#the few socials that I have and until I’m not in full control I don’t want to have anything to do with any of them.

[machiavelli]

I’ll go into a social media exile for a bit, so idk when I’ll be back, but just picture me like this while I’m gone: working <3

[chaconnehoon-reblogs]

Obsession- L. HS

✶ Heeseung x Fem! Reader

Synopsis- Who knew the shy, sweet boy from high school would change so much over a couple years? When you realized what you had been missing out on, you didn’t hesitate to show interest in him. Who knew what he really felt after finally having you to himself?

Word Count: 20k

Warnings: SMUT!! Lots of smut and mature themes in general, controlling parents, toxic relationship, Heeseung and reader are both a tiny bit crazy and obsessive

Smut warnings: Kissing, oral(f&m), dry humping, unprotected sex, public sex, masochism, voyeurism, hair pulling, sadism, squirting, etc. that I forgot, I apologize

A/N: Lots of very dark themes, please don’t read if you’re looking for pure vanilla smut bcs this is not the place!! I had many, many ideas for this but decided to take it easy as it’s my first full writing, so look forward to more of my ideas in the future! This was also proofread so many times but I’m sure there are still a few mistakes I missed, pls ignore them :)

Taglist:

@haelahoops @rayofsunshineeee @wannieepisod @ke4s @jungwonloveer @cyberinnie @tasnim10 @hee-yunie @iamliacamila @bluesoobinnie @sumzysworld @blckvper @capri-cuntz @parksunghoonsgf @ladyartemesia @seokseokjinkim

This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!

For once in your life, you felt free.

The moment you came out of your mother’s womb, grumpy and crying, were thrown under constant observation. Every friend you made and every building you stepped foot into was to be researched and evaluated by your parents before you were given their permission to have a social life.

When you were in kindergarten you were accidentally pushed off of the play structure by another student, but stood back up with no serious injuries. However, when your mother picked you up and seen the cuts from the bark on your arm, she demanded you tell her who had hurt you and later requested that the teacher kept you and the boy separated for the rest of the year.

The next day, the same boy introduced himself as Jake and handed you a heart lollipop, asking you to be his valentine. And so you agreed, and you agreed every year after that, until he eventually stopped asking when you both knew the answer would stay the same.

Your mother disapproved of Jake, claiming he’s too mischievous and a bad influence on you. He was both of those things, but he never showed it, which is why you came to the conclusion that your mother just didn’t like him simply because he’s a boy. She had to put up with him though, because of your fathers undying love for your friend, claiming him as his “son he never had”.

Your friendship with Jake had blossomed since day one, and he was your one and only best friend from that point on, until you both started your freshman year of high school. High school was different; there were different subjects, different sports, different people.

So, when Jake showed up at your front door one day after school with two boys, one on either side of him, your mother slammed the door in their faces and called for you to come downstairs. She dragged you to the window and cracked the blinds open enough for both of you to see through, and then shut them before looking at you with her arms crossed. “Explain” she spat out and your eyes widened as you shook your head. “I don’t know them ma, I swear!” You put your hands up defensively and then she rolled her eyes before peeking through the blinds again.

She let out an unbelieving ‘mhm’ and you threw your arms in the air. “I promise! They’re probably just Jake’s friends, he’s a guy and he needs to have other guy friends too, you would know.” You hissed the last phrase at her and you could see her jaw clench before she turned to you again. “Don’t use that tone with me.” She remained calm while she spoke but you’re sure if you looked hard enough you could see the steam coming from her ears.

“I’m just saying” you started speaking before plopping yourself on the couch just below the window, “You always say I shouldn’t be friends with boys, especially the ones like Jake. So maybe he made new friends that are like him.” You looked at your mother as if waiting for her validation, but she just kept her eyes on the boys. You joined her again and appreciated the fact that they didn’t give up and leave, which was probably Jake’s idea considering he was standing with his arms crossed and staring straight into the door.

Before you could try to convince her more, your father was pulling up in the drive way, honking when he noticed the kids at his front door and you tried not to giggle when the three boys jumped and whipped their heads around. You seen Jake slightly relax at the sight of your dad walking up to them with his keys in his hand, and he was eventually unlocking the front door and letting them inside.

Your mother huffed before your father was pulling her into a nearby room and you heard him harshly scold her for being so immature. Outside of the room, Jake was squeezing you half to death in a tight hug, before letting go and whispering an apology for bringing two strangers along with him. “This is Jay” he turned to the boy on his left and put an arm around his shoulder, “and this is Sunghoon” he swung his other arm over the other boy’s shoulder, but had tilted slightly upwards due to the height difference.

You held your hand out and greeted both boys, looking them in the eyes and noting how Sunghoon was quick to avoid eye contact, instead looking at the floor. Jay on the other hand, was confident in himself and gave you a little smirk as you smiled at him. He had low, lazy looking eyes, but his smirk was sharp and showed off his dimple nicely. Sunghoon was shy, but he was nonetheless gorgeous and had the most beautiful eyebrows you’d ever seen. You were also quite fond of his dimpled smile, which shows his sharp canine teeth that resemble vampire fangs.

From that day on, Jay and Sunghoon were added to your friend group and were soon considered your best friends, along with Jake of course. Jake was your number one from the start and you will always see him as that, trusting him the most with your life.

So, when you were both 16 and upset that you hadn’t had your first kiss yet, you let Jake take that title as he kissed you behind the school after you had asked. He was pretty inexperienced himself, but being handsome from an early age allowed him to kiss a few girls in his life before having the pleasure of kissing you. This didn’t change anything in your relationship, staying as friends and promising to never cross that line.

Even if there were no strings attached, the kiss ignited something inside of you, having you crave more and more until you were satisfied. For the rest of your high school experienced, you had experimented relationships with a few people, even going as far as kissing other girls, but realizing you liked the spark you got from being with a man.

✶.

Your best friends were by your side throughout everything, giggling along with you while you talked about a new boyfriend, or supporting you when you wanted to egg the same guy’s car after he cheated on you. The boys were by your side when you fought with your mom about moving away for college, even helping you move into your apartment when you did. They were even by your side the day you started your third year of college and you had gotten accused of sleeping with another girl’s boyfriend at a party. But instead of encouraging you to fight her when she started putting her hair up, Jay had thrown a cockroach at her, resulting in the four of you running into a random classroom to hide.

“Seriously though, who even tries to start a physical fight anymore, we’re too old for that.” Jay was shaking his head and laughing through his sentence like it was the funniest thing he ever experienced. “Who throws bugs at other people!?” Sunghoon smacks Jay in the back of the head before speaking again, “We’re too old for that too!” Sunghoon’s voice sounds horse like he’s really stressing the situation as if he’s so mature himself.

“Oh come on!” Jake is speaking now, adding a whine to his voice, “Don’t act like you didn’t put that snake in a can prank in Heeseung’s backpack last year!” His recollection causes everyone to burst out laughing, and you try your best to laugh along despite your lack of knowledge of the situation.

“Right! Who could forget!” A fifth voice pulls you out of your thoughts as the five of you go quiet, slowly turning around to find where the voice was coming from. Your eyes widen as you mentally facepalm for not looking around the room before entering.

“Oh! What’s up Heeseung?” Jake is greeting him before you can even register who the boy a few feet away from you is. Heeseung sighs before walking up a few steps, “Hi Jake” he shifts his focus, “Jay…Sunghoon” he gives a glance towards the other two before locking eyes with you. “Y/N” he says lowly as if he held anger behind his voice.

You don’t understand why he would be angry at you. Perhaps it’s the fact that you stumbled into a random classroom, and maybe he’s busy with something that you interrupted. But with the way he’s looking at you, it feels deeper than your understanding.

“Heeseung! Hi!” You smiled softly at him, trying your best to not sound intimidated despite your breathy voice. “It’s been a while, huh?” You try making small talk and you hear Jay snicker next to you.

“It’s been three years.” Heeseung sounds snarky as he walks up the last few steps with his hands in his hoodie pocket and finally stands across from all four of you. “Right…three years.“ you nod your head and you hear Sunghoon clear his throat, “Look Heeseung, we’re not trying to start anything, and I apologize for what I pulled last year.” Sunghoon defends himself, standing up straighter as if he’s sizing up towards Heeseung.

A few silent seconds pass before Heeseung is throwing his head back and bursting out in laughter. The three boys around you all exchange quick glances before Heeseung is running a hand through his hair and speaking again, “You guys are too funny.” He takes one long step over, sticking out his hand like he’s offering it to Jake.

You look at Jake from next to him, watching as he swallows dryly while looking at Heeseung’s extended hand. You nudge his opposite arm slightly and he breaks his gaze, looking at you before looking at Heeseung’s face, which is now settled with a small smirk. You nudge him harder in hopes that he’ll take the hint, and he eventually does considering he’s quick to pull his hand out from his own pocket and dabs Heeseung up, a loud clapping sound following.

“Relax, Sim” Heeseung says lowly this time and you hear the rasp in his voice. Jake lets out an awkward giggle and retracts his hand, wiping the sweat off onto his thigh, “What are you doing in here anyways?” Heeseung looks around the room before turning back to your friend group, “Well, I wanted to get to know the location of my class before it started.” He raises a questioning eyebrow, “I’d assume you all were too if I hadn’t overheard your conversation.” Heeseung laughs to himself and you suddenly remember that you hadn’t found your class yet. “Oh! That’s right! Well I guess we should probably get going then.” You sweetly smile at Heeseung and the boys next to you all let out sounds of realization when they remember they still need to find their classes also.

“What classes do you guys have?” Heeseung sits atop one of the desks and you wait for the boys to speak up, but instead they’re all searching for their schedule on their phones. “Um…I have intro to music prouction.” You sound confident this time, but slowly loose the confidence once you see how deeply Heeseung is staring at you. “Oh! Me too!” Sunghoon smiles brightly and wraps an arm around your waist, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung. “Hey! Me three! Let’s go!” Jake flexes an arm proudly while patting Sunghoon on the back. “Well, looks like we all have it together!” Jay suddenly says and joins your circle of cheers.

Heeseung watches from the table he’s sitting on, noting how close you and the boys seem. Of course you’re close, you have been since you’ve met, but Heeseung still can’t help the feeling of jealousy he senses deep in his stomach.

“I guess we should go look for the room then.” Jake releases from the group and heads for the classroom door until Heeseung is speaking up again. “No need” he states simply and you all turn to look at him for the nth time. “This is the intro to music production room.” He says with a shrug, looking around the room. You again feel the need to mentally face palm as you failed to notice the set up of the classroom, but also feel thankful that you hadn’t knocked over any important and expensive equipment.

You all stand awkwardly for a few seconds until the bell suddenly rings and Jake lets out a small yelp. You giggle at him and you can see Heeseung’s jaw clench as he quickly stands up and then sits down at the same table’s seat. You glance around the classroom, too uncomfortable to sit anywhere but not sure if it would make Heeseung uncomfortable to sit next to him. Before you could make a decision Jake is pulling you into the seat next to Heeseung, and then sitting next to you with Sunghoon and Jay following.

You glare at Jake and he gives you big puppy eyes and juts out his bottom lip, pouting as an apology. You roll your eyes and stare back towards the front of the class, trying your best to focus on the people filling up the seats while Heeseung is looking at you through his peripheral vision. “So,” Jay’s voice startles you and you feel your knee bump Heeseung’s, but he’s quick to place a hand on it to keep you from moving further. You look down at his hand before looking up at him through your eyelashes, then quickly turn your attention towards Jay when he’s talking again.

“Heeseung, um, I didn’t know you take music production classes.” Jake and Sunghoon hum in agreement and you’re wondering how long it’s been since they had last seen him. “You did” Heeseung is quick to spit out, almost annoyed. “When you put the snake can in my backpack? That was in our ethnomusicology class.” He pauses and you can almost see a hurt look in his eye as he looks past you and towards your friends. “And the year before that was when we all had music theory together.” You widen your eyes at the realization that your friends are either very dumb, or very self absorbed to not notice him before. Possibly both.

“Oh right!” Jake snaps his fingers and points at Heeseung with a big smile on his face. “I remember now! Such fun classes.” He hums the last part as if he’s missing them while Heeseung seems to be feeling the quite opposite. He squeezes your knee with his hand that you forgot was touching you, and you look up at him with big eyes. This seems to calm him as he rubs light circles with his thumb before pulling his hand away and into his lap.

As if on que, the professor walks in and greets the class, introducing himself and starting a long synopsis of the course, and you soon find yourself forgetting all about the new yet old peer next to you.

✶.

You wouldn’t consider Heeseung as an old friend. In fact, you’re not sure he even has any real friends. Of course he has the occasional book worms that you would see him studying with in high school. However, that was years ago, and you just seeing him again now.

Which is why you’re now pushing the back of Jake’s head when you walk behind him as he’s relaxing on your couch, questioning why he never told you how much Heeseung had changed.

“Because? I didn’t think you’d care?” He looks at you in confusion as you lay on the couch next to him, throwing your legs across his lap and he places his arms behind his head. “You don’t think I’d care about how hot he is?” You scoff and Jake just shrugs while looking up at your ceiling.

You look towards Sunghoon and Jay who were raiding your fridge, then pausing like they were caught committing a crime. “Hey don’t look at us!” Sunghoon hissed before he turns and opens up your microwave, putting what you can assume is a bowl of ramen inside. “Yeah don’t look at us” Jay speaks in between taking sips of your two liter of coke, “We’re not your new eye candy” he teases and you roll your eyes, looking away and back towards Jake.

“I’m just saying guys,” you throw your arms in the air like you’re trying to make a point. “Last I seen he was a nerd with big round glasses and ears too big for his head,” you almost catch yourself smiling before you’re talking again, “and now? He has nice hair and the height of the green giant?” You hear Jake laugh and you watch as he picks his head back up and places his hands on your legs. “Trust me Y/N,” Jake shakes his head, “He’s still as much of a pathetic nerd as he always has been, he was just trying to act tough in front of you.” He lightly pokes your legs and you wiggle them away until you’re sitting up next to him.

“Well you know I do like pathetic men.” You smile to yourself, not even the slightest ashamed of your enjoyment of corrupting cute boys. “But why would he try to act tough for me?” You furrow your brows at Jake and he pressed his lips into a line like he’s disappointed in your question. “Are you serious?” Sunghoon is yelling from the kitchen this time, “He has like the biggest crush on you!” He’s crossing his arm and tapping his foot like a disappointed father, much like Jake.

You shake your head and laugh loudly, “That was in high school! I doubt he still does.” You try your best to sound sure of yourself, but the last sentence comes out quiet. “Bullshit” Jake slaps your thigh and you glare at him as he pokes your head. “You didn’t see the way he was looking at you earlier?” You shake your head and slap his arm away and he scoffs. “So oblivious” you frown at him while he’s talking about you as if he’s not talking to you. “Plus” he starts again and raises his eyebrows in a flirty way, “He’s been asking about you for the past two years, trying to figure out if he’d have a class with you n’ shit.” Jake shrugs and you scold him for not telling you before.

“What? So you like him all of a sudden?” Jay sinks into the couch next to you and extends an arm across the back, encasing you next to him. “Just because he’s cute now?” He kissed his teeth and shakes his head as if he’s disapproving. “He’s always been cute, just in a different way.” you start off but you’re quickly interrupted by shocked gasps from the three boys and a loud crash from the kitchen.

The three of you turn on the couch to see Sunghoon standing in the kitchen entrance with a bowl of ramen in one hand and the other hand clutching his chest, mouth agape in shock. “You did not just say that.” He whispers breathily like he’s just been told life changing news. “And you did not just break one of my favorite glasses.” You give him an offended look and point a finger at him, then towards your now shattered glass cup on the floor. “You’re cleaning that up and buying me a new one.” You quirk an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, setting down his ramen before bending down to pick up the fallen glass. You tried your best to ignore the fake groans he lets out as if he’s too old and fragile to bend.

“Anyways” Jake claps his hands, “I’m taking a nap! You guys can either join me or stay awake and not break anything so she doesn’t kick us out.” You turn back towards Sunghoon to see him at the trashcan now, flipping Jake off without looking in your direction. Jake only makes it to standing for a second before you’re pulling him back down by his belt loops, resulting in him landing back onto the couch with a huff.

“No.” You simply state and poke his chest, “You’re gonna sit here and explain to me what prank on Heeseung you guys were talking about.” You cross your arms and Jake just whines and sinks himself into the couch more. “It’s nothing really.” Sunghoon sits on the floor in front of the three of you, now slurping his bowl of ramen. “You don’t get a say in if it’s ‘nothing’ or not.” You narrow your eyes at the boy and he breaks eye contact with you to stir his ramen.

“Seriously Y/N” Jay puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you to look at him, “We had bought one of those fake cans that have snakes that pop out, and Hoon was showing it to us. When he went to put it back, Heeseung’s backpack just happened to be the closest to Hoon at the time so he mistook it as his.” Jay tries to reassure you but you just sink yourself into the couch, the same as Jake. “Was funny as fuck though.” Sunghoon was adding on, almost choking on his ramen as he laughed.

You know they’re not lying to you, you’ve grown up with these boys basically your whole life and you know they’d never intentionally bully someone. You’re not sure why you care so much about Heeseung all of a sudden, and as if he could read your mind, Sunghoon is speaking up. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about him like that.” He stands up and walks to the kitchen, making an audible tsk noise.

You sigh and tap your fingers against the couch, deep in thought. The last time you had really spoken to Heeseung he had fluffy, unstyled hair, and wore cute sweaters that he always looked so cozy in. His eyes were big and round, and sparkled no matter how dark it was. He also had cute pink lips with a pretty Cupid’s bow that pulled into a pretty smile. “I guess I am.” You sat up from the couch and Jake made a noise like you had woken him up suddenly. You turn to look at him and he widens his eyes, “I heard everything I promise! You were talking about how much you wanted to kiss Heeseung~.” He teases the last sentence like a middle school girl teasing you for having a crush.

You pushed his shoulder slightly and stood up from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. “Whatever, I’m also going to take a nap so don’t break anything!” You called out while walking up the stairs, hearing an offended scoff come from Sunghoon.

✶

You expected to show up to a frat party on the first Friday night of the semester and get black out drunk for the first time in a while. You didn’t expect to see Heeseung there as well. He was there though, surprisingly not standing out, but not quite fitting in either.

He was making his way towards the corner of the room, and that’s when you realized maybe he hadn’t changed too much. Since the first day you met him, he was always backed up into a random corner of any room, eyes wide and shoulders tense. However, now he looks slightly more comfortable, but not at ease.

Jay throws an arm around your shoulder, annoyingly pulling you close and you can already smell the alcohol on his breath despite just walking into the house 30 seconds ago. “What a surprise.” He says with raised eyebrows that quickly fall when he takes another sip out of the questionable cup he grabbed.

You face him and grab the cup out of his hands, setting it down on a shelf close to you. “You sicko! Where did you get this? You don’t even know what’s in it.” Jay shrugs at your words and respectably burps away from your face before replying, “Something with Rum. I know my baby when I taste it.” He giggles to himself and you scrunch your nose and try to push him off of you, giving up after realizing he’s somehow stronger when he’s intoxicated.

“Check it out.” You hear Jay lowly mumble into your ear, causing you to follow his gaze back towards Heeseung. This time, he’s talking to a girl with a bored expression on his face. You can hear the girl scoff offendedly before throwing her drink all over Heeseung’s shirt, walking away with a disgusted look on her face. “Oh…shit.” Jay’s voice drops and he seems to sober up slightly. “What the fuck?” You turn to look at Jay and he just shrugs at you, going back to grab his mixture of rum and mystery juice.

Before he can stop you, you’re breaking away from him and mumbling, “Go back with the boys, I’ll make sure he’s okay.” and then following Heeseung who is now making his way out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You find him in a bathroom attempting to soak up the alcohol with a bath towel, groaning when he realizes it’s not working. You knock softly on the open door and he looks up to make eye contact with you in the mirror, eyes wide and you catch a glimpse of the old Heeseung you use to know. “Hey” you greet him with a soft smile, like you’re trying to prove you’re not a threat, “I seen what happened and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” He nods slowly and moves slightly to let you inside of the bathroom with him.

“M’ fine. She’s just mad I rejected her” His words are mumbled as he keeps dabbing the towel on his shirt, “I’ll just change.” You furrow your eyebrows and he looks up to see your confused face, smiling at what he thinks is a cute reaction. “This is my house.” He reassures you and your eyes widen as you sit on top of the closed toilet, leaning your arm on the sink and placing your chin in your palm. The new angle has Heeseung avoiding eye contact and you smile to yourself at the realization that maybe your friends were right about his never ending crush on you.

“It’s a pretty house.” You say softly and he nods his head. “You live alone?” You think that this might be the most words you’ve ever directly spoken to Heeseung. He shakes his head, seemingly more shy and less verbal than he was the other day. “You don’t have to act tough in front of me you know.” You quirk an eyebrow and he pauses his movements, mentally cursing at himself when he realizes that you had caught on. “You don’t have to act cool.” You’re tapping your nails on the sink and before he can respond you’re speaking again. “I think you’re already cool.” You smile seeing his eyes widen before he clears his throat.

“Um, thank you? Or…I don’t know how to respond to that.” You giggle at his reaction, standing up and now staring at yourself in the mirror. You try not to move your gaze from where you’re fixing your hair, but seeing Heeseung’s doe eyes also watching you through the mirror makes your stomach flip. You see his mouth open before he closes it again, then open a second time as he starts speaking, “Do you wanna help me pick out a new shirt to wear? Not that I care what you think but- well I do care but I don’t-“ “Sure, Hee” you cut him off and he relaxes at your answer, nodding before he leads you out of the bathroom and down the hall to his own room.

As you pass the stairs, you see your three friends pause on the middle step and their jaws drop at the sight of you following Heeseung to his room. You bite your bottom lip to hold back your smile and you widen your eyes in a way to acknowledge that you know what they’re thinking.

The first step into Heeseung’s room is surprisingly refreshing, and not filled with the scent of a man in his early 20s. Instead, it smells almost warm yet fruity and sets you into a comfortable mood. You sit on the edge of his bed and watch as he opens his closet, shuffling through an array of different colored shirts. He grabs a light blue short sleeve and holds it up against himself, turning to see your reaction. You scrunch your nose and shake your head, telling him it doesn’t match the color of his cargo pants.

He models a few more shirts before landing on a black long sleeve, tilting his head to the side as he watches your reaction. You smile softly and nod your head, imaging how handsome he’d look in such a simple yet fitting shirt. He walks towards the bed before looking at you and then quickly looking away.

“Can you like, turn around or something?” He speaks softly, not wanting to hurt your feelings. You flash a pretty smile at him before poking his side. “Why? You shy?” You tease and he’s quick to shake his head and before you can tell him you’re kidding, he’s pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the bed next to you.

Your jaw goes slack and you analyze every part of Heeseung’s torso, too shocked to care if he catches you staring. He’s slim but well defined, with a broad chest and wide shoulders. His body is definitely more mature, but his face as he watches you check him out is the same as it always has been. His big doe eyes watch shyly and his pretty lips softly frown when you stare for too long, quickly getting insecure when he thinks maybe you’re judging him.

He’s quick to throw the new shirt on and you don’t miss how he suddenly caves in on himself, apologizing for being too comfortable. “No, Heeseung don’t apologize.” You swollow dryly, still in shock. “You’re beautiful.” You watch as his ears slightly turn pink and he fights to keep a shy smile off of his lips. You grab his hand so he looks at you and you pat the bed next to you, giggling as he stumbles onto the bed.

“You should be more confident in yourself.” You speak quietly as you play with his fingers of the hand that you’re still holding. “I mean it. You’re beautiful and you don’t need to try hard to show it.” Your words make him slightly perk up, feeling his ego inflate a bit. “Wish you could’ve told me that sooner.” This time he’s the one speaking quietly while he’s looking at your intertwined fingers. “What?” You ask but he’s quick to shake his head like he regrets what he said.

You bring your free hand up to his face, softly cupping his cheek as he looks at you with almost guilt filled eyes. Just as you’re about to ask him to elaborate, a loud pounding shakes his bedroom door that you didn’t even realize he had closed and locked, and he’s quick to stand up and open it. Sunghoon almost falls into the room as the door opens, being forcefully pushed by Jay who is holding a very drunk Jake.

“My apologies lovebirds.” Sunghoon sounds out of breath, seeming as if he maybe had to help Jay carry the body of your other limp friend upstairs. “Jake is already fucked and throwing up everywhere. We got him to the bathroom but he threw up in one of the plant pots in the living room before we could.”

Heeseung sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll have one of my roommates clean that. Thanks for letting me know though.” Sunghoon gives him a quick nod before turning to you and motioning his head towards the door this time. You try not to look disappointed as you get up from the bed and make your way to the doorway. Before you step out, you turn around and plant a quick kiss on Heeseung’s cheek, watching as he stands there stunned before you turn to help carry your friend down the stairs.

✶

You sat with your chin in your palm, staring at the side of Heeseung’s face similarly to the way you did at the party. You could tell he was trying hard to pretend like he’s focusing on what the professor was saying, but you knew his mind was running a mile a minute.

After the party, you couldn’t help but feel excited for the next time you’d see Heeseung, giggling to yourself at night over how cute he looked when he was flustered. Your friends begged you to tell them what had happened when you were alone, and begged harder to know how good he was in bed. You swore on Sunghoon’s life that nothing had happened, which resulted in Sunghoon playing dead after “having a heart attack”.

You somewhat wished that you could answer them, imagining what would’ve happened if they hadn’t interrupted your almost intimate moment with Heeseung. Your eyes grazed over his face, stopping at his lips. Your stomach tingled as you thought of how close you were to kissing him, how innocently he looked at you while you held his face. The urge to be close to him again took over, and you almost subconsciously shifted your foot to rub against his own.

You watched as he stopped breathing for a second, then swallowed harshly which dropped your attention down to his Adam’s apple. The way it bobbed every time he spoke or swallowed made your mouth water, wanting to lean over and take a bite out of his neck. You’re so lost in thought you almost didn’t hear him whisper out to you.

“S-stop staring at me.” He tries to sound stern but stutters and gives up, shaking his head in disappointment in himself. His reaction is cute to you, and you can’t help but reach out and poke his round cheek. ”Can’t help it, you’re too cute.” He blushes lightly and before you can retract your hand fully, he’s grabbing it and intertwining his fingers with yours, then dropping both of your hands into his lap.

Even if it’s not an intimate gesture, the idea of being so close to Heeseung in a public setting has you craving more. You’ve barely gotten to know him but he’s already addicting, and you wonder if he feels the same way towards you. You move your pinky that’s trapped between your hands and his thigh, and you notice how his body stiffens at the most innocent touch. You love the feeling of control you have over him, wanting-needing more.

You rub your pinky against his leg a few more times before letting go of his hand, and instead grabbing his thigh. He lets out a squeak-like noise, eyes widening as he sees Jake peek around from the other side of you, raising an eyebrow before smirking and nudging your side. You nudge him back and tell him to focus, all while rubbing your hand up and down Heeseung’s thigh, occasionally squeezing it lightly. The sight of him breathing heavily makes you squeeze your own thighs together, suddenly feeling very aroused by the shy boy next to you.

You struggle to pay attention for the rest of the class, tuning in when the professor brings up the first major assignment and then tuning back out when he starts talking about his failed marriage. Most of your brain capacity is taken over by the thought of Heeseung, getting giddy over the idea of him simply existing as if he’s not sitting next to you.

You hear Jake audibly groan when class is dismissed, muttering about how sore his neck ended up after Jay fell asleep on his shoulder. As your group walks down the stone pathway Sunghoon takes this opportunity to “massage” Jake’s neck, when in reality, a massage from Sunghoon means he tries to painfully poke his slim fingers into your pressure points.

Jake thrashes around as an attempt to get away from Sunghoon’s fingers, bumping into Jay who then bumps into you, causing you to fall backwards and into Heeseung. You collapse on top of him, pushing the both of you over and landing on his lap like a scene you from a cliché romance movie. “Woah guys!” Jay yells out, covering his eyes as if he’s so bothered by a position he’s in every other night. “Get a room horn dogs.” You just roll your eyes and stand up, reaching your hand out for Heeseung to grab.

As soon as he’s up, he’s quickly turning away and avoiding eye contact. You go to tease his shy behavior until you spot the bulge below his belt which he does a terrible job at hiding. “Oh dude.” Jay is trying not to sound amused, but the way Heeseung bites his lip looks all too much like he’s about to cry. You lean over to Jay and tell him and the boys to keep walking back to your apartment while you attempt to talk to Heeseung.

You softly grab the loose fabric of his hoodie sleeve and turn him to face you, stopping him from walking further but frown when he ends up staring straight at the ground. “Hey, Hee.” You cup his cheek softly like you did the other night and he leans his head into your palm.

