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jerzwriter · 3 years

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Delaying the Inevitable - Chapter 17: With a Little Help From My Friends

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Tobias Carrick x F!MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter: Tobias struggles with his feelings before confronting Ethan; Casey returns to work and gets a surprise; Tobias shares a “break-up night” with Casey; the friends plan a trip to a pumpkin patch, but things don’t go as planned; Casey has another encounter with Ethan at Donahue’s.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Angst, drinking, language

CHECK OUT ALL THE A/N's SERIOUSLY :) I need to calm some nerves out there.

A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you are all well! Some perspective on this series. It’s a love triangle folks. There are three in the mix. When the series started, it was heavy Casey/Ethan for a long time and some were asking, where is the triangle? I had to tell them… it’s coming. Now, some are asking why isn’t she back with Ethan? Why is Ethan being a jerk? It’s a long story. We’re just a little more than halfway through and there is much to happen yet. At the end, Casey has to make a choice, so clearly, Casey and Ethan’s story is not over, nor is Casey & Tobias’s. So, sit back, relax and enjoy the show. 😊

A/N 2: Some Ethan fans don’t want to read until he is back in the mix. Hey, I can’t make you, but then you’ll miss a lot and, even if you come back later, it won’t feel the same. I’ve said from the start, this story will delve deeper. It’s going to show humanity, all three main players are human and will make mistakes – yet they are all really good people. No demons here, just flawed people like you and me. Just a reminder!

A/N 3: There is some really cool stuff coming up. Really cool in good ways, and some in dramatic ways. Personally, I’m excited for Chapter 18. Watch for the Sunday Six for a sneak peek.

AN/4: I’m not apologizing for long chapters anymore because y’all seem OK with it. I don’t know what that says, but I appreciate it. (And I've decided to apologize anyway!) 😊 Please continue to send me your comments and feedback – it’s always appreciated, and I want to make sure you get the best story I can give you. As always, thanks for reading – you’re the best!

Timeframe of this chapter: Early to Mid-October

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs always appreciated. 😊

Tobias rolled over for what felt like the hundredth. Snippets of the evening continued to replay in his head, no matter how hard he tried to stop them. Casey standing in front of Donahue’s wearing his Johns Hopkins shirt. He didn’t pick it out. She did. But that’s probably just because it’s from his med school days. It was smaller, it’s probably what fit her best. Yeah, that’s all it was. But the way she looked up at him outside of Donahue’s… she looked… she looked like she was scared to go in and needed help… you idiot…. But there was no mistaking the look on her face when she returned from the jukebox…none…. He was uncomfortable the moment Laura sat down in the seat Casey left just moments before, and that was before he saw Casey’s eyes widen incredulously when she spotted her. Wait, that look on her face, is it… jealousy? That’s impossible… right? It can’t be. But her mood changed the minute she sat back down. Of course, it did. Ethan was there. That’s why. He’s being ridiculous. Or is he. I mean, she knew Ethan was there before, and she was still laughing and joking. But Laura shows up and suddenly, she…. go to sleep Tobias! Stop seeing shit that isn’t there…stop the crazy. He rolled over. Then he heard Laura’s voice:

“…give her some time to heal. Don’t rush it, but I see how you two look at each other. I think you totally have a chance.”

I mean, Laura doesn’t even know Casey, she barely knew him, but… she saw something? But, God, the way Casey looked as she sat crying on the ground after confronting Ethan… goddamn it, Carrick… it’s not about you. But why did she jump up from Sienna and walked into his arms as soon as he stepped outside? He didn’t make that up. She did go to him… he didn’t ask her to. But she was crying over Ethan. But what just happened in the kitchen? Why did she take his hand? Because they’re friends…. they’ve done that sort of thing countless times before, that’s why. I mean, friends do that sort of thing all the time, right?

“A toast?”

“Sure, and what are we toasting to?”

“To just letting things happen when they should.”

He sat up in bed.

Why did she say that? What did that mean?

Tobias knew he loved Casey; this was not news. He also knew there was never a chance in hell of anything happening between them. It sucked badly, but he accepted it long ago. Even after he found Casey devastated on the street. Even now that it is over between her and Ethan… he still never thought… that’s crazy, right. This could never happen… right?

He was pacing the floor in his bedroom, rubbing his hands across his head in frustration.

No. No. This is crazy.

Nothing is happening with her, Tobias.

Don’t let yourself go there. Stay in this lane.

He realized sleep was not happening. Ugh, what had gotten into his head? How did this even happen?

It was Laura! Why did she have to say that to me? Why? I could scream at her! Or, should I thank her?

Then his thoughts turned to Ethan. He could see him, sitting morosely at the bar, a half drank glass of scotch in his hand. That’s pretty much how Ethan looked every time Tobias had seen him over the past decade. Every time except for the brief period when he accepted Casey’s love. That Ethan, he even surpassed the reserved but exuberant man he med at med school orientation 15 years ago. He let out a deep sigh.

What the fuck are you doing Ramsey? What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you let her go?

He had wanted to talk to Ethan the night he found Casey crying. Someone needed to talk sense into him. But Casey didn’t want Ethan to know that Tobias was aware of their breakup. So, he refrained. Whatever she wants. His loyalty is to her. It would always be to her. But she confronted Ethan tonight at the bar. In plain sight of everyone. God, that’s going to spread. But the cat was out of the bag now. Nothing was preventing him from speaking to his old friend now. He looked at his clock. 12:02 AM. It might be too late for mere mortals, but not for doctors of their caliber. Sleep was a luxury they often learned to do without. Plus, if he knew Ethan, he was probably wide awake, nursing another scotch. He grabbed his phone:

Tobias dressed quickly before scribbling a note to Casey just in case she woke up while he was gone. He headed to Ethan’s with a newfound urgency. There had been so much he wanted to say to Ethan, and he couldn’t hold it back any longer.

Twenty minutes later, Ethan answered a knock on his door.

“Tobias.”

“Ethan.” Silence hung. “Are you going to let me in?”

“Oh, yes,” Ethan said, pushing the door open, “of course, come in.”

Tobias eyed the neat pile of boxes stacked next to the door. Boxes containing the contents of Casey’s life sitting in wait. Why was he here? Even two years ago, Tobias would be sound asleep in his bed waiting to hear the eruption when Ethan wholly imploded. Then he would run to catch Casey when she fell. He would have made sure she became his. He loved that woman in a way he never knew he could love. So why shouldn’t he? Why was he standing here, in front of her belongings that Ethan was eager to toss out of his door? The same way he did her. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Tobias? I assume you came for a reason?”

Yeah. He was here because he loved her, and her needs had to take precedence above his own. He loved Ethan too, and he knew he wasn’t thinking logically. He had to set him straight, or at least try. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t. Yeah, it might result in watching Casey fall right back into Ethan’s arms; but, if that’s where she belonged, if that’s where she’d be happy, then that’s where he wanted her to be.

“Tobias?” Ethan said again, “Are you the friend picking up Casey’s belongings? I assumed it would be one of the roommates, and I didn’t think it would be at this hour of the day, but then again, you know what happens when you assume.”

Tobias pulled himself out of his fog and turned his eyes to Ethan.

“Uh, no. I’m not sure who is picking these up. I’m sure someone will contact you.”

“Well, it is an odd hour for a social visit? But can I get you something to drink?”

“No. No, I’m good. I just… Ethan, I needed to talk to you and I couldn’t wait. Buddy, I’ve known you for a long time, I’ve seen you at your best, at your worst and everyplace in between and….” he stalled. “I can’t just sit by and watch you throw your life away.”

Ethan eyed him dubiously.

“Throwing my life away? I assume you’re referring to Casey. While I appreciate your concern, ending a relationship, painful as it is, doesn’t equate to throwing my life away.”

“Maybe not every relationship, but in this case, yeah, it does. Come on, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love her. Tell me she isn’t the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Ethan silently eyed Tobias but did not make a sound.

“I’m not Casey, so I can’t say definitively, but I think you could still save this,” he sighed. “She gets… we all get why this is happening. Ethan, Louise destroyed 25 years of your life, come on, don’t let her steal another minute from you. YOU are in control! Don’t let her hurt you anymore, and don’t let her make Casey collateral damage. Talk to her, Ethan. Apologize. See a therapist… do it together, or alone… I don’t know. Case, she’s the most forgiving person I ever met. If you talk to her now, I know she’d at least listen….”

“Tobias, stop. Stop. Look, it truly means a lot to me that you cared enough to come by in the middle of the night. But Casey and I, that’s between the two of us. You’re not a party to it.”

“I know that. But I also know you. You’re going to regret this and, by then, it may be too late. What kind of friend would I be if I just watched and said nothing?”

“The kind that minds his own business?”

“No, it would make me the kind that didn’t give a shit about you.”

“Tobias, I ended things for a reason. It is best for both of us.”

“Ethan, that’s bullshit. Come on, I know you don’t want to hurt her.”

“No, of course, I don’t. But breakups hurt… there is no getting around it. But in time, she’ll heal, and she’ll have the life… the relationship… she deserves. We wouldn’t work, and the longer I let her buy into the fantasy we created, the more it would hurt her. Can’t you see that?”

“Ethan, would you listen to yourself? This is crazy talk. The only thing stopping you from having forever with her is you. What you guys shared, do you think everyone is lucky enough to find it?”

“Shared, Tobias. Past tense. What Casey and I had… it’s over. It was all a big mistake….”

Tobias saw red. He knew he needed to contain his anger, as much as he could anyway.

“A mistake? A mis… Ethan, don’t you dare call Casey a fucking mistake!”

“She wasn’t, but our relationship….” He stood up and walked toward the window rubbing his hands through his hair. His defenses, and his temper, rising by the second. “Tobias, I’m done talking about this. I’m nearly 40 years old. I know what I want. I was more content before.”

“Save that for someone who will buy it, because I don’t”

“You don’t have to, and you don’t have to agree with it, and I don’t have to convince you. It’s my life. It’s my decision.” He let out a deep sigh. “Tobias, it’s late, and if that’s all you wanted to say, then you said it. Go back home and get some sleep. There is no reason to be here.”

“Oh, there is reason to be here. I’m here because someone has to be! You’re doing such a bang-up pushing everyone who has ever given a shit about you so far away that they’re afraid to approach you. And, hey, if that’s your end goal, then more power to you! You’re freaking winning! But what are you winning? I’m here, as your friend, in a last-ditch effort to prevent you from being your own worst enemy. I’m throwing you a lifeline, I’m begging you to take it, but if you refuse.... well, then that's on you.”

Ethan turned around, rubbing his temples. “Tobias, if I need a lifeline, I will ask for one. But do I look like I’m drowning to you?”

“Do you really want my honest answer?”

“What I want you to do is to go home. It’s late and we have a busy morning ahead.”

Tobias shook his head.

“I’m not here because I enjoy making 1:00 AM house calls. I’m trying to prevent you from making the biggest mistake of your life.”

“Want to be my friend? Then, please, respect me. For god’s sake, trust that I know what’s best for me and respect me.”

Tobias swallowed, “See, that’s the thing, Ethan. Being a friend doesn’t mean blindly agreeing with someone; it means telling them when they’re wrong. I may not be able to get through to you, but I had to try. But you’re right, it’s your life, and the choices are all yours. I’ll show myself out.”

____________________

Much later that day, Tobias returned home from an uneventful day at work. Ethan never mentioned his visit and, while he was relieved there was no tension, he was disheartened to see his words had no impact. Nevertheless, he was grateful for the quiet day. Casey was returning to work tomorrow, and she and Ethan would be working together two days after. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t concerned about how it would go, so the stress-free day was appreciated.

As he checked his mail in the kitchen, he heard music and giggling coming from down the hall. He chuckled to himself. Tobias had lived alone, by choice, almost the entirety of his adult life. So even though he was aware Casey was there, the noise took him by surprise. Things like this would take some getting used to, but she smiled because it felt good. He walked down the hall and knocked on her bedroom door.

“It’s open!”

“Hey, Case. Hi, Sienna. I don’t want to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know I was home.”

“Hi, T! You’re not interrupting!” Sienna said.

“Yeah. Si is just helping me unpack, you know, what I neglected to help her do, but she’s still nice enough to do for me.”

“Casey, please, you had reasons. It’s not like you were enjoying a spa day while I was moving!”

“I assume everything went well today, then?” Tobias asked Sienna.

“Yep, Raf and I were in and out in 20 minutes. When Jackie found out Ethan wasn’t going to be there, the mission sort of lost its appeal. It’s just as well. It saved me the trouble of stopping her from setting booby traps.”

“Always a good thing. Is Raf still here?”

“No, he is on shift tonight, so he headed out.”

“Alright, so, where I come from, a move-in day always requires pizza and beer. So, are you ladies good with me ordering some in?”

“Oh, I’ll never say no to pizza!” Casey answered.

“Good, because if you did, I would never be able to trust you again,” he laughed. “Sienna, you in?”

“Well, after that comment, I’d be extra foolish to say no!”

“OK, I’ll give you guys some time, unless you need help?”

“All under control,” Casey smiled.

“All right, I’ll let you know when the food arrives.”

“That’s awfully nice of him,” Sienna said quietly.

“Yeah, well, Tobias is pretty nice.”

“You know, I knew you two have become close, but he’s really stepped up to help you.”

“Yeah, I’m really lucky. I have a great support network and, he’s a big part of that.”

“I’m glad. And…you’re comfortable here, right? I mean, I hate that you can’t stay with us… the timing is just… ugh! If I weren’t mad enough at Ethan….” Sienna's face turned red.

“I know,” Casey said, touching her friend’s hand. “Trust me, I know.”

“I’m proud of you, Casey. I can’t imagine how hard this all is and, you’re really holding it together.”

Casey smiled sadly. “Well, it’s still a roller coaster. I have my moments. And I’m terrified of going back to work. Seeing him is,” she swallowed, “it’s going to be hard, Sienna. I know we’ll both be professionals, but, honestly, I have to see how this goes….”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I thought he was the love of my life. Maybe he is the love of my life but… but he doesn’t want me… and….”

Sienna could see Casey unraveling.

“We don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want, Casey.”

“No, it’s fine. I have to deal with it, right? People thought that the two of us being in a relationship would make working together difficult, but it never was. Now this, on the other hand? Not to mention, this news will be all over the hospital, I am going to look like such an idiot.”

“Don’t say that Casey, you’re not an idiot!”

“Well, yes, best friend, you won’t think so, but… honestly, I guess what others think has to be the least of my concerns right now.”

“That’s right. Plus, you have an army of defenders. Let someone say that crap in front of me, or Jackie, or Bryce, or Tobias… we can all be pit bulls, you know!”

“Oh, I have seen each of you in action. And you know I’d be the same way for you.”

She gave Sienna a big hug when Tobias knocked.

“Pizza is served, ladies! Want to sit on the balcony or in the kitchen?”

“Is that even a question?” Sienna laughed, rushing out the door.

_______________

The following day arrived far too quickly for Casey’s liking. It felt good to be in her scrubs and her white coat again. She missed work and wanted to keep her mind occupied, but her stress levels were off the charts. Even knowing she had two days to acclimate before Ethan would be there didn’t help. Every single one of her friends offered to meet her that morning so that they could enter the hospital together, but Casey, feeling that would indicate weakness, declined. Still, knowing she had so much support made her feel much stronger.

She stood at the hospital’s entrance; she was fine. Now the lobby, no issues. The elevator, OK, she had this. On the floor, OK, had this may have been an overstatement. Walking into the diagnostics office… BAM!

“Casey, how are you feeling? It’s good to have you back.”

“Thanks, Harper.”

Harper dismissed Casey’s pale skin and glossy eyes, assuming they resulted from a lingering malady, but Tobias saw the blood drain from her face the moment she entered the room.

He started to make her coffee when she text him to say she was in the lobby. He strode and placed the cup in her hand.

“Welcome back, kid.” With his back to Harper, he smiled down and mouthed, “You’ve got this.”

Casey smiled back, hoping he was right.

“Since it’s just the three of us today,” he said, “we may as well get started. I think the most important item is getting Casey up to speed. Harper, do you have any cases you need to update her on?”

“No, the diagnostic cases are already noted in our folders, and I’ve been paired with Ethan on all others. Casey, this guy here was kind enough to take on all your assignments while you were out. Of course, that means you’re saddled with him until you catch up.”

Casey looked at Tobias, “You picked up all my cases?”

“It’s no big deal. I had the most capacity. But Harper is right. Now you’re stuck with me for a good portion of the day today, and maybe tomorrow.”

“I think I can survive that,” she grinned.

“Well, we have new diagnostic assignments, so, as long as you have no questions, this may be the shortest meeting in history.”

“I think we’re good. I appreciate the brevity. I have two surgeries today so, I’m not complaining. It’s good to see you back, Casey.”

“Thanks, Harper.”

Casey looked at Tobias. “T. I’m familiar with the caseloads. You do not have the most capacity; in fact, right now, Ethan does. Why did you do that?”

“Because you know all this extra time we’re going to be spending together? If I hadn’t, you’d be spending it with Ethan, I didn’t think you’d want that right now.”

“True, but that was so much for you to take on.”

“Case,” he smiled, “it's nothing. Why don’t you go start your new cases, we can regroup around noon and work together?”

“That sounds good.”

Tobias was heading out of the door when Bryce stopped him.

“What’s up, Bud.”

“Just a head’s up, T. Word’s out. I walked in and heard one of the new surgical interns getting all worked up over Casey being back on the market.”

“Aw shit… how do you think… Donahue’s.”

“Yep,” Bryce said, “I was proud of her for having the courage to confront him, but man, I’m sure the news hit the floor here before we got home last night.”

“You said it. Oh, and this intern, did you tell them to fuck off?”

“I thought that was assumed.”

“Of course. I don’t know why I doubted you.”

“Anyway, I want to give Case a heads up. She shouldn’t be blindsided. Do you know where she is?”

“She’s on the floor, shouldn’t be far.”

“Alright, I’ll find her.”

Bryce trotted off and quickly spotted her in a patient's room. He waited for her outside.

“Hey there,” he said, flashing that killer grin.

“Ah, Bryce, that smile can always brighten my day.”

“Good, because you might need it.”

She looked up with heavy eyes, bracing herself for what she knew he was about to say.

“Words out?” she asked.

“Words out. I didn’t want you to hear it from some snide asshole.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, sometimes you are a snide asshole, Bryce,” she smiled.

“I like that answer! I have never been so happy to be called an asshole! Good attitude!”

“Well, it’s my own fault. I was idiotic going up to him at Donahue’s.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got this, and if anyone gives you shit, page me.”

Fortunately, those who encountered her that morning either didn’t know or didn’t let her know that they did. She was able to get through her patients with ease before heading off to meet Tobias. He looked up from the papers he was working on at the nurse’s station, his eyes told her that he was concerned.

“Don’t worry, no one has given me any shit. Yet.”

“You doing, OK?”

“I will be. My new motto?”

“You made it through the morning, you’re still standing, and you’re smiling. So, in my book, you’re already doing damn good. Hey, want to grab lunch together in the cafeteria before we begin? I can start getting you up to speed there.”

“Sure, let’s go!”

Casey managed to enjoy some laughs while reviewing cases with Tobias. She didn’t notice several staff members pointing and whispering in her direction, but he did. His desire to get up and throttle them was tempered only by his greater need to protect Casey. They were about to head to their first patient when he got a page.

“Ah, crap!”

“What is it?”

“I have to head to the lab. There is an issue with authorization on one of my requests. Do you want to hang back here and finish your lunch? I should be back in about 15 minutes.”

“Sure, take your time.”

Casey pulled some files to review. She was proud of herself, she felt much more at ease than she expected to. But that was about to change. Several moments later, she was distracted by laughter coming from the other side of the cafeteria. When she looked over in that direction, she felt her heart stop. Ethan glided in through the double doors, headed in her direction. Casey couldn’t breathe when her eyes met his.

“It’s good to see you back, Dr. MacTavish,” he said as he walked by, “I’ll text you my availability today. There are things I need to catch you up on.”

Casey couldn’t speak, so she offered a gentle nod. He was aloof. The purely professional tone, the way he just breezed by her, was so out of character from the way they used to interact, and it did not go unnoticed. Several residents seated nearby began to whisper amongst themselves until Casey caught glared in their direction.

What the hell is he doing here! He had to know how hard this would be on me! How could he blindside me like that!

She got up to leave, not wanting to be the star of this show taking place any longer. She text Tobias and let him know she’d have to meet him a bit later. Shortly thereafter, she received a text from Ethan asking her to meet him in his office at 3:00. Her stomach dropped. She took the contact photo of him. They were having a picnic together in the Boston Common. The gentle smile on his face took her back to another time. She never removed the little hearts next to his name. She thought back to when her beloved grandfather died, and she eventually removed his number from her phone. It was such a painful experience and changing Ethan’s contact information didn’t feel any different. Still, she wanted to take care of it immediately. “Ethan 🥰❤️” became “Dr. Ramsey” and the precious photo she had taken became… she settled on an Edenbrook logo. Choking back tears she reminded herself, this was her new reality and she would need to get used to it.

As 3:00 neared, Casey began to come undone. She could do her job. She was even capable of smiling at her patients, but anyone who knew could see it was forced. As she accompanied Tobias on their mutual rounds, he became more and more concerned about her.

“Hey, are you sure you can do this? I mean, he wasn’t even supposed to be here today. If you need more time, I’m sure this could wait.”

“No,” she said, looking miserable, “I may as well bite the bullet and get it over with. I’m going to head up.”

She bit her lip and looked nervously to the side.

“Tonight. At home. Can we drink?”

“Absolutely. Will you require ice cream as well?”

“Vanilla fudge ripple?”

“I’ll stop on the way home. Let me know how it goes.”

____________________

Casey went to the office early. She wanted to get there first so she could be waiting when he arrived. She did not want to walk in with him at the desk, watching her approach. But as she turned to enter, he was already there. She entered quietly. So quietly that he didn’t hear her until she was seated in front of him. He was taken aback. Gone was the cold, indifferent gaze from before. His eyes looked sad, he swallowed deeply. But Casey did not see any of it. She turned her head, staring off to the side, doing all that she could to avoid looking at him for as long as possible.

“Casey,” he said, nervously, his voice almost broke.

She remained silent and he acknowledged the pain written on her face. He could see how hard this was on her, and he hated himself for it.

“Casey, thanks for coming. I know… I know I have no right to ask in a personal capacity, but in a professional, I have to ask you. Are you OK?”

She remained silent for what felt like an eternity. She refused to speak until she could do so with the confidence that she would not cry and that her voice would not shake. She was going to take as much time as necessary until she got there. He owed her at least that much.

“I have to be,” she said clearly, “my patients need me to be.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’m doing the best that I can. But to be honest, at this moment, I feel like I’m going to die. I hate this, but I guess we have to figure out how to do this. Neither of us is going anywhere, at least for now.”

He had planned to take a hardline approach, ultra-professional, bordering on cold, but seeing her in so much pain, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt his defenses melt a little. He had already done so much damage. He couldn’t hurt her anymore.

