figured you’d either still be at the tavern, or were already home wondering where I was.”
He smiles at you, soft, before looking away. “I was at the tavern most of the day, like I planned this morning. But… something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t really… giving it my all, and I think the patrons could tell.”
You frown. “What didn’t feel right? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Windblume. I’m just fine.”
You aren’t convinced. “Then, uh… do you feel like sharing what isn’t fine?”
His gaze drops to the dark sea below. “I think you know what it is, actually.”
Cryptic as ever, you take a moment to ponder what he might mean. He takes the silence as an opportunity to elaborate. “I never really wonder where you are, you know?"
~~~~~~~
Inazuma, all raging storms and war-torn, is calling your name. Shamefully, you find yourself running north instead, searching for something, anything to fill this home-shaped void in your heart.
Maybe, just maybe, you’ll come to find that home is a person, more than a place.
Pairing: Venti x Reader - Established Relationship, GN!Reader
Word Count: 11,033
Contains: [angst (with a happy ending)] [crying] [cuddling] [emotional hurt/comfort] [lack of communication] [loneliness] [memories] [not canon compliant] [pet death] [Reader & Venti are both adults] [Reader is not Traveler but they essentially take their place in the game's plot] [self-deprecating reader] [separation anxiety] [set prior to Version 2.0] [songfic]
A/Ns: This is a songfic! Title and verses written throughout the fic are from the song- "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert.
Lastly, some context- Reader is a Riftwolf-Human hybrid, can manipulate all seven elements but has an affinity for Geo.
I know they say you can't go home again.
Sand, warmed by the afternoon sun, swells between your spread fingers as you press your hands down into the ground at your sides. Summoning a modicum of Geo elemental energy, your hands meet no resistance as they sink into the compacted grains like a hot knife through butter. You drop your raised shoulders and let your hands bury several inches into the beach until the sand surrounding them is cool, untouched by the heat of the day.
Dismissing the energy you’d been using to repel it, you allow the ground to resist you again. You note the weight of the sand as it presses down on the backs of your hands, and the firm bed of grains packed beneath your palms. You shut your eyes and flex your fingers slightly, focusing on the soft grit of Falcon Coast as it surrounds your hands in its weighted embrace.
Breathing a heavy sigh, you reopen your eyes, dropping your head and cursing the earth beneath you. This attempt at grounding yourself is doing little to ease the knot in your stomach, nor the tightness in your chest. Looking up and out across the expanse of ocean before you, the sight of Musk Reef looming in the distance doesn’t help either. You refuse to allow your gaze to drift any further south.
You begin to ask yourself what you’re even doing here, and why you thought this was a good idea. You’re no stranger to fleeing to Mondstadt whenever the world overwhelms you, but this specific beach perhaps wasn’t the wisest choice. Certainly not when the very thing you’re running from is the sea.
You hadn’t put much thought into where to go, you just knew you wanted to go home. Materializing at the waypoint east of Windrise was simply instinctual. Though, when you arrived, you didn’t turn and head north like you had so many times before. No, you took a running jump off the cliff below, gliding south and landing on the coast.
Sitting here now though, hands buried in the same sand you first washed up on after clawing your way out of the abyss… it’s not as comforting of a spot as you thought it might be. You don’t feel grounded at all, caught up between memories of the past and fears of the future.
Tugging your hands out of the sand with a frustrated huff, you turn your head to glance behind you at the cliff to the north.
…Maybe you should’ve gone that way instead. Maybe you should go home.
I just had to come back one last time.
Materializing at the earlier waypoint once again, you pause to collect yourself for a moment. Making frequent use of the waypoints, especially in your current state, isn’t very wise. Then again, you aren’t in a very wise state. Taking a deep breath to dispel the dizziness, you let the warm breeze caress your cheeks. Looking around from your current vantage point, you find yourself grateful for the lack of people in the area. Even Chloris is currently nowhere to be found.
Well, at least you can think in peace. Jumping down from the crumbling ruin, you steady yourself against an archway, narrowly avoiding crushing a small patch of lamp grass. …Perhaps you should’ve taken another moment to collect yourself. Perhaps you shouldn’t be wandering through the wilds all on your own, in such a state.
You scoff at the latter thought. This is Mondstadt, and you’re… you. What’s the worst that could happen?
Pushing aside the thought that more alone time may not be what you need right now, you think yourself through your predicament once again as you set off on a walk.
-
You’d been reluctant to leave Mondstadt and set out for Liyue, despite knowing that you’d get no further answers to your myriad of questions here. Not to mention the nagging, relentless tug of fate, pulling you away from the nation you’d come to call home. You knew full and well that you’d have to leave. You’d find no peace in an attempt to ignore the call, and settle here indefinitely.
Still, that didn’t stop you from milking your time here as much as possible. You’d gotten to a first name basis with nearly every soul in the city by the time you ran out of tasks to busy yourself with. Gained quite the notable reputation for yourself in the process too, although that hadn’t been your goal. You truly just didn’t want to leave.
You’d trekked over every hill, passed through every valley, climbed to every peak and turned over every stone and leaf along your way. You explored the nation’s ruins, deciphered inscriptions half faded into their stone, and felled every field till- …ruin guard that stood in your way. You’d braved the frozen peaks of Dragonspine, and gained a newfound appreciation for the Pyro element in the process.
You stood atop the celestial nail, looking out through the blizzard and over the expanse of land to the southwest.
The vast, foreign land that laid before you scared you more than the journey to the top of the nail had.
After all, you didn’t fear falling. The wind at your back would surely catch you, you had no doubt.
Flecks of Cryo stung, colliding with the flushed, exposed skin of your face. You closed your eyes, balance wavering slightly as a result. A small arm was quick to wrap itself around your waist.
No, you didn’t fear falling. You feared leaving.
You leaned into the safety of your Archon’s hold, their concerned voice perfectly audible in spite of the blizzard winds surrounding you. “Are you alright? Do you need to get down?”
You feared leaving him.
-
Leaves from the end of a tree branch brush against your perked ears, pulling you back into the present. Shaking your head and drawing your ears down on instinct, you look around and realize your muscle memory has carried you the rest of the way home. Tucked away against a small cliff south of the Thousand Winds Temple, stands an even smaller cottage, forgotten to time. An Anemo Samachurl paces in circles in the yard, and its Geo counterpart sits on the old stone stairs leading into the home.
Ma'am, I know you don't know me from Adam.
The Geo Samachurl turns to look at you, and you give it a small wave in acknowledgement. Its attention lingers on you for only a moment longer, before turning back to continue watching its Anemo companion instead. A smile plays on your lips, tight and bittersweet.
You make no move to continue approaching, instead opting to back up a few paces and lean against a nearby tree, observing.
They can sense enough of your shared origins, or- maybe it’s the lingering abyssal energy on you… regardless, they can sense something on you that they recognize. Nothing specific, but something familiar enough that they feel no need to take up arms upon the mere sight of you. In all honesty, you feel the same. Their presence here doesn’t pose any genuine threat, so you’re content to leave them be.
In the many months that have passed since Venti and you moved out of this place, it’s become a haven for others. Whether it be traveling adventurers seeking shelter for a night, wildlife seeking refuge from a passing storm beneath the awning, or even your old Khaenri’ahn kin seeking a place to camp, the cottage has served many.
The both of you have kept a distant eye on the place since your departure. Though, Venti has found himself remaining more distant than you since these Samachurls have set up camp. While your presence doesn’t ring any alarm bells for them, the same cannot be said for Venti. While he holds no ill intent toward them either, something about the aura he emits sets them instinctively on edge.
You can hardly blame them. You’d raised your hackles and bared your teeth at the bard, defensive upon your first encounter as well. Looking back, he was hardly posing any threat then either, but at the time, you viewed everyone and everything as a potential enemy. After all, you’d just escaped the abyss and been tossed to the shore of Falcon Coast by the waves, your weaker control over Cryo failing you halfway across your attempt at an ice bridge. Waking up on hot sand to find a humanoid being with an unsettling gaze emanating a suspiciously divine aura above you was more than enough to kick your fight or flight into gear.
You attempted both, in that order. You immediately dug your hands into the sand and threw fistfuls of it at the stranger, successfully disorienting them and giving you an opening to flee. With nothing but ocean to the east, you bolted west, and then north, headed for higher ground intent on gaining an advantage.
