#venting on the personal blog again because idk where else to go and I’m pretty sure it’s only friends here

[carrionhearted]

I’m really struggling w seeing people who participated in the “let’s gang up on and brutally harass this guy based on an assumption, because he makes a convenient scapegoat” incident of ‘24 saying “I apologized :3 sorry I was just emotional :3 all done now :3”

Hhgghgghghgh. Apologized to who. To me? To the other random people y’all harassed off the platform? Sorry, I’m still hurt over this, I say this as nothing more than an expression of my own feelings. No animosity, I’m just struggling. Like I still have no closure on this entire thing, the most I’ve gotten is… people stopped telling me to kms? Which might mean they now understand they were mistaken? I do not know. Hsggdgs. I don’t understand how people are saying “I apologized”

I wish absolutely no hate towards anyone, that’s never a solution, I’ve always advocated that. I only hope people grow and heal from this. I just wish I had even a smidge of closure.

[circular-bircular]

i just wanted to say thank you for existing online! (that phrasing is weird but idk how else to put it haha). i completely left the system community, you're the only person i still follow because i can't go 0.3 seconds without reading the words "pro/anti endo" and it's seriously exhausting. your accounts are a breath of fresh air, especially the system quirks one, they make me feel like i'm interacting with real people again and not just syscourse bots. both sides make me feel out of place or fake, but you're the exception! you're like a safe place in system tumblr (is that a thing?) and your posts always make my day a little better no matter their actual content. so thank you! (you don't have to respond to this, i just wanted to do something for you too and maybe make your day a lil' better :))

Anon I’m absolutely responding to this cause I wanna make a point, and you just helped me more than you know.

I have always tried to be a safe space for folks. I’ve always tried to have discussions for others, with others. And I’ve heard often that I’m a breath of fresh air. But the way you phrased it here really digs into a huge problem with syscourse lately: talking to me and seeing my accounts makes you feel like you’re talking to a real person.

Every blog you see on here is run by real people. Even syscoursebot! That was made and ran by a real person. I think that, often, people forget that I’m not just a couple of golden circles with some pretty dots. I think it’s easy to forget that anti-endos aren’t just A Collective Group - each person is a person, who has lived an entire life, and that life has impacted them in so many ways.

I’m having a day today where I’m severely angry and depressed. I’m trying to not comment on a lot of syscourse today, because I know I WANT to bite peoples heads off. I have a private vent blog for those sorts of posts - it can go there. I can work out my anger without taking it out on individuals with a username, but no visible face. They deserve better than harassment and disgust.

I think everyone needs to be a bit less judgy and a bit more cognizant of the fact that we’re all just people.

[archersgaymerblog]

(throwaway because i'm shy) it's so disheartening to see all the blogs that i used to trust a lot just... ignore the blatantly obvious crypt0f4sh in the fandom or just dismiss it as "random discourse", because it's not just random discourse, hell, even going by the notes of that one post you can see how blatantly obvious it is that they're mutuals with proud racists. i don't understand why people are suddenly are given sympathy like "think of the anons that could be sent to that person!" like, they want me dead! why would i care about them! there's no "both sides" to this argument, and i'm not "lacking in critical thinking" for being afraid to be myself in the fandom and seeing the obvious f4sh for what they are. it just... sucks man. it sucks so much. i'm sorry to vent in your inbox, but you're the only one out of a few of my followed blogs that was outward about this sorta stuff without being super dismissive and feeling like they were siding with the racists or staying quiet because they agreed. i think i'm just paranoid, but i don't know, at this point the silence is really alarming to me...

Hiya friend. I hope you don’t mind me posting this publicly, but it’s legit because I feel the exact same fuckin way hhh. Hell, I’m sorry I was the only fuckin one you were following saying shit about all this. I do get where maybe folks are uncomfortable about reblogging callout posts n shit but like you said, just leads to this paranoia. And frankly there should be a difference in response between “Hey this callout is literally just fictional content” vs “HEY THIS CALLOUT IS VERY REAL AND REFLECTIVE OF WHAT THEY BELIEVE” which I think that first is what turns folks off from callouts in general but. Still gotta take the real, legitimate ones seriously yea?????

Hell, ya wanna know something? When I first made my edited pinned and mentioned there was a fash trying to lay low in the fandom and to message me so I can let folks know? Know how many messages I got? Fuckin two. Only two whole people cared enough about a cryptofash to actually reach out. Bless those two folks, but genuinely the fact that I only got two fuckin messages was disheartening as all fuck. Hell I think that’s why I reblogged the callout in the end, usually they make me really uncomfortable, but if people weren’t willing to put in the work privately, might as well shove it in their fuckin faces.

I’ve been very angry and upset about all this. I’ve long since blocked the fash and their open supporters, but knowing they probably have people in the fandom just quietly supporting them and their defenders… hell I haven’t lost a lotta followers, but there hasn’t been a net gain on my end!! Which again just. God fucking damnit.

That to say, considering I’ve been pretty active in legion spaces… idk where people are with all of this. Maybe 2 or 3 people, but besides that, nothing. So, while I’ll probably be posting art still, think I won’t be as super active over here regarding legion content. Just cus, like you said, fuckin paranoia baby. So if the posts are slowing down, well now ya know. I literally do not know if yall care enough about me and other marginalized people to feel safe sharing yalls shit.

And again friend, I’m really sorry this has been so fucking disheartening. I completely get it, I wish it wasn’t. I’m not great at bein a comfort or talkin to folks, but I hope you know that it’s not just me n you, there are other people who give a shit, and none of us are “lacking in critical thinking.” God I could go on another tangent about that - BUT been kinda dragged on so. Fuck fashys and bigots forever, and if no one else bothers to say it, I love you as you are. And I hope one day we don’t gotta worry about this kinda shit in what should be spaces where we should feel safe.

[floating-in-limbo]

You're my sun, my moon, and all my stars.

Tw: self h*rm, depression, angst.

GN!Reader x Hawks angst

A vent fic I wrote because I needed to do something to cope healthily. I might write a short second ending, but idk. I didn't beta read this, but I'll polish it tomorrow and post it to my AO3 as well. Much love.

BNHA writing blog @hawksmodelofficial

The room was dark except for the faint light shining from your phone's screen. It was some what quiet due to the sound of your fan whirring, keeping your room cool. All this was part of your typical nightly routine and wouldn't be concerning except for the fact that you felt suffocated. Again.

You're sitting on your bed, the air blasting you giving you one of the only physical sensations you can feel in this state. Staring ahead into the black room, you sit and listen to all the horrid thoughts running through your head.

You feel numb and would give anything to feel something other than this suffocating emptiness. You tried your usual coping mechanisms: watching videos that usually make you laugh, listening to your comfort bands, distracting yourself with any sort of pastime.

None of it is working though. None of it has been working for a while now. This numbness, emptiness, hollow feeling consuming your body grows every day. Some days you can manage to push past it, jump over the hurdles and clear the finish line. Not today.

The last option you can think of before doing something harmful is to reach out to someone. You've been isolating yourself, but you desperately want their help at the same time.

Looking at the phone resting in your hands, you pull up Keigo's contact. It had been a couple days since the last time you two talked. He's the #2 pro hero, so he's constantly busy, but always tries to make time for you.

Y/n: are you awake

You sent the message and watched it deliver. You only ask because it's currently 3:26am and most people are asleep at this time. He responds a minute later.

Dodo Brain: what's up?

You're staring at his message. On one hand you're relieved Keigo's awake but on the other, you can already feel the guilt eating away at you for bothering him.

Y/n: i need help

Y/n: i hurt

You typed out the messages with shaky hands. Your chest tightens and you feel sick. You hate asking for help. Why should you make other people suffer because you can't help yourself?

Dodo Brain: are you ok, kid? what's wrong are you hurt???

Looking at the clock, it really hits just how tired he must be and how much you're intruding on his personal time. You decide to call off your cry for help before you make it any worse for him.

Y/n: ah yeah nvm dont worry about it sorry to wake you

You toss your phone onto your pillow. Once again, you're sabotaging yourself but you don't care anymore. Getting up from your bed, you head to the bathroom to get bandages, and tissues. While doing this, you fail to notice your text notifications going off.

Dodo Brain: kid what are you talkin about

Dodo Brain: why arent you answering

Dodo Brain: please answer me you're making me worried

Dodo Brain: im heading over now

Once you have your supplies to clean up, you head back into your room and sit back on your bed. You grabbed your hidden blade on the way and now just contemplate your actions.

Craving to feel something, anything, even if its pain and regret, you'll take it. You chose where you want to cut and begin, pulling a long line across your skin. You hiss at the immediate sting. Blood already begins to bead.

You continue to do this, almost in a daze yet you feel tears suddenly well from your eyes and fall. It hurts. Not just what you're doing, but what lead you to this point.

Unbeknownst to you, Keigo immediately flew to your residence. He grabbed the spare key you gave him and unlock the front door. Its eerily quite except for the faint sobs he can hear as he navigates the dark residence.

After you were satisfied with your work, you just sit there letting the blood drip down your skin. You'll have to do laundry but that's the least of your worries. You lean your head back against the wall and cry. Soft whispers of "I'm sorry..." leave your lips.