“I wish there was a way that I could ease this for you, Casey. For both of us. I want to do whatever I can to make things as comfortable as can be.”

“Well, do you have any suggestions? Because I sure as hell don’t.”

“Actually, I do. In time, I’m sure it will get easier but, until then, I figure I can limit our cases together. I’ll pair with Harper, and I’ll pair you with Tobias whenever possible. I know you’re comfortable with him and, honestly, I know he cares about you. I know he’ll look out for you.”

“Et..” she couldn’t bring herself to say his name. “I really don’t need to be looked out for. I’m a grown-up. Also, that’s not feasible, we’re going to have to work together. Like it or not.”

“I know,” he said softly, “but it’s not forever. Just for now.”

Casey felt tears rising to her eyes, and she knew that she was helpless to stop them from falling. She grabbed a tissue from her pocket and dabbed them. At a minimum, she was not letting him watch them roll down her face.

“Is this even hard on you, Ethan? Does it even hurt to see me? Even a little bit? Because… right now… I feel like it doesn’t, and, frankly, that makes me feel like I never meant a thing to you. And I know in my heart that’s not true.”

“Casey, of course, this is hard,” his voice was almost a whisper. For the first time, she could hear a trace of pain in his voice.

“But it’s like you said last night. It’s not alright now, but it will be. We will be.”

“We,” she laughed ruefully, “there isn’t a we anymore. You saw to that.”

“Casey, I don’t want to overstep, but is there anything I can do for you? Outside of work, I mean. Do you need anything?”

“No. I don’t need or want your help. When you let me go, you lost the right to be my protector.”

“You’re staying….”

“How many times do I have to tell you that it is none of your business?”

“But you’re someplace safe?”

“Yes, safe and comfortable.”

“Casey, I don’t want us to hate each other. In time I’d love if we….”

He stopped short when Harper and Tobias entered the room. Casey turned her head away, wiping a tear from her cheek.

“Is, is everything OK?” Harper asked.

“Yes, everything is fine,” Casey replied. “I need a few minutes. I’ll be back.”

She stood and bolted from the room. On instinct, Tobias moved to follow her. Taking notice, Casey looked at him and waved her hand.

“I’m good,” she whispered as she passed him.

Harper looked at Ethan, worry etched on her face.

“Actually, Tobias, can you close the door? I’d like to speak to the two of you alone.”

Tobias shut the door and took the seat beside Harper.

“I am going to be shifting cases and making some adjustments to limit group meetings in the immediate future. Before I continue, I acknowledge this may not be professional, but I feel it’s in the best interest of the team, so it needs to be done.”

“Ethan, what’s going on?” Harper asked.

Ethan took a deep breath. “Casey… Casey and I are no longer together.”

Harper let out a soft gasp.

“Ethan, I had… I had no idea.”

Tobias stared at the floor, motionless.

“I’m, I’m terribly sorry. Are you...”

“I’m fine, Harper. Thank you. Are the temporary changes acceptable to both of you?”

“Of course,” Harper replied.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Tobias said standing, “I’m also going to cut out. I have patients to check in on.”

Without another word, he hurried out the door. In reality, there was only one person he wanted to check on, and it wasn’t a patient.

Harper remained behind.

“Ethan, if I overstep, say so, but I’m not asking as a colleague. I am asking as an old friend. What happened? You two, you were… the perfect couple?”

Ethan snorted, “This is real life, Harper, nothing is perfect.”

“Ethan… is this your doing?”

“Excuse me?”

“You did this. You’re shutting her out because you’re afraid, because of Louise… I was worried, but I never thought it would go this far.”

“Harper, my decision to end my relationship with her was my decision, and I don’t wish to elaborate.”

“Ethan, I have known you a long time, and I know you so much better than most. You’re making a mistake. I will admit, I had my doubts at first, but Casey is good for you. It’s like she brought you to life. Please, Ethan, please reconsider.”

“Naveen and Tobias have already tried this, Harper. I appreciate all of you, but this is my choice. So, you and I will be working together more, and Casey will pair with Tobias….”

“Casey and… do you think that’s a good idea?” She said it so inadvertently that she was shocked to hear the words coming from her mouth.

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s just… I mean, we will all have to work together, so….”

“It’s only temporary, Harper. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to finish up.”

____________________

Tobias was searching for Casey. After about 10 minutes, he found her in a supply closet on the other end of the hall. He entered, blocking the door for privacy. He sat on the floor across from Casey. She wasn’t crying, but by the looks of it, it was because she was all cried out.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, staring away from him. “He wasn’t even supposed to be here. Why did he have to come in today?”

“I don’t know. But think of the upside. That first meeting is now out of the way. It’s behind you.”

“Yeah, and it looks like we’ll be working together more. So that’s another good thing.”

“Well,” he said with a grin, “I’m glad you’re taking that as a positive.”

She turned to him and smiled. “Of course. I just hope you don’t get sick of me.”

“Impossible. Do you need me to stay?”

“I’m good. I’m going to leave momentarily. But we’re definitely having alcohol and ice cream tonight, right?”

“One-hundred percent. Vanilla fudge ripple coming your way. Any request on the booze?”

“As long as it isn’t fucking scotch, I don’t care.”

“I can do that, now. Let me get out of here before someone spots us and the rumors start flying.”

“Thanks, T. I’ll see you at home.”

____________________

Casey was suspicious when she saw three of her five afternoon cases moved from her to Ethan, but she honestly wanted to go home so badly, she didn’t question it. As she gathered her things and attempted to scurry out unnoticed, she ran directly into Harper.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Harper, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“It’s OK, Casey, no harm done. Casey, I wanted to say that, truly, I am so sorry.”

Casey looked up wide-eyed, “Oh, I guess you know then….”

“Yes, Ethan told us after you left. Casey, are you ok?”

Casey looked at Harper with a sad smile.

“That was a stupid question. Please let me withdraw it. Casey, I do want to ask… I know the two of you, you were good together, and, I know Ethan, is there any chance that if you give him time….”

“Harper. He told me I couldn’t move in with him and I had no place to go. He told me I was a mistake when all I ever did was love him. Eventually, even if there are reasons behind someone hurts you so badly, does it even matter?”

Harper gently touched Casey’s shoulder and smiled warmly, “No. It shouldn’t. If you need anything, please know, I care, I’m here.”

“That means a lot Harper, thank you.”

“And if you get sick of working with Tobias, let me know. I’ll muscle in and we can work together. Plus, then we could sit back and watch those two have to tolerate each other.”

Casey chuckled, “Well, right now, I’m all for doing that to Ethan, but I don’t want to put Tobias through it.”

“Stay strong,” Harper said before walking away.

____________________

By the time Tobias arrived home, Casey was already sitting on the couch wearing old sweats with her hair in a messy bun. Re-runs of bad 80’s sitcoms were on the TV. It had started to rain, and gloomy grey skies outside the wall of windows were the perfect backdrop for her mood.

“Hey!” Tobias yelled in from the kitchen, “Did you eat dinner yet? I was going to whip something up.”

“I’m not really hungry. I’ve had a bowl of Captain Crunch.”

He chuckled, “Captain Crunch? Dinner of champions?”

She looked over and smiled, “It’s Wheaties, and it’s breakfast of champions!”

“Well, since you’re set up with your gourmet dinner, I’ll just heat up leftovers.”

“Then you’ll come to watch TV with me?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want.”

“I do. Do you have booze for me?”

Tobias smiled. Damn, she was still funny and so adorable, even when she was this down. He sometimes wondered how he didn’t see how amazing she was even sooner than he did. Of course, he reminded himself, he was a bit of an ass back then.

“I picked up a bottle of Bartenura Moscato. Will that do?”

She sat up at attention and twisted her neck toward him. “You remembered?”

“I try to take note of things that make you happy. Now, please tell me you don’t want this together with your ice cream?”

“I don’t,” she laughed, “but pour yourself a glass and join me. You are playing the role of Sienna this evening.”

“Oh, well, slow your roll right there, Sweetheart. I mean, I think pretty highly of myself, but there is no way I can fit those shoes.”

“Don’t worry, none of us can.”

“So,” he said as he placed the glasses of wine on the coffee table and sat next to Casey on the couch, “what are we watching.”

“Say Yes to the Dress.”

“What?”

“Where was I unclear?”

“You want to watch a show… about selecting wedding gowns… while you’re getting over a breakup?”

“I’m unusual.”

“I mean… in a good way, but yeah, that’s weird.”

“OK, we’ll watch Grey’s Anatomy.”

“You don’t get enough of hospital drama at work?”

“Sure, I do. But have you ever watched it?”

“I can’t say that I have.”

“Well, Dr. Avery is hot as hell, and, frankly, I could use a little of that right now.”

“Really, let’s see this, Dr. Avery.”

Casey grabbed Tobias’s phone and pulled up a photo.

“Here.”

“Hmm. Gotta say, he’s one handsome SOB.”

“Tell me about it. Now, shhh… it’s on!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

After watching several episodes with only limited commentary, Casey shut off the TV.

“So, what did you think?” She turned to find Tobias sound asleep on the other end of the couch.

Casey picked up a pillow and tossed it at him.

“Tobias! You fell asleep on me!”

“What, uhm, only after the fourth episode.”

“I only played three.”

“How can I make it up to you?”

She just glared at him.

“I’ll go get the ice cream,” he smiled.

“You bring the pint with two spoons.”

“Well, if I got a half-gallon, do I do the same thing?”

“Yeah, even better. Aren’t you happy to be learning all these rituals?”

“Honestly, I don’t know how I went 37-years without them, Case.”

“You’re so lucky to have me!”

“So, you are doing, ok?” He said handing her the carton of ice cream, “I know it was a hard day.”

Casey signed and lowered her shoulders before shoving a giant spoon of ice cream into her mouth.

“I’m just sad, T. It’s hard to know… to know I did everything right, to know I gave all I could and, it was just… for nothing.”

“Well, I don’t think anything is ever for nothing. We gain something from everything we go through. Right now, you won’t be able to see it but, give it time. You will.”

“I wish I didn’t work with him.”

“Well, that’s a given. But you got through day one and, he does seem to want to make it easier on you. That’s something.”

“It is. You know, I feel like I need to do something enjoyable.”

“What, you mean this here tonight, it doesn’t meet your standards? I’m hurt.”

She giggled, “No, this is wonderful. But like a big day trip, with the whole gang.”

“Well, it’s fall… there are wineries, or a hike, or pumpkin picking, or….”

“Pumpkin picking!!!!!”

“Pumpkin picking?”

“OH, MY GOD? Will there be apple cider donuts?!?!?”

“Casey… Is that even a question?”

“OK, YES! We have to do this!”

“Well, then, let’s make it happen!”

“I am! I’m going to start the group text right now.”

“And I’m going to run and get changed. Put on another episode of Grey’s until I’m back. Let Dr. Avery keep you company?”

“Aw, T. Don’t get jealous. Dr. Carrick is much better company than Dr. Avery.”

15 minutes later, Tobias came back into the room.

“So, how’s the group text coming along?”

“Connors Farm in Danvers, Saturday. Sienna and Aurora are off, Bryce isn’t, but he thinks Tanaka will let him take a PTO day. Jackie said Dr. Meadows owes her a favor, so she’s going to see if they can switch, and Raf is double-checking, but he thinks he can make it too… so this motley crew is taking on the pumpkin patch.”

“I’ve never been to Connors,” Tobias pulled up the website on his phone, Casey peering over his shoulder.

“OMG T!! They have a bouncy house!!”

“You might be past the age limit, Casey.”

“You couldn’t just let me have that! Just for that, you’re now forced to join me in the corn maze!”

“Hey, I watched Grey’s with you. That’s a step up.”

“You’re not supposed to complain about my TV choices on a getting over a break-up night.”

“Sorry, dear, I don’t know all the rules. Put Grey’s on. I’m here for it.”

“I can’t wait for Saturday! It’s going to be a blast!”

____________

Early Saturday morning, Casey was making breakfast in the kitchen with the phone to her ear.

“No, Mom, I definitely have off on Thanksgiving. Sienna does too, so if she can’t go home, she said she’ll come too.”

Tobias walked in, also on the phone. He nodded at Casey.

“I don’t know, Ma. I’m not really feeling Tahiti for the holidays. I’d like to stay a little closer to home this year. What? No, I am not dull. I’m a working doctor, not a retired nurse!”

Casey: “Well, I’ll try to get down before, Mom, but work’s crazy and… why don’t you and Dad come up to Boston for a visit?”

Tobias: “We’ll work it out. Aren’t you going to be in this area soon?”

Casey: “Mom, I have to go. I’m running late. Yes, I’ll send you a picture of my pumpkin. Love you, Mom.

Tobias: “I have to go, Ma. Yes, I did say a pumpkin patch. Why would I need to be drunk to do that? Ma, I gotta go. Love you too.”

“Your Mom thinks you have to be drunk to go to a pumpkin patch? What kind of pumpkin patch did you go to growing up?”

Tobias laughs, “Pumpkin patches weren’t exactly my family’s kind of thing.”

“Oh, crap!”

“What?”

“I just got a text from Jackie. Dr. Meadows has a stomach bug, so she can’t go in to cover. She won’t be able to make it. That sucks.”

Ten minutes later, Casey received another text.

“Wonderful. Now Sienna is stuck working a double. She said she’ll see us at Donahue’s after.”

“Ah, sorry, Case. But the rest of us will still make this an epic adventure.”

Five minutes later.

“God damn it! That stomach bug must be working its way around because Aurora has it too. Now she can’t go. Well, me and the boy’s, I guess.

“Yeah, well, boys minus Raf. He just called me. Vovo’s doctor appointment is running late. But, he said he will do his best to meet us up there later.”

“Well, hopefully, we can spend at least part of the day with him. It is the three musketeers until then! It’s been a while since I have hung out with just you and Bryce, so it will actually be nice.”

“That’s the attitude. Let’s go get the car. We’ll drive over and pick him up.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tobias and Casey pull up to Bryce’s apartment building, but he’s not outside. Tobias calls him to let him know they’ve arrived. He hangs up and turns to look at Casey.

“Well, so much for the motley crew taking on the pumpkin patch.”

“What?” Casey groaned.

“His shower won’t stop running.”

“What?”

“He has to stay until the super comes with the plumber. He’s also going to try to meet us, but so much for the crew heading out together. Case, what are you doing?” he asked when he saw her frantically tapping at her phone.

“Aha! Here it is! A yacht crew can be between one and six members. So, you and I still constitute a crew, so the motley crew is absolutely still taking on the pumpkin patch! And hopefully, we’ll get two more mates later.”

“Mates?”

“Yeah, isn’t that what they call each other? Mates, maties, something like that.”

“Why don’t we stick to our names.”

“I’m down with that.”

“So, how far is this place?” Casey asked.

“According to GPS, about 35 minutes. Sorry, you’re saddled alone with me on the ride up. You’ve got to be getting sick of me by now,” he said semi-jokingly.

“Nah, not yet. Of course, I could say the same about you.”

“Absolutely not. You’re delightful.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“No,” he laughed, “I mean it.”

“Hey, I’ve meant to talk to you, we’ve never really talked about me being at your place, and I guess we should.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, like, what are the house rules? And how do I contribute? Things like that.”

“House rules?”

“Yeah, like can I invite friends over? Do you have times you’d rather not have anyone there? What chores do you want me to pick up? Things like that and, also, I want to contribute. I’m not going to be living there for free.”

“Well, as far as rules go… it’s your home too, you can invite anyone over anytime you want. The place is big enough that we really wouldn’t bother each other if we wanted privacy and, I rarely have people over. Chores, I mean, you’ve been doing more than your share to begin with, so I don’t think we need a chart unless it would make you more comfortable.”

“I guess we can work it out. And I’d still check before bringing anyone over.” She hesitated for a moment, “And, you know, I don’t want to… impede on you… if you ever want to have… like a date over. You can tell me, I am sure I can crash with Bryce, or even the girls, for just one night. Heck, I could stay at work if need….”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Casey. Truth is, going out with Laura showed me, I’m really still not interested.”

“Really? She seemed cool. I liked her.”

“So did I.”

“So then, why not see her again?”

He looked at Casey and smiled sadly, “I’m still not ready Case. I’m… I’m still sort of hung up on the person I told you about.”

“Still?”

“Yeah, well… she’s special. She really got under my skin.”

“Well, I hope you can move on soon. I know it’s very different, but I kind of know how all this shit sucks right now, and I don’t want you to feel this way.”

He tapped her knee, “I don’t want it for you either, Sweetheart. I wish you weren’t going through all this.”

She formed a sad smile, “Thanks. But enough about that… I also want to know what I can contribute.”

“You don’t have to, Case.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Look, I’ve got money enough to spare, while you’ve got med school debt, you have to save up for when you want to be on your own… again, you don’t have to unless you want to… but I assume you will probably want to eventually.”

She stayed quiet, “I have to insist. I am not one to not do my part. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

He looked over at her, almost annoyed, “Case, have you ever known me to do anything I don’t want to do? I mean, look, you’re my friend, and I care about you very much, but if I didn’t want you there, I’d tell you. You are not a burden.”

“In fact,” he continued a few moments later, “I’m finding that I like having you around.”

“Good,” she sounded relieved. “Because, even though this is a shitty time, I feel really at home there.”

A bright smile spread across his face, “I’m happy to hear that. Well, it looks like we’re here. What are we doing first? Hayride? Apple cider doughnuts?”

“Is that even a question?”

“So, let’s go find the doughnut stand,” he laughed.

The afternoon was delightful. To Tobias’s great amusement, Casey made her usual spectacle of herself lusting over her apple cider donut. They ran through (literally ran through) the corn maze and got very lost. It took them over an hour to get to the exit, Casey totally blamed him, and he totally blamed her. They were heading to the hayride when Tobias received a text from Bryce and Raf saying they heading up in an Uber. Bryce threatened them not to go on the hayride or pick any pumpkins without them. So, Casey and Tobias rode the Ferris wheel instead. They took silly and stupid selfies to kill time waiting. When Bryce and Raf arrived, Casey promptly smacked Bryce’s arm for making her wait so long to get on the hayride. The driver assumed Tobias was her boyfriend when they stepped onto the wagon with him. Bryce jokingly said that he was her boyfriend too. Raf joined in on the joke. Casey looked at the bewildered driver and said they were very open-minded as they all giggled. Once on the patch, they found an enormous, lopsided pumpkin with a twisted stem. It took three of them to carry (and one to photograph the three carrying it). Exhausted, they were getting ready to leave when Casey approached the operator at the bouncy house. The three men looked on, shocked and a bit scared.

“Hey, I know this is supposed to be for kids under 48 inches. And, yes, me and my friends over there are all a little over that height. But is there any way we can go in?”

The bewildered man stared at her, “Ma’am, I’d love to let you but….”

“But, I mean, there are no kids here. We wouldn’t go in with kids, just us. I promise, if we get too rambunctious, you can throw us out. Pleeeeeaaaaase?”

“But if you get injured….”

“Well, two of us are doctors, one is a physical therapist, and one is a surgeon. We’ll treat ourselves.”

“Well, OK, but only for five minutes.”

“That’s all we need!!!”

“Guys, come on!!!” she yelled.

Not one budged.

“Guys???”

They shook their heads.

“Just give me a minute….” Casey said to the operator as she marched over indignantly.

“OK, I just convinced this man to let us in the bouncy house. You have to join me!”

“Casey, I treat people with bodily injuries. I don’t want to be one of the people with bodily injuries.”

“Seriously, Raf? You jumped out of a goddamn plane with me, but a bouncy house for 5-year-olds is too intense for you?”

“OK, Bryce, Tobias, let’s go.”

“Case, we’re going to Donahue’s after this. I am not messing with the hair.”

“Bryce, there are these things called combs and hair products? For real? You’re such a diva! OK, T?” She looked at him, eyes pleading.

“Case, I’m almost 40.”

“So, you don’t look it.”

“Well, some days I feel it.”

“Do you feel it today?”

“No.”

“Pleeeeaaaase T? Don’t let me go in alone.”

“Don’t do it, man,” Bryce urged.

“Bryce, SHUT UP!” Casey admonished.

“T… it’ll be fun. Please?”

He sighed deeply, “OK, what the hell….”

Casey jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “Come on you two… last chance!”

“Oh, hell no! Now there is no way you’re getting me in there now. I am recording this and getting it on Snapchat… STAT!”

“You do and I’ll make you walk home, Lahela!” Tobias yelled as he entered the bouncy house.

Bryce shook his head.

“He is so freaking whipped.”

Raf spun his head to Bryce.

“Whipped? Wait, what?”

Bryce’s eyes bulged and his lips twisted when he realized what he just said out loud.

“Uh, I mean, because she’s his… friend… and you know, she’s staying with him, and since she is, uh, down about the breakup, he just will do whatever she wants.. yeah, that’s it.”

Raf eyed him suspiciously, “OK, if you say so?”

“Case, how the hell did you convince me to do this?” Tobias asked trying to keep his balance.

“Because you’re fun. You’re so much more fun than those two, and you know it.”

“Well, that goes without saying, but my brand of fun doesn’t usually involve… bouncy houses.”

“Well, then you’re in for a treat! Hold my hands in the center and start jumping.”

“This is insane.”

“Yes, it is,” she said as she started to jump and laugh.

Tobias got into it and jumped and laughed along with Casey until he lost his balance and fell. Casey, still standing, doubled over from laughing so hard. Sadly, that distracted her allowing Tobias to get up and jump with all his force in her direction, sending her toppling, but she grabbed his legs and pulled him down on the way. The two of them laid on the floor of the bouncy house laughing hysterically.

“Hey guys,” Bryce yelled from outside, “I got this all recorded for insurance purposes. You’ll be ok.”

“OK, I think we can go now,” Casey said panting.

“Giving up so soon, Dr. MacTavish?”

“It is quality, not quantity, that matters, Dr. Carrick, and that was epic. But I think I’m ready for a nap in the car and Donahue’s.”

“Me too.”

“You can’t nap. You have to drive.”

“You have a point… that’s why I’m giving Lahela the keys.”

“Oh, you’re brave enough to do that, but I had to beg you to get you into the bouncy house. I don’t get you, Carrick!”

____________________

A half-hour later, the four hay-covered friends sat in their booth at Donahue’s, their massive pumpkin plopped in the center of the table. Casey was a little glum.

“Hey, what’s the long face for?” Tobias asked.

“Jackie and Sienna can’t make it after all. I just miss them. I mean, I knew when our residencies ended and we were living apart we wouldn’t see each other as much, but they were like my sisters, and it’s harder than I thought.”

A few moments later, Tobias picked up his phone and text Sienna. He asked her to call him later that night, he had an idea.

Bryce returned to the table with their first round of drinks. A vigorous debate ensued over who would get to bring the pumpkin home.

“I found it. It should be mine,” Bryce insisted.

“Really Bryce? Did you lick it too! There are two of us at Tobias’s place, so we should get it. Also, it’s a trophy because we were brave enough to go in the bouncy house!”

