| 25 | he/him | š³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāš |worldās biggest sweet creature fantrackfive on ao3
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so nervous about this flight that i accidentally came here two hours early! so now i'm in the terminal trying to be normal while i am, in fact, not normal (and very sweaty) about this experience!
#i don't know how any of this works!#i'm anxious and alone and moderately terrified!#i asked my therapist if i was allowed to wear a packer through security and he said yeah no problem#but they flagged me for it and i had to get a āgroin-area pat downā by a man who looked about twelve years old#manifesting that nobody kicks my seat or throws up or gets their toes out or spills a drink on me#can you tell i've only heard horror stories about flying lol
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Eek so super excited about the zarry fic š
oh boy, it's a painful one! i wrote it four years ago and have been sitting on it ever since, but i think that was a good choice. sensitive topics require nuance that i don't think i had a proper grasp on back then
#ādo you believe i'll never be too farā hurts when you think about it too hard!#the fic has technically been finished since october 2021#but finding it again recently made me think i hadn't done the topic justice#real life can be ugly and uncomfortable and distressing and not everyone gets their h/c tropes and a happy ending!#so i'm revisiting it and making some changes
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Youāre not in your flop era! And you never have been, Iāve never read something from you and thought āhm that couldāve been betterā. Absolutely love your work!
that's such a nice compliment, thank you so so much 𩵠i certainly go back to reread fics and think "hm that could've been better, also this is shit", but idk we're always more critical of ourselves
#it's hard to read something you wrote half a decade ago and agree with all the choices you made#for both prose and plot#but oh well!
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Absolutely LOVE your headcanons! š©µ
thank you!!! š©µ
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i'm flying out to go to pride with a friend this weekend, but i haven't been on a plane in seven years and i've never flown alone before and i'm really nervous because i really hate planes! but i really love my friend! but i really fucking hate planes! and i have to take four of them! by my fucking self!
#and what if they try to fuck me over because i have a female name but a male gender marker on my id#i need to change my fucking name asap#i haven't been on a flight since pre-covid and it already made my ocd issues crazy back then#the recycled air makes me feel so genuinely fucked up and dirty that i want to rip out my organs#and if someone gets sick i'll lose my shit#if someone gets sick *next to me* i'm going to commit a crime so heinous i'll end up on the nightly news <3#i love having ocd so much and i definitely don't hate myself and the person i've become <3#but i would simply die for my friend so i can get on a few stupid fucking planes for her
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Iād love to hear more of ur hl caretaking headcanons š„°
ooh absolutely. these are a little more domestic caretaking and less sickfic-related, but hopefully they work for you!
louis falls asleep in uncomfortable positions. sitting up on the sofa, lying on the floor, crammed against the wall in the corner of a dressing room...he's an expert at taking sleep when he can get it after years of constant denial. even as an adult, at home with his bed less than a minute away, he still falls asleep in odd places. h might find him sitting up with a guitar in his lap, his neck at an odd position from where he lolled his head back to rest his eyes for a moment. he's found his husband asleep at the kitchen table with his head on his arms, back hunched in a way that couldn't possibly feel good. h would effortlessly scoop louis up and carry him to bed every time, and louis would wake to find a soft pillow underneath his head - or even better, harry's steady heartbeat beneath his ear.
the boys struggled with the stress of the band, though it manifested in different ways. lashing out with misdirected frustration, pulling away and isolating, crying...they all had their own ways of coping, healthy or otherwise. h, during his most stressful moments, was prone to a more physical manifestation of his symptoms - psychogenic fevers. during a meeting about a new stunt relationship, louis might look up to see his boy's cheeks had suddenly developed a distinct flush that didn't fade with the end of the discussion. on a day of back-to-back interviews where h's reputation as a flirt was persistently targeted, he would be tugged away more than once by the makeup artist who wanted to camouflage the persistent pink tint on his cheeks. the moment he could, h would tuck himself into louis' safe arms, his body alarmingly hot to the touch as he begged louis to take him home while tears threatened to spill over. he wasn't feeling well, he wanted to go to bed, he just couldn't take it anymore. for years, these episodes had louis in panic mode. he would fuss all night long only to find that h often (though not always) woke up feeling completely fine. it was only after years of these startling occurrences that louis noticed a pattern. the mystery fevers didn't come often, but they appeared alongside some of their most taxing experiences. louis knew his boy wasn't actually ill. he knew the fever would fade within a matter of hours, but it didn't matter why h was burning up, achy, and desperately fatigued. louis would look after him just the same.
