#i've definitely posted about this sort of thing and i do keep trying and following people's advice about music but my brain just

[umbracirrus]

Everyone with their songs for their OCs and ships, then there's me with my zero taste in music who basically only listens to the skyrim/oblivion soundtrack 99% of the time and has no idea how people can do that- 😭

[galacticlamps]

I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:

a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular

And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:

b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with

So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!

That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3

[floralcyanide]

ʙᴏʙʙʏ's ɢɪʀʟ

(joe rantz x fem!reader)

Joe has a major crush on you, but you're Bobby's girl. Or so he thinks.

✣ warnings: cursing, mentions of fighting

✣ word count: 1.4k

✣ author’s note: I wish I had more time to work on this, but I've been busy with work, and a friend has been in town so ): I will definitely post more Joe though. hopefully it'll be better quality lol I just wasn't sure of what to write for Joe specifically so this is sort of a brain dump.

masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

Joe Rantz has a major crush on you, but you’re Bobby’s girl- or that’s what he thought. 

The first time Joe sees you is when the team meets Bobby, their new coxswain. You had tagged along as you followed Bobby everywhere he went, as he did you. The two of you were as thick as thieves. It made Joe a little jealous because he thought you were attractive, and Bobby didn’t seem like the type to have a girl on his arm all the time. Don’t get him wrong, Joe respects Bobby. But he seemed more focused on other things rather than dating. Joe watched you that whole day when his attention wasn’t on rowing. As the weeks of practice continued, the more the boys got to know you. Plus, the more they improved, the more you cheered them on. You took pride in getting the boys in the boat to do better than before. And the more you pushed them from the dock, much like Bobby did in his seat, the more they showed out for you, especially Joe. Joe would catch you smiling at him, and he’d smile back but would quickly recover. You’re Bobby’s girl.

After the team’s first win, you’re glued to Bobby’s side at the celebratory party. Joe tries to keep his eyes off you and your stunning outfit but fails most of the night. At one point, you separate from Bobby to converse with Don and Chuck for a little while. Then, you find Joe, who is tucked away in the back of the gymnasium. He quickly looked away from you, not to give himself away.

“Enjoying the party?” you ask, nursing your punch glass.

“Not really my scene,” Joe shrugs.

“Oh,” you nod, “What is your scene, then?”

“The library, usually. Or the boat, of course.”

“I’d say so. You’re great at rowing. I love watching you all.”

Joe blushes at that, “I’m glad.”

Suddenly, Bobby pulls the needle off the record player on stage, forcibly introducing Don as the live music for the night. You and Joe watch, amused, as the boys shove Don across the stage and to the piano bench. Don dug his heels into the stage floor the best he could, to no avail. He nervously looks out at the crowd before beginning to play. 

“Wanna dance?” you ask Joe.

He hesitates for a moment before answering, “Sure.”

The two of you dance along to the music, singing along as well. Joe tries not to let himself get too deep in his head about how close you are to him. You sense this, trying not to get too handsy despite your inner desire to. You leave room between the two of you for it to be casual. When the song ends, you kiss Joe on the cheek and go to find Bobby. Joe’s cheek burns the rest of the night as he reaches up to brush his fingers across it a few times. He wanted to make sure what had happened was real.

Bobby encourages you to tag along with the team to the East Coast. This race was significant for the boys and would throw them off if you weren’t there. Bobby especially- Joe even more. On the train there, you sit with Bobby. You’re mid-conversation about the paper he’s reading when suddenly, Joe lunges at Chuck. You hurry to stand from your seat and pull them apart, following Joe to the other side of the train when he hurries away from the group.

You stand there momentarily as Joe catches his breath, his face beet red.

“What was that all about?”

Joe brushes you off, not making eye contact. You sigh and sit next to him.

“Chuck probably didn’t mean it like that, Joe,” you put a hand on his shoulder, “Even if he did, you know his jokes are shit anyway.”

Joe cracks a smile at that, glancing over at you without moving his head, “Yeah.”

Before you can say anything else, Chuck comes to apologize, and you get up and leave them to it. When you return to your seat, Bobby is smirking knowingly.

“What?” you ask, already knowing what’s gonna come out of his mouth.

“Nothing,” Bobby says, returning his eyes to the paper he was still reading.

“Just say it,” you sigh.

“You guys should kiss already.”

You snort, “I don’t think Joe likes me like that, Bobby.”

“It’s so obvious,” Bobby slams his paper down on his lap, “He’s so obvious, you’re so obvious. Just get together!”

But of course, it’s not that easy. Joe keeps his distance, so you keep yours out of respect for him. 

Securing the win to head to the Olympics meant preparing to go to Berlin. So, training and practice is never-ending. The stress is, too, and it bleeds into you and Bobby’s usually chill dynamic.

Everyone had already left the gymnasium except Joe one day after strenuous practice. He decided to piddle around for a little while. He had nowhere else to be, anyway. Joe sees you and Bobby getting into it by the boat and hangs back to eavesdrop.

“You have got to get your head in the game, Bobby! Stop worrying about everything else and keep your focus on the team.”

“It’s kind of hard when he’s making mistakes because he can’t stop thinking about you. It’s becoming a problem, and I think you need to fix it.”

Joe’s ears perk up at that. He couldn’t possibly be talking about him, right? That’s when you shove Bobby into the water. You wish he’d realize it isn’t that easy to solve.

Bobby resurfaces, pushing his hair from his eyes, “You bitch!” he squeaks in shock.

You start laughing like a maniac at his expression, and Joe is left wondering what is really going on between you and Bobby.

“What’s going on here?” Joe steps out, walks to the dock, and offers Bobby a hand from the water.

“Typical sibling banter,” you wave Joe off.

��Sibling?”

“Yeah,” you say, “I’m Bobby’s adopted sister.”

Joe’s face is one of shock. Bobby is behind the blonde, keeping him from throwing you into the water next. 

“Makes sense now,” Joe chuckles, blocking Bobby, “If I were you, I’d skedaddle.”

You make a run for the gymnasium quickly, Bobby trailing just a little behind. Joe shakes his head, relieved that you aren't Bobby’s girl. From then on, he paid more attention during practice now that he wasn’t plagued with thoughts of you and Bobby together.

The Olympics come quickly, and you’re nearly as nervous as Bobby. Berlin is an interesting sight, considering every surface is covered in Nazi propaganda. You can sense Bobby’s nervousness about it and try your best to ease him. Being someone of Jewish descent in a place like this was not easy. Don isn’t doing too well health-wise when you all arrive and skips out on the opening ceremony. You watch the USA walk with pride from the stands, your eyes on Joe the whole time.

You’re a ball of nerves during the qualifying race, but of course, that goes away when Bobby pulls his magic stunt, and the boys win yet again, making an Olympic record.  You’re beyond proud and can’t wait for how they compete for Gold.

The day comes for the final race, and when Bobby starts off delayed, your heart jumps out of your body. You’re on pins and needles the whole time, urging the boys to push. When the results of who won aren’t immediately apparent, you hold your breath and hope and pray, even, that your boys won. And sure enough, the USA takes the gold. You shoot up from your seat, cheering louder than anyone else around. When you finally are able to meet up with the team, you slam into Bobby full force in a bone-crushing hug.

When you pull away, Joe immediately approaches you and wraps his arms around you. 

“You did it!” you grin. 

“We did it,” Joe smiles, “But we couldn’t have done it without you and Bobby.”

You and Joe stare at each other momentarily, and Joe seems to be deep in thought about something. 

“Just kiss me, Joe,” you blurt, your arms still around his neck.

Joe throws caution to the wind and kisses you in front of the whole world, finally able to breathe with you pressed against him. The boys cheer, and Bobby stands there with his arms crossed, shaking his head with a smile. Finally, you have taken your leap of faith. But you were a stubborn Moch, after all.

[travelersspark]

IM BACK! 🌟

Literally when on break since I've been busy with college and work😅. Now I can get back into the swing of things ! Since I'm here , might as well make a new headcanons post ~♡

𝑷𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝑻𝑳𝑲 .ᐟ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝑮𝑵.ᐟ𝑯𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

𝑶𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒔

First off. Cayde had a meeting with you at your local job. You and Cayde were close since he practically raised you along with Tessa . You were running late and Cayde was inside Optimus. Optimus had heard about you but never thought much about it.

He'd ask about you to Cayde and Cayde talked fondly of you so Optimus could sort of trust you. So could Cayde. Hence why he was gonna finally explain to you whats been going on for the past year.

Of course you are insanely confused when you get in the truck and Cayde starts being cryptic saying. “ Y/N. You know you can trust me right ? I would always tell you if somethings up.. ” -Cayde

You are dumbfounded at first while the silent drive fills the cabin with awkwardness. Then it hit you. “ Have you been looking for girls on tinder Cayde?! God I swear - ” - Y/N.

Facepalm from Cayde. Optimus almost laughed in his alt form but Cayde coughs before having to disprove your idiotic suspicion. He basically rushes an explanation of the autobots and decepticons and everything that has happened for the past year since you haven't really seen him.

Annnnnnnnndddd. Your not buying it. After the drive he tries explaining more but you brush it off basically just tired from work and chalking up his excuses to him being tired and or drunk.

Well.. until you see a group of vehicles strolling around and stopping with their headlights nearly blinding you (Kind of like the introduction the team from TF1) and with some loud noises and rumbling. You see them. Giant robots standing among you.

You Fucking FREAK. Definitely bout to be ready to throw some shit. Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK CAYDE ! Cayde has to mostly calm you down as well as Optimus surprisingly trying as well explaining that they would never hurt you.

