#i've been having these symptoms since then

[gossippool]

so i do think it's very interesting how, at least from what i've observed, people see/depict worst logan as kind of different from the x men logan in terms of their propensity for violence, or rather how this violence is released. i think it has to do with a couple of things:

as many have pointed out, wade is the only one who has ever been able to match him in a fight. so it makes sense that people would headcanon their relationship as involving fights on the regular. but also;

most of what we see from him in the movie is him fighting, and so we assume that he has a tendency towards it, especially since the past he's trying to escape from is exactly that: him being violent towards others, including those who don't deserve it. i think this has definitely subconsciously shaped some people's perception of him in some way.

but i think it's good to remember that what we are shown isn't proportionate to who he is, because the movie necessarily can't develop his character much outside of the plot. i don't think worst logan and x-men logan are different at all in the sense of x-men logan being "gentler", because not only have we just not had the chance to see worst logan act otherwise, but x-men logan also has this same animalistic violence in him. we can see how quickly he unleashes himself in the movies when the situation calls for it, and even when he's doing it to protect, there's still that rage underneath it all.

worst logan is violent towards wade because 1. he's projecting, and 2. wade can take it. but also it's a symptom of something else that he hasn't worked through, possibly decades of trauma he hasn't worked through. i'm working on a fic that explores this rn, but my headcanon is that his post-x-men rampage was a sort of addiction for him because of the release it gave him, which he then replaced with getting shitfaced, and finding someone who could take him in a fight (wade) could be a reversion to the former addiction if he doesn't work on it. (i think that especially with superhero movies, it's so easy to brush off violence as just another normal thing, but realistically, a failure to unpack all that baggage could escalate his problems into something way worse.)

so imo i think worst logan is practically the same, if not very similar, to x-men logan, just that he's a variant that was dealt the worst card, but we interpret his character differently because all we're shown is what he became because of it. we all know logan is gentle with his lovers, and i think that unless wade shows that he enjoys it, logan would not be violent towards him just because wade can take it. just because you can doesn't mean you should, and i think he of all people would understand that

[american-neurotypical]

oh my god what the fuck.

so i was scrolling the wikipedia article for visual snow syndrome, cuz i was bored. and it said, with no citation so don't take this as a fact that they're linked, that vss is associated with something called tmd. temporomandibular joint dysfunction.

so i decided to read the article for tmd, and i realized it is related to a specific type of jaw issue. (i am too dumb to explain it sorry)

so. i've had jaw issues for a long time. at 9 years old i remember freaking kids out my popping my jaw out of its socket. (i don't know if i actually did that, but that was how i described it as a kid) when i was 10, the dentists noticed that i had a HUGE overbite. it was there since forever, but they finally decided to do something about it i guess.

so for a good few years, i had to wear headgear. originally i was supposed to get jaw reconstruction surgery. but the orthodontist they sent me to thought headgear would be better.

a couple years ago, while i was at a check up at the orthodontist, they started talking about my jaw condition. i didn't know i had a specific condition, i just thought it was only a severe overbite that caused none of my teeth to touch.

but, they said estrogen caused one of my jaw plates to get all fucked up, inflamed and shit.

(i half jokingly use this as proof that my body is meant for testosterone instead LOL)

i didn't get the chance to ask what it was, so i've been lightly researching jaw conditions that are worsened by estrogen and nothing coming up.

but the day i decide to randomly look at wikipedia for visual snow syndrome is the day i might've found out what fucked up jaw thing i actually have.

now, who knows, i might have something else, but the similarities between my childhood jaw thing and the symptoms of tmd is just. holy fuck.

it is even associated with rheumatoid arthritis, which runs in my family. i even have another disease that is also associated with rheumatoid arthritis.

my mom doubts that i have it, because she said that the doctors would have told us if i did. and even then, i got treatment in childhood and so most of the symptoms i don't have anymore.

a step in the right direction at least.

[bat-the-misfit]

(TW: depression, animal illness and death)

as someone who was diagnosed with depression years ago i wouldn't be surprised if my psychiatrist suspected i am depressed again

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

guys please pray for me

[neversetyoufree]

Gnawing at the bars of my cage wondering what personal hatred Olivier is referring to here.

Does he mean hatred is "the reason he's standing here now" as in it's the reason he's reached his current point in life? The reason he's stayed with the chasseurs and become a paladin? Or does he mean "the reason he's standing here now" as in the reason he's still alive?

He brings up his own relationship to hatred in the context of people clinging to it for their very survival, but he also dismisses his own feelings as "trivial," so I can see an argument for either way.

Olivier sees himself in pre-trauma Astolfo, which means he must have grown up relatively privileged and comfortable. The tiny glimpse we've seen of his childhood seems to support that. What desperate straits did he end up in that forced him to rely on hatred? Was it despite or because of that privilege? Despite or because of his involvement with the chasseurs? He doesn't seem that intense in his hatred for vampires (not relative to some other chasseurs, anyway), and we've yet to see him express particular dislike for anyone besides when he got into a fight with Gano over cruelty to Astolfo, so it could be almost anyone that he's talking about here.

I was never that interested in Olivier before these chapters came out, but MAN I'm curious about his history now.

