#am very hurt
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carrionhearted Ā· 4 months ago
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Iā€™m really struggling w seeing people who participated in the ā€œletā€™s gang up on and brutally harass this guy based on an assumption, because he makes a convenient scapegoatā€ incident of ā€˜24 saying ā€œI apologized :3 sorry I was just emotional :3 all done now :3ā€
Hhgghgghghgh. Apologized to who. To me? To the other random people yā€™all harassed off the platform? Sorry, Iā€™m still hurt over this, I say this as nothing more than an expression of my own feelings. No animosity, Iā€™m just struggling. Like I still have no closure on this entire thing, the most Iā€™ve gotten isā€¦ people stopped telling me to kms? Which might mean they now understand they were mistaken? I do not know. Hsggdgs. I donā€™t understand how people are saying ā€œI apologizedā€
I wish absolutely no hate towards anyone, thatā€™s never a solution, Iā€™ve always advocated that. I only hope people grow and heal from this. I just wish I had even a smidge of closure.
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bixels Ā· 9 months ago
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Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!
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ducktracy Ā· 4 months ago
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so itā€™s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that theyā€™re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world itā€™s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously itā€™s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might notā€”ā€œitā€™s hard! itā€™s scary! people will make fun of me! itā€™s useless because thereā€™s too much evil!ā€ are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesnā€™t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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inkskinned Ā· 1 year ago
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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elodieunderglass Ā· 2 days ago
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Having dug out the Unfinished Tales to reference a conversation Tolkien wrote between Gandalf and Pippin (but didnā€™t publish) I thought Iā€™d share it. Gandalf is talking to Pippin about the history of Thorinā€™s company, hobbits and why he chose Bilbo.
This is evidence for the grand statement I just made about how Bilbo was intended to be a catalyst that changed his society, and that hobbit society was indeed significantly different after his journey, with large social changes occurring between The Hobbit and Fellowship. But itā€™s also a very funny passage to me so here it is:
ā€˜And then there was the Shire-folk. I began to have a warm place in my heart for them in the Long Winter, which none of you can remember.
They were very hard put to it then: one of the worst pinches they have been in, dying of cold, and starving in the dreadful dearth that followed. But that was the time to see their courage, and their pity one for another. It was by their pity as much as by their tough uncomplaining courage that they survived. I wanted them still to survive.
(šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­. Also the theme of having pity for each other is what redeems both Bilbo and Frodo re: Gollum.)
But I saw that the Westlands were in for another very bad time again, sooner or later, though of quite a different sort: pitiless war.
(This is possibly one reason why this passage didnā€™t make it to publication - Gandalf shouldnā€™t have had this much foreknowledge of the upcoming war of the ring.)
To come through that I thought they would need something more than they now had. It is not easy to say what. Well, they would want to know a bit more, understand a bit clearer what it was all about, and where they stood.
(Itā€™s also explaining that Bilboā€™s role in Thorinā€™s company was predetermined both by a more omnipotent Gandalf and by Fate; that Gandalf selected Bilbo to be a social catalyst, to return and provoke hobbit society into a more adaptable, resilient state; therefore increasing their chances of surviving.)
They had begun to forget: forget their own beginnings and legends, forget what little they had known about the greatness of the world. It was not yet gone, but it was getting buried: the memory of the high and the perilous. But you cannot teach that sort of thing to a whole people quickly. There was not time.
(Thus Bilbo was supposed to be changed, and return changed by his journey, to teach his people.)
And anyway you must begin at some point, with some one person. I dare say he was ā€œchosenā€ and I was only chosen to choose him; but I picked out Bilbo.ā€™
ā€˜Now that is just what I want to know,ā€™ said Peregrin. ā€˜Why did you do that?ā€™
ā€˜How would you select any one Hobbit for such a purpose?ā€™ said Gandalf. ā€˜I had not time to sort them all out;
(He is SO funny)
but I knew the Shire very well by that time, although when I met Thorin I had been away for more than twenty years on less pleasant business. So naturally thinking over the Hobbits that I knew, I said to myself: ā€œI want a dash of the Tookā€ (but not too much, Master Peregrin)
(This is brilliant we are always BODYING pippin constantly. NOT TOO MUCH TOOK šŸ‘€. We were ROBBED not having this in canon )
ā€œand I want a good foundation of the stolider sort, a Baggins perhaps.ā€ That pointed at once to Bilbo.
(Eugenics! Observing them like laboratory mouse lines! Call him a Charles River BILB/o the way youā€™re genotyping these poor little bastards for your purposes)
And I had known him once very well, almost up to his coming of age, better than he knew me.