After a couple of minutes of losing your shit. Optimus introduced himself explain his motives and his following. Your still apprehensive but sort of star struck. Ootimus's voice and tone was totally different than his remorseful and sort of stern tone. It even surprised Cayde.

Optimus certainly finds you intriguing due to the stories Cayde told him Since you now know of thier existence they have to basically become your body guards in a sense. You don't mind it but you still have your worries. Mostly about the part with the decepticons.

He reassures that he would do anything to try and keep you and the other humans safe.

A couple of banter from the crew but with one Stern glance of Optimus they shut it.

You two might have a quite interesting partnership - in a good way.

𝑩𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒆𝒆

oh. This mute bot is EXCITED to meet you ! He was the first one to transform and show himself to you after optimus.

Kind of flustered and worried when you lost your cool about seeing them. But after he calms his excitement and lets his leader explain himself.

He flashes his sick moves which makes you smile and laugh a bit. He gladly would do it again to make you smile.

Bee is one of the first bots you considerably found yourself talking to.

When you found out he couldn't speak like the others and communicated through a radio, you though he was quite a special bot.

He's like you in a way. You to pair together so well. Bee thinks of you like his old partner Sam.

Oh. He can get protective of you. Mainly when Crosshairs or Hot Rod get a bit flirtatious or silly around you.

Casually offers a drive after a few hours of meeting which you don't really refuse. You had to admit. He was a dream ride of yours.

Its love at first sight in his eyes. He already finds himself crushing on you from day one. And he hopes that you stick around with him.

𝑪𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔

God another Squishy thing?! Let's just say he wasn't amused.

Well until you basically cursed the hell out of Cayde. Now he's impressed

Now he's made it his mission to figure out what makes you tic.

Weirdly he can he either considerate or just a complete jerk. But a loveable one at that.

He finds himself always trying to be flirtatious with you. But when you do it back he gets completely flustered and curses you out (his love language according to drift)

Fights about the miniscule things with you. Like if you eat in his alt form and there's a crumb he's gonna scold you.

Never saw himself being friends with a human but he would definitely enjoy his company with you.

First meeting him he is pretty serious about not wanting you around a bit but it shifts to wanting to hang with you more.

You two are FUCKIN GREMLINS TOGETHER. yall annoy the hell out of optimus and cade at times. God you two are a mess

Starts out as not being protective of you to being ULTRA protective. Mans always worried about you but tries to play it off.

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝑹𝒐𝒅

Omg him and Bumblebee fell HARD for you when Cade introduced you to the crew. Literally he couldn't stop gawking at you.

Already trying to one up everyone else with his flirtatious and suave energy.

Placed a bet with bee to see if you'd like him more.

First to offer you rides from work, school or whatever. (He figured you showing up in his alt form would make you popular or cool. And he wasn't wrong either.)

Immediately asks Optimus to assign him as your guardian. Let me tell you, he is smitten by you and in the best way possible.

Says small pet names in french

Arrogant little bastard. Can't take any hints when you need space.

Overall hes just wanting time with you but doesn't exactly understand the idea of patience is a virtue.

𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅

Another human huh. Cool, hope they useful type energy.

Hes pretty chill about it to be honest. Definitely hesitant at the idea but understand where Cade is coming from.

Would personally introduce himself to you if you find him a bit intimidated. Secretly he's a big softie and jokes terrible behind closed doors.

Once he finds out you are just as handy as Cade is hes all over you. Don't expect him.to leave you alone with random weapon scraps and ideas he has in his head.

Probably would take you out to test some grenades with him or something.

Pretty protective on first meet. Mostly since he knows he can keep you safe with his experience and skills in war.

If you don't like the sight of anything remotely similar to cigars and smoke. He would actually stop puffing his bullet in front of you out of respect.

Doesn't care much about your habits as long as you don't get your ass in trouble that is.

Not the type to drive you around since he's a big ass military vehicle and that would definitely cause alot of suspicions.

𝑫𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕

Not bothered but skeptical of your arrival. Let's just say he isn't too fond of the idea of another human around

Probably would discuss his concerns to cade and optimus about the risks but would be told that it was mostly for the best.

He gives up and pretends you just another one of the bots.

Pretty distant at first since he's still weary of you.

But if you compliment him during training of something and use the right terminology of the kata forms and martial arts he will definitely open up to you.

He appreciates someone who can understand his dedication. As well as someone educated in the sacred arts of Japanese and Chinese traditions.

Offers meditation lessons after some time if you are willing to do so.

Silent but deadly type of protective.

Has fought with crosshairs one time.when he was picking on you.

Very tsundere at first but overall he knows you are a good person and wouldn't mind getting to learn more about you

[skibasyndrome]

why are your kinktober stories all bottom Simon heavy? I trusted we would see more bottom Wille from you /gen

Anon, up front, genuinely sorry if you meant well and are now about to get the brunt of my frustration that I've built up for over a decade of existing in fandoms and fanfic spaces surrounding queer men and their sex.

Ooookay, I try not to engage in this discourse normally because frankly? It's kinda draining, because the way queer men's sex lifes are picked apart in lots of online spaces is not okay and, frankly, hurtful. But, okay:

I have posted 10 of 31 stories

I intentionally don't tag any of my smut as top!/bottom! anything (tho I don't mind other writers doing it - go off) cause frankly? I don't believe that's something that should matter. It doesn't to me when I think of wilmon. Preferences are fine, cool, awesome, both irl and in reading, there are couples who like to do things one way only and there are couples who mix things up and there's lots of stuff in between. People love to bottom! People love to top! People love any- and everything in between and that is great for them. All of that is fun and cool and absolutely awesome if everyone involved is on board. I simply don't have any one way I headcanon wilmon, I literally just go with whatever the vibe is. That also means I don't believe in having to strike a 50/50 balance or whatever. Also because

sex between men (and, since in one of the stories Wille is a trans woman, between all people, for that matter) is about more than anal and/or penetration. I love to read and write about Wille bottoming, love to write and read about Simon bottoming. But that's noooooot all there is. One thing I do try to do with my smut is write about some of the other ways sex can look. Which includes (mutual) masturbation, hand jobs, blow jobs, intercrural, frottage, a myriad of other acts. All of these are fullfilling ways of having sex, all of these don't follow top/bottom "logic" or whatever you'd like to call it. So what do we do about that?

I know some people - not saying you do, this, anon - like to conflate topping and bottoming with power dynamics, be it sub/dom type of stuff, or just... some vague idea of who is superior or whatever. And that very much CAN be the case, I'd argue Wille bottoming in my vampire fic or even Wille during the wax play in the one fic and the intercrural afterwards is definitely bordering sub-y territory. But you know? That also very much doesn't have to be the case. In the fic that includes 69 it's Simon "calling the shots" or whatever you'd like to call it, despite being the one that's being penetrated. I have fics planned out where the opposite is the case, I have plenty of fics where bottoming doesn't have anything to do about being sub or being dom or anything like that. I think there's this idea going around that somehow, (gay) sex acts are linked to power and power exchange and that there needs to be some equilibrium or... justice??? And. No. That's not how consensual sex, be it in relationships or hookups, works in my mind. In consensual sex, there is no disadvantage in bottoming or no need for any of the partners to bottom to fix some sort of hierarchy. Because there is none. Not in the consensual sex of two (or more) partners that want to have sex to have a good time or feel close or relax or any of the other reasons people have sex.

Fair question to ask, just know that I don't write bottom anything for the sake of making a point, I just write whatever feels like the characters would enjoy it in that particular moment in time, whatever suits the POV I wanna go with. I don't keep a tally of times penetrative sex has been part of a story and who did what. If that's a no-go for you, that's fine and I won't hold it against you. I have a bunch more stories coming up with all kinds of dynamics, all kinds of sex acts, all kinds of differently written versions of our two blorbos.

hope this was concise enough and I recognize that I've definitely put all kinds of other, adjacent, points into this, but this gay man right here is kind of fucking sick and tired of seeing stuff assigned to gay sex acts that are just. sex between consenting partners

[thelingodingo]

Korean Titles of BTS Songs

Remember when a bunch of fans were asking Jungkook about BTS' song 'Paradise' and he had no idea what they were talking about since the Korean name of the song is different from the English?

Well, that's what I thought I could make a post about since it's very common across multiple of their songs!

A lot of the times in Kpop, the Korean name of a song has a completely different translation than the English name so I wanted to start a series explaining the more intricate details of the translations.

So first up here's a list of explanations of a couple BTS Korean song titles:

Paradise = 낙원 : this is just a regular direct translation

Fire = 불타오르네 : I think this Korean song title is great enough to have a post of its own due to how useful it would be to Korean learners as it requires knowledge of multiple aspects of Korean to truly understand. In English, it could still be translated as "fire" but it definitely holds more meaning in the original Korean. 불 (bul) means fire and the verb 불타오르다 (bul ta o reu da) means "to be burning/aflamed". The 네 (ne) part of the title 불타오르네 (bul ta o reu ne) is a grammar particle that expresses admiration, surprise, etc. So all together the song title is sort of saying something along the lines of "oh look, it's burning up in flames" I guess??? It's hard to try and explain the nuance in English.

Telepathy = 잠시 : this title translates directly to "for a moment"

Boy with Luv = 작은 것들을 위한 시 : beautifully means "a poem for the small things" which I think would've made a great English title too

Go Go = 고민보다 GO : this translates to "rather than worrying about it, go"

Dis-ease = 병 : this literally translates to disease in Korean but apparently some media(?) thought it translated to 'bottle' (like a plastic water bottle) which I guess makes sense since it's the same word in Korean but lmao I thought that was funny.

