#i'm ill and rambling

[doctorbrown]

Doc's own physical clock being so screwy in a superpowered AU because of his abilities resulting in strange aging patterns that don't quite follow the norm - since that rejuvenation that adds an extra thirty-forty years to his life is such an important plot point at the start of pt.2 I'm always going to look for a way to incorporate that, as well as the discrepancies that'll arise from his written age (following the simply linear progression of time) to his actual/temporal age (taking into account the time accrued while hopping in and out and around the timestream).

He's never not gonna be an old man because that's very important to his character, his many years of experiences, but looks'll be a little bit deceiving always.

[misteria247]

I'm going to throw something and become violently ill

Ford was so on edge, like he was pacing and all tense and then Stanley touched his shoulder. And like immediately Ford relaxes, his posture loses some of the stiffness it had. He stopped pacing, and just let's Stan touch him.

Even when he's losing his fucking mind, hasn't slept in God knows how long, and he's mad at his brother, Stanford still finds comfort in Stanley. Even after everything and all the hurt and miscommunication between them, Stanford still essentially trusts his brother when it really counts. Stan gives Ford comfort and the feeling of safety with just a gentle hand on the shoulder and a concerned "Easy there, let's talk this through." That's all it takes to get Ford to stop everything.

Fuck these two I hate (affectionate) them so much 😭

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Souped!

[crows-of-buckets]

Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?

Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me

[yesterdayshistory]

Sometimes it feels like there’s just this black hole inside me that everything disappears into and I’m left to experience nothing

[gingermaple]

*sticks mic in your face* start rambling about the roleswapverse plz?

with pleasure!!!

the entire premise is (as the name would suggest) that all the characters roles are swapped. scar and grian are no longer the heros hotguy and cuteguy, and instead their roles are filled by pearl and gem (hotgal and cutegal). as such, scar and grian now fill their previous roles as the villains spectacle (scour) and bleeding heart (bleeding hart). while the roles are all swapped everyone keeps their original mutations.

pearl is still a journalist, but now she also takes matters into her own hands as the vigilante hotgal, alongside her trusty sidekick gem/cutegal, a soldier who feels she finally has something worth fighting for.

funny enough, their first meeting/general dynamic goes a lot smoother than it does for the boys in canon, with their first meeting being pearl saving gem instead of shooting her (looking at you hotguy)

scar (spectacle) is a villain who believes everybody should be able to be their 'true self'. he's very flashy, changes his costume with every appearance, and doesn't like to get his hands dirty. instead he has a ton of henchmen he calls 'stagehands' to do things for him.

grian (bleeding heart) is his primary stagehand. originally a stone-cold killer who only knew how to follow orders, spectacle gave him the opportunity to have fun and express himself.

they have a very 3rd Life coded dynamic in which grian uses his position as scar's lackey to cause chaos and do what he wants with the excuse that 'he was just following orders' and scar uses grian to do his dirty work.

this au (of an au) exists in collaboration with a bunch of my fellow hgcz contributors and we're all collectively going insane over it.

[camellia-thea]

i know we talk a lot about the isolation of chronic illness and disability, but i really don't think ablebodied folk get it.

i have made one new friend in person since graduating highschool in 2020. she is my housemate's girlfriend. she stays over frequently, and the only reason we are friends is because she stays over and we have shared university papers. i would not have had the opportunity to befriend her otherwise. that is in the space of three years.

i don't go out much. i cannot guarantee that i will leave my house within any given week. technically i have class i need to go to twice a week for an hour, but those moments aren't time for friends, they're time for classwork and i don't interact with people in a social capacity there.

i simply do not get the opportunity to meet people.

i cannot go out with friends and meet new people that way, because my social circle is already so small, and i don't have the energy to go out half the time anyway. when i do, i suffer for it later.

i don't meet people on campus because i'm immuno-compromised, and ableds seem to have forgotten that we are still in a pandemic.

i don't go to clubs or go out for the sake of going out because i can't. i've grown agoraphobic, because i am so worried that something health related will happen and i'll get stuck somewhere alone. i hate leaving the house because of the guarantee of an anxiety attack which leaves my body more likely to flare. it's a vicious cycle of isolation.

i am not the only one who has experienced this -- i can still leave the house, i can still go and visit friends with assistance. i struggle, but at the end of the day, it's still an option. there are others who are completely isolated.

the worst of it is that people leave. people get tired of the 'i can't come, i'm sorry', of the 'hey, i'm sick, can we postpone?'. even people who you love and hold dearly will stop trying. and it's awful. you have to sit and watch these people who you love walk away because they can't deal with your disability. i don't have words to describe how much that hurts.

it really is impossible for ablebodied people to understand, because for the majority of us, this isn't temporary. this is just how we have to live. and your social circle can only really get smaller.

[mewos-laptop]

Friendly reminder that sometimes mental illnesses are genuinely disabling.

If your mental illness makes it difficult, impossible or harder than it should be to do certain things that would take a non-mentally ill person no effort to do, that's disabling.

If showering is a chore for you, and your ability to function and get it done fluctuates ? That's disabling.

If doing dishes is something your brain won't let you do unless under very specific circumstances ? That's disabling.

If you can't clean your room or throw anything out and so your room or house is messy and/or possibly dangerous at any given time ? That's disabling.