“I never thought I’d hear the words brave and bouncy house in the same sentence,” Tobias muttered.

“What if we just cut it in four?” Raf asked. Everyone glared at him. “Yeah, not a good idea.”

Sometime in the middle of all their revelry, Ethan slipped into the bar. He kept watch over them out of the corner of his eye, but they were so engaged in their fight over the pumpkin, they didn’t notice his arrival.

“Well, I’m taking myself out of the pumpkin competition,” Raf said, standing up, “I think it was too much fresh air for me. I’m going to head home, I’m exhausted.”

“Lightweight,” Bryce yelled.

“OK, so before you go, in your opinion, who should get the pumpkin?” Casey asked.

“You should, Casey.”

“YES!!”

“What? Why, Raf?”

“Because she’s the cutest one at the table.”

“First, that’s a lie,” Bryce said.

“Want to put it to a vote, Bryce?” Casey smirked.

“Just keep the pumpkin. I’m going to the men's room to sulk.”

“Geeze, Lahela, I’ll buy you another pumpkin if it means that much to you,” Tobias laughed.

While Bryce was gone, Casey and Tobias sat next to each other laughing at the pumpkin patch pictures on her phone.

They looked up when they thought they heard Bryce slide back into the other side of the booth and, to their astonishment, Ethan was sitting there.

“Uh, hey, Boss. How is it going?”

“Well. It sounds like you had a nice day. Impressive pumpkin.”

“Yeah, we went to the patch with Bryce and Raf,” Tobias answered.

“Casey,” Ethan said, nodding in her direction.

She stared at the table sadly, “Ethan, what.. what are you doing here?”

“Just thought I’d say hello.”

“Well, hi,” Casey replied.

“I just thought that… we all have to work together so, maybe we should try to….”

“Yeah, I can’t do that right now,” Casey said as she got up from the table, “excuse me.”

Tobias watched until he saw she was in the ladies room before speaking.

“Ethan. You, OK?”

“Yeah. I know I usually don’t come over here….”

“Actually, unless you have come with Casey, you have never come over here. What gives? Why tonight?”

Because it was driving me crazy watching her from the bar…

“I just figured… I want to try to move towards being friends. If we didn’t work together it would be one thing, but we do.”

“You know, down the line, that’s could be a good idea. But, right now, it’s too raw, Ethan. She is angry, hurt, shocked…she has to process this all. I don’t think she’s remotely ready to be your friend at this point.”

“Well, she certainly is ready to be yours.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Casey and I have been friends all along, and I didn’t just dump her out of the blue.”

Ethan shook his head, “Nothing. You’re right, it’s… too soon.”

“It is. Look, you want my advice, not that you ever take it. Just try to get to a good place professionally. She needs to get over you first.”

She needs to get over you. As much as Ethan said he wanted that, deep down, he never really thought it would happen. The thought of it was one thing, accepting the reality of it happening was another. It stung more than he expected.

“Well, I may surprise you, because I will take your advice. Text Casey. Tell her it’s safe to come back.”

He sild out of the booth and made his way back to the bar, passing a confused, and pissed-off Bryce on the way.

“What was that all about?”

“Truthfully, got me,” Tobias answered.

Casey hurriedly walked back to the table.

“T, are you OK if we leave,” she said.

Tobias felt his heart sink. All of the joy that had been on Casey’s face had disappeared and all he could do is think of how he could get it back. He was calling Sienna as soon as he got back home.

“Sure thing, Kid. Let’s roll. Lahela, it’s been real.”

“Sure has. Hey, Case,” he said, causing her to turn back, “stay strong, Hun.”

Once they exited the back door, Bryce looked at the pumpkin and tipped his drink to it.

“Well, it looks like it is just you and me. And, after a couple drinks, you’re coming home with me.”

Moments later, Tobias returned and struggled to lift the heavy pumpkin from the table.

“You seriously didn’t think she was going forget about this, did you?”

Bryce laughed, “Nah, it’s OK. It should go home with you guys anyway. Have a good night, Pal. I hope Casey feels better.”

With everyone gone, Bryce quickly downed the rest of his beer and decided to head home. He walked directly out the front door, walking right by Ethan.

Chapter 18 Sneak Peek

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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andromedasstarship · 4 years

Text

in the stars - chapter 2

photo credits - @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, language

summary - You and Aaron reunite, but it’s not exactly anything to celebrate over. The case moves forward, but you really wish it hadn’t like this.

a/n - no one is allowed to call me out on my lack of LA/california geographical knowledge. ive also started including readers mental thought train which is italicized (flashbacks will also be in italics, but ill always properly mark a flashback). if you arent tagged but asked, just send another ask/reply! i mustve missed it on accident.

blog rules

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

chapter 1 // chapter 3

-----

Chapter 2

Aaron Hotchner was standing in front of you. Impeccable, not even a slight crease in his shoes and suit pressed to perfection. He still smelled faintly like cedar, a thought you quickly tried to send away; it was too late though, already remembering how pitiful it was post breakup, when you would smell the shirts he left at your house, a desperate attempt to remember that he existed in your life. You’d spent hours, days even, thinking about how you’d react if you were ever to see Aaron in person again. At the top of the list was screaming at him, really giving him a piece of your mind for leaving the way he did. Or, maybe you’d be cool and composed, the epitome of maturity and ‘I’m Totally Over You’. You’d even considered completely ignoring him, not even giving him a second glance. Instead you were frozen to the spot, staring up at the man who broke your heart.

Pulling your eyes away from him, they darted towards the gap between his body and outside, internally debating if you’d be able to somehow sneak around him. As if he could read your mind, not like you had been particularly subtle, he moved to close the gap before you had the chance to fully formulate an escape.

“Y/N,” he tried again, voice a bit firmer this time around. It’d be better if he couldn’t speak. But then again he had such a beautiful voice-. No, you mentally clamped down on that thought before it could lead you down another rabbit hole. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you, uh, what?” You asked, hyper aware of how mousy you must’ve sounded.

“That someone was murdering women that looked like you. You should’ve called my team sooner, it was irresponsible to put yourself at further risk of-”

“Are you trying to imply that this is somehow my fault, Agent Hotchner?” The words felt bitter on your tongue. It wasn’t like you, to suddenly be so quick to anger. Years in the spotlight had taught you to hold your tongue, but Aaron’s words managed to cut right through.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know that-,” he tried to interject, but you weren’t going to back down so easy.

“I know what Agent? Please, tell me the acceptable response to this situation,” you spat out at him, finding a brief enjoyment in the way his face scrunched up ever so slightly. “The police were working on the case, I’ve dealt with weirdos before.” Aaron opened his mouth again as if to speak, but you weren’t finished, “You really think I believed you’d answer if I called?”

His face fell at that and you felt some form of internal victory swell in your chest. Y/N 1 point, Aaron Hotchner 0. The victory was short lived though, as you came to the realization that the two of you were still in a very public setting.

“I’m not going to fight with you Agent, I suggest you get back to your team.” With that you shoved your way past him, stomping the entire way to your car. It was a shame, the way the anger and sadness was consuming you, maybe if it hadn’t, this time you would’ve noticed the clicking coming from the tree line.

----

Hotch wished you had been angry; it would’ve been easier to handle you if you had been screaming in his face or throwing low-blow comments his way. He could deal with anger. It’d be easier if he could pretend that you were being completely out of line and could warrant being ignored for the rest of the case.

That wasn’t you though, and he knew this. He didn’t have to be a profiler to see and hear the way you struggled to hold yourself together. He didn’t need to be a profiler to feel how disappointed you were with him. Hotch didn’t know how to deal with this or you. Even though it had been months, had he truly fallen so far from your graces; was your opinion so lowly of him now?

Hotch wasn’t sure which was worse to stomach, the fact that you had such little faith in him or the deep rooted feeling in his gut that told him you were right- had you called him unannounced two months ago, he wouldn’t have picked up the phone.

----

You sat in your car for twenty minutes, at least. It was pitiful, the way you were crying in your car, to a sad playlist, over a guy who hurt your feelings; it felt like high school all over again. In the moment, you had felt good, the way you watched Aaron’s face twist and fall at your words giving you some sick form of satisfaction.

It’s not like you had lied to him or anything. You hadn’t even stretched the truth for ultimate impact. The whole overly formal ‘Agent’ thing was definitely on purpose though. No, you had meant every word you said to Aaron, especially about not believing he’d answer if you called. What would you have even said if you called and he did pick up? Hi Aaron, remember me? Good, anyway hope you’re doing well but I think I have a murderous stalker, can you help? Actually, that’s probably exactly how the conversation would’ve gone, but that’s beside the point.

The point was that even if you could trust the Unit Chief of the BAU to do his job, you weren’t sure you could trust Aaron Hotchner anymore.

----

When you finally did muster up the courage to return to the conference room, you really wished you hadn’t. You should’ve just turned your car on and left. Was it possible to ghost the FBI? You’d heard enough stories from Aaron about how their tech wizard had found people with just a single loose thread, there was definitely no way you were going to make some spy like disappearance.

Aaron wasn’t in the room, something you were grateful for in the moment. But what you weren’t grateful for was how the team had managed to set up multiple bulletin boards in your absence; filled with your photo, crime scene photos, the dead women and your personal least favorite, the dead women’s bodies.

Of course, you knew what was going on, you were a big girl, well old enough to understand and process the gravity of the situation. But you’d only seen photos of the women alive, with personality and humanity; something about that made them look less like you and more like them. Looking at them now- dead, eyes closed, faces tilted away from the camera- these women didn’t just look like you, they were you.

You hadn’t even realized you were drifting closer to one of the boards until you felt a hand pull at the crook of your elbow. Turning your head ever so slightly you saw JJ, giving you one of her nice looks again.

“Y/N, you don’t need to see these,” JJ started, already pulling you in the opposite direction. You were about to agree, head already halfway to a full nod when you noticed something from the corner of your eye.

“Wait!” You exclaimed, pulling your arm back and getting right in front of a photo of victim #2. You very gently pulled the photo of the wall and held it closely in front of your face. Were you allowed to move it? Oh well. You felt the rest of the team’s eyes burning holes through your back so you turned to face them. “I, um, I’m pretty sure the sweater she’s wearing is mine.” You said, voice coming out as a whisper.

The team certainly seemed to liven up at that statement. Even though they hadn’t even been in LA for a full 24 hours yet, it was obvious from the start that LAPD hadn’t been lacking on the case, rather the unsub was just that good. They reported no evidence from any dump sites,- and now those sites had been contaminated far too much to double check- there had been no witnesses for any of the abductions, and the unsub hadn’t attempted any contact with Y/N; all in all, they had nothing.

“Y/N, are you sure?” Emily asked, she was quickly pulling photos of the other three women down, bringing them over to the roundtable. “Are the women in these photos wearing anything else you recognize?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. There’s a little hole right there, on the side, the threads were pretty loose and I got stuck on a doorknob once, ripped it right open. I couldn’t find it when I went to fix it, just assumed I threw it away and forgot.” You said quietly, moving your way to the table. Your brain wasn’t working properly, hadn’t quite yet come to the conclusion that the rest of the agents already reached. He had gotten into your house. “Oh my god.” You whispered, voice shaking. “He was in my house, wasn’t he?”

The agents all looked down at you with sympathetic gazes before Emily finally spoke up again. “We can’t be sure just yet, but I need you to look at these photos and tell me if you recognize anything else okay? Can you do that for me?”

You nodded, making your way over to the table and taking a seat. You were well aware one of the agents just called for Hotch, but you couldn’t be bothered with that right now.

----

“Hotch,” Derek said, his voice urgent as he rounded the corner, interrupting whatever conversation Hotch was having with a random officer, “Y/N recognized the sweater victim #2 was wearing at the dumpsite as hers. Emily’s showing her the rest of the photos and it’s looking like the unsub left something of hers on each one.”

That certainly got Hotch’s attention. He didn’t need Derek to fill in the blank, the unsub had been in your house. His fists tightened at his side and he couldn’t help the way his face twisted in anger. In this state, Derek knew better than to question this unusually personal reaction, instead just angling his body back towards the conference room. He didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before Hotch brushed past him, making his way back to you.

----

Starting with a photo of victim #1, you very slowly pulled it closer in front of you. Oh my god, her neck. Obviously, you’ve seen bruises before, been on a whole bunch of film sets that used makeup to create some pretty gory pieces, but nothing like this. The unsub didn’t just stangle these women, it was like he wanted to completely crush their throats.

One of the agents behind you was questioning your ability to stomach this, so you quickly forced yourself to focus. It was the least you could do for these poor women, just give them your undivided attention for ten minutes, and then you could deal with everything else later.

Your finger traced over the bracelet victim #1 was wearing. “This is mine. There’s a singular heart engraved on the back of the third diamond’s plating. I bought it for myself after I got cast in my first big role, cried for weeks when I ‘lost’ it.”

“And what about this one?” Emily asked, gently pulling victim #1’s photo away from you and replacing it with #4. You didn’t miss the way she turned the photos you’d already looked at upside down, as if to further shield you from them. Nor did you miss that she was technically skipping victim #3.

It didn’t take you long to notice what was yours on victim #4. “It’s the dress, it’s really comfy, I used to wear it a lot, like a lot a lot. I brought it with me so often on trips I just assumed it got left in a hotel room somewhere.”

Emily nodded, taking back that photo and turning it over as well. You could see her hesitation in showing you victim #3, but she slid it across the table to you as well. Her fingertips ghosting on the edge of the photo, ready to pull it back as soon as you gave an answer.

Victim #3 was tough. She looked the most like you, both when she was alive and certainly the way she looked now.

You took a sharp intake of breath as you looked down at her the first thing that caught your eye was the necklace. Most certainly yours and most certainly the one that Aaron had given you for your three year anniversary. You realized it was lost a few months after the breakup and nearly tore your house apart looking for it; you didn’t have many things from your relationship with Aaron to prove he was once part of your life, making the few things you did have all the more important. “The necklace, there’s an A engraved on the back and I’m pretty sure those shoes are mine too.” Emily swept the photo back and out of view as soon as the last words left your lips.

“JJ, get those items out of evidence immediately so we can be absolutely sure,” Hotch ordered. Aaron. You hadn’t even realized he had walked into the room, you turned to look at him, eyes wide with sadness and fear. The tears that were beginning to form tugged viciously on his heart. “Miss L/N, my team and I are going to escort you back to your home and we’re going to need to canvas it for signs of entry and identify if anything else is missing. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice soft with something most of the members couldn’t place.

You simply nodded at that, glad that you wouldn’t have to be alone, “Do you need my address, or will you just follow my car?” There was definitely humor in that, Aaron already knew exactly where you lived and the code to get through the gates.

“Your address is already in our files, but for your safety we’ll be following close behind.” He assured you. The rest of the team was jumping into action, grabbing their personal belongings along with copious amounts of gloves and bags you assumed would be for potential evidence.

As you all exited the building and entered your respective vehicles, it was Reid who realized where he’d heard that softness in Hotch’s voice before. It was the same tone he used to use with Hayley, back when things were good.

----

Your house wasn’t far and it was a drive you knew well; grateful for the ability to somewhat distract yourself on the road. The gatesman to your development gave you a real odd look when you told him the two black SUV’s filled with FBI agents were with you, but you couldn’t care less about which neighbor he might spread that info too. Did you see? L/N brought in the FBI, wonder what she’s caught up in. At least all the neighbors and workers had signed airtight NDAs, no one was allowed to talk to any outsiders about the personal happenings of their fellow residents.

Your house was towards the top of the hill, with a great overlook to the ocean. You had only been 20 when you bought the house and you viewed it as the ultimate achievement of all your hard work and determination. You couldn't shake the bad taste in your mouth as you pulled up the driveway. The house felt tainted now, something you were never sure you’d be able to shake.

----

Once again, not exactly how you imagined the entire team entering your house for the first time. Your house was extensive, as were the grounds; the team quickly realized they would probably be here for the rest of the day and well into the night.

You were standing awkwardly in the middle of your foyer, unsure of how to exactly approach this situation. “So, there’s about 10 rooms in the house, not including the kitchen and general living spaces, as well with the basement which is technically one big room. I made maps once as a joke, I think I have some in the office, if you wanted those? Or we could do one big house tour and you can break off that way,” you were so rambling, but them being in your house and why they were in your house was setting in, “or you can just go off however you want-”

“Miss L/N,” JJ said, there was that nice look again, “why don’t you show me around the house so I can get a base level understanding of everything there is. The rest of my team will go start a basic canvas of the inside and the grounds as well.” Thank you JJ.

You nodded at this, glad that someone else was taking control of the situation. Before you could lead JJ towards the kitchen, your phone started to ring, startling you. When did you get this skittish?

“My friend is calling,” you said, holding up your phone, “I gotta take this, I was supposed to meet him for coffee a few minutes ago.” You excused yourself, quickly making your way to an empty room away from the rest of the team. Your friend was annoyed at your more than last minute cancellation, but luckily he didn’t pry too hard and accepted your flimsy “I’m not feeling too well’ excuse on the first go.

“I know, I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I feel better. Yeah, I love you too. I gotta go, bye.” As you hung up, you could feel a gaze burning into the back of your head. Turning around, you found Aaron staring down at you from the doorway. How long had he been there?

“You should have told us about your boyfriend sooner. Trying to protect him from questioning will only-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you exclaimed, a bit too hurriedly, “I, uh, I’m not seeing anyone at all actually, haven’t in a while.” Smooth.

Aaron was smart enough to read through the lines and understand what you had left unsaid. His gaze didn’t give up, but you could’ve swore you saw relief somewhere in his eyes. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say something, or if he was supposed to say something, or should you walk out, or-

“Neither have I.” Hotch’s voice broke through your thoughts, but just as quickly as he said it, he turned on his heel and left you alone in the room.

----

a/n - if anyone is wondering ive 100% cried multiple times at how kind and supportive everyone has been with me about this story. we’re only 2 chapters in but im already sad for it to end. yes i 100% have a bunch of other wip ideas for hotch. anywaaaaaaay, replies/asks/comments/reblogs/likes always appreciated! thank you so much for reading

Taglist: @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotchner x reader #hotch #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #'stori writes #in the stars

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jaggedwolf · 3 years

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air support, we need you (or: tscosi 2x09)

some bomb dropping, ofc, spoilers below duh

same game, top three things i had feelings ‘bout in reverse order

3. time skip time! Everyone could use a bit of a breather, even if it can’t live up to Arkady’s goat farm dreams

I thought all the planet assignments made sense, even if the completionist in me wanted it to differ more from the split that had already happened this season

ok ok the shipper in me was 50-50 but we’ll address that later

2. my man park!! is back!!!

Showing up with an anti-aircraft missile launcher as a wedding gift. I kept joking that Park would keep up his finale trend of showing up as a surprise being cool (as cool as Park can be anw), and thought it wouldn’t happen till it did!

and him also quietly saying the defector wasn’t Shelly....Park...are you going to talk about this...

narrowly avoided extended crew singing for the third time, will he keep up this success rate?

I would take a mini-episode that just followed Park in the second half of the season (Park: I am an independent man who needs no crew)

1. Arkady attacking Krejjh because she thinks they’re an enemy, AND then McCabe pulling a gun on her to make sure she didn’t run away. Bro. Bro, that shit was a direct hit to the id. Do I even have words for how good that was

Knowing what was about to happen as soon as Arkady said “You” in that tone of voice, ugh

Krejjh saying Arkady instead of First Mate Patel in desperation, and then brushing it off with a :D after

But god, McCabe. They’ve been so compelling this season, and yeah, maybe they’re approaching everything like a nail with the hammer they’ve got that shoots bullets, but the point is, it fuckin works

Arkady buys the threat (the promise of her crew’s safety?) more than she buys Krejjh’s reassurances

(though reading the transcript, Krejjh specifically telling Arkady “Science Officer Liu will never forgive you”, not “forgive us”, is excellent too)

“the only authority figures yet to disappoint me” / “I’m not an authority figure” / “you don’t get to decide that” is just like. embedded in my mind. just McCabe going no, you don’t get to run verbally either.

Do you ever think about how Arkady and McCabe had like, different kinds of fucked up childhoods compared to the rest of the crew. Like obviously McCabe ending up an agent so young and the stuff about their family suggests a pretty secure background, but it feels like the IGR and Dwarnian war starting when they were 12 gives them a kind of cynicism that meshes well with Arkady’s, in a way that’s distinct from how Arkady and Violet’s morbidness mesh, or Arkady and Sana’s pragmatism

ok more character feels under the cut

don’t scandalize the grandparents

A married man!

Impressed he made it through the season with no baddies wrecking his oxygen

Always ready to point out that Arkady is actually as much of a nerd as he is

AKA I didn’t realize it was a Mozart reference till he said so. Arkady defies the jock-nerd chart

okay who of Arkady or Krejjh is gonna tell him about MMA fight outside, or did they do a whole team debrief. For Arkady’s sake I’m hoping not the latter, though I guess everyone else would like an explanation for McCabe’s gun-pointing??

likes solving problems without guns, would prefer solving them by FLYING SPACESHIPS

Krejjh watches McCabe’s gun strategy work on Arkady and goes “do you folks really live like this?? why???”

I do love that their first thought on what to do next is to run a bunch of supplies around, probably between human populations that are going to be a wary at seeing a dwarnian show up. (Eat it, Eejjhgreb)

Kinda wonder if their feelings about getting choked out by their buddy are in fact more complicated than “it’s chill dude, please don’t do something stupid”

The cutest vow

who needs to calm down your crewmates with annoying words when you can just point a gun at them

Seriously where is the human-dwarnian war AU where it lasts longer or happens later where McCabe is the baby sniper posted to Arkady’s unit and they squabble a bunch (and perhaps kiss? When I wrote my third ever ficlet for this fandom never did I anticipate actually being interested in that)

what % of their Mirzakhani choice was thinking “what if Arkady tries to run from the goat farm and no one’s around to point a gun at her” jk jk

Their exclusion of Park from authority figures that didn’t disappoint them is fascinating. Is it that he left hoping for Shelly when it probably wasn’t her, or that he isn’t an authority figure anymore, a combination there of?

Or worst of all, is it that when he didn’t kill Krejjh back in 1x10, that really was a disappointment, no matter how much it might’ve been mixed with relief, and you can’t undo that moment?

What if they and Park talked. But I don’t think Park is going to goat planet, so that seems unlikely.

Their apology to Sana for heightened Martineau security! And Sana reiterating the profound gratefulness bit, gah

mostly read other people’s words and yet sparked consideration of two different OT3s, her power.

you know what, everyone deciding Sana is the best person to read words makes complete sense

There was one specific moment this episode that sent my mind into a tizzy about V/A/S, and it was Arkady going FINE GO ASK THE CAPTAIN THEN at how firm Violet was that Tripathi would be the one driving her, not Arkady.

