#idk if I want it to be their meeting but like im having so many ideas for romantic tension….sigh
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If i had a quarter for every villain that CANONICALLY ends up being friends with (or at least close to) Donut I'd have three quarters!!!
I'm rounding up to get a full dollar of "former villains get to be friends with Donut" with red team locus thank you for your time
#rvb#red vs blue#my art#batsy art#rvb lopez#rvb locus#rvb washington#rvb doc#rvb kimball#rvb simmons#rvb tucker#rvb grif#red team locus just fuckin writes itself both in the deep meta way and in the 'thisll be fuckin hilarious' way that rvb functions on#doc understands lopez curtesy of o'malley but wash doesnt so these 'meetings' are incredibly funny#i am counting s17 as wash's close to donut arc but also like#the time they spent with the feds counts to me#if grif n simmons gets to be friends with caboose and tucker with the rebels then wash gets to be friends with donut and sarge and lopez#the color blocking for kimball is weird to my brain but im just rollin with it bc idk how else to make it clear its her#like yea grif refers toher by name but i want it to be at a glance#'batsy u should pace ur self on these little comics or youll wear yourself out!' no. im creating and im making it everyone elses problem#i have so many more in my brain im just getting the silliest of them out now
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joel etho single dads au .........
#esp if we go w liml family#etho with scar and bdubs at the park#joel with hermes#their kids meet and become best friends and keep begging for five more minutes until theyre the last ones at the park#so joel and etho inevitably meet and start talking because theyre both hella bored waiting for their kids#and joel lowk kinda cannot stand etho#hes like “igh this guy is sooo pretentious i could sense it from a mile away. who does he think he is with that stupid white hair”#“newsflash it doesnt make you look cool it makes you look old as hell”#(but he doesnt say any of this)#(obviously)#and it works best if etho is totally oblivious#dude is just waiting 2 drop off scar n bdubs back home2 cleo so he can try2 get the Good Nights SleepTM hes been chasing since he was a bab#then they find out their kids go to the same school#and so obviously joel has decided to make it his mission in life to one up everything etho does#at this point etho is fully aware and finds it hilarious#because he is an Expert in these things okay. hes been making brownies for scar's bake sales since before hermes was Born#and joel can try as hard as he can but he just Cannot reach that level.#he can make as many cupcakes as he wants but none of them r gonna beat the gooey deliciousness of ethos chocolate chip triple layer brownie#and that is just soooo infuriating to him. his blood is boilimg at Every Single Parent Led Bake Sale Ever#and its even worse because etho looks like hes about to spontaneously combust at any possible second#his hair is a mess. deepppp eyebags. hes been running on maybe an hour of sleep every night for the past what eight years???#but hes sooo consistently perfect at everything.#joel hates him.#but like they also have to put up with each other at playdates and parties and whatnot because i repeat their kids are Best Friends#aughhh idk theres some potential there. i promise im just not getting it across very well#nya talks#trafficblr#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans
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if i think about gyatso for too long i WILL start crying
#him and roku. fuck.#THEY WERE BOYS TOGETHER. THEIR FRIENDSHIP TRANSCENDED LIFETIMES.#well maybe not the concept of him specifically i love that silly fellow#but him and aang…. OUGH. they devastate me#if you couldn’t tell im chipping away at my gyatku fic and it doubles as both that and just an exploration of gyatso in general +#his father son relationship with aang. it’s got dimensions!!!!#and it’s like vignettes and im on a section between when aang runs away and before the comet comes and ouuuhghh i want to die#WHO DECIDED TO WRITE THIS <- guy who decided to write this#it’ll be good tho. ending is probably gonna be bittersweet bc the tone and vibe is like yayy sillies and SOZIN YOU FUCKING BITCH#and that applies to both gyatku AND aang!#….is now a bad time to mention i have more rozin fic ideas#well on the bright side i might have a good idea for a rokittuq (roku/makittuq) fic! i#idk if I want it to be their meeting but like im having so many ideas for romantic tension….sigh#avatar whoreku strikes again#me post
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God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it
in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean
in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it
Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow
#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think#im missing the people i never really knew#and im stuck echoing their words to myself#it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you#who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go#i dont know#it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself#how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable#only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years#and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!!#and i probably will forever to some extent!!#and it’s such an awful feeling#but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain#that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed#there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing#idk#idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes#and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes#god just ignore me
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dude im
i think this is the first time in... as long as i can remember that life's actually going well. like sometimes life just Goes By until something bad happens or whatever... but like, ive had a lot of pretty good days in the past month ish? ive gone to two really amazing local shows recently, plus some other concerts, im seeing my favorite band next week, i might be making merch for another one of my favorite bands.... and yeah ive had shitty days and i got sick but like.. i remember those days well so the inbetween is just, that.. the in between... god idk becoming more involved in my local scene has been so fucking surreal..
