#i'm tired of living like this.
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Ah it's that time of the month again (staying up too late and having too many thoughts about my life to the point of crying)
#j talks#trying to fix myself and also actually live my life#i've been trying so hard to make up for all the time it feels like I lost (depression + anxiety + covid) while also slowly unraveling#like yes i am a much better person now but i have so much more to go#things aren't that bad but also it feels like. i am just. a fuck up ahhhhh#i am not trying hard enough i think........but also i feel like i am trying so hard...and doing so much...#i wonder when my box grew so tiny...when did i do this to myself?#or was it even just me? i dont think so the more i think about it but#how much of it was my fault and how do i really fix things..?#i want to be happy. i want to let myself be happy.#i want to move forward. i want to let go. i want to become a better me for real#i'm tired of living like this.#and its changed and gotten better but i'm still so. bitter.
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#bpd mood#bpd stuff#bpd things#heartbreak#dark aesthetic#toxic relationship#tw self destructive thoughts#tw depressing stuff#su1c1dal#i'm so mad#i feel stupid#i am so tired#why am i like this#i am alone#im not okay#living with borderline#im sad and lonely#i'm so sick of myself#loosing myself#i am sad#heart been broke so many times#tw self destruction#tw depressing thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#actually bpd#trauma#ptsd
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What is transandrophobia and why is it called that? By the guy who coined it and is kind of tired of seeing it defined in the opposite of what it's meant to describe.
In it's most simple definition. Transandrophobia is the way that the fear of men impacts the material reality and mental/physical health of transgender men.
Transandrophobia, is the way that the fear of men and/or masculinity effects transgender men’s ability to access queer and transgender spaces, sexual assault survivor resources, and reproductive health care.
Transandrophobia, is the way that the fear of men and/or masculinity holds back transgender men from transitioning or from presenting as masculine.
Transandrophobia, is the way the fear of men and/or masculinity results in the disowning of transgender men from previous found families and the isolation of transgender men in general.
Transandrophobia, is the way the fear of men and/or masculinity has resulted in people using their trauma as an excuse for abusing transgender men, physically, sexually, and emotionally.
Transandrophobia, is the way the fear of men has resulted in people refusing admittance to “male identified people” to certain queer events and safe spaces.
Transandrophobia, is the way that the fear of masculinity has led to people assuming that butches across the gender spectrum are inherently violent and hyper-sexual.
Transandrophobia, is the way that the fear of men and/or masculinity results in the forced feminization of transgender men in queer spaces, with the insistence that those who refuse to feminize themselves to make others more comfortable should not be allowed entrance to certain queer spaces.
Transandrophobia, is the way that the fear of men has led people to assuming that butches who were assigned female at birth, are at risk of becoming the enemy (a man) and should not be given the same amount of trust as a feminine presenting cis woman.
Transandrophobia, is when that the fear of men being in women’s spaces prevents trans men and non-binary people who present as male from accessing gynecological care, abortions, and birth control.
Transandrophobia, is when transgender men must make themselves smaller to be seen as “one of the good ones” and it is when a trans man who is loud or sexual or Black or Brown or too masculine is seen as a threat to the safety of other transgender people.
Transandrophobia, is when transgender men who speak up about how the normalized way of speaking ill about men in feminist and queer spaces has made them activity suicidal, de-transition, or prevented them from transitioning, are told to “shut up and sit down” or “good.”
Transandrophobia, is not when trans men face misogyny – that is just a trans man facing misogyny (which all trans men face, because misogyny and sexism effects everyone, not just women). However, transandrophobia is when someone says that trans men don’t face misogyny because they are men, make claims that trans men benefit from misogyny since they are men, or insist that trans men’s experiences with misogyny aren’t as valid or as bad as when a woman or non-male person faces misogyny.
Transandrophobia, is when trans men’s struggles are dismissed as being less important, because men don’t need help or men already have help or men don't face real struggles.
Transandrophobia, is when people refuse to acknowledge that the patriarchy see’s transgender men as failed women and not men, which is why transgender men do bot benefit from the patriarchy but are instead violently and systematically punished by it.
Transandrophobia is that and a whole lot more, I would need a book to describe the entirety of the issue, I have been writing a book on it for over six years and re-writing it over and over because if I say it wrong, or say it with too much emotion, or not enough emotion, or with too many numbers, or not enough numbers, and publish it without using perfect wording, trans men might not get another chance to speak up for a long ass time and we will once again have to find new words to say "Pretty please treat me like a human being and let me have access to the things I need in order to survive." and "Pretty please consider that if a large group of people from a minority are telling you they are being oppressed by these actions and fears, then maybe you should believe them or at least the material statistical evidence of that oppression, since you probably trust journals more than us describing our reality and lived experiences."
#saint speaks#transandrophobia#trans men#ftm#transmasc#transgender#transsexual#trans boy#trans pride#trans issues#ftm issues#anyway I'm tired of people describing transandrophobia as the intersection of misogyny and transphobia for transmasculine people#when that is like explicitly not what I wanted it to be used for#it is not the 'boy version' of transmisogyny.#it is its own thing that specifically has to do with the way that the fear of men effects trans men's lives
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Eternal Bonds: Tim and Danny’s Infinite Realms Marriage
In the Infinite Realms, marriage is an unparalleled commitment. Unlike the mortal world, where love can be fleeting and easily undone, marriage in the Realms is something far more sacred. It’s not just about vows or ceremonies—it’s about merging souls, creating a bond that not even the vast stretches of time can sever. The very idea of marriage in the Realms is rare, almost mythical, because it requires two beings to love each other so profoundly that they’re willing to bind their very existence to one another.
