#i’ve known him for a while now
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guys. i like a guy. FUCK. 😔
#he’s a real guy. not fictional#i just#FUCK#it’s like#i’ve known him for a while now#and so i’m like#i don’t wanna ruin that#and also#he like makes a lot of jokes calling me stupid and shit like that#so i’m like.#sir what are you doing#BUT on the plane flight home he asked me how my weekend was#and i told him about my adventures on the plane#and he kept texting me cause i said i was very uncomfyyy#soooo#idk what to do#and#I JUST GRNAUFKFODOSKMDMF#yk?#emi talks <3
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you know rereading the comic got me thinking and i feel ur the best person for this. im very intrigued by mitzi and asa's dynamic pre, during, AND post atlas. i really wish we saw more of what happened before atlas' passing bc mitzi herself said asa used to be so nice to her and i'm just like YO WHAT HAPPENED anyways hi hello love ur blog
hi! i’m flattered you love my blog! and even more so by the fact you think i’m the best person to go to for this question! i’ve briefly talked about mitzi and asa before when analyzing the lunch scene in my long analysis for mitzi’s and wick’s relationship, where i said this on the matter :
to touch upon asa’s treatment of mitzi, even from as early as the phone call we see that mitzi is forced to have a conversation with asa on his terms rather than her own terms. mitzi sets out with a clear goal in mind -- learning why asa sweet would attack the lackadaisy in the way that he did -- and she's repeatedly talked over and threatened, with her questions remaining unanswered. it’s very clear very quickly that asa doesn’t respect mitzi nor view her as someone worthy of his time like atlas was, and almost appears to approach her in a misogynistic manner. he demeans something as simple as her ukulele as a ‘teeny little guitar’ and acts as though mitzi’s tears would be bothersome to him, some sort of burden he’d be forced to deal with rather than a valid emotional response to threats, degradation, and the likes. while asa is by no means wrong with some of his observations, he’s certainly rude and uncaring with how he goes about it. when he tells mitzi that he’s here to suggest that she step down, because he so generously has her interests in mind, she doesn’t buy it ; once again bringing up last nights events, where asa willingly armed the pig farmers with the lackadaisy’s arsenal and sent them over her way without so much as a warning. asa dismisses this coldly, once again dodging any fault and claiming it was ‘happenstance’ and entirely mitzi’s own doing. even now, when he’s actively threatening her and making it clear they won’t stay friendly if she keeps trying to make it in this business, he still won’t fully admit to any sort of responsibility for the disastrous night he helped put her through. while this seems rather typical of asa given his disrespectful streak ( something even mordecai, as valued and as useful as he is, suffers because of ) it’s worth noting that this side of him is new to mitzi and not one she was at all expecting. she even says as much here, in heartstrings.
we also know that mitzi only met atlas due to her performing at the marigold speakeasy first, and it’s likely asa was rather present in her life due to his bond with her now husband. asa even admits that mitzi may be confused because they’ve ’managed a friendly coexistence for so long,’ once again hammering home this idea that up until this point, asa was indeed kind to mitzi, or at the very least cordial. but with atlas out of the picture and mitzi trying to take his position, suddenly asa is more than okay with getting her killed or taking all she has left -- even his plan is nothing short of apathetic and cold, an afterthought, expecting her to give up something important to her and only offering a one time offer to play at the marigold room ‘sometime’ with that ‘old band of hers.’ what’s important here is that mitzi is ruthlessly betrayed by a man who used to like her and is treated as a lesser thing due to his view that she’s too incompetent to run a rumrunning business. he also brings up atlas to, in mitzi’s eyes, ‘intimidate ( her ) into agreeing with him,’ and towards the end of the lunch, she looks particularly kicked and undoubtedly hurt. she leaves this meeting that could’ve stayed a phone call with a potential enemy made and with the world on her shoulders, now more determined than ever to be someone people like asa would be forced to respect. instead of being dissuaded, she’s been encouraged, and it’s not hard to realize why.
so, i suppose those are my very brief thoughts about them post atlas! but as for pre and during, i don’t think there was ever anything really there outside of peaceful coexistence. as atlas’s wife, mitzi garnered respect she probably never had before as a traveling musician! asa wouldn’t dare insult her or belittle her once she became atlas’s wife and probably felt no need to do so in the first place. especially since, after all, asa’s the reason atlas found mitzi at all, back when she played for the marigold room where i assume she was treated well enough given asa’s rather friendly mask. he’s a jokester! he’s well meaning and goofy, always smiling and his eyes permanently upturned looking due to the patterns on his face … mitzi wouldn’t ever really see the asa that many other people deal with, and even when comparing asa to her rather quiet and eeire husband, well, he’d still seem leagues impressionable by default. asa purposely acts like he’s approachable and harmless, and while mitzi definitely knew he wasn’t some angel, i do think she fell for that mask more than she’d like to admit.