You take this as a sign of comfort and slide your hand to his chin, grabbing it lightly and forcing him to look at you. “It’s fine baby, don’t worry about that.” His eyes widen at the nickname and he suddenly feels hot under your touch. “We’re just gonna go back to my apartment. Then maybe I can help you out there, is that okay?” He nods in response and that’s all the reassurance you need to grab his hand and speed walk home.

✶

The second you stepped foot into your house, you yelled for the guys to make themselves comfortable as if they didn’t practically live there with how often they were over, and dragged Heeseung to the kitchen. “You need water? Hungry?” You rummage through your fridge, wanting to take care of Heeseung first and foremost. He just shakes his head, nervous eyes darting around your house as he takes in the new unfamiliar area.

“Don’t need anything?” You ask now sipping out of a water bottle and placing it on the counter next to you. “No” Heeseung’s voice shakes, “Just need you.” He drops his head and you do the same, eyes landing right on his still painful hard-on. You look back up and he quickly looks away, and you realize you may never be able to make eye contact with him but making him flustered will always make you smile.

Taking his hand you lead Heeseung up to your bedroom, not even sparing a glance towards your friends as you hear them cheering and hollering behind your back. The way Heeseung’s hand feels hot and sweaty tells you that he definitely doesn’t have much experience, and it seems to arouse you more knowing he probably doesn’t have much to compare you to.

You open your bedroom door, pulling Heeseung inside before closing it and twisting the lock. You turn around to see Heeseung standing awkwardly, hands playing with each other as he looks at you shyly. Walking up to him, you grab both of his hands and look directly into his eyes and this time he doesn’t try to look away. “If anything makes you uncomfortable you can tell me, mkay?” You speak softly and he takes a deep breath hearing how gentle you’re being with him.

You bring him to sit on the side of your bed and sit next to him as you cup his cheek, a familiar position but in a different setting this time. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” You ask and you see the way his eyes flicker down to your lips before they find their way back to your eyes. “No…but I know you have.” His words make you feel a slight pang of guilt in your heart like you should’ve known you’d eventually end up with him.

“The boys told me about your little crush on me.” His eyes widen but he doesn’t deny it and you smile before shifting your touch on his face and using your thumb to gently play with his bottom lip. “Don’t worry” you move your hand to play with the hair on the nape of his neck and lean in close enough for your noses to touch. You can feel his lips brush yours when you speak again. “I think it’s cute.” You purr and gently close the gap between the two of you.

The first kiss lasts a few seconds before you pull away to check on him, but to your surprise he was pouncing back into you and kissing you harshly before you could say anything. You giggle against his lips and grab his shoulders forcing him off of you and he whines at the loss of contact. “Gentle, we don’t have to rush.” He immediately slumps into himself and you take this as an opportunity to push him down onto your bed.

You straddle his hips and smile down at him while he looks up at you with eyes already glossed over and hazy. You lean down, slotting his bottom lip between yours and gently sucking on it. He whines and both of his hands tightly grip your hips while yours land on his chest. He seems to pick up the idea of kissing easily, slightly speeding up excitedly when you quietly moan into the kiss.

You swipe your tongue across his lip and he parts his lips slightly, which allows your tongue to snake in while his does the same and you finally taste him. He lets out a loud moan and quickly pulls back like he didn’t mean to let it slip but you just pull him back in with a harsh grab of his hair. He moans into your mouth again but this time you feel his hands rocking your hips against his and that’s when you remember how hard he was and how badly he must be waiting for release.

“Let me take care of you, Hee.” You pull away from the kiss and he nods rapidly as if he’s been waiting for you to offer. You dip your head into his neck and gently suck and nip at the warm skin, trailing your lips down towards his collarbone as you hear another soft moan escape. You slide off of him and down onto your knees between his legs, tapping one so he gets the hint to let you between them.

He slowly opens his legs just enough for you to fit between and sits up to watch when you start unbuckling his belt. He sighs when you finally take it off and rub your hands on his thighs comfortingly before making your way towards the button on his jeans. You look up at him before unzipping them, looking for any signs of discomfort but all you’re met with is the sight of his bright pink cheeks and dilated pupils.

As soon as you get his jeans off of him you attach your lips to his bare thighs, peppering light kisses trailing from his knees to the hem of his boxers. You reach up to palm his hard-on and when your hand makes contact with him through his underwear, he lets out a whimper that shoots right to your core.

His hips buck into your hand impatiently and he goes to apologize when you’re suddenly grabbing his waistband and pulling his boxers down. He lifts his hips to help you get them down his legs, his cock springing up and catching your attention. He’s big and you don’t know why you’re so surprised considering how big the rest of him is.

He catches you staring for too long and suddenly covers himself up with his hands. “Is it okay?” He’s asking hesitantly and you instantly coo at how cute he is. “So pretty.” You hum and pull his hands away, placing them on the back of your head instead. He takes the hint and threads his fingers through your hair and tugs softly.

You place one hand on his thigh to steady yourself and softly grab his cock with the other, stroking him slightly before using your thumb to smear his precum across his tip. His hips buck into your hand again and you kiss your teeth and smile up at him. “Look at you.” You kiss the base of his cock before trailing kisses up until you reach his tip, kissing it even softer and licking the precum off of your lips. “Taste so good.” Your words seem to affect him strongly as he throws his head back and lets out a breathy whine.

“Please, Y/N, Please.” You’re not exactly sure what he’s begging for but you take it as encouragement to finally press your tongue flat against his tip, then guide yourself down to take more of him into your mouth. “Oh God .” He’s moaning louder this time and you know for sure that your friends can hear him from downstairs.

You pull off of him before immediately sinking back down, taking all of him in your mouth this time. The feeling of him sliding down your throat makes you moan around him and you feel his body jerk at the new sense of stimulation. You bob your head and feel the way his fingers tighten the grip he has on your hair, more moans and whimpers slipping from his lips.

Each sound he makes arouses you more and you don’t even realize that you’ve positioned yourself over his foot before you’re grinding down, moaning at the contact between his foot and your core. He opens his eyes and looks down at you in shock, not realizing how arousing the view from above was. The angle gives him access from the top of your head to your butt, watching how your seducing eyes flutter closed when you take him down your throat and the way your hips move fluidly while you grind down onto his foot.

You open your eyes and pull off of him, jerking him in your hand, eyes wide as you watch his brows furrow with flushed cheeks and his breathing turns uneven. “D-don’t look at me like that.” He sounds so close and you know he’s trying to hold back and impress you by not cumming too fast. “You sound so sexy.” You swirl your tongue around his tip while keeping eye contact with him. “Fuck.” He’s breathing harder and you know he’s seconds away from finishing.

“You going to cum for me baby?” The nickname pushes him right over the edge as he takes one last deep breath before letting out the sweetest whine, and you take the opportunity to take him back into your mouth, just in time to feel his cum spurting down your throat. You continue to suck until he’s lifting you off of him by your hair, and your mouth leaves his cock with an audible pop.

You lick any remaining release from your lips and make your way to stand up as he tucks himself back into his boxers and slide his jeans back up his legs. When he finishes buttoning them you’re climbing back onto his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck.

You kiss him softly, half surprised by the fact that he let you as if he didn’t care that you just had him finish in your mouth, and half aroused at the same time. “You did so good, Hee.” You praise him as you pull away and you don’t miss the way he still blushes at your compliments. “What about you?” He whispers against your lips and you give him a quick peck before pulling away to cup his face. “What about me?” You ask and he looks down at his lap and mumbles almost too quietly for you to hear. “Wanna make you feel good too.” Your heart warms at his words and you shake your head in response before kissing him again. “Taking care of you is enough for me, don’t worry about that.” Your voice is stern but caring and he nods before tucking his face in your your neck.

“I could go for a nap, you wanna join me?” You pick his face up and kiss the tip of his nose and he nods, letting you climb off of his lap and into your bed, then lays next to you as you tuck yourself into the sheets.

You turn to your side and he lays behind you, pulling you close with his arms wrapped around you, inhaling the scent of your perfume. Your breathing syncs with each other’s and you soon hear his soft snores coming from behind you, and you smile to yourself, wishing you could stay like this forever.

✶

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that it’s cold. Your bed is no longer kept warm from the heat of Heeseung’s body against yours, and your heart breaks a little at the idea of him leaving you already.

You’re not usually the type of person to keep contact after a hookup, but something about your relationship with Heeseung feels different. Even through the little time you’ve gotten to know each other, you feel like it’s been years- like the years you could’ve gotten to know Heeseung in if it weren’t for conflicting schedules.

Making your way downstairs you can hear your friends’ voices chatting away until they hear your heavy, sleepy footsteps. Rounding the corner, you find all three boys in the kitchen with Jay cooking ramen while Sunghoon and Jake sit at the table sipping on bottles of beer.

“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” Jay pats your shoulder as you grunt in response, opening the fridge and taking a long sip of cold water. “It’s like 5pm.” You rasp out as you take a seat sitting next to your friends. “It’s 8pm.” Sunghoon chuckles before taking a swig of his beer and turning to you, smoothing out your bedhead.

“What!?” Your eyes widen and you look around frantically before Sunghoon places his hand atop yours, pulling your attention back to him. “Relax, Heeseung left not too long ago- said he had something to get back to at home.” The three boys could see your frown forming and noticed the your eyes stayed glued to the table.

“Don’t worry, he left this.” Jake slaps a sticky note on the table in front of you, winking before getting up and grabbing another beer. You examine the sticky note and your jaw drops into a long ‘O’ shape. “He gave me his number!?” You squeal and almost jump from your seat, knocking your knees against Sunghoon’s.

“God, how are you so hyper after waking up.” He says it more as a statement than a question and you just give him a sarcastic smile before turning towards Jake instead. “Where did he leave it? Because I know he wouldn’t just leave it on the table for anyone to see.” You narrow your eyes at Jake in suspicion and he quickly darts his eyes away nervously.

“Jake.” You say his name sternly and you notice how he tenses and takes another sip of beer. “Jake were you snooping again?” You barely get your sentence out as he’s already defending himself. “I wasn’t I swear! When he left I went in your room to check on you and make sure you were okay and…clothed.”

Your face morphs into a confused disgust, “Pervert! Why would you care if I had clothes on or not!?” His mouth opens in shock as he shakes his head rapidly. “God, Y/N don’t make me say it!” He’s suddenly covering his face to hide his embarrassment while you’re sent into deeper confusion. “Say what!?” You’re standing up and hovering over the table, irritated at how difficult Jake is being.

“I wanted to make sure he didn’t just up and leave after fucking you! I wanted to make sure you actually had proper aftercare and he didn’t just cum and go!” Jake is slamming his hands on the table and you hear Sunghoon snicker beside you at the pun Jake may or may not have realized he used.

“What? Why would he do that?” You’re lowering your voice this time and it cracks softly while you speak. Jake sighs and taps his fingertips against the glass of his beer bottle. “Because every time you’re actually interested in a guy-more than just hookup, you’re left hurt when they leave not wanting more.” He’s making eye contact with you now and you slowly sit back down.

“Well” you start speaking but your voice comes out soft and weary. “How do you know that I want more than a hookup with him?” You immediately regret asking, knowing well that the boys can see right through you. “You wouldn’t just give a random hookup a blowjob and not expect anything in return.” Jake is giving you a “duh” face and you just gasp in shock.

“He told you!?” You’re perking up in your seat and you see Sunghoon cover his ears when you yell. “Are you never not yelling?” Sunghoon is wincing at his now ringing ears and you just mumble an apology before turning your attention back to Jake. “More like he forced the poor guy to confess.” Jay is setting the fresh ramen on the table and you roll your eyes at his response.

“Don’t tell me you threatened him.” Jake shakes his head with an offended look on his face. “Of course not! I was going to but I could see how shy he looked. He just told me you sucked him off and took a nap after.” Jake stuffs his mouth with food like a caveman after speaking, giving you time to reflect on their interaction.

“Why did you come check on me if he told you we didn’t have sex?” It’s your turn to stuff your face and Jake wipes his mouth with the back of his hand like a toddler. “You know I don’t quite trust him yet. Just had to make sure he wasn’t lying.” He gives you soft, caring eyes and you feel your heart warm at the sense of comfort. “Thank you, Jake.” You smile at him but it drops he shakes his head.

“Wasn’t just me.” He nods his head towards Sunghoon and Jay who pause suddenly. “They kept him from leaving while I checked on you.” The other two boys nod and first bump over the bowls of ramen. “I know you guys are caring and brotherly like, but he probably thought he was going to die.” You’re giggling at the thought of a wide-eyed Heeseung standing stiff against your wall with your two scariest looking friends staring him down.

Sunghoon laughs, almost choking on his ramen while Jay slides him a bottle of water to help soothe his throat. “He did! It was hilarious but I gave him a nice pat on the shoulder and he eased up a bit.” Sunghoon was speaking in between coughs and you rub his back, encouraging him to not irritate his burning throat more.

“Don’t worry about his phone number, I already called it while Jake was checking on you and his phone buzzed in his pocket so we know it’s not a fake pitty number.” Jay watches for your reaction and when speaks again. “So now I have his number in case of an emergency.” He teases and you slump in your seat with a heavy sigh.

“Geez, okay dad.” You tease him back and he grabs the sticky note, sliding it over and sticking it onto the table in front of you. “Now text him.”

✶

When you texted Heeseung and he responded right away, you weren’t quite expecting to stay up all night talking to him. You had asked him to call you around 1am and you giggled at how the read symbol stayed under your message for a solid minute until he was calling you. Even over the phone he would stutter when you ask him a slightly suggestive question or subtly flirt with him.

You had spent hours sending each other old photos from when you were younger, some even from the yearbook as you pointed out the different clubs and sports teams you were in. You laughed together when you pointed out how different you had both become, realize how long it has been since you had first met Heeseung. You had sent him pictures from your social media, bragging about the fun trips you took or the friends you had made.

You sat with a soft smile on your face when you sent him a picture of your three friends posing with bright smiles and bright silver hair. You had explained to him that during the past summer, you and your friends weren’t able to leave the city like usual so you all decided to dye your hair silver for fun.

Despite not seeing anyone over the summer, Heeseung can recall seeing your friend group return back to school with faded dirty blonde hair. You brag about how well you did for box dye, going on about how all four of you looked so sexy and that you think Jake’s looked the coolest because he kept the tips of his hair black. Heeseung gets quiet on the other line and you’d think he had fallen asleep if it weren’t for him suddenly clearing his throat and changing the topic, something about his older brother graduating a high ranking university soon.

When you both got quiet after a while and heard the soft snores coming from his side of the call, you whispered a goodnight to him and had a mental debate with yourself to decide whether or not you should hang up. You decided against the idea and fell asleep to the sound of Heeseung’s breathing.

You woke up to find that Heeseung ended the call not long after you fell asleep, but when you read his good morning text your heart warmed.

“‘Good morning beautiful, I’m sorry I hung up early last night, my phone died haha -sweating emoji- can’t wait to see you in class’.” A blinding smile was plastered on your face while you read the text out loud. You met up with your three friends to walk to class, texting the groupchat in all capital letters that you had something important to show them.

“Cringe.” Sunghoon scrunched his face in disgust, soon dropping it into a pout after you pinch him harshly. “It’s okay Hoonie I know you’re just jealous.” You tease, wrapping your hands around his arm and pulling him against you. “Stop it Y/N! You’re scaring the hoes.” Sunghoon pushed you off of him and into Jay who catches you with an arm around your waist.

“What hoes, Hoon? You lost your virginity last year and haven’t been with a girl since.” Jake is the one to tease this time, bringing up a funny memory for your friend group. “Oh my God that’s right! Were you that bad in bed that not one girl in this school wants to fuck you?” You giggle at your continuous attacks on your friend as he just gives an offended glare, opening up his mouth to speak before he’s interrupted.

“I think it’s because he has some slut clinging onto him and two other guys 24/7.” The four of you stop walking and turn to the closest bench, finding a group of girls with evil smirks resting on their too-perfect faces.

“What did you just say?” You harshly rip Jay’s arm off of your waist and make your way up to the friend group, your own following behind you. “Oh, did I hit a nerve?” The same girl fake pouts at you while her minions giggle to themselves and you clench your fists at the sneakiness lingering in her voice. “No but I’m about to hit you in the fucking face-“ You’re cut off by Jay who is covering you mouth with his hand and pulling you backwards towards your friends.

“Okayyy! I’m going to stop you right there, thank you.” Jay announces loudly, anyone who wasn’t aware of the situation before was definitely aware now with the amount of heads that turned in your direction. With a quick turn and an arm over your shoulder, you’re guided away from the group of girls who watch you leave with the same smirks that haven’t left their lips.

“Jay you’re embarrassing me.” You’re trying to shove Jay’s heavy arm off of you, which only results in you being tugged closer towards his body. “Oh, I’m the one embarrassing you?” He shoots you a disbelieving expression and then shakes his head. “You were about to rip her eyelashes off!” Jay pokes you in the temple as a sign of playfulnesses, showing you that he’s not actually that mad at you.

“Yeah I would’ve ripped out her falsies and then her real ones.” You finally wiggle out of Jay’s reach and stand on the opposite side of Jake, using his body as a barrier. Jake now looks at you and covers one of his eyes with his hand, muttering an ‘ouch’ and you just nod as if you were telling him that’s exactly why that was your chosen threat.

“Alright relax, I don’t think Heeseung would want his girl getting into fights over some rumors.” Sunghoon shoots you a somewhat reassuring glance along with his words. You just sigh and can’t help but wonder if they’re actually more than just rumors. “Speak of the devil.” Jake mumbles just loud enough for your group to hear as you open the door to your music lecture.

All four of you stop in your tracks at the sight of a bright sliver head of hair sitting at the seat next to your own. “Is that…” Sunghoon trails off in awe as Jake’s jaw goes slack “No way.” His thick accented voice dropping to an almost inaudible whisper. “Heeseung?” You walk ahead of the group, laying a hand on Heeseung’s shoulder to catch his attention.

The boy turns and his eyes light up immediately at the sight of you. “Your hair…” you trail off as you reach up to run a hand through his hair. “Do you…do you like it?” You can hear the neediness for reassurance in his voice, like he only cared about what you think. “Yeah” you breathe out as if you were scared to express your true feelings, “You look sexy.”

His ears visibly darken to a deep red color, taken aback at your forwardness. “Damn right he does!” You hear Jake hype up Heeseung as he offers a fist bump before sitting in his seat next to you.

Throughout the lecture, everything your professor said went in one ear and out the other while your main focus was Heeseung. The way his new hair complimented his complexion perfectly was almost inhumane, and you felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Of course, you can’t just climb onto his lap and hold him down while you eat his face in the middle of class, so you opt to do what you do best with Heeseung; make him nervous.

After befriending and become more than just friends with the boy, you’ve learned just how sensitive he is everywhere. Any time you rest a hand even on his knee or slightly brush an arm against his, he stiffens and looks down expectantly. So, with the desire to feel something, anything, you softly place your hand on his thigh and lightly tap your fingers. Through your peripheral vision can see Heeseung peering down at you through his own, and you grow impatient with his lack of common response.

As you decide to trail your hand up his thigh, he suddenly grips your wrist almost painfully tight just before you reach the crotch of his pants. You look up annoyed at your failed attempt of teasing him and lock eyes as he shakes his head, as if he’s warning you, even daring you to try again. Placing your hand back in your own lap, he focuses back on the lecture and tries not to react to the way you’re suddenly shifting in your chair.

“Is it just me or is it a bit hot in here guys?” You whisper to your surrounding friends as you fan yourself as an attempt to make your question sound genuine. Sunghoon leans over the table and gives you a stern look before kissing his teeth and scolding you, “I told you that sweater was too thick for this heat! But no! You never listen to me!”. He’s whining in an aggressive whisper but you ignore him and grab the hem of your knitted sweater and bring it over your head.

As your thin black, very cropped tank top is now visible, you can’t help but smirk at Heeseung’s wandering eyes. You notice the way his prominent Adam’s Apple bobs when he swallows harshly, and the way he quickly directs his eyes away when you catch him staring down the area of your back.

“What’s wrong, Hee? You getting hot too?” You lean toward him on your desk, crossing your arms under your chest as the pressure enhances your cleavage. “Just a bit.” He states blankly, keeping his eyes staring straight towards the front of the room. You watch as his eyes flick down towards the watch on his wrist but before you can also check the time, he’s grabbing his backpack.

Just as you’re about to ask where he’s going, the bell rings and he shoots up from his seat. He collects his laptop and notebook quickly, and you wonder if you maybe pushed him too far if he’s that eager to get away from you. He catches you off guard as he suddenly grabs your backpack, also putting your things away before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the class before your friends could follow.

✶

After becoming closer to Heeseung both emotionally and sexually, you were 99% sure that you could predict his every move. From the way he stiffens to your small touches or trails his eyes from your own down to your lips every time you speak, nothing he does ever surprises you anymore.

However, now that he finally snapped and pulled you into a room not far from your lecture, you’re suddenly questioning the soft, shy, submissive nature that you may have mistaken him for.

Pulling you into the indoor hallway behind him, you have no time to adjust as he’s pulling you into another room and you’re suddenly pressed against the closed door. Everything happens so fast, you’re almost unable to register the feeling of his lips attacking your neck, licking and sucking everywhere so that no area is left dry.

In fear of his sudden change in demeanor, you place your palms on his chest and push him off of you, just enough to look him in the eyes. “Heeseung, what are you doing?” You’re whispering harshly, afraid that anyone passing by in the hallway may hear.

“What am I doing?” He takes a small step closer but it’s still enough to have the tips of your shoes now touching his. “What are you doing? Touching me in class like that? Undressing yourself like that?” Your lip quirks up, realizing that your earlier teasing was working. “I told you, it was getting hot in there.” You look up at him innocently, softly running a hand through his freshly dyed hair.

“And I couldn’t help myself. Couldn’t keep my hands off of you after seeing this.” You harshly tug on his hair on the last word and he lets out a whimper, but he’s quick to keep himself from falling back into the same headspace. Unsatisfied with his reaction, you pull his hair harder and this time he bends down to crash his lips against yours.

He spins you around, walking you across the room until the back of your knees hit something and he pushes you down onto what you realize is a couch. He takes his backpack off of his back and sets it on the chair in front of the sound-mixing board, while you lay comfortable on the couch. Laying sideways on the furniture puts you in the perfect position to grab onto Heeseung’s belt, pulling him on top of you to quickly reconnect your lips.

Heeseung wastes no time, putting one hand on your waist and the other by your head to hold himself up as he pins you into the sofa. Using his advantage of being on top, he keeps you pinned onto the cushions as he rolls his hips into yours, groaning at the feeling of his hard-on making contact with your core. You struggle to kiss him back as your mouth parts at the new feeling, and he takes this opportunity to easily slide his tongue into your mouth, explore everywhere with his wet muscle.

You moan loudly as he keeps rolling his hips into you, and he seems to realize that you had both forgotten you’re in a public area. Without pulling away, he grabs onto your thighs and lifts you up, walking further into the room and up to another door next to the mixing board. One of his hands leaves your thighs and you hear a few clicking noises but before you can open your eyes to check what he’s doing, he’s opening opening the door and walking you inside of the small booth.

Pulling the chair by the microphone closer to you, he sets you down onto it and goes back to close the door. “This room is soundproof.” He walks back to you and drops to his knees, gripping your thighs and forcing them open before he settles between them. “Means you can be as loud as you want.” He’s rubbing his palms on your thighs the same way you did to him, then moves his hands to the button of your jeans.

“Can I?” He only speaks two words but you nod your head almost embarrassingly fast, lifting your hips so he can pull your pants down with ease. You recently started wondering how Heeseung would react to seeing you in your underwear, but nothing could prepare you for the way he grips your hips, pulling you almost all the way out of your seat. He grabs both of your ankles, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders and you have to contain the squeal you want to let out as he bites down onto one of your thighs.

Licking over the bite mark, his hand comes up to slap the side of your ass as punishment. “I told you already, pretty.” He switches to the other thigh, biting down again and leaving a matching bite mark before soothing the pain with his tongue for the second time today. “You can be loud.” With his repeated permission, you whine at the feeling of him pressing a soft kiss to your clit through your underwear.

“Please Hee, I need it.” You grind your hips forward into nothing but air and grip the sides of the chair tight. “Yeah? Want me to eat this pretty pussy?” His hot breath fans over your covered cunt as he speaks, and you gasp when he’s shoving his face further, inhaling your sweet scent.

You watch as he licks a long stripe up your slit, still covered by your panties before he pulls them to the side frustratingly slow. Your whines turn into moans as he licks under stripe, the time without the thin panties in the way. He wastes no time, diving into your core and licking, sucking, slurping everywhere and everything.

Your thighs shake and clench around his head and he moans into your core as you reach with one hand to grab his hair. The same hair that caused this mess, the same hair that you coincidentally showed him an inspiring picture of the night before. You couldn’t think too deeply about it as one of his hands is reaching up to your tank top, pulling the front down along with the cups of your bra.

You throw your head back as the cold air hits your nipples, but is soon replaced by Heeseung’s warm and wet mouth. You look back down to see his lips attached to one of your sensitive buds while his eyes are wide and expecting as he looks up at you. Just the image of the doe-eyed boy you always knew makes another whine escape from your throat.

Heeseung is doing great as his tongue plays with your nipple and his fingers rub circles on your clit, but you need more. “Hee” you whimper and he blinks in response. “Use your fingers, baby. Inside me—please.” You roll your hips forward while Heeseung’s hand stops the previous movements and you come to the realization that he hasn’t actually done this before.

Lifting your hand that isn’t in his hair, you grab his wrist and guide him, rubbing his fingers over your slick before letting him push one into you. Even just one finger was enough to make your back arch, his large hands reaching places your own couldn’t. He experimentally curls his finger, grinning at the way your eyebrows furrow and your mouth goes slack. He continues his movements for a few seconds, then adds a second finger and you loose all ability to think.

With your back arching off the chair and your head falling back, Heeseung takes this as a sign to thrust and curl his fingers faster, attaching his lips back to your hard nipple while your own hand releases his wrist to play with the other sensitive bud. Heeseung’s lips leave your nipple to kiss down your body, making his way back to your cunt, licking and sucking almost painfully on your clit, all while speeding up the pace of his fingers inside of you.

His new rough touches send you over the edge, gripping the back of his head tightly, keeping it pressed against you while you grind yourself on his wet tongue. The sight of him sitting between your legs is so overwhelming, causing a knot to form in your lower belly. With his fingers pumping inside of you, mouth open with his pretty pink tongue sticking out for you to use for your own pleasure, and his somehow still innocent looking eyes watching your face as you lose yourself, you feel yourself becoming lightheaded as you come undone.

As soon as you think you’re having a regular orgasm, Heeseung wraps his lips around your clit again, sucking harshly. That’s all it took for you to squeeze your eyes shut, a loud moan of Heeseung’s name escaping your throat as you feel your lower half become warm and wet while Heeseung continues sucking and plunging his fingers in and out of you.

The overwhelming feeling doesn’t stop or even weaken and you open your eyes and look down, now realizing you’re squirting for the first time in your life. Watching as your juices seem to gush out of you, you can’t take your eyes off of Heeseung’s now soaking wet face. His eyes are glossy and shining, while his nose, cheeks, and chin are glistening from your squirt as he finally pulls away once you’ve come down from your high.

“Wow…” Heeseung seems dazed as he can’t take his eyes off of your leaking hole. You grab his chin with your fingers, leading him up to your face to capture his wet lips into a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. “I’ve never squirted before, Hee.” You pull back to wipe his sticky wet cheeks and you swear you feel them heat up from your words.

“Guess we both had firsts today.” He pecks your lips and smiles at you and your heart aches at the proud look on his face. Feeling the urge to reassure him, you pull him into a hug and hover your lips by his ear. “M’ so proud of you, baby. Did so good for me.” He whines at your compliment, pulling away from the hug to bring you back into a bruising kiss.

✶

“So you’re telling me” Jake pokes a finger into your arm before before pointing it back towards himself, “That when Heeseung took you to the studio room, you just talked?” Jake shoves a fry into his mouth and sends you a disbelieving look when you simply nod your head. “Bullshit.” Jay is speaking from across from you after taking a giant bite out of his burger.

You roll your eyes when you catch a glimpse of his chewed up food and kick his leg under the table, “You’re disgusting.” Jay returns your kick causing a sharp pain in your shin and you mumble curses at him while rubbing the sore spot. Jay then sends a few verbal hits towards you after he finishes chewing his bite, “You’re one to talk! I’m starting to think you have a exhibitionism kink with how often you and your boyfriend get it on in public.”

You grab your cup and bite your straw in annoyance, avoiding eye contact as you’re ashamed your friend might be right. “First of all, he’s not my boyfriend, and second of all, we’re not ‘getting it on’ in public, I just sucked him off that one time at home and he only returned the favor in the studio room.” You quickly realize your mistake when Jake is slamming a heavy palm on the table next to you and practically screeching in your ear.