I need you to understand that my V/A/S OT3 opinions are such that my shipping feels were more set off by that than Sana and Violet telling Arkady they were proud of her for choosing goat planet or whatever, like I don’t even know what dynamic was so captured by that argument, rip at Arkady having to be systems apart from them again

Though ofc my heart was buoyed by Sana’s earnest “Kady, you do more than that”, I want these two to go do a job together again, I miss that

To shift gears, I cannot believe “Lenny” started out as Sana being absolutely furious at the people threatening her crew and has ended up a teasing in-joke between her and Park, my Sana/Park shipping feels were very content. (When does Sana learn that Park didn’t get to hear the long list of fake crimes the Rumor crew specifically confessed to Lenny? This must be fixed. Tell him about the diamonds!)

Campbell said “Park, let me show you where we’ve been sleeping.” and my brain went. Wait. This is actually a good OT3?? Park is already unnerved by Sana’s earnest captaining, he should get unnerved by Campbell’s default magnanimity, please consider this

this is also where I point out that all these major characters have very convenient names for indicating ships solely via letters. V/A! B/K! S/P/C! This may solve my ot3 tagging problem...

get off that cotton candy boat, vi

Haha I loved that line from Doc Robinson she’s so no-nonsense, love Violet agreeing to work with her

Doc also said menders and I thought about this post again and also the team split and ahhh

But no, I very much liked Violet gently crushing Arkady’s goat farm dreams, and the two of them awkwardly discussing the very awkward stage things are at while still getting a feel for how the other operates

These nerds are trying and I’m still fond of them

at some point I was gonna make fun of Vi for not being able to drive before realising 1. she probably didn’t want to deprive the others of a vehicle 2. that would be incredibly hypocritical of me

wait does the igr have excellent public transport when they aren’t bombing it i take back every bad thing i’ve said abou-

*ahem* same question about the MMA fight debrief I had for Brian, it would be so funny if the situation was so rushed that like, Arkady+McCabe explain to Brian on the farm and Krejjh has to tackle everyone else

tick, tock, walking bomb, when it stops, nobody knows

arkady is so whumpable, and this show knows it

Redundant, but love how terrified of herself she is after hurting Krejjh and how strangely reassured she is by McCabe’s gun antics. And how she doesn’t like thinking of herself as an authority figure on the ship even though she literally is as First Mate

is ready to monologue about all major life events and the crew frickin knows it

is trying to help herself and stuff, still grumbling about it. in worse shape this season than last - probably all the constant discussion of the inevitable war just kept building stuff up and she kept ignoring it because haha who wants to deal with this prickly mess of a person haha

did i mention she’s the best

hope she gets her full goat farm dream one day, even if it’s not on actual goat farm

#tscosi #tscosi spoilers #jaggedwolf rambles #real rambling times yikes #mine #tscosi reviews

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lucky-katebishop · 4 years

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8 Underrated Comedy Mysteries

So weird comedy tv shows are kind of my niche, and I realized I’ve seen a few comedy shows that revolve around mysteries and an intriguing plot line, so I wanted to make a list to share them in case you haven’t heard of them! Not all of them are mysteries, like Miracle Workers, but it does have a plot that puts you on edge and every episode does end with a cliffhanger, so I’m adding it!

1. Santa Clarita Diet

I’ve already talked about this show on one of my previous posts, but that’s because I love this show so much and is actually the one that inspired this post! Santa Clarita Diet is about a woman, Sheila, who mysteriously becomes undead, and her family who try to talk her out of her impulsivity to kill anyone she sees and get away with it. Her husband Joel tries to figure out how she became undead, how to stop it, while also trying to keep Shiela’s murders under wrap so they won’t be caught. The characters are adorable, the women are badasses and the men have the most respect for women, and the comedy is top notch. Every time I watch it, it blows my mind that all three seasons take place over the course of like two or four weeks because that’s how much shit they have to get through just to survive. It’s a tad gory, especially with the first episode (there’s a huge vomit scene but that’s easily skippable) but if you don’t mind blood and guts, this shouldn’t be an issue! It was cancelled with three seasons but I still say it’s well worth the watch!

2. People of Earth

People of Earth is about aliens! It centers around journalist Ozzie who is investigating reports of alien abductions and meets a support group of alien abductees all the while actual aliens are looking at them from above. This was also cancelled but it’s a great mystery show which always ends on a cliffhanger. What makes it even more intriguing for me is that the aliens are able to go undercover as human beings so they can make sure that their identities aren’t being figured out, so it’s a great comedic fish out of water sort of thing. You’ll fall in love with the rag-tag team of alien abductors and abductees as you unravel whether or not the people of earth find out about what’s been going on. The comedy is witty and smart and you’ll quickly find that you won’t be able to stop laughing and watching.

3. Search Party

This show is a fantastic millennial play on Nancy Drew (kind of like if it were mixed with Girls) where the main character, Dory, finds out that an old friend of hers disappeared and she becomes obsessed with it, trying to string along clues in order to find her along with the help of her self-obsessed friends. It’s so much more than I expected it to be, and I promise you, don’t give up on this show. The first episode is a bit rough but once you get going, you’ll become even as obsessed as Dory to solve the mystery of Chantal’s disappearance. I didn’t end up watching the other seasons, as I found season one to be so good that I was afraid of ruining the show for me (I kind of saw it as a perfect limited series and I was too scared that would be ruined) but from what I read, it’s still going strong with four seasons!

4. Barry

Okay, so this one isn’t that underrated, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, but it’s still nonetheless a very good show and I had to add it. It’s about character Barry who is a hitman who, while on his way to finish off an assignment, finds himself in the middle of an acting class and falls in love with it. He finds that giving up his old habits isn’t as easy as he expected them to, and he finds the balance between living a normal civilian life and carrying out the duties of his mercenary job a difficult thing to do, especially considering Sallie, an incredible actress in his class that he finds himself falling for. It’s hilarious, it’s depressing, it’s magnificent, it’s everything you didn’t expect but love and I really recommend this show to everyone (especially those who also had that weird Bill Hader phase after IT: Chapter Two came out). The reason I’m putting it in this category is because there is a mystery every season of whether or not his acting friends are going to find out about his secret life, and it’s very interesting and it always has me on the edge of my seat.

5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgis, cute British detectives, badass female characters, and a really cool murder investigation? Oh, and a punk band! It’s been a few years since I watched it, so my memory is a little hazy on the plot, but what I can remember it’s about Todd (played by Elijah Wood) who becomes the main person of interest for a murder which he didn’t commit. Todd meets Dirk Gently, a man who claims that everything is holistic (meaning that everything everywhere is fundamentally connected in ways that is up to the universe), who begs him to join his detective agency to figure out the murder, which strings them along a very weird and very connected case. It has two seasons but was sadly cancelled, but the two seasons are extraordinary and hilarious.

6. Trial and Error

Trial and Error is about new defense lawyer, Josh, going to goofy and backwards town South Peck to defend Larry Henderson who is being accused of killing his wife. It’s a hilarious take on murder mysteries, and each episode brings with a new piece of evidence. It has a wonderful father/son bonding relationship between Josh and Larry, and a colorful cast of misfits and oddballs who are all trying (in the words of the show) to get Larry off. I couldn’t praise this show more because of the goofiness and satirical nature of the jokes, all the while being incredibly heartfelt. It has two seasons, with season two revolving around the defense for self titled “Lady Killer” Kristin Chenoweth’s Lavinia Peck.

7. Miracle Workers

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgi- oh wait, sorry, this is Daniel Radcliff, my bad. An anthology series, the first season deals with angels Craig and Eliza who try to convince Steven Buscemi’s God not to obliterate the earth with the help of his right hand man Sanjay Prince by answering a miracle: getting awkward dorks Sam and Laura together. They only have two weeks to answer this prayer, which is a lot harder to solve when everything is going against them, including extremely shy Sam and Laura. It’s hilarious, it’s witty, it has Daniel Radcliff, I mean this is an extremely amazing show! Season two has nothing to do with a mystery, and revolves around the same cast as different characters in the dark ages, but I still highly recommend that one as well because it’s just as funny.

8. Russian Doll

Thursday. What a concept! (Yes, that’s what that gif is from and in context it’s highly hilarious) This show is about Nadia, a woman who keeps her feelings to herself and her opinions out in the open, on her 36th birthday, who finds herself reliving the same day over and over again. She tries to solve the mystery and how to get out of that ridiculous time loop when she meets Alvin, a man who is also in the same time loop. It’s a story about love, friendship and loss, and I cry like a baby every single time I watch it. It has some of the most incredible writing and the pacing is excellent. It’s four hours of pure genius but it does also deal with trauma and depression so please check out the warnings. It came out in 2019 and I’ve watched six times, that’s how much I love this show!

That’s the end of my list, I hope you agree with the shows on here and give me some recommendations if I missed some of your favorite mystery comedies. :)

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mrslilyrogers · 4 years

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Betrayal Part 6

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: (AU) Set in New York. You and Bucky have been married for 5 years. He’s the love of your life and you are his. At least, you thought you were until he started slipping away from you, coming home late and smelling of another woman’s perfume? You are in denial. Are you just losing your mind or are you really losing him?

Author’s notes: Sorry this took so long. I’ve just been going through something at home. I posted about it, I think a week or two ago. Anyway, thank you for those who reached out to me and thank you for all your feedback with this. Really warms my heart and has been such a great help. This chapter is a bit longer than usual, I hope that makes up for it. Let me know what you think! :) Oh, and if you want to be tagged, please message on my ask. Thanks!

Warnings: Cheating, Angst

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Bucky let out a yawn as he opened the door to their apartment. He couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips as he took the stairs two steps at a time. Excitement building up in his chest to see his girls despite being so sleep deprived the past few weeks.

“Trust me, my friend, enjoy your time now. You’d be lucky enough to get three hours of sleep before you hear that wail of death again,” Thor had warned, all serious and brooding, as they lifted heavy weights at his gym the week prior to Y/N’s due date. To Bucky’s horror, he was proven right. They barely had time for themselves anymore, let alone sleep. Today, was his first day back at work since Y/N had given birth and he was so tired, he almost dozed off at their meeting. It was a good thing Sam had backed him up but of course, only for the price of constant teasing after. “Hell, it’s only been a few weeks and you already look like the walking dead, Barnes! Even Thor looked better than you, and that’s saying a lot,” he motioned around his stomach, referring to the time their usually fit trainer and gym buddy gained weight after welcoming his first child. So naturally, when Bucky refused to go with them for their usual after-work training, Sam couldn’t help but quip,

“You’re losing touch, Barnes! Next thing we know you’d lose all that hair and have a beer belly, god, I’m never having a baby!”

Bucky just rolled his eyes and dismissed him with a casual “Later, Wilson,” not bothering to have a witty retort as he always did. Sam tsked him and shook his head, giving him a genuine smile despite his teasing manner. Bucky really couldn’t care less about putting on a few pounds. He just wanted sleep and his wife. And of course, to see his daughter, because no matter what he just couldn’t blame his little miss smarty pants, always knowing when her parents had closed their eyes to rest so she could wake them up again.

He thought his first day back at work would’ve given him the respite he needed from taking care of a newborn baby for weeks but all day, he had just missed his little Lizzie. It was as if holding her in his arms after a long day at work was his prize. It didn’t help that as much as Sam had teased him, Steve wouldn’t stop remarking on his change in attitude, “This is great. I’m so proud of you, Buck.” while patting his back like the big brother he was. Bucky had just scoffed at him, not at all knowing how to respond. Steve was the only one who had been there for him all those times he and his sister had been under Rumlow’s care. He knew the things they went through and how having a family terrified him. His reassurances meant more to him than he could admit. He vowed he’d never make his daughter feel unwanted and unloved like how he was throughout his childhood when both his parents died abruptly leaving him and his sister abandoned to the foster care system. A chill went up his spine at the remembrance of all the “conditioning” he went through, all the pain he had to endure to achieve the “order” Rumlow so devoutly believed in. The slight tremor in his hands warned him he was getting in too deep. He took several deep breaths as he tried to shake off the memory. It was all in the past now. Even Becca had moved on, married right out of college and started her own little family. Y/N and Lizzie were his future now, this family they were building was more important to him than anything else. A dream he never thought he’d have.

He slowly opened the door to their bedroom quietly, not wanting to wake Lizzie up if Y/N had finally gotten her to sleep. She must’ve been bored out of her mind with her taking the time off her newly-built bakery to take care of Lizzie while they haven’t sorted their schedules out yet. All week, she had been worried about how they were all coping without her. He brought the tulips up with a big grin on his face, ready to gift it to her as a peace offering from her time off work and hoped it could cheer her up even for just a little bit. His eyes landed on her curled up on the bed, a bit of her hair falling on the side of her face, her even breaths putting him at home as she peacefully dozed off. He looked to the bassinet beside the bed, a soft smile playing on his lips. His little girl slept like an angel with her pink cheeks and her tiny mouth puckering as she dreamed. He placed the flowers on the bedside table, giving Y/N a kiss to her forehead before heading to the bathroom to change, all the while wondering how he got so lucky after everything he’s been through. He met the love of his life in college, married her after eight years of being together then had a baby girl in their first year of marriage. Maybe the universe wasn’t out to get him after all.

He snuggled next to Y/N, draping his arm across her waist. She moved back into him, her back to his chest as he pulled her close, drinking in the scent of her hair, sleep already seeping into his tired mind until the “wail of death” broke free. A lazy smile formed on his lips. He knew it, his little girl was smart.

“Ugh,” Y/N grumbled, already making her way to stand up.

“No, no. Go back to sleep, I’ll get her,” Bucky said as he kissed her on the cheek and stood up before she could protest.

“But you just got home, Buck,” she complained but didn’t make a move to leave the bed.

“Shh,” he smiled back at her, picking his little Lizzie up.

“How are you sweetie? Are you hungry? You just miss Daddy, don’t you?” He cooed, rocking her in his arms while Y/N watched, her heart in her eyes. He continued to coo and rock her and soon the baby went back to sleep. He looked up to Y/N with a cocky grin on his face only to find her with her phone out, taking a video of the moment. He rolled his eyes, “If you continue to take videos of me and Lizzie, you’ll run out of space on your phone. But see, I told you, she just missed her dad!” He then proceeded to make a show of a sleeping Lizzie to Y/N’s phone while she giggled in the background.

“Yeah right. You just got lucky, Buck,”

“Oh come on, you must admit she’s always calmer when I’m around,”

Y/N laughed again, ending the video and putting her phone back on the bedside table, finally noticing the flowers.

“Aww, babe you didn’t have to,” she said, bringing it up to her nose. Her heart skipping a beat as she watched him smile at her. She’d never get tired of his smiles, she thought, not knowing he was thinking the exact same thing about her. Her smile faltered for a split second as she brought the flowers back down to the table. It wouldn’t have been noticeable to anyone else, but Bucky knew when something was bothering her. He noticed it ever since they got back from the hospital four weeks ago.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, concern in his eyes as he held on to Lizzie.

“It’s nothing, really,” She waved him off again, shaking her head.

“Y/N…” He warned.

“I just… I’m just thinking maybe I should sell Winter Bakery—”

“No,” He cut her off before she could even finish her sentence, his voice stern.

“Hear me out, Bucky. This makes sense. You’re about to get promoted and I’ve only been open for a year. I know, for sure, we’ll get losses from this but if we plan it right, It shouldn’t be so hard. We have Lizzie now. I don’t think I can do both—,”

“Yes, you can.” Bucky cut her off again, determinedly reassuring her. She wished she had that same faith in herself but she just shook her head. How could she be a mother and manage her own business at the same time? Winter Bakery had just been opened for a few months before she realized she was pregnant. She remembered all those days she sluggishly went to work with her belly swollen, trying her best to show her employees that she knew what she was doing but deep down inside, she had no clue. All the anxiety she was facing with opening her own bakery cafe and being a new mother were all too overwhelming for her. She was in uncharted territories. It was pathetic. She was pathetic. This was not how she imagined their first year of marriage would be like at all. They hadn’t planned to get pregnant. They were going to wait it out, prioritize their careers first before they even discussed having a baby. Now, their plans were all screwed. And she hated herself for thinking that way, she loved Lizzie with her whole heart, seeing her for the first time she knew she’d never love anyone the way she loved her child and yet… the guilt was eating her alive and she hated herself for it. Winter Bakery could wait, she just has to—

“Y/N come on, this is your dream.” Bucky’s convincing voice cut her out of her reverie.

“Yes, but it’s different now. It’s not just the two of us anymore, Bucky. We have Lizzie, and you’re about to get promoted. You can’t just slow down in your job but I still can. I’ve only been open for a year—”

“Yes and you’d stay open for a lot more. Come on, we can do this, Y/N. Tomorrow, I’d get off work so you can visit your shop,”

“Bucky, you just got back to work. You can’t miss it tomorrow.” She replied exasperatedly. The reason he went back earlier despite Shield having a longer paternity leave was for his promotion. He needed to clock in more hours, show that he was up for it.

“Watch me,”

“Bucky, come on. You’re getting promoted remember? Steve said so himself, it’s almost already a done deal. I’m being serious,”

“And I’m not?”

She gave him a face that said he was pushing his luck and he tried his best not to laugh at her. She looked adorable whenever she gave him that face. He flashed her her favorite smirk as he put Lizzie down. Lying back down beside her, he let out a huge exhale.

“Come here,” he said, beckoning his arm out for her. She laid her head on his chest, right under his calm heartbeat, feeling herself relax in sync with him. He softly played with her hair, brushing his lips on her forehead gently.

“I’m being serious too, Doll. Stop doubting yourself. You’re more than capable enough to handle this. I know you,” Bucky reassured her, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“But how can you be so sure, Buck? I have no idea what the hell I’m doing half the time,” she replied, hating the whine that seeped into her voice.

Bucky chuckled from underneath her, the rumbles from his chest somehow easing her worries. “Baby, you married me. What more proof do you need?”

“Come on, you’re not that bad,” she said, feeling a smile tugging at her lips despite herself as she propped her head up to look at him.

“Babe, seriously. Go to your shop tomorrow. I can get Steve to cover for me. With this promotion, I’ll be earning a lot more. We can get the best day care for Lizzie when you start going back to work. Hell, even hire a nanny if we really need to. We’ll be fine, Y/N. I promise, trust me.” He said, tucking her stray hair back behind her ears. He looked at her with all the trust and encouragement in his eyes.

“We’ll make it work?” She asked, doubt still in her voice but feeling a weight being lifted off her chest.

“We’ll make it work.” He reassured her, nodding his head before craning his neck forward to give her a gentle kiss, calming all the worries and tension she’d been feeling all day. That night, as sleep claimed her, she had a gnawing feeling deep in her gut that no matter what happens with Winter Bakery, everything was still going to be okay. Because she’d always have Bucky.

______________________________________________________________________

Y/N waited in bed as Bucky tucked Lizzie in after getting home from the hospital. Soon after Steve had left, the test results came back and it turned out she had a UTI. They were immediately discharged when her fever had lowered with a prescription of a round of antibiotics. Y/N let out a sigh, it had been such a long night and she was relieved and thankful Lizzie didn’t have anything more serious. As to Bucky, she felt… oddly calm and relieved too. Finally, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. Her marriage, although broken and beaten, was at least honest now. Only question was, where do they go from here?

Bucky cleared his throat when he entered their room, Y/N looked up at him from her perch on her side of the bed with an empty look on her face. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what she was thinking, he didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. And it was his damned fault that he couldn’t. He only wished he could turn back time and undo all the mistakes he made because it wasn’t worth it. None of it was worth it to lose his family.

“How long has it been going on, Bucky?” She asked him, her voice numb. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. Why did she want to hurt herself like this? Did she know it would hurt him just as much too?

“Y/N, please don’t ask me that,”

“You wanted to explain, didn’t you? So do it now, answer my question, explain. How long has it been going on?” She asked again patiently. She didn’t know where the hell she got her patience from but it was better than breaking down and throwing things at him which was what she always thought she might do. Silly of her to think she’d even have the energy for that.

“Two months.” He answered truthfully, letting out a puff of air as his jaw twitched, his hands forming fists at his sides, trying his damned best to keep his distance and not to wrap his arms around her, to prove his love for her. He knew it wouldn’t work anyway and she deserved better than that. She nodded her head as if considering but in all honesty, she didn’t even know where she was going with this, she didn’t know why she was asking things that would break her. All she knew was that it was better to know than be kept in the dark, better than being lied to.

“How did it start?”

“Y/N…”

“How did it start, Bucky?”

”I, I met her at a bar,” Bucky uncomfortably answered, swallowing a lump in his throat. No more lying. But a voice in the back of his head told him this wasn’t going to end well. She was going to make him leave. He was going to lose her.

“You say you don’t love her. You love me?” She asked, her voice finally breaking, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She fought so hard not to cry, her throat worked as she swallowed down her tears, her body stiffened at trying to control herself, to keep herself together. Bucky was in front of her in a stride. Kneeling down, he put his hands on her arms and stared deep into her eyes willing her to understand and to listen to him.

“Yes, god, yes! Y/N, I love you. You’re the one I love. I swear, it’s always been you,” He said frantically, slightly shaking her, his eyes convincing her to take him back but she just stared back at him doubtfully, her brows furrowed. She shook her head as she backed away from him and stood up.

“No, Bucky. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have cheated on me.”

“Two months!” She screamed exasperatedly as if finally understanding everything he’s told her. How could he have slept beside her and pretended everything was alright for two whole months while meeting up with another woman? How could he tell her he loved her when he had been lying to her face? It was as if a dam had broken loose inside her, all of her emotions spilling over.

“I can’t even look at you right now, Bucky. How can you do this to me? To us? To Lizzie? We’re your family.” She paced the room, her hand on her forehead as she tried to think back on all those times she tried to make it work. “You know, I don’t even know if I believe you! You’ve been way distant for longer, I doubt it’s only been for two months!”

“No, Y/N! I’m not lying about that, I swear! No more lies anymore. Y/N please... I’m sorry,” He pleaded, his voice becoming desperate. Did it even matter anymore that he wasn’t lying now? The point was that he still fucked up. And there was nothing he could do to make it right. He had no excuse, he was a selfish bastard.

She scoffed at that, her voice incredulous as she whirled back at him, “A little too late for that, don’t you think? What did you think, Bucky? That you’re the only one who makes sacrifices? I know starting a family was the least of priorities when we got married but we said we’d make it work. You promised, we’d make it work! I’ve stayed loyal to you throughout everything and this is how you treat me when you say you love me?”

“I’m sorry,” He hung his head knowing his words weren’t enough. He wished she would punch him, hurt him, do her worst to make herself feel better because she deserved that. God, she deserved better than that.

“Get out, Bucky. I don’t care where you stay, just please leave.” Her voice quivered, tears welling in her eyes. She tried to regain her composure but her traitorous tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Y/N, I… please just tell me what to do to fix this and I’ll do it. This is completely my fault. There’s no excuse, but please, just please give me another chance,” Bucky desperately tried to get near her again, to hold her close but she stepped back as if his touch would burn her.

