#i've had a hard time writing anything but it is what it is

[kay-jaye]

when it finally happens, crowley freezes where he’s standing in the bookshop. he’s between shelves, fingers lingering over the spines of books like he’d been running his hand along the leather. he hadn’t. crowley can’t bring himself to touch anything in here, sit on any of the furniture, move a single item out of its place. it’s stupid, he’s afraid to burn himself without the angel here. stupid.

there was no bell chime of the door opening. only a shift in the air, like warmth returning to the limbs after falling asleep, and suddenly there’s an angel standing where no angel should be, just inside the entrance.

they find each other immediately. the angel looks surprised but not by much, and very, very tired. he shoulders bated relief and fear, while managing to look determined still. crowley doesn’t know what he looks like. drunk maybe.

“i’m back,” aziraphale finally says, breathes, really.

crowley says fuck somewhere in his mind, but what comes out is “i can see that.”

you’re bound to experience déjà vu when you’ve been alive as long as he has. crowley sees this playing out somewhere nicer with an apology dance and champagne over dinner. but that would’ve been months ago, and he knows better.

the angel knows better, too. that’s how crowley justifies it.

“forget something?”

that breaks aziraphale’s shaky resolve down into something shameful, and crowley is equally ashamed at the painful satisfaction it gives him. “crowley—” the angel tries.

“no, that’s not it.” crowley’s aware of the ice-cold wave that washes through the room and how it’s probably his own doing. “i’m pretty sure you knew you were leaving that behind.”

there’s a pause, and then aziraphale says, “i didn’t think you’d be here.”

crowley lets out an unimpressed noise. they’ve known each other for too long. “lying never looks right on you angels.”

the silence that follows is awkward and angry. the longer they stand there, unmoving with miles of space fitting in the feet between them, the more it begins to feel like an act. the scowl on crowley’s face starts to edge off, and he’s afraid of whatever real expression will be there when the mask drops.

aziraphale refuses to move or say or do anything. crowley thinks maybe this place is neither of theirs anymore. maybe aziraphale needs permission to be here. maybe crowley will burn if he stays.

but maybe there’s nothing left they can give each other.

crowley is bitter, but he’s also done.

“do whatever you need, aziraphale. i was just leaving.”

he should’ve waited for the angel to come to his senses and move out of the doorway, grab whatever book, paper, or trinket he missed so badly in heaven that he had to come back down here for. but crowley can do it. he can walk past him and hold it together and get in the bentley and go to sleep for a couple years like he should’ve months ago. crowley starts for the door.

closure is for humans who have expiration dates and ducks to get in rows.

he’s almost in the clear, so close to the angel that he can feel the nervous energy radiating, and crowley already knows he’ll be dreaming of that cologne for the next decade. he thinks briefly that there will be some magnetic force that kicks in and things will be like they were supposed to.

then the angel moves, reflexively, and a hand to crowley’s chest stops him in his tracks. the pressure is minimal, but it still knocks all of the air out of his lungs.

crowley barely gets a good look at the angel before arms are wrapping around him. it only takes a moment, and then, like warmth waking up the limbs again, he’s hugging back without another thought.

it’s nothing like the kiss—rushed, desperate, final. it’s wrong and it’s right. it’s over and not.

aziraphale says something into his shoulder, but crowley won’t let go to pull away because he doesn’t want to hear. to know if this is goodbye. the angel just continues, and crowley realizes he’s singing softly. out of tune and out of breath.

something about nightingales.

it both fills and breaks his heart.

“i would’ve followed you anywhere,” crowley whispers, “just not there.”

aziraphale nods, quiet, and eventually slides his hands away. crowley lets him. the angel looks him in the eyes, as if the sunglasses aren’t even there, and then without sparing a single glance at anything else in the room, the angel leaves.

[jenniferjareauwife]

Work Stress

pairing: billie eilish x fem reader

category: fluff

warnings: anxiety

word count: 629

summary: you get home after a stressful work day and billie comforts you

I came home with a heavy weight on my shoulders. It had been a rough few days, Billie was spending her free time making music which inevitably meant less time with her but I was stuck at work with meeting after meeting with nothing but anxiety weighing on me.

I set my bag down on the kitchen counter before retreating to Billie and my's shared bedroom.

There she was, headphones on, notebook in hand. Scribbles of art written all over the pages with one liners next to almost all of them. I wanted more than anything to get in bed next to her but she was busy and I didn't want to disturb her so I just walked to the bathroom to take off my makeup. "Hey baby." I couldn't help but feel my heart melt at her sweet voice.

"Hi." It came out as a whisper and I looked to her as she took off her headphones.

"Everything alright?" She leaned on the doorframe, her brows furrowed a bit as she tried to read me.

"Long day." I sighed and leaned against the counter with my hands, giving her a small frown.

"You could've texted me. I would've faked a car crash so you could leave work." I laughed along with her.

"Aw I really should've shouldn't I?"

"Well that's what I'm for, right?" I pretended to give it some thought but I eventually just agreed with her.

"It's not that I don't like my job." I started. "It can just be a fuck ton sometimes."

"I know sweet girl, I know." She took me into her arms, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"We should just live on an island or something."

"I agree. Have a few parrots." I laughed at the thought.

"We could create a civilization. Create a new language." I offered. She giggled and rubbed my back. "Come on baby, let's get you into some more comfortable clothes." She guided me to the bed before starting to undress me, starting with everything on top before removing everything on bottom.

"It's chilly. Hoodie?" She smiled and nodded, already reaching for her hit me hard and soft hoodie that was laying on the floor. It smelled like her, making my body relax.

"What else can I do for you my love?"

"Hm. I mean...I think I'm just really tired, you know? Kinda wanna settle down. You can go back to writing if you want, I just want your company."

