#its a waste of money and its gonna disappoint you no matter what bc you built them up in your head so much

[themightywhoosh]

Worst part of stanning gotta be the stans

[badwithten]

camping with skz hyung line - delulu head cannons

PAIRING SKZ hyung line (Bangchan, Lee Know, Changbin & Hyunjin) x fem!reader

GENRE fluff

WORD COUNT 1.6k

this is very self indulgent but it is 11pm on my 18th birthday when i’m writing this and my mother is sleeping and we are in the middle of no where camping/staying in some cabins with no power or reception so i’m writing this on notes app bc i can’t sleep early so i am just up and i want to be delusional and go camping with skz (changbin but lets give them all a chance ig 🙄) 

in saying that its self indulgent its more of a warning that i’m writing this reader based on me! usually i don’t do this and try to keep everything as neutral as i can (ik i still only write fem!reader but still i try make it as inclusive fem as i can be!)  but for this y/n is def based on how i am camping which happens to be kinda stereotypical girl “omg im scared of bug come save me” which i know isn’t true for all fem people but it is for me and its my birthday so let me be delusional! 

with that in mind, if you still decide to read these i hope you enjoy! might expand onto the maknae line if this is something that is received well? i’ve never really written headcanons so we’ll see!

also also, i know since lee knows camping vlogs theres be a lot of camping with skz stuff but once again, idc bc i am camping now so this is what i want lmao

chan 

chan is definitely the ‘i am prepared, I’ve got you babe’ which quickly turns into ‘omg this fire isn’t staying lit and its cold af right now”

like he comes well prepared, buying and packing the best gear money can get

but no matter how fancy the tent, it is no use if you can’t put it up!

using the limited knowledge the two of you have, you manage to wrangle the tent up just before dark

although this wasted all of the time you had to do any hiking or adventuring for the day. you can’t say you’re to mad to skip to the cuddling

once again, he purchased a whole lot of fire starters and fancy lighters, but the two of you still struggled to get a stable fire going

eventually though, you’re both warm and feed by the fire

he bought his guitar and plays your favourite songs for you

you’re lucky that you’re out on such a clear night, able to watch the stars and listen to your partner sing for you

after a long day of getting lost in the endless pages instruction pamphlets, its finally time  to call it a night

chan thought it would be cute to get matching animal sleeping bags

he got a wolf and when he asked which one you were gonna get you chose a regular adult one

he was disappointed in your lack of humour but now he regrets not doing the same

the child size sleeping bag not even fighting one of his legs

“room in there for two?” how could you say no

lots of cuddles and late night talks, its the first time its truely just been the two of you for a long time

no sounds of the city, no loud neighbours and none of the kids disturbing the peace!

when you wake up though its a sweaty mess, tents get so hot in the sun and waking up to a warm body pressed against you is the last thing you want!

minho

ok this one is a bit hard to be crazy for bc we’ve seen him camping

but that doesn’t make it any less,,, writeable? 

if we saw a chart of “thinks their prepared, is not prepared vs thinks their prepared, is prepared” where do you think chan and minho would sit??

the camp site we’ve seen in his vlog and then his bubble messages is his little get away when his life gets too crazy

its just him and nature (plus some cats. that man is a legit cat magnet and i am so jealous!)

he doesn’t even want to bring any of the members or his friends there

its his place, all he has to worry about is himself

and its not even a worry! he enjoys cooking so feeding himself is a simple task,,, and thats all he’s sorta required to do there

but not long after he started dating you, he realised he wanted to experience the peace of his camping with you

if he was stressed and couldn’t get away, he would turn to you. both of his stress relievers in one place would be a dream come true! (that sounds sexual, i promise i didn’t mean it like that 😭*turns 18 and writes smut right away*) 

despite being there bc he’s currently stressed to the max, he can’t help but care for you still

he cooks the most delicious meals for you

lets you shower first and for as long as you want, not minding the cold water for himself if you use up the supply of the hot

and then when you’re out, makes sure you’re comfortable and warm in bed to ensure you don’t get sick on him

but its not all him caring for you! he knows this as well, loving the way you look out for him

yes he does all the cooking but you’re right by his side, helping to prepare any food he needs to create his dishes

he knows how long you shower for at home so he knows you’re conscious of him by only taking short showers despite how much he insists he doesn’t mind the cold

you’ll wait up for him while he showers, sometimes stealing his side of the bed to make sure its warm when he gets back

you even made sure to pack cat treats incase he attracted anymore strays

needless to say, camping with lee know is a break from your busy lives where you can look after each other

recharge together before heading back to work

changbin 

the man of the hour! why im writing this for hehe (he’s my boyfriend and you can’t change my mind on that idc)

biggest baby!

i’ve been having to boil hot water for drinks over a gas stove

and can you imagine doing that for him while he holds the light and just makes commentary the entire time

like i imagine it going how that one vlog went with his sister where she’s cooking for him and he’s standing there pretending to help but really is being more of a nuisance than anything

but you love him for it

you’re setting up the gas tanks and dealing with fire, he can’t help but just be impressed

not only can you hold your own, but you look after him!

he always is expected to be the caretaker in relationships, being a big strong guy and all, surely he wears the pants in the relationship

but both of you have one leg each in these pants, both of you struggling to walk in the pants. its like a three legged race but worse bc now there’s 4 legs, all out of sync (in the best way possible)

you will make him hot chocolates and deal with the gas stove top

you’ll rub his head in the spa while the two of you soak in the hot water

but he’ll carry you across the river when you two go exploring, not wanting you to get your shoes wet

he’ll make sure to watch out for any mosquitos in the area, swatting them away before they get to you

hes a bit like minho, both of you looking out for each other but a lot less prepared to do so in a campsite 

“yo binnie you know how to set this thing up?”

“y/n i’ve even seen one of these before today” he says as he swings around a tent pole and almost takes you out with it

but its ok bc both of you end up getting the tent up after a long while

he’s just a big baby and i want to give him a hug and make him a hot chocolate ok! it’s all i’ve been thinking about

you two wouldn’t be able to sleep so early into the night so you sneak out to go make hot chocolate’s and sit around the dying flame of the fire pit

its like your teenagers sneaking out despite having paid your bill to stay at the camp ground, knowing you can come and go out of your tent as you please

but that excitement is always something you’ve felt throughout your relationship with changbin and you can’t see it ever leaving

hyunjin

mr dramatic over here would be so distraught at the sight of any bug in the area

and news flash you’re outside in forest, there’s gonna be bugs

all jokes aside though, camping with hyunjin would be such a freeing experience!

he’d definitely use this time to unwind and really get into his painting, with no distractions he’s able to get the creative flow going and create some beautiful works of either you or the landscape around him

and if you’re a writer reading this, then you can do what i’m doing right now and take your boredom in the fact that there’s no power and write as well!

or really if you create anything (art, writing, knitting, any creative outlet!), you’d be right by him doing the same

you’d also do lots of exploring with him!

you’d set of on the hike only to stop every five minutes to look at something

if its somewhere you’ve been before or the two of you are camping somewhere you are knowledgeable about (like camping near your home town or something) then he’d ask lots of questions about the wildlife and plants around you!

but if its new for both of you then it would be so fun discovering everything together

i just imagine sitting by the river bank with him, watching as small fish and other strange water creatures swim through the rock pools

pointing to each and every little movement to make a comment about it

“yo that fish kinda looks like you though”

the comments soon lead to a water fight which ends in the two of you swimming

unlike any ocean or pool the two of you have swam in before, the current drags you down the river

you allow yourself to float for a bit before you’ll both swim back up to where you started

just chatting and relaxing against the river and all its sounds

eventually though one of you remembers all the fish/insects/creatures you saw swimming in there just moments ago and freaks out thinking about it swimming against your skin

so you retreat back to shore, having to hike back to your campsite soaking wet and cold

lots of cuddles to warm up in the tent though

both of you so exhausted you just crash

but it was such a good experience with him. like the two of you are so comfortable with each other that being in by yourselves camping in the woods is such a amazing time 

(but both can’t wait to get back home and enjoy the comfort of your own bed again)

[lizparkcr]

ok so im trying to avoid having emotions about the shitshow that is the local elections so i dont yknow breakdown and ive been meaning to make a post for ages abt muriel’s route i have so many thoughts. obvious spoilers ahead not that i have more than like 2 followers who play arcana game

firstly....i was kinda underwhelmed with the second half/ending of his route. disclaimer i haven’t replayed it and haven’t got the reversed ending, only upright, and my memory sucks and i played it a while ago. SO, things that I....don’t understand:

1. SUCH a massive deal is made out of muriel (and MC) having to learn to fight, the plot literally hinges on it, only for it to swing off the plot all together into oblivion and for the final showdown to be....a series of literal games.* And I wouldn’t disagree with this as an ending tbh!!!! I think it’s fucking great actually -- a non-violent resolution to further signify Muriel’s journey from violence and isolation to peace and fun and family, and tbh sort of a massive fuck you to lucio; LITERALLY RETURNING to the coliseum only to BEAT Lucio WITHOUT returning to the violence that lucio forced on him, turning it into a place of actual joy. Like fuck!!  BUT with the whole first part it just doesn’t fucking fit lmao? Muriel could have faced his demons in the beginning without learning to fight at all, he still could have had that journey. Morga could have just traveled with them right? Or even better he could have refused to fight and then the ending would have been even better. We could have had a moment of Morga acknowledging their strength??? Acknowledging their non-violent victory WITH PRIDE??? Bringing her to reflect on her choices as a mother and a leader??? Devs why couldn’t we have had that :(  I may be remembering wrong but the apparent necessity of Morga teaching them to fight is the biggest source of tension for at least a book. It’s the reason for his first kiss with the MC!  Also yeah speaking of tension with Morga 

2. SUCH a big deal is made out of morga becoming/reflecting as (?) a mother figure to muriel (which in itself is a very bold way to go story-wise)....only for her to be killed off. Again, I don’t disagree with this decision, I like her but story-wise it could fit. But I can’t help feel like it was really premature. This is something I feel all routes suffer from, and perhaps I am expecting too much from a game that can be played for free very easily, but every single route has pacing problems, none more than Muriel’s imo. Considering the maternal aspect of Morga (for both her and Muriel!) is sooooo fucking loaded and intense like, you cannot drop that and then kill her and not really mention her for the rest of the story. Her “ghost” made an appearance sometime later and a few sentences were said and that was it. Her and Muriel’s past was so brushed over  and idk clearly they didn’t have the time or money or whatever to develop it which is a real shame. Their journeys could have run parallel or gone in opposite directions literally anything but Morga dying in a moment of weakness from a cheap trick by lucio :/ bc YEAH like that was not actually weakness but certainly what morga considers weakness!!! that mistake could have split her away from muriel+MC entirely OR brought them closer together. she could have been disgusted with herself and decided once and for all to let go of lucio as a son and go her own way to destroy him, or she could have woken up to what she can do differently now and work with Muriel and co and let go of lucio that way. idk man it was just a waste

Right then....onto the romance. or. lack of :( this is completely subjective, I know some people were v happy with it but like, this could not have been a drier route and im so fucking sad about it. There were definitely some sweet moments, but that was sort of it for me. I get what they were going for, but it’s personally sad to me that Muriel’s contentedness seems to have come at the expense of sensual intimacy/tension. like there was just absolutely no spice whatsoever. I saw someone describe the MC relationship as basically platonic and...yeah. Very little intimacy that wasn’t like, cuddling or holding hands, which since there wasn’t much to build on anyway just came across as nice but unexciting. It felt like it became too easy and too normal too quickly?  Naturally touch was such a precious and important thing in the beginning as Muriel was learning to trust, but that just did not get explored imo. The first kiss wasn’t...the worst, but it was sort of OOC to me. They could have got so deep with that first kiss -- the opportunity, the trust, the choice. “Happy accident” scenarios can be great and definitely could have worked for his story, but for the first kiss i was like oh ok we’re here now?? and..muriel’s ok with that considering we were just uhh sobbing about his forced servitude and violence?? idk how i haven’t mentioned it yet but the way the tone was all over the fucking shop in that book gave me serious whiplash. Anyway  it’s so disappointing bc c’monnnnn this whole relationship is brand new to BOTH mc and muriel.  At the start every touch is a small turning point and i think they did that so well, you feel excited at the development and where it will go, but then it’s like “ok well we’re together now so everything is easy and breezy”. you can create emotional tension (the good kind) through touch EVEN if they’re both ace. which the MC is not bc its the self insert character so. yeah. i feel like im probably being a bit harsh in retrospect but this is what has stuck with me. 

This leads me to Muriel himself, and what to me was the biggest opportunity to do blow everyone’s minds bc he was SUCH a mystery before his route. Dark and brooding but shy and caring, anti-social through anxiety and fear but lonely, his reluctant but consistent support of Asra and his friends. And that was all teased in the beginning! ....and then completely fell flat. Similar to my first point: they had some deep emotional development going, Muriel literally coming face to face with the past he never knew, and the past he wishes he could forget, learning to actually be around people, learning to trust people (and ngl i fucking loved the beginning stages with MC so much), and overcoming his anxiety and pessimism. He and MC literally travel together alone for weeks. WEEKS! And much of that is skipped by. We have big emotional scenes but not much in between. And then...and yknow im not sure where it changes...after khamgalai dies? (and dont get me started on that what the fuck was the point of THAT?) after MC goes to the arcane realms? I can’t remember but at some point it’s like...all tension is gone lmao. Including tension between MC and Muriel, and he becomes quite two dimensional. It was just rushed.  Vesuvia is in ruins, Nadia and co chased out of the palace, Lucio taking control etc but like...it doesn’t feel like it matters? Im really not saying that his route has to be all doom and gloom at all but don’t MAKE it doom and gloom and then do a 180 yknow? I remember Julian’s route in particular being so fucking tense, even though I knew I got the upright ending, that dinner scene was...phew. (and i do get that naturally the first 3 routes are bound to be a more exciting experience bc i was less familiar w the game etc but still, there was just 0 tension). 

im not even gonna talk about the MC’s past reveal bc i have issues with it in every route so whatever 

so yeah i love muriel and i still like the arcana but it’s writing and pacing is just so inconsistent and it makes me sad. I will continue to fanon Muriel’s route to death. 

*It’s occurred to me that the reversed ending may be more violent and actually fit with where the story seemed to be going in the start, but I stand by the opinion that it doesn’t matter because it still doesn’t make sense. I shouldn’t have to play the reverse ending to be like “oh ok that was the point of that” bc it should make sense and serve purpose in both endings, which i dont think it does.

[pinkykitten]

Dressed Up

Marvel 

Yon-Rogg x female! reader

Warning: curse words, reader being cringy 

Specifics: comedy, fluff, romance, pictures, one-shot, self-conscious reader, insecure reader, race neutral reader

People: yon-rogg, carol danvers

Words: 1,835

Requested: By anon Hello! It's the au anon here again lol. I wasn't aware of that so thanks for replying! <3. Then could you write one where reader likes Yon-rogg but isn't aware that he likes her too bc he's like a god (in her eyes) and there's no way someone like him would even notice smn like her. Thank you <3

Authors Note: again sorry i dont do au’s and sorry for taking a lifetime to write this. i feel like im always saying that but i mean it everytime. i am grateful for you guys being patient it means a lot and just thank you guys for still supporting my blog and reading my trash. so enjoy some sarcastic carol and a shopping spree nobody asked for. 

You stared from afar from your side of the training base. Your head leaning against your palms, daydreaming. Wishing. Just wishing he could take one glance your way. 

You all had just finished another lesson. Another lesson to which you stumbled a little at your teacher, Yon-Rogg, but only because he placed his hands on your waist to teach you a move. 

“Whats wrong little lady?” Vers stopped by, your best friend sitting beside you sweating. “You seem out of it today.”

“Its nothing, really.” As you said this your eyes made contact to Yon-Rogg bending down to pick up his towel. You bit your lip and did not blink once!

Vers hummed to herself, “oooooooooooooooh I see.”

“See what?”

“His as*! No I’m just playing with you. No I see that you like the man.”

You didn’t even try to fight. You shrugged and shook your head, “yeah Vers but think about it. This godly delicious creature of a man even looking at moi! I don’t think so...at all. He’s him and I’m,” you gulped and took a glance at yourself. “Well you get the picture.”

“Y/n don’t worry, the best thing about being in a relationship is being yourself. You have to be truthful.”

“I can’t Vers, I just can’t. I mean I want to be truthful but with him its just different.”

Vers took a hold of your hand, “no woman should have to disguise themselves to deserve love. You are beautiful enough, you are smart enough, you are enough.”

You chuckled, “thanks...my hero.”

Vers giggled and jokingly wiped non existent tears, “girl, I am flattered. Just keep the compliments going, we got time.”

“-But I need to do this another way.”

Vers mentally slapped herself on the face, “so what, all that pep talk went straight through one ear and entered out the other?”

“Yep, and I’m gonna need your help!”

Vers gave a face of disgust. “Oh shi* I don’t like the sound of that.”

You and Vers entered your room, tired, worn out from all the-

“I can’t believe you just dragged me to go on a shopping spree with you,” Vers whined as she dropped herself on your bed. 

You hauled all the bags on your table and slumped on your chair, “I can’t believe I wasted that much money.” You and Vers laughed hard. 

“Well I see that this is my leave so good luck in all your sexiness and yeah-”

Clutching onto her sleeve you gave her a death glare as you glanced up, “I am not done with you yet.”