For the ghosts and entities that reside in this realm, eternity isn’t just a poetic idea—it’s a reality. Time is meaningless when you’re no longer alive, when your very essence is bound to the afterlife. And because of this, relationships are viewed through a different lens. There’s no such thing as divorce, no “time apart.” Once a couple is bound, their souls are intertwined forever. To dedicate your entire being—past, present, and future—to another means accepting that their joys, sorrows, triumphs, and failures will be yours too. It’s a partnership where breaking the bond is simply impossible.
It’s why marriage is such a rare occurrence in the Realms. The ghosts, who have already lived one life and often seen the frailty of mortal promises, don’t enter into this kind of bond lightly. It’s only for the strongest of loves, for the most steadfast of commitments. Because once you marry in the Infinite Realms, that bond holds through eternity itself.
And yet, despite the gravity of it all, Tim and Danny find themselves willing to make that very commitment. Tim, a mortal tied to a world where things end, where nothing lasts forever, steps into the unknown. His love for Danny is so deep, so unshakable, that he agrees to a traditional Infinite Realms marriage. He knows full well the weight of it—he’s not just vowing to love Danny in this life, but in every life after. In swearing to this bond, Tim is offering his entire being to Danny, for now and all of eternity.
For Danny, this choice means even more. As a halfa, he exists between two worlds, knowing both the mortality of the living and the permanence of the ghostly afterlife. His love for Tim is powerful enough that he’s willing to make this eternal commitment, knowing that there’s no one else in any world—mortal, ghostly, or beyond—he would rather be tied to. For Danny, the bond is as natural as breathing. It’s a connection that deepens their relationship in a way that transcends the limitations of their two worlds.
Their marriage isn’t just a declaration of love—it’s a merging of souls, a binding that makes them two parts of the same whole. It overwhelms them with the sense of safety and belonging that they’ve both craved in their lives. In each other, they find the kind of love that doesn’t just endure life’s difficulties but thrives beyond them. Their bond ties them together forever in a way that no one else could understand, but to Tim and Danny, it’s everything.
They are each other’s home. And in the Infinite Realms, there is no greater honor, no stronger connection, than to be bound by love for all of eternity.
#brain dead#dead tired#tim drake#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#i totally think that marriage should be a sacred thing in the afterlife because you are promising to love someone for all eternity#eternity in a very literal sense btw#tim and danny should also just be undeniable soulmates in like every world ever#you can also totally make this angsty depending on how you think tim will end up in the realms#i had a few ideas#an interesting route could be that the traditional Infinite Realms marriage alters Tim fundamentally#turning him into a halfa like Danny#this transformation would ensure that they are not only emotionally and spiritually bonded#but also physically tied to the same plane of existence#another being tim might age much slower almost as if he’s been granted an extended lifespan#so that they can share a near-eternity together#he would still be alive but his mortality would be stretched out far beyond a normal human lifespan#i think this one is more devastating tho:#danny has to watch tim grow old while he remains ageless or only ages very slowly#but because the wedding binds their souls in the afterlife tim would not truly leave danny forever upon death#instead the moment tim's mortal life ends his soul could be drawn into the infinite realms to live with danny for eternity#agh theres just so much potential for this idea!! so many things i can add and have thought abt that would be so interesting to see!#i'm so in love with this concept
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throws au sketches at you
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raphael#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt april#rottmnt casey jones#live life extras#lee's art#i'm so tired#can i just like. not
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Supernatural Involvement and Ominous Signs in ASLFUA
For a while, many readers have theorized that there is some kind of a higher power/higher being in ASLFUA, and looking at the latest episodes it seems to have been confirmed. With this post, I've tried to gather every instance of the higher power's implied presence and all the ominous scenes in the story. I also included foreshadowing scenes that could have made Miae aware of certain things if she had paid attention because coincidences are important in the story, and certain moments that were defining in the plot. The list contains spoilers for the newest KR episodes and it keeps being updated.
Episode 2 :
Miae is reading a book in the library about how the last day of 1999 will be the end of the world: "'1999, a terrifying overlord is coming...the end of the human race.." -> this might be a reference to the famous prophecy of Nostradamus in which in the 7th month of 1999 a great king of terror would descend from the skies (which makes me think...is it July in the story right now?)
The Hwang family's phone stops working
Miae's dresser breaks and therefore she has to take out the trash, where she sees Cheol crying
"This boy is about to be this girl's most special person, someone whom she will never be able to forget."
Episode 3
Miae and her mother visit the Buddha statue and Miae's wish is not to be in the same class with Cheol - it doesn't come true.
Miae, Cheol and Jisu all become classmates in their last year. Miae and Cheol become deskmates by coincidence.
Episode 4
Cheol's furniture becomes Miae's, along with the contents of his dresser, something only he knows about
Episode 5
Yunhui calls Miae on their new cordless phone, the line is interrupted by another conversation, "Did you get the present I sent you?" - it sounds like a message to Miae from the higher power about Cheol
Episode 8
Miae ruins her bangs, her mother says she should do something about her hair - the first time we are told Miae should go to a hairdresser to fix it
Hwanggeum Academy uses corporal punishment - might be relevant later on?