Keigo finds your room, using your quite cries and soft words to navigate. He flips on the lights and gasps at the scene in front of him. You jolt your head forward, eyes wide and you scramble to hide yourself. Unfortunately that only makes you wince in pain and open the wounds further.

"We need to get you cleaned up. Dont move okay? You already have bandages so let me do the work." Keigo's words dont really reach you but you sit there anyway.

He moves towards you with conviction but the energy around him is scared, nervous even. Sure he's seen your old scars before but never this. He grabs the bandages and antiseptic, applying them to all the wounds.

Every now and then you wince, and he immediately spills apologies. Your head is hanging low, you can't bear to make eye contact with him. Once Keigo finishes cleaning you up, there is an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry..." is all you can croak out before your sobbing into your hands. Embarrassment floods your head. Regret. Resent. Why did he have to come? Why did he have to see this?

"Fuck, kid. Please don't apologize. You didn't answer my texts and I figured something was wrong. I just wish I got here sooner." You can hear the pain in his usually cheery voice.

"I didn't know what to do anymore! I'm sick of feeling like this! Im sick of hurting so much that I have to hurt myself to distract from everything else. It's not fucking fair..."

Keigo stands in front of you assessing the situation. He reaches out to touch you but you shrink away from him. "Please leave, Kei...please...I'm tired."

"So am I, y/n but if you think I'm leaving you alone like this, I'm pretty sure you're the dodo brain out of the two of us." You smile ever so slightly. Its broken and he can tell.

"Let's get some clean sheets on the bed first, ok? Then we're going to sleep and I'm not leaving you alone. Not when you're hurting like this. Can you move?" You shake your head no. Not only do you hurt, exhaustion set in.

"I'm gonna pick you up alright, kid?" You nod and that's all he needs. Gently, he wraps his arms around your frame and pulling you into his chest. Red feathers move throughout your room, pulling the bloodied sheets off and tossing them into your hamper.

"I'm gonna set you down so I can grab the spares. Promise me, you'll be okay until I get back."

"Kei, you're just going down the hall."

"Y/n." His voice is stern but still soft at the same time. "Look at me." You gaze up at him and see the broken expression on his face. You never noticed the pain he probably feels right now.

"Pinky promise you'll be okay for a couple minutes." He holds out his hand, sticking his pinky out for you to reciprocate. You slowly do the same and cross fingers. "I'll be right back."

He leaves your room and you can hear him grabbing stuff from the closet with spare bedding. You sit with your head hanging down, eyes closed, thinking of everything. Keigo comes back with am armful of bedding and you shakily stand so he can change the sheets completely.

"Let's go to bed, okay?. I'm taking tomorrow off and I'm staying with you until we figure this out.

"You dont need to do that. I'll be fine, really. I dont want to burden you..." You can feel the tears well up again and you begin to shake. "Y/n, please. I can't bear to see you like this. You're the sun I see in the sky when I fly and the moon when I rest at night."

You look at him with disbelief. "Let's go to bed and talk more in the morning okay?" You nod and he moves you to bed, pulling you close but still aware of where you're hurt. His wings come around on top of you, almost like he's shielding you.

Your eyes slowly dip close as he rubs circles on your hand with his thumb.

[dukeofonions]

hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do. 

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone. 

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing... 

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more. 

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this. 

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon! 

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Contemplative Raccoon Times pt IV

This is just me talking to myself for like 900 words. Not really story related to anyone. Also me talking about how I interact with NSFW content. 

It’s kinda like a vent? Idk I just like processing this stuff like this so. You’re under no obligation to read it just me talking to myself okie doke drink your water and have a good day loves 💛

I’ve been thinking a lot about the assumptions that I grew up with. I’m not going to get into them, but I was raised pretty conservative. I’m taking this point in my life to really question them and see what I think on subjects. 

I like this world a lot better. 

Lately, the one that I’ve really been looking into is how I relate to sexual or NSFW content. It was something that I was taught to be shunned, to not really be talked about or discussed. And for me, it was really easy to just hand wave. In fact, I didn’t understand why everyone else was so hung up on it?? Like, it’s not that deep?? 

And then I found out I’m Ace lol. Queue the “OHH” sound effect. 

But really tho, it’s just not something I tend to think about. But now, I’m circling in this; “Do i disregard it from pure disinterest or because I’ve been told I should?” 

I like NSFW whump. I follow blogs that mainly do it, I have troupes I like and all that. There is some incredibly fantastic writers in the community and I love them all dearly. Artists and writers and creatives of all types. 

I just can’t write it. I’ve tried, really. I had an old OC that I wrote like 2 pieces for and then I had to scrap because it felt so deeply incorrect for some reason. Again, I like NSFW whump, it was just something about me writing it. I scrapped him. 

If anyone remembers Mark Davies, one of the reasons I had trouble relating to his story was that it included Romantic training in the BBU. I struggled with it, and eventually had to drop him as an OC because of it. 

If it’s just that NSFW is not interesting to me, that’s fine. I don’t really care. BUT, if it’s that I have some sort of hang ups about the “appropriateness” of NSFW whump… mnmnmnm i don’t like that. So i’ve really been thinking and examining how I interact with this type of content. 

And I still don’t know. 

As for me writing it, I think it’s just a side effect of how I write. All of my characters are me. Really. They are all part of my personality that I added other bits to until they seemed like a different person, but I’m the root of their emotions. I find it incredibly therapeutic. 

Silver is that chaotic angry energy from graduating college and then realizing that the world is bigger than you thought and you’ve ignored parts of yourself and other people for so long cause you were told you were supposed to so now you just want to try everything and sure maybe you’re making some dumb choices but they’re your dumb choices and you don’t want to live your life based on other people��s mistakes so you just keep running and going and doing. I’ve settled in that mindset, but I still know it well so whenever I want to write for Silver I use that as a base. He’s me. 

Brody is my people pleasing side. He’s how I dealt with bullies (true story). I used to tell myself/other people “People don’t hit things they think are cute as hard.” It’s the way that I ingratiate myself to people I don’t trust, it’s the only armor I feel like I have sometimes. So, by writing through Brody I get to examine that and grow in it and through it. I get to work through that stuff and have fun while I write! It’s perfect! He’s me. 

Tool/JJ is shame. Just, the shame that I lump onto myself. Academic shame, personal shame, any type of shame. How it controls you and how it can turn yourself into someone else. I haven’t stated a lot their story yet, but I know how they react to things that will happen in the future and I’m laying the groundwork for it now. They’re me. 

Nik… aw sweet baby Nik. Nik came from this inherent feeling of being trapped that I felt for a long time. Of course, I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time but I can see it now. That actually came to light IRL and I dealt with it, but when it comes back up I feel myself gravitating back to Nik. He’s me. 

(That doesn’t mean that every whump piece is me having an existential crisis - just that I tend to build characters off aspects of myself because that makes them easier to relate to. I do just enjoy making up stories and torturing them as well lol) 

So when I look at my characters; they’re all me. And I’m not personally comfortable with/interested in personal sexual expression, and it bleeds over into them. Even when I tried to make an OC specifically for it, it bled over again and I couldn’t go through with it. 

What is the point of this post??? I dunno. I have such a weird push and pull with NSFW whump where I’m right at the line and I suddenly pull away. I’m still not sure where I stand, I’m still not sure how I interact with it. I guess I just wanted to be open and honest with y’all. 

Also the idea of #raccoon after dark is a brilliant name for a NSFW tag and I kinda want to use it. 

[akatsuki-headcanons]

hey! i know you’re a new blog and i hope everything is going alright! could you please write some headcanons of the akatsuki comforting their s/o?

ahh tyty!! i hope everything is going alright for you too! I hope you enjoy <3

Akatsuki members comforting their s/o

Deidara

When he realizes that something’s wrong, he panics.

He really loves you and always wants to make sure you’re alright.

That being said, he’d probably feel bad about not noticing sooner.

He’d make you feel better in a heartbeat. He’s so sweet and seeing you upset hurts him.

He’d take you to a little fireworks show if theres any going on!!

If thats not up your ally, then he’d make you some drawings.

They’re actually his best pieces!!

Probably wouldn’t wanna leave your side for a little bit.

Hidan

He’s trying his best okay

He’d be really awkward about it, he doesn’t know what to do at first really

He’d try to hug you at first

If that doesn’t work he’d probably get a little frustrated, but you really can’t be surprised, it’s Hidan we’re talking about.

He’d do most of the talking. Hidan would talk about random things just to get your mind off of whatever made you upset

Like I said he’s trying his best give him some credit :(

Itachi

If you start bawling in his arms in public or near someone else, he would bring you somewhere private. Quick. He doesn’t want to make you feel even more uncomfortable.

He’s a very good listener.

You can tell this man anything, and he would never tell another soul.

He won’t do a lot of talking, but just know that he’s listening to everything you’re saying and he cares.

Is super sweet about it, would cuddle with you afterwards if you wanted to.

If you don’t feel better by the end of the day, that sucks because both you and Itachi aren’t sleeping until he knows you feel better.

Kakuzu

He wouldn’t say much, he’s more of a listener.

He wouldn’t really know what to do ngl. He’d take you out to eat and buy you a few things and hope that you feel better

Sometimes it works,

Sometimes it doesn’t.

When it doesn’t work, he’ll try even harder to cheer you up.

He’s trying his best too pls give him some time.