"No baby, I've spent all day writing, I'm here for you." She pulled the covers up over me before getting comfortable next to me. "Any shows? Books?"

"I don't really know. Kinda was just looking forward to you."

"You're so cute." She kissed my nose before pulling the hood up over my head.

"Ew it's gonna mess up my hair."

"It's cute." She shrugged as I pulled the hood down, my hair already messed up. "You're so pretty." I scrunched up my nose and leaned into her, burying my face in her neck. "I'll tell you what. For this weekend, I'll cancel my studio times."

"Why?" I pulled my head out of her neck, a quizzical look on my face.

"To spend more time with you, help you through this bit of anxiety." She ran her fingers gently through my messy hair. "I'm sorry I haven't been here." She had a small frown on her face that I quickly kissed away.

"It's okay. I know you have multiple priorities, I can't expect you to be around all the time." I laughed softly, trying to make her feel a bit better.

"Okay." She smiled. "But if you ever feel this way at work again, remember, car crash." She held out her pinky, linking it with mine.

"Car crash."

[kyokutsu-sama]

Can I request a fic where Gyomeis wife is pregnant with twins? I saw how you wrote Sanemi and I just absolutely loved it. Maybe Gyomei could start off being nervous (he hopes the babies dont inherit his blindness so he’s happy y/n is pregnant but nervous at the same time)

I would just love to see how attentive he would treat her even if he’s blind. Like he’s insanely strong so carrying her or coming behind her to gently lift her tummy to ease the tension in her back and off her bladder wouldn’t be a problem. He’d LOVE touching her belly and holding her. I think he’d do so well with twin boys. 🩷🥹

Hi @totallygyomeiswife !

A/n: This Sanemi fic will always be the one I enjoyed writing the most😍 and I also thought about writing one for Gyomei but I ended up starting other projects and I left that one aside but now that you sent the request I decided to write it.

I would give anything to see a man that size holding his tiny baby in his hands. It would be so cute❤️🥹

The first rays of sunlight entered through the crack between the window and the curtain, waking you up. You slowly sat up in bed and when you looked to the side, all you could see were the sheets unfolded and an empty space. Gyomei had probably gotten up before sunrise to go to a quieter place to say his prayers. A habit you were already used to.

You felt nauseous and unwell, it seemed like you were going to vomit. Something you had been feeling for a long time and it wasn't just when you woke up, it was also with certain smells that made you feel like this. The nausea was starting to intensify and that was when you ran to the bathroom to throw up.

When that episode was over, you got up a little shakily and flushed the toilet. Your eyes faced your own reflection in the mirror as you washed your face and pondered what had just happened.

You didn't want to think that there was something wrong with your health, but something else popped into your mind and you widened your eyes at the thought.

"Could it be?" You wondered. "No, maybe it's not that. I mean..." You closed your eyes and sighed

It was very likely that it could be what you were thinking. It was very likely that you could be pregnant.

You then left the bathroom to get dressed and go to the butterfly mansion to clarify this whole situation.

~~~

You entered the bedroom and saw Gyomei sitting on the balcony. You approached him, and even without seeing, he could feel your presence.

"These footsteps sound exactly like those of my lovely wife, am I right?" He asked with a little smile

"Yes, you are." You smiled, sitting next to him, holding one of his huge hands that covered yours

You remained silent for a while, caressing the calloused skin of his hands, the result of his hard training. You were thoughtful and tense, something he could feel.

"Are you okay, my love?" He asked, looking to the side where you were, as if he could see you there.

"Yes, it's just..." You were going to continue the sentence, but you got a little nervous. "I've had something to tell you for a while, but I'm afraid."

"You can tell me, my dear, I'll always be here to listen to you. There's no need to be afraid."

"Gyomei, I went to talk to Shinobu a few days ago and... and I found out something."

"What? You don't have anything serious, do you?" Gyomei felt tears on the verge of falling down his face

"No, it's nothing like that. Mei, I'm pregnant." You finally spoke and it was then that the tears fell down his face

You looked at him and he was crying, his hand intertwined with yours on your lap as he cried, making you cry too. You thought he was sad about the news, but he soon proved otherwise.

"I didn't know how you would react. I didn't want to tell you because I was scared and anxious." You whimpered with a few sniffles

"My love, I'm just so moved. You're carrying something so precious and so innocent inside your womb, something that belongs to both of us and that I will protect no matter what." He answered, making your heart feel lighter at that moment.

"Oh, my love." You moved to his lap, hugging him just to feel his strong arms around you, giving you the great feeling of protection that you loved to feel

~~~

He decided to talk to the master Ubuyashiki after finding out he was going to be a father so that he could have the opportunity to spend more time with you, not going on as many missions as before. Unless it was an emergency that he really had to be called in for.

The master not only congratulated him but also agreed, which made tears of gratitude fall.

When his hands felt your belly start to grow, he made a point of carrying you everywhere in the house. You only got out of his arms when you sat at the table or when he laid you down.

When you had insecurities about looking heavier, he assured you that you were still perfect and that there was nothing that his strong arms couldn't carry.

"My love, I may be blind but I'm still sure that you're still beautiful." He said and you cried

Those months also made you more sensitive and now he wasn't the only one who cried over everything.

He loved the afternoons you two spent together cuddling and when he could run his hand over your round, soft belly.

"What do you think it is, love?" You asked, placing your hand over his. "A boy or a girl?"

"Maybe a girl with a beautiful, cheerful voice like her mother, or a strong boy like me." He smiled and you wiped his tears with your thumb, caressing his cheeks."I just hope they come out with good health and that they in no way inherit my blindness. I prayed hard that they would have the blessing of being able to see when they were born."