Miae has to go to karaoke so she gives up on going to the hair salon (this foreshadowing is super crazy btw)
Episode 9
Cheol is compared to the protagonist of the comic Miae reads, 'My First Love Next Door Is Number 1' - gets into trouble and transfers, fights the school bully and wins, nicknamed Lucifer, has a facial scar, lives next door
As Miae is thinking about Cheol, her thoughts are interrupted by a cockroach in the classroom
Episode 11
Miae notes how strange it is that she keeps seeing Cheol while they didn't bump into each other the previous year (just like how Jisu later keeps commenting how strange he keeps meeting Miae) - Miae acknowledges the higher power
Yunhui's pager says "between friends goodbye"
Episode 12
Miae has a weird feeling when she's talking to Cheol's shoe as if it understands what she's saying
Episode 15
In her dream, Miae remembers Cheol crying and her making a wish with a stone tower about how she wants to be his friend. The phone suddenly rings, the TV becomes static and there's a storm outside despite the weather forecast not saying anything about it. The other end of the phone is silent and the lights go out.
Episode 17
Cheol's shoe gets smudged with ink so Miae cannot give it back to him. She cannot concentrate on her practice test, foreshadowing her involvement with Cheol's academy.
Episode 21
Miae again remembers some memories about Cheol saying he doesn't want to be her friend while she's sleeping
Side note: while Soonkki is a great writer, there's some inconsistency about Jisu's seating arrangement. I think she always meant him to sit in Block 1, that's why we got limited panels of that area of the classroom, but his position kept changing until his official introduction. Here, he should have been sitting in front of Seonghan, but there's another boy in that seat. In episode 23, we get a panel of Block1 again, and there's a boy who looks like Jisu from behind in that.
She again remembers her time with Cheol while sleeping on the bus
Episode 24
Daebak Academy notebook says "The teacher is spoon-feeding you, so why can't you pass" -> the higher power is giving hints to Miae, why can't she understand them?
Episode 29
Miae thinks about how she doesn't bump into Cheol as much as before, we get a close-up of the shoe and the Daebak Academy notebook
Episode 37
Miae falls on Cheol while playing soccer
Episode 39
Miae and Cheol are arguing but still bump into each other because of their parents
While Miae thinks about how Cheol should smile at people, she almost gets hit by a ball but Cheol saves her.
Episode 40
Cheol goes to Miae's house to do their homework. Miae's mother says she wonders if it will rain before she leaves. Cheol tries to change the lightbulb in Miae's room, but the lights go out because of the storm. Miae thinks "again?" and they fall on each other. She tells Cheol they should be friends.
Episode 41
Cheol agrees to be Miae's friend and we see a flashback of young Miae wishing they would be friends. While they are doing their homework the rain stops. Miae says planes even fly in the rain and Cheol replies that airplanes fly above the clouds.
Episode 42
Miae answers their phone and the line is interrupted again. Someone thanks their boss for the present and says they will do well on their own from now. -> is it a sign Miae should do well on her own after the hints?
Interesting to note that every time Miae might be involved with the higher power, certain objects in her room are highlighted - Cheol's shoe, the lamp, the notebooks. They all give signs to Miae that she keeps ignoring.
Episode 43
Cheol and Yonghui point out that Miae should get a haircut. Miae ends up cutting it herself instead of going to a salon.
Episode 45
Miae wishes upon a star instead of a plane so that the presentation in class will go okay. This actually comes true, as also noted by the narrator in ep 46.
Episode 46
Daebak Academy booklet says "nothing comes easy"
Episode 47
Something I've noticed is that throughout the story Miae keeps thinking she forgot something, and there's usually a situation that seems like the answer to it. Here, it turns out she forgot about Jinseop's homework. And Taekwang's song is about how someone cannot do both things at the same time. It was the same when she forgot about her homework while playing soccer. Forgetting about things is a recurring plot point for Miae, which culminates in the Jisu subplot where we learn Miae completely forgot about his existence even though she didn't have many friends who were boys.
Episode 50
Cheol's father wants to take a picture of Cheol and Miae, but Cheol refuses
Episode 51
Miae again cuts her own hair and wonders if she cut it too straight
Episode 55
Cheol kicks Miae's pencil into Jisu's chair (side note: you can see here again how Jisu's seating arrangement was inconsistent, he should have been closer to the window)
Episode 56
Miae gets sent out to the corridor with Jisu
Miae's friends talk about handsome boys and someone mentions the number1 student (Jisu)
Episode 60
Jisu becomes Miae's folk dance partner - the first time Cheol and Miae are not doing something together
Episode 61
Hwanggeum Academy booklet says "there's nothing you can't do if you put the work in, do not expect a miracle" when Miae is struggling with the dance
Episode 65
Cheol's father takes a picture of Cheol and Miae after the sports festival
Episode 66
In Miae's dream, Cheol's sister says for a while means 5-6 yrs, Miae counts she will be in middle school by then. There's also a memory of Miae running after Cheol, saying "wait for me".
Miae's mother tells her to get a haircut but Miae replies she needs a bigger allowance for it.
The narrator says Miae should watch where she's walking after she bumps into Cheol.
Episode 67
Miae loses her name tag and Jisu finds it
Episode 70
Miae wonders how her wishes never come true, but remembers she also made one with the stone tower as a kid, but cannot recall what it was about.
Episode 71
Miae's mom notes their phone keeps ringing since yesterday. The day before Miae wanted to tease Cheol with how she heard him saying he "loved her" in the shop and she saw him shirtless the same night.
Miae doesn't realize it was Jisu who called her a pervert
Episode 72
Miae notices someone wearing her name tag (Jisu), but doesn't find the culprit
Episode 75
Cheol wants to ask Miae something, but the homeroom teacher interrupts. Miae and Jisu get called to the teachers' room and have to do cleaning duty together for a week.
