#identity discovery

[eira-kuso]

Actually no joke headcannoning characters with identities that don't match their canon counterpart has helped me a lot with accepting myself.

Like those transfem Silver and Casey Jones and Bart Allen (im not transfem i just like femininity) fanart and fics made me feel an emotion that doesn't feel real. Like these cool characters being so genuinely happy with their identity that they found out. Being so much happier than their original counterpart because they found themselves on the thing i find comfort on. Its nice.

[rensotherkinblog]

I think I have debunked all of the confusion i had about my otherkin identity back when i first discovered i wasnt human earlier this year in february.

Both of the "Two Kintypes without a species name" were really just forms I shapeshifted into whilst I was a celestial being in my previous life. One of the forms was actually a sparkle dog with horns, and the other? Some sort of humanoid being similar to an imp but different.

[moonys-chaos]

Just remembered it's ace week so i'd like to talk about my ace identity and its came to be

When I was exploring my identity, I noticed a lack of sexual attraction, so I began looking into it and found asexual, which I identified with for a long while before I soon found that asexuality is an entire spectrum! I just kept looking into it and I found yet another identity that fit me; demisexual! I don't quite remember the rest of my journey I remember a few of them, but I don't remember the names, its 9 PM and I'm just rambling :3

but a few weeks ago I found orchidsexual, which I felt connected to the most, for those who don't know what orchidsexual is, I snatched a explanation off the internet

Orchidsexual is a microlabel on the Asexual Spectrum in which an individual experiences sexual attraction, but does not desire a sexual relationship or encounter. It can be used on its own or as an umbrella term. Someone who identifies as orchidsexual may consider others to be sexually attractive, but they would lack the desire to have or dislike having sexual experience

[psychedelicjoyride]

Alright, so a general overview of where I am in my identity discovery rn- at least just to put something down. 

I’ve known about plurality for a good few years now, it’s not a new concept to me, but what is new is its relation to me. I guess the best place to start is that I learned through a YouTube channel where they vlogged their experienced with DID- and, of course, I as a young impressionable teen figured "oh, well this must be what most DID look like" because I was dumb (/aff) and had no experience. I've since been learning past that, but at the end of the day I assumed 'for there to be more pieces to me than just Me, I'd have to have noticed memories missing, or someone would have to notice a change in my demeanor' and nobody had so... that's where I stayed.

Sure, I was incredibly curious about DID (and other plurality as I learned about it) but that was totally just a hyperfixation and absolutely not about self-exploration at all. noooo. of course not. (I say all that sarcastically, very sarcastically.) As I learned more, for every piece I related to there'd be 5 pieces I wouldn't- so no alarm bells rang in my head. Now, something else came up about this time- I stumbled onto the therian side of TikTok.

I've always loved LARPing as a dog or wolf or cat or- well about any creature I could get my grubby hands on back in middle-school XD. The thought of running around on all 4s with those fun masks I always saw, I dunno it looked like the best thing I'd ever seen. The joy on their faces, the excited yips- everything I could ever have wanted. But, here's the kicker- I'm heavily disabled, at least compared to when I was younger.

I won't go into all the gruesome details, but my left foot is stuck in a permanent tip-toe position, and I'm currently in quite the medical battle to figure out if I have cerebral palsy or hypermobile EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome) since the diagnosis' clash and I can't have both on my file. I use a cane or wheelchair depending on pain levels, and basically- I can't run on all 4s, nor can I adjust my gait.

I look back when I was a kid, and I struggle to tell if this was just because I loved wolves and the Warriors series or because of something deeper, but my feelings now... I dunno, it's complicated! It's never easy, is it? Generally, it goes like this- I wish I had ears & a tail so that I could physically show my emotions without speaking. I wish I could have a tail to wag when I'm happy, I wish I had big fluffy paws with soft lil toe-beans, I wish I wasn't human. But I am, and part of me wonders if I only think this way because my body is breaking down around me. Would I feel this way if I was abled? That's the million dollar question.

I have more to add, but right now I think this is a good start. These are my worries, these are my doubts, and I'll go more into detail about everything here- plus my own gender (which is a whole other can of worms) but right now... I've been rambling for ages lol, I need to do other things.

-Psyche

[lilyminer]

Still tryna figure out what the hell is wrong with my gender presentation. Like my gender identity is a whole other can of worms.

But you see, because of sharing a room with my siblings in the past I’ve ended up with two wardrobes in my room. I fill one with very masculine clothes and the other with pretty frilly girls clothes. And which of the two I choose my outfit from changes based on the day.

Some days I cannot stand dressing girly and some days I’ll sit around in a dress and despise even the idea of wearing a tshirt instead. I don’t fucking know what’s going on tbh. “Are you girly? Or are you a tomboy?” Both! Apparently! Or neither, cuz both of those ideas kinda require a style purity I think. I don’t think I’m genderfluid/bigender, I just think I have the world’s most annoying personal style where I’m stuck at either feminine or masculine extreme with nothing except lazy days in the middle. I just wanna be able to tell someone how I dress in a couple words like most ppl can.