I do like BTS but I'm not an Army so if any fans happen to know any deeper information that may further elaborate on the reasoning for these title changes in English please feel free to add on!

If you would like a Part 2 or have any specific questions then just ask!

I know I've been away for a very long time to any of my followers that keep up with my posts (thank u btw) and I am trying to get back into posting but it has been an extremely busy year for me :(

[animementrash]

AOT Veterans red flags Pt.1

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe

Tags: headcanons, implied established relationship, annoying things I think they would do, they/them pronouns for Hange <3

A/N: Listen, I don't know about you but I can't enjoy anything without trying to find something bad about it No wonder why I've been in therapy for 4 years, so this is me trying to find annoying things they would do when in a relationship. I will also post the cute/nice things version soon, so don't worry! :p

Levi Ackerman:

Will snap at you when mad. Even if you manage to get him to date you and even if he really loves you, when he’s mad, he doesn’t make exceptions on anyone and will most likely snap at you if you’re nearby or if you’re the reason he’s upset.

Will give you the cold shoulder after arguing. He may be a strong and composed man but most definitely lacks of some emotional intelligence so if you have a fight his first response is to back out and ignore you until he’s sorted his mind. It may be hours, days or even weeks until he starts reaching out to you normally.

Will never admit he’s wrong. Following with the arguing theme, if you guys are fighting about something he is wrong about, he will rather leave you talking to yourself than to admit he’s wrong. He may reach out to you and admit it afterwards but will never do it at the moment you’re arguing.

Will expect you to adapt to his lifestyle and not the other way around. He’s been very independent since a young age and his lifestyle is ruled by very specific ideals and schedules, which means he will most likely expect you to understand and adapt to said rhythm instead of asking for your way of doing things or even try to adapt to yours.

Will not “get out of his shell” for you. He’s a very reserved, quiet and simple man; no, he will not eventually start to like going out and meeting new people and no he will not suddenly change his attitude to be a friendly sunshine just because you’re like that or you want him to be like that. He is who he is and will not change for anyone, take it or leave it.

If he must choose between Erwin or you, he will choose Erwin. This isn’t even a question for him, and it’s not even an Eruri kind of thing, it’s just that for the most part of his life his only reason to keep going has been Erwin’s ideals, the only constant in his life has been Erwin and for him to choose something or someone else above that is almost impossible.

Will not like the things you like just to make you happy. If you like drinking coffee instead of tea it’s alright for him, but don’t expect him to start liking it too just because you offered him a cup. Also, if you are a social person and love to go out and befriend everyone, he will not stop you but won’t go out of his way to be friendly either.

Will most likely ignore you if he gets too overwhelmed. He will not do it on purpose or without a warning but if he’s tired and you keep on rambling about something that may not necessarily be interesting to him, he won’t hesitate on asking you to stop talking or to let you know he’s not interested.

Erwin Smith:

King of gaslighting. Erwin is such a great strategist, he’s smart and analytical, of course he will find a way to make you believe you were wrong when arguing even if he’s actually the one who messed up.

Will neglect the relationship more than expected. Whether you’re dating or married, you really should understand the role he plays inside the walls. He is the Commander of the scouting legion and will almost always be drowning in work, he may not like to do it but will sometimes put aside your relationship for the sake of his job, even if this makes you upset.

Won’t tolerate too much bs. Another practical man who’s been alone most of his life and already has everything figured out the way it works for him. If he dates you and you start to try to change his way of living or his routines, he will break the relationship without hesitation. He needs someone as mature and practical as him who will understand him without fussing about trivial things.

Will flirt and court other ladies if needed. I previously posted a HC about Erwin knowing he’s handsome and using that to his advantage sometimes and I firmly believe he would keep doing so even after he is in a relationship, he may not go all the way and cheat on you for the sake of the scouts but will probably accept an invitation to dinner or a flirty kiss on the cheek if he knows that can be beneficial to the legion. He isn’t trying to make you jealous or upset you, but don’t expect him to pass on an opportunity if the time is right.

King of mansplaining. He does not do it on purpose, I promise. But very often he will explain the most basic thing to you as if you were a toddler who just learned how to talk. He will also use that slow and condescending voice when explaining things that makes your blood boil.

Is a very jealous partner. Yes, he may flirt with a lady on a ball but that’s just because it’s for the sake of the scouts; your sweet greeting to that seller at the market isn’t saving the world so why do you need to greet him in such way?

Will leave to expeditions without saying goodbye. This behavior may appear only the first two or three times after you get together, this man is afraid of dying outside the walls and leave you waiting for him forever, so what does his smart yet dumb brain tells him to do? Leave without saying goodbye. that way if he does come back, he can always apologize and if he doesn’t, well, hopefully you’re too mad at him to notice he didn’t make it back home this time.

Hange Zoe:

Will prioritize their projects above anything. And yes, that includes you. If you’re expecting them to push everything away and come running to you just because they’ve been secluded in that office for too long, think again. Because they won’t.

Does not understand boundaries at all. Oh, you’re sleeping after a tiring shift? Don’t care, come look at this cool rock I found. Do you have an irrational fear of titans? Close your eyes, I will show you something so cool you will forget you fear them! (They will take you to see a real titan up close).

Will look down at you if you don’t understand them. They will constantly ramble about things that sometimes may be too complicated to understand, and if you dare to tell them that, they will stop talking and go find “someone who’s smart enough to understand”.

Hygiene isn’t their priority. They will run and hug you even if they just came back from training and they’re sweaty and smelly. Your clothes will never be clean again because they will randomly wipe their hands on whatever surface is near and, sadly for you, that will be you most of the time. “No, I don’t need to shower just yet, I did it a few days ago”

Will zone out when you’re talking. This isn’t necessarily their fault; they are just so invested on that new formation they suggested for the next expedition and can’t stop thinking about it that your childhood story about that bruise isn’t worth the time.

Will steal food from your plate without asking. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were saving that piece of meat as your last bite, it seemed so delicious that I thought I’d take it before it went cold”.  “What do you mean it’s disgusting if I put my hand on your soup? I just wanted to fish that tiny potato and eat it!”.

[lincolndjarin]

A Little Mishap.

main masterlist ✧ kinktober masterlist ✦

kinktober : day five - afab!reader x dark!francisco morales

prompt : hate sex [ 18+ mdni ]

word count : 1.4k (sorry all of these are so short, there's so many i've been struggling to make them longer)

summary : READ ALL WARNINGS. THIS IS MY FIRST DARK FIC. you and frankie return to base camp after an unsuccessful mission, each of you blaming the other for the outcome.

warnings, etc. : dead dove do not eat, dubcon/noncon, dark!frankie, unprotected p in v, spanking, use of restraints, panty gag, painful sex, degradation, orgasm denial, creampie, ambiguous ending, probably other things lmk if i forgot any tags

a/n : a lot of my october stuff is gonna be barely edited so my apologies for that but this is my first time writing frankie but also my first time writing any sort of dark fic and i'm definitely feeling anxious about posting this but here it is uhhhh yeah. i've been finishing all of these before work this week and having this tiny little time crunch before doing a ten hour shift really wakes me the fuck up lmao.

He shoves you into the tent, both of you fuming at this point. Neither one of you speaks as you take a seat on your cot, putting your head in your hands. After a moment you can see his boots appear in front of you. 

“I can’t fuckin’ believe you.” He growls and you feel your jaw tense as you look up at him. 

“You can’t believe me?” You say incredulously. “If it weren’t for me we’d have nothing.” 

“If it weren’t for you we might have everything.” He hisses, planting a hand firmly on your shoulder as he shoves you back into the wall, you sit up quickly, kicking his knee in retaliation, watching as he slumps to the floor. 

“I did exactly what Santi would have wanted me to do in that situation.” You usually don’t physical when you two fight, (which is happening more and more often these days) but today you’re fed up with him, you’d been on that mission with just him for over a week when he’d fucked up. You could have lost everything if you’d listened to him, at least now you had half the haul. 

“La puta…” He grumbles, grabbing you by your ankles as you lean back to kick him again. “Os voy a dar una lección.” He mumbles, twisting your legs until you stop resisting. You swallow a squeak that threatens to bubble up from the pain, you’re about to swing on him when he pushes you back down, his hands swiftly yank your pants down making you freeze in shock. He doesn’t give you a chance to protest as he drags you off the cot, knocking the wind out of you as you hit the tent floor.

“Asshole!” You yelp as he pins you down with his knees, taking both your wrists in one large hand as you squirm beneath him, trying to flip him off you.

“Fucking- quit it.” He delivers a sharp slap to your jaw promptly halting your struggle as you scowl at him. You’re about to hurl another insult at him when you hear the familiar sound of his switchblade flipping open. “Don’t move.” He mumbles as you feel the cold steel against your hip and in an instant you hear a slicing, followed by the same on the other side, you squeeze your thighs together instinctively as he pulls your panties off with ease now that the sides are torn.

“Frankie!” You shriek and he takes the opportunity to shove the bunched up fabric between your teeth.

“‘Talk too damn much.” You try to kick him again as he tugs your pants the rest of the way down, bringing them up as he haphazardly flips you onto your stomach, binding your hands behind your back with one of your pant legs. You’re about to spit your panties out when you feel the steel on your throat. “You keep that smart mouth of yours stuffed or I’ll find another way to shut you up.” His blade digs into your flesh as a silent warning and you don’t dare. He gives you a minute to decide what you want to do and you choose to just stay still, trying desperately to steady your breathing. 