Episode 76
We see Miae's mom at a hair salon - could the lady in orange be Jisu's mother? who knows
Episode 77
Cheol stands up for Miae, but when Honggyu asks if they are dating, they both vehemently deny it. It suddenly starts raining.
Episode 78
Miae and cheol promise to be friends for real, forever. The narration comments, "But will they end up regretting their promise?". The rain stops. "1999, the final year of the century is half over" -> Miae's story is half over at this point. I have pointed out this before, but the series seems to be about the transition period between childhood and young adulthood, symbolized by the last year before the new millennium. Hence the title, 'green apple academy'
In her dream, Miae remembers asking Cheol if they are friends. She is awoken by their phone. the Daebak Academy notebook says "you are in danger if you are relaxed" and we see a girl talking to Cheol.
Episode 81
Cheol and Miae fall on each other and almost kiss, but the phone rings. Later, they do end up in the same position with an accidental kiss.
Episode 82
Miae wants to confront Cheol about the kiss and gets embarrassed, but her actions are interrupted when the trash bag she gave Jisu splits open, spilling its contents. Miae runs to him to collect it.
Episode 83
While Miae talks to her friends, she thinks back on her memories with Cheol and the narration says "I always liked.." and Miae looks surprised by it.
Episode 86
Interesting detail that Cheol doesn't know why Miae keeps looking at airplanes. If we assume she has a reason for doing it from the past, it's likely not related to Cheol.
Episode 87
Miae uses the trashbag as an excuse to run away from Cheol, repeating how she has to throw it out. All of a sudden, Jisu appears and takes it out of her hand, giving her a chance to run. It's just my personal theory that the trashbag here symbolizes Miae's vulnerability and reluctance to face her feelings, and Jisu takes it from her hand. It makes sense when we remember how his words made her think about her actions when she wanted to interrupt the confession. It's a great early foreshadowing that Jisu might play an important role in Miae's growth story as her voice of reason.
Episode 89
Cheol and Miae take photos together in a photo booth, first with Jinseop and Song-I, then the two of them alone. We don't know if Miae still has her pictures, but we can assume she somehow lost them during running around from the bullies because we never see them again. Cheol gives her a new name tag in the next episode.
Episode 95
Cheol gifts Miae an airplane model for her birthday. I personally believe this episode marks the end of the first part of the story and it's a turning point, but more about this under ep96.
While Miae leaves for school, their phone suddenly rings and her mom answers it. Miae sees posters about love on her way to school. For the first time, Jisu arives early for cleaning duty.
Episode 96
The series has had 2 symbolic illustrations at the end of 2 episodes. The first one was at the end of ep2, when Cheol and Miae's story started in the present:
Miae is offering a green apple to Cheol - a biblical allusion, here, the green apple probably signifies how Miae helps Cheol in the first part of the story to mature and grow as a person with her own knowledge.
This illustration comes at the end of ep96. Like I mentioned, I believe this marks the start of the second half of the story which focuses on Miae's growth as a person. Space is an important concept in the series, Miae also has planet stickers on the wall of her room,has a charm on her bag, etc.
"16 years old. An age much like the universe." "16 years old. An age where it's like you're thrown into space." - highlights the narration.
But why is it compared to space? We have the illustration right after Jisu splashes water on Miae's face and Cheol wakes up from his dream. In my opinion, it's because this is where these kids' limited worlds start to expand. In part 1, Cheol and Miae were mainly together, but as you grow up you start to feel like you're just one insignificant part of a greater whole. You might feel like you're the center of the universe when you're a teenager, and that the world is ending when you experience negative emotions, but as the illustration shows us, it's not just Miae and Cheol standing alone in the universe. There are other people, facing different directions, but they are all interconnected by an invisible force. Miae is looking at Cheol, but Jisu is standing in her shadow- because even though she was not aware of him, Jisu had his own life happening parallel to what we saw in part1, and this is where he starts to have an intersection with Miae. If there is a higher power in the story, it is aware of all these connections and talks about youth in a nostalgic way. The sense that these moments are fleeting is always present in the story, however, connections formed between individuals will always have a lasting impact, just like how the universe will continue to exist. Being thrown into space might feel like losing your footing, but here it's the personal relationships that ground these teenagers and make them stay close to Earth.
Episode 98
The teacher tells Miae to cut her hair after Jisu takes the blame for ruining the plant.
Cheol is acting strange because of his dream, and while Jisu looks at Miae the narration box says: "16 years old. An age riddled with the unknown, just like the universe."
Episode 99
Miae's hair gets stuck in the zipper of Cheol's bag and he pulls it out, ruining her bangs in the process. They go to the infirmary after Miae gets scratched by the zipper.
Episode 100
At the countryside, while Miae picked a flower she thought how nice it would be if Cheol came to her school - and it became true. She thinks how it was so strange -> Miae again unknowingly acknowledges the higher power when it comes to Cheol
Episode 101
It's raining and the TV is not working in Cheol's home. He remembers taking a picture with Miae in the countryside. He asks his father about the picture on the sports day -> the data was lost. Miae gets grounded by her mother and she wants her to quit the academy.
Episode 102
I've mentioned symbolic objects in the story, but this one was noted by other readers as well: in ep 101, Miae accidentally drops the chalkboard eraser out of the window and Jisu fails to catch it - but Cheol does. However, in this episode Miae tosses it back to Jisu before saying she hopes they'll never see each other again (it's the first, but not the last time she declares it).
Cheol fails to convince Miae's mom about the academy -> Miae's mom points out Miae's grades have been dropping since last year. She makes her stance clear - she wants Miae to study.