He’ll cuddle with you all night while you tell him about what bothered you. He’d let you fall asleep in his arms🥺 it’s probably the first time the both of you have had a moment like that.

Wakes up first to make you breakfast in bed

He’d constantly ask you if you feel better, even if you already said that you did.

Kisame

This man is such a sweetheart

Comforting you just comes naturally to him

Amazing hugger. His arms are so big and strong🥺 perfect for hugging you

He’d take you on a walk!! He’d take you to this little secret lake he knows about, and would have a picnick with you. He has all of your favorite foods there!! Also brought some extra water for you to make sure you don’t get dehydrated.

You guys would watch the sunset together while you vent to him. He feels like you guys grow more close after that.

Always checks up on you!! The perfect boyfriend.

Konan

Is probably the best person to go to, I feel like she would be very compassionate and understanding.

She would get you some water, sit down with you, and try to get your mind off of whatever bothered you.

She’d cuddle with you if you wanted to, if not thats totally cool too! She understands that sometimes you’d need space too.

After you’re calm again, she would run a nice hot relaxing bath for you. She’d probably say something like, “it’s been a long day for you, go wash up and I’ll have some food ready by the time you’re out.”

She’d give you a little spa day the day after. She would paint your nails and do your make up. Its a nice day off for the both of you.

Pain

He would be another person who is great at comforting you.

This man has a soft spot for you and you alone.

He would do everything in his power to make you feel better.

He’s staying over the next few days if you guys don’t already share a place together. He just wants to make sure you’re alright.

He has a deep yet soft voice if that makes sense. Its perfect when comforting you, and he’ll play with your hair.

If you guys aren’t physically together, he’d send you texts to check up on you.

Would probably send voice memos of him telling you how much he misses you and of how much he’s proud of how much you’ve grown as a person.

Pain would also send some wholesome memes sometimes, you know the ones with all the hearts littered all over them

Sasori

He’d also listen, but he would offer feedback if you needed it.

He’d be sort of a jerk though. He doesn’t mean to be.

He would take you stargazing while you said what was on your mind. He would probably throw in some comments here and there.

If he noticed that you were getting more upset, he’d apologize, and try to change the topic.

He’d take you out to eat afterwards to try to make up for him being a jerk.

Another one who is trying his best. You’re probably his first s/o, so he’s completly lost when it comes to things like this.

When he learns how to comfort you, he’s a God at it. He know’s how to calm you down from anything after that night.

Tobi

He’d probably tell a few jokes here and there ngl

He gives you the best hug ever. I feel like he’d be a warm person so hugs from him are always the best.

Would give you little kisses on the hands and cheeks

He’d probably do most of the talking though, but he’d shut up if he notices that you’re getting more and more upset.

He makes sure that you’re alright, though. He won’t stop bothering you until you’re smiling and laughing again.

Zetzu

Ngl I’m not too sure about Zetzu

This man has never had an s/o please give him some time

He’s never had to comfort anyone either, so he doesn’t know what to do

He’s the most clueless out of everyone else

I feel like he’s not too keen on the whole idea of physical affection, so please don’t expect much from him.

He’d probably hold your hand and rub it, but thats pretty much it ngl.

If he does embrace you in a hug, he’ll deny it happened if you try to bring it up again.

He’d offer some advice if you need it, it probably wouldn’t be the best though.

Ngl writing this made me like Kisame more. He’s always been alright to me but idk thinking abt him has made me realize that he’d probably be a good bf🥺 I really didn’t know what to do woth these hc’s so sorry if some of them are good and some of them absolutely suck FBXJWNSN you can sort of tell where I didn’t know what I was doing

[kuroosweakness]

Hi Lia! Hope you are doing well. I don't know if you are taking requests at the moment, but before I blabber out anything let me just tell you that your blog is one of my comfort blogs, like whenever I feel dejected (which is often), I just come to your Kuroo writings and get a fresh dose of serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, no matter how many times I re-read them.

Okay so here's the thing! It's kind of comfort/self-indulgent of sorts. So, like the scenario is that the reader is insecure that maybe they are too smart, studious/nerdy and independent for Kuroo. Like normally they are indifferent and doesn't even bother what is happening around, but at times they feel slightly sad when all the girls flock around Kuroo, to help them with studies or any other tasks. They know very well that some of them purposely come to him to see him and to spend time with him (Like he is so charismatic!!). But Kuroo being a sweet and helpful senior can never deny them. So reader has thoughts like "I wish I were dumb and stupid", which of course somehow Kuroo gets to know and consoles them. Like you know saying stuff like "I love your beautiful mind", "only you can find the stupid faults in my pickup lines", "genuinely laugh at my chemistry jokes", "you are my partner-in-crime" etc etc.

Feel free to shorten this request and add more characters if you feel like, as per your convenience but I am not over with my rant yet. I hope you won't mind, I just needed to vent out.

So basically the thing is I am a NERD and there are many reasons on why I love Kuroo but most importantly I feel like I could have mentally stimulating conversations with him since he is an officially recognized chem dork by the fandom. And um since I am passionate about chemistry along with every other subject under the sky (Nerd things, yeah!), so you know. But usually in most of the fics it is shown that the reader is not good at studies, and asks him for help and him being cheeky, and helping the reader out by tutoring them, like nothing wrong in that but at times I feel left out because I honestly don't need any help with my homework or any tutoring in study dates. I am at top of my work even though I procrastinate a lot. How about discussing cool stuff about the subjects that we study over such sessions? Another pathetic thing that I have observed is this disastrous pick up line used in Kuroo fics (I am sorry if you have ever mentioned it or liked it. I don't mean to hurt you) is that - "Are you a compound made up of Beryllium and Barium because you are a total BaBe"..... Like ughhhh give me a break! Beryllium and Barium have the same oxidation state of +2 , so they can't really combine to form a compound duhhh!!! Or maybe I don't know, probably Kuroo won't like a smart or studious s/o?

Anyways, I am sorry if I wasted your time and thank you if you read all of it. Sending you loads of love and take no stress. You have the complete liberty to not write this request and if you choose to write this then thank you so much <3 <3

omg hi there! i get where you're coming from!! and to answer your question, he'd most definitely love having a nerdy s/o who'll geek out over things that stimulates his brain! to be able to have complex talks and arguments with you is one of his favorite past times :) he'll talk about the things that he wonders about to you and whenever he comes across a trick question/puzzle, he'll go to you like "can you figure this out? i've been stuck on it for ages!"

and if you figure it out easily, he'll be dumbfounded ahahha

i'm very very glad that this is a comfort blog for you :' in all honesty, it's a comfort blog for me too. it feels wonderful to be able to have a platform where i can share my thoughts and interact with others who have the same ideas

about the scenario, i'd be happy to write it! but firstly, do not ever wish you're dumb and dependent >:( whaaa the things i'd trade for your brain???

- your independence and intelligence are traits that kuroo looks up to. although you're already his s/o, your independence gives him chances to seek your attention and love, all while having the reassurance that you love him already. he can have fun teasing you and chasing after you for affection, all while knowing he'll get the love back!

i don't know if this is making sense lol but kuroo wouldn't fall behind or cling onto you, instead find his own ways to turn your independence into something he finds a lot of joy in. and also because he's quite independent and busy himself, he totally understands you!

and yes, there will most likely be a flock of girls (and guys 👀) lined up outside his door to spend time with him (kuroo and his charismatic charms that are too good for their own sake) he makes it quite clear that's he's already taken and has zero interest in them besides helping out! but also, getting other peoples' attention does feel good, so his schedule involves a lot of tutoring and helping others.

except it's not a pretty sight when you walk into the library where you're supposed to meet him, and see the close proximity between him and the girl he's "tutoring"

who said that he doesn't need your help?? help goes both ways!! kuroo would go to you and seek your help and attention :) and also because he likes to have an excuse to spend time with you, all while understanding the concepts he's been struggling with!

if you ever have those "i wish i was dumb and stupid" thoughts, (which 1. you should literally NEVER BE HAVING) then kuroo would likely notice *somehow*

idk it's like his 6th sense...to connect actions and facial expressions with thoughts. he'll teasingly tell you "if you didn't have that brain and personality of yours, who'll i go to for help? you're supposed to be my plan A here"

no but seriously, what'll he ever do without you? you're making him feel *negative feelings* when you have those thoughts!

and so the conversation will turn into him covering your face in small kisses. he'll hold the sides of your face and stare at the top of your head, saying something ridiculous like "i'd kiss your brain too if i could"

and of course, you'll nudge him and he'll laugh.

you're genuinely the only one he loves giving those pick-up lines and complex jokes, mostly because 1. he loves your laugh 2. you're the only one who understands! you two will have many, many inside jokes that no one else knows about, and he thinks that's special

also, less and less girls will start going to him for help after he keeps dropping those "yeah no problem...review on monday? sorry 'bout that, i'm hanging out with my s/o that day"

or "oh, it's okay to not understand this. i didn't know what was going on until my s/o taught it to me"

~~~

YES having mentally stimulating conversations with him!!!! deep talks!! not only would you be able to have deep and complex convos with him, but also light hearted ones about movie characters, songs...he's a very open-minded person and that's what i love about him :'

how. are. you. so. smart. and. on. top. of. things. gimme ur skills and motivations D:

although you don't need tutoring on study dates, kuroo would search up difficult problems that requires a lot of critical thinking and *poof* hopefully, you'll be stuck and he'll feel all proud for knowing something you don't (bonk him on the head for me)

but if you do figure it out, he'll be like o_o the whole rest of the study date

RIGHT !! BaBe does not work together lollll (omg i've never thought about their oxidation states :0) but it's still a cute joke in a way :)

but yeah, i don't like those scientific jokes very much either. they get old after a while D:

if kuroo ever drops that joke on you, tell him to do better and he'll laugh and walk away, later trying to think of a better and accurate one

wdym kuroo won't like a studious s/o ?!!!! OF COURSE HE WOULD

~~~

no time wasted here! :) i hope my insights and thoughts were good enough because i didn't really do much writing :'D again, kuroo would be head over heels for you. *sends a handful of love and me and my neighborhood stray cat that reminds me of kuroo* <33

[fandom-necromancer]

Questions for you (if you're ok answering): what is your favorite fic that you've written and what is your favorite that you've read of somebody else's

Okay, first of all: I love getting questions! I just tend to overshare so I hope that’s okay XD That’s a hard one, though. For one because I have a shit memory, but also because there are so many and I can’t decide. So, this will likely get long and I’ll put it under the cut not to disturb people that aren’t interested!

