#i’m so stressed it’s not even funny
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been having a good ol menty b since approximately 7:30 yesterday morning please keep me in your prayers
#i’m so stressed it’s not even funny#had to tell my dad i am not going with him bc i have to read so much and bc of undisclosed issues at home#hate hate hate
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so a box of all my important books, papers, and art from the last few years got flooded and now I have to go through it all and trash everything that got wet 😊
another awesome thing that’s happened this week ontop of our fridge breaking, my blistering sunburn, and the forecasted rain on my birthday 😊🙏
#I’m so upset#im tired#ah#man#why can’t we have nice things#flooded#I need some comfort#not ok#real life#rambles#I’m so stressed it’s not even funny#like I’m physically upset#why is it all going wrong#but here we are#it’s fine
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Mad we didn’t see thrawn in ep 3 but happy i got to finish my dumb comic (҂◡_◡) ᕤ
#star wars#thrawn#ahsoka series#ahsoka show#grand admiral Thrawn#morgan elsbeth#ezra bridger#ahsoka#comic#star wars fanart#thrawn fanart#artwork2023#myart#LISTEN! this came to me during stressful period idk if it’s even funny but I made it and I’m inflicting it upon all of you#haven’t made a comic in forever and I forgot how hard they are wtf you have to do the same thing so many times#trying to go with my gut humor and be looser and not over stress about art too much#also trying to simplify
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i’m so hungry but i feel like i can never eat in here ever again because…what if it attracts them…
there was a mouse in the unit across from me and now i’m too scared to leave my bed! but i need to clean my place so badly! especially now that there’s possibly more mice! help!
#i’m so stressed it’s not even funny#i’m so scared!#and so hungry!#what if one is in my bed how would i know#if a mouse bites me will i die#and if the answer is no how do i recover from that emotionally#i can’t deal with this i might perish on the spot
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If you have a bigass “HELP WANTED” billboard out in front of your factory with a phone number on it, but it’s just the standard phone number for the property’s landline so I have to sit through all the menu options, and there isn’t actually an option for job seekers inquiring about the sign, and when I press the extension for HR because it’s the closest one, I then get put on hold, and your hold music is literally like 70% pure static, and then after only about a minute on hold I go straight to voicemail (so what was the point of the hold??), and the answering machine message is just a guy saying his first name with no context and then there’s immediately a beep,
I think you should get sent to the shadow realm for a million billion years. Personally.
#it was 2PM on a weekday ik your asses weren’t on lunch#why even have the sign if you have nothing for people who actually call the number#I’m so fucking fed up man. This is why I’m just waiting for the employment program intake call.#sending applications is more stressful than trying to catch a greased-up pig with a cigarette in its mouth in an oil refinery#like… what is this shit. this is why I have zero respect for like 95% of HR workers fr.#TAKING MY APPLICATION IS YOUR FUCKING JOB YOU LAZY ASSHOLES. FUCK.#not all bad news tho! the phone call is tomorrow!!#and I’m REALLY looking forward to it!!#this is the best opportunity I’ve been afforded in like a year.#so I’m not too torn up abt the factory anyway.#just thought it was funny how much of a nothingburger it turned out to be#job search#job searching#recruitment hell
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She so cute
#beautiful woman very spunky and strong and wise yes yes#stop looking at the tv lines#I SAID STOP#my teeth are so sharp ouch ouch ouch#the medical field can be so terrifying I’m so stressed out aaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHH#what#I’m ok#hahahaha#have you ever seen the lights leave a persons eyes#what do these tags have to do with adira#why am I having a conversation with myself on here#I’m so sleep deprived it’s not even funny#the world of medicine is a traumatic place but I cannot replace the thrill it provides me xoxo#adira tts#tts adira#tts#craziest tags competition ig#tangled the series#screen caps#rapunzles tangled adventure
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It’s time to make coasters from a bunch of HSTs from the box of scraps I got!
I’m aiming for 4” ish square, and I’m making A Bunch so I can give them to my endocrinologist’s entire staff because they have hugely improved my quality of life. Like. By leaps and bounds. I’d make them all full quilts if I knew how many people worked there but that’s maybe a little much so quilted coasters it is! And maybe some quilted mug cozies!
#sewing#sewing wip#scrap management#coasters for endocrinology#I had a stress related flare up yesterday#that got to the point that would (prior to my current meds) take me like 2-6 weeks to recover from#and I am fine! mildly sore and I’m pushing water and salt a bit today to be on the safe side#but I’m not dizzy or shaky or nauseous or exhausted#as soon as I took my evening dose of steroids yesterday I was fine!#tired but fine and able to rehydrate with no problem at all#which is an absolutely phenomenal difference and I am so so grateful to this endocrinologist#who is my FOURTH endocrinologist#but somehow the first one EVER to bother to test my SED rate and for autoimmune antibodies#it’s been twelve years but hey at least he’s doing the tests#and the funny thing is it’s looking increasingly like my problem is not endocrine related like I thought it was#anyway he’s the best and I am envious of his flannel shirts
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Everytime I get involved in any type of drama or controversy it’s always like
“Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah AND LOREL!!!!!!!!!!”
“Oh What did lorel do?”
“Idk nothing I guess. But she’s like, vaguely in the area.”