Looking back now, you know nothing could’ve stopped Venti if he’d truly wanted to catch you. At the time, though, you felt pretty confident in having outrun him. By the time you felt like you’d lost him, you found yourself also lost amidst trees, the uneven terrain obscuring your sense of direction. So- tired, thirsty, hungry, scared, and confused- you dropped from a run to a walk. Pressing forward in the direction you’d run in, you kept your ears at attention to catch any threat before it could catch you.
-
The Anemo Samachurl breaks from its quiet chanting and pacing, its sudden cry pulling your focus from the past. From the way it points and takes off in a run, and the way its Geo counterpart rises to follow behind, you assume it must have seen something in the woods that caught its attention. You see nor sense nothing of note, and dismiss the likely false alarm. Probably just wildlife, or perhaps a Dendro slime looking to play. As the two little shamans run off into the trees, you take advantage of the vacancy they leave behind.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
You figure you’ve got enough time for a quick visit before they return. Besides, the worst that’ll happen if they do catch you in their “camp” will be a few disgruntled spells cast toward you as you hightail it out of there. It’ll be fine.
Approaching the trio of old stone steps that lead to the front door, your gaze catches on two handprints engraved into the highest stair. Memories begin to surface.
-
Sitting on the stairs with your back pressed to the door, you found yourself growing frustrated with the green-clad individual in your yard. Well, perched in one of the trees in your yard, to be precise.
You’d taken up residence in this old run-down cottage once it seemed that no one else had been occupying it. The first few days had been blessedly peaceful, it seemed the area was rather devoid of other life. Well, threatening life, at least. There were plenty of plants and animals, plus a little pond close by, providing far more sustenance than you’d grown used to surviving on. You figured it was as good of a place as any to try and sort out your next move. You hadn’t put much thought into what you’d do once you escaped, after all. You found yourself feeling… lost. After charging ahead with your focus locked on a single goal for so damn long… you didn’t know what to do with yourself now that you’d achieved it.
You weren’t lost for long though. The nosy stranger that found you on the beach proved to be the next target of your focus. Your peaceful existence in this cottage overlooking the sea didn’t last long before you found yourself in their unwanted company once again. They might’ve thought they were subtle, hiding amongst the treetops and watching you quietly.
They weren't. You could sense them. Hell, even if it weren’t for the strange aura they emanated, you could smell them. They carried a strong scent of fermentation with them, and you could easily pick up on the pungent smell in the wind.
On the third day of your silent standoff, you grew fed up with this stranger’s odd behavior. You only knew one way of settling things, and that was face-to-face, not through some weird game of observation. You cleared your throat, preparing your underused voice and searching for your words. Tilting your head back to look at the trespasser, you snarl at their relaxed stance, laid back across a branch like they’re asleep.
“Come down.” You bark the command up into the trees.
The stranger doesn’t comply, but they do acknowledge you, opening their eyes and turning their head to look down at you. “So you can speak!”
You’re in no mood to entertain their conversation, certainly not before making sense of their intentions. “Come. Down.” You repeat, voice flat and serious.
“Are you gonna throw sand in my eyes again?” Light and playful, they question you.
You huff. “No.” Not without good reason, at least, you think to yourself but fail to vocalize.
They hum in thought for a moment before going quiet again. You let the seconds pass, growing more irritable with each one. Just as you’re about to call them down once again, they roll to the side, willingly falling from the branch they’d been laying on. Your muscles twitch and lock for a moment as you stop yourself from… from… from what? What were you going to do, run and try to catch them? Why would you do that? They’ve done nothing for you.
Your lack of action proves itself inconsequential as the stranger falls at a remarkably slow speed. It’s less of a fall and more of a… decent, you suppose, seeming to effortlessly defy gravity. Righting themself midair to land on their feet, they pull their cape forward on their shoulders, beginning to approach you.
You plant your hands firmly on the stone at your sides, readying yourself for anything.
“While that wasn’t the most convincing answer, I suppose I can extend a bit of trust to you. I sure hope you don’t make me regret it though!” They come far closer to you than anyone with a sense of self-preservation ought to. They hold a hand out between you, and you stare at it, waiting for something to happen. “I’m Venti, a bard from the city.”
Finally getting your first proper look at them up close, you’re struck with the strangest sense of recognition. You couldn’t pinpoint it to save your life, but… something about this person feels… familiar. Distant, hazy, and inexplicable, but it’s there nonetheless.
You don’t like it.
When you make no move to do… whatever they seem to want you to do with their hand, they drop it, and you flinch at the sudden motion. Frowning, they question you. “Might I ask for your name in exchange, my dear trespasser? We can hardly get to know one another without exchanging some basic information.”
Your brows pinch in frustration at the stranger's many words. They say a lot, and they say it fast. It’s been… you can’t recall how long it’s been since you last held such conversation. One word stands out to you, though. “Trespasser? Me?”
He nods. “Well, technically, yes! I don’t know much about you yet but I do know that this isn’t your house.”
“How?” You question, eyes narrowing, watching as they stupidly step even closer.
“How do I know that this isn’t yours?” They question you in return.
You nod, claws sharpening, palms itching with pent-up Geo energy crackling beneath your skin.
“Because it’s mine, silly!” They laugh, reaching out toward you.
Your instincts take over as the stranger moves to grab you, and you force your hands into the stone beneath you. Releasing the Geo energy you’d been holding onto, you use the repelling force to launch yourself up off the stairs and at the fool standing before you.
You don’t make contact with them though, stumbling forward into what suddenly becomes thin air and tripping over nothing, sending yourself straight to the ground. Righting yourself before you can even register the impact, your claws tear through the dirt and grass as you turn back to face your opponent on all fours.
You freeze at the sight of them, casually propped against the railing of the stairs, clearly not poised to fight. With no weapon in their hands, and refusing to take on any sort of combative stance, you find yourself locked in a one-sided stand-off.
Not taking their eyes off you, the stranger pats the banister they’re leaning against. “I wasn’t reaching out for you, friend.” As you process their words and the seconds turn into a minute, they make no move to attack you, so you slowly let your guard down. Just slightly. Bending at the knees, you settle in a deep squat on the ground.
When the stranger seems confident enough that you aren’t about to throw yourself at them again, they allow their attention to leave you and fall to the step where you’d just sat. Following their gaze, you notice two handprints now carved into the stone, the very edge of the stair chipped away in places where your claws had caught on it.
You ready yourself for an attack, as this stranger surely won’t take kindly to destruction of, apparently, their property. But they make no move to do any such thing. They simply look back up at you with a knowing smile.
“You take after Morax, I see.”
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom, is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
Smiling and shaking your head at the memory, you make your way into the small home. It’s rather bare, even more so than it had been when you first found the place. The two of you had taken all of your personal possessions with you into the teapot, leaving nothing but the basic furniture behind. After all, you had far better options awaiting you through Tubby’s sub-space creation.
Seeing the cottage in its original state, it once again becomes clear to you just how little Venti had customized the place prior to you moving in. He didn’t, and still doesn’t have much to his name, truly living the life of the wandering bard he identifies as. Most of what he does have he keeps on his person, whether that be in the physical sense, or dematerialized and stored away.
The cottage turned into a bit less of a shelter and more of a home over the many months you spent there with him. You stocked the little kitchen with far more than just his assortment of fruits, and an array of objects you collected from your outings lined the shelves. Looking back now, with a bit more insight on your own mental and emotional states, you venture a guess as to your behavior. You were likely hoarding whatever you found as a means of making up for how long you spent having nothing.
Venti never shamed you for it, even though he likely understood the behavior from the beginning. He was incredibly empathetic, and kinder than you felt you deserved, even once parts of your past became known to him. It took some time, given your struggle to keep up with his words, and the bigger struggle of finding your own. You managed to get it across to him eventually though, and he’d been benevolent enough to take you in.
-
You come to a stop in the bedroom doorway, surveying the place through the lens of the past.
You remember countless hours spent at the small desk in the corner, hunched over paper with text on it that you couldn’t decipher. Venti stood beside you, one hand on your shoulder, patiently teaching you how to make sense of the symbols you saw.