how i’ve always viewed their relationship is that the very nature of it was dictated by atlas may simply existing and owning her. his mere interest in mitzi was something phenomenal, and by default, something people had to respect. asa sweet was kind to her because she likely didn’t linger in the marigold room for too long before atlas snatched her up. he’s then very cordial to her, probably armed with compliments and generous gestures of interest because she’s atlas’s wife and asa can respect that role wholeheartedly. it’s only when atlas is removed and mitzi begins putting her paws where they ‘don’t belong’ that asa seems to drop the ruse, because there’s no need to keep it up anymore. even though mitzi isn’t harming anyone and hasn’t tried to step on asa’s toes once, he still steals from her and puts her in danger without care -- not once burdened by any real guilt as he continues to threaten her when she doesn’t back down immediately. with how clinical the removal of affection is here ( because even mordecai hasn’t managed to remove viktor, mitzi, or ivy in such a careful or ruthless way despite his awful actions and words ) i find it hard to believe he ever truly cared for mitzi as an individual person outside of atlas. the way he so casually oozes disrespect and belittles her without blinking an eye is … interesting!
all of this is to say that i don’t think asa and mitzi were ever personally close. they probably never knew each other deeply nor made any real steps to try. they’d see each other because asa had a habit of appearing in the lackadaisy just as much as atlas had the habit of being at the marigold room, and so they’d greet each other and asa would be excessively kind in that bumbling fool way he keenly presents himself and mitzi would be pleased by his presence. very simple ‘this is my friend’s wife’ vibes and nothing more. i doubt asa would even be interested in cozying up to mitzi due to atlas’s implied possessive behavior lol … but it was kindness and it was caring to an extent. it just wasn’t as deep or loyal as mitzi might’ve hoped it would be.
#my asks.#lackadaisy#hopefully this makes sense!!#now i don’t think asa actively wants mitzi dead or anything. i do think he’d prefer it if she was alive … but he also doesn’t really care y#like. it’s not his priority to ensure her safety and he makes that very clear during the lunch despite his lies implying otherwise#and while i do know asa is acting a little crazy due to a third party stress on his shoulders —#he does say ‘things have changed’ and mordecai tells mitzi about his odd behavior —#i still don’t think he’d treat mitzi any better even if he was stress free. i just don’t get that vibe!#him and atlas are rather ruthless i think. in the sense that they can kill whomever at the drop of a hat just because they ‘have’ to#hence why ruby ( who’s known atlas for YEARS ) is still scared of him during the mini episode#like. this is how they are. this is what they do. asa can probably stop caring for someone in a heartbeat if it suits his needs#so i guess … maybe he did care for mitzi at some point? but still. they definitely were never close#anyway! hope this helps tickle your brain a bit! this is admittedly a dynamic i’ve only thought of in passing#so my views are a bit vague and not as thought out … lol … but enjoy!
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finished tbob technically but I didn’t do any decoding bc im a fake gravity falls fan and i never did any of the decoding even originally. anyway smiles. yeah therapy is exactly what bill deserves Because he hates it
#words from the monarch#the book of bill#yeah sure bill was in my mind but I was mentally stabbing him with a fork really fast over and over and over the whole time#also I’m so glad ford agrees w my assessment of bill in that he’s a needy theatre kid loser#i specifically called him cringe but rhe sentiment is the same#anyway i found an audio book for flatland and i think I will listen to that sometime tomorrow#the cover for flatland was on the tv when bill brought up his past. smiles#I’ve Known abt flatland for a While now but. yknow
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I don’t really know what I’m going to feel with new announcement/new music. I’m just in kind of a weird position this time and my sadness I’ve had over it is kind of blunted and empty and hard to pin down
#like in the past I’ve had sadness over artists dying I already liked#or sadness over artists who died before I was even born but could still be around if they hadn’t died young etc#but it feels different and kind of weird when it’s someone I learned about in the first place via news about their death#I just feel kind of. don’t want to say ‘guilty’ cause it’s not like I did something wrong#but regretful I guess because I wish I had known about him and his music when he was still alive#like 24 years of me being alive while someone was making what’s now my favorite music#but just didn’t end up on my radar until something sad happened#and now it’s too late for me to be like ‘I can’t wait to see what music he makes next’
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Trying to find the river otters 🦦
#mine#one of my pretty spots#OTTERS#speaking of#there’s this little area in the woods by me with rescued and rehabilitated animals they keep there’s owls and deer and other big birds#and the otter was gone for a while and is back#and I went there the other day and put my hands up on the glass and she RAN over and PUT her ungodly cute little hands over mine#love her more than life#the fox is gone now too I hope he’s ok#known him for yeeeears#I’ve posted pics of them all before I should dig em out#have the best stuff out this way#autumn#this spots in natick
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Finally got around to starting Hunted and I’m very much vibing with this season. Which is good. I stalled for awhile because I was worried I wouldn’t. Also Wu is far more endearing as a child than an old man. I love him.