Shorts

My favourite one I wrote lately was likely the Cyberpunk AU for the Secret Santa? Because I could write whatever I wanted really and it was the first one in a long, long time that I sat down, had no idea what to write, began writing, was sucked in and a few hours later I was sitting there with a story that I absolutely loved. And that has become such a rare occasion lately because nothing is really fun anymore because Corona keeps me in a constant down phase? Idk. That was cool.

Also, the “A little distraction” series was fun! It’s an old story from last year and when I reuploaded that one, I was blown away how many people wanted more of that. As this had been planned for a longer story initially I had to condense into a short, it made me happy too, because people would have liked to read the longer version too, maybe? If I had ever written it? It was just really cool.

The Halloween short with Gavin being an eldritch shadow monster most people overlook completely was fun also because of the same reason as the Cyberpunk AU. I got lost in that one so hard. Really fun to write.

My all-time favourite short story  though is likely the pebble series. It started as a joke in my head but when I sat down to write it, it just felt natural. I kinda really projected on Nines in there and I think I like his personality there the most from all the fics I’ve written about him. They are both just really cute in there.

You can also look for the top ten stories in my opinion from last year’s anniversary if you search my blog in the tag #One Year of Stories and I think the real tag was something like #Last year revisited? I’m not sure though because tumblr and searching blog tags is horrible, hence the archive project XD. Should be around June 2020.

Big stories

I would say A Soldiers Purpose, but that doesn’t count as it isn’t a fic anymore while I rewrite it to be an original Story. Plan to publish that as a “real world” book in German and English hard copy as well as eBook and it should be international publishing? I’m not that sure as I’m still comparing self-publishers and some only serve Germany, US and Australia whats weird but okay. Although I believe with ISBN it should be available almost everywhere just not in stores? I always planned to have it ready before I finished my bachelor thesis but we will see if that is happening (I guess not but I will try). 

The Werewolf AU, definitely. It started as a vent fic to get me out of a really bad place (I guess anyone who read Somebody to die for knows it’s pretty dark) and I mean I’m here now and while I’m not happy I’m definitely happier than when I wrote it so... win? But now that I’m writing Wolfheart I really want to give them a happy ending and hopefully once that story ends the whole personal reason I started writing it ends too, so yeah. Maybe a really personal reason but I’m really invested in that story.

My favourite fic I have ever, ever written though will be one you never get to read (thankfully, hopefully). It’s super old, it’s German, it’s uploaded on a different platform I hope no one of you knows, it’s under yet another name of mine and it’s absolutely objectively bad. The writing is bad, the plot is okayish and I literally killed off the gay characters without noticing that as something bad because I was a very different person back then. But I love it to this day regardless because it got me through some hard times.

Also, as a last comment to my own stories I love my longer stories on AO3 far more than these shorts. Not because they are more fun to write or anything but because I feel like I put a lot of effort into them and put a lot of soul into the stories. But yeah, that’s to that.

Other’s works

My favourite fics I read are so, so damn many… I generally write more than I read but with the amount I write I guess it cancels it out. Also some are pretty old because I mostly read fanfic on the bus and now I haven’t really left the house for a year. I’ll try to keep it short. They are not in any particular order I just went through a few sites of my history. Really I just enjoy everything reverseAU, SoulmateAU, Mute!Nines and them all being softies. Also just the dbh stuff because I’m not sure you would be interested in other fandoms.

Accident by sv926 Soulmate AU, I really dig how the personality of Nines and Gavin are displayed and that it isn’t a “We are soulmates all is perfect now” storyline (although I like that too). Amazing.

Traitor by Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine If hurt/comfort was a fic. MedieavalAU. I really love the portrayal of manipulation and how Nines tries to save Gavin from it all. Also Nines is a painter so I’m in.

Soft Spot by Headfulloffantasy A story I really regret not reading earlier. Casefic with amazing characterisation and a plot that leaves you on the edge. Every time you think you got an overview of what happened or an idea of how it continues there is another facette revealed that you just didn’t expect. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

XVIII��by Sandara Cuteness overload but also prepare for the feels. It’s an ReverseAU that is set during the game events. It’s so damn well written I just love it.

Feral Nines by Kaini Nines whump. Kinda. I love it so much. Broken Nines is my weakness and also Mute!Nines. You get a lot of feelings reading this.

all the lonely nights in your life by  willgrahamssadness SoulmateAU that hurts but picks you up and shows you all the fluff in the end. I love it.

Safe and sound by a_calipygian Soft Reed900. With a lot of hurt/comfort. Lovely story about healing and found family. 

The Lion Tamer by celexdraw Equally cute as their drawings. CircusAU I didn’t know I needed but it is so well done. It is a happy story but has enough darkness to make me miss my busstop.

Despite it All by Jennilah Another SoulmateAU I absolutely love. Also has Hannor content I think but I didnt get to read that part yet.

Scrapyard Rookie by Pence Reverse AU that caught my heart. Really cute but with a little bastard GV if I remember correctly.

Sleeves by BloodthirstyMerc More Mute!Nines talking about Gavin’s past self harm. Super cute and comforting and aaaaa.

These Violent Delights by MechanicalBones Will absolutely destroy you. Is amazing and everything I ever wanted. Can recommend to those who too enjoy holding back tears on the bus.

Static Truth and Hunter Hunter Hunted by whatsanapocalae Both are super cute, super angsty and so, so comforting. The author has a really nice writing style too. Got to these fics because i wrote their Deus Ex stuff and discovered they write dbh too.

Rewind the Film by connorssock,Sylvestia Allen60. You will cry. And you will like it. I’m happy it was like 11pm on a bus  no one uses coming home from uni when I came to the part that hits you right in the feels. You have to read it.

Heavy In Your Arms by CatiDono More ReverseAU with Gavin whump. It’s also kinda a reset story. I usually don’t like these, but it starts after the reset so we never get to see the Gavin from before, just the onset of “I used to be a person before and there is someone loving me and grieving but I don’t know them but they are nice what do I do?” I really enjoyed this, although it’s kinda a heavy thing to read.

A mute Gavin one I can’t remember who or where it was from. I think it was on tumblr and timewise before the cornpocalypse but I’m not sure. Could be from connorssock? definitely on tumblr and Gavin lost his voice due to injury. I will try to find that again.

Also one from tumblr I can’t remember the name of, but it was homeless Gavin with Nines helping him. I think that one was from dumb-ways-to-deviate?

I could go on, but I already told far to much when you asked for like... 2 stories? I’m just excited to talk about stories XD

[damienhaasbaybee]

Figured it out 😂 for the let's get personal, can I request that you do them all?

I DID IT BAYBEEEEEEE.

* 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I’ll Be There For You and Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi, In My Head by Ariana Grande, I Believe by Jonas Brothers, Air Force Ones by Nelly, and Chasing Pavements by Adele

* 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Harry Styles or Damien Haas so they can fall in love with me.

* 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that causes damage”

* 4: What do you think about most? the fact that I have nothing to really work towards

* 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m tireddd”

* 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

without most of the time

* 7: What’s your strangest talent?

number and address recall 🙄 its embarrassing sometimes lol

* 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to get more stupider

* 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

fuck no lol

* 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um... today.. in the car

* 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

raw chicken.

* 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

a piece of ice so i could pierce my nose.

* 13: What’s your religion?

christian

* 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

um... if its for pleasure... swimming.

* 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

* 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

of all time... linkin park or one direction

* 17: What was the last lie you told?

that I’m fine lol

* 18: Do you believe in karma?

v much so

* 19: What does your URL mean?

um... i am damien haas’ baybee and he is also my baybee

* 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness, helping people until I die strength, i am honest

* 21: Who is your celebrity crush ?

james marsden, david dobrik, zac efron, miles teller, damien haas...

* 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no

* 23: How do you vent your anger?

i sing real fucking loud

* 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

one direction memorabilia lol

* 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

either works with me tbh

* 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes.

* 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound I hate: hearing others talk on the phone, sound I love: rubbing clean hands on a clean table

* 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I’m just crazy and none of this is real

* 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes. anything is possible.