[shithowdy]

let's hear it for the OCs that force you to improve as a person due to the mindset it requires to roleplay them

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

blondie boutta pounce dot jpg

[morninkim]

that one movie sinbad did about the genie

[tiarpopdind]

I was inspired by one of the prompts from MCtober - genderbend your MC.

Um i have many thoughts about this... rant below.....

Was trying to draw genderbent Tris for funsies and never in my life had i been so humbled 💀

Brother got me so stressed out i had to get up to pace around the room while asking myself if i was even deserving enough to be called an artist

I am being dramatic, i apologize.

I think i was trying hard to make her male version look more masculine but at the same time i also really wanted him to have that girly soft features because well Tris is kinda squishy regardless of the gender.

The problem is i think it is either my art style is too feminine and i genuinely cannot draw men (woe is me) or Tris is already somewhat androgynous enough to be both masculine and feminine at the same time so if i overdo one or the other it just won't look like her???

So i ended up with a genderbent version that was identical to the regular Tris... it's almost like nothing changed, except maybe she got taller LOL (artistically an impressive feat tbh...knowing how i can't even replicate my own style sometimes)

And you know what, it IS a little silly, so i'm gonna make that canon ... she is just a creature .... male or female.......

(i'm one step away from making her a nonbinary im tired of this gender bullcrap......

its my own fault i literally stressed myself out for no reason...

Okay but nonbinary Tris doesn't sound bad........ i will consider it...)

This is a embarrassing i feel like i overshared a little LOL maybe i just think a lot about genders and stuff...

Sorry to the people of tumblr who had to read this ily ill go back to being quiet and mysterious now ♡♡♡♡

[xleethegreat]

they r holding hands ‼️‼️‼️ (artist is francis xie!)

[nixthelapin]

A Jekyll&Hyde type akuma whose power is to bring out a hidden or repressed part of your personality (but like, making two of you instead of switching in one body), and when Chat gets hit suddenly there’s both “normal” Chat (I’ll get to that in a sec) and Cat Walker/Patte de Velours at the same time.

(Cue Ladybug freaking out upon learning they’re the same person)

“Normal” Chat looks the same, but is just a bit more intense (since this is Adrien’s way of “letting loose” to not be how he is as a civilian, he’s not too different, but because of the split he does lose some usual traits). I.e. *heavily* flirting with LB, going at it with the puns, more agressive and impulsive with the akuma, doesnt like following orders (especially with the remaining feelings of anger towards the partnership being put further into question as LB prefers CW), heart on his sleeve

Cat Walker is also not super different to the episode he was in, but is also more intense thanks to the akuma: all business- no nonsense, doesn’t laugh at jokes (even in a “I’ll laugh if you want” way, like in Kuroneko), cordial to LB, follows LB’s orders to a T (to the point of not making his own decisions in battle), calm and collected (almost emotionless, even with that plastered smile)

CN starts to hate CW as the fight goes on, because LB seems to prefer him (and she’s understandably getting annoyed with CN’s impulsivity). CN gets territorial, saying that he’s LB’s partner. CW: “then why did she replace you with me?” (Man, look at all the self hatred in Adrien’s psyche!)

So CN runs off and leaves them alone to fight the akuma. This ticks LB off even more, but she has an akuma to deal with- and she has CW- so she lets him go.

As the fight goes on, some of the same issues from Kuroneko occur, so she also gets frustrated with CW too.

Since he’s acting more extreme than normal (more like someone awaiting orders than a partner due to the Jekyll&Hyde thing), it causes more problems (like him waiting for her decisions leaving openings where he could’ve done something proactive)

She actually blows up at him, asking why he didn’t do anything (“I was waiting for you to tell me the plan!”), and she says he should be able to think on his own, he doesn’t need her to tell him everything, but- “I thought I was just being what you wanted.”

(He’s shocked and genuinely hurt- though it’s still pretty quiet emotion, subdued and apologetic)

And that’s when it clicks for her what becoming CW was back in Kuroneko. He was molding himself for her. And this version of CW is even more of that. She realizes just how much CN suppresses, not just for her, but for everyone- why else would this be a major aspect of his personality?

(Also, Patte de Velours? Velvet Paw? That’s basically saying he’s been declawed. Yikes.)

She makes CN get his butt back to the fight (or she finds him- he may have been doing something while away like talking with someone, maybe Alya or Nino, or Luka). CN and CW argue more, with insults. Then she goes on a whole rant/lecture to them about how important they both are, both to her and to each other, how they are one person, and their traits are both important, but each extreme is not great. Ex: instinct/impulse and service/obedience (the key is self control, so that your emotions aren’t controlling you, but neither is another person). He is allowed to be both! Neither personality is bad, and hating one is just hating himself- he can’t just reject a fundamental part of himself.