You remember less stressful hours spent sitting on the floor, curiously plucking at the strings of the bard’s various instruments with your claws. He’d sit on the bed watching you, naming the notes and teaching you how to turn your discordant noise into beautiful music. You were never as good as he was though, and you really didn’t mind. You preferred to listen to him playing, anyway. The bard possessed a beautiful voice, and the soft songs he’d sing to you in the dark of night never failed to put your tormented mind at ease.
Staring at your designated spot on the floor, you laugh at the memory of countless nights spent refusing his invitations. He’d offered his bed to you from the beginning, insisting that you deserved it more than he did. Besides, he said, he was used to sleeping in trees and fields, on barstools and street corners. He claimed he wouldn’t miss the bed at all.
You wouldn’t hear of it. Vehemently denying any offers, you stubbornly slept- atop as many blankets and pillows as you’d allow him to give you- on the floor by his bed like the dog you were. He wasn’t the only one used to sleeping in uncomfortable places, and you weren’t about to lose your edge by getting too comfortable too soon.
You think of the way you woke up this morning, wrapped in soft, warm blankets on a wide, plush mattress, face nuzzled into his neck, arms around his waist.
You’ve both come a long way.
You hear the familiar sound of distant hilichurlian chanting, and make your move to leave, bidding your old bedroom a quiet farewell once again.
Slipping out of the cottage and rounding the side of the building in a few long strides, you narrowly manage to evade their notice. Peeking around the corner, you watch them return to their prior posts. The Anemo Samachurl diligently paces between the trees, its Geo companion keeping watch from the stairs.
You smile, and turn to make your silent departure.
-
Checking in on your old home had been a successful distraction from the thoughts you’re trying to avoid, but you couldn’t linger there forever. Still, feeling unprepared to return to the teapot and try to put on a brave face for Venti, you find yourself wandering. With no particular destination in mind, you let your feet take you where they may.
You try to think of nothing at all for a while, failing over and over again as your mind searches for something to latch onto. Apparently counting your steps wasn’t entertaining enough for it.
After a while of failing to meditate on your walk, you find yourself leaving grass and stepping onto a dirt path. Looking up and around, you realize you’ve made your way to the road leading to the Thousand Winds Temple.
Turning and looking south, you can see the massive tree at Windrise, off in the distance. Far, far, beyond that, bringing your eyes to the horizon, you can see the snowy peaks of Dragonspine beyond the tall cliff of Galesong Hill. You sigh.
And I bet you didn't know, under that live oak, my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
A few months after arriving in Mondstadt and settling in with Venti, you found yourself exploring the icy riverbank that borders Dragonspine. The stubborn bard, wrapped in the thickest cloak he owned, trudged along behind you.
You’d told him he didn’t have to join you that day, but the thought of you exploring unfamiliar territory without him apparently just didn’t sit right. So, in spite of his occasional grumbles over the increasing cold, he never left your side.
The area was predictably desolate, save for a few Cryo Hilichurl archers lounging on the icy banks like they were on summer vacation. You weren’t looking for a fight that day though, just to explore, so you avoided drawing their attention given the divine company you were in.
Later on, as you were focusing hard on what Pyro energy you could summon in an attempt to melt the ice encasing a chest, you found something far more valuable. Venti saw it first, having been eyeing the surroundings while you were focused on the task at hand. Calling your name, he summoned your attention with ease.
Turning to look at him, your gaze followed his pointed finger and landed on a dog, slowly making its way toward you.
The animal was fairly large, but certainly far from threatening given the state it was in. As it drew closer, Venti lowered himself to his knees in the cold wet grass, suddenly forgoing his prior reluctance to endure the elements. You smiled. It seemed like he’d learned a thing or two from you about dealing with fearful dogs.
You followed suit, crouching down beside him and getting on the dog's level. The shivering animal hesitated, coming to a stop about fifteen feet away. Materializing some fresh meat you’d caught on the journey there, you quietly held it out toward the dog.
It sniffed the air, but refused to move.
Tearing a chunk off, you gently tossed it in the dog’s direction, and it landed a few feet in front of it. Sniffing harder, the animal carefully approached the offering, sticking its head out as far as it could to reach the food and avoid coming closer.
The two of you spent the better part of an hour luring the dog toward you, slowly but surely winning it over with continued offerings of fresh meat.
Upon closer inspection, you were honestly shocked that it was still standing. Skin stretched tight across its ribcage, hip bones two sharp peaks, spine a long mountain range down its back… the thing was clearly starving. You weren’t sure if it was the stress of a difficult life, a sign of old age, or both, but what you assumed had once been black fur was almost white from graying, particularly in its face. It trembled incessantly, and as soon as it came close enough and didn’t seem apt to bolt, Venti untied his cape and wrapped it around the dog, who shockingly didn’t fight it.
Maybe Venti had been serious when he claimed he could talk to animals.
You fed it more bites of meat as the two of you quietly discussed the best way to get it home. Blessedly, once the dog realized that neither of you held malicious intentions, it switched gears surprisingly fast. More than just tolerating your presence, the dog actually began to cling to you, frantically whining when you both stood up, fearful that you’d be leaving it behind.
Abandoning your half-melted treasure, you knew it was time to leave. You were quite a ways from home and you weren’t about to try teleporting the dog in its current state. So instead, you carefully picked her up, frowning at how little she weighed. Venti took the remaining meat and distracted the nervous dog with more offerings of food as you began your long, slow journey home.
“Don’t- don’t feed her too fast. I know she’s hungry but I don’t want to make her sick.”
Venti nodded, tearing off smaller bites. “I remember.” He cryptically confirmed.
You adjusted the dog in your hold, pulling Venti’s cape up around her neck. “…Remember what?”
He suppressed a shiver, but you still noticed. “You ate yourself sick on fruit and raw meat the first night you spent here.”
Your head turned quickly, staring down at him. “You were watching? Even then?”
He nodded, expression solemn. “I followed you home, you know? It just took a few days for you to notice that I was there.”
You walked in thoughtful silence for a while after that, wondering if your scattered senses had failed you, or if he was actually better at hiding his aura than you thought.
-
The dog lived with the both of you in your little cottage for a few good months. She gradually put on weight, and some life returned to her alongside it. She still moved slowly, though, and you feared she was in pain.
By that point, you’d befriended a timid alchemist with mint-green hair, and sought her assistance. She’d kindly offered you a medicine of her own creation, advising that the dog seemed rather old, and likely suffered from joint pain. You offered her payment in Mora, which she politely refused. You eventually got her to accept a small assortment of bones you’d gathered in exchange, correctly surmising that the offer would be too tempting for her to refuse.
Sucrose’s medicine seemed to help, because the dog moved with noticeably more ease once you began giving it to her. She was far from spry, but she seemed comfortable, so you were content. She was also content, in the precious, innocent way that only a dog can be. Just happy to be alive, happy to be fed, happy to be safe. Happy to be near someone that loves them, and happy to be near someone they love.
“Adagio.” Venti had once said, gently raking his nails through her fur on a warm, sleepy afternoon.
“What’s that?’ It was far from the first time he’d said a word you didn’t know.
“In musical terms, it means played slowly… I think it would be a nice name for her.”
You considered it for a moment, and found it rather fitting, nodding in agreement with a smile. “I like that.”
Adagio spent her days laying in the shade near the cliff’s edge, watching the waves lap at the small shore below. Looking back, you can thank her for teaching Venti that you can survive a half a day on your own. She could hardly chase you all over Mondstadt, or weave her way after Venti through the busy city streets, so when one of you needed to go out for something, the other would stay home with her. One of the two of you were always there, and she never knew the pain of being alone again.
She spent her nights curled between the two of you. She couldn’t make the jump up onto the bed, and you were still stubbornly sleeping on the floor, so Venti made the executive decision to heave the mattress onto the floor as well. As silly of a sight as it may have been to an outsider, the three of you were comfortable, curled together amidst blankets and pillows on the too-small mattress, bed frame abandoned on the other side of the room.
Nothing lasts forever though, and it seemed to you that the best of things were always the quickest to go.
As months passed, her movements went from slow to slower, and she started struggling with more things. She could no longer steady herself to make it up and down the three stairs to your home, so one of you carried her every time. She slept more and moved less, and her love of food began to wane.
This wasn’t your first experience with something like this. Though it had been an awfully long time since you lived through it last, you still knew what was coming.