“Ha! I knew it! There’s no way your corruptive ass is able to hold a private conversation with a shy guy like Heeseung without pouncing on him!” On the other side of the table, Jay fist bumps Jake while Sunghoon is choking on his milkshake, eyes tearing up as it comes out of his nose. You scrunch your face up in disgust while handing a few napkins over to your poor friend.

“Whatever guys, so what if I’m sexually active with him? It’s not like he’s the first guy I’ve been with.” You once again bite down on the flimsy plastic of your straw, staring down at your fingers that are tapping on the bright red coloring of the old burger joint’s table.

Jay points a finger up in a “matter of fact” manner as he tilts his head in a playful way. “You know he’s the first guy you’ve been with that actually has a massive crush on you though. Just saying, obsession is not a joke and you know how dangerous some guys could be when they’re crazy about a girl.”

Jay’s word make you rethink your whole relationship with Heeseung, realizing that most of the guys you’ve been with were just casual hookups or friends with benefits situations. The types of relationships that took mutual agreements and setting boundaries in order to keep until eventually one of you got bored with the other. With Heeseung, you hadn’t discussed those boundaries and just assumed that’s what he had wanted. Now, with Jay shooting you a knowing look, you realize you may have fucked up.

“Well…what if he doesn’t want a relationship? I could just be a booty call to him.” You shrug and try to ignore the way Sunghoon and Jake both start rambling about how naive and oblivious you seem to be. “Y/N, I love you and all, but I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being a dumb bitch or being in denial.” Sunghoon pats your hand in a comforting way while the other two boys nod their heads in agreement. “Yeah you’ve seen how he looks at you! No man looks at his booty call with heart eyes.” Jake pokes your temple and you swat his hand away.

“He could also just be looking at me with ‘fuck me’ eyes.” You retort what you think is a reasonable answer, until Jay is speaking from across from you again. “But it’s Heeseung, I don’t think he’s even held a girl’s hand before. ‘Fuck me’ eyes could be a big deal to him if he finds sex more than just casual. He’s not like you and you know that.” Sunghoon wipes his fake tears and pats Jay on the back like a proud father, “I think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

Jay rolls his eyes and takes the last bite of his burger, uncomfortable with his friend who is now pinching his cheeks. Next to you, Jake places his now empty cup down and turns to you. His eyes are burning holes into your face as you avoid eye contact, not wanting to continue the discussion any longer. “I know you’re internally freaking out right now.” Jake nudges your shoulder with his own, “How about you sleep on it and maybe talk to Heeseung about it tomorrow?”

He gives you his best supportive look and you feel grateful that at least one of your friends is actually trying to be helpful. You slowly nod your head, lost in your thoughts of Heeseung and you can’t help but feel nervous about having such a serious conversation with him.

“Alright!” Jay claps his hands and scares you out of your thoughts. “Let’s hit the road!” He quickly stands up from the table and Sunghoon squeezes out of the booth following him with a snort, “Okay what are you, a dad?” Your smile at Sunghoon’s comment quickly turns into a frown of disgust as Jay corrects, “Actually, it’s dad-dy, thank you very much.”

As Sunghoon pushes the doors of the restaurant wide open mimicking a grand exit, all four of you stop in your tracks as a very tall, silver headed and doe eyed boy is also stopping. “Heeseung? What are you doing here?” You curse yourself for asking such a stupid question, but you’re caught off guard by the boy’s perky answer. “Oh! I um- I was just here to pick up my cousin. He needed a ride home.” He’s looking at the floor and kicking the small pebbles, rolling them under his shoe.

Your mouth makes an ‘o’ shape and you nod, suddenly uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere. “What about you guys?” Heeseung also asks a stupid question and you notice the way he disappointedly shakes his head at himself. “We stayed at school a little later to work on our projects so we just decided to get dinner here before they drop me off at home.” You glance shyly at the taller boy, still in awe of how angelic he looks with his new hair.

“Oh you must be tired then! I’ll let you get home, uh, see you tomorrow?” He stutters out and you smile to yourself. “Yeah, Hee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You walk by him and pat his arm as your friends follow behind you. “That was so painful to watch.” Sunghoon shivers, which in return gets him demoted to the back seat of the car while you steal the front.

✶

“You’re not gonna kill me are you?”

Heeseung wishes he was joking but after you sent him the infamous ‘can we talk?’ text, he couldn’t stop sweating and overthinking what you could’ve possibly wanted to talk about. “If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t be meeting up with you under a giant tree in the middle of campus.” You giggle as you sit down on the old bench, patting the spot next to you.

As Heeseung sits down, you can’t help the small blush that heats up your cheeks at how close he decided to sit. Close enough that he’s suddenly wrapping an arm around your shoulder and tugging you to sit with your thigh pressing against his. You turn to him with wide eyes and he immediately caves into himself, snaking his arm back towards his own body.

“Sorry- I just thought maybe you’d like that but I guess I should’ve known not to…considering I can guess the reason we’re here.” He mumbles while watching his hands fidget with each other in his lap, and you feel a pang in your heart at his sudden drop in confidence. “No, Hee.” You grab his anxious hands, holding both of them in between yours, “I did want to talk to you about that, but not for the reason you think.”

He visibly perks up, eyes bright and hopeful but his teeth are still nibbling nervously on his bottom lip. “I know we kind of started off fast- with this whole thing between us…” He nods attentively as you speak, “and I know I never really asked you what we are.” Heeseung’s heart beats faster with every word you speak.

“That’s just something I’m used to- having no solid labels on relationships but I understand if that’s not what you want.” Heeseung gulps harshly as he lets you ramble, already knowing his answer to your upcoming question. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I genuinely really like you, and if you wanna-“ Your confession is cut short by the annoying ringing of a phone, and you break eye contact with Heeseung to check who is interrupting your rant.

Of course, it’s Sunghoon screeching on the other line. “Y/N! The boys and I need help with our projects so we’re coming to you! Where are you? Under the tree? We’ll check there for you.” Before you can speak a word, Sunghoon is cutting off your argument, “But-“ “No buts! We’re on our way.”

You give Heeseung an apologetic smile that quickly falls when your friends are already walking up to you. “Do you seriously need my help? You guys have taken more music classes than me!” You stand up and dust off any dirt left on your clothes. “Well…we just missed you and wanted to work on our projects together.” Jay is wrapping an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder and the younger groans. “I don’t know why this guy lied, we know you would’ve agreed either way.”

You roll your eyes and sling your backpack onto your shoulder, obviously annoyed at your friends who interrupted your moment with Heeseung, once again. “You’re lucky I love you guys, and I haven’t even started my project yet.” You walk away as your four friends follow behind, tripping over each others feet.

The five of you make it into the music building, making your way through the indoor hallway and decide to work in one of the recording studios. You shyly glance at Heeseung to see him already looking at you. “What?” He leans over towards you once you sit on the studio couch and pull out your laptops. “Flashbacks?” His hand finds your thigh and you’re quick to pull it off, just in time for your other three friends to turn around and start a conversation.

“So what is the project about anyways?” Jake had obviously not been listening during the past few lectures. Jay sets his laptop down next to Jake’s, opening up his notebook which was filled with different information on music theory and genres. “Just experiment with the tools and see what comes easiest to you. Personally, I find alternative rock a fitting style for myself.”

You look over at Heeseung and find him already staring at you, something unrecognizable lingering in his eyes. “Hee?” You nudge him and brush a strand of hair off of his face. “You okay?” Your voice seems to snap him out, and he blinks rapidly before apologizing. “Was just zoning out I guess.” He starts taping away on his own laptop and you giggle at the Toy Story picture he has saved as his background.

“What about you Heeseung? Did you start yet?” Jay asks while reclining in his chair, arms stretching above his head as his shirt lifts up to show a sliver of honey skin. “Uhh, yeah I did start actually. I only have a few bars done though.” Heeseung doesn’t move his gaze from his computer screen as he chews on his bottom lip, a nervous habit you’ve picked up on.

“Play it.” Jay motions towards Heeseung, giving him an expecting look. “Alright…” Heeseung still hasn’t taken his eyes off of his screen, adjusting the volume before pressing play. A deep bass is heard with a few vocal effects added in, and you’re all nodding your heads to the rhythm when your heart drops at a sudden beat change.

Within the first ten seconds of the song, a moan of Heeseung’s name is heard loud and clear, followed by a beat signaling to lead the song into a more R&B feel. You pause, a chill crawling up your spine as you look over at Heeseung who has a proud smirk relaxed onto his face.

The song ends and he presses the space bar to pause it, quickly glancing over to the four of you to find your reactions. “So?” He relaxes back on the couch that suddenly feels too small for the two of you. “What do you guys think?” He’s overly cocky, something you have yet to get used to. “It’s really good…” Jake is speaking hesitantly while looking next to him at Sunghoon, who just nods his head in agreement. “But…what was that at the beginning?” His question makes your heart pound, knowing exactly what he’s referring to.

“What? My producer tag?” Heeseung has a causal smile on his lips. “It’s sexy isn’t it? Of course I had some help.” He places an arm around your shoulder and winks at you, but you’re quick to shove him off of you and run out of the room.

You don’t get far when you hear the studio door opening, and then the loud shut of the door echoing through the music building hallway. “What’s wrong, pretty?” Heeseung lands a hand on your shoulder, spinning you around shoving you against the wall. He places his forearm above your head, leaning in uncomfortably close. You have tears pouring down your cheeks but your face is stone cold.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He leans in and his nose brushes against yours. One of his hands is suddenly grabbing your chin, turning your face so his nose is nudging your cheek bone instead. You squeeze your eyes shut and feel his lips gently kiss your jaw. Heeseung then sticks his tongue out, licking a long stripe from your jaw to your eye, collecting the freshly fallen tear that had collected on your cheek.

The sensation of his warm, wet muscle dragging along your face makes your stomach turn in both disgust and something you’d be too ashamed to admit. “You wanted to be mine, no?” He brings your face back to look at him and presses a soft kiss to your quivering bottom lip. “Wanted everyone to know you’re mine?” His words make heat pool in your lower stomach and you subconsciously close your legs tight, rubbing your thighs together softly.

“Look at you.” He coos, running a hand through your hair. “You like this, hm? So dirty.” His words make you nod instinctively and he smiles at how easily you fold for him. “Why don’t we get back in there, don’t want to worry your boys.” You nod instinctively again, bringing a hand up to wipe your face and walk away as Heeseung follows behind.

You enter the room hesitantly, cheeks burning from embarrassment as your friends’ eyes are filled with worry. You avoid eye contact when sitting back down, immediately burning holes into the screen of your laptop so you didn’t have to face the awkward atmosphere. Heeseung sits next to you and places a hand on your thigh, fingers gently tapping to a random rhythm.

You let out a shaky breath and try to change the subject, hoping to get everyone’s eyes off of you. “Who wants to play theirs next?”

✶

Resentment

Anger

Shame

You couldn’t shake the embarrassment you felt for the rest of the day. Hanging out with your friends never felt so humiliating, even after you had gotten home and relaxed in bed, you couldn’t help the tears from falling. Yet, you weren’t finding yourself angry at Heeseung. Just angry at how embarrassed you had felt afterwards.

Of course, with such a close friend group there wasn’t such thing of hiding secretes or being “too extreme”. Your friends were your everything and had been there with you throughout all of your relationships, hearing every single detail from your side.

However, having your sexuality exposed by someone else felt humiliating and destructive. You knew Heeseung hadn’t necessarily meant to humiliate you in front of your friends, despite not knowing the actual reason for him using such a private moment in such a light manner.

No matter how embarrassed you felt, you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset at him. Even after you cried yourself to sleep that night, and even after you had spent the whole next day sulking in bed. Eventually your friends were sick of pitying you and decided to plan a movie night at your apartment; showing up with snacks and stacks of movies, grabbing you by the ankles and dragging you out of bed.

As you sat on the couch while your friends argued over which movie to watch first, you couldn’t help but zone out with your head flooding with thoughts of Heeseung. As if your brains Bluetooth connected, Jake leaned over to comfort you, something you’d never get tired of.

“I know you’re thinking about him.” He sends you a firm glance, communicating that you have no reason in lying. “Do you miss him?” You nod insecurely at his question, ashamed to admit it. “Why don’t you invite him? I know we’re doing this to get your mind off of him but maybe it’ll help if you just talk to him.” Jake rubs your back gently and you take a deep breath, releasing it as you whisper in agreement.

Now, you’re sat with Heeseung on your bed while your friends watch horror movies and eat the snacks they brought for you. “I don’t want them to interrupt us again so I’m just gonna get straight to the point.” You glance at Heeseung before looking away towards a poster on your wall. “I like you a lot, Hee. And I know you feel the same, and I know you want us to be exclusive. So, I think we have to set some boundaries and know exactly what we want in a relationship if you really want to be with me.” Heeseung nods along to everything you say, and you start listing off the expectations you have for him as he does the same.

You haven’t realized how much time had passed while talking to Heeseung until you notice the silence coming from downstairs, and you peek your head out of your door to hear three different sets of snores coming from your friends. You sit back on your bed and take note of how comfortable Heeseung looks next to you.

Of course, this isn’t the first time you had Heeseung in your room sitting on your bed. However, it was the first time you had gone this long with him on your bed without lunging at him. That didn’t last long though as you’re suddenly climbing onto his lap, pressing your lips harshly against his.

“Missed you so much.” You’re mumbling against his lips and he’s pulling back to laugh at you. “It’s only been like two days, you’re that obsessed with me?” His teasing makes you blush and duck your head into his neck. “You’ve literally liked me since high school and I’m the one obsessed with you?” You’re arguing back and now Heeseung is the one blushing.

Instead of responding, he connects your lips and flips over, laying you softly against the bed. Your tongue invades his mouth and he welcomes it eagerly, whining into the kiss as he sucks on your bottom lip. “For not having much experience you’re so good at kissing, Hee.” You compliment him and notice the way his eyes glimmer with confidence.

“Better than Jake?” His question catches you off guard and you’re confused until you realize what he’s referencing. “What- how do you know about that?” You’re sitting up now, slowly scooting away from Heeseung. “Well, it wasn’t exactly like you guys were hiding in a private area.” His hand finds your cheek and caresses it, thumb playing with your bottom lip.

You sit still in shock, not realizing that Heeseung had known one of your most private secrets for so long. “I mean, behind the school? You know so many kids go back there to do God knows what, I just happened to be back there and seen you guys.” As he speaks, your fingers are playing with your bed sheet nervously, twisting the fabric until your fingertips turn white.

“Do you know how upset I was?” He was puling you back under him by your waist, kissing you harshly with no time to react. “To see him get what I wanted? To see him touch what’s mine.” You’re looking up at him in pure shock, not realizing how badly he had wanted you for so long.

“That was just a one time thing- you know that!” You’re quick to defend yourself but Heeseung just caresses your cheek and smiles. “I know baby, I know you only want me now.” You nod against his lips as he kisses you again, before he pulls away for the nth time. “Wont let anyone else have you. You’re mine now.” One hand finds your throat and gently squeezes as the other still cups your cheek, feeling the way your jaw moves while your tongue laps against his.

Releasing your lips from his own, he kisses your from your chin down to your jaw and neck, gently sucking the warm skin before making his way to your collarbone. His hands travel up your sides, squeezing the flesh of your waist comfortingly and you ease into his touch.

“Heeseung…” you whine as he nips at the skin covering your collarbone, leaving small barely-visible teeth marks. “Heeseung, I need you.” He smiles against your neck, inhaling your addicting natural scent. Your hands grab his hips, pulling him closer as you shift your own upwards, chasing the friction of your bodies together.

He takes this opportunity to grind his hips down, immediately groaning at the feeling of your core against him. Your hands slide up his back and into his hair, pulling him down to kiss you again. As your lips connect, you’re caught in a mess of tongue sucking and teeth clashing while you amateurishly grind your lower halves together.

You pull away and feel yourself grow more aroused at the sight of Heeseung’s chin shining from the mix of your saliva, assuming yours also looks the same. “Need you now.” He nods and lifts your shirt up your chest and over your head, eyes widening at your lack of bra. “Not the first time you’ve seen them, Hee.” You remind him but you still feel slightly prideful that your body hasn’t become any less admirable to him.

He sucks and bites at the skin of your chest, one hand softly rolling your nipple in his fingers while his warm mouth finds the other. Your back arches off of the bed, pushing your body impossibly closer to Heeseung’s and he groans when you pull his hair harshly. “You like that?” You pull his hair again and he huffs a shaky breath onto your skin. “You like when it hurts?” He grinds his hips down in response, laying his cheek flat on your chest.

“No matter how cute you think it is, I jdon’t want to cum in my pants like a virgin.” Despite his words, he’s still grinding into you almost painfully rough. “But you are a virgin.” You cup his face and bring his face to look you in the eyes. “Not for much longer…I hope.” His eyes are sparkling and hopeful and you can’t help but place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’ll be much longer if you don’t undress me right now.”

His hands move quickly as he rushes to tug your pajama pants down, only stopping for a moment to admire your cute panties before he’s pulling them down too. He notices the way you’re shyly grabbing a small blanket to cover yourself and sends you a worried look, only for you to point back at him. “You’re still fully clothed.” You giggle and push him away. “You haven’t even taken your socks off!” You tease him and he shakes his head before swiftly pulling his shirt over his head.

You watch in awe as he undresses, admiring his naked body for the first time. As you pull the blanket away from your own body, you assume he’s doing the same when you catch him almost drooling over you. With a beckoning of your hand, he’s quickly hovering over you again, this time with two fingers between your legs.

“Have to prep you, baby. Don’t want to hurt you too bad.” You can’t even respond as he slides a thick finger into you, curling it upwards while his thumb rubs circles in your clit. “More.” You’re quiet but Heeseung has always been good at listening to you, and he pulls his finger out slowly just to push it back in with a second one. You can’t help your hips from grinding against his palm as he has two fingers knuckle deep inside of you.

You grab his wrist and he looks at you in worry, just to be met with low, lust-filled eyes. “Cant wait any longer.” Your voice is seductive and Heeseung feels his heart hammering against his chest. “Fuck, okay.” He adjusts himself, ready to push into you until he’s stopping abruptly. “Condom. I don’t have a condom.” He sounds panicked, secretly worried that finally getting to have you will have to be postponed.

To his luck, you just shake your head and reach for his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. “Don’t need one. I’m taking one of your firsts today so I want you to take one of mine.” Heeseung’s feels his heart grow as he’s honored to be the first guy you take raw, and he will make sure that he’s also the last.

Lining up to your entrance again, he slides his tip against your folds a few times, coating his length in your slick that is now pooling onto your bed. He slowly pushes in, head falling forward to rest in your neck as the overwhelming squeeze of your walls sucks him in. “F-fuck.” He curse breathily and you can’t help but moan at how arousing just hearing his voice is.

He’s bottoms out fully and your back arches up, feeling him deep enough to know your cervix could end up bruised. He wraps an arm around your waist to keep your back lifted off of the bed as he slowly pulls out and then slides back in. Your eyes roll back, unable to form a single thought when he starts finding a solid pace, fucking into you gently.

“Harder.” You moan through the word and watch the way he lifts off of you, grabbing your hips and pinning you to the bed. As if something in him switched, he’s keeping you pinned as his hips snap almost painfully fast, hitting the most sensitive spots inside of you with each thrust.

“Oh-fuck, Heeseung!” You’re sure the three boys downstairs have been woken from their deep slumber by now with how loud you’re moaning and the sounds of skin slapping. “Fuck I’m so close already, I’m sorry.” Heeseung sounds pathetic as he whines into your neck.

One hand is digging your fingernails into his broad back as the other guides his face towards yours. You kiss him once before sticking your tongue out and looking him deep in the eyes. He’s unsure of what you’re doing before a lightbulb goes off in his brain. Wrapping a hand around your neck, he squeezes harshly as he lets his spit glide from his lips into your mouth, then connects your lips to his before you could swallow.

The disgusting amount of saliva in your mouth allows your tongues to glide together easily and Heeseung moans loudly at the feeling. “God-I think I’m gonna cum.” Just as the shaky words leave his mouth, you feel a tight knot form inside of you and hearing him sound so fucked out only made you crash over the edge. His thrusts are messy and his eyes are squeezing shut, hoping to last a little longer for you.

“Come on baby, cum with me, need it so bad please-.” You’re barely able to get the words out before you’re wrapping your arms around Heeseung’s neck and rocking your hips, cumming around him with a scream-like whine as your juices are squirting out of you. “Oh fuck-fuck!” Heeseung is groaning between clenched teeth, jaw tight as he struggles to hold back whimpers and moans but doesn’t last long when you’re trapping his bottom lip between your teeth.

He lets out the most pathetic, high pitched moan from his throat as he feels you suck on his lip while your cunt does the same to his cock still burried inside of you. He feels like he can’t stop cumming, spurts after spurts of warm liquid filling you up to the point where he’s forced to pull out of you.

As he does that, he watches the way your mixed liquids seep out of you, staining your bedsheets and thighs. You notice the way his whole abdomen up to his chest is glistening, feeling proud that he was able to make you squirt again but this time without his mouth.

He plops down next you and pulls you to lay your head on his chest. “I’ll clean you up right now, pretty. Just lay here for a bit.” You have never felt this happy after such an intimate moment, grateful that life had lead you to such a sweet and caring boy. You lay there for a few minutes until Heeseung throws his sweats on and finds a towel to clean you with, wetting it with warm water before wiping you up gently.

“Why are you the one doing this? I just took your virginity, you should be the one getting princess treatment.” You’re only half joking but Heeseung doesn’t care, kissing your forehead and removing the dirty sheets off of your bed and instead throwing together some random extra blankets he found. He cuddles up next to you, pulling your body so close to his that you think you can hear his heartbeats. “Doesn’t matter the situation, I’ll always take care of my girl.”

✶

Heeseung is a great boyfriend, even if sometimes he can be overly confident and grope you in public or wouldn’t stop bragging to your friends about how perfect you are, resulting in your cheeks burning red and hot to the touch. You’ve noticed the way he get protective over you even with your own friends; sitting between you and Jake or even eating all of the ramen before Sunghoon comes over just out of spite.

Even after two weeks of being official, having Heeseung still doesn’t feel real. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never been treated this well in a relationship, or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never had someone be this in love with you. So in love that he threatens to bite the hand of many who even looks your way.

So, when Heeseung finds himself back at another party, mixing up a concoction of random liquids, he barely notices the way his red solo cup is reaching it’s limit. Too focused on the way a way-too-friendly guy has been hitting on you all night, he doesn’t even care about the amount of alcoholic beverages he’s filling his cup with.

Sometimes he feels embarrassed by how badly he wants you, and now that he has you, he doesn’t know how to handle his jealousy. That’s why when the guy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, Heeseung takes the wrong road and decides he’s done being the pathetic and needy boyfriend you’re used to.

While you’re sitting on the disgusting frat couch with suspicious stains on the cushions, you can’t help but worry that Heeseung is taking too long to get another drink. Your other three friends are somewhere else, off getting shit faced drunk while you’re left alone to protect yourself from this man who has been following you around all night.

You noticed the way he would back off when you’re with Heeseung, but as soon as your boyfriend is a few feet away, you’re being flirted with and touched in uncomfortable ways. Now that Heeseung has been gone for a few long minutes, your struggling to fight off the man’s wandering hands that trail from your shoulder to your lower back, wincing when his hand doesn’t move even after you tug on his wrist.

He just laughs, pointing to the corner of a room and whispers uncomfortably close to your ear. “That’s your man?” You follow his finger, heart dropping when you watch the way Heeseung is towering over a small, almost too-perfect girl. The same girl who had the nerve to call you a slut in the middle of campus.

You don’t miss the way she looks over her shoulder, smirking when she catches you staring. She turns back to Heeseung with a pretty smile, reaching up to trail her fingertips across his arm and you feel your heart crumble.

You reach your breaking point, shoving the clingy man off of you so hard he stumbles against the stairs, landing hard on his ass. You don’t even glance back at him as you make your way around the house, eventually finding all three of your friends swimming in the backyard pool with their jeans and white shirts now soaking.

You hurry to them, explaining that you don’t feel well and that you need to go home. “Are you okay? Where’s Heeseung?” Your boyfriend’s name coming out of Sunghoon’s mouth was enough for you to break down, covering your face with your hand as tears spill from your eyes. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? What did he do?” Jay’s voice is stern and demanding but you know he’s not frustrated with you. “I’ll go find him-“ Jake is cut off when you grab his wrist, pulling him back towards your circle.

“I don’t want to see him right now, just take me home.” As if the universe is testing you, said boyfriend is walking up to your friend group with an unreadable expression before you can plan your escape. “Hey, pretty. What’s wrong?” His question infuriates you more and you find yourself rushing forward and harshly pushing his chest.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!?” Your voice is horse as you cry, a few strangers now looking in your direction. Heeseung take’s note of this, suddenly grabbing you by the arm and rushing inside of the house. The lights and music blur your senses, and you’re unable to tell what’s going on until your back is being pressed up against a bathroom sink.

Heeseung’s lips quickly find their way to yours, biting and sucking harshly as you continue to cry. “Stop, Heeseung. I’m not in the mood.” You shove his shoulder and he pulls away with an irritated look. “Why not? Did that guy not agree to fuck you?” His words are sharp and mean.

You gasp offendedly, a hurt expression making its way onto your face. “What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t want to fuck him!” You’re yelling again and Heeseung presses his index finger to your lips. “That’s not what it looked like when you were letting him feel you up.” Heeseung is calm and it irritates you more at how confident he’s being despite being wrong.

You feel your eyes start tearing up again, looking away from your boyfriend’s angelic face. “I wasn’t letting him.” Your voice is quiet and weak. “I couldn’t stop him and you-you weren’t there to help me. You knew he was preying on me but you still left me alone.” You can’t stop the warm tears from sliding down your cheeks.

Heeseung takes a step back, eyes now softer and habitually nibbling on his bottom lip. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry.” He cups your face with both hands, eyes locking with yours before he brings you into a tight hug. “I was just so mad that he was trying to get at you, I wanted to make you feel the same way. Didn’t even realize how uncomfortable you were, I’m sorry.” You swear you hear him sniffle as he apologizes, squeezing your body tighter.

“It’s…it’s fine, Hee. You’re new to this relationship stuff so I’ll just have to teach you, I guess.” You sigh and run your fingers through his hair, calming the both of you down. He takes a few shaky breaths before pulling back from the hug and kissing you again, soft and sweet like he’s thanking you for being so patient.

Maybe you’ll just have to get used to him having these ups and downs. Sure, he isn’t the most confident and might be immature and reckless sometimes, but that’s all a part of learning. You want to allow him to experience these harsh moments and teach him how to overcome them. Even if it hurts you in the process, you’ll do anything to be with Heeseung and he’d do anything to be with you, because after so long, you’re finally his.

[pursuitseternal]

“Lend You a Hand”

Ascended Astarion x f!Reader | E | 1.6K

🎨 by @kowashites (full nsfw in ao3 link)

Summary: His Consort has been away all day, and Lord Astarion has plans for some fun to be had in public… and in the privacy of your skirts. One Mage Hand, one Vampire mating bond, and it’s going to be a long walk back to the Palace.

CW: Inappropriate use of Mage Hand, dirty talking you through it, orgasm control and delay, vaginal fingering, aka the DnD Vampire equivalent of a remote vibrator and a phone.

Inspired by OGY’s amazing NSFW audio “In Public, Darling?”

Ao3 link | Astarion Masterlist

It had been a long day of meetings and social calls, of new important and powerful people to influence and bribe. Astarion didn’t expect you back at the palace quite so soon, so a few drinks with a couple of your old companions back at the Elfsong shouldn’t be a problem… should it?

After an hour of hearing how the Selûnite encampment was progressing, how the once Blade of Frontiers had settled into rubbing elbows politically, you felt a ringing in your ears, a tingle up your spine, and a voice in your head.

“Not so desperate to return to me?” Astarion, purrs down your bond. “Not upset at me, are you?”

His laughter is warm and taunting. He’s up to something, you can tell just by that tone. “I was just about to leave…” you think back at him. Only to receive a tickle of laughter in your ear.

“Step outside,” he commands, “I have a surprise for you…”

You obey, knowing his games are always… satisfying. Well, teasing and merciless until they are oh, so satisfying. As you exit, you look around for that head of tousled curls and those glinting red eyes. Nothing.

“Not here, darling, somewhere less public, but not by much…” his voice seems to creep from the alleyway, sounding in your ear as if he’s around the corner. You follow, a suspicion flickers in your head, one that’s confirmed when you see the glowing blue Mage Hand beckoning you closer. It presses a single, tingling digit to your lips before wandering that ice cold touch down the lines of your dress.

“You’re so good at hiding your thoughts, your desires… Why don’t we play a game? I’d hate to think you’d been out having all sorts of fun without me…”

“What sort of game?” You smirk as you reply.