“For months, you’ve made me feel like I wasn’t enough and still I ran after you. What? You think I didn’t know? You come home late at night drunk and smelling like her perfume and you think I wouldn’t notice? All those times I waited up for you, cooked your favorite dinner, come by your office only to find you not there but still, stupid me, hoped you’d come to your senses and get back to me.” She laughed dryly at that, shaking her head at her foolishness but continued on, he needed to know how he made her feel. She wanted him to hurt as much as she was hurting.

“It’s too late, Bucky. I… god! Can you believe that, Buck? I knew all along but I ignored it ‘cause I knew I’d let it all go if you just stopped. You had me wrapped around your fingers, doing anything for your whim, following whatever you wanted and I lost myself in it! You’ve made me into such a fool and I can’t even blame you for it! I was so stupid for you. And that’s my fault. I deserve better, no more of this. You need to leave, I don’t care where you go. Stay in your office or go to her house. I don’t care, just leave!”

Bucky stared at her, a lump painfully lodged in his throat as what she said dawned on him. Shame, guilt and regret punched him in the gut. He hated himself more than anything. He’d been such an asshole, the worst husband he could imagine. How could he have treated the only woman he’s ever loved like this? What kind of a sick monster was he?

“I’m sorry,” he says again, pathetic words he knew wouldn’t change a thing. He turned to leave, feeling her eyes boring into his back, hoping against all odds that she’d call him back. Once he reached the door, his hand lingered on the knob, there was one more thing he needed to ask, and he was afraid to even think about what she would say.

“Y/N...” he turned back to look at her, his eyes searching and pleading.

“What are we going to tell Lizzie?”

Y/N sighed, burying her face in her hands. She looked so small and defeated and all Bucky wanted to do was to run to her and envelope her in his arms, hug all her problems away. But he was the one who caused all of this and there was nothing he could do but to accept whatever she wanted to throw his way.

“I don’t know, Bucky. I don’t know,” her gaze drifted skyward, as if she could get her answers from there. She was confused, her bravado slipping. It was a different thing when she thought he hadn’t cared at all, that he was going to give them up for his mistress but he wanted to stay, he wanted to fight. And who was she to take her daughter’s father away from her? It wouldn’t be fair to Lizzie.

“I’m going to tell her you’re called for work and need to be away for awhile. At least, while she’s sick. I don’t want to stress her out more and then, we’ll give her the talk,” her eyes didn’t betray the warring emotions in her heart. She wanted him to see that she was determined. She wasn’t backing out, he was still leaving. Period.

Bucky nodded, giving her a grateful, forlorn smile. She was the best mother he could’ve asked for his child.

“Thank you, Y/N. I’ll grab my stuff tomorrow. I promise you won’t have to see me then. But baby, please, think about this. Don’t give up on us, give me another chance to prove myself, please,” he pleaded with her again, hoping if he gave her enough space she’d want to talk soon. She just stared at him, her eyebrows knitting. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t even really know how these things went.

“I’ll give you all the time you need, Y/N. But please just, please don’t give up on us,” he begged again, softly this time. His eyes conveying all the guilt and fear he felt and all Y/N could do was nod. What was she supposed to say anyway? Say “thank you” to the only decent thing he could do? She wanted to laugh at the irony of that. The best thing the man she loved could do for her was to leave her alone. What has her world come to?

“Bucky, wait,” she called out as he opened the door. Bucky looked back at her, his hopeful eyes scanning her face. Y/N felt shame and anger boiling in her veins, making her resolve stronger.

“Could you leave your keys once you get your stuff?” She asked coldly, keeping her voice strong. If he thought she was going to be easy, he was wrong.

“Of course,” Bucky assured her, willing to give her the world if she just asked him to.

“Take all the time you need. I… just know, I’ll always be here, waiting,” he said sincerely, humbly, laying his soul at her feet. He didn’t care if it took forever, whatever it takes.

Part 7

Tags: @wannabedaphne @pinkisokay @jgiiy @scarletnerd05 @93generation @i-ship-it-ironically @ilovesupersoldiers @joannie95 @xapham @vherriepie @foreveralone19588 @angstytoddd @nsfwsebbie @thisishowdynastiesareborn @learisa @bucky-fanfiction @guns-and-angels @mylife-love-and-other-things @iheartsebastianstan @tinystudentfirepurse @captainamerica-is-bae @cloudyskylines @chipilerendi @yesfanficsaremylife @mcueveryday @visiblethirdspace @afterlaughter27 @mr-robot-x @captainchrisstan @agusdoti @mrsfox79 @cha-lyn @xoxabs88xox @rinkashirikitateku @racing-against-the-sunset @thefridgeismybestie @inactivewhore @doyleme1103 @rynabarnesrogers @remilupin22 @winterboobear11 @marvelousbarnes @groovyhumantrashherring @sarcastic-and-cool@enchantedcruelsummer @princesskhy @unlikelygalaxygiver @atomicsoulcollecto@fandomsfallnomore @ritzintherabbithole @too-many-lanes @jxtr610 @alice-went-away @eliza5616 @winterisakiller @grcviity @whydididothis44 @justreadingfics @mrsdeanwinchester19 @buckys-stuff @blameitonthecauseway @queenbeered @inactivewhore @a--1--1–3 @fireflyserenity2325 @wintersoldierissucharide @cutie1365

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fanfic #steve rogers #betrayal #marvel fic #marvel x you

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washymylifeaway · 4 years

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SakuAtsu Fanfic recs

Edit: minor changes (grammar and stuff) cause I rushed this :’)

EDIT: PT 2 IS OUT

OKAY so I meant to make like a long list of MULTIPLE VARIOUS ASSORTED ships but as I was making it I realized I had WAY too many SakuAtsu fics. Like TOO MANY AHHHH. Anyway, I decided that for the sake of everyone, I should just make a separate post LOL oops I’m sorry but I’m so far into SakuAtsu hell it’s not even funny :))))))))) I tried to keep things short so I could not BORE you while reading this post LOL, but also THERE WILL BE A PT 2 because I cut myself short in order to get this out for.....

THE BEST BOY SAKUSA KIYOOMI’S BIRTHDAY I LOVE HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD TOO :DDDDDDDDD

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Some of my FAVORITE writers CHECK TAGS AND WARNINGS PLS-

astroeulogy // I LOVE their works and they write BEAUTIFULLY AHHHHH!!! My fav? Possibly Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (T) 6.7k, but all of them are SO good! (My love for mythology really be showing here hehe.)

DeathBelle // this writer is on SO many of my posts cause I ADORE the way they write and characterize!!! My fav? Burden of Blame by DeathBelle (E) 91.2k but you already knew that LOL. I love the other ones too, but mafia? UGH.

hatsuna // ahjfsdjfhkasj need I say more? There isn’t a lot BUT the ones there are so so good! My fav? Pas De Deux by hatsuna (T) 19k surprise :D I love this one for their interactions but also Omi’s childhood! It’s really good (and you don’t even need to understand ballet) <33333

bastigod // again another writer you will be seeing in other posts because their writing gives me LIFE AHHH. My fav? my love, take your time by bastigod (T) 9k again you already knew this, but I LOVE THIS ONE ahagdhls. I have reread this one so many times oops hehe :)

volchitsae // I LOVE THIS WRITER, like some of my favorite SakuAtsu fics are from this writer, like favorites of ALL TIME. Please go read their stuff because I love it so much. My fav? take me to the limit, hold me down there by volchitsae (E) 3.8k this was the fic that got me into their writing, and oops I’ve fallen and I can’t get up haha leave me....

awkwardedgeworth // THE FICS THIS WRITER MAKES AJKASDLK. I love them and everything they make omg!!! My fav? This was SO hard but Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (T) 20.8k cause I’m basic LOL but your flame will not survive in this cold tundra was a close second :’)

TBH, there are more that I don’t have time to get to (I started this a while back but then pretended like it didn’t exist for a while LOL) but these were the ones here hehe :) I could honestly make an ENTIRE fic rec list from these writers alone and it would be WAY too long, so for the sake of everyone,,, MOVING ON

Fics (in no order, but also I’m missing a bunch I LOVE but like I said TIME CONSTRAINTS AHHAHAH RIP)-

the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or, the fine art of emotional recognition) by pseudoanalytics (E) 13.7k // this fic made me laugh so much, starting from the fact that there needed to be clarification (which was, after finishing, understood LOL) that this was indeed NOT a fic with a foot fetish.

Routines (and How to Break Them) by cajynn (T) 1.6k // this fic makes them SO CUTE ugh the fluff ajsjkfhajh. I love how Atsumu just slips into everything Omi does (like a snake) ITS SO ADORABLE AHHH.

sense of purpose (or, what comes next) by pseudoanalytics (T) 3.6k // this fic was so HEARTWARMING!!! It made me kinda sad though cause I’m just that kinda person (and I don’t like to think about the past LOLOLOLOL), but the ending was !!! SO !!! CUTE !!! and I love the ending notes (me too Osamu, me too)!

crushed by citruslemonade (strawberrycitrus) (E) 4.2k // I feel like it’s a crime if I don’t mention this fic LOL and it’s very quick and funny! We all want to be the watermelons in this fic and no I don’t take criticism. No thoughts just Miya Atsumu’s thighs :’)))

Clipped To You by littleboat (T) 8.1k // (cp) okay first of all THERE’S ART, second I love Omi in hair clips <3333 It’s really funny with lots of ~pining~ Atsumu and there’s cameo’s of other players,,, it’s just a great time :D

bet on it by selenophim (T) 13.3k // this is a ~classic~ literally I keep seeing this fic because I like to stalk the relationship tags (LOL) and since it’s so good, I keep seeing it (also LOL). This may be SakuAtsu, but this is Osamu supremacy, again I don’t take criticism LOL.

Just as much by Sapphirine (NR) 16.1k // this is peak gay panic as demonstrated by one Miya Atsumu hehe. This fic is so FLUFF but also PINE! I’ll just be sitting here with my 851 million microorganisms to keep me company cause I’M SINGLE LOL.

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (T) 10.4k // nothing to see here, just Sakusa saying things that make Atsumu’s heart stop ;) I love ~caring~ Sakusa so if you do too, read! But also hello? Perfume drop please,,,,

see this through by basilleia (T) 17.7k // I am shamelessly a HARDCORE Atsumu wears glasses fan, once again, I take absolutely no criticism! Again some ~caring~ Sakusa heheh but also love the twin dynamic in this one!

dogshit (first comes the fall) by kitcassiachan (E) 15.8k // PLEASE CHECK WARNINGS! ngl this was one of the first fics I read for this ship and GOD did it get me hooked onto bottom Sakusa agenda (it really hit different). Of course, I’m not promoting the way this relationship happened (don’t have hate s*x), BUT I have nothing to say other than I had no regrets. RIP (not actually but you’ll get what I mean LOL) Bokuto and Ushiwaka for that matter.

let's get physical by rosegoldwriting (T) 4.3k // I really like medical stuff (you’ll see later LOL) BUT even if you don’t still read it cause IT’S FUNNY OKAY. We gotta love boys day and STD’s~~ (also don’t be stupid like him and get hurt to see hot doctors :))))

all i do is crave by newamsterdam (E) 12.7k // were we waiting for me to bring a 5 + 1 to the table? If so, here it is! We do love the olympics and oblivious Astumu~~

lay it on me (no, really) by ayushi_writes (T) 4.2k // please the way I was hesitant to read it at first but then the ‘being very fond and caring in a homie way haha’ made me read it LOL. The fluff (and Astumu being caring because that is another one of my favorite things to read hehe) in this is almost worth the awkwardness that made me want to go put my head into a hole like an ostrich LOLOLOLOL.

ink blossoms by entrechat (T) 8.1k // I think this fic IS SO CUTE OMG. I love the way Omi sits in the shop to draw was ADORABLE and making them do that to get tattoos? Smart af (and v respectful we stan). Also, I love flower meanings :D

crimson colored lotus by sieges (M) 16.5k // (cp) this was a demon slayer AU LOL. TBH I haven’t watched DS, but you honestly don’t really need to in order to read this LOL. It’s explained really well and the writing is AMAZING! It’s not a linear fic, but you can read it in order if you so choose.

where i want to be by tookumade (G) 8.8k // THIS ONE ahhhhhh so cute I love it. Omi trying SO hard in this relationship and Atsumu being so understanding. I love it here :’)))))

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (T) 19.7k // I LOVE THIS ONE not only cause I love professor AUs (I do, I LOVE THOSE) but also it’s just some great writing :D I really love their interactions and the misunderstanding killed me ahhhhh.

If you were wondering, I already have 50+ fics (yes I counted but no I’m not done looking so there will probably have to be some cuts D:) lined up for pt2 AND I took out series in another post, so yeah this is why it’s a cursed draft hahahaa..... I hope you enjoyed cause SakuAtsu is my life and blood.

#sakuatsu #haikyuu fanfic rec #haikyuu fic recs #fanfic recs #manga #anime #omi’s birthday post #cause I love him #pls don’t come for me #I’m getting to the next one soon #I promise #teehee #we’re here for a good time #and a long one too ig?#haikyuu #hq

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plaidbooks · 4 years

Note

Hi babes - a request that’s kind of specific- (readerxcarisi) this would take place in season 19, episode 8 where Rollins and Carisi are at the shitty motel and they have that moment. So the idea would be that reader is also a detective, maybe newer or something tagging along with them two and reader knows Carisi has a thing for Rollins and reader was with him when they saw the guy leaving Amanda’s room. Reader is there for him after and he realizes maybe he was chasing the wrong girl??

New Girl

A/N: Hey Anon! I had to rewatch this to do some of the dialogue from it (I condensed the first scene so it’s not incredibly long.) but it’s a good idea to rewtach this ep before reading....unless you remember that Heather was the catfisher and stuff. Anyways, this is a little longer cause t’s slower paced. I like the idea of being there for someone without needing to ask. Also yes, I’m taking the chance to flex some sports knowledge, sorry not sorry. Hope you enjoy <3

Tags: none

Words: 2727

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles

“They traced the IP address to West Virginia,” Sonny said to Olivia, as they both came into the precinct.

“Good, get a John Doe warrant and send it to the local precinct,” Liv replied.

“Done and done.”

Liv gave him a smirk. “Then fill up your gas tank. Fin, you’re riding shotgun.”

“Oh, hell no; I’m allergic to West Virginia,” Fin said, leaning back in his chair.

Liv sighed. “Okay, Rollins, you’re up.”

“Really?” she whined.

Liv glanced between the two, already looking tired of this crap. “Come on, someone’s gotta translate for him,” she joked, gesturing at Sonny, who rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go,” you perked up. You were still the new kid, so you were jumping at every opportunity to go out in the field. Plus, you had a massive crush on Sonny, and being stuck in a car with him seemed like a good chance to learn more about him.

Liv gave you a relieved smile. “Thank you; at least someone here wants to work. But I’d also like someone with experience; Rollins, you’re going too.”

***************

The drive wasn’t awkward…at least, not for Sonny and Amanda. They’ve been partners for years now, chatting up a storm. You sat in the back seat, listening in on their stories, jumping in when appropriate, but otherwise fading into the leather behind you. This wasn’t what you had hoped for when you thought about going to West Virginia with Sonny, but at least you were getting some experience in the field…right?

The arrest was quick, painless. You actually found yourself feeling bad for Heather as you had her arrested in her mother’s home. But then you remembered what happened to Katie, and it solidified your resolve.

When Amanda suggested you three, and Chuck, the local officer, go to The Barrel—the local bar—for information, you’re first thought was that maybe alcohol would help you loosen up around Sonny. But after a few shots and a cocktail, all you saw was how he looked at Amanda, and you cursed yourself for not seeing it sooner. Why would he ever fall for someone like you when he could be with someone like her? And they were already so close; what was the point of trying?

Complaining about a headache, you excused yourself, telling them you’d see them in the morning.

“Want me to walk ya back to your room?” Sonny asked, looking concerned.

Your heart fluttered at the thought, but then you remembered the heart eyes he’d been giving Amanda all evening. “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.” You wandered back to the hotel across the parking lot, wiping the tears from your face, locking yourself in your room.

******************

You were in the hotel lobby making yourself coffee when Sonny came in.

“Morning, [y/n],” he said, smiling at you. “Feeling better today?”

You melted at his smile, tears threatening to form again, but you pushed down your feelings. “Uh, yeah, much better. How’d you sleep? Hopefully you and Rollins weren’t up too late.”

“Nah, it was fine. We may have started a bar fight, though,” Sonny grinned at you, and you giggled, trying to picture him fighting anyone. He went about making two coffees and grabbing an assortment of free breakfast foods. He put everything on a tray and you followed him out, heading towards Amanda’s room as he called Liv to give her an update. But you both froze as a man came out of Amanda’s room, both of them chatting for a moment before he left. And Sonny’s face fell as he turned and went towards his SUV instead.

You gave Amanda’s closed door one last look before you went after Sonny. He stopped at his SUV, putting the tray on top so that he could fish his keys out of his pocket. He sniffled and it was only then you realized he was crying.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked tentatively. But you knew the answer—of course you did. Because you had felt your heart shatter last night.

“Fine,” he grunted, opening the driver’s door and sliding in. This was sure to be a fun ride back to New York. Grabbing the tray he had left on the roof of his SUV, you climbed in behind the passenger seat.

You sat in silence for a few awkward moments before you said softly, “I’m so sorry, Sonny. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”

*****************

The ride back was worse, to say the least. The tension in the air was thick, not to mention, you sat in back with Heather, who seemed to be daydreaming about meeting The Monster. You found yourself watching Sonny, or at least, the half of his face that you could see. He was quiet, subdued; so unlike him, and you realized you hated it. You wanted him to be his laughing, jokey self. You tried asking him questions—and Amanda, so you weren’t too obvious—but he wasn’t all there, his mind somewhere far away. Eventually, you gave up. falling into the silence of the drive.

*****************

Liv mercifully gave the three of you the rest of the day off after delivering Heather to the precinct. You were just debating what to do for dinner when there was a knock at your door. Curious, you unlocked it, opening it to see Sonny shuffling on his feet on your doorstep.

“Son?” you asked in confusion.

He gave you a nervous smile. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Course.” You moved out of the way, letting him enter your brownstone.

You both stood there awkwardly before he asked, “have you had dinner yet? If not, I can maybe whip something up? Or I can order takeout?”

“I haven’t yet, no.” Now thoroughly confused, you shrugged, playing along. “Did you have something in mind? I was thinking of ordering a pizza or something….”

“Pizza sounds great. Here, I’ll order. You like pepperoni, right?”

******************

You both idly chatted while waiting for the pizza to arrive, the awkward tension still palpable. Sonny didn’t say why he came over and you didn’t ask. The delivery man showed up soon enough, and Sonny insisted that he pay, so you let him. You found some beers in your fridge, offering one to him, which he gratefully accepted. As you ate, you started talking more, just about where you were before transferring to Manhattan, why you decided to come here of all places. The tension in the air subsided, and slowly, Sonny started talking about himself; his family, his recent accomplishment at Fordham—you had started just after he had passed the bar exam, so you didn’t hear much about it—and how much he loved his job.

“So, now that you passed the bar, are you going to leave us for Barba?” you asked. Sonny cocked an eyebrow, a grin on his face. “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, and you know it,” you giggled, your cheeks burning.

Sonny chuckled at the implication. “I—I don’t know yet. I really do love my job as a detective. But I always wanted to be a lawyer, ya know? And now I can be. But with Mike passing…it just doesn’t seem like the right time.” He took a sip of his beer. “Hey, maybe with you taking over, I’ll be able to. I’d feel less bad leaving the department behind; they won’t be as short-staffed.”

It hurt to think about Sonny leaving; you were just getting to know him. “I still got a long way to go, though. Liv wouldn’t even let me go with you to West Virginia alone. What was it she said? ‘I need someone experienced’ or some shit.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hey, I was in your shoes before, too. It’ll pass quicker than you can blink.” Sonny spun the bottle in his hands. “Besides, I almost wish it was just us, and that Rollins wasn’t…” he trailed off, his eyes staring at nothing.

You swallowed hard. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Hm? Nah…I mean, she’s my partner, yeah? I have her back, and I know she’s got mine…. We’re close and…yeah, I don’t know.” He looked everywhere but at you, a slight pink tint in his cheeks.

You nodded sympathetically. As much as you wanted him to like you, you just wanted him to be happy. And if she made him happy, then you’d have to live with that. “Being so close with someone for so long, it’s not shocking if feelings…developed. Have you talked to her about it at all?”

He shook his head. “Look, I appreciate you trying to help me with this, but can we stop talking about Rollins? Please?”

“Of course. Sorry…. I got ice cream, if you want some dessert?” you tried.

Sonny sat there for a moment, staring a hole into your floor. “You know what? I think I’m gonna get out of your hair.” He stood, stretching. “Thank you for letting me crash your night for a little bit.”

“You sure? You can stay as long as you need,” you replied, but he was already moving towards your front door, sliding his jacket on.

“Yeah, I’ve taken up enough of your time. See ya at work tomorrow.” And then he gave you that heart-melting smile before he was gone.

****************

Whether Fin or Liv could feel the tension in the precinct the next day, you weren’t sure. But Sonny had gone back to his nontalking self, sitting at his desk, working through Heather’s posts. At some point, Amanda invited him to lunch, but he declined. They had a few clipped, whispered words that you didn’t hear, but after she left, Sonny looked upset again.

Standing, you went to the coffee maker, making two cups—one for yourself and one for Sonny. You came back, placing it on his desk, within hands reach. He glanced up at you, and you gave him a soft smile before moving back to your desk, diving in on something to help Barba with his case against Heather.

After another half an hour, Sonny got up, coming over to your desk. “Wanna go grab lunch?”

You looked from him to the mountain of posts and pictures you still had to go through, then back at him. “Please,” you groaned, grabbing your jacket and following him out.

****************

For the next two weeks, you and Sonny would get lunch. Or, if it wasn’t possible to take lunch at the same time, you’d bring each other something, switching off each day. You both also seemed to know when the other ran out of coffee, placing a refill on one another’s desk just as you’d finish the last sip. Conversation started to flow easier between you two, and you found that you highly enjoyed just chatting with him. Every now and again, he’d come over to your place, and you’d just talk; mostly about work, sometimes about your families. You still had a crush on him, but you shoved it down, trying to not let it interfere with work, or with your new-found friendship. Though, you noticed with some glee that he no longer looked at Amanda with that sparkle in his eyes.

On Saturday night, Sonny showed up at your doorstep, a 12 pack in one hand, takeout in the other. “Are you not watching the hockey game tonight?” he asked, his Islanders sweater on proudly.

“I, uh, wasn’t planning on it?” you replied, confused. In all your talks, neither of you had mentioned sports, except that Sonny had played basketball as a kid.

“Pffttt. You are now,” he said, pushing into your place. You giggled, following him to your couch. Plopping down next to him, you grabbed a beer while he flipped through the stations until he found the game. He cheers’ed you, then you both took a sip, watching and yelling at the screen. It was hard not to get caught up in the excitement with him, even if you didn’t know all the rules, nor particularly cared about hockey. You just enjoyed spending time with him.