That didn’t make it hurt any less, though. Not at all.
Both of you sat awake with her through the final night, keeping her comfortable and telling her how much you loved her. You’d never hoped harder that Venti’s communicative abilities held true.
You kept it together until she released her final breath, and when you knew she was gone, you allowed yourself to fall apart.
Up until then, your walls had been an impenetrable fortress. No emotion escaped unless you allowed it. Venti had never seen you cry.
So when your pain escaped you this time, falling in heavy golden tears and landing in her gray fur, he could only stare. He knew this wasn’t his moment to intrude on, so he didn’t. He didn’t rush to wrap you in an embrace, nor did he try to offer any hollow words of comfort. This was pain. This was loss. He was intimately familiar with it, and he knew it had to be felt.
There isn’t a single detail of that night that you don’t recall, and the teal tears that fell next to your golden ones are no exception.
That was the first time you saw him cry, too.
-
The evening breeze cools the hot golden tracks running down your cheeks. You watch tears fall onto the dirt path beneath you, and then you close your eyes.
-
You both sat there with what remained of her until the morning sun slipped in through the window. You were surprised when Venti broke the silence, offering to bury Adagio beneath the Windrise tree.
You spoke through a voice thick and strained from your cries. “That’s… that’s a really special place.”
He nodded. “She was a really special dog.”
You wiped the fresh tears from your eyes before they could fall, turning to face him.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” He put his hand out, laying it next to Adagio on the mattress. “Unless you’d prefer elsewhere?”
You knew what to do this time. Reaching out and laying your hand in his, you shook your head slowly. “No. I think Windrise would be perfect.”
-
Opening your eyes, you raise your head to glance once more at the massive tree across the sprawling field. Bidding Adagio another quiet goodbye, you pull in a shaky breath, and turn, heading north.
Walking in silence for a while, you try to let your emotions settle. The tears you just shed seemed to help a little, but the knot in your stomach won’t leave you.
You follow the road a little while longer, but when you find yourself nearing the temple, you take a detour and head west, off the beaten path. You aren’t keen on running into whatever random explorers might be camping there this evening. Besides, the scent of cecilias is on the breeze, and you’d rather follow that instead.
Making your way up the uneven terrain that comprises the base of Starsnatch Cliff, your mind returns to its ruminations over what brought you here today in the first place.
You leave home, you move on, and you do the best you can.
The reason for your reluctance to leave Mondstadt became abundantly clear on the day you finally set out for the neighboring nation. As you left Dawn Winery behind and crossed the border, headed for Stone Gate, it sank in quickly.
Venti wasn’t beside you.
Up until that point, he’d been the literal wind at your back every step of the way. Every commission you completed, every request you fulfilled, every inch of land you explored, he was right behind you. Or beside you, or above you, or in front of you…
Regardless, he was there. Answering your questions, telling you stories, helping you make sense of the unfamiliar. Whether it be words you couldn’t yet read, customs you didn’t yet understand, or emotions you couldn’t yet identify, he was your guide through it all. The Stormterror crisis came and went, as did the… incident with Signora, and the two of you grew ever closer as a result of it all. You could fill a book with the stories of what you two went through in the mere year you spent in this nation. But, as you sat together beneath the Windrise tree one evening discussing it all, it slowly grew clear that it was coming time to move on. As if the notion alone wasn’t stressful enough already, there seemed to be an unspoken understanding that it was a journey you must undertake alone.
So, you did. You’d packed your things, said your temporary goodbyes, and set off on your own without so much as once giving in to the urge to ask him to come along. The goodbyes were, after all, only temporary. You hoped. If you made it through whatever awaited you in Liyue alive, you always planned on returning home.
And you did. Many times.
You, scared as you’d been, made it through the lively adventure that was your initial trip to Liyue, and you’d come out much stronger for it. You found a confidence that you’d forgotten you possessed, forced to show itself once there was no travel companion for you to rely on.
Quite early in your journey, you gathered that you weren’t completely alone anyhow. Sure, in your day-to-day there was no talkative bard trailing behind you, and the nights proved themselves awfully lonely indeed. But Venti’s parting words, “may the wind protect you”, proved themselves surprisingly literal as you took note of one particular Yaksha. After a few nights at Wangshu Inn, and a few bowls of almond tofu shared in relative silence, the man had made himself into your shadow shockingly fast. He never seemed to be around when your gaze searched for him in a crowd, but was always conveniently there the moment you ran into trouble.
Still, in spite of his protection, not to mention your growing, innate connection with the God of your favored element, you longed for home. You longed for your home. You longed for your God.
I got lost in this whole world, and forgot who I am.
So, once the dust, or, well, waves had settled and Rex Lapis had been “officially” laid to rest, you found yourself headed northeast.
In spite of how proud you’d been for making it on your own, all of that crumbled the evening you first crossed back into Mondstadt. You could've used any of the waypoints you’d resonated with, could’ve gone right back home to the cliff overlooking Falcon Coast. But something about that just didn’t feel right. Not for your first return.
Walking the path back toward Dawn Winery, you tried to keep your composure. You tried to not get irrationally emotional over the familiar sight of Anemo crystalflies fluttering over the grape vines. You ignored the warmth in your chest at the sight of soft yellow candlelight illuminating the cottage windows along your path.
Your weakening grip on your emotions completely failed though when you caught sight of a small, green-clad bard, legs dangling from the edge of a rooftop, plucking at his lyre.
You burst into tears on the spot, folding in on yourself and crumpling to the dirt beneath you.
He dropped the nonchalant act instantly, dematerializing from his perch on the rooftop and reappearing beside you in a small, warm burst of Anemo energy that you didn’t see through your tears, but definitely felt. He’d questioned you frantically, worried you were hurt, not understanding what was wrong. Eventually, largely thanks to his embrace, the sobs wracking your form eased enough to assure him that you were fine.
You’d just missed him, was all.
The array of conflicting emotions that flashed in his eyes at the admission would've intrigued you, had you not been so absorbed in your own at the time.
In spite of how badly you craved his company, you’d already proved to yourself that you could travel on your own. So, you continued to. After an extended stay in Mondstadt to recover from your first eventful excursion, you began traveling between the two nations more regularly. Having resonated with most of the waypoints and Statues of the Seven in Liyue as well, it was easy to hop over for the day and still come home to Venti at night.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Such was your routine until Madam Ping had introduced you to her Teapots. Adeptal magic was quite the wonder, capable of impressive feats, and the new home offered to you was no exception. When you learned that not only could you live in it, but you could invite others in as well, you were over the moon. You were, of course, reluctant to bid a more permanent farewell to the little house overlooking the sea that you’d grown so familiar with. But when faced with something as convenient and extravagant as the teapot, you could hardly turn it down.
Venti had been more than interested in your offer when you brought the thing home and showed it to him. After bestowing a permanent invitation upon him, he took a liking to the space quite quickly, happy to help make yourselves a new home. Having already been informed of your penchant for Mondstadt, Tubby had crafted a world for you that resembled the land of freedom’s sprawling hills, cliffs, and beaches to an impressive degree. Your new home was far grander than your old one, but with a little time and personalization with what you both brought from the cottage, it really did start to feel like home.
It was… nice, having a safe place to return to every night, regardless of where you were or what you may be caught up in. It was even nicer that Venti seemed to quite enjoy spending time there as well. There’d scarcely been an evening where both of you hadn’t wound up in the teapot together, sharing stories of your respective days over dinner.
Things carried on like that for the remainder of your time in Liyue. You spent more and more time in the land of contracts, and less and less in Mondstadt as a result. Sometimes you’d have reason to return, and somehow you’d almost always run into Venti while you were there. Time spent with him in the teapot was no less real, but it always felt… special, when the two of you were together in Mondstadt again.
Out here, it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself.
Still, just as it had been with Mondstadt, you couldn’t linger in Liyue forever. You’d built a reputation for yourself there to match your standing in Mondstadt, making a slew of new connections, exploring, finding answers and more questions alike. It was time to move on. Inazuma loomed far, far off on the southern horizon, and it was up to you to make the first step to reach it.
You didn’t want to.
You stood on the docks, looking out at Guyun Stone Forest, and at Beidou’s ship anchored nearby.