“Hmmm, I’m going to make you come before you get into the door. Doesn’t that sound delicious, darling? Just to remind you how desperately you need me, how desperately you depend on me…”

That Mage Hand instantly flies under your skirts, sliding up your thigh until it sinks two magic digits knuckle deep between your thighs.

You squirm; a groan, a gasp, a noise of pure desperation slips from your mouth.

“Ahh, there it is, one of my favorite noises, that little bit of a gasp. Don’t fret, darling. Start walking… keep it together, and get home to our palace, dear Consort…”

“You can be such a controlling prick, you know that?” You taunt him back as you start to walk, your legs splayed a little to make room for those magical fingers digging in your cunt.

“Isn’t that part of the fun? Part of the game?” He purrs his taunt in retaliation. “Just think of all the fun things I can do to you in public… in the privacy of your skirts…”

“Fun for you, perhaps,” you grunt back as he digs those remote fingers to stroke you in just that right spot, the one that makes your knees go wobbly.

“Oh darling, I’m hurt. I thought we had something special going on here. After all, I’m doing all the hard work. All you have to do is keep that polite smile on your face and walk.”

Your breathing is rapid, and even your pale cheeks are beginning to flush with excitement. With every step, you feel the thrusting and prodding and burrowing inside you. A short walk, you console yourself. So close, it’s just… a bit more as you head down the bustling street, a hair closer with every step to the Central Wall and then to the tower entrance.

But that’s when his thumb joins the myriad of sensations between your thighs. “Fuck,” you curse aloud, your knees buckling until you have to catch yourself on the wall beside you.

And then that purring voice tickles inside your ear again. “Desperate, pet? I do so love to hear when you’re desperate.” His presence fills your mind, even as those fingers thrust and crook, thrust and crook in time with your air. Except now, you stand stock still, just trying to catch your breath and not fall. “That’s it, darling, steady yourself, I wouldn’t want you to trip.”

Your thighs shake as that hand catches you just right, your fangs biting through your lower lip as you quake and fight with all your strength not to puddle your mess on the stone streets.

“Mmm, delicious, I can hear your breathing, feel your heart racing. Hells, you’re desperately close, aren’t you? You’re just outside Sorcerers’ Sundries, aren’t you? Tell me, do all those innocent mages think something is wrong with you?” His voice grows more excited, frenzied, as if the idea of you getting caught with his literal hand up your skirts is getting him hard… which it undoubtedly is.

You can taste blood, a welcome distraction from the constant movement in and out… in and out… “Damn you to the hells!” You curse, your hips rolling on what looks like nothing. Your secret pleasure source, those deft, dexterous fingers show no mercy as you go careening towards your peak.

“My lady,” the kind vendor nearest you offers gently. But you just round on them, baring your own set of teeth in agitation to scare them off.

Your ferocity is rewarded with a warm laugh in your ear and a perfect circle of that magic thumb over your clit. “I’m sure you’re quite a sight by now. How sweet of them to come to your aid… my damsel in distress. A pity I’m the only one who can save you…”

He pulls those fingers out entirely, and you keen into your palm, crying tears at the absence and burning denial.

“Walk, pet. Get to the gate before I continue…”

It’s a promise and a threat, all in one velvet, sugar-sweet phrase.

You focus, feeling that cool shimmer of magic hovering over your skin, just brushing your thighs as you force yourself, will yourself, to take one step… then another. You have to tell your brain, as lust-hazy as it is, to breathe, to move, to smile and look demure. Even if on the inside you’re raging, blistering hot with need. You can’t even weave two words to curse your love, to snap at him for how much you’re suffering at his hands with this little game.

Suffering… and loving it.

A few more steps, and you managed to climb your sorry ass and slick thighs up to the walls of your home…

“Good darling… good Consort,” his praises pour over you, soothing and stoking your desire afresh somehow all at once. You almost tumble up the stairs in your delirium, the rush of pleasure as those fingers sink their cool touch inside you makes you moan, caught off guard, loud enough to bounce off the stone walls of the tower.

A few quick, shallow movements and you’re near the brink again, so quickly.

“Sweetling, tears already?” His satin syllables caress your ear, only adding to the rush of heat and wet between your thighs. “You sound… frantic, desperate. Desperate enough to beg.” That wicked, rumbling chuckle races down your spine and tickles your brain. “Beg for it, my love, what do you want from me?” The Mage Hand slips out mid stride.

“Come! I want to come!” You scream aloud as you make it to the parapet, one hand on the door to the palace as that Mage Hand sweeps its thumb perfectly over your clit and those cool smooth fingers crook just right.

You can hear his laughter from the other side of the door, the wooden panes barely muffling that annoying, perverted, deep-chested giggle. You grit your teeth, pushing on your bond as you come undone, as your slick soaks those magic fingers and your belly clenches and spasms until you lose your breath.

It’s all you can do, to dig deep and force your feelings back at your love, the bastard that he is. A smile turns your panting, slack-jawed lips as you hear his own groan. That’s all the encouragement you need. You throw your debilitating lust and mind-numbing pleasure through your linked minds… and the gut rending thud of a fist against the door, the way the Mage Hand disappears as he loses concentration… the way you hear his breath ragged and voice rough as he comes too….

You grin, feeling your mutual pleasure and delight shimmering between you, it makes your walls throb and your mouth smile.

Just a twist of your wrist, and you open the door to see him, the great Lord… the Vampire Ascendant… with sweat on his face and a cheeky, annoyed grin as he hunches forward to catch his breath. One hand grips his own cock at the head, cum leaking between his fingers… The other rakes his silver curls back, a meager attempt to regain some semblance of control. “Well, here’s my little treat with her cheeks all flushed and her thighs just soaked for me,” he croons, content even as he smirks at you, breathless. “To bed, I think…”

You give a brazen smirk. “This time, I want your real fingers without the distractions of your little game in public…”

He laughs, his true lips whispering in your ear. “Oh well, I suppose, there’s fun to be had in private, darling.”

[riizegasm]

Melt || P.WB

❀ pairing: nerdy!wonbin x gn!reader

❀ genre: college au, suggestive, fluff

❀ word count: ~4.8k

❀ warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption, suggestive themes, somewhat dialogue heavy, wonbin is slightly ooc, one heated kiss scene that kinda doesn’t end…oops?

❀ summary: Getting snowed in with your socially awkward project partner isn’t ideal. But maybe it is, when he’s as attractive as Park Wonbin. And who knows, maybe you’ll find yourself someone to keep you company until the snow melts.

❀ a/n: I have honestly never loved a fic concept more than this one! I hope you all love it as much as all do. As always, likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated and encouraged. Happy reading!

masterlist

Deep eyes remain trained on a space outside the window, their darkness absorbing the stark whiteness of the snow. At this point, it has covered everything, leaving the entire town blanketed in white. You can only see his profile, but the white reflects beautifully in the rich brown of his eyes, doubly projected onto the lenses of his glasses. You wish you had your sketchpad, hoping to capture even a small portion of his beauty. A drawing wouldn’t even begin to compare, though. 

“It’s still snowing,” Wonbin says, smiling sheepishly. 

He turns to you for the first time in a few minutes, eyes now sparkling with the reflection of your interior lights rather than the freshly fallen snow. He’s still breathtaking, a fact that you’ve never been quite able to get over since meeting him. To think that he was sitting in the front row of the class, left by himself for the year end project…it must have been fate. It must have been a higher power that turned his wide eyes to land on yours while a soft blush bloomed on his tan cheeks. 

It must have been fate when your professor noticed that you two were the only ones left without partners. It must have been fate when the first time Wonbin came over to start on the project, snow began to fall. At first it was simply light flurries, not enough to stick. But after an hour, the snow began to come down in blankets, blocking all entrances and exits, leaving all public transportation stuck in place. 

It must be a higher power that has you snowed in your apartment with the most attractive man you’ve ever seen. 

“I’m so sorry for intruding like this,” Wonbin mutters as he adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “If I had known it was going to be this much snow, I would have suggested another day to work on the project.”

Thank god he didn’t. 

“Don’t apologize,” you reassure from your spot on the couch. “You can’t control the weather. And besides, it gives us plenty of time to work on the project. Who knows, maybe this is a sign that we should be friends or something!”

Wonbin seems confused by your remarks, a familiar blush beginning to dust his cheeks. “Friends?”

The man’s confusion doesn’t quite come as a shock to you. Although you had never really seen him before being paired together in class, it was obvious that Wonbin was more of a loner. All you knew was that he had a roommate, Eunseok, which is why you suggested your own place for the project. His social skills were…questionable, to say the least, so it doesn’t surprise you that he’s hesitant to lean into the label of friends. Although, you’d be lying if you said that was all that you wanted from him. 

To say that Wonbin is attractive is an understatement; he’s nothing short of absolutely gorgeous. His long, dark hair constantly falls forward to conceal his wide, dark eyes, forever framed by his thick-rimmed glasses. His mouth remained enticingly pink, full lips slightly chapped from his habit of biting them and the harsh winter cold. Despite his habit of shrinking into spaces, it’s clear that his shoulders are impossibly broad, tapering into a thin waist that could only be maintained through hours at the gym. 

Even now, as the man stands with his hands politely clasped behind his back, it’s impossible not to notice the subtle flex of his triceps underneath his short sleeve tee shirt. Never had you been more thankful for the man wearing layers, all because he simply runs warm. You can’t help but wonder if his skin would be hot to the touch, if close proximity would warm you to your core. 

“Yeah,” you smile. “We can be friends! I mean, we should get to know each other a bit anyways. That might make the project more bearable.”

Wonbin seems to mull the suggestion over for a second before he breaks out into a wide smile. “Yeah, let’s be friends.”

It’s hard not too coo at the prominent apples of his cheeks, painted that faint pink that seems to permanently color Wonbin’s face. You have rarely seen the man smile. Normally, he seems nothing short of absolutely miserable, forever closed off and not sparing anyone a second glance. But something about the genuine excitement swimming in his eyes has a pleasant warmth blooming in your gut. 

“Why don’t you come sit down,” you pat the space next to you on your worn couch. “It seems like we’re going to be here for a while. Wine?”

Wonbin’s smile grows impossibly wider. “Yeah, wine sounds good.”

The rosé is crisp on your tongue when you finally settle back into the couch. Wonbin seems to be enjoying it as well, despite his overly stiff body language. He remains rigid on the opposite side of the couch, which is more like a loveseat, seemingly determined to keep as much physical space between you two as possible. It’s adorable, but you know that needs to change. 

You let some time pass with both of you enjoying your wine and the music that you had put on earlier as a backtrack for studying. The studio apartment that you call home is small enough that the sound fills all four walls, the space forever feeling cozy. Wonbin seems to enjoy it as well, if the way his fingers tap out the beat on his thigh is anything to go by. 

You imagined that it would be awkward between the two of you, as Wonbin doesn’t seem to do the best in social situations. But the man seems content to sit in relative quiet, just enjoying the music. It isn’t until the both of you are about halfway into your second glasses that you speak again. 

“So, what do you like to do for fun?”

Wonbin seems a little surprised as he turns to you, as if not expecting to do much talking at all. 

“I like playing video games. I also like to go to the gym with Eunseok and some of his friends sometimes.” The man’s nose scrunches as he thinks for a moment. “Oh! And I really like to play the guitar.”

You can’t help the way your eyes flit down to his hands, taking in the way his fingers wrap around the stem of his wine glass. He clearly has a few callouses, fingertips rough from years of plucking guitar strings. A few prominent veins run down from his forearm and stretch through his hands, indicating a subtle strength behind his grip. Suddenly, your core feels warm, and you’re sure that the wine is not to blame. 

You clear your throat roughly before responding. “That’s so cool!”

Wonbin’s eyes seem to sparkle when he turns them to you. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean. I’m sure it’s a hit with the ladies, men, whoever you date.”

“Oh, well…” A pout begins to form on Wonbin’s lips, his seemingly permanent blush spreading to the tips of his ears. “I haven’t really dated anyone before.”

It shouldn’t come as a shock to you, but it does. Wonbin’s undoubtedly attractive, and on a campus as big as yours, you’re sure that someone would snatch him up if they got the chance. But with his quiet, awkward demeanor, you’re not surprised that he hasn’t quite let anyone. In an odd way, the news makes you a little giddy. 

“Really?” You raise an eyebrow. “You haven’t dated anyone? Like not even a situationship?”

“Situationship?”

Wonbin’s evident confusion is extremely endearing, but startling nonetheless. Has he really never experienced romance before? It seems impossible, but with the way he worries his bottom lip between his teeth, there seems to be no other explanation. 

You sigh, taking a long swig of your wine before responding. “Yeah, it’s like, a mutual crush but you never actually date.”

“Oh, then no.” Wonbin’s flush deepens, almost impossibly so, the wine and embarrassment creating a beautiful combination on his face. “I mean, I’ve had crushes before. But they’ve never liked me back, I don’t think…”

Wonbin’s voice trails off into a soft whisper, his eyes growing glassier behind his clear lenses. It’s clear that the boy doesn’t seem uncomfortable admitting his lack of experience, the wine probably doing wonders for his confidence. But he still seems shy, secretive, refusing to meet your gaze as if eye contact would reveal something—too much, maybe. 

It’s impossible not to wonder what kind of secrets lay hidden behind Wonbin’s meek exterior. You wonder if he becomes a different person entirely when he relaxes. When the glasses come off and the shy demeanor dissipates, who exactly is Park Wonbin? And why do you feel like you’d want him no matter what?

“Wait, so how—?” You cut your own question off by clapping a hand over your mouth. “I’m so sorry! I just realized I’m being so intrusive. I didn’t mean to interrogate you, I swear!”

A soft smile blooms on Wonbin’s face, never faltering as he drains the contents of his second glass. “It’s okay.”

“No, no, it’s not! Here, ask me something…or a few things. That way we can call it even.”

“Oh, I don’t need to do that. I promise it’s okay.”

“No, seriously,” you insist. “We can even make a game out of it! Like 21 questions or something.”

The look of confusion on the man’s face tells you everything you need to know. Sure, the game is somewhat outdated, but it’s still a classic. And as a man in his twenties, you had at least expected the man to have participated in a way too sexual game of 21 questions. It was like a rite of passage! But Wonbin seems to be full of surprises. 

“It’s basically a game where you just ask each other questions back and forth that the other person has to answer.”

Wonbin cocks his head cutely. “What if I don’t want to answer?”

“Then you don’t answer,” you shrug. “Some people play where you have to drink if you don’t want to answer, but we don’t have to do that.”

Surprisingly, Wonbin’s eyes light up with a newfound mischief at the explanation. It’s a stark contrast from the wide-eyed confusion that normally crosses his face, or the shy blush that continually colors his cheeks. Instead, he appears like a normal college student, for once, ready to take on a challenge. The look ignites something in your core that you force yourself to ignore. 

“I think I want to do it that way. You know, where you drink and stuff!”

His excitement forces you to shrug, immediately grabbing the bottle of wine and splitting its contents between your two glasses. It seems like the alcohol has allowed Wonbin to relax a little bit, if the way he sinks into the couch is anything to go by. You struggle not to track the stretch of his biceps when one arm rests on the back of the loveseat, unintentionally putting you in his embrace. 

Your voice comes out shaky despite your attempts to steel your nerves. “You ask first.”

“Uh…” Wonbin’s nose scrunches cutely as he thinks, clearly using every corner of his wine-tipsy brain to come up with a question. “Oh! What’s your favorite color?”

You can’t help but snort at the man’s generic question. It’s clear that he didn’t know the game, so he would have no idea what other things that question would lead to. For a moment, you consider telling Wonbin how that question always leads down a rabbit hole of debauchery. But you can’t bring yourself to dampen the innocent glisten in his eye. 

“It’s green, but not like a light green or a lime color. I like a good, deep, forest green.”

Wonbin hums, seemingly satisfied by your thoughtful answer. “Okay, your turn.”

“What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”

“Gotten a tattoo,” Wonbin answers immediately.

You’re sure your eyes are popping out of your head. You expected his answer to be something akin to getting a bad grade on a test or attending a shady party, but this is on a whole new level. Subconsciously, your eyes roam his form, trying to get a peek of ink, wherever it is. When you can’t seem to find any, you can’t control your follow up question. 

“Where is it?”

Wonbin smiles cheekily, rosy cheeks deepening in color. “It’s not your turn anymore.”

As the game progresses, the two of you sink into comfort. It’s easy to trade questions and swap answers like it’s nothing, only a few questions causing either of you to drink. You learn that Wonbin gets giggly as he gets tipsier, lips bitten into a deep cherry shade that matches the flush on his cheeks. It would be cute, if it weren’t for the way his eyes bore holes into your face, the man suddenly no longer scared to maintain eye contact. 

You wonder if this is an act, a persona that Wonbin puts on to win over whoever he’s interested in. It would make sense: act shy and innocent, find a way to hang out, slowly let his confidence begin to show over a few drinks and shared laughter. But then there’s all those little moments that betray the confident aura that the liquor has bathed him in. 

At one point, Wonbin attempts to drink from his cup a little too quickly, the glass clashing against his teeth and causing him to wince. At another, he gets so excited about his love for guitars that he starts rambling, fumbling over his speedy words as he tries to include you in his interest. It’s endearing, and so incredibly genuine that you can’t doubt for a second that this is him. Once again, you find yourself wondering how a man like this could be single. 

“Your turn,” Wonbin chirps before taking another sip of his wine. You’re surprised he’s been able to make it last so long. 

“Hmm,” you ponder dramatically, tapping your index finger against your chin in a way that makes Wonbin giggle. “How old were you when you had your first kiss?”

The man freezes. His hand remains hovering awkwardly above the coffee table, about to place his wine glass down. He slowly turns to you, eyes wide and face scrunched in a permanent wince. You simply blink back at him, not sure why the question would elicit such a reaction. 

It takes Wonbin a second before he’s able to snap out of it, letting out a breath. He finally places his glass on the table before shooting you a sheepish smile. It seems like second nature when his hand comes to scratch at the long hairs at the nape of his neck. 

“I, uh,” the man flounders for a bit, clearly racking his brain in hopes that his next sentence will magically appear. “I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

Park Wonbin really is full of surprises. 

You guess that the information shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to you, considering all of the other things that he hadn’t experienced. But you still expected the man to have some experience. Hell, even having a peck in elementary school is more expected than never kissing anyone. 

Despite the way that Wonbin lets out a soft chuckle, it’s clear that the admission makes him somewhat uncomfortable. His body is stiff in the loveseat, despite the way he tries to feign nonchalance. He can’t seem to keep his gaze on yours, looking anywhere else but at you. 

You hate it, the way one simple question has altered the vibe of your entire interaction. Things had been going so well, the two of you getting along much better than expected. But of course, your big mouth had to ruin it. Curiosity must have truly killed the cat, because Wonbin looks like he’d rather be six feet under than sitting next to you. 

A quick glance towards the window reveals that the snow is still coming down heavily, with no signs of stopping soon. It’s clear that Wonbin will still have to be here for another few hours, at the least, so discomfort is not an option. You just sigh, placing a reassuring hand on Wonbin’s thigh. 

“Hey, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” you soothe. “I’m sorry, though. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Wonbin shakes his head, still refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m not…you didn’t…it’s fine, really. I should have just drank instead of answering. That’s how you play the game, right?”

You don’t buy the man’s unbothered act, especially as his thigh muscle remains tense under your touch. Before you can respond, Wonbin pipes up again, words coming out in a rush. 

“I mean it’s not a big deal anyways. Like I’ve just never had the chance to do it, you know? It’s not like I’m saving it for anyone special or anything. It just hasn’t really come up. And I feel like it doesn’t have to be so serious. I’m sure my time will come soon.”

As the man rambles, you can’t help but watch the movement of his mouth. His lips look so full where they curve around each syllable, perfectly pink and slightly glossy from saliva. Every now and then, you get a peek of his perfectly white teeth; you can’t help but wonder how they would feel sinking into the flesh of your own lips. 

“Wonbin,” you call softly. 

The boy doesn’t seem to hear you, still caught up in his ramblings. 

“Wonbin,” you repeat, louder this time. 

It still doesn’t seem to be enough, the man clearly lost in his own explanations. 

“You can kiss me!” You blurt. When the man turns wide eyes towards you, you immediately begin to backtrack. “I mean, only if you want to.”

Wonbin flounders for a moment, his mouth stuck in a helpless cycle between open and closed. You brace yourself for the impact of rejection, silently cursing at how you’ve killed the vibe once again. With the ongoing snow, you know you’ll have to bear the awkwardness for at least a few more hours. 

“I want to.”

What?

“What?”

Wonbin’s no longer looking at you, instead staring at where he’s picking at the loose threads of his ripped jeans. 

“I want to,” he mumbles softly. “I want to kiss you, but only if you mean it. I get it if it was a joke or something, though.”

Your heart breaks at the thought of what Wonbin’s been through, no doubt having been teased during his growing years. But you can’t imagine how anyone would joke about wanting to kiss him when that’s all you’ve wanted to do since you first laid eyes on him. 

“Yeah…I mean, no! I’m not joking,” you rush out. “I mean, you said you never had the opportunity, so what better time than the present?”

Wonbin nods, still unable to meet your gaze. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Despite the icy chill of the winter weather, it suddenly feels one hundred degrees hotter in your apartment. Although you and Wonbin are seated at opposite ends of the loveseat, the space between you feels almost nonexistent. If you just shifted a bit to the right, you would be able to make the contact that you so desperately crave. 

“So,” Wonbin starts after a moment of silence, “um, what should I do?”

For a second, you pause, wondering how exactly you should go about this. It’s Wonbin’s first kiss. There’s an immense pressure to make it great, perfect even. When you think back on your own first kiss, it was anything but, which just deepens your desire to make this everything he has ever dreamed of. 

The liquid courage that your glasses of wine have given you allows you to slide into Wonbin’s lap. You try to ignore the way that the man instantly tenses, reminding yourself that this is normal for a first time. 

“Is this okay?” You whisper, almost nose to nose with the man.

Wonbin swallows thickly before nodding, hands hovering awkwardly in the air. At his confirmation, you allow yourself to relax into your position, thighs cast on either side of his hips. Like this, you can see the faint freckles that dot Wonbin’s face, some hidden by the thick frames of his glasses. He’s gorgeous, you notice, not for the first time. 

The music is still playing softly in the background, a calm R&B melody flooding the small space. It’s cozy, slowly melting your discomfort away. Wonbin seems lost though, hands twitching where they hover aimlessly. You can’t help but smile at the display of nerves, choosing to soothe them by placing them on your hips. Wonbin’s fingers flex and then relax, slowly gaining confidence where they hold you. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You ask. 

“Yeah, I—,” Wonbin swallows heavily. “Please.”

You ignore the sharp flutter that rushes through your stomach, instead wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You can feel the longer strands of his hair tickle the skin of your forearms, soft and delicate. Wonbin’s eyes flicker down to your lips, once, twice, before he goes back to meeting your gaze. 

“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

All you get is a quick nod before you’re leaning in and placing a chaste peck on his lips. It’s nothing special, just a soft meeting of lips, but it feels electric. You pull away with a soft sigh, lamenting the fact that it was over all too quickly. Wonbin is slow to open his eyes, blinking at you slowly. 

“How was th—,”

You don’t get to finish your sentence before Wonbin’s lips are on yours once again. It’s firmer this time, his lips more insistent where they blanket yours. The grip on your hips tightens as Wonbin tilts his head, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. It’s still fairly modest, but the feeling of him against you has goosebumps erupting on your skin. The kiss only lasts a second longer than the first, but you feel doubly breathless when the two of you part. 

“Was that good?” Wonbin asks, dark eyes sparkling behind glasses that are slightly askew. 

You don’t trust your voice at the moment, choosing the answer his question with a simple nod of the head. The confirmation has a bright smile blooming on the man’s face, his fingers pressing more firmly into your hips. 

“Can I kiss you again?”

This time, you can’t stop yourself from leaning forward, pulling the man directly into a liplock. Wonbin seems to have gained a bit of confidence, tilting his head to the side as his lips move against yours. He even goes as far as to trace his tongue along the seam of your mouth, somewhat smiling when you grant him entrance. 

Wonbin’s kiss is nothing like you expected. While he lacks some finesse, he still kisses you breathless, lips moving smoothly against yours. Even as you both are properly making out, he seems to keep up with your demands, copying your movements every so often. He’s a quick learner, making up for what he lacks in experience with enthusiasm. 

The two of you part with an obscene wet sound, your shared saliva making Wonbin’s lips glisten. He looks properly fucked out from just a bit of kissing. His glasses sit askew on his nose, hair tousled from where your fingers were playing with dark strands. It makes your imagination run wild. If this is how he looks after making out, how would he look after he—?

You clear your throat as an attempt to snap out of your daze. Carefully, you untangle yourself from Wonbin’s lap, immediately missing the heat of his skin on yours. Wonbin seems to miss it, too, if the way his hands begin to play with the fabric of his jeans again is anything to go by. After a moment, he straightens out his glasses and takes a deep breath. 

“So,” you start, breaking the tense silence. “How was that for your first kiss?”

Wonbin sighs, staring at an unspecified point in the apartment. “It was good. Really good.”

You can’t help the soft chuckle you let out at the man’s honesty, helplessly endeared. It’s a wonder how the man can go from the sole object of your desire to the target of your cuteness aggression so quickly. It’s refreshing, but also dangerous in the way it makes your heart squeeze in your chest. 

Wonbin still looks dazed when he finally turns to you, cheeks painted with a fresh flush. He seems oddly nervous, more nervous than one should be in the presence of someone they just made out with. 

“Can I tell you something?” He blurts. 

The outburst startles you, but the determination in his dark eyes piques your curiosity. When you give an affirmative hum, the man sighs, seemingly hyping himself up before he speaks. 

“I think I like you.” He seems disappointed in his own admission, brows furrowing cutely as he rushes to correct himself. “I mean, I know I like you. Like, more than just a project partner. I have a crush on you.”

Your heart sinks at the confession. Of course Wonbin would be convinced that he has a crush on the person he shared his first kiss with. The combination of the wine and the smooth music hasn’t helped either, likely clouding his head with a vision of romance that he doesn’t truly believe in. As much as you’d like to believe it’s real, you know that this is just a result of circumstance. 

“Wonbin,” you sigh, trying to ignore the way he lights up at the simple call of his name. “I think you’re just saying that. I mean, a first kiss can really change your perception of someone.”

“What?”

You run a hand through your hair, fighting the disappointment that sinks in your core. “I’m just saying that you probably don’t actually have a crush on me. I think it’s the emotions of the kiss, the wine, the close proximity, you know, all that stuff.”

Wonbin looks utterly confused. “I had a crush on you before I kissed you though. Even before I came over here today, I thought you were pretty.”

Now it’s your turn to be confused. “What?”

“I thought it was my lucky day when we got paired up. I mean, I knew you would never notice me otherwise.”

“You mean…”

“I’m happy my first kiss was with you,” Wonbin admits, smiling softly. “But I would have been ridiculously into you even if I didn’t get to kiss you. Even if I never got to kiss you! I mean you’re just so pretty and smart and I love when the professor calls on you because you always know the answer and your voice sounds so nice in the morning, but it’s sometimes so distracting that…”

“Wonbin,” you call. 

“I feel like I lose my focus in the class, which is part of why I sit in the front because I knew that if I could see you I would never be able to pay attention, which sucks because I don’t want to ruin my GPA, but…”

“Wonbin!”

You’re able to put a stop to the boy’s rambling by cupping his face, fighting a coo at the way his plush cheeks squish together. His mouth is left in a forced pucker, lips enticing you for a kiss. This time, you don’t resist.

“I like you, too,” you admit once you pull away, “as more than a project partner.”

Wonbin is silent for a moment, blinking rapidly behind his thick lenses. It seems to take a second for his brain to come back online, but when it does, his face blooms into a squished smile. 

“Does that mean you’ll be my second kiss, too?”

Your own chuckle surprises you, forcing you to release Wonbin’s face from your grasp. You don’t bother to fight your giggles, happy to notice that Wonbin has joined in on your laughter. 

“I’m pretty sure we’re beyond two kisses, but yes, Wonbin. That means I’ll be your second kiss. And if you play your cards right, I’ll be there for many more kisses after that.”

Wonbin smiles, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger. “I wish I could kiss you forever, until all that snow out there melts and forever after that.”

You can’t help but lean forward, placing a quick peck on Wonbin’s lips. 

“There, that was another one. I guess we still have a long way to go until the snow melts.”

Wonbin traps his bottom lip between his teeth, gaze stuck on your mouth. “I guess we better get started, then.”