#like its hasnt been great weeks back to back but#ive had really great experiences? yk#so like... those mainly stick out to me bc of my memory issues#and like.. ugh#i dont even know it just feels like things might actually start getting#fun#ever since i went to my first incubus concert i like... knew i wanted to fucking go to as many as possible#and thags coming true!#ive found so many local bands i absolutely fucking love and theyve become what i regularly listen to#which makes that so much easier#and im hoping to eventually get my license because like... i need to start drivinnt#which will make traveling easier#if i do get to sell shirt i can make money#and stickers#and just#idk im actually excited for the future for the first time in so longm#like.. i know So many people like concerts#but just like#theyve genuinely given me a reason to live#i love seeing people at shows and i love taking photos and meeting the bands and just everything about it#i met a guy whos been to two shows i have and i got his insta n like#that shows that like hey maybe i can find a group of people to go with yk?#even if its not him or whatever#i still want to try and make a movie one day but i really am considering working for bands and shit cause like#i dont want to be rich i wanna live w a couple people and travel and actually Live#as long as i can pay the bills and get gas im okay#i mean fuck im even willing to stick around my home town longer if it means that i get to do that shit yk?#idk im rambling but whatever#just like#fuck im so thankful to have found a place i genuinely enjoy and most of the time can express that pretty easily
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what they dont tell you about being incredibly introspective is that you'll think you're done making realizations and then you'll just make more realizations always all the time forever
#dude. guess who just found out the reason he's incapable of imagining himself in a good relationship#is bc he's never witnessed any growing up.#my parents dont have a relationship i would want#only one of my siblings is married and her husband sucks. other has never dated while ive been alive (im much younger)#+ my other sibling had. a strange relationship i wont mention details of but this was also like 5 yrs ago and he hasnt dated since#i have very few close friends and none of them dated as we grew up either#or even with some its like. i wldnt want your relationship lol...#the only Good relationships i see are online from ppl i follow. and then i cant trust em bc we only see the Good Parts#so like. do they even exist... i dont think so....#if i wasnt starved for physical touch id consider throwing in the towel permanently#but idk maybe ill buy one of those pillows with the arms that wrap around you#and a few more **** and try and cope with it in kenland or al's farm forever#talkys#im still 100% serious about ppl who have good relationships being lucky bc i feel like#the chances of finding someone you mesh with and are attracted to and can communicate with. are so slim.#i can barely ever find someone meeting one of many requirements. i can barely make friends. etc
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i love everyone so much but i do not know how to be a friend :(
#i am typically quite well received and i meet many people who express clearly to me their desire to know me and have me in their life#but i just can’t figure it out. and most of the time i try it feels like i am gaslighting myself into enjoying it. i know it sounds awful.#and i crave connection and community like anyone else. but it’s just so hard and uncomfortable and there’s too much i don’t understand.#i still have hope that i can figure out someway to be a friend that feels good.#i just feel so behind where maybe i could be if my autism had been noticed in my childhood. not that there’s any point in what ifs.#my heart just hurts today. and that’s alright.#really i just want a significant other and a band and of course my family and interactions with strangers and i think id be set. idk.#im just rambling and cooped up sick. don’t mind me.