louis is a bit forgetful, by his own admission. he also gets cold very easily, also something he won't deny. even if he knows the weather is a bit chilly and reminds himself to bring a hoodie, he often leaves it behind. a gust of wind that blows past the band might leave only louis' spine shivering, but even though h isn't showing any signs of chilliness, he's usually not willing to ask for his jacket. he's too proud for his own good, and he wouldn't dare risk his babygirl getting cold just because he forgot his stupid clothes again. h is attuned to every last part of louis' being, so he can't miss the little shiver that quakes louis' shoulders. he eventually gives up on asking whether louis wants to borrow his jacket, as he knows the answer will be a stubborn no, so he doesn't say a word. he just slips it off and hands it over. though he wishes louis would remember his fucking jacket for once, h loves the soft sigh that louis lets out when he feels his boy's body heat envelop him.
#i love thinking about gay people in love#so this is fun for me!#i can't wait until *i'm* gay people in love (please please let this happen for me)
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Just saw your posts saying youāre planning on writing again, Iām super excited to read more of your work!!
i promise i'll stop writing my cringe hobama fic and actually get something done this month!!
#louis is obviously h's beard to hide his true love for barack obama <3 obviously#i will write a joke hobama fic and nobody can stop me
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jk she was in the bag i already checked six times
now where the fuck did my laptop charger go
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now where the fuck did my laptop charger go
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Really looking forward to the mental health/emotional h/c requests youāve gotten!
me too! do i feel a bit guilty putting characters in distress? yes! but do i love to do it?
ā¦unfortunately for them, also yes
in terms of emotional h/c, thereās a platonic zarry oneshot that i would consider posting if there are no objections to a non-larry fic
#or is a āwalking in the windā fic considered cruel and unusual punishment?#itās emotionally devastating to me personally#cried over it more than once for sure
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Super excited about the baby boyfriendās ideas youāre working on!!
ahh me too! i should seriously stop working on those and get back to the updates, but when has my writing process ever been logical
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Super excited about pins and screws!! I love all of your WIPs so Iām excited to see one of them get updated (hoping for honey Iām yours or the Christmas one next!! š¤)
pins and screws update has been stuck in the ādiabolically hornyā stage, so iām trying to make it a little moreā¦cohesive with the rest of the story
#i wanted to write something for pride month too but god knows when i would get that done#i guess larry smut is pride representation if you donāt think too hard about it#like happy pride month hereās h absolutely begging for it
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I reread some of my fav fics of yours recently and theyāre always just as fun to read as they were the very first time! Super excited to hopefully get to read more from you, too!!
thatās so kind, thank you so much 𩵠iām glad they hold up at least decently well after all these years
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Reading your fics has inspired me to get back into writing, so thank you for that!
iām so glad youāve been able to reconnect with writing! itās such a wonderful outlet, and i hope youāve been having fun š©µ
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Were you planning on finishing more than you could ever know itās okay if not I just reread it ik itās not anywhere near Christmas but it be fun to read ��š„¹
i will definitely finish it because leaving fics unfinished haunts me! iāve been tortured by āchapters 4/?ā since march 2023! i think i need to accept that not everything can or will be perfect before i post it and just get it over with
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I hope things have been good for you! Missing when you were more active on here, but hope all is well!
things are actually going well still! thank you 𩵠a friend got married last weekend, this weekend iām flying out for a pride festival in new york, the next i have two friends coming to visit for pride in my town, so itās going to be a busy (and fun) month
i have so many dumb thoughts i could share, so maybe i can get rid of my self-restraint and shitpost a littleā¦
#some guy at the wedding asked me āheyyy so idk how to ask this butā¦guy or girl?ā#genuinely loved that#the best thing anyone ever said about my gender#like āwhat are your pronounsā is great and i got that two times lol#but āguy or girlā after probably ten minutes of talking to me was so fucking funny
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Really looking forward to your TMHT Louis chest infection fic!
ahh that one is a huge undertaking because i did a lot of research and need to make sure iām getting the story down right, but iām excited to work more on it
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