#like the four times I’ve been involved in controversy#it’s always been really funny cuz the people who start it#explicitly state that I didn’t do anything and they have no beef with me#and I’m just thinking like even so do you not realize how stressful this is#why am I getting roped into the beef and actions of some other guy#that I have nothing to do with#crying emoji WHEN WILL I BE FREE
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genuinely gripping my will to make it to winter break with both fucking hands i’m so serious
#so stressed out it’s not even funny#i’m like super mega behind on everything and it’s really fucking scary🎀#one more week guys. pray for me🤞
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for any other astro students out there: observing a transit while Not Sober fucking sucks btw
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i need u to post more of your opinions bc everything you’ve posted recently has had me nodding my head. like what u said about those tiktoks people make about people’s profiles on dating apps and the surveillance state and how whiteness is the standard in a lot of self insert fanfic/fanart or just fandom in general to the point that people don’t notice how they box brown and black people out of participating. i’ve been thinking a lot about stuff like this recently and it’s kinda consuming me. like i really hate how racism is still so prevalent in fandom. the other day this fanartist i liked (not anime) deactivated bc people asked her to draw nonwhite and not skinny characters and she went on a colorist crash out bc she only wanted to draw her characters with paper white skin which then opened the doors for her followers to be racist. then “her sister” posted her ai generated apology that uses her bad mental health as an excuse while people became even more racist. like it makes me want to tear my hair out
SHJSDKD i’m happy to hear you like my annoyed rambling posts and i feel you, the rage is extremely consuming. not even joking, for both of our sakes, we have to remember to breathe and count the blessings around us bc it really is so easy to be mad at everything all the time always 😭😭 sometimes i believe in the benefit of the doubt, as in someone who isn’t black/brown and/or darkskin might be used to the way the world presents content, particularly content surrounding love and entertainment, and might have inadvertently been taught to mimic that isms so deeply engrained in it, but you can always tell by their response to being correct, and a colorist crash out and ai apology is absolutely crazy work omfg
#anonymous#i say this knowing i’m still mad all the time at everything but. i am getting better at mitigating the stress w things i Do enjoy#my ramble this week is that i love videos where people are like ‘i enjoy doing x and it’s my love language. so i did x for my partner’#and i really do like seeing that kinda content and i used to see more of it#but when i did see it the comments were always to the point of ‘lol and what does your boyfriend do for you?’ etc etc etc#which. i understand the general broad sentiment there—men rarely ever are in public spaces performing (labor in particular)—for their partne#and even when they do it’s a bit eh.#and i get that critical lens#but for the most part i think it was very clear that those (mostly) women were like. this is something i would do anyway/do for all the#people i love/how i show i care. which i thjnk is like the point of it all man#that’s love that’s community that’s a relationship#BUT i find it funny how now that narrative is shifting to more#‘here’s me cooking for my boyfriend after he had a 16h shift as a stay at home girlfriend’#or ‘my boyfriend is flying back cross country for work so i took off my job early to surprise him with dinner’#which can still be a genuine ‘this is me showing love for my person’#but also has a sort of inisiduous trad wifism woven into the wording of it now#and i know that’s the case bc the comments now are not in critique of the man and his alleged lack of reciprocal performance for his partner#instead everyone Likes the content when it’s presented this way almost like it ‘should’ be presented as#‘here i am as a woman doing x task for my man’ instead of ‘here i am as a person showing love to someone who i consider my equal’#which is a really sinister undertone and overal social shift esp when you factor in the…. everything happening in american and wider global#politics#but also in fashion in makeup in film/media#this call for traditionalism as Good as a mask for racism/misogyny/bigotry#Instead of tradition as honor acceptance and a ground to grow on#is really concerning. but anyway did we all try the chips i thought the chips were great
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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today is a day …
#I’m so stressed over nothing it’s not even funny#I don’t like to vent on here so I won’t buy my brain is so fuzzy today#it’s been like that the past few days#idk
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the fact that you have to thank someone for being nice these days because post pandemic aggression is overtaking
#corona knocked human decency out of people#no bcs we weren’t like this before quarantine#even the kids got it too!#naw listen#when you work with the public#u start to get scared leaving ur house man#it’s not funny#can’t even have a decent conversation without someone getting worked up#it’s so disgusting to witness#i know we went a lil crazy being locked up but— wtf is going on#😮���💨#anyway#can’t simb bcs stress is eating me alive#been playing days gone instead and omg i’m obsessed w this game#i think we should all start a protest for a days gone sequel bcs wtf do you mean it was rejected??? no bitch#i need more zaddy deacon st john!#chatter
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i have a check-up tomorrow morning and did the little depression screening thing online just now so it could be done. erm
#marzi speaks#folks i may be having a depressive episodeeee#then again. i am on a steroid. and am not even 6 months out from being diagnosed with a chronic illness#so like. that’s actually not too surprising#sighhhh. i’m tireddd but i have shit to do :[#my mom was gonna have me drive today but she did a mental health check with me and almost immediately changed her mind#which. mom i appreciate you recognizing that i’m stressed and deciding to remove a stressor from my environment so i can focus on other shit#but also you have to understand how funny that is.#‘you’re doing the scary thing today btw’ ‘oh actually you are not in a state to face that fear rn nvm’#thank you mother i love you dearly
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