He digs his knee into your lower back one more time, eliciting a pained groan from you before slotting himself between your thighs. You’re dizzy from everything happening so fast and he doesn’t give you much of a chance to process any of it as he takes hold of your makeshift cuffs, dragging you upright as you kneel, his free hand wrapping around your waist to cup your mound. 

“You know how often I think about this?” He rests his temple on yours as his chin sits on your shoulder, his body heat suffocates you. 

How many times had you reluctantly thought about the same thing? Rolling to face away from him in your shared tent and shoving your hand between your legs, imagining what it would be like when he finally got sick of your shit and bent you over. You’re snapped out of your thoughts as he dips two fingers between your folds with a satisfied sigh. He slides his digits back and forth, scooping up your abundant wetness with a throaty chuckle.  

“You get off on bein’ a brat?” He dangles his fingers in front of your face before rubbing your slick onto your parted lips, forcing you to taste your own arousal. “Then I’ll treat you like a brat.” He tangles his fingers in your hair, yanking your head up as you feel him grind the front of his pants against your ass. “Fuckin’ soaking me.” He bends you over, forcing your ass up and pushing your face into the floor. He keeps one hand locked around your wrist as the other shoves his own pants down. You whine into the makeshift gag. “Maybe I’ll just fuck some obedience into you.” 

You let out a squeak as he slaps your rear. He lets his palm rest there, before roughly spreading your cheeks. You hear him spit, followed by the sensation of it dripping down your seam, you can feel him lining himself up at your entrance, all of his actions are rushed and you just can’t keep up, your body doesn’t even have time to make an attempt at defending yourself as he rams himself into you without warning. A muffled squeal falls from your lips as he beings to fuck you mercilessly, giving you no time to adjust to the sheer size of him. 

With your face pressed into the floor you can’t see him but you can certainly feel just how thick he is. The underlying pleasure does nothing to soothe the feeling of being split open by him. 

“Jesus-” He grunts out, your pussy gushing around him only spurs him on, his movements somehow becoming harsher as he bumps against your g-spot with ever slam of his hips, the combines overstimulation and pain makes your eyes water, a few tears slipping past your lash line. “Dunno how I’m gonna last in such a tight cunt.” He slaps your ass again, hard enough that you’re pretty sure you’ll have a mark, drawing a sob from you. “Fuckin’ choking my cock when I do that.” 

He spanks you again, a loud crack rings throughout the tent as your cunt involuntarily clamps down on him, his hips stuttering forward. 

“You fucking love this, don’t you?” His voice is low and dangerous as the rough denim of his jeans scratches at your thighs. “Is that why you keep squeezin’ me?” You don’t realize he expects a response until he smacks you again. “You love this?” You nod fervently, mumbling something similar to a yes into your panties. “You wanna finish on my cock?” Much to your own dismay you nod once more.

You don’t know how, but against all odds you really are close. The coil tightening in your stomach threatens to consume you as you try desperately to force yourself over that edge to no avail.

“That’s too bad, only good girls get to come.” He growls, readjusting himself so one hand is tangled in your hair and the other is gripping your wrists, keeping you hovering above the tent floor rather uncomfortably, your lurch forward with every one of his brutal thrusts. You groan something that sounds like his name but you know it’s useless to try and reason with him. With a few more long drawn out thrusts you feel him burst within you, his grip on your hair tightens and you shriek as his release begins dripping from your swollen cunt as he slips out of you.

Your tears are drying on your face and you slump forward once his hands release you. Your body continues to buzz with frustration, a small part of you is genuinely upset at your lack of an orgasm. You can hear the rest of your mission party returning as Frankie leans forward and presses a kiss between your shoulder blades, a sharp contrast to everything he just did to you. You can hear the zipper on his pants as he pulls himself together, leaving you wrecked on the floor. 

“Why don’t we see how Pope feels about your little mishap?” He whispers before you turn your head just in time to watch him lean out of the tent, calling Santiago over.

a/n : i would love any sort of feedback on this?? i've never written anything like this before so i'm a little nervous.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Okay about Beast sskk; because I realized I've got a very definite picture of what the Beast post-canon is like that is only in my mind and I never actually put down, so here we go. Very needed content warning of sickeningly fluff and Beast sskk being disgustingly in love with each other, I suppose.

After Dazai killed himself, Atsushi is reasonably tormented, and can't sleep at night. Roaming across Yokohama late at night, he always ends up at Akutagawa's– instinctively, unconsciously, to an extent even unwillingly. He doesn't choose to, it's more about countless nights unable to sleep spent wandering with no destination and still always finding himself in front of Akutagawa's place for some reason. Akutagawa somehow always knowing when it's going to happen so that he can face him before Atsushi has time to hesitate and run away. How they don't really need words or explanations most of the time, how for Atsushi knowing that there's another person who understands is enough, and everything he needs. How before Atsushi realizes it (and thus keeping him from trying and prevent it), Akutagawa's house has become the only place where he can fall asleep.

That's how they start living together before even being together. They might not even have an actual “getting together” moment, you know? The development of their relationship is so natural and spontaneous, it was meant to end that way from the beginning. Besides, Beast sskk don't really need words between them, so... I suppose an actual confession, albeit nice, would be almost superfluous.

Soon enough they move together to a small apartment near the ada (I'm assuming Atsushi has still enough money saved from his old job). Against popular belief, with time it kind of crystallized in me the idea that Atsushi wouldn't join the ada? His life to that point has constantly been doused by violence and pain and death, he deserves a long break to cope with all the trauma; throwing him right back to another environment where he's constantly pushed to fight and use his ability would not do any good to his mental health; especially when he's got such a conflictual and hating relationship with Byakko, even worse than it is in canon. I wasn't kidding about the house husband thing. Beast Atsushi stays home and chills down and is safe and away from all major sources of stress and triggering environments. Slowly, with time, he goes out more often, gradually relearns what normality is supposed to be like, and bit by bit all his traumatic experiences get more distant, and the nightmares more rare. Akutagawa follows up with his ada job– obviously! There's a whole deal in the end about how important it is for him to keep doing his job and trying to be good. I do believe the ada is the right place for Akutagawa. He returns home to Atsushi who always welcomes him with warmth and joy, and they cuddle a lot.

But I also believe that there would be times when Atsushi is required to go back to action and fight– he's not a member of the ada and he doesn't work for them, but it's obvious that when the ada is in danger and Yokohama is facing serious threats, the guild and the rats and ultimately the doa, the times will call for his intervention. He usually comes to help or rescue Akutagawa, a trump card of sorts. And it's endearing, how Akutagawa is always the one, even among the ada, most contrary on getting Atsushi involved, how he wants to protect him and keep him away, how more than anything he wants him to be safe. As for Atsushi, I really like the concept of this man who retired from action, that spends most of his time at home or chatting with the seniors in the neighborhood, who joins the fight only when the situation is most desperate and reveals himself to be the most powerful and destructive beast to have ever walked on earth. He reluctantly fights, and together with Akutagawa they end up saving the day for everyone, because as Dazai himself said nothing can stop the both of them together.

On the other hand, when the world isn't ending Atsushi solves that very specific role of crime drama protagonist's husband who's very supportive of their partner and listens to them ramble at home about their cases. He often offers useful insights on how criminal organizations work.

Atsushi didn't replace his collar after it broke. They're barely visible under his turtleneck, but he has now wrapped bandages in its place: to hide his scars, to keep the memory of Dazai with him everywhere he goes, to remember what he's lost but also what he's gained.

Ah, and when it comes to the fight against Fukuchi, Atsushi is the one to die for Akutagawa, of course.

Headcanons that directly contradict something stated above but that I still like:

Sskk get together after six months– it's got an ironic taste to it, the timestamp their canon counterparts set to kill each other now being the time they declared their love to each other. It's so soon, but also is it really? They immediately clicked the moment they met each other, and they were always destined to be. At that point, there's no one in the world they need more than they need each other.

In case of Atsushi still wearing the collar for some time after the canon events: sskk had their first kiss when Atsushi took the collar off for the first time. Ever since Dazai died, Atsushi is haunted and unstable; he's throughout scared of taking off the collar, terrified by the idea of hurting someone unintentionally, now that Dazai can't be there to controll him (both through his ability and by the general power he used to have over Atsushi's psyche). Akutagawa sees how much Atsushi is physically hurting, and insists on him taking the collar off; they fight over it for months (verbally, for the most part, except for a couple of times when the fights become physical– but without abilities), before Akutagawa finally manages to convince Atsushi to take it off for a few hours. When they're alone, because after months of being persuaded, Atsushi can trust Akutagawa to be able to defend himself; and also something about “you would never hurt me”. Thing is, when Atsushi finally takes it off, he quickly spirals into a HUGE panic attack, not able to trust himself not to harm the people he cares about; and the only person around is Akutagawa, and he cares about him deeply. The tiger is taking over, and Akutagawa is panicking, and he's desperately looking for a way to quickly ground Atsushi so he just. Kisses him. Which effectively works in the way it immediately distracts Atsushi, as well as causes him to zone out for several minutes. Akutagawa immediately apologizes, and then panics again when Atsushi doesn't answer for a while. It's kinda cute. After that, Atsushi gradually learns to take his collar off more and more often; this time, he can really trust that, if Akutagawa is with him, everything is going to be okay.