“God okay woman. What else do you want me to do? Wipe your as*.”

“Haha very funny,” you sarcastically answered. “No I need help with my outfit.”

It felt like it took forever! Your makeup was glamorous, making you look like a model, no a goddess! You put on jewelry, keeping it simple but sexy. The hoop earrings dangled lightly atop your shoulders, just grazing the skin from time to time as they twirled from your movement. You added a blinged up choker, it wasn’t too tight but just enough to look almost attached to your skin. You slipped on your tight outfit and had some skin showing. Last but not least you applied some lip gloss on your lips. The shimmer making your lips irresistible. You put your heels on and called out to Vers, “okay I’m finished...close your eyes.”

You peeked and saw she was listening to orders, “good.” You jumped out and yelled, “ta-da!”

Vers opened her eyes and gasped, “oh my god! Y/n you look super hot! Yes, get it girl! You got this!”

You twirled around and looked at yourself in the mirror. 

You enjoyed what you saw in the reflection but you wondered if Yon-Rogg would like what he sees.

“So you like it?”

Vers hugged you and nodded, “I do, but I always like the real you more, but its nice for a change. And also who said it was bad for a woman to wear makeup? I mean men can get all hot and whatever from time to time, well then so can us girls!”

You smiled and thanked Vers walking out to go see Yon-Rogg. 

He was by himself in the cafeteria, writing and just focused. Seeing that there was no one there you felt nervous and was about to dart back to your room when your heels alarmed him and he called out to you.

“Hi there, sorry if you’re doing something, I can come back another time,” you bashfully looked away from him. He wasn’t saying a word and thats when you peered at his face, you could see he was speechless. His mouth was opened just a bit. 

“Sorry,” he apologized blushing a little. “Please if you would like to, you could sit here.” He pointed to the seat in front of him. You nodded and almost ran to the chair but kept your cool. 

Now Yon-Rogg got a really good look at you. “May I just say, you look exquisite this evening y/n.”

“Thank you, Commander.” 

“Please call me Yon-Rogg...I bet it sounds way better coming out of your lips.”

You laced your fingers together, feeling the aura heating up. The setting becoming a flirtatious one, “alright then, Yon-Rogg.”

He giggles and nods, “well, I was right.”

“So what are you writing?” You asked as you motioned your head to the paper that sat in front of him. 

“Its a summary of how everyone today did in their training. Things they need to work on, progression.”

You slumped in your chair out of frustration, “oh that is not good.”

“What?”

“Oh I was talking about me. I did kinda fail today.”

Yon-Rogg focuses on you instead of the paper and grabs your hands, “let me ask you something y/n, did you try today?”

You were quick with an answer, “of course Comman- I mean Yon-Rogg. Of course I tried, I always try.”

Yon-Rogg leaned back in his seat, “see there, thats all you can do. Try. Thats all that matters to me, when I look at you all I want to observe is that you are trying. And thats what I always see with you.”

“Well its all thanks to you, I mean if you hadn’t shown us what a incredible leader you are and encouraged me then we probably would be having a different conversation right now but you only teach me good qualities.”

Yon-Rogg gave a charming smile, “may I ask, why are you so dressed up today?”

You almost choked on air and gripped tightly the table. “Um I was just going for a walk.”

Yon-Rogg looks below the table and sees your high heels, “in those?”

You changed your composure quickly, knowing you sounded dumb. You tried to show more of your physique. Displaying your breasts and popping out your butt. You puffed your lips out more and nodded, “yeah these shoes help tone the legs real nice for you, you tough man.”

You were losing control of yourself. You were trying to flirt but it was not working, flirting was not in your DNA. Yon-Rogg gave a look of curious. 

Next, you tried to grab his pen and put it in your mouth but you dropped it and as you were picking it up you bumped your head against the table. 

“Are you alright?” Yon-Rogg asked very worried.

You touched your head and only winced lightly, “yeah I’m fine...baby.” You tried to bite his pen sexy but you ended up gnawing it leaving a dent. 

You were just done. You were embarrassing yourself and you could tell by Yon-Rogg’s face that he was weirded out as well.

“I’m sorry this was a mistake.” You tried to stand up quickly but wearing your heels made you trip and fall into Yon-Rogg’s arms. He was there to catch you. You held onto his biceps for support and looked up to be so close to his handsome face. 

“H-hi there,” you stuttered as you were so bashful at the moment.

“Tell me the truth y/n. Why did you dress up like this tonight?”

“Fine, I wanted to impress you. Well not only that, there is like a long list so you might be here for a while its just, I like you a lot Comm- gosh sorry I keep doing that I mean Yon-Rogg. I like you a lot but not as in a way of friends or like wow you are my leader I like you a lot even though yes thats true I just don’t like you as a friend, I mean I do but-” You took a huge breath and calmed your nerves. “Let me start over. I want to see if you would like to go on a date, that offer still stands but I knew you probably did not like the other me. The less glamorous me. I mean you have made such an impact on not just me but to all of Kree. How could someone like that date someone like me? I just wanted to be better for you, but I ruined it.” You looked down ashamed and disappointed with yourself. 

Yon-Rogg was silent but lifted your face with his forefinger and thumb. “None of those things you said about yourself is true. You did not have to do anything to prove your worth to me. Don’t get me wrong I love this look but I also love who you really are. You are more than what you think. I ask myself how could someone so beautiful, so daring, so amazing go out with a guy so serious and who keeps his emotions hidden. I tried to do that with you y/n, but you are truly something else. I can’t keep what I feel for you hidden anymore. I love you y/n. I truly mean that, and you don’t have to show me you are capable of great things I can already see it when I look at you.”

You crashed your lips against his and laced your fingers into his hair. “Thank you Yon-Rogg.”

“Never gets old.”

You two were about to walk side by side together as now a couple when he stopped you. “Before we move any further can we please get rid of these wretched shoes. I mean they are sexy on you but these guys are a bit rough.” 

You let go of the breath you were holding in, “oh my gosh yes please I thought you would never say that.” You took your shoes off and held them in your hand. 

“But I do like this on you,” Yon-Rogg said about your outfit, feeling over the material and tracing his hands on your butt. “Can you wear this more often please?”

You laughed as you walked hand in hand with him, “I don’t know, I have to think about it.”

“Oh you naughty girl, I see you like to play dirty. Fine two can play that game.”

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415, @dirbel, @marwantr, @divaanya, @wassupitschloe, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @woeisbutwoe, @pormacskaa

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[seacreek]

I don't want to write anything where irl friends would see (no one is gonna see this here anyway) but I need to get this out of me.

Liiiikeeeee

I was (am?) literally the most suicidal I've ever been in my life today (is today over if it's 2 am?) and not only can I tell that to NO ONE, but it's like God was fucking rubbing it my face all day. I actually laughed at one point bc I was driving behind someone thinking of whether I should try to do it at home or somewhere else when I noticed their license plate said KYS and then a mashup of my birthday numbers.

But like I've already been feeling this building bc I'm behind on bills and have no heat and it's gonna snow soon and it's the holidays which remind me that my family is all spread out and I don't really talk to my parents anymore and somedays I talk to no one at all but my cat and my life is going NOWHERE with no way to change that but to work myself even harder when I don't even feel like I have anything at all to give anymore.

And I already felt like calling out bc even though I chose to work Thanksgiving yesterday knowing I'd be the only one there, it was still depressing to know that normal people are with friends and family and I'm not. But I also didn't want to take up my neighbors/friends on their offers to join them bc I did that last year and got all the questions about what I was doing with my life and at the time I actually believed I'd be going back to school the next year but now I realize how I can't possibly afford that without accepting help from someone which would BE my neighbors bc my parents would not help and I can't pay for it alone. And I can't accept help from them bc I feel like I would just get overwhelmed and depressed and flunk out and waste their money anyway. And the other reason I couldn't go over there/can't is bc I already feel like such a burden to them. They do all this nice stuff for me all the time and I catch myself even EXPECTING it at times which is fucking disgusting. Even if I'm grateful and say thank you, it's not like they owe me anything just bc I have no one else to give it to me. So I need to stop accepting their help and gifts, but then I know they are judging me for that bc even though their really nice, they are also super judgmental and they really like me bc they think I have "potential", but if they knew that I'm actually just a natural born idiot and failure, they'd never want to talk to me in the first place. And also it's unhealthy probably how much I rely on their validation bc since I've known them since I was little, I'm almost using them as surrogate parents which is also fucked up bc they are not my parents, they have their own kids who actually have their lives together unlike me who is just like a pet project of theirs.

Soooo anyway I already had all this on my mind and more going into work today and when I get there, I look at the schedule and realize everyone called out but me!!!!