[thebearer]

Picture this: Carmy taking extra weeks off when Willow is born compared to when Teddy was born (I get the feeling he off for like, ten days and he was CRAWLING UP THE WALLS with the need to be back in the kitchen controlling things) to avoid that shitty dad feeling. Especially because the two of you have to look after Teddy AND new baby Willow. And he's realized you and the kids are more important than the restaurant 100% ❤️

with teddy he took a week and a half off (was supposed to be two but he ended up going back in early bc he’s a control freak). and really, it wasn’t much of a break. the first few days, yes, then he’s calling or people were calling him.

“i just gotta take this for a second.” and it would be a two hour ordeal of him trying to call, order, then call sydney or sugar or richie.

then he starts going in, just for a second. getting things from the office that he left. he was never gone long, he knew better and they’d practically kick him out of the kitchen, but he could not stay away. needed to see with his own eyes that everything was good, worried constantly that it wasn’t and it was falling down around him.

truthfully, by the time he went back, you were glad he was gone bc he was stressing you out. I don’t think he did a full dinner service until two weeks and even then, he only stayed for a little bit. just to greet who he needed to if there was a kitchen tour, or talk to critics, do a few things and he was home honestly before it was closed. very much so a control freak who wore himself so thin, thus causing the absolute break that he had in the devastation fics.

so when willow comes around, he’s much more relaxed. maybe not all the way, but he trusts that richie and sydney and everyone can run it without him. he has more trust, less need for control, and genuinely is kinda excited in a way to be away from the restaurant.

i think he’d take two weeks fully no contact (unless it was an emergency) but then after that he’d come in once a week just to do office things, just when they needed him, would bring teddy to get her out of the house and let you and willow sleep. kinda handle two things situation. it’s more of a gradual thing. he lets sydney honestly call whatever the schedule is based around her.

i mentioned in a baby making blurb (which i think I’m going to turn into a full smut fic lol) that he wanted to plan this time. didn’t want to be careless, wanted to plan the pregnancy so it wasn’t rushed like teddy’s was. and he did just that.

he made sure to plan his schedule so he wouldn’t get overworked or burnt out like last time. he really thought of ways that he could be home, be with you and the girls, but not abandon everyone at work. hired some extra chefs he trusted that he knew from noma or somewhere, just people he trusted, and found a way to makeup for the slack so there would be no more pressure.

does his office things at home (ordering, scheduling, pay roll) during willow and teddy’s nap time. usually had baby willow with him in his office bc she’s chill. he likes to see her, she’s quiet and sleeps better with company, and it lets you be able to sleep without worrying about getting up bc he’s got it. especially if he’s going to be working dinner shift that night and he knows you’ll have to be up.

if he and sydney are meeting up for menu concept brainstorming or tastings or something, he’ll bring teddy, sometimes you and willow along too. it gets you out of the house, if you want to, you get to socialize, taste food, and he can get stuff done. they both like your opinions, so it’s kinda a win.

just things he didn’t do before. before with teddy, carmen was dead set on keeping them separate. in his mind, those worlds couldn’t collide. he couldn’t bring work home bc he thought you’d be upset, and he couldn’t bring you there into the chaos with a baby, so he just overwhelmed himself and exhausted himself trying to make it work.

with willow (carm’s also been to therapy lol), he learned a balance. that they can overlap, to try and ask others instead of guessing and making assumptions, really just how to balance better.

[pretendfan]

Jake Peralta x F! reader

Almost as if by magic officer Jake Peralta was gifted decent coffee at work practically every day, and it always put him in a good mood courtesy of you his desk buddy, only he still had yet to realise why this was actually happening much to their squads mutual annoyance.

Until Jake spots another guys name and digits on his styrofoam cup at first acting indifferent, but soon realising he’s jealous so it’s time to do some detective work of his own, and get to the bottom of this mystery…

{Coffee is for closers}

~Two~

Thanks to falling back asleep again after your alarm you were feeling both flustered and annoyed, unable to start this day just right you were already in a bad mood, which follows you all the way to the subway station and even to the elevators in the precinct.

Without your nice coffee in hand you would have to suffer the offering in the break room, which was usually cheap and old having been left out in the pot for too long, the thought of drinking that alone enhances your mood towards the negative ten fold.

Add to this the fact that Jake wouldn’t be arriving into work until after lunchtime, you weren’t looking forward to this shift at all especially seeing how you had to go back out with Rosa, yet again the memory of yesterday afternoon reappearing in your mind.

Julius had been very surprised to see you twice in one day, it was usually unheard of yet there you were and your once favourite barista had even more to say, which went in one ear and out of the other because you weren’t confident enough to follow it through.

In a work situation you found spending time with Jake fine, the pair of you worked well and it got the job done, but to approach him socially the very idea made you want to run in the other direction, afraid of rejection or even worse your desk buddy laughing in your face.

This very notion alongside the elevator doors opening super slowly, you welcome the distraction that falls upon you when Boyle appears wearing a pair of white feathery wings, over his work clothes with a silver halo headband to complete the look.

“Is this an undercover outfit or is it Halloween again?” You ask him with a smile as he shakes his head with an excited giggle.

“I was just checking out lost property and came across these wings don’t they look good!” Boyle explains with a wink and a wiggle of his shoulders, as if he was about to take off in flight.

“They look something-“

“Boyle, if I can’t say the things that are occupying my thoughts right now I’m gonna go insane!” Gina cuts in with an exasperated look on her face but clocking you it changes instantly.

“Wow, you look so bad can I talk about just how bad you look right now instead?” Gina shouts grabbing onto your arm, whilst ignoring the phone at her desk which was ringing loudly.

“Please don’t-“

“Boyle please take off that outfit it’s distracting others.” Terry asks with a sharp look at his colleague, desperately trying not to laugh which was proving hard so he turns around instead.

“I can’t work in these conditions!” Gina yells as she stalks back over to her desk, snatching the offending phone up off its cradle in record speed.

Boyle was definitely on some kind of high all morning, seeing how he still hadn’t removed those damn wings which had now put Terry in a bad mood, yet the officer persisted much to your annoyance.

Gina meanwhile was sending messages to the group chat that even had Boyle in, so he could read her hurtful words as she went full-Linetti, giggling as she furiously typed on her keyboard with the whole office rolling their eyes.

You smirk to yourself as you start to think of Jake defending Boyle, at first of course but then even adding a few teasing comments himself, because he never went as far as Gina nobody could ever match her sarcastic prowess even you it truly was a gift sometimes.

Luckily Holt was out of the office for meetings which meant that Terry was in charge, trying to control Boyle who was truly in such an annoying mood, which is proven when the sergeant carries the smaller officer off into the break room with apparent ease.

“Can you carry me around next?” Gina asks Terry from across the office but he fails to respond with an answer.

You roll your eyes then notice the look on Rosa’s face, making you stand up from your desk ready to roll because your colleague also looked super pissed, which meant the current investigation they were on had hit a problem.

“I don’t like the alibi that Mrs Rose had and her ex husband is not answering my calls which annoys me as you know.” Rosa states as you hit her desk with a simple nod.

“I didn’t believe that Bobby hated her ex husband as much as she said-“

“Always the romantic!” Cuts in Rosa with a snort as she grabs her phone and they start heading out.

“Yeah but not in real life.” You retort with a sigh watching as Boyle reappears in the office, finally without his wings but he is now on a private call with a huge grin on his face…

Standing outside of the coffee shop Jake regrets a lot of things, from being here in the first place to drinking way too much alcohol last night, he had a lot on his mind and somehow it all came back to you his desk buddy.

Having just spoken with Boyle who confirmed you were both in the office, and in a good mood Jake recalled the conversation he had with his best friend at the bar, finally admitting that someone was on his mind a lot but working together with them was a negative obviously.

Cue flashback to Jake dating another cop from a different precinct, him bringing officer Collins to the nine-nine and it being a huge disaster, them working together had been conflicting to the relationship especially seeing how neither of them were on the same page.

“Me and Jake are going to start looking at places soon-“

“But my apartment is so cheap!” Cuts in Jake noticing the look on Boyle’s face as Emily rolls her eyes.

“Yes, but you need a kick in the right direction and I’m just the girl to do it!” Emily states firmly catching the attention of Terry who walks over.

“I get a say in this-“

“Couples should talk things through how long have you two been together?” Terry cuts off Jake.

“Barely three months-“

“Over seven actually.” Emily informs Jake with a glare as he tries to smile an apology, but the look on her face was really something.

“It’s still early days we’re just having fun right?” Jake questions but again it’s the wrong one when Emily literally stamps her foot on the ground.

“I want a relationship not a fuck buddy-“

“Some people are actually trying to work here!” Y/n yells from across the pen, with a pointed look on her face.

“I think we should take this outside.” Jake nods at you and then addresses Emily again who has her mouth set in a thin line.

“Is it worth it? I think we should just break up-“

“What here right now!” Jake interjects with a hint of sarcasm, knowing that he should’ve gone with his detective gut all along.

“Yes, get out-“

“Er, this is my place of work.” Jake snorts turning round to look at you, but you’re hiding behind a thick purple binder.

“Ok, so I will leave then!” Emily shouts angrily.

“What is happening-“

“I’m leaving and you won’t see me ever again Jake, this was supposed to be a good day and I was willing to wait for you to grow up but here we are.” Emily snaps back.

“There is nothing wrong with Jake but it’s obvious you two are mismatched, let me show you out.” Boyle states in an adult voice that makes Jake go still, and Emily nod in agreement as he finally leaves the pen.

“Nothing to see here move along!” Jake calls out when he notices Terry, Gina and even you reappear from behind your binder.

“That was a lot.” Gina begins with a chuckles as she elaborates that “I should know but damn it Jake you don’t meet potential dates at work.”

“Hey, I met one of my ex wives here-“

“See! Do you want to end up like Hitchcock I think I already know the answer to that.” Gina explains with a knowing smile on her face.

“The answer is of course yes!” Laments Hitchcock with a knowing grin.

“I need to get out of here.” Jake groans because it was his day off after all, and now he suddenly had some free time on his hands.

“Have you not gone in there yet?” Boyle questions quickly alerting Jake, who had been locked down in his own thoughts.

“Clearly I’m waiting for you-“

“I can’t believe that we are actually doing this!” Boyle exclaims happily talking over Jake with excitement in his eyes.

“You are doing this Boyle I’m not going in there you just need to get some intel.” States Jake diplomatically.

“This feels like we’re back in high school exchanging letters in class and I’m here for it-“

“Cut it out! Just go in there and get some coffee’s, but one has to have extra caramel syrup don’t forget.” Jake informs Boyle who smiles happily back.

“I can’t wait to see y/n’s face when you give her the coffee, and then finally ask her out for a drink don’t forget!” Boyle claps his hands with obvious glee.

“This isn’t like one of those books you read Boyle this is real life.” Jake reminds him with an eye roll.

“But what’s wrong with some romance? You should totally get her flowers as well!” Boyle cries out whilst Jake wishes that he wasn’t here outside the coffee shop.

“Look just get the coffees and we will go from there.” Jake nods firmly, watching with a smirk as Boyle puts on his black sunglasses as if to not look out of place.

“This is insane.” Jake reminds himself softly because he hadn’t dated anyone since Emily, and to go back on his word and meet someone at work once again…

You stand outside the closed up jewellery store with Rosa cursing by your side, Mrs Rose was supposed to be here a timeline needed to be established again, and her ex husband Keith needed to return their calls for further questioning.

Rosa had put out a call for someone to collect Keith if need be, but standing outside the store was getting boring very quick, you try and start a conversation but your colleague changes the pace.

“Do you know what’s fun? Hooking up with someone because I had one hell of a time last night.” Rosa states with a confident nod of her head.

“Rub it in-“

“I do have a lot of cleaning up to do when I get back home.” Rosa informs you with a grin when she clocks the look on your face.

“Ok enough!” You retort back with an eye roll.

“All I’m saying is if you’re free tonight, why not ask a certain single detective slash idiot out with you?” Rosa questions with a laugh at the pure simplicity of it all because that shit was easy as hell.

“Jake is working late-“

“That’s a stupid excuse.” Rosa sighs but before she can say anything else, a commotion causes them to follow the loud noise, arguing down the side of the short red brick building.

You recognise the suspect Bobby who was wearing a blue baseball cap covering her face, but you registered her voice right away shouting at the man next to her, who was holding a shiny black gun in the air high above his head.

“Drop the weapon!” Rosa shouts which causes them both to look round, whilst the guy attempts to hurriedly yank open the back door.

“Don’t move.” You state back at the same time that Bobby bursts into tears, and the guy next to her snaps and starts running.

He still has the gun in his hand so you set off chasing after him, to the very end of the alleyway where he tries to climb up a fire escape but he can’t reach it, so you pull on his leg to get him down both falling into a large pile of disgusting rubbish bags.

“Get off me bitch!” The guy shouts but you manage to swiftly apply the handcuffs, ignoring his curse words as you read him his rights out loud.

Rosa nods as you eventually walk back up with the guy in custody and a cop car appears moments later, depositing both the guy and Bobby who wasn’t crying anymore but looked super pissed instead, yet none of that mattered right now because it was time to go back to the precinct and book them job done.

“Mrs Rose has just told me that her ex husband is still in the building, another car is coming by in a minute and there are some guys inside right now checking the whole area.” Rosa informs you with a simple nod.

“So you think it was an inside job? Claim on the insurance.” You ask Rosa who again nods in the affirmative.

“We will need to interview them of course, but it appears that Mrs Rose was trying to get help from her ex husband for some insurance money.” Rosa explains because the women had become very chatty, especially when you had run off to catch the other perpetrator.

“Another day-“

“Another set of idiots.” Rosa continues with a scoff but then pulls as face as she asks “Do you smell that?”

“Oh, that’s me I was rolling around in the trash it’s all in a days work.” You retort with a smirk.

“You definitely need a shower-“

“I kinda like it.” You joke back with an eye roll aimed at Rosa, as you watch another man finally exit the shop with two cops either side of him.

“Let’s get back to the precinct, unless you want to go and grab two coffees-“

“No way.” You interject with a shudder as you choose a car to hop into for the quick drive back to the precinct…

Standing at the empty counter Boyle notices the guy called Julius, going by his name badge and wow was this man attractive, the thought makes his heart sink as he thinks of Jake outside.

But then Charles recalls in a short montage that only he can see of Peralta and you, both laughing as you talk together at your desk, Jake watching you reading your book with coffee in hand, then finally eyes meeting from across the pen as if neither of you were far from the others thoughts this guy couldn’t match up to that kind of chemistry…

“What can I get you?” Begins Julius arching an eyebrow at the guy wearing the sunglasses inside as he adds “Specials are on the board and I would highly recommend the macchiato today.”

“Can I just have three latte’s with one that has extra caramel syrup in my good sir.” Boyle replies nonchalantly, but not without turning round to reward Jake with a thumbs up.

Julius of course notices this followed by the badge number pin on this guys tie, he couldn’t be more of a cop which makes him wonder if this was in fact Jake, the object of y/n’s affection one of his best customers on the block.

“Did you say one latte with extra caramel syrup someone has a sweet tooth!” Julius smiles back at the guy in front of him who just nods playfully.

“It’s for a colleague of mine back at the precinct er, I mean the office I’m trying to sweeten them up actually if you must know.” Boyle replies almost giving away where he works but remains cool in his efforts.

“You’re sweet on someone!” Julius grins playing into the playful and sugary theme that had organically started between them.

“I could use some advice really if truth be told.” Boyle nods looking down as the barista starts to operate the large coffee machine next to him.

“I’m all ears, but one moment please.” Julius smirks as he starts to prepare the coffee’s, flicking switch’s and a loud hissing noise that makes the guy in front of him jump.

Boyle is watching this guy working fast as he operates the machine like it was a part of him, lost in his own thoughts until he notices the barista watching him back, an inquisitive smile appearing on his handsome face.

“So, what’s the deal then?” Julius asks the guy who calls himself Charles as he starts to talk at hyper speed.

Jake can see that Boyle is talking at ease with the barista, who looked like he worked in a coffee shop by day, but by night he was behind a bar talking it up over happy hour with women all around him.

Again Jake reminds himself how ridiculous this is because either way, he didn’t have a chance seeing how y/n would let him down some way, or even worse this sexy barista would tell him to back off and that would be that.

Noticing suddenly that Julius had walked round from the counter, to stand closer to Boyle was when Jake had realised that something was about to go wrong, so he reacts by swinging open the green door to finally make his presence known.

But Jake pulls a confused face when he spots Julius nudging Boyle hard on the shoulder, the pair of them laughing heartily at something until they both look up, and he suddenly realises that it’s him he’s the butt of the joke right now.

“What’s happening-“

“Julius is on our side!” Cuts in Boyle with a smile as he elaborates that “The name and number on the cup were just a ruse for you to do something Jake.”

“Oh, so you’re Jake?” Julius questions giving an appreciative glance over at a still confused looking police officer.

“The one and same how do you know about me?” Questions Jake arching an eyebrow at Boyle who grins back.

“Now that would be telling.” Begins Julius with a smile as he heads back round to the coffee machine adding “But I feel you’ve already figured it out seeing that you’re finally getting the coffees for once.”

“This is adorable-“

“Shut up, Boyle.” Jake deadpans in a dark voice heading back outside, holding the door open for an old couple who both nod their thanks.

“He’s almost as stubborn as y/n is!” Julius chuckles which make Boyle nod back in agreement.

“Short of knocking their heads together or better yet locking them in the briefing room, they need to just figure this out for themselves.” Boyle states wisely which causes Julius to roll his eyes over dramatically.

“Why make things so difficult?” Julius questions with a sarcastic tone, watching his next customers who were hugging one another closely.

“Love isn’t as simple as the movies make it out to be.” The woman chimes in with a friendly smile, looking up at the grey haired man next to her who winks happily back.

“But it’s a lot of fun along the way when it happens!” The man reminds his wife with a soft smile one that makes Boyle cluck happily in the background.

“Drinks up!” Julius calls as he places them down on the counter, holding one back as he looks up at Jake who was still outside the door.

“Perfect, let me grab a tray-“

“I can help!” Julius cuts off Boyle as he calls out for another barista, a young woman named Violet who had the same coloured hair as her namesake appearing stage right.

Boyle grins as he leads the way outside with the barista following behind, only when Jake spots him he lifts up his chin glancing away defiantly, pretty much looking like he was sulking right this second.

“Y/n will really appreciate this.” Julius tells Jake with a wink, holding out the drink for him to take which he does, whilst muttering something that sounded like a thank you.

“Then you can finally ask your desk buddy out at last-“

“For the love of god please!” Julius begs cutting off Boyle as he even places his hands together, holding them up in a silent plea in front of them both complete with a wide grin on his face.

“I think that’s a sign Jake.” Boyle jokes with a giggle whilst his best friend nods back with his eyes closed.

“This is all getting out of hand.” Jake sighs aware that too many people were now invested in this, his dating life and of course yours which if he played his cards right could soon become one…

Attempting to drink from one side of your mouth was already getting super old, all this hassle because your bottom lip was currently swollen and split like an overdone hotdog, courtesy of Mrs Rose hitting you with her elbow back in the interrogation room.

It hadn’t been enough that both Bobby and her ex husband Keith, were seated next to one another whilst the third guy was still awaiting his own interview in due time, but angry words shouted between the ex lovers had caused you to get caught in the cross line a direct punch to the face being your reward.

Which was a pretty good estimation of how today had gone, all because you hadn’t visited the Bean Stalk things had all turned to shit, you were thankfully clean now after a cold shower in the changing rooms but there was the whole gnarly lip thing to contend with next.

Having left Terry and Rosa to get answers from the couple that deserved one another, turns out that it wasn’t only a cut and dry fake insurance claim but the shop was also part of a money laundering scheme as well, all within the walls of the deep cellar which was a pretty obvious place to have it you decide to yourself.

But that didn’t matter right now all because it was finally the afternoon, only both Boyle and Jake were not here in the office which made you feel jittery despite the severe lack of coffee, but you were happy of course that the case was practically closed and you were back at your beloved desk.

Mid way through filling out your report which was reminding you where it had all gone wrong, Amy hands you a injury report form which had caused you to giggle at the stupidity, the movement causing your lip to spilt and bleed yet again of course.

Which was why you now had your mouth partly stuffed with a tissue, giving up completely on drinking when all you wanted right now was a sugary coffee, but instead you were staring down at the injury report which was ridiculous yet mandatory.

Suddenly hearing music being played from somewhere you look up to glance at Gina, a usual culprit for hosting impromptu dance parties at her desk, claiming that it either helped her mind or she was readily showcasing some new moves for her latest dance trope.

“Oh that’s a dope song-“

The chorus to a popular Whitney Houston jam was being played out currently, by a Bluetooth speaker that was held aloft by none other than Boyle, who was back to wearing his feathery wings with an extra wide smile plastered across his face.

“I get so emotional baby, every time I think of you!” Sings both Whitney and Gina but only one of them is out of tune right now.

“What is all the commotion, Boyle do I need to write you up?” Holt appears from his office shouting at Charles who instantly drops the speaker onto the floor.

“Er, no it’s all good captain sir!” Boyle shouts seconds after picking up aforementioned speaker, then saluting at Holt who just walks back into his office silently.

“Silent burn, wow there’s no recovering for that my little sugar plum!” Gina states with a loud laugh, wiggling her shoulders as if the music from moments ago was still playing.

“I’m Cupid Gina not a fairy.” Retorts Boyle in a sulky voice.

“I hope that you’re not wearing a diaper right now!” Gina quips back with another loud laugh, one that both Hitchcock and Scully join in with on cue.

“Let’s leave some mystery please, but if you must know I did try and buy some-“

“Boyle, please don’t finish that sentence for us.” Terry begins in a firm voice but it descends into giggles as he adds “ Leave your kinks at the door please officer.”

“Don’t kink shame me!” Boyle retorts loudly but then lowers his head, muttering something to himself as he returns to his desk sitting atop it grumpily.

What a day and you still had the rest of the afternoon to watch unfurl, because there was never a dull moment in this place and time had its own agenda, you think whilst giving the injury form on your desk the stink eye.

Glancing back at Boyle who was still talking to himself as he checked out the speaker, it looked a little dented on one side but he shrugs, then noticing you watching he winks back an overexcited smile appearing in slow motion.

Watching him as he drops the speaker in favour of a white styrofoam cup, which briefly makes you freeze until you realise a lot of places use them, surely Boyle hadn’t gone to Bean Stalk of all places he was a particular type of foodie.

He knew about all the best places in Brooklyn even boasting about them on his blog, the one that you should look at someday but right now wasn’t the time, because you still had this stupid form to fill in and Boyle was really getting on your nerves with his giggling.

White cup still in hand he gets a call through and talks to someone quietly on his desk phone, leaning back against his chair with a smug smile now on his face, making you feel like Boyle was up to something when clearly you were just overthinking everything as per usual.

Cue flashback to grabbing some doughnuts from your favourite place, having bypassed breakfast you had become hangry and in need of some carbs, so with two boxes in your hands you headed to the precinct.

The shop which was aptly named Voodoo doughnuts, had helped you with a case the manager answering questions to an incident that happened across the street, so you were friendly with the staff and besides their food was absolutely delicious.

As soon as you had placed the boxes down on your desk, you’d caught the interest of both Hitchcock and Scully, also Boyle who had taken one look at the purple coloured box and scoffed out loud.

“What’s wrong-“

“Voodoo is so overrated.”Boyle tutted at you as if you should know better.

“If you don’t want any Boyle I will!” Jake nods leaning forward in his desk with a grin on his face.

“Of course Jake.” You nod back happily feeling your face flush, which your desk buddy doesn’t notice but of course Boyle did because he never missed a single thing.

“Oh I get it.” Charles giggles softly as he looks from you to Jake with a smirk.

“Get what? That you’re being weird-“

“No I’m just watching something unfold right now and I have front row seats.” Boyle declares cutting off Jake who rolls his eyes in your direction.

“Ok, then.” You reply awkwardly avoiding Boyle who was batting his eyelashes, in favour of opening one of the purple boxes.

“Can we have one as well?” Scully questions with a smile on his face.

“Sure, they are for anyone besides Boyle who has far too good taste buds for these doughnuts.” You reply with a sarcastic grin.

“His loss.” Hitchcock declares making grabby hands whilst you issue out two doughnuts for the oldest officers on your team.

“Now it’s my turn.” Jake looks up at you from under his thick eyelashes, which clearly does something to your brain when you forget how to speak.

“What’s happening here?” Amy asks with a smirk noticing the look on y/n’s face, accompanied by the smirk on Jake’s which was a pretty cute moment.

“I think they’re about to make out right there on the desk.” Declares Hitchcock with an amused snort, one that breaks the spell between you and Jake almost instantly.

“Don’t be rude-“

“Our first kiss wouldn’t be here.” Jake announces with a scoff but then, attempts to flip it back when he hears what he’d just said out loud.

“This is too cute-“

“Shut up, Boyle!” Both you and Jake retort in unison much to everyone’s delight, the doughnuts forgotten about as you go to one side to the pen and your desk buddy takes the other hiding a goofy smile on his face.

Lost in your own thoughts you suddenly feel super hungry and in need of a beverage, having skipped food for this stupid form and to tend to your broken lip instead, the taste of metal still present on your tongue what you wouldn’t give for some decent coffee right about now…

Spotting y/n at her desk Jake tries to walk slowly over but then gives up, resuming a normal pace as he tries to look nonchalant, despite his heart hammering in his chest and the feeling that this was all a very terrible idea.

What if he had got things wrong or even worse Julius the barista had lied to them, there was no way that you liked him this was a precinct not high school, but this moment in time was pretty reminiscent of another back in his youth.

Only then did he have longer hair and a pizza face, using his humour to hide the fact that he was from a broken home but that didn’t matter right now, because he was way more confident than the teenage version of himself or so he had always assumed.

…this was it!

“For you, madam.” Jake begins with a hint of shyness in his voice, one that he stubs out as he then places the coffee on your desk confidently adding “ I think it’s about time that I bought you a coffee in return.”

Not even looking up at Jake you stare at the tall styrofoam cup instead, the one brandishing the green Bean Stalk logo which makes you then glance up at your desk buddy, who takes a step back when your eyes finally meet.

“You have something on your mouth-“

“Ohhhh no.” You mutter as you hastily take out the tissue, which had spots of dry blood on it as you wish to somehow disappear.

“What happened to your lip?” Jake asks dark eyes full of concern, as he places a hand under your chin to lift your face up heat illuminating your cheeks on cue from his touch.

“Long story-“

“Let’s go talk outside then.” Jake cuts you off as he rolls his eyes and glances beside him, to where Boyle was now standing with a huge grin on his face looking like he was about to explode.

“Off outside together and all alone!” Boyle declares in an excited voice, whilst the rest of the team had at least been trying to act subtle despite watching things unfold in real time.

“Boyle, at ease!” Amy snaps angrily then nods encouragingly at you, as if the camera was rolling and the penultimate scene everyone wanted could finally play out at last.

“I do need some fresh air.” You inform Jake getting up from your seat, grabbing the coffee that your desk buddy had bought just for you, which now made a smile spread across your face.

…which of course makes your lip split open attractively once again the taste of metal stinging your tongue.

Licking your bottom lip you briefly wished that your appearance was better, rather than damp hair and a swollen lip but this was the best it was gonna get, now wasn’t the time to overthink things you did have a coffee in your hand after all.

Noticing Gina give you an over exaggerated wink from across the pen, and then Amy closely follows this with an encouraging nod you finally stand up from your desk, following Jake happily out onto the balcony area for a talk because this was definitely the right moment.

Only then do you notice Boyle with his face pressed against the window, having literally shoved his head through a gap in the blind he was now stuck, but then Rosa appears pulling the officer away with an annoyed look on her face.

“Do you think that the whole team is watching us?” Questions Jake with a low chuckle his brown eyes meeting yours inquisitively.

“Most probably, or Boyle is telling them what we’re saying because he can read lips.” You smirk back flinching at the same time when your own stings in protest.

“So, how bad is the other guy?” Asks Jake motioning to your lip with a concerned look framing his features.

“Got caught in the cross fire between a scorned woman and her ex husband it’s all in a days work.” You reply with a shrug but Jake is still glancing down at you with worry in his eyes.

On cue you explain the case with Rosa and what had happened, even the part where you had caught the guy in the trash bags and arrested him, omitting the part about having to need a shower because of the stray banana peels you’d found inside your jacket somehow.

“Well you look like a badass with your badge of honour, AKA the swollen lip it’s kinda cute on you y/n.” Jake nods with a playful smile aimed in your direction.

“Watch out Peralta it sounds like you’re using a line right there.” You inform him with a roll of your eyes as he arches one of his eyebrows right back.

“Maybe I am or maybe, I’m just telling you that you look cute.” Jake replies with a sidelong look that causes you to choke on your sip of warm drink.

“Thanks for the coffee by the way!” You nod back shyly glancing back at the window, but thankfully there was no one there.