[karnaca78]

speaking of which Karna, I wanted to hear about your Rom too !! If i understand/remember correctly, she was Micolash' supervisor of sorts ? Would you mind telling us more, and what other ideas you have for her ? 👀

Oh! Yes, I suppose I've shared very little about her even though she's always been a favourite. Thank you for giving me an excuse to yap about her 😭

In my timeline, Rom (1830-1869) is a fairly reputable anatomist at Byrgenwerth, as well as Willem's niece (extremely strained relationship, the vibes are rancid like you wouldn't believe).

She is very close friends with Caryll, one of the college's archaeologists and later self-appointed Runesmith who makes it his life's purpose to translate the word of the Great Ones.

With Laurence she is cordial at best— her dislike for him probably motivates her not to join the Choir, even though she is involved with Ebrietas (as an anatomist, she mostly studies her physicality).

Her relationship with Micolash is so far the most significant. In 1859, she hires him as her assistant during the Fishing Hamlet beach party because of his upbringing as a surgeon's son, and they do funky experiments with the villagers' remains. All in all she takes it rather better than him, but they both see their scientific worldview tilted on its axis.

(There's a whole fic I've been struggling to write for months on this topic... Hopefully I'll finally decide how I want to write it, but today is not that day)

After that, they work together to try and make sense of Kos and what her existence implies. Micolash, who is first and foremost a physicist, finishes in 1863 his doctoral thesis on the influence of the Great Ones on the laws of matter (which ends up being an odd jumble of mathematical theory, philosophical conjecture and whatever music he's managed to put into it). Rom has to battle Willem for him to give Micolash his doctoral title and keep him at Byrgenwerth, considering the rather abstract nature of his work, so they can pursue their research.

When Laurence and Micolash decide to research the blood they've found during one of their expeditions to the tombs under Yharnam, she doesn't get much involved. She sort of works with the Healing Church (founded 1867) from the sidelines but keeps her post at Byrgenwerth— Willem allegedly wants her to be elected in his place as head of the college. It turns out to be a ruse for him to use her for an attempt at ascension.

Rom and Micolash essentially remain friends but their relationship is rather ambiguous. She's 7 years older than him but after he gets his doctoral title, they interact as equals and have a brief romantic thing going on before Micolash leaves Byrgenwerth to join the Church (to rekindle his yaoi flame with Laurence no doubt).

(I'm at the moment writing a short Micolash/Rom fic. I'm still debating if it's worth finishing.)

She gets turned into the "Vacuous Spider" at age 39 following Willem's failed experiment. Micolash learns of it after the fact and will mourn her for the rest of his life. She spends about 20 years in the lake before the Good Hunter finally puts her to rest.

References:

this comic hints at whatever the hell these two were up to in the Fishing Hamlet

and this one hints that they are quite close (definitely enough for her to touch him which rather says a lot about it, I mean what)

[juletheghoul]

Let Me Follow (Part 6)

AN: Phew! So this was fucking torture. I don't even know how to explain how hard it's been for me lately. Interaction on this site has been abysmal-and while I know we do this for fun, it sort of feels like I'm talking to myself sometimes. It's so hard to not take other people's success personally but I am trying! I have such a clear vision of where this story will go, and I have so much planned that I don't want to give up. I figured the best way to build up my self-esteem, build up my confidence was to go back to how I did it in the beginning, just write, and post. I've done my best to edit this myself, but it hasn't been beta'd. Hopefully, it pays off, enjoy! xo (enjoy the softness before the storm😅)

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) angst, language, age-gap (about 10-11 years, legal, reader is of age), Yearning, post-apocalyptic world, piv sex (wrap it up!), the softest version of this Joel that I've written to date, Grief, panic attack / ptsd / nightmare

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist Series Masterlist

It felt wrong to smile, almost silly. How could anyone smile with how things were in the world? With Johnny gone, with the pounding pain in the back of your head, with the effort and the hunger shredding a hole through your insides—you’d wipe it off your face. Had managed to keep it off for a long time, but then an animal had jumped onto the road and Joel’s arm had shot out in a protective gesture and it had creeped back in. 

“Looks like the rest of the way is on foot.” What had started out as a grinding noise, had quickly turned into dark plumes of smoke from the engine, filling the car with an acrid smell. “Shouldn’t be too far now, few hours.” His scowl was in place, but you saw it differently now–saw it for what it was. A mask, a representation of what this world did to you.

“We can manage that.” Ellie was grabbing her pack, helping Luke with the door before making her way towards the direction Joel pointed you all in. 

“Yes, we can definitely manage that.” You smiled at her, wincing slightly at the way your head pounded. 

“You okay, Sunny?” His hand lands gently on the side of your neck, turning your face towards his. “You can walk, right?” His hand sweeps up, prodding gently at the throbbing goose egg on the back of your head.

“Yeah, I’m okay, my head hurts like a bitch though. Need water soon.” His scowl seems so different now, it’s worry you see there now, instead of anger. He nods once, lingering for a moment before turning and leading the way. Luke doesn’t comment on the exchange, just gives you a small smile and follows Joel, but Ellie; she gives you a toothy grin and a thumbs up. 

Hours pass, thick trees give way to open space. A vast, beautiful landscape stretching out before all of you, seemingly untouched. Everyone is quiet, but alert as you all move closer to your destination. 

“How much longer do you think we have left, Joel?” Ellie is lagging a little bit, the hunger and thirst evident in her voice. 

“Shouldn’t be too much longer.” He turns to look at her, slowing down to let her catch up but he tenses at the sounds of horses just over the ridge in front of you. His gun flies up, but there are too many. Instantly you’re all surrounded by armed people on horseback, twenty people at least. “Get behind me.” He raises his hands in supplication, letting the gun fall onto his shoulder. “We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble, we’re just passin’ through.” 

“Drop the gun.” The person in front of Joel has a rifle pointed at him, a lot of them have guns pointed at the four of you. They have coverings on the lower halves of their faces, the one closest to Joel is yelling, and Joel drops his gun. “You-” He gestures to you, Luke and Ellie. “Take five steps back, separately.” 

“How about we just talk this through-” Joel starts to speak before anyone moves. 

“How ‘bout you shut the fuck up.” The man cuts him off, and gestures to the rest of you. 

“It’s okay, do what he says, we’ll be okay.” You nod at Ellie, moving away from Joel, your own hands up. 

“You been near infected?” The man asks no one in particular. 

“There’s no infected out here.” Joel responds.

“The hell there ain’t!” The man answers before whistling, from somewhere behind them another man emerges with a dog. “Last chance for a bullet, if you’ve been infected, he will smell it, and he will rip you up.” The dog barks, and your heart sinks. Ellie looks to you, big eyes pleading and you take a tentative step towards her, stopping when another of the riders points his gun at you. The dog makes his way over to Joel, sniffing at his feet for a moment before rising up, friendly. 

“Like I said,” Joel calls out. “We’ll just move on.” 

“Now the rest of you.” The man calls out, and the dog sniffs Luke, and then you, moving on lastly to Ellie. Your stomach drops and your hand inches towards the knife in your pocket but after a tense breath, the dog licks Ellie’s hands. You can’t help but take a deep breath in relief. 

“You just bought yourself more seconds.” The man doesn’t lower his gun. “What are you doin’ out here?”

“We’re just lookin’ for my brother, that’s all, nothin’ more.” A woman rides forward at his words, her dark eyes focused intently on Joel’s face. 

“What’s your name?” She asks him. 

“Joel.” He answers, and it’s the magic word. She gestures for them to lower their guns. “Joel Miller, right?” She lowers the covering. 

“Yeah, do I know you?” His voice is thick with confusion. 

“I know Tommy, come on, we’ll lead you to him. Give them a few horses.” She calls out the command to no one in particular, but they rush to obey her nonetheless. 

-

You ride with them, nervously clutching Joel where you sit behind him on the horse they gave him. 

“You’re okay Sunny, just hold on. Don’t squeeze your thighs.” He speaks low and you take a deep breath.

“Sorry, I’m afraid of falling off.” You tighten your grip on him, squeezing tightly around his middle. 

“I won’t let you.” He presses his hand to yours, reassuring you. 

It isn’t long before you arrive at a high wall, with people walking along the top of it. A giant gate is closed to all, until Maria–the woman on the horse gives a signal, and the giant gate opens up for your party. The scene that greets you just inside the gates shocks you into silence. It’s a town, a lively, inhabited, working town. People mill about a central high street, kids play and watch your party move through the street with curiosity instead of fear. 

It’s a lot to take in, working lights and shops seemingly open and in good condition, scaffolding and people repairing things–working together. 

“Tommy!” Joel yells out, startling you and you see one of the men on the scaffolding turn and look, rapidly making his way down while Joel dismounts the horse you’re sharing and runs towards him. It makes you smile to see and hear Joel so happy, to see him find his own brother and it makes you think of Johnny. 

I wish you could have seen this place, Johnny.

–

The food tastes too good to keep any semblance of decorum, instead you shove it into your mouth faster than you can chew it, breathing deeply through your nose in order to fill your belly. Maria and Tommy sit across from the three of you in what was essentially a town cafeteria–Luke had been taken straight to the town doctor and you’d all been assured he’d be fed. 

Joel speaks, Ellie argues, and you keep quiet. Tommy and Maria are an item, and if you had to hazard a guess, Tommy has been less than kind in his description of his older brother. There’s something in the air between them, Maria and Tommy, the two of them versus Joel. A look of judgement in her gaze and it raises your hackles. 

“The house across the street from us is empty, the one next to it too if you wanted your own place–” She looks at you but Joel cuts her off. 

“We stay together. The three of us.” He reaches over, taking your hand in his. Tommy isn’t the only one who’s found someone and it makes your heart soar to have him claim you openly like this. 