Episode 103
It's raining and Miae cannot open Cheol's drawer in her room.
She tries to cut her hair, but the phone rings. On the other line, Miae hears someone saying "I only did what I did because you wanted it so bad, but you screwed up that chance! You don't deserve that project, I'm going to hand it to someone else." -> the first time the higher power tries to directly say Miae is late
Miae's mom cuts her hair instead of sending her to a salon...
Miae loses the name tag Cheol gave her
Episode 104
Jisu says "see you again" to Miae (and will keep saying for a while lol). Miae points out she never wanted to see him again.
Episode 106
After the teacher discovers their conversations in class, Miae and Cheol get separated and Miae becomes Jisu's deskmate. Miae and Cheol are not allowed to interact until the final exams are over.
Hwanggeum Academy's notebook remarks "Do you regret it now?"
Episode 107
Miae dreams about the flower from the countryside and a voice says she should hurry up and do what she wants about her wish if she remembers. She doesn't remember and the voice gets angry, Cheol appears and crushes the flower, telling her if she doesn't remember she should just forget it. The voice remarks Cheol is angry because Miae is late.
Episode 111
Jisu, who has also become aware of the coincidences, tells Cheol he's not the only one having something special with Miae.
When Miae calls Jisu her friend from the same class and tells him he should learn for himself, Jisu tries to say something, but he is interrupted by Cheol.
Episode 112
Miae thinks about their bet and how she should ask something serious, something more than friends do from Cheol, and we get a bunch of error messages. Cheol's dream is all fuzzy.
Jisu wins the bet, but we never get to know his wish because Miae gets angry at him.
Episode 115
The narration points out Cheol has changed and matured a lot, is it Miae's turn?
Episode 116
We see some posters about a summer festival, the forest in Midsummer Night's Dream and how everything is the product of coincidence.
The forest in Shakespeare's play is dominated by the supernatural - what we have in common with this story is the forest Miae and Cheol played together as kids, and obviously the involvement of a higher power. The coincidences poster is possibly a reference to Carl Jung's Synchronicity, a concept that states that seemingly meaningful coincidences have a deeper meaning, they don't have a rational explanation - almost like destiny, a deeper order in the universe. It's a connection between one's psyche and the material world (so you have to notice and acknowledge the deeper meaning of these coincidences in order to experience synchronicity). Jung used this to argue for the existence of the paranormal. For example, if you cannot decide something, you might come across a book on the topic. What a coincidence, right? In this interpretation, everything is interconnected in the universe, and we are a part of this web of connections. So those coincidences...were actually not coincidences. -> Hmmmmm.....I wonder.....meaningful coincidences, the universe, connections...why do they sound familiar??? BECAUSE OUR STORY IS EXACTLY ABOUT THIS NOTION! Who notices these coincidences? Miae about Cheol, Jisu about Miae....One has to be open to the possibility of the connection between our inner world and the outside world, only then they can start to notice the signs the universe is sending them. Soonkki, you deserve my applause! Because it was exactly what I said about the art at the end of ep 96 and the placement of the characters. Mind? Blown!
Miae thinks that she feels something is wrong
Yunhui's pager says friends goodbye
Jisu gets involved in the Yonghui-Yunhui storyline by coincidence
Episode 117
We see all the coincidences from Jisu's perspective and how he became aware of them. And what does he say about them? That they are fascinating and kind of funny! My boy Jisu got the synchronicity message.
This is the 3rd time Miae and Jisu didn't hold hands. The first time Miae pretended to help him up, only for him to fall back. Then Jisu held out his hand after the exam, but she didn't take it. Here, he again reaches out and Miae doesn't take his hand. Remember this later!
Episode 118
Someone steps on Cheol's bag, and he's worried it might be Taeuk
Jisu wants to join in another bet in exchange for his help
Episode 119
Jisu gets involved in the Shim storyline, and as we know from later he picks up the cigarettes to get revenge on him
Episode 122
Miae learns that Cheol rejected Seonyeong and the lights flicker in her room
She cannot remember her dream. The narration says that she should have realized that something changed.
Episode 123
Miae notes that she experienced the kiss in the comic book with Cheol
Jisu almost catches her, but Cheol pushes him away
Episode 126
The parents are having dinner together at a pig feet restaurant and toast for the future of their children. The TV is not working, and a boy who looks like Jisu tries to fix it.
Miae kisses Cheol
Episode 127
Miae has a dream again in the white dress. As she realizes she might like Cheol, the voice says she's too late and there's no use regretting it.
Episode 129
Miae remembers that they took a picture in the countryside together and wants to take one now. She makes a wish to an airplane about how she just wants one photo, and remarks that the planes never granted her wish before. Spoiler, they won't this time, either.
Miae chooses to take the picture with Cheol. The narration box says "she's always done whatever she sets her mind to. That has always been one of her better attributes. But Mi-ae, it seems as though you keep forgetting something. I told you, you're too late."
The pager's message means idiot, cancelled and it suddenly starts raining. Maie and Cheol cannot take their photo and Cheol cannot give her back the hairpin she dropped a few eps ago.
Episode 132
Graduation photos were postponed until the second semester
In Miae's dream, the voice says she's all over the place and cannot decide what she wants from Cheol. In her memory, Miae wishes at the stone tower that Cheol would like her back. The voice angrily remarks how it must not mean much to her.
Episode 133
While Cheol and Miae are looking at each other, Miae is smacked in the face by a flyer. Later while they are riding the bike, Cheol almost says she looks pretty but he is hit in the face with a flyer that belonged to Jisu.