You found yourself feeling something you hadn’t felt in a long while. You felt the same as you had when standing atop the celestial nail, only this time it was somehow worse. It scared you. Yes, the prospect of setting off effectively alone to yet another unfamiliar nation, but more than that. It scared you because you thought you’d grown past this. You thought you could handle this. You thought… you thought you’d outgrown this immature sense of homesickness.
You were wrong.
If I could walk around, I swear I'll leave.
That’s how you found yourself here, ambling through the wilds of Mondstadt. You really, really don’t want to leave. But you know that you have to.
You think of the stories you’ve heard in Liyue, of the terrible war raging in the island nation to the south.
You release a shaky breath into the cooling air.
You pray that you’ll make it back alive.
Won't take nothin' but a memory, from the house that built me.
Following the cecilias as their trail grows thicker, you weave your way up to the peak of the massive cliff.
You’re only slightly surprised to see a small figure, dressed in a very familiar shade of green, sitting with their back to you at the very edge.
Tension you didn’t notice you were holding melts from your shoulders at the sight of him.
You do your best to push aside the emotional storm you’ve been caught up in, and you call out to him, playful. “Fancy seeing you here!”
He twists at the waist to face you, following your movement as you approach. “I could say the same, love. What brings you here?”
You laugh softly as you come to a halt beside him. “Well, I could ask the same of you.” You carefully lower yourself to the ground, letting your legs dangle off the cliff beside his. “Figured you’d either still be at the tavern, or were already home wondering where I was.”
He smiles at you, soft, before looking away. “I was at the tavern most of the day, like I planned this morning. But… something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t really… giving it my all, and I think the patrons could tell.”
You frown. “What didn’t feel right? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Windblume. I’m just fine.”
You aren’t convinced. “Then, uh… do you feel like sharing what isn’t fine?”
His gaze drops to the dark sea below. “I think you know what it is, actually.”
Cryptic as ever, you take a moment to ponder what he might mean. He takes the silence as an opportunity to elaborate. “I never really wonder where you are, you know?”
You glance at him, bemused for a moment before growing serious. “Oh, what, were you- like- watching me today? How… Wait, how long have you been up here, actually?”
He doesn’t look at you, but he shakes his head. “I don’t have to be watching you to know where you are, dear.” The wind tousles your hair. “I’m already everywhere. All the time. If the wind can reach you, I’m there.”
“...Oh. Right.” You let your own gaze fall to the sea. “Maybe I let myself forget sometimes, just how… literal that is.”
You remember the warm sea breeze from this afternoon, the brief gust that cooled your tear-stained cheeks early this evening, and the wind that brought the scent of cecilias down toward you.
“...So you could tell that I was here today.”
“Yeah.” He confirms quietly. “There was something… discordant, blowing in from Falcon Coast this afternoon. It didn’t take long for me to identify you.”
Guilt blooms within you. “Is that when you left the tavern?”
“No, I didn’t head out immediately. I mean- I can hardly turn off my omniscience, but I do still try to give you privacy in spite of it. I figured if you needed me, or… wanted me, you would call out.”
The way he says “wanted” makes your frown deepen.
“But, when the tone of the air only continued to sour as time passed, I did eventually give in to my concern.”
You pluck at the grass beneath you to busy your hands. “I’m sorry for distracting you. I really didn’t mean to, I just…”
He turns to you, cutting you off. “Please don’t say that. I couldn’t care less about losing out on a few mora at the tavern. I care about the fact that you’re out here, crying to yourself, all alone.”
A familiar tension makes itself at home again in your throat. “I…”
You trail off, lost for words. Venti makes up for it though, seeming to suddenly have quite a bit to get off of his own chest. “I can sense the difference between someone who wants to cry on their own, and someone who’s crying because they’re on their own.” His pained voice nearly cracks. “I never thought I’d feel the latter coming from you. But I’ve felt it more than once now, and… I don’t know what to do.”
At his confession, honesty slips out of you, and you can’t hold back the tears that come with it. “I miss you.” You turn to face him, and then look past, gesturing weakly out to the sprawling land of freedom behind you. “I miss this! I miss home! I miss you!” Voice breaking, you choke on your tears and lean into him, crumpling pathetically down onto his lap and curling yourself around him like the needy animal that you are.
His hands settle on you, one on your back and another reaching for your legs, pulling you against him so you don’t slip off the edge. His winds would cradle you if you fell, but he’d rather prevent the problem before it can happen. His own voice is tight with emotion when he speaks. “You have me, love. You- you hold me every night, I bid you goodbye every morning, you can visit Mondstadt whenever you please!”
You shake your head vehemently in his lap, crying harder.
“I’m sorry, love- I- I really don’t understand. In what way do you not have me?”
You practically shout your answer into the fabric of your sleeves, turning your head just enough to pointlessly attempt to wipe your face. “When I leave! I have to leave! I have to leave, and leave you behind, and you aren’t with me, and I’m alone again every time I go!”
One of his hands comes up to carefully comb the damp hair from your face, the black tips now wet with shimmering gold. “When you leave Mondstadt? Like… like when you go to Liyue?”
You nod, almost hyperventilating as your fears spill from you. “I should've never gone there alone! I wanted to ask you, I wanted you to come with me so badly but something told me that I shouldn't ask, that I should go alone, and so I went and I was so fucking scared but- but- but I was fine- I was fine- I made it back alive and so what if I cried every night because I missed you? I had a fucking nation to save it’s not like I could come home crying to you about it! And- and I mean Xiao was there but I- I- I can fight I can hold my own I don’t need protection I need a friend! I need company! I need you! I- I knew I’d be fine but fuck I felt so alone and I missed you, I missed you, I missed Venti, I missed Barbatos, I missed you SO MUCH-” You suddenly heave for air in the middle of your spiel, breathing in too hard and choking on your own spit. Feeling about as vulnerable and pathetic as you’ve ever been, you give in to the misery, grasping for purchase at any part of him you can reach. Your claws dig into the thin fabric of his tights in a way you know you’ll be frantically apologizing for later, but in this moment you can’t bring yourself to stop. You can't bring yourself to do anything but cry, and cry, and cry.
He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, the only sound he makes instead being a quiet, gentle hush, over and over, focused on calming you down. The cool hand that finds its way beneath your hair and settles on the back of your hot neck feels like heaven, and for a moment you cry harder at the relief. His other hand pets across the broad expanse of your back in slow, rhythmic, sweeping motions.
When your cries have quieted enough for you to focus on his words, he says something that surprises you.
“I’d have gone, if you’d have asked me.”
You hiccup a question. “Wh-what?”
“To Liyue. I would have been more than happy to go with you, if you’d have only asked.” His lithe fingers gently massage at the tension in your neck.
You twist in his hold just enough to look up at him. “Seriously?”
He gives you a weak smile, but it’s more sad than anything. “Of course. The only reason I didn’t invite myself along was because I wanted you to have the freedom to choose. I figured… if I offered to go with you, you might feel obligated to bring me with you.”
You laugh, but there's no humor in it. “This whole time… this whole time I really thought that you didn’t want to go.”
He’s visibly pained by the thought. “Why in the world wouldn’t I?”
You shake your head. “I don’t know… I just figured you had your reasons. It is another nation after all, and I’m still… not too sure how Archons feel about crossing into one another’s territory.” You clear your throat and scrub at your eyes and cheeks with a fist. “Figured maybe you didn’t want to run into Morax or something…”
He laughs, and there’s a bit of life in it this time. “Even the prospect of running into that old block-head wouldn’t be enough to stop me from accompanying you.” He takes your hand in his, stopping your aggressive assault on your messy face. “And while certain Archons might be… less than enthralled to see me again, just because I’m with you doesn’t mean I have to be recognized.”
Your brow furrows. “Venti and Barbatos don’t look all that different…”
He smiles down at you good-naturedly. “True. But I could take another form if it came down to it. Something unrecognizable to even them. If there’s anything I know how to do, it’s how to hide in plain sight and not be found.”
In spite of the tears still staining your cheeks, you give a small smile to your absentee God. “You’d really go to such lengths? For me?”
He gives you a confident nod. “For you and you only, love.”
His hand continues its gentle ministrations across your back, and your muscles gradually relax. You run a hand along the fabric of his tights, waiting for your breaths to come steady. As your senses slowly return to you, your fingertips brush across a few small tears in the material, and you cringe. Venti notices as much, and reassures you. “Hey- It’s alright. Don’t worry about that.”