And so I had to make a frankenstein schedule out of all of theirs to prioritize what needed to get done and was still trying to do little favors for people in between that I didn't want to disappoint bc it wasn't their fault that their staff wasn't there to do it with them and it was getting super overwhelming. And then I'm super sensitive so when I'd have to tell someone that I COULDN'T do something extra for them that they really were looking forward to, it was already punching me in the gut to see their disappointment. But then the worst part is that they don't fully get that I'm not just choosing to do that out of spite, but I legitimately had negative amounts of time to get everything done so they would blame me for what I couldn't do for them. EVEN THOUGH I WAS WORKING LIKE 4 SCHEDULES IN 1. Like they don't have the capacity to think past what's in front of them sometimes which I understand it's not their fault, but it SUCKS bc then they are pissed at me even though I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to do everything for everyone and keep them all happy and they should really be annoyed with my coworkers who didn't come in but I didn't even throw them under the bus bc it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I'm the person in front of them who is "refusing to do what they ask" so it's my fault.

So that's how my day is going everywhere I go as I rush from person to person and place to place, answering calls, improvising on the spot, and constantly having to tell someone that whatever they had planned on today isn't possible and dealing with the result of that. And the WHOLE TIME I am DAYDREAMING about how I'm gonna kill myself when I get home. Maybe slit my wrists, wait no my leg because I know I'll chicken out on the wrists, wait no, I'll drive out to the ocean and just swim out until I'm drowning too far out to save myself, wait no, what bridges could I jump from let me google that, wait no, I could take all of the pills at home together but then I might throw them up so wait no, maybe I'll drag this out and just not eat or drink til I just die nah that takes too long etc etc etc. And I'm really thinking this is gonna happen tonight bc I already wrote a letter monday or tuesday and I'm sure they'll find that pretty fast when they look in my journals so I don't even have to worry about that part, just the doing. So I'm contemplating my end of life and getting more anxious and sad with every hour passing bc I'm really thinking this is it, this is the day I'm out. But really I keep getting caught up bc my CAT who is sadly the one being on earth that I love who could never understand, is at home. And I'm thinking about how if I kill myself while she's there and it takes time for people to realize I'm missing/find me, she will be sad/hungry/thirsty in the meantime. Which is so unecessary and all of my suicide plans get scrapped if they involve direct trauma of another being and she's the one that means the most, so how could I be so selfish as to not make a plan for her?

So I'm thinking of how I have to sneak her to my sister's place while she's still at work and that's stressful enough but more so bc then I'll have a time limit on getting this done bc as soon as she comes home and sees kaiya there without me and no explanation, she'll start blowing up my phone and when I don't answer, she'll call someone. And I don't want to do that in a pressured state, I need time to process everything and think about life and what I'm doing. Plus, what if I decide not to??? (Which is what ended up happening for tonight anyway) I would've done all that for nothing and then had to confess when she found kaiya anyway and have to go to a psych ward or something which would just ruin my life faster but make it harder to get out.

So I'm thinking ALL this ALL day while working my ass off yet still disappointing everyone and swallowing tears that would turn into sobs every hour until it's time to go home.

Then I drive home and even though I pray to God to send me some sign that he cares, he doesn't.

At this point, I've already lost the fire under me so I know this is another night where I just get through it, cuddle kaiya, and wake up the next day to do it all over and I've accepted that in a way.

Then 1 am rolls around and my sister calls me to say she stopped by a party where she ran into my old best friend and friends from high school. None of whom cared enough about me to even ask what I was up to these days, even though they were talking to my SISTER. And that whole growing apart thing took such a toll on me mentally and I do feel like I'm over it now these days, but it still brought up these gross sad feelings of when I was first realizing that they didn't really care about me anymore and then fully understanding that I didn't matter to them. Which hurt SO MUCH bc they were a ride or die for me, like I would have done anything for them and I never even DOUBTED they didn't feel the same until it was so obvious I had to stop pretending around it. And that fucked with ALL of my relationships with people. Every single friend I had, I started pulling away from bc I was so insecure in myself that I felt like I had to get away from them before they had the chance to drop me which I now felt was inevitable. To this day, I feel like I have a body count of of people that I desperately want to talk to, but don't let myself bc I feel like they don't deserve to have to put up with a person as shitty and worthless as me. And I do that in every possible relationship I have, platonic, romantic, and even familial. And I can't blame them for that bc they were just a normal person growing apart from someone I guess, but I think it triggered something laying dormant in me so badly that it was actually the catalyst for my inability to connect with other people in meaningful ways. I never meet a new person anymore with the belief that they will be in my life for more than a few years at most. Most people I expect to be gone within a week or two. My walls are up so high that it's actually selfish that I even talk to people at all bc I only end up hurting them when I pull away for seemingly no reason at all. And I'm too much of a coward to tell them that there's nothing wrong with them, I just can't get that close to people anymore. Like it actually makes me physically sick to think of carrying on normal relationships with people which is SO fucked. But then I turn into the villain bc I'm worried that they'll develop the same fear of people and I'll be the cause of it. Like I'm a vampire. But I isolate myself and then get to a certain point where I think "I'll try again!! And this time will be different!! I'll really have someone new in my life!" And then I am super friendly and doing my best to be good and making plans and whatever. But then I start getting that sick feeling again, like what if what if they just haven't realized how much I suck and how disappointing I am yet, they'll definitely realize it soon and I come up with some random specific reason why they'd actually hate me if they knew "THIS" about me and I start detaching myself and then flake on plans and then disappear. And then spend weeks worrying myself sick that I permanently damaged their trust in people!!! But then I get lonely again and the pattern starts again!! All traced back to this moment in time where it actually hit me that people's affection for you can disappear in the blink of an eye no matter how much you thought they cared about you. So clearly love is conditional and just that thought alone is enough to make me want to end it all!!

So yea, just a shit day with shit cherries and cream on top.

And now it's 3am and I have to wake up in 5 hrs to do this again.

And all of this is still something no one will know if or until it comes spilling out and then my life will either be changed forever or over.

But yea, drew that lion the other day.

[whyldkratts]

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

[dndfuckhouse]

a warlock and a thief walk into bar

Summary: Psalm and Henrick have a third meeting by chance. And then a fourth. And then a fifth.

Notes: This is canon divergent(?) Yeah but also set after the current events. It's dialogue heavy bc I like dialogue and didnt feel like expanding sorry.EDIT: I’ve apparently grossly mischaracterised Han… Poki only leaves crumbs for me so I did what I could based on my knowledge of her from Psalm’s perspective. Wcyd?

Psalm should know by now that things never tend to go well when he's on a mission with the others. Han and Rokka were too nosy for their own good, something he still hadn't quite adjusted to yet but no longer got mad about. Well, except for right now. Right now is entirely their fault, and once he rids himself of the angry bandits on his tail he's going to make them wish they’d kept their mouths shut. With force if necessary. They just had to go and piss off an entire group of bandits.

The rational part of his mind tells him that there’s literally no way he could take either of the major brawn in their party in a fight one on one, let alone at the same time, but the thought of chewing them out helps to soothe his annoyance at least.

A dagger whizzes past his head. 

Stop daydreaming and focus, Ghester’s voice rings in his head, it'd be a waste for you to die here, and at the hands of some low tier goons no less.

“Is this your way of saying you'd miss me?” Psalm responds both in Infernal and his usual monotone. It's hard to sound deadpan in Infernal, which is mostly just a lot of hissing and growling, but he makes the effort. Of course Ghester responds with his usual dry laughter. No surprise there.

Psalm ducks around a random corner, not bothering to check if the bandits are behind him. He supposes part of this is his fault. He usually offered to divert the enemy so that the others could escape, but he bit off more than he could chew this time. He wasn't expecting his charm spell to wear off so quickly.

In a rare moment of good fortune, the alley isn’t a dead end. The goons are still behind him though, so he doesn't slow down. 

Eventually he comes across an alley with a small crevice between two houses, and wonders if it's a good idea to duck in there and hope they don’t notice. He hears them gaining though, and in a split second decision shoves himself into the nook and pulls his cape around his face for good measure. Red skin tends to stand out.

The goons run past the nook without even bothering to check, and he hears one of them yell “Where'd he go?” before the rest of them run off. Psalm waits for a couple minutes, and then a couple more just to be safe before he exits. It's a tight fit, especially with horns, but somehow he manages to squeeze himself out. 

“Oh, it's you again,” a voice says. 

Psalm reacts immediately. Ghester appears as a shortsword in his hand in seconds as Psalm turns and holds the weapon out in front of him. 

If he'd been thinking more clearly, he would've realised that the voice was somewhat familiar, but the adrenaline from the earlier chase was still rushing through him. It takes him a while to put it together in his head, not his fault, they’ve only met twice. Psalm blinks once, mostly in surprise and then breaks out into a genuine smile at the man in front of him. He can’t really help it. Not only is it not someone that had been trying to kill him earlier, but someone he's actually quite pleased to see. Henrick, looking just as scruffy and worn out as always, gives Psalm a small, sort of half assed smile. 