Episode 134
Miae takes the cigarettes from Jisu and puts them in her backpack
While Jisu and Miae look at each other, the narration box says "Well. this is what we would call fate. What do you think?" Miae can sense the voice and dismisses it.
Jisu again says "see you later" and Miae answers let's not, but Jisu replies they never know and it would be fun.
On the radio in Miae's room there's a voice speaking, asking if it was a success and how there is something you can't stop thinking about. "A friend? The fact that you weren't wrong? Whatever it is, I don't think it's such a bad thing to obsess over it a little bit. I hope you have no regrets about it."
Episode 135
Miae's eyebrow and bangs are so ruined she has to finally go to a hair salon. Yunhui gives her money and says there's a cheap place where she can go. It turns out Jisu's mother is a hairdresser and after realizing she is Jisu's friend, she doesn't ask for money. So if anyone ever wondered why Miae kept ruining her hair in the story, here's the answer....
a little bit of strange wording here:
The narration says "Now that I think about it, this was about the time..wait,no, it was a little bit earlier that things started to go wrong, little by little. You two were completely oblivious, though. Just you two."
Miae's mother goes to the academy. One theory I can give on this is that Miae's family might be moving. She wished for it at the start of the story, mentions it in a later episode as well. Who knows ~
Episode 138
Miae doesn't tell Cheol her feelings because of her pride as she feels like she would lose first
Miae has a feeling as if something is trying to make her look bad in front of Cheol and her gun suddenly starts working
Everybody forgot to buy the picture they took together in ep 139
Episode 140
After conveying their feelings indirectly to each other, Miae tells Cheol they cannot date right now because her mom wouldn't allow it. She plans to go to the same high school, university, everything and thinks there's no one to stop them so nothing can go wrong.
Episode 141
Cheol imagines high school together with Miae and their friends
Every time Cheol is flustered, he accidentally drinks his sister's coffee and he cannot sleep at night..in a story where dreams are relevant I'm sure this is just a coincidence, right???🧐🙃😏
Miae says they should not be obvious before the entrance exam and they start to think of it as a competition
Someone watches them from the street
Episode 144-145
We get everything from Cheol's POV
Cheol got his scar because he wanted to give Miae the romance book she liked before they left and he fell on the stone tower
The picture his dad took of them is about a young Cheol accidentally kneeling with flowers in his hands, the same flowers from Miae's dream, in front of Miae. This picture was in the book Cheol and his family kept.
Cheol realized the book was in his dresser that is now in Miae's room, the one she couldn't open before
Episode 146
Miae sees two flyers in the newspaper, one is about how a student still didn't give it up, the other is about changing one's car
On the street, the same car ads keep flying after her in the wind
Miae goes with Yonghui to wait in a line and the same flyers are all over the place
Episode 147
Miae wants to call Cheol, but Jisu stops her. Miae notices how often they have met during vacation, and Jisu says these coincidences are fun. He remarks it's almost like as if some higher power is involved (!!). Miae is standing on the car ad, they look down on it with Jisu, then she kicks it away. Jisu tells her he has a feeling they will meet again, but Miae hopes they won't.
The academy is also full of the car ads and Miae falls on them
Miae thinks that for a while she's had a feeling as if something wants to get between her and Cheol, but brushes it off
Miae ends up with a bubble gum in her hair and goes to Jisu's house to fix it. Jisu tells her she should stay because he is bored, and there is a car ad on a stool.
Episode 148
We see some of Jisu's childhood memories and he was called a magpie by Miae which was a symbolic choice (I also made a post about it). Jisu in this story is the grateful magpie.
Miae and Jisu "touch hands" for the first time when they high-five (I wrote about how their hand hold never happened before)
After spotting some men smoking, Jisu tells Miae to go inside (one of them might be his father?)
Episode 149
Miae finally remembers Jisu
the narration boxs keeps saying how Jisu is cool and showing heart-thumping sounds and Miae is confused about these strange things
Miae not remembering Jisu was an important plot point considering she recalled everyone else from her past. As I theorized, memories and fate seem to be intertwined, the synchronicity theory also supports this. Synchronicity happens when seemingly unrelated events coincide and they become significant to you. It's easy to see why Jisu was aware of this notion, but Miae was not - because Miae had no idea about those coincidences other than meeting Jisu randomly. Him being her classmate, being the one who found her pencil, who helped her in the crowd, found her name tag, etc. - only Jisu knew about these. But right now, Miae was made aware that they knew each other in the past - a pretty big coincidence.
So now that Miae might have kickstarted her own fate, the question is whether she will be able to fight it or if there are certain things bound to happen no matter what. Is the narrator omnipotent and omniscient? So many questions that will hopefully get answered.
Episode 150
For the first time, Miae says she and Jisu will see each other again sometime. Before this, it was always Jisu who said it and Miae would reply that she didn't want to meet him again.
Miae remembers Jisu transferring, but doesn't know why he singled her out (so she will probably recall more memories later)
As Miae leaves Jisu's house, the car ads are flying in the air around her
Jisu enrolls at the academy and for the first time he says it's not a coincidence
Episode 155
Hwani tells her mother it would be great if they could keep being neighbours with Miae because she's fun. After a pause, Cheol's mother agrees.
Jisu keeps telling Miae she's a "traitor" or "bat" (depending on the translation, meaning she keeps secrets from others like the Yonghui Yunhui situation and the fact that she went to Jisu's house) and she might get into trouble because of that
Episode 156
The narrator directly communicates with Miae again, and informs us about Miae's thoughts. It makes heart-thumping sounds when she's with Jisu just like in previous episodes, but Miae ignores them.