His words are too late to stop you from raising your head enough to observe the damage, your hand gently cupping his thigh. “I didn’t scratch you… did I?”
“Nope! Just caught the fabric is all.” You aren’t inclined to believe him, given that with his abilities he could’ve healed any minor wounds before you even knew they were there.
You huff, dropping your head to his lap once more. “I’m still very sorry. I’ll buy you-”
“That won’t be necessary-” He tries to cut you off, but your insistence overpowers his own.
“I am buying you a new pair.”
He sighs in reluctant acceptance, knowing better than to challenge you. “Alright, alright. If you insist.”
You lay there for a moment, idly kneading at his thigh and letting the soft sounds of the evening wildlife fill the silence. Still, you struggle to wrap your head around the recent revelation. “You’d really be willing to leave this place?”
He laughs beneath his breath at your disbelief. “I mean, not permanently. If you’ve hatched some plan to move to Snezhnaya that I don’t know about, then I might have to disappoint you…”
You relax further at the familiar, playful edge that returns to his voice. “Nah, nah, nothing like that… just- on my journey away and back. Not- not even every time! Just… sometimes. It… really would’ve been nice to have you by my side the first time, actually, but I know it’s too late for that now. I just… wouldn't have felt so lost.”
His smile fades a bit at the confirmation of a long-held suspicion. You had been missing him as badly as he’d missed you.
You catch the shift in his demeanor, no matter how slight. “...I’m making you sad…”
One of his hands finds yours. “Only at the realization of how oblivious I’ve been.” He laughs, humorless. “All those nights I couldn’t sense you in the wind, all the time I spent wondering if you were okay… you weren’t. You were holed up somewhere, crying, alone, afraid…”
His eyes pinch closed and you squeeze his hand. “It’s not on you. I should’ve been more honest with you before I left.”
He huffs, and then he’s quiet for a moment, thinking. It’s times like these in which you wish you could read him as well as he can read you. “...I could say the same.”
You stare up at him for a moment in confusion. “What do you mean?”
He holds your gaze for a moment and opens his mouth to speak, but seems to think better of whatever he had to say. His focus shifts from you and out to the sea. “...Like I said, I would’ve been happy to follow you. I never should’ve let you grow to believe otherwise.”
You pout just slightly at the less-than-complete sounding answer, but another question overrides your focus. “Is Liyue… the limit?”
The hesitation in your voice gives him pause. “What do you mean?”
“Is Liyue, like, as far as you’re willing to go.”
His eyes brighten in understanding, and you’d collapse from relief at the shake of his head if you weren’t already on the ground.
“Oh! No, not at all. I really meant it when I said I’d risk running into the other Archons for you.”
You release his hand and reach up to pinch the fat of your cheeks between your claws. He pouts, reaching down to stop you. “What’s that for?”
“I’m afraid I’m dreaming or something…”
He laughs properly, a beautiful sound. You crane your neck up to glance southward. The wall of storms barricading Inazuma are still there, an awful sight. You drop your head back to his lap with a heavy sigh.
He pats you gently on the cheek. “You’re wide awake, I assure you.”
Reaching up, you gently bat at the braids that hang at the sides of his face, chewing on your lower lip. He reads you like a book. “I think we’ve learned something this evening, dear.”
“What’s that?”
He catches your hand mid-air, splaying his fingers out and lacing them between yours. “It’s that when we have something to ask of one another, we should do it.”
The corner of your mouth turns up, and you meet his gaze. “Is that your fancy way of telling me to spit it out?”
He giggles. “Maybe.”
You sigh, letting your gaze drift away from him and up to the stars far, far above. “Would you be so kind… as to accompany this scared old dog all the way to Inazuma?”
You close your eyes, waiting for a “no.”
It never comes. Instead, he squeezes your hand in his, and you’re shocked to hear relief in his tone when he answers you. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Your eyes flicker open, unsure. “Is… is that a yes?”
He nods vehemently. “It is.”
The tears that spring to your eyes catch you by surprise. He wipes them away with his thumb as they fall. Sniffling, you question him again. “There’s- There’s a whole war going on over there right now, you know?”
The blue in his braids brightens, and in the dark of the early night, you notice the same turquoise light begin to shine from his chest, beneath the thin fabric of his white shirt. “I’m no stranger to war.”
You reach up, tracing a gentle finger across where you know one of his Archon marks to be. “...That you aren’t.”
His thumb swipes across the black star at the base of your neck, half hidden by your collar. “...Guess that makes two of us, huh.”
It’s a rhetorical question, but you hum in confirmation nonetheless. Rising from your spot on his lap, you wiggle your way around until you’re seated beside him properly again. Reaching an arm out, you wrap it around his shoulders, and he leans into you. Both of you stare out across the sea, watching the lightning flash in the storm to the south.
“I don’t even know what I’m gonna be able to do to help.” You sigh. “But I know I have to go.”
One of his hands finds yours again. “Whatever may come, I consider it an honor to fight alongside you.”
You bark a laugh, shaking your head at the notion. “Hey now, I just asked you to come with me, I never said anything about putting you in the line of fire.”
He smiles. “I know, I know, but still… if it comes down to it-”
“If it comes down to that, I’m hauling you over my shoulder and taking us both home.” You cut him off in a no-nonsense tone.
Your seriousness doesn’t cause his mirth to falter. “I fear I’m gonna be the one dragging you home if we run into Signora while we’re there.”
A low growl reverberates from your chest at the mere mention of her. “We’ve still got a score to settle.”
He pats you on the thigh placatingly, humor in his words. “Darling, how many times must I reassure you? I let her take it from me.”
“Still, she didn’t have to be so fucking rough about it. I’m not after the gnosis. She made this personal.” You snarl.
His soft laughter subsides as he shakes his head, but he doesn’t argue.
The two of you watch the lightning show for a short while, before you grow tired of the dreadful sight and opt to focus on something better. Unwrapping your arm from the God at your side, you stifle a laugh as he voices his sudden startled displeasure. You apologize as you reposition yourselves, moving away from the edge a bit and turning the both of you around. “Sorry about that, didn’t realize you’d almost fallen asleep on me.”
He pouts. “Can you blame me? You’re warm, and it’s been a stressful day… and speaking of-”
You nod. “I know. We should be getting home soon. But- look.” You point at the beautiful sight of Mondstadt City, lit up for the night, a beacon of hope and freedom standing strong in the distance. “Isn’t that a sight worth sticking around a little longer for?”
He sighs in content as you pull him against you once more. You can’t feel the swell of pride in his chest at the sight, but you can hear it in his voice. “It sure is.”
Lifting his hat from his head and placing it in his lap, you comb your fingers through his hair, finding your own satisfaction in the way he melts against you. The two of you admire the city for a long few minutes, and a thought occurs. “As much as I want you beside me… I feel bad taking you from your people.”
He shakes his head and the motion tickles as his hair brushes against your chin. “They don’t need me, love. At least, not in the day-to-day sense.” He huffs. “Honestly, I think the most prominent place that my presence will be missed is the tavern, and that’s of little consequence in the grand scheme.”
You know he’s right, but the guilt still nags at you. “I guess…”
He leans away just enough to turn and look you in the eye. “You are one of my people too, you know?”
You hold his gaze, considering it. Have you really been here long enough, or made a big enough impact on the region to be bestowed with such an honorary title? “...I suppose I do.”
He reaches up and cups your cheek, eyes pleading. “Then let me be there for you.”
You breathe a sigh of acceptance. “...Okay.” You turn your head and plant a quick kiss against his palm before he can pull away.
He lets his hand drop, but doesn’t turn away. “I’m really sorry that you’ve been carrying all of this pain with you for so long. I should have questioned you on it sooner.”
You pick his hand up from his lap, taking it in yours. “It’s not your fault. At least, certainly not anymore than it is mine. I should've just asked you to come, the worst thing you could’ve said was no.”
“I still hate that you even thought I might’ve said no. I… should have made my willingness clearer.”
“Nah, I mean, after a year of following me around Mondstadt I think you were quite clear. I’m just… dense.” You summon a few tiny Geo shards in your palm before allowing them to crumble into a shimmering pile of dust. “Comes with the territory, I suppose.”