“That works.” She smiles politely, Tommy too. “How ‘bout a tour?” Joel nods, and you make your way out, with a full belly and a full heart.

-

The town is well and truly a marvel, the culmination of hard work, strategic location and the well oiled machine that is their patrol. They’ve managed to rebuild a functioning, safe town; full of most of the comforts the world had had before, only on a much smaller scale. You keep quiet as she guides the three of you through their little corner of normalcy, unable to stop yourself from noting where all of the supplies are kept, where the food stores are, how many horses are in the stable. 

There’s a tense energy flowing between Joel and Tommy, something unspoken in the air, an anger, a resentment and you can’t exactly blame Joel for his share of it. His brother has been here, safe and happy, with a purpose–content to leave his brother in the dark in order to protect what they have here. You can almost understand why, there’s something else though, something in the way Maria watches Joel that plants a seed of suspicion in your brain. Your suspicion deepens and if you had to hazard a guess, he’s told her some unsavoury things about the man you’d come to–what, love? The thought is sobering, you push it away. 

Maria suggests showing you where you’ll be staying, mentions getting cleaned up while she moves away from them, gesturing for the two of you to follow, and with a nod from Joel, you do.

-

The house was furnished from before, everything old and a bit dusty, but otherwise in good condition. Relatively clean, working lights, a hot shower. Heaven. You stay in there a little longer than necessary, too content in the warmth of the water to make it as quick as you’d planned. Your little trailer–although having served as an oasis by today’s standards–didn’t hold a fucking candle to this. 

You smile to yourself, picturing Joel melting in the warmth, his handsome face tipped back in unadulterated joy. It almost made you regret not waiting for him, almost. That first time Johnny had rigged up the trailer to catch rainwater and figured out a way to somehow connect the whole thing to a powersource and heat it, that same feeling coursed through you now as the steam filled the ensuite, only now it was painted with a bittersweet brush. You’d gotten good at pushing away thoughts of Johnny and what could have possibly–probably–happened to him, and you did it again now. You forced his breezy smile, his dumb jokes, the comforting piece of home that he’d been out of your mind and focused on getting clean. 

Maria had left some clothing for the three of you in the house, doing a remarkably accurate job at guessing what would fit and once dressed, Ellie had run out of the house, itching to explore. It served you well enough. It gave you time to rest and to regroup. It gave you a chance to think about exactly what it was you wanted to do now that something like this was an option. 

—

The house looks normal, really normal. Not just the normal he’s had to adjust the definition of the word to over the last twenty years, either. It’s just a house. It’s just a suburb, just a neighbourhood relatively untouched, by the ravages of the last two decades. A two-story home with good bones, a home he imagined could be stable for him, for Sarah. 

The thought of her forces the air out of his chest, punches it out of him with the force of a gunshot. He hadn’t let himself think about her in so long that it shakes him, freezes him where he stands on the porch like some sort of statue. It had been twenty years since he’d lost her, and yet he can still smell her hair in his nose, can still feel the weight of her in his arms, can still hear the sound of her voice and it breaks his heart all over again. He squeezes his eyes shut tight and lets the anger, and the hurt, the rage of his monumental loss pass engulf him.

His heart pounds in his chest, the blood it beats booming like a drum in his ears. His vision blurs as he stands there, terrified and bewildered, swaying as though caught in a massive wave and struggling to breathe. His hand shoots out and he braces himself against the wall of the house. He focuses on the brick under his hand, the grit of it digging into his palm. 

Breathe Joel, breathe. 

His lungs fill with air. 

In. Out. Repeat.

His vision eventually clears as he catches his breath, the pounding in his ears lessens and he finally feels like he can move his legs and after a few more steadying breaths, he leaves whatever the episode was, and the memory of his daughter on the porch. 

—

He groans as he makes his way up the stairs and you can’t help but smile, anticipation and excitement and a whole bunch of feelings you can’t, or maybe won’t name swirling in your gut as you wait for him to find you. The scowl is there when he finally opens the right door, his eyes burning into yours but there’s something else there too. 

“Everything okay?” You sit up at the sight of him, pale and no doubt clammy by the looks of him, “Did something happen?” The fear doesn’t creep, it slams into you. 

“No no, everythin’s okay. Just tired.” His eyes soften, but only a little. “You look…cozy.” He raises an eyebrow at finding you in bed, quite obviously cleaned up and relaxing. “Shower working?” 

“Yes, I am very comfortable. It’s a real bed, Joel—real blankets and a real house… lights and hot water.” You can’t help but gush, and smile and kneel up to speak to him, “go, go shower and get clean. Maria brought us some clothes, here—“ you all but crawl out of the bed and rush over to the dresser, grab him a towel and soft sleep things, hurrying to shove them into his hands. 

“Hold your horses, girl—where’s Ellie?” He quirks his head, listening for her.

“She’s fine, in the bedroom down the hall, she was passed out when I checked in on her about an hour ago. Now go! Get clean, mister.”

“Okay okay, Sunny, I’m goin’.” Both his tone and his smile are soft, “be right back.” He grumbles halfheartedly, but does what you ask all the same. 

He takes just as long as you thought he might, the hot water and steam casting its spell on him, just as it had on you. 

“Jesus Christ,” He looks so much softer than you’ve ever seen him, standing at the door in a loose shirt and some boxer shorts, holding his dirty pile of rags, “that was the best shower I’ve taken in years.” He sets down the pile before making his way over to the bed. 

“Life Changing, truly.” You smile up at him, giddy at the thought of having him here, safe and protected, in a real bed. “I had almost forgotten what it was like.” You move in a little closer as you speak, itching to snuggle up to him, but keeping your distance all the same. Despite his kiss, his open declaration in the dining hall, it wasn’t easy to forget being pushed away.

“The little setup you had was pretty good.” He must see the doubt, must see the way your fingers twitch with want and he makes the first move, pulling the blanket up and opening his arms. You crawl into his embrace with a toothy grin.

“Nowhere near as good as this.” You bury your face into the skin of his neck and inhale, eyes rolling into the back of your head when his clean scent hits you, “God, I love soap.” You all but moan it into his neck and he laughs, a genuine, deep rumble that fills your heart with something.

“Yeah I bet you do, I’m sorry about the state of me before. You smell pretty great yourself.” He wraps himself closer too, skimming his nose along any inch of skin he can reach and it’s almost as if the world outside doesn’t exist. This is the only thing that matters. Him, you, this bed—Ellie, safe in her room. 

“I scrubbed a lot, l probably took off a few layers of skin.” You run your fingers through his hair, basking in the feeling of his touch, basking in his voice and the soft caress of his breath against your skin. Ignoring the tiny little voice that warns he might change his mind later.

Stop that, just enjoy a good fucking thing here.

You scold yourself, bringing your focus back to him.

“Me too, reckon I needed it, bad.” His hands move from your back, up to your skull and you wince when he touches the goose egg. “Still hurts? I should go find Tommy, see if he’s got any painkillers for you.” He almost goes to move away and while your heart sings at his readiness to leave the comfort of this to take away your pain, your fingers dig into his back and hold.  

“Don’t you dare.” He laughs, and gets back into place.

“Yes ma’am, I’ll do it in the morning.” He takes another look at where you’d been hurt before tucking you close, and pulling the blanket up over you both. “It feels so strange to lay here, almost normal.” 

“I know, it’s almost too weird.” Your leg lifts of its own accord and hooks over his middle, “I have my knife on the nightstand beside me, but I almost feel like I should have it under my pillow.”

“I know what you mean, been livin’ in fear a long time. That doesn’t just go away after a hot shower and a good meal.” His hand comes down and holds onto your thigh, as though you’d both done this a million times, you smile into his neck. 

“Can we stay here?” The question has been there all day, burning a hole in the back of your brain and into the tip of your tongue, “Do you want to stay here?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t even know what I’d do with myself here.” You bite your lip at his admission, “If you wanted to, I would. I’d go wherever you go.” His tone is soft again, his eyes averted and you can see it’s hard for him to admit that out loud. “I know I’m hard to be around sometimes, but I’m tryin’.” His hand sweeps up your thigh as he speaks, giving himself something to focus on, ground himself with.

“I know, Joely. I can see it.” You lean in and kiss his cheek, pressing yourself closer to him, pushing past the lump in your throat to speak. “Once Ellie does what she needs to do, we can all live here.”

“We’ll have to see how that goes, her and the fireflies.” He says nothing more, and you leave it there.

A yawn slips out and before you’ve even finished, he’s reaching over and turning off the light on his side. His arms, the soft sweep of his hands on your skin, his voice in your ear and his lips at your temple all work their magic and lull you into a deep, dreamless sleep.

His whole body twitches, and that’s what wakes you up, bleary eyed and half terrified. You barely have time to rub at your eye with the heel of your hand before he’s moving again, his head jerking side to side and you call to him, but he doesn’t hear you.

“Joel, wake up,” you put your hand on his shoulder, softly, “Joel!” 

He lurches forward violently, his arms flailing in the darkness and you know he’s still in the nightmare, the terror bleeding through into reality for a moment before he realizes where he is. 

“It was just a bad dream,” you reassure him, keeping your voice soft and calm, “you’re okay, come.” You open your arms to him and even though he’s awake, he still takes a few deep breaths before moving. Whatever he’d dreamt, it had been bad. He breathes hard as he settles beside you, the sheen of terror shining on the parts of his face illuminated by the moon filtering into the room. “Do you want to talk about it?” You run your fingers through his hair, doing your best to soothe him. 