He eyes the shortsword wearily. “You gonna put that thing away or…?” 

“Oh, right. How rude of me,” Psalm says as Ghester disappears from his hand. Being able to summon Ghester at will is not something he reveals to people too often, the less ways to identify him the better, but he figures it doesn't matter right now. The action puts an even wearier look on Henrick's face though, which Psalm finds amusing. 

Henrick looks around a bit, for what, Psalm isn't exactly sure.

“Not to be cliché,” Psalm says while Henrick does this, “but we should really stop meeting like this.” 

Henrick pauses and gives Psalm a confused look. “Whaddya mean?” 

“You're with the group after me right now are you not?” 

A look of understanding dawns on Henrick's face.

“You're the one everyone's been chasing after? I couldn't really tell from a distance, but it's not like I can go against the boss's orders y'know so he had me out here searching too.” 

Rickert's goons again? What are the odds… Psalm thinks. Shorewater is clearly not as big as he'd once thought.

“You're still working for that tyrant? What was his name again? Ricken… Rackam?” Psalm pretends to think hard about it. 

“Rickert. You forget or something?” 

“Well Henrick, I must admit I don't make a habit of remembering the names of people I'm not interested in.” An obvious lie, but it serves its purpose when what Psalm has said dawns on Henrick and the man nervously fiddles with the neck of his scarf.

How fun, Psalm thinks.

You really seem to enjoy playing with people, but to what end? Ghester says in his mind. Psalm ignores him of course. He won't very well respond in front of Henrick right now anyways, and Ghester knows that.

“What'd you do this time?” Henrick asks, choosing to ignore Psalm's earlier comment. Psalm begins to answer, but is cut off by the sounds of shouting. The goons are coming back. Psalm curses himself internally for sticking around and making small talk instead of getting the hell out. Before he can look around for a means of escape, Henrick steps into his personal space. 

Psalm raises an eyebrow. “What are you doi-”

“Shhh,” Henrick hisses and backs Psalm right back up into the crevice where he'd hid before. Psalm gets the message, and tries to hide as much of himself as possible. He's taller than Henrick, but hopefully that won't matter too much as Henrick stands in front of the crevice and blocks Psalm from view. 

Sure enough, the men from earlier return. 

“Henrick! What’re you doin’ standin' around like an idiot for? He got away!” 

“If he got away there's no point in running around like this then is there?” Henrick sighed. 

“He got away cuz you were being a lazy shit I bet.” 

“Yeah? Who was the last guy that saw him before he ran off because it sure as hell wasn't me. Should I tell Rickert who lost sight of him?” 

Psalm watches as best he can as the two bandits argue back and forth about Rickert. As entertaining as it is, it's definitely too cramped in here and he wishes the goon would hurry up and leave. He considers just firing off an eldritch blast and ending things himself, but attacking Henrick's comrades was probably not in his best interest. 

Eventually Henrick chases the guy off, and after a couple more minutes Psalm is free yet again.

“Should be alright now,” Henrick says.

“Thank you,” Psalm says, “I'm afraid I’ve become the reason for your boss poking a fresh set of holes into you though.” 

Henrick shrugs. “You get used to it, and it’s not like it'd be the first time anyways. He was pretty mad that one time back in the market.” 

“Damn, and here I was thinking we'd been lowkey.” 

“Eh, he can sniff out money.” 

Psalm ponders that response for a minute but has no answer. Who is he to question one's choice of management? 

“I could always have a friend get rid of him for you, if you'd like.” 

The statement only serves to make Henrick more fidgety. It seemed that Henrick had at least some reservations about it, but Psalm supposed someone who'd been willing to help the enemy twice now could be expected to be a bit of a softy.

“I dunno…” 

“It'd be no trouble. She's been kinda eager to, let’s say “have a chat”, with him again.” 

Henrick shudders. “You mean the big one?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Yeah, hard pass. Who knows if she'll stop at just Rickert.” Psalm laughs. He knows Han would, but the fact that she's scarred some of Rickert's men is pretty funny. Speaking of, he'd best return to the group soon. His diversion had taken longer than he'd expected. He hopes the others have made it back to Vinny's shop by now.

“I'll give you some time to think about it, but in any case, I'd best be on my way.” 

“No gold this time?” Henrick jokes, and then not a moment later looks awash with regret at what he's just said. 

“My pockets aren't as deep as you might think,” Psalm says. At that, Henrick, quite unexpectedly, starts to blush.

“That was just a… can you forget I said that?” he says. 

“Hmm, maybe not,” Psalm smiles. 

“I honestly just, don't remember your name…” Henrick trails off. 

“That's disappointing,” Psalm says. He looks around the alley, and for good measure, checks around the corners too. The bandits are gone, thankfully, but maybe it'd be best to avoid using the alleys just incase they were still crawling around.

“You don't sound like you care much.” 

Psalm turns back to Henrick after his thorough search of the alley. “I thought that we had something special going on, but clearly I was wrong,” Psalm sighs.

Henrick looks confused. “Huh?” 

“But it's fine. I'll reintroduce myself next time.” 

“Next time?” 

“Well a good deed can't just go unpaid.” 

Henrick fidgets with his scarf. “I was kidding ‘bout the gold.” 

“Well, I wasn't. But really, let's save it for next time.” Psalm gives Henrick a perfunctory wave, he's not one for excessive good-byes, and heads off down the opposite way of the bandits. He doesn’t look back.

It's all very calculated for you isn't it? Is that how you usually make friends? Ghester pipes up once there's no one around. 

“Who said anything about making friends?” Psalm grumbles back in Infernal. 

X 

About two weeks later, Psalm finds himself again wandering the alleys of Shorewater. However, this time, it's both he and Plum that have been separated from the others. They'd split into three teams, Han and Keva, Rokka and Cimmorro and he and Plum. It was a simple fetch quest, nothing serious. To put it simply: one of Vinny's cats had gone missing again.

“If this leads us to another thieves’ den I'm going home,” Plum says, obviously irritated at the idea. Psalm is inclined to agree. 

“We could get Vinny to pay extra if that happens though,” Psalm points out, “try thinking a little on the bright side of things.” 

“Don't wanna hear that from Mr.Broods-a-lot,” Plum mumbles. 

“Haha, funny.” 

They head to the market square again, the only difference from the first time this had happened being that it's night time now. The market takes on a different feel at night, less lively but still busy enough to feel comfortable. Plum and Psalm go around questioning some of the vendors, one of whom mentions having seen the cat a bit earlier skulking around the fish stalls. Go figure. 

“You think Team Rokka/Cimmorro has found it yet?” Plum asks as they make their way over to that section of the market.

“One can only dream.” 

Sure enough, when they get there, the cat is nowhere to be seen. One of the fish vendors informs them that the cat had been there though, having made off with one of his fish earlier. 

“You gonna pay up?” the vendor asks, as if that were the logical conclusion to the situation.

Plum makes up their face. Psalm steps in before they decide to make things worse. 

“I apologise, but it's not our cat. When we find her we can inform our employer and he'll reimburse you. Please wait until then.” 

The vendor grumbles but agrees, and Psalm congratulates himself for avoiding that situation. The congratulations last for all of about one second before a man goes barrelling into the cart. 

Psalm and Plum jump back immediately. Thankfully, the vendor is unharmed, but his cart has definitely seen better days. Psalm looks up to see Han, because of course this has something to do with her, and a hooded figure in the middle of the square. There are people rushing about, some trying to get out of Han's line of fire, others carrying on like nothing had happened. It's hard to see exactly with all the people rushing about.

Psalm considers ignoring the situation and carrying on with his current mission, but the next thing he knows his feet are carrying him over towards the commotion. 

“Han, what are you doing.” It's not really a question.

“Stopping thief,” she says, as if she hadn't just hurled a man halfway across the square. “You expect me to stand by while this man and his friends steal from innocent people?”

Psalm presses his head into his hands.

“Right now I think you're doing more damage than the thief,” Plum says, having followed Psalm over to the middle of the square. They point in the direction of the fish vendor's cart. 

Han looks over, confused, and then winces. 

“Oops,” she says, and then, “Vinny can pay for it.” 

I’m so sorry Vinny, Psalm thinks.

It's then that Psalm notices the hooded figure that Han had been engaged with is trying to make an escape. Unfortunately for them, Han notices too, and before he can get away she reaches down and hoists him into the air by the back of his hood, revealing his face.

Of course it's Henrick. 

Psalm quashes down a small wave of panic. Of all the people Han could’ve possibly gotten her hands on. Psalm wishes she had found Rickert instead, because he didn’t care one way or another what happened to him. Before Psalm can say anything to salvage the situation though, Plum reacts faster, surprisingly. 

“You're that guy that was with Ricke-!” they start to say, but before they can finish Psalm gives them a swift kick to the leg. Plum turns and glares at him.