"Everything will be fine, my love. Whatever it is, they will come healthy and with good eyes so that they can see not only me but also the wonderful and loving father that you are." You smiled at him, holding his face with both hands. "I love you." You placed a kiss on his lips and he wrapped you in a tight hug

"Me too, my dear."

~~~

"The master asked that all the hashiras gather in the meeting room tonight. I wanted to stay here with you, but I don't think I can. I'm sorry." Gyomei said, lowering his gaze a little, but you comforted him by holding his hands

"It's okay, baby. I'll be fine, don't worry."

"I know, but even so... It's already night and those creatures are out there. I'm afraid the same thing will happen that happened that night when I lost all those people in the temple."He said

He didn't want to lose his wife and child in the same night. He couldn't bear to live through a night like that again.

"Gyomei, I promise. I'll be fine and no one will hurt me. Do you trust me?"

"Alright, then. I'll go, even if I'm a little nervous, but everything will be fine." He gave an optimistic smile

"Come here, my big boy." You raised your arms, trying to embrace his broad frame that towered over yours. He was as big as his heart. A true gentle giant.

~~~

It had been some time since he had left and you now found yourself sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard while holding the Buddhist rosary he had left with you as a protection. The same rosary he always carried in his hands during prayers in which he asked for protection over you and your womb and also for strength for him so he could protect his family.

You looked at the rosary beads and all you could think about was your husband's face. He prayed each one patiently and full of faith.

A strong contraction appeared and you held your belly with a groan of pain. You thought it had been just another random kick from the baby, but seeing how the pain only intensified, you realized that it was not just another kick, but the birth of your baby.

You began to cry in pain and clutched his rosary tightly, hoping that he would come home soon to help you.

"And that's it for today, my children, the meeting is over." Master Ubuyashiki declared and the hashiras bowed before leaving

Gyomei stood up but the master held his hand, which made him stop and sit down again.

"Oyakata-sama? Is everything okay?" The hashira asked

"I just wanted to wish you good luck with the birth of your children. They are twins." The master said, shocking Gyomei

"How... How did you know?"

"I had a vision a night after you told me. I also scheduled this meeting so I could tell you this. You must take care of Y/n, she needs you. I believe you will be a good father. I trust you, Gyomei Himejima." The master said with a proud smile and the hashira was soon moved

"Thank you, oyakata-sama!" He knelt and bowed in respect. "I will pray for your health."

"Thank you."

When he got home, Gyomei heard screams coming from the bedroom and immediately thought the worst. He followed the sound of the screams of pain and reached the bedroom where you were crying.

"Y/N!? What's going on?" He asked, approaching the bed

"Gyomei... Help me...it's now." Your words came out between sobs and moans of pain, unable to form a plausible sentence, but he soon realized what it was about

"I'm going to take you to the butterfly mansion. Let's go." He carried your body in his arms and left the house

The entire butterfly mansion was shocked when they saw the stone hashira come running in with you in his arms.

It was a difficult time, with a lot of pain, crying, and emotion. Gyomei didn't let go of your hand for a single moment. Bringing two boys into the world caused you a lot of pain and he could feel it in the way you held his hand tightly.

The master was right, they were twin boys and according to Shinobu, both were in good health. He felt great relief in his heart for them, but those tears he was shedding were not only from emotion for the birth of the boys but also from pity for you for having gone through all that.

You slowly turned your head to the side to see your husband crying and holding your hand. He was your greatest support throughout that special moment and his affection and care made you love him even more.

"Honey, it's okay." You spoke softly, without strength, but he raised his head enough for you to bring your fingers to his face and wipe his tears as you always did, even when he cried over small things."I'm a little weak but... I did my best to bring our boys into this world. After all, they were two little boys... they will be strong like their father." You smiled and he smiled back

"Thank you for being so strong during all this time, I will do my best for you and for them." Gyomei said, leaning in and kissing you

His kisses were always slow and very soft, coming with a lot of love and affection.

"I love you." You whispered against his lips

Shinobu entered the room with the newborns in her arms and blush when she saw you two so close.

"Am I interrupting something?" She giggled

"Oh, no, it's okay." You stated, feeling your cheeks turning red

"I just came to give you what's yours. Your cute little boys." She said, handing the boys into your arms

"My beautiful boys." You said, tears of joy fall as you picked up the little ones. "I love you two."

"Y/n, can I hold them?" Gyomei asked

"Of course you can." You handed them to him and he held them as if they were made of glass

That man's hands were strong enough to destroy a demon, but at that moment they felt like velvet, holding something as innocent as a baby.

He cried so much because his blindness couldn't allow him to see their faces, but at the same time, the feeling of having them in his hands made his heart explode with joy.

"I can't see them but I can tell they are two wonderful blessings." He said and you smiled at how tiny they looked in his hands.

"They'll be as proud of you as I am, Gyomei." You said, kissing his forehead where his scar was. "You'll be a good father."

"And you'll be a wonderful mother."

[27dragons]

Hiii I‘ve been loving seeing you more on my dash lately, been following you and reading your fics for like six years now and truly no one else’s works have filled my bookmarks as much as yours (and Tisfans of course).

One of yours was the very first winteriron fic I ever read and it had me fall in love instantly, haven’t found anything else like them since. I love that you found your writing muse again, and I know it’s been a long time and a lot of the fandom has fizzled out. But I just wanted to pop in an ask if maybe one day you could see yourself writing MCU again?

In any case, it’s been a lot of lovely years with your writing and you’ll make (and are making) a lot of other new people incredibly happy with your amazing skill and talent for words, worldbuilding and characterisation <3

Hey there! I'm so delighted that you've enjoyed my fics so much!!! It really means a lot to me.