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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started hanging with my local communist branch (:
#im so. not well read. i feel so behind in so many ways because i spent years being so depressed/suicidal/delusional so didnt really try to#learn anything or do anything. and now i'm in uni and my energy levels are quite low and most of my time is spent trying to deal with that#stuff. but i'm only taking 1 instead of 2 courses this sems#semester* so hopefully i'll have time to engage. i want friends so bad and i hardly meet ppl who share my values.#so like yknow idk what form of communism i think is best or whatever but i figure diving in will make it easier to learn things and get me#to read more they do reading groups and stuff#its so intimidating but i had fun last night at the post meeting hang out
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throwing this out into the void here mostly just to test how i feel abt seeing it in words, but im starting to think the 100% aroace label is perhaps not serving me quite the way i want it to and maybe harper's Unlabeled Swag (As A Freak With Proximity To The Acespec) was me projecting just tiny bit
#personal bullshit#recent revelations have alerted me to the fact that there are some people i want#i just want them in ways that are Complicated#and in many cases would require a paramedic on standby#but also idk if like formally establishing this would actually make my life any easier#or more effectively communicate what people actually need to know about me#bc to the overwhelming majority of people i meet i might as well be aroace as far as theyre concerned#and the problem with labeling yourself as Unlabeled is that then people just assume that youre bi but a coward about it#which is even more untrue than the assumptions people make about me when i say im aroace#so like idfk man theres no winning here i dont think#or who knows maybe ive just lost the plot bc i havent slept in like 30 hours#so im having untrustworthy 3am thoughts at 1:42 in the afternoon
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Sylus saying "...don't run" to MC when they're finally being openly honest about their desire for one another and their trust and shared spaces.
#their stupid connection was made in a lab to torment me I can't BELIEVE I want to write fic for them#the fact that her desires are essentially laid bare for him but that he still verifies#that he knows her SO well... her tendency for avoidance that both hinders and benefits their situation#her own underlying possessiveness of Sylus and need to be his equal. on his side.#Sylus trying to be patient and playing whatever role she needs until she's ready to accept that place. accept their mutual connection#MC seeing no other option but to embed herself in his life and his problems even though he's a risk to her career and life in Linkon#the fact that she meets him after she loses the people she considered a family... when their background brings up the concept of Home#I actually love when MC is petty and jealous and Sylus just accepts it and finds it insanely charming like.#the way he obviously Sees her pain and anger and need to protect him over seeing his old scars. angry that he or another didnt properly care#and then with knowledge from their myth origin its like...#the idea that theyre essentially mirrors containing eachother in equal capacity. the allusions to the threshold of light and shadow#the whole aspect of freedom from restraint and captivity. the mirror of her past being raised as a weapon and his nature. l#the little dragon statue she coveted and kept as a secret confidant...#and then like their shared capacity for indulgence. Sylus preparing all that food for her even when he was willing playing her villain.#his tendency to replicate his memories of the past to stir her own#im so obsessed and its been a week. help.#he always gives her space to retreat. and in the newest content now he's revealing his own desperation. dont run this time#dont retreat into yourself or into your role as a hunter or a lawful citizen#I just love that he also adores everything about her even her darker aspects that echo in himself#and the whole who will ''win'' in the end. will she make him more human or will they both embrace their predatory nature in the Fiend#them being the lovers and the devil simultaneously. sylus as death and mc as temperance. idk idk im insane rn#i literally made a sideblog for these posts apologies all 😂#personal tag#they have so many callbacks its crazy. the stupid territory thing is so cute like he'll play into anything for her and just be delighted#i need more main story so bad like. Sylus talks to MCs boss in one of the memories or something.#what the fuck is he doing there?? one assumes he's covering their asses and cooperating in some manner so that MCs career isnt at risk#since he knows she loves hunting#and with the whole mutual enemy in Ever... lets not forget that also Sylus might be the head of a crime syndicate or whatever but what#i just need to know when he became aware of MC in her current life.#I have no one to talk about this game to can you tell
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I'm bored at work so I'm seeing if I should report my old company for violating labor standards.