“I–” He frowns, opening his mouth, then closing it, and repeating the action a couple of times before answering again, “It’s just, everythin’.” He lets go of a big breath, and melts into the bed, melts into you. “I just, I dreamt somethin’ bad happened–I think. I don’t even know anymore.” his breath fans across your skin as he speaks, raising goosebumps in its wake.

“I get it,” You press your lips to his neck, “Happens to me too, sometimes.” 

The novelty of this moment isn’t lost on you, the stark contrast between when you first met and now would have been unbelievable to you back then.  

“First night in a real bed, and this is what happens.” He scoffs in the dark. The words are meant to be light, but he can’t hide the annoyance threaded in the tone.  

“Well, we could take advantage,” your thumb brushes against the plump of his lower lip, but you don’t push it further, “what do you think?” He almost doesn’t let you finish your sentence, instead his mouth presses against yours, forestalling any further conversation, and filling your stomach with butterflies. 

It’s almost embarrassing how fast your body responds to him, the trail his hands leave across your skin like an electric current. His palm skates up under the loose shirt and finds the weight of your breast, his thumb brushing over the stiff peak in sync with the groan he feeds directly into your mouth. You scramble to get closer, feeling the frantic energy in his hands and matching it.

It feels so fast, feels like just a moment before you’d been sleeping and not clamouring to eat each other alive. But it also feels so slow, like no matter how hard you both breathe one another in, no matter how quickly you rip off each other's layers, you cannot get close enough, fast enough.

It’s then that the realization hits you. There, on the edge of this bed that isn’t yours, but could be. It’s there when the layers are finally fucking gone, when your mouths are fused together but barely moving, when you’re finally fully seated and your aching pussy is stretched around the thickness of him. 

I love you.

His forehead rests against yours while you sit on him, snug, and tight, and wet. The two of you sharing each other's breath, the nightmare forgotten, or most likely repressed. You try to shoo the thought away and focus on the way he feels, on the way he fills you so perfectly. You focus on the hands that hold onto your ass, on the broken moans he breathes onto your skin.

God, I love you.

It pops up again, unbidden and you frown to yourself, trying again to focus on him. 

“What’s wrong baby?” His eyes are on you now, his frown a mixture of pleasure and worry. “Am I hurtin’ you?” He holds your chin so tenderly, it makes your heart ache.

“No, Joely, it feels so good.” You kiss him, relishing in the fact that you can, but it isn’t enough because he pulls away for a moment.

“You sure?” He cradles your face in his big hands and it’s a double edged sword. It’s everything you never thought you’d have, it’s comfort and belonging, but it’s also a void. A black hole you could fall into, and never crawl out of. It’s a weakness, a stupid, wreckless risk that this world no longer seems to have any space for. You can see it, the black pit of despair in his eyes, the trust and gamble it is to love another person and it shifts like the colours of an oil slick stain on concrete when it rains. From terrifying, to beautiful. 

“I’m okay, I promise.” You press a soft kiss to his mouth again, and lie to both him, and yourself.

---

Tag list: @foli-vora @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @ezrasbirdie @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @wheresarizona @sherala007 @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @quica-quica-quica @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @sophiefatale2495 @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @localddreamers @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @maievdenoir @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @allthatsleftbehind @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed @swtaura @send-me-to-valhalla @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @oliviajdjarin @actuallyanita @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @rosymythologies @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery

[lover-of-mine]

Can I submit for the buddie begins idea. Obviously it all starts in the kitchen. And maybe the back and fourth you guys are talking about is definitely the living room. But can we please have the Christopher r3lated stuff happen in there. Like Eddie sort of storms in there and vaguely gestures around. Look how weird we are, I made you gaurdian to my son 2 years after knowing you and didn't tell you for a year!!! It would be such validation for me as a viewer to get will acknowledgement!!!!

Okay, like, my plan is starting in the dining room actually, then you have Eddie run to the living room and then you have Buck chase Eddie into the kitchen. Love love LOVE living room to talk about Chris. Hear me out, we're mirroring situations. In my head, the buddie beings episode happens after one of them almost dies the episode before and it pushes Buck into action. I didn't have something specific in mind until @lesbianrobin made this post and I legit keep building my buddie begins fantasy on top of that situation. Read their post, it's incredible, but basically it suggests Eddie and Maddie in a situation and almost dying, Buck thinks he's gonna lose them both, somehow both of them make it out, but for a second when Buck sees Maddie, he thinks that means Eddie is dead, until he sees Eddie and rushes to him. So picking up from that. Don't make anything actually happen at the scene for whatever reason, like, end the episode with both of them hugging or whatever. I like this idea a lot because it makes the episode about madney too, so we're not forcing 2 episodes solely about buddie. Then we open the next episode the way I pitched the buddie begins episode, you start with Buck a bit frantic as he knocks on Eddie's door. At this point, we all know they're in love with each other and are just waiting, it's day time, Chris is at school. And we start the conversation in the dining room. Why the dining room? During Eddie's breakdown conversations happened there. So we have both of them sit down on the table to talk trauma backwards. The most recent thing, Eddie gets aggravated and starts talking about the lightning, all around those we are getting the flashbacks the way I had said to add some more context to scenes we already have. We reach the shooting. Shooting makes Buck bring up the will. Eddie then decides he can't hear Buck talk about the will as a backup plan or whatever and starts moving towards the living room where they talk about Buck's place in Chris' life. Why is that important to be in the living room? Eddie fights with Shannon about her place in Chris' life in the living room, that scene in 408 where Buck is babysitting? Living room. Eddie asking Buck to talk to Chris during 710? Living room, so your idea to keep Chris stuff there is genius. Again, all these are weaved with flashbacks to add new context to buddie moments, Buck keeps fighting about it "why did you hide it from me" and Eddie decides to run, so he goes down the hallway back into the kitchen and we get the last flashback, the one with Bobby telling Eddie about Buck while trying to poach him from station 6. We're back in the present, Buck is following Eddie into the kitchen, this is the first time they stop without something between them, through the whole thing keep something physically between them, the table, the couch, and we're in the kitchen now. The place of vulnerability. Where they listen to each other. Buck asks what does it all mean, Eddie is mumbling excuses. Buck gets tired and just says something kinda like "because it kinda sounds like you love me" and Eddie kinda looks like a deer caught in headlights "and I love you but you need to want this" Buck gets closer "do you want this?" they're close enough to touch "do you want me?" and then Eddie is reaching for Buck while nodding "yeah-i love you-just come here" and they are kissing. Bam, buddie is canon, history is made.

Yes, I've spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this kspakapakapkapaa I can see it so clearly. Come on 911, just hire me, I can do so much for the show.

[daisha-mochizuki]

ranting time for my 100th post

Okay. I need to scream to someone.

As an autistic person myself/someone's who is *most definitely* on the spectrum, I find that I am becoming more self aware, thus becoming aware of other people's autistic/neurodivergent behavior.

Continuing on with that information...

Does anyone else think/agree with me if I were to say that there's a pretty high chance Izuku is autistic, or at least on *some sort* of the neurodivergent spectrum??? Maybe someone else has said it before I don't know but I went on an entire spiral last night as I was trying to come up with ideas for an AU I'm doing😓

But, just listing some of the stuff he does that I personally do that I know is a hyperfixation:

Hyperfixates (most obvious being All Might/Toshinori Yagi [who could also be a special interest not just a hyperfixation], but also the other heroes and even villains)

Constantly trying to be optimistic about things/MASKING.

Immense guilt weighing you down when you think you've done something wrong even if it's something as small as putting something in the wrong spot by accident

Having hundreds of notebooks and other things to keep track of data from hyperfixations/special interests

Collecting objects of hyperfixtion/merchandise and shtuff for hyperfixations

Having a strict schedule/routine to follow (his training schedule *cough cough*)

RAMBLING NON-STOP ABOUT SPECIAL INTERESTS/HYPERFIXATIONS

When we look at Izuku's rooms, there's obviously the All Might special interest. We know all about his notebooks, and (if I'm remembering correctly) there are thirteen of them. While to some it may not seem like much (maybe idk I don't have normal interactions with people), those notebooks are filled to the *brim*. There's also *more* notebooks than that, as there's ones about his classmates, and ones about OFA, and other stuff as well.

When he was training, yes I know All Might made the routine for him, but Izuku took the routine and made it his own and followed it everyday (even though it grew unhealthy).

Izuku is honestly just a kid who doesn't know how to have a normal human interaction unless he is put in charge and is under a sort of stress in his brain. It may not seem stressful to others, but in order to have the "confidence" to be in charge, his brain creates stressors in order to function "correctly" in those situations.

He studies and trains obsessively, and is a people pleaser to all extents.

There's probably more that I could talk about, but *I've* been rambling here for a little while here now😭😭

Hope my ramblings made sense :D

(Also yayyyyyy 100 posts😭👍)

[shadyufo]

How much do you like selling on Etsy? I've been thinking about opening up a shop to sell my own taxidermy art on there. It's just that I've heard Etsy is known for shutting down shops randomly and people keep saying that Etsy's "dying"/on a downward slope. I also heard there are a lot of scammers... What are your thoughts?

Hi Anon!

My feelings about Etsy have definitely gotten sorta complicated over the last few years.

First of all, I love my little shop. I love getting to interact with so many sweet and lovely folks and I love getting to send my art and oddities all over the country. I’ve sold pieces through Etsy that have ended up in museums and classrooms, as props in movies and television shows, that have been centerpieces in peoples’ weddings, that were birthday gifts for little kids just getting into nature and science, and so many other neat and wonderful places with some really awesome people who I am forever grateful to for supporting my shop.