The tldr is that yes, there's at least a slim chance that I might write winteriron/MCU again one day. There is a whole stack of partially-written WIPs still in my writing folder that I can't bring myself to archive and retire.

I'll admit that my enthusiasm for MCU faded a lot when they killed Tony off. And then a massive surge in my depression (thanks in part to COVID and then tisfan's death and then my mom's) all but extinguished my ability to write. I had a creative burst for about 3 months in 2023 with Sandman and the Dreamling ship that resulted in about a dozen fics, but the one fic that I managed to write in 2024 (which was winteriron!) felt like pulling teeth to finish.

But I'm still reading some winteriron fics (and the occasional stony), so it's not entirely dead to me. (For that matter, I did quite a few winteriron/MCU ficlets with my Countdowns here on tumblr in both '23 and '24 - check my "countdown to 2024" and "countdown to 2025" tags if you missed those.)

It's just that winteriron is closely tied to tisfan for me (even before we were writing together, she was always my beta reader), and it's hard to think about it without her. (Also, I've written SO MUCH winteriron, it's hard to come up with any scenarios that I haven't already done, lol)

The Arcane/Jayvik bug has bitten hard, and it's such a relief to know that I can still write, but I'm still waiting to see if this will fizzle out again after a few months like the Dreamling stuff did.

If I do keep writing, there's a pretty decent chance that I will eventually come back to winteriron, at least occasionally. If nothing else, I'd love to one day finish the fic that tisfan and I were working on when she had her stroke.

But I expect it will take a while. If you asked because you're considering unfollowing/unsubscribing so your inbox and dash aren't cluttered with notifications for a fandom you have no interest in, then I promise I won't be offended if you want to do that and just set yourself a reminder to check back in a year to see what happened. I've made that decision myself a few times, and I know it comes with a sliver of heartbreak and guilt. But I understand that not everyone will want to follow me everywhere that I go, and that in no way diminishes my appreciation for the love you've given my fics in the past, whether you just clicked kudos or left a comment on every chapter.

Thank you again for this very kind note. I'm so happy to have given you something you've enjoyed so much.

❤️💛

[blitzynatural]

SWEET LIKE A PASTRY

Belated FLUFFEBRUARY DAY 7 - LOVE NOTES/LETTERS

@bucktommyfluffebruary

Read on ao3

FLUFFEBRUARY DAY 7 - LOVE NOTES/LETTERS

 

“Kinard! Someone dropped this off for you.” 

Tommy had barely just made it out of the chopper when one of his team members gleefully called him over to the communal table and gestured at a paper bag he recognized coming from one of his favorite coffee places. His heart skipped a few beats and he could feel his face flush. Evan had been here. Evan who he hadn't seen since they had parted ways the previous night the day after Howie and Maddie's wedding. 

“Was it the boyfriend?” Lucy trots past Tommy from where she had followed him after exiting the chopper with him. “Oooh, what was he like? Was he cute?” 

Tommy rolls his eyes fondly. He has been keeping things on the down-low when it came to Evan as they were still in the early stages of dating, much to the dismay of his nosy coworkers. 

“How long ago was this?” He asks, ignoring the bombarding of questions coming from Lucy. He sits down and pulls the paper bag towards him, immediately feeling the delicious scent of a freshly baked pastry hitting his nostrils and summoning his hunger for something sweet. 

“Must have been about half-an hour ago,” Holler responds. “There is something familiar about him. What station did you say he was from again?” 

“I didn't,” Tommy deadpans. He grins in amusement. “That was a smooth attempt though. A for effort.” 

“Ugh! Why won't you tell us anything? You suck,” Lucy complains and turns to look at Holler accusingly. “Tell me you got a picture! Or a name at least.” 

Holler shakes his head. “Nah! But he left a note! It's right there. Very cheesy, but–” 

“You read my note? Damnit, Holler, you nosy dog.” Tommy shakes his head and reaches for the note. He recognizes Evan's hand writing as he reads: 

A hard-working man such as yourself deserves a sweet treat. Think of me when you bite into it. I bought it with extra care. ♡ - Your E. 

P.S I made sure they got the coffee order right this time. 

P.S Again. If you notice there is a hoodie missing from your locker, it's all in your imagination. 

The last part had been added and scribbled with an extra pen, it seemed. Regardless, the note made Tommy heat up a little but he puts his mask on by clearing his throat and folds the note before he tucks it into his pocket. 

“Holler”, he says, eyes scanning the table. “Where is the coffee?” 

His team mate swallows. “Uh, coffee? I see no coffee. There was no coffee.” 

“Really, Holler?”

“It was getting cold! It would be such a waste of coffee. But it was really good.” 

Tommy sighs and shakes his head. “Well then. I'll give Evan your heartfelt thanks for the coffee for you,” he says and fishes out his phone from his pocket. 

“Evan! Ha! We got a name!” 

“I've never hidden his name, Lucy.”

“I am serious about him looking familiar though,” Holler says. “I know I've seen him somewhere before. I can't recall where or when, but he's got a very distinct birthmark on his eyebrow so I know I've seen him somewhere.”  

Tommy wasn't surprised by that. Evan was known to be a danger magnet and to be the talk of LAFD stations. 

“That sounds like Buckley”, Lucy says casually. “But he is as straight as they come, there's no way–” 

“Buckley! The guy who got crushed under the fire engine! That was him! Oh thank God, now I don't have to stay up thinking about where I've seen him!” Holler exclaims. 

“Wai- Buck? You are dating Buck?” Lucy turns to Tommy who is silently munching on his pastry by now while the other two are speculating. Of course he finds this amusing, and he really doesn't have a reason to hide who he is dating by now. Evan has already told him that he is fine with people outside the 118 knowing about him. That and the fact that he had left a sweet little note for all of 217 to see directed to him made Tommy all the more confident about that.