* 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my comforter both times lol

* 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

a clean house lol

* 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhhh Louisville

* 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast because i have never been

* 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles

* 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave the earth better than I found it

* 36: Define Art.

art is everything and nothing that a person wants it to be

* 37: Do you believe in luck?

I do. circumstances create luck.

* 38: What’s the weather like right now?

pretty clear

* 39: What time is it?

10:08pm

* 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes! I won’t say what it was but it hit ME.

* 41: What was the last book you read?

I tried reading Girl Wash Your Face but couldn’t get into it.

* 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

* 43: Do you have any nicknames?

yes I do... you can call me queen tho.

* 44: What was the last film you saw?

Legally Blonde

* 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

several ankles sprained severely on each side.

* 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

* 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes. damien haas.

* 48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, demisexual, pansexual????

* 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes. I was pregnant.

* 50: Do you believe in magic?

no.

* 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes, unfortunately.

* 52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer

* 53: Do you save money or spend it?

both!

* 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a carwash for my dads truck

* 55: Love or lust?

both

* 56: In a relationship?

somewhat

* 57: How many relationships have you had?

two

* 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

* 59: Where were you yesterday?

home

* 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes, my water bottle

* 61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no, never

* 62: What’s your favourite animal?

polar bear

* 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

my hospitality (including dis mouf)

* 64: Where is your best friend?

idk, at home?

* 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oooooo bisquett, thebasketcase101, persistence-ofmemories, creativegoof, and zanesgirlfriend

* 66: What is your heritage?

I am part native american and european as far as i know. i want to do a 23andme so I can find out. My skin tans realllllly dark even with tons fo sunscreen on so that makes me think I have more Native American than I thought.

* 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely watching New Girl

* 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk... Jones?

* 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

biiiiitch of course I have.

* 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I may suck but I am loyal as hell and I’ll do anything for my friends.

* 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog, fuck that job.

* 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes b) spend it with family and write a book c) fuck yes. i am terrified of death all the time.

* 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. love is nothing without being able to trust.

* 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It’s A Great Day to Be Alive by Travis Tritt

* 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1389.. not in that order.

* 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty and communication.

* 77: How can I win your heart?

buy me food and show me that I can trust you with my heart. I sturggle to trust people. I also NEED to be called pet names.

* 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes.

* 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Quitting my toxic ass job.

* 80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5

* 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

She did her best, even when odds were against her.

* 82: What is your favourite word?

I dont have a favorite but my least favorite is “creamy”.

* 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love.

* 84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“ooooo bitch”

* 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Always You, Louis Tomlinson

* 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

darkkk red and black

* 87: What is your current desktop picture?

bitch I aint been on there in so long, I have no clue.

* 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump

* 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

depends on who is asking, if its my family... asking my sexuality.

* 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Fucking scream and run.

* 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Mind reading.

* 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Seeing my dads face when I walked across the stage at graduation or him telling me how I looked in my junior prom dress.

* 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching my dad die.

* 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Harry Styles.

* 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The beach, pronto.

* 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not anymore

* 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

No

* 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. I loved it.

* 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Love others like you would like to be loved and see where that gets you.

[bigskydreaming]

New here, sorry if it's a question you get too many times. What exactly happened between you, seekingxanadu and super/ claire person? If I look you up her long post about you two and her calling each other out comes up but there's no mention of fandom or what the reason for that calling out was? I don't want to assume anything or judge any of you when I don't have the context or even an inkling of what it's about.

LOL, s/uperohclair (think that’s what her URL was) has a call out post about me? I can only imagine what it says.

*Shrugs* It wasn’t that big a deal tbh. I made one of my aggro posts about STOP WRITING JASON HITTING DICK IN EVERY FIC LIKE ITS NO BIG DEAL, she hopped on it to say this was me bullying the fandom - yes, all of fandom - and I reacted with a vent post about how ridiculous I found that logic. As well as the fact that a paragraph she’d written was virtually identical to an anon I’d gotten barely a month before, giving me grief about something I said about Ao3. So I also griped about the fact that I was pretty positive she was the author of the anon I’d gotten, and that I suspected her issue with me and opinions of me had more to do with that than the actual post she’d responded to given that half her post segued into that topic even when it had nothing to do with “stop writing Jason hitting Dick in every fic like its no big deal.” 

All of this was one, two posts tops on my part, not even addressed directly to her but rather about the situation as I saw no point in engaging further after my first back-and-forth response to her response. 

Oh, and in the interests of full disclosure, I also in response to her ‘you’re bullying fandom’ accusation briefly wrote a post I put under a cut that was basically me just venting about how much being accused of bullying by shouting at her by typing stuff in all caps in a generic post that wasn’t even aimed at anybody specific, least of all her, like...that got under my skin because I haaaaaate when people pull shit like trying to act like they’ve been personally attacked when they’re literally approaching me for the first time and before that I’d never heard of her in my life (And you’ll notice I type tons of stuff in all caps, and its not even usually that Im mad, its usually just to emphasize anything from me being excitable, thinking something is ridiculous, pretty much a dozen other things aside from just “IM ANGRY AND YELLING ABOUT IT). Anyway, I deleted that post ten minutes after I made it because it was literally just one of those ‘need to get it out’ things so I didn’t steam about it all day, but apparently that was enough for her to make a thing about how I was playing the martyr. 

(Basically the whole Ao3 thing and what I still suspect was the real root of her issue with me is I’m a rape and abuse survivor and I often make rant/vent posts about how much fic about fetishized rape, incest and pedophilia there is in fandom. And I happen to think I have every right to express this sentiment on my own damn blog, and about the fact that people are often more bothered by me doing THAT than apparently I’m allowed to be bothered by how prevalent that content is. 

*Shrugs* Its my blog. I’ll say what I want to, about whatever I want and am thinking or feeling, and I don’t actually do anything to stop people from writing whatever they want, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions about it, and I object to people giving me shit for just....doing that in public, lol. As far as I can tell based on the one or two posts I saw on her blog that same day, the real reason she thinks I’m a bully is because when I go on these rants about this content, THIS is what’s bullying her because its me making her feel bad about liking something and....I’m sorry, but that’s just not what bullying is, and also hilariously ironic considering it displays zero awareness or concern about how the thing she likes makes me feel so why should my reaction prioritize how she feels? I don’t get that logic, and I’m not here for it, but whatever.)

Anyway, all of that actually happened within just like....the span of maybe five posts, in less than a single day, and was my literal only interaction with her outside of the anon ask and answer I suspect was her the month before. Then I blocked her and said that was the last interaction I intended to have with her, so she couldn’t possibly feel bullied by me, and unless I’m forgetting something, I’m pretty sure that’s the literal last I’ve mentioned her til now. 

*Shrugs again* That’s it, that’s the whole story, that’s all it was, and I have no idea what she’s said about me since or how frequently, but tbh I don’t really care. Seekingxanadu weighed in on the vent post I wrote to express they’d had some conflict of their own with her that she was holding a grudge over, but tbh I have no idea what it was and has nothing to do with me beyond the fact that I guess she still hates us both or whatever. Idk.

I’m fine answering this once because I don’t feel I did anything to be ashamed of, all the posts other than that read more that existed for all of ten minutes are still up (I believe this was back in February but I’m honestly not sure, it feels like it was longer ago than that but I have zero sense of time in 2020 lololol) and I can understand not knowing what to make of a public dispute between two people where you don’t know whose version to believe, so this is my take on it, and the only one I care to make. 

As far as I’m concerned, the matter is done and dealt with and I have no desire to expand or dwell on it further, so make what you will of this post and anything else you find about it in my archives. That should be enough for you or anyone else to determine how you feel about me based on that and whatever it is she has to say, especially considering that’s literally all that exists on the matter or my interactions with or opinion of her. At least on my side of things. *Third Act Shrug and Scene*

But yeah, there’s the answer to your question and if anyone else was wondering about that or does so in the future, I’ll just refer them to this post because tbh that’s really all I have to say on the matter.

[yaboylevi]

Thanks for replying!! When a new chapter comes out, I always make sure to read your thoughts! If you don't mind, I'll probably keep coming with my asks :) I really just need to vent to someone who shares my frustration with what the story has become, seems like you're the only one. It just feels like there's no characters anymore, only plot devices. Of course you can ignore them and not answer them, don't really want to force you to talk about something you don't enjoy that much anymore :)

Hi!!

I read all of it, dw. I’ll be posting your other messages under the cut, for convenience. But trust me, I’m not the only one fed up with the story and annoyed by how the characters have been made to act. I honestly see more disappointment than anything else, maybe because now that it’s confirmed there are so few chapters left, all the people who were hoping for “more” for their favorite characters have realized they probably won’t get what was promised them by the author. I also don’t follow all the snk fanboys and fangirls, so there’s that. The “ISAYAMA GOAT” people, lol.

In any case, you must have missed my venting phase that lasted like a couple of years, but in 2020 I am really officially done. I’ll rant a bit when a chapter comes out, but otherwise, I don’t think about snk much to the point of getting worked up (mostly) XD If you search a bit, you’ll find some blogs who are still in the venting phase ahah

“Regarding your reply: yes I had thought the same about a possible connection with nature through paths, I'm /strangely) positively curious about what it implies. About the Dina situation: I honestly don't know what to think, I absolutely agree with you that it wouldn't make sense for Eren to kill his mother, but Isayama is ridiculously keen on the "Eren bad, Warriors good" lately, that I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled something like that :/ It would just further ruin the story though... (1)“

BIG AGREE ahah that’s one of the reasons why I don’t feel attached to snk anymore. It’s just stupid at this point, how everyone gets excused, even fucking Magath, except Eren. Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised either.