[cerise-on-top]

Hii love bug!! I’m backkkkk😝 I was wondering if you could do how farah and valeria would comfort you on your period since I’m currently pmsing I’m not sure if you do these type of requests because I know you write for specifically gender neutral but I’m not sure so feel free to decline!

Hey there! Welcome back! Don't worry too much about periods, they're gender neutral as well! Some men get them, some women get them, some non-binary people get them! Besides, I do write gendered reader if I can see any point in reader having a gender! Usually a request works perfectly fine without reader having a gender, though, so I default to gender-neutral readers, so anyone can read my writing!

Valeria and Farah Comforting Their S/O on Their Period

Valeria: She knows the feeling of getting PMS. Hers are, by no means as bad as they could be, she rarely ever gets any cramps that are bad enough for her to feel the need to vomit. In fact, she rarely ever gets cramps at all, she really lucked out on that one. Even all her other symptoms are mild in comparison. However, she’s more than willing to help you out if you need it. While Valeria may not be the warmest person out there, she’ll put her hand on your lower stomach to warm it up a bit if you get mild to medium cramps. If it’s any worse than that, then she’ll either get a bottle and fill it with hot water, or, if she can find it, she’ll get the hot water bottle, fill that one up with hot water and hand it to you. However, if you need anything else, she’ll also grab it for you, be it something sweet to get your mind off things or some meds to help you manage your symptoms. However, she will lightly snicker and poke fun at you for looking like you’re about to die. She’s well aware she can’t talk since the worst she gets are breast pains, but that won’t stop her from doing so anyway. Although she may hate the idea of being someone’s servant, she’ll be your “maid” for the duration of which you’re not doing too well. Makes you tea, cleans your home, gets the groceries for you. Valeria may not show it openly, but she would be concerned for you when you’re shaking in pain, she won’t even mock you ever so gently while it looks like you’re about to die. Will gently rub your back and hope it helps you somehow. She can get you any amount of pain meds, though, just give her the word. 

Farah: Her PMS aren’t as bad either. While she does get cramps, they’re not nearly as bad as they are for most other people. In an hour, two at most, they’re gone. Plus she can still move around as if nothing is happening while she does have cramps. Farah had to learn to live with the discomfort on the battlefield so that it doesn’t get in the way of her victory. A lot of lives are on the line, after all. She probably knows you’re about to get your period soon enough before you do, though. She doesn’t track it, she’s just very observant and makes the right preparations that are needed for you to be as comfortable as you could possibly be under such circumstances. Makes you your favorite food, puts on your favorite music, hell, if you want her to, she’ll even give you a massage so you can relax a bit into her touch and feel a bit better. It’s a painful time for you, but she’ll make sure you’re thoroughly comforted throughout it all. If she has the time, then she’ll cuddle you from behind and put her hand on your lower abdomen so she can warm you right up and possibly help you. If you want her to talk, that’s great, because she will. However, if hearing her voice annoys you, then she’ll just go quiet for a few moments. If she needs to go out to grab some groceries, then she’ll leave you with a heating pad so you’re sufficiently warm, even when you’re shaking as if you’re freezing. While she doesn’t have easy access to them, she, too will get you something for your PMS, some meds. However, if you wanna make the symptoms a bit better so that you don’t throw up as easily, she might get you birth control pills as well. As long as they’re compatible with your meds, if you take any. Will be more gentle with you than usual and make sure to get all the chores done that need doing so that you can rest up for the time being.

[sysig]

Finally made a Parapluesch OC, introducing Mama Oz ♥ (Patreon)

[baejax-the-great]

Inspired by a bizarre argument I had on reddit,

I think the question comes down to whether the word "treatment" encompasses strategic behaviors for lessening negative outcomes that result from ADHD symptoms or if treatments are meant to alleviate the symptoms themselves.

[pollen]

i think i might have pcos. AND/or endometriosis. wahoo !!!!

[dreamlogic]

[thedreadvampy]

think I figured out why I've been in a full trauma trigger state for the last week+ and iiiiiiit is embarrassing

it's because I went on a nice date that I enjoyed

and in the background without even TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT my brain decided to start freaking the fuck out about the inevitability of abuse and the essential harm I do by existing in the world. but like. in the background. to the degree that I have at most been vaguely aware that that's even a thought process I was having let alone that it was what was distressing me.

but I have laid out some timelines of when I entered 24/7-panic-attack mode and it lines up precisely to going home after a nice date. for fuck's sake.

trauma is stupid and emotions are dumb. and if trauma shit is going to fuck up my whole week my brain could at least have the good grace to tell me what I'm upset about.

[ihamtmus]

aghh i have acute tracheitis wow am i glad i went to see the doctor after all

[bunnihearted]

🌷🕸️

[crispycreambacon]

Maybe I am autistic.......

[magnetic-dogz]

Honestly while this site can often be very hostile to people with OCD I'm glad that in turn I actually really got to learn about OCD from this site, and that I've been able to put words to feelings and thoughts I've had for years. I don't think I would've realized I had OCD had it not been for seeing people explain what it's like on Tumblr

[stormyrainyday]

i have GOT to stop eating things i'm allergic to these foods are not giving me energy all they're doing is making my tummy hurt