At some point during the first period, Sonny put his arm on the back of the couch, his legs spread. You never understood how someone so lanky could take up so much room, but it made you smile. He just looked so natural, so comfortable on your couch, and you loved it.

“Come on, Lehner! You gotta cover your 5-hole!” Sonny yelled at the screen, groaning as the Islanders let in a goal.

“Uh, explain that to me, please?” you asked, confused.

Sonny sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees, moving closer to you. “Okay, so, ya see how the goalie, Lehner, has his legs so spread? Well, when the Pens shoot, that’s where they aim, ‘cause it’s his weak-spot and they know it. He’s slow to get his glove there and it’s an easy goal.”

“So…the 5-hole is between the legs?” you guessed.

“Exactly; see? You’re a quick learner,” Sonny smiled at you as the game cut to commercial.

You grinned back. “Well, I have a good teacher.”

Sonny’s eyes lit up with an idea. He put his beer down, then turned to face you. “Here, stand.” You cocked an eyebrow at him but obeyed. “Put your arms out and spread your legs…not that far; be comfortable. Okay, so, right here,” –he put his hand to the left side of your face, above your arm— “is the 1-hole. The opposite side here, that’s the 2-hole. Then here,” –he went back to your left side, under your arm this time— “is the 3-hole, and—”

“The opposite is the 4, and between the legs is 5?” you finished.

That lopsided grin was back. “Exactly.” He looked at the screen as the commercials ended. “Ooh, game’s back, here.” Sonny’s hands went to your hips, sending electricity through you. He dragged you back onto the couch next to him, your leg touching his, and his arm around your shoulders. You couldn’t pay attention to the game as your whole body heated, a stupid grin on your face from the closeness. At some point, you relaxed against him, snuggling into his side. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything. In fact, quite the opposite—when he wasn’t groaning or gesturing at the screen, he had his arm around you, holding you to him.

Once the game was over, Sonny helped you clean up. “Thanks for letting me crash your night again,” he said—the same thing he said every night when he showed up unannounced.

“Anytime,” you replied. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

“Sober as a fox,” he smiled.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that even a saying?”

“It is now,” he declared, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Really though; I’m fine. Thank you for worrying.”

You walked him to the door, holding it open for him. Sonny stopped just outside your place, turning back around to look at you. “Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe,” you said softly.

“Okay, I will…. I, uh, wanted to thank you. Not just for tonight, but for every night…and lunches, and coffees, and just—letting me be me for a little.” He gave you the sweetest smile, and you thought your chest was going to burst.

“Yeah, anytime, Sonny. I want you to feel…safe with me,” you replied.

“I do…I really do.”

You were leaning against your doorframe, and he had one hand on the wall next to it, leaning against it. Slowly, he leaned forward, his face getting closer to yours. Swallowing, and praying you weren’t misinterpreting, you leaned in, too, until your lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. Sonny’s mouth was gentle against yours, his lips smooth, and you stood up on your tiptoes, pressing yourself harder against him, afraid that he’d realize what was happening and that he’d pull away, disgusted. And though he did pull away, his eyes were still closed in bliss, a small smile on his face, one that slowly grew the longer you looked, making your own smile appear.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” you asked, your voice hopeful.

Sonny looked deeply into your eyes, then to your lips, then back to your eyes. “Well, if you insist, maybe I can be persuaded to crash your night a little longer.”

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #thank you Karen for letting me know PScan is an Islander fan #cause I made Sonny a Bruins fan first #I may have forgotten that the Devil Ray's existed #Anonymous

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

Text

Body Art (Angel Reyes)

A/N: Good morning everyone! This was done last night, but work was insane and I didn’t have a chance to post it. Hope you all enjoy this one. It was one of my requests that I have not had the chance to do. But I finally got to do it! I’m making my way through my request list right now, so hopefully I’ll get everyone’s request done soon.

The request list link is below, please check if your request is there, if it is now, let me know so I can put it in! Still currently taking requests if you all would like to make one.

Art smut with angel Reyes! He asks you to let him do body art on you. All front and you’re wearing panties right and he asks you to take your bralette/ bra off and he’s like woah and yea lol - @cherry-icetea

Sorry it took so long love! Hope you enjoy! <3

Enjoy!

Masterlist

Request List tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @iambabyharry : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @briannab1234 : @carlaangel86 : @twistnet : @marvelmaree : @blackmissfrizzle : @thickemadame : @woahitslucyylu : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @sesamepancakes : @enamoured-x : @encounterthepast : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @elcococruz : @gemini0410 : @cherry-icetea : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @xserenax-13 : @whyisgmora : @samcrobae : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @lady-pswrld

You and Angel have been quarantined together for a month.

While you two enjoyed the other’s company, the movies and television shows to binge on was slimming down. You both loved nature and craved to be outside. You missed being able to just walk outside without a worry.

But you also knew not to be selfish.

This was for the better and it was going to save lives.

But you both were surprised that you haven’t wanted to kill one another. Surprisingly enough, you two enjoyed one another’s company and gave the other space when needed. You two shared a two bedroom apartment. It was nice to share your apartment with a friend, especially one you met through your ex-schoolmate Ezekiel. You and Ezekiel had become close during your first semester at Stanford and when you found out of his fate, you visited him weekly. He didn’t close you off and you were thankful for that. One time you came and his family was there, you met his big brother, Angel and his father Felipe.

The attraction to Angel was immediate, but you kept everything at bay since you both were in different places.

But somehow, four years after meeting, you found yourself in Santo Padre. While you two texted often, you didn’t hang out with Angel much. When he offered to room with you when you immediately moved to Santo Padre, you were hesitant at first, but you realized that there was no other person you would want to room with besides Angel.

Work brought you to Santo Padre. Currently, you were a teacher at the high school. It was nerve wrecking since teenagers could be little shits, but somehow, they enjoyed your world history facts that you always taught them.

Living with Angel was a delight. He always brought you home food when he could and helped you cook when he could. He did your laundry for you when he was doing his. Always made sure your oil was changed for your car and everything. And it was always a plus to see Angel walking around shirtless. That man was a god and if you just had some guts, you would jump him, but there was always this unspoken thing between you two. EZ was his younger brother and you were EZ’s best friend, you two were just not allowed to be together, for EZ’s sake.

Regardless, that didn’t mean your attraction was nonexistent. Angel was very attracted to you, and he has been for years, but his promise to his brother always trumped his desire for you.

However, with this quarantine in place and the time he spent with you, Angel found it harder to resist you. Walking in those booty shorts of yours that showed off your assets. He was a strong man, but there was just so much he could take.

One of the best things about living with Angel was the artwork. He painted your room, the artwork suited you so well. You loved watching Angel paint. Your favorite thing to do was reading a book while Angel painted on the ground, concentrating on his next masterpiece. If this outlaw biker thing didn’t work, he could totally open up a gallery.

Currently, you both were on the couch, finishing up the Punisher. Angel had his head on your lap, as you watched the show intently, digging the storyline and enjoying the eye candy.

“This show is amazing.” You praised it as the ending credits came on.

Angel clicked his tongue. “Or you mean the guys are hot?”

“Don’t be jealous Ignacio, you’re still the apple of my eye.” You pinched his cheek, causing Angel to push your hand away, but he chuckled, loving the feel of your skin on his. It was pathetic really, but he promised EZ he would never fall for you. He thought that maybe EZ was in love with you, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“Want to take a break from watching?”

“Sure, what you got in mind? If you say let’s fuck, I’m going to slit your throat.”

“I love it when you threaten me.” Angel chuckled, sitting up. “Want to help me paint?”

“You know I don’t have an ounce of talent for art in my body.” You’ve painted with Angel a few times and he always told you how you were getting better, but you somehow doubted that. Angel was a great teacher, really nice too. Maybe if he didn’t want to do the art gallery, he could definitely be a teacher.

“No, let me paint you.” Angel really enjoyed your presence whenever he was painting, he felt inspired and encouraged whenever you were around.

Angel has never requested to paint you before. Wait, that’s a lie, he has numerous times but you always shut him down and made an excuse to leave. He knew that you wouldn’t be able to make an excuse today. You were stuck at home after all.

“Me? No way.” You shook your head. “I feel like we can FaceTime someone and you can paint them instead.”

“Come on mi dulce, I’ve always wanted to paint you.” He took your hand in his, trying to ignore the butterflies and the spark that just coarse through your body.

“Angel, let me FaceTime Kristin, remember how hot you thought she was?” You were really trying to get out of this as best as you can. You couldn’t keep still and there was no point in painting you.

He recalled making that comment, but he only said it to get a reaction out of you, which obviously didn’t work. “Nope, I want you.” The way he said it, it made the butterflies in your stomach move around even more wildly than before.

“Can you just not paint me and say you did?” You offered.

“You don’t trust me?”

“No, I’m just shy.”

Angel smirked. “Shy? You don’t have to be shy with me.” He stood up, taking your hand and taking you to his room. “Do me a favor mama, strip to your bra and panty.”

“What?!” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Come on baby girl, you won’t be fully naked.” He tried to ease your shyness.

“Alright fine, but I expect to be compensated for this.” You were comfortable with your body, but this was also Angel who most likely has seen so many beautiful girls naked. And he may have also slept with you before, it was a drunken night which you remembered well however, you weren’t sure if he did. He’s never mentioned it and you didn’t want to be the one to do so.

As you took off your clothing, Angel immediately regretted asking you to be his model. He’s always imagined how you would look in your unmentionables and he was beginning to forget about his promise to EZ and well, he was fucking forgetting EZ.

He’s seen it all before. He was buzzed that night, but he definitely wasn’t drunk. At times, you haunted his dreams, seeing you naked could make any man go crazy and it fucked up Angel. He didn’t even know how to approach the subject and quite frankly, since you didn’t mention it, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to embarrass you or himself.

That one night three months, two weeks, and five days ago was embedded in his mind. He never told EZ about it knowing it would upset his younger brother. But seeing you before him now, Ezekiel could go fuck himself.

“Angel?” You broke him away from his thoughts, biting your lip nervously.

“Sorry, fuck.” He chuckled. “You look fucking gorgeous, querida.”

God when this man spoke Spanish? Used a term of endearment for you in Spanish? It made your thighs clench together because all you wanted to do since that night maybe 3-4 months ago, was fuck Angel again. But with his relationship with EZ just being repaired again, you didn’t want to have them fighting over this. You understood why EZ was protective of you, you technically just had him, but it was also quite annoying.

“Thanks.” You smiled shyly. “How do you want me?”

“You want to lay down? Just so it’ll be more comfortable.”

“Sure.”

Laying down on the floor, Angel looked at your bralette which was burgundy at the area of the cups with flowers branching up from the sides, the bottom of the bralette was black lace. Angel bit his bottom lip, thinking of how he could connect your bra to your panties. Your panties were burgundy, matching your bralette, with lace at the top of your underwear.

You watched as Angel’s eyes roamed up and down your body. It was comfortable, oddly, not creepy whatsoever, but then again, this was Angel. Even though he had this intimidating presence, he was a fucking teddy bear that loved affection and being spoiled.

“Can you at least give me a pillow?” You requested.

Angel chuckled, handing you a pillow. “Don’t know if I told you yet, but you look absolutely stunning.” He began to feel nervous, unsure if he could actually do this. But he reasoned that of course he could, why wouldn’t he be able to do so? He was an artist, he could push his desire for you to the side while he was touching your body.

Fuck. He was screwed.

Taking out the paint for him to use, he picked burgundy, white, green and a light shade of blue. He had this picture in his mind that he wanted to portray on your body, but all he could picture was having you naked, your sweaty body against his, you breathily moaning, gasping out his name. He shook his head, trying to concentrate. He could paint on you, this was going to be easy.

Angel began to paint on the black lace of your bralette, a giggle escaping your lips. He chuckled, forgetting how ticklish you were. This whole quarantine has been ridiculous, but he never knew how much he would enjoy life just being at home, but that had a lot to do with you. At first you had offered EZ to stay with you two, but EZ insisted on staying with Felipe. Angel didn’t mind, he wanted you all to himself. Even though you two have been roommates, he didn’t know much about you. He barely found out that you were afraid of heights even though you went hiking with him whenever you two had the chance to do so. He also didn’t know you could handle your liquor better than any of the fucking guys, which thoroughly impressed him. He also didn’t know that you have four tattoos, all on your back, that represented major events in your life.

He also didn’t know how much he’s been avoiding his feelings for you till he was stuck at the apartment with you with nowhere to go.

“Is this the set I got you for Christmas?” You asked him as he began his work on you.

“Yeah, it was. I’ve used a majority of the set except for this.” Christmas, it was three days after that you two slept together. Angel woke up and you weren’t in his bed anymore. He was going to bring it up, but it seemed every time he tried, it just never happened. “Do you remember what happened a few days later?”

“When we got plastered and played a prank on EZ?”

It was a few hours before you two slept together. EZ was sleeping so you and Angel had the idea of using a feather and shaving cream, tickling EZ on certain spots on his face till he was fully covered. EZ didn’t wake up till Gilly and Coco busted out in laughter when they walked into EZ covered with shaving cream.

“Oh yeah, good times.” Angel chuckled. You felt his fingers moving across your stomach, spreading the paint. “Why are you so tense?”

“Cause I’m trying not to be ticklish.”

“Or maybe I make you nervous?” You could hear the smugness in his voice.

“Nervous? For what?”

Fuck it.

“I don’t know, you tell me mi dulce.” He moved on your other side, to paint that side. It wasn’t his best work, but he just wanted to touch you. “So do you remember that night?”

“I remember bits and pieces of it.” You were being truthful, but it seemed that Angel was trying to have that long awaited talk. It’s not like you didn’t want to discuss it, you just didn’t know where to start.

‘Hey, remember the time we fucked? Just wanted to let you know that you’re the best fuck I’ve ever had.’

Yeah, that would go over well.

“Do you remember when we had sex?” Angel was playing it nonchalant, painting random patterns on your skin. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing anymore, but he just needed something to distract him, in case you rejected him.

“Yes, I do.”

“Why’d you leave me alone on my bed?”

“Come on Angel, you don’t want to have this conversation.” You didn’t. Angel always seemed forbidden and they were so right that forbidden fruit tasted so much fucking better. You were certain that you and Angel had sex at least four times that night.

“I do, you don’t? I promised Ezekiel that I would never make a move on you, but to be fucking honest, I don’t really give a fuck anymore.” Angel noticed then that he had painted angel wings below the lace of your bralette. He bit his lip, just thinking of how beautiful you would look with something he created tattooed on you.

“What are you talking about?” You slightly sat up, looking over at Angel. He softly pushed you back down so he could continue painting, or whatever the fuck he was doing.

“I like you, I’ve liked you for quite some time but I haven't made a move cause Ezekiel asked me not to.”

You were speechless, unsure of what to reply. You like Angel too, but you were wondering if he just liked you now cause there was no one else to sleep with. But he wouldn’t say those words to you just to get in your pants, it would ruin everything.

“You're kind of making me nervous here.” Saying his feelings aloud made Angel feel vulnerable, made him feel terrified of what the outcome could be.

“I’ve liked you for some time too, but I just figured you didn’t want to cross the line and I could respect that. I left you in bed that morning because I’m not good with rejection. We were both intoxicated and needed some release, I was cool with that.” You truthfully told him. “I think you’re an idiot for listening to Ezekiel.”

The brush strokes stopped and before you knew it, Angel was hovering over you, his lips on yours. His lips were warm, just as you remembered, parting slightly along with yours, his tongue slipping in your mouth. Your hands were on his neck, scratching the back of it. He groaned into your mouth before he pulled away. His eyes roamed down your body, biting his lips as he did.

“Fuck baby, can I take off your clothes?” His voice was so intoxicating, it became deeper. You remembered his voice the most that night. Angel was very vocal, which didn’t surprise you. His mouth made you fucking go insane.

You nodded your head. Angel removed your bralette, licking his lips as his thumb played with your nipple, grazing it softly before rolling it in between two fingers. You bit back a moan, arching into his touch. You’ve slept with a few people after Angel and you were upset how he ruined other men for you. Angel knew your body so well, that one night fucking ruined you and you honestly weren’t even mad about it.

“Are you wet baby girl?” His hand drifted down to your underwear, his art work was slowly being lost with every movement of his fingertips against your skin, but he didn’t care. Your body was art for him, the way you were taking a breathy gasp was music to his ear. He couldn’t wait to hear your moans again. He’s fucked other women after you and he would call out your name, even though the moans, the scent, the feel wasn’t the same.

“Yes,” you answered.

Angel’s fingers slipped underneath your underwear, running a finger up and down your slit. Circling your clit a few times, you moaned out his name, feeling yourself become wetter with every touch. He slipped a finger inside you, pulling it out and adding another when he slipped it back in. Your legs voluntarily widened, accommodating him as he kneeled in front of you. He slipped your underwear down your legs, you were bare in front of him now and he felt his cock twitched as he watched your pussy swallow his fingers.

“Are my fingers stretching you enough baby? Preparing you for my cock?” He kissed your lips, moving down your neck, nibbling, marking you as his. Looking down at his artwork that was smeared by his own fingertips, he had to say that it didn’t look terrible whatsoever, your skin was glistening with sweat. “Can I take a picture of you baby, take on my runs?”

All you could feel was Angel’s fingers working their magic on you. His words registered, but as much as you wanted to fight him about having your nakedness on his phone, it was kind of hot.

“Okay.”

“Yeah baby? Fuck.” Angel got his phone that was on the coffee table, smirking as he opened up the camera app. Your face was covered by your arm, which he didn’t mind. He already had so many pictures of your face, but this was different. He took some pictures before putting his phone away. He felt your pussy clenching as he continued to go in and out, stroking your clit every once in a while. “Oh baby, I feel that. Querida, you cumming?”

“Fuck, yes Angel, holy fuck.” You cried out, back arching as you came.

“For months, I’ve been waiting to see you in this state again, to hear you moaning out my name in a blissful state. Hearing it again, seeing it again, I won’t ever be able to have my fill of you.” He continued to move his finger in and out of you as he said that, helping you through your orgasm.

“I’m feeling it again,” the feeling was building in your stomach, again. You heard Angel chuckle as he took his fingers away, causing you to whine.

He took off his shorts and his shirt, sitting against the couch. He pumped himself as you licked your lips, remembering just how good his cock felt inside of you.

“Like what you see?” Angel held his hand out to you.

You nodded your head, crawling over to him.

“No time for you to suck my dick baby, I need to be inside of you.” He watched as you stood up and slowly squatted in front of him, making him groan. Slowly, you sink down on his cock, stopping every once in a while to adjust to him. He threw his head back, the sensation was incredible. “Look at that pussy stretching to fit my dick.” He rubbed his thumb around your slit, using the wetness to wet it so he could rub your clit.

Throwing your head back, Angel watched the look of pure pleasure on your face, memorizing it. He knew this wouldn’t be the last time he would have you, like he said, he didn’t care what Ezekiel thought. They were adults, you’re a grown ass woman, EZ could suck it up.

You had your hands on Angel’s shoulder, using it as leverage as you moved up and down his cock. The burn, the stretch, everything about it felt amazing. If there was one thing you remembered vividly about that night all those months ago, it was how well you fit with Angel. Maybe it was cliche to say, but you didn’t care, his cock just felt so damn good.

“You feeling good mi dulce, you missed my dick?”

“Do you ever shut up?” You groaned as you felt your movements speeding up, trying to chase that euphoric feeling.

“I could, but I know how much you like my filthy mouth.” Angel pulled you against him, your chest against one another. He wrapped his arms around you, trapping you against him. His hips thrusted upward, hard and fast, and you just took in the onslaught, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your orgasm hit not a few minutes later. He continued to fuck into you, causing you to scratch his sides, moaning out his name over and over again. He slowed down, letting go of you.

Your head landed on his shoulder, your hand on his stomach. “Give me a minute.”

Angel chuckled. “My dick too much for you baby? Don’t worry, we’re gonna be fucking so much, you’ll learn how to keep up with me.” He kissed your shoulder. “This pussy is mine now, hell, it’s been mine since that night.” He pulled you away from him so that he could kiss you, his tongue entering your mouth. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, helping you move up and down as his lips touched yours, his breath just hot against your lips. “We sleeping in the same room now baby.”

It wasn’t even a question, it was a statement.

“My room, I don’t like your bed.” You kissed him again. Pulling away, you ran your fingers through your hair.

“Don’t care which room, as long as you’re in my arms.” Angel laid you on your back, bending your knees and holding them at the back. Looking down at where you two were joined, he smirked. “Can’t believe I listened to EZ.”

“Such a good older brother.” You teased Angel. “Shit Angel, go faster.”

“You don’t like this pace baby? You don’t like it when I go slow, taking my time on you?” Angel ran his hands up and down your thighs, moving it down to your stomach as his art was smeared all around. “I wanna design a tattoo for you querida.”

“No, we have time for that later. Fuck me.” Angel chuckled. “If you fuck me good enough then you can design whatever you want for me.”

You saw how Angel’s eyes darkened, he had your legs hanging on his shoulders. He pounded into you, in and out at a fast pace. You slightly regretted challenging Angel, but this felt so fucking good.

“This hard enough for you baby?” He taunted.

You nodded your head. “It feels so good.”

“Yeah you do, you feel fucking amazing querida.” Angel groaned. “You look so beautiful underneath me baby, you’re just gripping my dick baby. This is my pussy, ain’t no one else ever going to see you this way from now on. Fuck those puto’s you took home.”

Taking one of his hands that was beside your head, you took his thumb into your mouth, sucking on it before you directed it towards your clit. Angel immediately followed your order and rubbed it.

“You look so good like this.” Your eyes were closed, toes curled, and lips bitten. You hold onto one of his arms, nails digging into his skin and he fucking loved it.

“Angel!” You cried out as your orgasm finally came. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He followed right after you, moaning out your name as well. He pulled out, the emptiness making you whimper. Angel helped you up, his cum dripping down your leg. He smirked as he watched it go down and you rolled your eyes.

“Such a guy.” You playfully pushed him.

He wrapped his arms around you from behind, his cock was already semi-hard.

“You ready for round two, cause we ain’t fucking leaving our bed till at least Monday.”

It was only Thursday.

#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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genevievemd · 4 years

Text

Love You Home (1/5)

Chapter One: The Setback

Summary: After months of planning, Ethan is finally ready to propose but catastrophe strikes and it could destroy everything.

A/N: Hi friends! Here we are with chapter one. I’m really excited to finally be sharing this story with you all and I really hope you love it as much as I do.

This is set towards the end of book 3, aka MC’s third year. There is also one flashback per chapter.

Also I put a picture of the ring I decided on at the end of the post incase you want to see it.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Genevieve McClure)

They’ve been arguing since lunch. Well not arguing, bickering would be a more accurate term. Ethan has half a mind to just give in and let Genevieve win. Especially if it’ll stop Baz from gushing about how they “argue like an old married couple.” It’s a ridiculous thing to even be fighting over in the first place, the goddamn car keys.