Jisu again says how the coincidences are so fun. He counts to three until the teacher interrupts Miae and Cheol's bickering (similarly to Taekwang in ep 158)
When Jisu tells Miae he'll go out of the room to let her talk with Cheol, Miae thinks she'll talk to him regardless of anyone's interference and we get a close-up of an academy notebook saying 'NO' and a plane flying in the sky.
Episode 158
Flashforward in the episode to a scene with Cheol leaving Miae at the academy while a storm is coming and Miae looks like she's about to cry
An hour earlier in the story the dark clouds are already gathering (I mentioned how rainy weather is always connected to the change in Miae and Cheol's relationship, and how it's usually an ominous sign). After seeing Jisu's flustered face, Cheol tells Miae that he wants to change the lightbulb in her house before she gets hurt. The lights at the academy are highlighted as they keep vibrating. (I also noted how the lights are signs of the supposed higher power, they get their own panels in Miae's room, and they went out 2 times when Miae and Cheol's relationship changed)
After Jisu reveals that Miae was in his house and Cheol gets angry, Miae's pager starts buzzing (again, the pager messages always appear when the higher power wants to communicate with Miae).
Taekwang is an interesting character because the things he says are sometimes connected to the greater theme of the story. Like when he listened to his music and said how Miae cannot choose two things at the same time (come on, it was the foreshadowing for the current conflicts!), he smelled Jisu on Miae (???), Jisu even said he's the one he cannot deal with, and now he was counting the seconds until Miae got another sign. Is he used as a medium? (who knows lol)
Miae wants to check the pager message but the fluorescent lamp(?) breaks. Jisu shields Miae from the shards while they fall on the ground, making it his first successful attempt to save Miae in the story. The pager lands in the corner of the room.
Episode 159
Miae goes to a phone booth to check her messages and it's filled with the car ads so she kicks them away
The first message is a loud noise of a song recording. I personally think if there's a higher power in the story, this message came from it. The other is about Miae's friends telling her they'll visit her at her academy which gives Miae a sense of panic knowing Yonghui and Yunhui might meet.
Miae sees an airplane in the sky and the narration says Miae has a feeling that something is interfering with her and the panels get fuzzy with flashbacks to phone calls earlier in the story (omg this is actually crazy)
It starts raining and we get a glimpse of the last countryside memory we haven't seen yet about Miae running after Cheol at night. In the present, Miae trips just as she did as a kid, but instead of Cheol she meets Tae Uk.
#aslfua#after school lessons for unripe apples#theory#this became so long I feel like dying lol#there's so much work behind this so please be kind and respectful about it#no this is not a post about how Miae and Jisu should end up together#these are my observations about the story and the role of the supernatural entity#it's not a shipping post#sorry for the mistakes#but I'm incredibly tired#These kids are 15 stop arguing about their love lives#Meta
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TBB cadets ideas
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#star wars fanart#more to come maybe idk#Anyway#idk how fanartists manage to get their chara right I couldn't#hope they're at least recognizable#I'm too tired to clean them anyway#BTW I got my broken tooth fixed#I mean ...more like vital prognosis engaged#Dentist scolded me#deserved#It was really the meme “you live like this??” but with my mouth#anyway at least they'll have a fun story to talk about at party I guess#oh last time I got a PATIENT#WTF#like first she hadn't seen anyone since YEARS#then she went livid when I told her I had to operate#she was probably on the verge of a panic attack I had to reassure her like EVERY five minutes like a child#can you fill my glass again thanks#I mean I've got several friends working in medical I know how it is ^^;#Now my whole jaw aches#and I'm hungry ofc#ANYWAY#if you excuse me#I'm gonna roll myself in a burrito and cry
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wow, imagine having, like, a consistent art style, that's crazyyyyy, couldn't be me fr fr
anyway, prince!regulus who runs away from the castle and has to live with his brother, regretting his life decisions 5 minutes in (he actually likes the clothes, he just doesn't want to admit it)
(plus a little close up 'cause he looks so good, i'm so proud)
#tried a different style with this one#actually like it a lot#will use it again#ALSO#regulus with narcissa's white hair thingy#the idea lives rent free in my mind it's crazy#marauders fandom#the marauders#marauders era#marauders#slytherin skittles#artists on tumblr#regulus black#digital art#jegulus#starchaser#regulus arcturus black#the most ancient and noble house of black#black brothers#it's 2am i'm so tired#i actually posted this on the wrong blog#and had to like post it all again#uuugh#dead gay wizards from the 70s#dead gay wizards
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I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something#positive instead#this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling#their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it#i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them#i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be#safe from our oppressors#and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN'#guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too#trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men#if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors#so#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off#and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer#feminism#misogyny#sexism#patriarchy#tw men#tw rape#tw abuse#misandry#terfs dni#radfems dni#feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit#men are entitled to nothing from us#and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling#ok? ok.