“Well I think it’s about time that I actually owe you a coffee and extend a heartfelt thank you.” Begins Jake with a smile which changes into a laugh as he adds “I just had to go and check out the Bean Stalk for myself.”

“That’s sweet-“

“I met your favourite barista by the way!” Jake interjects with a wry grin as your eyes widen at the same time.

“Oh?” You reply noncommittally ignoring the smile that spread happily across your desk buddy’s face.

“Yeah, he had a hell of a lot to say about you but he was glad that I’d finally showed up for once.” Jake states his brown eyes watching you very carefully as he talks about the digits he had found on his styrofoam cup.

“I didn’t even know that he’d written something did Julius really do that?” You question with both confusion and embarrassment colouring your face a soft pink.

“Yes and it made me so jealous-“ Begins Jake in a low voice clocking the loud gulp you make as he continues by saying “I had to enlist Boyle to help me get you a coffee, and see who my competition was but turns out it was just me battling against myself.”

“At least you got the coffee I hope Julius was easy on you-“

“Oh totally the opposite but it made me see what I was fighting for, and I want to stand in your corner if you will let me.” Jake tells you in a voice that has excited butterflies fluttering in your stomach, unless that was because you hadn’t had any lunch.

“Of course I let you we work together-“

“Sure, but I kind of meant outside of work like us having a date styles.” Jake cuts you off with that playful look pinning you in your place as his words finally sink in.

“You’re asking me out on a date?” You ask Jake who silently nods and you follow suit, both wearing ridiculous smiles on your faces.

“Tomorrow night let’s go for a drink-“

“Hopefully I will be able to use my mouth better by then.” You cut off Jake whose brown eyes crinkle with glee whilst you attempt to backtrack what you’d just said.

“You know what I mean-“

“Detectives, what are you both doing out here?” Questions Holt as he leans against the exit door then motions back to the window where at least five other officers are standing and waving at them.

“Oh captain we were just discussing a case-“

“Actually I was asking officer y/n if she would like to accompany me on a date tomorrow evening.” Jake cuts you off with a quick nod aimed at the Captain who remains poised.

“A bit long overdue Peralta but can you both get back to work after y/n answers your question.” Holt nods back a brief smile appearing on his face, as he turns round to rally the rest of his team.

“So that was awkward but if you don’t want to join me for a drink date or it doesn’t even have to be that it could be any date-“

“I’d love to join you for a date.” You cut him off before Jake spirals a look of relief flooding his handsome face.

Hearing banging on the window the pair of you look to see Boyle and Terry, both of them grinning manically as you slowly take a happy sip from your coffee, feeling Jake watch you sends a shiver down your back.

“I really wanna kiss you but right now isn’t-“

Projected purely by instinct and the knowledge that you were both on the same page, you rise up on tip toes and place a soft kiss on Jake’s cheek which makes him look down, then like the plus side of magnets you both move closer to one another pulled by an electric force of emotions…

“Do I need to have HR on standby?” Terry questions now standing at the door that captain Holt had just vacated, strong arms folded but a cheesy grin on his amused face to show he was just joking.

“Not yet Terry.” Jake explains with a wink aimed in your direction, as you both walk over to the sergeant who finally steps aside to let you inside.

“Wait for it.” You state quietly glancing around the pen which was back in action, what with Boyle on the phone and Gina reading a glossy magazine zero focus aimed at the two detectives.

Not even Hitchcock or Scully who were both eating hotdogs collectively, various condiment stains on both their face and shirts which was a regular occurrence, usually pointed out by Amy who you notice was grinning in your direction.

“I thought we would at least get some acknowledgment.” Jake questions in your right ear making you look away from Santiago, to glance back at Peralta with a firm nod.

The pair of you return to your desks together eyes glued on one another, Jake is the first to look away with a smirk which turns into shock when he spots Boyle, causing you to look around and almost knock your coffee over as a result.

Seeing that Boyle was back to wearing his wings again shaking his butt as he started to dance, then on cue Gina cranks out a Beyoncé song on her phone which truly sets the officer off, arms high above his head as he continues to shake his groove thing.

“Party time!” Scully shouts as he stands from his chair excitedly, throwing his medicated talc powder high in the air, which of course proceeds to cover Hitchcock who starts to choke on the air.

“What is wrong with you?!” Gina shouts switching off the music from her phone.

“Somebody help him!” Scully announces taking the bottle of water from Boyle’s hand as he opens the lid hurriedly.

“Can we please get back to work now everyone?” Holt asks in a tone that suggests everyone gets back to their desk which they do in record time.

“Nothing else to see here move along.” Boyle announces whilst Hitchcock drinks hungrily from the bottle, and Scully hits him on heartily on his back.

“That was some party!” Scully chuckles as he shakes his head with amusement at his best friend’s close call.

“Was that the right amount of acknowledgment you wanted to see?” You ask Jake in your seat across from your desk buddy, the guy of your dreams and possible future all in one package.

“It’s on trend.” Jake nods with a grin aimed right back at you his desk buddy, looking forward to the date and possibility of more.

“You guys are so cute I’m about to cry!” Boyle cries whilst clapping both his hands together, excited and happy as tears fall down his face.

“That’s what I was expecting.” Jake grins whilst pointing at his best bud who is now wiping fresh tears on the back of his hands.

“It’s a great way to end the day.” You reply with a sidelong look at Jake who winks back playfully.

“Just wait until I take you out.” Begins Jake who then hastily adds after hearing what he’d just said “On a date, I meant on a date I’m not gonna try and kill you or anything.”

“Definitely good to know-“

“Oh my god get a room!” Gina yells in obvious disgust as she sashays past their desk her nose scrunched in annoyance.

“That’s definitely gonna become a regular thing now.” Begins Jake with a grin until he hears himself yet again backtracking immediately “I mean the teasing not us getting a room or anything!”

“Of course let’s not jump ahead too quickly Peralta.” You inform him with a laugh right after you clock the look of surprise on his face.

“Keep things slow and steady-“

“Well not that slow.” You cut off Jake leaning back in your chair to take a large gulp of now cold coffee, which you overshoot and instead pour down your chin and patterned blouse.

“Wow, you sure know how to drive a guy crazy y/n.” Jake finishes with a goofy grin as he watches you pull out some tissues from your purse.

“I’ve been told that.” You nod back shyly finally going to make a start on the accident form that you’d been avoiding all afternoon.

What a ride the past two days had been not to mention all the previous months you’d spent pining, only to learn that all it took was to make Jake jealous so he could finally see, what was just across the desk from him.

Looking up you spot Jake staring at you only this time he doesn’t quickly look away, in fact your eyes are locked together and it feels as if nothing else matters, besides being in this new bubble with Jake which sounded like a lot pretty fun place to be…

Cue flashback to three months ago AKA the first week of your relationship, both you and Jake walking into the Bean Stalk coffee shop, after he had spent the night at your apartment you both were left in serious need of some caffeine.

Julius performs a double take the moment he spots them both together, stepping from behind the counter with a wide grin on his face, the pair of you smiling back in response whilst the barista places his hands on his waist.

“So you took my advice then?” Julius questions with a smug smile, as he addresses both of the officers in front of him.

“Definitely not-“

“It kinda helped-“

“See, my work here is finally done!” Julius grins back as Jake and y/n talk over one another.

“You interfered-“

“Sent us in the right direction-“

“You guys are so cute!” Declares Julius with a shake of his head followed by a smile, when he notices Jake winking in your direction.

“We know this.” You begin with an eye roll aimed at the barista who nods back emphatically so you add “ So can we have the usual plus less of your teasing.”

“These coffees are on the house but only if I can wind you up for the foreseeable-“

“That’s my job!” Cuts in Jake with a laugh feeling on top of the world and it had only been one week.

“One Jake is enough.” You deadpan with a nod and a smile at Peralta whose eyes crinkle happily.

“On that note I better start your order-“

“Before that.” Begins Jake with a smirk as he goes on to elaborate by asking “What did y/n say about me was it super embarrassing for her?”

“Hey-“

“A barista never tells but let me just say that she was smitten, all she ever spoke about was her desk buddy who happened to be you.” Julius cuts you off to lament your feelings which wasn’t even a close enough estimation of how you had truly felt.

“Smitten, noice!” Jake states with a goofy grin and even a fist pump in the air with his left hand.

“I am never gonna hear the end of this am I?” You question with an arched eyebrow whilst both Jake and Julius shake their heads in the negative…

Lucky you!

[clownsnake]

guys. Astarion wasn’t literally considered a child when he was 30. Among elves he was clearly seen as Of Age to do adult things like drink and live independently and fuck and pay taxes. its just that elves have a stupid extra concept of adulthood that doesn’t MEAN adulthood in a literal sense. has nothing to do with physical or brain development. not even necessarily emotional development, but it kind of is depending on how u interpret it, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

basically elves in the forgotten realms trance instead of sleep (we know this) and until around age 110, during their trances they “dream” of their past lives (I’ve only seen a few ppl who know this, but idk if they also knew it stops at a certain age). They then stop dreaming of their past lives naturally, and it’s generally considered kinda traumatic to go through bc well. you’re losing what has been a fundamental part of yourself for so long.

I interpret that as being like a “shared trauma maturation stage” where instead of elves brains literally becoming more adult, losing the guidance of their past lives feels like more of a final step towards independence to them. and adulthood is just the closest social experience to this stage of being “truly on your own”

around 30-40 they get a “first reflection”, which is when their dreams start having experiences from their current life. (Makes sense for Astarion having a dream about Cazador in origin runs that prompts the biting scene) And then the loss of past life memories at 100-110 is called the drawing of the veil.

Tl;dr Astarion was a young adult by elf standards stop infantilizing him PLEASE

Getting into headcanon land now, feel free to draw your own conclusions from here.

i imagine older elves kind of have a sense of being more “mature” than under-110 elves in the way tht people comparing their trauma tend to do. Like “u think ur so smart and worldly but you haven’t even been through half the shit I’ve been through.” PATRONIZING that’s the word I’m looking for, it’s patronizing. And since every elf goes through this, they just kind of assume that yeah, going through this trauma/emotional loss IS a big step towards being a full adult. so it’s like if the concept of adult had a Pokémon evolution that didn’t involve getting wrinkly and hair loss and going through menopause or erectyle dysfunction. Adult 1.5 steam update.

I have no clue if Astarion would have the drawing of the veil as an undead elf. The fact that he even has dreams shows that being revived as a vampire keeps certain bodily functions running, mainly anything relating to the brain and consciousness, but idk if it would keep him physically at 30 or let his brain change.

Although hold on, in the epilogue where you’re a mind flayer and considering eating Astarions brain, you get narration that’s like “ooohh his brain part that handles senses must be sooo wrinkly” which would only be caused by the shit he went through post-vampirification. Meaning his brain Would be able to change and “mature”. But that’s also just an assumption that mindflayer!tav/durge is making.

k I looked it up. The exact quote is “Astarion’s sweet brain may be a bit less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw.” Hilarious, he canonically gets called smooth brain. Anyway if u kill him I don’t think you get to eat his brain, withers just banishes you asap lmao. So we don’t actually know if his parietal lobe changed over his un-life! I’d wager it did though, based on his “don’t touch me” selection line (and probably some other lines hinting towards over-sensitivity tht im forgetting). And change caused by external trauma vs change caused by aging is different anyway.

no conclusion wrt to if he’d reach the drawing of the veil or not. Does it even matter? He’s still the same adult man, who’s gone through far worse hardships than losing memories of his past lives. If he lost his past life dreams too, well then I don’t think that’d make much of a difference for him.

[odinsblog]

i know russians hate putin who runied their county like trump

[re: this post]

I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that wherever there are sham elections, there will always people who do not like it, and a brave few will stand up and resist.

For example, if you search social media for something like “Russia sham election,” you’ll see videos like this:

I fucking love watching these. They showed up and did the damn civil disobedience thang.

And if you search for “Russian fuckery” or “disappearing ink,” you’ll find gems like this, where voters were generously supplied with pens to complete their ballots, but the ink wasn’t permanent and could be easily burned away with a bic lighter. (source) (source)

So yeah, people had every right to be pissed and resist Russia’s sham elections.

A lot of Russian dissidents and Ukrainian citizens in occupied Crimea and Mariupol risked their freedom to protest Putin’s sham election. They quite literally risked everything, and many of them have already been jailed.

So yes, you’re right; I know that there are people who do not like it, and a brave few who will stand up and resist Putin.

BUT … it’s quite impossible to take a full or accurate accounting of how Russian citizens inside of Russia feel, because, 1) Putin and the Kremlin control the media outlets, and journalists are routinely murdered by the Kremlin in Russia, so we won’t ever get a true picture, and 2) dissidents know that they will be harshly penalized (shot, jailed, poisoned, defenestrated, etc) for publicly voicing any serious or prolonged anti-Putin sentiments.

And there are also Russians who are against Putin, but who are not against Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

Unfortunately there are quite a few Russians, like the woman in the video below, who aren’t even in Russia, but who have very clearly chugged the kool-aide and fully believe Putin’s propaganda and disinformation.

SN: No, Crimea/Ukraine was not in NATO, nor was Ukraine even applying for NATO membership when Putin invaded—that is a propagandistic LIE that tankies have stupidly bought into. (source) (source) (source) (source)

So yeah, it continues to worry me that some Russians outside of Putin’s distortion bubble still believe his lies. Again, I know that there are also many Russians who vehemently reject Putin’s lies …. I just don’t know if it’s a sizable majority, or a tiny but vocal minority. My guess is that anti-Putin citizens living in Russia are, unfortunately, a minority.

And this isn’t me dunking on Russian civilians. I live in America. We have similar divisions about countries that our government has invaded. So yeah, I’m in the U.S. and I am also dealing with the exact same flavor of willfully gullible miscreants, who believe anything Trump tells them, and I’ll have to wait until after our general election to see if they are a majority here.

A quick aside, but in the original post, I said I’d be watching to see how tankies addressed the OBVIOUSLY fake sham elections that Putin legitimately “won,” and it’s pretty much what I expected - tankies crawling out of the woodwork to announce that any evidence of coercive tactics was itself fake, or CIA propaganda (filmed in Russia! no less). But I gotta admit that I was lowkey surprised that the usual tankies on tumblr were uncharacteristically on mute. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, Idk where you are, anon, but if you’re in Ukraine or anywhere in the Baltic states or Eastern Europe, please be careful and stay safe. 🫡

[negasonicimagines]

Placebo

REQUEST: Hey! Listen i loved the omega verse requests. But then I was also thinking what about the opposite? Like R is an alpha taking suppressants. And unknowingly she gets off it around the same time yukio is in heat. So Ellie is like this is a shit show and is trying to help R who’s panicking and yukio who just wants both alphas (cuz in yukios mind she’s like finally I can get double the pleasure)

SYNOPSIS: You're the ultimate alpha -- that's your superpower. The downside is, most suppressants are no match for your instincts and urges. You've found a solution in the form of an experimental suppressant being tested on yourself and others like you. Just as you've gotten used to your newfound peace, the meds suddenly stop working. What's worse? Yukio's in heat.

Warnings/Notes: A/B/O, Yukisonic x Reader, Porn With Minimal Plot, Your Past Sexual Experiences are Dubiously Consensual, I Don't Care What Typical A/B/O Dynamics Are - I Do What I Want, Reader (Accidentally) Self-Harms, Lots of Oral, Penetration - Yukio!Receving & R!Receiving and Giving

The ultimate alpha. Stronger, faster, better hearing, better sense of smell, stronger smell, more in tune with your natural instincts… That’s your mutation. Pretty lame compared to reading minds, healing touch, or wings, but it’s yours, and it’s enough for you to be looked upon with distaste by the anti-mutant crowd. 

Normal suppressants don’t work for you – they’re only meant to bring an alpha down to socially-acceptable levels of their innate traits. For you, that would only put you at the level of an alpha without suppressants. Thankfully, though, there’s hope. You’re part of a medical trial with some other alphas who have overactive traits. None of the others are quite at your level, of course, but it’s working nonetheless, and it has been for the past few years. 

You take your pill as needed, no more than one every four hours. Today, though, you’re two hours in and you’re ready to claw Ellie’s eyes out for having your omega the way you’ve always wanted her. 

For omegas, suppressants can cause infertility if they don’t take a break every three months or so, so every now and then Ellie is lucky enough to get to help Yukio through her heats, while you stay away in your old bedroom for the week. You’re too afraid to lose control and give her your bite, something she wants to wait for until marriage, or in the case of the three of you, a commitment ceremony. You’re in full agreement on that, in fact, you wish you didn’t have the bites you do from that period of your life before medication where you had little to no self control. You wouldn’t be surprised if you had a kid or two already, though no one’s reached out. 

It’s the last day of her heat. You sulk in the kitchen. You hoped eating would distract you, but the apple in your hand has been crushed. You eat it anyway, trying to ignore your disgust at its new texture. 

Ellie strolls in, a little flushed and reeking of Yukio’s sweet scent. She smells so much like an omega that you almost want to mount her right then and there. 

“Babe, are you alright?” she asks. “You know you can join us, right? I’m willing to keep an eye on things. ”

“I- I think something’s wrong,” you realize. “It’s not- The medicine’s not- I need to be locked up or something, like before.”

“Really?” Ellie rushes to your side, pressing the back of your forehead. “Fuck, you’re burning up.” She blinks, looking dazed. “You smell, like… Oh, shit, they’re not doing anything at all, are they? It’s so strong, even I want… Shit.” 

She racks her brain for a minute or so, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“We should take you to the bedroom, okay?” she decides, surprising you. “I got something for you a while back, but, I don’t know, you started talking about hating being an alpha in general and I didn’t think you’d want it.”

“What is it?” you wonder.

“A muzzle,” she nervously says, adding with tentative excitement: “No bite risk.”

“Well, that is the number one hurdle,” you admit, feeling your member already starting to extend with her proximity to you. “But then, there’s you to worry about. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I can handle myself. I’ve thought of more than a few ways we could share that you’d like. Let’s… Let’s give it a shot, okay?”

You can smell her fear. Fuck, it smells so good, like fresh strawberries. You can taste it. You cover your mouth and nose, your eyes watering with tears full of shame. You love Ellie, her terror shouldn’t appetize you. 

“It’s okay, baby,” she whispers. “Come on. I’ll grab some more water, then we’ll go.”

Despite her anxiety, she leads you by the hand to the bedroom. You’re trembling. It’s everything you ever wanted and yet you’re so filled with self-disgust for feeling that way – your instincts make you hate yourself for being okay with sharing, your love for them both makes you hate yourself for being such an animal. 

She knocks softly on the door. 

“Yukio, I’m back. I brought a surprise for you,” she tells your shared mate as she opens the door. You hesitantly enter after her, and Yukio’s mouth falls open. “Easy,” she warns, but you’re not sure who she’s warning until she continues: “Y/N’s medicine isn’t working. She needs our help. Your help especially. Are you up for that?” 

Yukio nods as Ellie opens up the black chest where you all keep your collection of toys. She reveals the muzzle, and a growl rumbles in your throat. 

“Sorry, sorry,” you quickly say. 

“I’ll do it,” Yukio offers, getting up from the bed. Sure, you’ve seen her naked before, but never dripping slick down her thighs and radiating pure need. She takes the muzzle from Ellie, meeting your eyes with a sad smile as she approaches you. She caresses your face first. You shudder, torn between closing your eyes and enjoying the sensation of your omega touching you and keeping them open to look at her pretty face. You’re painfully hard. 

The muzzle is more of a leather cage, so thankfully you’ll still be able to smell and maybe even taste certain things, as a finger can fit through the holes. Yukio gently presses it to your face, and you secure the straps. 

“I almost don’t even want this,” she says softly. “Putting this on you like you’re some sort of reactive dog feels wrong.”

“I’d feel worse if I bit you,” you disagree. “It’s okay. It’s kind of comforting, considering- I’m so close to losing it, I-” You don’t know what to say next, thoughts are escaping you one by one as you look into your omega’s eyes. You feel like one or both of you is gonna die if you don’t get started soon. She nods in understanding, stepping back before reclining on the bed. 

“Do you need help with the condom?” Ellie asks, extending the box to you. You take one out, but it looks a little smaller than you remember. Well, they’re supposed to be stretchy. 

You hurriedly take off your pants and underwear. Both of their breaths hitch. You unwrap the condom before attempting to roll it on. It’s uncomfortably tight, but it’s whatever, her safety comes first. Once you get closer to your base, it tears. 

“Uh, shit, sorry, it’s been a while,” you apologize, noticing their wide-eyed stares. 

“And I wear mediums,” Ellie reminds you. “Fuck, it’s been so long since I’ve seen it, I forgot you’d need a bigger size.”

“It’s okay,” Yukio says quickly. 

“No, it’s not,” Ellie reminds her. “You may be on birth control, but it’s safer if we double up.”

“It’s safer right now for Y/N to be inside me. Look at her, she’s trying so hard, but it’s not gonna last forever. If you’re that worried about it, go get some in the right size while we…” Yukio trails off, a smile growing on her face. “Yeah.”

“Totally not gonna let that bruise my ego,” Ellie remarks. “Fine. Just- Be careful, you two, alright?”

“Always,” you breathe. You don’t know how much more of this you can take, Yukio’s propped wide open for the taking. You’re surprised Ellie isn’t already knot-deep in her right now. Her self-control is something you’ve always envied. 

Ellie nods in understanding. 

“C’mon,” Yukio encourages you. You join her on the bed. You want nothing more than to be decent, to cover her in kisses, to lick and nibble on her everywhere she’d let you, but… The muzzle. She sighs sympathetically. “Why don’t you lay down?”

Another growl from you makes her shiver, but you don’t smell any fear, only adoration and a touch of pity. 

“What, you don’t like the idea of knotting my mouth while Ellie fills me up from the other side?” she teases. Oh, oh, that could be good. So good. A trickle of precum dribbles out of you as you smell Ellie’s arousal. Yukio giggles. “That’s what I thought, alpha. You can lay down or maybe even sit up a little right there,” she instructs, and you obey – some might consider it a little odd, but following the whims of your omega isn’t too much of a deviation from your natural instincts. “And Ellie can stand at the foot of the bed. I’ll be bent over it.” 

Now that you’re all in your positions, you assess the situation. Ellie’s behind her, able to keep an eye on both of you. Yukio’s between you, already drooling a little at the sight of you. And you’re… Surprisingly okay, the scents of your mates seem to be soothing you into a more stable state. 

While Ellie undresses, Yukio licks a stripe up your member and you cry out. It’s been so long. You can’t even bring yourself to masturbate, your shame and self-hatred making it hard to maintain an erection. This is different, though. Their acceptance makes living with yourself a little easier. 

She continues to tease you with her tongue before taking you into her mouth. You can smell her wetness so strongly that if you close your eyes, you can almost believe you’re inside of it right now, which would be perfect if you weren’t having to dig your fingernails into your thighs to keep yourself from grabbing her ponytail and thrusting. 

She pulls off of you, lifting her head with a smile. 

“Good girl,” you sigh. “Is it too thick?”

She shakes her head. 

“No, I just forgot to mention that I don’t have a gag reflex,” she chirps. “You’re so sweet, but you’re already holding back enough for me just wearing that.”

“And, uh, just let me know when it’s okay for me to start,” Ellie awkwardly adds. 

“Go ahead, I’m… Just being here with you two is really calming me down,” you share, almost worried that saying it out loud will somehow reverse the effect they’re having on you. It’s never been like this before. Normally, another alpha being near your mate would make you angry enough to strongly consider murder as a viable option. Even the idea of Ellie being with her like this has stressed you out. Seeing it, though, being involved… It feels better. Not just better, but right. 

You watch with bated breath as Ellie eases in. Her shoulders sag with relief, her hands wrap around Yukio’s hips like they were made to be there. And it’s okay. It feels good, even… Maybe because a part of you knows that if you told Ellie to pull out, she would, and she’d understand. She’s still subservient to you on some level, as your lover. 

It’s then that you recall the evolutionary purpose of female alphas such as Ellie and yourself. You still have functional vaginas, so that if there were ever a shortage of omegas… You could breed. You pulse at the thought of being inside her, or her, you. 

“Sweetie, you’re drawing blood!” Yukio yelps, pushing your hand away from your thigh. 

“What’s wrong?” Ellie quickly asks. “I’m sorry, you were staring at me, but you didn’t look angry, so I thought we were doing good. Should I-?”

“No,” you snarl, cutting her off as she starts to back away from Yukio. “Stay right there. I just… We- My thoughts drifted.”

“Is this alright?” Yukio asks, just as concerned despite the need she’s surely having to ignore. 

You nod fervently. 

“I- You guys know I didn’t come here ‘til I was an adult, so I don’t know how comprehensive your sex ed was, but there’s something Ellie and I can do that not a lot of people like to talk about. I started thinking about it.”

“Oh,” Yukio squeaks, her eyes widening. “Oh,” she repeats, lower, with a grin. “I’d certainly like to see that.”

“I- I’m sorry,” you stammer, noticing Ellie’s apprehensive expression. “I’m sure you’d much rather be inside-”

“Wait, you want me to-? To-? You? That’s- That’s totally fine, I’ve just never had anyone or anything in me before. You’re pretty big, so I was more nervous about that, not that I’m against it or anything. I just know we’re having a lot of firsts here and I don’t want to take away attention from you or her.”

“I mean, you can smell it, can’t you? On both of us? We can all take turns being the center of attention. Speaking of, though, we’re not being very attentive to our dear omega. Is there more we need to talk about?”

“I think we’re good,” Ellie agrees, slowly moving her hips back and forth.

You tentatively hold on to Yukio’s ponytail while your other hand grasps the sheets. She bobs up and down your length, taking you both so perfectly. Her increasing moans match the increasing pace of Ellie’s thrusts. Your hips buck, and she groans hungrily, sucking harder. You decide to sync up with the two of them, and the three of you unravel in no time. Yukio takes deep breaths through her nose as your seed pumps down her throat. Ellie’s stays trapped in a condom, of course, but she’s locked inside of Yukio all the same. The latter reaches up underneath your shirt, massaging your breast. 

“Trying to make it go faster?” you tease. “Don’t tell me she hasn’t been feeding you. Is this all you get to eat when you’re in heat?”

Yukio attempts to speak around you, but it’s no use. 

“I make sure she eats, jerk,” Ellie huffs playfully. “She’s just taking advantage of the opportunity. You don’t really let either of us touch you, even when we’re making out.”

“I know,” you sigh. “I just- Ah!” Yukio starts moving her tongue. “I just- Fuck, worry so-ho much about ha-hurting you or going too far, fuck, Yukio, you’re… Perfect, don’t stop, please.”

“I didn’t realize how much she’d like this, every time you moan she squeezes around me,” Ellie informs you, looking a bit winded herself. 

Yukio gently scrapes her teeth against you and you lose it all over again, including your balance this time. Ellie chuckles, before slipping out of Yukio and stepping over to you. She takes the muzzle off.

“El-”

“Someone’s gotta clean this up, and Yukio’s mouth is a little occupied. Wanna help me out?” 

It’s a flimsy excuse – once the condom is off, there won’t be a hint of Yukio on her. She slides her finger against her length before sliding it against your tongue. It tastes like honeysuckle nectar. She pulls the condom off, offering herself to you. If it was literally anyone else’s, you’d bite it off. 

“Never done this before,” you remind her as you prop yourself back up. “Might not be any good.”

“It’s you. That makes it good.”

You’re burning up, so you finally take off your shirt. She bites her lip before she lines herself up with your mouth as best as she can. It’s a little sideways, but at least that prevents it from going too far in too soon. You carefully take her into your mouth. She gives a pleasured sigh in response, stroking your hair and brushing it out of your face.

“That’s it. You like that?” she murmurs.

“Mhm,” you hum. She shudders, her hand tightening in your hair. You feel Yukio’s mouth leave you, but not longer after, you’re inside her once more. You find yourself clinging to Ellie as waves of pressure roll through you. You swallow around her and she chokes on air, holding onto you for dear life. 

“Hol-y fu-cking sh- I’m- That’s so…” Yukio moans, bouncing on you harder. 

“That’s it, baby, touch yourself,” Ellie encourages her, before pulling out of your mouth. 

“Did I-?”

“No, any more of that and I was gonna knot your mouth. Figured you wouldn’t be a fan of that. Besides, your omega needs you,” she clarifies. 

You turn to Yukio, who’s furiously stroking her clit with her eyes forced open and her mouth agape. 

“God, that was so fucking hot,” she whines. “My alphas, so good to each other, so good to me.”

“All for you,” you groan, she’s practically milking you with how tightly her insides embrace you. “Close your eyes, baby, focus on your own-”

She shakes her head. 

“I don’t wanna miss a thing. Needed you like this for so long,” she insists. She smells so good, like petrichor – a euphorically relaxing rainy day wafting through the air. She feels like- Like her, so beautiful and perfect. 