He’s taking her to the opera tonight, an extravagant evening he’d planned a week in advance. One that will hopefully end with a small velvet box no longer burning a hole in his pocket. His plan was to leave from the hospital, take Gen to see her favorite show, ask her to marry him as the curtain closes, then drive to her favorite bakery where he has a special cake, bottle of champagne and string quartet waiting for them, and then finally back home to have a more private celebration - which included rose petals that have been scattered with the assistance of Dr. Trinh while she took her lunch break .

It’s a possibly too detailed and overly romantic plan proposal plan, that could easily go horribly wrong if they miss even a beat. Which is why her forgetting her dress by the front door this morning is causing him to stress more than he already is.

He can’t exactly tell why she can’t have the keys, why letting her go back to the apartment could ruin the entire evening. But he’s also tired of having the same argument for the last two hours.

Ethan’s positive he’ll give in if she keeps pestering him, the only time she isn’t is when they’re with a patient. But she’s right back to it as they leave the room and walking to the nurse’s station.

“You still haven’t given me a good enough reason.” Gen crosses her arm as she leans against the circular desk, raising her eyebrows in defiance.

Fuck, he’s screwed. “We can just swing home so you can change.”

“And be late? No way. Come on, Please?” She’s giving him the face, the one where she bits her lip and looks entirely too adorable. It’s his weakness, she knows it too.

Ethan sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, he’s lost the fight. “Fine. They’re in -”

“The top left drawer of the desk in your office.”

Gen smirks triumphantly and he’s really going to have to try and find a way to say no to her. As impossible as it sounds.

“Be quick, Rookie. We have a patient coming in.”

“I know. I’ll be back in fifteen. Twenty with traffic.”

She gives him a quick kiss and tries to pull away. But Ethan is faster, grabbing her wrist to pull her back before cupping her face in his hands. Their lips meet in a kiss that is absolutely too passionate for their current surroundings. But he doesn’t care, because by the end of the night she could be his fiancee and then soon enough his wife. And the fact that she’s about to unknowingly ruin the entire thing no longer seems to matter.

“What was that for?” She’s practically breathless, eyes starry and cheeks flushed. It thrills him, that after all this time he can still manage to get her to look at him like that.

“I need a reason to kiss you?”

“No, but you don’t usually kiss me like that in the hospital.”

“True.” He gives her one more quick kiss, before letting her go. Delighting in the way she subconsciously leans towards him. “Go grab your dress, love.”

She gives him that wondrous smile, her fingers brushing against her lips as she tries her best to suppress a giggle. God, how he loves her.

Ethan watches her walk away before turning back to chart in his hands.

“Is tonight the night?” Marlene looks up at him, clearly amused by his public display of affection.

“Pardon?”

“You’re proposing tonight, right?”

“How did you - Naveen?”

“Yes.”

Ethan shakes his head, as they share a laugh. “Page me when Dr. McClure gets back. I’m headed down to the ER.”

“Sure thing. Good Luck tonight, Dr. Ramsey.”

“Thank you.”

———

One Week Ago...

It’s been a quiet day, most of the team’s patients have been stable and the interns are seemingly being competent for once. It’s one of those days where Ethan can actually enjoy the aspects of having a second, more private, office. There’s no glass walls for the prying eyes and gossip train of Edenbrook to take advantage of.

They’re making good use of the rare moment of piece, cuddling on the small couch in his office. Genevieve has her head in his lap, trying her hardest not to fall asleep while he twines his fingers through her hair. Ethan’s supposed to be reading the paper, as he had planned to, but his mind is to preoccupied with all the ways he can possibly propose.

He’s had the ring for a month now, hidden away in a safety deposit box. It’s the only place he knew where Genevieve wouldn’t find it. He wants the moment to be perfect, extrodiandry, which is proving to be a harder task than initially thought.

He takes a deep breath, focusing back to the paper in his hand and then he sees it. The small article at the bottom of the page promoting the upcoming production at the opera house. It’s one of her favorites, the same one he took her to almost three years ago. It’s the perfect place, the greatest opportunity to ask for her hand.

Ethan looks down at Genevieve, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I have a proposition.”

She keeps her eyes closed, but grants him the sight of a playful smirk. “Oh no.”

“We haven’t been to the opera in quite some time. We should go next week, Thursday night. Make an evening out of it.”

“I’d love that,” She sits up, hair a mess from his ministrations, “We haven’t had a real date night in forever.”

“I know. Sienna told me the other day that I’ve been neglecting my ‘boyfriend duties’ since you moved it.”

“She’s not wrong.”

“Well them let me make it up to you,” Ethan takes her cheek in his hand, pulling her closer until their foreheads touch. “Thursday night.”

“Sounds perfect.”

———-

The E.R. is absolute chaos, one of the many days where there are too many patients and not enough beds. Ethan makes his way through the maze of doctors and patients and over to Sienna. She’s about to hand him a patient’s chart when the ambulance bay doors fly open and paramedics rush in.

“What do we got?” Harper’s voice echoes from across the room as she runs through the crowd with Bryce closely behind her.

“It’s one of ours, Doc. Found her in the parking lot. ID badge said ‘Genevieve McClure’.”

“Oh my god.”

Ethan’s eyes meet Harper’s and it’s like the world stops. He feels his blood run cold, feels his heart stop and the air rush out of his longs. Everything around him blurs out of focus as he watches the paramedics wheel Gen into a trauma bay, as Harper and Bryce cut open her shirt and the blood pools around a dozen wounds.

“Dr. Trinh, get Dr. Ramsey out of here.”

“Let me help!” He tries to move, tries to get to Genevieve as fast as he can but Sienna stops him with a gentle hand on his chest.

“You can’t help her right now, Ethan. I need you to back away and let us work.” Harper doesn’t look up, simply yells at him from across the room as she hovers over Genevieve’s unconscious body. “Someone page trauma, now! And the chief!”

“For Christ’s sake, Emery, she’s my -”

“Which is exactly why I need you to back away and let us do our job. Sienna, get him the hell out of the ER now!”

Ethan feels Dr. Trinh’s petite hand on his arm, feels her pulling him backwards towards the door. He wants to scream, wants to run, do something other than watch Genevieve lay motionless on a gurney.

The last thing he sees before the doors close is Dr. Lahela doing compressions as blood starts to pool around Emery’s feet.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: am i the worst? I’m probably the worst. sorry not sorry for the pain. You know you love me! - Sara

(p.s) here’s the ring, it’s so pretty I could stare at it for hours.

Tag List:

@queencarb, @overwhelminglyaquarius, @me-and-my-choices, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @crazy-loca-blog, @a-crepusculo, @drakewalkerfantasy, @ohchoices, @adrex04, @udishaman, @drariellevalentine, @custaroonie, @archxxronrookie, @terrm9, @maurine07, @openheartthot, @gryffindordaughterofathena, @aworldoffandoms, @caseyvalentineramsey, @dulceghernandez

LMK if you want to be added or taken off the list

#ethan ramsey x mc #open heart #open heart fanfiction #love you home #ethan x gen

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peeterparkr · 4 years

Text

perfidy;tom holland|11

chapter 11: the sidekicks

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

chapter summary: brothers know best

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: swearing, angst, didn’t proof read, dirty dancing

word count: 8k

here’s a playlist

social media before you read (IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAPTER) :

tweets & texts instagram posts

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

Hey guys sorry for not posting! But to make it up! Here’s an extra long chapter! Thanks for your messages, I’m feeling better now:) And I hope you enjoy this one since I loveeee Dirty Dancing

We all believe in lies when we’re in love, even if we know it’s not true. We all want to trust people when we are in love. Tom still believed in y/n.

“I hate her,” Tom had stated as soon as he had walked into his place. He stormed into the kitchen as he saw Harrison.

“And we’re back to that, hi, thanks for the horn last night,” Harrison rolled his eyes.

“I hate her,” Tom yelled.

“You said that already,” Haz pointed out before walking away.

Tom followed after. “Well… you know what she did before calling me?”

“I do not, Tom,” Haz sighed.

“She kissed Timothee,” Tom snapped.

Haz paused and looked at him. “Tom.”

“Fuck her honestly,” Tom yelled again. “And then she just calls me up and then we—we—“

“You had car sex,” Harrison stated. “Which by the way, seriously be careful with the horn—“

“And then we went out for breakfast and—“Tom complained. “We had a moment, I took her to the tree house, we cuddled—See? That’s romantic, I’m doing hat? Then they almost caught us—Because we left her fucking car there, I held her hand the whole breakfast and then she dropped the bomb. She’d kissed Timothée.”

“She told you?” Haz questioned.

“No, but Timmy called her and he texted her—And I read it.”

Harrison watched him. “Tom, are you listening to yourself?”

“And it doesn’t end there, Harrison—She said that we are not exclusive, and then—“

“Tom! Tom! You put yourself into this, I don’t know what the hell you guys have been through, but you accepted that but—but, Tom before you continue this—I think Sam knows.”

“Sam?” Tom freaked out.

“Yes, Sam, he texted me he saw you both sneak out of the treehouse, he’s on his way over so you better start coming up with an alibi,” Haz suggested.

Tom was screwed. He needed time to think, and a shower would help him with thinking. What pathetic excuse could he give out to his brother? Did he really need to give him an explanation? Maybe he could say it was a weird place where he could focus and then y/n had read some lines with him.

But maybe he’d seen them hold hands,had he seen how Tom was holding her hand under the table?

There was no way he could’ve seen it. But maybe he’d noticed their behaviour. Tom wasn’t subtle when he looked at y/n. Not now, anyway.

But now Tom couldn’t focus, he had to think about y/n and what he was going to o with that, how to make y/n trust him. He couldn’t, he knew he had been an asshole, he’d made mistakes, some bad, some worse. And that had led him here.

Maybe he did know why y/n didn’t trust him. Stupid decisions.

He really didn’t want to deal with Sam now.

Tom had opened a beer as he was on his couch, staring at the lovely day outside as Sam had settled in. Haz was across with another beer, watching them.

“Okay so, care to explain, Tom, may I know why I saw you both sneak out of the treehouse?” Sam asked for the third time. Tom hadn’t answered.

“What’s going on?” Sam pushed.

“We—had a picnic there,” Tom admitted.

“Are you dating? Like last time?” Sam questioned.

Tom frowned as he turned to his brother. “Last time?”

“Harry’s not here, Tom, you can be honest about it, we all knew it,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Three years ago.”

“We—no, we are not dating,” Tom sighed.

Haz scoffed as he took a sip of his beer. “Were you 3 years ago?”

“Kind of,” Tom admitted. “Not really.

“Fuck, what?” Harrison scoffed.

Sam chuckled. “I knew I was right.”

“Three years ago was a very different situation, and I really don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Tom excused himself. “

“I just need to know Tom, what exactly are you doing? Harry was madly in love-”

“I know I know, Harry. Harry. Harry. I am very aware? I know Harry was in love with her. I’ve lived all my life knowing,” Tom snapped. “Harry loves her. No news. Loves? Loved? I don’t know. I know that.”

Sam frowned.

“But what none of you fucking knew,” Tom sighed as he stood up, pacing around the living room. “Is that I’ve also been in love with her since forever,” Tom explained. “I can’t hide it anymore and now that Harry is fucking getting married to someone else I might as well finally give it a shot.”

Sam was the one to sit down now as he watched his elder brother. “What?”

“I am in love with y/n,” Tom stated.

“You’ve been awful at showing that,” Sam pointed out

Harrison chuckled. “That’s what I initially thought, Sam but then everything makes sense.”

“Does it?” Sam frowned. “Because as long as I remember, you broke her heart in the blink of an eye three years ago when you were supposedly dating her.”

Tom coughed. “I know.”

“Right,” Harrison nodded. “You’d been hanging out for a while, I knew that, but then when we saw you, you left her all alone and ended up hooking up with--”

“Yes I know,” Tom barked. “I know, I fucking suck. I know, but I did this… Oh my god, everything I’ve done…”

“Y/N has always had a soft side for you, even after everything,” Sam frowned. “I don’t know how the fuck she still had a crush on you after she’s literally seen your worst side. I never told anybody this but that time three years ago, I was the one to drive her home, and I’d never seen her cry before, not that way.”

“Look,” Tom plopped back on the couch. “I know, I’ve been awful to her, but everything has a reason alright?” Tom sighed. “I’ve always… I knew she had feelings for me, alright? Especially… three years ago, and I thought, that time I could… I could finally tell everybody but then I saw Harry’s face and he was so heartbroken, he was so… So heartbroken.”

Sam watched him. Harrison waited.

“So I thought, hey, I can’t do that to my brother, I can’t let him be sad, because he loves her, okay? And… All my life, he was the one who was nice to her, he was the one whom she should like and she liked me? How the bloody hell did she like me? I did everything I could to make her hate me but we always ended up…” Tom rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, if she loved Harry things would’ve been easier but she’s broken my brother’s heart too many times, all by herself, and three years ago, that was on me. I was the one to blame on my brother’s broken heart.”

Sam watched him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“About what?”

“If Harry had known,” Sam explained. “He would understand, for fuck’s sake Tom, all Harry ever wanted was for y/n to be happy.”

Tom sighed. “It was easier hiding it, alright? I don’t know,” Tom snapped.

“Do you really love her?”

“Yes, fuck I love her, but now… Everything has gone to shit, okay?”

“And what is going on now?” Sam questioned.

Harrison rubbed his face.

“She doesn’t trust me anymore,” Tom sighed.

“Do you expect her to, Tom? Honestly? You’ve treated her like actual shit for a while and you expect her to be happy?” Sam frowned. “Really Tom, you’re the one who sent her to therapy.”

“What?”

“Three years ago, she didn’t tell anybody but me, just after you broke her heart she had to go to therapy, and do you really expect her to trust you again?” Sam frowned. “You really don’t know her, not like Harry or I do. And not even Harry because oh well, has she felt guilty when it comes to Harry.”

Tom frowned. “What?”

Sam sighed. “Didn’t you guys see it?” Sam looked at Haz and Tom. “She knows about Harry’s feelings. She tried to make his feelings go away.”

“This makes it even worse,” Tom snapped. “She is no better than me.”

“The difference is Tom, she never broke his heart, not on purpose, and the way to get rid off his feelings was by introducing him to other people, not by making out with some random person at a club when she was on a date with him.”

Tom stayed quiet.

“What’s going on right now?”

Tom sighed. “We slept together,” he admitted.

Sam took a deep breath. “I knew it.”

“What?” Tom frowned.

“Ah, come on you guys were not subtle at all, please,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Wait-” He closed his eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t fuck in the treehouse or else I won’t be able to walk in there again.”

“No.”

Sam sighed with relief. “I hate you.”

Tom stayed quiet. This hadn’t been the reaction he expected. He had obviously expected a warmer ‘oh my god, I didn’t know, you should go after her, big brother’ instead Sam was trying to get Tom not to date y/n, and not for the reason he had expected him to stop from. Sam was defending y/n?

“So, what’s-- what happening?” Sam asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Tom didn’t give him one.

“They’re enemies with benefits,” Harrison was the one to answer.

“What the fuck is that?” Sam watched him.

“I dunno, she came up with it.”

“Tom, if…No, why are you doing this? That’s literally the worst thing you could do,”Sam said. “Now that, if Harry found out.”

“I know,” Tom rolled his eyes. “I want a relationship,” Tom explained.

“But she doens’t want one,” Sam finished. “Right.”

Tom clenched his jaw. “Yes.”

“Did you expect her to, after everything?” Sam questioned.

“ I don’t know what to do anymore,” Tom started. “I’m angry at myself but I don’t know what to do I don’t even think she was that angry at me alright?” Tom explained, Harrison and Sam glared at him. “I… I really, deep inside. I don’t think she’s ever truly felt anything for me,” Tom said. “She’s always been confused, y/n has always been quiet about it, did she like me when I took her to prom? I don’t know! When we kissed? I don’t know! And now, even when… All of this is going on, I have never seen her look at me and feel like I’m the only man in the world, alright?” Tom frowned. “Yes, she’s said it, she probably told you about it, but with me, she’s never shown me she likes me, except… Except three years ago, And I fucked it up with her, and now…” Tom ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t trust her either, because yes, I’ve been bad to her, but she’s also been… She’s also broken my heart, I don’t know, three years ago, I.. I don’t know, maybe I had expected her to tell everyone because when… We had kissed okay? And she hadn’t really… It felt like a numb kiss.”

They didn’t say anything.

“And I don’t trust her, because she’s also… Remember about 4 years ago, she’s also broken my heart, when she said she didn’t care about any of my movies? Or when she stood me up for the premier? Or when she read out a poem on how dumb I was?” Tom pointed out. “I can’t trust her, because I know she’ll also break my heart, and I know, I know, I know…. I’ve been far worse to her but you guys, look….” He left the room and headed towards his room, searching in one of his drawers. He took out a small bag and then came back to them.

“What is that?”

“This is my own reminder that she also pushes away everything I give her, yes the context for this… Is my fault.”

“Dust?” Sam frowned as he stared at the plastic bag full of dust.

“These are the ashes from the last flowers I gave her I know I fucking broke her heart I am very aware,” Tom said.

“Why do you have that?” Harrison frowned.

“I don’t know why the fuck I kept it, I guess to remind myself that she would never… like me back because I had finally done it. I thought, hey she’ll like Harry back, but what did she do? She dated Timothée, even when Harry was going to be there for her,” Tom sighed. “I don’t know, I don’t know where I’m going with this, I have a lot of things like this, okay? Even if it’s fucking mental.”

Sam and Harrison watched him.

“But I don’t know what the hell I am supposed to do, I held her hand for—I don’t know I don’t know if she was sad if she was angry, because she didn’t care. I never know what’s up with her, she tells no one. And—after I did this I reached out for her, alright?” He held up the flowers. “Day and night and I regret it okay? Everything I’ve done because how the fuck have I allowed myself to hurt the person I’ve loved the most?”

Sam watched him. “Exacly, how do you expect her to fall in love with you?”

“I don’t, not… Not right now but I am so stressed right now, I want to show her that this time I won’t break her heart, that this time I am going for real, and that I want her to fall in love with me and as stupid as it may sound, I dunno hae a relationship, a normal one, I don’t.. I don’t want whatever we have right now.”

“Well, prove it to her, ask her out,” Sam said.

“It’s not that simple,” Tom said. “I don’t know what to do, because I just want to dive in but I’m also afraid of her, I’m afraid that she’ll take her revenge.”

Harrison shook his head. “That’s not like y/n.”

“Her revenge was probably dating Timothée,” Sam explained. “But y/n won’t hurt you, not like that anyway.”

“Well, how do I make her fall in love with me, then?” Tom asked.

We all believe in lies when we’re in love. But y/n didn’t trust Tom.

Y/N had been distracted. Maybe she didn’t love him anymore. He was only a distraction, but such a good distraction. The thing was, she didn’t know this side of him.

But she knew him enough to know he’d back up. Because y/n over the years had seen a pattern: Tom shows her some love, then he backs away and blames it on her.

Of course, y/n had trust issues. She’d been repeatedly stabbed by a man, and she’d actively given him the knife.

She had been staring at the Polaroid. If anybody saw it they’d think Tom was in love with her, his eyes sparkled with love. So gentle as a wide smile was shown. It gave y/n butterflies. But as she was hanging it up she stared at the other pictures, particularly at the one when they were back in Rome. A gentle jolt was felt. As if her own wall full of memories was kindly reminding her of what Tom had done.

Nobody chooses who we fall in love with, and nobody chooses where our heart wants to go. We can’t stop ourselves from falling. In whatever that sense it may come to. Falling down to the ashes of what something might have been is a stupid way to live by.

But when we do, when the decision is up to us? Is it wrong to let ourselves fall?

Because y/n knew she was going to, anyway. Either fall in love or fall into that dark place. There was no going back. Especially with those poisonous pair of lips he had.

Y/N had paced around her place and finally opened up her laptop to write away. Honestly, she couldn’t. She was too angry at herself because this probably was her downfall. Was she really looking for revenge? Did she really want Tom to go down where she had?

She didn’t wish that for anyone, but she had to protect her heart. She didn’t love him, but this was way too good to be written. Maybe that was the reason the script had come in so quickly, so easy to write sometimes. When her mind wandered to his broad back drawing to his strong arms. The late night conversations. However, she’d stop. Mostly because she didn’t want to daydream about him.

But she’d always written about him, how many files did she not have about him. Not exactly stories. But maybe a doc that was only describing how light hit him perfectly or how his laughter could outshine the whole room. The way he’d gently look into her.

A million poems dedicated to his smile.

Maybe that was weird. Too much for a crush. But really who else could she tell that she loved him?

Past tense. Not anymore.

But did she not love him? Because she had to separate the sex from her feelings, but honestly, his lips butterflying on her skin didn’t help. And her mind was roaming again. She went back and collected every single Polaroid she had of him. She hadn’t really understood why he hadn’t pointed out how many times he’d appeared on her wall. From children, to their prom picture, a silly picture. Tom here. Tom there. He was the main focus of her entire room.

Tom.

She’d even printed one in which he was kissing her cheek, just after Rome. Had he not seen it? Had he been so oblivious to how important he was to her? Or did he only choose to ignore it? Like everything else.

Because her heart did stop whenever she looked at him. But this was stupid, right? Having feelings for someone who had made her cry her entire life. Talk about some issues. He always ignored it.

But then all the other Timmy pictures hanging around stung.

She felt like she could still feel Tim’s lips against her. Soft and light.

The only company she had now was a little plush frog from her childhood. It was dirty and ripped off but still huggable.

Fritz.

Still huggable.

She didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t want to write. She didn’t want to do anything. She just wanted to lay down on the floor while listening to One Direction, because y/n had very poor ways of dealing with her stress. And because y/n was someone very lonely, and very quiet. She rarely told anyone about anything. Except Harry but… she’d always been careful around Harry. Because… Harry. Harry only knew about her slight crush. That’s what she’d said about it.

But no one really understood her feelings towards Tom. Not even her for that matter. Less now.

Luckily her brother had come to the rescue. A pizza and beers. Stella Artois. The one damned beer that reminded her of Tom. She wasn’t sure why.

Of course when he’d walked in and saw her on the floor hugging Fritz, surrounded by Polaroids featuring Tom with ‘If I could fly’ in the background, he knew it was going to be hell for him. She had cleaned the tears.

“I was going to say mood, but I’m honestly too concerned,” James said. “So, what is this? A ritual to make Tom finally admit his real feelings for you? Should I get candles?”

Y/N only looked at him, and pouted.

“Should I do the same with you so you finally admit your feelings for him?” He asked as he sat down on the floor with her. “You’ve been crying.”

She only closed her eyes and hugged Fritz tighter.

“You’re weird, N/N.”

He didn’t push the conversation, until they were both sitting up. Pizza seemed more interesting.

Y/N opened her third bottle of beer.

“So you have feelings for Tom, brand new information,” James said.