Venti scoffs. “Well if you’re dense, then I’m diffuse.” A tiny gust of Anemo swoops in and lifts the dust from your outstretched palm, scattering it to the wind.
You watch your two energies mix and dissolve into the night air. “I guess they do say that opposites attract.”
He hums. “That they do, love.”
You expect him to turn back toward the city, and he almost does, but then he hesitates, and calls you by name. “I want you to remember something.”
Your interest piques, brows raising above tired, lidded eyes. “And what’s that?”
His tone is serious. “You are not alone. Ever. Not if you don’t want to be. I don’t want you hesitating to call on me ever again. If you need me, if you want me, I’m there. No exceptions.” Maybe it’s the day’s exhaustion catching up with you, but the light in his eyes feels like a beacon, guiding you home. “You don’t ever have to be alone again. Remember this, please.”
Something warm blooms in your chest, and it’s in this moment that you realize the knot in your stomach has loosened. It isn’t gone, but it’s hardly noticeable anymore, and you finally breathe easy. You hold his gaze for a moment before nodding, serious. “I will.”
He brings his hand up, holding his pinky out toward you. “Promise?”
You smile, reaching out and wrapping yours around his. “Promise.”
He exhales, satisfied. “You wanna stay out here a bit longer?”
You open your arms in invitation. “I’d love to.”
Shuffling around once more, you help situate him between your legs, pulling him back against your chest.
“Alright, but don’t hold it against me if I fall asleep out here. You make for quite the comfortable bed, you know.”
You smile, nuzzling into his hair and breathing him in. The heavy scent of fermentation he once carried is now nothing but a faint whisper. “I won’t mind.” Lifting your gaze from the distant city lights, you quietly admire the stars above. “Not at all.”
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! You can find my commentary on this fic in the notes right here on Ao3. For more info on my OC Saoirse (aka this fic's "Reader"), along with links to various relevant playlists and moodboards, you can find it all here, in the notes of my fic series "This Is Unconditional." This is fic 4 of 16 that I'm doing based on combining prompts from this list! [Day 6 (Singing) & Day 21 (Memory)] Header Image Source: Me, for once! It's an in-game screenshot that I took myself.
#venti#venti x reader#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact venti#genshin venti#barbatos#genshin fanfic#attempt number 2 at posting this.. now with fewer tags incase that was the problem last time#i did Not spend the last 6 nights editing it and meticulously preparing the drafts on here and Ao3 for it to not be seen#i have no clue what made it not show up in the tags but i'm gonna try this and if it wasn't that (or just a random incident)#then i'll split it in half and post in in two parts. maybe 11k is overwhelming for Tumblr's system or smthn idk man#i feel like the 'Venti is an adult' mention is unnecessary but i slapped it up there anyways for all of you Short = Minor buffoons 🙄#i. actually can’t think of much else to ramble abt in the tags bc like. i already did that on Ao3 😭 and linked all the playlists and stuff#i’m not just trying to push my Ao3 acct on ppl when i always link to it in the end notes it’s just that i draft my fics up over there first#so by the time i’m drafting them here on Tumblr i’ve simply run out of yap
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I’ll go into a social media exile for a bit, so idk when I’ll be back, but just picture me like this while I’m gone: working <3
#I hope to pass my exams and to have answers regarding my project when I’ll back#bye moots. I really like interacting with all of you :)) 💗#I’m leaving here Machia to look after my blog. bro better do a good job>:(#I’ve deleted the last stands of social from my phone and I’m currently blogging from my tablet(but soon it will be gone on here too).#bye Pinterest. bye YouTube#and bye tumblr for now(?)#even if I have already reduced both my online engagement and internet footprint in the past three years I always found myself attached to#the few socials that I have and until I’m not in full control I don’t want to have anything to do with any of them.#if anyone wants to ever chat I’m still on discord tho!#💗💗#ultimamente poi ho scoperto che esistono anche persone qui che condividono i miei interessi per la letteratura e l’antichità#ed è stata proprio una bella sorpresa perché non pensavo esistessero spazi online per condividere in modo divertente queste passioni#anche se da tempo cercavo un luogo del genere. dove poter semplicemente scherzare sugli uomini e donne vecchi come il mondo ai quali tengo#manco fossero mia sorella#I’m making such a scene (again)#there must be a reason as for why my friend call me drama queen constantly;)#ngl im honestly kinda excited to be totally out of touch with pop culture. idk#I just have this postive idea about it#( I have schedule a post for the 21st of September if I’m not back in time to post it lol)#byeee 🫶🫶🫶#my blog stuff
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cw: gore and mentioned death for like 2 lines, nervous breakdown (or at least on the edge of one). Spoilers for ISAT.
YIPPEE ONE OF THE 3 FUNNY LOOPS!!! YIPPEEEEEEE
readmore'd this one early because the cws are at the beginning (and this one's kinda chunky)
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You'd been doing so well, this loop. You didn't crab anything up, you made the bomb and yet, and yet here you crabbing are, in the same bloodstained halls as always, kicking through puddles of gore like it's a normal Sunday, which you GUESS it is now!
Nothing you do matters. It doesn't matter it doesn't matter IT DOESNT! MATTER! And you just have to crabbing LIVE with it, forever, twenty four hours over and over, twenty four big metal bars of your hand-crafted cage.
So you just. Stop. Pull off to the side and sit up against a wall that isn't coated lightless with death and just.
You break down in tears.
It's still going. You're still going YOU'RE STILL GOING. One for all. Just you suffering, because everyone will be okay after you loop back, but not you! You'll carry this with you, forever! You don't want to be here anymore. You just... want it to stop.
And.
It does?
The world fades out, and not in the way it does when you die, no; it just... is suddenly dark. Thick and heavy like syrup around you. It's hard to move, to breathe. You find yourself struggling.
There are. Footsteps, coming in your direction. You can hear them clearly, like a pin dropping in a silent room. You struggle to your feet-- and it's a struggle, because you still can't breathe right and your legs shake like a newborn animal. It's a struggle to see anything around you through the veil of pure darkness that sparkles and floats around you.
And here you stand, in the sky itself, facing yourself.
More correctly, a mockery of yourself. It pulls itself forwards like you'd been doing all day, tilted and shaking and exhausted. Painted pure lightless and sparkling, like the blood painted on the King's armor. You glare daggers at it, because it is not you and if you believe it even could possibly be, even just a little, you will probably be giving it some kind of power.
It faces your direction, and it's lack of eyes and mouth sends shivers down your spine. It's not real, it's not real it's not real!!! It can't be!!! Why would this be real? You're frozen, you have to be because this is a crabbing DREAM it has to be you have to be frozen because if it's not then what the crab IS THIS, is your brain working against you? Are you imagining the frost crawling up your spine and the burning in your throat, if you try speaking you'll spit pure fire because you have Changed yourself with a capital C and Destroyed yourself with a capital D. It's a big angry mockery of yourself and you want it to go away you want everything to stop, stop, stop please--
It shifts. You move in response, nails digging into your palm. It takes a step forwards. The floor ripples like waves and they roll over your shoes, washing the blood from them. You back up some in return.
You open your mouth to say something or try and ward it off, but only a cough comes out. Blood runs down your chin.
It tilts its head (your head, YOUR head, it's freaking you right the crab out) and opens its OWN mouth, and--
It. Speaks.
[BURNING ONE.]
The sound that comes out, it's the King's voice. It shocks you still, and your lungs stop pulling in air at the pure horror. The thought hits your brain, did the King make this thing?
[Claude?]
No. No wait, now it's Euphrasie.
What.
[Do you know what this is?] Now it's Mirabelle??? [Don't drink it? What do you mean it's toxic?!]
Okay. Stop. This is making your head hurt. Like your brain has been restarted, turned off and back on again. You've run directly into a brick wall and now you're just confused. It's... using other's voices. Mockeries. Pulling from random conversations that you've just barely remembered. Mirabelle poured one of your potions on a plant she tried to grow once and it killed it. You hadn't cared at the time, but now, now... you'll never leave your stuff out again. That very same potion killed you, and it could've killed HER.
You know damn well what you've worked with. The plants and chemicals, toxic in every way. You'd always liked to dance on the edge of safety, tempting death to come get you: maybe that's why you're here now, doomed to repeat the same day over and over. Death coming back to laugh at you and take your soul, over and over again.