#totes bro#im so close but it is so obvious it would be me because i used to complain about this all the time#they dont inform their immigrant workers of their rights and so they dont like understand how their timecard works#and thr company advises them to take the least expensive insurance policy because they 'are healthy and don't need it'#but i know one couple wants fertility treatments but couldnt afford it because of that#they dont have the required posters#they also knowingly continue osha violations which i held a meeting over and was told this doesnt apply to us#which uhm it says it does on the Web site so i disagree#all of this is like why i left and what caused me to leave#and literally lying to me and another guy that we would get promotions for the work we did#and then they hired someone else to do the job making our promotions unnecessary and they were like hmmmm sorry#idk they like got a ton worse and i think the president got more reactionary which caused this#not sure how many of these count but thats not for me to decide anyway#oh and cleanliness standards but i actually fixed a lot of those..... fulfilling the role that promotion role that was promised#my coworkers here are like 'absolutely report the hell out of that place' because we do code violations lol#every time i say something they go 'that could be a violation :)'#they paid someone on a salary basis when they were under the salary pay and therefore should have gotten overtime
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me vs backtracking on the idea of m&g tickets every 5 minutes
#idk why I just keep wigging out#like don’t get me wrong I literally wrote out exactly how it would go and imagined it in my head#what our selfie would look like#telling them how much they mean to me#i have so many reasons why as a longtime fan I would want to meet them#but at the same time#im just so nervous about it#i have imposter syndrome like do I really deserve to be in a small group of people meeting them#i kinda want to blend into the crowd and just enjoy the show in peace#the idea of being so close to the stage is lowkey off putting#pls excuse my 1am rambling in the tags im going insane#and still don’t have the funds in my account for any kind of ticket#dnp#tour
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Worst part of stanning gotta be the stans
#like i cant watch fan interactions#and i only have ever paid for one (1) meet and greet and it was awful and i wish i hadnt done it#like so many fans and just regular people say the most out of pocket shit to these actors#and ruin it forever#so by the time you actually meet your little meow meow or whoever the fuck#they dont give two shits about you#just the whole fan-celebrity dynamics irl gives me the ick so bad#like no they dont care!! of course they dont care hes been up for 2947 hours and youre a literal stranger getting in their face with a camer#and saying some stupid shit about whatever movie they did 8 years ago that they dont remember the lines for#like#idk#its a waste of money and its gonna disappoint you no matter what bc you built them up in your head so much#meet and greets i mean#the only celebrity ive ever met that was a genuine delight#was dan avidan and he was at my hometown airport and he was utterly delighted tjat i recognized him#because hes not super duper wowza yowza famous.#but like...#if i ever saw Sebastian Stan on the street?#girl id turn around and walk the other way im so serious i never want to meet that man
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The amount of talking and negotiating I'm doing with this landlord is giving Andrew Garfield as Jonathan Larson talking to the electric company. Y'know?
#im in hell. this is my personal hell#i havent been at my current job for at least six months but i was at my last one for over six months#which should meet the requirement#she said i need a job in the city i want to move to to be accepted#maam its hard to have a job in a city i cant live in yet#so i asked if i was accepted to a job that met income requirements would that count even if i havent started yet#she didnt answer. now shes asking for dates for my last job#ive rented from this company before! ive met this woman before!!#i was never late on rent. never needed any maintenance. left my apartment in good condition#that should speak for itself#maybe im crazy. maybe im the one in the wrong here#but i dont think i am! i think landlords are a little full of themselves#this apartment doesnt have a bathroom in unit. you have to walk across the hall to use your bathroom#i think that should be a bigger concern than how many months ive been at my job#im just saying maybe no bathroom in unit is a bit of a hard sell#you eant a cosigner? ill get a cosigner. ill get a job in the city before ive moved to the city. ill jump through your fucking hoops#because i have no other option#idk maybe i should become like dexter#but just for killing landlords. cuz im getting a little sick of their attitude
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