“Buckley?! Really, Kinard? You are da- wow. Okay.” 

Tommy shrugs and holds back a smile. “He told me you used to work at their station.” 

“So he's not straight.”

“I'm pretty sure he isn't,” Tommy muses. 

“Well, good for you, Kinard! What an upgrade for him! I approve.”

"Thanks?” 

“Tell him hi from me, will you?” 

“Of Course.”

[fizzing-imagines]

Hi love how you doing?

I was wondering if you could write NSFW Alphabet for Billy or Robin

- Bubbles

Hey Bubbles!! Thank you for the request! I did Billy for this one, I'll write Robin soon :) I hope you enjoy!

‼️MINORS DNI‼️

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

On the premises that you two are a couple, he does go a little soft and pulls you into his arms. Billy lights a cigarette for him, and if you smoke for you as well, and kisses the top of your head while both of you calm down. If he's been especially rough with you, he checks for any marks or bruises first so he can take care of those before laying down with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Billy Hargrove is an ass man. His hand is always on your ass in some way, may that be his hand in your backpocket or squeezing it while you're watching a movie together.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves cumming on your ass. It feels like he's truly claiming you in any way, plus, he loves your ass.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd love to have a threesome with you, but he doesn't trust other guys around you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

His bodycount is high, so is his experience. He had more to teach you than you could teach him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has two favourites - doggy and cowgirl.

Doggy because, you guessed it, he has a perfect view of your ass and can watch it bounce while he thrusts into you.

Cowgirl because he likes for you to think that you're in control, but in the end he's the one grabbing your hips and controlling your movements. Billy loves being in controll.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's rather serious. Making you and him feel good is his priority. He wouldn't get frustrated if you were to make a funny sound or if he bumped his head, but he would play it off and continue thrusting into you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He shaves. It makes him look bigger, and it makes it easier to shove his entire length down your throat.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It's kinda hard for him to be romantic in the moment. On the very rare occasion that he's feeling soft, he'll tell you how much he loves you while slowly moving inside you. But besides that, sex to him is to make both of you feel satisfied.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off a lot. That didn't die down when you two became a couple, but now he wasn't looking at his magazines anymore while pleasuring himself. He only had to think about you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Spanking and choking, occasionally both at the same time. Billy loves being in controll, and he loves how much you show your trust by letting him do that to you.

Prolly also has a thing for anal, but he doesn't know how to bring it up.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, everywhere, anytime. The back of his car is a personal favourite, especial when parked and you two could get caught.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I've said it once and I'll say it again: Your ass. The way it bounces, how your pants hug it just right, how touchable it is. God, he loves it.

He also loves your thighs. Having them around his head while he eats you out? There's barely anything better.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There's very few things he wouldn't do or try. I think his limit is at body fluids other than cum.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes giving, but loves receiving. Having you choke on his cock, with teary eyes because you're struggling to take it? Sign him up.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Billy is fast and rough. There's barely any instance that you wouldn't describe as "being fucked through the mattress". Holds you down and basically slammed into you like it's his last time ever getting to touch you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Big fan of quickies. He's had multiple with you at school, at parties, Lovers Lake, in a pool AT a party. But his favourite will be at your home, right before school.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Loves risks. If he could, he'd show everyone how good he makes you feel. Has definetly done it in the shower at school, the locker room, the pool after closing time. Anywhere he finds convenient. So what if you get caught?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Billy can go on forever. 3 extensive rounds are pretty normal for him, but he has done 4 before. If you need or want a fifth, he does need a short smoke break.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Big fan of toys. Owns a few he bought for you. Whips and ropes are a given, also has a plug for you and some dildos in various sizes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Lives to tease you. Your begging for him to stop and just fuck you already is just too cute. Teases in public, teases more in the bedroom and loves edging or denying you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He groans and commands you around. Moaning isn't really his thing, unless you're sucking him off.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Once he gets his hands on a camcorder and a polaroid, you can bet he's making multiple at-home tapes and pictures.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Above average, both in length and thickness. It's almost too big for you to handle, but Billy made sure you know how to take him. Also veiny, and when you do it raw it gives you some extra stimulation. But there's no curve, it's perfectly straight.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Has always been very high, stays really high. But now you're the lucky one who gets to be railed by him. If you're alone on the weekend, you barely get away from underneath him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a bit. Billy wants you to fall asleep before he does, so while he's stroking your head and telling you how good you did he has a cigarette or two. Stays up a bit longer after you're sleeping, but eventually does.

[dominimoonbeam]

Lonely Hearts Club - Chapter 5

I wrote something. <3

the gavin/asher/david cafe au continues.

if you want to read it from the start it's on ao3. it's also adult as shit, like almost everything i write.

tags: sex, navigating relationships, communication, new and fragile, i feel like it's been so long since i posted that i've forgotten how to do this

if you're still with me, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy it! <3

Lonely Hearts Club - Chapter 5

A -You’re still coming tonight, right?

G - I’m definitely cumming tonight

David bit the inside of his lip. He wasn't sure what he'd expected when he sent that first text two days ago but it wasn't this. He didn't always know what to say in the group chat but somehow he wasn't falling out of it either.

At first the group chat felt voyeuristic. He was watching them. They flirted and sexted. They shared pictures that were either completely innocent snaps or lewd as fuck. David had looked at them more than he'd be comfortable admitting, more than he'd ever looked at porn. Strangers had never done anything for him, but these two… 

One of the pictures had just been Gavin from chest up, sunk deep into a couch, holding his shirt up in his teeth with his eyes dark and his other arm low. Fuck. The look he'd been giving the camera…giving them.