You flip her onto her back and start drilling into her in the blink of an eye, one hand tangled in the hair at the base of her head and the other gripping her hip as you force her to meet your thrusts sooner and sooner. You keep your mouth shut, focusing on that just as much as your other actions. “Oh, fuck, I- Holy fu- Ah, so hard, never- Sorry, fuck, I’m gonna-” her whole body tenses up, a high-pitched noise squeaking out of her like a muted scream. 

“Way to show me how it’s done,” Ellie remarks before giving you a playful smack on the ass. “Didn’t realize you liked it like that, Yukio.”

“Not sure I knew that either,” Yukio pants. “Holy… Wow.”

You beam with pride at your omega’s approval, jaw still clenched as tightly as you can manage. She reaches up, massaging it. 

“So good to me,” she repeats, her hand drifting to the curve between your neck and your shoulder. You’re ashamed as she feels the layers of scarring. Eventually, they’ll fade - they already have significantly, some are no more than marks on your skin. “All mine. I know it’d be hypocritical of me, but-”

“Yes,” you know what she’s asking and you answer without hesitation, leaning even closer to her. 

“Oh, Y/N, I don’t… I don’t want to take advantage of you like they did. Let’s wait until my heat’s over and do it then. Tomorrow, okay?”

Of course. It’s not a true rejection, but it hurts like one nonetheless. 

“I think I know of a way we can prove that she really wants it,” Ellie says, trailing a hand up your back. “Would you want me to bite you, too?”

You nod fervently. 

“At the same time,” you add. “One on each side.” 

“Okay,” Yukio agrees. Ellie gets behind you, leaning forward on your back and wrapping her arms around you. She smells amazing, too, like the sweet smoke of a campfire.  

That’s when it hits you. It’s not that she’s subservient to you – all of your alpha instincts are in overdrive. You want to be subservient to her. When you had her in your mouth, you wanted her like Yukio wasn’t even there, but she was, so it was even better. This is the only kind of relationship that can satisfy all of your urges, isn’t it?

Why didn’t you ever feel like this before? You’ve never had the urge to mate with another alpha… Then again, Ellie’s unique – she has the doe eyes, round cheeks, and petite physique more commonly associated with omegas, the balanced approach of a beta, and the strength and confidence of an alpha. She’s as perfect as Yukio, just in a different way. 

“You’re shaking,” she murmurs. 

“It’s you,” you whisper, scared to admit it. “I- I can’t explain it.”

“Do we need to stop?” she asks, clearly alarmed by your vague declaration. 

“No, I mean… My- I-”

“It’s what she said earlier, about you two doing what alphas do when there’s a shortage of omegas,” Yukio realizes. “With your mutation, you feel it anyways, don’t you? You need her.”

“I- I do, but it’s not like I don’t recognize that you’re here. I love you, and I’m so glad you are. It’s like it’s… Coexisting, even if it’s contradictory.”

Ellie hugs you tighter. 

“Then we better get to it, alpha,” she whispers before pressing kisses to your neck and finding her place. “Right there?”

“Oh, god, yes,” you find yourself begging. “Please.”

Yukio takes the spot you offered to her, and they both sink their teeth in. You gasp in pleasurable pain, hips twitching forward as Yukio flutters around you. 

They guide you out of her and onto your back.

“Wow,” Yukio says softly. They can feel you better now – your needs, your worries, everything. 

“Jeez, your knot’s still pretty full. Wait, Y/N, do you not…?” Ellie trails off, digging in the box for a new condom and rolling it on as quickly as possible. 

“What?” Yukio asks. “I just thought it was bigger, since, y’know…”

“There’s no way you can call her dick bigger than mine nicely. It’s a fact. It’s fine,” Ellie huffs. “Anyways, no, proportionally, it still hasn’t deflated as much as it should be if she’s emptying it regularly. Why haven’t you been?”

“I- I just can’t,” you confess. “I try, but… Please, don’t- I can’t-” If you cry right now, you might actually die of embarrassment. “I hate it so much sometimes, the way I feel.”

“Baby,” Yukio coos. 

“Don’t- You’re in heat, Yukio, I should be fawning over you, not-”

“We’re mates, Y/N,” she argues. “And since I go into heat regularly, it winds down a lot faster. It’s easier to keep a clear head. As your omega, I’m asking you to let us take care of you right now.”

“And as your alpha, I’m demanding it,” Ellie insists, her eyes burning into you. You relent, avoiding them and nodding. 

“That’s it,” Yukio hums. “Relax. It’ll hurt if you don’t.”

Ellie circles to the end of the bed while Yukio remains by your side. The former carefully pushes a finger inside you once the latter starts stroking your member. Oh, wow, that feels so- She curls the finger inside of you and you jolt. Both gasp. 

“Well, if you’re that sensitive, we’ll have this worked out in no time,” Ellie remarks. “You think you can take another finger?”

“Yes,” you agree breathlessly. She pulls her finger out of you, adding another. Your eyes shut tightly, sight is a sense that’s no longer necessary – in fact, it’s too much. “Ah, that’s… Oh.”

“Good?” Ellie offers, chuckling. You nod, your teeth worrying your bottom lip. It’s almost too good. Yukio’s hand tightens around you as she increases her pace. 

“F-f-f…” 

Ellie inserts another finger, preparing you for what’s to come. Is this how omegas feel? It’s spectacular, being so full of someone you love and need so much, knowing they feel the same way. You know you have to treat Ellie to this one day. 

“Ready?” she asks, clearly just as excited about this development. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. She pushes inside you and the dull pain of the pressure is nothing in comparison to the ecstasy of feeling her inside you. Yukio’s hand slows to a stop. “Move, you can move.”

“Goodness…” Yukio mumbles, like something’s in her mouth. You open your eyes to find one of Ellie’s fingers there. Ellie pulls away, cleaning the other two. 

“It’s like… Peaches, or nectarines…” Ellie murmurs. “Right?”

Yukio nods. 

“So good,” Ellie groans, her hips finally rocking. You can feel every inch of her. It’s bliss. The only thing that compares to this is being inside Yukio, whose smile widens as she feels your thoughts drift to her. She starts stroking you again. If what was happening before was bliss, this is indescribable. 

You can’t help the moans and whines being ripped from you as your eyes roll back. They’re downright pathetic, but they seem to fuel both women. 

“Yukio, I want- You’re not gonna feel left out if I…?”

“No, have your moment. I should be touching myself anyways, to get the rest of it out of my system. I get the feeling I won’t last long… My two alphas, gorgeous. I’m so lucky.”

Yukio’s hand leaves you as she leaves the bed, opting for the chair at your shared desk. You whimper, but her hand is quickly replaced by Ellie’s as she adjusts her position, hovering over you. 

“Can I go faster?” she pants. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. 

“Look at me,” she demands. You open your eyes to meet hers. There’s so much love in them. “My alpha,” she breathes. “So strong, taking me so well.”

“My alpha,” you echo. “Feels so good, don’t- Oh, don’t know how I lived without it.”

“I don’t know how I lived without this, either. All of this,” she replies. “How could I even breathe in this room without you here?”

She snarls, angry at her past self’s negligence, before she starts absolutely pounding you. You’re seeing stars in the best way, your hips still lifting to meet her thrusts as she jerks you off. Your hands, paralyzed by surprise, now find themselves clawing at her back hungrily. You get the urge again and redirect your focus to clenching your jaw shut. 

Ellie notices quickly, now bearing down on her elbow to bare herself to you. 

“Do it,” she says.

“But-”

“Do it,” her alpha voice comes out. Its effect ripples through you like nothing you’ve ever felt before: you feel protected, loved, euphoric, but it’s on a completely different level. You pull her impossibly closer, getting a mouthful of her and biting down hard as your pleasure peaks. It’s a good thing you did it, too. The sounds you’re making right now would likely alarm someone unaware of the situation and the last thing you need right now is for someone to bust down that door and rescue you from this. 

You pull away to catch your breath. 

“Good alpha,” she sighs, removing her hand from your member to caress your face. She slows down, but it’s clear she’s not done yet. Evidence of your orgasm is splattered across your chest and hers. She trails a finger up yours, grazing your nipple teasingly. You spasm, and she smirks, tasting you. 

“Can I just say…? That was super fucking hot,” Yukio comments, clearly pleasantly bemused.

“Come here,” you tell her. “I wanna taste you.”

“Oh, uh, our other alpha might not take too kindly to that. Looks like she’s enjoying having both of us as her willing slaves.”

“Please, Ellie,” you beg. “I want both of you inside me.”

“How can I say no to that?” she lifts her head to look at Yukio as she replies before cutting her eyes back over to you. “And how could I deny her your mouth when I know how good it feels?”

Yukio rejoins you on the bed, mounting your face. You explore her folds with your tongue as both girls rock their hips. There’s no word that better describes all this than perfect. Yours, Yukio’s, and Ellie’s moans fill the room as much as your scents do, swirling together in a blend that was meant to be. 

You find yourself clawing at Yukio’s back now. It’s just enough to satisfy your urge to mark her, and she knows it, praising you between whines and whimpers. 

Ellie finishes once more, and you follow. Yukio’s last, Ellie holds her up and keeps her from falling as she quakes. 

“I think… I think that was it,” Yukio pants. “I’m good. You two?”

Ellie nods, as do you. 

“Time for a cuddle pile, then!” she cheers. Each of them nestle in your side as yours and Ellie’s members retract. 

“That was…” you take a much-needed breath. “Perfect.”

“Agreed,” Ellie replies. 

“I’m sorry you were excluded for so long. I know it was mostly your idea, but we should’ve fought for you,” Yukio says. 

“It’s okay. I just hope I can figure out why my medicine stopped working,” you reply. “I mean, I can go off of whatever suppressant I end up trying next for your heats, if you want, but it completely stopped working.”

“Oh my god,” Ellie blurts in realization. “You just got that refill yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, how’d you-?”

“I keep track,” she cuts you off. “They’re placebos, Y/N. Your medicine still works.”

You sigh in relief. 

“I’ll give them a call later and see what can be done,” you decide. “For now, as Yukio said: cuddle pile.”

[slippery-minghus]

System Breach Sunday...! ⭕

#4

Almost instantaneously, as electricity began to trickle in, the build up of pressure seemed to dissipate from Connor’s synthetic nervous system. The supplemental charge was slow, inefficient, unlikely to offer more than a few percentage points per hour if he chose to work while using it—but none of that mattered. The subjective relief that it gave him quite simply overshadowed all practical data. And how could it not—when, for the first time since he’d come out of stasis on the Lieutenant’s kitchen floor, the tension in his shoulders, in his skull, the sharp points behind his eyes finally felt… bearable?

“Connor! There you are!” 

The android snapped to attention, turning sharply to face the source of the voice; almost on reflex, he force-closed all irrelevant thought processes. Surveillance systems were quick to settle however, and routed instead to social modules. 

Detective Ben Collins strode towards Connor’s desk, steaming mug of coffee in hand. He gave the android a full once-over with a scrutinizing look, but then smiled and nodded, satisfied. “You could set a clock to your arrivals, kid. I was starting to wonder if you’d show!” 

Internally, Connor grimaced. Collins was right—he’d arrived to the precinct approximately twenty two minutes later than average. Even after taking into account the distance to the office from Lieutenant Anderson’s home, Connor had not left with adequate time. Ruefully, he suspected that it might not only be his fine motor control that had decalibrated, but his sense of task duration as well. Everything he’d done that morning had taken far longer than it should have. 

Appeasement protocols at the ready, Connor opened his mouth to apologize, “I am sorry for any delay my tardiness may have caused, Detective.”

But Collins, still smiling, waved him off. He took a sip of his coffee, “Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re in one piece. You looked like hell last night! Hank take good care of you after you left?”

Unwelcome memories blistered across Connor’s mind’s eye. “Y-yes,” he stammered. Mentally recoiled. It had been a gross oversight not to prepare responses in his social buffer for that sort of question. 

>”Who’s at the goddamned door so fuckin’ early?” Hank growled, voice gravelly as he leaned out from his bedroom doorway. “It’s seven in the morning! People are tryin’ to fuckin’ sleep!”

>

>Startled, Connor turned to face the Lieutenant. Appeasement protocols stuttered to life before he could voluntarily cue them, and his system was quick to offer a list of data points garnered from the man’s appearance. Most surprising, was the distinct lack of evidence of alcohol. 

>

>”CyberLife has delivered my change of uniform,” Connor began, purposefully benign. 

>

>”Oh, goody,” the Lieutenant rolled his eyes, “If only you’d stop bleeding into them.”

>

>”...I will do my best, Lieutenant. I will only need a few minutes to get ready. What time would you like to leave for the precinct this morning?”

>

>The man scoffed, loudly. “Leave? Are you out of your plastic mind? You have any idea how much sleep your little bender cost me last night?”

>

>Connor opened his mouth, primed to apologize, but forced his jaw to close. 

>

>The Lieutenant continued, regardless, “You’re on your fuckin’ own. Until you get a lead on that case of yours, I’m not leaving this damn house.” 

>

>Connor flinched as the bedroom door slammed. 

>

>”...Very well, Lieutenant.”

“Lieutenant Anderson will be arriving sometime later. He had… other matters to attend to,” Connor supplied, deflecting as best he could. The cut in his right arm twinged, pinching sharply, and he couldn’t help but draw it closer to his chest. Realizing what he’d done, Connor wanted to pull his left arm in as well, to balance his posture and remain inconspicuous—but the cord at his wrist felt suddenly like a tether, a restraint. 

Seemingly unfazed, Collins gave the android a pitying look, “Other matters… I’m sure he does.” After another sip of coffee and shake of his head however, Ben offered Connor a conspiratorial grin, “Wait here, I’ve got something for you.”

Quickly, but not so fast as to spill his cup, Collins strode towards his desk, some dozen feet away. He plucked a small evidence bag from beside his terminal, then returned to Connor. 

“We found this stashed in the last room on that motel’s second floor,” Ben started, showing Connor the evidence bag. Inside was a small, well worn notebook. “No RA9 graffiti or shrines like the other deviants. Just this, a few android repair kits, and a busted mirror in the bathroom. Real freaky stuff.”

[dgknightblue]

Note:

First off, I just want everyone to know the wolf ABO structure was a made up concept that spread before damage control could work affectively.

Secondly, Wolves actually work as an extended family with several generations making up the whole pack.

Thirdly, I don’t ship Deku with Angry Explosion; victim x BULLY THAT TOLD HIM TO KILLHIMSELF IS HORSE SHXT. But you can ship them all you want, I won’t give you grief over it.

Lastly, why do I have to play by everyone else’s ABO rules? I don’t. That’s why I have my own that makes humans stand differently from animals.

Under this line is a ZERO ship ABO Social Commentary BNHA fic idea. No smut. No ships. Just a regular, serious fic idea.

Brain came up with ABO social commentary BNHA fic. Not shipping or mindless smut but a play on how society is even more messed up due to ABO being a part of society. (I was coming out of sleep and I’m not even in the fandom only read a few rottmnt crossover fics and watch analysis videos)

(Wanted to write with the actual names but I can’t spell fxxxxxxxxck)

Deku is having an inner monologue about what’s happen so far (I don’t remember much) and how ABO isn’t a great thing and how hero - not even just hero society- but humanity is set back completely by it.

There is a visual for the audience with deku and kaa-Chan (?? Angry explosion guy??) in beds as a side by side. Deku starts out with out friends and gains them once he was declared Alph and he’s swarmed with people while Kaa -Chan starts out with a few but doesn’t have any until the last panel is a single child being petted on the head by kaa-Chan (likely a younger sibling).

Also to note is All Might was sent to jail or was seen captured and probably killed??? It looked like he was in some kind of suit with the helmet off as he smiled and made a speech (it’s a flashback as Deku is thinking).

Things don’t go 100% beat by beat in canon and are drastically changed. For one Deku is a full hero with a license and is working solo while everyone is in agencies that’s either first responders type or teams.

Hmmm the tags in my head showed no ship tags and this is a purely a story fic of a serious au. No missed characterization or bashing, just people acting like people in a messed up under the surface world of over powered individuals.

Deku… wants to get rid of the ABO gene. It’s hurt so many people in his life. Kaa-Chan was so angry and lonely that he just wanted an outlet. He had a good quirk but no one wanted to take him seriously anymore.

Because Deku had gained so many friends despite being Quirkless yet an Alph that none of them were genuine until JHA and he had All Might’s One for All.

…… note there was some bull of Kaa-Chan not participating in the past hero v villain arc because he wanted a pup with his “girlfriend” but that was a fxcking lie. He is on the villain side and didn’t want anyone to see him kill Sero (who got married and had a pup) to get an important item from him. Sero worked as a security at a highly guarded tech place.

Pup=baby

So Deku was shocked when he encountered him near an abandoned tunnel. He escaped.

Toga had already died as a sad teenager but it was a direct action by (gravity girl) and it fxcked her up. She killed a girl her own age. A crying girl that screamed with so much pain in her heart. They were both betas but one was seen as a monster and the other didn’t understand until after she was gone and she became the “monster”.

Whose died in the past arcs until now:

Grape boy

Laser boy

Midnight lady

Jet legs

Alien girl

Tail boy

Idk but this has affected everyone and changed them and how they see things. They all now see there is a problem. These quirks divide people and ABO dehumanizes them.

There was another thing to factor in. All Mutant type quirked individuals did not have the ABO genes.

This is kept quiet and they are told they are betas with weaker scent glands.

But also…. The heat cycle is not some all encompassing thing, it’s just a longer period with less blood more hormones that affect your mood swings. You’re angrier and more territorial that can drop into a deep depressive state if it’s really bad.

They are humans not animals. We are working with human bodies. Biology of the human shows how we reproduce.

That doesn’t change. Regular human reproduction including the alternatives if someone is infertile.

With how humans are, it’s up to the person if they want to say Heat or Rut, but there is a difference.

Ruts are bouts of hormonal imbalances that can be curbed with medication.

Heats are basically longer periods that last the entire week instead just a few days within the week. It can be debilitating.

Some fics have this Omega obey command thing but no thank you. That goes against the human will and dehumanizes them more. It’s now a fxcking lie in universe to justify mistreatment that was disproven long ago but people love having an excuse to blame their actions.

Humans have sentience. Free will to make decisions for our selves. We have social structures but we aren’t stuck in hierarchies. We have the ability to rebel against mistreatment. All lively beings can act for their own survival and the survival of others.

Is a cat going to let you kick it without fighting back? No. You will bleed if it’s the last thing the cat will do.

Crows are smart enough to REMEMBER grievances and will act accordingly.

Tigers and Elephants with kill you if you wrong them.

Monkeys are vicious in prolonging suffering as a retaliation.

Humans can stab each other out of revenge.

Anyways the fics progresses from senior year of middle school to JHA to Adult hood.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

The Days After

A JSE Fanfic

SepticHeroes AU: Part 16

Previous Part

Originally this chapter was going to be my usual length, but some personal stuff happened this week so I had to cut it short. It’s still pretty long, tho! Because it is so hard for me to write short things haha. Jackie deals with the fallout of the Puppeteer’s attack at the ceremony, and transitions into his full Hero duties. Meanwhile, Schneep visits Jameson, who seems a bit... troubled. Aaaand yeah. Hope you have fun reading :)

===============

Damage control for the ruined welcoming ceremony took a few days to sort out. Jackie got the rest of Halloween off to spend with Chase, as he promised, but after that he spent a lot of time rushing around as Windstorm. He had to hold a press conference! He’d never done that before! It was more than a little nerve-wracking, but he got through it by putting on a smile and pretending to be calm.

Naturally, the city was in an uproar about the Puppeteer. Most of them hadn’t heard of him before, and his way of announcing himself was frightening. A villain strong enough to mind control dozens of people at once, including notable Heroes? Such a thing hadn’t been seen in recent memory. The news was buzzing, social media was alight, and the League was scrambling to keep things under control, reassure people that this was a one-time thing that would never happen again. They told Jackie to go out on patrol more often, and to make sure he was seen. Nothing reassured people like seeing their Hero.

Jackie told himself that with all this patrolling, he was too busy to tell Chase the truth. But he knew that was a lie. He just didn’t want to tell Chase he was Windstorm.

But he didn’t dare voice that out loud. Schneep texted him the day after Halloween, asking, Did you tell Chase yet?

Jackie responded with, No its been one day and also im busy rn.

When will you be less busy?

Idk. Ill tell you when i tell him.

He then proceeded to not contact Schneep for a week straight. Completely ghosting the doctor made him feel a bit bad, but he wanted to avoid the awkwardness that was sure to come—especially in front of Chase or JJ, who might wonder what was going on. How do you just... spend time with someone, knowing they were a super villain?

He could treat Schneep the same way he treated Spitfire Cat: with reluctant trust. But the two situations were completely different. He knew Spitfire as a villain first, but Schneep was his friend before Jackie knew he was the Specter. Trust with Spitfire had slowly grown from nothing. Trust with Schneep was already there, but now it was shakier.

Oh yeah, Spitfire.

On the same day Schneep texted him, Spitfire emailed Jackie again. But he didn’t see it until the next morning when he finally checked the burner email. The subject line was simply Are you alive? 

The following body read You disappeared from the ceremony after the Puppeteer showed up. What happened? I heard you were injured. Is that true? Contact me ASAP. We need to talk about what to do next. Also I don’t want you to be dead.

Oops. Jackie sat down and wrote out his reply. I’m not dead. Surprised you cared enough to send an email, haha. But you’re right, I was injured. I fell through a glass panel and a big shard hit me. I’m alright now, though. I had to leave the ceremony to get treated. If we’re talking about what to do next, we can drop the search for the Specter. I’ve confirmed that he’s not involved with the Puppeteer. That DOES leave us with no leads, I know, but trust me on this. We can figure something else out. I can do my usual hero-ly duties, and you can do whatever you do. Sort of related, where were YOU in all that chaos at the ceremony? I didn’t see you. But I guess it would’ve been hard to pick one person out of there.

He checked the email again that evening and read Spitfire’s reply. I saved your life, you know. There was someone on the balcony with a gun. I pushed it off balance with my solid-heat energy. Anyway. You’re not dead and that’s good. I don’t know how you’re so sure the Specter isn’t involved. Did you talk to him or something? It doesn’t matter. There’s sure to be havoc in certain circles when any new villain announces themself, I’ll keep an ear out for anything. And remember, when the LoH gives you that Semi-Autonomous Machine, you promised to have my friend look at it.

Someone was on a balcony with a gun?! Wait, yes. That made sense. Jackie had forgotten about it in the wake of being stabbed with glass, but the whole chaos of the ceremony had started when some projectile grazed his arm. He still had that cut. And now that he was thinking about it, he did remember a thin red laser-line leading to the overlooking balcony. That could have been Spitfire’s solid-heat energy. But it also could have been a false memory.

Also, Jackie was pretty sure he’d never promised that. He had told Spitfire he would think about it, but he never made any promises. He still didn’t like the idea of giving a Semi-Autonomous Machine—a SAM—to Spitfire or any friends of his.

But...maybe. There was that reluctant trust, after all. He used to think it was a foolish decision to trust a super villain in any capacity. But that was before Schneep turned out to be the thief he was pursuing.

He drafted a reply to Spitfire’s email, but then got a call about a jewelry store robbery and had to fly out. After that, he forgot all about it.

Even though Jackie was an official Hero now, there was still so much to do. Leapfrog was no longer his go-to for League stuff. Instead, she introduced him to his new handler, who went by the codename Magnify. The three of them had a video conference via the Red Line. Magnify turned out to be an older man with thick dark hair streaked with gray. He introduced himself as a “big fan” of Windstorm. Seemed nice enough. But Jackie must’ve been used to Leapfrog, because he found himself not wanting to talk to Magnify as much as he had with her.

Jackie also officially quit his old job. He didn’t tell Chase, but Chase noticed anyway.

“Hey, did something change with your...like, schedule or something?” Chase asked one day while they were making breakfast (two separate ones: waffles for Jackie and toast for Chase, though he knew Chase would eventually ask if he could have some.)

“What d’you mean?” Jackie asked.

“I mean, I have your usual times written down here.” Chase pointed at a sticky note on the fridge, where Jackie’s old hours for his job had been written. “I think you said, like, your hours were weird and irregular, but these were consistent. So did something happen?”

“Uhhh yeah,” Jackie said, stubbornly not looking at Chase and instead staring at the timer he’d set for the waffles. “I quit my old job, actually.”

“Oh really? And you got a new one?”

“Yeah.”

Chase grinned. “Congrats, bro! I mean, I assume this is a good thing.”

Jackie couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, it’s a good thing. It’s... something I’d always wanted to do.”

“What is it?”

Jackie hesitated. “Uh, it’s with law enforcement.”

“Bro, you’re a cop now?!”

“No no no, but I do work with the police now. I...“ Jackie scrambled for an explanation that wasn’t ‘I’m a superhero.’ “I check out the crime scenes and stuff. So, uh, my schedule is gonna be even weirder than before. I can try to go in regularly, if you want to write it down.”

“You don’t have to, but, uh, it would help to know when you’re usually gone,” Chase admitted. “Well, uh, that’s great, Jackie!” He leaned over and gave Jackie a quick side hug. “I’m glad you’re doing something you want!”

“Ha. Yeah. It’s... pretty great.” Jackie smiled, and tried not to think about the guilt curling in his stomach.

He had to tell Chase eventually. He couldn’t keep this up forever.

===============

A week passed. The media calmed down with all the “Ceremony Gone Wrong!” news, but they didn’t forget about the Puppeteer. Meanwhile, Magnify told Jackie that the scheduled delivery of SAMs to Heroes had been delayed by another week. “SepTech’s in chaos, since their system got hacked,” he explained. “They apologize for the trouble.”

“It’s no problem,” Jackie said, and gave a little laugh. “I wasn’t expecting to get one at all.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Magnify said, no humor in his voice. “Of course you are.”

Well... that conversation was... fun. Jackie was glad that Magnify wasn’t fond of long phone calls, because he wasn’t sure if he could handle the handler’s serious attitude. After it was done, Jackie sighed and flopped down onto his bed, putting the Red Line back on his dresser. He stared out the window at the darkening sky. It was only 5:45, but he was already exhausted. Another day spent constantly patrolling. He enjoyed flying around, but the concentration and physical activity really started to wear on him after a while. He should probably start toning it down again.

And then his phone started to ring, snapping him out of his tiredness. He sat up straight and grabbed it from the dresser. Caller ID lit up the screen; Schneep was calling.

Jackie hesitated. Then, just when the ringing was about to stop, he accepted the call. “Hello?” he said, audibly reluctant.

“Am I on speaker phone?” Schneep asked.

“What? Uh, no? Why?”

“I wanted to be sure,” Schneep said. “Jackie. Have you told Chase yet?”

“It’s only been a week, Schneep,” Jackie sighed. “I can’t... just suddenly tell him like that. I need time to prepare.”

“You have had seven days to prepare.”

“And I’ll need more!”

Schneep paused. “You can tell him whenever you want, of course,” he said gently. “But just know that I will be hounding you about it until you do.“ His voice shifted to something both teasing and matter-of-fact.

“Honestly I’m not surprised to hear that,” Jackie said tiredly.

“Jackie, if I am remembering correctly, you don’t want anything to change between you and Chase,” Schneep continued. “But the longer you keep a secret, the more risk there is of him finding out on his own. And it will be easiest to keep things the same if you can control how he learns your secret.”

“I know, okay?!” Jackie snapped. “I know this!” A gust of wind blew through the room, ruffling loose cloth and paper. Jackie took a moment to get control of it. “You’re bothering me about telling Chase, but you’re not telling JJ your secret,” he grumbled.

A long silence. “Jamie is... i-it is complicated.”

“How? How is it more complicated than what I got going on here? Because he’s your family?”

“There is that,” Schneep said slowly. “But also he... he does not need anything to... worry about.”

“Well, neither does Chase!”

“That is true, but...” Schneep let out a sound of frustration.

“If there’s something going on with Jameson, can you tell me?” Jackie prompted.

“...it is not my story to tell,” Schneep said quietly.

Jackie could hear a sad sort of...recollection in Schneep’s voice. As if he was remembering something heavy. He wondered what Schneep was thinking about...

===============

The day after Halloween, Schneep checked in on Jameson.

He had visited the evening before, as well. He would have visited sooner in the day, but there was the morning heist (which had not been fruitful, god damn it). And then Jackie showed up bleeding and he had to treat that whole mess, and afterwards he waited by the phone for a couple hours, just in case Jackie suddenly called him shouting that the stitches had ripped open, or he’d collapsed while flying, or something just as bad. It wasn’t an unlikely scenario. Jackie had proven that he cared more about heroics than his health. But after a while, he trusted that Jackie was fine, and he got ready to stop by JJ’s shop for a quick visit.

Or at least, he assumed it would be quick, given how JJ insisted on being alone for his birthday. Things did not turn out that way.