“What was that for?” 

“What was what for?” 

Han narrows her eyes at at the both of them. “You know this thief?” 

“I’m not a thief,” Henrick says, “or well, I didn't steal anything just now.” 

Han ignores him, eyes trained solely on Plum. Psalm considers that a small blessing for the moment. There’s no way Han isn’t going to recognise Henrick once she actually gets a good luck at his now unhooded face, Plum points at Psalm. “Not me. This guy. They had some kinda shady deal going on. It was kinda gross to witness.” 

Leave it to Plum to throw him under the bus in a moment like this honestly. Han already didn't trust him a good percentage of the time, and now this. It’s then that Han finally turns back to Henrick, and of course, recognises him instantly.

“You’re one of Rickert’s men?” she all but yells. 

Henrick raises his hands in defense. “Yeah, but not willingly,” he says. While this is happening, Psalm is not quite glaring at Plum, who is making a point of ignoring him. 

Psalm, annoyed, turns to Han instead. “Could you put him down? You're causing a scene.” Technically she's already caused one, but Henrick looks like he's about to pass out from fear while Han manhandles him, and Psalm can't really blame him. She did spear one of his friends. 

“Like this, I'm stopping him from running away. Why is Plum saying you know this man, Psalm? Are you working for Rickert?” 

Psalm tries to think of an answer that isn't suspicious. He’s currently drawing blanks as to ways to avoid making the situation worse. He quickly peers over at Henrick, who, despite being dangled several feet in the air like a doll, looks somewhat pleased. 

“I remember,” Psalm hears him say, “it's Psalm.” 

Now is really not the time for that Psalm thinks, but he can't help feeling a little endeared anyways. 

“We spared his life remember? And he just so happened to be there when we were gathering information underground during that whole fiasco with the ball,” Psalm says, “Did I not tell you? Whoops.” 

That was a mistake of course, riling Han up, but his excuse was that he was quickly losing his patience with the situation. That and he was just flat out starting to panic. 

Of course, once Han realises what Psalm said she glares even harder. “You're working for Rickert aren't you. You've been fooling us the entire time.” 

“I have not, in fact, been working for Rickert. He tried to kill me too remember? Now if you could just put my friend down and maybe not kill him, that'd be great. Wonderful even.” 

“I don't kill,” Han says. Out of the corner of his eye, Psalm sees Plum turn and look at the man currently lying unconscious on top of what used to be a fish stall. 

“Just put him down and let him explain himself already Han, seriously the guards might come at any time now and I'm sure you don't want to go to jail.” 

Han grumbles at that, but eventually let's Henrick down and the group of them exit the square into a small alley a little ways away. 

As soon as they get there Han slams Henrick up against the wall of the alley. “You will explain.” 

Psalm watches this unfold with a vague sort of empathy. I understand, he thinks, I've been there too.

Henrick looks to Psalm for help. Psalm shrugs. As much as he would like to, things are honestly out of his hands at this point. Still though, he does kind of owe Henrick so he might as well try. 

“I think you're scaring him.” 

“Good,” Han says. She turns to Psalm as well. “Don't think this means I trust you.”

“Wouldn't dream of it, but I don't think we're getting anywhere like this,” Psalm tries but Han ignores him. Psalm resists the urge to beat his head against the wall. Why is she so stubborn? 

Psalm turns to Plum, not that he's expecting them to be of any help. Of course he's right, Plum has already resumed searching for the cat in the alley they're in. 

“What did you steal?” Han asks. 

“I didn’t,” Henrick says, looking exasperated. 

“You're lying.” 

“I am not.” 

This kind of questioning could go on all night, Psalm realises, so he tries to step in again. He looks Henrick in the eyes. 

“Did you steal anything?” 

Han looks indignant. “I'm doing the questioning!”

“We’ll be here until dawn if you do the questioning. Just let me do it.” 

“But you're working for Rickert,” she shouts at him.

“I am not,” Psalm shouts back, “God, I can even help you find him later if you want to kill him so badly, but can you please just let me do this so we can finish up here?” 

He's not sure what about that placates her, possibly the offer to kick Rickert's ass down the line, but eventually Han eases up off the wall and crosses her arms instead. 

“Explain everything later or it's not just Rickert I will want to kill so badly.”

“Yes, yes, hurt me all you want later. Now, some silence please.” Han huffs.

Psalm sighs and turns back to Henrick. “Do me a favour and don't resist please.” 

Henrick looks confused, and then his eyes glaze over. He looks at Psalm, and a dopey smile forms on his face. 

Psalm turns to Han. “I've charmed him, are you happy now?” 

Han knows by now what a charmed person looks like, but she still seems a bit suspicious. 

“How do I know this isn't a trick?”

“What could I possibly gain from getting in the way of you and Rickert, who I don't give a rat's ass about, at the cost of possibly own life? This man's innocent Han, don't drag him into it.” 

Psalm doesn't actually know if he's innocent or not. Everything he's saying right now is a gamble. He hopes Henrick hadn't been lying earlier. 

Psalm turns back to Henrick.

“Did you steal anything at the market just now?” 

Henrick thinks for a couple seconds, and every single one of those seconds is a year shaved off of his life he thinks. 

“Nope,” he decides. Psalm breathes a sigh of relief. Hopefully, Henrick isn't the type to lie too much to his friends though, not that Han needs to know the details of a charm spell right now. Still, just to be on the safe side...

“You're not lying?” 

“No point lying to you. You're nice to me. Nicer than Rickert for sure, not that that's hard to do.”

Han raises an eyebrow. 

“I paid him ten gold for some information. Don't read into it.” 

“Yet I shouldn't be suspicious?” Han says. 

“It's more gross than suspicious I think,” Plum pipes up, having given up on the search for the cat at the moment. 

“No one asked,” Psalm says. 

“Ask him where Rickert is,” Han says. Psalm is not totally opposed to finding out this information if it means getting Han to trust that they're not affiliated. He does feel bad about getting the information out of Henrick this way though. It was yet another way Psalm would've gotten Rickert in trouble. 

Something to worry about later though, when he didn’t have his own reputation to clear.

“Henrick you wouldn't happen to know where Rickert is at this very moment would you?” 

“Nah, he left the city about a week ago on some mission. Said it was too important to tell the likes of me and the others. Dunno when he'll be back either.” 

Han just barely manages to contain her frustration at that answer. 

“Are we done here now?” Psalm asks. 

“Do you have a base? Somewhere you meet up?” Han pushes.

Henrick regards her curiously. “Not since you guys trashed our first one.”

“I think we're done here now,” Psalm says. He turns to Han. “What now? You want to play detective with me too? I assure you I have nothing to hide.” 

Regarding Rickert anyways, he thinks, but of course he leaves that unsaid. 

Han looks conflicted. “You never give me good reason to trust you.” 

Psalm clutches at his heart in mock hurt, but responds in his usual monotone regardless. “After everything we've been through together?” 

Plum interjects again. “Is he just gonna stay like that?” Han and Psalm pause and turn back to Henrick, who is currently staring off into space. 

“Regrettably, I don't know how to end the spell. It'll wear off after an hour,” Psalm says. 

“I don't want to watch this guy make googly eyes at Psalm for an hour,” Plum says, disgust clear as day on their face. 

“Plus we have cat to find,” Han says. Psalm stares at her. 

“You sure changed directions quickly.” 

Han shrugs. “I'll beat it out of you later.” 

“Yes well, if I'm not halfway across the continent by then.”

Now it's his turn to get pinned against the wall by Han. Somehow, he's surprised he didn't see this coming. He has a vague suspicion she just likes to flex on him where possible. 

“What was that?” Han says sweetly.

“I said ‘I can't wait’ of course,” Psalm says. 

“Good.” She gestures to Plum. “We should go find Keva. And the cat.” 

After the two exit the alley Psalm sinks to the floor and stretches his legs out in front of him. Henrick is still standing nearby, zoning out, so Psalm snaps at him to get his attention.

It's only been like what, fifteen minutes? Henricks eyes are still glazed over. 

“This back and forth of owing each other is bad for the soul I think,” Psalm says to him. Henrick just stares before joining Psalm on the floor. Psalm just sighs. 

I must say that was quite entertaining, Ghester says. 

“I’m not in the mood to talk to you.” 

That would imply that you are normally would it not? 

“Good point.” 

Psalm has no idea what to do while waiting for the spell to wear off, but he can't just leave the man charmed in a random alleyway at night either. Then all of his hard work would've been for nothing. 

He entertains the idea of getting some information out of Henrick while things are like this, but it feels a bit underhanded, and there isn't really anything in particular he wants to know anyways. 

“I'm starting to think this was a mistake.”

You're like a child. Are you really telling me you can't sit still for less than an hour? 

“I can't help it if I get bored.” 

Childish.