(2) But then I thought about it a little bit more and I've come up with a theory to give me a little bit of hope: I realized that Carla was already "dead", she was stuck under the rubble with her legs crushed. So maybe, just maybe, Eren controlled Dina to give her a swift and relatively painless death? If you think about it, Dina killed her before eating her, which is pretty strange considering other mindless titans usually eat their victims alive. I don't know, I'm just trying to come up (3)

You just filled me with dread. If that were the case, it would be so fucking sad and messed up for Eren to have to make that choice...jesus...

(4) with something that wouldn't make Eren a completely psycopathic monster. I don't know why he is going this way with his character. Making him even more evil and corrupted is not going to make me like the "hero" characters more, but just everyone and the story less. He's ruined them too much already, it's clear to me there just devices to push the plot forward to where he wants. I don't care who dies or survives. the only thing I'm curious about is the last plot twist and what the finale (5)

Big mood.

(6) he envisioned since the start is. It's too bad I feel like he's done with the manga and rushing the hell through it, but there's nothing to be done about it. Of course I'll just have to wait for it to actually end to properly judge it, but if I could name the final arc I would say: Wasted Potential, or, alternatively, Attack on Titan: the Parody. :D I won't bother you anymore for a while, sorry for the wall of text XD I really needed it XD

Yeah, I really felt like you needed it ahah. “Wasted Potential” made me smile! I agree with you about everything. It’s just...it could’ve been so much more than this. In one interview he said he wanted to showcase how a murderer is made, that anyone could become one, something like that. If this is the only thing he’s striving for, with Eren’s character I mean, then...I don’t know...It feels forced. I saw more than one person say that we are still missing a big moment that made Eren tip into this murderous abyss, and I agree. What we have seen until now is just NOT ENOUGH to make this shit believable. And when it comes to the characters’ decisions, Isayama has always striven for realistic - because the unrealistic things are the titans, not the complexity of humanity. He’s just lost the whole touch of the story if this is it for Eren, imo. 

Omg I'm so sorry for the vent! You're right of course, we should focus on the things we like. I don't know why I did it, I usually don't do stuff like this! It's just that finally I had found someone that didn't wear rose tinted glasses regarding snk, couldn't believe it! Everyone keeps going on how a masterpiece it is and I'm like, really? XD It doesn't even hurt me at all, I just find myself laughing when reading new chapters. Anyway sorry, won't do it again :D

My exasperation wasn’t about you, honestly ahah Just people sending me stuff that I have repeatedly said I didn’t wanna talk about + usual people sending me “the manga is so bad” asks which I mean, I agree but. Every month is the same song and I have nothing to add to it, and I wanna keep my blog a bit cleaner. Idk. Weird mood.

Anyway, thanks for this discussion! I also laughed a bunch of times the past few chapters cause I cannot for the life of me take the “heroes”’ struggles seriously. Though mostly I sneer at them. Oops.

[queenharumiura]

|･ω･｀) + me? UwU

Send me |･ω･｀) + a URL and I’ll talk about this blog! ||Accepting||

AYYY LEO! I honestly cannot remember when we started interacting, but I really want to say it’s because we met each other via that one KHR Discord server that was up like a year or two ago. Never trust in my sense of time-- but I think it was like 1-2 years ago. 

I feel like that’s where we met. D-don’t quote me on that tho. Anyway, I met your Byakuran blog first, and I do recall the one blog... was it Tenshidoll? I remember it was like ‘yo, he dresses up too. Totes could do a thing’ and I was like ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! Pretty sure that was a indie blog

I know you did follow me with a number of your Isola affiliated blogs as well. Including this one of course. It’s always nice to know that someone values you enough to follow you on multiple blogs =w=

We’ve talked quite a lot via discord. We’ve both vented to each other, talking about all SORTS of stuff. It really helped me get to know you as a person? So even if we haven’t threaded extensively with each other, i’m very comfortable with you. 

I think I can recall you apologizing a few times when you get real excited about something (like your love for musicals for one), but I really don’t mind? Though, that’s not really accurate to say either in retrospect. I said it before and I’ll say it again. I truly do like to see people enjoy something and get excited over it. 

You get so excited when talking about your cats (especially Baby), your threads, musicals, the one comedian guy whose name I can’t remember bc I suck with names, Bioshock, etc. I honestly find it so endearing and cute. I don’t understand a lot of it since I don’t really follow Marvel/DC, nor am I a gamer, but it’s still nice to see you get excited over something. 

I try to understand as much as I can, and I do try to react whenever possible. It’s always nice to see when you randomly pop into my discord with something to either share or to update me on-- like you finished a game, and you had to do certain things to get a good ending. Even though you really wanted to do a thing-- you WANTED THAT GOOD ENDING. 

Me: Nah, I would’ve destroyed her tbh.

I’m pretty sure I mentioned to you the things I went through in the past with KHR fandom, so i’m sure I don’t have to go that far into it. Basically, I will forever appreciate the fact that you followed me and actually did interact with my Haru. It does my old heart good. 

I do secretly worry about you a lot, like with your job and what not. I do hope that you’re doing well. Know that when someone is being unkind to you, I am mentally kicking them. 

I type these in real-thought time, so it’s probs chaotc-- sorry bout that. Before I forget again, I do want to make sure of something. Sometimes when we talk, I may seem unenthused or w/e and that’s probably because I legit have no idea what to say and i’m just like ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; what do, what say? I also am a pretty jaded person sometimes, so I can just dive into that state. It doesn’t mean that i’m not interested or what. 

I just-- idk. Sometimes emoting is hard for me. I hope you don’t think that I’m uncaring, or annoyed by you talking about stuff that excites you. It truly does warm my heart to see someone enjoy something so much. It’s always so endearing to watch you loving something so much. It makes me happy because it’s something that excites you, and you chose me (of all people) to talk about it with. 

To me, it feels like you trust me enough to want to talk to me about it, and that’s so nice. Da honor--.

Also, I do remember that I talked to you about my random different headcanons. In particular, my headcanons for the KHR flames. I want to say we did this via call... but I could be wrong... maybe it was just by typing. I know that most people I talked to my headcanons about, it was via call. Even then it wasn’t many people, which is why i’m struggling to remember what it was. STILL, I do know for a fact that you were one of the people I did talk to, because we did discuss Byakuran after the fact. You asked if I thought it made sense for Byakuran to have the sky flame, and I was like yeah absolutely. If you think about it, the way that he knows about information across universes isn’t too far from hyper-intuition or seeing into the future, so to me, it made sense. 

Is the very spark-noted version of that conversation. It was just a lot of fun talking with you about that headcanon, and I rarely talk to people about that headcanon so it stuck with me that we talked about it. It was nice that you asked a follow up question (ie Byakuran). It shows that you did pay attention and took care to take in my thoughts. Greatly appreciate. 

I appreciate you as a friend. Historically, you have come into my discord asking if i’m okay if i’m having a rough time, and I won’t forget about that. I truly treasure that and I treasure the friendship that we have. 

Also A+++++++++++ times when you show me pics of the cats. 100000000% A++++++++++ much approved, would recommend. 5 stars, deserving of oscars. 

I really don’t know what else to really say, aside from that it’s nice to see how loyal and dedicated you are. It’s always nice to hear you talk about your fiance and how you get angry for him and things. It’s good that he has someone who will have his back. It’s very nice to see and i’m sure he knows how blessed he is to have you in his life. 

I know i’m blessed to have met you. ^^

I hope reading this put a smile on your face!

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

Hope you’re doing okay, I know there’s been a lot going on the past couple weeks. 🌈🌈💛💛

FOOF YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN

thank you for the good vibes anon, i love you and it means a lot to me. however unfortunately now im gonna use this to vent dump exactly how much has been going on the past couple weeks off the top of my head. this is actually pretty far from Everything thats happen but im so tired and dont want to think about any of it anymore

my grandma passed away last week. we were prepared for it and we know she’s at peace in a better place et cetera et cetera, her body was all full of restraints & impediments that she doesnt have to deal with anymore and the next time she’s in a body it’ll be all New And Improved and awesome. i missed so much work in anticipation of this that now i can’t get work off on the day of the funeral, so i can still go to it but i’ll have to go immediately to work right from it and have to pretend everythings fine and dandy and nothings going on.

everyone at work Does know there’s something going on however and the two coworkers i have who are actually like i consider them friends mostly they’re all like Hey Im Here For You Talk About Your Feelings Honestly with me and i. dont. want. to talk about my feelings at work. thats not what work is for and i dont like talking about my feelings anyway and i dont want them to ask anymore

the changes to the handbook and the honor code have completely sunk my heart. i had so much hope up until those hideous ridiculous unfathomably transphobic things they wrote and now i don’t feel like i can trust or have hope in ANYTHING the institution does anymore. ive been up all night going back and forth over whether i want to go to church today. or ever again. it’s not bringing me joy. it’s making me feel anxious and depressed and frustrated and alone. i keep seeing people just on the street or on facebook who are so happy and content with the church and whatever it does and i just…i get struck every single time with this thought of “they don’t care about me. they don’t care about any of these problems. they’re not affected personally by it and so they don’t care.”