Today, Schneep made the journey across the city to Jackson Legacy Crafts. The shop was closed and the door was locked, but JJ had given him a key a while ago, so he walked right in. He didn’t stop to look at the wares and instead went straight to the doorway behind the counter. This led to the stairwell, which led to the apartment above. The apartment where JJ had grown up, living with his family. He was the only one living there now.

The stairwell was dimly lit by an old yellow bulb, and Schneep hoped he didn’t trip on a step. He would hate to drop the bag he was carrying. Also it would suck if he fell down the stairs. But that was unlikely.

The sound of the television leaked through the wooden trapdoor at the top of the stairwell. Schneep gently pushed that door open and looked into the apartment. It was mostly dark, lit up only by the TV. “You really need overhead lights in here, my friend,” he muttered, and climbed into the room.

The Jackson apartment was small, but still managed to have two floors. The top level had two bedrooms, while the bottom was an open floor plan, a combination kitchen/dining room/living room. To the right was the television and some bookshelves. To the left was a spiral staircase leading up. To the back was the kitchen/dining room, pushed up against a row of windows. To the front was another row of windows, as well as the bathroom and a storage closet that was used to store work-in-progress crafts. Right in the middle of the room, next to the trapdoor that led to the stairwell, was the living area, composed of two armchairs and a sofa—a sofa where Jameson currently sat.

He didn’t respond to Schneep’s comment. He glanced over as Schneep came out of the trapdoor and started turning on lamps, then went back to staring at the TV. His eyes were wide, as if afraid he would miss anything. He was wearing the same outfit Schneep had seen him in yesterday: a simple white T-shirt, black sweatpants, and socks. Not Jameson’s usual spiffy style. He had a blanket draped over his shoulders. There were dark bags under his wide eyes, standing out against his pale skin.

“What are you watching?” Schneep glanced at the TV as he walked around. “The news? I didn’t know you had such an interest in current events.” The news was running another piece on the chaos of the welcoming ceremony, this time focused on this new villain, the Puppeteer. There had been no mentions of the Specter.

Jameson shrugged. He didn’t look away from the screen.

“What did you have for dinner?” Schneep asked, turning on another lamp to reveal the green patterned wallpaper.

Another shrug.

“Did you eat anything at all?”

Jameson slowly shook his head.

Schneep sighed. “Well, I brought a treat, but if you haven’t eaten anything either, I will make you something.” He walked over to the kitchen area. On the way, he passed the closet, and glanced inside. It had been used as a workshop by Jameson’s parents first—David and Klara had made many projects in there, sewing and carving and tinkering. Jameson said he used it the same way, but looking into the makeshift workspace now, he saw a thin layer of dust covering everything, from the half-carved wooden dolls to the clocks with their gears out. It hadn’t been used in months, at least.

Jameson finally turned to look at Schneep. You don’t have to do that, he signed.

“I think I do.” Schneep began looking through the cabinets. “I would not think I’d have to tell you that not eating for an entire day is bad.”

I haven’t been hungry, Jameson said slowly.

Neither of them mentioned what happened yesterday. But Schneep could feel it weighing heavily in the air between them. The memories hit him like they were solid things as he went about making food. 

He’d let himself in, just like he had today, but not seen Jameson anywhere in the apartment. How he went up to the bedrooms to see if Jameson was there, only to find his bedroom door locked. Obviously Jameson couldn’t answer his questions through the door, but after a while, Schneep started to get afraid, wondering if JJ wasn’t answering the door because something happened to him. He waited ten minutes, knocking and shouting and trying to listen for any sound inside, then the anxiety grew too much and he walked straight through the solid door, thinking that if this was how Jameson found out his cousin was a super, it was worth it.

But Jameson hadn’t been paying attention. He’d been turned away from the door, curled up on his bed, breathing fast with tear-stained eyes. Schneep knew how to recognize distress. A panic attack? Clothes were scattered about the floor—as if the attack had come on while he was in the middle of changing. Schneep had immediately rushed forward and done his best to help Jameson calm down. He wasn’t sure how good he’d been at it. You were supposed to “ground” someone having intense anxiety, and Schneep had never been good at that, not even for himself.

Eventually, though, Jameson calmed down. When asked, he admitted that he’d been in that state for “a few hours.” Schneep had spent the rest of the evening helping him out. Cleaning and making food, mostly—just like he was doing now.

He didn’t know what had caused that state. Jameson wouldn’t tell him, no matter what he said. But he didn’t want to press too much. That might just make things worse.

“Food is done,” Schneep announced. “Do you want to come over here to eat or should I take it there?”

Silently, Jameson stood up and walked over to the dinner table, sitting down. He still glanced frequently at the TV, paying close attention to the news broadcast.

“You do not have many groceries,” Schneep said, setting a plate down in front of Jameson. “I hope pasta and vegetables is fine. And water to drink. Your milk is expired.”

Thank you, Jameson said, his signs small. Do you want anything?

“It is no problem.” Schneep sat down across from him. “I ate earlier. Oh! Also, I brought this.” He reached into the bag he’d brought and pulled out a plastic container of store-bought cupcakes. “Both chocolate and vanilla in here.”

Jameson gave him a small smile. He stabbed some of the pasta with his fork, but didn’t eat. Just stared at it before his eyes drifted back towards the TV.

It was then that Schneep noticed the bracelets. “Where did you get those?” he asked, leaning closer. They were simple enough, just beads on a string. But... “They look rather tight around your wrists.”

The fork clattered back to the plate. Jameson folded his arms, tucking his hands and into his armpits. The movement was trying to be casual but he moved just too quickly to pull it off.

“Can you adjust them?” Schneep persisted. “Or did you tie them too tight? I can help if you want.” He hadn’t seen the knot or any spare dangling string, though, so unfortunately they might need to be cut—

No, it’s fine, JJ hurriedly signed. I can fix them later.

“Are you sure?”

It’s fine, Jameson repeated.

Schneep leaned back. “If you say so.” Now that he was thinking about it, Jameson was wearing them yesterday, too. He’d been too focused on calming him down to give them much thought. “I never thought of you as a jewelry person.”

A customer gave me a bracelet-making kit, JJ explained. I thought it would be fun to try. And I like them. They’re nice.

“If you say so.” Schneep still thought it was a little strange, but he didn’t want to push Jameson too much. It was his choice, anyway.

Can you... Jameson hesitated, then continued. Can you stay for a little? I don’t want to be alone in this place anymore.

“It has been rather empty,” Schneep muttered. He hadn’t been around to see it lived-in, but he could imagine it. Could feel it in the other bedroom where absence took up space. “I will stay, don’t worry, Jameson.”

JJ sighed. Thank you, he signed, relieved. Then began to eat, still occasionally looking towards the TV where the news segment on the Puppeteer still played.

===============

“Jackie, are you going to say something?” Schneep asked.

“Are you going to say something?” Jackie rebutted. “You trailed off.”

“I was thinking.”

“About what?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Schneep said sternly. “We were talking about you.”

Jackie sighed. He got the feeling Schneep wasn’t telling him something, but whatever. It was probably some personal business or something. “I’ll tell Chase when I tell Chase, okay?” 

“Just do it sooner and not later,” Schneep said. “It will make everything easier.”

“I know it—hang on.” The Red Line had started ringing, the distinct bring bring! loud in Jackie’s small room. “I’ve got another call coming in.”

“Sure you do.” He could practically hear Schneep rolling his eyes.

“I actually do, I promise! It’s Hero stuff.”

“Tell me about it, then.”

“I don’t know what it is yet! And I’m not sure if I could anyway, I signed a million different things joining the League, some of them were probably NDAs. Just—talk to me later, okay?”

“Fine. I will see you around, then.” And Schneep hung up.

Jackie sighed, then quickly traded his phone for the Red Line before it stopped ringing. Surely Magnify didn’t need to talk to him again. Glancing at the screen, he saw an unfamiliar ID number on the screen: H-826-33-1691411. Everyone in the League got an ID number, even him. Leapfrog had explained the meanings to him a long time ago. 826 meant the person was located in Britain, 33 was the number for the local county, and H meant they were a Hero.

Confused, he accepted the call. “Hello?”

“Hi, Windstorm?” said a female voice. “It’s me, Pink Sunset!”

“Oh hey!”

Pink Sunset giggled. “You sound surprised.”

“I, uh...wasn’t expecting you to call. How’d you get my number?” Jackie himself only knew a few, one of which was his own (H-826-33-2391440).

“I asked my handler and she asked yours. You should probably add me to your contacts after this, I’ve already added you.”

“You have?”

“Of course!” Pink Sunset said cheerily. “Our cities are so close, we might need each other’s help someday.”

“Ahhh right.” Internally, Jackie cursed. That seemed so obvious! He wanted to join the League to meet Heroes, how was he supposed to do that if he didn’t know how to contact them? “So, were you calling to tell me to add you, then?”

“Well that, and something else,” Pink Sunset continued. “I know that I have to thank you for saving my life again.”

“Huh? You mean what happened at the ceremony?” Jackie gave a little laugh. “That wasn’t really—thank you, but I didn’t really do anything.”

“You stopped this Puppeteer guy, didn’t you?”

“Well, I distracted him long enough for him to drop the mind control on everyone. He got away afterwards.”

“You stopped the crisis he caused, then. Sucks that he slipped away, but damage control is most of being a Hero. I was fighting Crystalize when the mind control dropped, and I was seriously worried they would kill me, so like I said, you saved my life again by distracting the puppet guy.”

“Uh... you’re welcome, then,” Jackie said awkwardly.

Pink Sunset burst into laughter. “Oh, you’re great, Windstorm,” she sighed. “I want to show you something. Are you free on Saturday?”

Jackie narrowed his eyes. “For what? A date?”

“No—though I wouldn’t object if you wanted that.”

“No no, th-that’s not what I meant,” Jackie stammered. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but, uh, I’m not looking for, uh, dating right now.” Dating had felt weird ever since he started hero work. Romance, more than any other relationship, was all about trust, and hiding an entire secret identity from potential partners had made Jackie nervous. Not too different from how he was nervous telling Chase, his best friend... he quickly pushed that thought aside. Anyway, dating a Hero or other League member would probably be different. But he still felt weird about it.

“Well maybe some other time, then,” Pink Sunset said lightheartedly. “We can keep the possibility open. No, this Saturday I want to give you a proper welcome to the League. Something that doubles as a ‘thank you for preventing a crisis.’ There’s this place you just have to see.”

“What is it? Where?”

“Oh, I want it to be a surprise.” Pink Sunset sounded positively giddy at the idea. “But you should wear your supersuit. I can message you the coordinates! It’s outside of Daindover, should take a few hours to drive.”

“I can’t drive,” Jackie said. “I mostly fly or use public transport.”

“Ah. Well, you should be able to fly there. I don’t know your top speed, though, so that’s up to you to account for. So? Are you free?”

He thought about it. Nothing else was going on Saturday. And he was really curious about what she was talking about. “Alright, sure, I’ll come,” he said. “Thanks, Pink Sunset.”

“Oh please, call me Lorelai,” she said.

“Lorelai?” Jackie repeated. “That’s so cool! Sounds like a fantasy name. You can call me Jackie, then.”

“Thank you! Jackie’s very nice, too. I’ll see you on Saturday, Jackie. Does, hmmm, two o’clock work for you?”

“Probably. Depends on how far this place is.” He usually flew slower than a car could drive, but he didn’t have to stick to roads, so if it was “a few hours to drive” he would probably have to leave early...

“It’s not that far. You’ll be back by evening, I’m sure.” Pink Sunset—Lorelai cleared her throat. “Well, see you then!”

“See you.” Jackie waited for Lorelai to end the call first before he did.

He’d never expected something like that to happen. Hopefully whatever Lorelai wanted to show him was relaxing. He’d had enough stress recently.

[alexandraswords]

F*CK NORMAL

An overdue ending to a (un)well decorated drinking career.

Introduction

Friday, June 9, 2023 9:28 AM

Today is one of those days where I am just tired, and a bit bored, but mostly tired. I am exhausted. Mentally at least. I have really been putting my all into my sobriety to the point where my day revolves around meetings but im starting to lose momentum. I have a headache, the dog wont stop barking, i'm trying to pop the zits on my face. Basically being alone with my discontented ass self is not something I'm great at... yet.

I should meditate or journal or text another AA member. But I just want to sleep and be normal and relax. But fuck normal.

I thought drinking was normal. I thought my diet of vodka and water and the occasional box of cheez-its was adulting. I thought I was mature and well refined and socially acceptable because I drank, just like everyone else, because, you know, drinking is normal... right?

Wrong. Not for me. I am NOT normal. So I have to do abnormal shit to keep my addictive eating disordered alcoholic riddled ass self sober and happy. I have to keep listening to other people because me making my own decisions landed me in a crack den sharing a room with a friend I would consider a sibling, whom which a fought with constantly to the point where I dragged the mattress from our third floor apartment (if you consider that uninhabitable shit hole, an apartment) down out side below out kitchen window so if I jumped maybe the universe would send me a sign saying that it is or isn't time yet. Okay so I didn't actually do that, but I sure as shit thought about it... a lot. Like a lot. I mean i couldn't even barely walk to the bathroom let alone haul some shit down the stairs. Hell, I wouldn't even walk across the street to get my own liquor. I would bribe my roommate by telling him if he went for me and took my card he could buy something for myself. I just didn't care anymore. I hated everything. I hated that I had to be loaded to be able to walk because my shakes were so bad. I hated that I had to drink to even feel sober and functional and not hallucinate and vomit and dry heave bright green bile. And worst of all I hated that I had lost control.

My eating disorder and my alcoholism made my reality disappear. The food temporarily until my life became a cage, and the nicest word I can think of to name it would be a vomitorium because it was actually that repulsive if you could see inside the walls of it. The alcohol took control over me so I didn't have to deal with food, but also made it so I didn't worry or care about ANYTHING. 

So I guess this is how I'm going to start this ... whatever rant of words form a book. Where I'm at right now. Because right now is all I have. Yes, I am in full self pity mode, but if there's one thing I've learned from AA it's that I need to take action, and never have I ever felt worse after going to a meeting. So,lets go fucking make our bed, and meditate or some shit and get ready for today. So, yeah, Fuck Normal.

So, Why the fuck not?

I got most talkative in fifth grade. The english section of my English SAT’s, I aced. People (my boyfriend) seem to like my writing and have told me If I don’t do something with it, then they’ll publish it themselves… which I’m pretty sure falls into the lines of plagiarism but lets be honest here. I am probably one of the biggest procrastinators when it comes to doing something that is actually good for me. Why? The fuck if I know. Maybe because all I’ve known has been chaos and panic since, like,  forever, that when it comes to the real things, like happiness and joy and pride in work that I’VE DONE… well, I'm just not used to that type of thing.  But I figured, fuck it. I can write a book. All i have to do is elaborate on how awesome I am at self sabotaging and add in some very few lessons I picked up and am still learning day by day. Basically I’ve decided its time to just put all my shit in one bound piece of parchment instead of having to explain my life story to everyone as if its my first day with a new therapist. 

But alas, melodramatic Alex is bored and avoiding meditating, to keep her shit together and be healthier, obviously,  because that would actually be beneficial to my well being. So for now i’ll just throw it in one of the corners in the back of my mind while it slowly simmers into a pot of anxiety attack soup while I try and explain to you (briefly before the pot starts boiling) how fucking insanely delusionally fantastically fucked my life is, and how I got here, and why I wouldn’t change one second of it for anything. But I mean, there’s forwards and shit in books right? So can this be like a PS after the main intro forward? ‘Cause This sober bitch has to go meditate before a meeting so I can stay mindful in my sobriety and not add homicide to my list of criminal activities. (That was a joke) So for now, just for today, Namaste Sober. 

P.P.S- enjoy the buffet of garbage that hopefully is not similar to mine. But if you can and most likely will relate if you’re reading this (most likely because my clever title struck a chord in your twisted little heart) then just know, you're not alone in this shit show, but no one ever really puts the shit show on the ‘gram now do they?

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! I’ve never done a matchup before, so I’m sorry if it’s too much! Could I get romantic Star Rail, Demon Slayer, and Genshin matchups? ^^

Pronouns/Sexuality: I use she/her pronouns! My sexuality is a bit complex right now, but I know I fall somewhere under the asexual umbrella. I'm not quick to catch feelings, but when I do, I’m whipped. In terms of romance, I'm attracted to masculine presenting people (ex. cis men, trans men, and non-binaries!)

Zodiac/MBTI: Gemini / INFP

Appearance: Brown eyes. Slightly below shoulder-length denim blue hair with blonde ends - my hair is typically swept to the side, covering my right eye. I stand at 5'1" and am slender for my height. I have pale skin with a few beauty marks on my neck and the side of my face. My fashion style leans toward goth/emo, and I have a few ear piercings, along with a septum piercing!

Personality: On a first impression, I come off as intimidating and aloof. I’ve had friends tell me that I looked like I wanted to kill them when we met and was surprised as I'm really just unsure about how to socialize and unintentionally appear unfriendly. Beyond that, I'm a laidback and open-minded individual. I tend to reflect too much, unconsciously psychoanalyzing myself/others. I'd describe myself as a pessimist, and my thoughts can sometimes dwell in dark places that I get stuck in sometimes. Isound monotonous, which I find hilarious because I tend to deliver the darkest jokes with a straight face, leaving people confused. I often playfully pretend to have a god/superiority complex; I'm known for my biting sarcasm, snarkiness, stubbornness, and occasional sassiness. However, I'm also logical and prioritize thinking with my head before my heart. My demeanor can switch between being playfully sarcastic and being timid and awkward, depending on how well I know someone. I have a tendency to be a people pleaser, even going so far as to sacrifice my own well-being for people I don't even know well. I’m a good listener, but I severely lack charisma.

Likes: Drawing, sword collecting, history, playing/watching video games, writing, TTRPGs, rain/thunderstorms, my five cats, metal/rock music, the colors blue/purple/red, the moon, and star-gazing.

Dislikes: People who can’t maintain an open mind, the color green, being in the sun, doctors, heights, and people who are immature, blindly optimistic, or excessively loud.

Extra Information: I'm scatterbrained and forgetful with doing certain things (ex. Taking medicine, eating breakfast, etc.) I also tend to do better with people similar to me, personality, interest, or backstory wise! But also maybe someone who would push me to leave my comfort zone or pull me out of my pessimism.

Thank you! ✨

Hi! Oh my goodness! It's so exciting being someone's first matchup request! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Caelus matches your sarcastic nature well. However, while you’re more open about saying those things out loud, Caelus is more the type to keep them to himself, until you’re alone.

Then the sass comes out in full force as you both talk about your days.

Caelus is reasonably mature and open minded, so arguments will rarely happen. He also strikes me as a bit of a people pleaser. But don’t think that will stop him from expressing his opinion.

Video game dates! Caelus loves video games and is pretty flexible about what you play. Whether it’s a multiplayer where you’re on a team or facing off, or a single player where you take turns with the controller, Caelus just enjoys sharing one of his main hobbies with you.

Will take you stargazing. The Star Rail is great for that since there’s stars everywhere you look. But Caelus also enjoys finding good stargazing spots when you get to a new planet.

There’s always a whole new sky to look at and you can learn about it together.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Giyu’s another one who loves your sarcastic nature. He thinks it’s a nice change from the overly optimistic people he’s surrounded by on a daily basis.

Your stubborn streak is something he’s more familiar with. Between Inosuke and Tanjiro, as well as the other hashira, there are a lot of stubborn people in his life.

He can be a bit close minded sometimes but, as shown when he accepted Nezuko, Giyu can open up to ideas that he’s initially sceptical of.

Not a loud person and appreciates that you’re not overly loud either. He enjoys being able to spend quiet time with you reading or watching you draw.

His favourite moments are when you’re relaxing together and there’s gentle rain outside. He can very easily fall asleep like that.

I see Giyu as someone who doesn’t mind cats. He resonates with them. They remind him a lot of himself. So needless to say, he will get along well with your cats; he doesn’t pester them but he’ll give them affection when they approach him.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Diluc enjoys being able to spend time with you. He appreciates the peace and quiet after time spent in the Angel’s Share. Whether that involves watching you draw, reading something you’ve written, or relaxing in silence, he loves every moment of it.

He’s also glad you’re a good listener because after a shift at the tavern, Diluc enjoys talking about all the patrons he encountered. It’s a good method of decompensating.

He likes your cats but he’s not sure whether he genuinely likes them or because you like them. Either way, they remind him a lot of Diona which leads to some interesting interactions.

Like Caelus, Diluc enjoys stargazing with you. He’ll take you into the vineyards where no one will disturb the two of you and lay out a blanket to rest on.

In a house as old as Dawn Winery, there’s sure to be a decent collection of swords. Diluc is more than happy to let you add to it as you see fit. He’s happy with his claymor but it can’t hurt to have a selection at hand.

[tinseltine]

I wasn’t sure I was going to be covering Sundance 2023 – 1) because I forgot to ask for press credentials until late.  2) My mother has taken ill and I’ve been tag teaming with my sister on being her caretaker, which is kinda consuming my life right now, and yet, I’m glad to have this time with her. That being said, all in all, I still fit in quite a good number of films, although, I wish I’d made time for a few more shorts.

(Post Update: 2/5/23 My Mom passed on to the next realm peacefully yesterday afternoon, February 4th at 85 years old ).

This year Sundance fully returned to in-person, those of us attending virtually still had great access to the films, but not the Q&A’s. And I really missed the New Frontier VR interactions. Last year’s Spaceship Platform was so innovative, interactive and really fun!  I read where Sundance New Frontier is being revamped and will return next year in some format, but I feel it won’t be as the Spaceship, which was built mostly to allow for attendees to interact in a simulated way to being in Park City.

I understand with pirating concerns, the festival must protect the filmmakers films and keep some control over how long and how many people can view each film.  But it would be such a dream to simply have full access to every film for the full run of the festival.  It was better this year that at least you didn’t have to watch the Premieres at a designated time, but still, it’s too restrictive.  We have to choose our films ahead of the festival and lock them in. When the festival starts you’re given a window of 3 days to watch those films.  I didn’t want everything to be within the same windows, so I tried to set some to watch later in the festival, but that didn’t work, I was never able to unlock those.  I always have such trouble with these types of platforms working for me anyway. The other problem being, once the fest starts, certain films start getting heavy social media buzz, at that point you want to switch to those films, for instance, Jonathan Majors in MAGAZINE DREAM. Don’t ask me why it wasn’t already on my list, but it wasn’t and at that point I was just SOL.

Of the films I did choose, I noted a lot with themes of how hard it is to be a parent.  I also feel I saw more sex scenes than in recent years.  I also gravitated to so many more docs this year than I normally would.  I find the bigger payoff with covering film festivals is to keep a steady stream of posts to social media. So I would post my immediate thoughts to IG Stories after a screening, then I’d screenshot that post to Twitter and add an additional impression, thus giving a good highlight of the films; hopefully to whet your appetites to see these features when they arrive in theaters and streaming. Film Scribes shares its epic #Sundance2023 wrap-up show, featuring the top picks from the festival from @danthefan @garymkramer @StephenSilver @FilmBuffRich and @tinseltine Moderated by @heimlich, produced by @danthefantastic https://tinseltine.com/sundance-2023-film-festival-coverage/

[inamindfarfaraway]

I had to do Team Batgirl. Babs is Oracle, Cass is Black Bat and Steph is Batgirl as per pre-New 52. Remember, the core drive of each emotion is benevolent, no matter how bad they feel. Sadness is responsible for empathy, sympathy and asking for help; Fear wants to keep us and what we care about safe; Anger wants things to be fair; and Disgust wants to protect us from physical, social or moral contamination. They're all the basis for more complex emotions and processes, e.g. Fear enables forethought and common sense for risk evaluation, Anger inspires courage and bold, direct action and Disgust is highly involved in meeting social expectations.

[Babs's Headquarters have a similar professional atmosphere to Bruce's. The walls are dark grey. In the background of the immaculate main office, a few closed doors partition off other spaces, probably more personal ones; the memory shelves are longer than average and have additional walled channels beneath them to store memory orbs that fall from overflow, and the memories glow unusually bright; there are no windows and the room is lit by overhead office lights, the sight screen and the memory orbs. Her emotions are also in wheelchairs and wear glasses, with individual styles and decorations. Her console is a large, angular, intricate control panel of polished silver metal, elegant and futuristic, at which sit Fear at the helm, Anger at her right hand and Joy at her left, then Sadness and Disgust next to them.]

Fear: We’re scanning our entire surveillance network, but the Joker is still unaccounted for. We should check in with Cassandra and Stephanie.

Joy: I’m so proud of them. Permission to verbalize that to them, ma’am?

Fear: Don’t know if we’ll have time.

Anger: Yeah, expressing vulnerability takes a lot of energy, and we all agreed to divert 75% of it to single-minded fixation on justice until Joker is back in Arkham. Preferably via ambulance.

Fear: I’ll schedule a tight smile for when the girls get back, but no guarantee Babs will remember it then. Our short-term memory bank is already full to bursting.

Disgust: (under her breath, annoyed) As always.

Sadness: So, um… Dick hasn't called us back yet, but I think he wants to. Maybe we should call him.

Fear: No, we’re both busy. We can catch up tommorow.

[Cass's Headquarters are largely a fusion of a dojo and a gym, a wide open space with mats, punching bags and other exercise and martial arts equipment. The walls and floor are wooden boards. A set of floor-to-ceiling windows at the back and sides shaped like bat symbols make the space light and airy. The background has a corridor leading off to the left and a staircase going up at the right that look straight out of Wayne Manor. There is no console. Rather, an elevated black stage with yellow curtains is before the screen. Sadness is centre-stage, flanked by Anger and Fear, then Joy and Disgust. The black surface lights up with squares of the emotions’ respective colours under their feet as they dance in a graceful, perfectly coordinated ballet routine to classical music. Until Fear makes a different move to the others. An alarm beeps, cutting off the music, and everyone freezes. The others stare at Fear. Anger is offended, Sadness and Joy intrigued and Disgust confused.]

Anger: (folds her arms, raises an eyebrow and puffs out her chest at Fear challengingly)

Sadness: (gently holds Anger in place with a hand on her shoulder and nods to Fear)

Fear: (cringes, but cautiously makes the move again)

Anger: (clenches her fists and gestures in outrage to Sadness)

Joy: (steps forward and holds Fear’s hand in support, making unintimidated eye contact with Anger)

Disgust: (looks ahead through Cass’s eyes, unlike any of the others are, due to boredom with the dispute)

Disgust: Ugh. More henchmen.

Sadness: You handle it.

Disgust: Fiiiine.

[The emotions reshuffle so that Disgust is centre-stage. She dances alone to simpler music with only one instrument. The others retreat upstage, Sadness between Anger and Fear and Joy as she tries to mediate.]

Joy: (stands protectively in front of Fear and beckons for Anger to bring it on, balancing her weight)

Sadness: (shakes her head disapprovingly, unseen by anyone)

Anger: (yells wordlessly and punches Joy)

[The four break into a fight, tumbling offstage onto the mats. Disgust rolls her eyes.]

[Steph's Headquarters are furnished much like a mundane living room, with white walls, a plush purple sofa, cluttered coffee table, lamps emitting warm light, windows to one side and a comfortable atmosphere. The doors to ancillary rooms are open. Tucked away by the memory orb shelves, two cardboard boxes of purple, blue, red and green memory orbs marked ‘Trauma - FRAGILE’ remain unpacked. Her console resembles a video game controller, being white plastic, rounded and having colourful buttons, switches and joysticks. It has a single chair, a spinning one made of black plastic and purple cushions. Joy is seated, gleefully wiggling a joystick. Anger is on her right, excitedly watching the mission, and Sadness is on her left, concerned. Disgust is hovering at the side of the console, not very interested. Fear is on the sofa quietly writing in a puzzle book.]

Joy: We’ve got this in the bag. None of these bozos even know we’re here.

[She reaches to press a yellow button. Disgust notices, abruptly invested, and pushes past Sadness to grab Joy’s hand.]

Disgust: But they will if you quip from so near them. And then we’re gonna fail and Babs is gonna make her disappointed face and, like, never trust Steph with a stealth mission again.

Joy: Good point.

Anger: There’s the ringleader! Aw, Cass is already beating him up.

Sadness: (sighs and leans on the console, turning it partially blue) She was a way better Batgirl, we’ll never come close and everyone knows it.

Joy: (batting her arm away) Sadness, we’ve talked about this. Steph earned her place and has nothing to prove. Everything's gonna be fine. Okay, let’s just sneak past and get out with the intel -

Fear: Hey, guys, do you ever think about how Steph’s daughter could die at any moment and we wouldn’t even know?

[The others tense and flinch. The console lights up purple and fades to blue.]

Joy: SHUT UP, FEAR!

Disgust: So not the time!

Sadness: (crying) I am now!

Anger: This is why we never listen to you!