Asher flirted but it was Gavin that nudged that flirting into full-blown sexting. And the shit Asher said… sometimes he sent audio recordings. Sometimes he was breathy and pleading, saying the best, dirty, things. But then there was the time he was quiet, breath catching, and the sound of his hand going, going, going…. And then his raspy, small voice asked if he could cum. Asked if they'd let him.

David had been stroking himself in his own living room and actually groaned. And then he realized Gavin wasn't replying. Asher was waiting. Whining. Struggling. 

It was the first time David sent an audio to anyone, but he couldn't leave him like that…and, really, he wanted to be the one who made him come apart.

That had been last night. Tonight they were actually meeting at a club. What had he gotten himself into?

Asher sent a picture of two shirts on a bed.

A - Davey?

He got a little thrill every time Asher called him that. He wasn't sure why. He'd never liked nicknames before.

D - left.

It wasn't a hard decision. But would he really go with the one David picked?

“...earth to David,” Milo called, not for the first time.

He pocketed his phone and looked up only to roll his eyes and look away when faced with Milo's grin. “Don't start.”

Milo had come by just after he started closing up the cafe. “Who you talking to?”

“No one.”

“Are you getting back together with–”

“No,” he double checked everything was turned off before grabbing his jacket and hitting the lights.

Milo nodded but added, “They seemed nice.”

David headed for the back door, his friend on his heels. “They are but I wasn't feeling it.” He deflated a little. That didn't explain it right. It didn't sound like enough. There was nothing wrong with his ex. Maybe it was him?

Milo nodded again, slower. “Okay. So…who are you talking to then?” He stopped in the doorway, preventing the heavy door from swinging shut, effectively trapping David there in the alley waiting for him.

“Who says I'm talking to anyone?”

Milo laughed. “Fair enough. I guess you could be watching porn.”

David almost smiled. Almost. It was dangerously close to the truth.

Milo stepped into the alley, the door snapping shut. He reached back and tried the handle to make sure it was locked on second nature. “Do you want to come over tonight and watch the game with us?”

“I'm busy.”

Milo blinked. “With what?”

David ignored his stare. “I'm going out with some…friends.” Oh, that didn't sound right. His phone burned against his thigh. Those were not friend texts… 

“Who?” Milo wasn't smiling anymore.

“Seriously?” David snorted, fishing his keys out of his pocket. Milo’s bike was in the shop so David had offered to give him a ride home. 

“Where do you know these people from?”

Oh shit. Milo was really digging in. “The cafe.”

“Where are you going with them?”

“Out.” David unlocked his truck and got in the driver's seat.

Milo opened the passenger door but stood there and frowned at him.

David laughed. “Really? What are you getting worried about?”

Milo blustered and jumped in. “You can't just go out with some strangers without telling anyone who you're going with or where! What if something happens?”

David started the engine and tried not to think about all the things he hoped would happen. “What? You think someone's going to kidnap me? Fucking look at me, Milo.”

“I'm looking,” Milo said, dead serious.

David stared back. No one but Milo would worry about David's safety like this. “I'll tell you where I'm going if you promise not to go or talk about it anymore.”

“Deal.”

Fuck. “Crush.”

Milo stared. “You said you hate that place.”

“You agreed not to talk about it.” He pulled away from the curb and into slow traffic.

“You said it was a meat market. You said the music was shit and too loud!”

“You're too loud but I'm here, aren't I?”

They both went quiet for a stretch.

He took a right.

“Are you still coming to my dad's for dinner Sunday?” David asked.

“Of course,” Milo answered without pause. It was basically a family thing. Their parents had been friends for as long as either of them could remember. “Are you bringing your…friends?”

David groaned. “You said we wouldn't talk about it…”

“I said we wouldn't talk about the club.”

“Which we immediately did…”

-

Gavin met Asher in line for the club. It was the first time they'd met in person since he took him home earlier that week and they spent the whole night together. It was dawn by the time Asher left and, even then, the only reason he'd had to go was because he had work.

Gavin liked people, but this was different. He couldn't get enough of Asher and now David was in the mix too. He hoped David showed up tonight.

Asher beamed when we saw him, immediately offering a hug that Gavin was more than happy to accept. The night wasn't too cold, which was good since Ash was only wearing that tank top David picked out. 

Gavin had at least worn something with sleeves…even if they were sheer.

They exchanged smalltalk in line but Asher seemed half focused.

“Are you worried he won’t show?” Gavin grinned and then added, “Or worried he will?”

Asher turned toward him. “What? No. I’m not worried!”

Gavin nodded but he could see how wound his friend was. He brushed his hand against Asher’s. It was simple enough that it could be ignored as an accident. As much as he wanted to touch him, as much as he always wanted to be touching Asher, Gavin wasn’t exactly sure what the rules were here. Yes, at some point tonight they would be dancing and at some point there would probably be a lot of touching, but they were still in the line outside and they were, afterall, friends.

Asher’s hand automatically pushed back into his, turning to lace fingers even while his big eyes still darted around at all the other people on the sidewalk.

Gavin smiled and took a step closer, pressing right against Asher’s side. He loved the way the other man visibly relaxed at that pressure. He slid a hand against the low of his back. “Tell me why you’re nervous?”

Asher looked back at him, surprise written across his face. Asher was a delight to watch–his reactions and feelings constantly cascading across his features. But being able to see his emotions did not mean Gavin could read his mind. “I’m not.”

Gavin waited.

Asher exhaled and smiled. “I don’t know. Overthinking?”

Gavin nodded, dropping his head to place a kiss on the other man’s shoulder. “How about this,” he said, as they shuffled a step closer to the entrance. “We go inside, have a couple drinks, dance until we’re both so hard we can’t stand it…”

Asher smiled.