and then that makes me feel like such a hypocrite because!!! ive been them too for so long!! what makes this moment so different!!!!! why is this the straw that breaks the camel’s back when the camel should have thrown off the whole burden and run to join its friends at the first strike of the owner’s whip!!!!!!

plus it’s making me feel gross about my mormon memes blogs. idk if i can keep running those anymore.

im failing this semester anyway and i keep getting emails about it. i was planning to take a break from school After this semester but ive missed so much class that i just really can’t go back to any of them so i guess im just dropping out right now. as much as i’d love to participate in all the incredible amazing protests going on right now i really really cant be on campus at all without feeling literally physically ill. and my Hope was to do really well this last semester and then submit mission papers and that way i’d know exactly what next to do with my life until i decide what After, and id be able to Get Out somewhere and travel someplace while still feeling like my life has some semblance of structure and direction. however! HOWEVER!!!!!!!!

i’ve been feeling so, so horrible and so worn down and i dont even know where or what my testimony is anymore. but that’s probably a lot lower on the list of Why I Can’t Serve A Mission, because a. i still don’t trust my Local Bishop enough to talk to him about things The Handbook says to b. i am finding it harder and harder and harder to be perceived as female. i never really have dysphoria about my body or my presentation or anything but like, when people say Sister and Ma’am and Miss and Daughter and Hey Pretty Lady It’s Me Your Relief Society President it’s like…that’s not me. that feels gross. and i wear suits and ties to church, have done so for a while and never get any flak for it, and im gradually working up the nerve to maybe start introducing myself as lev or levi instead of lillie buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. socially transitioning apparently is not allowed.

not to mention my temple recommend expired ages ago anyway. anxiety about bishops prevented me from ever going in for an interview to renew it. i haven’t visited the temple once since before graduating high school. but every time i see it or think about it i long for it so badly and it hurts so much.

and also like, i get that same kinda horrible regretful longing feeling whenever i hear violin music? because i played violin for a few years and then stopped but i still have the instrument because it was given to me by my grandmother. who played it herself until sickness wouldn’t let her anymore and she entrusted it to me and i Stopped Playing but then i hoped to pick it up enough to at least learn how to play her favorite song and aw wouldn’t that be so nice to play that for her on her violin except i never actually got around to printing out the sheet music or practicing At All. and now she’s gone.

and one of the last things she said to me was that she would love to hear my book since her eyesight was too gone to read it so i said i’d record it as soon as i got the right software/hardware to do that and then i never did that either. also i promised alla yalls that book would be Published Published coming up on four months ago now and i still haven’t done that

i took a pair of safety scissors to my forearms as mentioned in a previous post and surprise surprise, the lines have not healed still, it’s getting warmer outside and thus harder to wear long sleeves, and guess what! a while ago on a separate occasion i complained that i kinda wished my self harm scars looked more like the classic cutter lines and Now They Do!! And I Hate It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a couple nights ago my little sister saw them and so i told her i got attacked by a spider-pawed bear and fortunately my brother Understands and backed me up like ��dang what do they teach in schools these days i cant believe youve never heard of the spider-pawed bears that live in the mountains and are totally normal and real”

and steven universe is ending. that’s a thing.

and like….okay. not everything in my emotions right now is bad. some of it is just complicated. one coworker friend i have recently confessed that she’s had a crush on me for several months now. fortunately when she said this i was able to be honest and say that im not super eager for a relationship right now, im not ready in the slightest to settle down or anything, im still hung up on my high school crush and also dealing with issues from my last relationship, and she replied that’s all perfectly fine and she doesn’t have any expectations and she’s great being friends and we can take things at whatever pace is good

except i also now have a date with said high school crush loosely planned for tomorrow and i told this coworker friend about it and she admitted it’s making her a little jealous and then she said jealous is an ugly word and amended it to Insecure and i feel bad about that

but i also like. am really excited for this date. like it’s not really a for sure romantic capital-d Date and that’s fine, but i haven’t seen this friend irl for so long and ive been missing her so much over this past little while that we’ve been internet chatting and that ive been i guess officially falling back in love with her but i also like, i dont know what her deal is romantically right now i don’t want to presume anything but i really really really am itching to see her

work is stressful. it’s only gonna get more so as weather gets warmer. but we’re getting two new managers with loads of experience and glowing reviews next week. i have hope that they’ll makes things a little lighter.

and there’s also. good things. peridot took off her visor for the first time ever in canon and i saved like 50 different gifs of it to my computer cus it rocked my world. sonic has she-ra toys for the kids meals and i managed to snag a tiny inflatable version of the sword. i’m making cosplays of the tres horny boys from the adventure zone and they’re all very exciting and making things makes me very very happy. i’m finding joy in all the fanfictions i’m writing right now and in talking about dungeons & dragons with my brothers and friends. ducknerva is a very beautiful Good Ending version of marahope which makes me happy and taako is a super effective projection outlet. i bought cupcakes today and they were delicious. and when i think about those good things, when i think about any good thing no matter how small, everything else disappears.

whatever happens happens i guess.

she who lives will see.

[stupidstubbornbravebitchoftarth]

Sorry if this is a bit depressing but I just had the most horrible thought & need to vent. We know that GRRM told D&D about some characters’ endings - what if the ending he told them for Jaime was that he and Cersei die together??? And 8x05 was D&Ds Interpretation of that (it was shit and I hated it) but what if it was partly true?? I’m legit panicking rn, I cried for weeks after season 8 finished bc I couldn’t cope I have no idea what I’ll do if Jaime somehow dies with Cersei in the books too..

I know what you feel like and every once in awhile I get depressed about that too. But I am also pretty good at envisioning Brienne and Jaime on Tarth, teaching their little baby girl how to fight with a sword, while the sun sets over dark green meadows and the sapphire blue waters and they are at peace at last – it helps.

Disclaimer my knowledge about the whole GRRM vs. Dumb&Dumber debacle is very superficial – so what I am gonna tell you now is mostly what I can remember having read in other people’s posts lmao.

So for starters I believe having read somewhere that GRRM has been less and less involved in the actual writing process of the show BC he finally started working on the books. Praise God, She is too kind. He actually said he is kind of sorry for it but work e.g books caught up to him and it seemed like he didn’t even like the ending for the show (see the post where people compared his reaction to Marvel’s Endgame vs. The Reaction to his own show – it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t Tag for shit so yeah just Google it it’s probably faster …. )

So for me that COULD mean that he was less and less contact with the writers and honestly maybe he actually wrote some of what he told D&D but then changed his mind and wrote other endings without telling D&D because a) he felt like it b) it’s his work c) probably thought D&D were fucking incompetent d) it was too late anyway

Also I just think that if he really kills Jaime off, which is always possible but I don’t think is going to happen,  it will be way more justified death, a just death not some fucking bricks. Like we know he is looking at Jaime and Brienne as a Beauty and the Beast retelling and Cersei is not of that much importance to him and he literally said that Jaime and Cersei’s relationship disgusts him or something along the lines of that. So I really cannot come up with a lot off GRRM worthy scenarios of Jaime dying with his sister other than maybe he will have to sacrifice his life to take her down or some shit but that is boring … in my opinion. Like I just don’t see a realistic ending that involves both of them dying at the same time for the simple reason that in the books Jaime is way more important than Cersei and I, personally wouldn’t sacrifice such a multifaced character like Jaime for a probably very funny to write but sometimes rather one dimensional alcoholic maniac, powerhungry villainess … like Jaime’s redemption arc is far from complete but Cersei’s plot? Idk I am not that far in the books yet but to me it seems like all signs are pointed towards her demise. Again it’s ASOIAF so GRRM could probably still find a way to redeem her or whatever but I don’t really see the point in it. I always felt like he is writing Jaime and Cersei in a way that, as the story goes on, reveals  that they in fact don’t mirror each other but are polar opposites actually pulling away from each other e.g the further Jaime heads towards redemption “the path of light” if you wanna say it like that, the further Cersei heads towards darkness and the only way they are equal can be found in the intensity their characters are involving, showing that House Lannister can be a force of evil and a force of good in equal measure or something going into that direction – it’s just a feeling though.

Also several prophecies and dreams are still unexplained and unresolved as far as I know like why is homeboy dreaming of naked Brienne with a sword in her hand – other than the fact that he is utterly and eternally in love with her

Why are literally all of their dreams revolving around each other

And, this is something I think about at least 435 times a day – D&D are fucking illiterate. While Gwendoline Christie does an amazing, incredible, showstopping, Oscar worty portrayal of everybody’s favorite highborn Ser fucking Brienne of Tarth – D&D’s interpretation of Brienne is …. well the thing you would excpect from two white dudes. They completly left out one part of Brienne which makes her so dear to many – the soft side, the femine side of her, the romantic side.  While she is the best fighter in Westeros, that’s not all she is and wants to be. Like tons of better analysts and writers pointed out – People tend to forget that she a) is a HIGHBORN LADY b) had to become a swordswomen to somehow make it in the Patriachy she is living in – which with her being deemed as ugly is even more of hellish nightmare. She didn’t really see another option other than becoming a Knight because everything else would have meant a lifelong endurance of humilation and submission. So at 16 she said, Fuck it, I will FIGHT any man who wants to oppress me for the rest of my life,  AND SO SHE DID. Her other option would have been eternal unhappiness and marriage to a man like four times her age. She became who she is because she had to. Unlike Arya who always hated being Lady however, Brienne is in someways way more similar to Sansa – both of them believe in tales of knights in shining amour that save maidens. Like as far as I can remember Brienne doesn’t hate being a Lady – she hates how she is being treated for it, THAT being said I think D&D failed to portray the overwhelming amount of that Brienne, so I am not very convinced that D&D truly interpreted and wrote things in the final episode the way GRRM would have – I mean look at the script lmao.