If you have an infinite number of these things that no matter what you try to do you can't get rid of the extreme toll it takes on you, or the time it takes you, or whatever ? You are experiencing things disabled folks experience.

Don't be ashamed to ask for help, or to talk about how your mental illness affects your ability to fuction, or even to call yourself disabled.

I have lived with a severe anxiety disorder for my entire life, and I can say that I have been very hesitant to call myself disabled for the longest time because of internalized abelism. But you know what ? I am disabled. My mental illnesses disable me, and having that term at my disposal helps ME to explain what I have to go through every single day.

I'm sending love and support to my fellow mentally ill folks, especially those who are afraid to call themselves disabled even if their disorder disables them. I hope that one day you can reach a point where you're able to use that term for yourself and not fear what anyone else tries to tell you about your own lived experiences.

[misteria247]

Imagine-

It's the fall season and Ford's actually getting a chance to enjoy it for the first time in 30 years. He's surrounded by the nibbings who are chatting a mile a minute, telling him about school and about a fall festival coming up. Close by is his twin, who's listening with a soft look. The season consists of these moments, of Ford going on walks with his grand niece and nephew. Or helping them make leaf piles for them to jump in, Dipper and Mabel's laughter always filling him with warmth. In those moments he'll sometimes mess with Stanley, pushing him into a pile and Stan will get a look of mischief and drag Ford with him. The two of them covered in dead leaves and laughing at their messy hair and crooked glasses.

On chilly nights he'll have Dipper, Mabel and Stan surrounding him on the floor or couch. The four of them in warm pjs and fluffy blankets. With movies or stories being shared between them. On frosty mornings Ford wakes up and gets coffee, and Stan will come in shortly after sleepy and needing coffee. The kids join shortly afterwards and they all enjoy a nice breakfast together.

Ford would go to different festivals, where he, Stan and the twins will try different treats like caramel and candy apples. Or take part in stands that sell delicious apple, maple, pecan or pumpkin sweets. He'll get hot chocolate for the kids and strong spiced apple cider for him and Stanley. Every day of the autumn season, Ford enjoys every moment of it, with his three favorite people in the world.

[nookisms]

Oops. It's a second headcanon compilation!

Don't worry, the next one will be back to our normal schedule of regular text posts and not headcanons

Masterpost

[jsvausvqbd]

Bae Seok Ryu and Song Hyeon Jun

Truthfully, the circumstances just weren’t in their favor, regardless of how much they loved each other and dreamed of a future together. They were faced with a huge obstacle in the form of stomach cancer, for which Hyeon Jun fully committed to being Seok ryu's caretaker, taking a sick leave from work and even putting his whole life on hold for Seok Ryu, because he loved her and wanted to be there by her side. However, Seok ryu's decision to not tell her family and close friends meant leaving Hyeon Jun- who respected her decision and even after they broke up, kept her illness hidden from her family- as her sole caretaker and support system, which was bound to take a toll on him as well sooner or later.

After her treatment ended, they were yet faced with another huge blow in the form of depression -none of which are Seok ryu's fault by the way. But once again Hyeon Jun was left as her sole source of support. Now, I'm not saying that one's partner isn't supposed to be there (I mean, "in sickness and in health", right?), but it's clear that it was too much for him at this point. This reminded me of a cancer research conference I attended years ago, where one of the discussed topics was caretaker burnout and the importance of respite for them, both the sick person and those around them are greatly affected both physically and mentally, and that's what we saw in the episode; Two exhausted people who, despite loving each other, just couldn't bear with how exhausted they were and Hyeon Jun ended up snapping. Does this mean he's a shitty person? No, we saw him be by Seok ryu's side through thick and thin, but at last he was tired and snapped in a moment of desperation. This sadly just means they just weren't what the other needed at the moment anymore, and this is a very realistic portrayal of relationships where there isn't respite nor a proper support system.

I do think he loves her and feels guilty for being so burnt out, but sadly she's ready to move on and that's all that's left for him to do now. Move on.

This sets up a huge challenge for Seung hyo tho, how do you get through her walls when she’s seen first hand what can happen to a relationship when faced with adversities? She said it herself, she’ll be constantly on the lookout for her cancer possibly coming back or even spreading. How can he convince her that he won’t burn out? How can you convince someone who knows firsthand that sometimes love is not enough? Good luck Charlie!

[malaierba]

Kabru and Toshiro

[pinacolada-posts]

the lesbians 🤝 the chronically ill

loving Logan Sargeant

[saltpepperbeard]

no but like...

"i love everything about you."

ed hates parts of himself. ed struggles with elements of self-loathing. ed hates who he has to be, hates the mask that he has to maintain. ed's likely going to be so so pained and so so disheartened to have to keep up the darkened persona that he was trying so so hard to rid himself of...

and then stede is going to come in and drop that.

stede is going to tell him that he loves everything about him. everything. his talent, his beauty, his sense of humor, his prowess. his flaws, his weak spots, his baggage, his bloodied hands...

everything.

everything.

stede is going to see him for him. and love him twice as much.

[dagwmeno]

ummmmmm some killer x dust would be awesom..

Ding ding food is served!! Eat up!!

[philsmeatylegss]

Me bopping to a song whose chorus is about passive suicidal ideation and waiting for death to experience less pain for the next few weeks