“We’ll meet David if he shows, if he doesn’t that’s okay. And when we’re ready to go, if you need more time or if you don’t want to fuck for whatever reason, you say something about how you’re starving.”

Asher laughed, shooting him a look. “Yeah? And then you’ll tell me you’ve got a big–”

“No,” Gavin laughed too but shook his head, holding the other man’s gaze. “You say you’re hungry, and I’ll take us to a diner instead. We can cool down and you can decide if you want to go home with us both, just me, or on your own.”

Asher’s joking smile fell into something sincere. Surprise? Relief? He relaxed and nodded, and then added, “Assuming David even shows.”

“Assuming that.”

“And if he does, it doesn’t mean he’s going to want to…”

Gavin laughed again. “You wore a tank top that’s more holes than fabric and jeans so tight I can see your dick, he’s definitely going to want to.”

Asher blushed and inhaled, ready to argue, but the bouncer waved them through and whatever nonsense about those pants not being that tight was lost in the pulse of music.

[shatcey]

༺ ƇꓴƬƸ ƓⱤꓴ𐒄ꝒƳ Ƈ𐤠Ƭ༻

Part 1 ~~~ Part2 ~~~ Part3

It was unexpected. I didn't plan on writing this, but the scene popped into my head so well that I decided to write it. It's just jokes and teasing. I'm not particularly happy with the voices of the characters. But… this is the best I could do in such a short period of time. I hope the next part will sound much better. Kate/Alfons/Victor. Around 1300 words.

ALFONS!!!

I stand in the parlor and think about what else I can do if he doesn't show up. I really need his advice. More than anyone else. But lately he's been playing hide and seek with me more often. And I'm definitely losing.

It all started a few days ago when Ally unexpectedly dropped that Victor's birthday is nearby. He didn't mean anything by it… just some random thought of his. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Victor has done so much for me and the whole Crown, and I really want to give him the best gift. But… what can I give him that he can't get on his own? What makes him happy at all?

I thought about it over and over again and realized that I needed help. So… I decided to ask Ally. But… he suddenly disappeared. He likes to play this game from time to time. But it's usually not that hard to find. It feels like he's deliberately hiding from me. Odd…

The voice of my beloved brings me back to the real world.

Could you stop doing that?

I turned to him and was surprised to see that he was extremely serious. Not typical at all.

What?

Shouting my name throughout the castle.

I blink in surprise.

Why? It's more effective than running around looking for you.

Are you so sure I'll come to you next time?

I don’t know. But you did it… several times already…

He took a deep breath and sank into the nearest chair. I moved closer to him.

I need your help with…

No!

Hey! I haven't even finished.

No, I'm not going to help you find a present for Victor.

How does he know? I wasn't talking in my sleep, was I?

Why not?

You really don't understand?

What?

With an exaggerated sigh, he got up, went to the bar and poured two glasses of alcohol, muttering to himself.

How did I manage to get stuck with you of all people?

I showed the wonders of acute hearing.

You are lucky.

He turned to me with two glasses in his hands and, meeting my gaze, raised an eyebrow.

Not a hint of sarcasm.

Why should it be sarcasm?

He smirked and held out his hand with the glass in a silent offer. I take it without any questions.

Don't you think we should discuss something that's going to happen… before Victor's birthday?

Hah?

Alfons sits down in a chair and pats his knee in an inviting gesture. I completely ignore this and take another chair.

Really? How could the woman forgotten about Valentine's Day?

Oh, right… I've never had anyone I could be with…

Well, I have now! So… do you have any plans?

In fact, I do.

Aaaaaah…. Then there's nothing to discuss.

Back to Vivi!

You don't know when to stop, do you?

You knew that from the beginning.

Unbelievable…

Ally shook his head exaggeratedly. Oh, my drama queen! I took this as a sign to continue.

I've been thinking about it for a long time… and I couldn't think of anything special. So I need your very versatile brain.

Excuse me?

It was a compliment.

Alfons opened his mouth to say something...

I was thinking about how busy he is.…

Well… he's the queen's aid. Of course he's busy. I don't envy him.

So… maybe we could ask the Queen to give him a day off?

Blank expression.

Really?

Well… a day off is a good start, isn't it? He'll be happy.

He takes a sip and looks at me with a strange mixture of pity and adoration.

Do you really think you can meet the queen on a whim? And besides… I highly doubt she'll grant your wish…

Oh…

He's right. It's not that simple. I should have thought of this much earlier. Even if I ask William for help.… No, I will never ask him. I still feel uncomfortable around him… Those eyes… no! Don't think about the eyes!!!

Oh, my cute Alfons and my cute Robin. Have you discussed me?

I jump at the sound of such a familiar voice, as if my thoughts about him summoned this very person. I scream reflexively:

NO!

Alfons snorted and took a long drink from his glass.

I came to my senses, cleared my throat and answered calmly.

We discussed… I almost said St. Patrick's Day... no, it's too early for that... Valentine's day.

Awww… I love St. Patrick's Day!

So am I! It's so bright and fun.

Victor and I smile happily at each other.

You haven't forgotten that I'm standing next to you, have you?

I turn my gaze to my lover and smile reassuringly.

Of course not, Ally. How could I?

I definitely forgot. How could I forget? His eyes are to blame… they seem to hypnotize, attract all my attention. I can't help myself. Victor looks at Alfons and smiles to himself, as if made up with something.

Valentine's Day, you say… Could you include me in your plans?

Victor smiles radiantly, as if it's perfectly normal to interfere with dates. I don't remember him ever being that… tactless.

Absolutely not. It's a lovers day.