She makes them agree to work together to defeat the akuma. It’s awkward at first, but they get a rhythm by seeing where each one is needed in the plan (LB does still do that, but how they follow is more fluid now). Two cataclysms now! Yay! (Maybe they used their powers already and have to de transform, and they see themselves as Adrien- the same one, not different, and it gets through their skulls. Idk I’m spitballing).

They have a quick talk between the two about accepting each other, it won’t be easy, I’m nervous, we’ll be okay (“yeah, I think we will :)”), etc.

Ends with them combining back with the ladybug cure. Surprise! His outfit is combined too! (Honestly, I just want the ponytail with the fluffy hair)

LB and CN have a talk after recharging about everything. CN apologizes for lying about CW and explains why and how he did it. LB didn’t realize how much he hid. She never meant for him to change or hate parts of himself. He thought she didn’t like the CN parts of him, but LB promises that isn’t true. She admits she did get… annoyed, but never hate! She loves both sides of him. Besides, CW didn’t work out that first time, remember? (Though she very much leaves out her intense crushing being the deciding factor there)

CN admits he feels more, well, not whole, exactly, he’s actually still pretty uncertain about what all this means for “who he is,” but… he can at least say he feels less like he has to perform all the time. He loves being Chat Noir, but he is exaggerating a bit when he transforms, in part to be not like his civilian life. He tells her he’s not like that as a civilian, but he’s also not like Cat Walker. But he’s not really sure who “he” is yet. (What I’m getting at is Oblivio!Adrien- dorky, but not over the top, in love, trusts his lady to make the plan, but is still proactive, etc.)

LB says that’s okay, he doesn’t have to figure it out right away. But she’ll be there to help him figure it out.

END

[bookishblogging]

[internalearthquake]

my ghosts within

In the midst of what seems mundane lies a hidden world

Ghosts surround me, accompanying my every step

The lost, the unmet, the real, the imagined

These translucent entities haunt and console me

Wispy figments shift in and out of awareness 

Subdued whispers, their presence felt but never seen 

What may seem ordinary masks profound challenges

I push aside my ghosts who yearn to be acknowledged

Fragile mind oscillates betwixt clarity and confusion

A perpetual struggle to live in the present 

The universe is littered with daily reminders

of what once was… 

of what could have been…

of what I have lost…

of what was never mine…

of what will never be…

Every hushed whisper, every reverberating echo

My ghosts represent these fragments of my narrative

An incomplete history of distortions and illusions

Leaves me feeling incomplete

So, who am I?

What may often be overlooked carries significance to me

Unanswered questions ignite chaos within my mind

I navigate an unsolvable labyrinth of mystery

External investigations cannot unveil these buried truths

Healing lies in reconciling with my ghosts within

Dialogue with them holds the key to my liberation,

Clearing away the misty fog that clouds my perception

By forgiving the past and accepting the unknown,

I can release my ghosts from my internal world

Empowered, I can forge my own narrative,

Finally discovering who I am

[cosmicredcadet]

People who identify as Aspec because of trauma are still Aspec. People who identify as Aspec because of Dysphoria are still Aspec People who realized later on they weren't Aspec where are any less Aspec when they were identifying as it. The point is that at some point they related to and felt understood under an Aspec identity and that's all you need to be Aspec. If it changes later on then that's just how it is, it doesn't make them a faker or poser. It makes them a human being who is constantly growing and understanding more about themselves. We should be supporting these people not treating them as the enemy. If they change their minds then that's okay!

So many of us Aspec people used to think we were allo before realizing we weren't so why are we attacking others for having the same experience just with different identities?

[my-safe-space99]

“Honestly I just can’t be bothered to give everyone a vocab lesson”.

i understand that some people may agree with isaac in this sentiment, but i just have to say that i am so grateful to have my friends. they are honestly the most accepting and loving group one could hope for when discovering who they are.

and i personally love when they ask questions about my identity. it makes me feel seen, like they're truly trying to understand who i am and how it may impact me or influence things i say/do/enjoy. i don't mind giving them "a vocab lesson" because it's coming from a place of love and genuine curiosity and desire to understand.

that's all. just needed to express my appreciation and love for them.

i hope everyone, no matter their identity, has a group of friends that they can turn to and be truly seen by.

[somnolent-scout]

where do i belong

Read More

For the past few months, I have had many experiences along my journey of self-discovery and queer identity. I've felt like I don't quite belong where I am, like I'm out of place in both spaces I felt most welcome. Between the streets of Capitol Hill and the halls of various conventions, I have felt a little lost. I want to be openly queer and be a part of the local community of Cal Anderson Park. I want to continue to cosplay as Scout and bring people together as a fandom at conventions. But I felt as if I don't fit into either group. Many times I've looked at what I have and feel that I don't deserve this life. That I don't belong here..

But with the help of my loving boyfriend and my community, I've come to realize..

I belong here.

Both of these communities are what I call home, and both of these communities welcome me back whenever I return. Thank you for helping me find my place in the world.

Even if I was only temporary.