Maybe this thing is Death, coming to mock you face to face. Wouldn't that be a crabbing laugh? The very concept of the end, pointing and laughing right in front of you, using the voices of the ones you love. What a crabbing joke.
[Claude,] it pulls from Euphie again. [Are you okay?]
No. Why would you be okay, at this point? It tilts its head, and you shake yours. Crab it. Why not. Your voice is failing, withering away in the furnace of your mouth.
[HOW HAVE YOU DONE IT?] It echoes the King's voice at a louder volume.
You know. You know, you know you know. You wished, and figured out something new, something different, and now you have eternity and you want it to stop.
[Are you enjoying yourself over there?] Ohhh, oh you need it to stop using her voice. Twisting your girlfriend's kindly voice into something wrong, using it against you. You throw a punch, and it surges back.
[What do you mean, you've done this before?] Why, why is it doing this to you. You want it to stop you want it to go away you want to. [Can you tell me what happened?]
You can't. You don't, you don't want to do this anymore. Make it stop. Make it stop.
It looks at you. At your clasped together hands.
[YOU?]
Your voice sputters to life. Gurgles over blood. "I don't remember."
It opens its mouth.
[I wish...] Oh... that's...
[I wish we had more time!]
It reaches out, and grabs you by the lapel of your draping coat. Pulls you forwards. Your legs buckle under you, and it slightly holds you up. Looks down at you.
It has eyes behind the glasses now. Irises curled with spirals, the same crabbed up shade yours are.
[I'M SORRY.]
That's... that's you.
[THIS WAS THE DESTINED OUTCOME OF THE EXPERIMENT.]
Ahh...
The ice creeps up your back. Daggers and pins in your spine, between the bones.
[IT'S TIME TO GO TO SLEEP.]
You wished for more time, and...
It lets you go. You fall limp.
You can't move.
That's okay.
[BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.]
You
Let go.
(If you had held out for five more minutes, you could've been there, beside yourself, when your hopelessness ate you alive and turned you into a Sadness. Watched as they found you, how they screamed, and how they had to kill what was left of you. Lucky you!)
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat claude#claude looping au#in craft and cages#kinda stumbled through this one guys. oh well#whenever the fic rolls around I’ll prob rewrite this for it#because I’m just throwing things at the wall here lolllllll#can u tell I only know how to write claude right lmaoooo. that’s why the cute one is taking so long#I gotta figure out what to call this THANG [points at not-claude]#pov me looking up other words that aren’t already in the game#erm. maybe mourn. or smth#because hopelessness was already in the game#idk if this is complete or not but I’ve been staring at this for like 2 hours and I’m eepy. good enough 2 post
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The blogs claiming all the Palestinian users are scammers is so stupid. If you look at the blogs and click the gofundmes you can tell they’re real people. The icons are pictures of these families, the usernames are family names that you can look up!!, the posts are always very detailed, and the accounts are new and just dedicated to this issue.
The tumblr scammers we already know of tend to have the default auto-generated usernames with a stolen selfie, have reblogged the top 20 or so posts from this week, and have a PayPal link asking for money for insulin.
#saw one weirdo claim that these are obviously scammers because they’re too attractive to be refugees and like. bruh#it’s already so humbling to come on here asking for help. why would they post selfies of their undignified situation.#also the notion that no Palestinian person used tumblr before this most recent act of genocide. lol your racism is showing#idk I’ve seen a lot of awful posts as of late.#honking
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He’s calling you a fag btw
(Higher screen brightness may help you see detail but idk bc my screen brightness was always the brightest it could get throughout drawing this)
#icba with fixing shading in some places#idk if I’ve already posted this but I went over 1 thing since then#so uh. here you go (again? maybe? idfk)#tgcf#hong hong er#tgcf hua cheng#hua cheng#tgcf san lang#san lang#tiny pookie
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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shout out to stan for being accidentally written as the only decent human being in the entire fic
#idk he seems to be better than butters atp#im actually deciding whether to give stan the shine a light reprise bad ending iykwim cause im stuck for characters to kill off#do you know what i am saying? (/ref lol)#but errr okay so if you’ll ignore the fact that this post turned into me just thinking aloud and go with me here#so i don’t wanna have characters that are like exactly kurt and ram so instead im just gonna have kurt/ram adjacent characters who kenny#kills for a *different* reason so just being an ass to butters in general i guess idk#idk i’ll think of something bad for them to do after i think of the characters#which leads me onto what i was gonna say in the sense that i really don’t know who those characters should be#i was thinking craig and maybe clyde cause like idk ive already written craig to be a dick and ooooooh hang on go with me here#so i’ve already thought maybe i won’t set it in 1989 so i’ll probably go with modern day make tweek and craig canon yay and then in the#suicide pact between him and clyde i’ll say kenny came up with the idea of making it look like craig cheated and because of the “ich lüge”#bullets when he “wakes up” it’ll cause drama between him and tweek or whatever#something like that obviously the idea isn’t fully fleshed out but yeah that could work#this is going to look so concerning if you follow me for south park but haven’t seen heathers rip bro
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I’m really struggling w seeing people who participated in the “let’s gang up on and brutally harass this guy based on an assumption, because he makes a convenient scapegoat” incident of ‘24 saying “I apologized :3 sorry I was just emotional :3 all done now :3”
Hhgghgghghgh. Apologized to who. To me? To the other random people y’all harassed off the platform? Sorry, I’m still hurt over this, I say this as nothing more than an expression of my own feelings. No animosity, I’m just struggling. Like I still have no closure on this entire thing, the most I’ve gotten is… people stopped telling me to kms? Which might mean they now understand they were mistaken? I do not know. Hsggdgs. I don’t understand how people are saying “I apologized”
I wish absolutely no hate towards anyone, that’s never a solution, I’ve always advocated that. I only hope people grow and heal from this. I just wish I had even a smidge of closure.
#the whole time I’ve been thinking “Sydney O Sargent would be shaking his head and frowning. he would never support bullying. ever.’’#and he sure as hell would never participate in it#not my Sydney.#it makes me feel nauseous#I feel like people think I’m some big strong grown adult man guy dude. I’m just some teenager who posts art online#my following ain’t even large. it only looks that way because this fanbase is smaller. I’m not untouchable. I was in fact very hurt#am very hurt#it’s 4am and I can’t sleep again#venting on the personal blog again because idk where else to go and I’m pretty sure it’s only friends here#I am glad it’s over for some of them. I just wish I could move forward that easily#nobody seems to acknowledge the consequences of their actions and how they hurt people#and re-opened a lot of wounds I was already trying to heal#at least don’t lie about it… don’t say you apologized
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hello tumblr.
what do we think of the evil puter? ^_^
#i’ve already shown him on discord and twitter but#might as well post him here too#thought y’all might like this freak considering#edgar electric dreams is popular here#idk LOL#art#my art#oc#original character#computer#computer oc
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You know what would be really funny, is if people came together to have an anti-crab day. A day where every user who joined prior to automattic’s acquisition logged off for 24 hours to show that yes, actually, older user retention is important and you should listen us just as much as new users
The users giveth, the users taketh away
#this isn’t about the sidebar btw I’ve already said I don’t mind the sidebar#I think it could be a better sidebar like the 2014 tumblr layout which was great#but it’s Fine (tm)#this is about live and the new post editor and the apparent avatar removal bs ‘experiment’#and it’s also about how these big overhauls keep being done meanwhile we can’t have like. a search function that works#or the queue reordering tools that already exist on mobile web applied to any other platform#you know. all the little stuff that’s comparatively easy to implement yet they ‘don’t have time’ for because they’re too busy#with these massive overhauls and ignoring all the asks that go to wip#also I don’t expect anyone to actually do this and I’m sure as hell not organizing anything cause that’s a lot of work lmao#but I think giving them money pre-emptivelt just showed they can do whatever they want and we’ll fall for it#taking away money would be more effective#idk I don’t think current staff are any better at running tumblr than yahoo was#they’re just better at the ‘we’re quirky and relatable just like you guys uwu’ bit#and a lot of us fell for it but I think the illusion is starting to lift#anyway idk it sucks here but all the other sites are either worse or empty so what can we do#(genuinely wtf can we do this nonsense is getting bad)#text#misc#shut up nerd#new layout stuff
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