Also one way Jaime Lannister could potentially DIE is in a not literal way. Like the Death of Jaime Lannister could also be him becoming Jaime of Tarth? “Dying” in the arms of the woman he loves? – When he sleeps with Brienne for the first time on their wedding night or at least for the first time ( I mean having sex pretty much equals marriage in their world and they are both big softies so….) Or him “dying” by doing something extremly heroic therefore complety parting ways with the arrogant, the “evil” character parts of him (obessed with Cersei etc.) , signaling the completion of his redemption arc – like idk he slays a dragon for the lack of a better example so “Kingslayer” dies but “Dragonslayer” lives on. Like I am 90% sure the Kingslayer part of him is going to die and the Oathkeeper lives on. 

Also what happens in Beauty and the Beast? The beast dies – or so we think. What if Jaime pulls a Jon and gets murdered and then revived. Honestly we really don’t know how D&D interpreted what GRRM told them.

To sum up

Yeah, Cersei and Jaime could probably end up dying together again and I would probably never know happiness again.  Anything is still possible and everybody is entitled to their theories until the books come out and prove all of us wrong anyway. I personally don’t think it is going to happen I am just willing to believe that GRRM is a better writer than D&D and that is not very hard. For one, Cersei is not THAT important, Jaime’s redemption arc is unfinished and several prophecies unexplained. Jaime and Brienne’s arcs are connected and killing one or both of them of would be an extreme huge loss of unique and multifaceted characters as well as potential for the overall history, and also I think hard to pull of. I personally wouldn’t worry that much because yes Jaime could get killed off but if GRRM decided to do that it will make sense. The thing that made me so fucking depressed over Jaimes death is first and foremost the way he left Brienne which book!Jaime would  simply not do and even  for show Jaime it was soooo fucking out of character that I refuse to believe D&D even watched the other three episodes of Season 8. Like I just refuse to believe that GRRM would even write something like 8x4. Jaime’s death would make me sad because rarely I think you really need to kill a character to tell a good story but at least I know that book!Jaime is going out with a bang not a brick. Also there are not a lot of signs (if any ??) pointing toward Jaime’s death, most signs and prophecies can be interpreted in tons of different ways. Nothing is certain.

If it were upto me he would die in the Epilogue as an old man in the arms of Brienne surrouned by their kids and grandkids. In peace.

So if I were you I would stay out of the theory rabbithole as much as possible. I didn’t join the Jaime Lannister is Alive Clown Club for nothing. Just snuggle up with some snacks and the fluffiest and/or smuttiest Braime fic and have a good time.

Always remember Jaime and Brienne are chilling in the meadows of Tarth, having told the rest of the realm to kindly fuck off unless they are absolutely certain that it will be necessary to call Jaime “ Oathkeeper” of Tarth and a very pregnant Ser Brienne of Tarth to fight whatever creature from the Seven Hells was unleashed onto Westeros now. The only visitors allowed are the Stark Kids. Somewhere in the background Pod is somehow getting chased by a giant dog that stole his sword. The End.

[pianoperson]

Get to know me (if you want)

No one asked for this. Questions are from @chvmpagne-and-gasoline so if you wanna answer them, feel free to.

1. 6 of the songs you listen to the most?

La Campanella by Liszt, Humoresque by Dvorak, Rolling Girl by wowaka, Servant of Evil by mothy (?), Circles by Kira (?), Comptine D’un Autre Été (yes I don’t give a damn about pop culture)

2. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Brett and Eddy from TwoSet

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“1997—X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter” from Armada by Ernest Cline

4. Who do you think about most?

My real life friends because they’re great, and IkeRev guys (especially Jonah)

5. What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Asking them where they are

6. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With. How do people sleep without clothes?

7. What’s your strangest talent?

Having random thoughts enter my mind that actually predict the future (but I never really tell anyone so)

8: Girls are cool; Boys are cool. (everyone is cool period)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Nope, well at least I don’t think so. But I did write a poem about someone (it was never meant to be a roast poem, just a poem that was meant to be an outlet for my sadness, but it was accidentally written in such a way that it can be interpreted as one)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Bold of you to assume I ever played guitar. The closest was ukelele but that was for school.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

No

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

No, unless your finger counts (hey, it gets bothersome sometimes to feel something within your nostril)

13: What’s your religion?

Roman Catholic

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Either I’m going out to eat or exercising

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind, but I always end up in front of it

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

I don’t have a favorite band.

17: What was the last lie you told?

It was probs a yes to a question I no longer remember.

18: Do you believe in karma?

I joke about it, but honestly, no.

19: What does your URL mean?

I’m a person who likes piano. That’s it.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness is being too cautious to the point I get tense due to fear of failure. My greatest strength is probably scrape by school with grades 90 and above without putting in my best.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Bold of you to assume I even have one.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope, never

23: How do you vent your anger?

If I want to rant, I either rant alone or with people who think alike. But that’s with  really shallow stuff. If it’s really bad anger, I tend to keep it to myself because I feel like I’m gonna waste people’s time and my own energy.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

None

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Depends. But I’ll go with talking on the phone.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Nope. Not yet.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate Edgar Bright’s voice the sound of a spoon or fork accidentally scraping against the plate. I love the sound of pianos and flutes.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I screw up so badly that I’ll end up a failure, a loser, and a loner for the rest of my life and end up dying in pain alone?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts, no. Aliens, a bit.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

With my right, I touch air. With my left, I touch the TV screen,

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

If it smells like garbage, then automatically, it’s the worst place for me. And I’ve been to a number of places like that so I can’t specify.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast just because I’ve been there

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Does Jonah Clemence count? He sings lol But in all seriousness, none.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Life is like a Pokemon game. You’re not going to win all those battles, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give up. But if your life is Pokemon X and Y, you’re lucky.

36: Define Art.

Art is something universal yet personal.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes. Of course, you need to work hard, but you still have to hope that things go your way.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Pretty cool since it’s nighttime. Clear skies too.

39: What time is it?

10:07pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Nope. 

41: What was the last book you read?

Armada by Ernest Cline. It’s a great read, especially if you read Ready Player One by the same author.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes. Everyone around me finds it weird.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Yeah 

44: What was the last film you saw?

Infinity War

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

When I was grade one, I fell and hit my head. 

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Never had, never tried.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

IkeRev I guess

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Yep. Quite a bit.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Nope. But I wish I have.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Nope, because that’s a waste of time and energy. Also, I tend to forget they even did anything to me lol

52: What is your astrological sign?

Sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?

For school and food, spend. Otherwise, save.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Takeout from a restaurant because there was no food at home.

55: Love or lust?

Love

56: In a relationship?

Nope

57: How many relationships have you had?

Was single, has been single, always will be single

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I think I used to, but no.

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Nope

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Nope

62: What’s your favourite animal?

Idk. My dog I guess.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I don’t even try.

64: Where is your best friend?

At home

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@just-shower-thoughts​ @extramadness​ @laineclemence​ @theundyingskeleton​ @valkryie-nyte​

66: What is your heritage?

Filipino with a bit of Chinese and Spanish

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Answering some questions on Tumblr

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

He doesn’t have one.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Sorry, what does that even mean?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Considering I talk to myself a lot, yes.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Go to work. I don’t think I can save that dog.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Yes I will tell my family and friends that I will die. Yes I will be very afraid. I will go to confession as soon as possible and perhaps try to do some stuff before I die.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

The One That Got Away by Katy Perry just because nostalgia

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

My lips are sealed about that.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Being great friends grants a great relationship.

77: How can I win your heart?

You can’t.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

No, but it can make you do the things you want to do by removing all insecurities and inhibitions preventing you from doing those things.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Staying alive

80: What size shoes do you wear?

If we’re talking about closed shoes, size 5

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Never thought about it

82: What is your favourite word?

Right now, it’s Queen.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Jonah Clemence (ok how many times have I said his name in this post)

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“Lol”, “nice”, “I wanna die.”, or “Patayin mo na ako.”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Melt’s cover of Rolling Girl

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Blue and black

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A galaxy

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I don’t want to have that on my conscience and my record so nope.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Do I have a kink?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Clutch my blanket and stay still, trying to think of a way to get them out without inadvertently causing my death.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Psychic powers

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

That one time I touched a thermometer that wasn’t supposed to be touched in grade two. Everyone got mad at me for it. It took me three or four years to get over the shame from that incident.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

2016. What a time waster.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

That’s uncomfortable...

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Iceland just because it sounds great

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Never, which is great

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yep

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Jesus is the answer.