#lego ninjago#Ninjago#ninjago hunted#let it be known that while I’m fine with Wu I’ve never LIKED him#like he’s fine#no hate here#he’s just not the kinda character I get invested in#young Wu is different#I love him#I now go to bed because it’s almost midnight and I’m blogging about plastic ninjas
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I love Esme and I root for her. Even though she’s made a lot of mistakes, I think she is a good person and I wish s5 was a thing so we could’ve seen her get the help she needs.
But her and Zig aren’t a good match. Even if the writers had Esme be in a good place emotionally and mentally when she dates Zig, I don’t see it lasting because it’s obvious that Maya will always be in Zig’s heart. She’s the woman he’s in love with and probably always will be in love with.
#degrassi#zaya#anti zesme#otp: it felt like the world was gonna end#I’ve had this thought process for a while#but looking at Ashton’s posts made me want to put this out#and obviously zaya is far from perfect#but zig was so passionate about maya#and in early s3 the fact that he talks to Maya of all people shows#that she’s his person#they lived together#have known one another since freshman year#even at zig’s worst (s13) maya was still with him#as Klaus would say 'now that’s love'
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Baylan and Shin are INCREDIBLY interesting to me. I really like them so much already and I want to see so much more of them
#Ray Stevenson is honestly giving a phenomenal performance I’m captivated#and this whole padawan master thing is so interesting because while we’ve seen dark side user have ‘apprentices’ or whatever they’re not#quite like this#there’s seems so much more similar to a Jedi master padawan thing than a Sith one#shin has a padawan braid#I’m just so curious abt them#and Marrok!!!#they specifically used him when referring to him#and I’m gonna hold out hope that they’re not gonna do some dramatic reveal of oh I’ve been a women this WHOLE time thing#that would be lazy imo#but I’m trying to think of any male Jedi Ahsoka might’ve known that would still be alive now?#allo can think of is those kids from that cw arc w gungi?#ahsoka spoilers#my post
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i love pride month but at the same time it always makes me feel so bad about myself. just knowing that i’ll never be able to properly come out because my family will turn on me and because of that i will never be able to have a relationship just makes me feel really awful
#i mean there’s other reasons why i can’t get a relationship but that’s mainly because i have zero to offer someone#unless of course anyone wants a useless gf#but yeah the more time goes by the more i start to wonder if i should just settle for some guy instead#sure would make things easier#never mind that’s not what i want but when do we ever get what we want right#there’s a guy at work who’s been wanting to hang out for a while now#i’m not sure how i feel about him tbh but he seems nice enough#i’ve known him for a few months and he’s always been nice to me#idk what to do#when i get zero interest from women but then i get interest from men#fish fear me women don’t want me it seems#it’s 2:30 am and i feel really bad so pls just ignore this#i will delete and tomorrow will act like nothing happened#questioning my sexuality during the early hour of the morning is a dangerous thing to do
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Bertie got fixed!! :D
#he’s very shiny now I love him#and he’s PLAYABLE!!! and IN TUNE!!!!! :DD#technically I’ve known he was getting fixed as my like Big Christmas gift since thanksgiving but#AT LONG LAST MY BOY IS SAFE AND IN A CASE AND HEALTHY#tomorrow shall be spent locked in my room attempting to remember how to play guitar#as school got v v busy and i haven’t touched an instrument for. a while#since like mid October#but!!!! my boy!!!!! :D#anyways I’m gonna go look for stickers for his and Annabel’s cases#Bertie needs a mechs sticker and I’ll thème the others around that#but Annabel is a lil more complicated#cause her full name is Annabel Lee after the Edgar Allen Poe poem#but she’s also partially named after Annabel McAlistair from dolls of new Albion#so I need to reference Both#anyways!! i love them
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just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo
#like it wasn’t even planned we just talked on the phone then met up at **** house chatted while our other two friends made us friendship#bracelets and watched the cat be silly with a bowl of water that was like two hours of us doing that#then agroup car ride (I love when we do this sm it’s like my favorite part when we hang out) skin to skin in a tiny fucking car laughing#talking listening to music on our way to Taco Bell then rode around taking scenic routes b4 gas station break to like pee n buy snacks :33#flicked up another scenic route went to the epic park w the cool playground n reminisced about how it felt like being a kid again at 1am#I’m convinced all these fuckers are neurodivergent bc not one of them can go without stemming and ***** fucking climbing on top of the every#single thing LMFAO doing backflips off of swings and stuff too I had like an insane amount of whatever bc I skipped like the entire time#just to idk be silly and **** joined in :))) switches seats in the car and went to another park then rode in the car again to more scenic#routes and all the way back to **** house to get our stuff and each driveour cars back home <3#we group hugged at the epic park and the moment was so surreal bc we all were close to crying especially ******* like I love my fwends sm i#cannot even properly describe how happy they make me feel like sonearnestly so#I weirdly felt closer to ***** tonight too probably bc we indulged **** antics together and were skin to skin in the backseat of the car#like having to fasten each others seatsbelt his arm awkwardly behind me n out the window that close n how alike we are…#OH WAIT him and **** buzzed their hair like days before n it really hit me that I haven’t seen him w shirt hair since I’ve first known him#when we all were once coworkers together and it’s like a fond memory now and crazy to think about how we’ve all grown together as friends#ok done being sappy now b4 I actually fucking cry like eyes are on the brink as I type :p#*#personal#heartshapedtrap#can y’all tell I left my journal at home… and needed to like remember how happy I’ve felt since seeing friends <3#omggg i forgot to mention how they all cheered and were like happy for me during the scenic car ride that I’m almost certain im lesbian#still unsure of myself but I think that’s probably the closest label idk I just feel really happy that they support me nomatter what yaknow