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the dumbification of jason todd despite all we've seen he's capable of is caused by adult men who dick ride batman so hard i'm sure they get wet at the sound of his name
#stop letting batman superfans write jason comics!!!#the white elitist view needs to stop im so tired#like yes billionaire bruce wayne believes in the redemption of petty criminals more than jason fucking todd-#the child who stole for a living on the streets and whose father was a petty criminal to provide for his family#yes jason todd the kid who grew up in gotham's most forgotten and overlooked area would want death for all small time crooks#i'm so tired#it's genuinely just so disheartening#how on earth was he written better in the 80s and early 2000s#the classism was still there but fuck it was tackled better#now it's just full on classism and dumbification and elitist dickriding#jason todd#red hood#batman#dc#jason peter todd#bruce wayne#dc comics
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Children these days😒
#has a vision#kinda nailed it tbh#tw blood#probably...#erm#cw dismemberment#kind of. bc of the loose body parts#cw bright colors#kind of#anyways#nightmare sans#sans au#utmv#undertale au#UwU#kinda wanna restart my identity again#that'd mean leaving the blog and stuffs..#but I don't exactly wanna live certain people behind..... inactivity is more likely#and there's something I gotta do. so maybe. next year maybe#idk I'm tired. see how I feel next year ig
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Hello, I'm not sure if you're aware, but tumblr is going to start helping midjourney gather data for their AI. You're one of the artists I follow here pretty actively and I wanted to warn you to maybe start nighshading your art before posting it here so it doesn't get swept up!
I've seen a couple of posts about it. Feeling disappointed but not that surprised. Also not excited about having to start nightshading/glazing my pieces but if there isn't going to be any serious regulations regarding data scraping and ai "art", there aren't a lot of choices.
Thank you for taking the time to warn me just in case, it was very thoughtful of you!
#from what I've seen the effectiveness of nightshade/glaze has been debated and I don't even pretend to understand how it works#but like watermarks it's at least some kind of preventive measure a token effort to stop your art from being stolen and misused#but I fear that if someone is determined to do it anyway chances are they will find a way unfortunately#this shouldn't be the reality of trying to share art online#it's a pretty dismal situation when this responsibility falls on the artists themselves#I've been here since 2011 I've lived through multiple tumblr apocalypses I'm not leaving unless they make this place wholly unlivable#and I don't think there are truly good alternatives with similar sense of community and as varied posting and customization options#it seems like every other major social media platform is doing this exact same thing if not worse#answered#ohdeergood#I'm tired we're all tired of this
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I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd
#ofmd#there are no other shows like this one#I'm so tired of media that repeats the same idea that you need to hit a list of predetermined therapy milestones (determined by who???)#before you can fall in love#I'm honestly tired of fic that does this with ed and stede too#because guess what#you can live in the 21st century with access to therapy and dsm diagnosis and a bunch of different medications and you can be doing all the#right things and still be a trainwreck!!!#putting in the work doesn't mean you're gonna become perfect and never have problem again any more than falling in love doesn't mean you'll#never have problems again#I'll forever be crying on my knees levels of grateful for the unique writing on this show#for saying that it's okay you can be a mess you can take one step forward and three steps back and you'll still always be deserving#of love and grace and forgiveness#you don't have to do anything to deserve you deserve it just because you exist#i love this show with my entire heart#alex watches ofmd
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y'know what makes me sad?
this.
and this.
#niko rambles#like holy shit.#they were children once. they didn't know what their lives had in store.#it's too late for me to have these feelings. i'm so tired
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the fact that they've been blindly deceived
by those who preach, and pray and teach...
A Garashir thing I've been messing around with on and off for a while, featuring lyrics from the song 'Lion's Roar' by First Aid Kit! That song gives me such big post-war Cardassia Garashir feelings, they could trade off singing parts of it to each other and it would fit perfectly.
#garashir#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#julian bashir#elim garak#I could have kept futzing with this for a long time yet but like... I'm letting it go I think the feeling is basically there#and that's mostly what I'm interested in haha. I'm so tired detail work just makes me cry I have to focus on capturing Feels#my art#alexander siddig is one of the most beautiful people who've ever lived and I swear to god it's SO HARD#to capture his likeness properly like... there's something so *specific* about his face that makes it so stunning#and it's so elusive to me when I try to put it into words or pin it to the page but it's self-evident when you look at him. maddening#me @ me: skill issue (mine that is)
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One thing that's starting to really get to me with the James Somerton stuff is a real strong undercurrent of disdain toward his fans. And yeah, I was one of them. A good scam artist isn't as easy to spot as y'all seem to think. You forget that you have all the information right now. Two days ago most of you had never heard of him and it would have kept going. Anyone can fall for a scam, nobody is immune. I would love to have had whatever resources you guys think we all should magically know about so I could have kept my sad $5 a month I really needed but thought was going to something worthwhile. Some of us can only devote so much energy into things and when you have no idea whatsoever that something is amiss of course you're not going to go digging for sources, why would you when everything is fine as far as you know? I really wish I could have seen the dissenting opinions on him but for many, many reasons that aren't just that the dissenting voices weren't widely circulating at the time all I had was the thought every now and again that "huh that doesn't seem right" and then go on with my day. And I think that happened to a lot of us. So yeah. Say what you gotta say about Somerton, he has more than earned it with the damage he's caused, but maybe don't shit so hard on his former fans because that is going to be you someday with something, it happens to everyone sooner or later.
#james somerton#hbomberguy#todd in the shadows#I really am greatful for Harris and Todd's hard work in exposing all of this#and I am glad I get to see the real voices I did like that james was stealing#I'm just tired of all these people jumping on the drama train taking a dump on folks who are also victims of these crimes#razz rambles#this whole situation is upsetting me in the weirdest ways#I'm distraught but I'm not at the same time#and yet it's 6am and I can't stop reading through the tags and seeing the takes I missed#vaspider's essay and remarks from an AIDS pandemic survivor are especially good#I lived through that shit too but had no idea I was living through it#cuz that's what being blind and impoverished in rural community was like#queer wasn't even something I knew I could be until like 2010#so it's nice to see my own history#it's not just the young queers who have little to no knowledge of our history
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