I don't think it's a good idea either… but if we spent some time together, maybe it would give me some clues.…

But that would be so lovely… We could bake something together and…

No, really…. you two are something else!

Well, thank you.

Awww, it’s so sweet of you to say…

…Unbelievable…

He put the empty glass on the table and leaned back in his chair, as if saying that he was not going to continue this conversation.

So… What plans do you have in mind?

I don't know. Ally didn't tell me about them…

But my words made him change his mind. With a note irritation in his voice, he said

Are you seriously considering including him to our Valentine's date?

Aaaaa…

Why? No, really... I don't understand how… What have I done in my life to deserve you?

You’re so sweet…

 It wasn't a…

Awwww… I can endlessly look at these chirping lovebirds.

We answered at the same time.

He's not a bird. He's a cat!

She's not a bird. She's a cat!

Pause. Alfons and I look at each other.

I'm not a cat!

You most definitely are.

Of course you are, my dear.

I look from one smiling face to the other and growl angrily.

You've got to be kidding!

Such an adorable grumpy cat… I really like ruffling your fur.

Victor reached out to tousle my hair, but Ally stopped him in his tracks.

Vivi!

And when she looks so angry… this is a sign that you need to tease her even more.

Alfons!

Not Ally?

No. Alfons.

Oh… she IS angry.

So cute…

Alfons tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His touch was no lighter than a feather, but it didn't have the usual effect on me.

How peculiar. You look like you're about to start biting.

You understand cats so well…

Oh, now you admit it?

I'm not a cat! Damn you!

Why are they doing this to me? I'm not a cat. Nothing alike!

I hate! Both of you!

I turn around and run away from these terrible men

As soon as she was out of earshot, Victor's ever present smile disappeared. His eyes are darkening, as if the last specks of light have been absorbed into them, and even his face looks sharper than usual. Alfons smirk at this metamorphosis.

So… what did she suggest?

Nothing. She has no idea, so she asked me.

Victor smiles tenderly and adds barely audibly

...Cute...

Don't you think you could help her?

Why? I'm a real villain…

Besides...

You don't want her to become even more interested in me, do you?

Alfons didn't answer deep in thought.

These two will be the death of mine. In a more sense than one.

Part 1 ~~~ Part2 ~~~ Part3

dividers by thecutestgrotto

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[larrylimericks]

20Nov24

The thing that could always bring gladness Will now surely always bring sadness. Four men in black dress Laid their brother to rest. Liam’s gone? What the fuck is this madness?

[ghostofsnails]

so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

[deoidesign]

.

[silusvesuius]

unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

[imminent-danger-came]

I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.

First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.

Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.

Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.

[rosalind-hawkins]

What Do I Ship?

Don't mistake this for a tolerance or tier list. I will read and write ships that aren't even on this list, or write ships from the secondary list sometimes, this is just to give you a general sense of the stuff I mainly support/think about and in what capacity. Might be updated periodically. Ranting and comments in the tags.

Re: the Mokuba ships, I only ship them in non-problematic ways, where either the Kaiba brothers are ageswapped, making Mokuba the same age as the rest of the main cast, or where they only get together far post-canon where Mokuba's an adult. We cool? Cool.

Primary Ships

(things I can/want to create content for; this does not include every ship I've ever written, just the ones I care about/are currently engaged in writing/plan to write multiple fics for, or ships I just stan in a way that I know it'll never end)

Euroshipping (Kaiba x Ryou)

Puppyshipping (Joey x Kaiba)

Mumbleshipping (Kaiba x Ryou x Duke)

Teaseshipping (Joey x Ryou x Kaiba)

Snareshipping (Joey x Duke)

Trustshipping (Kaiba x Ishizu)

Polarshipping (Joey x Mai)

Blueshipping (Kisara x Kaiba)

Mizushipping (Kisara x Priest Seto)

Minorshipping (Ryou x Duke)

Mastershipping (Duke x Kaiba)

Puffshipping (Joey x Ryou)

Sweetshipping (Ryou x Mokuba)

Wintershipping (Mokuba x Amane)

Rollshipping (Duke x Ryou x Joey)

Secondary Ships

(things I will read but I don't write {much, or anymore, in some cases} for one reason or other)

Wishshipping (Joey x Yugi)

Powershipping (Kaiba x Marik)

Graceshipping (Ishizu x Ryou)

Doubtshipping (Kaiba x Ryou x Marik)

Petshipping (Duke x Kaiba x Joey)

Axisshipping (Kaiba x Siegfried)

Angstshipping (Ryou x Marik)

Irateshipping (Marik x Joey)

Buddyshipping (Joey x Tristan)

Heartshipping (Yugi x Ryou)

Fragileshipping (Yami Yugi x Ryou)

Changeshipping (Duke x Marik)

Logicshipping (Priest Seto x Priestess Isis)

Gemshipping (Ryou x Thief King Bakura)

Thiefshipping (Yami Bakura x Marik)

Candleshipping (Kaiba x Ryou x Yami Bakura)

Antagoshipping (Kaiba x Yami Bakura)

Corruptshipping (Priest Seto x Thief King Bakura)

Stoicshipping (Kaiba x Priest Seto)

Shimmershipping (Duke x Mokuba)

Guardshipping (Kaiba x Roland)

Senetshipping (Ishizu x Duke)

Angelicshipping (Ryou x Rafael)

Mercuryshipping (Kisara x Kaiba x Ishizu)

Entrepreneurshipping (Duke x Kaiba x Siegfried)

Unnamed (Aigami x Marik x Yami Bakura)

Scholarshipping (Kaiba x Ishizu x Ryou)

There's also plenty of random unnamed poly ships that I want to play around with in one-shots, usually a combo of my top six fave characters.