That said, in my opinion, Etsy is definitely not what it used to be and there are plenty of things I wish they would do differently to make the site better for sellers and buyers. I think their search feature needs a total revamp and they also need to crack down on all the sellers flooding the site with mass-produced merchandise. Their recent decision that AI-made content is totally fine by them is another serious bummer and a slap in the face to the real artists using their platform. The list goes on.

In spite of all that, if you want to open an online shop, then Etsy is still probably the best site to do it on, at least starting out. It’s a trusted, household name and they have millions of users from all around the world so you are going to be getting much more traffic than if you were just starting your own site from scratch without any sort of social media following.

You'll still likely want to grow a social media presence (if you haven't already) to help drive traffic to your site rather than rely on Etsy alone for this. A great deal of my own shop's traffic comes from Tumblr and what little I post on other social media. This is something I really should be better about as I've kinda shot myself in the foot by not utilizing them more over the years...but I just really don't like using TikTok or Instagram haha.

From what I’ve seen, vulture culture stuff-wise, Etsy mostly gets mad at folks who sell wet specimens or other more “gruesome” type of oddities and don’t blur the main listing photo or do something similar to warn folks that it could be something they might find upsetting. They also prohibit the sale of some animal parts that are perfectly legal to buy and sell provided you follow the laws around them. So if a seller was listing some of those items, while legal elsewhere, that might have gotten them in trouble with Etsy. Here's a list of what they don't allow. And here's a more specific list of their prohibited animal parts. Note bear, wolf, and zebra are on the list—it's perfectly legal to sell parts from some of these animals in some places provided you follow the laws around doing so, but Etsy doesn't allow it at all. I've had them remove listings for domestic dog and cat skulls in the past as well—the law there is in regards to selling dog and cat fur (which is illegal in the US) but Etsy seemed to think it covers bones as well which it does not.

As for scammers, don't click on suspicious links anyone sends you and watch out for people wanting to contact you outside of Etsy. Don’t swap phone numbers, email addresses, etc with people. Etsy has guides on their site on what to watch out for that it’d be good to read through.

So all of that to say that if you want to start selling your work online then I think Etsy is most likely going to be the best place to do it, at least starting out. If you want to just dip your toes in the market before opening an Etsy shop though you can always try posting a few items here or there on Instagram or one of the oddities selling groups on Facebook but in my experience at least, Etsy is still the best way to go. Then, once you build up a following, you can always start your own site or branch out beyond Etsy if you want to.

I wish you all the best, Anon! Hope you find wild success selling your work wherever you decide to do it <3

[betaboks]

Time to yap since I've been posting abt this without fully elaborating. Little profiles for the siblings here and here

tl;dr I just wanted to do a little swap au where the modded siblings r the normal ones now, but I still wanted to keep the fact they're generally not very good siblings to Sanji (with the exception of Reiju) instead of swapping that dynamic as well.

Reiju's mods never really worked on her, even though they were attempted after birth. The boys all got spared by their mother in the womb at the cost of her dying much earlier than she did in canon, except for Sanji, who came out "right". Quickly it was pretty clear he fulfilled the role of a weapon with flying colors, but his emotional mods left him with very little personality and expressiveness, so he wouldn't be any good for actually running Germa when it came down to that.

So, suddenly the failures are deemed necessary. Judge can't get rid of them, even in a way that helps him save face.

It doesn't stop him from reminding them that they're failures that couldn't hope to live up to his expectations, and it also doesn't stop him from trying to "fix" them, even though it hasn't worked. Even though they're royalty, there's an air about them because of how their father talks about them. None of the staff are ever gonna dare treat them poorly but you can tell there's a neon sign over their heads calling them all disappointments. They end up split up as well so there's less solidarity or space to find comfort in each other between them. Niji ends up as a scientist, Yonji as a soldier, Ichiji as the crown prince with all the education and responsibility that entails, and Reiju is sort of in limbo, though she acts as an advisor. It is a bit miserable, though even with all this they do still try to find time together.

Sanji at some point gets told to not let any of his siblings come to harm, and it quickly becomes an order he prioritizes much more than Judge could've predicted he would. He is their protector above all else, and they are important.

At some point whilst Judge is trying to modify his siblings again later in life (likely whilst Yonji was getting his arm replaced, I have smth specific in mind but I'm not sure about it so that'll be sorted later!) Sanji comes to perceive Germa as physically harming his siblings, one of the things he isn't supposed to let happen. So he gathers them all together during a quiet time, splits off some of their snail ships, and leaves with them. Effectively, they've all run away.

That's the setup.

They gain a reputation over time on the Grand Line as the ship with the vicious guard dog. They don't fly a jolly roger, but they get into enough scuffles and subsist off of stealing from other pirates enough that they get treated similarly to pirates regardless, even though they're not usually the aggressors. Sanji is just thorough like that.

Months after all of that happens and they're settled down after the initial chaos of finally getting out of Germa (though still on the run and sailing, they're definitely still being looked for), Niji ends up suggesting that they euthanize Sanji. It comes from a place of care, he thinks it's unfair and inhumane that he has to live with no feelings and only really having orders to follow as motivation for things, and this starts a chain of infighting and arguing between all of his siblings.

Yonji agrees, though he doesn't really care for Sanji. He sees him to some degree as a weapon, and one they'd do well to get rid of because he could be used against them when their father rears his ugly head again. Reiju disagrees just on principle, and is kind of mortified that Niji's solution to their brother being different from them is to just end his life. She's retained what her mother tried instilling in her. Ichiji disagrees, but for practical reasons. He also doesn't much care, but he knows they're on the Grand Line, and that Yonji being a good fighter isn't going to get them out of scuffles unscathed the way having Sanji around as their guard dog does. It is kind of hard to argue against that, all things considered, but it's not the sort of argument that's going to keep anything at bay for too long either. It keeps bubbling back up and strains all of their relationships.

Sanji, of course, hears all of this. None of them consult him on the issue or tell him about it directly. He remains loyal to them all anyway. He is still their guard dog.

Things happen from there obviously but I hope to write a fic so that'll be for a later date if I ever get around to it. Hoping I do. I still wanna just put this out here in case I never do get around to it LOL. Feel free to ask questions and such :] I like engaging with people

[circular-bircular]

I'm putting this blog to rest.

I'm done. I'm out. And god, is it a relief.

You might notice I'm posting this around the same time that SAS is posting a major post in an effort to light the tag on fire. I highly doubt it'll work, but it's the best attempt. Me and SAS are close. Nearly one in the same, some days...

You'll notice the end of the post says, "just wait for what happens next."

This is what happens next.

I'm deleting my syscourse blogs. Finally. No "maybe I will" or "I've been considering it." I've been considering it for a loooong time, and I've actually been intending on getting rid of Circular's-Reasoning for awhile now. I just... haven't had the energy to.

But now... My life is moving on. I'm moving on, quite literally, I gain possession of my new house... probably today when I end up posting this. I'm not sure, it's my first draft, we'll see how this goes. That's terrifying to realize. I'm like... an adult. I'm an adult who's craving good conversations about my disorder, about systemhood and how it's conceptualized, and more intricate parts of my selfhood. And... Syscourse just is not that.

I've done this sort of thing before, if you all know MotCR -- @memoriesofthecircularroom, for the uninitiated. That's the OG Circular Blog, and is an archive of the first few years of syscourse. But... Now, it's going to become a bit more. Here's my game plan.

I update MotCR to be the Circular Archive. Anything I think needs archiving -- good posts of mine, silly reblogs, or just good posts overall where I added something of my own -- will get reblogged there. It's gonna be busy for a bit.

In the meantime while I start that process, I answer any and all final questions/asks or drafts that've been in the works. I don't want to leave people hanging.

I delete a lot of blogs. And... I do mean a lot -- not even just the syscourse ones. Just the ones I think it's time to let go of.

I've often teased how many blogs I have. It's fluctuated wildly in the past. But here's the down and dirty. Here's what I own, and what I'm planning on removing.

@circular-bircular (Hi, Hello, You're Here)

@circulars-reasoning (Already planned to be gone awhile ago)

@systemquirks (I just don't have the energy to run it, and I'm so sorry for that)

@yourfaveissecretlysas (Yes, I am the one running that)

@system-confessions (Surprise! No name blog that barely exists, again, I don't have the energy)

@debunkingsyscourse (Look, I make these too easily)

@equalsys (Not sure how this is a shocker to anyone)

@ricejustdidthings (An old system-no-syscourse blog I have that I don't use anymore)

@my-systems-cringe (Been meaning to delete this for ages)

@circulars-answers (Unneeded)

And potentially one other, unnamed for now blog -- that's the one I've never told people I have outside of select discords...

So that's 11 blogs I'm getting rid of, potentially more. And that's with me still keeping 2 syscourse blogs and an 18+ system blog. Jesus christ.

It feels good to get it off my chest, though. It feels really good to be leaving.

"But Circ! Your posts make me happy!"

Fantastic! You can follow the new system blog I'm going to be making, @thecircularsystem (is that link working? I don't know, it's a brand new blog.)

Try this link out instead if that doesn't work!

I'm still going to be posting system related content there. I'm still going to be doing my normal random shit that I always do. I may even dabble in syscourse -- and definitely in sysconversation. I like that tag! But I'm not going to be doing syscourse nearly as often, and I'm going to try and stay out of that tag in search of reblogs and such. Too often, it results in me getting aggressive with someone, rather than just... spreading good information about systems, or existing online as I want to exist.

I just need a refresh. A new step, a big change. I'm moving on.

I really hope you all can too <3