(??? Hiding in the bushes spying orā€¦?)
I liked him then. And now I found that he was ā€œunattachedā€ ā€“ to jump on again, for of course I did not know all this until I went back to the Shire. I learned that he had never married. I thought that odd, though I guessed why it was; and the reason that I guessed was not the one that most of the Hobbits gave me: that he had early been left very well off and his own master.
(Was it cos heā€™s gay as fuck, Gandalf)
No, I guessed that he wanted to remain ā€œunattachedā€ for some reason deep down which he did not understand himself ā€“ or would not acknowledge, for it alarmed him.
(I 100% now and for always love a narrator in a constant state of Just Fucking Lies To Everyone All The Time, Giving Us Nothing, Acknowledging Nothing Including Himself. NOPE NOT PROCESSING ANYTHING TODAY THANKS. WEā€™RE CLOSED. COME BACK TOMORROW. just A Massive Liar about everything and for what!!! Bilbo Baggins my beloved you were born wrong.)
He wanted, all the same, to be free to go when the chance came, or he had made up his courage. I remembered how he used to pester me with questions when he was a youngster about the Hobbits that had occasionally ā€œgone off ā€, as they said in the Shire. There were at least two of his uncles on the Took side that had done so.ā€™
You can see why I love this! And I can see why Tolkien didnā€™t include it, too. Still very fun passage and near enough to canon to be used if you ever want to.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 7 months ago
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā€“-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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io-lu-art Ā· 5 months ago
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*sighs* hello.
here, have some hurt/comfort reylo.
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you're welcome.
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theminecraftbee Ā· 5 months ago
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you know the excellent quadruple life fan comic has me thinking about double life again. and MAN. thinking about the soul bonds mechanically. like, before I get into my meta-analysis itā€™s worth noting that non-diagetically the soulbond mechanic being based on how many hearts someone has is basically the only way I can think to do it in minecraft thatā€™s sensible, but diageticallyā€¦
so do you ever think about how the marker of what made people soulmates in double life was pain?
like, soulmates share injuries/pain! thatā€™s the whole premise! like, to the point that day one people were making up elaborate ways to hurt themselves so they could test for their soulmates! you met your (very romantic-coded) partner and confirmed they were the person you were looking for by hitting each other, generally!
being a soulmate in the double life universe isnā€™t about being compatible, itā€™s about literally sharing pain, and itā€™s justā€¦ I think about how for some pairs, they share the burden between each other, and it brings them closer. for some pairs, though, the only way they know how to communicate is by hurting one another. and the thing is, this isnā€™t just a literal thing. like, mechanically, the thing soulmates do is share pain and communicate with pain, but metaphorically, can you say desert duo doesnā€™t have trouble communicating because half of how they know how to exist is either sharing in pain or causing it for each other? can you say that ranchersā€™ strength wasnā€™t a pair of people who understood each otherā€™s pain and desperation to be better than theyā€™ve been before? can you say that divorce quartet isnā€™t, wellā€”
so pearl wins after scott hurts them one last time donā€™t you ever think about that,
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poirott Ā· 2 months ago
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Poirot + ruthlessness AGATHA CHRISTIE'S POIROT (1989 - 2013)
"And he is ruthless, ruthless with those who commit crime. And they will be brought to justice." - David Suchet, BFI Q&A, Nov 12 2013
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satans-knitwear Ā· 8 months ago
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My eyes are up there ^^ keep going, at the top. šŸ‘€
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
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bullagit Ā· 1 year ago
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due to personal reasons i am now firmly on teamĀ ā€œi hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etcā€Ā 
like if the alternative is just this ohhh heā€™s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and heā€™ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park
i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda donā€™t give a shit about aĀ ā€œtoughen up itā€™s the only way everyone else knows betterā€ life lesson for this character
(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)
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obsob Ā· 2 years ago
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there he is......the man of the house
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bertoyana Ā· 3 months ago
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X-MEN: DAYS OF THE FUTURE PAST (2014)
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poorlydrawninstarsandtime Ā· 3 months ago
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beating down the situationally inappropriate gay thoughts violently with a stick.
[ids in alt]
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fairylando Ā· 19 days ago
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ngl with the news of the grand prix driver association creating an ig account, i think they should really channel the 1982 south africa gp strike energyšŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 10 months ago
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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#chilchuck tims#kabru#BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#ā€œdude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of youā€. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because Iā€™m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc#YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference
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