“You—“

James laughed. “You haven’t been subtle about it, though I thought they’d already be gone by now. I hadn’t seen you this way since three years ago. Thought you’ve grown out of that crush.”

“Three years ago, huh,” she looked at the now-empty box of pizza.

“Yup, you chose the worst Holland to have feelings for,” James pointed out.

“I don’t—“

“You do have feelings,” James concedes.

“I do, but I don’t know what feelings,” she admitted as she picked up a Polaroid and stared at it. She let out a soft groan in frustration. “How the fuck do you not expect me to like him?”

James stared at her sister. “And what’s the deal? You know Tom is in love with you?”

“He is not.”

“Harry is too, wouldn’t be surprised if Sam had a crush on you. Even Paddy.”

“Shut up. That’s not true,”

James let out a laugh. “Well, at least Tom and Harry.”

“No.” Y/N paused. “Not Tom.”

James scoffed, surprised. “So you do know about Harry.”

She did. But she didn’t want to admit it, because that would mean she’d broken her best friends heart. She couldn’t live with that.

“But Tom doesn’t love me.”

James laughed. “You’re so oblivious y/n, and he is too, he doesn’t know what his own feelings are.”

“No, but he is aware of mine and he loves playing with them,” y/n frowned. “And—I had promised myself I wouldn’t love him anymore. And I won’t.”

“Well what’s the problem?” James asked, “ah wait you’re working for him, so you’re spending more time with him,” James recalled, “is he being an ass?”

“No,” y/n was frustrated. “That’s the problem.”

“But what about Tim?”

“I—don’t know,” she closed her eyes. “I love Timmy.”

“Alright…”

“But god, Tom.”

James watched her and then gave it a thought. He suddenly realized it. “You slept with him,” he said it to himself.

“Wha—What?”

“You slept with him!”

“James!”

“Oh my god, y/n did you have sex with Tom?”

“I—“

“Oh my god, you did,” James watched her as he slowly freaked out. “Oh my god. No. Why did I ask you that? Gross. No fuck—I don’t want to know about my little sister’s fuck….God I’m gonna kill him.”

“James!”

James stood up. “I’m going to kill him, let’s go right now. God—“

“James,” y/n rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to kill him, how dare he corrupt my little sister? For god’s sake you’re childhood… friends! How dare he! I thought he was my friend but if he”-

“James!” She ran after him.

“If he dared to sleep with my—he’s a fucking awful friend. And I’m going to kill him, my keys, where are my keys?”

She stopped him. “I...didn’t sleep with him! James chill.”

“You didn’t?”

Y/N blinked. “No, I didn’t. You need to calm the fuck down.”

“Y/N?”

“We… kissed okay, now calm down, Jesus, James, you’re older. Be mature.”

“Sorry—And—“he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Sorry, even if you did it’s none of my business. You’re a grownup.”

“I am,” she continued.

He watched her, as she was shaking. “But… Oh my god you did. No, I know you—- You did sleep with him, didn’t you?”

Y/N didn’t answer.

“Oh my god, y/n,” he squinted his eyes. “No wait, I know you—you did sleep with him.”

She rolled her eyes. “If it had hypothetically happened, and it didn’t—Why would it matter?”

He rubbed his face. “Y/N oh my god.”

“Look, the only bad thing about this—Is our past.”

“I—I don’t need details okay? But is this going anywhere? Are you in a relationship?”

Y/N didn’t answer.

“Oh my god, you’re not that’s what’s stressing you!” James watched her. “Isn’t it? Yes, now I get it! Oh my god you’ve caught feelings but you—“

“James you’re—“

He had to pace around the room. “I need you to understand y/n that while you and Tom didn’t get along he’s one of my best friends. Alright? So him sleeping with you is a direct betrayal to me and I hate him.”

“Now we are in the same team,” y/n walked over to her kitchen to sit on the counter.

“No we are not, because you slept with him—Or sleeping?”

Y/N gulped.

“Y/N!”

Y/n looked away. “Can we focus on what’s important here?”

“That you have a crush on him, or what? Are you pregnant?” He asked.

“No.” She rolled her eyes. “The problem is way bigger than all of this.”

“Do you have tequila?” James asked as he rushed to her cabinets. “I need some tequila to be able to hear this.”

Y/N glared at her brother as he took out some shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. “You’re overreacting.”

“How would you feel if your best friend slept with you?”

“If Harry slept with you?” She chuckled.

James rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant,” he frowned. “And—He's been an asshole to you for all your life.”

“My point exactly,” y/n ran a hand through her hair. “Look, there is a lot of Tom and I that you guys don’t know.”

James downed a shot, and then poured one for her. “No kidding.”

She downed a shot too. “Oh my god, it’s only sex James, I’m sure you’ve had it.”

“I don’t tell you about it!”

“I wasn’t planning on telling you! I didn’t tell you!”

James downed another shot. “Oh y/n, I had assumed you had had sex with someone!”

“Can we not talk about it—“

“And I knew— like oh she probably, I mean. C’mon y/n. You were on the floor with Harry Styles—“

“One Direction,” she corrected.

“Not fucking important y/n,” James snapped. “I knew you were broken hearted but I didn’t—expect Tom? I thought hey, she probably slept with her ex again! And she’s confused about Timmy but—Fuck, Tom?

“Oh my god, James, I’ve been in love with him my whole life,” she snapped. “No—Not right now.” She had to pause to pinch the bridge of her nose. “I am afraid I’ll fall ban in love with him.

She stared at the bottle of cheap tequila, inviting her to drink more.

Her brother filled up his own glass.

“No, I can’t. Tom has broken my heart so many times I’m not sure if I could afford any more.”

James watched her.

“And that doesn’t even come close to where my actual problem relies on,” y/n explained. “It’s way more complicated.”

“Should I pour more?” James asked.

—

Y/N had confessed some things to James, and her brother hadn’t really told her anything. “Y/N, don’t get in trouble, you’ll end up breaking many hearts in this, but... your own heart is the one at stake.”

He had been right. But she hadn’t slept, at all. She couldn’t see him. She couldn’t see Tom, and then Timmy. She would freak out, because she couldn’t handle this. So she hugged Fritz, like that would help.

But her phone rang, in the middle of the night just as she was about to drift off trying to solver her problems by trying to find the answer in a dream.

“Tom… it’s 4 am,” she answered, angrily.

“I know,” he sighed. “I just—“

“I’m not in the mood I’m tired—“She snapped.

“I’m not calling for that.”

“What for then? let me sleep,” she frowned as she sat up.

“I don’t want this to be like that last time,” he explained.

Y/N wanted to cry. “I don’t want to have this conversation Tom, not at 4 am.”

“But I mean it.”

“What are you suggesting Tom?”

“I’m suggesting…”He trailed off. “I don’t even know what I’m suggesting.”

Y/N didn’t want to listen to him. “I think you mixed it up Tom, see? That’s why having breakfast is forbidden, and that’s why we shouldn’t have spooned and that’s why you shouldn’t have held my hand.” But she didn’t know why she was saying this, in technicalities she had him where she was supposed to have him. Was he catching feelings?

But y/n knew Tom couldn’t catch feelings. This was another game by tom

“But why not, y/n? You want it too,” he pushed.

“I don’t know if I want it, Tom.”

Tom kept quiet for a bit. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to burn another set of yellow flowers, alright?” She reminded him.

“II don’t think you’re getting my point y/n,”Tom gulped.

“What point? Tom can we talk about it later? I need to sleep,” she sighed.

“The point that maybe I don’t want it ending on me showing up at your door with yellow flowers? Unless it’s…”

Y/N frowned. “it’s what?”

“Happy flowers, maybe change the meaning of yellow flowers...I dunno y/n, I just know.#

“Well it won’t change, you realize that?” Y/N answered. “But why do you want to...We can keep this thing going, sex and no strings attached what’s the deal?”

Because she didn’t want to write about it. That was it. She really didn’t want to write about it, but this whole ‘enemies with benefits’, she knew she could sell it easily to her boss and she didn’t need to have her heart on stake.

“That maybe I don’t want it,” Tom said.

“You don’t want it?” Y/N questioned. It was hard to accept the fact that she didn’t want to admit that Tom may had had feelings for her too.

“Maybe I do want some strings attached.”

“You’re just jealous of Timmy,” she remembered where all of this had come from.

“Maybe”

“And that’s it, but I don’t— look tom, I’m not trying to get back to Timmy alright? Are you happy with that answer?”

“No.”

Y/N frowned. “What do you want from me then? Want me to go over, so we can have meaningless sex right now and then forget about all of this?” She said with poison.

“No.”

She groaned. “What do you want Tom?”

“I want to take you out on a date.”

She stayed quiet. “For what? So we can start hanging out only the two of us for a while, go out on dates and then you’ll end up with another pink skirt on a club and leave me hanging there? For that?” She hissed.

“No, to make up for that, because I shouldn’t have done that kind of shit,” he said. “Because I really never wanted to hurt you.”

“I thought you did, you said you were doing it exactly for that,” she felt tears coming down. “Tom we are better at being enemies, that’s what we are good at.”

“Are we though?”

“Tom that’s who we are, it’s our nature. It’s on your nature, we are always looking for a way to hurt each other to get back at each other,” she reminded him.

“Well shouldn’t we change that?” He questioned.

“We can’t change it, we are untrustworthy,”she explained.

“Well we also couldn’t be in a room for more than five minutes and we’ve managed that,” He reminded her. “I’m just asking for a date y/n.”

“And I’m just asking you to let me go to sleep okay?” She frowned.

He groaned. “Y/n it’s not-”

“I can’t deal with this shit right now, okay?” She interrupted him. “I don’t want to go to that dark place Tom.”

“You think I haven’t gotten to a dark place?”

She scoffed. “Have you, really Tom?”

“Y/N I have been awful to you,” he admitted.

“No shit.”

“I’m the bad guy of this story, I know that, and I’m an asshole, I’m very aware. But I think that we both know it’s no secret that I like you.”

She didn’t answer. Because she didn’t want to believe it. But when you’re in love, you want to believe in all lies.

“At least these days I’ve tried to make it clear.”

“Well, you’ve been years building up this whole I hate you thing, you’ll understand why I have a hard time believing you,” she said.

“But I mean it, I—I think we know each other that much-”

“Yes, to know we wouldn’t work, we’ve been proven, no, let me rephrase that,” she took a deep breath. “You’ve proven that it would take you less than five minutes to hurt me and hey, I’ve proven that to you too.”

“But we’ve also proven that I can kiss your neck and undress you in less than two minutes,” he chuckled.

“Goodnight, Tom.”

“No. Y/n, wait—”

“Well, but you do realize that doesn’t mean anything, if anything it means we can keep up with this whole benefits thing,” She said, as the thought came to her mind.

“No no no, y/n, come on, just—Let me take you out tomorrow. For lunch. Doesn’t have to be a date,” he pleaded.

“I’m not having this conversation at four am.”

“Why not?”

Y/N bit her lip as she hugged her pillow. “Let’s just continue to hate each other, fuck when we want to and we’re good okay?”

“No, not okay y/n, besides this is not like you.”

“It’s not like me? Well you turned me into this Tom,” she snapped.

“Well, then we’re done with the sex.”

“Alright.”

“No wait-”

But she’d already hung up.

Tom didn’t sleep after that. And he had gone to rehearse. He saw her, they hadn’t even said hello to each other. But of course after talking to Sam night he’d gotten a very different perspective. And after talking to her, it was too different. He’d fucked up by calling.

Tom had to ignore her, too. She didn’t want to go out with him, alright. So Tom had made sure to make her see that he didn’t care.

He couldn’t.

However, he didn’t blame her.

But he knew her.

He knew y/n was of the jealous type, very jealous. She’d shown it throughout their life, y/n was someone who wanted attention, all the time. She had always been the centre of attention, you didn’t need to know her to catch that. Her clothes, the way she’d make her melodic laugh be heard across the room, and the way she’d find the perfect moment to walk into a room. But she tricked everybody into thinking that she didn’t care, when in fact she did.

Of course, when he saw her, he knew that she knew exactly what she was doing. A headband tied up in a bow, and a white big shirt not fully buttoned. She knew exactly what she was doing.

So of course, Tom being so mature, made sure that y/n knew he actually didn’t care. And he’d noticed over the last two weeks that y/n would get very distant when his co-star, Maddison would get unbelievably close to him, clenching her jaw and faking a smile. Tom had noticed Mad’s flirting, he’d just ignored it.

Except for today, so when y/n pretended not to see Tom, he decided to approach Maddison. And as usual, she flirted, and Tom did answer this time, side-eying y/n as he was subtly touching Mad’s shoulder.

Y/N hadn’t looked up. Not once. And he noticed she looked tired.

“Hey, we should get lunch together today,” Tom slipped, loud enough for y/n to hear him. That’s when he noticed a change in her body. She didn’t look up, only eyed him quickly and then sucked in her cheeks. She took a deep breath but then continued her texting.

And he got her.

But that didn’t last long, because Timothée had arrived, and that’s when she’d looked up. He’d approached y/n, and it was slightly awkward. But he was so close to her. And her sight had turned soft, so soft when she’d stared at him. Tom could only clench his jaw and look back at Maddie.

He decided to ignore it and walk in after the choreographer had. Tom tried staying close to the door as he warmed up, either trying to show off or listen to the conversation y/n was having with Tim.

“Tom we are about to start.”

He turned and had to have his arms around Maddie now, that’s when y/n had slightly turned to him. But y/n was already smiling at something Timothee had said. Tom kept staring outside but the choreographer closed the door, and now he could barely see y/n from the window on the door.

Tom turned around so he could be more subtle, staring at the reflection on the mirror. And they started to dance, they were going to use some songs from Dirty Dancing, a subtle reference the director wanted to give out. Tom listened and tried to focus, the choreographer and director gave them notes.

But he couldn’t concentrate, his eyes were glued to her and Timothée. Tim’s green eyes always on her, and her cheeks up and curved. They were dancing, outside, mimicking Tom’s and Maddie’s movements.

Tom didn’t understand why it bothered him that much that Timothee was always dancing with her. Always. Dancing. Jumping. Perfectly. It reminded him of old times, at parties usually, when y/n would be singing along with Timothee as they danced.

But this was even worse because they were not dating and they were there doing it for fun. Besides, y/n looked gorgeous so stunning.

Those pair of high waisted jeans and that stupid white shirt. It was driving Tom insane as Tim and y/n were sillying around.

He hated how he made her smile. And besides, he was boiling up over the fact they’d kissed. And Tom had seen them outgrown the awkwardness? What had Timothee done to outgrow such an awkward subject? They’d kissed, that was worse.

He’d seen them talk. At first, he had said hello and he had stared into her eyes. And that was it?

And y/n had barely looked Tom in the eye.

Tom had to keep on focused, but he barely could. Maddie was not interesting enough and honestly, it bothered him seeing Tim’s slick fingers on y/n’s waist as she laughed. But then they stayed quiet as they watched them dance. They eventually weren’t even paying attention.

Tom continued dancing and trying to memorize it but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move, there was no rhythm in his body. And somehow he saw Tim getting closer, and closer, and he didn’t know because the reflection could be lying but he’d seen Timothée kiss y/n’s cheek. And Tom felt his whole body warm-up with jealousy and his head aching. And he felt as if the world was turning. He didn’t know what happened until a loud thud was heard and Maddie was on the floor and Tom was seeing blurry, on the floor, as well.

He was sweating, and he was nauseous. He had to stop to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“What the fuck, Tom?” Maddie complained

“I… I don’t know, I…” He was dizzy. He hadn’t slept, he hadn’t had anything for breakfast and adding this whole jealousy thing probably hadn’t helped him, at all. “I don’t feel okay.”

Y/N had run into the room, and over to Tom, who weakly sat up. Tim ran behind her..

“Tom, are you okay?”

Maddie frowned. “I’m on the floor, too, you know?”

“Yes, but he’s the one who almost fainted,” y/n sassed as she cupped Tom’s face. “Here, drink some water and… Can we bring in some sugar? His blood pressure is probably down.”

“You’re a doctor now, y/n?” Tom mocked, earning a glare from her.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

“I don’t know, tired, okay?” Tom answered, Timothée was only looking at y/n. He looked away, as y/n handed him the bottle of water.

The director watched him. “You think you can continue with this?”

“Yes, just give me ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes? I need the whole day to rest, you dropped me, now I’m sore,” Maddison complained. “Besides you weren’t even focused,” she continued as she stood up. “I’ll be doing it tomorrow”

Tom watched her leave as the director sighed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I… y/n’s probably right I need some sugar,” Tom admitted.

The choreographer nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry, I’ll… I’ll work with the other dancer while you rest a bit.”

“Give me a bit and I’ll try rehearsing it by myself,” Tom added.

The director nodded. “Yeah, we can’t waste more time, besides we already have to shoot that scene from two days ago, and we… can’t waste more time. You,” he pointed at Timmy. “Get the other dancers, I think they’re here today, so we will go to the other room and they’ll be... “ He ran a hand through his hair. “Just gather them in room 5.”

Timmy nodded, glanced at y/n and then left.

The director turned to y/n.

“I’ll take care of him, and make sure he rehearses,” she assured him.

Tom squeezed his eyes shut and then crawled his way to lay his back against the mirror.

“Did you sleep last night?” Y/N asked as she stood up, crossing her arms above her chest watching him.

“No,” he answered.

“I didn’t either, some weirdo called me at 4 am,” she scoffed, making Tom chuckle.

“Well, that weirdo had stayed up until then,” Tom admitted. “And then he didn’t sleep after that.”

Y/N scoffed as she sat down beside him. “Is that the reason why you were failing at every dance step?”

“Hey,” Tom nudged her.

“You’re usually good, but today you sucked,” she pointed out, laughing.

He rolled his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe.”

“And you have a terrible dance partner,” y/n added. “She’s too overwhelming.”

Tom chuckled. “She is?”

“Total diva, you shouldn’t go out for lunch with her,” she pointed out, looking away.

Tom smirked. “Oh.”

She coughed. “Yeah, no, not her,” she cleared her throat.

Tom clenched his jaw. “Well, I had asked a better girl to go out for lunch and she declined the offer.”

“Bummer,” she shrugged. “But she probably had her reasons.”

Tom nodded.

They stayed quiet for a while, Tom not knowing what exactly he should tell her. He knew he’d fucked up with her by calling her last night. But still, he wanted to keep fighting? How interesting was this that even after she’d shown him her worst side he was still in love with her?

He gave it a thought. Why did she love Timmy? What did they do together that made her happy? And he understood. Dancing. She always danced with Timmy.

“Can you help me out?” He asked.

“Hm?” She frowned.

“Yes, with the choreography, I need a better dancing partner and I still need to--”

“I’m an awful dancer,”she pointed out.

“Yes, but I’m good at leading, I just need to hold someone.”

Y/N hesitated but stood up. “Alright.” She offered him a hand. “But you’re better now, right?”

He took her hand and then plugged in the music.

“I love they’re using dirty dancing,” she commented.

He grinned as he walked over to her, placing her hands on her hips. “Okay so, let me lead, no no,wait,” he chuckled as he tried moving her.

“I don’t dance, Tom,” she reminded him.

“Okay, wait,” he took her hands instead. “Just, trust me, okay? Let me lead, help me out,” he said before moving her back and forth, as the music started her clumsy feet stepping on him. “y/n, don’t step on me,” he chuckled, as he looked her in the eyes. “Look at me… Two three four, two three four, loosen up your hips,” he instructed as his hand landed on it, let it roll, yes, a bit less hard.”

“I suck.”

“You do,” he grinned. “Now, okay, shoulders down, don’t lean back,” he commented, as his hands were now on her waist. “Okay okay, don’t be too harsh y/n,” he commented as she pushed her hips forward. “It’s… ‘ve seen you move, and you can be softer.”

She blushed as she nudged him. “Tom, hey, no, this won’t work.” She pushed him away.

“No, you’re doing good,” Tom grinned as he pulled her back in. “Okay, don’t put your heel down, feel the music and let me,” he chuckled as she was barely loosening up and then leaning closer to him. “Okay, okay, not that much, this is your dance space,” he pushed her back, as he opened up her arms. “And this is mine, alright?” He showed her. “We’re dancing not… Other stuffing.”

She rolled her eyes with a smirk as he kept dancing with her. They weren’t really following the choreography but this rather seemed like Tom was trying to show her how to properly dance. Not jump around like she did with Timothée. And she seemed to enjoy it, but Tom was getting nervous, this was definitely not what he’d expected to have from their last conversation. But y/n was giving in.

“I’m going to spin you around,” Tom explained. “And it’s gonna be quick okay, the key for this is, don’t look around, try to find the spot, which are my eyes,”he commented as he stared down at her. She looked him in the eyes, in her very particular way of looking into eyes, first staring into one then the other. “And when I spin you, try to find my eyes again, alright?” Tom had turned softer.

‘Love is strange’ started playing.

She had only smiled as he then proceeded to spin her, once, twice, three times and her eyes went back to his but she was dizzy anyway as she let out a laugh, almost falling to his arms.

“I’m the worst dancer.”

“Okay, that wasn’t bad,” Tom laughed. “But, we’re doing it again, remember, find your spot,” he reminded her. She stopped, just slightly, now her hands were on his face, cupping it.

He gulped. “Alright? You found your… spot?” As her breath fanned his, his heart beating faster as she stared at her.

She stared down at his lips. “Yeah,” she whispered.

He spun her again, and then she managed to bring him down to the floor. He only laughed as his hands landed on her hips.

“Sorry,” she gulped as she quickly stood up. Tom watched her from the floor. They kept on laughing.

“Oh, that song,” Y/N coughed awkwardly. “Now I remember that scene,” she mocked as she tried to move her hips. She rolled her eyes.

Y/N laughed. “Sylvia,” she chanted just as the song was playing.

“Yes, lover b-girl” Tom mocked.

“No, no I’m not doing this.” She turned around.

“How do you call your lover boy?” The song sang.

Tom laughed. “Come here, lover girl.”

“And if he doesn’t answer?” The song continued.

“Oh lover girl,” Tom sang louder, watching y/n blush looking away.

“No,” y/n said.

“And if he still doesn’t answer?” The song continued.

“I say,” Tom grinned. “Baby, oh baby” he crawled over to her as she tried to push him away.

“Tommy.”

He managed to pull her down to her knees to bring him to his sight. “My sweet baby,” Tom sang to her as he wrapped his arms around her, now the soft spot he’d had for her gone and filled with lust.

“You’re the one,” he whispered to her, as his eyes turned darker watching her.

She only blushed as she wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands made her move her hips, slightly moving down his hands to cup her eyes. His eyes travelled down from her lips to her neck as he nuzzled down to her breasts, but she pushed his head back up to her face.

And it seemed Tom had forgotten he’d almost fainted as his lips arrived on hers, combining his lust with her sweet lips as the song was merely a background.

And they were too busy to know that someone had seen them through the window of the door. But you know, when you’re in love, you believe in lies. And Timmy really wished this one was a lie.

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