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I’ve been wounded by a tiktok. Well, I’ve had wound reopened but a tiktok.
Basically, a critique of a family prank video in which a husband pretends he’s destroyed his wife’s possessions, but not really. And the critique boils down to “Your panic and distress should never be the punchline to any joke or prank ever.”
When I was in college, my first year, pokemon soul silver came out. And I loved that game. I spent over 100 hours on it the first month alone and was deeply attached to my team.
I found out the following year, that one guy in the friend group had been planning, colluding with my other friends, to get a reset copy of the game and switch it out with my copy so I’d think all my data had been erased.
The entire friend group knew.
And only a single one of them stopped and said “hey, that’s fucked up actually.”
So this guy didn’t go through with it.
And I found out about his plan, while I was dating him my second year. At the dinner table. With the rest of the friend group. Who admitted that yeah, that almost happened and they were just going to go along with it.
I was fucking shocked and devastated just hearing what almost happened. This was over 10 years ago and I’m still traumatized by the thought of it.
What I hate most though, was that even after hearing this fucked up plan that would’ve fully sent me into a meltdown during finals week, I still kept dating that guy for nearly a year. I still kept all those friends who would’ve betrayed me throughout the rest of college.
And maybe part of me wishes they had gone through with it, just so I could’ve cut all those assholes out of my life way sooner, because that guy was still abusive and cruel. He didn’t change. My friends were still heartless and careless with me, and none of them even attempted to keep in touch after graduation.
My distress is not a fucking punchline, and the fact that every single friend I had in college except one was complicit in making it the punchline, is a scar that I don’t think will ever heal.
#that shithead purposefully upset me repeatedly and it wasn’t even until after I dumped him that his ex clarified#that he gets off to upsetting his girlfriends. like.#had I known I was autistic a decade ago…#I made the mistake of keep giving everyone the benefit of the doubt bc surely no one is that cruel. surely my FRIENDS aren’t that terrible.#but they are. they were. and at 32 my mom still recounts how basically every friend I’ve ever had has treated me terribly despite me bending#over backwards for them.#it’s no wonder I spend so much time online. ever since like 2004 probably.#the only nice people I’ve known have all been online bc shocker!#we’re all queer and neurodivergent and it’s infinitely easier for us to communicate through writing than talking#shithead McFuckFace apparently said a lot of fucked up shit about me before and while we were dating.#that the rest of our friends just. never bothered to tell me about.#anyways. I’ve been angry and overstimulated all day and now I have a horrible headache#love being retraumatized over and over by the same fuc#fucking things. 🙃 definitely makes my current situation so much easier. 🙃🙃#definitely does not make me wanna yeetus deletus myself from fucking existence. 🙃🙃🙃#and I just gave my cats their flea meds so I can’t snuggle with them fuckkkkk my emotional support kittens why u gotta have fleassss 😭😭😭#apple talks#to the tune of spam
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currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday
#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet#i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11#so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner?#it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’#which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him#he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol#but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men#and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny#and primarily attracted to women in general#like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian#but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem#idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it#i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore#i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know?#i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should#(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women)#(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺#this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post#anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear#reena.txt
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god the world must be so beautiful from behind rose colored glasses so thick you can excuse genocide abroad, violence and inhumane treatment of immigrants at home, a somehow even WORSE policy for COVID that lead to thousands more deaths, did NOTHING about the overturning of Roe v. Wade even though it happened TWO YEARS AGO already, and an increase in police violence and brutality towards black people.