“Whatever, I'd rather chew threw my own tail than listen to you insult me.” 

You've no choice in the matter really. 

“And I'm the childish one?” 

“Who are you talking to?” Henrick asks from beside him. 

Psalm nearly jumps out of his skin. Henrick's eyes are back to normal. He'd forgotten that elves were more resistant to charms, especially full blooded ones. It hadn't been a full hour yet. The shock must've registered on his face, because Henrick starts to backtrack immediately. 

“Well I don't know if that was talking, actually. Not to be rude. Don't really get to hear Infernal all that often so, uh...nevermind.” 

Psalm stares at him in amusement. “I was merely practicing some spells is all,” he lies.

“Oh.”

Then silence. Psalm tries not to find it a bit awkward, which he usually doesn't, but fails. Henrick is apparently thinking the same thing, because he starts speaking again.

“Your friend’s kinda scary.” 

Psalm resists the urge to chuckle, because it's the truth when he's on the receiving end. 

“I won't deny that.” It's a short reply. From the way Henrick starts to fiddle with the handle of the dagger in his belt, Psalm assumes he'd been expecting him to carry more of the conversation. Unfortunately for him, Psalm is feeling a bit worn out, and maybe just a little bit too amused at watching Henrick squirm a bit. But he isn't a bully. Not really.

“I suppose if we’re going to continue this pattern that it's your turn to save me next,” Psalm says. 

Henrick laughs nervously. “I hope you're not asking me to get in the way of you and your friend.” 

“Are you saying I'm not worth the trouble?” 

Henrick pauses, caught off guard.

 “I-.” 

“That upsets me to hear,” Psalm says. He rests his head on his knees and looks up at Henrick. 

Henrick continues to scramble for an answer. “Ok, but-” 

“I mean it's ok if you don't feel that way, as I'm obviously just messing with you. Only a madman would get in Han's way.” 

Henrick lets out a frustrated noise, and leans his head back against the wall.

Psalm laughs. 

Henrick glares at him, albeit weakly. Psalm assumes that's as intense as someone who looks as worn out as him will get. 

“Is it fun for you to do that?” Henrick asks. 

Of course, Psalm thinks. “Do what?” he says. 

“I dunno, screw with me?” 

“Ah, not quite. I believe the word you're looking for is flirting, yes?” 

Henrick's eyes widen and he pointedly looks down at the floor. “That's not what I meant.” 

Psalm smiles. “But isn't it though?” 

“Is that why you kept that note? And the dagger?” 

That makes Psalm pause. It's not that weird a question, given that he'd asked about it last time as well, but he'd never thought hard about why.

Henrick notes the lack of response, but doesn't look up. “I'm just curious is all. Don't get any funny ideas.” 

“Bit late for that,” Psalm says, and to his endless amusement Henrick rolls his eyes. 

“If you want the truth though, I was just clearing the crime scene. And you left the dagger behind. Who am I to turn down a parting gift?” 

“That's all?” 

Psalm lifts his head and leans in slightly. Even while sitting he's still taller. “You were expecting something else?” 

Henrick leans away. “I was just curious,” he repeats.

“I believe you.” 

Henrick snorts. “No you don't.” 

“I've no reason to lie to you,” Psalm says, and it's sort of the truth. If there's one thing Henrick has more or less proved repeatedly, it's that he poses absolutely no threat whatsoever to Psalm. Weird how not wanting to kill him has endeared this man to him. Psalm wonders where the hell he went wrong in life for a brief moment.

Despite his (mostly) sincere answer, Henrick eyes him cautiously, obviously not believing him. Now Psalm's the one rolling his eyes. 

“If I told you I kept your note to prove you'd owe me later would that make more sense to you? Keep in mind I can't see the future, so there's no way I'd actually know whether I could cash in on that or not.” 

“It's just weird that you're so nice to me when my boss and I tried to kill you I guess? It's not weird for me to find this weird right?” 

“Oh? What's “this”? There's a “this”?” Psalm says. Henrick places his head in his hands and let's out a muffled yell. 

“You're really frustrating to talk to! D'yknow that?” 

“So I've been told.” He watches Henrick get to his feet, but doesn't bother moving himself. 

“Next time it's your turn to save me, alright?” Psalm says as Henrick turns to leave. 

“Yeah, yeah. Ugh, I should just leave you if that happens.” Despite this, Henrick turns and waves before leaving. Psalm waves back, and Henrick retreats out of view. 

Psalm sits for a couple more minutes in silence. He's not really sure what to do now honestly except return back to the inn. As he stands up, he hears a small meow from further down the alley. When he goes to investigate, he discovers Vinny's cat, huddled under a small fort of crates. 

Psalm scoops her into his arms. 

“Well aren't you cute?” he says to her.

More honest with animals than people are we?

“Are you going to do this every time?” 

Yes.

X

The group are at the tavern in the Swallow’s Perch celebrating a successful escort mission some nights later. Although, to call it a celebration when two thirds of the party hadn't been interested in attending was generous. Of course it had been Rokka and Han's idea. The two had somehow managed to get the other four to participate. Between Rokka's innocent cluelessness and Han's stubbornness, it isn't like they could've said no. 

Psalm watches from a safe distance as Keva goes around pickpocketing strangers while Cimmorro distracts them, and wonders what'll happen if Han notices. 

He's not really in the mood to drink right now, but he empties a few tankards anyways for lack of anything better to do. 

Rokka comes over and sits next to him. 

“Why the long face roomie?” 

Psalm raises an eyebrow. “This is how it is normally.” 

“Oh ok. Plum said you looked like you wanted company, so I thought you were sad or something but if you're not, that's good too!” 

Psalm is pretty sure Plum just didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Rokka's attention, but he refrains from saying that. Plum cuts their eyes at him from across the counter, and Psalm wonders what exactly he's done to incur their wrath this time. Probably nothing, if he's honest, Plum is just kind of a nuisance without really meaning to be. 

“Well since I'm perfectly fine, how about we both go let Plum know?” 

“Good idea,” Rokka says, clearly pleased at the idea. 

Plum does not look as pleased when they look up from their drink and realise that not only has Rokka returned, but Psalm is one step behind him. 

“Not this,” Plum says, “anything but this.”

Rokka takes the seat next to them. “Not what?” 

Psalm takes the seat on the opposite side of Plum. 

“Heard you were worried about me. I'm touched.” 

“I'm not worried,” Plum says indignantly, “you've just had a dumb mopey look on your face since the other day. Did your boyfriend dump you?” 

Psalm frowns at the exact same time Rokka's ears perk up. 

“You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend roomie!” he says, at a volume that was much louder than was necessary. Of course, it takes all of no seconds for the rest of the party to look at Psalm. This is what he gets for trying to harass Plum clearly. God has he learned his lesson now. 

“I didn't tell you because I don't have one.” Not that he would've gone out of his way to if he did. Not out of any sort of ill intent towards Rokka, it was just that clearly he couldn't keep his mouth shut. 

The others are suddenly crowded around him. Since when did they care so much? 

“How'd you find someone with the same freaky kinks as you?” Cimmorro asks. Psalm can never tell when he's being serious or not. 

“I'm not even going to grace that with a real response,” he says. 

“I have to agree,” Keva says, “with Cimmorro that is. Also congrats I guess. There's a heart in there after all. Probably.” 

“I'm shocked too,” Han says, “I just assumed one with no emotions like you would have trouble finding a partner.”

“All of you are rude as hell,” Psalm says, suddenly devoid of any desire to clear the misunderstanding. He has a small suspicion it wouldn't be worth the effort. 

It's at that moment, that karma delivers the biggest fuck you imaginable. The doors of the tavern swing open, and Henrick walks in followed by two men, one of whom Psalm doesn’t recognise, and one he does because it's Rickert. 

A lot of different things happen in quick succession at that point.

Henrick spots Han, because she's hard to miss, and immediately tries to make a U-turn out the door. 

It's unsuccessful, as Rickert spots Han as well, pushes Henrick out of the way and is gone faster than should be possible.

Han spots Rickert and leaps over the counter towards him.

Plum yells “There's the boyfriend! Go bother him!” at Rokka, and points at Henrick. 

Psalm contemplates jumping off the nearest cliff into the ocean. Or killing Plum. Whichever is easiest.

There's a lot of commotion after that. Ferrie looks slightly exasperated as she tries to calm the other patrons down. Rokka heads out the door as well, Psalm assumes to go back Han up, but not without sparing a glance over at Henrick. Henrick doesn't notice because he's too busy giving, Plum a curious look. It takes no time at all for Psalm to guess why.

Suddenly Psalm feels his sobriety evaporating into thin air as dread? Or maybe anxiety, he can't tell which, takes over. Curse his habit of over drinking.

“I think I'm done for the night,” he says, standing up. Better to avoid disaster completely, than attempt to face it while rapidly getting more intoxicated. 

Plum gives him a look of pity and understanding. Keva and Cimmorro have left, possibly also to go help Han. Or maybe it's just the bounty they're interested in. Either way it's just he and Plum left. 

“You don't have to go just because you got dumped,” Plum says.

“I am genuinely curious as to how you arrived at the conclusion that I got dumped, because you sound genuine and that scares me.” 

“Is this seat taken?” a voice says to his right. Psalm doesn't turn around because he knows who it is.

“Be my guest.”  There’s no escape as he hears Henrick pull back the seat beside him and sit down, but he tries anyways. 

“I was just leaving anyways.” He doesn’t want to think about Henrick’s reaction to that. Maybe if he gets there in time, he can get in the middle of Rickert and Psalm’s fight and they’ll both kill him. The idea is incredibly enticing.

Before he can even start to move towards the door Plum pulls Psalm in by the front of his shirt and whispers at him.

“You can't leave. Look, he wants to sort things out.” 

“There is no way you could be this stu- I mean mis-infomed. Seriously.” 

“I don't get what you mean, but if you leave now it'll just be me and him, and I don't want that.” 

Ah yes. Typical Plum behaviour. 

“I don't care.” 

“I'll tell him about your weird kinks.” 

“Go ahead.” 

Plum shakes him a bit. “Why are you being like this?”

“I’ve had too much to drink.” 

“So you’re worried about saying something stupid in front of the guy you like?”

Plum laying it out bare to him like that makes him feel embarrassed. 

“I don’t like him. I just think he’s cute.”

Plum gives him a disgusted look. 

“Not like that. More of an ‘his reactions are cute so I want to bully him’ kind of way. Which is what I usually do, but now I don’t know if I can stop myself from saying anything stupid. Like I’m doing right now actually.”

“I see now why you want to leave so badly. You should never drink again. Ever. I’m serious.”

“Glad to see we’re finally on the same pa- where are you going?” Plum is in the middle of leaving their seat, but they stop to give Psalm an annoyed look. Not that the annoyed look every really left their face.

“I’m getting kind of tired of whispering, also you’re being dumb so I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Before Psalm can stop them, they’ve walked off to a different section of the bar, effectively stranding him here with Henrick, who he hasn’t even formally acknowledged yet.

That problem solves itself the moment Plum is out of earshot.

“So... boyfriend huh?” Henrick says. 

Psalm doesn’t turn around.

“If I searched hard enough I could find your boss and get him to kill me right? How far do you think he's made it?”

Henrick chuckles. “Dunno. You gonna sit back down or am I going to end up drinking by myself?” 

Psalm sighs. There's no getting out of this one. He considers for one, brief, desperate moment, asking Ghester for help, but that has never proved to be useful the entire time he's known him. 

“Can't have that can we?” he says instead, and sits down in the seat he'd been previously occupying.

There's a long silence as Henrick sits there and drinks, and with nothing else to do Psalm just watches him. 

“Not very talkative tonight I see.” 

“I don't really know what to do now that the tables are turned if I’m honest,” Henrick says. He scratches at his face sheepishly. 

“You could consider just forgetting me or my idiot friends said anything. We could go back to square one? Hello, my name’s Psalm.” 

Henrick smiles. “Are you drunk? It's kind of hard to tell, but it feels like you are.” 

“I'm perfectly coherent thanks,” Psalm huffs.He battles the urge to pout for a solid ten seconds before he loses. 

“It's kinda nice? Usually you're just like this,” and then Henrick makes a face that Psalm assumes is supposed to be an imitation of him. It just looks like he's constipated.

“A perfect imitation,” Psalm says.

“Oh shut it, you know I'm right. You're more honest too right now, I guess. You should drink more often. ” 

“That is quite literally the opposite of what I was told a couple minutes ago. Funny how that works. Life in general is funny. Ha.” 

God Psalm, he thinks, just shut it already.

“I think it's kinda cute?” Henrick says, and the takes a sip from his drink.

Psalm stares at him. The inebriated state of his mind isn't really helping to decipher the meaning behind that statement. Maybe there isn't any. He hadn't really thought that far ahead regarding his encounters with Henrick beyond, “elf cute, gotta tease”, so the reciprocation of sentiment on Henrick's part was throwing him off.

“Do you want to take a walk with me?” Psalm asks. He gets up from his seat. “I feel like taking a walk.” 

Henrick makes a face like he misheard. “Uh... what? Right now?” 

“You'd rather be here when Han comes back?”  

Henrick pales. “A walk sounds good.” 

X

It's a cool night, thankfully, because it'd been kind of stuffy inside the bar. There are just enough people outside in the streets for the night to feel lively.

“What are you even doing here? At Swallow's Perch. I’d figured it was too open a space for thieves,” Psalm asks once they're a reasonable distance away. 

“Eh, boss was meeting up with a client here. Although I guess the job's shot if your friend kills him huh...damn.” 

“You don’t sound all that concerned.” 

“Well it's not like I like the guy...he pokes me fulla holes any chance he gets really. Although it would be a pain to have to find new work and- hey, actually can we not talk about Rickert?”

Psalm fiddles with the neck of his shirt. “Sorry I'm all out ideas. I'm afraid you'll have to take over.”

Henrick snorts. “Weird, you usually have something to say.” 

“Yes well, right now it's harder for me. My head's a bit of a mess.” As if to prove his point, Psalm just narrowly misses walking into a lamppost. Henrick reaches out and pulls him out of the way. 

Just kill me now, Psalm thinks, there's no need for me to suffer first. 

“Maybe you should sit down.” 

“Great idea.” The two stop at a nearby bench, just a little ways off from the market square. Psalm hopes that Rickert is keeping Han busy, or it's likely she'll pass by them on the way back to the inn.

Psalm sits down, but Henrick remains standing. 

“Ok, I think we should probably stop beating around the bush,” he says. Psalm laughs nervously. 

“The tables really have turned haven't they? Is that the liquid courage talking or are you being serious?” 

“Actually it's both.” 

“I see.” 

“Ok just listen. I know this is kind of silly, mostly because you and your friends tried to kill me and my friends the first time we met, and it's been like, two other times since then and your goliath friend-” 

“Han,” Psalm interjects before he can stop himself. He's definitely swearing off alcohol forever.

“Yeah her, yeah she terrifies me, but, the point is I think you're interested in me in the same way I am in you, and it'd be nice if we could see each other maybe not by chance?” 

Psalm runs that last part in his head a couple times. “Are you asking me on a date?” 

Henrick's sudden burst of confidence seems to be disappearing, because he suddenly starts fidgeting. 

“Uh yeah? More or less. Unless I just completely misunderstood every interaction we've had so far. I did didn't I? Oh god.” 

Psalm feels like he's on fire, but he puts that aside for now to stop Henrick from self-destructing. 

“No, no you were right. Sorry I'm just- How about tomorrow?” 

Henrick frowns at him. “You don't seem very interested.”

“Sorry were you expecting me to be blushing like a teenage girl? It’s not very easy to pull off with red skin, I assure you.” Psalm is actually doing his best not to rocket into space, but Henrick doesn't need to know that. 

Henrick sighs and sits down on the bench. “Maybe I have a thing for assholes.” 

Psalm raises an eyebrow. “Oh? I can be nice too I if you want.” 

Henrick flushes. “What do you mean?” 

“I can show you if you'd like,” he says, meaning in.  Before he can make good on his comment though, there's a sudden noise like a stampede off in the distance. Psalm has a feeling he knows what it is, and sure enough as the sound gets closer he recognises Han's silhouette as she barrels towards them. 

There's a distinct lack of blood on her, so he figures Rickert escaped safely. 

“I think it'd be best if you escaped,” Psalm says.

“What makes you say that,” Henrick says as he leaps off the bench. He takes off in the opposite direction, but not before yelling “Remember tomorrow,” as he disappears into the distance. 

Han, having lost yet another target, focuses her attention on Psalm, who she picks up by the cape not unlike she would a small child. 

“Hello Han, having fun ruining my night?” 

“That makes both of us. Why did your friend run off?”

“You spent most of tonight trying to kill his boss.” 

Han scoffs as if what Psalm had just said was in any way unreasonable. “I was just going to gently persuade him to tell me location, nothing too intense.” She drops him to his feet (seriously, she must be doing this to flex on him or something) and begins to head back to the inn. 

“You coming?” 

Psalm falls into step a little behind her, and the two walk in relative silence for a bit before Ghester shows himself. 

Quite a night, he says.

“I'm glad it’s over, if that's what you're getting at,” Psalm responds quietly in Infernal.

Oh? Looking forward to tomorrow I see.

“Something like that.” He realises somewhat belatedly that they hadn't really set a time or place. Oh well, they'd figure something out.

“Did you say something?” Han turns back to look at him. 

Psalm smiles. “You must've misheard.”