Aw, but guys, guys look peepaw forgave the student loan debt of like ten people, so all that’s fine. Who cares how many black and brown people died under him, he forgave a debt here and there so it’s fine.
I mean, who cares that he’s so far into senility he needs visual aids to study so he knows how to leave a podium? Who cares if he barely has any awareness that he’s the president right now? I mean sure he called Lewinsky “President putin” and didn’t notice trump doing the fast part of rap god in that debate to get as many lies out as possible, guys it’s ok! Biden expanded NATO! Aren’t you happy? Don’t you feel safe? Come on, we can trust the weird hair sniffing pervert who can only hold on a coherent conversation about golf at this point, but hey! He’s not trump so no matter how many policies he shares with trump and how severely they are implemented, his name is Biden so it’s ok!
Who wouldn’t trust Biden? I mean, sure he said in 2020 he would be a single-term President and pass the torch to another democrat for the next term and all, but hey!
Who cares if he lies through his teeth, he’s just a politician he can’t help that!
Me, too! And you can't convince me otherwise.
#Of course the pfp for the oop is the whitest man I’ve ever seen#who wants to place bets if he’s cishet too?#making him completely unaffected by any of the mess Biden has made#this entire post is fully irrelevant since Biden has a snowball’s chance in hell at winning now#can the Democratic Party stop sucking him off and just pick a different nominee because they’re tossing trump a soft ball here#no one likes him except white libs and there’s a reason for that#’oh but trump will make project 2025 happen’#what has Biden done to stop that#Yes trump would endorse it more but Biden does not care about stopping any part of it#that’s why he hasn’t made any move to protect the right to an abortion#because at the end of the day he’s a Catholic fundamentalist who doesn’t believe anyone should have recreational sex#he doesn’t care about women#he doesn’t care about queers#he doesn’t care about BIPOC#he is not and never has been a friend to anyone but white conservative Americans#he’s only on the dem ballot out of nepotism#And he was only chosen as Obama’s vp because it made racist Americans feel safer#because they figured the racist white man would keep Obama in line#because Biden was known for his pro-segregation viewpoints as recently as 20 years ago#i know people on here are too young to realize this#but Biden has always been looked at as a conservative#but some of you happily eat rat poison from the palm of his hand while he pats your head saying it’s alright Jack#because a blue colored tie is all it takes for you morons to believe someone is your ally
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there is something horrifically grim to it, but illustrations for gaza and palestinians tend to catch more mass attention that actual photos of people. this made me feel incredibly helpless for a long while, seeing both how people would rather look at a neat drawing of red black green and white than look a human in the eyes, and how online platforms would rather push a viral drawing while suppressing those begging for help at the same time.
a way to cope with this feeling has been taking advantage of it to directly guide people to helping palestinians.
if art gets better traction, then there’s an incredible amount of good that can be done by creating art that immediately links to fundraisers. creating art of the many images of those who are asking for help.
within hours of posting my drawing, there has been jumps in the thousands for bashar from gaza’s fundraiser. it’s a small effort in the grand scheme of things. it’s not a fix it. but it’s something good. please take care of each other and do what you can. i think this could help a lot of people if a lot of people did it.
here is bashar. i’ve drawn him, spoken to him, and known him now for a few months. any shares help, any art helps. draw who you see, draw what you see. thanks all
#my art#digital art#illustration#drawing#artists on tumblr#free gaza#gaza strip#palestinian aid#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#palestine#all eyes on rafah#rafah#mutual aid request#important
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Coming to accept the fact that I’m very likely a system is scary man
Like. I’ll feel so close to accepting it one day and then go into denial right afterwards for days at a time
It’s tiring and stressful
#can these fuckers make themselves known in a way that’s non negotiable /lh#possum.txt#sigh#also I stg if I split a fictive of Adam from Hazbin hotel rn cause of the stress from this I’m gonna kms /j#I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming him for a while now and now I just. hear his voice in the head -a#-_-
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